Jake: 🤧🏵 This is fine

Javy: 😑😐 BOI—

LITERALLY 🤣🤣🤣

Jake smh you know this is bad stop being allergic to help and care

Baby Pacha crashes Javelia’s wedding? Everyone is VERY surprised that Baby Pacha is alive.

Minific, pleeeeeeease?

OH MY— this is SUCH. A. CUTE. IDEA. omg :3

Javi hadn’t expected the “Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace” to end with a screech of terror from someone in the crowd. He’d imagined his wedding day would go fairly normally and without much drama, but boy was he wrong, because the amount of chaos he’d endured since morning, what with Tarrick and Warden Garcia coming almost to blows with each other, Jane’s ice sculpture melting because some dumbass— J-Borg— had placed it right under an airvent, which was regulating the temperature in November, and the melted ice water making about three guests slip and fall and injure their backs before Javi himself had to take a mop and clean up the mess. And that was without knowing that his bride had almost runaway with cold feet and his friends had scanned the entire planet to bring her back…

Amelia looked at him, and he looked back at her, both of their eyebrows raised in confusion, because it seemed like she too had not expected any more obstacles in their wedding, at this point.

The next second, as the couple looked at the crowd seated in front of them, more screams erupted, with people standing up on their seats, flurrying about, as if there was a lizard crawling from under the chairs. It was chaotic at best, and Javi tried to control his laughter, looking at Amelia who seemed to be doing the same, and slowly inched towards him, gripping his hand tightly in hers, squeezing it, as they tried to see what had caused the entire commotion. Then they saw a tiny metallic snout peeking out from under one of the chairs. Followed by a very familiar little head and Javi’s head turned towards Amelia, instinctively, instantly, to gauge her reaction, as if to see that she was indeed seeing what he was seeing. And indeed, Amelia’s lips were also parted WIDE, in a giant ‘o’, as she also turned to look at Javi, a smile escaping onto both of their faces, and their eyes darted back to the little metal dinosaur who was peeking her head out from underneath the chairs, the guests still scurrying away in fright as if there was a lizard beneath their feet.

“BABY PACHA?!” Both of their voices echoed in unison across the wedding hall, and Javi and Amelia, actually dressed in their wedding suit and dress, ran across the hall to catch the little dinosaur.

The baby zord scurried across the floor tiles and Javi and Amelia could see the white satin sheets on top of the chairs flying by the speed. Javi looked at her, she looked back at him, a plan of action passed between their eyes, and seconds later, they split up to catch the zord. Javi crawled under the chairs, and the Zord yeeted away from and towards the opposite direction, and just as she emerged from underneath the chairs, Amelia, in her baby pink wedding dress, stood there with open arms, waiting and caught the little zord right in her arms and scooped her up, and spun her around like she was a little baby bundled up in her arms.

Aiyon, Izzy, Ollie and Fern ran up to Amelia just as Javi crawled back up from under the chairs and flexed his back, a loud cracking sound echoing through the hall that made Izzy grimace and the others laugh.

“Baby Pacha?! What’s she doing here?!” Ollie started, and Amelia looked just as clueless as Javi and the others did. Aiyon straightened his collars and decided to gently place his palm over the baby zord and try reading its mind.

“Hawwww…” he mouthed, then faced their friends, “when Zayto died… sacrificed the Zords… Baby Pacha wasn’t exactly a Zord type of Zord?? She’s a baby. She’s never fought a battle… the Grid didn’t take her.” He said, looking so sad it looked like someone had just kicked a puppy in front of him.

“She’s… an orphan?” Javi said, mirroring the exact same expression Aiyon had, absolute puppy dog eyes.

“I… think so…”

“Where was she all this time?” Izzy questioned, and Aiyon shrugged, “trying to find her way back to us…”

“Oh my grid—“

“OH MY GRID—“

“AIYON DO YOU THINK WE CAN ADOPT HER?!” All faces turned to Ollie who had the brightest expression on his face, and a sappy smile spread over all of their faces, “this was quite a way for her to make an entrance.” Amelia said, sticking her tongue out at Ollie, “if anything, Javi and I should adopt her,” she smirked.

“Noooo” Fern said, sweeping in and stealing the baby zord out of Amelia’s hands, “I’ve always wanted to have a pet Zord! I’m adopting her!”

Suddenly, the baby zord hopped out of Fern’s arms and seconds later, Javi’s voice erupted through the atmosphere, “we should’ve asked who Baby Pacha wanted to live with” and giggles followed as the entire team’s eyes landed at Solon standing at the altar, holding the little zord like a baby and tickling it’s tummy, and they all burst into huge smiles, realising it was decided!

Hesploro if you have an Ao3 lemme know👀

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🤍✨

1 - refuge series - husband! joel x reader - i feel like it’s my crown jewel lmao

2 - full - daddy! joel x reader - im proud of the smut in this one folks

3 - away - husband! javi x reader - its so FLUFFYYYY

4 - enough - dumbass din darin x reader - i feel like this is one of my best work fr

5 - acting out - daddy dom! din djarin x reader - one of my first smuts ever but i still feel like its a classic icl

thanks so much for including me! can’t wait to send this to my fave people jhfhd

flu season

fandom: top gun: maverick pairing: phoenix/hangman rating: G word count: 2.2k requested: yes! on ao3

summary: Jake gets sick, and Natasha visits

a/n: this (kinda) fulfills a request where a commenter asked for a fic where jake has the flu but refuses to admit it until he collapses from it. doesn't really fit the prompt, so if u want something else, lmk!

i felt the last few chapters were getting away from the hannix roots (jake being a cunt) so i wanted to bring that back. this is set after the 'coyote' chapter of praying you don't see the signs

Jake doesn’t get sick. He has a perfect immune system, bolstered by a healthy diet and an ideal sleep schedule. Even freshman year, when plebes were falling to the flu left and right, Jake made it out with nary a sniffle.

At least, that’s what he told Natasha when he visited her on her sickbed, inexplicably bringing her soup and medicine. He claimed that he was using his immunity powers for good. Jokes on him, though, because three days later, Jake misses their class.

After finding out from Javy that Jake has the flu but is refusing to take care of himself, Natasha decides to take matters into her own hands.

“What are you doing here?” 

Jake looks worse than she thought. He’s exhausted, shoulders slumped as e props himself against the door frame, and he can barely keep his eyes open. His voice is muddled, both by drowsiness and congestion.

“Returning the favor,” Natasha answers simply, pushing past him into his room.

Surveying her surroundings, Natasha realizes it’s worse than she thought. Javy’s side of the room is immaculate as always, a mirror image of hers, except for the pictures hanging up. Jake’s, on the other hand, is far from up to standard. If there were an unannounced bunk check, he’d be reprimanded immediately.

The bed is unmade, the corners of the sheets haphazard from where they were probably pulled during fitful spells of sleep. There’s a trashcan next to the bed that Nat assumes Jake dragged over, piled high with discarded tissues, and Jake’s desk is covered in half-started homework and partially drunk cups of tea, no doubt foisted upon him by Javy. All in all, the room would probably pass muster with a civilian. By Navy standards, though, it makes Natasha wince.

“Where’s Javy?” she asks instead of remarking on the state of the room, walking over to the microwave to pop in the Tupperware of soup.

“Uh, he’s staying with a friend. Said he wants to avoid the germs.” Jake seems too tired to really protest what’s happening, so instead of asking any questions, he just sinks back into his bed. The mattress forms around him, as if he’s a part of it now after nearly two days in the same spot.

“Hmm, that’s why I figured I’d stop by.” Natasha pulls the soup out of the microwave, stirring it to ensure the heat is evenly distributed. “I’m immune to the germs, so I’m the only one who can safely enter the hazard zone.”

Determining that the soup is adequately heated up, Natasha turns back to Jake to hand it to him. He takes it from her warily, glancing at it with a suspicion that Nat, frankly, thinks is unwarranted.

“It’s not poisoned or anything,” she says when he still doesn’t pick up the spoon.

“Excuse me for being suspicious when my arch rival brings me soup in an unmarked container. Maybe you’re trying to attack while I’m weak.”

Nat rolls her eyes. “First of all, it’s unmarked because it’s homemade, dumbass. Second of all, I didn’t treat you with nearly this much suspicion when you brought ME soup.”

“I’m not the one who once said, ‘watch your back; I’ll get you when you least expect it.’”

And, okay, fair. She did say that to him once, after a heated argument in class in which Jake led her down a specific path, baiting her to take the more extreme position. She ended up being wrong, and after class, Jake came up to her and told her that he knew the answer the entire time and just wanted to see her argue a point everyone knew was wrong. Nat had seen red. And she still hasn’t actually gotten him back.

She doesn’t rise to his bait now, formidable, knowing Jake is just goading her. Instead, she walks over to him and takes the spoon from the Tupperware, shoving some of the chicken noodle into her mouth.

“See?” she says when she swallows. “Perfectly safe.” Nat plops the spoon back down, a few droplets of broth splattering onto Jake’s already dirty t-shirt.

Jake pulls a face. “Now I have your germs,” he grumbles, but he does grab the spoon.

“You already have my germs, dumbass. Last time I try to do something nice for you.”

With that, Nat turns to leave, having fulfilled her civic duty.

“Wait,” Jake calls out when she’s halfway to the door. Against her better judgment, she stops. “Can you, uh, stay?”

He sounds sheepish, and when she turns around, he looks it, too, shifting amongst the blankets and looking down. Nat figures he must be feeling pretty bad if he’s asking her to stay. When he dropped soup and medicine off to her, he hadn’t stayed, and she hadn’t asked. So the request leaves her a little speechless, though she has enough control over her expressions not to look it.

Her silence must be enough, though, because Jake elaborates. “Javy’s been gone for over a day, and I’m getting a little stir-crazy. You know the phrase, any port in a storm.”

“You really know how to make a girl feel special,” Nat cracks wryly but still slides into Javy’s desk chair, spinning a few circles before stopping to face Jake. He’s watching her with an amused expression, soup halfway to his lips.

“What?” she asks, annoyed.

“Nothing,” Jake responds, a cheeky smirk on his face. “Just wouldn’t have figured you for a chair spinner.”

“What’s the supposed to mean?” she snarks back, suddenly self-conscious.

“You voluntarily hand in your essays like two weeks early to get feedback,” Jake says like that’s an answer.

“So? What does that have to do with spinning in a desk chair.” To emphasize her point, she gives it one more twirl, but the joy is diminished now that she’s doing it to prove something.

“I think the Venn Diagram of people who finish their essays early and who spin in office chairs is pretty small. Maybe nonexistent.”

“Well, it exists since I’m here.” She’s full-on scowling now, knowing that it’s messing up the picture of fun she wants to exude.

“Sorry, of course. You’re the epitome of whimsy.” Jake’s pinching the corners of his mouth shut, clearly trying to hold in a laugh. It makes her irrationally angry.

“Fuck off. I’ll see you in class.” She makes to get up, but Jake’s face drops immediately, all pretense of teasing gone.

“Wait, shit, sorry,” Jake scrambles, and the repentance in his voice is enough to have her settle back into the chair. “Please stay. We can talk about whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want, huh?” Natasha asks slyly, grasping at the opportunity.

“Yeah,” Jake confirms, albeit less sure than before.

Nat then launches into a story about how, the last time she was home, she took her 13-year-old sister to see the Twilight movie the last time she was home. Seeing the opportunity, she decides it’s the perfect time to regale Jake with the movie's entire plot, as well as the following three books, which her sister made her read.

When she’s done, Jake doesn't even look annoyed. In fact, he’s smirking.

“You underestimate me,” he gloats. “I have three, count 'em, three older sisters.”

This time, Nat can’t stop her jaw from dropping. “Three?” she repeats, incredulous.

“Yup, and one older brother.”

“Jesus, that’s a lot of Seresins. Any younger?”

“Nope,” Jake answers, popping the ‘p.’

“Of course, you’re the youngest. Of FIVE. Your parents are saints.”

“What do you mean, of course, I’m the youngest?” Jake has the audacity to look offended.

Nat shoots him a look only eldest siblings can accomplish, and it works, Jake squirming in his bed under it. “I assume Javy made the tea?” Jake nods slowly. “And brought you the trash can and tissues?” Another nod. “And has been making sure you get fed?” He nods again. “You wouldn’t know how to care for yourself if you were the last man on earth.”

