#If this guy is not autism coded I don't know what it is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whataperfectwasteoftime · 10 months

Text

Spilled Ink

Pairing: Tattoo Artist Marcus Pike x f!reader

Word Count: 7.5k

Summary: Uhhh Marcus Pike as the world's softest tattoo artist that's it that's the fic.

Warnings: Lots of tattoo talk, obviously, which includes needles, tattoo guns, pain, mention of bleeding, etc.; reader is explicitly coded as neurodivergent because I said so; yearning; lots of kissing; Marcus Pike being a goddamn menace and he fucking knows it

A/N: @kedsandtubesocks made a post about Tattoo Artist Marcus Pike (original post HERE) and then I wrote 7.5k words in 12 hours, as one does. All credit for the idea goes to the amazing Erika who entrusted me with this idea and THANK GOD SHE DID because I don't think I could have gotten it out of my stupid brain otherwise. Header pics credit go to Erin @perotovar, who made these with Tattoo Artist Marcus Pike in mind and I'm just WOOFWOOFBARKBARKBARKBARKHOWL. Thanks also to @littlebirdsbookshelf who suffers through HOURS of me sending screenshots every time I write anything. Love you <3

Additional Note on Canon: I am pretending that we never got to see Marcus Pike in short sleeves in the show despite it happening twice. He has full sleeves on both his arms in this fic that he covered up during his time working at the FBI. Because sleeves are hot and I said so.

Masterlist

It’s not unusual, these days, to wander down the sidewalk staring at your phone. Some people are texting. Some people are reading the news–because hey, this is D.C. Others, like you on this brisk morning, are watching the little blue dot on a tiny representation of the city streets, trying to find the address you had typed into the search bar.

A text box pops up, informing you of your arrival, and you finally look up.

No wonder it took you so long to find the place–it’s hardly what you expected at all. You always picture tacky neon signs, bars on the windows, undesirables milling about on the street, smoking cigarettes.

Okay, so you admittedly don’t actually know much about tattoos.

All you know is that you want one–a fact you confessed to a friend over lunch the other week: a conversation that led you here.

“Okay, so get one,” she had said bluntly.

“It’s not all that simple,” you had protested.

“Why?”

“It’s just… it seems like a lot. Mentally. Physically. I’m not sure I have what it takes.”

“They don’t hurt that bad,” your friend had insisted.

“I’m not just talking about that, I’m talking about… y’know, just everything. The noise. New people. Strangers touching me. It just doesn’t seem like something I’ll be able to do.”

“Oh. Ohhh. Because of the… yep. Actually I might have something for you,” she said, taking out her phone and scrolling through that app that drives you crazy–it’s overstimulation in a convenient package–full of noise, chaos, and flashing lights.

She must have seen you pull a face, because she held out her hand placatingly.

“Just finding the name of the place, hang on. It’s a shop right here in DC that went ‘viral’ for this video of a guy with autism who wanted a tattoo to commemorate his dad, but he was only comfortable lying on the floor–so the tattoo artist just… got on the floor with him! It was really cute, and anyway I guess he caters to all sorts of people, so… I dunno. Check it out.”

And here you are. Checking it out.

The words “Government-Issued Ink” are spelled out on large windows, and the punny name–apt for its location not far from the Capitol–makes you snort.

The shop is bright, warm, and inviting–tearing down your outdated preconceptions that tattoo places must always be run-down, dark, and dingy. It’s also empty this early in the morning, save for a lone figure in the back, seated at a well-worn desk, his head pitched forward over his work.

He’s so enveloped in whatever he’s sketching that he must not have heard the light ringing of the bell as you had entered. You watch him for a few moments–taking in the graceful movements of his hand and the way his fingers grasp the pen. He’s dressed in a plain blue button-down dress shirt, which also doesn’t fit your assumed archetype of ‘Tattoo Artist.’ You can’t see his face; his head is leaning forward too much and a few short locks of dark brown hair obscure your view.

