#M. A. Carrick
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The Mask of Mirrors, The Liar’s Knot (by M. A. Carrick)
A friend bought me the book The Mask of Mirrors for Christmas and I swear I didn’t emerge from it for three days straight. This is a SUMPTUOUS non-traditional European fantasy with some of the richest world building I’ve read in a while. The magic, the cultures, the history, the fashion, it all felt so tangible that I could mentally pop myself into Nadezhra pretty much from page one. It had the twisty-turny, political intrigue-y plot that really appeals to me - without the intense violence you might find in other series that often get recommended for their politically-driven plots. Secret identities, characters that make you feel things, a queer-norm society, truly detestable villains… I loved this book. So I had to draw the three main characters obv.
I was so shocked that I couldn’t find the sequel in stores anywhere! Had to order online, and gotta say, it was equally good or better than the first… The character moments in The Liar’s Knot felt like releasing a breath you’ve been holding for hours. You’ll know what I mean if you read it ☺️
Anyway, this series deserves way more hype than it has. I read a LOT of SFF and this one stood out to me as truly fantastic. If you love secret identities, slow (SLOW) burn romance, a puzzle-like plot, tarot, and general luxuriousness for your brain…. I beg you to pick up The Mask of Mirrors.
#the mask of mirrors#the liar’s knot#rook and rose#M. A. Carrick#fantasy books#fantasy art#renata viraudax#arenza lenskaya#grey serrado#derossi vargo#book recommendations#fantasy book recs#the only character that didn’t turn out quite like i pictured was Vargo. he’s way hotter than this#he’s hotter than I’m currently capable of drawing him i think actually#oh well. maybe someday I’ll be able to do you justice you sexy moral enigma#my art
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finished the rook and rose trilogy today. (spoiler-free, if anyone is interested, which you should be oh my god please read these books)
after almost two weeks of reading this trilogy, multiple nights spent reading until i realised "oh shit it's 8am and i haven't slept", and essentially not being able to do any of my other interests because i couldn't stop thinking about these books (literally pulled me away from my special interest, guys, oh my god), i feel both happy and sad that it's finished. happy that i experienced this journey, and sad that there isn't more.
the queer representation. the cultures, and languages. the history. the magic. the politics. the characters. i adored every single word of it all.
it was such a satisfying ending, but i still can't help how hungry i am for more. i adore this world and our three main characters, and all of the supporting characters too. i desperately wish to see more of them. i hope some day we might, despite this being the trilogy ending.
my heart feels so full, but i also miss the story and characters already. i feel like this trilogy caught me in a chokehold for almost two weeks solid, and now i don't really know what to do with myself.
#rook and rose#m.a. carrick#the rook and the rose#m. a. carrick#the mask of mirrors#the liar's knot#labyrinth's heart#the rook and rose
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labyrinth's heart (rook and rose #3) thoughts (spoilers!):
i fully did cry at least twice and my heart was so full at the end. i will literally be crying about Alsius for the next year
while it was super well done overall, i think my main criticism is it was way too plotty, especially compared to the first two books where there were wonderful character and slice-of-life downtime. there was so much going on and so much the characters had to do in service of the plot they barely had time to breathe let alone just sit down and speak to each other for more than 30 seconds
we were robbed of the ot3. all the sexy hints and moments and cultural references to everything in this world happening in threes was set up so perfectly for it!!! scream
truly hats off to the authors for such wonderful books, characters, and the world. one of the best recent fantasy series period.
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My resolution for 2022 was pretty simple - all I wanted was to keep track of the books I read over the course of the year. I tracked them all over on Instagram as I finished each book, and last night I finished book #24 (ETA I was able to get one more book in for 2022 and added it to the list).
Nearly all of these books were found through the Queer Science Fiction and Fantasy database, which is an excellent resource for finding books with prominent queer characters. Some of them are just from authors I already liked, but happened to have queer characters anyway, which was nice. I think books 10, 11, 17, and 23 are the only ones that don't have explicitly queer representation, though I have seen people online suggesting that the protags of 17 and 23 are aro/ace.
I also was able to get nearly all of these books through my local library, as well (technically, I could include the two books I already owned, since they are both rereads that I got originally from the library).
So here's the list all in one place, with some notes on them if I feel like it.
The Stone Sky, by N. K. Jemisin
Blackfish City, by Sam J. Miller - I kind of want to read more cyberpunk like this
The Raven Tower, by Ann Leckie - this had a ton of elements that are extremely my jam, and I enjoyed reading this book a lot.
The Mask of Mirrors, by M. A. Carrick
Magic For Liars, by Sarah Gailey
Call Down the Hawk, by Maggie Stiefvater
Karen Memory, by Elizabeth Bear
Red-Stained Wings, by Elizabeth Bear
Together We Will Go, by J. Michael Straczynski - JMS has been destroying me emotionally since high school. I loved this book, but I needed something much, much lighter afterward.
