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thefirstknife · 3 years

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Help, I ran Garden of Salvation with some clan mates and i'm Experiencing Great Sadness about the Kentarch 3 again.

I haven't been following you since shadowkeep, and was wondering if you had some theories about what happened, because a lot is left unexplained, specifically about Lisbon-13's motivations. The story from Yardarm-4's perspective shows that something is influencing them before they accept power (stasis teaser?) from the darkness. Do you think they really had a choice? Do you think he was influenced in his decision to kill them? If so, why? As a test just for him? Presumably he's still out there somewhere, and I can't tell from the lorebooks whether Rekkana let him kill her first or not. I just feel so bad for them, they all loved each other. Yardarm probably took the power in the first place to help get them out safely. Do you think it'll ever get concluded? The whole lore series seems interestingly close to what happens with Shayura, just sort of in reverse.

Kentarch 3 fireteam and the whole story on the Garden of Salvation armour and the associated weapons and equipment is amazing and very interesting, I agree. I haven't talked about it before but it's a good thing to revisit every so often! I think there's still a lot we don't really understand, mostly due to not fully understanding the power of the Black Garden.

In short for the general audience, Kentarch 3 was a fireteam that consisted of Yardarm-4 (Titan), Rekkana (Warlock) and Lisbon-13 (Hunter). They went to explore the Black Garden at the behest of the Warlock order called the Cryptochrons which Rekkana was a part of. This order got exiled some time after Osiris for dabbling in prophecies. Cryptochrons were formed around a Oneiromantic Circle and led by a Sibyl (or multiple sibyls; or Sibyl was just a name of one member, it's unclear). Oneiromancy is the practice of interpreting dreams to predict the future and sibyls were ancient Greek female prophets and oracles.

I didn't think this would get long but it did so the rest under the cut:

The Cryptochron order continued operating after its exile and Rekkana received a prophecy from them that revolved around a fireteam learning about the Black Garden and retrieving from it a Vex relic of some sort. The relic is the exotic weapon Divinity and the lore tab on it details the prophecy they were chasing:

"And after any other Cryptochrons they learn of. But your path is more dangerous than most. The Circle has foreseen many fireteams following in your footsteps. You can find the knowledge the order seeks at the Tree."

"Can? Not will?" For the first time, Rekkana sounded concerned.

"The Circle has had limited success in piercing the veil that surrounds the Black Garden, so the order offers no certainties. They say that a group of Guardians will discover secrets about the origin of the Black Garden at the Tree. The Oneiromantic Circle foresees no reason why it will not be the Kentarch 3."

"Nor can I. But…?"

"There is another thread in the tapestry, entwined with this one. The Vex, or some fractal faction of them, worship or honor a… divinity there."

"The Black Heart? It was destroyed."

"Yes, but this is something different. An object. Something like a sacred relic. It is important to the Vex for reasons that we have not yet fathomed. The Circle has determined that it is dangerous—"

"A Vex weapon?"

"Perhaps," the Sybil sounded annoyed at the interruption. "Rekkana, the Circle concluded that it is a danger to you."

"To me? But then, why send me on this mission?"

"When the Circle dreamed of the object, you were beside it."

They agreed that, should they find this object, Lisbon should be the one to carry it. They did find it and he was indeed the one to carry it, as is shown later in another lore tab detailed below.

We know that Lisbon-13 killed the rest of his fireteam because they got corrupted by the Black Garden, something happened to their Ghosts (they all just dropped down and started losing their Light) and then turned on him. He was being hunted and he really had no choice. But he couldn't live with it. In Beyond Light, he's shown trying to kill his Ghost in order to stay permanently dead because he couldn't bear the burden of what he did to his fireteam, even though his actions were justified and he acted in self-defence.

But before he managed to do that, he was faced with his own doppleganger, just like the YW at the end of Shadowkeep. In the end, Lisbon didn't kill his Ghost because the doppleganger offered him power and Lisbon (presumably) chose to take it: his wish was simply to make himself forget about his fireteam (and Rekkana specifically, whom he loved). It's implied that he accepted and after that, we have no formal information what happened.

The outcome of what happened to Kentarch 3 is somewhat known, as detailed in this ship lore. The Vanguard knows Lisbon killed the other two, they're not sure when they lost their Ghosts and they have not found anyone's body, not even Lisbon's. But we know from the lore that came out after that Lisbon accepted the deal with his doppleganger and we have no idea what that entailed. Is he still in the Black Garden? Was he killed? Replaced? Just memory-wiped and sent back? Something else entirely? We'll explore at the end.

I'm pretty sure the voices they heard talking to them were also their own dopplegangers. And it's somewhat implied that they made some sort of a bargain and accepted "new powers" that came "from the wrong side." There's only one description of it:

Her fist glimmered and quaked with an unfamiliar power. She only had to release her grip, and that energy would rip through him, burning without fire.

That's Rekkana attacking Lisbon. It's never fully explained what it is, but it could very well be some sort of prototype Stasis in my opinion. Or some other Darkness power. Not sure why the Black Garden would give them this, which is why I think they simply harnessed the power of their dopplegangers. This is something that's been mentioned a few times in regards to Darkness: duplication. Same is present with the Taken as well (Taken psions duplicate). I mentioned the duplication theme being discussed in Clovis' journal before too.

Honestly, I can't make any definitive conclusion, but Kentarch 3 definitely found something horrifying in the Black Garden and fell to its influence. They also reference doing the puzzles to get Divinity, which they got and Lisbon used it to kill the other two.

Garden of Salvation raid ends with a Pyramid scale opening up and leading us down into the area with the Darkness statue. I think this could've easily been some sort of a lead into the future of Destiny and the powers of Darkness. Kentarch 3 may have accidentally received this power early on or were perhaps some sort of a test the Darkness did on Guardians before offering them Stasis for real.

It's an interesting story and yep, it does mirror Shayura's fireteam and how the story is told! Each member of the fireteam tells the same story from their own POV on armour for that class. I'll link all of them in order, roughly how I think it's best to read each POV:

Rekkana: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Yardarm-4: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Lisbon-13: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

I like how the armour follows the same name pattern: Righteousness, Exaltation, Transcendence, Ascendancy and Temptation.

Associated Garden of Salvation weapons also have some tidbits of lore that might help, namely:

Ancient Gospel Hand Cannon:

"These forces have existed forever, but only one of them speaks to us." —Rekkana, Warlock of the Kentarch 3

Sacred Provenance Pulse Rifle:

"These gifts were not made for us, but we were meant to have them." —Rekkana, Warlock of the Kentarch 3

Zealot's Reward Fusion Rifle:

"Why not use these gifts we've been given?" —Yardarm-4, Titan of the Kentarch 3

I would really like to learn more about them, and specifically Lisbon because he might be able to actually tell us what happened. He or his Ghost, Piri, who managed to survive last we've seen her. I think the Ghost might be able to give the most accurate version of events. It's interesting that Lisbon was very much against whatever power they received and that was the reason he abandoned his fireteam, which made the other two consider him a traitor to their friendship.

Very intriguing lore story that could possibly be mentioned again in some form. Also as a brighter note, yes, Yardarm literally flew into the Black Garden with an entire ship and crash landed inside. On a less brighter note, we've never seen the remains of a ship in there (to be fair, Black Garden is huge) and it's somewhat implied that they entered through the Vex Gate on Mars which puts the timeline of when they got there into question. The Vex Gate on Mars that led into the Black Garden was destroyed in the Red War. The new gate showed up on the Moon in Shadowkeep (and you can't fly a ship into it because it's in a cave).

An additional note which answers certain things when it comes to Lisbon's fate that I hinted at before: in order to acquire the quest for Divinity, you have to go to the Moon to the Vex Gate for the first time. The gate will open up and a Vex mind will come out. This giant Vex minotaur is called Zeteon, Redemptive Mind. Upon killing this minotaur, you receive "Divine Fragmentation" quest. Details of the quest here. You pick up a Vex core that has strange readings coming from it and you have to decipher it by running it through various Vex technology. Once fully completed, you have to go into Garden of Salvation, do the Divinity puzzles and the weapon will drop from the extra chest at the end.

Why am I mentioning this? Well. Zeteon, Redemptive Mind drops a core that contains information about how to get Divinity. Lisbon was the member of the fireteam that held Divinity and used it to kill his fireteam. There's a quote from Lisbon on the weapon called Accrued Redemption:

"I should never have let it come to this. Now each arrow is a penance." —Lisbon-13, Hunter of the Kentarch 3

Divinity's perks are called Judgement and Penance.

Basically, I believe that whatever deal Lisbon accepted that made him forget his fireteam, free him from the suffering and redeem him ended with him being converted into Zeteon, Redemptive Mind. It's the reason why this Vex in particular had the pieces needed to construct Divinity again. Lisbon was the last person who had it. Becoming the bearer of parts needed for Divinity was both his Judgement and his Penance.

Final note because I love ancient languages being used for the names of things in Destiny: "Zeteon" most likely comes from Greek "zeteo" which means:

to seek, search after, look for

to inquire into, examine, consider

to strive for, desire, wish

Probably tied to Lisbon's search and desire for redemption for what he's done. I think that wraps up his fate quite nicely, although tragically.

#destiny 2 #kentarch 3 #lisbon-13 #rekkana #yardarm-4 #garden of salvation raid #black garden #darkness #vex #ask #long post #anon if you've been wondering what's taking so long for your question to be answered or if i've received the question #this essay is the reason shfksjfhskjfhks

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j-minte08 · 3 years

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Why do I award BalanWonderworld as a masterpiece?

Introduction

⚠️I'm using a translator, so I apologize if any parts are difficult to read.

In this article, I will write about why I award Balan Wonderworld as a masterpiece, with answers to criticisms.

When I played the demo version, I thought this game was SO BAD. But I believed Yuji Naka and bought the full version. (Before I knew it, I had bought four of them...) I'm not raving blindly about it.

At first, I was hopelessly disappointed because nothing had changed from the demo version. However, in chapters 2 and 3, I was impressed by the three-dimensionality and beauty of the stages, and in chapter 4, I realized the comfort of gaining freedom through the acquisition of costumes.

By the time I was completely finished, I was convinced that this game was a great piece of work.

This is an article that I wrote after spending nearly 100 hours on this game.

I hope you will read it.

Main part

First of all, this game is not a game with flashy action as its primary objective. (Flashy battle action is possible in some scenes.)

【Puzzle】　【RPG】　【Exploration】

It is structured around these three main components.

The game also features a "Balance AI" that senses the player's movements and makes changes to the difficulty and world. There is also a presentation of my own work, so please take a look!

Please read with the above in mind.

■ One button action is stressful.

▶︎ As mentioned earlier, this game is not intended for flashy action. At its root, it is an RPG and does not require multiple buttons. The reason it's a simple operation is because it doesn't need to be.

There is only one button, but instead the player is given the freedom to select up to three actions of their choice. The way to play Balan is to find your own strategy within these constraints.

Some people point out that you can't jump, but only a few outfits limit jumping. Most of them are attack-oriented outfits. It's up to you to decide whether you want more attack power or more movement power.

If you're still not convinced, this game just isn't to your liking.(If that's you, I recommend the Wii version of Rodea.)

NiGHTS and Sonic are also action games with simple controls, but the concept is different from Baran, as explained below.

From the very beginning, NiGHTS and Sonic are one-button games that allow for exhilarating action. The action feels good and allows for improvement through trial and error.

However, Balan begins in a state of helplessness. One of his goals is to use his wits and eventually gain the power to run freely around the three-dimensional stage.

Freedom from discomfort. This catharsis is the best part of Balan.

It is also linked to the story's theme of opening closed minds.

■ The structure of the puzzle is sketchy.

▶︎ There is an intention behind this. By making the puzzle structure more flexible, the player is given more choices.

Therefore, each player will have a completely different solution to obtaining a single statue.

Also, each time you play the game, you will find new strategies, making it a game that can be played repeatedly.

This is the reason why Yuji Naka was so confident about this game.

Personally, I think that this action with a puzzle concept has a similar point of view to card games and rock-paper-scissors.

The Mega Man series is a typical example of a game that requires you to observe the situation and your opponent's movements to find the right technique and move. In fact, there is a famous episode where it was derived from rock-paper-scissors. This is also a game where you can enjoy improving through trial and error, but I think the structure of the rules is similar to that of Balan.

■ It's a pain to stock up on costumes.

▶︎ There is no need to overstock costumes. The minimum number of costumes needed to clear the course will naturally be available. Dependence on certain costumes can make the game monotonous. Also, the BalanceAI can sense your movements and take countermeasures.

As the difficulty level increases, you will have a hard time because the costumes will not come back.

The game is made more interesting by the style of play that allows you to use all the costumes to their fullest extent and bring out the true value of each one.

If you run out, explore the stage while collecting costumes. It may lead to new discoveries.

Even if you don't have a specific costume, there are many situations you can get through by applying other costumes.

This degree of freedom is what makes Balan so interesting. The strategy is left to your imagination.

■ The stage is curved. Isn't this a useless design?

▶︎ The curvature of the map allows you to see every corner of the stage. You may be confused because there is no other game that tries to do something like this. However, this is an ideal map for exploration games.

The basics of this gimmick are used as of chapter 1. Chapter 7, which has particularly large differences in elevation, makes good use of this gimmick.

■ The difficulty level is too low.

▶︎ Basics → Application → Review (Boss battle)

This game is designed to follow the above flow thoroughly. As a result, the difficulty level in the early stages is kept low, but the endgame is quite difficult. I almost lost my mind in chapter 12.

The bosses are easy to defeat. However, it is difficult to conquer all three strategy patterns.

Also, if you keep defeating enemies quickly without taking damage, the difficulty level will increase.Stronger and faster enemies will appear in large numbers.I found the difficulty level increased at chapter 3.

In other words, the difficulty of the game depends on how good you are.

■ I want to have a HP separate from my costume.

▶︎ This system prompts the player to use a different costume in case of failure.

Depending on the situation, you can either sacrifice valuable costumes, or use inconvenient but well-stocked costumes... The game throws a variety of choices at the player. This gameplay becomes more apparent as the difficulty level increases.

If you separate the HP from the costume, this tense gameplay will be lost.

The system of choosing outfits based on what will happen next fosters the ability to think and survive on one's own. It will also help the child's ego independence.

■ I need more explanations and hints. It's designed in an unfriendly way.

▶︎ It's not a game that requires you to do anything difficult, so if you think about it, you should be able to understand it to some extent. All you have to do is immerse yourself in collecting statues by any route you can think of.

Some people criticize Balan for being old-fashioned, but they are missing the point.

Games are essentially content that teaches you to think and act for yourself. This is a posting of what games should be, and a refreshing return to the basics.

However, I don't mean to criticize modern games. The immersive feeling of being in a movie, and the friendly design of the UI that shows you where you are going so you don't get lost. I think it's a beautiful evolution for today's hectic world where it's hard to find time to be alone.

However, to be honest, it is abnormal to say that only works that follow the latest trends are evaluated, and it is difficult to say that there is creativity in such works. Evolving technology and the presence or absence of originality have completely different meanings.

I would like to say that games like Balan, which have their own rules and think for themselves, are what we need today.

■ I don't understand the story. I want subtitles.

▶︎ With both video and dubbing, the amount of information is extremely high. By not using real words, all the people in the world have the exact same experience. Very romantic, don't you think?

It's not to dismiss the unspoken parts as non-existent, but to let your imagination run wild and have fun with it.

Since ancient times, there has been an aesthetic in Asia that finds meaning in blank spaces.

If you want a more substantial story, I recommend the novel version, which probably has what you want. It is available for Kindle.

At the end

Balan Wonderworld is a game designed to grow with the player the more time they spend playing.

Despite its gorgeous visuals, the reality of the story is deep and Yuji Naka's philosophy shines through, making it a masterpiece that can be called a compilation of his work.

At first, you may find some scenes difficult or the system annoying. However, they all have a meaning and will make sense as you continue to play.

Balan is built on a very complete system.

EVERY MOMENT IS AN ADVENTURE... This tagline is true.

But the fact is that Balan is a very peaky game. But that's also true for Sonic and NiGHTS.

If you have enjoyed Yuji Naka's past works, you will surely understand the quality of Balan. I recommend that you take the time to face this game first without any preconceived notions.

Now that I've spoken highly of Balan, I'd like to offer some criticism of the official advertising.

I think the main reason for this failure was the poor choice of stages included in the demo version, which made it difficult to convey the fun of expanding the degree of freedom by acquiring costumes, the sense of freedom, and the fun of being able to create a number of unique strategies.

As for the official SNS, rather than introducing the costumes and the storyline by themselves, the official should have done a better job of showing how they are all connected to make this game interesting.

That's how it looked from my personal point of view, but I believe that the current situation is the result of continuous failures in the area of advertising.

I'm so disappointed that this masterpiece is being buried, and I hope that the officials will have the guts to turn its reputation upside down even now.

Hopefully, this game will get the recognition it deserves. I love Balan Wonderworld.

#balan wonderworld #game #square enix #game review #yuji naka #naoto oshima #バランワンダーワールド #playstation #bww #nights #nights into dreams #sonic #sonic the hedgehog

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sealer-of-wenkamui · 3 years

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Ciaran Character Analysis

I’ve been thinking a lot about Ciaran over the last few months, so I wanted to try and collect my thoughts and do a proper character analysis of sorts. Of course, things are highly open to interpretation in Dark Souls, so this is just how I read her character and the reasons why.

First of all, I actually don’t think she was together with Artorias for a number of reasons. She almost certainly had feelings for him, but I think she tried to hide them, and perhaps didn’t fully understand them. For one, she simply speaks of him as a “dear friend”, and while this could also be taken as her keeping their relationship secret, there is no description or unused dialogue from Artorias’ side hinting at it either. I also wonder if her unused dialogue where she calls him a “dear companion” was changed because it sounds too openly affectionate. In Gough’s unused dialogue he states that she had “strong feelings” for him, which is worded like they were one sided instead of in a relationship. And while he might have realized it, Gough is also the most perceptive of the Knights, even realizing that the fire will one day fade, while Artorias strikes me as being much more oblivious. Finally, her dying words come across like the confession of a dying woman, one who was never able to say her feelings in life, so she at least will say them now that she has nothing to lose. Interestingly enough, they’re also unsubtitled- words meant not for you, but for Artorias and for herself.

One of the biggest reasons why I think she would hide her feelings is her position. She is one of four Knights of Gwyn, entrusted with a special soul, and despite her appearance, she is considered something more than human, and seems to have disdain for humans (as seen by her dialogue when you attack her, or even just the way she says “human” in her unused dialogue).

I don’t think it’s the case that she’s human while the others are not just because she’s small, since size seems to be easily variable based on the state of the soul, for example Ornstein grows in size upon absorbing the soul of Smough, or Gael, much larger than your average person after consuming the dark souls of the pygmies. Perhaps even Artorias was a normal size to begin with.

Ultimately the gods and these demigod-like existences with their special souls aren’t all that different from humans, but the important thing is that they are considered as such, so she would be too. Humanity is constantly linked with the dark throughout the series. And even someone as kindhearted as Artorias, who believes in the goodness of humanity, thinks of the dark as something evil, something to be feared (In fact he words it as believing them to be more than just dark in his unused dialogue). One of the four Knights of the man who sacrificed himself to stave off the Age of Dark would want nothing to do with the dark. Yet feelings, and especially feelings of love, are a very human thing (just look at the pursuers/affinity description for example). That alone seems like the strongest reason to hide any feelings she might have for Artorias, to refuse to acknowledge that human side of her, to repress them and pretend they don’t exist.