Suddenly wondering if you’re being incredibly rude, staring at someone without announcing your presence, you open your mouth to introduce yourself.

“Um.”

While not exactly eloquent, it serves its purpose. The man startles and looks up in surprise.

“I’m so sorry,” he says, jumping to his feet and letting the pen clatter carelessly to the desk. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“That’s okay,” you shake your head rapidly. “I was, um…” You blink a few times, your nerves getting the better of you as the man comes around his desk to approach the front of the store.

“Interested in a walk-in consultation?” he offers, holding out his hands in a gesture that could either be an open invitation or a shrug.

“I don’t know,” you confess quietly. “I was thinking about getting, uh, a tattoo, and I was told this shop was… good. With tattoos. And other stuff.”

“Other stuff?” he chuckles, smiling warmly.

“You know… with people who… might not be good at getting tattoos.”

“What makes you think you aren’t ‘good at getting tattoos?’”

“A hunch,” you shrug, expelling a little huff of laughter through your nose. “I was told to ask for a Marcus Pike?”

The man’s smile widens. “You’re looking at him.”

Oh. You aren’t sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this. Marcus Pike is well-dressed and clean-cut, almost startlingly so. You scan up and down, looking for any sign that this man could possibly be a tattoo artist, but the only evidence you can find is a small black target inked between his thumb and forefinger on his right hand. Don’t… tattoo artists usually have more ink? Of course, with him almost completely covered from head to toe, you obviously can’t create a full picture of Marcus’s skin, but the fact that he wouldn’t look out of place in one of the nearby government buildings still takes you by surprise.

You realize you haven’t said anything in response, but Marcus doesn’t seem to be bothered by your deer-in-headlights stare. Instead, he grins again and steps sideways, extending his arm in a silent invitation to come deeper into the shop.

“Come on in. If you’d like, go ahead and sit wherever you want, and we can talk about it. No pressure,” he promises. “I’m not here to push ink on you like a used car salesman; I’m here to collaborate with you. Figure out what you really want. And, if what you want ends up being ‘nothing,’ I totally support that, too.”

There’s something innate and intrinsic about Marcus Pike that sets you completely at-ease. You cast your eyes around, taking in the eclectic seating in the shop–all mismatched, all different colors, styles, and shapes, but all looking incredibly comfortable and inviting. You settle on a giant turquoise beanbag that seems to swallow you whole when you sink down into it, and Marcus grins and sits down in the bright yellow saucer chair beside it.

“So at the very least, you’re thinking about a tattoo,” Marcus leads. “Can you tell me about that?”

You nod, feeling encouraged by his openness. “Yeah, so… my mom, she passed away a couple of years ago, and it just seemed like I should… memorialize her in some way. Like, in a way that leaves its mark on me like she left a mark on me, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about the idea of getting some kind of permanent art that commemorates her.”

“That’s a great idea,” Marcus says softly. “Lots of people choose to do that after losing a loved one.”

“Yeah, the only problem is that I’m not good with um… noise, or people touching me, or… pain, really,” you confess. “I’m like, the worst candidate for getting a tattoo that exists.”

Marcus chuckles softly and shakes his head. “Personally, I don’t believe that. I think anyone can get a tattoo done if they want it, provided they get it done in a way that feels safe and comfortable.”

“My friend, she uh, recommended your shop because apparently you’ve done some stuff for people with autism and it went viral on TikTok…” you ramble, “and I thought maybe that meant you’d be a good fit for… for me.”

Understanding flickers in Marcus’s expression, and he nods, a small smile spreading across his face. “I hope so,” he says with quiet earnesty.

A beat passes–just a few seconds of silence–but something small and soft and warm settles down between the two of you, and the comforting feeling sinks down into the pit of your stomach and stays there, latent and waiting.

“So, let’s talk design,” Marcus announces. “Do you have anything in mind? Any images or ideas, however vague? I can do anything from replicating designs to building something completely from scratch for you.”

