#It's midnight and i need to calm down a bit yeh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wizkiddx · 3 years

Text

worst case scenario part 5

finally!! so sorry its been an age to anyone still here but lives been interesting atm so.... also this really feels a bit rambley and the ending is deff underdeveloped but I just kind of wanted this done tbh x

[previous part] [part 1]

warnings: hospitals - ICU, ventilation that sort of stuff, just a lot of ANGST post a difficult birth - please don't read if this could be upsetting for you, and my inbox is always open if u wanna chat :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a complete 360 degree flip from earlier that day, after leaving the hospital Tom had become obsessively attached to Aurora. They’d got back to his parents place in Tom’s car; Aurora in the carseat Y/n and Tom had ready in their car door for her arrival. Clearly his parents had already pre-warned his brothers, who had thankfully already gone over to Tom and Y/n’s - collecting the Moses basket amongst other items Harry had been listed off from his mother.

Apart from explaining a little behind her name to his parents on the journey back, Tom had spoken very little, choosing to keep himself to himself - physically stationing himself beside the Moses basket the whole time. Of course, there had been a bit of light conversation and almost procedural passing round of Aurora between all her uncles and grandparents, which Tom had kept a wether eye on - but ultimately not engaged.

He also knew that physically his body was failing him. Although eating a little of the lasagne Sam had made for everyone, he could only stomach a minuscule amount, which did little to boost his energy levels. It felt as though sleeping was the enemy, because he was neither ready to leap into the car if the phone went; or to hear the smallest sound from the wicker basket, suggesting something was wrong. So as much as he tried to fight it, before even nine o’clock he began to dose off on the familiar couch of his parents sitting room - occasionally jerking himself awake before loosing the fight once again.

Nikki had tried to gently push him to take a break in the spare bedroom, which had been Tom’s before he’d moved out, but was unsuccessful - every time he retaliated with a stern shake of his head, while checking his phone just in case he’d missed a notification. Eventually Nikki relented, later in the evening both her and Dom retiring to bed; once Sam had agreed to stick around downstairs till a bit later - as a chef he worked till late in the nights, so even on his days off like today, his sleep schedule was just a little fucked.

Left alone with his new little niece and now pretty firmly asleep brother, Sam draped a blanket over the latter just in time for Aurora to start fussing in the need of a bottle. His mum had explained how to do everything, how to mix the formula and heat it up, so after scooping up the little wriggling girl in the hope his brother wouldn’t get disturbed, Sam dealt with her. To be honest no matter how clueless and useless he felt, Aurora was just so cute - if a little wrinkly and alien looking, but in a good way. This was the first baby any of them had had, so the first time Sam experienced this instant connection and love for the little being that was his niece or nephew. It was terrifying, lifting the bottle against her lips for the first time, but then it just sort of seemed to work. She was incredibly smart for less than 24 hours old, instantly latching on, like she had done for Haz at the hospital.

That gave Sam a little confidence in his ability as an uncle, giving himself a satisfied nod while swaying from the kitchen to move back into the living room. It was just a preference to be within reach of Tom… just in case. His poor brother still hadn’t moved, slumped against the corner of the sofa, leaning toward the now empty Moses basket. Normally, Sam seeing his supposed heart throb of a brother looking as rough as he did now - double chin, mouth hanging slightly open, deep sunken eyes - he would’ve taken a photo to blackmail him with. Now though, it was just desperately sad, seeing his brother like this, hand still clutching his phone tightly above the blanket.

Rather hoping the calm would last for a while, Sam successfully finished off feeding Aurora; winded and then put her down to sleep again just in time. Because, perhaps expectedly, Tom’s phone began to blare off the default iPhone ringtone making Tom jump and throw the device across the room as he awoke with a start. Sam ran to grab it off the floor, mainly with the hope of turning it off before Aurora was awoken too - knowing that it was best tonight to tackle one thing at a time.

And so he immediately swiped to answer the call, not even registering who the call was from, much rather just wanting the noise to stop.

“Hello?”

“Sam? It’s Harrison” Tom had jumped up from his seat hovering beside Sam with petrified look. It took barely seconds for Tom to snatch the phone back, launching questions down the receiver.

“Slow down would you? Y/n is fine I was just phoning to check in.”

“Oh er yeh… um sorry I just… just thought…”

“It’s the other way mate. Nurse says she’s starting to get there cos first she moved her arm a bit when we pinched her shoulder and then I just called because she started to like gag and now the ventilator thing is gone.”

“W-what?”

“I think she’s breathing by herself? Like she’s got an oxygen mask instead of the tubes down her throat.” Clearly Harrison was not, by any means, a medical expert.

“They said she would have the ventilator for a few days at least.”

“I guess Y/n got bored? To be fair she couldn’t ever sit still.”

“I’m coming to you.”

“Tom it’s nearly midnight, I was supposed to be kicked out at 10. Just come back in the morning, they won’t let you in I’m pretty certain.”

“What if she wakes up!”

“Then they’ll call you! She’s getting better Tom you should be try and relax for like a second.”

“FUCK OFF HAZ! If she wakes up all alone and terrified then-“

“I’m not going to having a screaming match on the phone with you. I think we both know you wanting to come is more for you than for Y/n, because Y/n would want you to be looking after Aurora.”

Again guilt tripping using the newborn. Harsh but effective. Stopping Tom’s anger dead in it’s tracks.

“Look I can put the nurse on for her to tell you they won’t let you in and they’ll call if anything happens - but you already know that.”

“Yeh sorry fine … I know don’t bother.”

“Okay… I’m was gonna head back to my place and I know you’ve probably got your mum begging to fuss over Aurora but if-“

“Can you come?”

“Didn’t need to ask mate.”

And that’s how the night went. Until Harrison arrived at the Holland family home, Tom had spent the time pacing back and forth, blatantly ignoring the pleas of Sam just to sit down. Once he arrived though, going through all the updates in a lot more detail Tom seemed, for the first time, optimistic. By no means could you call him relaxed or happy - but compared to the rollercoaster that had been the last 24 hours, Harrison thought that was more than enough. Aurora had started fussing again at 1 but by the time it had turned into a full blown scream at Tom, Sam already had the bottle ready. It took a little bit of encouragement and promise that Tom would be able to feed her but actually, she instantly latched on, settled in her Dad’s hold while guzzling down the contents of the bottle.

After a bit of winding she ended up falling asleep on her dads chest, only when he felt himself start to flag did Tom place her back in the basket. Harrison and him ended up crashing on the sofas, Sam retiring to his own room. Phone still tightly clutched in Tom’s grip.

////////////////////

The first thing Y/n became properly aware of was this intense heaviness all over her body. It felt as though her limbs were all composed completely of lead, meaning as much as she was just craving rolling over, it was as though her own body was holding her down. A very alien feeling that unsettled her slightly, trying to shake of the misty feeling in her head to work it all out. It took a while to drag herself out of the depths of sleep, to the point where background noise slowly faded in - an alien beeping as well as distant shuffling making her heart thump with unease. Finally, perhaps most distressingly , her eyes felt glued shut. Not because they were heavy, in the way someone extremely sleep deprived cant keep their eyes open; rather stiff like they hadn’t been used in so long they’d rusted over or something.

The feeling was quite horrific and isolating- as though she were locked into her body without an escape in sight. Whilst trying to calm her racing thoughts, Y/n chose to focus completely on the one thing she could do. She could listen. She listened to the beeps, focusing on the type of sound, the way it chimed so regularly; and it’s form. It was familiar, for that she was sure but for now at least she couldn’t place it.

It felt like an investigation, trying with all her might to try and workout what the fuck was going on. To put it mildly.

The most useful clue though, a breakthrough if you will, is when a voice sounded - clear and familiar.

“Excuse me nurse?” It was Nikki. For sure. It was a clue, but didnt seem to make a hell of a lot of sense. Y/n was so focused on why the hell Nikki was apparently watching her sleep unconscious, she completely missed the reference to the nurse. As in hospital. As in Y/n was in hospital. “… I’m just going to swap out for my sons friend.”

“Harrison?” That voice seemed new and unfamiliar.

“Yes, he won’t be a second I’m sure.”

What was Harrison doing here too?

It was all very confusing and hurt Y/n’s brain to try and unpick. Gradually then, everything sort of melted away, diving back into the darkness.

The next time Y/n woke up things were different. This time she woke up like she would at any time of day. She woke up and her eyes followed suit. Not particularly easily, since as soon as they cracked open she was almost blinded by brilliant white lights, it taking a build up of willpower before she tried it again - bracing for the pain.

By now she knew something was wrong. She remembered all these patchy and hazy periods. All full of confusion and disorientation but with different voices keeping her at least semi calm. Familiar voices, all too often laced with such emotion. Especially Tom’s. She couldn’t remember what he had said, nor had she probably been able to understand it at the time - what stuck was the tone. The sadness, the hopelessness , the emptiness.

It was scary. But it made her want to help. Made her want to open her eyes.

After wincing at the dazzling white surroundings, Y/n blinked her eyes quickly, in an attempt to get them to adjust quicker. She saw an unfamiliar ceiling, one that was tiled in a similar way to her old school canteen. There was a weird pressure round her mouth, eyes quickly darting down to see edges of a clear mask pressed up against the bridge of her nose. That wasn’t it though, the further she looked the more her eyes panned down this pale blue blanket, following the outline of her legs to the bottom raised edge of the bed. The hospital bed.

Her hospital bed.

As much as she wanted to jump up in panic; physically right now that was an impossibility. So instead, Y/n focused on trying to gleam as much information from the situation. It took a hell of a lot of effort, her muscles literally stiff and ridgid with disuse but with a small groan her neck eventually agreed to follow orders. Just a small tilt to the left and suddenly Y/n felt so much more less panicked. Everything was that bit less scary because there was Tom.

Admittedly he didn’t look amazing, or even not bad. Tom was sat with his back pressed against the side of chair, so his body faced her. Had he not looked so ruined, Y/n would’ve laughed at the side of his face squashed into the back of the seat. But he did look horrific, for lack of a better word. His brown eyes were locked shut, but also looked puffy and red, while dark at the same time - as though he’d been attempting to gouge his own eyes out prior. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, hence why he had appeared to have collapsed in the arm chair. At least though , he wasn’t in a hospital bed himself.

That was Y/n’s pleasure.

Her next job was to get her neck muscles to pull her head to the other side. It was a slow wincing gesture, yet she was so aware of another presence that needed to be addressed too. But actually it was 3 people.

Right at the back, a nurse sat on a little spinny chair, scribbling something down in a file of papers but to be quite honest that wasn’t were Y/n’s focus zeroed in on. Instead on Harrison who was sat in chair mirroring Tom, except instead of being passed out asleep he was cradling a baby. Her baby.

Y/n literally felt her heart in her throat at that point, eye widening almost comically. That was her baby - it must be? The monitors all started to loose their regularity as Y/n threw an uncoordinated limb to that side of the bed- already having realised her throat was way too scratchy to try to say anything comprehensible.

Immediately that got the attention of both the nurse, who immediately leapt up and called for support, as well as Harrison - who looked like he was seeing a ghost.

“Oh my-Y/n-?” Luckily he kept the baby safe in his arms rather than dropping her in shock, whilst Y/n kept her eyes locked onto the bundle in his arms. Nodding down, she tried to remove the mask (actually just very slightly knocking it to one side) and attempted to ask of the baby. Her throat, being inhumanly dry and scratchy, didn’t really work but Haz still got the message, scoffing in amazement.

“Aurora… here’s your mummy.” Harrisons voice was quiet and wavering as he delicately held Aurora against Y/n’s collar bone, the babies little tuft of har tickingling her chin. Now Y/n was crying with happiness, looking up at Haz’s icy blue eyes and questioning her name. Harrison confirmed with another disbelieving whisper, whilst the arm that wasn’t still holding Aurora clasped Y/n’s hand with a death grip. “Tom’s choice.”

The mention of him had both of them shift their gaze across the room to Tom’s chair. Even with all the developments, Tom still seemed completely unaware, fast asleep with the side of his face squished against the back of the chair making his lips slightly askew. Y/n were acutely aware of the small congregation of doctors that had accumulated in the corner of the bay but they seemed to be respectfully waiting before they would prod and poke. Haz went to call Tom’s name, before he could though, Y/n squeezed his arm and minutely shook her head. That wasn’t what the blue eyes boy had been expecting, causing Haz to unfold and bring Aurora back up to his chest as he quirked his eyebrows at her.

She didnt need to be filled in on the situation to know exactly what was happening. She had no idea why she was in the hospital bed; how long it had been since she’d given birth - but she knew all she needed to. From Harrisons unbelievably shocked face; and from the state of Tom - it hadn’t been good. Her fiancé looked almost ghostly, it seemed evident that he needed her. First then, she gestured to Haz for some water, which after a panicked look to the nurse; then from the nurse to various doctors; she was eventually given permission.

After somewhat alleviating the sandpaper feeling in her throat, Y/n then croakily asked for a bit of privacy. Right now the doctors all were gawking, Harrison assumed it to be because they’d all led him and Tom to believe she wouldn’t wake up for a while- and even then she was supposed to barely be awake, not able to talk and drink or anything of the sort. With an ecstatic nod Harrison, shuffled out - while doing so prompting the medical people to draw the curtains completely shut round the bay.

Already Y/n had tears welling up in her eyes, purely because she hated seeing him like this. He just looked so broken and shattered which honestly felt worlds worse than the labour she’d gone through. Her whole body still hurt, stiff and achy for reasons yet to be explained to Y/n. None of that mattered though, as she strained her arm out to the side in order to gently reach his knee that was folded up and sticking out awkwardly at an angle. After swallowing one again, Y/n squeezed round the joint and tried to shake it slightly. Instantly the man jumped up in his seat, heavy eyes blinking quickly and repeatedly as he tried to adjust to the room.

Being so sleep deprived and stressed out, Tom’s brain was not working normally, instead with a delayed haze as he apparently skipped over Y/n in the bed, rather surveying the the closed curtains and Harrison’s now empty chair. As he was lifting himself to sit more normally up, uncurling from the armchair, was when he noticed the hand on his knee. Breath caught in his chest, Tom instinctively bit his lip as his eyes gradually traced up the hand, to the forearm, up to the shoulder. It felt like a fever dream, as though all it would take is for him to move and she’d slip away again. But there were her green eyes, gleaming in a way that literally lifted a weight from his shoulders. Her smile was tired and a little confused, but so her - after spending days of just seeing all her features lax, Tom swore that it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Only when Y/n finally croaked out a small ‘hi’ did Tom gain awareness of his body, or rather control of it, enough to leap up and leave over the bed - cradling her face in both his palms. Like a psycho he stared intently, swapping his focus from her left to her right eye like a madman.

“Your-I-I” He was trying to speak, trying to communicate all the thoughts and regrets of things he wished he’d said to her all at once. Weakly she reached up to fully remove the oxygen mask, dragging It down to below her chin, before squeezing his wrists in comfort. Only then did Tom notice the small puddle that had collected on her cheek, which made him realise he was absolutely bawling.

“You ‘kay?” Her voice was like sandpaper but everything about her was so completely Y/n and it was just giving Tom this unreal wave of euphoria. Physically incapable of replying, the brunette just scoffed, leaning over the bed even more so he could press his forehead on hers. He was laughing too, the fact she was asking him that seemed so preposterous, given all the tubes and wires attached to her at the moment. It took Y/n squeezing his wrist harder again to make him lean back a little, searching her eyes with his. She seemed so worried; seemed so full of concern - only then did Tom consider quite how much he’d ‘let himself go’ the past couple of days.

It had been two days since Aurora was born, only 48 hours. But the transformation was mad, none more so than mentally. 48 hours had quite literally changed everything for Tom; changed life forever and himself too. It was showing in his unshaven face, with unwashed greasy hair, everything just looking ‘tired’.