“Hey, I resent that. I’m in the Naval Academy; they don’t let any old chump into here.”

“Your presence seems to contradict that statement.” Jake can tell she’s joking. Mostly.

“Why’d you choose the Academy?” Jake asks, shifting the conversation. “You don’t exactly seem like the God and country type.”

Nat shoots him a look but doesn't disagree. She was raised as a lapsed Catholic and remains one to this day, and she enjoys July 4th, but it’s not like she’s ultra-patriotic. She has a feeling Jake’s the same way.

“Eh, it’s not an interesting story.” She’s sure they could find something better to talk about.

“How can it not be interesting? You’re in the fucking Naval Academy.”

Jeez, the ego on him, Nat thinks absently.

“Not everyone has a deep and meaningful story about why they’re here. For most of us, it just happened. It’s boring.”

“I’ve been stuck in this 12x12 box for two days. Nothing is boring to me,” Jake insists.

Natasha eyes him skeptically but obliges. “I’ve known for years that I want to do engineering. I’ve always been drawn to it, and I'm damn good at it.” It’s not bragging; she led her high school robotics team to a national championship two years in a row. She has a gift for it, an ability to look at a piece of machinery and know how it works.

“But I’m also the oldest of three sisters, one of whom has wanted to be a doctor since she was seven. My parents aren’t poor, but college is expensive, and med school is even more so. So I did what any oldest sibling would do and started researching options. The Academy came up. 

“It was perfect. A free engineering degree and all it would cost me was a few years of service. Obviously, getting in wasn’t a guarantee, but once I did, it was a no-brainer to go.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Jake asks when she’s done talking, for some reason looking furious.

“The hell?” Nat asks, feeling like she missed something.

“The Academy is some people’s life dream. They put everything into it, YEARS of effort and tough choices. And you just decided to go and did?” The look on Jake’s face is one of absolute affront, and she would laugh if his insinuation wasn’t making her blood boil.

“Fuck you,” she answers succinctly. “I worked hard to get here, as hard as you or anyone else. I’m fucking smart, and hard-working, and personable, and that’s why I’m here.”

“A lot of people work hard. Most who don't decide until they’re 16 usually don’t get very far in the process. But I guess the Navy is trying to diversify.”

It hits Natasha like a fist to the ribs, almost knocking the air out of her. She knows Jake’s an asshole, but she never thought he was a bigot.

“So what? You think they loosened the requirements because I’m a woman?”

“I wasn’t going to say that.”

“But you were thinking it.”

This time, he can’t deny it. He looks down at his soup sheepishly, dragging the spoon along the remnants at the bottom.

“Okay, maybe for a second,” he concedes. “But really, I’m just jealous. You were able to get to exactly where I am with five years less work. Mostly, I’m just glad we’re not the same year.”

“What, couldn’t handle me as competition?”

Jake looks up at that, meeting her eyes across the room. He’s smirking, his patented arrogance back in place. “I don’t think you could handle me, sweetheart.”

She rolls her eyes. “Don’t call me sweetheart.”

Jake ignores the jab and instead changes the subject. “So what’s your plan after this? What pipeline do you want?” 

“I’m thinking of becoming a pilot,” Nat answers cautiously.

It’s new, this desire to be a pilot. Honestly, entering the Academy, she didn’t have a concrete plan of what she wanted out of it. But their professor took her aside one day after class and told her to look into the fighter pilot tract. It intrigued Natasha immediately.

“Of course you are,” Jake responds wryly.

“What, you too?” Her stomach swoops at the prospect of not being able to shake him.

“Guess we’ll never be able to escape each other.”

“Lucky me,” Natasha says sarcastically and gets up to leave, for real this time. “I have class in 20 minutes. If you don’t return that Tupperware, I will hunt you down.”

Jake mock salutes her, one last spoonful already halfway to his mouth.

“Thanks. For this,” Jake offers as she makes her way to the door.

“You did it for me first. In fact, the medicine is just the leftovers from what you gave me. So even less effort on my part.”

“The soup is homemade, though.”

And that it is. She shifts uncomfortably on her feet, unsure of how to respond. Nat doesn’t even know why she made the soup, but the thought of Jake bedridden because of her made her feel guilty enough to text her mom for a recipe.

“It’s no big deal. I like to cook.” Not an outright lie.

“Let me thank you, jeez. You don't always have to be so difficult.’

“Right. Well. You’re welcome,” she offers awkwardly, the words coming out rote.

“You’re dismissed, Trace,” Jake says, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Natasha just rolls her eyes and turns to finally leave.

Up In Smoke | Javier Pena/Steve Murphy

Rating: Explict

Warnings: Shotgunning cigarettes, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs

Word Count: 1618

Summary: Steve and Javi want to relax after a long day of work but there's only one cigarette left.

It had been a long day, a long, tiring, hard day. Normally on days like this Steve usually went to bed with Connie and just held her, that always made him feel better, and Javi was usually fucking deep into some “CI”. But It wasn’t normal anymore. Connie had left and Steve had started drinking himself nearly to death on days like this. Javi was worried, so now on days like this, after work they both go over to Javi’s place and sit on his couch in mostly silence just smoking, drinking, and enjoying eachothers silent company. Steve would never mention it but these times just sitting next to Javi did better to calm him down then laying in bed with Connie ever did.

Today had been rough, too many dead end leads and too many people found dead because of shit Pablo had caused. So here they were sitting much too close together on Javi’s couch,thighs and shoulders touching, drinking some cold beers that Steve had just taken out of Javi’s fridge. These moments were the only time Steve’s head decided to quiet down for a while. He could just sit and enjoy the warmth of Javi pressed against him and the cold feeling of a beer in his hand. Javi went to pull a pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket.

“Can I get one.” Steve asks as Javi is pulling out the pack.

“There’s only one left, sorry, and it’s mine” Javi says with a smirk on his lips

“Just share it with me then dumbass.” Steve retorts. Javi huffs as he lit the cigarette and took a drag. Steve stared at Javi’s lips as they wrapped around the cigarette. So distracted by the man's lips he almost didn’t notice when Javi passed it to him. Steve took the cigarette from Javi’s hand, fingers brushing against the other man’s and brought it to his lips. His lips touching the same place Javi’s were just seconds ago. Javi stares at Steve and Steve starts to feel like something in the air has shifted. Steve breathes out the smoke slowly, staring back at the other man. Javi takes the cigarette from Steve’s hand and brings it to his lips. He pulls in the smoke and holds it in blowing it out at the other man. Steve leans in towards Javi, he doesn’t exactly know what’s happening but he doesn’t want to stop. Javi takes another drag of the cigarette and closes the gap between them locking his lips against Steve’s. Steve mouth opens slightly letting in the smoke as Javi breathes it out into him. They finish the cigarette like that, Javi breaking away from Steve’s lips to take another drag and then breathing it into Steve’s lungs. Steve’s head is high with the feeling of Javi, Javi’s lips against his, Javi’s breath inside his lungs. It couldn’t be more intimate, Javi filling Steve in ways he never imagined. The cigarette is long gone and Javi is still here, lips pressed against Steve’s, tongue in his mouth. Javi has had enough and he roughly pulls Steve into his lap, both of their cocks hard from the experience they just had. Steve ruts against Javi, their rock hard erections seeking friction.

“Fuck Steve” Javi groans out into steve’s neck.

“Yes, please” Steve whimpers too low for anyone to hear.

“Louder if you want me to hear, Murphy” Javi whispers into his ear.

“I said please. Please- ahhh fuck me Javi” Steve’s sentence broken by a loud moan when Javi ruts up in the perfect way. Javi pushes Steve off his lap and stares down at him. “Bed. Now.” Steve scrambles to get up off the couch and follow Javi into the bedroom.

As they walk into the room, Javi shoves Steve down unto the bed and crawls on top of him, latching his lips onto his neck. He puts his hands under Steve’s shirt feeling his way across the man's stomach. He pulls his lips off Steve’s neck just long enough to push the other man’s shirt over his head so he had full access to the man’s chest. Javi kisses down his neck, sucking a bruise into Steve’s collar bone. Javi didn’t care if he left a mark, in fact he really hoped he did, a reminder to Steve that whatever this was between them Steve was his now. Javi dragged his tongue and lips down Steve’s chest, taking time to stop and bite and take one of his nipples into his mouth, then lowering further down his stomach until he reached the waistband of Steve’s jeans. Javi looked up at Steve asking for permission as his hands went towards Steve’s belt. Steve answered by staring down at Javi and nodding enthusiastically. Javi slowly undid his belt and then started taking the other man’s denim jeans down his legs along with his boxers, leaving Steve’s leaking cock to bob up to his stomach. Steve lets out a sharp gasp as Javi takes his cock in hand and licks up a drop of precum from the tip.

“Fuck Javi, don’t tease me. Please.” Steve groans out dragging out the last syllable as Javi licks a long stripe down his length. Javi moves away from Steve and before the other man can complain Javi pulls open his nightstand drawer and pulls out a bottle of lube.

“I’m gonna need this if you want me to fuck you so bad, Stevie” Steve whimpers out at the silly petname as well as the thought of Javi actually fucking him.

Javi sets himself back down between Steve’s thighs and squirts some lube onto his fingers. As he presses one finger at Steve’s entrance he takes Steve's cock down his throat at once leaving Steve to make a long drawn out moan. While Steve is distracted by the wet heat of his mouth Javi slowly presses his finger into him, fucking in and out of him in a slow pace as he bobs up and down on his dick. Javi starts to add a second finger, not wanting to go too fast, so as not to hurt Steve. When Javi curls his fingers just right Steve cries out and his dick twitches in Javi’s mouth.

“Fuck, Javi! Right there!”

Javi smiles and groans around Steve's cock as he fucks into him making sure to hit his prostate on every stroke. Steve starts fucking himself down onto Javi’s fingers and Javi takes that as a cue to add a third. After fucking Steve on his fingers for a few minutes more, Javi can’t take it anymore he needs to fuck him. Javi pulls his fingers out of Steve and his mouth off his dick and Steve whines at the loss.

“Shh Stevie it’s gonna feel so good in just a second.” Javi crawls up Steve’s body until he takes his face in one hand and kisses him while lining himself up and sinking into Steve as slowly as he can. Steve groans loudly against Javi’s lips and it takes everything in him to not just fuck into Steve in one thrust. Javi fucks into him in slow thrusts adding in an inch at a time till he bottoms out.

“God, feel so good for me Steve, so good” Javi groans out as Steve clenches around him at the praise. Javi pauses his thrusts so Steve can get used to the fullness.

“Javi, if you don’t fuck me right now I’m gonna kill you.” Steve sounds wrecked, all breathy moans and grunted out syllables.

Javi pulls out slowly until only the tip of his cock is still in Steve and then thrusts in hard and deep, filling Steve up in one smooth fast stroke. Javi starts a pace that’s slow enough that it’s driving Steve crazy, fucking in and out, dragging his cock along Steve’s walls. Javi changes angle slightly and Steve yells out his name. Javi’s dick twitches inside of him at the sound of his name on Steve’s lips.

Javi presses his lips into Steve’s neck “Fuck yes love all those pretty noises you make for me, love hearing you moan out my name.” Javi punctuates his words with hard thrusts right into Steve’s prostate which leave him a whimpering mess. Javi speeds up his thrusts trying to pull more sweet noises out of the blonde man under him. Javi bites into Steve’s shoulder to stop the loud moans that erupt from his throat.

“Fuck Javi touch me. Please touch me.” Javi wraps his hand around Steve’s cock as he grabs onto Steve’s hip, matching the rhythm of his hand to that of his thrusts. Javi’s close and he knows Steve is too. Javi speeds up his hand and kisses his way Steve’s neck mouthing at his jaw.

