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wheresmymilliondollarman · 1 year

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aaron warner x ferrars! reader pt. 3

when omega point falls, you find yourself in need of the supreme commander's son, and discover unresolved feelings along the way.

(taken place during ignite me & hc continuation from part two)

that is literally me in this gif y'all🖤🖤

a/n: hello!! finally back with part 3. i'm sorry for the wait, i wanted to do other requests, but tbh i might focus on this little series so that way it's complete and everyone can read it all together. also idk why i even label it hcs anymore LMAOO like i feel it's progressed to a fic atp, but i'm too stubborn to change my format and titles, so humor me LOL. (maybe i'll turn this into a legit fic when i finish, who knows) pls do not kill me for not including every detail, i tried to highlight the best parts as much as i could. also might seem all sunshine rainbows rn with relationships, but just wait for the next book… 🤞 extra info: kinda change adam's character cus i feel like he was an extra ass at times for no reason in the book?? like trying to kill kenji for no reason?? small redemption arc. kinda slight change to juliette. also, i love making reader, juliette, and kenji a lil trio.

word count: 10.7k (im insane)

warnings: mentions of fights, blood, injuries, and death. use of military time (reader so me fr bc it took me so long to understand that shit), suggestive and matureish content.

the first thing on your mind, when you woke up, is that you had to be dead. if you opened your eyes, you would see the golden gates of heaven or the fiery pit of hell. based on how you lived your short life: you were thinking hell.

you realized you were alive and mostly well from the horrible aching from your body, the bandages wrapped around your chest, and the fact your current surrounding was a bedroom.

"hey, amor, take it easy." a voice said as you attempted to sit up.

by your side was aaron warner, sitting down on a stool next to the bed you laid on. he, uncharacteristically, looked disheveled, his clothes messy, and his eyes anxious.

your panic arose as you remembered events - fighting against the reestablishment, then getting caught, and then being shot in the chest by anderson. and then you recognized the room; it was aaron's bedroom - back at the base.

aaron notices your alarm and grabs your hands to calm you down. "it's alright you're safe here, i'm not gonna hurt you."

it may have been an idiotic move, but you believed his words.

"why are we here?"

"i had no choice. everyone believes your dead, and the base is the best place to keep you hidden."

"i don't understand...i'm not a medic by any means, but shouldn't i be dead?"

"you have sara and sonya to thank for that. they were able to save your heart from stopping before being dragged away by my father. then, i was able to take their energy as my own and heal the rest of you."

you were thankful for his aid in your life being saved, but you were too focused on many other worries to properly thank him. like the state of your friends.

you try your hand at getting up, trying to ignore the dizziness that comes with it. aaron holds you steady to stop you from falling.

aaron protests, "you need to res-" but you interrupt, "i need to go. i-i have to find everyone and help them."

"you can't."

you stop your movement and turn to aaron, "what do you mean? i know i'm in horrible shape, but i have to see juliette and everyone else could be in troubl-"

"it's over."

your face scrunches up in confusion, "what?"

aaron's silent for a few movements; you can't breathe. he looks down, his grip on you tightening, "they're dead. all of them."

you look at him in horror, your mouth open, but no words are released. your knees give out, and Aaron carries your full weight in his arms.

he slowly brings you both down to the ground next to the bed, still holding onto you. "i'm sorry, please believe me when i say that. if there was a way to spare you of this pain i would do it in a heartbeat."

you feel like a shell of yourself, you have no reaction, just an emotionless look on your face.

"what happened?" you say in a monotone voice.

"amor, i think you need to lay down or shower, then eat some-"

"what happened," you repeat with a harsher voice.

"they... overtook your friends, some were taken to be tortured, but most were.. shot dead."

"and omega point?"

"....destroyed. they got the coordinates and bombed the entire foundation."

you feel disconnected from reality; nothing feels real. everything is numb; you can't find it in yourself to let out any sort of emotion.

"so juliette, kenji, adam, james..."

aaron didn't need to answer for you to know. they're gone.

the first thing you did was laugh like a lunatic, aaron likely looked at you like you were mad. then finally, the tears came.

you yelled at aaron to get out, even though it was his room. in hysteria, you started levitating things and throwing them at him until he exited the room.

you don't know how long you spent sobbing on the floor next to the bed. you weren't even sure if you were going to stop.

your voice was sore from the number of times you wailed apologies to juliette for being a bad sister and for not being there to protect your friends.

when the tears finished, you reached denial. you knew your friends - there was no way they were dead. juliette was stronger than you, physically and sometimes mentally, so if you could survive a bullet to the chest, your sister could be alive.

when aaron comes back hours later to check on you, he didn't expect to see you walking around in new attire, packing clothes and items into a bag.

"what are you doing?"

"i have to go back."

aaron was taken aback by your statement, but you claimed there was a possibility there were people who survived. he countered saying he'd seen the damage and it wasn't likely. you didn't listen to him and continued preparing.

"this is unhealthy and possibly delusional thinking."

"well, then put me back in the asylum if i'm wrong. i'm going if you let me or not."

he sighs, and then gives in, not before insisting he comes along with you. now you were the one taken aback. was he actually offering to help you?

"why do you seem surprised? it's not as if i haven't made my care for you quite clear."

"no offense, but you're the most confusing man ever. i want to trust you, i've seen your good-natured side. you even claim to.. love me. but you work for the reestablishment, but then claim to be on my side. don't forget the fact you tried to turn juliette and i into weapons for the reestablishment, held us, hostage, at your base, and put us into a torture chamber. not exactly behavior that screams i want to help you."

at this he laughs then laughs harder and you get annoyed, not knowing what was funny. you were ready to kick him out again until he finally stooped.

"i suppose i owe you a long overdue explanation."

nothing prepared you for his next words. aaron began to retell the events from his perspective. starting with his true intentions of bringing you and juliette from the asylum - to study the both of you.

aaron explained his mother's condition, being unable to be touched - a reverse juliette basically. he sought out her at first, then discovered your existence and became intrigued more.

he invented the guise of using you both for weapons as a way for his father to agree to invest in you both.

as anderson mentioned before, juliette was of special interest because of her ability, and yours wasn't as impressive to him at the time. aaron had to convince the commander that your mind reading ability would be great for spy purposes.

once he brought the two of you to the base, he was ready to face 2 vicious and demented sisters, but it was literally the opposite of that. instead he got stuck with two stubborn and immature, you were offended at that, teenage girls.

"juliette was more of the hard-headed one, you mostly just followed along, i figured that out after the dinner and dress stunt. however, i can't say feeding you myself wasn't pleasurable for myself."

aaron saw your fear of your own ability and had intentions to help you and juliette, in his own way.

his tried various ways to unlock your potential - with juliette he tried anger and bullying and with you he knew you couldn't suppress hearing thoughts, so he figured spending time with you was the best option. but he came to understand how much he loved being around you.

"i was so addicted to being around you, i got sidetracked. but then my worry grew when you both showed no progress on enhancing your ability, so as a last resort, i arranged an experiment."

to your surprise, he revealed it was actually a simulation which was a major relief to you that no one was actually harmed by your powers, well, no one besides warner. but he partly deserved it for putting you through that.

although you were mad he implanted that fear into you, you had to admit. it did work.

"so, instead of finding some way to inform me earlier of all this, you make my sister and i think of you as some supervillain who wanted control of our autonomy." you grab the nearest pillow and launch it at him. "you're an idiot! we were scared out of our minds! juliette and i's last conversation was a fight over that! do you know much much time you could- are you seriously smiling?"

"god, i love it when you yell at me."

now that the ait was clear, you were able to put more of your faith into aaron and his intentions. and not feel bad about kissing him.

the two of you worked together on a plan to get you back to what was left of omega point.

you met an older gentleman by the name of delalieu. he was very sweet, but it got a little vexing every time he jumped to warner's defense whenever you made a remark; even ones said in levity.

a few days later, when aaron deemed it safer, you both set off to leave. although you had the misfortune of having to be stuffed into a cart to avoid being spotted. at least it was better than the body bag you were transported in the first time.

the two of you transported to what was left of omega point in a tank. aaron notably was able to drive to the location with ease. you grew suspicious because one - he told his father he didn't know how to get there and two - he was unconscious the whole time you, juliette, kenji, and adam drove there. you decide to question him on the matter.

"i wasn't completely unconscious on the trip there. i was very conscious when you were touching my hair and tracing my features."

"i knew it! you little faker, you intentionally pushed yourself onto me didn't you!"

when you both arrived, the scene was as horrible as you imagined. - rubbles and dust everywhere and a huge gaping hole miles down. you felt sick thinking about everyone who stayed behind, including james. god, you hoped at least your friends were alright.

you were suddenly tackled to the ground by warner, and the sound of a gunshot followed after. a voice yelled out, and you immediately recognized it - kenji.

you got up instantly and ran to him, attacking him with a gigantic hug, tears brimming at your eyes.

"oh my god, i thought you were dead!"

"i thought you were dead!"

"you almost killed me right now when you shot at us like a lunatic!"

"sorry, i was aiming for warner- where'd he go?"

you change subject, "juliette? is she alright?"

kenji confirms she is alive, and you felt like you could breathe again. you needed to see her as soon as possible.

kenji started looking for warner like a madman, and you, too, were curious about his whereabouts - until he startled you by "showing" up behind you. he had turned himself invisible.

he was ready to take you both back before kenji shot him, but you declined to say you had to see juliette and anyone else that survived. aaron was reluctant but then handed you a pager, not that you knew what it was, and gave you a limit of four hours. you thought it to be ridiculous, but you compromised to ease his worries.

you and kenji ventured back to adam's house, your first time being there since you were unable to the first time around. he, heart-achingly, filled you in on the events, how they searched for you, how many were lost, and who remained. you told your side of the action, including everything with aaron.

kenji did have some judgemental comments, but you understood he was reeling from the shock of everything, especially from the details regarding aaron.

you bite your tongue when kenjii speaks ill of warner. defending him would only make you look naive, plus you couldn't deny the others had their reasoning for disliking the guy. you would end up sounding like delalieu.

"so what, you like the guy now? god, don't tell me your gullible enough to fall for it just because he's the first guy to show interest in you."

his words cut deep into you, but you don't respond and change the subject back to getting to the house. you didn't want to argue after being so happy kenji is alive. but damn did you want to give him a shove with your powers.

your spirits lifted as soon as you reached the destination. you pull kenji to the front door and urge him to open it. he knocks and confirms his identity before it's opened by winston, who was shocked to see you.

you greeted him quickly, feeling bad, but your main focus was your sister. next you see alia, castle, brendan, lily and alia. (all frozen to their spots as soon as they noticed you). when you see james you give him a tight hug, thankful for his well-being.

adam and juliette walked out of the kitchen engaged in conversation, not noticing you at first. then kenji drew their attention with a cough.

both of you were paralyzed at first; you were the first to break and jump at her with tears and an overbearing hug. she was quick to return it, then the both of you started crying in relief to see each other after thinking the other was dead.

"i'm so sorry for how we ended things, you had a right to be upset and i was a bad sister for not taking your feelings into account. "

"no, i'm the one who overreacted. i should've came with you the moment you told me you felt something was wrong."

"okay we get it elsa and anna; you're both very happy to see each other. please, no more tears."

you both pulled away, laughing softly at your dramatics. you turned and gave adam a much quicker hug, him happy to see you breathing.

with greeting out of the way, everyone's attention was turned back to you, particularly how you survived. you took a deep breath, and retold everything you told kenji, leaving out intimate details about aaron and you. everyone reacted similarly to the way kenji had.

the room then filled with different questions and thoughts, all voices one another, reminding you of listening to different people's thoughts at the same time. they all started assuming the worst in warner, and this time you did defend him - but it only made you look guilty.

the subject turned over to what was the next plan of action. castle was out of it, so he provided no help. adam was the first to protest any sort of fight, his concern for james overshadowing. juliette was on the fence about it for adam's sake, but you knew she wanted to fight against the reestablishment like everyone else, if not more. especially after all they had put the two of you through.

the conversation barely got past arguments before the front door was suddenly brought down. everyone, besides you, held up weapons to attack the intruder - you held up your hands, ready to use your power if necessary. but then you recognized the intruder quickly - aaron.

you ran over in front of him and advised everyone to stand down, but they didn't listen, they were too focused on the fact aaron had arrived.

you readied yourself to lower their weapons yourself, but then aaron made a move of his own and flung all the guns across the room with levitation.

"i was gonna do that.." you mumbled quietly to yourself.

"apologies, amor, i'll let you get them next time."

everyone else was stunned, you explained aaron's gift, but it was still a shock to see. a few banters are exchanged, but aaron, uncaring as ever, ignores them and proceeds to grab your arm so the two of you can leave. however, you stop him, not wanting to leave on bad terms.

you informed everyone that aaron was on your side, and they were understandably doubtful to believe it, but as they noticed how he acted with you, it became more believable.

you took the chance to try to persuade everyone to stand up again against the rebellion. juliette and kenji were the first to side with you, and slowly everyone followed along, adam and ian being the ones more reluctant. you could respect adam for thinking of james and juliette, and ian was just an asshole, but he was also mourning. in a turn of events, castle chimed in with his support.

aaron, not thrilled about the new members of your alliance, announced the two of you would be leaving. juliette protested, not wanting to be away from you after she just got you back.

part of you longed to lay on the comfortable bed back at the base, but you needed to stay with your team. so, you made an agreement aaron could return for you the next day.

"so i'll come back for you tomorrow? thirteen hundred hours."

"thirteen hundred hours? like from now?"

"it means one o'clock."

"... one o'clock is not thirteen hundred hours from now."

aaron was holding back a laugh, juliette was just as confused, and kenji physically facepalmed.

aaron eventually left after you reassured him you'd be fine. ian was of no help as he kept insulating it was better if you left. adam stormed off not long after, juliette following to calm him. she returned looking dejected and assumed she and adam fought. kenji suggested the three of you go out for a walk, although it was late.

during the night stroll, all three of you got emotions off your chest. kenji's feelings about the whole situation, juliette's issues with adam (they were still technically broken up) , and your turmoil with warner. kenji was somewhat holding back, but you knew he was just trying to hold up a strong facade.

as you disclosed your confusion and feelings, kenji had many questions, from disbelief, and juliette mainly just patiently listened and remained silent.

"so you like the guy, for what his personality? totally has nothing to do with his looks?

"hey, i'm not shallow! ...aaron just happens to be gifted with excellent looks."

"hearing you call him aaron is so weird. and i'm not judging you if you did. seeing adam shirtless is probably what drew juliette to him at the start."

