#Just kidding children don't do drugs and such. And don't read more tags | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shegatsby · 1 year

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The Last of Us

Warnings; Post apocalyptic world, violence.

Words; 1.159K

A/N; Hello everyone. Thank you for liking and sharing, sorry for any typos. Don't forget to let me know what you think. Enjoy! SMUT in future chapters, hang tight lol

TAG LIST IS OPEN!

Summary; Ever since childhood you had to survive, you were born before the disease so you kinda remembered what was it like, to have a hot shower, clean food etc. You didn’t know what happened to your parents because they were on a vacation and left you with your grandma who passed away during the chaos. You were 10 when it happened, a child who had to be a woman over night. What happens when you are a brink from killing yourself and find purpose again?

Chapter Three- New Beginning

As promised Tess was outside with this kid, Ellie. ‘’Why does the Firefly care about you?’’ Tess asked curiously, maybe she was the daughter of the FireFly’s leader. ‘’I can’t say.’’ She replied shortly. Before Tess could ask anything else she turned to her left to see Joel and this girl, she had black jeans and a hoodie, her backpack seemed full. ‘’Finally.’’ She said, sounding bored. What surprised Tess and Joel was that when Ellie saw Y/N she immediately ran to give her a hug, ‘’Y/N!’’ she said in joy, smiling ear to ear, ‘’Ellie! Oh my God! I was worried for you. Where have you been?!’’ She knelt to give Ellie a big hug, Ellie was one of her students when Y/N came here 6 months ago, together they would play and read. Even though Y/N had no children and had no desire to have one, Ellie was like her daughter, there was a profound bound between them. ‘’Let me look at you.’’ Y/N said and caressed her cheeks, ‘’I’m glad you are safe.’’

Tess didn’t want to bother anyone but she cut in, ‘’Alright girls, we gotta keep moving.’’ Y/N stood up to meet Tess’s eyes, before she could say anything they were stopped by a FEDRA soldier.

‘’Everyone get on your knees!’’ the soldier screamed, ‘’Listen, I can get you more of the drugs and money, let us go.’’ Joel said bargaining, he never liked this soldier anyways but now their fate was in his hands. ‘’I told you man, don’t go out in the dark. Get on your knees. Right now!’’

Y/N looked at Joel for an answer, he shook his head slightly and they all turned their backs and knelt on the muddy ground. The soldier took his detecting machine to see if they were infected, Y/N, Tess and Joel were clean, just as expected but before the soldier could look at Ellie she pulled out her pocket knife and stabbed his leg. Y/N was shocked to see Ellie doing something like this, why would she do that?!

Joel immediately got up from the ground, the soldier was holding the gun at them and cursing in pain but before he could attack Joel took the liberty and tackled him like a hockey player. He was punching and punching the soldier that Y/N could see the blood spreading from the head, Joel’s knuckles were covered in bruises and blood, he turned to face them. His eyes were pleading, trying to explain why he did it but no words came out. In that brief silent moment Tess saw a red light coming from the tool which the soldier used it to check them if they were sick. Green meant the person wasn’t infected, red was… Tess yelled to get attention. ‘’No, I’m not sick!’’ Ellie begged, Y/N had to take a step back, was she really infected? Ellie showed them her arm, it looked like she was bitten but the scar was old.

‘’This is three weeks old! No one lasts more than a day, look!’’ Ellie said. Y/N approached to get a closer look, she was telling the truth. But how? How could she survived that? Tess grabbed Ellie by the arm, ‘’We gotta go Joel! Let’s go.’’ And together they began their journey.

They found a place to hide and sleep for the night, ‘’The kid should sleep few feet away from us.’’ Joel said, he still didn’t trust Ellie, ‘’She could turn and attack us while we’re sleeping so I’m taking the first watch.’’ Ellie rolled her eyes and ignored them. She placed her bag under her head and turned her back at them, clearly she was upset, Y/N knelt and gave her temple a kiss, ‘’Good night. I believe you.’’ She whispered which made Ellie smile.

Y/N didn’t feel like sleeping so she joined Joel and let Tess rest. All night neither of them spoke of what happened earlier, how Joel found her committing suicide or the situation with Ellie. When the day came with its shiny sunlight they made a plan, Ellie told them that there is a base camp of Firefly at west so that’s where they decided to take her even though Joel didn’t like the plan at first he needed a car battery so this was the plan which would take him to his brother.

Everything was working smoothly until the museum, the road was blocked so they had to go through the museum. This was the very first time she came face to face with a clicker, it was a chaos. Ellie was bit again but since she had some kind of immunity to it so Y/N used a white cloth on her arm.

It was afternoon when they reached their destination, Y/N and Elli were walking behind Joel and Tess, what really suspicious was that there were gears and military vehicles but insides were bloody. The smell of heavy iron hit her nostrils, she had to swallow to not throw up. When they walked inside the building all of the soldiers of FireFly were dead, it looked like a Mexican standoff. Tess started to curse and look around, there were guns and tanks of oil, ‘’Where Marleen was suppose to take you?!’’ she walked to Ellie, she was action as if she had no time. Something was off about her, ‘’Can you please calm down?’’ Y/N came between Ellie and Tess in a very protective way. ‘’Tess what’s wrong?’’ Joel asked with caution. There was a brief moment of silence, ‘’She is infected.’’ Ellie said, at first Y/N didn’t believe because she didn’t see that infected at the museum attack her but everything happened so fast. Tess showed them the bite on her throat which was spreading, everyone knew that there was no going back. Y/N could see the unbidden tears forming in the corners of her ocean blue eyes, even though she didn’t know Tess as a friend it looked like she lived hell and survived and obviously going out liked this made her frustrated, she approached to Joel and Y/N and when she saw Joel take a step back Y/N could vividly see that her soul died right there.

‘’This is your chance.’’ She looked at them deeply, ‘’Get her there. Keep her alive, and you set everything right.’’ Her voice broke at the end, Y/N couldn’t help but share the sad truth, Tess was bitten and she was going to sacrifice herself for them, at the moment it seemed like she was saving them but this would have enormous impact on the bigger picture, for humanity. Finally the humanity had a chance after so long, ‘’Go!’’ she screamed at them as the infected were punching the closed doors of the building, Joel gave a last look at his long time friend, there were sadness coming to the surface in his brown eyes, he grabbed Y/n and Ellie’s arm and didn’t look back.

TAG LIST; @psychomanias

@stitchattacks

@anxiousbeech

@elmontsmile

Thank you for reading. :)

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bamababygirl7 · 1 year

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🥰💞 I was tagged by the awesome and super gorgeous @angelsleaze

1. Are you named after anyone?

I wasn’t named after anyone. My name is pretty unique (I’m pretty sure my parents were on drugs lol)

2. Last time you cried?

Yesterday when I saw a post from @mister-s0013 about a 4 year old dying after an exorcism so I googled it and found way too many cases of this happening. Children are my soft spot.

3. Do you have/want kids?

I am a proud boy mom 💙💙💙 I wanted a little girl so badly, but after having nieces, I am so thankful that I didn’t have a daughter. I think they come out of the womb with an attitude lol

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Me sarcastic??? NEVER lol

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their sense of humor (if they have a dark sense of humor and/or love memes, they are automatically my bestie) Also, one of the first things I notice is how their mind works. I am drawn to people who are brutally honest like me (don’t just tell me what I want to hear) and who are passionate about certain things but not judgmental and like to discuss different subjects even if we don’t agree on them because I learn a lot from listening to different perspectives on subjects. (I’m a huge nerd and love learning)

6. What's your eye color?

My eyes are hazel. They are usually more green, but it depends on what I’m wearing, and they can get really blue when I cry.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I like both. It really just depends on my mood. I love being scared, but not when I’m all by myself. I love movies with twists. I get bored with predictability (probably because I’m so random and impulsive lol)

8. Special talents?

NSFW answer 😈😈😈

SFW answer 😇😇😇 I think I’m pretty good at coming up with ideas and designing the shirts and tumblers that I make. I like my things to be unique, so I can’t bring myself to buy premade designs on Etsy (even though it would cut the time of making things in half 🤦🏼‍♀️)

9. Where were you born?

In the hospital.

10. What are your hobbies?

COLORING 💓💓💓 Collecting stuffies, Designing and making shirts, tumblers, paddles, keychains, etc… Listening to music, Reading, Watching Disney movies and anything that has to do with GLITTER ✨

11. Have any pets?

I have the sweetest doggy in the whole wide world named Luna.

12. What sports do you play or have you played?

I was a cheerleader 😬

13. How tall are you?

I am 5’6”

14. Favorite subject in school?

My favorite subject in highschool was Bible (I went to a Christian school, not by choice. I begged my mom to let me go to public school and she refused 🙄🙄🙄) because I loved aggravating my Bible teacher by asking a million random questions that would distract him from his boring lectures. (ie… Is it a sin to have oral sex before I’m married? Is it a sin to take shrooms that we find growing naturally in the cow pasture? etc.) And if his answer was yes, I always asked for an explanation as to why. He would always divert from his planned lecture and answer my questions (the class was very appreciative lol)

15. Dream job?

I actually do what I love now… designing and making things. Although, it would be nice to get paid just to sit around and color with glitter pens all day lol. Due to getting pregnant as a teenager (Thanks mom for refusing to discuss sex other than to say NO sex until you are married 🙄🙄🙄) I could no longer go away to college like intended to become an attorney, so I stayed in the town I lived in and got my degree in Accounting. 10/10 do NOT recommend (It is super boring and due to ADHD I can’t sit at a desk and deal with numbers all day everyday and during tax season, everybody and their momma wants you to do their taxes for free and get them back thousands of dollars 😂🤣😂) Long story short, life is too short to be stuck in a job that makes you miserable, so I am super thankful to be doing what I love❣️

Tagging these lovely folks (No pressure if you don't want to participate) @missathesiren @pure-hell2 @drinkyourmilf @dominant-dominion @thebeardiswriting @anotherboredaustralian @mister-s0013 @c4c4ine @iecholouder @nerdy-boytoy @naughtybeardedguy

#bamababygirl7🥰💞#tag game #fave mutuals

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amazinglyegg · 2 years

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any general headcanons for carrington ?

he is . my favorite fictional man rn . hope you don't mind me taking advantage of the fact that you like him as well and your asks always being open BKDCJSXBSN

Dude I LOVE seeing you in my asks dw!!! I haven't thought about my blorbo Carrington in so long I'm going to have fun with this <3<3<3

Doctor Carrington Headcanons!

Okay let's get this out of the way: he's not just an asshole for the sake of being an asshole!

The dude's so damn stressed all the time! Especially after what happened at Switchboard, he feels responsible because he's the second in command

That's one of the reasons Des trusts him so much. He's not good at lying or recon work but he is good at self-dicipline, planning, and being the only mature one.

Although I feel like he's always been a bit moody, even before all that

Given that everyone other than Des and PAM are basically children with guns (looking at you especially, Deacon) he ends up feeling like a parent to most of the other agents

And he really hates feeling like a parent

This is a bit out there so bear with me, but at some point before he joined the Railroad he managed to help a child. Maybe one who survived an Institute raid on a settlement? They were the only survivor and he took them under his wing.

Despite his best efforts the child died from a preventable cause, like an infection

It really hit him hard and despite his trauma around helping vulnerable people (especially children) he became a doctor so others wouldn't have to suffer like the kid did

Then the Railroad contacted him and you know the rest

He prefers working in the Railroad over anywhere else, though. He's very introverted and appreciates the familiar faces and quiet work environment, plus most agents tend to respect him purely because he's been working there for ten or more years

He has dyslexia. Don't know where this headcanon came from. I think it was me projecting onto him but then I made it Canon In My Mind when I vaguely mentioned it in my Carrington fic (heed the tags if you're gonna read)

He gets headaches often due to his dyslexia and the ridiculous amount of paper work he has to go through (where does Des even get all that paper and ink!?), plus a fair share of sleep deprivation, dehydration, stress...