“Come on, cum me for me, I know you can, be a good boy and come for me Stevie.” Hearing Javi whisper in his ear and beg him to come is all it takes before Steve is painting his own stomach with his release and clenching down on Javi, sending him over the edge with him. Javi collapses down onto the taller man, wrapping his arms around him and pressing his face into the crook of his neck. Here pressed against Steve, Javi didn;t think about work and how shitty everything was right now all he could think about was Steve and the way his heartbeat sounds and the way he felt and the way he tasted. Javi falls asleep like that, his head on Steve’s chest. For once Javi and Steve sleep peacefully, and Steve didn’t need to know that there was a new pack of cigarettes sitting in Javi’s nightstand.

maybe (Javier x Reader)

shoutout to @baar-ur​ who asked for this incredibly angsty prompt

Title: maybe Rating: PG-13 (language and allusions to sex) Warning: Lots of language, name-calling, miscommunication, everyone’s an asshole, ANGST, so much angst, pregnant!reader

You had been in a lot of difficult situations throughout the course of your career — shootouts, drug busts, asshole bosses paired with the government’s blind eye towards rampant sexism in the workplace. You had faced a lot of shit, but none of it had prepared you for the fallout of sleeping with your partner.

It all started the weekend after Escobar died. Murphy announced he was heading back to America now that the hunt for Escobar was finished taking both you and Javier by surprise. Escobar hadn’t been the only narcos on the DEA’s radar and you had both anticipated that he’d stay on to go after the next cartel. It was Javier’s idea to have a going away party for Steve, but in the end it was less about the party and more about you and Javi closing out the bar at two in the morning. Murphy and Connie left at a reasonable hour, leaving the two of you to drink your cares away. 

Without Murphy there as a buffer, you and Javier were fucked. Literally. 

As you stood in your bathroom, staring at your towel-clad reflection in the mirror, the irony wasn’t lost on you. This whole mess had started in a bathroom and now, as you stood with a pregnancy test sitting on your bathroom sink, it was becoming a reality in a bathroom too. Nothing good ever came to fruition in a bathroom. 

Just last week, Javier had been bragging with one of the newer agents about having to bang another hooker-informant. What happened between the two of you had meant nothing and with each passing day of awkward glances and short conversations, you realized Murphy had been the glue holding your friendship together. 

You and Javier were nothing but partners and fucking him had ruined any chance of being friends. Now a positive pregnancy test would ruin any chance of remaining partners with him. 

For a week you debated whether or not you would even tell him. It was none of his business really — you’d be fine if the entire department thought some wayward one night stand had knocked you up. But the guilt of keeping him in the dark eventually ate at you. You had to tell him, regardless of his reaction. 

The worst-case scenario would be that he wanted to get reassigned a new partner and given how awkward he’d made things since Murphy’s going away party — you wouldn’t actually be against it. A little distance would probably do you some good. 

It was probably a mistake to tell him while he was driving. 

He’d actually been in a decent mood as the pair of you set out to stake out the house of one of the cartel members. The whole morning had felt like you were walking through a vivid waking dream. Hell, you hardly even remembered a word your boss had said during the briefing. 

You slid into the passenger seat beside Javier and stared at him as he pushed his aviator’s up the bridge of his nose, watching his mouth as he silently sang along to whatever was playing over the car’s grainy radio. 

He’d been in a good mood right up until the moment you said—

“I’m pregnant.” 

Javier’s foot hit the break a little too harshly at the next red light, his fingers curling tightly around the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. 

“Why are you telling me?”

You pushed your fingers through your hair and stared out the window to your right. “Why do you think I’m telling you?”

He slammed his fist into the center of the steering wheel, the car horn making you nearly jump out of your skin. “Goddammit.” He hissed out as he drove the car down an alley and put it into park. 

“I’m keeping it.” You told him quietly. “With or without you.” 

He pulled his aviators off and tossed them onto the dashboard. You watched as he dragged his hands over his face, his chest rising and falling with uneven breaths, before he turned his anger in your direction. “Were you going to fucking tell me? It’s been three fucking months since Murphy fucked off back to the states.Three months!” 

“I wanted to tell you sooner,” You started, keeping your voice steady. “But I didn’t know how you’d react.” Your brows rose upwards as you met his heated gaze. “You’ve been a real jackass ever since that night. This,” You gestured to the current situation. “is about what I expected.” 

“No shit.” Javier snapped. “You should’ve fucking told me sooner.” 

“So I could subject myself to this sooner?” You questioned, your own anger boiling to the surface. “I mean, I guess I could’ve pulled you aside last week after you got done telling Tom about the hooker you’d fucked. But that seemed like a bro moment and I didn’t want to interrupt.” 

The color seemed to drain out of his face as he stared at you. The silence was more unnerving than his shouting. “You weren’t there when I woke up.” 

You swallowed thickly as you held his gaze. “Did you want me to be there? I mean I know you, Javi. I know how you operate.” You shook your head. “I left to spare myself the awkward morning after.” 

He sank back against his seat, hitting his head against the headrest twice before he finally found his words. “You can sit there and call me a jackass all you want, but you’ve been a bitch to me ever since that night. I tried. I fucking tried.”

“You tried?” You laughed harshly, shaking your head. “How the fuck did you try, Peña?” 

“I brought you coffee.” 

You stared at him, your mouth going dry. He had brought you coffee that Monday after. He’d left it sitting on your desk for you. He was already in meetings by the time you rolled into the office, but you had known it was from him. “I thought you were just… I don’t know.” Your shoulders sagged. “I thought it was like an olive branch.” 

“I tried to get you to go out with me. You shot me down.”

“When?” 

“A week after, maybe two. Fuck if I remember we were swamped with paperwork.” Javier dragged his fingers through his hair, staring out the driver’s side window. “It was late, eight or nine. I asked if you wanted to grab a drink and you laughed at me.” 

Your heart clenched as you recalled that precise encounter. “Shit.” You breathed out and covered your face. “I had just puked my guts out in the bathroom. I was just trying to get you out of the office before I puked again.” 

Javi let out a near-hysterical laugh as he turned his head to look at you. “I thought you were blowing me off. I gave up then. I figured you’d regretted that night and I had to stop chasing you like a dumbass.” 

“I didn’t realize.” You chewed on your bottom lip, feeling a surge of raw emotion come over you. “I hate hormones.” You lamented as you covered your face to hide the tears that were now spilling from your eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“No, baby. Don’t apologize.” Javier drawled out as he reached across the car and squeezed your leg. “I should’ve said something.” 

You shook your head, wiping at your tears. “What were you going to say? What was I going to say? We’re both fucking idiots.”

“It’s all gone to shit without Murphy.” 

“Yeah.” You said weakly as you sniffed, staring out your window. 

Javier kept his hand on your thigh, his fingertips drawing little circles against your pant leg. It was kind of annoying, but you knew he was just trying to be comforting. 

“I don’t expect you to be involved.” You finally spoke again. “I wouldn’t blame you. I don’t want or need your money.” You held up your hand when he started to interrupt you. “No one has to ever know who the baby’s father is.” 

“Are you going back to the states?”

You shook your head. “I don’t plan to. I’m sure they’ll try to hassle me into going back, but I’m not. I’ll take desk duty if I have to.” 

“So you’d just… What?” Javier’s grip on your thigh tightened. “Make me sit across the office from you, watching our kid grow and… pretend it’s not mine? I don’t know what kind of person you think I am, but—”

“You left your highschool sweetheart at the altar, Javi. You’re the kind of man who has one night stands and fucks hookers. You’re the perpetual bachelor and that’s fine.” New anger was brewing in your words. “I respect you enough to not want to ruin your M.O.” 

“How many times are you going to throw who I fuck in my face?” 

You laughed harshly. 

“Are you jealous?” He continued. 

“Am I jealous of the women you pay to fuck? No. I can’t say I am.” You stared at him pointedly. 

“You broke my goddamn heart when I woke up and you weren’t there.” Javier admitted with a deadly serious tone. “I thought we’d finally figured this out. But instead I woke up alone and confused.” 

“You have a heart?” Now you were just being mean for the sake of being mean. 

“Fuck you.” He snapped, pulling his hand away from your thigh. 

“That’s what got us into this situation.” 

“This isn’t a fucking game.” Javier snarled. “I don’t want to just be some deadbeat dad. Do you get that?”

“So you want to be involved?”

“With you.” He raked his fingers over his face, pressing his palms against his eyes as he let out a frustrated sound. “I want to be involved with you. Not just ‘cause you’re knocked up either. You and me? We can figure this out.” 

You stared at him like he was speaking a foreign language. You couldn’t believe Javier Peña was admitting that he wanted to be with you. You. 

“You don’t have to say that.” You stated. “If this is just because I’m pregnant, if this is some white knight bullshit. I don’t want it, Javi. I don’t want to put myself through it and I damn well don’t want to put our kid through it.” 

“For fuck’s sake.” He stared up at the roof of the car. “Am I not making sense? Have I not made it clear enough that I wanted you.” 

“But I know how you are, Javi.” You frowned as you stared at him. “You have this whole little life of yours—”

“I’m lonely.” Javier confessed, his voice actually cracking. “So fucking lonely.” He slowly turned to look at you, his dark gaze full of emotion. “I’ve spent the last three months feeling like I’m going crazy. I lost Murphy and then I thought I was losing you.” 

“Javi—”

“Don’t, ‘Javi’ me.” He snapped. “Do you want this?”

You stared at him, breathless, for what felt like a small eternity. “Yes.” 

His seatbelt snapped against the side of the car as he hastily undid it, surging across the center console. He cupped your cheek, dragging you into a surprisingly gentle kiss that stood in stark contrast with the anger that had flared between you.

Maybe it was a mistake. You were both volatile people, you always had been. Maybe it would end in flames in a week or a month or twenty years down the line. But maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe it would work out. Maybe you and Javi were going to be alright. 

mistakes like this, pt. 4

pairing; javier peña x reader summary; you dumbasses finally get over your inability to communicate rating; m warnings; angst, talking about sex and alcohol and sort of talking about consent word count; 3.0k a/n; never thought my first time writing smut would turn into a four part series. and now its done and i loved writing this. i’m thinking about some side pieces from javi’s perspective and/or an epilogue (maybe smutty?), so i’ll leave y’all on the taglist unless you request to be removed. enjoy! previous; part one, part two, part three

mistakes like this masterlist

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

“Javi—” you started. You were tired and it was late. Your stomach was churning at the sounds of the previous half-hour. “You need to leave.”

You closed the door only for it to be stopped, inches from the frame.

“Wait! Y/N,” Javier said, “I can’t lose you.”

You knew the sound of tears in someone's voice. Hell, you sounded the exact same when talking to Connie. You didn’t pity Javier the way you assumed Connie pitied you, but you couldn’t help but wonder what had happened and why he was at your door, again. 

“You already did, Peña.” Your voice came out cold and flat. 

“I know and I fucked up,” he said. 

You laughed. That was the understatement of the century. 

“Yeah. And I lost my best friend.” You took a deep breath. “Javi, I don't have the energy for this, I just want to go to sleep. You’ve done enough damage today.”

As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you were still recovering from everything Javier had said. It hurt, knowing he didn’t care. That you had gone from being everything to one another, to being practically nothing. You wanted him back, but you knew you couldn’t ever be the same around him. It was too hard. 

Javier was still standing in the doorway. Maybe saying what you had was too harsh. Too hard for a guy who had clearly been crying and was only half-dressed. But you were still processing what he had done. Hearing him fuck another woman, so soon after you fought, so soon after treating you like trash. 

It had hurt more than you expected it to. 

You weren’t in a relationship, so he had all the right to do it. But that didn’t cushion the blow. You had just admitted you loved him. To Connie, and to yourself. Hearing him only felt like the final twist of a knife you never expected to have been impaled in your chest. 

You motioned to turn around, about to close the door again. 

“I love you.”

You froze. Javier’s eyes were wide and his mouth parted in shock at his own words. 

Once you recovered from those words, ones you hadn’t heard spoken to you in a long time, ones that had probably not come out of Javier’s mouth in a long time either, the humor of it all struck you. 

He said he cared about your friendship. He said he was scared of losing you. He said he loved you. But all his actions didn’t match up. There was no way he could be telling the truth, no way that the two of you felt the same way about each other. That didn’t happen to people like you: DEA agents working their asses off, numb to everything, killing people. You didn’t get happy endings like that.

You laughed out loud, and Javier still stood there, watching.

“Is that why you fucked someone else?” you asked.

Javier paused, something flashing across his eyes. Fear, maybe? You maintained eye contact with him, waiting for a response. Anything to explain the roller coaster of emotions that was now flooding your body.

“I thought I had lost you, I needed to, you know,” he said, “but all I could think of was you.” 

He was looking down at the ground, and you thought you heard a sniffle but you couldn’t be sure. This wasn’t the Javier you knew. Not the cocky asshole who would push people away and throw up a middle finger at the first sight of emotions. This was someone else. Someone giving up their shell, baring themselves to you. 

