if/then (2.0) - 15 v.2
PSA time: Criticism can be a positive force, especially when it’s constructive, and even more so when it’s given by someone you trust and respect. (Don't be afraid of it!) “But it’s just fan fiction,” the mantra goes, meaning fics don't warrant scrutiny, like "real" writing does. But “It’s just fan fiction,” to me, means I have the ability to go back and reassess, to learn from my mistakes, especially when given sound advice to guide me. I’m writing to learn, as I’m not a writer by trade, so there is no shame in tearing something apart and starting over again. Chapter 15 warranted a serious makeover, so I dove in...the gist is the same but the information imparted differently. I’d forgotten the cardinal rule of "show not tell,” so I’ve gone back and applied that liberally. And here we are, back at Chapter 15, with a (hopefully) more satisfying result. Plus, in the meantime, I’ve plotted out a much better ending (for the story), so it's a win/win situation all around. Edited 6/5.
Previously: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14
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Myka checks her phone and looks toward the door again; no new news, but Helena really should be here by now. The VIP preview started at five, and her public opening at six, but now it's near seven, and Helena’s still missing in action. A mix up with her ticket left her stranded until late afternoon, but after some strong words with the manager, she transferred to another airline. She texted over an hour ago that she'd "be there soon," but Myka's beginning to worry she's run into further trouble.
It's almost laughable, her fretting over Helena’s absence, as she was adamant for weeks Helena not join her. But at the last minute, she changed her mind, unnerved about stepping into uncharted territory alone. Helena convinced her she needed a buffer and that she was the best candidate for the job.
After their initial conversation, Helena called like clockwork every day, but at first, Myka didn't pick up. Ignoring Helena entirely seemed the only way to focus, but her heartfelt messages kept creeping into her head. If she was ever going to move past this, they needed to talk, and sooner rather than later was better than waiting.
Their first few conversations were bitter affairs, little more than Helena listening while Myka listed her “wrongs.” Myka vented a laundry list of frustrations, beginning with Germany and tumbling back through their relationship. But over time, her hostility weakened, allowing Helena to steer their focus towards Myka’s show.
“What do you want,” Myka grumbled, tapping "accept" after three full rings.
“To ask how you're faring today,” Helena replied.
“Stressed out. Super busy. Same as yesterday, and the day before.”
“You have been rather agitated lately.”
“Who’s fault is that?” Myka snapped. It had become a habit to push Helena’s buttons whenever possible, but this schtick was getting old, her heart wasn’t in it as it was a few days ago.
“Were you able to ask for more time off work?”
“Yeah,” Myka answered, a little disappointed Helena didn’t offer her usual apologies. "Leena’s sending stuff I can work on at home, so I only have to go in once or twice a week.”
“Excellent. That relieves much of your burden.”
“True, but there’s still so much to do.”
“Talk me through it. Perhaps I can assist.”
Myka looked across her room at the collection of objects on her desk, the ones she and Abigail rescued from Helena’s apartment. She hadn't told Helena what had happened there yet as she wanted to process her experiences there before inserting Helena's influence. But considering the subject matter, that was kind of counterproductive as she wouldn't be able to keep it from her for long.
“Why didn’t you tell me they were gutting your building?” she asked.
“Are they? I wasn't aware.”
“I think you knew.”
“I’d only heard rumblings. Nothing substantial. Certainly, nothing this soon."
Myka grunted in disapproval. "You couldn't have mentioned it was a possibility?"
"Discussing such destruction seemed cruel after all you’d been through. And I didn't want to alarm Christina.”
When Helena got kicked out, Myka was still a mess, so she could see where Helena was going with that. But Christina was going to find out eventually, whether while walking to the park or from a friend at school. Though she didn't mention it either the last time she saw Christina, probably for the same reasons Helena had kept it from her.
Standing from her stool, she walked across the room towards the group of objects littering the table. She fingered the frayed edge of a worn LP sleeve she dug out from the dumpster, one that once lived on a bottom shelf in Helena's living room with many others. They were visible from the couch while she was lying down, and she'd often wished they had a turntable to play them on. That couch provided so much comfort in those trying times, especially when Dewy would knead in circles and then curl up at her feet.
