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laniemae · 24 days

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Could John start hurting himself in trial 3?

TW FOR SELF HARM

So I’ve got a lot of theories for trial 3 and stuff but this is the one I want to talk about first since it was the one that stuck out to me most yet I haven’t seen people talking about the possibility

I actually wrote about this theory quite a while ago which I’ll just link to but I definitely do think it’s very likely but hasn’t been discussed much.

For a brief summary of the post I made it’s a theory on how John may have self harming desires but doesn’t physically hurt himself as he’s afraid of hurting Mikoto. Basically it’s how the reason why Mikoto’s clothes are so tattered is because John has been ripping them apart in another way to harm himself but not physically hurt Mikoto. Heck, there’s very clearly bite marks on the clothes so I highly doubt it was from the fight with Kotoko. And as well as just ripping his clothing it probably explained the breakdowns John is said to have at night especially in that one minigram where Es heard on it and there was a lot of crashing sounds and stuff breaking, even ripping sounds which definitely matches with what I was saying. So John does all of this in a method to self harm as a stress reliever but not physically harm Mikoto.

So here’s the trial 3 theory. As of recently Mikoto has stopped denying John’s existence as everything he’s seen in heard it’s just too much for him to deny anymore. And instead of that he’s began to hate John so much and blame him for every bad thing that’s happened, even going as far to blame him for what happened to Mahiru even though it was very clearly Kotoko’s fault. And with John, he loves Mikoto. Dedicates his entire existence to him and despite all the constant trauma and suffering he’s endured the only thing that keeps him going is the possibility that Mikoto will love him and praise him for saving him.

“Hey now, I saved you, right? So why in the hell are you crying?

Cling to me, hoist me up as your "savior", stand up and sing out your gratitude, that'd be good.”

Judging by these lyrics, it seems John is somewhat aware that Mikoto is denying his help but still wants to believe it. Even Neoplasm he says how Mikoto’s entrusting him with his heart, which can either be he doesn’t fully know about the hatred or is denying it. But what I’m really worried about is how much Mikoto loathes John in trial 3 and what he could do.

As I said earlier John dedicates his existence to Mikoto and I couldn’t explain how John may feel after he would realise his hatred for Mikoto aside from his entire existence being denied. I already discussed this in another theory but for John to so deeply love Mikoto and dedicates everything to protecting him and only holding on with the possibility of approval and being told he did a good job, only to be met with unimaginable hatred from the person who he idealises as someone who could never hate anyone must be devastating on so many levels for John and… you can tell where I’m getting at here.

So what would happen next? Could perhaps John feel so betrayed by Mikoto that he could go to actually physically hurting himself out of conflicting feelings around Mikoto? Loving him like that but feeling so betrayed and hurt that he just tries not to care about Mikoto any more and harms himself out of both previously established coping mechanisms and spite?

It’s hard to tell here, as John is one of those characters who it’s very hard to predict what would happen next so who knows what he might do. I just believe this may be the most likely based off things that have been implied and established.

And just to address a potential elephant in the room is I highly doubt John would disappear in trial 3. That’s not how it works, and just because Mikoto may not be Guilty any more doesn’t mean he would be relieved from all stress so John definitely would still have his purpose. And I think it’s most likely why John claimed that he would disappear was that he believed Es hated him and wanted him gone, so he claimed that he would disappear if Mikoto were to be voted Innocent as a way to sway Es to that verdict. And there are lines such as “I’ll play dead even if I’m alive right?” And “can’t get rid of me now” that definitely imply that he will stay or perhaps pretend to go dormant which perhaps would be interesting as we’ve seen him masking as Mikoto in the minigrams before so it would be interesting if he does that in trial 3 perhaps. And side note even though this is kinda cheating theory wise but it would be stupid to remove John from the story like that so uhhh.

#milgram #mikoto kayano #John kayano #john milgram #tw sh #tw self destruction #I just wanna say I’m sorry for bringing up such a dark subject matter like this in a theory sense #It’s just when writing about the darker themes in milgram I always get scared I’ll offend someone by how I talk about it so sorry #But trial 3 is certainly gonna be crazy #This theory is one I’ve had for a while and thus easier to write but I’ve got a lot planned #Like it definitely seems like how in trial 2 kotoko was the main antagonist/one causing conflict and it definitely seems #That in trial 3 amane will fufill that role #Which I mean I am uhh really exited about that because Amane’s my favorite and I love character who fuck up everything #But from everything we’ve seen the whole thing with fuuta and Shidou she’s going to be the one starting the whole chain of events #And there’s definitely a lot of theories on people who could suffer or be injured because of everything #Definitely Haruka but that would be from himself #But from the amane thing potentially Shidou if she or fuuta attacks him #Maybe mahiru if Shidou can’t treat her if she’s injured which could be really bad I’m actually very worried for her #And fuuta if he goes too far deep into the ideology and actually takes off his eyepatch but that’s kinda hard to predict #And as I said it’s definitely likely that mikoto would be hurt but at the hands of “himself” rather #And with kotoko I have absolutely no clue how she would react to the guilty verdict but that unpredictably makes it more exiting #I’ll have to talk about kotoko and the others in a separate theory because it’s so complicated but aughahhan hiatus brain no #And kinda off topic with the mood that I’ve kinda set with this post #But looking and analysing the lyrics of meme and double for this post #I found it pretty funny how John is actually really affectionate when referring to mikoto #Like of course the “snuggle together and say good night” lyric which is funny because how that does not fit John normally but does make sen #And in double he uses words such as basically “welcoming home” mikoto and in those freeze frames whispers of good morning #Which one again is really funny as edgy boy misanthrope John has said almost uwu fanfiction stuff canonically #But it totally makes sense to his character which makes it all the more funnier but kinda fucked up as from what I’ve said in the post #Why am I talking about something funny like this? Maybe I’m just too worried about talking about dark subject matters I’m sorry