Even more so than the other knights she comes across as having something to prove, as someone that has worked so hard to reach the distinguished status she has and doesn’t want anything to take that from her. The lightning arrow description mentions that female knights were rare to begin with, and she was able to work her way up to being one of Gwyn’s most trusted. The porcelain mask description mentions how determined she was to earn it as a decoration of honor (I imagine she first became an especially distinguished Lord’s Blade before becoming one of the four), and the English description actually leaves out another interesting fact- that it’s decorated with her own hair. The wording makes it sound like she cut her own hair to decorate that mask. This makes it seem like she wanted to stand out and make a name for herself- giving herself a distinct look that would come to be feared by all enemies of Lord Gwyn.

On the level of character design, her mask is what she’s most known for, the hornet ring description in DS3 even drawing attention to it. This comes across as a very deliberate choice reflecting her character- as she is a woman whose mask is more than just physical, someone who is perpetually hiding her “human” side. Her mask gives her an otherworldly look, like something beyond humans and reflects her “divine” self. Her purpose in life is to strike down any and all enemies of her Lord, and she has worked so hard towards that alone, almost as if she’s trying to become the mask she wears. Even though I think she might be able to relax a little around the other knights and especially Artorias, she comes across as a very serious woman that doesn’t truly know much about herself outside of her job. Interestingly, her face under the mask is just the default female face in-game, as if she truly isn’t meant to be seen without it!

No matter how much she tries to repress her feelings though, a mask is still just a mask, and they don’t disappear just because she wants them to. She has strong feelings for Artorias, a darkness she desperately wants to hide. Despite being a Knight of Gwyn, I tend to associate her with the darkness as a result, and even her name may be a reflection of that as well. Ciaran is common Irish boy’s name (Ciara is a girl’s name but she specifically has the masculine form of the name, a decision I also think was intentional and may tie into her being the only woman of the four and how rare female knights were) and looking around, she doesn’t seem to be named after any famous Ciaran as far as I know. So, what is the meaning of the name? Little dark one. A name associated with darkness seems especially significant in this series, and her struggle with her own humanity is central to her character, something that even her name itself betrays.

Since female knights are apparently rare, and she has an especially high-ranking position, I think she would also want to hide her feelings out of fear of being seen as just a girl in love. I also think its interesting how the hornet ring description also draws attention to the fact that she’s the only woman of the four, and how her name is almost exclusively used for boys, and I wonder if she went by the title of “sir” as well. At the same time, her appearance is the distinctly feminine look shared by all the Lord’s Blades, even using her own hair as well, so it’s not something she’s hiding either.

In addition to being the lone woman of the four, I also got the impression that she’s the youngest and last to join the Knights, which may further add to the feeling of needing to prove herself.

The main reason why actually comes from her speech pattern, when you compare it to the rest of the characters seen in that time period, it stands out. While Elizabeth, Dusk, Gough, and even Artorias all speak in an old-fashioned manner, she noticeably does not, except for “May the Lord guide thee” which sounds like a set phrase anyone serving Gwyn might say. If it was tied to status, then she would speak that way as well, she’s hardly trying to hide it (and besides we see other characters opposed to the gods that speak in the same way, like the hollow outside the Ringed City or Yuria). Maybe she did come from a more humble upbringing and that could be why, but with how varied the characters that do speak like that are I don’t think that’s it (and even some clearly noble characters don’t, like Lothric or Oceiros). So I wonder if its simply because she was born later once speech styles had changed.

Her position also makes sense if so as well, she’s an assassin, so even if she wasn’t around until after the Age of Fire had begun and Gwyn had gained status, that’s exactly when you would need a skilled assassin to eliminate your enemies. In other words, she’s not a dragonslayer, so it still makes sense if she is younger.

Going back to her feelings, the way I see it is that Artorias being consumed by the Abyss and killed is what finally forced her to face them- she’s not able to recognize just how strong they are until the man himself is gone. Perhaps she planned to kill him herself as she was in the area, but realized she couldn’t, or rather that she would almost surely hesitate and get herself killed. In a way, its almost a relief the chosen undead came along and killed him instead, she understood it was something that needed to be done, and though she doesn’t seem to like humans very much, she doesn’t hold anything against you. You find her immediately after killing Artorias, so she almost certainly would have been the one to find his corpse and make that small memorial, as if she wanted to make sure it would be her and no one else to find him. Despite being the kind of person who would always be watching her back, you find her kneeling in prayer, not so much as turning to look at you when you approach, and you can even easily attack her from behind in such a state. As if simply being there in prayer was the most important thing in that moment- and she surely has a lot of thoughts going through her head and a lot of feelings hitting her all at once. At this point, she can’t lie to herself, and even if she couldn’t confess while he was alive, if you take her life, she’ll at least do it before she dies.

When you speak to her, she seems to have no interest in you outside of obtaining Artorias’ soul, with only his will stopping her from taking it from you. She claims she wants to pay proper respect to him with it, but at the moment, his actual grave hasn’t been made yet, so I imagine she might take it into herself for a while until that point.

As to her eventual fate, I do think its likely she’s the corpse found behind his grave that has the hornet ring. At first I wondered why someone of her status wouldn’t have a proper burial, but in time, not many people are going to that grave, and those that do don’t return, so it may simply be she died after it was forgotten, and her corpse was never found.

The fact that she will give you her tracers if you give her his soul implies she gives up being a Knight of Gwyn (they’ve half fallen apart at that point anyway), but she doesn’t strike me as the type to kill herself right then and there, I think it would be a slow wasting away and curling up to die behind the grave of the man she loved. She (nor Gough) drop the special souls that they should have as part of the four… and while it may simply be to not further encourage people to kill them, if that soul is what gives them a long life (Ornstein is somehow still around after all) she may have purposely given it up so that she may eventually die… or maybe its after she receives his soul and she keeps both hers and his at his grave.

Finally, her ring ends up in the untended graves in DS3, and while there are a number of reasons you can come up with for how it ended up there, I feel like the most important part is the symbolic meaning behind it- for it is found by a grave with a Farron greatsword, one of the types modeled after that of Artorias’. It feels as if even in death, her feelings linked the two of them together.

While not nearly as direct, even DS2 has a parallel to Ciaran in the form of Alsanna. Much like Ciaran, you find her kneeling in prayer mourning her lost love, who also happens to be a left-handed swordsman who sacrificed himself and got corrupted and even has (several) animal companions. (DS2 also is where its mentioned that Artorias was left-handed, and its consistently used to mark characters paralleling him, even in Bloodborne with Ludwig.) Her soul even gives you a pair of curved swords. Parallels can also be drawn between the other three knights and people closely associated with the fragments of Manus, but only Ciaran parallels the child of dark herself, further deepening her association with the dark.

More directly, DS3 has the Dancer and Vordt, two knights who seem to honor Ciaran and Artorias’ legacy, and were always seen together- in fact you can see phantoms of what seems to be them before they were transformed into beasts walking the streets of Irithyll together (Vordt too, is left-handed). Despite how she tried to hide her feelings, I think it may have been her ring that betrayed them, so they ended up being remembered together. The Pontiff Knights in general also have a great deal of similarity to the Lord’s Blades, somewhat in armor design but mostly in their job, being described as Sulyvahn’s “punitive blades”. The Dancer herself most notably has two curved blades that look remarkably similar to Ciaran’s tracers in shape, as well as being gold and silver, even wielding the gold one in her left hand like she did.

There are probably more little details I could add, but this is already long, and I’ve covered the major points that I’ve thought a lot about. I tried to explain my reasoning as best as possible too, but there’s plenty of stuff that’s unknown and that’s half the fun. Feel free to comment, I love Ciaran and I love to think about her and discuss her!

#Dark Souls #Ciaran #Lord's Blade Ciaran #I've been dwelling on her ever since i met her in DS1....#i love her.....#i don't really write much but i've been posting a looot of thoughts about her on twitter and stuff #so i wanted to try making something somewhat cohesive to collect them all #didn't even get into little details like how cute it is how her voice softens when she talks about Artorias #or my delusions about how she might have initially reacted to his death #but i got the important points!#enjoy?#I hope i can make everyone appreciate her just a little bit more~

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creoterative · 3 years

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AoT x GoT Headcanons

This just came to my mind and in a few hours, I built a whole story with this sh*t, but who cares, so I’m gonna focus on the dragons for now ;)

warnings: mentions of blood and murder, mentions of ehhh.... not so good bed scenes

and of course, spoilers for both

Daenerys Targaryen

-portrayed by Historia Reiss

-although she entitles herself as the ‘Mother of Dragons’, she sees herself as more of a big sister and the Dragons see her as such too

-is a very openhearted and -minded person, just as Dani was in the first seasons

-wants to break the wheel and earn her right to the Iron Throne by releasing every single slave in all of the Seven Kingdoms, because she was used by her father to gain him more power (she was forced to sleep with several generals)

-loves her three dragons and if something happenes to them, she goes on full rampage

-when Reiner gets shot by a spear, she feels extremely guilty and apologizes to him even weeks after

-her favorite of the dragons is Reiner because he is strong, kindhearted, but a beast in battle, she trusts him the most, which is why she has a connection with him

-Galliard is her favorite when it comes to insulting and threatening her enemies, because that boy knows how to use his teeth and scowls

-Bertolt is her favorite when she needs someone to talk especially when it comes to serious decisions, Reiner can’t decide either and Galliard always wants someone to die, so Bertolt is the only one with a little bit of a brain to work with

-she enjoys laying on top of any of them in their dragon forms, because their bodies are extra warm then and can protect her from the cold, no matter what

-Historia hates it, when her boys fight, so if they do, she will start crying and plead them to stop, which, of course, they do immediately

-because of her experiences with her father and his trusted allies, she doesn’t know how to handle new faces and gets really shy around them, so her dragons get a little... overprotective in these situations

-but she can be a damn strict ruler, if anybody does something, that she doesn’t want to be done, fist on the f*cking table and a stern look, everybody will crawl on the floor

-she gets to know Armin Arlert later in the series and is attracted by him, although two of her dragons do not like him that much at first, has a relationship with him later on, but is killed by Armin right in front of the Iron Throne

-the reason why she gave all her ‘sons’ different last names, or last names at all, is because they actually aren’t related to each other and her consultants didn’t allow her to give them her own last name, since the Reiss family is highest royalty to them. Many of her consultants actually only see the three dragons as tools for battle and not actual members of the empire, Historia creates.

Drogon

-Reiner Braun, there is no better one for him

-but the role of Drogon himself would be a little... different

-Reiner can transform into a light golden dragon, bigger than a Boeing 747, with even brighter horns and claws, his scales shine in the sun and sometimes, when the light is just right, slight glittery patterns can be seen all over his body, giving him some kind of royal appearance

-his flames are bright as well, still orange, but intensive

-also his armor is the strongest among the three brothers

-he is Historia’s choice to ride into battle, which he is very honored by

-is very proud of his origin and powers, but doesn’t show this pride as much as Galliard does

-doesn’t interfere too much into politics, is more of a fighting guy and wants to prove his value to the queen, Historia

-his roar is veeeery deep, can smash a grown mans eardrums into pieces and scares the enemies even before they see him

-as he grows up, he realizes, that killing people gets to be a habit and Historia isn’t just breaking chains anymore, but also kills those, who don’t want to bend the knee, which he highly disagrees with

-nevertheless, he doesn’t interfere until the last day of Historia’s reign, he is the one to melt the iron throne in rage and carries Historia’s corpse to the place, where she gave life to all three of them

-as a dragon, he can fly, but he actually isn’t too good at it at the beginning, Galliard and Bertolt get way ahead of him, which is why Historia almost decided to ride Galliard to battle

-he likes to sleep in human beds more, being out in the open is more a Galliard thing

-gets in fights with his brother Galliard wayyyy too often, but gladly Bertl is there to reason with them, if that doesn’t help, Historia will just start crying right next to them (as they grow older, they don’t harrass eachother as much because... they would burn whole villages)

-he was the first to learn how to breathe fire

-his title amongst the people is ‘the one who breathes gold’

Rhaegal

-Bertolt Hoover would earn the role of Rhaegal, the fierce green dragon, Armin Arlert gets to be his rider later on

-in his dragon form, Bertolt is even bigger than Reiner, a good amount of bigger I should say

-his scales are actually green as well, but a lot darker than Rhaegals in the series, while his teeth are black, as they should be according to the books, his wings are the only ones being without any cuts or wholes, since he doesn’t really fight with his brothers

-he is known for his technique of clapping his wings together and creating a whole storm to send people flying, when he is asked to fight by Historia

-Berts flames are a dark green colour, sometimes a bit of black can be seen as well

-although he isn’t Historia’s first choice in battle since he is rather calm and shy, he can be a real threat because of his size alone

-he actually prefers to fight in the dark, because he can hide more easily even though he is the biggest of Historia’s dragons

-Bertl is the one, who is the most aware of his powers and controls them perfectly, which is why he always reminds his brothers to be careful with their tails or their wings, much to their confusion, I mean, he is the biggest of them, by far

-he’s a gentle giant, most of the time, and Historia’s preferred place to sleep on is his back in dragon form

-that boy can be such a d*ck, when it comes to sleeping, accidentally of course, because, well, he sleeps, but his positions while doing so are... random. In both forms actually, a house was smashed to dust one time

-politics are absolutely his thing, he loves to be a part of tactical meetings and enjoys to help his queen/mother with difficult desicions, although he is pretty shy around other people, who don’t belong to his closest family

-his roar is deep, but not as deep and loud as Reiner’s, even though he should have the lung capacity to make it even louder than his, which is because he actually hates to roar, is more of a silent assassin, you almost can’t hear his wings

-as Historia begins to grow a darker queen, he keeps himself out of it, only follows her orders, but deep inside, he questions their actions and feels sorry for what he has done

-he is really sceptical at first, when Armin approaches him, but as soon as he senses the Reiss families blood, he calms down and lets Armin ride his back

-they actually have a connection similar to that of Historia and Reiner later on, which allows Armin to lead Bertolt into battle and give him commands, just like Historia does

-he has this look, when he is in his dragon form as well as in his human form, a look, that can easily make anybody uncomfortable, though he just looks very directly at somebody. That is his way to say ‘back. the hell. off’

-Bertolt is shot down by three scorpion bolts in the battle at Dragonstone, Galliard isn’t there to whitness this, but Reiner and Historia are right next to him, leading to Reiner wiping out a whole fleet of ships in blind rage

Viserion

-the best one to play this part is Porco Galliard, just called Galliard by everyone, he hates his first name

-Galliard is the smallest of the dragon brothers, but he is actually the toughest and fiercest, leading to him being used in most of the battles Historia fights as the first one to attack the enemy

-in his dragon form, Galliard is of a smaller statue than his brother Reiner, but still pretty big, has copper scales, which pretend to seem a little bit darker, than they actually are, his claws look as if they are really made out of pure copper, but his teeth are pure white

-the fire of this boy is HOT, like he can literally melt rocks and metal like frikin wood, also his flames are of dark orange colour and sometimes a little bit of yellow sparks through

-he actually likes to use his claws to crush catapults and sink ships rather than using his fire, although it is really strong

-is the fastest of the dragon brothers and loves to speed through the enemy lines

-he often teases his brothers because he is the first to rush into combat and ‘makes things easier for them’ (actually he has to save Reiner a lot... and teases him for that as well)

-always the first one to say ‘let’s just kill them all, we know they deserve it, mom’

-he is rather harsh and cynical, but can be really sweet with children, tries to convince them that dragons are not always vicious beasts

-he often wanders around alone, sometimes disappearing whole months only to return from some smaller battles, because of that he has the best orientation amongst his brothers

-he absolutely hates fish

-Galliard actually would never allow any human to ride his back, not even Historia, doesn’t matter if Reiss blood or not, he HATES to be controlled, so Historia can only tell him what to do if he agrees to ‘help her out’

-has no interests in politics. AT ALL.

-Galliard doesn’t like other people, but is loyal to the kingdom and its queen, protecting Historia with his life, if he has to, still, no other people, except maybe some children, he grew fond of

-when he roars, it sounds like a damn hurricane is coming, high pitched, but terrifying as well, people sometimes actually think, that a storm is coming, when he roars, which he is very proud of

-is the first to notice Historia’s turn to the darker side of herself but thinks, that she finally accepted his sight on things, but as soon as it resolves in killing people just for the effect, he starts to question her, and actually speaks his mind to her very openly, only receiving stern looks from her

-he absolutely hates Armin when he first arrives at Dragonstone, shows that by growling at him and just flying away

-Galliard is the first of the dragon brothers to get killed, an ice spear pierces through his shoulder and neck, which kills him mid flight, is later revived by the Night King, also known as Eren Yeager, to fight against Historia

-he gets killed again when Mikasa Ackermann stabs the Night King in the chest, right after Galliard destroyed the wall of ice and fought his brothers in a devastating battle, in which Bertolt gets injured badly

#reiner braun #porco galliard #bertolt hoover #aot #aot headcanons #historia reiss #attack on titan #game of thrones #daenerys targaryen #drogon #rhaegal #viserion #headcanons #crossover

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steveyoungjokes · 3 years

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Veteran Feelings

[Unedited, please bear with me] I see many of my fellow veterans proclaiming that they feel sad about the fall of the U.S. client State in Afghanistan. Most of them say something like “surely we needed to leave, just not like this.” Many claim that their feelings are complicated. First of all, how did you see our exit going? It was always going to look like this! Secondly, I’m certain that their feelings are complicated. I had complicated feelings when I first realized that I was being used. That I’d been had. Taken advantage of. I served in Ramadi, Iraq, and watching it fall to ISIS was a horror. I know what you’re thinking and feeling as you watch us lose Afghanistan.

Your complicated feelings are the beginning of the realization that, despite your intentions, you were a tool for evil.

Whether it was to serve our country, pay for school, to just have a job, or (like a platoon sergeant of mine) because a judge made you, we all had reasons for joining. Most of us didn’t join up because we wanted to kill people (though there are plenty of those assholes), but our willingness to engage in violence for our country, or for college money, or whatever, was used by the folks in power to evil ends. Rather than serving your country, you served big business. I spent a total of 12 years in the Marines before becoming disillusioned and leaving the service. So when I tell you that you got played, I know how much that burns.

We weren’t in Afghanistan (or Iraq, for that matter) to build a nation, or to promote feminism or democracy, or even to capture Bin Laden; at best those were tangential goals. Even if you were sent there to give microloans to ladies, or to protect a polling place, you were only there to give a veneer of respectability to an illegal and immoral invasion. If you were sent by the U.S. government, you were helping its mission in making Afghanistan profitable for the companies that sell shit to the U.S. military and extract shit from Afghan land. At best you lent undeserved credibility to the U.S. mission there while maybe helping a local Afghan’s day better. At worst, you’re a war criminal. Most of us are closer to being war criminals than not, and that’s something we need to confront as a group and individuals.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that it was about making money. And the folks that started the U.S. invasion there (and Iraq. I’m starting to sense a pattern) didn’t lose the war, even though their home country may now be leaving the place behind. Rather than losing, they made out like bandits, making billions of dollars at the cost of hundreds of thousands of dead, millions displaced, and a country in ruins.

If you think that we were the good guys, then answer me why U.S. Marines use the Waffen-SS flag? Would the good guys use prisons at Bagram as CIA black sites to torture and murder prisoners? Would the people on the right side of history have suffocated or shot up to 2,000 prisoners in after surrendering? What of the thousands of Afghan civilians that are still being killed or wounded every year after decades of our presence there?