The Sorceress and the Cygnet, by Patricia A. McKillip - this, and its sequel, are favorites of mine since middle school. I realized during this re-read that the character of Lauro Ro might be read as being aromantic, though I think it would be hard to say definitively.
The Cygnet and the Firebird, by Patricia A. McKillip
The Queens of Innis Lear, by Tessa Gratton
The First Sister, by Linden A. Lewis
In the Ravenous Dark, by A. M. Strickland - this book was probably the most horny of all the books I read this year. I liked it, but damn is it horny.
The Collapsing Empire, by John Scalzi - Scalzi's so reliable for me. The Interdependency Cycle books are just my flavor of sci-fi.
The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, by V. E. Schwab
Middle Game, by Seanan McGuire
The Black God's Drums, by P. Djèlí Clark
When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain, by Nghi Vo - this and The Black God's Drums are both closer to novellas, but I'm still counting them. When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain was excellent, and I read it in one sitting while at the laundromat.
Winter's Orbit, by Everina Maxwell - it took a bit for me to get into, but I dug it - my kind of sci-fi, but not quite as much of a popcorn read as Scalzi, if you get my meaning. A bit heavier.
This Golden Flame, by Emily Victoria
Iron Widow, by Xiran Jay Zhao - one of the best books I read this year, this absolutely ruled.
Not Even Bones, by Rebecca Schaeffer
The Consuming Fire, by John Scalzi
Full Fathom Five, by Max Gladstone
#queer sff#n. k. jemisin#sam j. miller#ann leckie#m. a. carrick#sarah gailey#maggie stiefvater#elizabeth bear#j. michael straczynski#patricia a. mckillip#tessa gratton#linden a. lewis#a. m. strickland#john scalzi#v. e. schwab#seanan mcguire#p djeli clark#nghi vo#everina maxwell#emily victoria#xiran jay zhao#rebecca schaeffer#max gladstone
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Today Lois Alison Young reviews M. A. Carrick's (Marie Brennan & Alyc Helms) The Liar's Knot! 🐉
"A brilliant sequel…will leave you craving for more!"
#fantasyfaction#reading#booklr#book review#books & libraries#bookworm#books and libraries#M. A. Carrick#marie brennan#Alyc Helms#The Liar's Knot#Rook & Rose#fantasy#fantasy books
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The way I screamed when I saw this commission! The artwork is by the simply lovely, delightful & talented @rosefuckinggenius. If you have never commissioned her, you should! Rose, you're the absolute best, my dear! Thank you for bringing my babies to life this holiday season!
All is Merry & Bright
Book: Open Heart (Post Series)
Pairing: Tobias Carrick x F!MC (Casey Carrick)
Other Characters: Bryce Lahela, @mydemonsdrivealimo's Jensen Valentine, Vivian Carrick (F!OC), Jordan Carrick (M!OC)
Words/Rating: 1,200 / Teen
Summary: It's their second Christmas with little Samantha, and the Carricks are getting ready to take their Christmas card photo. As Uncle Jordan sets up the perfect shot, Grandma Vivian, Bryce, and Jensen provide the commentary.
A/N: In my timeline, this would be taking place in Christmas of 2024.
With their coffee orders securely in hand, Tobias stepped into the vestibule of his townhome, careful to make sure ‘Hurricane Samantha’ wasn’t underfoot. A year ago, he and Casey wondered what it would be like when she began to walk and talk; now they knew, it only added to the joyful chaos they had come to know and love. It was as familiar as the warm vanilla cinnamon scent that had filled the air ever since Casey moved in and as welcoming as his wife’s loving embrace or his daughter’s smile at the end of the day.
He smiled as he placed the snowflake bedecked cups on their dining room table. The last four years of his life bore no resemblance to the thirty-six that had preceded it, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
He was broken from his thoughts when he heard his brother's desperate pleas from the adjacent room. He was doing his best to keep Samantha occupied, but she was quicker than he thought, and the bowl of red, silver, and green-wrapped Hershey kisses was too tempting. As the toddler's tiny hand reached up and attempted to grab the bowl, Jordan was beginning to unravel.
“No, Sammy! No! I know Mommy and Daddy don't want you on a sugar high while before taking your Christmas pictures!”
But Samantha was undeterred. “Yum-YUMS!” She yelled, the bowl about to topple when her eyes lit up as Tobias lifted her from behind, placing her high atop his shoulders in one swoop.
“Uncle Jordan’s right, pumpkin. Let’s save the sugaring up for after, OK?”
“Wow!” Jordan was astonished. “You said I was right!”
Tobias shot his brother a wiseass smirk. “Yeah, well, even a broken clock is right twice a day! Where is Casey, anyway.”
“Upstairs, finishing her makeup.”
“Still?”
“She was all done,” Jordan shrugged. “But then Ma and Jensen had... opinions... so they’re upstairs giving her a makeover.”
“Oh, shit!” Tobias laughed. “Then we’re safer down here with this little firecracker.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
The three were descending the stairs at that very moment, and Vivian was happy to interrupt her sons.