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astranauticus · 10 months

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𝘚𝘤𝘢𝘳-𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴

#rolling with difficulty #vrla rwd #mrsn rwd #rwd starship #shoutout to fall out boy for writing lyrics that absolutely slap with no context i guess #get it. do you get it. cuz mechanites don't dream (starts sobbing)#something something the least mrsn could ask for is for vrla to remember him fondly and he can't even do that bc all his memories are gone #also yes it's a stylistic choice to draw mrsn as the starry apparition here but it's also absolutely bc the apparition is easier to draw #ITS SO FUN. i just do a white outline with a little gaussian blur then go to town on the starry background #between the astral sea and the mrsn ghost i just keep having to draw that kinda starry background and i have lots of custom brushes for it #and it's just. so much fun. just slapping colours and shinies on the canvas like a small child #the original idea i had in my head was significantly less... close contact but then i looked up couples dancing pose refs on pinterest #and got the fucking gayest reference image ever so here we are #WALAO TUMBLR MOBILE FUCKED UP THE RESOLUTION AGAIN NABEI #art I made

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reji-z · 4 months

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Alright, finally I was able to write something after a long time of a writers block, also this is the first time I upload my stuff to tumblr so yeagh.

For a little of context this is in the spirit's eve of the second year.

It's also up on Ao3 here

First night

The meet-up at the saloon after the spirit’s eve festival is your favorite part of the holiday, everyone is in a good mood, belly full of Gus’s food and some are even slightly drunk already, some as in Shane and you.

You started getting closer to him this past month mostly because of your regular stops at Marnie’s ranch regarding your animals, although it’s hard to say if at some point they were more for catching up with Shane than anything else.

In the beginning it was just about the chickens and whatnot, but eventually you started to talk more, about other stuff, hanging out once or twice and just getting to know each other, and the more you knew him there was this weird feeling about him swelling up deep inside you, a feeling you were trying to hold back as much as you could.

But none of that matters right now, you are sitting next to him at the bar with a couple of empty glasses between you, in silence, just enjoying each other's company.

“So… today was fun, spending it with you, I mean” You break the silence, looking at your finger as you trace it on the rim of your empty glass and rest your head on your free hand “I … kinda have to go now, it’s getting late and i have to get up early tomorrow you know”

Shane turns his head at you way too fast, almost as if your words activated a directive on him “Can I go with you” As soon as the words leave his mouth he realizes what he just said and turns his head away, looking in front of him, at the shelves filled with bottles “I-I mean, if you want to… ”

Was the blush on his cheeks from embarrassment of asking if he could walk with you or just because the saloon was warm from all the people in it, probably the second one, right?

“Uuhhhh… Yeah, why not” you try to not make it obvious that the idea of walking with him late at night excites you, but it feels like your tone betrays you, and if he was more sober, he probably would have noticed.

It takes a while of sitting in silence before any of you finally gets up to actually get out of the establishment, he did first, and you followed him behind only standing by his side once you were both outside.

“So, your place first?, since it’s closer” You ask while turning your head to look at him.

“Sure” He turns to look at you too, and you can’t help but to stare at him, those weirdly charming green eyes draw you in, sitting above eye bags that seem to be permanently glued to him and below some of the prettiest eyebrows you’ve ever seen, and the way the light of the saloon windows lights up his whole face is close to divine, of course he noticed you were staring, and lifted his right eyebrow curiously, breaking you out of your trance and making you whip your head away, feeling your cheeks warm up as soon as he lets out a chuckle “Let’s go”

It was nice, really nice, not only because of the pleasing night breeze, nor the euphoria of the alcohol, but also because of him, walking by your side, it just made you feel happy, somehow, for some reason, a reason that honestly you didn’t want to get into right now.

It… was a short walk, way shorter than you expected, or wanted, now both of you under the ranch’s doorway, lingering, looking at each other, hoping to make these few seconds last an eternity, hoping to burn them in your mind to be able to recall them late at night, hugging a pillow on your bed that felt a little bit too big and too lonely for just one person.