If we were there to help build a nation, why, after 20 years does Afghanistan still rank 169th on the U.N.’s Human Development Index? If we were there to rebuild their country, why, after spending $143 billion dollars of Afghanistan’s reconstruction is there no significant improvement in the lives of the vast majority of Afghans or development of basic infrastructure? We can talk about the kleptocratic leaders of Afghanistan, but they’re small potatoes compared to the largesse raked in by U.S. corporate interests.

If we were there to get bin Laden, why did we turn down the Taliban’s offer to turn him over. Was it because they wanted evidence, and we didn’t have any at the time? Or did we really just want an excuse to invade? Probably both. The same day that the FBI said they didn’t know who committed these attacks, President Bush said they knew who to aim our revenge toward. He claimed that they “hate our freedoms”, without any evidence to support that he was indicating the right people or that they did indeed hate our freedoms. If they hated our freedoms, why did the 9/11 hijackers target the World Trade Center and the Pentagon and not the Statue of Liberty? Could it be that they had seen that U.S. forces had, for over a century, invaded or coup-ed dozens of countries throughout the world at the behest of corporations? Perhaps they wanted to strike a blow, not at our freedoms, but at the military and economic terrorism that our government has wrought around the world in order to make sure that companies were “free” to make money without the pesky natives getting restless. Perhaps they remembered the time when U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright (#girlboss), said that killing 500,000 Iraqi children was “worth it.”

The enemy of the 9/11 hijackers is the same enemy as the rest of us. Our bosses. The person who tells us what to do. This is often a political leader. More often it’s a manager at work. For most of us, the boss just controls your schedule, your attire, and your pay (while making money off your work) and maybe your health insurance. These are relatively minor levels of freedom-usurpation. However, the managers and owners of the biggest companies, especially those that sell to the U.S. military, make billions off war whether we win or not! They only need the war to go on long enough to make a buck (well, billions of bucks). Political leaders in the U.S. rub shoulders, if not take orders from, those high-powered bosses. So any political repressions that our government engages is are usually aligned with the interests of the wealthy (see, e.g. the war on drugs). The present example is no different: in 2001 the leader of the Northern Alliance made an oil pipeline deal with an Argentine Company; we made sure he was killed on September 10, 2001. But now that the Taliban has vowed to not disrupt the pipeline project, and is actively extracting and selling minerals with the knowledge and aid of U.S. forces, it’s suddenly much less necessary for the U.S. to remain there.

If you have complicated feelings, it’s because you’re mad that you’ve been had. You wanted to do good, and only bad came from it. You wanted to help Afghanistan, but the U.S. only made it worse. That’s a tough pill to swallow when you’ve grown up believing that you’re on the good side. Now that you know that we’re the baddies, I implore you to help take power from the real bad folks, those who make sure that military options are on the table because they are the options that make money for the already wealthy.

Your complicated feelings probably include anger. Just make sure you direct your anger at the right enemy. The Taliban is bad, definitely, but they’ve objectively done less bad in the world than U.S. foreign policy has. Help us change this country so that it will serve its citizens, and not harm anyone. Get money out of politics, fight for democracy in the workplace, and the right to vote guaranteed for everyone.

#afghanistan #taliban #usmc #veteran #9/11

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merakiui · 4 years

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There's an AFTERL!FE blog now! I'm so happy. All of your posts are so good and I love how you write. Would it be possible to get another story about Theo and Nine's rivalry? The way you write them is just so fun and enjoyable to read.

(Thank you so much! I’m very happy that you like my posts. (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ* You may definitely have another story of their rivalry! I had a blast writing it. This can be considered a sequel to Cake, but it can be read as a standalone as well.)

Nerium Oleander (Theo and Nine)

Stalkers are poison ivy. Their victims are innocent trees, who breathe life and fortune into the one who watches them like a hawk. Twining around their limbs like rope and heavy iron and keeping them pinned for all their worth—it’s a display of parasitic infatuation. Love, like any other emotion felt in full, is awfully draining. Day and night, allowing that person to consume your thoughts. Thinking and wondering if they appreciate you just as much as you value them. Wishing that they would notice everything you’ve done for them on the sidelines. Loathing anyone who threatens that nonexistent relationship.

As fate would have it, there are unlucky instances in which love is one-sided.

Theo simply can’t bear the thought of that, so he becomes oleander—a flower blooming in beautiful death. One hint of its aroma can send you to an early grave. Every inch of the inviting flower is bathed in poison, and yet it’s still so gorgeous. Why is it that the ugliest personalities have the prettiest shells? It’s frustrating to know that he has competition. In a setting with nineteen other Reapers, Theo’s got a lot on his plate. Like ivy and oleander, it’s the exterior that fools. A sharp, monstrous idea can be wonderful as long as it’s hidden within layers of honeyed promises. Like a cake that’s stacked with plenty of delicious flavors.

He doesn’t want to waste his time on endeavors that won’t bear any fruit, but befriending every Reaper will have its benefits. He’s already made a list of those who pose the highest threat to his precious manager. Nine is at the very top, his name circled in black pen. As much as he dislikes the polite and oh-so-gracious Reaper, he has to pretend as if the two of them are friendly coworkers. As if he doesn’t wish for Nine to transfer to another Department or to cease existing. But immortality is funny like that. You’re either stuck with the best people in the world or the fiends of your worst nightmares. Theo wonders if this is his punishment. Spending an eternity with Nine is far more hellish than Quincy and his status as a devil.

Which is why he holds so much hatred for those who hurt his manager, specifically the ones who simply don’t know when to quit.

The blue-eyed oleander witnesses it in the early hours of the morning during a particularly unfavorable mission. A vengeful spirit had the gall to hurt his manager, and they had even more of a spine to talk to them as if they were a worthless weed. In his garden of noxious plants, Theo sees the disgusting hemlock attempting to snuff out the beauty that is his beloved rose. His expression switches in an instant, a light flickering behind those expansive eyes. There are so many emotions he feels in that moment, but fear is dominant as it grabs his heart and squeezes. The spirit could kill them. It’s about to kill them, and he’s flipping through his spell book with rapturous intent.

And then Nine is at their side, shielding them from the spirit’s attack. Before him, the specter vents in anger, spewing meaningless insults. Theo feels as though he’s just been kicked in the stomach. Why is it so hard to get to you? he thinks, gripping the leather book. His chest aches as he sees the manager cling to Nine. Why can’t I be the one who saves you for once? Why can’t you just rely on me? Nine is better equipped to deal with the situation as he listens, attempting to reason with the vengeful spirit. Its crocodile tears don’t faze Theo in the slightest. He should be the one crying because he was too late. One spell and his manager would’ve been rescued from the claws of such a beastly spirit. And yet Nine was faster with his reaction time.

Theo makes a mental note of the way Nine purifies the vengeful spirit once it’s calmed down. He’s always gentle when he talks to them, using his relaxing aura to coax them into tranquility. Theo would’ve preferred to crush it beneath his unmerciful heel, but the problem has been solved. There’s no use fretting over it now. Though it will definitely keep him awake tonight.

“Manager!” He jogs over to them, dropping down to inspect their wounds. “Take this to stop the bleeding. I’ll help you.” Unfastening his cape, he passes it to the manager, who holds it against the bloody laceration while he searches for a proper healing spell.

“Thank you, Theo,” (Name) says, wincing at the stinging sensation. “That spirit really put up a fight. Thanks for coming to my aid, Nine.”

“No need to thank me, Manager. I’m relieved you’ll be okay. Mr. Theo will have you healed in no time.”

Theo grits his teeth before facing Nine. He wants this unworthy hemlock out of his special garden. “Could you gather the others? Let them know that we’re finished over here.”

“Very well. Are you sure you don’t need my help?”

“No.” It comes out way too stern, and Theo’s quick to correct himself. “No thank you. We’ll be fine.”

He doesn’t spare Nine another glance as he departs, focusing on the manager’s pained expression with sympathy. They’re in his arms now, grasping at him for salvation. The situation couldn’t be anymore perfect.

“That was crazy, wasn’t it?” they ask, making light of the previous events. “My heart is still racing!”

“I...was so worried, Manager.”

They let out a wheezing chuckle. “Thank goodness Nine was there. If it weren’t for him, I could’ve gotten killed. It’s scary to think about.”

“Yeah. Terrifying,” he echoes while casting the healing spell on them. Surely there’s a curse that brings misfortune. Theo wants to do everything he can to master every negative incantation there is. Just for future reference. There are so many possibilities when it comes to his rivals. He’ll have a field day debating which is the most effective. “You’ve got to be more careful. If you ever find yourself in trouble, just come to me. I’ll always be here to help you.”

They smile, sitting up on their own accord and feeling for any wounds that might’ve escaped the cleansing powers of Theo’s magic. Every cut is sealed and every bruise is gone, leaving the manager with a feeling of rejuvenation. At once, they recognize the plush fabric of Theo’s cape and gasp, noticing just how much blood has stained the white cloth.

“I’m sorry for making such a mess. I’ll wash this as soon as we get back.”

Theo eyes the color with disdain. How utterly cliché. It’s almost sickening. Red on white is too bold—too deep of an implication. Red is a color that means many things, two of that being passion and love. A third is the color of blood. And white is meant to symbolize purity. Theo knows he’ll have to work hard so that the manager’s purity doesn’t bleed out onto the sterile white of this corrupt world. There’s no way he’ll ever let that happen. When he stares at his cape, drenched in splotchy crimson, he sees more than just a soiled piece of fabric. He sees the darkest imprint of (Name). But blood is still messy, even if it is his beloved’s.

Theo wonders which cleaning agent is best for erasing blood. His thoughts spiral deeper and deeper into a rabbit hole of wickedness. Mortality is fragile, and cake and blood are no different. Both are victims of inescapable chance. On the other hand, immortality is a curse that binds him to the one he’d rather be far away from. Speak of the hemlock, who has completed the command with diligence. Nine approaches with the others in tow, all of whom crowd the manager like insects. Theo wishes to spend a moment longer with them. Just a few more minutes. There’s so much I want to tell you. He’s bound to this silver-lined rivalry, a prisoner of obsession. And Nine has no idea.

He supposes that’s how poison works. It doesn’t take long until it spreads within its victim, who is unaware as it shuts down vital organs and flatlines their functions. If Theo has to cut the strings that tie him to Nine and anyone else who dares get in the way of him and the manager, he’ll do whatever it takes. Like poison, it’s small and deadly. Poison might not kill an immortal Soul Reaper, but that has nothing to do with their mentality. Cake might be the same when it comes to ingredients and presentation, but it’s the baker who’s most important. A cracked baker is easy to exploit. He’s even easier to tear apart when he’s alone and basking in his own corrosive thoughts.

The oleander festers at the manager’s side, a quiet flower waiting for an opportunity to infect everyone with debilitating poison.

------

Nine has begun to notice a pattern. It’s tiny at first—like a minor inconsistency that isn’t worth the trouble. But then it becomes a prominent itch that looms in the back of his mind like a shadow. Since that mission, Theo’s been hanging around the manager as if he expects another near-death experience to happen, which shouldn’t be much of a worry. Although (Name)’s mortality is concerning, Nine knows the Reapers in the 14th Department would never let any fatal harm befall their precious manager. So why is there a strange feeling that overwhelms him whenever he spots Theo trailing after them, holding files or a bento he made specifically for them? Anyone with half of a brain would assume he’s playing favorites, attempting to get on the manager’s good side so that the punishment for skipping out on work is lighter. Though Theo doesn’t seem like the type to slack off, which is why Nine is sinking in a state of perplexion.

What is he trying to achieve? Realistically, what is there to gain other than (Name)’s approval? They like each and every one of the Reapers, so it’s not like anyone’s on their bad side. He has an eternity to figure it out, though Nine can’t exactly be bothered. If it isn’t hurting anyone, why should he fret over Theo’s behavior? It’s not as though he’s acting out of line. Rather, he’s been quite pleasant. He even offered to assist Nine in moving a few boxes. Nine doesn’t want to hold any suspicions about his colleague, nor does he want paranoia gnawing on his ankles like a puppy.

Without realizing it, he’s been aimlessly walking through the campus as he pieces together fragmented thoughts. His eyes land on the manager, who is alone as they stride towards him. For once, Theo isn’t at their beck and call. Nine thinks of Day and his unwavering loyalty. Perhaps Theo is just as enthused about (Name) as Day is with him. Nine shrugs those comparisons away, opting to focus on his manager.

“Hi, Nine! What’re you doing out here?”

“Taking a small stroll,” he answers. “The weather is perfect for this, and it’s always beneficial to get some exercise.”

“I agree. To be honest, I wanted to clear my head for a bit. I’ve got so much work that it’s beginning to stress me out.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Manager. Would you like any help?”

“I don’t want to bother you.” They wave their hand through the air as if the distress isn’t clear enough. It’s obvious they’ve been pulling all-nighters just to get through paperwork and other tasks. “Would you mind if we walked together?”

Nine considers their offer for a moment. While he would prefer a few more moments to himself, he can’t deny someone as caring as (Name). It’s almost a crime to turn them down, and he has no idea where all of this fondness is suddenly coming from. Regardless, there’s a sneaking sensation that touches his sixth sense. Since when did the flowers have eyes? The wind rustles through the greenery, creating an eerie sound that settles in the courtyard. He’s compelled to retrace his steps and turn down the corridor, but your patient expression chases that idea away.

“I don’t mind.” He falls into step with you, calmly observing the deliberate clicking of your shoes. “Take care not to overwork yourself. The 14th Department depends on your leadership.”

At least a few Reapers are more than dependent, he thinks.

“I’ll be fine as long as I can finish everything on time. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Make sure you’re getting enough rest and eating your meals—“

“I know,” they say, drawing out the syllables. “I appreciate your concern, Nine. It means a lot.”

He nods, a simple gesture that confirms his gratitude. His manager is always thanking and praising the others. Briefly, he wonders if they’ve ever taken time to care for their own well-being rather than the well-beings of the Soul Reapers.

“When all of this is over, I’d love to spend more time with you,” (Name) goes on, a bounce in their step. Nine doesn’t miss the excitement that flashes through their features at the prospect of getting to bond with him. He’d rather be alone, but Nine has found it to be a challenge whenever they’re involved. “Do you think you could teach me to play an instrument? I’ve been meaning to pick something up, but I never seem to have time.”

Well, Nine happens to be skilled with his hands. And hands are required to play most—if not all—instruments. Perhaps you’d like to learn the violin, or maybe you’re interested in the drums. He’ll have to learn as he goes with those, but it’s worth it if it means (Name) will be happy. How odd. Where did all of this compassion come from? Nine knows what instrument they’ll say, as the two of them have sat in the storage room and played it on plenty of occasions. The atmosphere doesn’t change, but the flowers certainly do. As if wanting to blot out a horrid memory, the eyes close and a mouth creases into a tight line. Nothing short of disappointment.

“I was thinking I could be good at the piano if I tried hard enough. What do you think? We can play together, and we can even form a band.”

A band consisting of two people is hardly a band. Handcuffs can only restrict one person. A pair of unseeing eyes are useless, and Nine knows his words must be chosen carefully lest his tongue sit on a rusted tray.

He puts on a thin smile. “Learning an instrument can be just as stressful as work. I wouldn’t want to jeopardize your health.”

“I’ll be fine, but you do make a good point. It might be overwhelming if I try to balance that and missions. One of these days I’ll try to learn.”

Just not now.

And he couldn’t be any more relieved.

------

Nine finds himself in the common room later that evening, reflecting over the events of the day when he encounters the blooming oleander. He’s preoccupied with the book in his hands, which is a collection of stories written by the famous Edgar Allan Poe. He never intended to pick up something so macabre. It happened to be the first thing he grabbed while perusing the shelves. Perhaps he should’ve looked for a poetry book instead. Before he can get up and complete that task, Theo enters his visage, the corners of his lips upturned. It fails to reach his eyes.

“Good evening, Nine. I didn’t expect to find you here. This is a wonderful surprise nonetheless.” He says a greeting that’s reminiscent of Nine’s, which has been tailored ingeniously. Recycled words are only worthwhile if they’re put to positive use, and Theo bleeds venom. He has no reason to speak to Nine. In fact, he’d rather avoid him at all costs, but that won’t work if he intends to poison his fragile mind with every bit of sly kindness he can muster. Theo has learned to be resourceful. A talented baker knows how to improvise, after all. “Oh, I recognize that cover. It’s an anthology of Edgar Allan Poe’s short stories. Which one are you reading?”

Nine glances at the page, picking out notable phrases. He’s at the part where the old man is smothered by his own bedsheets. “‘The Tell-Tale Heart.’”

“That’s grim, isn’t it? Well, all of his stories are, but that one in particular is really morbid.” Theo sits beside him on the sofa, keeping a gap between him and the weed that is Nine. “Wouldn’t it be scary if you woke up to someone trying to kill you? I know I’d be alarmed. But we’ve already experienced death, so maybe it’s not frightening anymore.”

He tries to understand the motive behind Theo’s incessant chatter. The two of them have never really clicked. Small talk isn’t something they can fall into so easily. Nine wants to ask Theo many things, but it’s wrong to suspect someone without any evidence. So he merely nods as he listens to Theo, hoping he’ll take the hint and leave. It’s not as if Nine doesn’t want to talk; he’s just not accustomed to this facet of the Day Reaper. Lo and behold, the question slips out before he can stop himself.

“What would you do?”

“Excuse me?”

“If you were one of the investigators, what would be your reaction to the man?”

“Oh,” Theo states, pursing his lips as if the inquiry requires deep thought. “We know that the narrator is unreliable. He only wants to kill the old man because of his eyes. He gets paranoid when he hears the man’s heartbeat coming from the floorboards, even after he dismembered his body. I’m sure anyone, investigator or not, would think he’s insane.”

“Do you think that?”

Theo bristles at the question, a sour taste coating his tongue. Why is he suddenly being interrogated by Nine? This isn’t an interview, and it certainly isn’t a questionnaire for a criminal. He laughs to cover up the crack in his mask. “Of course I do. No one of sound mind would murder someone defenseless all because of the way their eyes looked. Just saying it out loud like this is madness.”

Nine nods again. Insanity cannot exist without sanity. A heart cannot function without a beat. A parasite cannot live without a host. He’s not sure where this conversation is going. This is far from a cheery book club meeting. Nine searches every inch of his expression, noting the occasional twitch of his mouth and the constriction of his pupils. Yet he can’t detect an ounce of a practiced lie. Could it be that his instincts are misplaced? Is this what Theo has wanted all along: A moment to talk to Nine as friends rather than coworkers? Perhaps he has been incorrect in his judgement.

The book shuts; Nine doesn’t want to read anymore. There’s an unfinished composition waiting for him in his dorm room. Standing up from the couch, he lowers his head in the form of a farewell. He sets the novel on the coffee table so that Theo can indulge in the fictional world of Poe.

“I’m afraid something has come up, so I’ll be leaving now. Please enjoy the remainder of your evening, Mr. Theo.”

“I will.” Theo beams. “Sleep well.”

Nine doesn’t waste a second turning his back on Theo, exiting the common room with graceful movements. As soon as he’s out of sight, the happy grin melts away and is replaced with that of a dark scowl. He’s not a mindless fool. It was obvious that Nine was uncomfortable. He’s just too polite to say anything, and that’s a weakness Theo’s willing to dissect.

So you were reading Poe, hm? he muses to himself, picking up the book and turning it over in his hands. I took you for a poetry guy. How chilling, Nine. Manager wouldn’t like these grotesque tales.