“Hate to disappoint you, boys. But we smelled that delicious coffee the moment you came in. There’s no keeping us away.”
“Gam-mah!” Samanta squirmed excitedly, throwing her arms her grandmother's way, and Vivian instantly forgot about her coffee.
“Oh, come here, my little angel!" She cooed, retrieving her from Tobias's arms. "That’s right! Tell Daddy that Grandma’s here. His services are no longer needed!”
“Really?” Tobias sneered. “Because with all your complaints of wanting another grandchild, I think my services are most certainly needed.”
Jensen dropped his coffee cup to the table with a thud. His eyes rose to the ceiling as he let out a disgusted sigh. “Jesus...putting up with this shit is not worth the free coffee.”
“Maybe not,” Tobias said, pointing to a few bags on the table. “But there are also cookies from Parziale’s, and I’m ordering in Chinese after the photo... free crab Rangoon, Jen...would that make it worthwhile?”
Jensen would have answered if he weren't too busy shoving cookies in his mouth. He tensed up for a second when Casey's arms encircled his waist. “That’s the only reason he puts up with us,” she grinned. “Free food.”
Tobias let out a slow whistle as he walked to his wife, making a show of looking overhead as he did.
“You don’t need mistletoe... you can just kiss me,” Casey teased, making Jordan snicker.
“And suddenly Jensen is thinking he can just buy his own crab Rangoon.”
“Nah, we just tune them out,” a buoyant voice blurted. Bryce stepped into the room, his smile brighter than the lights on the Christmas tree. He stood next to Jensen and placed a quick peck on his cheek. “Besides, food just tastes better on Tobias’s dime.”
“I’ll drink to that," Jordan smiled with a raised coffee cup.
Tobias studied Casey's face, then kissed her forehead. “Not bad! Not bad at all! Who won the makeup battle.”
“Clearly, it wasn't Jensen,” Casey smiled. “He thought a little punk edge to our family Christmas portrait would go a long way.”
“And I made it clear that my foot would go a long way...” Vivian interjected. “A long way up his ass if he thought I would allow that to happen.”
“ASS!” Samantha hollered, and everyone but Vivian broke into a fit of laughter.
“See what you make me do!” Vivian scolded as she whisked Sammy into the living room. “Making me say bad words in front of my grandbaby.”
“There is a swear jar in the kitchen," Jensen noted.
“Yeah," Bryce added. "Between us and her parents, her college education will be funded before she turns two.”
“Amen to that,” Tobias laughed.
“All right, guys, as fun as this is, do you think we can start taking the pictures?” Jordan requested. “I do have a date tonight.”
“Oh, do you?” Casey teased.
“Yep,” Jordan grinned, playfully smacking his brother. “Someone’s gotta keep the Carrick rep going since this one decided to settle down.”
“That’s not our rep!” Vivian shouted. “You’re not getting any younger either, Jordan! Who is this person? Do we know them?"
"I think I know him," Casey winked. "Make it quick; Vivian is itching to plan another wedding!"
“Oh, pleeeease do!” Bryce groaned. “Please get engaged so she’ll get off our backs.”
“Little Lahela, by now, I thought you understood that I am quite capable of nagging all of you at the same time!”
“Oh! Trust!” Tobias laughed heartily. “Trust! She is!”
“All fun aside," Casey segued. " We should start the photos before it gets too close to Sammy’s naptime.”
“Yeah, we want to do it before my naptime, too,” Bryce added.
“You’re not in the photo,” Tobias reminded. “You can go nap now if you want."
“You know, I’m still insulted by that," Bryce complained. "Why aren’t we in the family photo?”
“Because you’re not their stepsons, no matter how much you may act like it," Vivian advised. "Now, if you want a family portrait, I suggest you two get mar...”
“Annnnd on that note, I’m going to our bedroom to nap,” Jensen announced before exiting the room.
Jordan was adjusting his camera when he teased. “I still don’t understand how those two have a key to your place, have a designated bedroom, and I don’t.”
"Uhm, we even have a little plaque with our names on the door," Bryce added gleefully. "It's bedazzled!"
“Contrary to what Ma says, they are the step-kids that came along with Casey when we got married.”
“Damn right!” Bryce nodded. “But now I'm going to join Jensen in our room. Let me know before you order Chinese, Dad. I may want to add a few things.”
“I would be shocked if you didn’t,” Tobias smiled.
“Sammy, come here, baby,” Casey beamed as her giggling little toddler wobbled over to her. “Let Mommy fix your sweater so we are all pretty for our picture!”
“I’ll admit,” Vivian observed. “Those sweaters wouldn't have been my pick, but they're definitely you two! Plus, they'll make for an adorable family Christmas card.”
Casey stopped what she was doing, exhaling as she snuggled under her husband’s arm. “Family Christmas card... our second. Can you even believe this?”
“Oh, do I hear disappointment there?” he asked sarcastically.
“Not even a little. But sometimes, I’m still astonished. How did we end up here?”