“‘m just really glad your awake.” It was so honest and sincere it did have Y/n wondering what had happened and for how long. What had she put her fiancé through?

“How long?”

“The worst two and a half days of my life… I got you now though, yeh?” Tom whispered wetly, while stroking the side of her cheek - wiping both his and her tears away.

“Always.”

The doctors and nurses then came in, podding and poking Y/n like no tomorrow while Harrison and Tom stood back a little - excitedly grinning at each other and the sleepy girl Haz was cradling, before Tom stole her off him. There was a momentary sick-to-his-stomach feeling after some of the professionals had cleared, seeing her eyes shut again felt like everything was crashing around him. Thankfully though, one of doctors noticed the look of despair on his face, explaining to the two men that she was just asleep normally. That although sh’ed spent along time unconscious, waking from a medical coma is in itself exhausting.

After the initial excitement of Y/n waking the next couple of days were pretty samey. She’d been moved down to a normal ward, no longer needed all the incessant bleeping machines but still had to stay in hospital. Tom found it tricky too, he just always felt he needed to be by her side ‘just in case’. In fact, it had been a source of a bit of tension between him and his fiancé - she could see how exhausted he was from looking after Aurora, plus the stress of being in the hospital for hours a day with her. As Y/n got better and more switched on to the state of him, she realised it was inevitable he’d crash at some point.

But after a week and a half in hospital - comprising of a baby, emergency surgery, 3 days on intensive care, followed by 8 on the ward - Y/n was discharged. Nikki and Dom moved in to Y/n and Tom’s place, to provide care support both for Aurora; and Y/n for the rest of her recovery; and secretly Tom for everything he’d been through.

She was still order on bed rest due to her surgical scars, so Tom and Nikki helped to set her up in the master bedroom as soon as they got in. Of course, everyone was aware of Toms odd mood that day. Until then the only thing he wanted was to get his fiancé back at home with him but now she was over the threshold his excitement and joy appeared to have been zapped out of him. In fact, he’d barely uttered more than a couple sentences. So once Y/n was properly comfortable and Dom had brought Aurora and the cot into the room, Tom’s parents quickly made themselves scarce.

Tom hadn’t stopped, finding some reason to rummage around in the chest of drawers m while Y/n chewed at her bottom lip, watching him.

“Tom?” All she got in response was a light hum. “Tom please will you come and sit down for a minute?”

“I just need to-“

“Tom!” Her exclamation finally properly got Tom to listen, jumping round to face her. “Please... please will you just stop for a second?” Y/n’s eyes felt as though they were boring holes in his skull. Really, Tom knew he’d be forced into this at some point because he couldn’t avoid Y/n. She had some power of mind reading over him. So with a defeated nod and sagging shoulders Tom rounded the bed, weaving between his side and Auroras cot - where she was sleeping soundly.

A silence overcame the room as he heavily planted himself on his side of the bed, mirroring Y/n’s posture leant against the headboard.

“I think we need to have an honest conversation T.”

“If you want.” Nothing about his reply was the picture of enthusiasm, causing Y/n to hesitate a little.

“Look I am so beyond grateful for everything you’ve done while I was in hospital... and it doesn’t take a genius to tell you’ve worked yourself half to death-“

“I’m fine-“

“Don’t lie to me. I know you’re trying to protect me but please... will you just talk to me? Honestly?”

His reply this time wasn’t completely unforeseeable but it still shocked Y/n quite how quickly it happened, especially almost unprovoked. Because that’s all it took for Tom to break, for the past 2 weeks to get their vengance, for all the repressed emotion to escape.

He was crying- well more accurately sobbing- into his hands, his back quaking. Naturally Y/n reached out to pull him into her side, suppressing the groan of pain as she moved a little too much for her abdomen to handle. “I’m here T. I got you and I’m not going anywhere m‘kay?”

And that’s how they stayed, for at least 10 minutes, with Tom crying into her shoulder as Y/n rubbed up and down his back. Eventually though, everything did calm down and Tom repositioned himself to lean his head on her shoulder just facing forward and focusing on playing with her fingers, lacing them fingers with his.

In all the time since she’d woken up, Y/n was yet to broach the subject of their babies name yet. She sensed it was a sensitive topic to say the least, so had thought it best to wait till they were properly alone - not in a ward of 6 strangers where the only privacy came in flimsy blue curtains.

“So…. Aurora huh? Thought it was too airy-fairy, head-in-the-clouds for you?” Smiling lightly, both of them were transported back to the pregnancy when they spent hours and hours bickering over names. Aurora had always been Y/n’s favourite but to Tom thought it was more a name for a hippy kid who went around clad in tie dye and bandanas.

“Still is a bit...but I needed a bit of a miracle and Iceland was in my head. Plus I sort of accidentally word vomited while shouting at Haz, for being nice to me.” Iceland as in when Tom had proposed under the aurora borealis in the freezing sky - when Y/n had agreed, promised even, to be with him forever.

“But you like it?”

“Of course... mother always knows best after all.”

“I think it suits her too. One of your best choices to date, listening to me.” Y/n mused, earning herself a very delicate but still playful elbow in the side before the room drifted back to a much more comfortable silence.

“We’re gonna get through this you know? Me, you and her, we’re together in this... I’m sorry I wasn’t in the beginning and I’m sorry I hurt you but now? I promise you got me and I’m not going anywhere…” Y/n needed to say it and needed Tom to properly listen. “ ...literally, I still cant walk properly.” Tom chuckled wetly at that, which made Y/n feel a lot better too.

To be completely honest, Tom was still hurt and he knew it’d take some mending to move past everything. By no means did he blame Y/n in anyway but just the fact he was left alone and abandoned - well, it was the worst time in his life. The way Y/n understood that and had apologised to him - if completely unnecessarily- meant everything. Meant she would help him to heal... whilst he helped her too.

“Can we just go to sleep? I need to wake up beside you in our bed not at tiny hospital one.” It was only 3 in the afternoon but because of Y/n’s medicine she was constantly drowsy and Tom? Tom was still in this permanent state of exhaustion. So it wasn’t so much of a weird request as it was on the face of it. With a nod, Y/n shuffled down on the bed a bit more resting her head against the top of Tom’s. It was exactly what they both needed, just a bit of peace with each other.

That lasted all of 5 minutes before Aurora woke and started to scream.