“I loved that apartment.”
“As did I.”
“Well, it’s gone. Ripped apart. The whole damn thing.”
“How do you—“
“Your couch was in a dumpster. We went inside. Took everything left of you we could carry.”
“We?”
“Me and Abigail."
“Oh. You and Abigail.”
The line quieted.
“Sorry, that was...” Harsh, Myka thought. But no harsher than finding her with Bonnie at the sale.
“A-And what treasures did you gather?” Helena asked, in soft, defeated tones.
“A, um...pen,” Myka said, describing the nearest thing to her. “From that Mexican place on Houston. The one with the soup Christina likes when she’s sick.”
“Pozole.”
“Yeah, that’s it."
“Then it's truly a souvenir worth saving,” Helena replied. Her words were polite but distant as if she was thinking about Christina being sick and her inability to comfort her. Myka wanted her to feel guilt, but over her, not her child. She looked around her collection for something less fraught.
“There’s that pom-pom Christina made at Brownies.” Dust fell to the table as Myka lifted an orange poof of yarn.
“The singular time we attended before she began kempo. It wasn’t for us.”
Myka drops the pom-pom and hones in on another item. “Shells from the beach you said were from Santa Cruz?”
“From our excursion after Claudia’s job interview at Apple. That was…an enlightening day.”
“Tell me more.”
“I shall, one day,” Helena answered. “But it wasn't terribly pleasant.”
“Oh, sorry." Myka searches her collection for something with a cheerier backstory.
“I’m touched you felt compelled to save these trinkets, but I must ask, whatever for?”
“They’re lost memories, like mine, from the fire, and I’m painting them for my show. Or at least trying to, but I’m running out of time.”
“Ah, yes! That makes perfect sense."
“It does? How?"
“Thus far, you’ve been piecing together memories, painstakingly recreating objects you’ve lost. But there’s a distance there as if you're compiling a catalog, much like the registrar you’ve trained to be."
“They’re more than cataloging—"
"But the objects from my flat are extant, and your renderings draw directly from their energy. Mixing our memories with your own adds a richness, describing the limbo we're all experiencing while building our lives again.”
“I, um...” Myka looked toward her easel, at the rendering of the calendar she rescued from the floor displayed there. Various events from that month flashed through her mind, and she realized the amount of baggage she was memorializing. Helena’s interpretation of her motives suddenly made sense, though unpacking them at the moment seemed too intense.
“Can you work on multiple paintings using artificial light?” Helena asked.
“I have been, and it helps. But I need to ship everything at least a week and a half in advance.”
“Ship many as you're able and take the rest with you on the plane.”
“Can I do that?”
“Yes. If you're still using wooden panels, they're not weighty. Pack them securely and pay the excess baggage fee,” Helena explained. “Buy them pre-primed to save time in the studio.”
“I like preparing them myself.”
“You must focus on content. Hire someone to prepare them for you, if that’s critical."
“You’re probably right.” Myka sighed.
“You're allowing too many distractions to get in your way.”
“Who’s fault is that?” Myka said, her bite from earlier gone.
“I’ll refrain from phoning if—“
“No. Call. I might not pick up, but this was...helpful." It was, but everything wasn't sitting right just yet. "We’re still not ok. Ok? You know that."
“I’m acutely aware.”
“As long as you know.”
“My offer still stands, either way.”
“I’ll keep it in mind,” Myka said, then tapped end her phone. That was all the critique she could handle for the day.
Positive news also eased tensions between them, as early on, Mrs. Frederic's bid won the sale. The sizable commission allowed her to step away from the gallery, though she promised to help out when needed. And the residency in LA got in touch before her trip and informed her she made it through to the semi-finalist round.
But she needs to get through tonight before anything can truly move forward, a big art night in Warsaw all round. The city's museums and galleries have openings concurrently, and tonight's crowd has already has exceeded expectations. The director's been buzzing around all evening, introducing her to new faces left and right. By the time Helena arrives, all the activity's made her head spin, and she's starting to zone out.