“Do I really have to explain how this came to be, Mrs. Carrick,” Tobias winked. "See, when a man and a woman fall in love...."
“OK, No!" Jordan insisted. “I don’t need to hear about how Sammy came to be.”
“No, we don’t,” Vivian agreed. “But I do need you to keep at it - in private! Because I sure would love a second grandbaby on next year’s card.”
“I think that’s her way of offering to babysit for us tonight,” Casey connived.
Tobias pulled his wife and Sammy closer. “Then, that's our queue! Come on, let's get this picture over with."
@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics
@choicesholidays It fits a few, but let's go with ... it's a tradition. .
Tagging the rest separately.
#choices fanfic#open heart#open heart choices#choices open heart#open heart fanfic#tobias carrick#bryce lahela#tobias carrick x f!mc#bryce lahela x m!mc#choices fanart#playchoices#playchoices fanfic#rosefuckinggenius#christmas#christmas fics#holiday fics
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Round Robin: Chapter 5 - Don’t call me Angel
Book: OH & TRR crossover
Characters mentioned: Luna Auclair (F!OC - OH), Bryce Lahela (M!MC - OH), Tobias Carrick (M!MC - OH, Maxwell Beaumont (M!MC - TRR) and Bertrand Beaumont (M!MC - TRR)
Words in total: 3,373k
A/N: Masterlist for Round Robin @choicesprompts I’m participating for Round Robin for the 1st time and I really hope I could do the characters justice 🥰
Side note: Thank you so much for helping me with this story and helping me get inspired @aallotarenunelma & @annieruok94 🩷🩷🩷🩷
A few weeks ago…
Luna
The phone rang somewhere in the house while I was in the middle of an art project.
A few seconds later I heard footsteps and when I turned around I saw Bryce appear in the doorway, handing me my phone.
”Who is it?“ I asked and turned to my canvas again.
”No idea some fancy talking guy said he wanted to talk to you.“
”Is he sure he got the right person?“ ”Beats me.“
I furrowed my brow and pushed my dark blonde hair out of my face and accidentally got some teal paint in my hair. Good thing it’ll wash out.
”Hello?“ I wiped my paint covered fingers on a cloth I kept handy when I painted.
”Am I speaking to Ms. Luna Auclair?“ A deep voice with a slight accent can be heard from the other end.
”Yes. And who is this?“ I put the phone on speaker and got up slowly as I took my brushes to the sink to wash them.
”My name is Bertrand Beaumont from House Beaumont in Cordonia. I’m sure you’ve heard of me.“
”Hmm. Sorry doesn’t ring a bell.“ I say not able to resist teasing him. Bryce snickered next to me.
”You’re so mean.“ He mouthed, and I kissed his stubbled cheek, making him smile.
I turned back to the conversation, putting Bertrand out of his misery. Poor guy must’ve thought the worst of me.
”I’m just kidding Mr. Beaumont I know who you are. So what can I do for you?“ I turned off the faucet and put my paint brushes upside down so they could dry.
”I could use your help.“ He sounded hesitant, which made me instantly curious.
”Help with what?“
”We have our PR firm that we founded, and we’re trying to give some people a better public image.“ I took my phone into my hand.
”What does that have to do with me? I’m not a PR person. I have a bachelor's degree in fine arts, and I’m currently teaching art at the University of Hawaii.“
I took a look at my half-finished painting sitting on the easel, and decided to let the painting dry for now. I’ll keep working on it later.
When I closed the door Bryce and I walked towards the backyard, where we sat down in our beach chairs, while Bertrand’s voice kept coming out of the speaker.
”I’m very well aware. But I know you’re someone who’s skilled as an artist. And I know you think outside the box, and that’s exactly what we need.“
”I will need more information than that if you want my help.“ I could hear some commotion before another voice replaced Bertrand's.
”Luna right? Hi I’m Maxwell, Bertrand’s brother. Look, my brother's social skills suck sometimes. I have the cliff notes version if you want it?“
”Um…sure fire away.“
”Alright. A few weeks ago there was a bit of an…let’s call it an incident. Tobias Carrick was caught making out with the daughter of one of the hospital directors of Mass Kenmore. Someone apparently posted it online. Of course, it’s gone viral. The damage is done and he could get fired. Because apparently it’s unethical.“
”Poor Tobias. He’s a good friend of me and my fiancé Bryce so he has our sympathies especially since this a massive violation of their privacy to put the video online. I’m really sorry he’s going through that.“
I looked at Bryce who was as surprised as me to hear about this.
”Both Bertrand and I feel terrible, because Tobias seems like such a great guy and then for someone to swoop in and destroy his image like that. This is actually where you come into play. Let’s just say we’ve tried other people to fix his image, but it didn’t work.“
”Like I told your brother, I’m not a PR person. I have zero experience.“
”That’s not what we’re looking for. I’m talking about your other accolades. You’re not only one of the youngest people to finish your bachelor degree, but one where all your professors had only glowing compliments for you. You also published your own book, called Kala Kala - Overcoming anxiety with the help of art. Very nice read. I loved it, it’s also super colorful by the way. Not only do you teach art at the senior center, you’re an active member at arts on the fence, a non-profit organization in Honolulu, Hawaii. You love malasdas and are allergic to ginger. Should I continue? I’ve got more.“
”I…no…that’s fine. But how did you find out that much about me? Not everything is available online.“ I was wondering how the hell they got my phone number, and all the things in my bio Maxwell just mentioned. Why would they even be interested in seeking out my help?