“I like the idea of it being a unique piece,” you tell him.

“I prefer original designs too,” he says. “Not to sound incredibly cheesy, but there’s no one like you, you know? In–In the general sense, of course.” He chuckles sheepishly, looking down at his hands. “I like knowing each person that comes in here leaves with something unique. Something all their own—I’m rambling,” he says quickly, the tips of his ears turning slightly pink. “One thing about me is that I talk too much. Anyway–did you have any ideas you can share with me about what you’d like?”

“I don’t have a good image in my mind,” you confess anxiously. After all, how can he build a design based on the swirling, disjointed images in your brain? “I think I want it to be colorful, like she was. And… I keep getting thoughts about, I dunno, the cyclical nature of life, something corny like that.”

Marcus laughs. “Sometimes the corny stuff is what sticks with us. So, colorful and commenting on the cyclical nature of life,” he lists off on his fingers, still grinning. “Anything else?”

“I’ve looked through your galleries online,” you tell him. “You have a few that look like watercolor paintings, and I really love how they look.”

He nods thoughtfully. “I’m gonna throw out an idea—Feel free to tell me ‘no,’ because I’m just brainstorming here, but I keep thinking about a tree of life. The leaves could easily be done in watercolor and could be any combination of colors you want.” His right hand twitches–as if reaching for a phantom pen–as he speaks, and his gaze seems to be fixed on a spot on the wall, his eyes glimmering with enthusiasm as he starts to speak faster.

“You could have the leaves and the roots connecting on the sides, making a circle, maybe even having her birth date and death date embedded in the roots…” He blinks rapidly a few times, as if dispelling the image from his head. “Anyway. That’s a possibility.”

“I think that’s amazing,” you say softly, watching Marcus with something like amazement in your expression. “Actually… I really like that idea. It sounds… perfect.”

“Oh,” he intones softly, looking at you in surprise as a bright, toothy smile breaks across his face. “Oh. Well then, let’s do it, huh? One final question: where do you envision getting it?”

“I was thinking on my shoulder. Here,” you indicate, pressing your hand to the skin of your upper arm. “That way it’s visible when I want it to be, but easily hidden if for some reason it needs to be.”

“That’s perfect,” Marcus says. “Plus, the circular design will go really well there. Okay. Great. Um, some things to know about the process. We’ll exchange emails, and you can contact me at any time with any questions, concerns, ideas, changes, anything. In the meantime, I’ll get started on a design for you, and I’ll share initial sketches that you can give feedback on before I move to the final stages of the design. It’ll take a couple of weeks, maximum, depending on any changes you ask for. My only request is that you’re always honest with your feedback–don’t tell me you like something when you don’t. I promise, it won’t hurt my feelings.” He grins widely. “After that, you book an appointment on a day that works best for you. I almost always book the whole day for the appointment to factor in time for copious breaks and making sure you feel comfortable. Does that work for you?”

You nod eagerly.

“Last question,” Marcus says. “Is it okay if I get a close-up picture of your upper arm? That way I can make sure it fits the curvature of your arm, it’s the right size, stuff like that.”

“Mhmm,” you nod again, pressing your lips together and trying not to look nervous. Thank god you wore a sleeveless top under your sweater.

“Only if you’re comfortable,” he insists.

“No, no, it’s fine,” you say quickly, removing just the one arm from your outer layer and pulling it aside.

You watch as Marcus grabs a little ‘point-and-shoot’ digital camera from his desk and comes back to your side.

“This is just used for design purposes,” he promises. “I delete them after the design is done.”

“I trust you.”

His resulting expression could light an entire room. “Thank you,” he answers quietly. “Okay. Super close-up, just your arm. Cool?”

“Cool,” you confirm, and you hear the camera click several times.

“Actually,” Marcus says, still staring thoughtfully at your bare shoulder. “Would it be okay if I made a couple of little marks–washable marker, of course–to make sure the dimensions are how you want them?”