At least that was your reason to stay there, leaving you wondering about why he was still there, why isn’t he turning the doorknob and entering his home to call it a night, why is he also looking at you, into your eyes, maybe he is also—no, that’s a dumb idea, he’s not into you like that, you guys are just friends and—

“Uuhhmm…. do you want to hang out a while more?” What? “I mean, if it’s not too late for you” What? “We can go to the pond right here or something” WHAT? Why is he asking to spend more time with you, and why does he sound nervous, and is he blushing? “Actually never mind, forget I said anything” shit, you are taking too long to answer and he’s backing up, it’s now or never.

“NonoIwanttodothat” shit, too eager.

He smiles, he doesn’t do that a lot, especially if it’s for other people, his smile gets bigger, you feel your heart skip a beat.

“Sooooo, to the pond it is” he says while still keeping eye contact.

“Actually I know a place” Do you?... Oh yeah you do “It’s this small part of the forest with a pond that’s hidden away, it’s pretty nice”

“Really? That sounds perfect, lead the way” another smile, you can feel your insides stirring around from the mere fact of him smiling because of you, wait, perfect? Why would he say that? No time to think about that though, he said yes, and soon enough you were walking to the secret woods, trying to not make too much noise, as if worrying about the critters noticing you.

Once you reached the path leading to the pond (and certain primate statue that you forgot to tell Shane about) you heard him gasp.

“Wow… I’m surprised I didn’t know about this place” He says while looking around.

“Nah, not really, it used to be blocked by this huge log of hardwood”

“And you cleared the path yourself?”

“Y–yeah” for some reason it’s kinda embarrassing to admit that, you don’t really know why

“Heh, you must be pretty strong then” huh? Is he… flirting? Probably not, ignore it.

It didn’t really matter that you didn’t answer, you were already standing in the entryway to the clearing, not really being able to see much in the dark.

“Wait here” you said before walking towards the torches you’ve left around the pond to light them up and returning to his side “So? What do you think”

The torches themselves reflected on the clear waters of the pond, the images flickering from time to time thanks to the movement of the fishes below, their light shining into it and making a faint glow all along the shore, and in turn, reflecting into Shane’s eyes, making their color shine brightly, pairing well with the greenery around you.

He turns around to look at you, his eyes still glistening, open more than usual “It’s really pretty” your heart skips a beat once again, you feel your cheeks start to burn up, he’s got to be flirting, right?

“I-I know right” you start walking towards the east side of the pond, hoping he didn’t notice your reaction “Come, let’s sit”

He followed behind you and placed himself to your left, as you lowered to start untying your shoes you hear him let out a scream and jump in place.

“FUCK! What IS that!” he points to your right, into the dark, and you don’t even have to look to know what he saw to start laughing at him, making him turn his head to you with a puzzled face “Why are you laughing?”

“Sorry…” It’s hard to stop the giggles to form a sentence “…It’s just an old statue of a monkey, i forgot to tell you about it”

He drops his arm and relaxes, lowering to untie his own shoes “God, it scared the shit out of me”

Now both of you had your feet inside the pond, swaying them back and forth, sitting next to each other, your hands so close together yet not touching, keeping just enough distance to not make things too awkward.

“So, what’s that statue doing here?” He asks while looking at the woodskips swim circles in the middle of the pond.

“No idea, it has a plate saying something about a search for something sweet” now you are looking in the direction of the statue, just barely being able to make out its shape, no wonder he got scared, it really looks like a monster from here.

“Huh” It’s all he says back, now both of you fall silent again, still the nice kind of silence, the one where the mere fact of you sharing this moment encompass any words anyone might be able to muster, the kind of silence you didn’t realize you were yearning for, the kind of silence that feels just right. “You know…” he breaks it, making you turn your head to him “… It used to be boring around here…” now he’s looking at you “…but you managed to change that”

“Y-yeah, well, I kinda need a change from my old life and…” now his fingertips are touching yours “…t-the whole farm in a small town seemed like that change”

His fingers are getting closer and closer to yours, getting on top of them, moving around playfully and so are yours, sort of intertwining them in a dance without rhythm, it feels nice.

Once again you find yourself staring at his eyes, and by god they looked even better now, you feel like you could just stare at them all day, stare at him all day, his eyes, his eyebrows, his hair, his nose, his cheeks, his… lips, at this point it was pretty much clear that you liked him, there’s no point in trying to shove down those feelings anymore, at least not now, not when his hand is on top of yours, his eyes fixated into yours, his whole body turning to face you as his left hand raised to hold your cheek.

Wait, you quickly glance at his hand with your eyes and then back at him, he’s still looking at you, and gives you a little smile, what is going on, weren’t you supposed to just hang out, what happened, when did this happened, how did it happened, does he really like you as well? If he didn’t then why would he be—

Your train of thought ends the instant his lips meet yours, you didn’t even notice him getting closer, fuck it, it feels nice, you close your eyes to properly enjoy it, his lips are soft, more than you’d expect from someone that is always drinking at least, they are also warm, sharing their heat with you, spreading it trough your whole body and converging in your chest, warming up a body you didn’t even notice was cold.