Life had most definitely changed. Especially for Tom. Because even though he was he was mentally and physically exhausted, he only appreciated his daughters screams whole heartedly... because Y/n was there groaning with a tired smile too. They were in this together.

~~~~

I really hope the ending didnt disappoint too much, im aware its rushed as hell, but thank you for getting this far! And I hope maybe this series has done a teeny tiny bit to normalise not everything in pregnancy and child birth being perfect - that there is morbidity and mortality associated. Obviously this is all fictional (esp the amazingly quick recovery and lack of neurological/other impairments) and not medically accurate in the slightest !!

my inbox is always open :) t x

Tagging : @whitewolf51

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #dad!tom #Tom Holland angst

146 notes · View notes

syms-things-5 · 3 years

Text

Clear The Area - Chapter Seventeen

Previous Chapter Here

Warnings: Strong language and an air of discomfort.

Notes: I hope this reads OK as it’s quite dialogue-heavy.

Tags: @kelbabyblue @jennmurawski13

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The night shifts weren’t all bad. From time to time, they were even as good as “pretty straight forward”. They proved especially useful when trying to finish patient notes and random admin that always got left to the very end of the shift. Perhaps they’d endure a tidy-out of the stock cupboards if the crew was feeling generous. Since O’Brien had taken up his post at the hospital years earlier, he had insisted upon mandatory training updates for the ER units every three to four months (the national average was about once a year) so the team were regularly reminded not to set fire to their computers and not to leave boxes in places people could trip over. You’d be surprised how often both those things happened in an emerging crisis.

“I swear he thinks we’re idiots half the time.” Complained Jack, his head now glued to the palm of his hand. Jack was hurtling towards an early retirement thanks to an ever-increasing distrust of the corporate environment ER departments found themselves in. We trained to save lives, he’d say, not file stat reports. He was so right, it hurt.

The crew was sat round the reception desk. The ER was empty except for a local homeless man the team allowed in from time to time to sleep off his latest drunken adventures.

“Who doesn’t know how to bend their knees when lifting something heavy?” Jack asked again.

“Ryan for one.” Sarah joked, pointing her cold cup of tea towards the fellow nurse in question. Ryan was a tall and skinny guy, not dissimilar to Alexander Skarsgard in the right light but with less charm although he had left a few of the interns swooning of late. Shanna quite liked him, too.

“One time, Sarah. One time and I suffered for it greatly.” Ryan remarked, spinning a full 360 in his swivel chair. “Did you tick ‘agree’ or ‘strongly agree’ for question eleven?”

“Oh, if you don’t tick ‘strongly agree’ even if you only ‘agree’, they mark you down a couple of percentage points.” Entered Audrey, slamming down a pile of files on the desk beside Sarah. Their nightly routine just got more interesting. “Just get it over with. It’s not worth the effort. It’s just O’Brien being obsessed with stats again. He turns everything into a competition. I swear it’s unhealthy.”

Ryan looked momentarily confused before returning to face his computer screen. He re-read the question for the fifth time and rubbed his eyes in resignation. Something about 3am made this far too complicated.

“When did you even find time to do this, Aud?” Jack asked, turning back to Sarah and Audrey in time to witness their shared look self-satisfaction. “I’ve been sat here for half an hour and am still only part way through the first section.”

“I logged in at home earlier.” she responded before catching Sarah’s quizzical look. “Well, Michael did most of it for me.”

“Fucking hell!” exclaimed Jack, chucking his pen on the table, giving up. “Got no chance then, have I? Michael’s a bloody genius. Hey, how much for him to do mine?”

“Normally I’d say $100 but he’s pretty cheap these days.” shrugged Audrey. “Probably a fancy cigar would do.”

“He still grumpy about the you-know-what?” whispered Sarah to her friend when the guys started joshing between themselves.

Audrey leaned back on the desk beside her and took the mug from Sarah’s hands to take a sip, grimacing slightly at the sweetness. For some reason, Sarah had to have at least three sugars in her tea if she was drinking it post-midnight. It helped to keep her more alert apparently. She didn’t drink it like that at any other time of the day. “No more than usual. Seems like we’re both unlucky in that department at the moment.”

Sarah smiled at her in acknowledgement, lips thin before biting the inside of her cheek.

Following their last meet-up, Chris had been decidedly quiet. Too quiet almost. It was weird. He hadn’t messaged her. He hadn’t called or visited their apartment except to collect a parcel he had left. Sarah has been out for a run at the time and had felt silently glad to have missed him. He hadn’t updated his twitter and there had been multiple sports events occurring that would have guaranteed a humblebrag or five. Shanna had pledged to buy rib-eye steaks for a Saturday night meal during a Celtics game and he had cancelled at the last minute citing an interview he had conveniently forgotten. Even Audrey thought it was weird. If anything was guaranteed to get his attention and bring him out of whatever funk he was in, it was the promise of sports and a ‘Grade A’ barbeque.

Shanna merely put it down to his laziness or him having something better turn up. Scott had started replacing Chris around their apartment, wanting to get some of his own distance from the tricky Zach situation and it helped her feel better knowing he was at least in touch with him if Shanna wasn’t. He was evidently still alive.

Sarah decided to swap a couple of daytime stints to partner up with Audrey for the nights. She needed the comfort of working with a good friend to calm her down from whatever ledge her anxiety had placed her on.

“You know that he’ll come back, right?” Audrey interrupted her thoughts. Maybe Sarah spoke too soon. “Haven’t you got that birthday thing for Lisa coming up?”

That trip was a couple of weeks away yet. She was trying to bank some reasonable excuses but everything sounded lame in the cold light of day and Lisa was never going to accept her not coming as well. Surely things would have smoothed themselves out by then?

“This won’t just fix itself, hun, you’ll need to speak to him eventually. And the sooner the better.”

It was like Audrey had a hotline straight into Sarah’s psyche. It was unnerving at the best of times. Sarah knew she was right of course. It’s just, a little bit of distance would be a good thing, right? Even Chris himself had offered that advice from time to time, and stressing herself out at this point almost seemed counterintuitive.

“I reckon you could go in an hour or so if you wanted.” Audrey offered, nudging her friend with her elbow to bring her back into the room. “It’s dead out there.”

“I hope not.” Sarah joked, trying to lighten the mood. “We’d be shit at our jobs if that was the case.”

Audrey laughed for the first time since Sarah could remember that day. It was moments like this that reminded her of why she enjoyed working alongside her so much, and why she didn’t mind if it resulted in overtime.

“You wanna take patient referrals while I take the EPRs?”

“How can I refuse an offer like that?” Sarah picked up the dozen or so documents sat in front of her and grabbed the nearest chair. Audrey told her she’d put the kettle on and nudged the guys still glued to their screens. Ryan had pretty much given up logical thinking and was now ticking random boxes. Jack was cursing under his breath. O’Brien was going to be in for a real treat when he could finally tabulate the responses.

It was nearing 6.20am when Sarah and Audrey finally packed up to go. Matt and Stephanie had just arrived to take over for the morning, bringing a fresh perspective for the day. There wasn’t much for them to catch up on so it should be a smooth few hours at least. Sarah even ran a mop through the staff locker room as an added gift – Steph was a notorious clean freak – nearly tripping Greg up in the process.

He’d been on leave for the past fortnight and his hair was a little longer than she remembered. A five o’clock shadow graced the lower part of his face and it suited him more than she thought it would. He had kept up with the informal tie-less attire and he seemed to be, dare she it, enjoying himself.

“God, I’m so sorry.” She held her hands up in a mock mea culpa. “I was just gonna put it away before heading out. It was a stupid place to leave it.”

“Did you not take the Health and Safety refresher?” he joked, rebalancing himself and trying to play down the redness creeping into his cheeks from the embarrassment of temporarily losing his footing in front of her.

“You gonna rat me out to O’Brien? ‘Cos you know as well as I do that he doesn’t need yet another reason to know he’s right.” She shifted the mop and bucket and placed them back in the supply closet before reaching for her bag again.

“Nah, don’t worry about it.” He moved passed her before turning to face her again. “Tell you the truth, I ghosted the last couple of tabs myself. Who knew there were so many ways to ask questions about standing in elevators?”

Sarah rolled her eyes in acknowledgement. “Yeh. I can’t wait to have the team meeting when he realises we’ve all pretty much done the same thing. That’s gonna be fun. I might finally take some of my holiday.”

“Yeh, good plan. Hey listen,” His words stopped her in her tracks, feet from the exit. “Um, I know it’s been a while but I was wondering if you might want to reschedule that tennis match some time? Or if not, we could get some dinner or something? There’s that new sushi place on Reagan Street. It’s meant to be really good if you fancy it?”

She was indeed familiar with that very restaurant thanks to the glowing reviews she had been unable to avoid since it opened. Audrey had only mentioned it a mere thousand times in her presence. Word was that bookings were now months in advance so she wasn’t sure how Greg was hoping to find a table unless he wanted to make plans with her in November. Given the number of commitments he always appeared to have going on, it wouldn’t be completely outside the realm of possibility.

“Wow, I thought that place was fully booked?”

“Yeh, it is, but I went to college with one of the investors and he’s promised me a one-off.”

Of course he did. Sarah bit her bottom lip to stop herself from chuckling out loud, imagining Audrey’s face when she would inevitably find out. To be honest, she was genuinely surprised he was still showing a minor interest in her. When she finally made eye contact with him, his earnestness was practically shining. Had he always had perfect skin?

“Um…” That was a good start, she thought.

“Honestly, it’s not a big deal if you’d rather not.” He helpfully pre-empted her awkward rejection but she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. “I’ve been meaning to go is all and I knew you liked sushi and figured it might be fun? They have live Jazz on Sunday nights.”

When did he find out she liked sushi? And live Jazz? Just how much had Audrey told him about her?

Realising she probably looked perplexed, she shuffled her shoulder strap back up onto her shoulder and tried to relax the awkwardness setting in between them. It was still quiet and no one was within earshot that she could figure out of her peripheral vision.

“It’s not you, Greg, I promise. It’s just, I’m not really looking to get into anything right now. With anyone. Plus, we work together and…I’m sorry. I hope that’s OK?”

“Hey, look, I promise it won’t be awkward. There’s absolutely no expectations from me and if you change your mind, just let me know, yeh? I literally know no one else who likes Sashimi so I can’t waste my only chance to get a table.” He chuckled and she felt more at ease.

“If it’s any consolation, I’m a pretty crap date.” She smiled at him as she edged herself down the hall, putting space between them both literally and figuratively. “You wouldn’t be missing out.”

“Oh, I doubt that somehow.” He returned her smile. “I’m serious, though. Just let me know. Anytime. No expiration date.”

And with that, she had been left dumbfounded by two men in the space of a single week.

It would have been easier to get the early morning bus home at this time, as tired as she was starting to feel. She hadn’t slept well in the last few days and she had a creeping nausea from the lack of proper rest. The walk and crisp, fresh air might do her some good. It was practically full daylight even at this hour, and it was sometimes fun to watch people on their own way to work, huffing along, trying not to drop their coffees.

The out-of-town school bus passed her a few minutes out from her apartment and as she rounded the corner, she got this weird sense that someone was watching her. Another corner turned and she could see her building in the near distance. Still, she couldn’t shake it. She stopped, pretending to fumble for her phone in her pocket and turned around swiftly to see a sweaty Chris stop a few steps behind her.

It took her a moment to register it was in fact him, his beard fuller and a Red Sox cap pulled down low over his eyes. He had sweats and sneakers on and looked like he was on a run. Honestly, if someone else had spotted him from this distance, they would have worried he was going to attack her.

“Hey,” she said, turning to fully face him. “What are you doing out at this time?”

He didn’t respond at first. He shuffled from one foot to the other before grounding himself and taking a couple of steps towards her. Again, he shuffled back a step like he was rethinking his move. She didn’t appreciate seeing him like this, so unsure of himself.

“Five months out from filming some pre-shoots so figured I’d make a start.” He finally spoke. Not a really a smile but he at least sounded OK.

“Cool.” She said, nodding back at him. “Um, I’m not sure if Shanna is awake yet but do you want to come inside for some water or coffee?”

“Yeh, that’d be great. Thanks.”

She turned to continue walking on. For a few long moments, he stayed walking slightly behind her. A couple more strides and he had decided to catch up. The last time it had taken this long to walk this same street, she had been so drunk she had narrowly avoided falling into her neighbour’s front garden.

“Five months? You’re not that out of shape.” She tried to make a joke. It was the only thing she could think of. Audrey would be eye-rolling like a champ if she could see them now.

Chris knew she was trying to make small talk now so he decided to indulge her. It was a fair response, he thought - he was doing OK - as he followed her up the stairs deliberately keeping two or three behind her in an effort to keep it casual.

“Oh, y’know. I fluctuate pretty easily. A few pizzas here and there and it’s game over.”

They walked into her kitchen and she had been right in assuming Shanna was still asleep. Unless she had awoken really early but that was highly unlikely, unless there was a sale at Ted Baker she didn’t know about.

He lingered in the doorway while she searched the fridge for a bottle of water. Grabbing one from the back, she turned to hand it to him expecting him to be within an arm’s reach from her but he had been distracted by something down the hall before turning back to her. Gratefully, he accepted it and walked into the kitchen to take up his usual spot leaning against the counter.

“Sorry, did you say you wanted a coffee?” She offered.

“Nah, I’m good. Can’t really take caffeine until this afternoon.”

“Sorry. I always forget how strict it is.” She apologised, offering him a sympathetic smile.

He took a long swig from the bottle, not breaking eye contact from her. “No need to apologise. You OK? Night shift?”

“Yeh. Pretty quiet, thankfully.”

“I’ve always meant to ask but what is it like, a night shift? I can’t work out if it would be worse or not.”

She understood what he meant and laughed. “It can go either way to be honest but it’s been quiet the last few nights. Nothing crazy. I caught up with some paperwork, so…” She shrugged again, acutely aware of how boring she must sound.

He nodded at her. “Aren’t people supposed to be crazier in the summertime?”

“Well, kids are around more and families tend to spend more time together, so…”

The apartment was unnervingly quiet now which was weird. She could hear the uptake in traffic outside which provided some relief that perhaps he couldn’t hear her heart beating out of her chest. She could make out some small sweat patches on his hoodie and it did something to her that she wasn’t expecting. Shaking the thought from her head, she turned to switch the kettle off.

“What?” He asked.

She jerked her head back around to face him. “Huh?”

“You were thinking of something. Your neck just went red.” He smiled, tilting his head at her and relishing the look of surprise making its way over her features, knowing he’d caught her out.

That was news to her. She knew she had “tells” but a red neck was not usually one of them. How come no one had ever told her about this?

“I can’t tell if you’re joking with me or not.” She inquired, playfully narrowing her eyes at him in an effort to lighten the mood.

He shrugged a shoulder at her, a smirk starting to cross his fine features. Joshing with her was good. She’d take that. A small step in the right direction.

“Sometimes, it’s really obvious. You get it when you’re embarrassed about something, or when you try to lie. I’d never really noticed it before, but...” He paused. His expression started to turn more thoughtful and she wished he’d just continue to make fun of her instead.

“Guess I won’t be playing poker anytime soon.” She finished the thought for him.

“Yeh, no, you’d be rubbish at that. Just terrible.” He took another swig from his bottle and waited for her to throw something at him.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

The room went quiet again. She stirred her mug of coffee and offered him another chance at one which he politely refused although his discipline was waning slightly now he could smell it.

“So this is fine.” He said after a couple of minutes, nodding in a slightly exaggerated manner. He looked out of the kitchen window. “We can do this, right? No awkwardness. No embarrassment. Just normal, everyday conversation.”

“’Course,” she nodded in agreement.

“Start as we mean to go on, right?”

She nodded again. This felt like a trap and she couldn’t put her finger on why. Chris had a knack for saying and doing two different things at the same time, an intimidating ability that often put people on edge if he thought it would serve his purpose, whatever that may be. Probably the actor in him. When you called him out, he would aggressively defend himself which only served to prove the point you were making in the first place.

Scott was the only one, truly, who knew when it was happening. It had taken Sarah years to get to a similar position but now, she wasn’t sure she was remotely close to it.

“It’s as good a starting point as any, I guess.” She shrugged again, sipping from her cup.

“So there’s no need to ignore me then.”

“I haven’t been ignoring you, have I?”

“You tell me. I’m just pre-empting it is all. I’m just saying we can still interact, you and me, if we need to. Like, it doesn’t always have to be in social settings with other people around.” He took a final drink from his bottle and turned to locate the recycling pot stashed away in the corner. Even with a mundane task, he always looked cool doing it.

“So don’t worry about it.”

“Alright then. That’s good to know.” She shot him a raised eyebrow which he caught and returned with a sly smirk. “I’m just trying to be sensible. We have to get this right or else there’s no point.”