Deep down he worries a lot for the other agents. If Glory dies (I refuse to let Glory's death be canon in my mind, hence the if) it permanently messes with him and his self worth

He gives off angry Sudoku player vibes. Glory or Des will be like "chill out it's supposed to be relaxing" and Carrington is losing his mind like "where the HELL do I put the DAMN FIVE"

A lot of fanon says him and Deacon genuinely hate each other but I really disagree

He respects Deacon a lot and recognizes that he does a lot more behind the scenes than anyone knows, but he also realizes just how much of a martyr he is and just how little he cares about his own health

In the past, whenever Deacon came back hurt or sick, Carrington would try to convince him to slow down, stop running into danger, and even open up about his problems. Needless to say it didn't work.

They've got something alike to a friendship going, though. Deacon teases him, all in good fun, and Carrington doesn't point out when he's limping around HQ, or when he "borrows" a stimpack or two from his desk. He just leaves out painkillers and antibiotics in hopes Deacon with "borrow" those, too.

I'm very... partial on his relationship with Tom or Des

I feel like Tom's got A Lot Going On and it's kinda fucky that the Railroad seemingly caused his schizophrenia (?) to develop and ignored it because they needed him?

Although if anything it sounds like Carrington was worried about his health and Des was the one to ignore it, hopefully out of ignorance and not purposfully. I can't imagine Des knowingly letting Tom fall into drug addictions and paranoia, and Carrington is vocal enough that he probably would have argued with Des if he knew it was getting that bad as well

I like to think he keeps a close eye on Tom either way. He's always trying to pick up books on mental health because he's mostly focused on physical health in his day to day life, and he's taught Tom some grounding strategies over the years.

#i know this wildly jumps between depressing and funny IM SORRY #poor guys just kinda fucked up and surrounded by goofy idiots who are also kinda fucked up #more people need to be talking about him I cant think all by myself #especially that part with des ignoring toms health?? i feel like it'd be interesting to go into when it comes to the railroads morality #focusing on synths over humans is one thing... actively harming their own agents to help their cause is different #OKAY im DONE RAMBLING im SORRY #fallout 4 #railroad #doctor carrington #desdemona #deacon #tinker tom #headcanons

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frasermints · 5 months

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i told my friend i was going to keep track of how i felt when starting auvelity since she's been on ketamine for a year and is thinking about switching so i think i'm just gonna make a tag

i just took my first dose. literally two minutes ago. i told myself i wasn't gonna google anything or read the insert, because i always do that and i always psych myself out or invent side effects that aren't there. i did both anyway. i found a positive study and sent it to my med student friend, and i read the insert to make sure i could take it with/out food.

apparently, it causes birth defects. severe birth defects. there is a registry of people that are on auvelity to ensure that you don't have children while on it so that the company that produces it can't get sued.

i know that, like, being mentally ill comes with life side effects or whatever. it's expensive to be mentally ill. it takes time out of your day and it fucks with your social life and it gives you a window into a different side of life that a lot of people might not understand. most of my ""normal"" friends don't respond in ways that i deem "acceptable" when i talk about mental illness. i'll talk about trauma or my symptoms or discrimination and they always approach it through a lens of injustice or solutionism when sometimes i really just want validation or empathy.

there is no empathy when it comes to chemicals. i can't have children while on auvelity. that's just a fact. i cannot get pregnant on this drug. this drug that my psychiatrist basically touted as a miracle cure. and listen, i love her, she's a little insane, i consider her a friend that also gives me drugs. but i feel like... i feel like i shouldn't have to choose.

for a long time i didn't want kids. vehemently hated the idea. rejected the notion that i'd ever change my mind. but now i can't see my life without them. maybe it's the mid twenties baby fever, maybe it's the stage the rest of the locals in my age range are at, but holy shit man. jay brain says i needed to be pregnant, like, yesterday. and to know that that's not an option? maybe anymore, maybe forever, maybe not until my reproductive organs are shot to hell?

because no one's 100% sure what testosterone does to the uterus and ovaries. especially not to the "not 100% perisex uterus and ovaries". like, i have fucked up anatomy as it is. my mom wasn't able to get pregnant for seven years after she had me. i've miscarried once already. the amount of unprotected sex i've had in my life shows that i am not an easy target to hit. but it's like... the delusion was nice to live inside of, you know? there are so many seahorse dads out there. SO many dads have given birth. i at least wanted the option ykwim?

anyway. my stomach hurts and i'm tired. gonna edit a little bit more of sincerity is scary and finish the leafs game before i go to bed. we won 7-3 against the rangers at MSG tonight but i'm replaying it anyway since i was at work

#my post #auvelity diaries

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

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Intro and masterlist

✨about me ✨

this is a mature blog, I trust all minors to be responsible and avoid everything marked NSFW!

NSFW sideblog: @pervstash-spencer

Hi! my name is emily, I'm 23 she/they

Capricorn, bisexual, non-binary, autistic, and I have fibromyalgia ✌🏻 overall just a fun time y'know.

ao3

i love: supernatural, star trek, marvel movies, criminal minds, this is us and grey's anatomy !!

Accepting requests for Spencer Reid x Reader fics currently

all my tags are listed below if you want to see other posts about said fics, also here is my Spotify for the fics <3

Dad!spencer Masterlist

First times Masterlist**

all links to my fics below the cut!

Updated: July 28th, 2021

** for smut

~~ for angst

Spencer Reid x Reader fics

Hypothetically**~ Ao3 | Tumblr -- 27 chapters, complete. 89k

reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast.

friends to lovers, case of the week style story

touch me**~ Ao3 | Tumblr 5.8k

Spencer is incredibly touch-starved and hard on himself since coming home from prison. Luckily, the medical examiner in this small town is really good at reading people, and exactly what he needs.

amethyst you so much P1 Ao3 | Tumblr 6.4k

Spencer has had a crush on Y/N since she started working at the bau. She only ever works the night shift after a case, handling all the aftermath gracefully. one night, Spencer stays back and they strike up a conversation about rocks, causing their feelings to dig a little deeper.

of quartz i will P2** Ao3 | Tumblr 6K

after 2 years of dating, Spencer decides it's finally time to get Y/N something to match her Amethyst bracelet.

Amoreena**~ Ao3 | Tumblr Completed 83k

Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Seven* Tumblr WIP

Summary: Spencer’s been married to Y/N for 7 years now, they have 7 children together and each one is going through something different. Spencer’s always wanted to be the best dad, now he gets to figure out how to be.

the guy at the rock show Ao3 | Tumblr 5.6K

Y/N lost their parents when they were 17, finding a new home and solace in Penelope Garcia and taking the Garcia name. They're the top forensic specialist in D.C, in a band and they drive a motorcycle... not to mention they are madly in love with the cute doctor who works with their sister.

journey to Camelot** Ao3 | Tumblr 3.8K

When Penelope introduces Spencer to online games, he expects to be spending his nights alone. Yet, somehow every time he comes back from a bad case, he logs on to chat with the ever so lovely user FairlyGwen and getting a lot more than just a helpful tip from her.

Exploration** Ao3 | Tumblr 4.7K

request: season1/2 spencer walking in on reader while she's watching porn in their shared hotel room

Expedition** Tumblr 1.2K

Summary: there's a first time for everything... including joining the mile high club with your boyfriend on the work jet.

10 Days Ao3 | Tumblr 1.4K

it's spencer's first father's day and he's extremely emotional about the little love of his life that he's only just met. he spends the day with his baby, Edwin, and his wife, crying and happy about how wonderful new little lives are.

ain't it fun?** Ao3 | Tumblr Masterlist 11K

reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.

I'm not kidding!** Tumblr 6K

Spencer keeps getting little notes from a secret admirer, they're nice and sweet at first as they tease him with their crush until she's sending him notes about all the dirty things she wants to do to him

Perfect Timing** Tumblr 1K

spencer and reader have been spending the last month together in the same hotel room during a pretty brutal case. tension has been rising and she's completely in love with him.

what happens when they both think the other won't be back for a while and they want to shower?

Redamancy** Tumblr 5.4K

the co-op librarian at the FBI Academy has been secretly crushing on the smartest agent in the Bureau, TA, Doctor Spencer Reid, and he's been crushing on her too.

Being Neighbourly** Tumblr 1.9K

Request: reader is Spencers neighbour and she can hear him masturbating every night that he's home how do you have her deal with that?

Professional Hair Dresser (Ph.D)** Tumblr 6.4K

summary: after Spencer's knee injury, he starts visiting a salon every week to get his hair washed

36 Questions to Fall in Love Tumblr 8K

Summary: When Derek bets Spencer that he cant make someone fall in love with him in a week, he doesn’t expect Spencer to marry the girl the next day

New Romantics** Tumblr 23k

Summary: She needs help studying for her Case Exercises at the Academy, He needs a date for the annual Banquet... they just so happen to be neighbours who aren't afraid to lend a helping hand, or in this case, a helping kiss.

Million Dollar Man** | Tumblr WIP 5k so far

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea** | Y/N version | 1-4, 5-9, Epilogue 25.6k

Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

Spencer x Ethan

Ruin it.** Tumblr 5.4K

Summary: Spencer never had sleepovers as a kid, so now that he's an adult he's always sleeping over at Ethan's house, ad he'll take any excuse to crawl into bed beside him.

Warnings: mutual pining, love concessions, blowjobs, handjobs, anal sex (both top and bottom spencer in this), childhood friends to lovers

400 Celebration fics

Reid Me Tumblr 2.5K

Spencer has noticed a beautiful woman at a spirituality booth at the farmers market every Saturday for almost a whole year now. he finally asks her to give him a reading.

mystery of love Tumblr 700

Spencer surprises his wife with a trip to Italy.

Spy Kids Tumblr 900

Spencer and Y/N's kids think that they are secretly spies and request a mission story before bed.

a father's greatest weakness Tumblr 1K

Princess Y/N is betrothed to the Viking king in an effort by her father to keep the peace between their countries, he doesn't expect her to join in the fight to free Scottland.

Luke x Reader

Best Dad Ever 2.8K

Request: angst with a happy ending, reader and luke have been divorced for a few years but have a child, she tries and tries to fall out of love with him but he's around so often that she can't

Spencer x OC

Sugar Honey Ice Tea** Ao3 | WIP 9/10 chapters complete 25.6K

Fix-it-fic: Dr. Beth Pattinson and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Intro to Criminal Minds: Why They Did It Ao3 | Tumblr WIP 6K+

Spencer is teaching a 7-week seminar on the most interesting criminal cases, explaining their actions to understand why they took place. Only, not everyone in the audience is a student.

Criminal Minds x Mindhunter AU

Spencer x OC Peggy Carr

Franklin x Reader

Voulez-Vouz** | 3.2k

Summary: in a small town, everyone knows each other… or at least they think they do.

Warnings: porn with plot, smut, Dom reader, Sub!Perv!franklin, making out, teasing, face sitting, oral (female and male), hand jobs, overstimulation, prostate message, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, let me know if I forgot anything.

Chip x Reader

forever is the sweetest con** | 6.2K

Summary: Reader’s dad is a carpenter; sometimes he takes on apprentices and sometimes, if they’re lucky, they get his daughter’s number at the end of their training. Chip Taylor, however, hits the jackpot when her father invites him over for one of her homecooked meals.