”Let’s say a mutual, redhead found out about it. She bought some of your art, and she said you could be a good fit. I think the phrase »ovaries of steel« was mentioned.“
I gasped in awe.
”You don’t mean Olivia Nevrakis do you? Because then I’m so in. I’d love to meet her. And of course help out in any way I can.“
I heard a whoop and a sigh.
”Is that a yes?“ Maxwell asked unsure.
”Hold on a sec.“ I muted the conversation.
”What do you think B?“ I asked Bryce and I could see his beautiful face, that I could sketch every single day and not get tired of looking at.
”I mean I’m sorry Tobias is going through this. He’s our friend, but are you sure you’re up for it?“ His brown eyes were filled with worry as he gently caressed my stomach.
”I’ll be fine. Women have gotten pregnant before and have worked until they’ve given birth.“ I said with more conviction than I felt right now.
”I know you’re trying to be strong but okay. If you’re really sure, then I’m okay with it, but the smallest hitch, and we’re going back home. And don’t think of going alone. I don’t care who they are. You’re my fiancé and the mother of my kids. So they better believe I’ll be going with you.“
”I love your protective mode.“
”Out of all the things I’ve said, that’s what you focused on?“
I grinned and then I unmuted the conversation.
”Maxwell? I’m in.“
”Thanks Luna. I promise you won’t regret it.“
”I better don’t. Otherwise, you’ll hear me yell at you.“
Maxwell chuckled.
”You got it. There’ll be a private jet to pick you up. I’ll send you the arrival date. Can’t wait to meet you. From the pictures I’ve seen, you're really beautiful.“
”Careful there Casanova.“ Bryce chimed in, and I grinned as I pushed my hand through his soft brown hair, making him relax.
”No worries, I know she’s taken. We’ll see you soon in Cordonia, bye.“
Before I could say anything else the phone call ended. Bryce and I just stared at the phone and then laughed at how surreal the situation was.
Who would’ve thought I’d meet members of House Beaumont?
Though it looked as if a new adventure was coming our way.
5 days later
So here I was on day five not making any kind of improvement whatsoever.
I’ve tried talking to Tobias, but nothing worked to get through to him.
He acted as if nothing was wrong and there’s no part where he could lose his job. He’s been painted as the bad guy but doesn’t seem to care.
I got up this morning, let Bryce sleep in a little, as I went down to the pool to figure out a new strategy for how to fix this mess.
That’s when I saw Tobias flirting with a woman by the pool.
You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m trying to repair his image, and he’s out here flirting? Oh, hell no!
”Having fun?“ I asked when I stood next to him. Tobias turned his light green eyes to me, focusing on me rather than the woman he was just talking to a minute ago.
As if he wasn’t already good-looking enough, the smile he threw my way made his face even more beautiful.
”Good morning to you too, gorgeous.“
”Sorry buddy but that charm is wasted on me. I’m engaged and I’m expecting.“
”Does that mean I can’t flirt with you?“ Tobias smirked.
”You can. But it won’t have any effect.“ I said and took a towel from the rack and threw it at him.
”Get dressed.“ I said, and he took the towel, but didn't move. He threw an apologetic smile at the woman who was sitting next to him. She slipped him a small piece of paper and left. He watched her walk away and nodded his head in appreciation.
I cleared my throat, and he turned his gaze on me.
”Let me guess you have another glorious idea how to restore my image?“
”You can call it that. You have 10 minutes to get dressed and be back.“
”Let’s make it 15 alright?“ Tobias laughed.
”Now it’s 10 minutes.“
”Does that tone ever work on Bryce?“
”I’m not going to repeat myself.“
”Now you sound like a school teacher.“ He replied but got up. That’s progress I guess.
”Look, I was assigned to give you some sort of glowing makeover for your reputation. If you don’t want it? Fine. I have better things to do.“
Tobias stared back at me, his charm gone.
”Like what? Be all sunshiny? No offense, but don’t you ever have a bad day or get angry? In all the time you’ve been here you’re always smiling and never losing your cool. You’re more like a robot.“
His comment hit me more than I thought it would, so I got up in his face. Which is hard since he’s taller than me, but I made it work.
”Don’t mistake my bubbly personality for being just that. There’s a lot more to my character and my personality than being happy and positive. You don’t know me that well if your words are any indication.“
His eyes widened for a fraction.
”My bad.“
”And that was lesson number 12.“
Tobias rolled his eyes.