She spies Helena weaving towards her mid-sentence, cornered by a woman asking detailed questions about technique.
“Forgive the intrusion, but I must steal the guest of honor,” Helena says and hooks her arm through Myka’s. She leads her back across the room towards the entrance, then steps back and sweeps her eyes over her outfit. “Lovely as ever. More captivating in person. Though I did appreciate the preview over the phone.”
Myka blinks a few times, a little stunned by Helena’s actually here. “Y-you look nice, too. You didn't say you were wearing a dress.”
“I’m hardly well put together, but I did try my best. This event is too important to arrive both late and unkempt."
Myka searches for traces of unkemptness, but Helena's close-fitting dress is wrinkle-free. It compliments her frame so perfectly, she finds it difficult to look away. When she meets Helena's gaze, Helena's eyes fill with apology, and Myka's soften, accepting the gesture without reproach. Her show wouldn’t have come together without Helena's help, and she’s glad she’s finally here to share it with her.
"I thought you'd be here earlier. Was there lots of traffic?” Myka asks.
"I stopped by my hotel to change.”
“It’s not that far.”
“Yours was booked. Mine’s further away.”
“Oh. I didn't—“ A patron squeezing between them cuts Myka short.
Helena turns to face a painting on the wall. “This one’s mesmerizing in person. Nothing like the photo you sent. Its surface seems holographic, but that can’t be right.”
“I added mica powder to the pigment, to create a shine.”
“Myka power?” Helena quips, raising a brow.
“Very funny. You know what I mean. Christina said it should be shiny, like the sticker.”
“She is you’re harshest critic.”
“At times,” Myka says, with a smirk. “It is her sticker.”
“But the rendering is yours. And the sentiment an ode to childhood obsessions."
“It's about the resilience of materials in the harshest conditions,” Myka snaps, repeating the line she’s used all day. "But I guess it is a kid’s sticker, so...” She looks hard at the likeness of a curled and soiled Pegasus she created. Helena's interpretation wasn’t her intention, but she can see what she means.
“Have you repaired all the damage from your shipment?” Helena asks.
“Don’t get me started. I can’t believe the crappy repacking job they did."
“Manhandling must escalate the longer goods fester in Customs .”
“If they’d been held up anywhere but London, I don’t know what I would have done. Thank you again for convincing me to ask for Mrs. Frederic's help.”
“In my opinion, the paperwork error was inconsequential. They should never have been held back in the first place.”
“That’s what happens when I don’t double check things—"
“Myka, come and meet Priska," a woman interrupts. She places a hand on Myka’s shoulder and glances at Helena. “Ah, this must be the long-lost Helena. Welcome!"
“I’m pleased to have finally arrived,” Helena says, holding out a hand to shake. "You must be Eva, the director. Very nice to meet you,”
“Likewise,” Eva says, accepting the gesture. "I've heard much about you.”
“All good I hope.”
Eva smiles and looks across the gallery. “Come, talk with Priska. She’s intrigued by the calendar piece."
“There's a lot to be said, isn’t there?”
As they walk across the room, the mischievous look in Helena's eye leaves Myka wary of what "a lot" entails.
Helena shifts into dealer mode as they meet with Eva’s client, her charm on high as they check in with various guests. Myka chimes in when Helena's interpretations don’t line up with her own, but after their umpteenth conversation, she’s happy to let Helena speak for her. Helena mostly gets things right, plus she’s wiped from repeating herself, and watching Helena work, in her favor, is still a turn on.
There's a dinner after the opening, then drinks after that and Myka's running on steam by the drinks portion. Helena stays ever by her side, chatting with guests, refilling her glass, ensuring she's having a good time. It's comforting having Helena there to care of her, as she'd been mostly holed up alone for weeks.
During a lull in socializing, Helena glances at Myka and smiles a smile she knows is just for her. She slips her arm around Myka's waist, and Myka instinctively leans towards her, smiling back with equal sentiment.
As the hours pass, and the wine takes hold, their touches become more intimate. At some point, Myka tunes out the room entirely, and her eyes hanging on Helena's lips. The way they lift and stretch to match her cadence and inflection makes her wish they were moving over her skin. She aches to kiss her, but not here, somewhere private, somewhere alone. She snaps out of it when she realizes that’s not out of the question.