“I know, I get that, too.” If he wasn’t attempting to be serious before, he was now. He had a hand on his hip and seemed to have grown a few inches in height. “What do you think I’m trying to say?”

“I…think I’m on the backfoot again and it’s weird.” She held a hand up in defence.

“Hey, I’m just doing what we agreed, OK? I’m just following your rules.”

“They’re not rules.” She struggled to regulate the volume in her voice in case she disturbed Shanna. “And you’re making it sound like I’m controlling the situation when I’m not. We both agreed on this. There’s no point being difficult about it.”

Was he being difficult? Yes. Obviously, he was. He wasn’t happy. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling but happy definitely wasn’t it. Things were out of sorts and he hadn’t been able to eat carbs or sugar for four days so the withdrawal symptoms certainly weren’t helping. He should go easier on her. She was doing the thinking for the both of them. He should learn to be more grateful for that.

He scratched the back of his head and let out an audible sigh in frustration. “I’ll try harder, I promise. We’ve got that cabin thing coming up with Mom, so…I promise I’ll be good.”

He imitated the scout salute and she smiled at him, a smile not quite reaching her eyes.

Another night shift and Audrey and was starting to get suspicious. No one willingly switched for a night shift. For one thing, there was a disproportionate amount of recovery time. A couple of night shifts often took in excess of a week to recover from; a week that a nurse definitely did not have to spare.

“He been buggin’ you?” she asked, finally growing tired of the silence.

“Who?” Sarah looked up from the cabinet. “No, not really. We haven’t really spoken.”

“So why are you ignoring him?”

“I’m not ignoring him! Why does everyone think that?”

“Who’s everyone?”

Crap. Audrey had her there. Sarah open and closed her mouth without a sound coming out. She took a breath. “He’s not bugging me. He’s not. I’m just trying to limit the times we’re in the same place at the same time.”

“Huh, you’d think he would at least allow you to have peace in your own home.”

“Well, to be fair, he hasn’t been around all that much, but…at least I don’t have to worry about him showing up unannounced. It’s stupid but I feel way more awkward about him than I thought I would. It’s like I can’t even stand to be under his gaze.”

Audrey glanced at her friend, wishing she could offer some words of comfort. Even for someone as verbose as she normally was, she was finding it a struggle. Sarah wasn’t much looking for words of comfort at the given time either. She was all too aware of the predicament she was in and how much responsibility laid at her feet. In her mind, waiting it out was the only logical solution she could come up with. The only logical solution that didn’t require more conversations with someone who could feasibly run rings around her “theory” that if they just stayed apart for a little while, they would suddenly and magically forget about the past couple of months.

They stayed filing documents in silence again, the air seemingly getting thicker.

“You ever spoken with someone and it’s like they’re thinking the complete opposite of what’s coming out of their mouth?” Sarah huffed while shoving the cabinet drawer closed.

“Not really. That person’s usually me.”

“But why?” she asked. “Why can’t you just be normal?”

“I mean, it’s not my go-to response of course. It’s normally reserved for occasions when I am trying to indulge someone because I know they’re talking bullshit. Like, when I know Mike has been gambling but he tries to deny it? It’s just easier to figure him out that way.”

Sarah froze to the spot, looking at her friend. She breathed a heavy sigh and turned to lean back on the table behind her and crossed her arms. She stared at her shoes for a second.

“Chris is a smart guy. I’ll give him that.” Audrey muttered loudly so she was sure Sarah could hear.

“Give me something! I’m your friend here.” She implored her before chuckling to herself at Audrey’s face and her own apparent lack of self-awareness.

“You know what I think? You’ve probably got withdrawal symptoms from the all the amazing sex you’ve had and now you’re sulking. I think you should get back on that horse and let him fuck you again. That’s what this is.”

Sarah eyed her friend again. For once, she would love to hear someone tell her that she was right. “That’s really not helping, y’know.”

“And this is?!” Audrey’s shriller tone cut through the dry air, smacking Sarah right in the face. “Honey, this isn’t healthy. You hiding out in the hospital and treating it like your own solace is not healthy at all. I love you but you are your own worst enemy.”

“Alright, thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for your unswerving efforts to be honest with me at all times and not, like a normal pal, be comforting in any way.” Sarah comically bowed to her friend before considering leaving the office. She would have followed through with the idea as well if it wasn’t for the cosy warmth of O’Brien’s office versus the coldness of the ER department thanks to a leaking pipe. “It’s difficult. I’m sorry. I don’t wanna fall out with you, Audrey.”

Audrey just smiled at her. “I don’t know why you think you have to be the beacon of morality all the time, Sarah. Take a look around. No one else is. We all out here just trying to live our lives as best we can and a part of that is taking advantage of moments of happiness when we find them.”

Something about what Audrey was saying did resonate with her but comparing two months of happiness with Chris to ten years with Shanna was not something she could in good conscience do. Shanna was her security blanket. She provided a comfort of living with someone with shared life experience, of knowing how little you thought about yourself because you were given up as a baby. Honestly, from the very first day they had met, Sarah felt lucky to know her.

Yes, Shanna could be immature at times. Maybe a little selfish. She would often get carried away with trivial things and wasn’t the most reliable person, but what Sarah got in return was worth that and more. Her family enjoyed highlighting the maternal care Sarah would have to provide to someone who was seven months older than she was, but honestly it didn’t matter.

Maybe this was one of the rare occasions where Audrey was wrong.

Chris was a fling at best, Sarah told herself, when she was lying in bed struggling to fall asleep. When she was cold and missing his arms around her. They were both having shitty times and they both got something out of it. That was what Chris had said himself at the very beginning.

Chris 08.15am: You home? Shanna said you were working late again

It was like he knew she would be thinking about him.

Chris 08.17am: I really dont want u ignoring me all the time. This is hard for me right now as well

Fuck.

Sarah 08.21am: I kno. I’m so sorry I made you feel like that :(

He didn’t respond. She thought she saw the tell-tale three dots of him writing something but nothing appeared. Giving up on sleep, she got up and headed into the kitchen. Shanna had left her some bacon in the fridge and a fresh bread bun on the side so she turned on the grill and set about making some coffee.

She felt strangely awake for this time and the apartment was nice and warm from the bright sunshine streaming in from all corners. Maybe a run would help. Or a cold shower.

Chris 08.44am: I wanna be honest with u but I dont think u want that

Chris 08.45am: so what do i do??

Fuck knows.

Chris 08.51am: Can I come over?

Sarah 08.54am: that’s not a good idea

Chris 08.55am: cos you know what will happen?

Chris 08.56am: what does that tell you??

She was sure he was nursing some kind of hangover or, quite possibly, he was still a little bit drunk. There were two responses she could give, she figured. The first would be her usual denial and perhaps an excuse that she was busy or working later than planned. The second, and ultimately the one she opted for, was to agree with him.

Sarah 09.05am: I know what it tells me. That’s why I’m saying you shouldn’t come over

Another three dots followed. There was only so many times they could go around and around in circles and as much as Audrey’s words made sense to her, it felt like she had to make the effort to regain some normality.

He didn’t respond. She stared at her phone for an age but nothing came through. Maybe he got the message? Maybe he had fallen asleep. She was both relieved and suspicious; Chris wasn’t someone who backed down from an argument when he thought he was right. He had said as much himself.

She turned the grill off, having lost her appetite. A run might make more sense and could help clear her head.

She couldn’t sit around waiting for Chris to make his next move.

#Chris evans #chris evans fic #evans fic #fanfiction #clear the area #sarah bernette #chris evans x original female character

23 notes · View notes

inkribbon796 · 3 years

Text

Flight of the Bomble Bee Ch. 1: Troubleshooting

Summary: Logan and Ethan take their new apprentices out to test equipment, and fail to not get themselves in trouble.

Chapters: 1, 2

In retrospect, Logan knew that taking Tubbo as an apprentice wasn’t the wisest decision. Not only was he a former young criminal, but he was completely unpredictable.

Tubbo had taken some thought on his superhero name: Bumble Bee. He enjoyed tinkering and threatening to test explosives in random parts of the city or the superhero base.

He reminded Logan a bit too much of the Duke on some days, but there were other days when Logan got to bask in the company of another scientist. Days when Tubbo would sit in Bing’s workshop with Logan and the other androids and he would tinker or build things. Tommy would come in and out to pester Tubbo and the young man would brush him off in the pursuit of trying to finish whatever he was building.

After a week or two of tinkering, Logan was rewarded for his patience with Tubbo by being the first to see Tubbo’s finished products.

Tommy was the second because Tubbo had spent his time building himself and Tommy streamlined superhero suits. Tommy’s was outfitted with speakers so he could play music if he wanted or shoot out concussive blasts of air. Tubbo’s fit a brown and black theme with all kinds of pockets and patches for him to hide all types of weapons and explosives. Then he started working on a third one that was a midnight black color that Logan initially — incorrectly — assumed was going to be Ghostbur’s outfit.

Tommy and Tubbo went out on a patrol with Ethan and the Core Sides. Ranboo had come to join their group because Tubbo was there, and what the heroes didn’t know is that the three teens were a bit of a package deal. Ranboo had wanted to check on Tubbo for a myriad of reasons, at first from a distance, and then he disappeared and reappeared a bit less human, and started walking with the group and just watching Tubbo and Tommy arguing.

Thomas came with in a new prototype suit that Logan had built for him, he was hesitant, but excited for a calmer mission. The new hero was more than a little excited for superhero missions, and had chosen the name: Iridescence. His outfit having a rainbow theme to it. Mostly to troubleshoot Tubbo’s new suits in the field. Even though Tubbo was spending half the time hijacking Tommy’s speakers so he could play his own playlists.

“Fook[1] you, man,” Tommy shoved Tubbo away from him as “Killer Queen” was playing on full blast from Tommy’s new speakers. “Play it from yer[2] own damn shit.”

“Nah, I didn’t wanna[3] bog down my own equipment with a speaker system, that’s what I got you fer[4],” Tubbo smiled, headbutting Tommy’s arm and side affectionately.

“Oh, fook[1] off,” Tommy rolled his eyes and stomped off to stand next to Ethan.

“What now?” Tommy smiled at Ethan.

“We got permission to test your suits in King’s park,” Ethan answered.

“What, like city hall had ta[5] give the okay fer[4] this?” Tubbo asked, sounding a bit confused. He walked a bit faster to catch up with Tommy.

“No, from King,” Ethan corrected. “Didn’t used to need one, but even since Phantom showed up, King said he needed to send a good message. So it’s mostly a formality.”

“King’s one ‘a[6] the Entity’s kids, isn’t he?” Tubbo asked, looking back at Logan.

“Yes,” Logan answered. “Although he has been very diligent about working with us for many years now. His loyalty is not to be called into question.”

“Nah, I wasn’t gonna[7], family don’t mean shit, I get that,” Tubbo defended.

Logan mentally paused, there was a lot of charged emotion to metaphorically unpack in that statement. A lot of history that Logan didn’t think he’d even fully be trusted with.

“Oh no, Dark and King are close, but King’s on our side,” Patton tried to explain with a huge smile.

Logan quickly diverted the conversation to talking about the details of the sparring match. Which Virgil lost interest in, but he was noticing that Ranboo’s nervousness and apprehension wasn’t calming down. He was glancing at Tubbo and only seemed to be getting more highly strung. So Virgil tried to calm him down, even though he was awful at small talk.

“So, does everyone in the SMP take a class on shapeshifting?” Virgil asked Ranboo.

“Kinda,”[8] Ranboo admitted. “I was never really good at it, though.”

“You look fine to me,” Virgil told him.

“Thanks, but I can’t change my mouth, or my colors,” Ranboo confessed, pointing to his face mask. “I don’t know why there’s only so much my magic can do.”

“I’ll keep my eye on him, don’t worry,” Roman smiled, answering some comment that Logan and Tubbo had made about Ranboo. The two groups broke apart and quickly Roman cast an illusion so that Virgil, Thomas, and Roman could switch to their civilian outfits in secret with magic. They would have used more caution but Ranboo had already met them in both civilian and superhero outfits, so there was little point.

As they walked back to the other heroes, and loitered outside the park, watching Logan and Patton start the sparring match. Tommy quickly got a bit too rough and excited in the fight.

“Wanna[3] escape the madness?” Virgil offered Ranboo, leaning over.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Ranboo agreed uneasily.

“Good,” Roman smiled. “Virge, find Thomas a nice spot in the park. We’ll be along shortly.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, “I’ll find a nice haunted spot next to the sewers.”

“No! Desist!” Roman ordered as Virgil chuckled before pushing Thomas into the park. Thomas looked confused.

Virgil cackled a little but as Roman was following them, he realized that Ranboo wasn’t taking a step into the park. He was glancing around and the young demon looked like someone was going to spring out of a bush and attack him.

“You alright?” Roman asked.

“Dark attacked me when I first walked into Egoton,” Ranboo explained. “I was trying to get groceries and I didn’t know where the boundaries were. I . . .”

Roman stared at Ranboo for a bit before calling out, “King!”

Almost immediately the animal magnet dropped out of a nearby tree, his squirrels scurrying around him. Ranboo stared at King in alarm and took a step back.

“King, meet Ranboo, his significant other works with us and he would like to enter your park,” Roman smiled.

“The SMP can go fuck themselves, but I’ll make an exception for him because he looks very polite,” King told Roman, pointing at Ranboo.

“Uhh, thanks,” Ranboo told him, and cautiously took a step into the park, and when he didn’t get yelled at or attacked, he took another.

“I can see why Dark targeted you,” King hummed. “You just radiate a certain energy.”

“What energy’s that?” Ranboo walked over to Roman and King.

“The kind that gets you killed or surprise adopted depending on his mood,” King warned. “So tell your parents to keep an eye on you.”

“I don’t have parents, or at least I don’t remember them,” Ranboo confessed.

King sucked in a deep breath, “Don’t tell him that, I have enough brothers.”

“Mm-mmm, okay, I won’t,” Ranboo promised.

“Don’t burn my park down, and we won’t have problems,” King said before he walked away.

Roman was quick to motion for Ranboo to follow him. “Come on, I gotta plan and it involves helping a prince find his prince charming and you and Virgil are helping.”

“O-Okay,” Ranboo repeated and followed Roman over to where Virgil was sitting with Thomas over by the park’s little food court area.

People had gathered around the hero exhibition at this point. Logan and Patton working together like a well oiled machine against Tommy and Tubbo, Ethan taking notes and sometimes cutting in to fight as well.

As the older heroes quickly found out, Tommy and Tubbo were not only experienced fighters, but were adept at working together. They enjoyed sparring, so the fight quickly got a little rougher than Logan would have preferred, but Tommy refused to go easy on them.

“Logic! Logic!” Roman raced over and caused Logan to get hit in the face by Tommy’s elbow. Thankfully his suit took all the damage and the worst it did was wound the logical Side’s pride.

“Shit,” Tommy pulled back, “I got yeh[9] good, man.”

“Oooh, that looked bad,” Roman hissed.

“I’m fine,” Logan dismissed, looking over to see Roman, Patton, and Thomas all in their superhero outfits. Ranboo was hanging back behind them, amongst the group of onlookers. “The suit was safety rated for worse blows.”

“Want me ta[5] test it with a sledgehammer?” Tommy offered.

“Another time,” Logan promised. “This suit is overdue a pressure test.”

“Yes!” Tommy pumped his fist down. “Nice!”

“So, I have the best news,” Roman gushed in overexcited glee, pushing Thomas closer. “Iridescence met someone. Someone amazing. It’s true love, I tell.”

“Uh, Princey, it’s a little too early for that,” Thomas tried to rebuttal as Patton let out an enraptured gasp.

“Interesting,” Logic looked from Roman to Thomas. “Were you all in costume when this happened?”

“Nah, don’t get your tie twisted, Specs,” Roman smiled. “We suited up afterwards so we could share the good news. He’s amazing, I tell you, a true wonder of the world.”

“I thoroughly embarrassed myself and toppled into a trash can,” Thomas corrected.

“It was awful,” Virgil agreed, with a goading smile on his face.

Logan led the group out of the park, it was getting dark. “I can see you’re going to be thoroughly distracted for the rest of the day,” Logan sighed as they started heading back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations:

1. Fuck

2. your

3. want to

4. for

5. to

6. of

7. going to

8. Kind of

9. you

2 notes · View notes

neerasrealm · 4 years

Text

LJ has to hide a body

I couldn’t think of a better title and that one is actually p accurate. Basically think of that scene from the grinch where a lil girl catches him stealing the christmas tree and he sends her back to bed but it’s LJ getting caught halfway through murdering the kid’s parent and yeah tw for implied child abuse

word count: 2128

He was careful, very, very careful about his kills. Violence wasn’t something he was prone to. He was a nice person most of the time, and wouldn’t hurt a fly. But when he did need to get violent...it came naturally to him. He was strong, and killing was something that had been ingrained in him centuries ago. He felt oddly calm as he worked. That was all it felt like to him after the initial thrill of the kill. He’d taken the liberties of toying with his victim a bit before killing her. Nothing special- a broken nose, letting his pet spiders run around on her body while he held her still, pulling out the eyes- simple things. Simple, but still enough to give him a laugh. And now he got to the more time consuming part of doing this. Harvesting. He took organs for some of the other people he lived with who enjoyed the taste of human flesh. It wasn’t something Slender approved of much, but- well, demons need to eat too. Not that he knew anything about that himself. He was an angel. Though his appearance definitely didn’t make that obvious. Nor did his actions.