It really couldn’t get better than this right?, the guy you like kissing you in a secluded spot in the forest away from prying eyes and only both of you to bear witness to a thousand years old demonstration of one’s affection for someone else, wrong, it could get better, and it did when you felt his tongue poking at your lips, asking for permission to explore further, to feel more of you, and who are you to deny such kind request.

His tongue was slow, careful, maybe he was nervous, how couldn’t he, he’s been making all the moves since the beginning and you just can’t have that now, can you? So you took the lead this time, pushing your tongue into his to make it retreat into his own mouth to let you move around, faster, more aggressive, more needy, as if you’ve been craving for this since the very first time you arrived in town, which you may or may not have.

Your tongues were not the only thing moving around, you feel his right hand move from on top of yours to land at your knee, slowly moving up, gripping your leg at times, making you get more into the kiss, but this feels a little bit too much, too far, especially when he reaches your thigh and gets dangerously close to your crotch, a feeling that makes you break the kiss abruptly and lean back, both of your eyes opening as soon as the contact breaks, and what you see is Shane with a worried expression in his face, an expression that makes your heart sink, you hate that look on him and you hate even more that it’s because of you.

“I–I…” you finally open your mouth to say something “…sorry, It’s just–too much”

“Shit, sorry…” he looks so guilty “…of course I would go and ruin things right? God I’m so stupid”

“Nonono, It’s…” the words seem to be harder to come up with now, the whole build up of the feelings and alcohol catching up with you “…I like it, but not right now, not here” it kills you to say no but you really don’t want that “It’s fine, really”

You move closer to him, making him look in front of him once again so you can lean on him, your head falling slightly on top of his, trying to really show him that it’s okay and you are not mad.

He sighs, leaning more into you and, once again, sharing each other's heat, your bodies taking part of this give and take of energy.

“I guess we feel the same way then” you whisper, not looking at him.

He chuckles “I hope so, it would be really awkward if we didn’t” his comment making you chuckle too, this guy, you swear to god, but that managed to ease the mood, now both of you reveling in the comfort of knowing that your feelings were reciprocated.

But alas, no matter how sweet new love may be, it is still not sweet enough for a certain someone in a quest that didn’t seem to be any closer to end.

#reji writes #Shane sdv #i actually had fun writing this #wrote most of it between yesterday and today after having like one page of it laying around for at least since december #also if shane is out of character no hes not i just get him better than you /j #if there are grammar errors or such im gonna use the good old english isnt my first language to not worry about them #i did proofread it tho #also i dont really know if i actually did but i kinda try to make the farmers gender as ambiguous as possible #idk why i just like doing that ig #maybe to make it easier for the reader to immerse themselves or something #whatever #sdv shane #shane stardew valley #stardew shane #stardew valley shane #thats gotta be enough shane tags right?

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that-one-enby-ranger · 5 months

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Ranger Gathering Assessment thingy.

I don't even know if I'll be able to explain this mu AU properly, because I'm shit at explaining things.

So it's kind of like a modern day AU, mixed with the Ranger's Apprentice time period. Also I don't know if anyone else has an AU similar or not.

I like the time period that the books are set in, but there are still modern day things I want them to like, because I like coming up with movies and shows and books and music and stuff like that on what I think each of the characters would like because it's fun.

So in this kind-of-confusing-I-can't-explain-things-well-AU, it's a mix of both the book's time period, and modern day shit.

So basically they still live in Araluen, they still have castles and knights and rangers and all that stuff. The setting is all entirely like it is in the books. But modern day things exist, like TV's, music, phones, plushies and shit, books that you get now instead of the books you'd get back then.

And if you want to go one step further, sometimes I imagine there being a portal, that leads them from Araluen into modern day England, so that way they have access to both places, but they were just born in their timeline and have their setting, but can still have modern things and can go to modern day.

Typing this out I realise it's not actually that confusing, and I'm not that shit at explaining it, it's just kind of stupid. But I like it because it means I can still have the book's setting, which I like, and also headcanon the characters liking certain modern things that I also like to make them more relatable for me. That's why I say a lot that Halt loves Queen. Because I love Queen. Also I generally think if he actually listened to music he would listen to them.

I have heaps of headcanons for this AU, like some OC's that are from England and modern times, but still friends with Halt and Crowley.

Also in this strange AU Halt has a pet tarantula named Alastor because I said so.

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findafight · 1 year

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Miraculous au

"before I start it's important you know this wasn't my fault."

Well. His Kitty sure has a way of setting him at ease. "You know that's probably the quickest way to get me thinking it's definitely your fault?"

Grimalkin sighs and plops, not ungracefully, beside him. "It really isn't. There are few, if any, things I could have done differently to prevent this, Red."