Warnings: reader’s mom passed away, mentions of parental death, strangers to lovers, random acts of kindness, mutual pining, falling in love, steamy make-outs, oral sex (male and female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk, sub!chip, food mentions, praise, love confessions.

Raymond x Reader

Alone Together ** | 2.4K

Summary: Raymond moves into a haunted house and ends up sleeping with the ghost who lives there... only he doesn't know that when you fuck a ghost you also become one.

Warnings: details of suicide and murder, blowjobs, pegging, bottom!raymond, top!reader, becoming a ghost, major character death.

Star Trek Masterlist

Star Wars fix it fic

Supernatural masterlist

thanks for all the love, as always,

-Emily <3

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buddielove · 3 years

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Hi! I'm a gay fan of 911 and I have a question about the whole Buddie fandom. As much as I like Buck and Eddie, it's frustrating that a HUGE part of the fandom is pushing for these two characters to get together instead of putting energy into supporting Hen & Carla and Michael & Dave. Not to mention Carlos and TK in Lone Star. Can you explain to me the appeal of wanting these two men together? Wouldn't it be more interesting to see two heterosexual males just be able to bond in a non-toxic fashion? That's something we don't get to see often on television.

Hey! This is MAD long lmao I am so sorry! You caught me on a day I felt like talking! Also this took like a year to answer you lolololol. This does have a few ʻhot takesʻ so please be warned! So like in this essay....

So first I am also apart of the LGBTQIA+ community, so I do understand how it could come across as a fetish or being non supportive of the current canonically LGBTQIA+ characters, however I think a lot of the interest around Buddie and the want for them to be confirmed as a couple is how they are being written. Me personally I knew since s2 e1 Buck and Eddie were written not as rivals but as two people who would eventually become friends, but it wasn’t until the Christmas episode with the elf assuming Buck was Chris’s dad and Eddie’s partner that I was like ‘hold on!’ because I was really hoping Abbey would return and I didn’t see Eddie as a possible Buck live interest because of that. The elf’s comment wasn’t played off like most other shows would (think Dean and Sam arriving anywhere in Supernatural) it made me go back and look at the other episodes to see exactly how Buck and Eddie were being framed/written. And as we have moved into further seasons I think there has been a shift in how Buddie is being written, in s3 it was very much like two people progressing into a deeper friendship then the blood clot/lawsuit gets in the way and they both have to deal with emotions surrounding that, then Buck’s response to Eddie being trapped (we see how is he when Boddy is trapped in a fire WITH A GUNMAN, it’s emotional but not to the point is is with Eddie), even the love interests feel very pushed on us and there’s so little banter between Buddie about their gfs and how they feel about these new beginnings. It feels off, not like a friendship in the slightest, more like two people trying to force something and not wanting to deal with any other feelings. Then when Eddie gets shot and reveals Buck is Chris’s legal Guardian in the event Eddie dies, that’s huge, and he did this after only a year of knowing Buck (I have friends with kids. I’ve known one of them for FIVE years, I’m at their house every week, the kid calls me family. I’m person #10 on the list of ‘who gets my kid if I die’, not #1 lol) It just feels like it’s all building up to something, and people are getting tired of waiting for that something! We’re all emotionally tired from the past two years, and probably from many shows queerbaiting us and this is something that could happen, seems to be something the actors are ok with and the fans want. So why do they keep drawing it out. This isn’t about us demanding they ignore the chance to write a healthy platonic male friendship, or forcing two characters to be gay, it’s about holding the writers to what they’ve implied and seeing what could come of it.

Also think of it like this; If Buddie is confirmed it will still be a good example of a healthy friendship which then developed into something else, like Booth/Bones! Showing the natural progression of friendship to relationship that happens a lot in real life. It’s two men who previously (on screen at least) have only been with woman, but now they have an emotionally connection with someone which they then develop and explore. This could be 911’s first nontoxic depiction of two gay characters coming together, because sorry not sorry the canon couples aren’t perfect (which does humanize them) but they also reenforce harmful troupes that plaque the LGBTQIA+ community, which I’m sure you understand: TK was a drug addict, who only got with Carlos at first cause he was hot and sex was TK’s new addition (all gay men are sex addicts who do drugs and sleep with anything that moves). Carlos was ashamed and wanted to keep TK on the downlow (poc gay men want to pretend to be straight but have free access to gay sex). Hen cheated on Karen seemingly the first chance she got (lesbians can’t handle monogamy when pushed, and cheat on their long term partners). All known and documented troupes that happen far too often.

I’m not saying Buddie is some gay jesus ship that’s gonna save the entertainment industry but if done right it could prove to be one of the few healthy depictions of two men getting into a gay relationship we have. If they plan it out correctly, show us the relationship development, like they did with Maddie/Chim for example, Buddie could be used as a positive example of a gay fictional relationship (I really could go into depth about this. I probably should tbh).

As for not supporting Hen and KAREN, or Michael and DAVID, I think fans do support them! The writers don’t. If you read fanfics Henren and Michael/David are featured heavily in many fics, and ik some people might say ‘well they’re only there so Buddie can talk about their gay side!!’ but both these couples have their own fans and fanfic tags! They aren’t just plot devices in Buddie stories. There is a huge side of the fandom that supports Henren and wants to see more of them and their family. Same with Michael and David, during the episode where Michael and Bobby team up to find that plastic surgeon who was working illegally many people where ecstatic that we were getting more Michael/David content and that David was getting more than a couple lines. But sadly it seems like the writers only want to delve into these story lines when they need filler, they even miss opportunities to include these other LGBTQIA+ characters when it makes sense;

(Someone came for me about this but I am going to bring it up again)

When Chris is sad and wants more human connection, instead of bring Harry + Michael/David and Denny+Nia+Henren back into the picture (and yes I understood at the time the pandemic was bad (lmao still is!!), but all the actors at some point would have/had crossed over into each other’s ‘bubbles’, so ALL the actors would have been exposed to each other so getting the children together with adults they had ALREADY been with during shooting wouldn’t have been a super spreader event) but instead they brought in Ana after only two on screen dates and pretended like it was a logical thing for someone who’s up to that point been extremely careful with their child.

They really could have pushed the ‘118 is a family!’ message here and included the canonically gay supporting characters, and the lesbian main character(s) but they did not and instead chose to push the Ana/Eddie coupling even though they hadn’t properly developed it yet. The writers themselves don’t seem to care about developing their canonically gay characters and including them more than they have to but fans are continuously developing Henren and Michael/David with hc and fics.

I’d like to use your logic against you for a second, in s1 we have a very healthy, platonic friendship between Chim/Bobby but that got written out to the point they are more like boss/employee unless the scene calls for them to seem closer, we now have Bobby and Michael friendship but again we hardly see Michael. On Lone Star we have Owen and Judd as a really, really good example of a healthy male friendship but we see Judd more often with Tommy now then we do with Owen, and in s2 it’s overshadowed by Owen trusting Charlie from Twilight and constantly getting fucked over! Why can’t the writter just be happy with these happy, healthy, emotionally well male-male friendship they’ve already included and expand upon them. There’s enough drama because the show literally involves burning buildings and people’s lives being at risk from some natural/man made disaster ever 12 seconds. Does it need to have so much interpersonal conflict and male peacocking??

#Buddie #Please donʻt get offended by anything in this!!!#These are JUST my opinions which MAY change the further we get into this show!!#ALSO IT IS JUST A TV SHOW!!!! PLEASE BE KIND TO ME AND TO EACH OTHER

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harcidian · 3 years

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meridian

12 years since The Promised Day, Amestris reopened its gates. Ed and Al’s research became a global sensation: a new rule by the laws of the East and the West. It was their promise to help those who suffer from alchemy, one that would have spared the life of a little girl they couldn’t save. Little did they know, the world isn’t only run by alchemy. Greater threats await as their knowledge expands, and they begin to realize every promise is a debt to be paid in the future. Starting when Roy was promoted to Führer, Riza handed him an envelope. It was her resignation letter.

Chapter One: The 520 Cenz Promise

Until the day he reaches his goal

continue to AO3 | continue to FFN

Chapters: 1/80 (may still change)

Rating: Teen and Up (may include politics, belief systems, mentions of drugs but nothing descriptive)

Categories: General, F/M (but I will include other relationships in the future)

Characters: Riza Hawkeye, Roy Mustang, Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, Winry Rockbell, Edward and Winry's children, Team Mustang, Olivier Mira Armstrong, Rebecca Catalina, Alex Louis Armstrong, Mei Chan | May Chang, Ling Yao, Lan Fan, Jean Havoc, Vato Falman, Heymans Breda, Kain Fuery

Relationships: Riza Hawkeye / Roy Mustang, Edward Elric / Winry Rockbell, Mei Chan | May Chang / Alphonse Elric, Lan Fan / Ling Yao

Genre: Action/Adventure, Dark Fantasy, Medieval Science, Science Fiction

Additional Tags: Worldbuilding, Fuhrer Roy Mustang, Emperor Ling Yao, Edwin's Kids, mostly in Riza's POV, subtle romance like in FMA but a bit more suggestive, Astrology, Alkahestry, Automation

Warnings:

Canon-Typical Violence, Mentions of Drugs, Implied/Referenced Drug Addition, Politics, Belief systems

Notes:

This is my personal love letter to the series since the manga is now 20 years old, and FMA:B has first aired 12 years ago.

And this is the product of 12 months of planning (still ongoing tbh).

I have dissected the mangahood for hints and clues on what might happen after the series, and I'll be happy to share my analysis in a bit (fma mangahood predictions link)

Disclaimer: I’m not saying this is how the canon story should continue, or that this is absolutely 100% accurate in characterization, plot analyses, among other things. These are just my crazy headcanons whenever I’m in class (lmao) so take it with a grain of salt.

And if you do not like post-canon stories, you don't have to read this!

Also, based on the premise, this story focuses more on worldbuilding than romance. So, the relationships included in the tags serve as the relationships that this story includes, not the main thing this story is about. Although some of the conflicts revolve around these relationships.

Enjoy!

#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #riza hawkeye #roy mustang #edward elric #royai #alphonse elric #I just wanted to post this before Arakawa shows us her new fma content on July 12th LOL #fma fanfic #meridian by hanamuri #meridian #yes 12 months #fullmetal alchemist #royai fic #fma 2021 #fma post canon #fuhrer roy

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super-unpredictable98 · 3 years

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Finest Brazilian Literature | The Umbrella Academy AU

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy Pairing: Klaus x Vicky (OC - The Eighth Child’ Verse) Word Count: a little over 500 Warning: Strong language

(Masterlist)

"Then when she looked in the mirror with the dress made by the spider, it shattered in a million pieces from how beautiful she was..." I explained with a sigh.

Klaus stared at me for a few seconds before taking a drag from his joint, I don't blame him for having a hard time understanding this story, it's really weird when you think about it, but it is one of the finest pieces of Brazilian literature...

When Klaus spotted the book in my room, he was intrigued by the cover: a crocodile with long blonde hair and red lips next to a very skinny, short man wearing red shorts with a matching hood, hopping on his only leg and smoking a pipe.

The story in question was Sítio do Picapau Amarelo, which roughly translates to "yellow woodpecker farm", a classic Brazilian series of books for children written by Monteiro Lobato and published from the early '30s until the late '40s. Mom used to read it to me all the time and it really helped me learn Portuguese when I first started.

"Hold on, let me see if I get it," Klaus sat up straight. "She's a kid, right? She's seven and she married a fish? Wearing a wedding dress made by a giant spider that lives underwater with her spider kids."