“I said your name,” Javier whispered.

You couldn’t help your heart from soaring at those words before feeling the pang of guilt. You imagined him in bed with the woman, how she would have been enamored by him. Like everyone was. Like you were. How at the heat of the moment, no matter how impersonal things were, Javier let out another person's name. You had felt that sting before, sometime back in college, and you wouldn’t wish it on anyone. No matter how much that meant Javier was honest in his words to you.

“That just makes you an asshole. To at least two women today,” you spit out. 

“And I want to make it up to one of them,” Javier said, pleading.

“Saying you love me doesn’t fix things,” you said. You were wary with your words. Javier might love you, but you couldn’t ignore that he never did relationships. Who was to say he would be able to do one with you?

“I know. Can I explain myself?” he said. At least he was trying.

You wanted to push him away. Slam the door on him and try to forget. This had only further complicated things. You wanted to give him a shot, but he had proven time and time again, over five years, that he wasn’t interested in relationships. You couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t fail you.

But then again, what other woman had he sacrificed nights out for? All so that you could vent about work or sit and drink with him. You were so close, it could practically be considered dating. That is, if you removed the dates and the kissing. That was what had killed you over the years. That was what you had to push down and try to forget.

But Javier loved you. That wasn’t something you could ignore. More than anything, you were disappointed that this realization didn’t send you over the moon with joy. You wished it could have happened that morning when you were still hopeful. When you hadn’t been treated like shit. But the damage had been done, and now you struggled to even believe the words you were hearing.

You looked up at Javier. He was waiting for your response, one hand in the other, massaging his own fingers in the nervous gesture you recognized from days out in the field when he didn’t have cigarettes or alcohol to fall back on. It was cold too, out in the hallway, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt, and as much as he tried to hide it, you could see the goosebumps littering his skin.

Eyes drifting over his chest, you took in his appearance. He was very clearly just having sex, his pants haphazardly buttoned on and his lips were swollen. His cheeks were redder than usual and your eyes swept over his body. You remembered seeing him like this, back when you made him look that way. But this time it was another woman’s fault. 

Another woman that he had used and called her by your own name. It was admittedly one of the suckiest moves a guy could make, except throwing a girl aside as soon as you had had sex, as Javier had you. But you knew Javier would only beat himself up over it. And he was here, trying to make things right, saying words you thought he couldn’t ever say.

“Fine.” You stepped aside, holding the door open for Javier. He hesitated before stepping across the threshold, avoiding eye contact as he sat down on the edge of your couch. Javier propped his elbows onto his legs, leaned forward, and ran a hand through his hair. 

You watched him from the doorway, not sure if he was about to say something or would wait for you to come fully in. You closed the door and walked up to the edge of your kitchen island, leaning against the counter and facing Javier. The apartment was dark, a faint glow from the streetlights passing through your curtains washed the room with yellow. It lit Javier up from the back, giving his hunched figure an angelic glow. No matter how angry you were, he was always the most beautiful person you had ever seen. Somehow you had fallen for a man who had only gotten more stunning with age.

Standing against the island, hands behind your back, you take a deep breath. Javier has got to say something. Your mind is racing, unsure whether to fixate on how beautiful he is or how angry you are or how frustrating it is that he hasn’t said anything.

Javier looked up, mouth opening and closing without saying a word, and then he croaked out in a tear-marred voice, “I love you.”

“You’ve said that,” you said, trying to steady your breath. Hearing it the first time you weren’t sure what to think. This time, however, it was hard not to smile.

“I...I don’t know how to do this, Y/N,” he said.

Of course he didn’t. Javier hadn’t talked about emotions with anyone. The closest he’d probably gotten was drunken nights with you. Drunken nights where you didn’t have sex.

You could see how hard this was, admitting things, for him. Hell, you knew that the reason he had sex with so many unnamed faces and prostitutes was a coping mechanism for all the feelings he didn’t want to talk about. He hadn’t let anyone get close enough to him in a long time. He probably hasn’t loved anyone for even longer.

“Why don’t you start with explaining why you said that shit in the office,” you prompted. If you could understand why he hurt you like that when he supposedly loved you, maybe you could start making sense of things.

“You said it,” he sighed, “You heard everything, I don’t know what else—”

“Why did you wish it never happened?” you interrupted. “Because I don’t know if I wanted it or not, but I wouldn’t have regretted it. Not if you hadn’t made me feel like it was nothing more than a mistake.”

That was something you weren’t sure if you were ready to admit, but your mouth worked faster than your head sometimes.

“I wished you weren’t drunk, Y/N,” he said, “That’s what you weren’t letting me tell you earlier…. I wish I could have done that—kissed you—when we were both sober.”

Oh.

Oh.

That changes things.

If he had wanted to do that? If he had said that and you had misunderstood? If you had yelled at him? Told him you couldn’t be friends anymore? Didn’t that make you the bad person?

“I woke up that morning, and you were right there—so fucking beautiful—and then I realized I had taken advantage of you. I didn’t want to have done that. I felt horrible,” he said in your silence.

You had both been idiots.

“I was hoping that morning that things would be okay, and then you weren’t talking to me,” you said. “I acted like one of your hookups, just laying myself out there for you. And you then treated me like one the next morning.”

Your voice cracked as you spoke and a few tears began to fall. You had tried so hard to remain stoic in front of Javier, but you couldn’t anymore. It was all too much, discovering that you had been wrong this whole time. That you had beat yourself up over everything when Javier was doing the same damn thing.

“Earlier today, when you said something about being a whore?” Javier said, swallowing. He looked up at you, and you stared back down at him.

You weren’t sure where this was going, and you hoped he wasn’t about to screw things over again. From what had happened in the past minutes, you had hope, but that speck of doubt still sat in your stomach.

“You’re not,” he continued. “Not that there’s anything wrong with being that, but Y/N, I know you. I know you better than anyone else. You’re the most amazing woman and I could never think of you as just another hookup.”

You were frozen in place. Javier was looking up at you. He was sitting up now, one hand gripping his other arm tightly. You had been so wrong. About everything.

“I’d wanted to do that with you for a year or so now,” Javier said.

‘You have?’ you wanted to ask. But you didn’t. You could hardly believe what he was saying. You were only just starting to fully understand that he loved you. And to hear that he has for so long?

“Ever since the time you fell asleep on my couch, it wasn’t even eight and you were passed out after the day we’d had. You almost got shot earlier that day, I thought I was going to lose you,” he said. You remembered that day so vividly. “We all almost died. And the look on your sleeping face, like nothing was wrong. And I was just so glad you were even there.”

That day had been awful. You had come along on a raid with Javier. Everything was fine until you were ducked beneath a shattered window of the apartment next to a sicario’s, bullets flying overhead. Javier was next to you. You would never forget the sound of the grenade going off meters away, on the other side of the wall. The pressure of the blast sending you two flying. Exposed, you made a run for it.

Someone had followed you down the streets and between buildings. The chase led you over rooftops and when you lost them you had collapsed, all energy gone.

Later, when you found Javier again, you returned home. You couldn’t go into your apartment alone. Your hands shook as you put the key in the lock, and you stood in front of your apartment, door open, but too scared to enter. Javier had come up behind you, led you into his place, warmed up a microwave dinner, and you ate in silence on the floor of his living room.

You were still shaking when you curled up on his couch and he wrapped you in a blanket, and you turned on the TV. He sat on the other end of the sofa, legs brushing against yours, and didn’t say a word.

Looking back, you knew you had loved him for most of your friendship. Moments like that where he made you feel like someone cared for you more than anything, those were what hurt the most. Knowing you’d never have him, as unavailable as he was for romance.

Apparently, you had been mistaken.

“Every day after that I’ve wanted to kiss you.” He stood up from the couch as he said those words. “I’ve wanted to hold you in my arms, and make sure a day like that would never happen again.”

“Why didn’t you?” you breathed.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you kiss me?”

“It’s the DEA, Y/N,” he sighed. “We can’t, we shouldn’t have. And either way, you were my friend, and you don’t, you know, obviously, feel the same way.”

You wanted to scream at him. Of course you did. How could he not see that?

Javier lowered his head. His voice was painful to listen to as he held back tears. “And I didn’t want to ruin it, like I did today.”

“Javi, I—” you started. He had ruined it, sure, but he had also more than fixed things. You still weren’t sure if you could trust him, but it didn’t matter because there was a sharp pain in your chest as you looked at Javier and saw the tears running down his face. Seldom did you see any man, especially Javier, this vulnerable.

He was putting his whole self on the line for you, and you were damn sure going to do the same.

“I’ve wanted so much more from you, for a long time now,” you said, “I think I fell in love sometime in between beer bottles littering your coffee table and late nights watching crappy Colombian action films.”

You were smiling and sniffling and you didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“I wasn’t sure if that night I let you kiss me because I was drunk or because I wanted it, but if you had caught me sober—” You lowered your voice to a whisper. “I would have done the same thing.”

Javier’s jaw had dropped a half an inch, mouth hanging slightly ajar, and you bit your lip. It was a lot to process. You had been wrong about many things, but most of all, you had missed out on Javier. You had missed out on everything.

Javier took a step closer to you.

“Are you sober now?” he asked.

“Yes?” you said.

He stepped forward again, right in front of you. You were pinned between Javier and the island as he stared down at you. The look on his face was intense, his eyes boring into your skin, his facial muscles softened. He placed one hand on the rim of the counter beside you. You could feel the heat radiating off of his bare skin.

“Good,” he said.

He reached one hand up to touch your cheek and leaned in. His face was inches away from yours when he stalled, letting you meet his lips. Your eyes fluttered shut as you made contact, his lips soft against your own.

You wrapped your arms around his body, and he moved the arm that was once beside you around your waist, pulling you away from the counter and into his chest. You were wearing your sleep shirt, and the thin fabric was not much of a barrier between you and Javier, causing you to gasp against his mouth.

“I’m never going to stop saying it, Y/N,” Javier said, “I love you.”

He swiped his thumb once across your lips before wrapping that arm around you too, holding you tight and close.

“I love you too.” You were breathing heavily, and you rested your head in the crook of his neck, inhaling the scent of his sweat and a light hint of cigarettes.

“I’m so sorry for making you feel like I didn’t,” he murmured into the skin of your shoulder.

“Javi, I’m sorry too. For pushing you away. I didn’t realize you—I was so scared. Scared that I had lost the person I cared about most,” you whispered.

He laughed softly, his frame shaking against yours. “I’m never gonna let you go, you know.”

You smiled. “Please don’t ever, Javi.”

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Kintsukuroi

Note: Originally i had this whole sad 1st chapter of another Javi fic written out and ready to edit but my dumbass was too sad to post it. The title kind of doesn’t match but i don’t have the brain cells to think of a new one. And this was born because this word has been bouncing around my head all day, so *shrugs idontknowokay??* I really did mean for this to be cute but this is all i got 😅

Warnings: angsty Javi? I can’t think of anything else...

Prompt?: First ‘I love you’

Word Count: 1,261

Pairing: Javier Pena x Reader

Kintsukuroi: (n.) (v. phr) “to repair with gold”; the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken

He pulled into the driveway, the lights already on in the dimming sunlight. He wasn’t good enough. You would end up worse than him. He thought bringing you back to Laredo with him would be a step in the right direction but it didn’t help seeing as how a simple trip to the store resulted in him running into people he grew up with. Children and spouses’ proof that time had passed and left Javi behind, chasing bad guys that would never stop appearing. He could spend the rest of his life chasing the next one and you, you would follow him to the end of the world without hesitation.

But he saw the way you were with his cousin’s children, the way your eyes lit up and you ran around after them. He sighed and banged his head on the steering wheel. He wasn’t meant for that. He wasn’t meant to settle down, he’d never be able to stop and every moment he stayed here, the more helpless he felt. But going back to work would only result in you following blindly, putting you at risk once more.

He could die and come back a million times over and never deserve you.

To think that only this morning he was waking up with those three heavy words in his mouth. You mumbled in your sleep a lot and he couldn’t help but want to whisper those words, even if you never heard them, if only in hopes that it might bring you peace. But then your eyes snapped open and met his and he felt the fight leave your body. You pressed your lips against his before he could speak, stealing them from him without even knowing.