As he was busy very carefully removing the kidneys, arguably the most important organ to collect since they were Junior’s favorite, he froze. He slowly turned his head, his breath catching in his throat. ‘’Please, please let that be my imagination-’’ he thought as he listened intently. It was deathly silent for a few tense moments before he heard another noise. This time, the sound of a tap running. He dropped the kidney in panic and climbed quickly off his bed. He yanked the bedsheets over the dead body and then quickly walked over to the door, wiping his bloody hands with a wet wipe pulled from his striped sleeve. He opened the door and stepped out into the hallway as silently as possible. He shut the door behind him and glanced around. The hallway was barren for a moment until he heard a click from one of the rooms to his right.

The door opened slowly and a small head poked out. A human boy, who could only be around eight to ten years old. He sleepily looked around, then froze, staring at him in shock.

‘’...Jackie…?’’ the boy whispered. Jack softened and stepped towards the boy, crouching down. He gave the boy a soft smile and rubbed his cheek with the back of a clawed hand.

‘’Ello James,’’ he greeted gently. Looking at him, it was impossible to tell he was panicking inside. That was one thing he was good at; staying calm around children. ‘’Weren’ ye suppose’ta stay wiv yer aunt tonigh’?’’

‘’She got sick.’’ the boy murmured back. ‘’What are you doing here?’’ he asked.

Jack gave him a soft grin. ‘’Well I was suppose’ta prepare a surprise fer ya while ye were gone! Bu’ now I can’t because ye’re ‘ere.’’

James frowned. ‘’Awe…’’ he murmured. Jack picked him up and held him close, laughing gently.

‘’We’ll do i’ another time, promise kiddo.’’ he stood up, jostling the small boy in his arms. ‘’Ow abou’ a bedtime story while I’m ‘ere, eh?’’

The small boy beamed up at him. ‘’Can we get midnight snacks too?’’ he asked softly. Jack laughed and nodded.

‘’Of course we can, kiddo.’’ he murmured as he carried the boy down the hall to the kitchen. He set the child down on the kitchen table and smiled at him gently. ‘’Wha’ do ye want?’’

‘’Peanut butter toast?’’ the boy’s voice was so soft and gentle- like the simple request was something big and hard to get. ‘’I...think there’s still peanut butter left. Mom bought some last month I think.’’

Jack nodded gently and opened the cupboards, searching around for a jar that probably wasn’t there. He glanced at James, who frowned. Jack forced a smile and leaned down to the boy. ‘’Ye wanna see a magic trick?’’ he asked. James brightened up and nodded. Jack reached into his striped sleeve and made a show of rummaging around. He pulled out a lollipop and frowned at it. ‘’Ere, ‘old this fer me.’’ he said, passing the lollipop to the boy. Next he pulled out a paper airplane, which he threw across the room before resuming his search. He pulled out a couple more items, acting even more confused with each one. James laughed at that, which made Jack smile. Finally, he pulled out an entire jar of peanut butter. Still sealed. He smiled at the boy. ‘’Found i’.’’

James clapped quietly, grinning. He swung his legs excitedly off the table. ‘’Thanks Jackie!’’ he whispered as he took the jar from Jack, who smiled softly at how excited the child was over such a simple thing. He patted the boy’s head, his thumb brushing against the band-aid on his forehead.

‘’I’s nofink.’’ he said gently. He moved over to the fridge and opened it, pulling out some bread for the two of them. He paused for a second, looking at just how...empty, it was. That explained why James always very politely asked for extra candy to take home with him, he supposed. He put the bread into the toaster and turned it on.

‘’Jackie?’’

‘’Hm?’’ Jack looked over at the boy.

‘’Can I have some milk too?’’ he asked, fiddling with his bandaged wrapped fingers.

Jack smiled. ‘’Of course ye can,’’ he moved back to the fridge and grabbed the carton of milk. He poured the boy a glass and hummed. ‘’Ye want i’ warm?’’

‘’Yes please.’’

Jack put the glass in the microwave and moved over to the table. He sat down beside the boy and patted his head lovingly. James giggled. ‘’Mom wouldn’t let me eat this late.’’ he said. Jack gave a half-hearted laugh.

‘’Yeh…’’ he glanced aside. It was quiet for a few moments before the microwave dinged. James blinked and glanced at the hallway they’d come from.

‘’Mom didn’t hear that, right?’’

Jack shook his head. ‘’Nah. She won’ ‘ear us, I promise.’’ he said as his arm stretched out and opened the microwave. He grabbed the glass of milk and handed it over to the boy next to him. James took the glass and drank quietly. Jack anxiously cast a glance at the hallway they'd come from. He just had to play it cool and make sure the boy didn't find out what had happened to his mother. "Easy peasy." He thought to himself as guilt settled in his stomach.

"Pop!" Went the toaster, making Jack break out of his thoughts. He stood up quickly and put the toast on plates.

"Peanu' bu'er?" Jack extended his arm over to James, who handed him the jar. Jack cracked it open and spread on a thick layer of peanut butter. "Wha' shape do ye like i' in?"

"Triangles?"

Jack smiled and nodded. "Good choice." He murmured, cutting up the toast for the two of them. He sat down on the table again. James ate quickly, like he was hungry. Jack patted the boy's head again and tilted his head. "Ye ever try toas' wiv peanu' bu'er an' nutella?" he asked with a mouthful of toast.

James shook his head. "Mom doesn't buy nutella that often, and when she does I'm not allowed have it much."

Jack frowned. "Awe." He murmured. "Ye should try i'. I'll make sure ta ge' ye another jar 'f th' stuff."

"I thought you could get anything you want whenever you want?"

"I mean- yeh I'm magic, bu' I'm no' THA' magical."

James laughed. Jack chuckled along with him. He was such a sweet boy- they always were. Such sweet children that never did any wrong to anyone. It broke his poor heart. Once James had finished eating, Jack dropped their plates and cup into the sink and picked the boy up again, giving him an affectionate squeeze.

"Ye wanna bedtime story, kiddo?"

"Yes please!"

Jack nodded and smiled down at him before walking out of the kitchen. He walked up the stairs of the small house, ducking in the upstairs hallway to avoid hitting his head against the low ceiling. That made James giggle though, so he wasn’t going to complain about it. He stepped into the boy’s small bedroom. It had a higher ceiling, and barely anything else. An old bed that looked too small for the already small boy, a cold radiator with frayed rope hanging off of the pipe attaching it to the wall, a tiny wardrobe and a few old, stray toys scattered around. The room stunk of cigarettes, and a few circular burns could be seen on the bed sheets, walls and carpet.

Jack gently placed the boy down into the bed. He tugged the blankets up, tucking him. He shivered and looked around. ‘’Is i’ col’ in ‘ere ‘r is i’ jus’ me?’’

‘’It’s cold.’’ James murmured back. Jack nodded and reached into his striped sleeve. James watched with curious eyes as he pulled out a small, round bear plush. James took it and found that it was pleasantly warm. He hugged the bear tight, curling around it. Jack pet the boy’s head gently, his bony black fingers brushing gently through soft, fluffy hair. Jack turned and looked at the boy’s tiny, crowded bedside table. There was a large stack of books on it. Jack smiled a bit. James had always liked books- he remembered the boy excitedly showing him his latest library haul only a couple of weeks ago. He picked up one of the books and turned to the boy, opening it to where the bookmark had been put.

-----

Jack quietly stepped out of the bedroom. He looked over his shoulder at the sleeping boy. He smiled gently and shut the door. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. Gods, what a night...he reached not into his sleeve, but his short’s pocket, and pulled out an old, cracked phone. He switched it on and immediately set to sending a text.

‘’Are either of you awake and can either of you help me clean up and hide a body’’ he sent. He dropped his arm and leaned against the wall while he waited for an answer. His phone vibrated and he looked down at it again.

‘’Yeah, I’m up. What’s the address? I’ll wake up Cody.’’

-----

Knocking on the window made LJ look up from the pancakes he was cooking. He looked up and saw two masked figures standing in the window. One’s mask was blue, with pitch black eyes, and the other was- well, a gas mask. The gas mask wearing figure waved at him. Jack glanced to the side and stretched his arm over, unlocking the back door. The two masked figures disappeared from the window and walked inside moments later.

‘’Oooh, are those three AM pancakes!?’’ the gas-masked person asked excitedly.

‘’No, Cody, they’re fer th’ kid. When ‘e wakes up t’morraw nobody’s g’nna be aroun’ ta make ‘im breakfas’. I don’ wannim goin’ ta school ‘ungry.’’ Jack replied, sounding like a chiding father. Cody pouted.

‘’Aw man…’’

‘’We’ll get ihop on the way home.’’ EJ murmured to his friend as he padded softly into the kitchen, his tail swishing as he moved. He sniffed the air. ‘’Down the hall?’’

‘’Yup.’’ Jack replied. ‘’Some ‘f th’ organs migh’ no’ be edible anymore. Sorry abou’ tha’.’’

‘’It’s fine.’’ Jack replied softly. ‘’C’mon Cody.’’

Cody quickly followed him down the hall and into the bedroom. It stunk of cigarettes in here too, more so than the other room. EJ yanked off the bedsheet and looked at the corpse on the bed. A few tupperware containers sat near it. EJ picked one up and sniffed it. ‘’Liver.’’ he grunted before putting it down again.

Over the course of the next three hours EJ, LJ and Cody removed and buried the body, cleaned out the bedroom, and bought food to tide James over for the couple days they’d wait to report the boy’s mother missing. The sun was beginning to rise as the trio sat at the kitchen table, drinking glasses of tap water because they felt guilty taking anything from the fridge. LJ sat up slowly and sighed.

‘’We’d be’er ‘ead off.’’ he murmured. ‘’Th’ kiddo will be up soon.’’

The three of them stood up. EJ and Cody moved to the back door. They paused for a moment and looked over at LJ. ‘’Senior?’’ EJ asked. ‘’You coming?’’

LJ was staring at a photo on the wall. One of the few photos in the entire house. It featured James, maybe only three or four years old, smiling wide and hugging a big plush dragon. LJ slowly dragged his eyes away from it and walked towards the other two. ‘’Yeh, I’m comin’...’’ he murmured.

#laughing jack #eyeless jack #x virus #x virus creepypasta #creepypasta #writing #creepypasta fanfic #creepypasta fanfiction

17 notes · View notes

pastpatientlywaitingforimagines · 5 years

Text

Dragonology | Charlie Weasley x femHufflepuff!Reader Part 6.

Warnings: Romance, kissing, alcohol, dragons

Part 1

DRAGONOLOGY FAQ

You walked in silence until you were on the front steps of Hagrid’s hut, knocking on his door.

“Get back, Fang,” you heard the half-giant say from behind the closed door. With a swing it opened, revealing the bearded man inside. You were immediately crushed in a hug, feeling Fang circling your legs and licking your pants.

“(y/n) an’ Charlie! What’re you doing here? It’s so good te see ya! Come in, I’ll put on some tea,” Hagrid finally released you from his grasp.

“We’re here for the tournament, actually,” you said, settling in the chair you had spent many hours in during your time at Hogwarts. Charlie fell into his own chair, his eyes meeting yours.

“The tournament? Harry’s competin’ ya know. Don’t know why, he’s just a boy,” Hagrid shook his head.

You told Hagrid that you had heard, then the conversation switched to the work you were doing in Romania with the dragons.

“Is that why you’re here? Are there going to be dragons in the tournament?” Hagrid asked. You and Charlie both nodded.

“Would you like to see them, Hagrid?” Charlie asked, already knowing the answer.

“What kind of question is that? Of course I wanna see them,” Hagrid said.

“They’re still sleeping right now, why don’t you meet us on Saturday? They’ll be fully recovered from the sleeping draught then,” you suggested.

“Sure, when?”

“Midnight would probably be best, for secrecy’s sake,” Charlie answered after a moment of silence between you.

“Of course. Will yeh be staying for the rest of the tournament?”

“No, we’ll have to bring the dragons back to Romania. Sounds like it’ll be a good event though,” you said with a smile. Hagrid nodded slowly.

You spent the rest of the afternoon with him, then made your way back through the forest to your team’s tents. You checked in with all of the dragons, who were still all sleeping soundly, before going to the tent you would be sharing with Charlie.

“We made it,” he said with a kiss to your forehead as you settled into bed.

“Don’t speak too soon,” you teased.

“It’ll work out. We got this far, right?”

You had a hard time believing his words when you were woken by your names being called loudly from the entryway. You were the first out of bed, rubbing sleep from your eyes.

“Teca woke up,” Chris, one of the Fireball handlers was at the door, eyes wide. You summoned your sweater, tossing it over your head before heading out into the cool night. Charlie was right behind you. The area outside the tents was alight with small fires. The other Fireball trainer was spraying water from their wand to put them out, something you and Charlie aided with as you made your way to Teca.

“So much for the forest being a peaceful place for them to wake up,” your fiancé joked under his breath. Your brain started reeling with ways to calm the stressed dragon.

“I don’t want to stun her,” you voiced your thoughts to Charlie.

“We’d have to wake up the others to do it, the four of us aren’t enough to completely stun her anyways.”

“Let’s move her deeper into the forest, away from the others, and increase the protections we have around her until she calms down. If she keeps this up she’s going to hurt someone,” you decided.

“Works for me,” Charlie agreed. You gathered Chris, figuring that three levitation spells would be enough to move the large dragon, and with a wave of your wands picked up her crate and started moving. You had to be careful to avoid the bursts of flame as you moved, but your plan was ultimately successful. When you were at an appropriate distance from your basecamp, you set her down and started placing stronger fireproofing and protection spells. Charlie helped reinforce them, adding some charms of his own.

You sat down in the spruce needles that cushioned the soil under your slippered feet. Charlie sunk down next to you, rolling his wand between his fingers.

“You can go back to bed, I’m going to stay out here for a while,” you told Charlie as he settled next to you.

“Very funny, (y/n). We’ve spent too much time in this forest for me to leave you here alone. Rule number one.”

“Never go into the forest alone,” you finished.

When your team of dragonologists found you in the morning you were still in front of the dragon enclosure, fast asleep in your sweater and slippers. Charlie’s arms were around you and he was sleeping as well. After laughing to themselves for a minute, Chris tapped you with the toe of his boot.

“Might want to get up and get dressed, friends,” he teased as you blinked awake.

“What’s going on?” Charlie was the first to form a coherent sentence.

“Dumbledore and Bagman are coming out to see the dragons. They’ll be here within the hour. Figured you might want to change your shoes or something,” Amelia, one of the handlers on Team Teca clued you in.

“Thanks gang,” you said as you helped Charlie to his feet. You went back to your tent giggling like schoolgirls.

“I can’t believe we fell asleep out there,” Charlie said as he tossed you your favorite fireproof pants from across the room.

“Been a while since we’ve done that,” you shimmied them on, then started pushing textbooks and robes out of the way looking for your boots, “and now we have to meet with the headmaster.”

“Just like old times,” he laughed, tying up his own boots as you pulled yours out from under the bed, “do you think he’ll give us acid pops?”

“Not if he has Bagman with him,” you rolled your eyes, “he never gave us sweets if there was someone else in the office.”

Shaking his head with a smile, Charlie shrugged on his robes and waited for you by the door. After slipping your arms through your own sleeves, you reached over and fixed his collar.

“Thanks,” Charlie pressed a gentle kiss to your lips before holding the tent open for you. You both exited, then proceeded to check on all of the dragons. Your guess was that the rest of the dragons would be waking up before dark. As you had predicted, Teca had calmed down now that she was more isolated from the rest.

“Can you prep a whole prey item for her while we talk to Dumbledore? She’s been through a lot, no need to make her work today,” you said to Amelia, who nodded.

“(y/n)!” You heard Charlie call your name from the other dragon enclosures. You jogged back over to him, noticing the two men approaching your camp.

“How do you manage to get covered in scales every time?” Charlie asked softly, pulling a Horntail scale from where it was stuck in your hair. You took it from him and stuck it in your pocket, then dried your sweaty palms on your pants.

“Are you nervous?” You kept your eyes on the approaching men.

“A little. It’ll be ok though,” Charlie sounded sincere, so you willed yourself to believe him.

Dumbledore seemed pleased when he entered your camp, though the man at his side was less bubbly.

“Charlie, (y/n), so glad to see you again,” Dumbledore said calmly.

“Hello Professor,” you and Charlie chorused.

“Please, you’re professionals now, call me Albus,” he clasped each of your hands in his own, “shall we see the dragons?” he asked, not bothering to introduce Bagman.

“Of course. Most of them are still sleeping, but they should be waking up today,” you said, starting to walk towards the crates.

Dumbledore oohed and ahhed at each dragon. Next to him, Bagman was quiet. You and Charlie shared a smirk at the frightened older man.

“And this is Teca, the Hungarian Horntail,” Charlie said proudly when you reached the largest dragon. Bagman seemed to shrink smaller into his jacket as she swung her head around to watch you.

“Beautiful,” was Dumbledore’s word choice here.

“Isn’t she amazing?” your question was mostly rhetorical.

“How will they be contained during the task?” Bagman finally spoke up.

“They’ll be chained so they don’t fly off, mostly for their own safety. And if anything goes wrong, we have response teams set up. Each dragon has us as either their primary or secondary handlers, plus two other trainers. Our team has 10 dragonologists in total that are well prepared for everything and anything that could go wrong,” you said confidently as you made your way back towards the tents.

“Speaking of, where is everyone else?” Charlie asked.

“Ah, the house elves have taken the liberty of setting up a feast for you in your dining tent. I believe they left something in particular for you, (y/n),” Dumbledore had his signature twinkle in his eye, “thank you for all of your hard work, we best be off now.”

Dumbledore and Bagman took off into the depths of the forest, leaving you and Charlie to join your coworkers in the large dining tent. Sitting on the table amidst the food was a large, steaming cup of tea. Next to it was a scrap of parchment with “For Miss (y/n)” scribbled on it in rough handwriting.

The first task went better than you anticipated, considering you were transporting dragons on and off school grounds. You had to patch up your creatures a bit afterwards, but mostly everyone went unscathed.

“You seem grouchy,” you nudged Charlie as you once again found yourself dipping meat into sleeping draught.

“Krum was reckless. Half of the Fireball eggs we brought were destroyed. Doesn’t he know how important those are?”

