HIII ERMM its kinda stupid but i wanted to ramble again. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FLUFFY BUT. my brain dont work that way. COME EAT YOUR GHOST ROACH SOAP ANGST PEOPLE!
Cw// Mcd mentions! Suicidal thoughts but its very very subtle ? I’m sorry im still not good at giving cws :”)
A bullet.
He rolled it around his fingers, watching it shine under the moonlight. Smoke of the cigarette he had between his lips was covering his view a little, but it was alright. The ash of it was also getting ready to drop and it was okay too.
Simon was sitting alone, lost in his own thoughts.
He thought about many things, the lives he took for missions. Thought about the men who begged him not to kill them, telling him they had a ‘wife and children’ back at home. Now just rotting where he shot them, died with the memories they could create.
He knew it was an easy trick in the book.
Look eye to eye with your murderer, tell them about your life, your family, get an opening from them. They are only human after all.
Simon often seemed to forget about this fact. With the Skull mask he put over his face to create a wall between him and others, he also put a wall between himself and the humanity he allowed himself of.
When it came to work, he was just renowned Ghost. Not Simon.
But now, with his mask rolled up his nose just enough to uncover the tip of his nose and lips, he also allowed the humanity sneak its petty way into his mind.
He thought about Soap. His boyfriend.
His stupid mohawk, his smile, blue eyes, his smell. Body so warm against his own no matter the situation or weather. His laugh and accent chimed its way into his ears just from his memory.
He thought about Roach, his other boyfriend.
His soft face, mischievous smirk, his hands, pretty scars covering around his body. The grunts and hands moving so fast to sign also chimed its way into his eyes just from his memories.
Simon took another puff off his cigarette, not bothering to shake off the ash building.
He thought about the men mentioning their life again. Wife and children back at home.
He thought if he would ever be in the situation they were in.
Would he mention Soap and Roach ? Tell his soon to be Azrael about his loves and ask, beg for forgiveness.
The bullet he was rolling between his fingers shined under moon again.
He didn’t know. He didn’t know the answer of his own question to himself.
He knew he probably wouldn’t talk if the situation came to it and take his death honorably.
He just wished to see and hear his boyfriends just like he did now, once the situation came to it.
Bullet shined directly into his eye this time, making him slightly flinch.
And oh,
The ash had fallen just on his lap, where the dogtags of his lovers shined.
Gary ‘Roach’ Sanderson and Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish.
He selfishly wished that moment to come soon. So he could meet with his lovers again.
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