"Yeah, but he wasn't just any fish, he was a prince, the prince of Águas Claras."

"A fish prince..."

"Yeah," I nodded. "More like a prince fish actually."

"Alright, what does that have to do with the talking ragdoll?"

"Emilia, the rag doll, belongs to the girl, they were together when Narizinho was feeding the fish and met her future husband.

The prince had the idea to call the snail doctor and have him prescribe the doll a talking pill. The only problem was that the lazy frog guard ate them all and they had to open his stomach to get them out. Emilia took one and suddenly she was able to speak, the issue is that she wouldn't stop... Much like someone I know."

"Excuse me?" he clutched his chest, mock sadness all over his face. "What are you implying?"

"They describe her as a "little faucet of bullshit", it does sound a lot like you," I chuckled.

"Wow, and I thought we were friends..."

"Don't be so dramatic, you know I think it's quite charming the way you never shut up and rarely think before you speak."

"This whole story is so insane."

"I'm not even halfway through, you're not even at the part when the doll decides to become a marchioness, so they pretend one of the pigs at the farm is a marquess who will marry her. They even create a tiny corn cob man who's supposed to be the father of the groom, but he accidentally ends up spending too much time in the library and becomes a literal genius."

"Wait, what?" Klaus cackled uncontrollably. "The guy who wrote this was on some serious drugs, I've never been high enough to imagine something like this."

Tag List: @elliethesuperfruitlover @firstpersonnarrator @spanishmossmagnolia @a-ghoulish-tale @seanfalco

#the umbrella academy imagine #the umbrella academy fanfic #the umbrella academy klaus #the umbrella academy #tua klaus #tua fanfic #tua #klaus hargreeves #klaus hargreeves x oc #fanfic #the eighth child #drabble

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final-girl96 · 3 years

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Will be posting on wattpad more than anything but I will try to post here as well and new chapters will be posted on Fridays

Nick Clark x Reader

Warnings: smut, blood, gore, mention of drug use, death, swearing, some anxiety, murder, fighting, it's Fear The Walking Dead

A/N: if any of the warnings bother you please do not read. I will put an warning for smut just so you know so if want to skip it you can. Please like, comment, reblog it helps keep me motivated. Feed back is appreciated but please be kind. If you would like to be tagged let me know. There is a link to my wattpad up top as well.

I wasn't going to post this week but I was able to get myself straightened out then got busy yesterday and forgot to post. So here is the next chapter.

Chapter Eight

Alicia was still looking out the window for Mr. Dawson or Mrs. Cruz. Madison had gone to the kitchen to get a glass of water for Nick to give him more of the oxy and she dimmed the light that was above the table. I sat on the couch along with Nick. We heard a sound and Alicia looked over at Madison who had walked back into the living room. "What was that sound?" Alicia asked. "I don't know but it's gone," Madison told her. Madison walked over and hand Nick the pill "What did Mr. Dawson do to the Cruzes?" Alicia asked. "He's gone," Madison said handing Nick the water.

"Yeah, but the hell did he do?" Alicia asked as Nick set the pill on the coffee table on the coaster and started to crush it up. "I don't know. We're safe inside, Okay?" Madison told her. I watched as Nick crushed the two small white pills into powder. Madison looked at me and I stood up off the couch stretching. "Oh, come on, Nick. Please, just swallow them," Madison told him. "No, it takes too long to absorb. I'm not there yet," Nick said. "You're not there yet? Or you're there but don't want to admit it?" I asked and he looked at me. "I'm not there yet," he said. "The idea is to wean you off the pills, no to get--" Madison started to tell him before he cut her off. "Um, who's the expert?" Nick asked. She didn't say anything and went to get up before he spoke again. "Hey, mom, I need more," he said. "No shit. Later," she said standing up and started walking away.

"Well, how much do we have?" He asked. "We have enough to get you east. Don't worry," she said. "And then?" He asked. "And then you howl at the moon," I said. "Look Travis Will beautiful here. We'll go," Madison said. "You sure?" Nick asked. "Nick. He's coming," she said and walked off. I walked over to Alicia and put my arm around her shoulder and she wrapped hers around my waist. I and Alicia have always gotten along, even though she thought I was stupid for dating her brother. We talked about everything together. "You okay?" I asked. "Yeah," she said and leaned her head against mine.

Nick had taken the oxy and laid on the couch his legs in my lap as I sketched in my sketchbook. Alicia sat in the chair reading. Madison came back out to the living room holding a board game. "Really?" Alicia asked. I looked down to see her sitting Monopoly down the coffee table. "Yep," she said. We all got on the floor and sat around the table. "I'm the top hat," Madison said. "Car," Alicia said. "Shoe," Nick said. "Thimble," I said as Nick got into the little bag with all the pieces. "Dad was always the shoe," Alicia said. "Daddy wouldn't mind," Madison said. "My mom always took the dog," I said as we set the game up. "So, what do you want to be the thimble?" Nick asked. "No. I'm the car," Alicia said smiling. "The car," Nick said. "I'm the thimble!" I said laughing as he handed the pieces out. "All right," he said.

"Thank you," Madison said as he handed her the top hat. "All right, who wants to go first?" She asked. "Youngest to oldest," Nick said. "So Alicia, me, Nick, and then Mady," I said. "I'm gonna wipe the floor with you guys I can feel it," Nick said. "This game evil, dude. Kindergarten capitalism," Alicia said. "Yeah, but it's fun to kick Nick's ass," I said and he nudged me a little. "Shut up and roll," Nock said and Alicia picked up the dices and rolled starting the game off.

We were all laughing as it was Nick's turn to go. "All right, all right, all right. One, two, three, four, five. And that's Boardwalk. And I will buy that, please," he said. "Oh my god," we groaned. "All right, all right," Madison said and gave it to him since she was the banker. "All right, Boardwalk sold," she said. "$400," Nick said and handed it to her. "Do not treat the banker like that," Madison said. "Thank you very much. And that's the pair," Nick said. "You always get all the good ones," Alicia said "All right. Just because you have that doesn't mean you're going to win," I said. "You're looking at a very rich man, baby," Nick said wiggling his eyebrows. "God, no!" I said and pushed him a little.

"Oh, look at that. I'm crushing you guys. You're pathetic," Madison said. She went to roll but stopped as we heard gunshots in the distance. "Mom," Nick said. She rolled the dice and moved her piece seven places. The light joyful atmosphere had disappeared and turned to since until Alicia spoke up. "How long are we going to wait?" She asked as she picked the dice up. "We can go to sleep soon," Madison told us. "Yeah, I can't sleep when I'm waiting for someone to come home," Alicia said and Nick looked up at her. I leaned into him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder before kissing my temple. Silence once again fell over us for a couple of minutes. "I'm having a major case of déjà vu right now," Alicia said and the silence fell over us again as we all just sat there.

We were playing Monopoly as we waited for their dad to come home. It was me, Alicia, my mom, and Madison. Nick was in rehab at the time. Then again as we waited for my mom to get home from work to pick me up. Neither of them ever made it home. Nick and Alicia's dad fell asleep behind the wheel on his way home in 2004 and was killed in the accident and my mom was hit head-on by a drunk driver two years later in 2006. My dad was killed while fight over in Afghanistan in 2002.

The Clark family was all I had left. Madison and my mom went to school together and had been best friends since they were kids. They made a promise to each other after both of their husbands were gone, if something were to happen to either of them the other would look after their children. Madison kept that promise to my mom. She took me in, my mom had her will changed so Madison would become my legal guardian if anything were to happen to her. Madison didn't treat me any different from her own children she treated me like her own.

#nick clark smut #the walking dead #the walking dead fanfiction #nick clark x reader #fear the walking dead nick #nick clark #fear the walking dead fanfiction #feartwd #fear the walking dead #twd fanfiction #twd daryl #twd fic #twd family #twd

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catchmewiddershins · 3 years

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ahh ok ok, it's good !! i'm only halfway thru but mAN, i'm hooked HAHA, and abt the type, mmm i don't really have a preference tbh, i just take a look at the blurb and if it's interesting to me, then i send a message to my mom n she decided whether to buy it or not

as for recs, i've only gotten into reading recently, but i have a few that i've been wanting to read

- agatha christie seems to be pretty popular, and i think she writes on horror, so i'll look into that

- there's also this guy, anthony horowitz, and i'm very interested in reading a book of his, the word is murder (it's out of stock on our local bookstore, so i'm just waiting on it)

- one of us is lying and one of us is next is popular with my friends and classmates, so i'm interested in it as well

but do you have any book recs? i'd like to get more into it, but i haven't been able to find a lot of good ones ; i dont mind the genre, i just get at what seems interesting to me, so feel free to drop your favorites :D

HMMMM IMMA CHECK THAT ONE OUT :DD

ok so what you got sounds good I'll give you some basic recs because I want to explore the genre a bit more myself lol (my sister also really wants to read One of us is Lying lol)

Classics (not old but like... famous):

- an Inspector Calls - a play that's quite famous, it's a script so it's all dialogue and the story is revealed through an interrogation it's a classic for a reason :) - An inspector comes to the house of a rich family in the (oh dear) like mid 1800s? Anyway he claims that they are all guilty of driving a working class woman to suicide and the whole story is slowly revealed it's so GOOD

- Oedipus Rex - ok this is an old classic but :)))) what can I say - it's another play and it's good! Technically it's a tragedy but the plot of the tragedy is Oedipus trying to solve a mystery - chances are you know the ending but that's the point, knowing the ending creates tension as he tries to figure it out and you wonder when the ball is going to drop

- Sherlock Holmes - I... I haven't actually read these but one of my best friends has and she KEEPS bugging me to read them so it's on the list because it's a classic and also my bestie likes them

- Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde - Pretty short! And so so good! You probably recognise the story and it has it's fame for a reason... t's written from the POV of this Judge? I think? I can't remember his career, anyway he becomes involved in these murders and he decides to find out who's doing it and then track the perpetrator down and it's also sci-fi and psychological I believe anyway definite recommendation

Lower level (so like ages 11 - 15? I mean that's the age I was when I read them so):

- The Mysterious Benedict Society series - honestly? I want to reread these because a television adaption is coming out and I'm mad about some of the cuts they made - it's about a group of children recruited to stop someone from brainwashing the world

- the Lady Grace mysteries - definitely around the 11/12 age when I read these so they're quite an easy read but what can I say I still like them and easy reads are good and fun - it's set in the late 1500s and the main character is Grace, goddaughter to Queen Elizabeth the first, and she becomes a private detective for the Queen for various murders happening around court while outwitting the official (male) detective who thinks that her observations are worth pretty much nothing - she also has to keep it a secret from the other Maids of Honour (like ladies in waiting but... nobles)

- Orphan Monster Spy - ok I loved this when I read it at... 13/14/15? Anyway it's about a Jewish girl in WW2 who goes undercover at a school for nazi's children to gather information it is very good

- The murder most unladylike series - OK this I read at 10/11/12 as well but just because books are for younger audiences doesn't mean they aren't gripping and they're often more creative! My sister is reading this atm and she loves it ehe - it's two girls at a boarding school that start solving mysteries together

Higher Level (so like... 15/16/17? When I read or have been recommended and all that jazz):

- Oryx and Crake - This is written by Margaret Atwood which means it's good. The woman is a legend! Handmaid's Tale COULD be considered thriller or smth like it's sci-fi but like... cmon so that's another rec by her. My English teacher and my mum keep recommending me this but I haven't started it yet... general consensus is it's good though!

