tommy unfollowed dream on all platforms he needs to ***

holy fuck he did

Why I just realized how he's touching V here??????

18ish coworker told me "youre what i want to be when i grow up" and then promptly a few hours later looked like he was going to have a stroke upon hearing my age because he "thought i was like 16"

wouldn't you like a taste of the onion

🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅🧅

I was just concerned Xolani was the UNLV shooter but I saw the news released his name now. Hope she’s sipping xanaxaritas somewhere exotic. I knew Heil was lying when he convinced her he had a tracker implanted in her, I’m glad she’s away from him. If she were actually missing I’m sure Harvard would’ve posted something about one of their students being a missing person, so she’s probs safe but I just wish she could’ve let us know.

@necroslave

Guy: I didn't even know what kind of bird I was turning into, or how I knew how to do it.

Me: It's an osprey. I picked it because we're right above the ocean and there's a bunch of lakes up in those mountains and they can glide long distances really fast. You can shapeshift now because the normal rules of reality no longer apply to you because this is my dream and I get to say what you can and can't do.

Guy: And suddenly the knowledge came to me - - it was an osprey, and I could shapeshift because the normal rules of reality no longer applied to me. But how did I know this?

Me: Because I'm telling you.

Guy: I don't know how I knew, but I did.

Me: Okay, have fun with that. Do you know how to fly?

Guy: It suddenly occured to me that I didn't know how to fly.

Me: Okay, don't worry, I'll handle it.

Guy: Somehow I knew I'd get there safely.

Me: aww, thanks.

me about my dad 😭😭😭

Glad Brendan Fraser got his acting career back or whatever but every time I hear about this movie it sounds progressively more stupid

Don’t lie and say you’re getting racist asks 💀 my friend and i were the only ones sending in asks… we never said anything racist. You’re clearly trying to victimize yourself. I’ve never seen such a sad ass apology and then you telling us to grow up, etc. in another post.

lol you realize you and your friend aren’t the only ones who have accounts on tumblr right? i’ve gotten racist asks from random anons after the situation, but thanks.

😀…

when I was a little kid at some point I got upset with my parents because I didn't have a crucifix in my bedroom and they did- I was like why do YOU get to be safe from vampires??? you're okay with me getting my blood sucked???? so we took a little trip to the catholic store but the one closest to us was run by a group of nuns that had been moved here from romania. I got a little baby pink cross and this sweet old nun was like 'aww, is this a baptism gift?' and I was like no. I need to be protected from vampires. and she immediately got SO serious and was like 'this is the best one we've got, you'll definitely be safe' and since she was literally from vampire land I was convinced she was like, van helsing. like the whole time my parents had been laughing about how cute my fear was but she literally Knew dracula and was taking my concerns seriously I held this over my parents for so long lmfao