“He also messed up her eyes pretty badly. Took me ages to clear them up. Celebrities are so entitled,” you rolled your eyes. Charlie knew that you were just teasing, though you were telling the truth. It had taken you much longer than it should have to cure the Fireball.

After putting all of the dragons to sleep and shrinking them down, you were ready to load them up into the briefcase again. As you closed the latches and handed them off to the trainers, you reminded them of the rest of the plan.

“Henry and Dmitri will be waiting for you when you get back. Free feed for the weekend, we should be back by Monday.”

You exhaled as the eight dragonologists mounted their brooms and flew away, leaving Charlie at your side.

“Are you ready?” he asked, taking your hand. You smiled at him.

“Let’s go surprise your mum.”

Previous Part | Next Part

#charlie weasley #charlie weasley ff #charlie weasley fanfic #charlie weasley fanfiction #charlie weasley x reader #harry potter imagine #harry potter and the goblet of fire #harry potter fanfic

62 notes · View notes

chuffyfan87 · 4 years

Text

Growing Pains. Part 24a

Cowritten with @disastrousintention. Trigger warnings for discussion of abuse, eating disorders and substance misuse.

-x-

Night shifts were bad enough, especially if your night shifts happened to fall on Friday and Saturday nights when the majority of A&E attendances were drunken louts. New Years Eve was no different and Charlie and Duffy were both rota’d in to cover the department. Charlie groaned as he looked at the clock. How an Earth was it only 10pm? He felt like he’d been here twelve hours already.

It seemed that the heavy drinking and fights had started especially early this year, with numerous patients arriving with injuries from assaults and traffic accidents.

Charlie had barely spoken to Duffy, both of them far too busy with their job.

After patching up a young man with a busted nose Duffy realised that they were minutes away from midnight. After finishing off her patient's notes she did a quick visual sweep of the department before spotting Charlie near his office. A mischievous grin lit up her face as she strode over to him. Grabbing hold of his arm with one hand and opening the door with the other she pulled him into his darkened office.

He laughed as he was pulled into his office. “Hello gorgeous.”

"Have you seen the time?" She giggled.

“Nearly midnight?” He smiled.

"Exactly. And this is one of the few perks of working the new year's night shift together." She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss.

As he kissed her gently, one of his hands grabbed her bottom, giving it a playful squeeze.

Her fingers played with the collar of his tunic as she slid her tongue into his mouth.

He sucked on her tongue.

She walked him backwards towards the desk, not breaking the kiss.

He reached the desk, the kiss becoming more passionate.

She giggled against his lips as she heard the cheers and excitement from outside as the new year arrived.

He laughed gently against her lips, “Happy New Year babe.”

"Happy New Year handsome. Let's make this the best year yet." She grinned.

“Of course. We’re getting married again.”

"I can't wait. I..." There was a loud bang on the door. "Urgh, sounds like duty calls!" She sighed dramatically.

He gave her a quick kiss. “Sounds like we’re needed.”

"At least they've learnt not to just barge in!" She giggled.

“That’s true! Come on, gorgeous. Lets go back to work.”

"See you in a bit." She smiled as they both headed back out into the department.

It was around an hour later when there was a commotion in the middle of the reception area. Two blokes squaring up to each other. As the nearest senior member of staff Duffy headed over to try and calm things down without the need for security to be called yet again.

"Right, enough! Either you calm down or you leave! Which is it to be?" She raised her voice as she positioned herself between them as much as she could.

One of the men seemed to back down but the other one didn’t. He pushed Duffy and launched himself at the guy. Luckily, some other members of staff were able to separate them and chuck them out of the department.

The fracas had drawn Charlie's attention and he came rushing through concerned to find his wife sat awkwardly on the floor. He crouched down in front of her. “Babe, you ok?”

"Yeh, just give us a hand up will you?"

He helped her up off the floor.

The second she attempting to put any weight on her left leg it crumpled, a pained scream ripped from her throat.

“Duffy?” He stopped and looked at her.

"I'll be fine, I just need to walk on it a bit."

“Can I take you to cubicles? Give you a proper examination?”

"I think it's a busy right now for us to sneak off for a quickie." She attempted to joke but her leg was in agony.

“I think you’ve broken your ankle.”

"Don't be ridiculous, it'll just be bruised from landing awkwardly." She argued as she attempted to limp through to cubicles, trying to ignore the fact that he was having to do most of the work to propel her forwards.

He made her sit down on the bed and he gently took off her shoe. He wrinkled his nose and teased, “They’re a bit wiffy.”

"Rude! Ow! Are you this rough with all your patients?" She complained.

“No.” He examined her ankle gently, “I’m going to order an X-ray, there’s a chance it’s broken. Do you want some pain relief?”

"Oh don't be so dramatic! Just strap it up, I'll take a couple of paracetamol and I'll be fine in a couple of hours."

“Please Duffy. I don’t want you to be in pain. And with your history, I’m not taking any chances.”

"What history? A twisted ankle isn't going to trigger anything." She rolled her eyes.

“I meant the fact you’ve not long healed from a fractured wrist.” He sighed, “You’re having an X-ray, I’ll carry you up there myself if I have to.”

"Fair enough if I'd hurt my wrist again but I haven't."

“Please will you stop being so argumentative and stubborn? The quicker you agree to an X-ray, the quicker you can get back to work when it turns out to be a sprain.”

"Fine!" She harumphed. "But only because you won't shut up about it until I do."

“Thank you.” He kissed her nose and forehead before washing his hands and leaving. Before he reached the door, he called; “Try and stay out of mischief whilst I order your X-ray.”

"Fine." She folded her arms, sulking.

Charlie rolled his eyes playfully and went to order the X-ray for Duffy.

By the time he came back the cubicle was empty.

He shook his head. Where the bloody hell had she gone?

He eventually found her in a nearby cubicle, leaning against the trolley as she stitched the head wound of a young woman who had fallen over after being ejected from a nightclub.

He watched her clearly unamused. He waited until she’d finished stitching the head wound before he coughed. “Duffy?”

"Yes?" She asked nonchalantly.

“You need to go for your X-ray when you’ve finished here.”

"OK." She turned back to her patient. "A doctor will be along in a bit to give you a final check over and then you can go home."

The young girl smiled sleepily, “Thank you.”

Once outside the cubicle, Charlie put his hand on her arm, “Do you want me to come with you?”

"Can you spare the time? It seems pretty busy."

“Yeah.”

"I'm not using a wheelchair." She insisted stubbornly.

“Did I mention using a wheelchair?”

"The way you've got hold of my arm suggests you don't believe I can walk there by myself."

“I’m worried that if you do have a broken ankle, you’re making it worse by walking on it.”

"Shall we just get this over with so I can get back to work?"

They went upstairs to the X-ray department and Charlie waited whilst Duffy had her ankle xrayed.

He was somewhat surprised when the xray tech came out to fetch him rather than her returning by herself.

“Everything ok?” He asked the technician.

"She's going to need help getting back downstairs and she wasn't happy for me to come out here to speak to you but..."

“Is her ankle broken then?” Charlie smiled sadly and stood up. “Did you get a mouthful?”

"In three places." The tech confirmed. "She insisted I take the xray again..."

“Stable fracture or is it displaced?” Charlie queried as he followed the technician into the room.

"You'll need to get one of your doctor mates to look at it to tell you that."

“Right, ok.” Charlie approached Duffy and picked her up. “I’m not letting you walk on that ankle if it’s broken in three places.”

"Charlie!" She complained loudly. "I am not an invalid!"

“Nope. But you’ve got a broken ankle. So either I carry you downstairs or I get you a wheelchair?”

"Oh this is so humiliating..!" She grumbled.

He was silent as he carried her downstairs and back to her original cubicle. Sitting her on the bed, he stroked her hair. “I’m going to get Zoe to come and talk to you, ok?”

"This is a lot of fuss over nothing Charlie."

“I think there’s something medically wrong.” He said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

“How many bones have you broken in the last twelve months?”

"Um... Three... Well I suppose four if you want to be pedantic and count each finger individually..." She caught the look he was giving her. "Alright! And my wrist was fractured in two places so... If you add that to today then I guess you'd call it seven fractures but I'm only counting it as three."

“That’s not normal.” He said gently, “And it never occurred to me that there may be a medical reason.”

"I've broken bones all through my adult life..." She shrugged. "Curse of being clumsy!" She added flippantly, attempting to gloss over the years of abuse she'd suffered at the hands of her exhusband.

He stroked her cheek, “You and I both know that’s not true. I want to talk to Zoe about referring you for a dexa scan.”

"I don't need one!" She retorted angrily.

“What are you so afraid of?”

"Nothing. I just think it's a pointless expense in an already financially unstable system."

“I disagree. I feel it’s necessary.”

"There's nothing wrong with me!"

“Has it ever occurred to you, you could have osteoporosis?”

"I'm too young." She retorted.

“That’s what I thought but,” He took her hand stroking his thumb over the back of it, “I think your eating disorder probably meant you developed it sooner.”

"I don't have an..!" Her outburst was cut off by Zoe entering the cubicle.

“You and I both know that’s bollocks, Duffy!” Charlie replied as he looked at Zoe.

"I'm here to check on your broken ankle." Zoe explained, looking suspiciously from Duffy to Charlie and back again.

There was an awkward silence between Charlie and Duffy until Charlie asked Zoe. “Can I ask you to do something for me?”

"Depends..." Zoe replied. She held Duffy's medical file in her hands and it made for concerning reading, especially when taken in conjunction with the argument she'd just witnessed.

“Is there any chance you can refer Duffy for a dexa scan?”

"Well I'd need to ascertain first if that was the correct way to proceed." Zoe replied before turning her attention to Duffy. "Do you have any other injuries or is it just the ankle?" She asked.

"Just the ankle. Honestly I'm fine. There's no need for any fuss."

“You’ve got her medical records.” Charlie replied and watched Duffy carefully.

"Yes I have and I'd like to examine Duffy thoroughly. Alone." Zoe added pointedly.

“Why? Because you think I’m the cause of her injuries?” He sighed and stood up. “I’ll be in my office.”

"That was completely unfair!" Duffy remarked angrily, folding her arms. As she did so she realised she had a ring of bruising on her upper arm, she shifted her fingers to cover it.

“Is there anything you’d like to talk to me about in confidence?” Zoe asked, “Does he hurt you?”

"No!" Duffy's heart was beginning to hammer, her head pounding.

“You don’t have to be scared of him.” Zoe watched Duffy’s reaction, noticing her breathing had become heavier. “You’ve got bruising on your upper arm. How did it happen?”

"I'm not. It's nothing!"

“Duffy, your medical records over the years show a lot of broken bones. Am I really supposed to believe it’s because you’re clumsy?”

"That's nothing to do with Charlie!" Duffy was teetering on the verge of hysteria.

“Can I examine you?”

"No!" Duffy hugged her arms around herself. "You're here to fix my ankle, nothing else!"

“As the doctor undertaking your care, I’d like to do an examination. Has Charlie hurt you somewhere else?”

"No!" Duffy practically screamed.

“Then if it’s not Charlie, has someone else?” Zoe pressed gently.

Duffy turned her head away.

Zoe sighed and began to examine Duffy's broken ankle, concerned that her foot felt cold. Her concern deepened when she checked Duffy's other foot and found the same issue.

“If someone’s hurting you, you don’t have to suffer alone.” Zoe paused, “Both your feet are cold, are you usually cold?”

"I'm fine." Duffy replied defensively, knowing full well that her toenails were tinged blue, just like her fingernails and her lips under her lipstick.

“She’s always cold but she’s more cold recently.” Charlie said from the curtain. “She’s bulimic. The reason she won’t let you examine her is because you’ll see how much weight she’s lost. It’s the same reason we haven’t been intimate for weeks. Ever since I said about renewing our wedding vows, her bulimia is worse. It’s the cause of her fractures most likely.”

"Charlie!" Duffy screamed angrily. "I don't have an eating disorder, there's nothing wrong with me!"

“Admit it. Just say it out loud Duffy!”

"No!" Duffy's heart was racing faster and faster, she began to struggle for breath.

#chuffy #charlie and duffy #charlie fairhead #lisa duffin

3 notes · View notes

movedyourchair505 · 5 years

Text

Napule Nights - trentotto

So basically, Denise gave me the idea for this one a while ago and I absolutely loved it and discussed it with Elana instantly and this is the result x

- chapter navigation -

Alex's eyes followed the imaginary shapes the ascending smoke formed over his head, higher and higher until they dissolved, but it was barely a helpful distraction as he waited impatiently, leaned back in his office chair, third smoke within the last ten minutes trapped between his lips while his fingers tapped rhythmically on the top of his desk.

The moment of calm was rare to him, this week particularly because besides the one, sometimes two of his waking hours he'd spent at home, he'd been working without exception, had at the same time allowed Jade to assist just as much with whatever she could, and it was a comfort to him that as eager she was to see him in the evenings, the mornings, she was equally as ambitious when it came to contributing to the business. But as much as it eased him, it had been fifteen minutes, since she had been supposed to be back, he'd told Matt to bring her straight to his office so they could go home together. He'd wanted to stop by Miles' place on the way, but now that he was growing more and more worried, felt more and more on edge, he couldn't think about anything else but her, tempted to ask his security outside if there was something was wrong but he knew that if there was, he'd be the first to know, and there was no way that anything would happen because he'd increased security, for her and her work in particular, but what if anyone could still find a way around it?

He knew he wouldn't be able to deal with another incident like before, knew that it would not be bearable, not for his business, his reputation, and not for him. But before he could ultimately get carried away, there was a knock on the door of his office, his heart sinking but the second he gave the command to enter, the familiar clicking of her heels overshadowed everything else and he rose to his feet, walking around his desk and stood in front of her in no time, overwhelmed by how extraordinary she looked all over again, the lace lingerie-esque top hugging her body seductively, the pale yellow a contrast to her tanned skin as well as the tight, jam coloured skirt.

She smiled softly when she saw him, had been looking forward to seeing him today and couldn't wait for him to take her home, after spending the whole day focusing and working, she was more than ready for him to take her mind off everything, but there was a damper put instantly on her excitement when she saw the look on his face, his eyes wide, his jaw tense. "Baby?" She asked, moving her hands to close two buttons on his shirt, adjusting his collar.

He swallowed hard, tried to compose himself, his adam's apple straining in his throat, the pent up tension in his body not yet eased. "Yeh was supposed teh beh 'ere twenteh minutes ago."

She blinked, her lips parting and she tilted her head, closed her mouth again and took a breath before she spoke. "The exchange took a bit longer, but Helders made me wait in the car when the informant didn't show right away" she explained. "He made sure it was safe for me to come out and everythi-..."

She was prepared to continue, but then he'd closed the space between them and pressed his lips to hers, his hand pressed flat to her lower back in a way that left her unable to help her body curving into his, craning towards him, his other hand cupping the side of her face, trapping her and consuming her, smoke and something sweet, syrupy, and spice, taste blurring with scent, it was overwhelming even though it'd been just a few hours, but the warmth of his touch soothed her instantly, the possessiveness of his lips moving with hers, pressing her body as close to his as he could, and refusing to let go because he needed to know she was there.

She was panting when he let go, brushed her hair back affectionatedly, the soft chocolate brown of his eyes resting on her face. "Should we go?" She asked, breathless, and eager to distract him, take him home and take his mind off things the way she knew he was going to for her.

She snapped him out of his thoughs and he gave a quick nod, drawing back only to get his things and she helped him into his suit jacket before he looped his arm around her, leading her out of the office. "Weh're gunna stop by Mi on the way 'ome" he declared. "'aven't seen 'im in a few dehs." He felt more collected now to think about something else, the way she pressed herself to his side and kissed his jaw all the reassurance he needed.

"Intesi" she agreed, letting him lead her outside and pressing another kiss to his jaw when he gestured for Helders and Cook to step aside so he could open the door for her, once inside, it was impossible for him to keep his hands off her, one arm wrapped possessively around her shoulders, his hand resting on her thigh, never allowing her to miss his touch even on the way up into the building and the short time they stood in the lift, his grip tightening on her hip when Helders knocked on the apartment door before him and Cook stood on each side.

There was a short silence, then some footsteps approaching, Kane's face bright and beaming as he spotted them. "Ooooh, 'elloo" he chirped, wiggling his eyebrows, his smile reaching from one ear to the other and he opened the door further, gesturing for them to come inside and eagerly closing the door behind them. "'aven't seen yous in a bit, eh?" He smirked. "Can I get ya a drink? Weh're alreadeh well-a'ead, but..." He shrugged, gesturing to the girl sat on the edge of the table in the living room, her heavily-jewelled fingers shuffling a deck of cards, her body clad in a purple lace two-piece, the skirt short, the top offering a few similar to that of Jade's, who she nodded to with a smile, then pushed herself to her feet and walked over slowly to Miles.

Jade's gaze was drawn instantly from Lana to the space around her that demanded imminent attention, it was bright, prints and colours and sensory overflow, and tacky in a way that only Miles Kane could pull off. The walls were turquoise with a floral gold pattern, the sofas and armchairs in the living space shiny and velvet, colours ranging from bright pink to pale orange and several animals prints, leopard, zebra, tiger stripes. The floor was marble, sparkles here and there, and a holographic, multi-coloured chandelier lit the room at the center, the glass reflecting the other patterns and colours, nothing fit together, but that's why it worked. The whole place smelled floral, with a hint of musk, spice, and Jade recognised the music spinning on the record player quietly in the background, one of the dramatic Madama Butterfly pieces.