- Jane Harper - She's an author who's mysteries are apparently pretty good? I have one and they all seem to be popular sooooo a recommendation :)

- The Declaration + sequels - These are written by Gemma Malley and ALL I CAN REMEMBER ABOUT HOW GOOD THEY ARE is that when I was taking my GCSE mocks (I was 15 half of us were 16) we had to do revision in an exam hall and um anyway I read this book and the Resistance instead and did not do any revision I was hooked - not really a mystery or crime technically I don't think but definitely that vibe - Basically it's a future world where children just aren't a thing? The government has designed drugs for longevity and kids born outside of the law become 'surplus' and are all housed together but this girl meets a boy from outside (I cannot for the life of me remember if they get together or not) and they escape and go to investigate the government and where these drugs are coming from

I'll add more if I read them... IDEA! This list will have a tag (#wid's book recs! and #wid's mystery recs!) so I'll add recs to it when I get them so it'll be constantly evolving and I'll do the same for other genres at some point! I had a few more that I wanted to add but I forgot and the cat is being clingy

#🕰️ deiseil #clockhand: maia 💥#hour hands!#wid talks books #wid's book recs!#wid's mystery recs!

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ano-po · 4 years

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THE THING THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND, is that how people in authority could use this law to red tag random people. Girl so pretty I wanna touch her boobs? Good thing she posted anti-government joke 3 years ago. Detain her. Guy who looks useless, nobody's gonna miss him, let's detain him so I could practice my gun. Detain them but they don't appear to be terrorist? What a bad rep for me, I'll just kill them then. That youth will run against my kid in upcoming SK election. Oh, what should I do to ruin her reputation?

Good lord, I love frolicking around the mountain to feel nature, that mountain was also said to have NPAs. But hell, I'm not NPA, but the police will have a reason to arrest me, maybe touch me 'accidentally' while they're at it. Or kill me and tell the media I tried to snatch their gun.

You think I'm exaggerating? Look what happened to Kian. Just an innocent boy, just caught the eye of an officer. Suddenly he's given a powder and told to run so he could shoot him? To what? To have a death count? It happened a lot during drug war. It happened before, it could happen again. (Rest in Peace, Kian)

The law may mean well, but what the youth are scared of is how the police will use this as a reason to abuse. BLM movement in USA is showing how the police are straight up bullying those that hurt their eyes, or to pass time. Old records and cases are popping up. Please. Understand. Not all policemen and women may be rotten, but one in ten still is, and that one in ten could influence more, and that one in ten could kill more than one life for the sake of enjoyment. As long as someone is crazy, someone will die.

Until the government don't reform the limits of police power, or if they don't acknowledge the fact that this could happen, then good god we will all die.

The adults don't see this. That woman who said she's also an activist? Lies. She clearly hasn't read the law thoroughly, or have not read it in a police's perspective. Just typical 'Boomers about to destroy their children's life" again. Linda, just shut up.

I'm not anti-duterte or pro-duterte, heck that, but I'm anti this very specific law. I'm not an activist, but some of my friends are. I'm scared for them.

And why I'm listening to Windows welcome theme music is none of your concern.

Addition: She just called protesters part of militant group. See? Activist my ass.

#philippines

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 4 years

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In My Mind x 05

Firm foundations and sturdy hands

still crumble under tyranny

---

"Where exactly are you taking me," you slur through toothpaste, spitting it in the sink before rinsing. It's still early, 8:45, but he's fast, putting on clothes in his room while you take the bathroom.

"Well you need clothes, I ain't forget."

"And hair products, a curling iron, satin cap, my own body wash," you add using his mouthwash. It's good he has extras of the basics. The bathroom door is cracked so he can walk in and hand you a stick of deodorant which you jam under your arms and set in an empty drawer with your toothbrush for your own. "Okay, v-neck come through."

Full business casual, he comes up beside you in the mirror brushing his shaved sides down and you walk out to put your shoes back on, wearing the same clothes from yesterday.

The way out of the building is just as smooth as the way in. You take a staircase to a display where his glossy burgundy BMW sits with tinted windows and custom tags.. his trophy.. and then you get in. He presses a button and you sink through tinted glass looking out at the view until you reach ground and the wall goes up behind you allowing him to back out onto pavement.

"I'll never get over that," you mumble looking through the side mirror to watch the opening shut. His own private entrance. A 'sky garage' he called it.

"Nia.."

"Hm.."

"What do you think about Black Wall Street?" He's driving somewhat normal now, only six miles over the speed limit and you haven't felt like you were going to fall through the door yet which is a plus.

"Black business, black mecca."

"It's been the pinnacle of black successful business. If you look at Tulsa, Jackson Ward, Durham.. We were at the height of self-sufficiency. We had bankers, builders, mechanics, electricians, cooks, shoemakers, tailors.... hairstylists. Anything you needed, you'd get from your own people and it worked! We were putting money in each other's pockets and building wealth with each other, taking pride in our blackness instead of tryna be the third white race... you know Asians are the second."

"I was with you until that last one."

"Nia, you know what happened to all them cities?"

"They were destroyed."

"By who? Did we destroy ourselves?"

"Boy. Who are you, Dr. Umar?"

"That's what you think?"

You touch the small black, red, and green beaded necklace with the wooden brown carved Africa pendent sitting in his cupholder.

"Umar Johnson is an ignorant misogynist who uses his platform to spread false information while robbing his followers. That's what you think of me?"

You blink. "No, I only meant the superwoke part."

"Unlike him, I have a Ph.D and I don't think AIDS came from gay black men, but it was intended to decimate the black population."

"I get it, don't compare you," you mutter watching the Oakland city views through your tinted window. People are out, strutting and power-walking on sidewalks and jogging across streets to work.

"Who destroyed our black wall streets?"

"White people," you sigh giving him what he wants.

"Never forget that the US National Guard united with White Nationalists in 1921 to bomb and shoot up the Greenwood District of Tulsa. They destroyed 35 blocks of self-sufficient black business, murdering an estimated 200 people and injuring more. This is what happens when you and I pull ourselves up by our bootstraps in this country. Jackson Ward? Socio-economic assault. They built a highway right through it and put their own businesses around it to undercut our efforts. They chased us out and sent us to housing projects then filled them with drugs. You see where I'm going with this?"

"I think I'm starting to."

"Nia, you've seen my dreams, you've seen where I've been. I've stood on both sides and seen firsthand how easy it is to infiltrate and decimate an entire city, a region even with the right intelligence and firepower. Hell, I've even pulled the trigger and I'm not proud, but it was a necessary evil for me to see that it doesn't matter how strong you build or how pure your intentions are. When a government decides that you've surpassed the ceiling of poverty they've designed specifically for you they'll wipe out a generation, drug you up, and restart you from zero. Do you understand how deep this goes?"

You finger the beaded necklace in your lap. Of course you understand everything he's saying, but what he's expecting from you is a different story and you won't agree to anything prematurely.

"Where's the end," you ask. How will he know when he's accomplished this great mission he's been on for most of his life? It's all he breathes. Will he even survive without the fight as his purpose? Keeping your silence, you watch his profile as he turns left.

"Africa. Africa was the start and it'll be the end, but in the meantime we need to provide legal and physical protection here, major city by city. We need safe houses, secured and armed.. built to withstand the force of a nuclear weapon."

"How will you manage that?"

"How long will it take is the question." Pulling up to a building standing among other buildings, this one is as big as a high school with lettering across the front reading Wakandan International Outreach Center. Temporarily, you put the fact that you're supposed to be shopping to the back of your mind. You've heard of this place on the news, but somehow you didn't put this together. He parks in front of some well manicured bushes in a space marked for the CEO.

"You're the CEO?" You look around at the cars in the lot, the WIOC bus, and to the people walking inside.

"You ain't know? Ms. See Everything?"

"If I saw everything, I'd have figured this thing out between us. Don't ya think?"

He steps out and adjusts his tie. He's got the grey v-neck sweater vest, the white collared shirt underneath. The navy chinos.. and the navy oxfords.

Getting out, you spin showing off the same outfit you've been wearing and his brows raise subtly as you walk in beside him. Immediately he's rushed with greetings from the three people at the front desk, two guys and a girl, all wearing black WIOC shirts with blue and purple lettering that reminds you of a 90s paper cup pattern. Very stylish and retro.

The girl with the baby face and two long feed-in braids, is reaching out, grabbing your hand to stamp with some sort of mallet which he gently blocks with two fingers on her wrist before it makes contact.

"Shakila, this is an affiliate," he stares. The girl straightens, backing up meekly and the guy to her right.. the one with a rougher feel and a troublesome glint in his eye can't be over 21, you guess. He rolls out from behind the desk and you see he's wearing all black roller skates with orange and green swirled wheels. They look custom.

"72 people in the building, boss, counting you two. Ghost and Slim out patrolling, say we gotta bluebird.. 5-0 campin at Fuller's they up to something but they been quiet..up there since about 8:15 this morning."

"Keep watching. Let me know if anything changes."

"Yezzir." He rolls off down the hall and makes a right, disappearing.

"Donnie, how you doin," Erik asks the man who's been reading a magazine, chillin. He's bald, light skin, and looks over 40. He's also as big as Erik! His muscles make his t-shirt took like a muscle shirt, it's tight, but it seems more of a personal style choice than an issue of not being able to get a bigger shirt.

Erik taps the desk before continuing down a short hall that splits into three and you walk alongside him, making a left when he makes a left and passing two young boys in the hall.

"An affiliate?"

"They thought I was bringing you in for assistance," he clarifies and your face scrunches. "But you and your salon might be interested in becoming affiliates after I give you the tour."

"Really? Wow.." This thing with him just keeps getting stranger.

"This is the women's dorm," he stops in front of a large expanded room, a space filled with about.. "Twenty beds, ten bunk beds. Forty women can sleep here with their kids. They call and we hold the spot or they show up and take it. That's all the beds we could fit in there but I'm thinking of expanding. The men's dorm is on the other side of the building. Don't worry, we have security. No incidents yet. Further down," he leads and you follow him down the clean tile hall. He takes you into another opening that says locker room.

"It's like a YMCA in here." You turn looking all through at the rows of lockers with actual locks, the showers, four toilet stalls, four sinks.

"There are 60 lockers, eight showers, eight stalls, eight sinks, two washers, and two dryers."

"Y'all water bill high." Looking back to him, he smiles and nods for you to head out into the hall again as you follow him. "This place is nice, if I didn't have my apartment, I'd try to stay someplace like this."

"It's our safe place for homeless kids and families or just people who need a place to be without having to look over their shoulder, wondering where their meal coming from or who's after them."

Pausing, you look around and Erik stops. This place is beautiful. He's even got the babies' art hanging on the walls making the place warmer.

"You good?"

"Yeah.. You know, I'd actually love to be affiliated with this place. I wanna donate. How do I do that?"

"I'm glad you asked, Nia. Keep walking with me. Let me show you the rest," he smirks, speeding up as he unlocks a door with his handprint that lights up blue.

"What the hell," you mutter staring between him and the door.

"Staff only entrance. Extra measure to keep the women safe on this side, if you wanna leave or come in, there's one way and you gotta get through security, that way you're only back here if you're supposed to be.

"Makes sense."

Through the door is another hall that's perpendicular to the one you just left. You follow him left and come to a large open cafeteria full of people sitting at tables, eating. Men, women, small children, teens, all black for the most part. There is a sprinkle of darker skin that isn't black. A mother with three young kids and then an old man.

"How do you get away with only taking black people? Isn't that 'discrimination'," you ask with air quotes. Not that you take issue with it, you're just curious. He laughs.

"When the colonizers come we just tell them we don't have the space and if there's an issue we have Donnie escort them out. We don't get governmental assistance, we're not required to run how they think we should run. We screen everyone who comes through and take who we think will benefit from our programs.