She asks the time, it's late, an appropriate time to leave. They say their goodbyes, then pile into a car someone called for them. Myka gives the driver directions, and when Helena adds a second stop, her heart sinks; it no longer makes sense to have asked her to book a separate room. It was an easy way out if their evening went unfavorably, but she assumed they'd be in the same hotel.
“I can’t wait to pass out,” she says, slumping back into her seat. She closes her eyes as the car drives away.
“You deserve a rest. And you’ll sleep soundly knowing tonight was a great success.”
“It was, wasn't it?” Myka says. She cracks an eye open to peer at Helena and sees she's sitting stiffly, too far away. She slides a hand across the seat and lays it over Helena’s thigh. “I’m glad you came.”
“Thank you for allowing me,” Helena says. She covers Myka’s hand with her own.
The car turns at a light and Myka settles back, closing her eyes again, resting her head on the top of the seat. The car turns and slows after continuing on for several minutes. When it stops, Helena removes her hand.
“Come up with me,” Myka says and squeezes Helena’s thigh.
Helena looks down at Myka's hand but doesn't answer.
"If you want," Myka adds. Was Helena's doting all an act? She did offer her hotel address rather quickly. Maybe she misread her; maybe she wants to be alone.
“I’d be happy to,” Helena says, laying her hand over Myka’s again and smiling as she meets Myka’s eyes.
They exit the vehicle and walk straight through the lobby, directly into an open elevator. Myka presses a button, and as they move skywards, she steps back and examines Helena’s shimmery ensemble.
“Your dress reminds me of the one from our first ‘official’ date.”
“Do you reckon?” Helena glances down at her garment.
“The cut’s the same, but the color's different. Did you do that on purpose?”
“I may very well have,” Helena replies.
The door opens and they walk down a corridor then stop in front of Myka’s room. Myka slips her keycard into the slot and upon entering, sheds her jacket and bag, throwing both over the arm of a chair. She turns and faces Helena, who is standing a few paces away.
“Take your coat off," Myka says, motioning for Helena to come closer.
“We should talk,” Helena says, her tone weighty, beyond the current mood.
“I know, but...” Myka steps behind Helena and reaches over her shoulders, slipping her fingers underneath her lapels. She leans forward and angles her head, so her lips nearly touch Helena's ear. “Let's keep tonight about me.”
Myka tugs on Helena's lapels and Helena circles her arms back, allowing Myka to slip her coat off entirely. Myka throws the coat on top of her own, then pads in front of Helena and threads a finger under the strap of her dress.
“Maybe we can have a do-over,” Myka says, her eyes following her finger as it slides up towards Helena's collarbone then back down to where the strap meets Helena's generous neckline.
“A what?”
“A do-over. For our 'official' first date.” Myka angles her eyes up, meeting Helena's questioning gaze. "We are in a hotel, and you are wearing a dress.”
"So it seems,” Helena says, her eyes falling to Myka's lips. She leans forward for a kiss, but Myka dodges, grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the bed. As they reach the edge, Myka spins Helena around and taps on her shoulders so she falls into sitting position, Helena lays back and Myka crouches down, lifting Helena's foot, slipping off one heel and then another. She removes her own and drops both pairs to the floor while Helena shimmies up the bed until her head rests on a pillow. Myka crawls across the bed until her body is hovering over Helena’s and Helena adjusts so they're in perfect alignment.
“This is where we left off,” Myka says, dipping down for a kiss. Helena lifts her head, but Myka stops an inch short. “No, wait. You sit up and kiss me.” Myka settles back on her haunches and takes hold of Helena’s hands, placing them, palms down, above her knees.
Helena lifts slowly at the waist, palms skimming up Myka’s thighs as Myka cups Helena’s jaw and guides their lips together. Helena's thumbs slide inwards as they reach the hem of Myka's skirt, stretching eagerly towards tender, intimate flesh.
“Hey!” Myka yelps.
Helena freezes. “I thought we were continuing where we left off?”
“It was our first time, remember? You wouldn’t have moved that fast.”