”What I don’t get is why they even assigned you to me? We’re polar opposites.“
”You know what’s interesting? In our whole convos, you’ve avoided talking about this whole incident that led up to this moment right now. You keep acting as if you don’t care, and it’s no concern of yours. But you avoid talking about the core problem.“
Tobias crossed his arm.
”Please enlighten me.“
”You’re not a bad guy. But you’d rather have people believe you’re a dick then let them think you have a heart. That’s interesting.“
”Are you done psychoanalyzing me?“ His voice sounded more and more irritated.
”If you think that we’re done? Then you don’t know me at all. We’re just getting started. Get dressed. And don’t be late. If you’re not down in 5 minutes I’m leaving. So dealers choice.“
”Fine, I'll go get dressed. Doesn’t mean this conversation is over.“
”Now it’s 9 minutes.“ I said and watched him quicken his steps while I sat down and enjoyed the nice view of the ocean.
10 minutes later…
”What is this place?“ He asked without really seeming to pay attention.
”It’s called a room. With walls and windows. And sometimes there’s even a door.“
He snickered.
”I know what a room is. I meant what are we doing in this room?“ He looked at all the cans of paint I had people assemble for this exercise.
”That’s the fun part. Team building exercise. It’s also pregnancy safe, which is a plus.“ I grinned, but he just looked at me and didn't reply.
”The point of this exercise is to let go of past hurts. Look at it this way, you can just let all your anger out. I like to call it angry painting.“
I take a can of paint, open it and see the color coral crush. I took it and threw some at the wall.
Tobias regarded me and I handed him another can, he took but stared at it as if it’s been touched by Medusa herself.
”Do you even know how to get angry?“ He looked at me skeptically as he kept holding the pint can in his hands.
”Excuse me?“
He opened the can of paint and a soft canary yellow joined the coral crush tone on the wall.
”Look, all you’ve said is how I have a heart and I don’t let others see it. But you don’t even know me. How do you expect me to trust you?“
”Is this finally the heart-to-heart you’re giving me? One that the others failed to get?“
”Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to partner up.“ He set the can down and was about to walk away.
”Giving up so soon? That’s a shame.“
”What?“ He stopped and slowly turned my way.
”I know you’re the type of guy who likes to do things rather than sit around and talk.“
”You’ve been paying attention? I’m shocked. Everybody knows I’m competitive, that's not a secret.“
”Of course I’ve been paying attention. You know I have bad days and angry moments too. I’m not just some blonde bimbo, who can’t count to three. I notice a lot more than people think.“
”Such as?“ He raised his eyebrows daringly as he leaned against the door frame.
”When you get nervous you bite your lip and clench your left fist. Which would lead me to believe you are left-handed.“
I kept going.
”Whenever I ask you a personal question or try to tackle the issue, you laugh it off, meaning you’re not ready to talk to me or improve your image. You think it’s fine and it doesn't need any polishing. If people don’t like you or think you’re a dick that’s on them.“
Tobias doesn’t say anything.
”I’d wager you’re someone who likes to do things his way or the highway. You don’t play well with others because you like to be in control. It’s hard for you to give anyone even an ounce of your trust because you believe trust is earned. You said it yourself I don’t know much about you, so why should you trust me? So did I get any of that right?“
Tobias didn’t say anything. He didn’t even move a muscle.
”Your silence indicates I got something right.“
”Even if you did get it right, it doesn’t mean I need your help.“
”So what you’d let your image get destroyed and let others decide on the narrative rather than trying to fix it? That doesn’t sound like the Tobias I got to know.“
”I can’t control what people think.“
”Maybe not. But you can let them see that there’s more to you. Do you know what I see right now?“
”What?“
”Someone who’s been hurt in the past, and now you’re hurt again. But you’re trying so hard to bury those feelings that you’re drowning in them.“
”Sounds like a therapy session.“ He mumbled.
”Art is therapy. Did you know I basically got bullied out of the art gallery I worked at in Boston?“
He shook his head. By the look in his eyes I could tell I got his attention.
”I had no idea, but I’m sorry to hear that. Why did you get fired?“
”I quit. I’ve been struggling with anxiety for years. And they’ve seen me as someone they can demean and push around. My voice was snuffed out. I’ve always seen art as freedom, choosing to make art work for you. Art has helped me find an outlet, find my voice. Let me be creative and put paint on a canvas when I can’t name my own feelings.“
He rubbed his neck as if uncomfortable by my word vomit.
”I had no idea. And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a dick. I just…“
”You needed to vent so you let it out on me. I get it. We all lash out when we’re angry. Usually at the people we’re close to.“
”But you seem so calm and composed. You and Bryce never even fight. You’re so perfect.“
I threw my head back and let out a laugh. Making it echo from the walls.
I turned back to Tobias who was looking at me as if I grew another head.
”Do you really believe that? Of course Bryce and I fight. We have disagreements all the time. But we’ve learned how to handle them. Even if we don’t speak to each other for days, it doesn't mean we hate each other. But it means hey I need space I’ll talk when I’ve cooled off. We found our rhythm. We love and understand each other.“
He sighed and sat down, leaning on the wall that was just covered with paint, he winced when he realized it, but he didn’t sit down somewhere else.