Red Scarab raises his eyebrow. "Oh? And what is "this", kitty cat? Leaving me in suspense isn't gonna help you if it actually is your fault"

He rubs his face in his hands, pinches his nose too. It's a habit Red Scarab has watched him do a dozen or two times by now. He's frustrated and probably embarrassed. Damn. "My best friend knows who I am."

"what? How!? You know our id-"

"she figured me out!" Grimalkin doesn't even make a pun of it, his nose scrunched and cheeks red. "She just. I rescued her, and instead of calling me 'grimalkin' or 'grim' or even 'malkin', she says "bye, my actual real first name"! I almost brained myself tripping when I heard her."

Eddie tries to steady his breaths. Okay. Alright. He wanted to be the first to find out Grim's identity, wanted to maybe be the only one who knew, but fine. He could share. They could work with this.

"how'd she know? She see you transform or something?"

Grim chuckles. Which, rude. This is pretty fuckin serious, little kitty cat. "She said when she saw Grim on tv he seemed familiar, then he kept being familiar. How he moved, talked, smiled. Something niggling at the back of her mind when she saw the heroes of Indy. Then, when I rescued her, it clicked. Suddenly whatever magic the miraculous puts around us to conceal our identities faded, and all she saw was me, her best friend, in silly cat ears and a mask. Saving the city."

"I find the ears charming." Red Scarab finds them absurdly cute, actually. But flirting with his kitty is for later.

"thanks. And that's it. She just. Knew. Saw right through me"

"you trust her?"

Grimalkin nods. "More than anything. I doubt anyone other than her could figure me out, anyways."

"yeah?" A bitter swoop of jealousy tangles itself in Red's stomach. Grim's voice is filled with unabashed fondness when he speaks about this nameless girl. He trusts her more than anything. More than red?

"well," he starts, as though reading Red's mind "maybe the same as you. In regards to my own health and life. I dunno. It's different with you. You're my partner." And ain't that just the sweetest thing? Grimalkin might be in love with some other mystery boy, might be so close with his best friend she saw through ancient magic to his core, but whatever is between them is special. Is different.

Flying above Hawkins, their borough of Indianapolis, bonds them differently than the others. Sure, Grim has friends and a potential boyfriend (as much as that pains him to think of) in his civilian life, and even a best friend who knows about his secret, but they'll never be his partner. Never have the same connection to him as Red does, saving the city from a superviallian. Red Scarab will hold onto that and keep it close to his heart for a while.

Grim nudges their shoulders together. "I really am sorry, though. You deserve to know who I am too. R--my best friend would probably get along with you like a house on fire, I'm a little worried about you meeting" and there he goes, saying such nice things. Acting like them knowing each other's identities and being ingrained in each other's civilian lives is an inevitability. Eddie hopes it is. The people his kitty loves seem, from the sparse details he's shared, quite bizarre and friendly and lovely. They must be, if Grimalkin loves them so.

"yeah? Think I'd recognize you out of the mask?" He says, instead of I hope so, I'd love to, I want to see all of the people you love and love them too.

He laughs. "Probably not. Hopefully not. Don't think I could handle knowing more than one person can see through me so well."

"would you recognize me?"

"no." He says it immediately, and it hurts, just a little. Like being dismissed. (Grimalkin doesn't mean to hurt him, he knows. Thinks the flirting is just for fun, a game, and not Eddie desperately trying to win the heart of a man whose goodness and snark and exasperation and humour stop him short and steal his breath away.) "I don't think so. The Miraculi magic is supposed to protect our identities, and once someone knows, they can see the overlap. Only someone who really, truely knows you and is looking would be able to break it. It happened to me because we have legitimately thought about the pros of combining into a blob person. I don't think many people are actually like that. They certainly don't seem to get me and --and my best friend." He shrugs again. "I dunno. That's what it seems like, anyway."

Grim grins at him. "Wouldn't be very magic if I just saw you walk into work one day and blurt out 'Red Scarab? Is that you!? I'm the guy in a catsuit you beat up supervillains with!' Would it?" If that happened Eddie would probably name it the single greatest thing to ever happen to him, actually. Second only to finding Tikki in his backpack after Hellfire a few short months ago. But his kitty is a romantic, and if he wants a dramatic, heartfelt reveal, then Eddie won't push it. They've got time.

#steddie #steve Harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddie miraculous au #stranger things au #finda writes stuff #stobin #basically a direct sequel to robin finding out hehe #the love square...my beloved #its sorta reverse lovesquare but thisnis how it originally starts for them #also hawkins is now a Burrough or neighbourhood of Indianapolis to make it make sense #like there are only so many people in small town that could be the evil guy. a city is required.#finally decided steves hero name is Grimalkin. which basically just means cat but its kinda cute for him i think :)#tbh night crawler would be good and i was so mad because like. he couldnt. he couldnt name himself after an x man. no.#eddies was so much easier.