“You haven't a clue what I would or would not have done.”
“Then tell me," Myka says, but kisses Helena her before she can answer, a strategic brush of Helena's thumbs impossible to ignore.
Helena rakes her hands up, over the curve of Myka's hips, and wraps her arms tightly around Myka's middle. Myka presses into Helena as Helena’s tongue parts her lips, the need for closer contact rushing through her like lightning. When they're forced to break for air, Helena places kisses across Myka’s cheek and lets her lips linger near her ear.
“Any flesh I’d longed to touch would have been unclothed immediately.” Helena reaches behind Myka’s shoulders and drags down her zipper. Myka leans back and lifts her arms, allowing Helena to peel her garment off entirely.
"I'd have mapped every arc and every crook; cataloged each utterance of pleasure I'd earned." Helena slides Myka’s bra strap over the slope of her shoulder and places a soft, lingering kiss on the rise of her breast.
“Wait," Myka says as painful memories trickle back. “If you wanted me so badly, why did you leave?”
“We’ve talked about this,” Helena says, laying her forehead on Myka's chest.
“But I still don’t understand,” Myka says, tipping Helena's head up, needing to see Helena's eyes as she answers.
“I thought tonight was to remain about you.”
“It was but…why were you so scared that night?”
“I’d only just learned I’d be deported.”
“That’s not it. Not enough for you to bolt. It was something else, something out of your control.”
“Myka...“
Myka sits back, distancing herself, brow furrowing as she replays the details of that evening. “You asked a lot of questions about Mrs. Frederic. But you already knew who she was, didn’t you?”
“Her reputation precedes her—“
“No, you knew her. You’d met her before. Were you working for her then?”
“I hadn’t met her until the day I was called into her office." Helena's eyes narrow and Myka shrinks back. She hit a nerve, as she did so often over the phone. “I think you're over-tired, and perhaps a bit tipsy,” Helena says, taking hold of Myka’s hands and drawing them towards her.
“I’m going to change,” Myka says, slipping her hands free and sliding off the bed. She walks towards the bathroom and after entering closes the door.
She leans on the counter and stares into the mirror, seeing what Helena saw. Her eyes are red and puffy, her hair fairly frazzled, but it's been a really, really long day, so she's not surprised. But maybe, just maybe, she's overreacting as she is both overworked and overtired.
She begins pulling out pins and thinking over the situation; was Helena spying on Macpherson for Mrs. Frederic all this time? And was Bonnie clued into the situation before now? Helena said Mrs. Frederic knew her, or rather knew Emily before London, but did she mean “knew of” or “knew her personally?” And if so, wouldn’t she have known the "other" Emily first? Unless she only knew "this" Emily, Helena's Emily, the one from the trial.
She yanks the last pin free and runs her fingers through, combing her hair out into rough, curled strands.
If Helena was telling the truth and she wasn’t Emily before their date, then it is possible, at dinner, she hadn't met Mrs. Frederic yet. So maybe she's jumping to conclusions, mixed up between Claudia's research and Helena's murky past. It is easy to fall into old patterns, so she probably should chill out until they can talk for real. They have a whole three days to hash things out, and it's best to do so with a clear head.
She brushes her teeth and gives her face a quick wash before swapping her clothes for a t-shirt and shorts. She hesitates before opening the door, how does she want to handle this? If things hadn’t gone sour so quickly, they’d be otherwise engaged right now. And she'd rather be doing that than confronting Helena. Maybe it's best to pass out and deal with it tomorrow.
When she opens the door, Helena's standing near the entrance, her coat and shoes already on.
“At least you didn’t sneak out this time.”
“I was certain you wouldn't want me to stay.”
“No, I do." Myka walks toward her suitcase and rummages through, pulling out a fresh t-shirt. “Here. Go change.”
Helena removes her coat and shoes then moves toward the bathroom, taking the t-shirt from Myka’s hand as she passes.
Once the door closes, Myka climbs onto the bed and burrows under the covers. She breathes deep breaths and closes her eyes, hoping to calm her nerves before Helena emerges.