”What a mess I’ve created, but maybe you’re right.“
”I must have a fever, or did you just say I’m right?“ I grinned and he smiled back.
”No you heard me correctly. You’re right. I’m scared to end up alone. So that’s why I pushed Chloe away. The woman from the video. We’ve gotten pretty close, and I don't know I panicked. I mean whoever took the video had no right to do that, but I guess people judge me and say how I’m sleeping with her because I’d like to get to the top. But that’s not true. I like the job I have. I have no desire to work in an office. I love working with patients. Hearing them tell me what’s wrong and finding a way to make things better for them.“
”Could it be that you’re scared you won’t measure up? Wanting to prove others wrong? You’d rather be the one who ends a relationship rather than the one who gets his heart broken?“
”Yes to all of the above.“ He nodded.
”Alright. That’s something we can work on.“ I said with renewed energy.
”How? We can’t just fix this mess in a matter of days.“
I smiled softly at him.
”No. But we can slowly build towards improving. You know there is a Hawaiian proverb my grandma always uses: A’ Ohe Pu’u Ki’eki’e Ke Ho’a’o ‘Ia e Pi’i.“
”Uhh…meaning?“ He asked.
”No cliff is so tall it cannot be climbed.“
”I kinda like that phrase.“ He said thoughtfully.
”Yeah it’s beautiful. You know what else? You’re not broken. It just means you haven’t figured out the right formula. I don’t want to turn you into someone you’re not. I just want you to realize that if you keep pushing people away who’d like to be in your life you’ll end up all alone. And that’s not what I want for you. You’re smart, funny and good-looking. Don’t let it go to waste.“
Tobias shook his head as grinned at me.
”You know? Now I understand why Bryce fell for you.“
I grinned at him.
”I told you so. There’s more to me than you might think.“
”I can see that. Also, please tell me I’m not the only one you boss around. At least tell me you do that to Bryce too.“
”Oh trust me I do.“ I laughed again because it felt as if we reached a good point. And I’m glad I could get him to open up.
I can see a big grin forming on Tobias face and I already knew there’s something snarky coming.
”Also I did get something right on the first try.“ He grinned.
”Let me guess how to do sex right.“ I sighed.
”No. It was actually how to pick friends. Maybe after we solve this mess I can try and restore some of my friendships.“
”You got this Carrick.“ I slapped his arm.
”Now you sound like Lahela.“
I winked at him.
”Now what?“ He asked after getting up.
”Now we slowly improve your image. With me by your side things can only get better.“ He laughed out loud and we continued to throw paint at the wall. We might’ve not solved everything, but we’re getting there.
#choicesprompts#roundrobin#TRR & OH#Luna Auclair (F!OC)#Bryce Lahela (M!MC)#Tobias Carrick (M!MC)#Maxwell Beaumont#Bertrand Beaumont
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Chapters: 1/?
Fandom: Rook & Rose - M. A. Carrick
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Ren/Grey Serrado (Rook & Rose), Ren/Grey Serrado/Derossi Vargo (Rook & Rose)
Characters: Ren (Rook & Rose), Grey Serrado (Rook & Rose), Derossi Vargo
Summary:
The primordials are gone from the world, and they are rebuilding a Nadežra that reflects all the people who live there. Vargo's no longer a nobleman, but he has a seat on the Setterat, and he can help change the city from more than the bottom up. He should be happy. But mostly, he's lonelier than he's been in more than a decade. Luckily, those closest to him have noticed, and Ren and Grey have some ideas about how to reconnect with him.
#rook and rose#mask of mirrors#the liars knot#labyrinths heart#ma carrick#renata viraudax#grey serrado#derossi vargo#m/m/f#rook and rose spoilers
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The Grad Life - day 45/50 (08/12/23)
Today really summed up “you win some, you loose some”. Waited ages for the bus, had a lovely breakfast at work, lots of nice chats, my laptop had issues and spent all morning calling IT, finished a good slide deck, had samosas for lunch, had to go to another office to get my IT fixed, caught some friendly faces there. Plus got a cupcake discounted to 79p (was delicious).
#questwithambition#studyblr#studyspo#books#the grad life#currently reading#the liars knot#the rook and the rose#m a carrick#dark academia#bookblr#aesthetic
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youtube
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is there anyone here who has read the Rook and Rose series. please. I'm 70% through the second book and I need to scream with someone about my Ren/Grey feelings.
if you haven't heard of these books at all PLEASE READ THEM OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO SO SO GOOD THIS IS A FANTASY YA BOOK SERIES WHERE THEY ARE ACTUALLY YOUNG ADULTS AND NOT 16 YEAR OLDS AND THE LORE AND HISTORY AND MAGIC IS SO DEEP AND INTERESTING AND THE C H A R A C T E R S OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS WRITTEN SO WELL
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Derossi Vargo will say "I don't care about anyone, I only do things for my own gain because I'm a selfish man and all I desire is power," while he is pushing himself to the brink of death to save his friends, his town, and everyone inside its walls and I love that for him
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Took me 4 days of cancelling ALL my plans, & pretending to work, but finally finished both books of The Rook and The Rose.