"hey!"

the light banter made the solemn conversation easier to talk through. it was nice to be always from everything for a bit, and just act like friends.

you three returned back, kenji walked to the door first, and juliette grabbed your wrist to stop you from following him.

"i just want to talk to you alone real quick. about warner,.. or aaron, whatever you call him."

you held your breath, partly ready for her to possibly start another argument.

"i know you're confused about what you feel for him still, but i need you to know if you decide you love him - i'll support you. i don't want it to get in the way our bond. after everything that's happened... i realized there no time to waste on petty little things, especially about guys. all that should matter is we're always here for each other."

you give each other another heartfelt and tearful hug; glad kenji wasn't there to comment on how sappy and emotional it is.

"so, just between us sisters, do you think you love him?"

you laugh, and open the truth of your heart of her.

back inside, you all prepared for him or, as aaron called it a "slumber party." wasn't too far off since everyone besides james, adam, and castle slept on the ground.

your place was between kenji and juliette, each of you having your own pillow and blanket. winston and brendan bantered a bit about kicking faces before the turns finally went out.

"kenji, i know it will be incredibly hard, but keep your hands to yourself."

"you wish. you should be telling your sister that, she's basically all over me every night."

"shut up."

the next day brought a lot of drama. the day started off late, leaving little time to discuss before aaron arrived. another fight between adam and juliette set off. the issue being that aaron was coming back, which adam was completely against. he had been fine with your stay, but he wouldn't compromise for letting him return. adam gave an ultimatum, if you brought warner he would essentially kick you out.

juliette went to your defense and partly aaron's for your benefit. this only set off adam more. kenji tried his hand at intervening but only got backlash from adam, who stormed off outside after. everyone else stayed quiet, but you could tell one or two silently agreed with adam.

you didn't wanna stir any more trouble than needed, so you started preparing yourself to go, clicking the little mechanism aaron gave you a couple times to ensure it worked.

brendan, winston, castle, lily insisted you stay as well. james also gave a small plead for you to remain. juliette believed she could still talk some sense into adam.

it felt great to have their support, but at the same time, you felt bad for having to divide everyone into teams, yours or adam's. instead of building a team, you were tearing one apart.

before you knew it, the newly fixed door was again slammed open by the same intruder from the day before. aaron barged in, almost of breath and distressed. you thought something happened to him because of how disarranged he looked.

he locked his gaze on you and speedily grabbed you in his arms, cupping your face and scanning you up and down for any injuries. you were a bit embarrassed as everyone was a witness to aaron fussing over your well-being.

"did you run here?"

"of course, you beeped the pager."

you assured him you were alright and turned back to everyone with faces of incredulity.

"woah, this is... freaky." winston began.

"i worked for this guy for more than a year and never even saw him smile."

you explained to aaron that you couldn't stay at the house any longer but couldn't leave everyone else either. he offers to have them stay in the training area, but kenji declines, needing a better offer. juliette sides with kenji, the rest don't fully trust warner, so they need reassurance.

you couldn't bare the thought of leaving everyone again, so you pleaded to aaron to give in to their demands, willing to compromise whatever. you were happy and a little shocked, along with everyone else, when he accepted the terms.

"i'll return tomorrow at fourteen hundred ho-" he sees your confused face again, "2 o'clock. i really must educate you on military time, amor"

"or you could just say the time on a clock like the average person."

aaron takes your hand and guides you back to the tank to make your way back to the base before anyone notes his disappearance.

you express your gratitude for his help, and he responds by saying there's not need, he would do whatever to ease your pain. he also partly owed it to you for being so dismissive when you believed your friends were alive.

"i know they all judge you right now, and maybe they always will. but, i do believe you're a good person, and sure, you have flaws, but who doesn't - i am certainly no saint. i don't want to fix you...just want to make you see yourself in a better light like i do." your final words before falling into a slumber against the window.

you return back to the base the way you came in with delalieu's help. your both back in aaron's room, not having said a word to each other since the tank. aaron's started to ask questions about what had happened back at adam's house. you briefly told him about the drama about adam not wanting you there if you were with warner.

aaron became upset, not liking how adam treated you, and reassured you he would harm him if you wanted him to. you quickly assure him that you didn't care about it, you weren't going to beg to stay where you weren't wanted. you were mostly concerned about what it had done to whatever relationship was left between juliette and adam. she obviously loved him, but she couldn't hold herself back for him either.

you go silent at the mention of juliette, remembering your last private conversation. aaron, being able to easily feel your emotions, pick up and it and presses for information.

"it's just.. she asked me if i loved you."

aaron's breath hitches, "what was your response."

"i told her, 'love is a strong word. i'm not even sure i fully understand it. but i think...no i know. i'm falling for him.' "

aaron didn't respond, he got up and went to his office, shutting the door behind him. you weren't sure what it meant. and you didn't see him for the rest of the day.

you couldn't sleep that night; your mind was doing circles in anticipation of the group's arrival tomorrow.

you got up with the intention of solely getting a glass of water, but then heard a loud noise come from the direction aaron's office.

wanting to make sure he was okay, you walked in without notice. the door was already halfway open, so you figured it was alright.

the room was bigger than your childhood home's living room; it was filled with different seats of furniture, books, shelf, etc. aaron was at his large desk - his shirt discarded and only wearing slacks and socks.

aaron's brushes you off, telling you to go to bed, but your focus is on a small jar in his hands. you ask what it is, but he avoids answering, so you grab the object yourself. he attempts to get it from you, but you move away - deja vu to when aaron wouldn't return your journal to you. it felt nice to be on the flip side of it for once.

you read the label and understood it was a medicine. then it clicked; it was for his scars. and he was embarrassed about it. it was kind of cute.

he confirms it's for his back, so you nicely offer to do it for him since he seemed to have trouble reaching it. he was obviously self-conscious no matter how much he denied it, and you told him it didn't matter; you'd already seen them. but he kept turning his back away from you. you were getting suspicious that the scars were only part of the reason he was hiding.

you got annoyed and impulsively used your power to keep him sat and finally make his back face you. you could apologize later.

then you saw it. yes, his scars were still there, but on top of that were your wonky star doodles. the ones you drew in his cells two weeks ago in his cell at omega point.

you were confused about how they were still there, darker than you remember. the pen you used was lousy; you would know since you used it to write and the ink always smudged. the pen ink was also blue, and this was black. the skin around it was also freshly red.

"wait.. is this tattooed?"

his silence confirmed it. you were speechless. he tattooed your silly little doodles. he needed the medicine to numb the pain of the ink.

"why would you do this?"

"figured it your mark was better than the ones my dad left me."

"aaron."

"it was the first time i looked at my back and smiled."

you think your heart burst on the spot.

"god, i would've made them better if i knew you were gonna mark it."

"they're perfect." god, you were ready to melt.

you compose yourself and insist you put on the medicine since it was your tattoo design that's causing him slight pain. he didn't protest this time. you applied it in silence, then worked up the courage to ask about his scars.

aaron was very hesitant, you were ready to be shut down, but then he opened up to you. his scars being a 'birthday gift' from his father. it was heartbreaking to hear and almost brought tears to your eyes, but you knew pity was the last thing he wanted.

"when you saw them back in my cell, i waited to see that look of repulse on your face, but it never came. you observed them so carefully like they were the most interesting thing to you. then you had the gall to say it was similar to abstract art."

"well, it's true. they're not ugly, and you're certainly not repulsive. the scars are like a show of strength for everything you've been through. they're yours; only you decide what they represent. anyone who thinks differently is a total loser."

"please, stop."

"i'm sorry, did i say something wr-"

"i love you. so much that the first thing i did when returning here after escaping omega point was getting delalieu to tattoo my skin because your marks faded. i didn't even let myself wash off in fear they'd disappear before i got a chance to preserve them. i couldn't wipe the smile off my face whenever i looked at it through a mirror. it always reminded me of you. our moments. our last kiss. i burn for you greatly, and you don't even realize it."

"aaron..."

"don't."

"you know how i feel. but i'm still figuring it out, this is all new to me, and i want to get to know you better-"

"please. just go." and you did.

the following day, right on schedule, aaron goes to pick up the group while you stay behind waiting in the training facility that he briefly gave you a tour of.

the group arrived, and you happily greeted them as they looked around the place in awe. aaron began to go over rules and boundaries for the group. after the previous night, you were unsure about where you stood with warner, so you decided to give him some space and stand with the rest of the group. as he spoke, he threw not-so subtle glances your way, making you confused about whether he was upset with you or not.

aaron ventured off, everyone was setting up their items, and you separated with kenji and juliette. they book had look more distressed upon their arrival. apparently, juliette took one last chance to try and convince adam to come along, he didn't budge, saying he had to protect james and encouraged juliette to stay as well. it resulted in an argument; eventually, he respected her decision to fight - but it would mean the end for them. you comforted your sister through her heartbreak, adam had been a big part of her life, even a bit of yours. so to say goodbye must've been hard for her.

kenji also tried to persuade adam, but it escalated, and the two started throwing harsh words at each other. you knew adam was his friends, whether they both acknowledged it or not, and after omega point, you were sure kenji didn't want to lose anyone else. leaving james behind made it worse.

the direction of conversation then turned to you, and you were originally going to deny any conflict, but kenji and juliette picked up on the tension between you and aaron.

juliette starts, "so, what happened with warner?"

"don't know what you mean."

kenji and juliette give each other a mutual glance, " we aren't blind; the guy kept looking at you as if you'd killed his puppy. like seriously, there could've been a rain cloud over him with how much he was sulking."

you opened up to the happenings of last night, leaving out too personal information about warner, and how you weren't sure what to do now. kenji lost his mind at the bit about the tattoo, this new side of warner still weirding him out.

"i thought you were into him?"

"i mean, i am. it's just all so confusing. i'm not trying to string him along, i just want to truly know him before i could want more with him. it feels like he knows every single thing about me, while i'm barely starting to paint a picture. or maybe he only thinks he loves me or he's only interested in me because of my gift."

"dude, everything he has done for us so far is all because of you. what kind of guy tattoo's a stupid drawing someone drew on their back? and i swear he gets cartoon heart eyes when he looks at you too long. i know i called you naive for believing it, but that was before i saw first hand how intimate his feelings are for you."

"he's right, y/n. think about if he only cared about your gift, he would've been treating us the same, after all, he brought both of us in. sure, he acts decent towards me, but i'm pretty sure it has more to do with the fact we're sisters. you don't play nice with someone's family unless you really like them."

you were silent as you absorbed both their perspectives.

kenji sighs, "damn, i need a love life."

"interested in someone else."

"technically single, but i'd choose the asylum over you."

"i'm starting to miss when you both were meek and quiet."

after that friendly therapy session, you regained your focus on the important task, formulating a plan to overtake anderson. you had a few ideas, some you talked about with aaron, but a seventeen-year-old girl can only do so much on her own, so that's why you bring in your sister, who is also seventeen. as the two of you went through essentially the same trauma, she had as much right to be a big part of this as you.

aaron came back hours later, and everyone gathered around and took a seat somewhere. to your surprise, aaron sat down right the to you. the tension is so much worse side by side. knowing aaron could read what you felt didn't make it better.

you began to illustrate the details of the plan, juliette helping fill in and explain points. the goal is to get anderson to sector 45; to do that, you had to take over sector 45. getting people and soldiers to rebel was going to be the trickiest part, and much of the group wasn't on board that it could work.

"we're going to have to show them our strengths, i'll help them see our strength." you explain.

"and if they shoot us?" ian counters..

juliette shrugs, "then don't do it, i'm sure my sister and i are capable of being amazing by ourselves."

"real humble , j."

brendan speaks up, "so, we've got somewhat of a synopsis of juliette's gift, but, no offense y/n, what is it you can do besides read minds?"

it was true; almost everyone wasn't aware of other capabilities you possessed. you didn't like to divulge your gift much back at omega point, kenji, juliette, and castle knowing the most. unlike juliette, who had many different events where she showed her amazing strength, and you were sure they saw more when she practiced at adam's house while you were separated.

you briefly revealed more about your powers, mind-reading, telekinesis, and your ongoing training in telepathic defense. you admitted to losing control a few times as well. the group looked more amazed as you went on.

"prove it."

"yeah, c'mon dude, show us."

everyone else started egging you on to make a show of your powers; you even saw aaron look interested in wanting to see it. you gave in, and asked aaron for permission to throw some objects around, he nodded.

you started levitating different objects and throwing a few around. kenji started begging for you to lift him, so you did - then winston and brendan kept begging to go next. you showcased a small shield of energy you were able to produce. lastly, they wanted to see your telepathic projection, but you explained it would involve harming one of them, so you shut it down.

"so like, you can do all that too right? since you can steal powers?" winston questions warner.

"yes, if i wanted to i could take hers, or any of your powers and use it."

you cough into your hand, "no one's better than the original, though."

"so the two of you together can basically can..."

"take over the world?"

"...was going to say kick serious ass, but you're not wrong."

warner doesn't respond, but you can see him holding back a smile.

the thought of warner taking powers was eerie to the group, but you reassured them of your faith and trust in aaron. then the conversation redirects to the plan. castle questions of what is supposed to happen if you do win, such as who is going to lead.

"i will." juliette pulls you by the arm next to her, "and y/n will help me."

the room falls silent. even warner is still. your head snaps to your sister, that was not a topic the two of you discussed. nor did you know it was up for discussion. you, of course, didn't express your surprise, you couldn't show doubt when this whole meeting relied on trust. juliette's speech on the new world motivated everyone to follow through with the battle plan, you silently supported it, but in your mind, you didn't think it was the best idea for you both to lead a whole country. you think juliette forgets just how young and inexperienced you both are.

but you were sure this was a problem that could be mended later, right?

aaron and you were alone in his room again, the silence so deafening, you mentally cringed. you attempted to start the conversation on his thoughts about the plan, but he began to brush you off. frustrated, you call him out on his recent behavior.

"why is it all or nothing with you? i didn't reject you- all i said was i want to know you better, i saw you in a bad light for a good while. i want to see the positive just as much."

"or maybe you're just expecting too much from me."

"why are you being so stubborn!"