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hum--hallelujah · 6 months

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the duality of my Dr. Benzedrine is that he's incredibly effective and ruthless at what he does (saving lives, need not concern himself with the consequences as long as the subject/victim/patient is still alive by the medical definition of the term) and he's terribly smart and has a great sense of humor, but he's also a rather confused, genuinely brain-damaged individual. like. he's scary when he's in his element, but when he's not, he sometimes can barely string a full sentence together, has panic attacks over loud noises, etc

#he is not a savant btw I kinda hate that trope. he's INCREDIBLY intelligent but the brain-to-mouth connection just doesn't... work.#the head injury itself would have probably resolved itself for the most part but there were chemicals and experiments involved #and it just means he's... really shitty at language and communication. if he's not thinking too hard about it it's easier!!#the more he thinks about it/tries too hard the worse his speech is #which is why he sounds more coherent when he's working- his mind is on what he's doing instead of ''Have To Talk Right''#which allows him to. talk better.#the panic attacks thing tends to be either because 1) unfamiliar things like fireworks etc. or 2) sound sensitivity flare-up #...in a way I think he might be a very autistic little guy. but I'm not sure. I don't really know how to portray that #it's interesting trying to write a character who's whip-smart and clever and sarcastic but Can't Speak Properly #does any of this make sense??#she speaks!#ddas

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objectosexual · 2 months

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I truly envy the people who can make their objectumsexuality poetic cuz any time I try to say anything meaningful about the objects of my affection, my brain stops working and all I can muster is "uh... car sexy :-)"

#then again i could write paragraphs on clippy and clockboy buuuut they're characters #(well. clockboy kinda is)#so it's easier to romanticize them blah blah blah #maybe one day ill write abt my old car in a way that is artistic...& not just 'i miss him. he was hot. he saved my life. and we had gay sex'

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on-leatheredwings · 3 months

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#i have got to write damian meaner #hes so fucked up #i just enjoy how utterly romantic he'd be as well #but next fic ill do a meet-ugly or him being stunted romantically #in false pretenses was kinda writing from the perspective of uve changed him so much #hes halfway to being a Normal boyfriend #aside from being insane and Yandere #as i play w the idea of writing a series #itd probably be dick reader damian #but damnnn idk how id portray that rs on dick/dames side #it may be easier to do all bat boys PLEASEEE #well. dames and dick are p close i see a possibility

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2hoothoots · 2 years

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Have you ever heard of the concept of "reparenting the inner child"? I'd like to imagine that Raz's archetypes can be physical manifestations of that in the literal sense, like seeing his older archetypes comforting his inner child whenever some unpleasant childhood stuff comes up

oh, i hadn't but that's an interesting concept!

i think with the Inner Child, though, it's almost the other way around? like, one thing I do want to clarify is that I'm not trying to make out that Raz had a particularly terrible childhood, because I don't love the implications of that tbh. instead, the Inner Child is more a safe way for Raz to express his feelings without a filter, and almost kind of like a proxy for self-care? one that was inspired by his meeting with his younger self in my fic. hold on i think i can draw it better than i can explain it in words

#it's cos he finds it easier to take care of other people than he does to take care of himself #so self-care is easier if it's directed at someone who doesn't look like him as much. someone he can distance himself from #which. wow that's kind of tragic when i write it out. but hey it works!#uh but yeah. Raz's issues aren't because he had a bad childhood #like they're Informed by his childhood in some ways for sure but. the key thing i want to stress #is that his family wasn't lacking in love and support #i'd say Raz's current issues are more just that he works a very demanding dangerous high-stress job #where a lot of bad things happen to him and the people he cares about on a fairly regular basis #and his coping mechanisms for that are Not The Greatest #future superstar agents au #fsau raz #his face kinda got away from me in this one i should not draw when i'm about to go to bed.

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waywardsalt · 1 year

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i have planned to write a pseudo-essay or some kind of detailed look at linebeck in phantom hourglass and how he can be interpreted as autistic but thats not going very well right now so here are some autistic linebeck headcanons

He has low empathy and as such has a hard time responding very well to emotional situations, but he can take advantage of his lower empathy in situations where empathy could make things harder, like tending to wounds or rationally handling emotionally-charged situations

His coat is a comfort object and he made it specifically to act as a very slight accommodation; it’s heavy and barely lets any light through it, and he can keep all kinds of little things in pockets sewn into the inner lining, but larger objects do make it more uncomfortable to wear at times. It’s mostly good to carry around things to fidget or stim with and can be helpful in trying to recover from overwhelming sensory experiences

He doesn’t usually stim in public, but taps his fingers on tables quickly and tends to rhythmically snap his fingers when excited, and on his ship is more vocal and more willing to stim, even if around others. One of his main stims that he’ll do for no particular reason is that he’ll hold his arm or back of his wrist/hand up to his nose and mouth for the smell.