Too few moments later, the bed dips down, and Helena sits motionless for what seems like an eternity. Myka doesn't move either, unsure of how to proceed, waiting for Helena to set the tone.
“Are you asleep?”
“No. Not yet."
“May I say something?”
“Sure."
“Our past may be irreparable, and our future...unpredictable. But our present is something we hold agency over.”
Myka rolls onto her side and bends her arm at the elbow, propping her head up with a hand. “How long did it take you to come up with that?"
"Since you first entered to bathroom."
"It's good. And I get it. You mean tonight is what we make it.”
“Yes,” Helena says. “You’d asked this evening be kept about you and I'd hoped you'd allow me to hold fast to that. You deserve a grand finish that only I can deliver. Let's end your successes on a high note."
“Selling yourself, instead of my paintings? Classy.” Myka huffs a short laugh.
“In a manner of speaking. Is that of any interest?"
"Kinda." Myka shrugs.
“Then I clearly misinterpreted your earlier intentions." Helena looks down at her hands.
“No, you didn't,” Myka says. “I'm interested. But it wouldn’t fix anything. And we’d still need to talk. A lot.”
“And we shall. Eminently.”
Myka slides her hand across the duvet and brushes a thumb over Helena's wrist. She may regret this tomorrow, but it is what she wants tonight.
Helena lifts her legs onto the bed and stretches out next to Myka, angling her body so they’re lying face to face. She cups Myka’s jaw and brushes a thumb over her cheek, looking into her eyes as if asking permission. Myka covers Helena’s hand and slides it over her lips, kissing it then laying it on the bed. She then eases Helena onto her back and straddles her hips, planting her hands on either side of her head. She dips down and kisses Helena as Helena's hands skim up her thighs, fingers sliding under Myka's hem with zero protests.
-TBC-
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Lucy and Viv Learn Judo
S1;E22 ~ February 25, 1963
Synopsis
When a rash of burglaries in the neighborhood makes Lucy and Viv feel unsafe, they learn judo for self-protection. The tactic backfires when they teach it to their sons, who use it on one another.
Regular Cast
Lucille Ball (Lucy Carmichael), Vivian Vance (Vivian Bagley), Jimmy Garrett (Jerry Carmichael), Ralph Hart (Sherman Bagley)
This is the final appearance of Dick Martin (Harry Conners). The actor was contracted for 13 episodes, but only appeared in 10, two of which he has no dialogue. Martin’s contract, however, was paid off in ful and there was no animosity about his departure. Harry was never mentioned again.
Candy Moore (Chris Carmichael) does not appear in this episode, although her name is spoken as if she is upstairs.
Guest Cast
James Seay (Mr. Sheldon) played a police officer in the 1962 film What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? which was mentioned in the previous episode “No More Double Dates” (S1;E21). This is his only appearance on “The Lucy Show.”
Mr. Sheldon runs a Judo and Karate studio in Danfield.
Ed Parker (Student #1, below right) was a Hawaiin-born actor and stuntman who was the founder of American Kempo Karate. He was often referred to as the ‘father of American Karate’. He was Elvis Presley's karate instructor and acted as his bodyguard for the later few years of his life.
Louis Coppola (Student #2, left) was born in 1937 in Trenton, New Jersey. He was a protege of Ed Parker and hired for “The Lucy Show” after another actor was unable to do the stunts. He is the author of the book C.B.S The Chucklehead Broadcasting System.
Both Parker and Coppola use their own names in the episode.
Hey! (Alvin) Jerry’s friend Amy Schaffer’s pet dog
Alvin is staying with the Carmichaels for a month while Amy is away.
A dozen other dogs of various breeds appear in the final scene.
The episode was filmed in January 1963.
Lucille Ball had previously done some judo moves in her 1938 film The Affairs of Annabel. She would later flip Chuck Norris during a demonstration on Dinah Shore's talk show “Dinah's Place” in 1970.