Who is he to determine what they like and dislike? Theo’s watched (Name) for quite some time now, committing their quirky habits to memory. It’s almost comical how they never seem to notice. Nine does, but he’s always been keen, and yet he can never understand the meaning behind his constant staring. That’ll happen when you spend your days alone, keeping yourself entertained with the voice inside your head. Theo wonders if Nine gets lonely with that depressing lifestyle. The two of them are like night and day. Theo’s bright and blinding like the sun. Nine is quiet and calm like the moon. But there isn’t any oxygen on the moon, and the sun can steal a person’s eyesight without feeling any remorse. Two Reapers of complete opposites, rising and setting all the same. A weed and a flower masquerading in a game of cat and mouse.

Oleander grows to towering heights. A stalker’s presence looms as tall as the very flower Theo embodies. He doesn’t care if he’s a leech or a misleading flower. Anything’s better than hemlock and the imposter cake Nine’s baking. Theo’s the baker and the pianist, not Nine. It will never be Nine. He’ll make sure of that. At his very core, Nine is a jawbreaker of many emotions and memories. Theo will fracture every layer until nothing’s left. Until the ground is a mess of colors and stories that unfold before the entire 14th Department. He’ll dig into Nine’s mind with a knife and fork to pull apart stringy recollections of his past life. It’s guaranteed to be a dessert far tastier than a slice of cake.

Poison ivy is easy to identify. As the saying goes, ‘leaves of three, let it be.’ Theo isn’t as obvious as a sickening rash. That’s the difference between ivy and oleander. One kills and the other spreads with red irritation. While he could sit and wallow in bitter annoyance, he’d rather get to memorizing every hateful hex in his spell book. Maybe he can trick Ell into making him a felt doll of Nine. Oh, the thrill of voodoo. Theo’s never performed such dark magic before, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. He’d like to see Nine lose his mind for a change, because eternity knows Theo’s lost his.

The manager deserves only the prettiest of flowers, and oleander has such a gripping, virulent embrace.

#afterl!fe #after l!fe #afterl!fe theo #afterl!fe nine #oneshot #yandere themes #yandere afterl!fe x reader #yandere afterl!fe #yandere theo #afterl!fe x reader #afterl!fe theo x reader #yandere theo x reader #nine x reader #afterl!fe nine x reader #afterl!fe the sacred kaleidoscope

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astro-break · 4 years

Text

Quick first thoughts on the first ep of the Hypmic Anime. Spoilers beware (and im writing this as I watch so :p)

Otome’s speech is.... questionable from a persuasive point of view. Manga did a great job of introducing her (which you can read here) but they really cut out the more terrifying parts of her speech and how she uses force to show people that she's not to be messed with

Its cool seeing everyone in their respective environments though. thats cool. Though they could have added Sasara and Kuuko (shhh i know why they didn’t let me dream)

I love how poppy the typography is. Its amazing how the visuals just leap out at you. The OP does a great job of this. The first few seconds before the title really gives me Persona 4 OG OP vibes with the influx of information given. The rest is a clear concise and streamlined way that still gives character. Animation is sparse but still carries across a general idea of each character and shows off each character object. Rendering is really nice and pays a bit of homage to the posing artwork thats done for the MVs. They also do their division hand signals and thats cute

Love how the OP has blatant HifuDoppo and DRB matchup foreshadowing

so far I really like what theyre going for. BB is about brotherly familial bonds and they show the goods and the bads. Jiro and Saburo bickering right out the gate really cements the fact that they get along like cats and dogs but you can still see that they love each other, working together when the situation calls for it

Now the 3d models. Theyre... not great but usable if you don’t look too hard. They serve their purpose and don’t actively detract from the viewing experience.

Visual typography in the rap itself are fun and poppy but they dont.... speak to me? like theyre there yes and I appreciate them but the only ones that got me excited were from Ichiro’s rap

I take my words back the group portion was kickass and I apologize

I love how they interpret the Hypnosis Speakers though. Esp. Saburo’s organs. That was super creative and I love it! If there was one thing that I felt was missing from the franchise was a deeper exploration of the speakers but the anime puts a new and fresh spin on it! Love it, especially with their attack patterns!

If the production team ever feels inclined to, Id love to see those info sheets on Otome’s desk released. There seems to be very interesting info and stats written out about each member (like capabilities, personal status etc.) They all seem unique too so I really really really hope they release images of those sheets

OOOOOOOOKAY MTC. I have such a big biased for them so Im very torn to see what unfolds

Rio striking out on his own is interesting. Out of everyone in MTC hes the biggest team player yet here he trusts his teammates to go ahead. This either displays Rio’s willingness to trust his teammates or it becomes very OOC if the anime wants to set him up as a lone wolf like character

I love how they specify its a drug deal. It means that Jyuto surely will show up and it also shows that Samatoki knows Jyuto’s motives and willingly gives black market info that he knows aligns with Jyuto’s goal. Thats A+ detail writing there and a great establishing characteristic for both of them

OOohhhhhhhhhhhhh man Asunama-san’s voice acting is god tier his work as Samatoki is phenomenal. He pulls of Samatoki’s threatening voice so well with those almost calm words before his voice becomes loud and confrontational. Those rolling syllables in contrast to Komada-san’s almost lyrical and airy speech and Kamio-san’s strict and enunciated words is such a delight to hear. It just speaks to how amazing and great these Seiyuu’s are in order to pull of such amazing work

Im so biased but MTC has such a better rap than BB im so sorry. Just by watching Samatoki’s part, the imagery is amazing. Even the arrival of his Hypnosis Speaker was awesome and sent a shiver down my spine. using the lyrics to form blades and blood was such a great thing to do. Theres so much more variety that just him standing there and shots of his hypnosis speaker. The old fashioned vignette shots, the four panel spread, the nods to old Kurosawa era films are great and I love these small details. Even the typography looks better.

Again, the interpretations with the speakers is fresh and new. Its great and I love the different imagery and attack patterns. Each one is so unique but carries across each different style of rap.

The 3d modles aren’t any better tho lol

(Hi this is Astro who is reading over their assessment again and making a note. Yeah I’m a bit harsh on BB’s rap. I’m not going to change it since I still stand by it and this post is supposed to be a documentation of my first impressions. I think one of the reasons why I’m so harsh on BB is because of their dynamic as a trio of brothers. They Have to have a more uniform approach than the other divisions. Which in of itself isn’t a terrible thing, it just doesn’t catch my eye as much as MTC did. Thats all! I definitely don’t hate BB, they’re maybe my 3rd favorite division out of the current lineup [not including TDD era teams like Kujaku Posse, MCD, and Naughty Busters] its just that their rap was pretty meh)

Samatoki crouching like a real gangstar and the cigarette kiss killed me

sadjkhfjkasdghsadjkcsdjhsdfsjhf im dying i love these trio of dumbasses so uch oh y fod someone save me aaaaaaaa (Astro note here! yeah i died when the jyuto and samatoki’s stomach growled im weak please. Samatoki’s face is just so precious and funny I might set it as a profile pic somewhere)

But also my initial assessment of Rio possibly being characterized as a lone wolf is very much jossed and im very thankful for that. It seems that Rio was simply trusting his teammates to carry out their part of the plan while he carried out his own. I like that, it really shows how much of a team these three are and that they genuinely trust each other. He’s also comfortable enough around them to invite them to dinners after work casually and not just for special occasions.

I really love MTC guys

Oooh! we get Ramuda on his design process which is really cute. the inside of his studio is super cute and retro and i love it. the poppy old music you would hear in a cafe or 90′s resturaunt is also really cute (astro note: yeah i know that in ARB you see the interior of Ramuda’s office but its kinda different seeing it animated)

the translation i have has gentaro speaking in early modern english (Shakespearian english for those who aren’t english nerds like me) but from what I can hear, he doesn’t speak in a particularly old fashioned way? Its more formal than old? and hes speaking without any of his character persona lying thing that he likes to do (as he refers to himself as “Shousei” throughout the segment where hes in Ramuda’s office which is kind of his default pronoun of choice). so its kinda odd for the translation to go in that direction but im not complaining

Gendice banter is gold but it feels... flat? a little? it doesn’t have the same impact as in the drama cds or in the manga? i feel? Also Ramuda using gratuitous english is??? idk how to feel about that

kjshf thats against the rules Ramuda omgggg,,,,,,,, (astro note again: while watching i was under the assumption that using your hypmic for monetary gain such a as buskering [which is what FP is doing] is against the rules. May not be the case but whatever)

FP’s rap might be my favorite in terms of tune and lyrics though. It’s a nice laid back bop and really gives of chill vibes. the integration of 3d and 2d is really nice and i love how they play off each other in the rap. The wordplay is so fun with little nods here and there and the beat is poppy too so it really energizes me.

Ramuda’s rap concerns me slightly since he makes very subtle and small nods towards his past (being created in a laboratory, warfare, and his overall very unpleasant life experiences) but spins it into something cutesy. It could be a coping mechanism, it could be me overthinking it. But it does make me worry a bit. Gentaro and Dice’s rap really play off each other with Gentaro sticking to stories and Dice taking up the baton by carrying on that same imagery but putting his own spin on it.

the self awareness of how scattered they are as a team is interesting though. It doesn’t seem like something you’d speak about in a rap? but i guess since its not really a do or die situation they can afford to be looser on things like this.

Right off the bat, i don’t like how they handled Hifumi and Doppo in relation to Hifumi’s fear of women. Slug made a post once talking about this and I echo many of his sentiments. Hypmic has never been very tactful about tackling this particular issue and while I didn’t have high hopes that the anime would be any better it hurts to see Doppo take away the one thing that allows Hifumi to function within society.

Doppo’s breakdown mirrors a lot of my own mental state when I spiral though its shown a lot quicker than what happens to me oof. that hits close to home. though Jakurai’s advice is. Questionable. Its not the best advice to give to someone but we have no idea what kind of doctor Jakurai is so ill let it slide

Jakurai’s pose looks like hes going to do a mahou shoujou transformation lmao

I don’t have many thoughts about the rap though again. How they visualize the rap is interesting. the different imagery is quite interesting for each of them and the typography is nice a distinct but im still on the fence about the visuals here

The sound is in the same boat. The sound effects either drown out the rap or are too quet but some parts are nice at least. When they talk about Tokyo’s beating heart, the heartbeat sound is a but distracting especially since its only played once. But the imagery is at least nice

I wonder if for the eds they’re going to take a similar approach to what Enstars did and have a four different endings, one for each division. I love the blend of styles here and it really accentuates that although they’re different they mesh well together.

Ramuda’s silhouette though is hilarious. Love it.

:p and thats it. Uh not bad for a first episode. Established all 12 characters really nicely and their dynamics. I had some problems with it but then again nothing is perfect. I look forward to what they show us next week

#hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypnosis mic rhyme anima #hypnosis mic rythme anima spoilers #hypmic spoilers #my post

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monchikyun · 3 years

Text

XX. blame

Have they really come this far? As he wanders through the endless corridor, this reality seems almost too impossible to be true, yet he feels it with the same clarity as when a glass shard split his nose in two. He tries to run at his full speed, frantically almost, all to reach his new-found soulmate who has suddenly disappeared in a whirlwind of white ash, the same one that has brought him here. But his feet are much too heavy and he uses all the energy he has just lifting them up, slowly as can be.

Everything around him is strangely blurry and unfocused, though he doesn’t even notice, for his head is too preoccupied with its efforts to lose the heat making him imagine various inappropriate scenarios reserved only for two consenting adults, of which one of the two involved parties can classify as neither, technically.

Gavin sweats, breathing growing rapid as he lugs his body towards the brilliant light that gets further away the closer he gets. It doesn’t make any sense, yet he’s only vaguely aware of this since there are more pressing issues to be dealt with. Like the overwhelming need making him push through this nonsense in the first place. He doesn’t think about what he’ll do once he finds Connor, just that his presence will most definitely help, somehow. Maybe the wrongness of it all keeps him from reaching that handsome android, the fact that they haven’t crossed those boundaries on the outside of this distorted world. If only his aching body cared about that at all, he wouldn’t end up in this mess then. Gavin stops his movement, although reluctantly, and sneaks his hand towards the place that’s causing him so much trouble. It’s something that he’s very reluctant to do, here of all places, in a state that knows no boundaries. Anything could happen. Countless variations of absurd events are waiting for him just beyond the veil of consciousness. That alone he could tolerate, survive too, if he’s lucky enough. But there’s one scenario that could very well end him.

He could wake up.

His eyelids twitch like they’re set to separate from the rest of his face, his mind returning back to the warm bed in some inexpensive motel room, and the sudden realisation comes knocking, bringing gifts of fear and anxiety. For several seconds he strives not to acknowledge any of this, but he can sense that this dream has had tragic consequences, ones which have unfortunately transferred into the waking world. Delaying the clean-up will only make matters worse, so he pries his eyes open and scans his immediate surroundings for a sign of his poor friend.

As his sight adjusts to the dim lighting, he feels brave enough to call himself partly fortunate, for the bed appears to be empty - if he doesn’t count his sinful vessel.

He runs his hands down his face, wishing he could just merge with the mattress because this might just be the most humiliating thing that he has lived through… since September, at least. If it were with any other guy he would just laugh and brush it off but when it comes to Connor, everything is just… different. He tries to be extra cautious with the one person he loves as if a single small mistake could sever their fledgling of a bond. It wouldn't, though, or at least he tries to wholeheartedly believe that their link can withstand almost all difficult circumstances and that he’s only overreacting because that’s just how his fucked-up mind works.

He slides his hands away from his damp eyes and finally dares to scope the room in search of his friend, finding out that he’s the only person there. This development should be a blessing when he takes his embarrassing accident into consideration, though it worries him more than anything else. Knowing Connor and his legion of issues, he wouldn’t be surprised if the android has gone out of his way do something stupid. Especially after their little heart-to-heart of last night. His partner didn’t look so hot back then,... though only mentally, of course. Still, he chooses to implement all of the trust he holds for the person and opts to first tackle the predicament he’s been put in.

He handles said issue with a record speed, thanks to the many years of practice he’s managed to gather. The last step is to change out of his sleeping clothes into something more appropriate, and when he finally gets to it and opens the wardrobe, he comes upon the hideous sweater that Connor threw at him a couple of days ago. He picks it up with a simulated contempt, briefly pondering whether he’ll ever be willing to put on such atrocity. To him, such a possibility is quite unlikely, though he doesn’t ever see himself discarding it. This ugly piece of garment is more valuable than anything within the endless black hole which is his closet. Maybe that’s why he can’t force himself to wear it, for fear of ruining it. Yes, that’s must be it.

Shaking his head in disbelief of his ridiculous thinking patterns, he chuckles and chucks the sweater on the now clean bed.

After he dons his jacket, the dread starts creeping in, faster than he’d prefer. He hasn’t had any clue of what he’s doing ever since he’s woken up from his strange dream this morning. Actually, it’s been like this for far longer. It seems like this December ushered in some kind of courage that has served as their willing matchmaker.

He sighs and opens the front door, immediately regretting this decision. The cold wind assails him right as he takes his first step outside, but he’s too busy warding off the onslaught of snowflakes for his head to even register it properly. Maybe he should have just called Connor instead of venturing outside like the idiot he is. A few curses form on his tongue before he sets to walk away from the building.

Something stops him in his tracks before he even has the chance to adapt to the current unfriendly environment, startling him out of his determination to brave the adjoining highway.

His brain tells him that the sound coming in through his ears is a voice most familiar, information that supplies him with instant relief.

When he turns his head towards the wall, his heart melts at the sight of a puppy-eyed android standing stiff, lips forming the slightest of smiles. He's covered from head to toe in snow since the small roof above them can't shield anyone from the unyielding blizzard.

“What the phck are you doing here.”

Gavin’s reaction is in direct dissonance with what’s going on inside of him. Frankly, he’s expected nothing less of himself. All he longs to do is to rid Connor of the unnecessary snowflake layer and warm him up. It makes him shiver just looking at the android-like ice statue. Maybe his partner can't feel cold, but Gavin, being a mere human, certainly can.

He doesn't give Connor a space to answer, tugging him inside the moment he snaps out of the initial shock of realising he won't have to go all panic mode searching for the unpredictable tin can in this raw weather.

“I thought you’d appreciate some privacy, so I went ahead and gave you space to… sort yourself out.”

Gavin feels himself combust and wishes the flames would turn him into ash. Much more preferable outcome than having to confront his subconscious bodily reactions and their inevitable effect on his bed-mate.

He squeezes his eyes shut, the last attempt to escape this uncomfortable situation or at least to postpone whatever is coming his way, ready to make him question his entire existence, he’s sure. It usually tends to go in that direction. Dealing with personal failures in a healthy manner is a skill he’s lacking, which in itself is just another of his shortcomings. His mind really does dislike him.

“Sorry for that,” he mumbles, not facing the person to whom the apology belongs. He still has trouble putting his stupid flushed mug on display for anyone to see, but maybe he’s willing to grant an exception. There are many things he wouldn’t do for Connor, but showing him his true face, no matter how compromised, doesn’t have to be one of them.

“I figured you’d be blaming yourself for it,” Connor says, not a speck of disdain in his voice. No pity or exasperation to be heard anywhere.

So he turns to stand in front of him, trying hard to pretend that this doesn’t dismay him.

“It’s a natural reaction caused by the close proximity of-”

“You don’t have to give me a presentation on how the human body works, I am very familiar with this subject.” He couldn’t help but cut him off, since the words were physically grating his skin. What a fucking joke this is. When he at long last thought that things are going to be fine, when he accepted that there’s not a better sensation than being held by a loved one, his thirsty mind had to go ahead and ruin everything. Connor won’t most likely want to sleep with him after this, a premise that stabbed him right in his aching chest.

“I just wanted to tell you that I don’t mind. It’s only that I didn’t know how you’d react so I chose to leave instead of finding out. I should be the one to feel guilty.”

“As if you don’t have enough guilt on your plate already.”

Gavin dreads that this conversation will become a sex talk, something he wouldn’t be able to bear at the moment. It’s too soon. They haven’t even had a proper kiss yet, a fact that might just be one of the reasons for his intense dream.

That doesn’t mean he plans to rush things, the pace they’ve set for themselves is surprisingly enjoyable. He’s never experienced something so cautious and yet intimate, and he doesn’t want to be the one to destroy it.

Connor looks at him with eyes that betray just how tired he is of being reminded of the thing for which he blames himself so much. Some pleasant distraction seems to be in order. He waits for him to turn around and walk further in, a perfect opening for a surprise attack.

Gavin snakes his arms around the android’s waist, successfully halting his movement. Chest pressed to his back, he senses the outside chill that is still clinging to his body. Not for much longer, though. As he places his head on Connor’s shoulder two icy hands cover his own ones, and so he can finally share the heat that has been raging inside of him this whole time. Finally a suitable outlet,... of sorts. The problem is that the longer they touch the stronger burns the fire.

After a minute or two of serving as a human heater, Connor sets himself free of his grasp and situates himself in front of him, taking his crimson cheeks in his now warmed-up hands. Gavin only just catches his tiny smile before he closes his eyes, getting himself ready for what might come next.

“Gavin,” Connor whispers, which causes his heart to beat furiously like it’s trying to intimidate him into running away from this encounter. He doesn’t listen, though, too busy melting in the heavenly inferno that rages inside.

“Go pack your things while I’ll clean the rest of the room.”

A small peck on the forehead later, he’s left standing paralysed while the android’s already gone ahead to make the beds. He fiercely tries to cool himself down, feeling the tips of his ears still scorching, skin flushed red from the fruitless expectations.

In all this discomposure of his, he forgot that today is their last day here. They have to leave and resume their day-to-day lives. But who says that they must go back their separate routes when all they really need is a caring family. He’s already invited Connor into his home, so now all they must do is to go through with it. It should scare him, the concept of giving so much of himself to another person, but no matter how much he dwells on it, the worry never appears. Perhaps the excitement has overshadowed all the bad and he can’t bring himself to think that it can still be lurking in a dark corner.