The Liars Knot especially, was so engaging, I literally couldn't put it down! DEFINITELY the right decision to give Vargo more story.
Now, I have a single prayer: Can I have more Iascat??!! I mean him&Vargo, SHIP IT, but also just him as a character....that scene on the barge was sooo 😍 cute, I just want more of his babyboyness, but also him being badASS!!!
Could I also have more Giuna and Tess? And OH-MY-GODD Varuni!!!!!! ❤️
#the liar's knot#the rook and the rose#the mask of mirrors#the liars knot#ma carrick#m a carrick#rook and the rose#books#book series#booklover#bookblr#lgbtqia#lgbtq books#rook and rose#derossi vargo
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Huge thank you to the amazing @bayleedrawsx for this beautiful commission of my and @jerzwriter's Choices OTPs! I only asked for a (silly) art of the MCs catching snowflakes with their tongues and their LIs looking at them lovingly.. And she turned the idea into this masterpiece! 🥰
I hope you love it just as much as I do, E! 😊 Since PB (and Open Heart in particular) played the integral part in us becoming friends in the first place, I thought it was only right to include Tobias and Casey in this commission alongside Bryce and Joshua. I like to think of this piece as a little parallel universe in which our MCs would be friends despite not having much in common - just like the two of us, lol.
Submission for @choicesjanuarychallenge day 24 "friends"
#My Commission#Choices fanart#bayleedrawsx#open heart fanart#Choices Open Heart#Choices Oph#playchoices art#Playchoices#Bryce Lahela x MC#Bryce x M!MC#Tobias Carrick x MC#choices stories you play#pixelberry#pixelberry studios
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Installation shots of “The Venusians” at Come Again in Berlin, pt. 2
The Venusians
9 Sept—22 Oct 2022
Artists: Jesse Bransford, Elijah Burgher, Oliver Coran, Keturah Cummings,
Frank Haines, Sholem Krishtalka, Anwar Mahdi, David Anaya Maya, Genesis Breyer P-Orridge, Annie Sprinkle & Beth Stephens, Ryan M. Pfeiffer + Rebecca Walz, Timothy Wyllie
Organized by Berlin-based artists Elijah Burgher and carrick bell, The Venusians is presented by New Discretions, New York + Sean Horton (Presents), New York + Wester Exhibitions, Chicago.
Venus is thought by astrologers to influence those zones of human experience over which the planet’s namesake Goddess is sovereign: love, intimacy, attraction, beauty, pleasure, luxury and the good life. Alchemically, Venus corresponds to copper, which was used for mirrors in the ancient world for its high reflectiveness when polished. Indeed, the goddess is frequently depicted at her toilette, gazing at her reflection while tending her appearance. A mixture of self-care and vanity are amongst her attributes, as well then. The roman goddess and her Greek counterpart, Aphrodite, are not the only goddesses of antiquity identified with the planet: Inanna, Ishtar, Astarte and other Queens of Heaven preceded them. The Sumerian goddess Inanna’s journey into the underworld was a mythic translation of a visible, celestial fact: periodically Venus goes retrograde and appears to be moving backwards in the sky. (Interestingly, Venus spins in an opposite direction to the other planets in our solar system, so it could be said she rotates in a retrograde manner.) Inanna’s descent is not only instructive in terms of the planet’s rich history of religious symbolism, but also implicates the negative valence of these goddesses’ principal attribute. Love is not only a matter of joy, romance and sex but also jealousy, infidelity, grief and even murderous rage.
In bringing together this sundry group of artists and dubbing them “Venusians,” we highlight certain threads that connect them and to which the goddess holds the reigns: sexuality, beauty and magick. Venusians, as we define them, draw out the electrical potentials of the sexual body. Elements of sex magick and other rituals, both self-invented and received, find the body unfurling as a tether between cosmic and terrestrial spheres, fellow humans, and non-human and natural participants. Some works represent these practices. Others actively function as elements of ongoing ritual, or are remnants of previously performed ritual acts. Beauty is paramount whether it is a matter of esoteric order, aesthetic expertise or reconceived through challenge or negation. In any case, those electrical potentials must be circulated through an object that conducts those energies to viewers, recasting them as candidates for seduction or religious conversion or taunting them as suspiciously disinterested anthropologists. Those are the stakes. Venusians seek connection that goes beyond mere discourse.
#venusians#venus#aphrodite#venus cazimi#come again#elijah burgher#ghost vomit#sholem krishtalka#genesis breyer p-orridge#annie sprinkle#beth stephens#rebecca walz#ryan m. pfeiffer#rebecca walz + ryan m. pfeiffer#carrick bell#keturah cummings#frank haines#anwar mahdi#david anaya maya#oliver coran#timothy wyllie#jesse bransford
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