Judo is a Japanese grappling sport derived from jujitsu while karate is primarily a striking unarmed martial art. Judo, however, is used primarily as a sport, while karate can be used practically for combat. In Louis Coppola's book, he notes that the reason the writers titled the episode “Lucy and Viv Learn Judo” instead of “Lucy and Viv Learn Karate” was so 'karate' wouldn't be confused with carrots, diamonds, or the carotid artery! On “I Love Lucy” the producers had similar concerns when titling “The Adagio” (ILL S1;E12) which was really about “The Apache” dance - afraid it would infer the Native American tribe instead of the French dance.
In his book, Louis Coppola remembers Lucy letting director Jack Donohue know who really was boss.
He also writes that at Desilu, any photo that was not flattering to Lucille Ball had a black circle stamped on her face, making it un-usable.
Jerry's friend Amy Shaffer's dog Alvin is staying with the Carmichaels. Amy was previously mentioned by Jerry in “Together for Christmas” (S1;E13). In the series premiere, Harry's dog Tiger (above) was seen, although Harry was not!
Lucy calls her son Jerry by his full name, 'Jerome', when sending him to his room.
Viv reads a report in The Danfield Tribune:
“Police recommend that all residents of the Danfield area take extra precautions to guard against prowlers. In the past five weeks homes have been broken into and many valuable articles stolen.”
Viv wishes she knew Judo take-down moves when she was married to her ex-husband, Ralph.
Although many episodes of “I Love Lucy” were concerned with urban crime (treated in a comic vein, of course), this is the first time that Lucy and Viv express concern for their safety living in the New York City suburb of Danfield.
When Ed Parker has his hands around Lucy’s neck, she remarks that his strong thumbs would be ideal for Tiddlywinks (aka Tiddledy Winks), a game in which the object is to flip small discs called winks, into a pot, which is the target, by pressure applied with the thumb and forefinger.
Lucy mentions Jack the Ripper, the serial killer who stalked the Whitechapel district of London in 1888. The name has become synonymous with violent crime.
Lucy says that she and Viv have lived together in the house for five years. This would mean they have been housemates since around 1958.
Callbacks!
Jerry's Black Eye is reminiscent of “The Black Eye” (ILL S2;E20) which ended with all four principal characters sporting shiners (center). In the final moments of “Lucy Goes to Sun Valley” (1958) both Ricky and guest star Fernando Lamas end up with black eyes.
The dynamic of mother Lucy, young son Jerry and small dog Alvin is very similar to the dynamic of Lucy Ricardo, Little Ricky, and Fred the dog on “I Love Lucy.” Lucy Carmichael says that Alvin will have to sleep in a cardboard box in the kitchen, just as she did with Fred the dog.
Fast Forward!
In “Lucy is Her Own Lawyer” (S2;E23), the neighborhood dogs keep Lucy and Viv awake with their barking - but unlike “Lucy and Viv Learn Judo”, they remain offscreen!
Lucy Carmichael’s date Frank Winslow (Clint Walker) broke a column in Lucy’s apartment in half when he was startled awake and went into a reflex karate chop in “Lucy and the Sleeping Beauty” (S4;E9). Lucy asks “Is that karate?” Lucy and Viv took Judo and karate lessons in Danfield, so she should recognize the moves.
In “Lucy and the Good Skate” (S3;E1), Mr. Mooney says the his wife could not accompany him to the country club dance because she had to attend her karate class, conjuring an image of the unseen Irma Mooney as a physically intimidating woman.
A still from the episode was incorporated into the photo montage on The Official First Season “The Lucy Show” DVD box cover.
In “A Home Is Not An Office” (HL S5;E4), temp secretary Miss Quigley (Susan Tolsky) tells Harry that at secretarial school she learned typing, shorthand, and karate!. She demonstrates a few moves, much to the surprise of Kim and Harry.
Susan Tolsky previously played Kim’s friend and neighbor Sue Ann in “Kim Cuts You-Know-Whose Apron String” (HL S4;E24), an episode that was centered around the single young women learning self-defense from a book.
Blooper Alerts!
Release the Hounds! When Lucy blows the dog whistle the first time only Alvin comes in. When she blows it the second time, a dozen assorted dogs coming running from every direction, despite the fact that the only open door is the front door in the center.
“Lucy and Viv Learn Judo” rates 3 Paper Hearts out of 5
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