Either way, he doesn’t care, since his mind is too busy admiring the view in front of him.

He’s okay. This is okay. He’ll just smear some snow on the affected areas and his body will be fresh and ready to go. At least for a while.

#aconvinnewyear #low-temperature burn #yeah I don't know either #paring up an asexual person with a thirsty bitch is not always easy ok #enjoy and sorry #CONVIN #the tags don't work again aaaaaaaaaaa

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fitztrevelyan · 3 years

Text

@savagedottir continued from X

“ You were simply in the crossfires as I was attempting to destroy the last of the demons.” Lark said nonchalantly as she picked up her cracked staff, and frowned. It would need to be prepared before the next mission.

A gloved hand dusted off any dust or debris from her elaborate bodice and overcoat--the patterns were positively Orlesian with elegant swirls against the plum color of the fabric and intimated the growth of dark vines, while her bodice was made of tawny leather and silver buckles. She gently ran a hand through her dark waves of chocolate brown hair as she cast a glance towards her cousin--stranger.

“ I did not need your help, you know.” Lark replied. “ I was merely closing the rift and you had no reason to get involved. That is why you were nearly killed in the heat of battle.” she said with a matter of fact tone, her hands coming to rest in front of her as she held and authoritative pose.

“ Why are you here?” she asked in soft demand, her sapphire colored hues falling upon her cousin with a cold fury behind them masked with politeness. It was bad enough her relatives were using her name to gain status within their courtly circles, but to have one outright interfere with her work. That would not be tolerated.

With little ceremony, Mistral spat to the side to remove the dust from her tongue, hand wiping the dirt off her face.

"That your excuse? Do you use it often? I am sorry commander but that unit stood in my way? I am amazed you still have an army."

History was always a matter of points of view. On one side Lark, the champion of Andraste, the chosen one who blessed the crowds with her miraculous deeds and pretty shoes. On the other Mistral, the bastard who believed in nothing but her daggers and her survival instinct.

Both had their own version of the truth and they were, in fact, both correct. Simply, Lark hadn't noticed a demon attacking her from behind as much as she couldn't have noticed Mistral putting herself between the demon and her.

No one could have guessed the irritation building into Mistral's chest at her half-cousin condescending tone. Too many years spent in Lady Celandine's study, learning how to conceal her emotions. Despite the filth of the battle had left its sign, her composure demanded respect as if the noble blood that she so much hated could not help but show. She stepped closer, tutting at the other woman like a teacher who gently scolded her student about their poor manners.

"No, no, no, no, my dear. What you mean is thank you for saving my bony ass from that crap", said calmly Mistral pointing at the remains of the demon, "I didn't even see it coming!”

“That is what happened while you were closing the rift and I was nearly killed in the heat of battle," she mocked echoing her tone.

"Look. I understand you have a flair for drama but, you see, unfortunately for you, no one’s here to enjoy the scene, except me. So let's cut the crap, shall we? You don't like me, I don't like you," she conceded with axiomatic confidence.

"I can live with that. I don’t need you to cuddle me, I don't need you to be my best friend, let alone my cousin. I'd be perfectly fine never again hearing the name Trevelyan for the rest of my life. They've meant nothing to me but misery and misfortune and I've happily spent the last fifteen years without them, so believe me when I say the less we deal with each other the better," and here Mistral took one more step toward Lark, their faces dangerously close as her voice was barely over a whisper, "but if you think you can make me look like I am incompetent, I don't give a flying fuck if you are the chosen of Andraste, next time I am gonna kick the shit out of you."

She turned back slowly allowing her eyes to lock a little longer with Lark's.

"I am here because your spymaster told me to. Ain't you supposed to know such things? After all, you are the mighty Inquisitor."

#savagedottir #Verse||Inquisition

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asa-kai · 3 years

Text

Ref. to Chapter 177

Faint chirps of sparrows blending with the soft blow of air from the sea. All of that is crystal clear for Saionji Ukyo the former Sonar man from the Kingdom of Science.

It was almost like yesterday, when they were still sailing on the big blue beneath the widespread sky along with seagulls and now they are making their way to their next destination-South America.

After a long day of riding their motorbikes the crew made a stop to eat and rest. Thanks to Senku's customized motorbikes they can quickly outrun Stanley and his team.

Although they made it that far, the fact they're being pursued can't settle in Ukyo's mind.

Looking around finding a high place to spend the night he found a huge boulder high enough for anyone to bother climbing but just the right one for him to reach the top.

This little climbing is nothing compared to his past special forces training, he proudly recall. It would be nice though if he can find a tree on the dessert just like that back on the days when he's still working for the Tsukasa's Empire. Where he will watch Tsukasa break human statues in front of him....

Shaking off the bad memories, he perched on the top absorbing the nostalgia of the night.

"Finally a relaxing silence" he thought to himself.

Or he thought so......

The minimal noises from the campfire can't escape his sensitive ears. The laughter and the conversations are still loud enough for him to be heard.

"It can't be helped, if only I can shut them like my eyes." Ukyo pouted gazing above the night sky again.

He kept wondering if they could defeat Stanley or reach their destination safely or if they could even survive anything that could happen tonight.

He was so disturbed of the thought of what he's going to do if Senku can't fufill his promise that nobody dies. Calming his nerves and clearing his thoughts he starts to close his tired eyes.

Just then he heard footsteps below coming toward the boulder his perching on and base on the weight,speed and pattern of the footsteps it matches someone from the battle team.

"Kohaku?" Ukyo mumbled without realizing saying it out loud.

The huntress' vigilant eyes suddenly looked up to the perching archer.

"What are you doing up there?"

Before the young man can say a word he was surprised to see Kohaku sitting next to him enough for sending him to jolt.

She's really fast. The boulder must be really just a pebble to her

Despite the archer's obvious reaction the huntress seems to be deep into thoughts. She tilt her head up to sky and smile wistfully. Forgetting what just happened the man beside decided to join his new company's little stargazing.

The breeze is faint yet cool, chilling their skin but making one smile lightly.

Kohaku turned her head into the campfire's direction and stared back to the sky. Noticing that she's been doing it five times from now,Ukyo getting concerned finally asked the restless lady.

"Um...You've been looking back five times already...what seems to be the matter?"

" Oh sorry....did I bothered you?"Kohaku replied flustered.

" No not at all but I just get a little concrened." He sheepishly smiled.

The crescent moon dimly radiates light on landscape around them. Its almost vague but Ukyo can absolutely tell that Kohaku just smiled again. A meaningful yet gloom smile at that, as she turn around again back to the usual place under her observation.

"So...are you looking at Senku?" Ukyo forcedly scoffed.

Kohaku darted her eyes at the resident archer with a fearful look. However the pink blush on her face gave away the answer.

"Ukyo don't tell me...."

Her voice alone is already eerie when shes talking like that, no wonder they call her beastly names. But right now Ukyo fears that she'll blow, he can't break his good impression he left on Kohaku.

No one would want to ruin her trust

....."you can hear other people's thoughts?!"

Ukyo let out a loud laugh that Kohaku have never heard coming from him. Since he is usually silent the huntress was left jaw dropped.

"Sorry, I just thought it was absurd but its obvious that your looking at our crafty scientist."

Looking at Kohaku's blank face he continued.

"Observance is everything Kohaku you know that right? First of all Hyoga and Tsukasa is present on the campfire so you will have no reason to be worry of a sudden attack. Second you just finished putting Suika to sleep so you came up here to unwind, clearly enough to conclude that your confident that the crew is safe"

" But Ukyo how did you know I was looking at Senku?" Kohaku questioned poking her chin.

Ukyo took off his hat and start tossing it and then he answered.

" Well you know....I spend my free time observing both nature and people and through all that there's not a time I will not hear a talk about you two especially from Ginro..."

" Ginro....that scum..."

" Its not his fault though since his trying his best to lower his voice, I just happen to still hear it anyway." He concluded wearing his makeshift hat again.

"Oh having such great ears an advantage yes?" Kohaku sarcastically grinned.

" Its not that great" Ukyo defended, besides you two usually hang out together-just the two of you." Realizing he had said to much Ukyo turn to Kohaku to see her reaction.

" Oh so your a stalker now huh?" Kohaku even grinned wider and there is literally like a black smoke surrounding her right now.

Ukyo gulped down with two beads of sweat on his face, but what he expects on what the huntress is going to do is turned down though.

Kohaku hug her knees and hide her face.

"Who am I to be offended by you...Im the same too. I will sometimes shortly glance at Senku when he's not aware and I don't know why. I constantly worry about him as an ally and friend but I think its getting out of hand and becoming a habit."

Although Kohaku is not showing a bit of faze on her tone but he can tell that she's worried and troubled for some reason.

"At least you can just close your eyes and never look again." Ukyo pointed out.

" That's the problem I can't turn away my eyes on him nor I can shut them. Not when there's another girl beside him" Kohaku's voice cracked at the last words she said.

Ukyo just came to a realization how wonderous yet coincedental life can be sometime

Moments ago he's worrying about the well-being of his friends who are safe sound but his companion is worrying about her problem on worrying too much about Senku than the given normal.

Him worrying about the things that are still not happening.

Her worrying about a small thing but tormenting her right now

However he can relate on Kohaku's envy on her advantageous sense of sight.

"Our so called gifts can be such a nuisance huh? But maybe you can still use their trouble you know?"

Kohaku is now a friend and an ally to him and he will gladly help her if she need it.

It is the first time he'll personally offer help to the mighty huntress. Given Kohaku's physique its almost though she will need no help but ironically right now she's carrying which sometging which is to say in the old world a common problem but even she the mighty Kohaku can't handle it on her own. Theres no human who haven't experienced jealousy not even once.

Kohaku hanging on what he just said paid her attention closely to the archer as if like desperate child looking for answers.

Ukyo can't even conclude if she's solely worrying about Senku's well-being or if its something more than that and it looks like Kohaku is doubting herself as well.

Ukyo took a deep breath hoping what he's going to say will help.

"Like I said Kohaku, observation is everything."

The huntress gets even more attentive at this point. Confirming the words in his head Ukyo continues.

"The truth is I'm also envious of my sensitive hearing, sometimes I will hear things Im not suppose to hear but you know what really helps? Ukyo paused giving a warm smile.

Yes what Kohaku needs right now is emphathy even though his knowledge in psychology is inferior that of Gen but it is one of the common and genuine way to help out anyone.

..."I just let it."

Kohaku slightly flinch and her eyes widened.

"Forcing yourself to hold it in even when your about to throw up just makes matters worse right? I should know, my first day at the submarine makes me really sick that I want to pull my gut out."

Yes your'e not alone

...

" Uh sorry about the gruesome illustration."

"No its only normal." Kohaku brushed off.

That's Senku's lioness for you

"I knew Im not the only one... But what I fear if I get attach to him and letting go will be more difficult." Kohaku lamented.

The issue is now clear. She's just blaming it all to her eyes but the real deal is her feelings.

She's growing alright and it is unavoidable for anyone to feel that way.

Like Ukyo can see Senku and Kohaku had been literally went through blades and stones and their mutual trust makes them good friends but somehow its likly that one might start to look at the other differently.

The pair were silent for a while. Letting the evening aura take over making light sounds of air passing through stones.

Ukyo rest his head against his arms for a second trying to get answers for Kohaku's problem.

Though.....

Is he even fit for solving her problem,maybe it would be better if Gen will tell her....no does he even need to solve it?

"Sorry if I bother you Ukyo, I get too emotional sometimes." Kohaku stand up and started to brush off the dirt from her navy blue dress and just as she's about to wave goodnight, she sensed a sudden spark beside her. Right there, Ukyo made a little fire from using his bows and with a dozen of small sticks he gathered.

"The answer depends on your resolve Kohaku...you can either choose to look at him forever or shut your eyes, whatever works best for you all I can do is give you my advice. I don't have the authority to tell you what to do...... But right now why don't you let your senses take you somewhere else. It's getting cold you know." Ukyo hummed while putting more ignition on the fire.

Kohaku was drawn to the relaxing warmth of the newly made campfire a little smaller than that with the rest of the crew. Without knowing it she's starting to forget on what she's chafing about, a moment ago.

Unexpectedly an east wind blew caugthing the duo off-guard letting Kohaku's hair went loose and almost taking Ukyo's hat away. Without warning a stronger wind came and blew their makeshift campfire away, getting dark again so suddenly made Kohaku laugh akin to Ukyo who's groaning over the blown campfire.

"Well, some things don't always look and stay as they seem, one minute ago we have the fire I thought will hold yet now its already gone."Ukyo chuckled though attempting to make the fire again.

"That makes sense....everything change eventually, up to the point where a problem is no more." Kohaku softly stated coming up to her realization.

Ukyo smiled he was relieved that Kohaku finally get what he means.

"Well Im glad the lesson Im implying reached you."The archer exclaimed.

" Life goes on Kohaku"

Kohaku nod and smile in agreement.

"Yeah...I also learned you should never build a small fire on a high windy place". She jokingly concluded.

"Come on I know that....."Ukyo sheepishly laughed.

The night even grew darker but the stars and the moon appears to grew even brighter. The pair enjoyed the diamond ornamented void as the evening hyms envelops around them.

"Listen Kohaku" Ukyo whispered.

"This might be just one of my ideals but I always believe that life has many angles that each one can see and discover that's why I don't like anyone to die because they won't be able to enjoy it if they're dead... So Im convincing you to look at the other angles too Kohaku."

The huntress eyes were opened a hint of sparkles will be found in her eyes and a warm smile on her face being moved of what just her trustworthy comrade said. Although it's still not clear in her mind what he is saying. But whatever it is she will someday understand just like what he said life goes on.

" I'll gladly take the advice,I will surely enjoy, look forward to it."

-end

Obviously this is my first fanfic... Just to be frank I got tired reading the romance genre so I made something platonic and between- friends -kind -of- a -thing fanfic between low-key duo in dr. Stone. (Yes you just read it)

Speaking of low-key I'm also making fanfic for other underrated dcst (so called canon couples)

#dr. stone #ukyo saionji #kohaku #manga spoilers #fanfiction

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inexplicably-spookified · 4 years

Photo

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

so this is basically an AU where misery and curly swap places (and species) - everything else is still the same in that curly was responsible for creating the demon crown, quote & misery were partners, the doctor’s trying to take over the world with angry rabbits, etc etc!

buckle up kiddos, there’s a Wall Of Text™ ahead!

first off: curly!

- her motivations for making the crown were similar to what i think misery’s were - power, mostly, but in this case it was for ‘selfless’ purposes, she wanted to be able to protect the island and its inhabitants in case something bad happened (ie. humans invading), so she’s less angry and just really depressed about what she’s being forced to do. - she gets along much better with balrog because she doesn’t treat him like a punching bag, he’s more of a shoulder to cry on when it gets too much (both figuratively and literally) - her magic is more like a traditional bullet hell, bursts of low-damage patterned bullets similar to the machine gun that quickly overwhelm her targets, she’s at a disadvantage in one-on-one duels but can disperse a crowd incredibly easily - tries very hard to keep up a cheerful appearance, and is outwardly apologetic to those she’s affected

misery:

- still a soldier robot with amnesia, she knows about the war and what the soldiers - and humans, more importantly - did, and is Very Angry about it - lives by herself in Sand Zone (she gave the colons to jenka after finding them), attacking anyone who comes near - literally just full of rage - furious at humans for what they did, and hates robots including herself for being built to mindlessly cause death and destruction, would punch her creators if she ever found them - wields the nemesis the whole game because Lightning - was once quote’s partner, after regaining her memories she refuses the role, believing she doesn’t deserve it for the way she treated him and just trust issues in general, but post-game they still remain relatively close

general shit:

- the sand zone encounter is different in that quote doesn’t fight her - he tries, but she’s very aggressive and doesn’t have the colons to worry about - he eventually convinces her he’s not a threat, he’s a ‘good’ robot, and is trying to stop this bad guy by burning the red flowers, so she lets him pass and he continues on (also instead of finding the puppies for jenka he has to find the colons) - this also means that, similar to the fourth ending mod, when curly shows up at misery’s place looking for the mimiga, misery doesn’t get badly injured - there’s a ‘fight’, but it’s over pretty quickly - curly just gives up on trying to reason with this angry robot, manages to catch her off-guard and send her to the labyrinth because she won’t stop shooting at her, and it’s very inconvenient - by the time quote gets to the labyrinth she’s also there, hanging out in the camp because she can’t get past the boulder - they agree to team up, escape, and stop the doctor (quote because of his Player Character™ status/whatever motivation he has in canon, misery because she just doesn’t want the war to happen again and is incredibly pissed off that humans are fucking up the goddamn island AGAIN) - in the chamber, balrog helps move the boulder because misery scares him into doing it - misery ends up giving quote her air tank like in canon, but it’s 100% out of spite - she gets badly injured during the core fight and wants to make sure that at least someone is going to go and beat the doctor up - by the time she’s revived, lost in the waterway and given the mushroom, she’s still Full Of Rage but a little more friendly - even if she’s confused as to why quote helped her - he didn’t have his memories, he couldn’t have known they were partners, she wasn’t nice to him at all, she doesn’t deserve to be saved - and is just unable to comprehend that maybe he just didn’t want to leave her to rust in a watery grave regardless of her (somewhat justified) anger at Everything - she decides, despite everything, to finish the mission with quote, and accompanies him up to the balcony - curly throws the bossfight because a) there’s two very armed very angry robots and b) they’re here to kill the doctor which is something she agrees very strongly on, so she lets herself get hit on purpose - ‘oh no... this gaping wound in my shoulder... you two have bested me..... the doctor is just up ahead take the stairs you can’t miss him’ - she catches up with the two just as they reach the undead core, because she wants to return sue to her family but isn’t sure where they are, and of course the red crystal shenanigans happen - however! post-crystal shenanigans, she doesn’t disappear, and despite being in a very bad state both physically and mentally, she directs the others to the exit - they actually have to convince her to at least leave the tower, she ends up agreeing to get sue somewhere safe where she can try and contact her family - sue is not thrilled but a bit too out of it to argue - hell happens, the curse is broken, ballos is defeated, misery and quote are rescued by balrog - they return to the island because misery doesn’t want to leave it, she’s quite happy being a grumpy little shit in her nice sandy corner of the world - balrog and quote go find the sakamotos and live with them! momorin just rolls with the fact that her family now contains an actual dragon, an easily excitable toaster-soap-lunchbox thing, and an ex-soldier robot - curly and misery end up hanging out together on the island because curly gets lonely and thinks misery needs a friend (which she does but she won’t admit it) - i’m sure you can all guess where this is going thank you don’t forget to like and subscribe

#cave story #curly brace #misery #misery (cave story)#scribblins #not to be gay on main but i think witch curly is Very Good #aaaaa feel free to send in asks or something about this i wanna talk about it #i apologise again for the wall of text #swap AU

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erikthedead · 3 years

Text

entry #1

I have finally acquired Microsoft Word! I really didn’t want to pay a monthly subscription for it, but it is the best writing software out there. Every time I mention myself spending money, a small prayer goes out to all the tax-paying members of the nation, since all my money comes from Universal Credit, which is the United Kingdom’s cute name for a type of welfare money. I much prefer just calling it ‘welfare,’ or even better ‘NEETbux,’ which I discovered used in online forums as a word for the money people receive when they are not in education, employment, or training (N.E.E.T), which has been my status for about two years now. Then ‘bux’ is just ‘bucks,’ obviously. Bucks is just money, obviously. Many people receiving Universal Credit also work as well; they just receive less - enough to supplement their wages if they aren’t getting enough money from their jobs.