He masks frequently to please people. His default mask is that arrogant and brave front he puts up for islanders and other he may come across. Usually, if that mask doesn’t work, he tends to double-down because it usually works and, in his experience, dropping the mask has usually gone badly (non masking he’s rude and blunt but more outwardly excited about adventure and his ship and all of that, i consider it where overseas in the game is when he usually isn’t masking. this shifts his arc to be about him learning to stop masking and feel comfortable being himself)

His special interests could include stuff related to treasure hunting but it could really range from stuff about adventuring or the ocean or engineering (relating to his ship) to stuff not at all touched in the game like music. He really enjoys music, listening to it, playing it, and writing it. He also enjoys and is fascinated by shellfish.

When busy or otherwise occupied, he doesn't usually notice when he's hungry. He doesn't have as much of a problem noticing thirst or exhaustion, but feeling hunger is a problem for him, and often leads to him going a long time without eating. On the other hand, he doesn't mind eating the same thing repeatedly and is perfectly fine with blander foods, so handling food supplies for when he'll be overseas for a long time is easy for him.

He knows he's autistic, he's known for a pretty long time, and he has books on it; he also knows that Link is autistic, but doesn't say anything about it and instead waits until someone else tells him. Until (and after, I suppose) Link actually learns that he's autistic Linebeck just makes sure to keep note of what accommodations he might need and if there are any textures or tastes or smells he can't stand. He doesn't have much of a problem helping out during sensory overloads, even soon after meeting him. It's more out of understanding how it feels to not have your needs met and a sort of solidarity rather than actual friendship.

#loz #legend of zelda #phantom hourglass #linebeck #OBVIOUSLY he experiences some nasty rsd and he's a bitch about it that's like. basically canon so i didnt mention it #a lot of linebeck’s autism is based and referenced off of my own with some extra additions #which is why i have an easier time writing him as autistic than link #kindness is a choice and having low or no empathy does not in any way make someone heartless but linebeck does abuse his own low empathy #to be a mean bitch with minimal emotional consequences #i think linebeck would call link a dipshit to his face and then not feel bad about it for like a few weeks until he starts caring abt him #linebeck stimming by smelling his arm is actually my main stim. its probably why i sit all fucked up bc i sometimes do it w/ my legs lol #the masking bit does kinda fuck some stuff up but i personally enjoy that take on him #one of his comfort objects is an old orange cat plushie named copernicus and if you know what that is specifically from thank you im sorry #linebeck being way into music has no canon backup i just like the idea of him playing piano and composing some form of his own theme #piano is a mad sensory experience btw i dont yet know how to really play it but when i did keyboard in pit it was a fantastic feeling #bangin' out the tunes. it was a really good sort of stim if i was feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the new tech and music too #salty talks #not entirely an autism headcanon but he thinks gender is a sham and less identifies as a man and more specifically considers #his gender identity to be 'real man of the sea' which is initially kinda silly but kind of a fucking gender move tbh #i dont think he's explicitly trans or nb he's just having fun fucking with his own gender and doing whatever he feels like doing #he isnt a man but he is a man. kind of like how im a dude but also not. yeah.#these were initally going to be call 'quick' headcanons but you can see why i uh. didn't end up going with that

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nouearth · 4 months

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is it weird to use random actors as gifs as a stand-in for a certain character? like say i use a gif of an actor who has never played bruce for a fic, hc, or other stuff. 🥺 i'm running out of photos to use for fics and stuff, so that's why i'm asking! i tried doing fics with no photos, but eh, i don't think it hits the same, lol.

#✰ : nou.rambles #idk i kinda wanna try it #just because it'll be easier for me to find photos or gifs #like i don't really have a specific bruce in mind when i write him?#i usually opt for dan mora's bruce because urgh i love him #buuuuut i'm starting to run out of pics #and i feel like if i use bale bruce or pattinson #then i'd have to restructure the personalities of the bruces a bit???#idek

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lolliichop · 2 months

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today i talked to a friend about voltron and what. what if i. want to retry writing shiro now. even if no one ever writes sci-fi roleplay.

#↳ out of character ›#I JUST. I LOVED SHIRO SO MUCH. and was so inspired for him and just never could write him sobs.#i think he kinda falls under the same umbrella handsome jack is - sci-fi is not an easy genre to write and roleplay doesn't make it easier #but i. love him so much. and could make AUs for him?? i might make it work?? M. MAYBE??#my attempt at not making other blogs until this one is completely done is slowly slipping away.#( also! give me a moment to relax after work and then i will TRY to write. probably will jump between here and the horror hub! )

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transfemzedaph · 6 months

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for the spotify songs #17 and if you feel comfy/can write for him pauseunpause. but if not, etho would be great <3

ough i wish i could write for pause </3 team canada beloved

Whoever's uniform you wear, No loyalties to hold or share, No burning hate, no bitter fear, No heart to break, so shed no tear

---

Etho wasn't sure how to deal with being bonded to someone else, let alone that person being Joel. He had to trust Joel completely, he had to stay by his side. Sure he could do what Cleo had done, maybe join her, he'd be safe from Joel; he was a formidable foe when he wanted to be. That wouldn't feel right though, Etho wanted to give this a chance, to trust wholeheartedly.