"because you being disgusted with what you learn, would end me."

he walked out after, a common occurrence, it seemed, these past days.

you vented all your frustrations into training the next day. you told yourself you wouldn't focus on warner, no matter how good he looked in sweatpants, and instead use your pent-up energy to master your powers.

it paid off well; you got closer to creating a shield. but maybe a little too well, since you accidentally launched kenji across the room with your energy force. he got you back off, turning invisible and tripping you. juliette concentrated on moving her dumbbell with the force of will, but she struggled. reminded you a lot of your training at omega point. you offered her tips on what worked for you, and kenji coached.

at some point, you went to the back to drink from your water bottle, unintentionally near where warner was bench pressing. then suddenly you heard someone yell 'get down'. it all happened in a flash, you turned around a bit late, and the rock wall behind you came crumbling down at you. you quickly attempted to lift your hands, levitate most of the impact and braced yourself. suddenly, instead of your body colliding with dozen of sharp rocks, you were surrounded in bubbles. you turned the rumble into fucking bubbles.

you stood mouth wide open in shock for a minute, the people around you just as amazed. aaron was the first to run to you, asking if you were alright, and you nodded, still a bit shocked. he expressed his astoundment at your newfound skill.

juliette then came up to you and profusely apologized, and you assured her you were okay and accidents happen.

"i can't count how many times i almost knocked out castle with things during my training. you'll get the hang of it. plus, i'm sure aaron had trouble learning to control power too."

"oh, no. though i've always been very good at everything i do."

you smack his chest, "you are seriously no help."

you continue to train very hard for the rest of the week, your muscle will likely permanently ache in pain.

you and aaron hadn't gotten much better, you really did try to reach out so many times, but if he wasn't going to cooperate, why waste energy.

he made a habit of intentionally putting his focus on things around the base and working late, so he wouldn't see you until you were already asleep.

if things ended badly between you two, i'd be because of his own stupidity, not for your lack of trying nor the judgment of his character.

other than that, all was well. until kenjii decided to casually drop a bomb that adam and james were coming to the base. juliette started freaking out, and you weren't sure where you and adam stood, but you were excited to see james again.

adam arrived, and tensions between the ex-couple were high. they both were cordial but weren't sure how to act around one another. adam went up and apologized to you for his treatment, and you accepted it because he was once your friend, and you hated grudges. james excitedly greeted you, and you gave him a small tour.

then aaron showed up, ignoring adam, but he and james went back in forth in exchanges. it was very entertaining to watch, and aaron pointed out your enjoyment.

"why do you call her amor?"

"it means love in spanish."

"so, do you love her?"

"why, do you?"

"n-no! she's really pretty- i mean, i like her...no, ugh, she's like a million years older than me!"

"hey! i'm not prehistoric!"

you cut the exchange short, grabbing james on the shoulders and dragging him away, "how about we go back t kenji while i explain to you age numbers..."

you and juliette got upgrades in suits. yours similar to your former, but with minor changes. your color was now a darker red with accents of black, your coat was now high to low with slides for the sides of your legs to show, new knee-high combat coots, and new long fingerless gloves. yours and juliette's new material was made to accommodate your powers.

for training, you watched juliette and kenji go back in forth in combat - kenji mostly won due to technique, but juliette overpowered him a few times.

aaron came up to you, and insisted the two of you train in combat together. you rejected his offer; combat was not your forte, you were repeatedly told by kenji many times. so you just stuck to using your powers. but aaron wouldn't back off.

"it's important to learn combat, amor."

"if i run into a bad guy i'll just fling him away."

"and when you can't use your powers, what happens?"

you were going to argue that wouldn't happen, but knew it wouldn't suffice for him, so you just gave in, so he would shut up.

it was no shocker that he easily blocked your punches and stopped any attack. he even had the audacity to be amused at how badly you were doing.

"wow, you are quite terrible."

"okay, i get it i suck. can i go back to my training?"

"c'mon, amor, don't give up so easily. punch me."

as much as you were annoyed, you didn't want to physically hurt him. aaron laughed when you told him that. that itself, ticked you off. and it did not help that now you had an audience invested in the interaction.

you still didn't relent, aaron was a bit disappointed, but he focused on fixing your form.

you don't know if it was the fact aaron laughed, his constant comments, or all your pent-up frustration, but something came over you. while aaron was distracted with giving walking you through hitting an opponent, you hit him - hard. you might've used some of your powers to make the hit stronger, but he didn't need to know that.

aaron staggered back, shockingly caught off guard. you honestly expected him to block it like your other ones; but no you managed to land a hit on his cheekbone area, hitting some of the side of his nose. your poor form made for your knuckles to hurt badly.

everyone stopped what they were doing; even you froze. kenji in the back, trying not to laugh. aaron then recovered, his land touching the side of his face. his face didn't show anger, pain, nor surprise - he was smiling in admiration.

"oh my god, i'm so sorry!"

"no, don't apologize, amor. i'm very content being the first to experience your strength firsthand."

you and aaron ended up cutting practice short and went to the infirmary. you helped treat the large bruise on his face you'd given him as a small apology, and he wrapped your sprained knuckles and partly chasted you for incorrect hand form. was he looking to get punched again?

the following day, aaron woke you up earlier than your normal routine. he mentioned an opportunity for you and juliette to finally get practice outside of the base, and you quickly agreed. you asked why so suddenly, and then he disclosed he was going to visit his mother. it was her birthday, he explained. he didn't say much after that and went over that kenji will keep you and juliette invisible after he leaves.

but you couldn't help your curiosity and asked a little about his mother. hearing the story of his ring broke your heart. the only gifts you got were when you and juliette exchanged homemade gifts for your shared birthday, but the story made you appreciate that tradition much more.

"i think it's good you still visit her."

"is it?"

"it is. knowing you have someone there is sometimes enough. whenever i remembered i had my sister with me, it made the asylum not completely terrible. and around you, i feel like i achieve anything."

juliette, kenji, and you, invisible, met with warner at his tank. you didn't even need to tell him of your presence before he helped you into the tank and got on the driver side to start it.

"how'd you..." you ask, confused.

"i can sense your presences. especially yours."

"woah, freaky. what's mine feel like? peanut better?" he got ignored.

you settled on the opposite window side, juliette next to you, and kenji next to aaron. kenji started shuffling around, uncomfortable.

"dude, y/n, switch seats with me."

"what why?"

"your boyfriend is touching my leg."

"you flatter yourself." aaron interjects.

"c'mon hurry up! i think he's about to knife me..."

"just switch with juliette. it's easier."

"no way, if i'm gonna move, i might as well get the window seat."

you roll your eyes (not that he can see), and the two of you begin a messy movement of bodies to switch seats. poor juliette, stuck in the middle, getting hit by an occasional limb.

"ow, you just hit me in the face-" juliette complains.

"sorry, i'm trying my best-"

"now you just hit me!" you exclaim.

"oh my god, let me just-"

"kenji!"

kenji was the first to get to his new seat, you were situated over both him and juliette. kenji, tired of your leg in his face, shoved you with brief warning. and in an attempt to stable yourself you put your hands out on aaron's lap, but one hand missed. and landed on his groin. aaron visibly flinched and put his lips together in a straight line to contain his painful expression.

you gasped and hastily moved your hands in a panic, then to make matters worse - you fell face first in his lap. you were so happy to be invisible at the moment.

aaron takes a sharp intake of air, and his knuckles turn white from how tight he grips the wheel. you scramble you sit correctly, accidentally putting a hand on his groin again before finally in the seat. the silence was deafening.

aaron promptly dropped you both off at an empty site and bid you goodbye. you gave him some last words for comfort that you noticed he appreciated. then he went off.

sometime later, it was time for the four of you to meet up again. the practice had been somewhat successful. there were many miscalculations with practicing and being invisible. the three of you kept stumbling into each other, having the wrong place meant, and arguing over who was right. but ignoring that, you did get some practice in there.

aaron, however, was unusually late. it worried you. kenji and juliette didn't think much of it. but since you knew his location, you sensed there was something wrong. you asked both of them to check on him to ensure he was already, and you three walked to the house. you avoided mentioning aaron's mother.

you asked juliette and kenji to wait outside as you went inside.knji begrudgingly agreed, ensuring he could keep the invisibility up inside, too. juliette bid you to be careful and return as soon as possible.

you saw a few different pictures of aaron with his mother as a child. you looked through different rooms until you found him. he was sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest, his frame trembling. his mother died; you put together. you quickly knelt down and gave him a hug that he accepted. you let him hold you tightly as he sobs sorrowfully. it was painful to witness, so you let him cry onto your shoulder for however long he needed.

an hour later you returned, kenji and juliette already in the tank, no invisibility. you didn't need for them to say anything to know they had questions, so you avoided their gaze. next to you, aaron held your hand the whole way back

his mother's death reminded you of his family, the unknown fact to him that he shares blood with adam and james. you wanted him to know, but truly, you didn't want any part of that mess. knowing was already knawing at you as it was. juliette disagreed; she thought adam needed to tell aaron.

you thought leaving aaron alone was the best decision. you even planned to spend the night where everyone else was. but as you were packing a bag, he stopped you. aaron grabs your arm and turns you to look at him.

"you're right. i am holding back. i was telling you how much you were in denial, but it was me who was holding back. you've always seen me in a light like no one has. i've never thought of myself as even a decent man until you came around. and it scares me. so much. i'm afraid of disappointing you, and you'll be disgusted with me, see the monster i see every day in the mirror. but if giving more of myself is all it takes to be yours, then it's done. you can learn every crevice of my soul if it means you'll stay with me."

you knew it then, "i love you." you are in love.

he grabs your face and kisses you in less than a second. the kiss being so loving and careful, he takes his time memorizing your lips. he lifts you in the air prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. from there, the kiss molds into passion and need. before you know it, you're both lying on the bed with him hovering over you.

aaron groans into your mouth, "say it again."

you softly giggle, "i love you."

"god, you have no idea what you just unleashed, amor."

your stomach is doing a million glips. your entire body is in frenzy. you're ready to have a heart attack there and then. it was only just the beginning as well.

"lift your hips for me, amor."

"c'mon, angel, don't get shy on me now."

"i'm afraid you're never getting rid of me now mi amor."

very long night.

you slept through most of the morning, only woken up by aaron laying kissing down your neck. then he started going lower down your body. any sleep you had was now gone.

"aaron.. what are you doing."

"nothing."

"liar."

"shhh.. you just lay there, i'm just going to enjoy my breakfast."

the man was insaitable; you were sure you weren't ever gonna get out of bed that day. but eventually, you did. had to dedicate half an hour to walking properly again.

you went to you rfinal fitting for suits, and the new look was incredible. juliette traded the purple for a new black suit - kenji not liking his color stolen.

"why am i the only one in color now?"

"so, you can get spotted and shot at first while the rest of us get away." kenji answers.

"you're the worst."

aaron walked up behind you and whispered in your ear, "how quickly can you take this off?"

you smack his chest and give a playful disapproving look.

"i mean, it definitely can stay on, too."

"aaron!"

the bliss of everything helped ease your nerves for the following day. you were sat in aaron's room going over the plan for the millionth time. aaron kept reassuring you you'd be perfect and worrying will do nothing but install fear.

"it's just... what if it backfires. what if no one listens or surrenders?"

"it wont and they will."

"you're right. i'll just tell them my scary boyfriend will come after them."

"for you? always." he kisses your cheek, "i like the sound of you saying boyfriend, but scary?"

"well, everyone besides me is pretty scared of you."

"and what about you, what do you think of me?"

"i think you're cute."

"cute? yeah, let me show you just how cute, i can be."

aaron can never take his off of you for too long.

the next day, you, juliette, and the others stood in front of sector 45. both the people and the soldiers gathered there, all of their eyes fixed on your group. it was like the world's largest show and tell.

aaron started it off with a speech, informing everyone of the truth and the fact you and juliette were alive and well. then your sister took over, and directly told the crowd the plan to destroy the reestablishment, you gave a few words of your own, but juliette did most of the talking much to your relief.

then the questions from the crowd starting, so it was time for the group to showcase their powers. finally it was down to juliette and you.

juliette climbed to a building s good hundred feet from the ground, then jumped off and landed - making the ground tremble and shatter beneath her.

"how the hell do i top that?" you whisper to yourself.

with a comforting look from aaron, and a deep breath, you stepped into the front. you looked for a fairly easy but impressive thing to lift and spotted a very tall tower. bingo.

using your ability, you began carefully levitating it above the ground. you closed your hand into a fist, and the tower began breaking into bits. people began to panic as the rubble started coming toward them, but suddenly, you transformed the pieces into butterflies flying around the people. everyone looking around in amazement.

you took the biggest deep breath once you were done. very happy your practice paid off, and you didn't accidentally end up killing a crowd.

the crowd cheered and roared. the presentation proved to be successful because they got on board with destroying the reestablishment. the soldiers surrendered and joined the rebellion.

back in the training room, everyone was overjoyed with the success of overtaking sector 45, but now came the hardest part. winning a war.

juliette ran straight to you, attacking you in a very strong hug. so strong you had to tell her to chill on the power a bit. she apologized and released you. the recent events were still reeling in your mind, not fully comprehended.

"oh my god, juliette what did we just do?"

"we just started a war my dearest sister."

and now you had to wait to face anderson in likely a day or two. he almost killed you last time. but you wouldn't let him get lucky again.

the group, minus aaron, sat in the training room discussing what was next. one talk to another led to the topic of anderson.

"i've never even met the guy. wonder what he's like?"

"he's handsome. it's actually insane how evil, but striking he is." you blurt out.

juliette agrees, but the group looks at you weirdly.

"dude, you just called your boyfriend's dad attractive."

"what? i don't mean it in a weird way."

"hey, at least you've got a backup option if the first anderson doesn't work out. "

you throw a pillow at kenji's head.

then the topic of anderson's name came about, and that's when the trouble began. adam answered his name was paris; but suddenly, aaron arrived in the room, overhearing the conversation.

aaron put him against the wall, interrogated him on how he knew, and adam not saying anything. you couldn't take it anymore, so you yelled out the truth.

"he's your bother!"

aaron didn't believe it. juliette kept pressuring adam until he finally confessed. everyone gave the two of them space to work things out as everyone else busied themselves. when all was on steady terms, aaron sat with you.

"you should've told me."

"i know, i'm sorry. but it really wasn't my secret to tell."

"i had a right to know."

"c'mon, if you had some sort of family secret of mine, would you tell me right away?"

he hesitates, "you're right. you didn't want to get involved, i understand that."

you tell yourself it didn't matter, but you couldn't help but ask, did he deliberately avoid answering. you brush it off, probably nothing.

you returned to aaron's room, you both talked about the brother situation more, and aaron mentioned spending more time with both kent's. you were happy to see he was content to learn about his new family and want to see them more.

"this is great. i'm happy when you're happy. it's deserve more close people in your life."

"but i have you, and that's enough."