My last job was working in a busy restaurant for just about a year. Before that I was in university, but I dropped out after only completing the first year out of three. Before that, I worked as a carer for elderly people for just under a year. Before that, I was in college for two years, and I actually passed the course. I only passed it because the subject was forensic science, which included lots of writing about psychology, criminology and lab reports. I was never that good in the lab practically. I got flustered and bewildered in such a bright, sanitary environment that required precision and organisation to achieve the desired results. When it came to scrambling together a report to submit the next day though, I was pretty golden. I only dropped out of university because I had a mental break down as a result of poor mental health and just the fact that going outside and interacting with people was and still is incredibly exhausting for me. After a year of doing that consistently it seems, I get fatigued. In the end I got an average grade for the college course because some of the work was difficult, or boring, and that fatigue was hitting me by the second year. However, the grades I was getting on my university assignments for psychology and sociology were anywhere between top marks and good marks (Between 1st – 2:2 in UK student language). I never once read the feedback from the tutors who marked my work. All I needed to know was the mark was okay and moved on to the next assignment, firstly because I was arrogant and secondly, I couldn’t handle criticism. The mental break down itself involved me walking through the campus one day only to find myself slipping into a dissociative state. Nothing had happened immediately prior to trigger this, it just happened. It felt strange, like I wasn’t really real, and neither was anyone else. Everything felt distant and off, both externally and internally. It was frightening and strangely peaceful, as if at any moment someone could come in and blow the building up and I wouldn’t even react to it. That wasn’t normal. The only way to snap out of it was to lock myself in a toilet cubicle and lightly slice my arm with a tiny knife I had on my keys. It worked, but now I was in floods of tears and a state of distress, so I went to the student welfare services to see if they could help me or at least let me sit somewhere nicer than a toilet while I calmed down. It was an open office waiting area at the side of the bottom floor of a building that matched the layout of a prison ward with the stairs and the upper floors creating a square boarder of classrooms, that would have been cells for a prison. More for practical purposes than for aesthetic reasons, I’m sure. Still sobbing, and hiding my self-inflicted cuts, I asked the person behind the desk if I could ‘see someone,’ which is one polite British way of asking for help. After waiting a little while, a plump middle-aged lady appeared and brought me into her own little private office to ask me what had happened. She gave me her sympathy and asked me about my life and my history, and gave me some more sympathy, while relating her own experiences to mine. She was a good counsellor, basically. But having a good counsellor on site wasn’t enough to keep me on the course after that incident. Getting a degree just wasn’t worth it at the time. Being such a depressed and pessimistic person, I was only actually doing the course for ‘fun’ anyway, not for the hope that it will bring me a better future. Until recently, I never saw a future for myself. It wasn’t even a bleak future I imagined; it was just blank. I couldn’t even conceptualise it.

It’s not a mystery where all my misery came from. My childhood was a bit inconsistent to start, and from what I’ve observed, children need consistency more than anything to develop promisingly. I remember reading a study once that found children raised by parents who were consistently abusive to them were in fact more mentally stable than those raised by parents who could be lovely one day and nasty the next. It was not knowing what treatment they were going to get that did them in. It makes sense because if you’re always expecting to face a thrashing or a shouting at every day, you can at least prepare for it and train yourself to deal with it. We’re very adaptable creatures, but we need to be able to recognise patterns around us to do that. If there is no pattern, then how can we possibly make predictions? Without predictions, how can we possibly feel secure about our future? Having said all that, I was never abused in any way growing up, but I was sometimes neglected by my young mother, who was only 16 when she gave birth to me. Of course, it’s understandable now, but from a child’s perspective all you think is ‘why doesn’t my mum want me?’ When she sends you to your room for no reason and tells you not to come down for hours at a time. I asked ‘why’ a lot. Never got a good reason. I’m sure plenty of people who were raised by a drug-addicted parent can relate to this. She herself was a good mother, not amazing, but good. She told me she loved plenty of times, she gave me what she could, including a little sister when I was three years old. I think it was shortly after her birth that mum started taking heroin. It was only during drug education in year five of school (I would have been about 11) that I put the pieces together. She hid her addiction pretty well from us, but I sometimes found pieces of tin foil lying around the living room with lines of black residue on them, and once or twice witnessed her junkie friends ‘nodding off.’ There’s also a clear memory in my mind of being taken along by her and my nan to score some brown out of town and I can picture in my head the massive set of old-fashioned scales this drug dealer had sat on his coffee table right in front of me. I was too young to understand any of their lingo, though. Yes, I mentioned my nan, my mum’s mum. They got smacked up together, and they eventually got clean together. I’ll never know the details of how that came about because neither of them are alive anymore to ask. Mum died when I was 14 by taking an overdose of her methadone, then nan died when was 21 of a heart attack, likely due to the COPD she had developed from years of smoking.

My nan was so full of love for my mum, my sister and me. Some of my favourite childhood memories are being snuggled up in bed listening to her read me stories, which she did with flare and enthusiasm. She would affectionately call us her ‘wobblies,’ and give us more hugs kisses than we ever wanted. My mum definitely inherited her loving nature from her. But love on its own isn’t enough to keep kids clothed and fed and able to go out and do things. This is where the legend that is my grandad comes in. He is still going strong at 66 years old as of writing. God knows where I’d be without him. He’s been my father figure all my life since I never knew who or where my real dad was. He’s hard-working, reliable, responsible and strong. He supported us immensely despite not relating to him biologically. My biological grandfather was a free-spirited busker who liked to smoke and drink a lot, who I only met a hand full of times before he hanged himself when I was 19. His death did not affect me, but my mum’s and nan’s certainly did. I’ll probably have to see my grandad die as well eventually, and I don’t dread anything more.

Although I started off describing my family background by saying it’s obvious where my source of misery comes from, I must emphasise that my family is not the source of my misery. My childhood overall was pretty forgettable. I only have a few memories and they’re fond memories, despite the unfortunate situation I just described. Even getting my face ripped open by the neighbour’s dog when I was six didn’t faze me. It was only when puberty hit me that life started to feel horrible, and it just got worse.

I was an early bloomer, if blooming is what you call it. I call it mutating. I started getting hairy and growing tits when I was 10, and got my period about a year later. Now THAT is a traumatic memory. Waking up and going for a morning wee as usual, sitting down on the toilet and being overcome with horror at the sight of blood covering my pyjamas, realising there’s only one place that could have come from, then investigating the source only to confirm ‘Oh shit, I’m bleeding from between my legs!’ I was living with my nan and grandad at the time and I stayed there (or here, since I’m still living in the same house as of writing) under their guardianship while mum sorted herself out. After the shocking discovery of blood, I immediately ran into nan’s bedroom to wake her up. I vividly remember what and how she responded to me. With a sigh of what seemed like unsettling disappointment she said “Oh, darling, I’m sorry, I’m afraid you’ve got your period.’ I wonder now if she said it like that because she felt guilty for not warning me about this, as she should have. Someone should have. In all fairness I was young, but the other kids in my year at school were soon popping into adolescence alongside me, so I thought that soon enough everyone else would be going through what I was going through, but that wasn’t the case. I was bullied for having chronic acne. I was also a bit of a chubby boffin, but it was mostly the acne that people targeted me for. The girls shaved their legs once they started to get hairy, and I remember thinking ‘Damn, I suppose I’ve got to do that too,’ despite never wearing a skirt. They also seemed to relish in showing off and comparing their bras in the changing rooms, while I hid away as very best as I could. Make-up was a constant battle between students and teachers because they all wanted to look pretty, but it wasn’t allowed in middle school (Year 5-8), so luckily, I had an excuse for not wearing it. I’d regularly complain to my family about hating going to school, and how depressed I was, but it was all put down to teenage blues. ‘You’ll be alright once your hormones settle down,’ I was told more than once. I remember my nan telling me I would miss going to school when I was older and so far she’s been proven wrong.

#life #life 1 #ramblings #transgender #diary

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soler97 · 3 years

Text

The Age of Unreason

Men want certainty, not truth.

- possibly from Bertrand Russell

A thoughtful friend asked me what 2020 will be remembered for, apart from the obvious, ie Covid and Trump losing. I could not think of anything.

My friend suggested it is the realisation that in the 21st century millions of people are turning away from science and reality towards a variety of beliefs that border on the crazy. Examples are QAnon, flat earthers (yes, they are serious), deniers of Covid, about 40% of Americans believe the Rapture is coming, biblical fundamentalism, climate change denial, neo-Nazis, Holocaust denial, belief in Trump as a saviour, doomsday predictions, sundry cults, alien abductions, New Age beliefs, and a multitude of conspiracy theories, such as that the moon landings were a hoax, or that 9/11 was an inside job.

Some of these beliefs appear harmless, but occasionally, they inspire horrific violence, such as the killing of 920 people by the Jim Jones cult, the sarin attack in Japan, the Breivik massacre, the Oklahoma bombing, the Waco siege, the Christchurch massacre, and the Heaven's Gate suicides.

It is difficult to generalise about the various strange beliefs that people hold, as these include conspiracy theories, varieties of denial, religious fantasies, extremist political or racist views, and beliefs like the flat earth, that elude classification. There is no common thread underlying this spectrum of beliefs. Rather, they can be characterised by what they reject, which in a nutshell, is rationality.

Rationality can be defined as the desire to be guided by reason, which we apply to the available evidence. The third ingredient is the willingness to admit we are wrong. So turning away from rationality means letting emotion or emotionally-based belief take precedence over reason, an unwillingness to look at factual evidence, plus a dogmatic belief that one is in possession of the ultimate truth. Many irrational beliefs run counter to Occam's Razor, which tells us to prefer the simplest explanation that covers the known facts. Complex processes may require elaborate or involved explanations, but the point is not to introduce unnecessary factors, especially ones of a fanciful nature.

Clearly, there are too many irrational beliefs to do them justice, so let us look at flat earthers, Heaven's Gate and QAnon to see whether there is a pattern.

A Flat Earth

Flat earth map with the Antarctic ice wall at the perimeter

A bizarre example is the contemporary belief that the earth is flat. Is such a belief even possible in the 21st century? It may be feasible to construct a world view that makes a flat earth plausible. However, it requires factors such as a massive world-wide conspiracy to hide the truth, the abandoning of all of modern cosmology and much of physics, as well as weird ad-hoc explanations for why planes fly in circles around a flat disc, rather than around a spherical globe. Also, that ships at sea disappear below the horizon requires adjustment to the laws of optics. If that still does not cover all the facts countering a flat view, then one could invoke mind control by Martians, or something of the sort. The point is that if one wants to conjure up fantastical reasons to invalidate what we know of reality then it is always possible to do so.

It seems to me that the flat earth people are not interested in gaining knowledge about the world. They are uninterested in discovering what lies beyond the putative ice wall in Antarctica that holds back the oceans or why NASA might be guarding it. They just believe in the flat earth and that is that. Their only concern is to bolster the theory, which I think they hold on emotional grounds. They are willing to perform elaborate mental contortions to support their belief, and it is interesting to observe how much of modern science they are willing to jettison in order to keep their belief afloat, eg gravity.

Whereas the explanations given for the earth being flat are interesting, to me it is more interesting to enquire what causes people to seek these explanations in the first place. What causes people to believe the earth is flat?

Four factors come to mind. One is a desire to be rid of experts and eggheads, who insist on telling ordinary people what to think. In the case of the earth's apparent flatness, the boffins are telling us to deny the evidence of our senses by invoking the large-scale curvature of the earth, something that is far from apparent in ordinary life. Flat earth is like the last stand of common sense in the face of the inexorable advance of science, which keeps telling us the world is far stranger than we thought. It is also a form of contrariness and rebellion against authority. The second is the ego-gratification of knowing a secret that is hidden from nearly everyone else. The third factor is on religious grounds. The fourth is a desire to return to a comforting and anthropocentric model of the universe, rejecting the notion that our planet is an insignificant speck in the incomprehensible vastness of the universe.

Many ancient cultures subscribed to a flat earth cosmography, including Greece until the classical period (323 BC). However, early Christian writers tended to believe the earth is spherical, though with some notable exceptions. Curiously, it wasn't until 1849 that the flat earth belief was resurrected by Rowbotham and later others. He argued that the "Bible, alongside our senses, supported the idea that the earth was flat and immovable and this essential truth should not be set aside for a system based solely on human conjecture".

In the internet era, the proliferation of communications technology and social media have given individuals a platform to spread pseudo-scientific ideas and build stronger followings. The flat earth conjecture has flourished in this environment. Social media and the internet have made it easier for like-minded thinkers to connect and mutually reinforce their beliefs. They have also had a levelling effect, in that experts have less sway in the public mind than they used to.

The belief that the earth is flat could be seen as the ultimate conspiracy theory, given how many people are needed for a cover-up on such a scale. According to the Flat Earth Society's leadership, its ranks have grown by 200 people per year since 2009. Judging by the exhaustive effort flat earthers have invested in fleshing out the theory on their website, as well as the staunch defenses of their views they offer in media interviews and on Twitter, it would seem that these people genuinely believe the earth is flat. They tend to distrust observations they have not made themselves, and often distrust or disagree with each other. I imagine they are maverick individuals who enjoy challenging the status quo.

Paul Sutter, "The question isn't 'why do people believe in a flat Earth?' but rather 'why do people believe in a conspiracy?' And the answer is the same reason it always is: a lack of trust. Many people don't trust the society around them, most notably the representatives of that society. By claiming that the Earth is flat, people are really expressing a deep distrust of scientists and science itself."

Heaven's Gate

Heaven's Gate Logo

Far more bizarre than the flat earth belief are the doctrines of Heaven's Gate, which melded the Bible with belief in UFOs into a religious cult. It was founded in California in 1974 by Marshall Applewhite and Bonnie Nettles. These two pondered the life of St. Francis of Assisi and read works by Helena Blavatsky, RD Laing, and Richard Bach. They studied several passages from the New Testament, focusing on teachings about Christology, asceticism, and eschatology ("the end times"). Applewhite also read science fiction, including Robert Heinlein and Arthur Clarke. They concluded that they had been chosen to fulfill biblical prophecies, and that they had been given higher-level minds than other people. They wrote a pamphlet that described Jesus' reincarnation as a Texan, a thinly veiled reference to Applewhite.

Eventually, Applewhite and Nettles resolved to contact extraterrestrials, and they sought like-minded followers. They published advertisements for meetings, where they recruited disciples, whom they called "the crew". At the events, they purported to represent beings from another planet, the Next Level, which sought participants for an experiment that would bring people to a higher evolutionary level.

In September 1975, the group visited the small town of Waldport, Oregon, to give a lecture about how UFOs were soon going to make contact with the human race. Roughly 150 people packed into a motel hall to hear Applewhite. At first the town thought it was a joke. However, soon after, in a testament to Applewhite's charisma and powers of persuasion, 20 people - or about one in 30 residents of the town - drove off to a meeting of about 400 people in Grand Junction, Colorado, in the hope of meeting aliens.

Later, the crew sold all their worldly possessions and said farewell to loved ones; the group vanished from the public eye. From that point, "Do and Ti", as the two now called themselves, led the nearly one-hundred-member crew across the country, sleeping in tents and begging in the streets. Evading detection by the authorities and media enabled the group to focus on Do and Ti's doctrine of helping members of the crew achieve a "higher evolutionary level" above human, which they claimed to have already reached.

Most of their followers are described by researchers as having been longtime truth-seekers, or spiritual hippies who had long attempted to find themselves through spiritual means. The clan of UFO followers all seemed to have in common a need for communal belonging in an alternative path to higher existence without the constraints of institutionalised faith. The group purchased alien abduction insurance that would pay out $1 million per person, covering abduction, impregnation, or death by aliens.

Applewhite began to emphasize a strict hierarchy, teaching that his students needed his guidance, just as he needed the guidance of the Next Level. A relationship with Applewhite was said to be the only way to salvation and he encouraged his followers to see him as Christ. In the 1980s, the group became more like a religion in its focus on faith and submission to authority. Students who were not committed to this lifestyle were encouraged to leave; departing members were given financial assistance. He specifically cited sexual urges as the work of Lucifer. Applewhite, "We do in all honesty hate this world".

In March 1997, Marshall Applewhite videoed himself in Do's Final Exit, speaking of mass suicide as "the only way to evacuate this Earth". After asserting that a spacecraft was trailing Comet Hale-Bopp and that this event would represent the closure to Heaven's Gate, Applewhite persuaded 38 followers to prepare for ritual suicide so their souls could board the supposed craft. Applewhite believed that after their deaths a UFO would take their souls to another level of existence above human, which he described as being both physical and spiritual.

News of the 39 deaths in Rancho Santa Fe motivated the copycat suicide of a 58-year-old man living near Marysville, California. The man left a note, "I'm going on the spaceship with Hale-Bopp to be with those who have gone before me," and imitated some of the details of the Heaven's Gate suicides as they had been reported in the media. At least three former members of Heaven's Gate committed suicide in the months after the mass suicide.

Heaven's Gate members believed the earth would be wiped clean and refurbished before 2027, and that the only chance for their consciousness to survive was to leave their human bodies at an appointed time. Initially, the group had been told that they would be transported with their bodies aboard a spacecraft that would come to earth and take the crew to heaven, the Next Level. When Nettles (Ti) died of cancer in 1985, it confounded Applewhite's doctrine because Nettles was allegedly chosen by the Next Level to be a messenger on earth, yet her body died instead of leaving physically to outer space. The belief system was then revised to include the leaving of consciousness from the body as equivalent to leaving the earth in a spacecraft.

While the group was against suicide, they defined "suicide" to mean "to turn against the Next Level when it is being offered" and believed their bodies were only vehicles meant to help them on their journey. Suicide, therefore, would be not allowing their consciousness to leave their human bodies to join the Next Level. They believed that, "to be eligible for membership in the Next Level, humans would have to shed every attachment to the planet". This meant members had to give up all human characteristics, such as their family, friends, sexuality, individuality, jobs, money, and possessions.

The Evolutionary Level Above Human was seen as a physical, corporeal place, another planet, where residents live in pure bliss and nourish themselves by absorbing pure sunlight. They do not engage in sexual intercourse, eating or dying. Heaven's Gate believed that what the Bible calls God is actually a highly developed Extraterrestrial. Evil space aliens - called Luciferians - falsely represented themselves to Earthlings as God and conspired to keep humans from developing. Technically advanced humanoids, these aliens have spacecraft, space-time travel, telepathy, and increased longevity. They use holograms to fake miracles. Heaven's Gate believed that all existing religions on earth had been corrupted by these malevolent aliens.

Applewhite taught that "aliens planted the seeds of current humanity millions of years ago, and have come to reap the harvest of their work in the form of spiritually evolved individuals who will join the ranks of flying saucer crews. Only a select few members of humanity will be chosen to advance to this transhuman state. The rest will be left to wallow in the spiritually poisoned atmosphere of a corrupt world". Only the individuals who chose to join Heaven's Gate, followed its belief system, and made the sacrifices required by membership would be allowed to escape the prophesied disaster.

In a group open only to adults over the age of 18, members gave up their possessions and lived a highly ascetic life. The group was strictly regimented, tightly knit and everything was communally shared. Eight of the male members, including Applewhite (who was gay), voluntarily underwent castration as an extreme means of maintaining the ascetic lifestyle. "They couldn't stop smiling and giggling," surviving member DiAngelo told Newsweek. "They were excited about it."

Lalich speculates that they were willing to follow Applewhite in suicide because they had become totally dependent upon him, hence were poorly suited to life in his absence. He isolated them socially and cultivated an attitude of complete religious obedience. Applewhite's students had made a long-term commitment to him. Most of the dead had been members for about 20 years, although there were a few recent converts.