#original post tag #ask tag #apollo u chose. a difficult song tbh jdbdjdndj #still easier than the olivia rodrigo songs that got choswn bddndbd #i hope this is good i dont have ethos vibes down completely in my brain #alos. pretty sure the semi colon use is correct. if not dont come at me my english teachers were mostly garbage #and i had like 6. within like 5yrs #this kinda. is the opposite of what the lyrics i chose as the like prompt but also whatever. my writing. i do waht i want #and /he/ does trust him #he doesnt believe impdubs when they say all that stuff #they even joke about it later!!!#if this is incorrect im.sorry ive only watched joels dl pov and like some of uuuh impulses? or bdubs? i dknt remember jdbdjdhjd #writing tag

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bravewolfvesperia · 5 months

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/ realized I forgot to put this in my bio and will add it later but

heads up that my Yuri is a combination of JP Yuri and dub Yuri, but primarily JP. there's a whole lot of nuance to Yuri that got left out of the dub (and seeing as he has waaay more content in JP due to the vast amount of crossovers/Tales crossovers/gachas he's in, it's a lot easier to keep Toriumi's take on him (and in depth understanding no less!) in mind). overall you get the same general person, but the dub left out a lot more his casual/playful side in vocal tone, preferring to go for the "edgy cool adult" concept despite, well, the JP version of him intentionally being quite opposite.

(on another note, context I use for Yuri involves nuances found in the drama CDs that are a condensed retelling of the game (before some original stuff) as well as his childhood novel which has voiced dialogue for his child and teen years. this post covers the game, but a lot of (especially internal) stuff for my muse may be heavily affected by his backstory too which is unfortunately completely absent in the actual game itself)

there's also a lot of back and forth between him and other characters that really lost their depth in the dub (ex. Yuri being much more gentle and soft with early game Karol when Karol was convinced nobody would believe him and that he was a failure, or his banter with Flynn being a lot more relaxed and significantly less annoyed with a better understanding of each other). I'll be retaining anything the dub yeeted out for whatever odd reason regarding his relationships.

(one particular grievance of mine is in the Flynn jailbreak scene, where Yuri is basically saying "you're just dying to abandon me" and Flynn starts off with "that's right" before basically saying the same thing - i.e. they both know it's not true and Flynn is going along with it because That's Them, to which Yuri responds with a solid and fully accepting "yeah" (no hesitation, no concern over it, as he prioritizes Flynn's life over his own).

another extremely strong grievance I have is the port scene - oops also with Flynn - where he's basically holding back tears asking for answers in desperation, which was extremely if not outright completely lost in the dub where he only sounds angry and not just utterly hurt. dub Yuri? I could believe he might kill Flynn if it came to that. JP Yuri? forget it, he would hold back at the last second and couldn't go through with it. that's genuinely the level of difference that was present between both audios.

that said, I love Troy Baker's performance itself - I just think he was unfortunately deeply incorrectly directed for several of his major scenes, and also unfortunately, some of those cases were involving some of his most important relationships)

if any of y'all play Vespy any time soon, I fully recommend giving it a shot with its original context at least once (if you're playing the DE version there's an option for JP audio)! even if you don't understand JP, at the very least the tone won't be lost on you! from what I've heard apparently there wasn't much communication between the directors on both sides, so a lot of Yuri got lost in the localization (and Karol's screaming is glorious in JP lbh).

tl;dr Yuri really is just a silly little guy and he's really not that cool or serious. he's a dork. he's a dummy. and he's easily embarrassed about it. get deep enough into his feelings for Flynn when they're not in a life or death situation and he'll completely cave in embarrassment.

#{ bravewolf mun }#/ honestly it's also easier this way bc Vesperia has A FUCKING TON of side content #but Yuri in particular also does and a gigantic chunk of it is /voiced/... and we don't get that side content in the west #as a side note Yuri even has a ton of small breaths/sounds he makes in JP around his dialogue that got lost in the loc too #there is a lot more going on in that silly little brain than I feel the loc let on #also he's way more pouty in JP and that's automatically a win with me for him LOL #but yeah we get so much side content that like... I probably haven't even gotten through all of it yet #I'm in the process! but I still have not cleared Everything yet (it rly is a lot!). it just kinda automatically adjusts my brain to JP Yuri #bc it's what I hear constantly when I indulge in non-game content for him #and honestly there's enough content out there for Yuri that I'd sooner trust Toriumi's thoughts on Yuri #than I would anyone else except the lead scriptwriter for Vespy #bc he's been voicing Yuri content THAT MUCH for THAT LONG #I would kill to pick Toriumi's brain about Yuri bc he's done an INSANE amount of vocal work for him #that said when I write I do hear a combination of Troy and Toriumi don't get me wrong (Troy's performance is stellar w what he was given!)#it's just that I'm including JP exclusive nuances to my muse that may come across as like #“wait that wasn't in the game was it?” but like yeah it was the loc just whoopsied a lot on Yuri /

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