"very sweet, but family relationships are different. i was fortunate to have a sister in my life. what if my mother hadn't had the both of us, juliette not being my sister? seems unimaginable.."

aaron goes rigid, being in his lap, you notice immediately, "you alright?"

he relaxes and nods, "this whole situation has me a bit disorientated. enough brother talk. let me remind you why our relationship has much better advantages than other ones.."

a full night of sleep was just a foreign concept at this point.

it took one day for anderson to come to the sector. you all had luckily kind of prepared for it, so there was a plan set that you all were to follow. kenji, juliette, and you were responsible for going to the ship to deal with anderson while the rest took care of the matter on land.

before separating, you said your farewell and good luck to aaron. you tried to cry when saying goodbye to james and promising all would be fine. lastly, you gave aaron a kiss, and you promised each other to be safe.

"i have no doubts that you will succeed. my father can't even fathom the power you possess."

as you three board the port, you notice the massive groups of soldiers. juliette has the idea of you pushing them into the water with your powers, which you do.

you each take turns getting onto the ship, 5-second gap each. however, once you get inside, you can't find neither juliette or kenji. still invisible, you take your chances going through different doors, trying not alert soldiers.

but it fails because bullets began shooting in your direction. you run as fast as you can; unlike juliette, you are not invincible neither was your suit, at least not entirely.

with your invisibility gone, you get cornered with at least 7 soldiers, armed. your instincts kick in, and you start throwing men and attacking them with your energy. one soldier begins shooting at you when you're caught off guard. you hold your hand out as a protection and close your eyes, but you see the bullet is stopped - by your shield. you hadn't even made an effort to create it yet, and it presented itself like it was an automatic presence.

after witnessing that, the guard abandoned the ship and ran off. you couldn't blame him; you doubt he got paid enough to deal with all this.

you attention is shifted when you heard loud crashes and screams. you recognize them as your friend and your sister. you rush toward the room where the sound was originating.

you see kenji on the ground in pain and juliette not too far off; she's crouched down, clutching her head, and struggling to stand. you spot anderson, with another man, who you recognize is causing juliette's pain with his sonic wave gift.

you focus your energy on the boy, focusing on hurting him. then he stops his pressure waves and starts howling in pain, crouching down like juliette had. you were in a trance, channeling all your energy into hurting the guy, then - you snapped his neck.

you ran to juliette first, helping her get up, then you checked on kenji who was in worse shape.

anderson drew his gun, and started shooting bullets at you both, but it simply just bounced off. you and juliette drew your own weapons; you looked at each other and knew what had to happen next.

you focus your energy on anderson, his legs then collapse under him. he starts scrambling on the ground. juliette steps on his hands - shattering his borns with her power.

"remember that lesson on justice getting served?"

you shoot him in the chest, and juliette aims for his head.

4 shots - one for adam, one for aaron, one for juliette, and one for you.

it was a blur after that. sara and sonya were found and attended to kenji who was luckily not in any fatal condition, he would be okay.

it felt like you were experiencing someone out-of-body, unreal. juliette went up to the speaker system, capable of speaking to the entirety of the sector. she announced the end of the reestablishment and its new leader.

he was dead. it was over.

still bloodied and bruised, you stood on the tallest tower of the compound. you hadn't talked to anyone; everyone too busy rejoicing. but you were still digesting everything that had just happened.

you look over the new land and wonder what could be in store next.

you're not surprised when juliette and aaron find you, they know you too well at this point. they don't say anything and each take a side next to you. aaron puts a hand around your waist and tugs you toward him.

"the entire rest of the world is coming after us now, you know."

"i'd love to see them try." juliette says confidently.

"i believe as long as our bonds remain strong, we can overcome anything." though. that wasn't how you really felt.

you didn't want to damper a glorious day. but you couldn't help the pit forming inside of your stomach, telling you this was only the beginning of a treacherous path.

but nothing come could destroy the bonds you forged, right?

@whatsupb18 @letspretendimnottrash @heart-an0n @mrsspector-grant @kikilarast10 @nina357 @lupinswolfsbanes (tysm for the support)

#aaron warner x reader #aaron warner imagine #aaron warner #aaron warner anderson #aaron warner fanfic #shatter me #shatter me fanfic #shatter me series #juliette ferrars #kenji kishimoto #adam kent #x female reader #x y/n #x reader #reader insert #reader imagine #headcannons

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bonefall · 1 month

Note

I feel like that 'ear' anon also ENTIRELY missed the point of the scene.

First off, they're wrong that being hit on the ear doesn't hurt, and secondly, that's not the only thing to focus on.

What readers should focus on is that Crowfeather said nothing to stop Breezepaw from behaving a certain way, then smacked him without warning to get him to stop (which was said to be a harsh smack, anon).

The thing to focus on is that Crowfeather's interactions with his son are negative 99.9% of the time if not 100% of the time (the only time they got along pre-Crowfeather's Trial was when Crowfeather was encouraging bad behaviour, like mocking ThunderClan).

That anon basically said "it's okay because it doesn't hurt."

Even if that anon was right, even if the ear has zero nerves and could be cut off with no pain, Crowfeather still shouldn't have done it, because the emotional hurt is still very much real and very much there (plus real studies prove that it does nothing but cause harm)

It's true, and honestly I take it as an admission of desperation. They have literally nothing.

Even by their own awful "logic," the ear is an incredibly sensitive area. They had to find some excuse SO BADLY that they didn't even bother to touch their own head before making it, let alone actually address the severity of how profoundly abusive Crowfeather was to his child.

Even if this one particular backhand didn't matter, there is a MOUNTAIN of scenes where he belittles, neglects, and screeches at his son. Often over basic needs like rest and hunger.

And like, not to shadowbox too much, but that sort of anon and the "Let People Like X" crowd do seem to be huddled close together. Almost like "Let Ppl Like Crowfeather" is a euphemism for "Stop talking about how his actions are abusive." It reeks of insecurity.

My problematic faves have caused controversy from their very inception. They were born into it. Molded by it. By the time they had encountered defenders they were merely blinding. "I dont want my Comfort Character(TM) to be a bad guy :(" then you don't want a character, you want a safety blanket. Become a Brackenfur liker or something.

#Crowfeather Infections #I'm making this my official tag for this sort of thing #Bone babble #Tw abuse #Cw abuse

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strongheartneteyam · 14 days

Text

I wet you like water but she stained you like blood.

Pairing: widowed!dilf!jake sully x younger!female!human!reader

CW: slight sexual language, can be triggering to some, heartbreak, age gap kink, hurt/no comfort, age gap relationship problems, angst, reader reminiscing (pls tell me if I missed anything)

So, yeah... I never know when I'm gonna come back with another writing. My hiatus n working periods are all a bit unpredictable lol sorry. Anyways... I literally spent the whole night awake n I was struck by a sudden lightning of creativity early in the morning and I edited this chapter n wrote a bit more, but I still haven't slept at all, so, I apologize if some parts of this make no sense at all. I'll fix it when I can. Hope you guys like it <3 ily guys a whole lot :)) obs: this chapter is a shorter one.

Slightly proofread.

Chapter 4 𓆩♡𓆪

They say all's well that ends well

But I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind

You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine

And that made me want to die

The idea you had of me, who was she?

A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you

All Too Well - 10 minutes Version (Taylor Swift)

𓆩♡𓆪

It had been 1 year since the last time you saw Jacob Sully. Or Jakey, like you used to call him. The wound never healed. It still throbbed and bled every time you remembered the words he told you that dreadful day. "I think we should stop seeing each other." It felt like you would never get over him. How can one get over such an overpowering, raw feeling? He marked you forever, like a bruise that seemed to never disappear from your skin.

The flashback came like thunder in a storm, haunting your thoughts with a loud pain that echoed through your mind. What you told Jake that night.

“The truth is I love you. The truth is I can't take this anymore. I'm giving you my everything but you don't seem to be doing the same. You're still guarded.” There was a tense period of silence “Jake… I love you. But I don't think you feel the same.”

Maybe you shouldn't have said anything. Maybe if you had kept your mouth shut, he would still be with you.

Ugh!! Stop that, now, (y/n)! Some self love, please? You're better than this. You deserve better.

You tried to convince yourself of that, at least.

The pain was unbearable at times and almost easy to conceal at other times. It depended on how distracted with work or your studies you were. These days you ran to any distraction that could ease the perpetual angst that squeezed your heart inside its hands all the fucking time. It had been like that ever since Jake left you. What were you expecting anyway? You should have known you were never truly loved by Jake. The love of his life was Neytiri and it would always be, alive and walking through Pandora or dead and with Eywa.

It felt beyond weird to have to hear people talking about Jake and have to pretend he was a stranger to you, someone you barely knew, when he had actually left a mark so strong on you, a memory ingrained in your brain, a feeling, a pain buried inside your heart that made you want to scream and hit your head against a wall. That's how much it hurt.

You would never have his body against yours again, warming you up when it was cold, after you spent the whole day in that damn lab, studying Pandoran plants but all you could really concentrate on was how much you missed his reassuring, protective presence. He made you feel safe for the first time in your life. But now he is gone. Just like every single good thing you ever had in your life. But you know what? Maybe your mother was right, maybe love wasn't really something that could ever last forever.

Did Jake ever really make a real effort to be with you? Thinking back, it was extremely easy for him to just come to you and fuck you anytime he felt sad and lonely. What if you had just been a naive, dumb girl all this time? Were you mourning a love that never actually

existed? It was always so hard to talk to him about his feelings for you, he never actually let you in, to be honest. All the time you two spent together, you were never able to know if he ever saw you as a partner or just a fuck buddy.

Oh, but the high… it was worth all the lows. The butterflies in your stomach every time you guys were almost caught fucking in the back of your work room by Norm. Eventually you guys had to tell him about your situationship because, oh well… he already knew what was going on, really. Norm is not a fool or a child. He could add 2 plus 2.

The adrenaline was worth all the tears. And, fuck… you would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

𓆩♡𓆪

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footnotesaregreat · 2 months

Text

Hua Cheng's Simp Diaries 101

*a list of his simp moments bc you've never seen a man so deeply in love*

1. found and kept xie lian's earring from the first time they met when he was 10

2. plays with it a lot

3. kept the umbrella xie lian gave him when it was raining at his shrine

4. only ate from the offerings at the shrine when he was certain it was xie lian himself who told him to

5. was one of the few people who didn't kneel to pray to xie lian bc it was what he asked

6. he brought fresh flowers to the shrine everyday for xie lian's statue to hold

7. he tied the red string of fate on the finger xie lian had tied his own hair around to protect him in the cave

8. he turned his ashes into a ring which he gave to xie lian

9. told him it was nothing important

10. made him his reason to live because xie lian told him to

11. he built thousands of statues and shrines for xie lian

12. he challenged the 33 gods that ridiculed xie lian beat them in battle and burned down their temples *girlboss*

13. he's been drawing xie lian's picture from when he was a child from the first day that he saved him

14. made a big ass door for the shrine so it'd be better protected

15. when xie lian was blown away by the sandstorm at ban yue pass and accidentally grabbed onto him he only said: gege there you are don't fly away again

16. literally sucked venom out of xie lian's hand and then proceeded to explode the snake that stung him

17. made sure to give xie lian the ferns that did not grow with humans as fertiliser to heal his hand bc he knew he would feel bad about that

18. killed hundreds of ghosts at ban yue pass in seconds before xie lian came down there

19. protected him from the snakes leaving mu qing alone to fight them

20. taught xie lian how to play dice just to hold his hands bc the motherfucker definitely just changed the dice himself

21. he gave xie lian dice that would always bring him to xie lian as long as he wanted to see him

22. when he fought with qianqiu and accidently hurt xie lian he felt so bad

23. eming was crying actual tears

24. he came into the heavenly capital to take xie lian away immediately bc he rolled the dice he gave him and he wanted to see him

25. once he saw how much qianqiu didn’t know about the gilded banquet he took them to qi rong's lair and forced him to tell the whole story so there would be no misunderstandings

26. he built a literal temple in the ghost city for xie lian specifically for the mid autumn festival so he could "make things interesting" for xie lian's "amusement"

27. he lit up 3000 blessings lanterns for xie lian from the temple he made in the ghost city

28. spent billions in gold to get the lanterns

29. *twice*

30. he captured the fetus ghost before xie lian bc he couldn’t let him hurt himself and to do so kissed him in the pretence that they shouldn't have their mouths open

31. brought xie lian back to paradise manor and instantly made him feel so comfortable that he actually let his pain show while removing the needle he'd stepped on

32. he went to puqi village to bring xie lian’s hat back bc he mentioned it while rambling after their first kiss

33. he cleaned puqi shrine and took qi rong out of the house along with the rest of the trash

34. when he saw he xuan come in with qingxuan he threatened him bc he didn't want xie lian involved with the whole thing with he xuan and the wind and water masters

35. got his people to watch over qi rong and lowkey lang ying and guzi and also probably to look after the shrine while they would be away with qingxuan and he xuan

36. when xie lian FINALLY asked for his private communication array password his eyes legit twinkled

37. he purposefully set his password to sth very much embarrassing so that no one but xie lian would dare reach him

38. the only time xie lian actually used it himself was when he was legit imprisoned by jun wu

39. he actually found xie lian's password funny and the poor thing got the validation he wanted for his joke after 800 years of having this password

40. he constantly changed outfits to watch xie lian struggle to keep his eyes off him

41. while qingxuan was in xie lian’s body he wouldn’t hurt him so he punched he xuan into the ground to release his frustration

42. totally sailed across black water's domain with xie lian's dead body in a coffin

43. the worst suffering for him is watching his beloved get trampled and ridiculed which he experienced when xie lian descended and the people turned against him

44. also watched him get stabbed a hundred times

45. and saw him drunk in a graveyard crying and breaking down

46. he thought he hadn't won xie lian over yet but he had even though xie lian himself hadn't realised it yet

47. he made a new donation box for xie lian while shirtless and sweating even though he's a literal ghost and doesn't sweat

48. he pretended to be unconscious even though as mentioned he's a literal ghost just so he could have a laugh and totally freaked out when xie lian attempted to perform cpr *on a literal ghost*

49. proposed to xie lian and for some reason said he was kidding

50. he’d already given xie lian his ring and wore the string of fate (smooth bro)

51. built a coffin to safely cross the sea with xie lian and successfully caused him a boner (erectile dysfunction cured great success)

52. went along with xie lian to the east sea to protect him from black water but still didn't interfere with his choices

53. when xie lian did the soul switch he sucked his power from his body so that he could bring xie lian's soul back and again freaked out when xie lian kissed him to get the powers back

54. he only practices writing with a specific poem that specifically describes the specific feelings he has for xie lian

55. when he lost control of himself he *intensely* kissed xie lian and afterwards he was so worried that he had hurt him

56. he turned into lang ying even though xie lian told him to not be with eachother for now since they would both be busy

57. even though he was with him he sent the litter to carry them

58. had yin yu gather all the ghosts and the clothes while searching for the brocade immortal so that xie lian could work faster

59. he tattooed xie lian's name on his arm but his handwriting is so awful even xie lian himself couldn't tell what was written for the longest time

60. he ignored xie lian telling him to not do all the chores and did them for him while maintaining lang ying's form

61. he refused to change even when it was clear that xie lian had figured it out and was struggling to write whatever he’d asked him

62. he tried to make himself look good when xie lian asked him who is the prettiest, strongest etcetc

63. he was definitely crying tears of joy whenever xie lian picked him up and told him who cute he was

64. he shared his ✨feelings✨ about looking weaker than he is and feeling powerless

65. did not want xie lian to have to protect him but still listened to him and accepted the help

66. went with xie lian to mount tong'lu to protect him and make sure no one messed up with him

67. he told xie lian anything he wanted to know about whatever they encountered at mount tong'lu

68. he changed the bloody rain to red flower petals so he wouldn’t get xie lian wet

69. he brought him under his umbrella and shielded him from the boulders refusing to help anyone else

70. he tied THE FUCKING RED STRING OF FATE to xie lian's finger to make sure the two would always find their way back to each other

71. he quoted a line from the oldest known chinese novella literally meaning "not even death can do us part"

72. he showed xie lian what happened between yin yu and qi ying so he could better understand their situation

73. he was very ok to just hang around inside the mountain and told xie lian that if it was with him he wouldn't mind staying there

74. he heard and comforted xie lian's worries about his guoshi and told him exactly what he needed to hear

75. it later helped xie lian remain calmer when the identity of white no-face was about to be revealed

76. when the rest of their group where being loud he told them to shut the fuck up bc xie lian was sleeping

77. when pei ming was being a little shit and commented on the red string tied on their fingers he covered it with an illusion

78. then he showed it to xie lian who was worried that it was gone completely

79. he said to xie lian: "i know you can’t die, and you’re not afraid to die, but no matter how tough you are, don’t think yourself incapable of getting hurt.”