Three of the people who suicided left exit statements on their website. These extoll the joys of the Next Level while summing up people on earth as the walking dead. The texts are not the ramblings of disordered minds. The content is fantasy, but they are written in a lucid way in excellent English and give every appearance of sincerity. Unlike the Flat Earth Society, which no doubt numbers people who joined for a joke, as well as those who are not fully convinced, there is little doubt that the members of Heaven's Gate were totally committed to their beliefs. After all, they gave up their sexuality and their lives for their ideal.

QAnon

QAnon at the Capitol invasion

QAnon is a powerful but diffuse contemporary movement that sought to have Trump re-elected. It is animated by a loose collection of extreme right conspiracy theories whose central theme is that a cabal of Satan-worshipping pedophiles is running a global child sex-trafficking ring and plotting against Donald Trump, who is fighting the cabal. QAnon claims that Obama, Hillary Clinton, George Soros, and others are planning a coup against Trump and are involved in an international child sex-trafficking ring. It alleges that an elite cabal of pedophiles, comprising, among others, Hollywood A-listers, leading philanthropists, Jewish financiers and Democrat politicians, covertly rule the world. Followers of QAnon believe that there is an imminent event known as the "Storm", when thousands of members of the cabal will be arrested and possibly sent to Guantanamo Bay prison, and the US military will brutally take over the country. The result will be salvation and utopia on earth. QAnon promises a "Great Awakening", in which the elites will be routed and the truth revealed.

However, this summary is misleading because QAnon is amorphous, multi-faceted and confusing. In addition it keeps shape-shifting.

The conspiracy theory began with an October 2017 post on the anonymous bulletin-board 4chan by "Q". Q claimed to be a high-level government official with Q clearance. Q predicted the imminent arrest of Hillary Clinton and a violent uprising nationwide. It is likely that Q has become a group of people acting under the same name. QAnon's adherents, while seeing Trump as a flawed Christian, also view him as a messiah sent by God. Trump himself pretends to know little about QAnon, which is a lie. Trump has amplified QAnon messaging at least 216 times by retweeting or mentioning 129 QAnon-affiliated Twitter accounts, sometimes multiple times a day. Being a savvy politician, Trump is perfectly aware that many, perhaps most, of his supporters are QAnon people. He made a correct political calculation, deciding to give only scant public endorsement to QAnon. Showing full support would hurt his standing with moderate Republicans, whereas he does not need to do anything to retain the devotion of QAnon. They are happy with the crumbs he throws their way, being accustomed to snatching at Q's hints.

Q's posts have become more cryptic and vague, allowing followers to map their own beliefs onto them. Part of QAnon's appeal is its game-like quality, in which followers attempt to solve riddles presented in Qdrops by connecting them to Trump speeches and tweets. Q enthralls readers with clues rather than presenting claims directly. Travis View, a researcher who studies QAnon, says that it is as addictive as a video game, and offers the "player" the appealing possibility of being involved in something of world-historical importance. According to View, "You can sit at your computer and search for information and then post about what you find, and Q basically promises that through this process, you are going to radically change the country, institute this incredible, almost bloodless revolution, and then be part of this historical movement that will be written about for generations."

Although Q's claims are false and the prophecies routinely fail, this does little to decrease Q's influence. Believers overlook the lack of results and failed predictions because they gauge the movement's success by its popularity, its opposition from the mainstream media, and its recognition by the President himself. On multiple occasions, Q has dismissed his false claims and incorrect predictions as deliberate, claiming that "disinformation is necessary". This has led psychologist Stephan Lewandowsky to emphasize the "self-sealing" quality of the conspiracy theory, so that evidence against it can become evidence of its validity in the minds of believers. "The absence of evidence is reinterpreted as evidence without batting an eyelid." Conspiracy enthusiasts believe that the burden of proof lies with their opponents, ie that QAnon's claims are valid in the absence of positive proof that there is no cabal and no trafficking of children by Democrats.

Experts judge that QAnon's appeal is comparable to that of religious cults. According to Renee DiResta, QAnon's pattern of enticement is similar to that of cults in the pre-internet era where, as the targeted person was led deeper and deeper into the group's secrets, they became increasingly isolated from friends and family outside the cult. Rachel Bernstein, an expert on cults, has said, "What a movement such as QAnon has going for it, and why it will catch on like wildfire, is that it makes people feel connected to something important that other people don't yet know about... All cults will provide this feeling of being special."

A series of ideas began burbling in the QAnon community: that the coronavirus might not be real; that if it was, it had been created by the "deep state", the cabal of government officials and other elite figures who secretly run the world; that the hysteria surrounding the pandemic was part of a plot to hurt Trump's re-election chances. QAnon is a movement united in mass rejection of reason, objectivity, and other Enlightenment values. Some QAnoners are highly focused on what they perceive as degeneracy in the mainstream media, a perception fuelled in equal measure by Q and by Trump. QAnon may be propelled by paranoia and populism, but it is also driven by religious faith. The language of evangelical Christianity has come to define the QAnon movement. QAnon marries an appetite for the conspiratorial with positive beliefs about a radically different and better future, one that is preordained. As one adherent proclaimed, "It's not a theory. It's the foretelling of things to come."

Edgar Welch is a deeply religious father of two, who until December 4, 2016, had lived an unremarkable life in a small town. That morning, Welch grabbed his collection of guns and drove 580 km to a neighbourhood in Northwest Washington, DC. He held an AR-15 rifle across his chest as he walked through the front door of a pizzeria called Comet Ping Pong. Welch was there because of a conspiracy theory known as Pizzagate, which three years later became a pillar of QAnon. It claimed that Hillary Clinton was running a child sex ring out of Comet Ping Pong. The idea originated in October 2016, when some conspiracy theorists asserted that sexual abuse of children was taking place in the basement at Comet, where there is no basement. After firing a rifle to break a lock, Welch realised his mistake and gave himself up to police. He was sentenced to four years in prison. The New York Times wrote in June 2020 that posts on TikTok with the #PizzaGate hashtag were viewed more than 82 million times in recent months. The abuse of children fantasy arose because someone suggested that emails written by the restaurateurs referring to 'pizza' and 'pasta' were code words for 'boys' and 'girls'.

The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters

by Goya

Anthony Comello was charged with the March 2019 murder of Gambino crime family boss, Frank Cali. According to his defense attorney, Comello had become obsessed with QAnon theories, believing Cali was a member of a "deep state". Comello was convinced he "was enjoying the protection of President Trump himself" so he decided to act. Confronting Cali outside his Staten Island home, Comello allegedly shot Cali ten times. A May 30, 2019, FBI Intelligence Bulletin memo from the Phoenix Field Office identified QAnon-driven extremists as a domestic terrorism threat. Although the conspiracy that QAnon imagines does not exist, there is a real danger that QAnon itself might become a conspiracy of armed vigilantes, determined to bring about the promised "Storm". The storming of the US Capitol by Trump supporters, including QAnoners, is not a good sign.

Heavy on millennialism and the idea that a reckoning awaits the world, the theory has found fertile ground in the American alt-right. Some 56% of Republicans believe that QAnon is mostly or partly true. At least 35 current or former congressional candidates have shown support for QAnon. A Time magazine article listed Q among the 25 most influential people on the internet in 2018. Counting more than 130,000 related discussion videos on YouTube, Time cited the wide range of the conspiracy theory and its prominent followers and news coverage.

Why did Q's cryptic post on an obscure message-board ignite a movement involving millions? Why were so many eager to embrace such a far-fetched conspiracy theory? Perhaps it was the surge in confidence of the Right in the wake of Trump's win. Whatever the reasons, the grass was dry and Q provided the spark. Not all QAnoners come from a rightwing background. For those who have had no agency to suddenly discover a path into the game is heady stuff.

QAnon is not confined to the US. It has organised protest demonstrations in 200 countries, ostensibly to "save the children". One in four Britons are said to believe in QAnon-related theories. According to The Guardian, QAnon is growing in the UK, spilling over into anti-vaccine and 5G protests, fuelled by online misinformation. At a QAnon rally, Shemirani, a nurse suspended for promoting baseless theories about Covid19, told the crowd: "Our government has declared war on the people of the UK."

"There is a high possibility that the spirited belief system which surrounds QAnon can slowly become a political movement in the UK," Liyanage said. "It will be successful because no one can fight it through reason. It's not a rational belief system but mostly a supernatural belief system."

The time for Trump to arrest the pedophiles and satanists is fast running out. It is interesting to speculate what effect his departure will have on a conspiracy theory in which he is the key figure. My guess is that the powerful energy and passion that drive QAnon will shift focus.

My own view is that QAnon is a blank slate onto which people project their darkest nightmares, as well as their hopes for a Christian utopia. Where do the ideas of satanism, eating children, sinister cabals, sexual depravity, and other crimes against children come from? The answer is simple: from the minds of those who form QAnon. QAnon is nothing but a mirror showing people their shared fantasy. People are sharing with each other their worst fears, as well as their hopes. The dark parts are projected onto the favourite targets of the alt-right, ie Hillary and other Democrats, Jews, and liberals, whereas the messianic hopes are projected onto Trump and Q. However, it is a mistake to see the QAnon conspiracy theory as the work of Q. Although Q was the initial cause, his cryptic and vague messages are merely prompts, asking people to fill in the blanks. This is what many have done and the result is a miasma of fanciful lies about corruption, sexual perversions and violence. The irony is that whereas the accusations made by QAnon are entirely baseless, QAnon might itself become a violent entity, little better than the chimera it rails against.

James Baldwin wrote, "It is a terrible, an inexorable, law that one cannot deny the humanity of another without diminishing one's own." Voltaire put it more starkly, "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

Is Credulity Humanity's Achilles Heel?

The three belief systems discussed have almost nothing in common except the rejection of the consensus view of reality, combined with belief in a fantasised conspiracy. In each case, powerful unseen forces are seen as perverting or hiding the truth of what is really going on. All three beliefs appear absurd except to people who are believers. The puzzle is why do apparently normal people adopt such ideas?

In a study published online in March, 2014, in the American Journal of Political Science, Oliver and Wood, found that about half of Americans endorse at least one conspiracy theory, such as the notion that 9/11 was an inside job or the JFK conspiracy. "Many people are willing to believe many ideas that are directly in contradiction to a dominant cultural narrative," Oliver said. According to him, conspiratorial belief stems from a human tendency to perceive unseen forces at work, known as magical thinking.

In the Middle Ages the Devil was a convenient factor that could be used to explain anything weird or harmful, while the deity took responsibility for the rest. With the advance of science, both the Devil and God gradually lost their explanatory powers. God became "the God of the gaps", being only needed to explain what was missing in our understanding of the physical world. Nowadays, the term "act of God" is reserved to describe the insurance industry's view of natural disasters.

In the modern era magical thinking has undergone a new twist. God and the Devil have been replaced by conspiracies. A recent survey of 26,000 people in 25 countries asked respondents whether they believe there is "a single group of people who secretly control events and rule the world together". In the US 37% replied that this is "definitely or probably true". So did 45% of Italians, 56% of Spaniards and 78% of Nigerians.

2020 was the year of Covid19. The coronavirus has triggered the rise of myriad myths, waves of misinformation and virus conspiracy theories, including that it does not exist - believed by 22% in Poland, where there have been nearly 1.4 million cases. The virus has also had an incubating effect on unrelated conspiracy theories because it has thrown humankind into a state of fear and isolated people in their homes with too much time to think and surf. The extra time in the virtual space means increased exposure to the proponents of conspiracy theories, without the balancing effect of social interactions.

According to the Dunning-Kruger Effect, the normal process is that as people begin to acquire knowledge of a given subject, their feelings of competence rise quickly towards a peak, before declining, as they begin to realise how much more there is to know. In the case of conspiracy theories, such as QAnon, people can arrive almost immediately at that delicious peak of confidence, without actually learning anything at all. QAnon is like a super-car that can do 0 to 100 kph in 3 seconds flat. Many are captivated by the vicarious thrill of believing they are privy to vastly important secrets about which millions of people have no idea. This is the seductive appeal of conspiracy theories.

What causes us to believe? There is an analogy between religions and conspiracy theories. Once you pay the price of entry, ie faith in a religious doctrine or conspiracy, the payoff is that much of the confusion and mystery of life is dispelled because you are in possession of the answers. Yuval Harari: "Our lives are repeatedly rocked by wars, revolutions, crises and pandemics. But if I believe some kind of global cabal theory, I enjoy the comforting feeling that I do understand everything. The skeleton key of global cabal theory unlocks all the world's mysteries and offers me entree into an exclusive circle - the group of people who understand. It makes me smarter and wiser than the average person and even elevates me above the intellectual elite and the ruling class: professors, journalists, politicians. I see what they overlook - or what they try to conceal."

The spectrum of irrational beliefs shares one characteristic: they are all unfalsifiable. Their adherents never say, "If such-and-such happens I will discard this belief." This is particularly apparent in doomsday predictions. The predicted date comes and goes, but the true believers simply reset the clock to a future date. A cult called the Seekers went one better. They believed a UFO would save them from a cataclysm on December 24, 1954. Afterwards, some of the members claimed that their group's devotion had saved the rest of the world from disaster. They responded by proselytizing with renewed vigour. Cults and conspiracy theories are highly resistant to correction. Even the thoroughly discredited Pizzagate is still believed by masses of people.

The self-validating nature of the beliefs ensures that all evidence can be construed as confirmation. New findings that contradict a belief are interpreted as proof of the further workings of the conspiracy to hide the truth. Yet cults and conspiracy theories are not the only systems that guarantee their own validation. If one questions what is taught in a personal growth course one is rebuked with, "You are resisting". Pseudo-science is very difficult to debunk. Inconvenient facts, such as aliens not showing up, are explained by another tweak to the doctrine.

To be fair, the process of theory adjustment happens in science proper as well. When a theory fails experimental test it may be given an additional proviso that accounts for the discrepancy. For instance, the fact that personal experience can be handed down as a genetic legacy to future generations seems to contradict standard evolutionary theory. As it turns out, there is no contradiction. A new sub-science called epigenetics explains the mechanism of this process in terms of alterations to the DNA molecule that do not change the genetic code but which influence gene expression.

Since science is a human activity, it is subject to the foibles of our species. It too has dogmas that are difficult to overturn. Thomas Kuhn has written persuasively about paradigm shifts in science. He saw the history of science as consisting of normal and revolutionary phases, in which the community of scientists in a particular field are plunged into periods of turmoil, uncertainty and angst. These revolutionary phases, such as the transition from classical physics to quantum mechanics, involve great conceptual breakthroughs and lay the basis for a succeeding phase of business as usual. This is captured in an aphorism that is only half humorous, "The measure of the greatness of a scientist is how long they hold up advancement in their chosen field."

The history of science features dogmas that were held too long and new ideas that took an unreasonably long time to be accepted. One example is the resistance to the theory of plate tectonics, another is the opposition to a bacterial explanation for the cause of ulcers. The mainstream rejection of functional medicine and the progress it has made in curing Alzheimer's Disease is a current example.

Nevertheless, the greatest strength of science is that it is tentative: any scientific theory may be overturned and replaced by a better theory in the future. The criterion of a theory being scientific is that it makes predictions which could, in principle, be falsified by new data. Yet to a fundamentalist or a common sense sceptic, such as a flat earther, this is not a strength but a weakness. They point out that science can never prove anything, that scientific theories have been debunked plus questions science can't answer. Hence science is not to be trusted. With the authority of science diminished, the field opens for persuasive individuals with pet theories, especially about conspiracies. Why conspiracies? Because a belief that goes counter to the accepted view of reality requires a widespread suppression of the truth.

The bottom line is that many people do not perform due diligence in checking the information they encounter and its sources. Given the virulent spread of QAnon and other conspiracy theories, this is a massive under-statement. The worry is that many obtain their news from questionable sources, such as Facebook and YouTube.

Ultimately, eschewing reputable news media in favour of bulletin-boards and succumbing to their conspiracy theories has deeper causes. These are alienation and a lack of trust in society and its leaders. Why are people alienated and distrustful? Perhaps the underlying problem is not credulity but its opposite, ie a loss of belief in the system. Those who are drawn to far-right conspiracy theories have lost trust in democracy and the modern state. They think the US no longer embodies the ideals they believe in. Conservative Christians and right-wingers resent their defeat in "the culture wars", which were about abortion, separation of church and state, creationism, recreational drug use, homosexuality, and censorship. Perhaps the "Great Awakening" is their dream of a return to how things were. The fact that they grasp at ludicrous ideas indicates the depth of their disaffection.

Of course, irrational beliefs, superstitions, baseless theories and weird cults have been with us all through history, ever since the invention of writing, and probably long before. The difference now is that we supposedly live in the age of reason and science. Furthermore, knowledge is far more freely available than at any time in the past. The problem is that disinformation, extravagant falsehoods, fringe beliefs, and sensational stories are more easily disseminated than ever before, and they seem to capture peoples' attention more than sober facts. The difference between 30 years ago and now is that anyone can post anything and potentially reach millions of people. It's the old story - those who know least have the loudest voices. The paradox is that although reliable knowledge is now easily accessible to anyone with an internet connection, millions are turning their backs on both science and common sense.

My conclusion is that despite the advances of human knowledge, human nature itself has not changed. We remain a species ruled by emotion rather than logic, and hence we come to believe all kinds of nonsense.

Another conclusion comes from an insight of the brilliant intellectual, Yuval Harari. He is convinced that we human beings can only prosper and live in harmony with each other provided we believe in a shared myth. If so, then a propensity towards credulity might be built into our genome. Unfortunately, credulity is dangerous, as shown in Heaven's Gate, the Jim Jones cult and QAnon.

Tad Boniecki

January 2021

#conspiracy theory #QAnon #Trump Q

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thedinanshiral · 4 years

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Magic, mages and more

If you’ve played the Dragon Age series you’ve probably noticed some differences here and there. Origins was heavy on tactics, something Inquisition lacks considerably, and Dragon Age 2 allowed for blood magic, which Origins had little of and Inquisition barely mentions. All lore aside, we can experience magic in Thedas more closely through our mage companions in each game ( or your character if you chose the mage class).

First, i’ll discuss briefly how magic spells have changed throughout the games, then i’ll analyse a mage pattern and how it broke. And finally i’ll entertain some future over the top possibilities.

Origins and DA2 were designed primarily to be played on PC, and we see this more clearly on Origins through its tactics-heavy gameplay. Spells in Origins are more suitable to a carefully planned combat strategy, with passive and status-inducing spells presented in a variety that didn’t survive into the following games. DA2 also allows for tactics but the combat system is more dynamic, it’s not necessary to pause/unpause 5 times per second, one can do battles in real time and as a result spells were considerably reduced, prioritizing active/offensive spells, and almost entirely eliminating status-inducing and supportive spells.

Unlike its predecessors, Inquisition was way more console-friendly and all but eliminated the tactics system from Origins; now combat was fast, direct, with a tactical screen capable of basic commands and overall limited, and spell trees were reduced to the bare minimum, with elemental attacks, and very few defensive spells, having completely eliminated healing.

So, in short, summonings disappeared after Origins, as did most of the Creation, Spirit and Entropy trees. By Inquisition, none of the glyphs or hexes survived. Some spells icons from DA2 reappear in Inquisition, but most from Origins never made it past it, and some spells changed name or spell tree between games. There’s a gradual simplification of spell trees from one game to the next, adjusting combat to a more straightforward style, with less support or status-inducing spells and an increasing concentration of active spells with enhancing passive ones. On the other hand, Healing all but disappeared from Inquisition spells, “spirit healer” not even surviving as a specialization, with the only healing spell available being Revival which as the name implies you can only use on an already fallen party member. Surprisingly, Dispel made it through all three games staying in the same spell tree, Spirit, and elemental spells remained the same across all games, with minor changes.