“Fuck,” he hissed, bringing his fist down on the dashboard. No matter how many times he spun it, it didn’t add up, not for you. The clock on the dashboard blinked, letting him know he’d been out here too long but he would do anything to postpone what he knew was coming. He could already imagine your face falling if he even mentioned this to you. But if he broke it off, you could have a chance. A chance to a life where you got everything you deserved.

He started the trip back to the house, his heart growing heavier with each step until he was sure he wouldn’t be able to carry it any further. You’d have to take it with you, leaving him hollow for the rest of his life. He stopped at the door, his face hardening to protect any weakness you might find and use against him. He wouldn’t let you see how much this would kill him.

“(y/n)?” After months of only referring to you as cariño, your real name tasted like vinegar in his mouth. Every part of him screamed to stop, to reconsider but what kind of man would he be if he stayed with you knowing it wouldn’t work out down the road? How could he give himself up to you when you might break him later?

“Kitchen!” You called back, your melodious voice pulling at his heartstrings. He’d never be able to hear your voice again. Not the way it came out with a laugh as if he was the most amusing thing in the world to you.

He shook his head and forced himself to go to you. You were by the stove, your back to him but as soon as you heard the bags dropping, you turned to face him. He opened his mouth, ready to force the words out of him before you could stop him.

But then all he could see was your smile, alight with something more than happiness, something pure and impossible to reach. The dying rays of sun outside were an embarrassment compared to the way your eyes shone and suddenly he understood why Icarus flew too close to the sun. If the sun looked at him like it could offer him everything in the universe, Javi would just have to follow in his steps, regardless of whether or not he met his downfall.

Your lips moved as you began to speak but he couldn’t hear you over the hum in his ears. His defenses crumbled to dust, leaving no pieces to pick up and reform his armor as he looked at you in complete awe. How could someone look at him, so broken and hardened by life, and still smile like he was worthy of something so beautiful?

“Javi, que paso?” Your voice broke through his daze as your face morphed into one of concern. His mouth opened and closed for a moment as he tried to remember what he was going to tell you. “Javi!”

You stopped in front of him, your hands cupping his cheeks lightly as you tried to meet his gaze. He swallowed hard, gripping your arms tightly. You looked up at him, completely as his mercy not a single ounce of fear that he could ever hurt you. He arms snaked around your waist pulling you towards him so fast your hands fell to his shoulders to keep from stumbling. Your eyes held patience that whispered take your time finding your way back to me. I’m here when you’re ready.

“I love you.”

And just like that he handed over the dagger that had the power to rip him to shreds the moment you decided you didn’t want him anymore. The dagger that he’d used countless times to remind himself that he wasn’t good enough for anyone to love. That he wasn’t worthy of someone’s love, especially not someone like you. The dagger that had already sliced his heart many times as punishment for every time he considered letting someone into it.

“Really?” Your voice was barely above a breath of whisper. He nodded, his heart pounding in his chest so hard he was certain you could feel it beating against you from how tightly he was holding you to him. You let out a breath of laughter, a sound that almost could have been tears if he didn’t know you any better. “I love you, too, Javi.”

His lips crashed against yours in an attempt to promise everything he couldn’t say. All those pleas for you never to have to use that dagger on him and all the promises that he’d be the man you needed and deserved.

Little did he know that the dagger melted into a pool of silver in your loving hands. A pool of silver that you used to fill up all the cuts on his heart, putting him back together and promising to always pull him back together. Promising to prove he was worthy of your love forever and always. Promising to always see the beauty and good in him before any broken pieces he saw left over.

You filled every crevice in his being, filling him with love until it was just you and him, and him and you, and nothing could ever come between you two. Nothing could ever harm one of you without going through the other first and you were both too stubborn to even consider moving out of the way. Whatever life decided to throw at you, you’d deal with together.

When he finally pulled away, breathless and in a daze he pulled you into him burying you in his chest so you could feel him around you. A brush of his lips on your forehead had you smiling against his chest.

“Say it again.”