"Wow, I'm with it," you smile following him to the food line.

"Gone 'head baby," the older woman in front of him waves for you both to go ahead. He puts his hand on her back and kisses her cheek and the line ahead happily parts like the red sea letting the both of you through with a quickness. They love him. They genuinely love him. They also all have stamps on their hand. One woman is trying to pull her stubborn toddler aside and out of the way, but Erik sweeps him up and sits the boy on his hip, winking at the woman before passing you a white dish and grabbing two more.

"What you want lil man," he asks as he goes through each option fixing two plates. One (sausage links, grits, eggs, bacon, fried potatoes, pancakes, fruit cup) for himself and one (sausage links, bacon, eggs, pancake, fruit cup) for the kid.

Choosing a table, you sit with your plate (some of everything because it looks good) and Erik follows, sitting across from you with the kid and the two plates.

"I'll get the drinks," you offer heading back to pick up two glasses of apple juice, making it to the table before returning for one more glass and three straws. You pass them out and take your seat, mouth watering and ready to eat.

"Bow your head and close your eyes, please." You lower yours and wait.

"I don't close my eyes." He lowers his head and you say the prayer as the toddler reaches into Erik's plate grabbing one of his sausages. Erik doesn't look up but he shakes his head with a slow smile and you try to keep from laughing as you finish saying grace.

"Amen," you snort picking up your fork.

"This why I keep my eyes open," he points to the kid, shaking his head in humor. He sets the boy in the seat and hands him a piece of his own sausage. Looking over, you see the mom approaching with her plate and an apologetic smile.

"Lord," she sighs. She's pretty though she looks tired. "I'm so sorry, he's a handful, I know."

"Not at all," Erik smiles. She sits next to her son and he automatically starts pulling on her, saying "mama, mom, mommy," just busy, so she pulls him onto her lap to keep him still. They're both cute and remind you of Lia and her son, Jackson.

"This is Chyna.. and Orion," he palms the boy's head playfully. "Chyna, this is Nia," he nods digging into his plate.

"Hi Nia," she smiles and you reach out to take her hand, asking how she is. She's great but ready to eat, she laughs and for a while you all just focus on eating.

"Mommy," Orion starts and you understand 40% of what he just said. His mom entertains him with hums of "Really? Oh wow," as she eats, feeding bacon into his hands.

"You here for a job," she asks looking up and it's an innocent question.

"I'm here on tour of the facility, just lookin-"

"Nia is an affiliate and potential shareholder. We're in discussion," he interrupts.

"Oh okay..," Chyna's eyes widen. "So you're getting a feel of the center. Let me tell you why this place is so important," she says all humor gone.

"Me and my son have been here for the past few nights.. a few nights before that.. and then maybe a week prior." She looks to Erik and he nods.

"His father, Rashaad," she continues, gesturing to her son, "He died last month and didn't leave a dime. I talked to his family and my family and they told me I could sign over his body and the state would cremate him," she pauses, still in shock from it. "...But I couldn't do that..." Tears leak from her eyes and you look around for a napkin. She swallows, her eyes turning pink, and takes a breath. "Then there was the rent.. We hadn't paid it for the month and our extension was running out," she sniffs. "Well I had a funeral to plan, I couldn't let the state take him."

Orion, feeling her sadness, rubs her face to try to make her feel better and she tries to pull herself together.

"So ah-" she wipes her nose. "I took a chance and contacted the Wakandan International Outreach Center and they not only paid for the burial and the coffin, they sent a representative to the funeral for words of encouragement and I'll never forget that," she sighs. Erik keeps his eyes down to his plate.

"See, his daddy.. was a hood," she continues, eyes dead on yours. You know what she's talking about. You don't have to grow up in Cali to have family in the streets. "He was shot out there in the streets in a driveby...," she sniffs. "And you know.. people like to talk a lotta shit, but even if he wasn't nothing to nobody else, he was someone to me. I loved him."

"We're working on getting Chyna a higher paying job to cover her rent," Erik interjects giving her time to wipe her face.

"Yeah, they paid the rent for the month and they're paying next month. I'm taking the class on building a resume now. I'm still working at Ross, I'm just trying to do everything I can.

"You're doing a lot," you offer and Erik gestures for you to stand to follow him out. "It was good to meet you and hear your experience," you smile shaking her hand.

"Thank you, and I'm glad you're trying to help. We need more people like him," she points to Erik.

"Shit, don't boost me," he smiles. It's something he's done a lot since he's been here and you've noticed that his smile is something that brings so much peace and a sense of safety to these people. Still, looking at him you can see deep down there's a spot in him that isn't touched. It's full of rage and intense sadness that his smile can't cover. If only the peace he provided to all these people would reach him.

@thickemadame @just-juicee @kenbieeereadss @honeytoffee

Previous Chapters:

#in my mind #original #erik killmonger x oc #erik x reader #erik killmonger x black reader #erik x oc #erik killmonger x reader #black panther killmonger #killmonger #killmonger x reader #killmonger fic

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honesthearts · 4 years

Text

otp question meme

tagged by @f0xyboxes thank you!!!

tagging @chyrstis @bioshocking @jmcolt @himbopike @callmeredhood @deandomino @bimollymauks @yennas @fadedjacket

DISAGREEMENTS.

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

both tbh.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

neither.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

neither.

Who trashes the house?

both, but mostly cass.

Do either of them get physical?

not in the way this means.

How often do they argue/disagree?

it’s rare when they do, but when it happens it’s usually because of cassandra's reckless nature that puts her in dangerous situations.

Who is the first to apologize?

john because he can't stand not talking to her. cass can hold a grudge so there’s no way she’ll be the first one to do it.

SEX.

Who is on top? Who is on bottom?

they like to switch.

Any kinks?

yes. 😏

Who has the strangest desires?

neither.

Who’s dominant in bed?

they both are.

Is head ever in the equation?

of course.

If so, who is better at performing it?

they're both pretty good at it.

Ever had sex in public?

a few times, but they were never caught.

Who moans the most?

let's just say the guards at the ranch can't look both of them in the eye the next morning.

Who leaves the most marks?

both.

Who is the more experienced of the two?

they both are, but i'd say john is more experienced.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

in the beginning it was just fucking, but when things started to change between them, so did the way they're intimate.

How long do they usually last?

depends if they're busy or not.

Rough or soft?

both.

Is protection used?

no...

Does it ever get boring?

never! even if it’s vanilla sex, they're way too into each other to feel bored.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

they had sex in that water tower in falls end...... during the night.

FAMILY.

Do they plan on having children/or have children?

they always wanted to start a family but never found the right person. until they met each other of course.

If so, how many children do they want/have?

they end up having 3 kids - twins (robin and matt) and a daughter (naomi).

AFFECTION.

Who likes to cuddle?

they both do tbh.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

JOHN.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?

john! he’ll hold her hand, put his arm around her, or place his hand on her inner thigh.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

they're both touch starved, they would cuddle all day if they could.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

watching movies! and taking baths together.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

on the couch, watching movies 😔

SLEEPING.

Who snores?

john, but he denies it...

If both do, who snores the loudest?

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

they share a bed.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

they always cozy up! john is a big cuddler and always pull cass closer to him.

What do they wear to bed?

if it's hot they'll sleep in their underwear. when it's not, cass wears one of his shirts and john sleeps in shirt and sweatpants.

Are either of them insomniacs?

nope.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

no.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

they wrap their limbs around each other.

Who wakes up with bed hair?

both, but cass's is worse because she has curly hair.

Who wakes up first?

john. he's an early riser, he's used to it. cass on the other hand hates waking up early and needs at least 30 minutes before she can get out of bed.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

they eat breakfast in the kitchen. john doesn't like crumbs in bed adfgshdhs

What is their favourite sleeping position?

bedtime starts with them wrapped in each other, but after they fall asleep they move away giving each other space.

Do they set an alarm each night?

john is the alarm.

Who has nightmares?

both, john more than cass.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

yes.

Who has ridiculous dreams?

cass, and she tells john all about them.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

cassandra.

Who makes the bed?

john.

What time is bed time?

11 or 12 pm.

Any routines/rituals before bed?

cass likes to listen to some music, while john reads a book.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

CASS.

WORK.

Who is the busiest?

both tbh.

Who rakes in the highest income?

neither? its not like they get a paycheck.

Are any of them unemployed?

officialy? yes. but not really, since they have their jobs in EG.

Who takes the most sick days?

neither.

What are their jobs?

john is a herald for eden’s gate - his job is to baptise and take confessions from new members. cassandra is a former deputy, who has fighting against the cult before she joined. once she joins she leads patrols in holland valley and later on starts performing baptisms.

Who sucks up to their boss?

neither.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

neither.

Who stresses the most?

john. he’s pretty detail-oriented so he tends to stress over the little things.

Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

yes. cass hated being a deputy, she prefers what she's doing now.

Are they financially stable?

yes.

HOME.

Who does the washing?

cass.

Who takes out the trash?

the peggies....

Who does the ironing?

john.

Who does the cooking?

john. cass can't cook for her life.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

CASS.

Who is messier?

cass.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?

neither.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

cass.

Who forgets to flush the toilet?

neither.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

cass, usually.

Who answers the telephone?

mostly john.

Who mows the lawn?

the peggies do that.

Who does the vacuuming?

sometimes its john, sometimes its cass.

Who does the groceries?

they don't really have to.

Who takes the longest to shower?

they usually shower together 'to save water'. but if they're taking a shower alone, cass takes longer.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

JOHN. his hair has to be perfect.

MISCELLANEOUS.

Is money a problem?

not really.

How many cars do they own?

they each have their own car.

What’s their song?

fiona apple - on the bound

hozier - nobody

florence + the machine - bedroom hymns

Do they live in the city or in the country?

country.

Do they own their home or do they rent?

they own their home.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

absolutely! hope county is beautiful and the perfect place to settle down.

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

work usually.

Where did they first meet?

the night of joseph's failed arrest.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

JOHN.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

john tbh.

Any mental issues?

john obviously has ptsd from his childhood. cassandra has anxiety and depression. but out of the two, john is definitely worse.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

cass. specially if it's in public, john gets a little flustered.

Who’s terrified of bugs?

john is more disgusted by them than terrified.

Who kills the spiders around the house?

cass.

Do they have any fears for their future?

yes, but they make it work.

Their favourite place?

their porch! they like to watch the sunset.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

john.

Who pays the bills?

john.

Who’s the tallest?

they're the same height.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

both do that when the other is in the shower.

Who wanders around in their underwear?

both.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

CASS.

What do they tease each other about?

even after YEARS of them being together john loves that he can still make her blush and teases her about it. cass teases him for being a 'city boy'. all in good fun.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

cass used to make fun of his vest but it grew on her.

Who crushed first?

john.

Any alcohol or substance related problems?

they both had issues with drugs and alcohol in the past.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

neither.

Who swears the most?

cass.

#tag thing #x: bedroom hymns

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Thirty-Nine

Table of Content or Part Thirty-Eight

Read here on wattpad

Word count: 4K

Warning(s): Explicit language, Drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsessions @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @xpoisonousrosesx @cruecifymesixx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @emmaelizabeth2014 @meetthesixxter @sixxsixxsexx @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror @mcnibberachi

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

PMRC DEMANDS CENSORSHIP, DEVELOPES A LIST OF THE "FILTHY 15."