80. and: “not dying doesn’t mean not getting hurt, and it definitely doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. when you see something strange and dangerous, don’t just touch it. find me. let me take care of it.”

81. when xie lian replied with: “...you too. if there’s something dangerous, you don’t touch, i won’t touch either, alright?” he was downright giddy, giggling, eyes twinkling, hair twirling

82. he built tens of thousands of statues and painted all of his encounters with xie lian throughout the years

83. he also sculpted the two of them boning (my guy was so sexually deprived)

84. he was so so scared when they ended up in the cave bc he didn't want to make xie lian uncomfortable in any way

85. he never wanted to make any kind of move that would frighten xie lian

86. he healed xie lian's frostbite wounds that even xie lian himself hadn't noticed

87. honestly can't separate the moments at this point the man is a ball of affection

88. when xie lian hugged him and showed him that his feelings were reciprocated he said: "your highness, you really will be the death of me." BRO IS LEGIT LIVING IN A SAKUATSU FIC WHAT THE FUCK

89. his eyes would not stop twinkling the whole time xie lian held his hand

90. he was in such a good mood that he didn't even say anything *extremely* insulting to mu qing and feng xin

91. he is just a little bby

92. he loves xie lian so much

93. when xie lian asked him about his ashes he once again said that they were absolutely safe and if the place he kept them was destroyed he wouldn't want to continue existing anyway

94. he basically turned into a ghost for the sole purpose of protecting xie lian and being with him

95. he twirls his little braid and fidgets with the coral pearl from xie lian's earring

96. he KISSED xie lian before they jumped into the kiln and this time without any false pretence of "transferring powers” or performing cpr" *once again on a literal ghost*

97. his spirit stayed in the mortal realm after dying in battle for xie lian and when he saw him told him once again that he will never forget him

98. also referred to xie lian as his beloved

99. also said that he wanted to protect him

100. and that he is his most devoted believer

101. and if his beloved felt bad that he stayed to protect them he would just not tell them

102. very slay of him

103. he was still so young there i-

104. they are the death of me

105. in the form of a literal ball of ghost fire he followed xie lian and did his best to warm him up and protect him even though he couldn't do that in that form

106. when white no-face held him and forced him to stay still while people stabbed xie lian a hundred times he couldn't take it and transformed into a vengeful spirit

107. he found xie lian in yong’an and offered to fight for him again as wu ming

108. while in yong'an he protected xie lian multiple times

109. the best and most beautiful statue of xie lian he built was inside the kiln and ended up being the one that broke xie lian out thanks to the powers he’d transferred to him

110. he continues to give xie lian spiritual powers by sticking his tongue down his throat and xie lian is going for it ofc

111. sent out his people to find the humans xie lian needed for the spiritual array

112. immediately noticed someone extra joined the array and told xie lian to check it out

113. when xie lian had to go to the heavenly capital with jun wu and his guoshi he asked him for a kiss bc staying back to take care of the spirits and the people in the array was just so hard to do without

🎐🍒🔥✨gege✨🔥🍒🎐 at his side

114. when xie lian connected with him through the spiritual communication array he instantly knew sth was wrong bc xie lian would never say his password unless it was an emergency

115. he gave qingxuan spiritual powers to have a way to connect with xie lian and sent help immediately

116. came to the heavenly capital despite knowing that jun wu would find him

117. talked with xie lian's guoshi and even spoke respectfully to him *mostly*

118. he sent he xuan to the array to give qingxuan his fan and transfer powers maybe bc xie lian cares for him or maybe bc he tolerates qingxuan *guess we’ll never know*

119. let's be honest from this point on, even more than the rest, every moment should be added

120. the man is a ball of love

121. he quoted himself while he was evaporating into butterflies because he's just such a poet and a romantic

122. he dies 3 times for xie lian

123. three

124. separate

125. times

126. he came back on the same day they first met

127. he lit another 3000 blessing lanterns for xie lian

128. "they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. this time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace."

129. he turned puqi shrine into a gay monument to xie lian

130. he left an essence of evil inside xie lian *successfuly caused mu qing and feng xin strokes*

131. he asks xie lian to call him 🧧🥟🗡️✨san lang✨🗡️🥟🧧 bc it means husband so xie lian has been calling him his husband all along

132. he got spoiled by xie lian and tried to bone every chance he got *fair*

133. when someone goes to pray to either one of them, for the prayers to be successful they must pray to both of them *together*

134. treated xie lian to yuanxiao and he finally remembered how it tasted after 800 years

135. he was definitely shaking from happiness when the answers to the riddles from the ghosts wrote "my husband is hua cheng" *even though the ghosts didn't know grammar*

136. when xie lian temporarily lost his memories he followed him everywhere to keep an eye on him

137. it's implied that mu qing and feng xin found him to tell him the situation with xie lian and then he went to find him so maybe he trusts them more now

138. he immediately sent yin yu to capture the creature that ate xie lian's memories

139. he loved every second of making fun of him

140. he made xie lian call him 🧧🥟🗡️✨gege✨🗡️🥟🧧

141. you bet his eye was twinkling the whole time

142. eming is used to taking baths with xie lian but when he went to him while he didn't have his memories hua cheng slapped it *save eming*

143. when he got sick he didn't want xie lian to have to take care of him but they talked about it and agreed to let the other take care of them whenever they needed it

144. when the whole fiasco with xie lian’s statues happened they made statues of hua cheng to keep them company

145. he has given up on learning calligraphy since he can just turn xie lian on and he forgets about everything

146. no one is doing it like them

147. hua cheng is insane for all of this

148. and very valid bc xie lian is gorgeous

if anyone made it here here's some tgcf playlists i'm quite proud of

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blorbologist · 5 months

Text

Re-watching Calamity (for ~research~) and this time around Patia has really stood out to me. Of course Cerrit and Laerryn and Zerxes are showstoppers, but I decided to pay more mind to the other three members of the Ring of Brass, and just... Patia Por'co, guys. Patia Por'co.

Patia's relationship to what she knows (and does not know) is, I think, the pure distillation of knowledge is power.

She carries all her knowledge, all of Avalir's knowledge, with her, levitating, all this power at her fingertips. I think that there's something to be said with her about how generational power and knowledge are so often intertwined - children of alumni having easier access to the same academic leg up as their parents, knowing who to know, having the ins and outs of how this works handy. I don't believe any of the other members of the Ring of Brass come from backgrounds like this, and if not it's fitting that the only one that does is the one most tied to knowledge. On top of being an elf to boot, something which must amplify the consolidation of resources throughout the years.

[Shunting the rest under the cut bc oops this got Long]

I think it's interesting, too, how Patia seems extremely adept at navigating the lies and half-truths of Avalir's politics, yet reserves honesty for her friends. If someone lesser than they knows what they shouldn't, she will take that power away from them. On my relisten, I'd forgotten that one of the memories the Ring of Brass analyzes tries to throw Patia under the bus, and how quickly she shows Nidas memories proving that she did as right by him as she could. And the reveal that she and Zerxes tried to bring back Evandrin, and upon the failure she removed the painful memory at his request.

(Mechanically, too; as a wizard, her knowledge literally is her power. That's the wizard thing, baby, and if Laerryn exemplifies a wizard whose INT is intellectual skill/problem-solving, then Patia is probably INT as memory. Streetsmart and booksmart besties. Also revealing herself to goad Dean Hollow into popping back in, only to immediately Sphere her and cause the bitch to get eaten by her own spell? Maybe that's a stretch of my 'knowledge is power' bit, but it's too fucking cool of a moment not to remind you of it.)

The first time she died, it was for knowledge. Touching the Tree of Names, and she never did let it go (would she, if she could have?). When she died - that first time - did she meet the Raven Queen?

Patia's direct tie to quite possibly the second-most knowledgeable being in the Exandrian mythos (behind Ioun, but I'd argue you know a lot to handle fate and death, on top of being a wizard in life) feels very deliberate to me. The Raven Queen, the mage who did what no other could (except Vecna a long-ass time later, and only for like a day or two), was at least a contemporary. Perhaps a teacher, or mentor, or admired idol. And now Patia can't even remember her name.

It's funny how much knowledge was actually taken from Patia, between that name and her parents'. Just as she removed knowledge from others. No matter how powerful you get, even with a protective ring, you are always at the mercy of your predecessors. What they chose to do with knowledge. And what Patia chooses to do, now.

In her last moment alone, she relates this knowledge to selfishness. Her grandfather's decision to make a city fly because he and others could. The Gau Drashari's decision to keep all information about the Tree of Names secret. While I disagree with her a bit, it really rounds out knowledge is power - because it's hoarded, it's made a tool for selfishness and control. And Patia acknowledges it likely always will be selfish, but for now at least she can break this cycle.

She breaks Avalir, the model of it her grandfather holds, and sends the Librarium with all the knowledge she carries to Maya.

(I'll note that Maya probably doesn't know what the orb is or does, so sending the model library is a great way to help get that message across, too, on top of the meaning of the moment.)

When it comes time to send all of Avalir's knowledge away, it's not some mage acquaintance from another city she sends it to. Hells - she doesn't even teleport herself out, with it, to ensure its protection and proper use. She sends it to a child, a teenager, the daughter of her friend. Someone with no power, who will have nothing but her family in the Calamity. I can't quite pin down why she choose Maya. Because a teenager is innocent, uncorrupted by power? Because she wanted to give the family of her friend leverage, knowledge to rebuild, a fighting chance?

There's so much Patia did not live to know. She points it out herself that she never found love, or became a parent, all for the sake of Avalir, for knowledge, for power. To maintain the legacy that preceded her. Excellent DMing on Brennan's part to take the quiet moment, as the sphere is sent to Maya, to then put Patia in the place of a child, one robbed of the knowledge of who her parents even were.

And yet. As she sends all she has ever known away, she still reaches for it. Almost wants it back. Almost.

Her story begins and ends with a wish: happy Replenishment, grandfather. And on that fateful day, in place of the stolen tithe she and Laerryn and Nidas have been shuffling around the city, she gives her life to save the world. and she gives away the knowledge to rebuild it.

And there's nothing else she needs to know.

IDK. I think we should talk about Patia more.

#idk how much sense this makes I just. am holding Patia like one of those cool glass ornaments in my hands #it's been a while since I've written Meta and I'm still Emotional. Calamity is full of such heavy hitters I Get why she gets overshadowed #but MAN. MAN IS SHE A COOL CHARACTER.#exu calamity #critical role #patia por'co #cr meta

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0fth34byss · 3 months

Text

(Un)welcome Distraction | Part 6

Nick Folio x female reader

Minors, please DNI

🔞⚠️: angst, discussion about consent, grinding, oral (female receiving), unprotected p in v sex, biting

1,270 words

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

“I don't blame you!” Nick yelled, flopping down on the edge of the hotel room bed.

“Then why are you acting like you do?!” You retorted, turning on your heels and storming into the bathroom.

Nick followed. He turned you round and backed you into the counter, holding you in place. He looked broken.

“I don't blame you. I'm just mad at the situation. I'm mad that my friend made out with my girlfriend.”

“He didn't make out with me. He got up in my face, literally, when I asked what his problem was, then he, he kissed me. I tried to get him off me but -.” you sobbed.

You hadn't lied to Nick about trying to push him away, you had, but only after you realised Jolly had edged his tongue into your mouth.

“That's not what Bryan said he saw. He said Jolly had you pressed up against the wall. He pretty much declared his love for you, then, then, then he had his tongue down your throat!”

“Bryan's exaggerating!” you replied, raising your voice more than you intended.

“Then tell me what happened rather than just crying every time I fucking ask you,” he barked, moving his trembling hands to your waist.

It turned out Bryan had witnessed your exchange with Jolly and told Nick everything, in detail, after Nick had found you inconsolable in one of the restrooms backstage.

The scene played out in your mind for the thousandth time:

Jolly was looking at you with both lust and pain behind his eyes, telling you he'd been suppressing his feelings for years. It rendered you all but catatonic. You were powerless to stop him from kissing you, despite that being the last thing you wanted to happen - even after what he'd just told you. When you hadn't pulled away after a few seconds, Jolly continued to deepen the kiss. The reality of the situation then hit and guilt over being unable to bring yourself to make him stop consumed you. You pushed hard on Jolly's chest and twisted your head to the side to keep your mouth as far away from his as possible. Jolly took a step back and brought his hands to his head, like he was about to pull his own hair out. You burst into tears and he tried to make his apologies, but you were already making your way out the door, where you ran into Bryan, before skirting around him to make your escape.

“Jolly, what the hell?!” You heard Bryan exclaim as you made your way down the corridor to the nearest restroom.