"Oh, I joost thought weh'd stop by" Alex drawled, his steps coming to a stop. "Didn't kno' yeh 'ad companeh..."

"Well, I already know Lana" Jade laughed, reaching out to smooth back his hair.

"Exactleh" Miles smirked. "Dun't beh silleh. We was joost 'bout teh play sum strip poker. 's more fun wif a bit of a parteh anehweh, innit?"

Alex's eyebrows rose, his gaze wandering from Miles to Lana, then back to Jade whose eyes were already sparkling with excitement. "Fookin' ... no."

Miles rolled his eyes, then winked at Lana before striding forward to extend his hand to Jade, the moment he took it, he drew her towards him and away from Alex, kissing both her cheeks. "And wha' about you, bella?"

"I'd love to" she said, licking her lips, the grin on Kane's face absolutely contagious, and they both turned to look at Alexander who stood tense, his jaw locking.

"Weh're not stayin'."

Miles raised an eyebrow. "Jade is."

It wasn't how she'd expected the night to go, but the suggestion excited her and she pulled her hand slowly from Kane's, walking back towards Alexander, a pout, an irresistible sultry look that could have killed him, her body warm and inviting pressed up against his when her hand came down to gently cup his face.

"'s not like weh 'aven't dune this before" Kane chirped as he nodded for Lana to follow him back to the table, gestured for her to start dealing out the cards while he carried over to more glasses to place down on the shiny glass table, ornated with sparkles on the legs, a clink of glass meeting when he set down the spirit-filled crystal after pouring more.

Jade raised her eyebrows, the smile playing on her lips already bordering victorious after Kane's reveal. "Is that so, Alexander?" She teased, licking her lips. "I don't think you can say no then, I don't think you can deny me the fun."

His lips were straight, his jaw tense. "I can do wha'ever the fook I want" he muttered, gritting his teeth but he knew it wasn't right, and the spark in her eyes, the anticipation flickering across her face, it was irresistible, and he could never be the source of replacing that gaze with something that wasn't pure joy, her smile growing when she could sense him caving.

"Are yeh even wearin' anehfin' underneath, pupa?" He asked, knew there was more worry to be had about the sparse coverage of her skin than his two-piece suit, shiny and dark grey, the midnight blue shirt underneath and besides, he had never lost a game of poker against Miles.

She smirked excitedly, certain she was getting her way and she barely had time to revel in the actual triumph that it was because Kane snapped and called them over again, Alex's fingers on Jade's waist tight as he led her to join the other two so she decided to meet him in the middle, kissed his jaw and whispered against his skin reassuringly. "Mmmm, two piece lingerie and this skirt."

He hummed, swallowed hard and couldn't believe that she had him hypnotised enough to get him to sit opposite Miles and Jade's friend, his fingers instantly finding Jade's thigh as she sat down next to him and gathered her cards in her hands and already purring with delight, giving Kane a thankful smile as she took a sip from the glass he moved over to her, then grabbed a remote from the edge of the table that dimmed the colourful lights.

"You've done this before then?" Jade asked, her inquistive eyes bright, flickering from Kane to Turner.

"Well, so have we" Lana laughed, drawing four cigarettes from a pack on the side of the table and moving two over to Jade along with a lighter, firing one up for her and Kane while Jade secured one between her own lips, then one between Alexander's, her heart skipping a beat when he looked right at her as she lit it.

"Well, never fookin' togefer all of us" Miles cackled, his ring clinking against his glass and he took a sip from the strong liquor, then a drag from his smoke, raking his fingers through his hair, radiating an energy none of the others were able to match, he didn't have much to take off himself, wearing merely a lilac tracksuit with black stripes at the sides, the jacket unzipped and exposing his tanned chest. "So 's about fookin' time!"

Alex rolled his eyes, watching Jade as she arranged her cards with nimble fingers as she held the cigarette between her pillowy lips, remembering when she'd helped him with his poker game, when she'd saved him and hopelessly impressed him despite everything and he ached to pull her into his lap and show her that no matter where they were and what they were doing that she was his, that she belonged to him, but she was on fire the moment the game begun, the first two rounds forcing Miles' jacket and Lana's top, as well as Alex's jacket from them while she stayed clad in the complementary look that Alex was aching to tear off her in private, get on his knees to worship the extraordinaire she was, the powerful smile of satisfaction suiting her face as well as the emerald did her collarbones and he caught himself inching closer to her, drinking more and more, enticed by the way she smelled the closer he got, pouting when she drew away again and raised an eyebrow at him.

"You are not looking at my cards, Alexander."

He huffed, gathering the self-control he could muster to shift to the other side. "Dun't fookin' need teh."

Jade hummed, a triumphant smile spread across her face when she placed down another set of cards that guaranteed success and Alex breathed out with relief, yet found himself exhaling shakily when Miles revealed his own cards and gathered all the chips in the middle, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Do I finalleh get teh see sum of ya, bella?" He asked, tilting his head and nuzzling into the touch of Lana's palm when she stroked the side of his face and shifted closer to him.

"Actually, sexy, I think you might be the only one that hasn't" she teased.

Jade laughed, felt Alexander tense beside her as he slipped out of his croc leather shoes while Lana shook back her hair and drew all of Miles' attention to herselfwith ease when she sat pressed close to him in just her heels and a set of transparent underwear, lace and crimson and only covering the most necessary. "Oh, you'll like that, won't you, Kane?"

Alex's grip tightened on Jade's thigh and he swallowed, his eyes flickering to look from Lana to Jade and while he refused to let her take off more, he ached to see her just as exposed, ached to see every inch of her body, soothed by the way the colour around her neck had been fading more and more, her cuts and bruises healing, her knees promising a position he loved to see her in but he tensed when she stood up and his hand slipped from her thigh, his eyes widening when she started to undo her skirt. "No."

Jade raised an eyebrow at him. "What, handsome?" She teased, licking her lips, unable to keep the smug smile off her face because as well as she knew Lana, she didn't like Alexander looking, she'd watched and waited for his reaction, knew that it was eventually going to happen anyway when she'd agreed to stay for the game, but she hated giving him the satisfaction of matching his worries in something she teased him for, hated losing.

"Take the necklace off first."

Her eyes widened. "No way, Turner" she said, his last name rolling off her tongue in a way that had him despising how natural she made it sound, her voice melodic, purposeful. "You told me to not take it off."

"Fookin' knew I were gunna beh luckeh tonight but the bof of yeh..." Miles said, eyes wandering down Jade's lace lingerie, the pale yellow a beautiful contrast on her bare skin, revealing less than Lana and yet, the excitement was written shamelessly across his face, so much so that he cackled when he saw Alex snap in front of his face.

"Oi" Alex spat, his breath shaking with relief when Jade sat back down and didn't reveal much more than before and he placed his hand back down in its initial position, let it wander slowly up her inner thigh now that the restriction of her skirt was gone but she quickly closed her legs, trapped his hand in between her firm thighs, refusing to let him tease her any further, despite the prominent throbbing sensation between her legs, his possessiveness fuelling her lust as well as the need to capture his full attention.

As soon as she felt him closer again, not just his hands but his entire body, his breath tickling her ear when he spoke, she already found her own game increase in difficulty.

"Jade" he drawled, the depth of his voice thick and promising. "Yeh're fookin' testin' meh." He tried to move his hand but she clamped her own down to wrap her fingers around his wrist, her arm tense.

"I know" she breathed quietly, well-aware that Miles and Lana were preoccupied, she had now shifted to sit on one of his thighs, was trying to keep him at bay, his fingers roaming, lips hidden in the crook of her neck and eliciting quiet sounds from her.

"Dun't yeh pretend, doll..." Alex whispered, pressing a kiss to her sensitive skin just below her ear, a graze of his teeth, his lips irresistible. "I kno' wha' me voice does teh yeh..."

She breathed shakily, needed all her strength to focus on resisting him, watching the game and keep his fingers from where she was most desperate for him. She knew she couldn't control herself for much longer, and she knew exactly what she was doing, already missing what she'd had when he drew his head back, left her teased out of her mind and gagging for more.

With every sip she took from her drink, every time she adjusted her cards, smiled to herself or licked her lips, Alex's attention was drawn further from the game and more towards her, and he knew she was trying to tease him, knew initially that half of the appeal of the game for her had been to be victorious over him, be it in the game or convincing him, but he was practically eating out of the palm of her hand now, watching her every move, growing more desperate by the second, hardly noticing when Lana kicked off her heels and Miles got rid of his rings and chain, possibly to drag the game out further as it could only mean that while not wearing shoes as well, he was most likely not wearing anything under his tracksuit bottoms.

His concentration was merely affected when it was Jade's turn to take something off and it was a long gaze of tease, resistance, back and forth until she kicked off her heels reluctantly, and he sucked in a breath when the most promising selection of cards arranged itself in his hands and while he knew that Jade was too intelligent for her facial expression to match the game, he could tell that this was certainly going to be a round that played out in his favour so he instantly exchanged his best card for an unknown one, keeping up pretenses and revealing the worst set of the round, a smile of satisfaction on his lips when Jade won the round instead.

"Oh, fookin'ell..." he muttered, realising what it meant for him and he started unbuttoning his shirt slowly, knowing that he would have been more bothered by Jade taking off either item of underwear than him exposing his chest and back.

"Most of us 'ave seen" Miles smirked, licking his lips. "Oh, ya kno' we should 'ave asked James and Maffew teh join too!" He pouted.

The smile on Jade's face about his comment and the satisfaction over the knowledge that Alexander had most likely lost the round purposely was overshadowed by a glimpse of his back when she turned to him and she stopped him, put her hand on his shoulder to keep his shirt sleeve right where it was, taking a deep breath to swallow her pride, risking for his comfort to be the subject to an endless amount of teasing, but she knew that it would only work if she put herself into the situation, and if he would finally give her what she'd been excited for all day long, it had double the worth. "Don't bother" she said, sighing. "I think I'm too tired."

She could see the irriation on each of the others' faces but she stood her ground, reached to do Alexander's shirt back up and then stood to hold his jacket out for him, helped him slip inside as he swayed a little while stepping into his shoes, avoiding Kane's as well as Lana's gaze who had now torn from each other to her.

"Bella" Miles pouted. "Nobodeh's lost yet."

Jade pulled her skirt back on, and once she stood in her heels, she looked at him slowly. "You win, Kane" she said. "Said yourself you're lucky and with Lana here tonight, you can only win." She gave him a pointed look, knew he'd probably read her motivation the second she'd acted and she finished the contents of her glass before walking around the table to kiss Kane's cheeks, then let Lana pull her into a quick hug, relaxing when she gave a gentle squeeze of Jade's shoulder.

She was back by Alexander's side in no time and as much as he looked puzzled, the satisfaction and relief on his face prevailed, after his farewell to Kane he needn't be asked twice to lead Jade out of the apartment and flanked by Helders and Cook, down to the car, afraid that as suddenly as she had made the decision, she would once again change her mind.

Only when the doors of the car fell shut, Helders and Cook sat separate from them, did Alexander look her in the eye, his arm locked around her and pressing her possessively to his side once again, his fingers grazing the side of her cheek until he cupped her face to turn her head to look back at him. "Jade."

She swallowed, setting herself up for an unbearable tease, for the mockery, taunting, but before she could even develop the worst case scenario in her head, his lips were on hers, a searing kiss taking her breath away and her mind as far as away as she'd wanted and she didn't find it in herself to do anything but melt into him, his lips warm and hungry and he tasted irresistible, left her wanting more when he drew back and only challenged her control more with the deep, thick sound of his voice.

"Yeh undermined me authoriteh back there."

She pouted, licking her lips and watching him with wide eyes. "Mmmm, you shouldn't let me do that" she teased, attempting while she still could. "You're the fucking boss."

He swallowed hard, taken off guard, a deep exhale and as much as her words fuelled his need to ruin her, to show her how right she was after she'd coaxed him into so many things once again, he couldn't help himself, the way she'd understood what he needed before he even had himself was worth nothing less than his praise and grattitude to demostrate his wonder. "Fook, pupa..."

She purred when his hand moved slowly to wrap around her throat, the intensity of his eyes had her heart racing. "What, baby?" She whispered, begging him for more with her eyes silently.

He could hardly find the words, but couldn't let her wait until they got home, needed to take his time at the same time as he needed to appreciate her now, overwhelmed still with how lucky he was, that she wanted him and for him to get his way, knew how important it was and put it over her own greed for dominance, didn't need much to have him all figured out and it blended with everything that he admired with her, and the smile on her face was encouraging, left him unable to keep quiet any longer, couldn't bear holding anything back because he simply refused to ever let her go. "Il mio cuore..."

She pressed her lips together, melting into him and unable to draw her gaze from his, unable to say anything else, hanging onto his lips helplessly, anticipating the depth of his voice wrapped around another set of words that would have her do anything he wanted.

"Non posso vivere senza di te."

#alex turner #alex turner fanfic #alex turner fanfiction #alex turner fic #alex/jade #napule nights #miles kane #The Last Shadow Puppets #arctic monkeys #mafia!al #mafia au #alex turner/oc #adt #writing #chaptered fic

63 notes · View notes

aidanchaser · 5 years

Text

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone: Everyone Lives AU

Table of Contents

Chapter Sixteen Through the Trapdoor

Dear Sirius,

Detention was exciting. We went into the Forbidden Forest. Met some centaurs.

I know I tell you lots of stuff and make you promise not to tell Mum and Dad, but can you keep this one a secret, too?

When we were in the Forbidden Forest, we were looking for a hurt unicorn. I finally found it, but it was already dead. And something was drinking its blood. Then it came for me. It was terrifying. A dark, hooded, cloaked-thing. A centaur named Firenze scared it off and saved me. But I keep having nightmares about it. And there’s this green flash. And a woman screaming. Sometimes it sounds like Mum. And my scar keeps hurting.

Promise you won’t tell them? They get weird about my scar. All quiet and distant, and I don’t want them to worry. It’s just nightmares like normal, right?

Love, Harry

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Harry,

Congrats on surviving your first detention! You’ll make it alright.

I wouldn’t worry too much about your nightmares. Your exams are coming up, aren’t they? The Forbidden Forest can be a bit scary, and the extra stress of exams can make it worse.

You’re better off asking your Dad or Remus about what you saw. It sounds a bit like a Dementor, but those shouldn’t be in the Forbidden Forest. Might’ve been a Boggart.

I promise not to tell your parents about it, but you really shouldn’t feel like you can’t tell them. They’re your Mum and Dad, and no one but them loves you more. They only want what’s best for you, and sometimes they get a little worried about you. It’s because they love you.

I told Remus I was getting some stress headaches and he gave me a funny look, but recommended some teas. I tucked the recipes in. Maybe you can sneak some potions supplies out from under Snape’s nose, eh? And I also added on some hexes for that Malfoy kid. Nothing de-stresses for exams like hexing Slytherins who deserve it.

Best of luck!

Love, Sirius

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Remus,

I had detention in the Forbidden Forest. We were looking for a hurt unicorn. We didn’t find it in time, though. But I did meet some centaurs. One of them was friendly. His name was Firenze. The other two didn’t seem to like me much. I think they knew about when I was a baby and You-Know-Who tried to kill me, Mum, and Dad. They didn’t seem very happy about the whole thing. Are all centaurs like that? They kept talking about Mars. But we don’t take Divination until third year, so I have no idea what it means.

What happens to you if you kill a unicorn? And are the centaurs any better at Divination than humans?

Love, Harry

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Harry,

I’m sorry you had to see a dead unicorn. It’s a tragic thing. No one should have to see something like that.

But you’re very lucky to have met some centaurs! They don’t usually like talking with humans, but I understand Hagrid is on decent terms with them. I’m glad you met Firenze. He is a dear friend of mine who helped me through a difficult time at Hogwarts.

I wouldn’t take anything the other two said personally. Centaurs generally aren’t sociable, but I’ve heard they’re more cantankerous than usual. The Ministry’s been pushing through new laws and restricting what lands they’re allowed to live on. Dumbledore’s been very kind to let them roam the forests around Hogwarts. And if you’re worried that they’re supporters of You-Know-Who, rest easy. Centaurs stay out of the affairs of humans, and if it came down to it, You-Know-Who would exterminate them. He was never fond of half-breeds in his regime.

Good luck in your exams. I’ve included some recipes for relaxation and increased concentration. They’re not potions, just teas with magical properties. So it isn’t cheating, and you should be able to brew them yourself. I think Ms. Granger might like to try them as well.

Love, Remus Lupin

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Mum and Dad