1. Prince, "Darling Nikki", flagged for sex/masturbation

2. Sheena Easton, "Sugar Walls", flagged for sex

3. Judas Priest, "Eat Me Alive", flagged for Sex/Violence

4. Vanity, "Strap On Robbie Baby", flagged for sex

5. Mötley Crüe, "Bastard", flagged for violence/language

6. AC/DC, "Let Me Put My Love Into You", flagged for sex

7. Twisted Sister, "We're Not Gonna Take It", flagged for violence

8. Madonna, "Dress You Up", flagged for sex

9. W.A.S.P., "Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)", flagged for sex/language/violence

10. Def Leppard, "High 'n' Dry (Saturday Night)", flagged for drug/alcohol use

11. Mercyful Fate, "Into the Coven", flagged for occult themes

12. Black Sabbath, "Trashed", flagged for drug/alcohol use

13. Mary Jane Girls, "In My House", flagged for sex

14. Venom, "Possessed", flagged for occult themes

15. Cyndi Lauper, "She Bop", flagged for sex/masturbation

Tipper freaking Gore, the wife of the senator at the time, Al Gore, and bunch of other political housewives got their panties in a twist in 1985 and decided to demand artists either censor themselves when creating music, leaving no room for even the slightest hint at sex, drugs, alcohol, satanism, occultism, violence, language, or anything else almost every artist uses one of to express themselves in their music.

When musicians across the board practically told Tipper, the other wives, and everyone else that called themselves a member of the Parents Music Resource Center, to go fuck themselves, they decided to slap censorship stickers on records that contained any of the mentioned offenses.

Even John Denver got hit with censorship for his song "Rocky Mountain High."

It didn't shock me when my mother was photographed with Tipper after attending one of the hearings.

Mötley was invited to a hearing to defend their content and speak their opinions with a handful of others being censored, but they never batted an eye when the news first came out because they knew having an "X" or "XX" or "XXX" rating for violence, language, sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. would only make kids buy the record more. And it did.

"It's bullshit." I state, tossing the news paper article aside.

"It's politics." Fred replies taking a bite of his bagel.

"These womens' sex lives must be atrocious or else they'd be spending more time on their husbands' dicks and less time on these people's." I motion to the article with the list on it.

"Babe--"

"If these polotical lunatics spent as much energy taking care of their own damn kids, as they're spending attempting to villainize artists who're expressing themselves, they would realize that it's not Mötley Crüe's or anyone else's job to raise their children. If you're so scared of your kids trying all this stuff, have a conversation with them about it and tell them about it, honestly, instead of relying on the music they listen to, to properly teach them about it. And at the end of the day, they're gonna buy the record whether their parents want them to or not, and they're going to try all kinds of stuff, no matter who talks to them about it, if they really want to try it." I continue my rant, Fred, Doc, Nikki, Vince, Tommy and Mick all looking at me, waiting for me to be done.

"Are you done, Sister Christian?" Vince asks me and I glare at him.

"Viv, it's publicity. Who gives a fuck?" Nikki asks me. "The kids are gonna go for the nastiest rated album anyway. The more 'X's the better."

"Yeah, but the audacity of--" Tommy's teaching his hand around my shoulder and covering my mouth before I can continue and I look at him where he's beside me.

"I've got a headache. I'm hungover, Viv. I love you, but I don't need to hear a Vivian Bitch Fit right now." Tommy explains to me.

I just look at him like he's lost his mind for shutting me up, and he cautiously moves his hand away.

I give him a ten second reprieve before shouting, at the top of my lungs:

"The audacity of these people pisses me off!" I finish what I was going to say and Tommy and Nikki are both jumping out of their seats a little at the sudden shouting, covering their ears, wincing, before Nikki's looking at me, sharply.

I roll my eyes at him and he grabs roughly at my thigh under the table, uncomfortably sinking the tips of his fingers into my flesh.

Ignoring him, I take a sip of my coffee, as he glances around and stands up.

"I gotta piss." He tells us, but I know why he's going to the bathroom.

I wait for him to disappear past the "Men's Room" sign in the Denny's before I get up and follow after him.

I walk in, catching the tail end of him snorting a line, and I cross my arms, waiting outside of the stall he's in.

I hear the familiar "click" of a needle being uncapped.

"Nikki. It's 10:00 in the morning." I tell him.

"Fuck off."

"Nikki."

"Fuck off."

"Nikk--"

"Fuck off."

"Make me."

I wait for him to come out of the stall and do what I dared him to, but I just hear the sound of him sighing out in relief as opiate hits his system, drowning out whatever argument we were about to get into.

When he didn't want to hear me complain or try to talk him out of stuff, he would run to his favorite room in his mind: his heroin den.

If we were at home, he'd lock himself in the closet, with me begging him to come out.

He'd open the door for me right before passing out so he could at least say he tried.

If we were in public or at a hotel, he'd lock himself in the bathroom and do the same thing.

The sound of vomit smattering the floor has me wincing as he mumbles "fuck it" and opens the stall door, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Don't fuckin' give me that hit dog look." He tells me, moving past me to the sink, splashing some water on his face, smearing his already smeared eyeliner that makes him look like a raccoon that's been digging around in a dumpster.

"I'm not giving you any kind of look." I mumble, forcing him to look at me as I wet a paper towel and wipe his black-coated eyelids clean.

The smell of his vomit infiltrates my nostrils and I throw the paper towel away before pulling at his wrist to leave.

Being that he's perfected his magical potion, he isn't too jittery from the coke or nodding off from the heroin.

He's just quiet.

We leave Denny's and head straight to the airport to head back home, being they wrapped up the last show of the U.S. tour last night.

Next is Europe.

Once we land in L.A., Christmas music blares through the speakers of the airport and reminds me that it's already nearing the end of December.

Apparently Vince is reading my mind because he mumbles, "apparently time flies when you're in hell."

Amen, Vince. A-fucking-men.

The second Nikki and I get into the limo to take us to our house, he's busting out a vile of blow that's nearly empty.

"Fuck, I gotta get Jason over, asap." He tells himself and I rub my lips together.

"You know, we haven't even bought a Christmas tree since we've been married." I tell him, trying to distract myself from his previous comment.

"Yeah." He says, basically blowing me off and I reach the toe of my sneaker out and nudge him on the kneecap as he gets the tip of our house key and scoops some from the bindle, snorting a bump.

"Babe." I continue to tap his kneecap until he's got his hand around my ankle, loosely, stopping me.

"What, Viv?"

"What did I just say?" I ask him, crossing my arms.

He just blinks at me, smirking a little.

"I'll gladly tell you when I finish this." He holds the bindle up.

I lean forward and take it from him, holding it hostage when he attempts to take it.

"You'll get it back when I get a Christmas tree." I tell him, raising my brows.

"Are you fucking me right now?" He asks, chuckling, not thinking I'm serious.

"No...but now that you mention it, I want that, too. Then you can get it back." I add and he smirks.

By the time we get to a department store, get my clothes back on and his pants zipped back up, grab an artificial tree, lights and ornaments, and finally get to the house, it's nearly one in the morning.

"Okay, Saint Vivian, gimme my shit back." Nikki states, carrying the boxed up tree while I carry the bags of lights and ornaments.

"Put the tree up so I can decorate it and I will." I reply.

"That wasn't apart of the deal." He argues, his tone still light.

"Well now it is." I reply.

"That's cheating."

"I made the deal. I make the rules." I shrug.

"You're making me work for something that's already mine." His free hand pulls at my waist, turning me to him and I grin mischievously as he shakes his head a little. "That's it, Sixx." He tells me before crouching enough to wrap his arm around my thighs and throw me over his shoulder.

I laugh manically, partially out of fear that he'll drop me, but also because this is the Nikki I fell in love with.

Playful, lighthearted, aggravating but meaning well, Nikki.

He manages to dig his house key out again and unlock the door before stepping in and turning on the lights in the foyer.

"Baby, put the bags down for now." He tells me and I drop them as carefully as I can while he puts the box the tree is in, down.

He's walking us to the living room, laughing when he pretends to trip and I gasp, digging my nails into him like a cat holding onto its owner to avoid a bathtub full of water.

When he flips the next light on, he stops immediately.

My mind is in shambles for a moment as I try to put together why so many people are in my house once Nikki's nearly dropping me out of shock, not even hearing them all scream out, "surprise!"

Steven and Tansy are at the forefront of people as the explosion of glitter, a mixture of neon and pastel decor, an abundance of various alcohol options, scantily clad women, a handful of Nikki's friends he hangs out with outside of Mötley Crüe, and a big ass, two-tier cake with every curse word known to man written in pristine is cursive font on the sides of it is soaked in by mine and Nikki's eyes.

Steven's wearing a beer hat, smiling widely, while Tansy looks like a sallow Barbie doll, but she's still forcing out a grin for the sake of us, and everyone's waiting for mine and Nikki's reactions.

Nikki and I exchange looks, confused as ever.

"Why is it a surprise?" I finally ask, deciding it's best if I ask instead of Nikki, because all he wanted to do was come in, shoot up, have a few lines, fuck around with me some more, and pass out.

But instead he's being forced to socialize in his own house.

His safe place has been infested.

Steven and Tansy seem horrified that we don't understand the reason for the apparent party.

"...Because it's your birthday?" Tansy reminds me.

"And Nikki's was a couple weeks ago, but he wasn't here to celebrate it." Steven adds, his smile is long gone, his eyes focused on Nikki who looks like he could kill someone right now.

"Oh, right!" I pretend that I know that it's my birthday today, and everyone seems to let out a breath of relief. "It's been a long day." I explain, stepping to the two blondes, hugging them both tightly. "Thank you so much."

While everyone else starts going on with the party, music starting to blare throughout the house on the stereo speakers, cracking open beer, whiskey, and vodka, as girls strip down to bikinis to go swimming, Nikki's still standing at the door, the look on his face is a mixture or pissed off, disappointed, and "I need another dose."

"Babe." I say gently to grab his attention, hazel eyes looking to me as a jaw tightens. "C'mon, just for a couple hours."

"I'll be right back." He tells me, shoving through people to get to our bedroom.

I brush off his attitude the second I feel hands on my shoulders, squeezing them a little and I snap around to meet Duff's chest.

"Hey, birthday girl." He greets me cooly, and I'm hugging him before I can stop myself.

Something wet falls on my hand when I pull away, and just as I'm about to look around for whatever it was, his fingers that are sticking out of leather gloves that just cover his palms, are brushing at my face.

"What's up?" He asks me, furrowing his brows a little.

What is up? Why the hell are you crying?

"I-I'm happy." Is all I can say, chuckling, wiping more tears.

He knew it was bullshit. I was happy, sure. Happy to get the fuck off the road. Happy to get a break from Nikki and Tommy harassing Vince. Happy to get away from Doc's constant pressing for more tour dates to milk as much money as possible. Happy to be able to hangout with balls of optimism and sunshine like Duff and Steven and have Slash show me his pet snakes like he'd been meaning to, and for Izzy to tell me what music I should have been listening to, and for Axl to go on and on about Tansy but then completely deny he was interested in her because he was too much of a dork to just ask her out.

"I'll be right back, alright?" I tell Duff, looking around to see Nikki's nowhere to be seen.

"Okay." He tells me, swigging from a bottle of vodka.

I thread through people who tell me "happy birthday" and I thank each of them, genuinely, before opening up the bedroom door, and shutting it behind me, stepping to our bathroom.

"Baby?" I ask, seeing Nikki standing at the mirror, teasing his hair some more. "I had no idea they would do this." I tell him.

"I had no fucking idea it was even your birthday, apparently." He grumbles. "Shows how much I care, right? Husband of the year. Something else to be hung over my head anytime we get into a fight."