“Bryan, please, I need to go after her.”

“No, you don't. She's not yours.”

You recounted the events to Nick while he kept a firm grip on your waist, like he was worried you'd become a flight risk.

“It was like I was frozen. I couldn't move. I was in, like, shock, or disbelief, or something.”

Nick took a moment, before continuing, “Okay, baby. I know that you didn't kiss him back, but you shouldn't have put yourself in that position. You've seen how he looks at you. How could you not think he'd make a move on you?”

“How. Fucking. Dare. You!” You spat back at him, seeing red. “First of all, I should be able to be in the same room as someone and not have them kiss me WITHOUT my permission. Secondly, I thought Jolly would've had more respect for you, the man he described as his ‘kid brother’. Now, please can you give me some privacy so I can take a shower?”

“Baby -”

“Just go, Nick!”

Reluctantly Nick stormed out of the bathroom and slammed the door behind him, causing you to jump.

When you got out of the shower, your head hurt and your chest felt tight. Wiping away the condensation from the surface of the mirror, you took in your reflection. Your eyes were red and face puffy - ‘great’, you thought. After drying yourself and doing your skincare routine, you'd composed yourself enough to face Nick again. Wrapped in your towel, you tentatively left the bathroom and found Nick sat on the bed with his head in his hands. He jumped to his feet when he saw you.

“Hey, how was your shower?”

“Good. Water pressure's good.”

He looked to the ground, “I, uh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything. I, look, I don't know what to do or think about the situation. I can't start a fight with Jolly in the middle of a tour, so -”

“So it's easier to blame me?” You said, barely keeping your composure.

Nick insisted that wasn't the case and, although you didn't want to, you believed him. You could read Nick like a book.

He pulled you into his arms and onto his lap. Gently placing a finger under your chin, he turned your face up towards his own and placed a soft kiss on your lips. The familiarity was comforting and much needed. You felt Nick smiling against your mouth as he slowly rubbed his hand over your leg. You hadn't quite forgiven him for what he'd said yet, but for now, knowing your relationship was going to be okay was enough.

You repositioned yourself so you were now straddling him, and Nick instinctively wrapped his arms around you to pull you in close. You slowly rotated your hips and began grinding yourself against him, seeking friction between your thighs like you were trying to ease the tension between you both. You felt his cock harden underneath you. Desire took over your usually rational mind.

“Nick?”

“Hmm, hmm”

“Is it bad, after everything that's happened, I really want to have sex with you?”

“Go take off your towel and lie down.”

Nick steadied you as you climbed off his lap and did as you were told. You sprawled out in the middle of the bed as you watched Nick underess. He parted your legs a little more as he came to kneel between them. He moved down the bed slightly then brought his mouth down on your pussy. Nick’s tongue swept over your clit in a controlled rhythm. He continued until you let out an ungodly groan. He whipped up his head, mouth dripping with your juices and crawled up so he could lie on top of you. You could smell your arousal on his breath. Knowing he enjoyed you tasting yourself, you grabbed the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss. While making out, you both began to involuntarily move your hips against each other. You could feel his tip teasing your entrance. Your hands made their way to his ass so you could pull him in closer. Finally, you felt him inside.

He moved his kisses to your neck as he began fucking you with hard, deliberate movements he knew would have to crying out for more. It was obvious he hoped Jolly would hear about it the next morning, but you didn't let that stop you from finding your release.

With your hands still on his ass you pulled him in deep, driving him to bite down on your neck - sucking and nipping at the flesh until you called out in pain. It was animalistic. You were both a mess of grunts and moans, desperate for the other to climax.

“Nick. Fuck.” You literally screamed as you came.

After another minute or two, Nick could only manage to groan loudly in your ear as his load filled you up.

You both lay there in the same position, panting and reeling, unable to move yet.

Part 7

#nick folio #bad omens fanfiction #nick folio fanfic #nick folio fic #nick folio x reader #nick folio fanfiction #nick folio x female reader

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corn-fanfiction · 5 months

Note

Mark Hoffman fluff?

Ask and ye shall receive, dear Anon.

Rating: M

Tags: language, drugs n alcohol, Eric Matthews being himself, fluff (I tried anyway), some descriptions of facial wounds

Not an Asshole (Mark Hoffman x GN!Reader)

-·=»◆‡«=·-♡·=»◆‡«=·-

"Ah!"

You suck air through your teeth and cradle an ice pack against one side of your head while thick yet curiously nimble fingers work at the laceration on the other side. Mark has removed his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves. Things would be different if your vision wasn't still skewed from the tussle. For one, you'd be fixing your wound yourself. Also... you'd be able to better glimpse at Mark's face while he focuses on his work. His brow furrows differently than normal when he focuses, like the usual scowl is a front and this is him in his element.

"Am I gonna have to report this?" he grumbles, setting aside a bloodied alcohol wipe and readying a suture.

"I'm probably the last person you wanna ask."

"Why?"

He's mumbling, clearly looking to fill the silent space. You indulge him.

"Because you know what I'm gonna say."

"That I shouldn't report it?"

"Yep."

"You broke a pretty strict code of conduct," he murmurs so quietly it almost registers as a hum.

You had, in fact, broken quite a few codes of conduct, and in public no less. There's a reason you're in your apartment and not the hospital.

"He had it coming."

Mark 'tsked'. "Still."

You smirk. He agrees with you.

"Get that smile off your face. He's gonna run straight to the chief and tell. I give you a day, if that. Hold still; this is gonna hurt."

You clench your teeth and grip your whiskey glass so hard you're afraid it might shatter in your hand, and then Mark will have even more to clean up. He begins your sitches and you take a shaky sip.

"Still," he scolds you like you're a disobedient animal. You roll your eyes.

"Just take me out back and shoot me."

"You're so dramatic. They're stitches."

"Yeah, and they fucking hurt."

"Well, you fucking earned em, didn't you, Ace?"

Ace. Your nickname, or rather, his nickname for you. Because no one else called you Ace. It started out mean, critical. You were, after all, a rookie, and he your mentor. He was allowed to say basically whatever he wanted to you, and in the beginning, he did. He said things that had you crying in your car as soon as you were out of sight. Any stress, he took out on you. Even the shit that probably wasn't even related to work- it ended up on your shoulders.

It was like that for a while. Then, something changed.

To put it simply, you had saved his life. He was caught unawares, him, and you managed to talk the perpetrator down. More than that, you'd been stupid, deliberately putting yourself in harm's way just to save Hoffman from a beating or maybe a bullet.

So you're Ace. Hotshot, hotheaded. Everything Mark was before you entered the picture. Now, he finds himself taking on some kind of new role to balance you out, though he's not exactly sure what it is or how much he likes it.

"Not my proudest moment, admittedly," you say with a pained groan as Mark pulls the sitches through.

"I'd really hope a bar fight with Eric Matthews was not your proudest moment, no."

"It wasn't a bar fight."

"Ace-"

"It was outside the bar and he threw the first punch."

"He missed."

"Yeah, the first swing."

"I don't feel like arguing about this- hold still unless you wanna lose an eye."

Begrudgingly, you seal your mouth as he manages the last stitch. He pulls a particularly sensitive piece of skin, or maybe sends the needle a little too deep because you hiss and shoot a hand out to clutch his leg.

"Sorry," he mutters. You can't see him, but you feel his eyes hot on your hand and you pull it away, trying and failing to mumble an apology of your own. Even though he's literally sewing your skin closed, the hand to thigh contact is somehow the most intimate thing that's ever happened.

And you have to admit: you maybe had the occasional fantasy about Mark. It couldn't be helped. He's a man in a position of power and you have enough childhood whatever that it has a certain draw. But in any of those fantasies, it's you playing doctor to him. He's the more notorious hothead, after all.

"You're probably mad I'm stealing your title," you half joke. He snips the suture and dabs at it lightly with a fresh alcohol wipe.

"Oh yeah? You think you're gonna make head detective?"

The first part of your response is a gut reaction. "God no. I meant as the biggest asshole in the precinct."

His hands slow, and for a moment, though you're still coming down from your near blackout-level of drunkenness, you're scared you offended him.

"You're not an asshole, Ace. Well, maybe sometimes. But your heart's in the right place."

You're never one for serious or genuine conversations. You always want to leave a conversation with a joke or snarky remark. But here, now...

"And yours isn't?"

After a moment, he sighs and turns himself away. You're sitting on your kitchen counter and he's on a barstool. Even with these levels, he's as tall as you. You kick your legs as he stands.

"This isn't about me."

You hop down from the counter. "I think it is about you as much as it is about me."

He shoots you a grim look. "How do you figure that?"

"Come on. Matthews is pissed that you're good at your job, and by extension, I'm occasionally good at my job."

"That's vanity," he quips.

"But am I wrong?"

He struggles for a moment, caught between lying versus telling you that you're right. He says neither.

"Not the point."

He removes his gloves and tosses them in the trash, along with the wipes and leftover sutures. There's a moment of silence, of him watching you as you retrieve the whiskey and refilling your glass.

"Want one?" You ask.

"Sure."

You get another glass and pour. Like it's a strange instinct, you touch glasses before drinking.

"To being the two biggest assholes in the precinct," he says. You half expect the phrase to be some sort of sad, but he says it with a small smile, as if to say 'yes, we are, and that's just the way it'll have to be.'

You don't mind the idea.

You down your whiskey and pour another glass.

"Slow down there, Ace. How many painkillers have you taken?"

Honestly? You don't remember.

"...some. I'm fine."

To prove just how fine you are, you push yourself from the counter and immediately stumble.

"Alright," Mark sighs and sets his glass on the counter. "Where you trying to go?"

"Couch," you point. It would seem that yes, most of the substances you've ingested in the past two hours are combining at once.

Mark comes and hovers a guiding hand at your lower back to move you to the couch. You make it, plopping down and grabbing the remote.

"Whaddya wanna watch?" You ask, not quite slurring your words but definitely not enunciating them.

"I really oughta get home, let you rest."

"Noooo!" You groan. "At least not right now. What if I have a concussion? I can't sleep, right?"

Panic starts to creep in. You have been a little irresponsible tonight.

"And the drinking, and the meds- holy shit..."

You get woozy, start to fall on your bad side and Mark catches you and sits you up.

"Okay, where's the bathroom?"

You wave your hand to the hallways behind you and he leaves. Distantly, through your haze you hear Judge Judy on the tv. Mark returns with a cold wash cloth and the small trashcan from the bathroom.

"Here," he hands you the cloth and you set it on the back of your neck. Mark sets the bin by your feet. He straightens up and gets a good look at the state of you.

"Well, now I'm worried about you passing out."

And now you feel guilty about keeping him here.

"You're fine," you mumble. "Don't wanna keep you here."

Mark sighs, looks around the room, then looses his collar, undoes the first two buttons of his shirt.

"Scoot," he instructs, and you move yourself to one side of the couch. Mark kicks off his shoes and sits beside you.

"I'm staying until we're certain you won't overdose in the middle of the night. Deal?"

You would verbally respond but you're getting sleepy. You nod.

"Hey, wake up. Can't sleep yet."

"Whynot."

"Concussion."

You turn so your body is facing inwards, towards Mark. You toss the remote onto his lap.

"Pick something."

"This is fine."

"No, you hate reality TV."

"How do you know?"

"You told me once," you mumble with your eyes closed. You roll your head back and forth to keep awake.

"Oh," he says. "Well, I don't mind this one."

You crack an eye open. "You like Judy?"

He doesn't respond, just purses his lips.

You're not in your right mind. That's what you tell yourself every day since this night because it's the most dignified way you can justify your next move.

You've pulled your socked feet up on the couch and start nudging Mark's leg with your toes. His head swivels towards you.

"What?"

You clear your throat and squeeze your eyes shut to let a stab of pain pass.

"Lap."

When he realizes what you want, Mark sighs and moves his arm so you can swing your feet onto his thigh, snuggling even closer. He tenses, but doesn't move.

"You're not an asshole," you mumble. Your forehead gets closer to his shoulder.

"Yeah, I am."

"Not to me."

"I used to be."

"I know," you yawn. "I forgive you."

As you fall asleep, you think you might hear an apology slip through his lips.

When you wake up the next morning, Mark's gone. But you wake up on your side, covered in a blanket, the trash can placed strategically by your head. On your coffee table is a glass of water and two painkillers. And next to them is a sticky note.

Ace,

eat first. Don't take on an empty stomach.

-Mark

You smile and chug the water, then take the pills anyway. Your stitches ache, and your brain pulses against your skull, but you grip the note tightly in your hand, content to slip it into a drawer somewhere and 'forget' to throw it away.

Yep. Maybe an asshole. But not last night. Not today.

-·=»◆‡«=·-♡·=»◆‡«=·-

Sorry if it's OOC but Mark's not a super fluffy guy. This seemed like a natural-ish way to play it. Thanks for the req, anon!!

#mark hoffman #fanfiction #mark hoffman x reader #saw fanfic #fluff

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sourbinnie · 11 months

Text

2:23

[ i owe you a black eye (and two kisses) ] alternative thoughts #1 ✉ | jisung x gn!reader

warnings -> cuts + bruises + implicit violence + drug use mention

"tell me again why you did this." i mumbled softly to him as i grabbed the bandages tying them up. his knuckles were bruised, shiny violet as his face was torn apart with cuts & bruises. he didn't have to say anything when he arrived at my house for me to know that this wasn't an accident. there was well known intention behind his actions and the black eye that he received. he hated the pain but loved the thrill of it all. he enjoyed defending the little honor he had left in him.

"they talked shit about my family, you know how i get." he said as he shivered, did i mention his clothes were torn? in the middle of the rain too. it was a tragic scene from a tale that would never end well but here i was to love the loser in front of me unconditionally.

"i know but that doesn't mean you have to throw a punch when you're not the best at fighting." i kept mumbling as i was concentrated, cleaning the bruises on his face with alcohol. he shaked at the harsh feeling that it provoked on his skin but i needed to clear it before it got bad.

"i don't think you understand how much it stings right now. being here in front of you looking like this." he whispered but i heard completely even through the sound of the hail hitting on the roof. i finished cleaning up to put on a fresh bandage on his cheek and then i looked at him again as i didn't this whole time since i was so focused before.

"let me get you something warmer." i said as i got up but his hand met my wrist and stopped me from going to the bedroom. "jisung i-".

"i love you." he said directly and firmly to me. i could not understand where this was coming from or why the anger was still there when his sweet words striked to my heart. "i'm sorry".