Exams are coming up. Hermione has made colour-coded notes for us and everything, so I think we’ll be okay.

Detention was fine. And I feel bad about losing the points for Gryffindor, but we were breaking rules for the right reasons, so I don’t feel bad about what we did. It was to protect Hagrid, and that’s okay.

But the Forbidden Forest is pretty terrifying. I was glad we had Hagrid. And we met some centaurs.

I’ll see you guys soon.

Love, Harry

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Harry,

Best of luck in your exams. I included some scones for a midnight study snack. But the best thing for you is a good night’s sleep.

Your father seems to think you must’ve had a grand old time in the Forbidden Forest. I think he and Sirius and Uncle Remus did a lot of illegal adventuring in their day. I hope you weren’t too frightened.

I’ve never seen a centaur. They’re supposed to be lovely. You’ll have to tell us all about it when you come home.

We’ll see you soon!

Lots of love, Mum and Dad

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

And somehow, they made it through exams. Voldemort never came pouncing out of any hidden doors, or ducked around dark corners. And no one fainted — though Neville nearly did in Potions.

Their last exam was History of Magic. Then they were free to relax beside the lake. At least, Harry and Ron were relaxing. Hermione was going over her notes, looking for the answers to all the exam questions.

“The 1637 Werewolf Code of Conduct wasn’t all that important, or Elfric the Eager.”

“The 1637 Werewolf Code of Conduct was revolutionary,” Harry said, “and it prevented hunters from coming after werewolves who abided by the rules. It allowed Werewolves to be treated like Beings and not Dark Beasts.”

“I know that,” Hermione snapped. “I just meant for the exam.”

“The exam is over. Why not just pay attention to the parts that matter?”

“Like the 1637 Werewolf Code of Conduct?” Ron laughed, and Harry’s ears burned, but he couldn’t explain to Ron why the Werewolf Code of Conduct was so important.

Harry sat up and rubbed his forehead. He saw Neville, Hannah Abbott, and Susan Bones coming down the path. He had barely spoken to Susan this year. He wondered briefly what her exams had been like, then pain shot through his scar.

Harry groaned and laid back down in the grass. “I wish I knew what it means! It happens sometimes, but not as often as this.”

“Maybe Madam Pomfrey will know what to do,” suggested Hermione.

“I’m not ill. Maybe it’s a warning. I think it means danger’s coming.”

But it was too hot to convince Ron and Hermione to do anything. They told him he was just stressed from the exams, and that there was no sense worrying with Dumbledore around. And that they at least were sure Snape didn’t know how to get past Fluffy, since he’d failed last Halloween. Quirrel hadn’t helped him; it was only Hagrid who knew about Fluffy, so there was nothing to worry about. Hagrid would never turn against Dumbledore.

Harry jumped up so suddenly, he startled his friends. “We’ve got to see Hagrid right now.” He walked so quickly towards Hagrid’s hut, his friends had to jog to catch up with him.

“Don’t you think it’s odd,” Harry explained, “that what Hagrid wants more than anything else is a dragon, and a stranger turns up who just happens to have an egg in his pocket? How many people wander around with dragon eggs if it’s against wizard law? Lucky they found Hagrid, don’t you think? Why didn’t I see it before?”

“What are you talking about?” Ron groaned as they approached Hagrid’s hut.

Hagrid was sitting outside, enjoying the sun, and smiled pleasantly at the trio. “Hullo. Exams all finished? Want ter stay fer tea?”

Ron started to accept, but Harry interrupted. “You know that night you won Norbert? What did the stranger you were playing cards with look like?”

Hagrid scratched at his beard. “Dunno. He wouldn’ take his cloak off. It’s not that unusual. Yeh get a lot o’ funny folk in the Hog’s Head — Mighta bin a dragon dealer, mightn’ he?”

“Did you talk to him about Hogwarts at all?”

“Mighta come up. Yeah… he asked me what I did, I told ‘im I look after the creatures here. I said I’d always wanted a dragon egg. He kept buyin’ me drinks…. I told ‘im after Fluffy, a dragon’d be easy.”

“And did he seem interested in Fluffy?”

“Well — yeah. How many three-headed dogs d’yeh meet, even at Hogwarts? So I told ‘im, Fluffy’s a piece of cake if yeh know how to calm him down. Jus’ play a bit o’ music and he’ll go straight off ter sleep —”

That was all Harry needed to hear. He ignored Hagrid shouting after him as he headed up to the castle. “We’ve got to go to Dumbledore. Snape has everything he needs to get into the dungeon and the Sorcerer’s Stone.”

They started up towards the Headmaster’s office, but they were stopped at the stairs by Professor McGonagall.

“You wanted to see Professor Dumbledore?” she said with a frown. “Why?”

“Er — it’s a secret,” Harry explained weakly.

She raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. “Professor Dumbledore left ten minutes ago. He received an urgent owl from the Ministry of Magic and left at once for London.”

“He’s gone? Now? But this is important!”

“Professor Dumbledore is a very great wizard. He has many demands—“

“Professor McGonagall, it’s about the Philosopher's Stone —”

Professor McGonagall dropped all of her books to the floor in shock, and did not even stoop to pick them up. “How do you know —”

“Professor, I think Snape is going to steal the stone and I’ve got to tell Professor Dumbledore.” McGonagall’s shock gave way to suspicion. “I don’t know how you found out about the Stone, but rest assured, no one can possibly steal it. It’s far too well protected.”

She refused to listen to any more of the stories and explanations, and the three were forced to retreat to their common room in defeat. Harry whispered to them that he was sure it would be tonight that Snape went to steal the stone.

“But without Dumbledore,” Hermione said, “There’s nothing we can do about it.”

“I can steal the stone first,” Harry said, green eyes determined.

“You can’t! You’ll be expelled!”

“You’re mad if you think you can do that, mate. There’s a whole pack of enchantments protecting the stone.”

“So what?” Harry shouted at them. “How do I make you guys understand?” He lowered his voice so the rest of the common room couldn’t hear. “If Snape gets the stone, Voldemort comes back. You’ve all heard what it was like when he tried to take over. There won’t be a Hogwarts left. He killed a lot of people and I won’t let it happen again. Not when I can do something about it.”

Harry thought maybe this was what Firenze meant when he said there was something horrible in his future. He was going to face Voldemort for the stone. Well, it was that or do nothing, and if his parents, Sirius, and Uncle Remus had taught him anything, it was that doing nothing was just as bad as going dark.

“Yes, you’re right,” Hermione said very quietly.

“I’ll take the Invisibility Cloak so I don’t get caught.”

“Is it big enough to cover all three of us?” Ron asked.

“You don’t have to come —”

“As if we’d let you go alone.”

“How do you think you’ll get to the Stone without us?” Hermione sniffed. “I’m going to go through my books for some useful spells.”

Harry’s chest swelled. He hadn’t thought they’d help him. It’d be dangerous, and maybe they didn’t understand, but it would be wonderful to have someone with him. Wonderful to have the two people outside his family that he trusted just as much.

#harry potter #harry potter everyone lives au #harry potter and the philosophers stone #hp fic #hp everyone lives

2 notes · View notes

ember373 · 4 years

Text

Poke Poke...

July 24, 2020 5:17 pm

Last night was hard. Really hard. I could relay the immediate events that led up to it, but really it was a culmination of things. Where do I even begin? Last week the out of town in laws were in. Which wasn’t bad. I like them. But that means family gatherings and trying to make sure everyone is getting along and are my kids being brats or are they behaving? It’s exhausting. But every time I see them, it’s a reminder of how enmeshed I am in the family. How they rely on me for certain things. How, if anything were to happen, I think they would be pretty sad. FiL likes to talk to me about politics and I help get it out of his system and then rein him in and remind him of any positive and hopeful things. The sisters rely on my understanding and my discipline. The Mil relies on my help to mitigate everything and pitch in where I can. And of course lately, the oppressor keeps telling me how I’m his rock and the only one in his corner and he couldn’t do any of this without me. Once upon a time, I would have enjoyed that. I love to be useful. I love to be relied upon, needed. But it’s hard when it’s not a situation you don’t want to be needed in. Sure, I have grand dreams of remaining friends and after the dust settles maybe we could be one of those families that can actually get along and attend things. But those are only dreams. And the reality is that I wouldn’t only break one person’s heart-I would break countless others. The weight that I bear, that lies heavy on my heart day in and day out, just became that much heavier.

I’ve been trying not to think too much about it. It shouldn’t really matter if I’m not planning on doing anything anyway, right? But it makes me feel that much more guilty for desperately wishing there were some way I could get out. But where I was only looking at one heart (well, 4 if you count the chillins) and figuring out how to support it (them), now there’s like 16. It’s daunting. So I’m feeling the weight in my chest even more now and trying to ignore it and pretend that it’s allllll just fine.

On top of that, I had gotten a hold of Dev. I was really worried about him. I don’t know what kind of support network he has out there, and I don’t know if his dad checks up on him that often, or what. All I know is that I still care and I would want someone to check up on me. I should realize by now that not everyone is as needy as me, but I still feel it deeply-that feeling of needing to know someone cares. And if I can offer that to someone, shouldn’t I? This is part of what makes me look so crazy to everyone else. Look clingy. I mean, I can be clingy, but mostly I just really care about people and want them to feel what I don’t really feel-loved. We talked a bit back and forth, but it was mostly surface talk and ghosting still. He let me know he was safe tho, so I felt better. At one point he asked me how I was and when I asked him how he was, he sent me a link to a song. It was a Spanish song where the very first lyrics heard I could loosely translate to kiss me first (it’s actually Kiss me baby, like the first time). Looking up the translated lyrics, it’s about kissing a woman and the romance around that. Hard not to read into that. I played it off and told him it was a catchy tune. But maybe he sent it to the wrong person or sent the wrong link? He tells me no, I sent it to you. Then he mentions it’s in the top 40 Latin charts. Ummm...ok. :/Then he asked if I had Rona and disappeared.

Which brings me to yesterday. I had a pretty busy schedule, but it’s not something I haven’t had before so I just took each thing as it came. I was a little tired of the Dev yo-yo so I sent him a voice recording after my therapy appointment. I was being lazy and didn’t want to type out a text. I basically told him that whatever it was in me that was really attached or whatever finally broke with that last little interaction. I told him about how I used to think he was Khalid and that now he’s the Weekend. Doesn’t give a fuck. That if he wanted to text, I’d respond. We both know that I’m not very good at leaving people, only driving them away. But, hopefully, I wouldn’t be as invested in the results and go crazy. Again, I didn’t think I’d really hear from him. (I have to note here that I sent that voice memo at 11:11. Not on purpose. If it was the universe talking to me, what was it trying to say? For some really weird reason I felt like the Universe approved. Which is weird. And I’m not going to think too much about it. Because really...the Universe approves? What the fuck ever man...) Then I get phone calls. But no messages. I call immediately back. Straight to VM. What the heck? At that point I’m irritated and my next couple of texts say as much. Then he’s like why so rude? I butt dialed you. Freaking A.... And, again, I got too emotionally invested and let him get to me. He must be laughing his ass off. I’d like to think he’s not doing it on purpose, but there’s always that chance, you know? And the deep dark ugly whispers that it is so.... I apologize. THEN, he tells me he’s Khalid. Ummm...no. Not to me. He’s Abel. He says he gives a ton of fucks. Yeh...to EVERYONE ELSE. I told him as much. He laughs and calls me mean. That was the end of it. So I’ve got that going on yesterday-giving me all sorts of confused feels but I’m like whatever. Can’t dwell (even tho I totally do).

So, I go about the rest of the day, still low key thinking about Dev (sooooo irritating). But I’m a bit out of sorts and emotional. Then it was evening and I was walking upstairs and ...poke. I hate that. I can’t even explain how much I hate it and feel so helpless and angry, but instead of getting mad I try to laugh it off and say something like knock it off. It has almost become a game. I do something that annoys him and he pokes me in the boob. I know he thinks he’s entitled. But. He’s. Fucking. NOT. If I’m not fucking him, why the hell does he think I want him to touch my boobs? It’s worse than the low key feels he does with the back of his hand just brushing agains my boob. It’s replusive. It feels so violating and I just want to yell and beat the shit out of him, but I know the fight it would cause if I even mention it, so it’s one of the ‘allowances’. A brush here, a poke there, him poking my butt with something that isn’t his finger as he slides behind me (with plenty of room to NOT touch me btw). But I’m getting pretty tired of the ‘allowances’ just to keep peace. Just to keep it going. And something inside me breaks. Not like it did with Dev, where that was more breaking bonds until I have so many walls up I won’t be interesting to talk to anymore. It was something deep in my soul that just sort of snapped. I had people to put to bed and children not yet asleep, so I pushed it deep down and went about the routine. Watched some dramas. Then a little past midnight I decided to go to bed. Laid down and then I just...wept. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop it. Then I couldn’t breathe so I sat up. And I just kept crying, muffling my sobs in my blanket so I wouldn’t wake anyone up. Trying not to make any sound at all and ragged breathing as I stifled the cries within. It faded and I sat there. Numb. Then I though ‘I’m so tired of hurting’, and it began again. This time a small sound escaped and I shoved my face in the blanket and fought to breathe as my body just shook. And whenever I shook, it was like the tears wouldn’t really come, but the moment I slowed my breath down, they just sort of leaked out and down my face. This happened like 5 times over the course of maybe an hour? I would calm down only to get hit with just this immense wall of sadness and despair and longing and dejectedness. I was tired of hurting. Tired of being lonely. Tired of feeling so alone. Just wanting some sort of connection that could me just the tiniest bit of joy. Over and over I just keep thinking throughout these last months (years?), what the hell did I ever do wrong in a past life time to deserve this? What grand lesson was the universe trying to teach me knowing that I was absolutely breaking in the process and just didn’t want to live anymore? Didn’t it know I can’t take this? That every day I would think of various ways to end my life, always discarding them one by one because of the pain or suffering they might cause other people. The trucker or other driver that would hit me, the rescuer that would find me...I would think ah! Just go for a walk and fall off a cliff into the ocean. No one will find me! Then I’d think of the pain my kids would feel. Over and over. And all the while I’m just internally cursing the damn universe for thinking I could ever ‘learn’ the lesson. In order to be free I have to stand up for myself. I have to use my voice. And hurt other people. I just can’t do it. At least 16 people for one person’s happiness? My happiness? Who said I even deserved happiness? (I know I do, but it sometimes takes a while to circle back to that point). I’d rather sacrifice the one for the happiness of the many, especially if that one is me. I can handle it right? (Obviously not very well...) I sat there, in the dark, for a very long time. Just broken.

We all hear of the fairy tale of a woman meeting her prince and getting married and having kids and living happily ever after. A lot of people don’t get that fairy tale. My fairy tale is the tale of the depressed housewife who just dreams of feeling like someone out there cares for her. Like you see in dramas, where the man and woman are friends and become closer and there is a love between them but they don’t act on it because they try to be good people. And the man knows that acting on it might hurt the woman even more even tho it’s what she desperately needs. So they just be there for each other and support each other and lean on each other. But that’s not reality. Humans are greedy and when they see something they want, they try their best to have it. Whether it’s just for a night or for eternity. After the night they sate their lust and move on. And, well, we all know that eternity just doesn’t stop. So it’s trash or prisonor. Or, sometimes, both. Fairy tales are lies. Happily ever after is a lie. At least, for some people it is. My favorite saying is ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys’ to remind me to stay out of other people’s drama and not make it my own and stress about it. My next favorite saying has become ‘Not everyone gets a happily ever after’ to remind me that sometimes it’s just futile to hope for anything more. To dream of anything else. Sometimes, it’s just better to accept the situation and try to make the best of it. Right? I mean, isn’t it like the relationship between good and bad? Where you don’t truly know what’s good until you’ve experienced the bad? Maybe it’s a yin/yang thing? Some people have to be unhappy to make way for others to live in bliss? (I know, I know, bullshit...) I keep telling myself that, have been telling myself that for the last year or so. But, I just can’t make myself believe it. My dilemma was, and still is, how do I love myself? How do I love someone I constantly see people throw away and find value in that trash? Now my dilemma is how do I make myself okay with this? How do I get rid of all these useless desires and hungers and feelings and longings? It always goes back to digging my heart out with a spoon. Another favorite saying. Why can’t my sayings be more positive ffs...

It felt as if all these emotions and feelings and useless thoughts just kept building and building and building. Dev cracked the walls. The poke just made them burst and let everything spill out. I wish I could let it wash away like water coursing down a valley to sweep away whatever feelings I have inside and just leave...nothing. But my water isn’t made of droplets, it’s made of jagged shards of metal. And my heart is the magnet. And once the damn bursts, my heart slowly collects them all back up and starts to hold on to them again. Trying to build the walls bigger. Thicker. Trying to last longer until the next inevitable break. Or poke. I guess I really am like the damn breaking and the water spilling through and coursing down the valley. It doesn’t really leave nothing. It doens’t clean anything. All it does is leave an ugly mess. And mud. And yuck. And sticks that poke like the oppressors fingers. >.<

(Finished at 11:29pm)

0 notes