“I love you, Javier Peña.”

~~~

Ideally, as i get better as a writer, i’ll hopefully come back to this and cringe even further into my embarrassment and rewrite this into something beautiful, but for now this will have to do. Thanks for reading! Any and all comments are loved and appreciated 🥰😘💜💜

Tagging my lovelies: @murdermewithbooks @pablopascal @rosamedina92 @hiscyarika @mostly-megan @brittritz @scarlettwitcher @laubeck10 @spacemacandcheese @hdlynnslibrary @daydreamin24-7 @waywardodysseys @dillylila 💜💜

Fathoms Below

Summary: Louis, Violet and Renata escape from the land dwellers and go back to their underwater home to inform the others.

Word Count: 2591

Read on AO3:

Renata stared at the mysterious object before her. Its shiny black color made the mermaid’s eyes sparkle with curiosity. What was it? Could you wear it? Did it smell? What did it taste like? All these questions bounced around her head as her bright yellow tail flicked up before plopping down with a faint thud on the sand. She had to know the answer to all of her questions but which one would she try to answer first?

After a moment Renata decided on her choice. As her tongue wandered towards the object she heard a loud exclamation with words she couldn’t understand. Renata opted to not focus on those words. Instead she gave the object a long lick.

Suddenly she felt eyes staring at her. Renata turned to see two land dwellers looking at her in shock. Renata’s eyes grew large as her tongue paused mid lick. The air around the cove grew tense but was quickly broken when Violet spoke up.

“Hey, dumbass, get back here now! Fucking hurry!”

Violet’s frantic cry made Louis emerge from the water. With a mighty leap his evergreen tail shone in the light for all to see before he splashed back into the water.

Renata knew what she had to do. She had to be brave and make it back to the water as quickly as she could. Land people were bad news. With a dramatic lunge Renata flopped onto the ground and began to spin her arm in circles. Whether or not that helped propel her forward wasn’t clear but it made her feel speedy. Renata continued forward, doing a series of what she was sure were beautiful belly flops. Of course those belly flops ended up causing the sand and small rocks on the ground to scratch against her belly. It hurt but she knew it was her best bet to escape and not become sushi.

“Warning! Warning! Warning! We gotta help her!” Louis panicked, swimming circles around Violet who was just as worried.

“Renata! Move your ass! Come on!” Violet swam around Louis in circles as well. Both of them desperately wanted to help Renata reach the safety of the water sooner but the land dwellers were right there.

Renata took a deep breath and spun her arms around faster, giving breathtaking belly flops as she made slow but steady progress. The encouraging words of her friends telling her that she had this as well as the worry in their eyes pushed Renata’s determination into overdrive. Based on the land dwellers’ reactions they had most likely found out that all three of them were merpeople. She was nearly there when one of the land dwellers spoke again, trying to get the other one to help them somehow.

Violet quickly stopped that conversation from finishing as she sent a mighty wave crashing towards the surface and slamming against the land dweller. That seemed to do the trick as the other land dweller hurried to check on her friend. Renata put her all into her last belly flop and successfully landed in the water face first before her yellow tail slipped into the cove’s waters. Louis immediately linked his arm with hers then grabbed Violet’s hand. Using all the might of his tail Louis swam under the water, disappearing below the surface and towards the safety of their home.

After a few minutes Louis let go of both of them and swam round Renata. “You’re safe! You didn’t get hurt, right?” Louis twirled around Renata then looked at her with concern.

“Yep! All that was hurt was my tummy!” Renata smiled warmly and swam with a newfound peace now that she knew the land dwellers wouldn’t nab them.

“You almost got caught,” Violet mumbled and swam ahead. “Now they know what we are and once we tell the others there’s no way in hell we can go up there again,” Violet frowned back at her pair of friends.

Her words made Renata’s smile falter for a moment and Louis froze mid-swim. The ends of his tail went limp as he processed what Violet had said. “Wait, no! We can still go up there somehow. The land dwellers seemed nice, especially that golden eyed one. She liked my gift from earlier!” Louis swam forward, catching up with his best friend who was leading the way back home.

“Besides, those stick leg folks are dumb! They don’t even have good or tasty food. That weird black block was stale or something,” Renata’s tail flicked back and forth wildly as she navigated through the seaweed and passed a school of fish to catch up with her friends.

Violet sighed in annoyance as she weaved her way through some colorful fish. “Doesn’t matter if they were nice or if they’re dumb. It would not only be our tails but everyone else’s if the other land dwellers believed those two,”

Louis and Renata were silent at those words, knowing Violet was right. The rest of the swim back home was rather quiet as the three moved through the sea with relatively fast speed.

It wasn’t long before Violet caught sight of home. The tall patches of seaweed where small sea creatures hid away from the larger ones that wanted them for dinner served as a marker that they were close. Violet flicked her pink tail, causing the small creatures to scatter in a panic and zoom off towards the large pillars of sea stone that represented an entrance to the small underwater city the merpeople called home.

Louis’ face immediately brightened when he saw the familiar sight of the different caves that were formed within a massive block of sea stone that the merpeople had smoothed out over the years. The walls were adorned with different sea shells and stones that had become luminous and glossy thanks to the different currents under this great sea.

By the entrance was James who was happily picking soft purple coral to surprise Jesse. The scales on his warm grey tail shimmered in the light as a happy little tune escaped his lips that he was sure only he and Jesse could hear. The merman looked over at his love who was busy being in absolute awe of the wonders of seahorses. Jesse’s eyes shone with excitement and happiness as he studied the golden sea horses who were absentmindedly floating up and down without a care in the world. Jesse’s bright silver tail stood out amongst the gold of the seahorses as he tried not to disturb their space.

Soon his attention was drawn away when James surprised him with a small necklace made from the purple algae. Due to its softness it was able to sway in the small currents underwater without scratching at Jesse’s chest. Jesse smiled lovingly and stole a few quick kisses before inviting James to watch the seahorses with him. Violet, Louis and Renata soon passed the pair and were drawn to the excited voice of one of the younger merpeople.

“Allie!” Willy called out. His copper tail dragged along the sandy bottom of the sea floor while a tiny squid covered his face. The merman navigated blindly as he tried to find his love. Allison watched with amusement as Willy waved his hands this way and that before running into a small sea rock.

“Shit, Willy!” Allison’s amused smile disappeared as she rushed over to Willy. Her blood red tail swooshed this way and that as she sliced through the water to reach him faster. “Are you okay?”

Allison helped up Willy who was silent as he struggled to get the squid off his face. After a moment or two of struggling he successfully got the sea creature off who wiggled around in his grasp. “Look, Allie, look! I got us a new buddy for our daily swims! His name is Inky!”

Just as Willy declared the squid’s name it sent out a jet of black ink which covered the two merpeople. Allison and Willy roughly coughed as the ink slowly dissipated and was swept away by a swift current. Once the water was clear around them the two smiled at each other before Willy tucked Inky under his left arm and grabbed Allison’s hand. Soon the two merpeople were happily swimming off, talking of adventures that they wanted to share together.

“Come on, we should tell Javi and Santi,” Violet swam forward and passed by Omar who was walking back with a crab in his mouth that he had bested.

“Hey there, Omar!” Louis gave a friendly wave to the merman. “Is that for dinner?”

Omar glanced up at his friend. His black tail moved at a steady pace to keep himself afloat, the bits of silver scales on it shimmering for a moment before disappearing as the touch of the faint light that shone from above shifted. Spitting out the crab, Omar caught it before replying.

“Yeah but it's only a small part. Ruby is busy catching the rest with Aasim,”

“Ooo! I can’t wait! Your cooking is the best in all the seas!” Renata beamed and Omar gave a small smile in response.

“Thanks. I should get going; I have a lot of work to do,” Omar gave a wave which the trio returned. After the small gesture the merpeople went their separate ways and Violet noticed Brody chilling on a large stone, basking in the underwater light as she looked at her collection of colorful seashells. The auburn mermaid let the current flow through her hair and let the ends of her baby blue tail sway with the water’s movement.

“Brodes!” Mitch’s booming voice drew her attention over to the merman with the yellowish green tail. A confident, smug grin was resting on his face as he made his way over to his love. The blue claws of crabs clung onto different parts of his tail. He quickly shook them off. “I finally did it! I fucking beat those little shits that Sophie said were impossible to beat! That proves that I’m the best merman around!” Mitch smiled and swam around Brody, his tail brushing against hers. “It proves that I can protect you,”

Brody smiled warmly at her love and kissed his cheek, causing the merman to freeze mid swim. “I already knew you could protect me,”

Those words made Mitch’s heart swell and he quickly swam next to Brody to see what she was doing.

Soon Violet’s attention returned to the task at hand and she spotted the merpeople she was looking for after moving by Sophie whose shimmery white tail was curled around Marlon’s maroon one as she tried a new nickname for him.

“Mar-kerel!” Sophie smiled but it soon faded away when she realized she didn’t like the nickname. “Nah, I think I'll stick with Mar and Mackerel,”

“Sounds good to me,” Marlon looked into Sophie’s eyes then pressed a small kiss to her nose. Sophie returned the gesture before she caught sight of her best friends. With an excited smile she gave a quick goodbye to Marlon then swan off after Violet and Renata.

“Vi! Ren! Lou! You’re back! How were the land dwellers this time? Do they still have stick legs? Or is it a disguise for their tails?” Sophie asked as she swam around the trio.

“You’re starting to sound like T,” Louis smiled at his redhead friend who shrugged.

“What can I say, I guess I’m curious too. I totally wanna come with you the next time you go up to the cove!” Sophie’s giddiness translated to her tail which swooshed around wildly.

“We’re not going again,” Violet grumbled and continued on forward. Her words made Sophie pause for a moment and she looked between Louis and Renata.

“We’re about to explain everything to Javi and Santi,” Renata smiled at her best friend then swam forward. Sophie nodded and quickly followed behind the group.

Soon the four of them were heading towards Javi who was in the middle of flirting with Santiago. His deep blue tail tickled Santiago’s chin before he twirled forward and captured the rose gold tailed merman’s lips in a soft kiss. After a moment the couple noticed the other merpeople coming forward and put kissing time on the backburner.

“Hey, you made it-”

Javi was cut short when a new voice called out.

“You made it back!” Minnie swam forward, her smokey grey tail moving at a rapid pace to close the distance between her and Renata as quickly as she could. Soon the redheaded mermaid tackled her love in a hug and spun her around before letting go and swimming around her. Minnie’s tail locked with Renata’s for a moment before she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend once more.

“Minnie!” Renata happily began to pepper Minnie’s face with kisses that made her turn as red as her hair.

“I was starting to get worried since you took so long,” Minnie held onto Renata.

Sophie snorted at her twin’s words. “Starting,” Sophie used air quotations and Minnie sent her a look.

“No need to worry, I’m A-okay beside some tummy scratches!” Renata smiled brightly at her love.

“You got hurt?” Minnie’s eyes flickered with concern as she searched Renata for any more injuries.

“Yep! And only belly kisses will heal it,” Renata gave a playful smile over at Minnie.

“You don’t deserve belly kisses!” Violet’s tone made everyone look over her way, surprised by her suddenly jumping into the conversation. The pink tailed mermaid maintained her deep frown. “Renata made us blow our cover to the land dwellers and it was all because she had to lick something shiny or whatever,” Violet crossed her arms while her tail flicked with annoyance, keeping her afloat.

“You did what?” Santiago swam forward, the worry clear on his face.

“It wasn’t on purpose. I just wanted to see what was so great about the land dweller’s stick legs but then I got distracted by the shiny black block. I didn’t mean to let them see our tails,” Renata’s face fell.

“So they saw all three of you and your tails?” Javi moved closer to participate in the conversation.

Soon Violet summarized what had happened along with Louis and Renata who jumped in to add certain parts here and there. Some details were important while others like Renata talking about her flopping skills and Louis getting caught up in how pretty one of the land dweller’s eyes were weren’t crucial story beats.

After the trio had finished sharing, Javi and Santiago swam off a little distance to discuss the situation. It was clear based on the different merpeople’s reactions that their opinion on land dwellers was varied. After a few minutes the couple swam back over towards Violet, Louis and Renata.

Javi spoke first. “Okay, Santi and I have decided that it's best to stay put down here for a while. That means no one is allowed to go up to the cove’s surface.” Javi looked around the merpeople as he spoke.

“That includes for shits and giggles, to sneak glances at land dwellers and to confront them,” Santiago looked at Sophie and Renata then at Louis and finally at Minnie. All the merpeople mumbled in agreement and that was that. They knew that if they stayed put for a few weeks these land dwellers would get just as bored as the ones before. But based on Louis’ distraught reaction to the declaration and Renata and Sophie’s secret glance this was surely not going to be a rule that would be kept.

TWDG Rarepairs week, Day 4: Modern AU

Ship: lujavi (Luke x Javi)

Words: Oh shoot, 3 616, how is it even possible?!

Luke sighed deeply, sitting on a chair next to his friend's hospital bed. He glared over the man who looked away, avoiding Luke's gaze. Luke had a couple of scratches and bruises on his face, while his friend wasn't so lucky and except for those things he also had a broken leg. Eventually, the friend got bored with avoiding the gaze and turned his face in man's direction.

"Come on, Luke, it's not you who stays here for a couple of days," the black haired man mumbled.

"Your uncle is gonna be pissed, Nick," Luke pointed out.

"Honestly? I have no regrets," Nick smiled and looked at the ceiling.

"Okay, so do your thing, I guess. I'm getting out before Pete starts a riot," Luke sighed, getting up.

"You're a coward," Nick teased jokingly. Luke smiled and turned his head a couple of times.

"Nope, you're not getting me on the same trick twice. No way," the man answered.

"Damn it," Nick swore. He then sighed, eyeing Luke. "Try not to die while I'm away," he joked.

"Same goes to you, buddy!" Luke answered and waved goodbye before leaving the room.

As he was leaving, he passed Carlos, the doctor that lived a couple of houses from his own. They greeted each other and the man approached Nick with a face that was giving off that it wasn't the first time they were seeing each other in a situation like this. Luke was about to leave the hospital when he realized it was raining outside. With a sigh, he ran out from the building, yet by the time he found his car in the parking lot, he was already soaked. He sat in the driver's seat and felt stupid for not using the hospital's parking lot. He maybe would have to pay a little, but at least he'd be dry. He eventually started the car and it slowly rolled over to the road.

As he was passing the hospital, he saw someone. A man around his age, with brown hair and wearing a T-shirt with some logo. He was, of course, soaked because of the heavy rain and was trying to catch a taxi. Yet, another one passed him and splashed water all over him. He sighed and just stood there, waiting for another one to appear. After a moment of hesitation, Luke pulled over and rolled his window down.

"Trying to catch a ride?" he asked, and the stranger looked around uncomfortably.

"Yeah. Why?" the man asked, slightly eyeing Luke.

"I can drop you off somewhere if you want." Luke offered with a friendly smile. The man thought for a second.

"Yeah, that'd be nice. Thank you," he answered and slowly got around the car to sit next to Luke.