"you don't have to say sorry, you have to learn from this. i can't always save you jisung." i said and i stood my ground. it wasn't okay to do these things even if they're the reason that made me fall for him harder in a fucked up way. i knew it wasn't just his family, i knew he did this because of me. he didn't like hearing the nasty comments some people made about me and he had to get in the situation, take full control. thinking he could do something like pick up a fight and get away with it. "i love you too..."

the silence was loud but the sound of my heartbeat was louder. i was rushing through all of the emotions, having him right there, the delinquent (literally) that stole my heart. i was never the best at choosing the people i loved but this time i really thought that he was the one even if sometimes i did wanna kill him with the decisions he took.

he placed a peck on my lips and then it deepened into a bittersweet kiss. i wanted to stay in that moment forever as i tried to maintain it but had to catch my breath. one eye looking at me as the other one was covered with the eyepatch, still was the sweetest look with those romantic eyes.

"i'm sorry, i really am. i know how much you hate this." he said and i just shook my head.

"can't take your apologies because that's not true. the jisung i fell for is the criminal, stealer of convenience stores and throwing punches where he shouldn't. thinking he could handle drugs like his friends but in reality, showing up to my house with a bloody nose. you really think you're tough and it's pathetic but i like it that way. i don't want a fairytale novel but i also don't want you dead."

he nodded at my words and leaned in on my shoulder as i put the things back in the first aid kit. i sighed as i placed back on the bathroom cabinet and looked at him again. he truly was no good.

"i promise i'll try to make things better." he said

but we both knew, he was lying

#stray kids drabbles #skz imagines #stray kids short imagines #skz short imagines #skz drabbles #skz jisung #skz han #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #han x reader #jisung x reader #skz scenarios #sourbinnie #skz x y/n #skz x reader #skz x gn reader

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fakesimp · 1 year

Note

CONGRATS ON 1K 🙉🙉 im here to haunt you again, ur works never fail to amaze me and i always find myself going back to read them (≡^∇^≡)

luca knshr pls 🙏 angst to fluff? whtver is fine w u, i will wait ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

-"I promised I won't let you go, but I did, will you give me one more chance to hold you again?", Falling for you would be the last time I fall in Love-

again, congrats on 1k, may u gain more followers, may the shurnip bless you, amen, mwah

ଘ(੭ ᐛ )━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

Chances, With Luca Kaneshiro

Warning !

Hurt/Comfort ; Established Relationship

A/n !

Sankyuuu ! I hope you enjoy this !

1k Followers Event Prompts !

"I promise I won't let you go, but I did. will you give me one more chance to hold you again?"

Falling for you would be the last time I fall in Love

➶◜◝➴

"I promise I'll never let you go"

"I Love you babe, so much"

He said, but what happened to that now? Didn't he promise he won't let you go, he promised.

You watched him turning his back towards you, walking away as you stood on the spot, shedding tears. Your hand turned into fist, you turned away and walked away from where you stood, accepting reality.

He is a Mafia after all, he is busy, and his work involves killing, blood bath. Something that is very dangerous for someone like you to be around him, but you loved him for the way he is.

You loved the way he smiled so widely at you, the way his eyes sparkled when he sees you. The way he picked you up with his strong arms as he swings around while holding you in his arms, laughing together with you.

Painful.

It hurts so bad when you remember the memories you made together with him, only for it to shatter when he said he wanted to break up, you couldn't bring yourself to ask why, you couldn't bring yourself to ask him the reason why he wanted to break up with you when everything was okay.

You could only walk away as you try to relieve the pain.

. . .

that was months ago, and today here you are, doing your daily activities in your apartment, you looked over at the clock, it is 12 am. You sighed, how fast the time moves as you started to live on your own. You were just about to turn off your laptop until you heard a knock on your door, you started to get suspicious about it. Who the hell would come over at your apartment at 12 am?

You hesitantly approached the door, you didn't open it. You just peeked through the peek hole on your door, only for you to see a familiar blonde haired male behind the door.

Your eyes widen, you wanted to open the door but you're growing hesitant the longer you stayed behind the door, your hand slowly reaching out to the door handle but you immediately froze when you heard his voice.

"I know you're there," He said, but he sounded so, tired? You decided to stay quiet, staring down at the door handle. "It's okay if you don't want to open the door, i'll just, talk behind the door." He took a deep breath, you heard a shoe click closer to the door.

You were guessing he's now literally closer than before, "..I'm sorry" the first thing he said, making your breath hitched slightly when you heard how hurt he sounded, "I, ..promised I won't let you go.." he continued, you slowly rest your head on the door, "But I did.." you can hear him stutter out a sigh. "If I may be foolish," there was a long pause, making your heart beats faster each seconds pass

You waited for him to continue, "..If I may.. Will you, give me one more chance.. to, hold you again?" He said. You waited, again, but he didn't say anything else. You then heard a shoe click again, "..Ah, I, shouldn't have been that hopeful huh.." He whispered, "I'm sorry.." he apologized then, the next second you heard his shoes clicking away from your door, fading away, slowly disappearing.

You wanted to run, your guts telling you to run to him. When he' still close, and you did, you abruptly opened your apartment door, you ran out barefoot. Chasing your Beloved Mafia. Beloved Golden retriever.

You ran as fast as you could, you didn't care about your foot hurting by this point. You just have to catch up to him before it's too late, and you almost lost him again. You saw him entering the car,

"LUCA!"

The way he immediately whips his head around to you, You couldn't miss how hurt he looked a second ago, his eyes sparkled ever so slightly when he sees you. You stopped running, catching your breath.

But before you could register anything, you heard footsteps coming towards you so fast, and the next second you are engulfed into someone's arms, and who else would it be none other than Luca himself.

Familiar warmth, you reciprocated his hug, tight. You can feel his body slightly trembled as he hugged you, "I'm sorry.." He whispered as he nuzzle his face at the crook of your neck. "Will you forgive me?" You immediately nod your head as you put your hand on his head, running your hand through his blonde hair locks.

"Yes, Luca. I forgive you, I'm sorry too" You apologized, he slowly leaned away from you, putting his hand on your cheek, he stared into your eyes lovingly, him trying so hard not to cry on the spot, he leaned his face close to you, before he kissed you, he whispered,

"Falling for you, would be the last time I fall in Love, My heart belongs to you, and to you only.

I Love you, so much.."

A/n !

There we go ! Another one down ! Hope you enjoy this !

( 4/10 )

#nijisanji en x reader #nijisanji en #nijisanji x reader #nijisanji #luxiem x reader #luxiem #luca kaneshiro x reader #luca kaneshiro #➴ fakesimp writing for you #fakesimp writing #1k followers event !

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beanghostprincess · 6 months

Text

reiju being the only vinsmoke child that has feelings and can empathize is pretty much obviously referencing the whole "unlike boys, girls are emotional" thing that has always been said to disregard women's positions of power and strengths, assuming that empathy is not a strength itself.

from men's pov, girls are: emotional, weak, sensitive, empathetic... they're the ones doing the "simple" house tasks like cooking, cleaning, taking care of things instead of destroying them.

that sounds, kind of, exactly to what sanji is. sanji's "failures, weaknesses, malfunctions..." are literally what is expected to see in women.

they tell him to man up. to be stronger. to stop crying because boys don't cry. how could he cry?! how could he dream?! how could he cook and be nice to others and feel? how could he be a good person when he's a man and men are expected to be bigger than anyone else. he should take up space, not give it to the ones who need it. he should scream at the top of his lungs, deeply and loudly, not gently. he should take and take and take and he should not give because men are meant to own, not to offer. he shouldn't be clever, he should act. he shouldn't be sad or in pain because men are supposed to take it and swallow and bear with it. he shouldn't be hungry. hunger is for the people who lack food and if you lack food you're weak and if you're weak you're not a man. and lack means wanting, but why's he craving something when he should just take it and take it and take it? so he shouldn't eat because eating is meant to be for pleasure only, if you're a man, and if you need it you're weak because he shouldn't need. he should want and take and never need.

he cries when they kick him and he begs when they take someone away from him. because he's weak. because he loses and loses and loses and never wins only because he isn't man enough to cheat. he goes through life asking first, acting second. he doesn't play dirty, like a man should, but lives in a clean state of pureness and delicacy. he has to be clean to cook, of course. clean to be good. but men don't cook and they are allowed to be as bad as they want. but he isn't, is he? because he feels. and feels and feels until it's too much. so much that it explodes and it breaks and his soul shatters. soul that he shouldn't have in the first place because men are a fortress with enough strength to ignore what's inside. and he is weak. he is small. he is hungry.

god, he's so hungry. but not for power or money or women- well, he is hungry for women. for their soothing voices and soft touches and angry glances that are always a bit too much for his poor heart to handle. he never asks much, just a bit of them. crumbs to feed his starving heart. he finds comfort in women the same way a man destined to death would consume his last meal. he's on the verge of falling but he can't, because men do not fall, they are the ones to push. so he's hungry, but he doesn't eat because if he did, that would mean he needs it and then he wouldn't be a man.

men should fight and not defend, but he's always protecting and never fighting. he fights to protect, never himself, always others. he fights to defend his weak self, but it can't be called fighting when the only thing he does is taking. and he learns to take it without a single word or prayer escaping his lips because a man should not do that.

he's different. a failure. a mistake. a good for nothing. not a man. not powerful like a vinsmoke should be. not godly and royal like his family is. machines built to kill and destroy and take and take instead of living. but sanji likes living. he likes breathing and eating and smiling and feeling and giving and giving and giving until he doesn't have anything to offer. he likes being alive and feeling.

so he has to be human, if not only a malfunction in their mom's womb.

human, but not quite, because being human means being like the rest. the definition for human is "not a vinsmoke", in his perception, so he has to be. he is. he is human. he wishes to be, at least, part of the mankind.

man. man. a man. that's what he should be. that's what he is. vinsmoke men are not just men. they're men. and being only a man should be different, but it isn't. it will never be.

he is human, but not really. he's not a vinsmoke, that's for sure. but he's not human, either, he's still different.

because when he gets out of there, the fire of the stove still burns his hands. and he can cook. yes. he realizes he can cook and he can enjoy and live and give and give and it's liberating to know he can and will live. but he can't dream because dreaming of impossible things —like blue, deep, magic seas— isn't meant for rational men. he's following the recipe wrong, all over again, and he doesn't know what the hell is going on if all the ingredients are right.

then he is hungry again. hungry for life. and food, too. and he has never felt weaker and less of a vinsmoke, but more of a human. he bleeds and cries and begs and starves like any human would and yet... he isn't a man. he isn't a real person. and maybe it's still in his blood, despite having ran away, the malfunction in his veins. there is something deeply wrong with him. down to his core.

and he can't figure out what, but he can starve. so that means he's human. but he's not a man. because men don't starve. they take what life gives them and don't need to eat if they can't. zeff is strong and wide and the manliest man he has ever met. and yet he's hungry, but he doesn't eat. he doesn't eat because he gives. he gives food to a kid who doesn't even deserve to eat. he gives food to a kid, not a man, because if he was a man he wouldn't need to eat.

so he just needs to grow up and become a man, he thinks. that's it. time. time. that's what he lacks and what he should take. years.

but he doesn't become a man.

he grows fond of women as years pass by. they're gorgeous. pieces of art. delicate, emotional, calculative, strategic, pretty, soothing, and perfect in every way. they're everything a vinsmoke shouldn't be. they're everything sanji is- wants to be. he isn't like them. he is a man.

he likes watching them and giving them the pleasures he's refused of, because at least he gets to taste the other end of the stick when dreaming about impossible things turns out to be something too emotional for him to handle as the man he has become.

skirts. dresses. high heels. make up.

it must be hard to fight in those. that's why men don't wear them. because men are meant to fight. girls are meant to just exist. they give peace and love to a world full of destruction just by breathing, they don't need to do anything in order to give.

nami's ruthless. like a storm. and pretty, obviously, like a faint, calm rain. gorgeous and bright, like the sun. and she's feminine in such a strong way that it makes sanji shiver and get on his knees quicker than any woman has ever done. because she's different, too. she's a girl but she's not a girl. and she's not a man but she's more of a man than sanji could ever be in a million years, he realizes, because she's not afraid. and men shouldn't be afraid.

sanji always is. he just doesn't show. showing emotions is a cry for help and boys don't- men don't cry.

she's a girl without being like any other girls. so that means sanji can be a man without being exactly like the rest.

and yet, he's still not a man.

because dresses aren't meant or men, and still he can easily run wearing high heels without any problem. and they feel good, too, not because they fit in but because they fit him. they match the dress and the lip gloss. the world used to be black and white but now it's fucking pink and it makes him feel good and brave and strong and he's not afraid.

then the world shatters again. pops like those bubbles again. and again. like the day he lost himself to the pleasurable feeling of comfort he's been fighting his whole life. because he's a man and comfort means not being able to handle pain. and he fought pain that day until he gave in to his desires. but desiring something is only a thing men can afford, and he didn't actually desire it. he needed it. needs it to breathe and to laugh and to live. needs it because he can't handle pain and if he can't handle pain he's not a man.

so he goes back to hiding and wanting and giving and giving but without needing. and he doesn't take, because he's not a vinsmoke, but he is a man, because he only eats the crumbs women throw at him.

it's raining when he hears it, and he can't help thinking about nami. ruthless, strong, gorgeous and feminine nami.

pudding wouldn't. nami wouldn't.

he wouldn't marry himself either, if asked.

and there's gotta be something wrong with him. something that doesn't work. because he's not a vinsmoke but he's not a man and he's not human and he's not even a failure. he isn't a failure because his mom said so. and if someone as honest and good and kind and feminine as her said that, it has to be true.

and yet he's not a man. he looks at himself from far away. he's always seen himself like that. like a soul flying around an empty body. a shell.

and then it breaks.

it's still raining.

luffy is beautiful. and he is a man. but just like nami isn't a girl, luffy isn't a man.

because he dreams, bigger than anybody else. he shines, brighter than the sun. he feels, louder than any woman. he fights, with his whole heart and fists and punches way harder than any vinsmoke. and he's hungry. luffy's hungry due to a promise. a promise lead by loyalty and love and passion and everything sanji wishes he could let himself feel.

the thing is, luffy can feel all of those and still be a man.

if sanji feels, he won't be a man. nor a vinsmoke.

niji called him girl once. because he cried. and the punches hurt, but for some reason the thought of being allowed to feel if he were to be a woman made the wound heal faster.

luffy sees him cry.

and dream and wish and ask and beg and break.

and he's trying to give, but luffy is asking him to take and be selfish. he wonders if taking something for himself will turn him into a man, finally.

but he cries again.