"Hey, I didn't even know it was my birthday. The guys didn't either. You've all been busy and working hard and tired. I'm not going to hold this over you, Nikki." I assure him, fixing a piece of his hair for him.

I didn't realize his pride was so hurt by the gesture Steven and Tansy made.

I found out later it was Duff who brought up the idea to Tansy, who recruited the Ken to her Barbie: Steven, to help her orchestrate it.

That was another indication to Nikki that he needed to slow down, forgetting his own wife's birthday, but he didn't listen to it a bit.

"I really don't want to do this shit, Vivian." He tells me, rubbing his eyes.

"And I do?"

"They're your friends." He sighs.

"What's mine is your's." I say as I kiss his cheek and he groans.

"You owe me." He tells me as I step out of the bathroom. "Matter of fact, I want my coke back."

"Um, I can't hear you, babe. I'm sure I will when these people leave." I tell him.

"Viv--"

"I-I think you're breaking up, I'll talk to you later." I keep going, walking to the bedroom door.

"I'll break something up when these people get the fuck outta my house!" He calls back and I shut the door behind me.

The night goes on as people play beer pong on the dining room table, dance on whatever and whoever they can, snort lines off any flat surface available, and chug whatever is in their cups, drowning pain and becoming oblivious.

I hate to break it to Nikki, but I don't want these people driving in their condition, so they'll have to stay here tonight or call cabs.

After a few hours, people are either pairing off or grouping off to go get laid, passed out, or too high to function properly and are just chilling out.

Steven's observing his work, drinking from his beer cans perched in his hat when I approach him, looking for Duff.

"Have you seen Duff?" I say over the music and he nods.

"Yeah, I think he's by the pool." He tells me.

"The pool?"

"Yep."

I furrow my brows, stepping to the French doors leading outside, seeing Duff and Tansy sitting down on the pool deck, talking

"Is he pissed?" She asks me, referring to Nikki, after I sit next to her.

"I would say go see for yourself but I don't want to toss you into the lion's den." I admit. "He hasn't come out all night."

"I'll go talk to him." She says. "If he's mean to me I'll just cry and make him feel bad like I do to Vince."

Duff and I exchange looks at her confident words before she's walking away in her neon pink bikini.

"Everyone calming down?" Duff asks in a slur, and I nod, glancing through the doors to look at the guests for a few seconds. "How does it feel to be twenty-two?" He adds, rubbing his nose and I raise my brows a little, glancing at the bottle of vodka he's been working on all night.

"It's weird." I mumble. "I was a senior in high school five years ago." The reality hits me and he raises his brows. "God, I'm old."

"You were seventeen your senior year?"

"In pre-k my teacher decided I was too smart for the class and vouched for me to be moved up to kindergarten, and it didn't take my kindergarten teacher long to convince the principle of the elementary school to let me start in the first grade since they hadn't really started in on their curriculum for the year." I explain.

"I couldn't even meet the basic requirements of alternative school." He tells me.

"You're a freaking genius, you just didn't apply yourself." I tell him and he shrugs.

"I had more important things to get done.

"I guess you did." I agree, gently scoring the bottle of alcohol away from him.

"I know you're tired of me saying this, but, Viv, you gotta get back to dancing."

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Yeah. I mean, imagine me giving up music for someone I'm in a relationship with so I can hold their hand or fucking babysit them or whatever. I mean, sure it shows I love them a lot, but it would just make who ever I was with look like a fucking bitch. And I've talked to Nikki before and he told me he didn't want you to quit dance and he wanted you to go to school." He explains. "Why didn't you?"

"I had more important things to get done." I repeat him.

"I don't know if you're selfless sometimes, or just not thinking." He says, before his face suddenly falls. "I sound like an asshole right now, I'm sorry." He apologizes and I shake my head.

"I'm not upset, I know what you mean." I assure him.

"Okay." He rubs his eyes again like a sleepy child.

"Do you need me to help you to bed?" I offer and he waves his hand at me a couple times.

"No, no, I got it." He assures me, standing up.

He nearly falls over.

"Yeah, I'm sure you do." I comment, helping him inside as he apologizes.

"I'm sorry I'm being out of hand right now, Viv, I don't get like this every night." He tells me as I open our guest bedroom and thank God nobody's in here, although it's obvious someone has been screwed to oblivion on the bed.

I just throw the blanket on the edge of the bed over the mattress and help him lay down.

"Thank you." He says as I pull his boots off and set them nice and neat on the floor at the foot of his bed.

"You're welcome." I reply, setting the garbage can beside him incase he needs it. "Goodnight."

I'm about to leave, but his hand gently grasps at my hand, stopping me.

"What is it?" I ask him.

"I'm really glad we met and we're friends, Viv." He tells me, grasping my hand in his like I'm going to walk out anyway and not listen to what he's got to say.

"I am, too, Duff." I say back, smiling a little. "Sleep tight, okay?"

"Yeah." He nods his head.

"Alright, goodnight."

I go to kiss him "goodnight" on the cheek, but my entire system and body locks up the second he misreads my intentions, and kisses me.

This sounds so counteractive to who I am now and what I stand for currently, and it was ignorant of me to think such a way back then, when so many people close to me were heavily affected, some of them even dying, by drugs and alcohol...but I use to wish I liked alcohol or drugs, or even felt drawn to them.

By '87 I'd had several miscarriages, my marriage was hanging by a thread after only being married for four years, I was having an identity crisis and my entire world was seeming to fall apart and it became routine to buy a bottle of vodka or whiskey, or pills, or blow and just stare at it--trying to convince myself to go for it--for an hour before pouring it out or flushing it.

The people around me, which by that point was mainly Duff and his band, started to pick up on this struggle I had. And although they knew I had to be in some kind of extreme pain to be considering reaching such lows, they carried an "if you don't laugh about it, you'll cry" method of pulling me out of such spells.

Anytime we would be hanging out and I'd opt to try something they were doing, they would call it the "Golden Question Game" because the "Golden Question" was always "is Vivian actually gonna do it this time?" and they wouldn't argue with me about it or try to stop me because they knew the answer would always be "no" even if I didn't think it would be.

I even made the reckless suggestion to try heroin, and got as far as Izzy getting it in the syringe for me, trying to explain to me how to shoot it, how to angle it, how to know I'd hit a vein, with Steven, Slash and Duff all waiting to see if I was that desperate for an escape.

Like everything else I would think about doing, I just sat on the floor next to Izzy and stared at the golden liquid in the syringe and thought, "who the fuck are you to get pissed and angry at Nikki and Tansy for their addiction to this shit, and how it's destroying them, and then turn around and do it yourself?"

I shot it into the air away from me, handed the empty syringe back Izzy, thanked him for letting me waste his time and dose of smack, went to the bathroom with Duff at my heels, and cried.

I never went through with any of it because I knew I would never, ever, come back from it.

I would've drank myself to death or drugged myself past the point of no return and would have ended up a statistic.

I just needed a new escape because my original high became a heroin addict, and December 23, 1985, had me realizing more about Duff than what I had noticed before: Vodka was a hell of a lot easier to be around than heroin.

#nikki sixx #vince neil #tommy lee #mötley crüe #the dirt #gateway drug

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lesbian-ed · 7 years

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(1) I'm so scared.. I'm 22, THE girliest girl ever and I'm pretty sure I'm gay but I don't want to be. AT.ALL 😭😭😭😭😭I'm not a big drinker, hate smoking, hate drugs, since I was a little girl I have yearned for a fairytale ending with a husband and children, love studying and reading and am such an emotional, touchy feely person who loves presenting well and dressing up! ... for about 3 years now I've been looking on tumblr at lesbian blogs and I'm SO attracted to women, physically.

I’ve never been a big fan over the whole gay thing but now I’m like FUCK was it because an unconscious part of me knew I was?!? The more I’ve been looking on tumblr the more uncomfortable I am around obvious looking lesbians I.e butch women… there’s this one person who comes into my work and I literally got so overwhelmed that my hands started to uncontrollably shake.. i was mortified and I literally can’t be gay I really don’t want to be. It freaks me out so much because I want my kids to have a mom and a dad, I believe it’s really important for them.. but if I choose to be lesbian then I can’t have kids. It’s one of the other for me. I’m such a mess and always on edge over it. I don’t fit literally ANY lesbian stereotype and I don’t even know any gay people. I’m so upset. Like do I just find women sexually attractive and it doesn’t mean I’m gay? I just feel like I should be single forever. I’m so overwhelmed

I’m sorry in advance, because this is gonna be some tough love, but please feel free to come back and ask any more questions. Know I’m frustrated about the stereotypes you’ve been internalizing, but I am not mad at you as a person.

I’m just gonna come out and say that so much of what you’re saying is so fucking upsetting and hurtful on a personal level. I don’t know what you think a lesbian is, but we certainly are not stereotypes, we are not “drinkers, smokers, drug lovers”. We can live fairytales too. We can want wives and kids, we can “love studying and reading”. We can be emotional, touchy feely people (like I myself am, and this ask really hurt those touchy feelings). Lesbians can love “presenting well and dressing up” no matter if they’re femme or butch.

“The whole gay thing” is nothing but just people who love other people. People who happen to be gay. “Obvious looking lesbians” (by which I assume you mean butches) are not some spectacle for you to treat that way. I understand internalized homophobia can make them seem intimidating, but butch women are amazing, and they don’t owe you anything.

Not to mention, straight people can “””look like lesbians””” too, because surprise, there’s not one “lesbian look”.

You need to deconstruct these stereotypes you’ve been building in your brain, because lesbians are not monsters who are out to get you.

Also, being attracted to women doesn’t mean you’re gay. If you’re also attracted to men, that means you’re bisexual, and then you can happily go off and live the hetero life, no one’s stopping you.

But if you’re truly a lesbian, if you actually are only attracted to women, then sit down and buckle up, sis, because there are so many things you need to unlearn about lesbianism. It’s not some kind of cult or gang, lesbians are not all the same, and lesbians are not “deviants”.

All I do with my life all day is sit around on the internet, watching TV shows with my girlfriend, playing videogames, talking about feminism, talking about our lives. I’m about to start uni, I’m studying system development. I’m a sister of two younger kids. I’m an English teacher. I love books, and reading, and studying. I love music, I love food. I’m a vegetarian. And I’m also a lesbian, as a side note, as one of those things.

You cannot come here on this blog and talk about us this way and seriously not think there’s a problem with your way of thinking. Who do you think we are? Have you even been reading this blog at all? Lesbians can be mothers, they can be parents, they can be teachers, and counselors. Lesbians can be anything and everything.

We fight so hard to normalize who we are. We don’t have some specific life style. We’re not all marriage-haters. We want and have kids.

Many studies show that children in same-sex households are at no disadvantage in comparison to heterosexual household (x). If you think a man and a woman being married has any effect on a child’s well being, you’re simply wrong.

I’m really sorry society has made you hate lesbians and lesbianism so much, and you should feel free to contact us again with any question you may have. But please keep it respectful, please do not assume all lesbians are some stereotype. I grew up with religious people telling me all of “the gays” were the same, and it is the reason it took me so many years to be fully happy as my lesbian self.

I hope you’ll find it in yourself to work through all this internalized homophobia, and if you’re a lesbian, that you can find a kind woman, and marry her, and have kids with her. I’m sure you’ll make a great parent, independent of having a man as your partner or not. Also please check out our [compulsory heterosexuality tag]. I feel like you need some feminism in your life, honey, so also please check out our other blog @acoupleofradfems

/Mod A

#homophobia #internalized homophobia #lesbophobia #internalized lesbophobia #internalized misogyny #advice #questioning #questioning lesbian #questioning bisexual #answered asks #mod A #22

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