Now let’s take a look at all our main mage companions.

In Origins we have Morrigan (apostate, shapeshifter), and Wynne (circle mage, spirit healer, vessel for spirit of Faith). In DA2 we have Merrill (dalish, blood mage), and Anders (former circle mage turned apostate, healer, vessel for spirit of Justice/Vengeance). In inquisition however we get three mages: Dorian (Tevinter pariah, pyromancer, necromancer), Vivienne (circle loyalist, icemancer, knight-enchanter) and Solas (apostate, electromancer,rift mage).

Just in case the pattern isn’t clear enough..In both games we get an apostate and formally educated and trained mage, a mage who lived in the wild and a mage who lived in cities, a mage who dwells in obscure or forbidden magic used for offense and a mage dedicated primarily to healing and support, a mage who deals in dangerous magic but remains their own and a mage who despite dealing in safer magic harbours a spirit within (by Chantry dogma, an abomination).

This pattern is broken in Inquisition; while we still get an apostate and a circle mage, we also get a mage that while not from the circle still isn’s technically an apostate (Dorian), we also get no healer but we do get a mage that specializes in obscure magic (necromancy), and we don’t really get a mage that has lived in the wild but one who’s lived outside of Thedosian society (Solas, being who he is and having recently woken up from the longest nap ever). And instead of getting a mage sharing their body with a spirit of the Fade, we get an ancient elf who secretely is an elvhen god and the creator of the Veil. Solas breaks the pattern (as well as everything else, apparently).

I’ll focus on Inquisition from now on and leave Solas for last.

Auto-level evidences the default element of choice of each mage. Solas is an electromancer, Dorian is a pyromancer, and Vivienne is an icemancer. Dorian preferring fire makes sense as a Tevinter who constantly complains the South is cold, implying his homeland has a warmer weather he sorely misses. Vivienne choosing cold spells goes perfectly with her personality, presenting herself as an ice queen.

Here is where it begins to get a bit tricky: Specializations.

Dorian’s is Necromancy, which would make a lot of sense...if he was Nevarran. Being a Tevinter it’d make more sense for him to be a Blood Mage. But Origins and particularly DA2 already exposed blood magic, painted it in all its evil colours, made it pretty clear it’s the wrong kind of magic to use for all the dangers it entails. By the time we get Inquisition, we face an actual Magister Siderial and Tevinter is painted as this degenerate empire full of evil blood mages, so getting a blood mage specialization was out of the table. Therefore our Tevinter ally got the next most questionable line of magic, necromancy. Because nothing says “almost evil” as raising up the death to fight for you and draining lifeforce from your enemies.

Next we have Vivienne who specialises as a Knight-Enchanter (KE). She’s a Circle mage, a Loyalist at that, and KE is a path reserved for Circle mages allowed to engage in combat when requested. But we learn from Solas that the powers used by Knight-Enchanters have their origin in the Arcane Warriors of the ancient elves. Vivienne has no known connection to anything elven, so her being able to become a KE is just another example of the cultural appropriation of elven elements and knowledge done by humans and the Chantry.

None of the specializations are entirely new, as already stated KE takes from Arcane Warriors, much of the Necromancer tree comes from the previous games’ Entropy trees, and the Primal and Force trees lend some spells to the supposedly brand new Rift tree.

Then there’s Solas, who is the default Rift Mage once specializations become available. The Rift spell tree is a post-Breach occurrence, as it was developed by mages studying the Breach and resulting rifts that appeared all over Thedas. It should have unique spells yet it recycles old ones: Stonefist no longer deals physical damage as it did in Origins and DA2 when it was in the Primal tree and meant hurling rocks at the enemy, but spirit damage as it now involves summoning a boulder directly from the Fade. Similarly, DA2’s Force spell Fist of the Maker and subsequent upgrades, Maker’s Hammer and Maker’s Fury, described as “slamming enemies into the ground” with some invisible force became Veilstrike in the Rift tree of Inquisition, there described as “smashing nearby foes to the ground” by “recreating your own fist from from the essence of the Fade”.

Knowing what we know about Solas, his specialization makes sense, he’s responsible for the Veil’s existence so of course he’d know how to manipulate its properties. He’s Fen’Harel, after all.

Still with me? Good, because this ride is about to get bumpy.

As the default Rift mage he can use Veilstrike, recreating his “own fist from the essence of the Fade”, but Veilstrike is actually a rename of Fist of the Maker…So what Solas is really doing whenever he casts Veilstrike is casting the Fist of the Maker. By recreating his own fist..It’s all in the name. Fist of the Maker pre-dates Rift magic, but its rebranding as Veilstrike is post-Breach and named after the Veil and not the Maker, possibly because the one who introduces us to this particular spell now is not Andrastian but the ancient elvhen god and creator of the Veil. Technically speaking we could say Solas, having created the Veil ages ago and therefore being the one responsible for the present reality of Thedas, is then, in a way, its maker. It’s a wild idea, I know, and there are some bits of lore scattered around that could support it, but i’m not jumping into that abyss yet-

In addition, let’s go back to his auto-leveled spells. At first sight there’s no basis for Solas being an electromancer. But like his Rift specialization, his magic preferences are lore/plot oriented. To consider:

Solas prefers the Storm tree. Skyhold is, by its very name, the place from where the Veil was installed. Some codices found at Skyhold mention electricity being used in unknown rituals at Skyhold’s location. Solas was responsible for creating the Veil.

With this in mind it can be concluded that Solas has always been an electromancer, and even used his electric powers in some way to help put up the Veil in the past.

tl;dr Solas was originally an electromancer and is a Rift Mage because he created the Veil and knows it better than anyone else. Also, he may be the Maker. (loljk or am i)

Now what would you say if I told you Solas possibly also does blood magic? Too much of a stretch? Maaaybe..Except maybe not. He’s not against it, thinks of it as simply a means to an end, and doesn’t disapprove of it unless it’s done in excess for all the wrong reasons (as they do in Tevinter) or is used to limit freedom like when used to bind unwilling spirits or control people’s minds. It’s just an idea, but there must be an explanation why blood magic and lyrium (titan blood, so, still blood magic) can be used to tear the Veil open. The Magisters did it before, and a second time when Corypheus sacrificed Divine Justinia in a ritual that also involved...Solas’ Foci. That is, Fen’ Harel’s Foci.

From Tevinter Nights we learn Solas is after the red lyrium idol (again, titan blood) which he claims belongs to him and is a necessary element for the ritual he must perform to take down the Veil. A ritual for which he’s willing to destroy Thedas as we know it, regrettably causing the dead of thousands. For all we know, those deaths are a necessary sacrifice because they are part of a massive blood magic ritual, Solas’ own death may also be part of it. If the blood of a Divine could be used to open the Breach, what could the blood of Fen’Harel be used for?? Solas’ new powers as Fen’Harel are, frankly, terrifying*, and he’s decided to do whatever it takes to see his mission through, sadly.

And all this leads me to future possibilities..we can imagine with Solas actively trying to take down the Veil there will be places where the Veil gets super thin or begins to disappear. Pockets of space where reality no longer respects natural laws of physics or logic. The Fade is fluid, ever changing, with the right power it can be reshaped at will and i imagine some of that may begin to leak into the physical world, so we may get mage (or spirit! )companions with skills capable of taking advantage of that.

Lastly, i may add, right now and as far as we can see, Solas is OP as fuck*. He can kill you in your sleep from within your dreams. He can turn you into stone with just thinking of it, which means in a way he can bend the laws of nature of the physical world like he can do in the Fade, If in the future we get close to him,if we get our hands on artifacts or intel.. it won’t because we gathered the right people and resources, it won’t be because of clever tactics and espionage, it won’t be at all because we did anything right. It’ll be because he allows it, because he let us get that far.

If we stop him at all it’ll be because he wants to be stopped.

(Apologies in advance if some of this is poorly written, i revised it so many times words no longer look like words. Also half of this is just wild speculation on my part and nobody has to agree with me, after 5 years i may be connecting imaginary dots but hey, it’s fun! If you read this far...i am so sorry, thanks)

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #solas #spoilers #tevinter nights #magic #fen'harel

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ebachan · 4 years

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Sonic Movie - FAN sequel

I had this idea for a sequel before this rumor appeared. It sure has its flaws, but I'll try to provide a full-movie story in enough detail to have a picture of what the story-line could be about.

I’m sorry for any mistakes, as this is just a quick draft and idea :-) Tell me what do you think about this :-) Does this sound like a good “draft“ plot?

Tags: @movie-robotnik-positivity @movie-sonic-positivity @aawesomepenguin @welcome-to-green-hills (sorry for the tags, but you are like the biggest Sonic movie fans I know out there :-D )

If you like this, please reblog ;-) And sorry, it’s reaaaaly long ^_^;

I’m using the pictures from the first Trailer to not have this as a block of text ;-)

Sonic games: Sonic 2 + Sonic CD

Returning cast: Dr. Robotnik, Annie, Tom, Sonic New cast: Tails, Amy, Metal Sonic Place: Sonic's world (mostly)

Plot: Sonic is in his world after about half of the year after Dr. Robotnik's defeat who went missing. Now, Sonic has more friends - Tails and Amy - and finds a way back to Earth. There, he invites Tom and Annie (I wasn't counting with Jojo here as she wasn't introduced at the time I had this idea) to his world for a picnic or party.

(Also, no Agent Stone - as I can't find a place in this story for him ^_^;)

Tom and Sonic chat with Tails while Annie and Amy are together, and Amy naturally asks how to win Sonic's heart. Annie is amused by this idea and is happy to provide tips and stories on how she had met Tom.

As the party goes on, Dr. Robotnik appears in Eggmobile-like craft and captures the girls. Sonic is surprised but also excited, as he can take on Dr. Robotnik once more. Tom isn't for obvious reasons. Dr. Robotnik gloats as usual, and Sonic gives him his nickname Eggman or talks about his new mustache-cut to Robotnik's annoyance and nicknaming Sonic pin cushion or needle mouse or rodent (to name a few easter eggs).

When Sonic attacks Eggman, he is deflected by equally fast blue bur which turns out into Metal Sonic. With a new threat and enemy, Sonic is unable to keep up with somebody with equal speed and fast reflexes. Sonic ends up hurt, and Robotnik takes both girls away (they are squirming, and Annie is trying to escape with Amy being more of damsel-in-distress for the time being).

Tom helps Sonic and finds out Tails was hiding in a bush. The kid is scared-cat after all at this point. Sonic wants to go after them, but Tom stops him, insisting he will go too. They only need to figure out how to tail them.

At this moment Tails mentions Tornado, his makeshift plane he was developing. They head to his house, and Sonic is hyper over the plane. together they set forward.

New place: A Robotnik's hideout resembling Chemical Plant zone

Meanwhile, Eggman/Robotnik imprisons the girls and gloats about his plan and Metal Sonic. Metal is in this movie "mute" and follows the order to the last bite (that can perhaps turn to a bit of comedic moment). Annie tries to get more info from Robotnik with moderate success, as he loves to gloat.

Robotnik explains, he had discovered great energy sources in this world and is using them to power his new robot army (I imagine the wide-smiling orange robots from Sonic Colors or Heroes for example) with some resembling Badniks. His ultimate goal is to conquer this world, then move to Earth and then the whole universe.

New place: Tail's house

There, Tails shows them his plane, and together they embark on finding Amy and Annie. Sonic stands on the plane as seen in Games. Tails uses his yellow-console to find some traces left by Metal Sonic, and they follow the robot to different zones (inspiration from CD perhaps). When flying above one, they are attacked by the new robots.

Sonic rushes to beat them, realizing inside are animals, and so he has to change his approach. At the same time, Tails in the air loses control over his plane, as he is hit and goes for an ugly crash landing. Sonic can't save them, and when the plane explodes, Sonic is devastated that he had lost his friends. But a few seconds later he hears Tom and Tails from above, and to his surprise, he sees Tails flying.

Tails then explains, he was always bullied for his two tails and was shy to tell Sonic, the first person to be nice to him, that he can fly as not to be seen as a freak. But for Sonic, this ability is way past cool, and Tom can only agree. The travel further, finding a signal coming from an old temple (Sonic 4 perhaps).

Here, Toms helps them to navigate as he had seen many Indiana Jones movies and knows how to these places works... by setting one or two traps along the way. But in the end, they encounter some robots, free the animals, and make their way toward the center. Inside is Metal, collecting data for Dr. Robotnik (we can see statues resembling Echidnas and the mosaic showing Chaos - as a tease for the next movie).

Sonic engages in the battle, frustrated he had lost the first time. He takes this fight more seriously, and it can be seen on him not having any smart-jokes or puns.

Back to Dr. Robotnik

Annie tries to figure out how to escape, but Amy is more in the corner, questioning her attempt. Annie has no intention to wait for boys to save her, as she is no princess from the tower. Dr. Robotnik is getting ready in unleashing his robotic army with a nice countdown of a few hours.

I'm not sure how would they escape in this point (outsmarting a robot-guard, perhaps Agent Stone - But I haven't had any role for him in here), but after they escape their prison, Annie and Amy are attacked by robots. Annie tells Amy to run away, while she beats the robots with a pipe without much of an effect. Amy stays, watching, and her fists curl.

When it seems Annie is getting seriously hurt, Amy jumps in the actions and with Piko hammer defeats all of them. Annie asks, why Amy didn't use her hammer before. Amy confesses she was made fun by other girls for being a tomboy and not enough lady-like, so she swore to herself she would never use her Piko hammer again.

Annie, says, "I'm sure Sonic would prefer a girl that can keep up with him by his side." This one sentence opens Amy's eyes and pushes her on the way to be herself. Armed and with more hope, they embark on the robot-crushing quest.

Dr. Robotnik isn't happy, but he still does nothing to stop them as everything still goes according to the plan. And he is having his latte time.

Meanwhile Sonic in the temple is losing to Metal, as he lets his frustration control him. Tails and Tom meanwhile figure out how to use the traps to their advantage, messing with Metal Sonic's attack patterns. In the end, Metal buries Sonic under rubble and escapes with all the data he had needed, sure Sonic is dead this time. Metal still needed to record a few places at this point.

However, that isn't the truth. Sonic is bruised, but much alive. During the evening, they patch themselves, and Sonic keeps to himself. Tom goes to him and asks what is troubling him. Sonic isn't happy to say a word, but do it after a bit. Sonic is losing confidence in his speed and is unsure what to do. Tom encourages him to do what he does always - don't give up, keep moving.

Here can resonate words from LongClaw (Sonic's Owl guardian/parental figure) which renews Sonic's passion and will. Right now, they have to hurry, as Tails picked up many signals from Chemical Plant Zone where Eggman resides.

Back to Eggman

As Amy and Annie are getting out, Metal Sonic appears but ignores them as he calculated they are no thread. His orders also didn't include keeping them in prison. With the data, Eggman/Robotnik now can start his Master Plan with the robots being just a distraction to his real plan.

Sonic uses his rings to transport them to zone (as Tails could give him accurate coordinate). There he goes after the robots with Tails and Tom right behind. However, the duo soon finds a suitable weapon - a big mecha-suit (Advanced style) Tails drives and Tom shoots from the lasers. Together, they soon beat the outside army.

While inside, Tails and Tom remain behind to stall the next robot wave, while Sonic goes to find Amy and Annie. We stay with Tails who is showing panic in his face as his brain is telling him in what danger he is. Their mecha-suit gets damaged, and they fell out with robots closing in.

Tom encourages Tails to not give up, to go for what he believes in. Tails' memories flash in the fox's mind, being reminded he was always a big coward and bookworm with little physical endurance. The fox runs away, hiding behind heaps of trash while Tom tries to fight off the robots.

Tails is shivering and flashes of his encounter with Sonic reminds him how happy he was to get the first friend. And they actually explored quite a bit before Tom and Annie arrived. With the crisis getting out of hand, Tails see a computer panel behind himself and hacks it, sending the robots shut-down-command, freeing the animals.

With this, he saves Tom and saves Sonic the trouble of busting the robots to free the animals. Dr. Robotnik notices this and sends Metal to deal with Sonic. Metal is now more aggressive and attacks more often. His calculation told him twice Sonic was dead, yet he stood in front of him. For pure 0-1 logic-brain that was unacceptable, and it had to be fixed - permanently.

While Sonic and Metal fights, Tom and Tails find Annie and Amy. Together they operate an aircraft (it would be cool if it was a blimp-like one) to follow Dr. Robotnik. Sonic boards too, kicking Metal with a big spin-dash leaving the robot crackling.

They catch up to Dr. Robonik above a big lake where appears Little Planet - a place with Time Stones. Dr. Robotnik's ultimate plan is to conquer the Time-and-Space including capturing Baby Sonic to power his machines and rewriting the history to his liking.

The gang faces flying drones, getting closer to Dr. Robotnik who landed on the Little Planet. When they catch up, Dr. Robotnik is about to take the first Time Stone and Metal returns for the last showdown. Sonic can't fight Metal and go after Dr. Robotnik at once, but with a quick-thinking and team-work, they damage Metal.

Time stones are placed on small pedestals around the planet in a special array, that allows it to "travel" outside of the time for a whole year before it appears for a few hours. Now, the gang has only about an hour to leave the planet or stay there trapped (the place has a different time-flow as well and nobody knows how it works - so one year outside can be 50 on the planet).

Dr. Robotnik possesses three stones now and is powering his main machine (Eggmobile-like) with it. The laser blasts now "evaporate" in the air to appear somewhere else a bit later or even before they were shot. Amy, navigates Sonic, as she has a sharp intuition (game inspiration) and so, Sonic avoids many hits.

The rest of the group tries to figure out how to get those stones off the Eggmobile and hinder Dr. Robotnik in going for the next stone. With Dr. Robotnik abusing the power of Stone, the Little Planet exhibits places morphing to its past or possible future self, with ice and lava spurting out of green land. The landscape turns into chaos, and Metal faces his ultimate defeat (Perhaps OAV styled, but that would be sooo sad!).

With the main robot gone, Sonic hits the Eggmobile and gets the stones out. Dr. Robotnik falls into one of the time portals, disappearing. The Little Planet is collapsing and returning back to its own flow of time. To prevent the worst, Sonic heads to place the Time Stones back to their place, hoping to restore the balance.

While the rest waits outside of the Little Planet that is fading away, Sonic is there placing the stones. He sees the rest of Metal's head (alternate ending a bit later), and he heads outside just in the nick of the time. The Little Planet is gone for another year.

With Dr. Robotnik again defeated, they return to their picnic, and Amy shows off her hammer and is more accepted by Sonic. Tails had found courage inside of him and promise to not let fear control him.

After credits, Dr. Robotnik travels through the time witnessing the destruction of the Angel Island by the hand of Chaos and hears the prophecy. He puts one and one together and with the pictures from Metal, he formulates his new plan, while still floating in the stream of time.

Alternate ending: Sonic takes Metal's head with him and Tails turns Metal into a small hedgehog robot similar to Bits in shape and behavior from Sonic Universe - Silver Age.

---------------

This was so loooong. Sorry about that. I don't think this works well for the movie format, and there may be a problem with pacing as I think there is a little space for character development, but I always thought the next movie could be based on Sonic 2 and CD, saving Knuckles for the next one (Sonic 3 & Knuckles + Adventure 1). Yes, there are some logical problems as well, but I think most of it works well :-)

#sonic movie #sonic the hedgehog #sonic theory #fan theory #fan sequel #miles tails prower #dr. robotnik #annie wachowski #tom wachowski #amy rose #adventure #fun #what do you think?#movie sonic

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