"i want to go back to sunny."

and he's not a vinsmoke. nor a man.

he isn't sure exactly what he is.

and then luffy says: "that's just how you are!" about him being too kind for his own good and too empathetic for him to be considered a man.

luffy smiles when he says it, as if it was the most brilliant quality of the cook.

he's not a vinsmoke. he's not a man.

sanji lets himself dream about what he could be. lets himself feel what he truly is.

he has never liked feeling weak because that's just what women are supposed to be. delicate and soft and meant to be rescued by the prince he should be.

luffy looks at him like he's the most beautiful thing to ever be under the rain. dirty and messy and crying and shattered. but still beautiful. and clean. and pure. and soothing. and everything a woman is and everything he wants to be and everything he could be.

and it's a very complex recipe and perhaps he still lacks some ingredients and maybe he could use less of others and let it cook for a bit longer.

but it tastes good. to dream. to feel. to exist. not like a mistake but as a human.

as herself.

#what is thissss #it's 4 am and i'm still awake writing this bc i had a sanji kinnie breakdown #this was supposed to be a 'reiju has feelings bc she's a girl and so that's like a metaphor for transfem sanji'#but as you can see i got a bit carried away #i'm not reading all of this again if you find any typos just ignore them #i love transfem sanji wholeheartedly #she's so important to me #genderfluid any pronouns sanji my beloved #one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #monkey d luffy #lusan #lusan?? kind of??? the last things are very lusan and i did it thinking about them romantically #whole cake island

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heretherebedork · 26 days

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While I spent most of wedding impossible just being frustrated by it, some of the scenes actually disgusted me. The biggest one was Jihan telling Dohan the first time he was ever ashamed of Dohan was because Dohan "used someone" to cover up being gay. And then when Dohan rightfully points out that he and Ahjeong agreed on this both fully knowing the situation, Jihan says Dohan shouldn't have dragged her into it? And that Dohan and Ahjeong agreeing on this marriage means Dohan doesn't care about Ahjeong? I'm sorry but there is literally NOTHING morally wrong about a consensual bearding relationship. Ahjeong and Dohan are two adults in their 30s who made a decision after discussions and deliberations. Jihan is acting like Ahjeong is some vulnerable child without any agency being held hostage by evil manipulative Dohan. It's like a weird intersection of homophobia and misogyny. For the first time in this show Dohan is actually being selfish, and I don't really blame him! No one is giving him literally any grace. Ahjeong sort of acknowledges that Dohan's feelings after finding out about her and Jihan makes sense. But no one has literally any empathy for Dohan and what he's going through, which has way higher stakes than a man and a woman wanting to date because they just can't live without each other after liking each other for what, a few weeks at most? I already believed the writers have to be straight based on the previous episodes, but this episode makes me think they have literally never talked to a gay person either.

Yeah, the way they treated Ah Jeong's choices and Ji Han's.... enrtire character... made the show painful if you understood anything about Do Han or even just tried to believe the show that they were friends and loving siblings.

Because if you took the show by its actions rather than it's words? You would never believe that Do Han and Ah Jeong were best friends of over a decade or that Ji Han ever loved Do Han and I mean that. I truly do.

But yeah. It's a big thing that there's just no empathy for Do Han and it's based in the idea of never lying and it's not just unpleasant but literally the entire ending was about how life is all made of lies and it's okay and it made no sense with the rest of the show.

Do Han was selfish for about five minutes in the entire show and it was brought on by his own fear of coming out which was totally understandable and then the show just took that away from him too by having his grandfather stop his first coming out to let Ji Han just... throw everything out for no reason, by the way, no reason whatsoever because, let's be honest, Do Han was never going to accept inheriting the business. He was never going to do that. He's a damn artist! Why would be agree to be a businessman!? He wasn't going to!

And then to have all of that, to have his grandfather call him SELFISH for trying to come out and then to just have that all be okay and fine and hunky dory at the end with no issues in the family!? With no actual resolution to any of it? No conversation between Do Han and Ji Han? No final talk with the grandfather? Nothing!? Just Do Han comes out and bam everything is healed because now he's not lying uwu

Do Han was given no grace or empathy and the show basically said 'it's a good thing someone outed him because that meant he stopped lying' and that is just an awful take to share with the world, damnit.

Ji Han was a bad brother and Ah Jeong was a mediocre friend and the show could have done it so much better.

You know what I want?

I want Thailand to remake this,

They know how to do besties and siblings. They could make it work! And they'd absolutely give Do Han a romance.

#wedding impossible #kdrama #asked and answered #in defense of do han #do han defense squad

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spilledcoffeeonthefloor · 1 year

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a lot of months into their relationship, which Andrew didn't admit they were in one,

he asked Neil to stop whatever this was between them.

Andrew didn't want to be something for Neil to fix. cause he knew it wasn't possible. he just didn't want Neil to break in the process of fixing Andrew.he wanted to make Neil leave, before Neil decides to leave himself. he told him he shouldn't settle for the first person he's attract to, he should explore his sexuality and maybe he'll even find out he's into girls.

Andrew had expected Neil's protest, cause he is Neil and that's what he always do,

what he didn't expect was a fight. a fucking fight.

he didn't expect Neil be so sure of what he wants and raise a fucking hell

" i don't know why the fuck do you think i will do something i don't want to."

"yeah because every decision you've made so far was a win. don't be fucking stupid."

"oh huh no no no Andrew 𝘺𝘰𝘶 don't be fucking stupid. you're literally pushing me away cause you think i don't know what I'm doing??"

"yes."

"well, fuck you for doing what you don't want to."

"here he goes, still doesn't give a shit about what he wants."

"this is what i want."

" you don't know that cause you never had the chance to want anything else."

" i do now and i choose this"

"there is no this to choose, that's the problem."

the second thing Andrew wasn't expecting, was Neil's childish, childish, so childish behavior, after they settled for a conclusion that Neil needs to figure his shit out and fuck around.

well, it was Andrew's conclusion, which Neil saw as a challenge and decided to make a hell out of it.

so the next day, when Neil injured his ankle in the practice but insisted to go back to tower by himself,

Andrew told him to not be stupid and get in the car.

and it went like:

Neil first turning his head in Andrew's direction, then takes two steps closer to him, a confused look on his face, then so confused and innocent said "I'm sorry, i don't.." he looked left, then right, looking for something, then looked at Andrew and said "fucking see where the fuck did i asked for your opinion. as much as i know this shouldn't concern you, watch your own shit, just like 𝘺𝘰𝘶 decided to."

then pulled his duffel on his shoulder and left, smug.

all the foxes fell silent for a second. trying to realize what the hell just happened, while Andrew was still looking at where Neil left the locker room.

well, he's gonna be a pain in the ass. Andrew could feel the storm.

"what the fuck?" Dan said. eyes wide.

"did you break up or something?" Nicky asked nerves.

Andrew took his own bag, ignored all the question and told them if they don't be fast enough to shower, they have to walk back to tower, then left the team with their face as a question mark.

Andrew knew it was going to be a long week. and it was.

Neil accepted Andrew's decision, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to be an ass about it, and show it to everybody.

"Oh I'm sorry did i forget your daily reminder to mind your own business?"

"imma get a soda, maybe I'll tell Roland he can come and take his chances with you again."

"yeah i don't know Nicky, maybe I'll just go hookup with the first person who suggests since as some people say, I'M CLEARLY FREE FROM A CAGE."

"Oh kevin did you hear something? i think Andrew just said something but i can't hear him since i choose not to."

"excuse me? did you say don't be a child? we'll I'm pretty much of a child since i can't make my own decision, mr minyard."

"where am i going? England. i noticed I'm incapable of doing basic human actions so I'll go ask my uncle to be my legal gardian and get me a new ID as someone under 18 so he could make my decisions himself."

"Oh my god Andrew i had almost mistaken your behavior for giving a fuck. don't say anything else next time, just like we decided to. wait no, just like 𝘺𝘰𝘶 decided to. yeah."

"wow it's a great day for being incapable in making decisions."

"would you not talk to me? cause when you open your mouth i wanna kiss you so bad but i can't cause you said no so shut up and let me keep my fucking calm."

It wasn't even a week yet, but Andrew has already had enough.

so he kicked kevin out of their room at 3 am and locked the door before Neil could leave the room.

"Ah look you just took the decision of leaving this room from me. tsk tsk." he said after a yawn.

he was still dizzy with sleep. Andrew didn't have any sleep, he was thinking all while shifting in the bed. Neil was a light sleeper, and clearly he woke up with the sound of kevin nagging and going out of the room.

" you're being ridiculous."

"excuse me?"

"stop acting like i did what i did to punish you."

"well, what you did was stupid and here's the result."

"what i did was because you are stupid. Neil you-"

"if i believed for a second, that this was what you wanted, i would accept all of this and close my mouth shut."

Neil was starting dead serious at Andrew. then he swang his legs and got off the bed to stand in front of him.

" if for a second, i knew you really, really didn't want me here, with you, i wouldn't be. but your problem is something else and you're not telling me straight."

the third thing Andrew wasn't expecting, but somehow was, was Neil seeing right through him.

"tell me what's your problem Andrew. what is it with you, and what do you want for and from me."

Andrew knew he could hide things from Neil. it wasn't like it was impossible to keep anything from Neil.

but Andrew didn't want to, and so that was why Neil knew.

Andrew really didn't want to. Andrew wanted to be seen, be understood. for once again in a long long time, Andrew wanted to solve something that is a matter to him, instead of shutting it down and pushing it away.

“Tell me what you’re not telling me.”

Andrew really fucking hated him.

"the liar wants fucking truth? alright, here your truth: you won't last long with a lost cause, josten."

it was a long, long talk.

this time unlike their last conversion, they were talking slow, murmuring even, calm. sitting in front of each other. Neil had a knee pulled to his chest and Andrew had his head resting on the wall behind him, one knee pulled up. it was a long long night.

"i can't be fix."

"I'm not here to fix you" Neil said, looking at him softly, then he shuffled closer to Andrew and put his forhead on Andrew's pulled leg.

"I'm fucked up too. we're not perfect, but we fit. we're gonna heal. i don't want to fix you, damn i don't want to change anything in you, but i want to be with you when you're healing, when you decide you want to let yourself heal. like how you're with me when I'm healing." he brushed his fingers with Andrew's on the floor, while he continued talking and pull down all of the walls Andrew had made around himself.

"I'm not gonna fix you. I'm not going to do anything in your life, I'm not going to change anything. I'm just gonna be there with you when your making a decision. not having a choice while i was younger doesn't mean i don't know how to make one. I'm not here cause i think you're fucked up enough to tolerate me, i choose you cause i want to. i heal with you. i don't want anything from you, i just want to be with you. it's not like I'm gonna leave cause you didn't give me what i want. this doesn't work for us like other people. i already have everything i want."

Andrew still didn't say anything. Neil's words were a heavy, heavy weight on his chest that mede him breath easier instead of choking him.

"unless you really want me to. unless i can feel it instead of hearing some forced lies"

Andrew had prepared himself for Neil leaving, long ago. it shouldn't had sound so horrifying to hear, so horrifying to imagine.

Andrew really didn't want to.

and he said so. pulled Neil's hair and brought his face up and closer to his own, Neil had to put both his hands on either side of Andrew's waist to support his weight, and when his face was so close he could feel Neil's warm breath, he murmured against his lips

"i don't. i wish i did. it'd be so much easier without you."

truth

" i know."

also true

but they also knew, that easier didn't necessarily means better. it actually never did. it was a fact by now. specialy when it came to their 'this'. it was the furthest thing from easy, but the hardship and fuckery was worth it.

was welcome.

so they share this truth in one light press of lips, then two, then three and four and a lot more when it turned to fire meeting fire. equal forces of need.

and Andrew thought he was kidding himself when he thought he wouldn't miss this, cause right now, he didn't know how he went days without kissing Neil.

it kept him sane.

They clung together, kissing hungrily. Wound so close, every breath pressed them together, sending heat in waves through Andrew's core.

he was so mad at himself for lowering the defence he spent days to build. was mad at Neil for being like this, he was mad at their this and was questioning everything and wondering when the fuck and why the fuck it turned to a "this", but now he was in too deep and it didn't matter how and why. he was so mad he wanted to kiss Neil until he suffocates and fucking dies.

Andrew really hated Neil. he hated anything he felt about Neil. they were so much and so deep and felt so forbidden and dangerous. and Andrew wanted Neil to know and never wanted him to know.

so later that night when he was fucking Neil into the matters of his bed, slow and deep, holding him with gentle hands, leaving bruises all over his neck and collarbone, swallowing his moans and buried deep inside him, he hoped Neil would feel it in each thrust, every slide of lips that were hardly parted from eachother, and every kiss against his neck. he hoped Neil would see it in his eyes or in the way he murmured his name against his ear, the way he kissed his forhead. the way he held him in his arms when Neil was all worn out and out of space.

"but next time you pull such a bullshit, I'll really head to England."

"at least now i can kick your ass when you decide to walk back to tower with an injured ankle."

Neil smilies, clearly holding back a laugh.

"i wasn't hurt that bad."

"you looked like a 13 year old teenage girl who would pull her hair out if you told them no again."

"yeah i will be worse if you do that again."

Andrew huffed and rolled his eyes.

Neil shuffled closer to him, and said with a whisper: "whatever you thought at that moment,

your past doesn't say who you are, Andrew. it's part of you, not all of you. it doesn't define you whole, you're not just whatever fucked up thing that has happened to you. i learned that through years of being a new person with no past."

Andrew gave him an unimpressed look.

great. life lessons.

"you talk too much like betsy for someone who hates therapists."

"do you think I'm like my father because i meant to be when i was a kid?"

Andrew blinked at him. Neil mentioning his dad actually surprised him.

"do i sound like betsy now?" Neil looked smug.

"i say that because I've lived that, betsy says that cause she has seen it in someone else. doesn't change the whole point, though."

just hearing and knowing something, doesn't make it easier to act on in or truely believe it. Andrew knew a lot of things through years of therapy, but he still couldn't help but feeling and not feeling things he knew he wasn't supported to. but he also knew that it's normal. it takes practice, energy, time. it will hurt and it won't be easy, and it might not completely heals, it probably won't, but eventually, it'll be better, it'll be worth it.

he hopes.

𝒉𝑜𝑝𝑒, another thing he worked damn hard to accept. to have.

"no, it doesn't, and you're not."

Neil smiled at him. "i know. I'm gonna heal too."

"you will."

they both would heal.

𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒂 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕?

𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘.

they would both heal, together.

#no beta we die like riko.#sighs*#aftg hc #all for the game #the foxhole court #andrew minyard #aftg #neil josten #andreil #aftg fanfic #andrew x neil #kevin day #the foxes #the kings men

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