Luke started the car. They were driving in silence for a moment, while the stranger was trying to wipe the water off from his face with his clothing, that unluckily was soaked as well. With a sigh, he gave up.

"So, where should I drop you off?" Luke asked.

"Oh. Where will we be passing?" the stranger answered with another question.

"I'm going home, I live near the south side of the city, so we'll cross the center and head there. You live somewhere near?" Luke asked after explaining. The stranger took a moment to figure out where was south.

"Yeah, actually. A little more to the...left, I think, but yeah," he agreed.

"So I can basically drop you home," Luke offered.

"That'd be nice. Thanks," the stranger agreed again. "Hey, uh, not to be rude, but... what happened to your face?" he asked awkwardly after a moment of silence.

"Oh, this? It's a stupid story. Just, the dumbass I occasionally call 'my friend' figured it'd be a good idea to 'borrow' a shopping cart and ride in it down a hill. I was lucky, though, he has a broken leg," Luke answered, ashamed that he got tricked into that stupid idea. The stranger snickered.

"You did that? I heard something like this from my nephew but never would've guessed it'd be you," the stranger said surprised.

"And you? Did you got out of the hospital or something?" Luke asked.

"Yeah, but it was nothing serious, just a regular check-up," he answered.

"Check-up? You play sports?" Luke asked. The stranger smirked.

"Baseball," he answered simply.

"Oh, that's cool," Luke replied with a smile. "So, is it a hobby, or work?" he asked.

"Both," the stranger replied.

"Oh really? Why don't you have a car, then?" Luke questioned, causing the stranger to sigh.

"Brother dropped me off and didn't wait," he explained.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Should I turn left now?" Luke suddenly asked for directions.

"Yeah, that's here," he answered.

With a small conversation going on, Luke drove the man right to his house. He stopped the car near the sidewalk and turned it off.

"Thanks for the ride," the stranger thanked.

"No problem man," Luke answered with a smile.

"Oh, by the way, could you give me your phone number? I could return the money for the gas, then," the stranger offered.

"Uh, you don't have to," Luke answered.

"It's not much for me, I can pay," the stranger reassured and Luke nodded.

"Okay then," he answered and gave the man his phone number. After that, he saw the stranger nervously look at him and it took him a while to realize why was that. "My name's Luke," he introduced himself.

"Oookay, got it. And I'm Javier," he answered, shaking Luke's hand.

"All right, so see you later, I guess," Luke smiled.

"Yeah. Have a nice day," Javi wished.

Luke got home and returned to his daily routine. Ate some food, took his dog on a walk, fed it, read a chapter or two of a book that Sarah, Carlos' daughter had been recommending to everyone, did the dishes, ate dinner and without any issue fell asleep. In the morning, his routine was still undisturbed, followed by walking his dog and feeding it, eating breakfast, making the dishes and now instead of hanging out with his friend, Nick, he took his car and went to the hospital to check up on him.

By the time he left, it was afternoon and as he was making his way through the center, his phone rang. He stopped the car on a side of the road and picked up.

"Hey Luke, it's, uh, it's Javier. I wanted to give you back the money for gas," the speaker started.

"Oh, hi. Where are you?" Luke asked.

"Near the park in the center, but I have my car, so I can ride anywhere you need me to," Javier explained on the phone.

"All right, I'm just passing by, I'll be there in a couple of minutes," Luke assured.

"Oh, okay. So I'll wait here, I guess. See you in a minute!" Javi ended.

"Yeah, see ya'!" Luke answered and hang up.

He reached the park within' minutes, just as he promised and got out from the car, looking for Javier. When he spotted him he couldn't help but notice how different the man looked. He slowly approached.

"Hi, I'm here," Luke greeted.

"Oh, hi-" Javi answered and turned around, stopping midsentence as he saw Luke. "Oh, you look better when you're not, y' know, soaked," he said.

"Right back at you," Luke answered, smiling at the man.

"So, anyway, here's your money," Javi said, handing Luke money. Luke blinked.

"Are you sure? I mean- It's a lot more than I expected," Luke admitted.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Hey, by the way, maybe, I don't know, you wanna... go with me to eat something?" Javi offered.

"Well, I mean, sure. I'm free for over a week since my friend's in, y' know, hospital, so I'd be just bored home anyway," Luke agreed.

"All right then, come with me, I know a nice place selling burgers, if you're down t it," Javi smiled.

"Lead the way, man," Luke agreed once again.

They went into some small burger pub and ordered some food there. In the meantime, they talked to each other. Javi told Luke some stuff about baseball while Luke told him about his dog and the book he was reading. It turned out Javi was also in the middle of it, so the two found another topic to get on for some time. After the food arrived it turned out way better than Luke would've expected, he made a note to return there one day. Just as they were about to go their ways, Javi stopped him.

"Hey, I've been thinking, maybe you'd like to come to the baseball play I'm taking part in? IT's tomorrow and it'd be nice to have a friendly face in the crowd," he asked, scratching his neck.

"I'll try to be there," Luke promised and they went separate ways.

On his way home, Javi was thrilled. He was just so happy to happen to meet Luke the day earlier and even more happy to somehow have contact with him. He couldn't really tell why was that, but he just immediately liked the man. He walked into his house and took his bat. He then got back in the car and rode over to the place he was training at. There, he was practicing swings alongside his friends from his team.

The next day Javier and his teammates entered the stadium, all ready to defeat their today foes and go further in rankings. Yet Luke was nowhere to be seen. Javi sighed and tried to shake the man out from his head. He had to focus on the game. For his own sake.

The game began and Javi's team was roughly losing it. It was hard to keep up with their foes, who were probably training way longer than Javi and his teammates were. Things were going downhill since the very begging and it was almost guaranteed that Javi's team would lose. There were 15 minutes left. Javi was trying to be ready.

The ball was coming his way, he swung and... missed. He could hear some people laugh. Distracted, he tried to hit the other ball. Not only did he miss, but he lost his balance and fell to the ground, causing more people to laugh. He tightened his grip on the bat in annoyance, unsure if he should even bother to get up. That's when while running his eyes through the audience, he spotted a familiar, friendly face. He just lied for a moment, looking at Luke in the audience and then he got up, filled back with determination.

He stood his ground, turning his bat slowly, ready to swing. The last ball was coming to him with rapid speed, but he didn't hesitate. He just took a deep breath, thought of everyone watching him and took his shot. The ball crashed into the bat and was thrown away because of it. It was flying, flying, flying... it eventually got past the audience and out from the stadium. Javi stood there for a moment, admiring his work, before moving further.

Within those 15 minutes, Javi's sudden energy rush not only helped him but motivated his team that, in the end, won. The audience was cheering, but Javi was mostly glad to see Luke happily watching him. They waved to each other slightly, just like they were some spies giving each other a signal informing that they see each other.

Javi had never switched clothes this fast before. He wanted to catch Luke before he left for good. He just quickly laughed with the whole team of his and cleaned his face from dirt that got onto it when he fell and he was already wearing sunglasses to avoid fans and running outside, looking for Luke. It didn't take him long to find him, standing somewhere near the exit and seemingly looking through his phone while actually keeping an eye out, just like he'd expect someone to appear.

"Luke!" Javi cheered, waving his hands around and getting man's attention. Luke smiled as soon as he saw his friend run like this.

"Hey! Good game!" Luke complemented, keeping his smile up.

"How could I lose with you watching?" Javi joked.

They were standing so close to each other and Javi wasn't sure why'd he do that. Maybe because he was so thrilled, maybe because he was too tired to think, maybe there was any other reason for this, he really had no idea. But for some reason that was probably deep inside his head, he kissed Luke. He realized only a couple seconds after. As he pulled away he was getting pale, but his lack of color was soon enough replaced with blushing all over his face. He hid it in his hands and tried to mumble some explanation-apology, but wasn't really able to. When he was already making a plan to move to the other side of the country and trick his family into doing so, Luke laughed and slightly patted Javi's back.

"It's okay, man, I get it, you won," Luke smiled.

"Yeah, sorry, it's just... because of all these emotions and... yeah," Javi agreed and took a deep sigh on the inside.

"How about we go back to that burger place to celebrate?" Luke offered and Javi smiled, feeling like he just got out from a tight spot.

"I think that's for the best," he agreed and they went there.

Next morning Luke woke up in his home, in his bed, with his head hurting. He ran his hand through his hair, making sure it was not because of hitting something overnight but couldn't find anything. He yawned and looked around. He finally realized that he was hungover after last night. The first thing he thought was if he took his dog on a walk, but as he saw it sleeping next to his bed he calmed down. Yet a moment later a more serious question ran through his mind, causing him to flinch.

"Did I drive drunk?" he asked himself in disbelief. "No. No, I wouldn't do that!" he calmed himself and then sighed. "I'm staying in bed today," he then decided and closed his eyes.

It wasn't long until his phone called. He somehow reached it and waited for the signal to almost end before picking up.

"Hello, you've almost reached Luke, but I can't talk now, so leave the message after the signal," he said and then made a sound with his mouth and put the phone away, listening.

"Hey man, I'm not sure if it's really your voicemail or you're just not up to a conversation, so I'll make this quick," Nick's voice rang out. "Carlos is letting me out tomorrow and I was wondering if you'd be willing to pick me up. Pete will most likely be in work and I have no way of getting home on my own," he explained. Luke sighed.

"I've got your back, Nick," Luke assured and he could hear Nick chuckle in the background.

"Thanks, man," he thanked and hang up.

Luke sighed and tried to fall back asleep as the phone rang again. Just like the last time, he waited until the very last moment before picking up and said the formula again. Yet, he wasn't interrupted by Nick. It was someone else. So Luke put the phone away and listened.

"Hey, uh, hi. It's Javi. I, uh, hope you're alright after last night. I'm calling to make sure and also to tell you that it was me who drove you home, so you have nothing to worry about. And also... I... I was thinking. Like, about what happened after the play yesterday. Y' know, when we met outside the stadium. I am now sort of glad you didn't pick up because I can just... talk. So, I... ugh, this is stupid. All right, so... I think- I- ugh... I like you, okay? Like, a lot. More than I probably should," he sighed " More than a friend," he finally let out. Luke's heart dropped. "And- and I get it if you now just wish you didn't pick me up that other day and that you'll most likely text me to say to stay away and that's how it'll end, but... just if there's a slight chance you don't hate me or even, I don't know, feel the same way? Just... just call back, please?" Javi ended, but before he hung up Luke shook out from his confusion and grabbed the phone.

"You're serious?" he asked quickly. A sudden gasp was to be heard, alongside with a sound of phone falling. Then, it was picked back up.

"L- Luke? You've... heard it?" Javi asked. He was trying to hide it, but he was terrified.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did," Luke confirmed and both men sat quietly for a moment.

"So... yeah. I guess I'll be going..." Javi awkwardly tried to end the conversation.

"No, wait!" Luke stopped him.

"Ooookay?" Javi asked.

"I- Ugh, figured it'd be easier to say after you did it, but, yeah, I- I think I might feel the same way...?" Luke said. He was now just praying it wasn't some prank.

"Wait, really?" Javi asked, not even able to believe it.

"Yeah. Yeah, really. So... maybe... I don't know, let's... meet around... 2 p.m.? If you're free? Where... ever... you'd... like?" Luke offered, getting more shyer with each second.

"Uh... Yeah! That'd be- That'd be amazing!" Javi cheered through his phone. "So, maybe... at that cinema near the train station? What do you say?" he suggested.

"Sure," Luke nodded, even though Javi couldn't see him.

"Sooo... see you there?" Javi asked with a smile, even though he was not to be seen either.

"Yeah, of course. Bye," Luke hung up and lied back in his bed processing everything.

It all happened so fast he couldn't even really understand what was going on during the conversation and he had to think fast, but now was the time to analyze what happened. As he was doing this, he was blushing more and more, his body was slightly shaking, his breath and heartbeat were out of control... This conversation happened. He lied there in denial. Did he just set up a date for himself? Okay, maybe not date exactly, but something close at least? His emotions were offsetting each other, he was thrilled, excited, terrified, confused, worried, amazed, surprised, full of energy, froze up... He was going crazy!

He got up and ran into his bathroom and eyed himself in the mirror. He looked like a hungover beetroot, red all over his face, with messy hair and empty gaze. He jumped under the shower and took a fast, cold one to get rid of all these symptoms. When he got out he quickly dried his hair and made sure it looked okay. He eyes himself in the mirror again and was proud to say, he was looking better. Just like a beetroot, because the blush was not coming off. He swore quietly and got back to his room, looking for something to wear. It wasn't an event requiring him to wear a suit or something, but not a one to which you come over dressed in T-shirt and a pair of worn out jeans. He ended up picking a shirt and a new pair of jeans he bought to himself recently.

He washed his face one last time, took his beloved dog for a walk and then, as he got back he washed his face one more time, still hoping to get rid of his reddish cheeks. When it failed he gave up and, checking the clock multiple times, got to the place 15 minutes early. To his surprise, Javi was also already there, also blushing as hell, which made Luke feel a little better about his own look. He approached awkwardly.

"H- hi!" he greeted and Javi almost jumped at his voice behind him.

"Oh, hi, you- you got here early!" Javi also greeted, with a smile that was hiding the panic.

"So did you. It's good to see you," Luke answered, also doing his best to hide that he was freaking out.

"Y- you too," Javi answered, nodding.

"I'm sorry if I'm awkward, I'm just... Still processing the who thing. I can't believe you actually... feel that way too." Luke went ahead and apologized. Javi snickered quietly.

"Then we'll be awkward together," he joked, bringing a smile to Luke's face.

"So it'll be. Any movie you want to see?" the man asked, slowly feeling more comfortable.

"No, and you?" Javi answered, also gaining confidence.

"Guess we'll look through the offers," Luke guessed.

"Seems like this. Let's go," Javi answered and then reached out to Luke with his shaking hand. Hesitantly at first, Luke took it and both men, blushing furiously, headed to the theater.

The next day Luke picked up Nick as nothing happened. He helped him to the car and started it, slowly driving off. Nick took out a water bottle he got from Carlos while he was leaving and took a couple of sips. He grinned and looked over to Luke.

"So, what'd I miss?" he asked, taking another sip.

"Oh, not much, man. I got myself a boyfriend..." Luke hummed and Nick choked on his water.

"You did WHAT?" he asked, wiping the water off his face.

"Started dating a man. Thanks for breaking a leg, that's how we met," Luke smiled, but kept his eyes on the road.

"Oh, so I'm involved? No take-backs, man, you gotta tell me everything now," Nick demanded and Luke chuckled.

"Fine, fine..." he agreed, starting the story.

Not That Different P2

I HAVE NO WRITING SKILL

"You ran into a ghoul?!" Kate hushed her friend, looking around the cafe nervously, "Kate this is serious. Nearly every ghoul attack leads to the victim dying." Eleanor explained. Maybe she shouldn't have told Eleanor. From the worried knocking on her door from her parents, to the constant text from her friend she almost got no sleep at all. "I know what happened out there Elle." At least she thought she knew. "I was walking home just after we split up, then he fell onto the dumpsters in an alley nearby. I had to make sure he was okay, then we I rolled him over he was wearing a ghoul mask. Then he showed off his kagune, it was an ukaku I think. The weirdest thing was...he looked out age." Eleanor stared at her friend with wide eyes. "So it was probably a rookie. That's the only reason you got away most likely." Eleanor paused as Molly approached her. Molly refilled the two girls cups, smiling at them. "Thanks Molly." Eleanor stated. Molly nodded, heading back to the counter. "Hey Lee. I'll have black coffee please, hot, and give me the strongest tasty beans you got." Kate looked up to see who was entering the coffee shop. The girl nearly dropped her cup as the ghoul boy sat at the counters, smiling at the owner. Kate glanced at the ghoul, then to the workers; Lee, Molly, Ava, and Luke. "One cup coming right up. Though your brother might be a bit agitated that your just roamin around." Lee chuckled, passing the boy a cup of coffee. Did these people not know who that boy was?! "Woah Kate. You okay? You've been, staring at that boy over there." Eleanor cooed. "Elle focus this is serious!" Kate pleaded. "I know it is...but just tell your dad. He's literally one of the best CCG investigators." Her father, Thomas Shenoy, senior investigator of the CCG. Her father was the reason she wanted to join the CCG. "Kate I need to run. But...be safe." Eleanor stood up, putting her bills on the table. "No don't go." Kate kept her mouth shut, biting her lip. Eleanor mouthed a goodbye, before walking away from the table. The remaining one watched as her friend left the cafe, passing through the windows. "Javi, you haven't been here in a while. Glad to see you." Molly smiled at the ghoul. Javi? Was that just a fake name, to lure in others. "I thought we wouldn't see you again for a long time.". "Don't worry Molly. I won't bother you guys long." He smiled at her, looking back at the waitress. Javi's eyes widened as he saw Kate staring back at him, and equal expression on her face. Kate tensed, putting some money on the table, before getting up quickly. Javi bit his lip, before getting up. "Javi?" Ava questioned from the back. "Just save my coffee!" The young boy ran out of the coffee shop, clenching his fist. Oh god, if she reported him to the CCG. NO, he couldn't think like that. He couldn't let her get away twice. Kate ran into the alley, taking deep breathes. She needed to learn what was going on. Why he had spared her, when he could've killed her. Javi rushed into the alley, surprised to see the girl waiting for him. Kate was hesitant, a bit afraid, yet...she trusted her gut. Her gut was willing to risk it, and figure out why this ghoul wasn't like the other monstrious ones her father told her of. "Javier...pretty tame name for...one of them." Kate rasped out. Javi blinked at her surpirsed. What was with her? First she complimented his kagune, and now she wanted to talk to him after what had happened. "I...yeah." He always wanted to just talk to humans, act normal, live, just live. His brother always had to remind them of the real world, how they had something better than others. Thinking of the reality of this all, and his brother, it made him realize if David found out he'd die. "It's stupid, New House... heh. Guess new child." Kate gave him a soft smile, calming down. "I...were you serious on what you said yesterday?" 'How  pretty.' He remembered how her exact words had caught him off guard. It was what saved her. Kate wondered if she had still died if she hadn't said those words. "Yeah. The prettiest ukaku I've seen." Kate replied. It felt just like talking to a normal person oddly enough. The glimmering pinks and purples illuminating before her. "No one's ever said that. Or tried speaking to us before." Javi replied sadly. Unlike his brother, Javi wanted to not just survive, but live. Not wanting to be cowering in fear. Having to kill innocents just to live. Yet he was born unfairly... "Maybe someone will. Why not...come with me back to the cafe, we can talk together." Kate explained. She pulled out a notebook from her school bag, before jotting something down in it. The boy stared back at her, staring in shock as she tore out the paper and passed it to him. Javi took it, reading out a number. "If you need to talk, come call me." Javi opened his mouth to reply, when his phone began to buzz. Groaning he pulled out his phone, staring at the caller ID. Her motioned Kate to hush, before answering the phone. "Hey David." The youngest answered. "Javi, where have you been." Javi flinched at his brothers tone. "Come on David, I already told you huntings going fine. Lil bro can take care of himself." Javi replied. Kate looked at him, watching him talk to the other member over the phone. He was lying about hunting right now? "Whatever. This mission should be done soon, don't get yourself killed. I don't need the CCG's getting you dumbass." David replied. "Oh thanks for the vote of confidence." Javi groaned out. Shaking his head, he hung up, before turning to Kate. "I'll keep it in mind." He said, putting the phone and paper in his pocket. "Your leaving?" She asked. "Yeah, I better head back before shit hits the fan." Javi replied, walking away. "Hey, next time you try to eat a girl out, take her to dinner first." Kate stated coyly. Javi tensed, his face going bright red. Kate laid on her bed, set in her pajamas. The girl worked on her geology notes, groaning as her cat climbed onto her bed. "Bailey come on." Kate mumbled as the cat climbed onto her notebook. The feline hissed at the girl, getting comfy on the papers. She rolled her eyes, undoing her braid. Just as she did, her phone buzzed. Glancing down at it, she noted the unknown number. On the lit screen displayed a message that worried her. 'Town square. CCG investigators nomination. All group attack as the men start moving.'

In the mind of a soldier

WARNING: Violent content, swearing, suicide attempts, you have been warned

I was a retired ex-marine. Spent at least 6 years of my 34 years of life on those fields. The moment I turned 18, I knew what I wanted to do. I knew who I wanted to be, a soldier, a hero. Being right of high school, I thought little to nothing of it. I had been dating a pretty girl I knew around the start of High School, Regina Alvarez. For some reason, I thought I’d come out of those wars a bright shining man, swooping my girl up in my arms, as we happily got married. But… life isn’t that forgiving. Instead, the war shattered my sanity. I came home…someone new. Someone different. I still married with Regina though, got her pregnant with our first child. But that dream, it wasn’t going to be as easy. No restful nights with my beloved, no no. Just agonizing nightmares, that woke me up in fits of screams. My comrades being shoot, the lives I had to take, permeantly engraved into my mind. Lashing out more often then I had before, and with every lash getting more and more verbal. However, Regina stuck by. I truly loved her, even if I had changed. Every time I woke up screaming, or couldn’t sleep, she’d hold my hands and stay up with me, watching our favorite shows on the bed together. Every time I yelled at her, she would be unfazed, and kiss me when it ended. Whenever I was unattached to the world, or thinking horrible thoughts, she’d have a shoulder to lean on, or ears to listen to. If I were to have a flashback, or a rare panic attack, she’d be by my side, embracing me in her warm arms. Anytime I tried to hurt my self, or something else self-destructive, she wouldn’t hesitate to slap me, and lecture about how stupid I was being, that I had a life to live for. She helped me through it. Through my waking nightmare. When the doctor was doing her ultrasound, and I was getting a therapy check, we both got the news. She was having a boy, and I suffered from PTSD. Sounds like she got the better end of the stick. It was getting better, slowly but surely…until… “David, you’ve changed.” Javi would say. That was the first my brother had said to me. For some god damn reason, something in my mind snapped. Like a demon was suddenly born. I began to beat my brother. My fist collided with him, but I had not moved. Yet, I saw it all. It was like my body was being controlled by a demon, a devil that I had turned into. Changed into. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop it. Things between Javi continued to break. Our relationship crumbling as time progressed. But even with that, I felt like my life was slowly being put together again. After our son Gabe was born, it got even greater. A child of my own, to raise and protect. The evil side of me never came out around him. The beast rearing it’s ugly head. But that didn’t mean it didn’t show itself to me or Regina. For some reason, when ever both we gone, or Gabe was with my parents, IT would come out. I would yell at Regina, screaming horrible things at her. Disgusting words would leave my mouth, and it finally got to the point where she would run out of the room crying. Dread would fill me, and I would crumble inside my broken body. My mind shattering, cracking, filling with darkness. Regina would come back, and we’d repeat the cycle over and over again. Until one day the beast took it to far. As if coming out of the pits of hell, ripping my own soul out of my body, and taking over, it did what I never wanted. During a heated argument, and it was stupid honestly. She had been watching the news, and I walked in just as it talked about the war. The beast took control of me, and I watched in pure horror as IT, in my body, screamed at my wife. Regine pleaded with IT, trying to make the beast calm down. The monster…IT…me..? It didn’t listen, and raised his fist. Regina was sent tumbling to the ground, sprawled out in pain. Control of my body came back, my eyes widening what I commited. I tried to help her up, and she pushed me away crying. My heart shattered, splitting with my mind. I remember how in the war, one of my comrades commented how we were killing monsters on those fields. And now every time I envision me killing a soldier in battle…I see myself… Every time I look in my reflection, there’s a beast staring back. I broke all the mirrors in my house, and let my fist just bleed. They would not have been infected if Javi had not come by to visit, and found me sitting in the bathroom bleeding. My younger brother patched me up, and called Regina. Even after all I had done, they still remained with me. Caring. Regina more then Javier, but still caring. And they continued as the years passed. Gabe had turned four before I knew it, and Regina exposed that she was expecting another kid. I was both excited, and worried. Would the beast come out again, and not only hurt my brother, and my wife, but my kids? No! I’d rather die then that. But with a broken mind, being humane can be difficult. I had taken multiple therapy sessions once Regina was hit, I went to everyone of them. I was dedicated to them, vowing Regina I’d get better for her. Promises were never meant to be kept though…. Regina grew very ill during her final trimester, and I had to quit the sessions to help watch Gabe while she stayed at the hospital. The doctors promised they’s help her. But promises aren’t meant to be kept. On her last month, the doctors gave us horrible news. Regina or our unborn baby. Sweet, sweet, Regina said our child right away. I did not deserve her… The doctors begin the labor on the special…awful day, telling us how she wouldn’t last long after the birth. My lovely wife did not mind, and even started going over names as it began. It was worse than last time though. She was screaming more, there was more blood. My mind flashed back to the days on the field, fragments in my head snapping in half. A panic attack came as I was forced to leave my wife alone, I was screaming. Begging, something I never did. I threw punches, yelled, anything to get her. Then there was a pain in my arm. When I came to, I was in the waiting room with my entire family. Little Gabe sat on my father’s lap, Javi next to me, and my mother immediately wrapped around me like a teddy bear. I wish it ended there, but the doctors called me over. They took me to her room, and I saw the dying version of my lover. I was handed our daughter, and I took a seat next to her. “Mariana…my sweet Mari…” Regina rasped out, taking my hand. Such a beautiful name for our little girl, our little miracle. Regina begged me to stay with her for her last moments. This would have to be the promise I kept to her… She held my hand, talking about random things that came to mind. This time I was the shoulder to lean on, the ears she could talk to. I sat for an hour….until I felt the warmth escape from her hands. I watched the life from my wife fade in a matter of seconds. My entire body became numb. Mariana was left at my mothers, and I went bar. Only 28, and already a single father with two young children. I spent hours there, and only left when Uncle Hector and Javi came to grab me. That didn’t stop though. Every weekend, I’d go at the same place, and same time. It was a long process, all the therapy I had before, thrown out the window. Medication for my headaches and flashbacks were losing effect. And with the beer…one day it became to much for my mind and body. The beast inside me clawed violently at my mind, until I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed my medications, and a can of beer. Without hesitation, I downed the pills, and drank the entire can within a minute. My stomach didn’t agree with that, and I ended up vomiting out everything. Mama and Papa found me hunched over the toilet, hacking out my insides, as tears ran down my face. They took me to the hospital straight away. The quick timing saved my life, and I had to have my stomach pumped in case there was anything left inside. My parents yelled at me about my drinking problem when the doctors talked about how unhealthy I was becoming, how much I was destroying myself. With this, they registered me to a support group, for addictions and stuff like that. A 29 year old man being forced to go by his parents, great. However, when I got there I honestly did not expect to meet someone so great there. Kate Rosenburgh. Bad girl, junkie type. Oddly enough, we seemed to hit it off. While I felt bad for getting over Regina so soon, my mother said it was okay as long as I was getting better. Things got complicated though when I told her about my kids. Kate remarked how she wouldn’t change who she was because of that. I stated I didn’t mind, and I didn’t. At first… With much struggle, I was able to hide my illness from her. After a year and a half, 18 months exactly, our entire family went to Javier’s big game. No one knew what I had planned, until the kiss cam came up. The moment it did, I took Kate’s hand, and got on one knee. Right then and there, I asked the question. Kate still mentioned how she wouldn’t change, and wasn’t step-mother material, but I dind’ care. Or so I thought. In that week, two other strange things happened that week. Javier had been banned from the league for betting on his own game, dumbass. And papa, papa got really ill. Not long after me and Kate’s wedding, papa was diagnosed with lung cancer. Now 31, I was already losing my father. Seeing him get weaker every day, reminded me to much of Regina. My mind flashed to my comrades bleeding out, dying all around me. Before I could stop it, the beast came back. I lashed out at Kate, and we fought a lot. She kept talking about getting a damn dishwasher, I was already paying my father’s hospital bills! I DIDN’T NEED ANOTHER BILL! Then one day, my brother moves in. And puts his damn nose in our business!!! HAVING THE BALLS TO TELL ME MY WIFE WANTS TO LEAVE ME!!! My temper only grew worse, my self control shattering instantly. Javi had the nerve to tell me that Kate wanted to leave me. With the little control I had, I only kicked him out for my home. But I was scared of what I really wanted to do. What the beast inside wanted to do. Every time I stared getting better, something would happen. The demon from within would break through and hurt everyone. The day dad died…. my mind was nearly gone, all self control non-existent. I was like a puppet being controlled by all the demons inside. My nightmares would only become worse… I was staring at a version of my self, the beast. IT let out a twisted grin, raising it’s arm, and mine rose in comparison. My eyes widened in pure horror at what it did next. IT dug it’s nails into it’s own eyes, tearing the out. I collapsed on my knees, gasping in pain. SEE NO EVIL. My nails dug into my face, and into my arms and legs. I scratched at my wrist violently, until I got to the veins inside it. A loud scream tore through my mouth as a gun and knife landed before me. IT took them both, stabbing me in chest, and shooting me in the head. I woke up, unable to breathe as I was trapped, in a mixture of the real world, and the hell of my own. The door to my room was locked thank god, but I wasn’t safe. My lungs tightened, breathing nearly impossible. The knife sawing away my tongue. SPEAK NO EVIL. My ears run loudly, mixing with my gargled screams. HEAR NO EVIL. IT yanked out my teeth violently, as blood ran from my nose. WHY CAN’T I WAKE UP?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! “DAVID!” I shoot up from my seat, looking around quickly. As I looked, I saw Clint, Joan, and Paul standing before me, we were outisde. I was on the ground. “We thought we lost you there for a moment David. Would be upsetting if we lost ya before we even got this off the ground.” Paul remarked. I looked confused, and hissed in pain holding my neck. As I felt it, I painfully felt a burn. Joan passed me a broken mirror, and I took it. My eyes looked forward, seeing the New Frontier symbol, our symbol burned into my neck. But as I stared at the reflection more, I inhaled. MY SYMBOL. The beast smirked, and handed Joan the mirror back as it stood.