Oh. You normally don’t like it when people touch you. You knew it was going to happen eventually, obviously, because how else was he going to get the design onto your skin? But it was something you had planned on working yourself up to, not something you had to do today. On the other hand, something about Marcus’s entire bearing makes you inexplicably ache to be touched by him.

“‘No’ is an acceptable response,” he interrupts your dithering with a quiet reassurance.

And actually, that works to seal the deal for you, and your decision is made in an instant.

“Yes. You can. That’s fine.” And, to your surprise, you mean it.

Marcus seems just as surprised at your answer–his eyebrows shoot upward almost comically at your response.

“Okay,” he says softly. “That’s perfect. Hang on.” He jumps up again to retrieve a black marker–from what was clearly a children’s set of washable markers. He meets your eyes, and again you take in that sincere, earnest, patient look that endeared you to this man from the moment you entered the little shop.

“Is it okay if I touch your arm?” he asks quietly, still watching you carefully as you nod.

“Tell me if that changes,” he murmurs, dropping his gaze to your shoulder again. His touch, when you feel it, is just as warm as you’d imagined. He’s gentle, cautious, and when he speaks again, his voice remains at that same, soft volume and tone. “I’m envisioning being from about here–” he makes a little black dot, “–to here. What do you think?”

You nod. It’s the perfect size–large enough to cover your shoulder but stopping just above the point where the sleeve of a regular t-shirt would hit.

“That’s perfect.”

“Okay, so that’s–” he tsks softly, measuring the distance with his finger, “–about four inches, so that same distance across, and–” he makes two more marks on either side of your shoulder. “About like that. Is that okay?”

“Yes,” you answer, smiling with enthusiasm.

“Great! Let me just…” Marcus draws a few short lines denoting the proposed boundary of your design, and you can’t help the soft giggle that escapes you at the cool tip of the marker on your skin.

“Sorry,” he chuckles. “One more picture?”

At your nod, the camera clicks one last time.

“Like I said, that’ll wash off with soap, no problem,” he promises with a smile. “Thanks for that, makes it easier to scale.” He grabs two business cards off his desk and hands them to you. “Can you write your email on this one for me? And you can keep the other one. Like I said, anything you need, just email me. And uh, barring that, you’ll be hearing from me in a week or so with a rough sketch. Okay?”

You scribble down your email and hand the card back to Marcus before pulling your sweater back over your bare arm. You slip the other card into your purse and rise to your feet. “Thanks,” you say, nodding to him.

“Hey, no–thank you,” Marcus returns. “Thanks for entrusting me with this. I mean it.”

Surprising yourself, you extend your hand toward him, and, when he takes it, you feel enveloped with warmth again.

“Thanks,” repeat, a little bit more breathlessly this time, before turning and hurrying out of the shop before you can embarrass yourself any further.

Your shoulder still tingles from his touch hours later.

Rather than it being a week before you hear from him, you receive an email from Marcus Pike just three days later.

Subject: Initial Sketch

Hello,

Please see attached. It’s just pencil for now, but I made a note of the general blocks of color I was thinking for the leaves. You’ll see what I mean when you open the file. Sorry, I know it’s a pretty rough sketch, I was just excited to get this to you. I look forward to your feedback!

Best regards,

Marcus :)

Eagerly, you open the attachment. First of all, there’s nothing “rough” about the sketch other than the fact that it’s just penciled in. The details are already so intricate, and you find yourself smiling in amazement as you take in the design.

It’s beautiful.

Brackets, each labeled with a different color in Marcus’s neat, tidy handwriting, surround the top of the tree. Red. Orange. Yellow. Green. Blue. Violet.

At the bottom of the image is another handwritten note: *All the colors will blend together and the result should look like a rainbow.

Tears spring, unbidden, to your eyes, as you feverishly type out your response.

Subject: Re: Initial Sketch

Marcus,

I really don’t know what to say other than it’s perfect. It’s absolutely perfect. Made me tear up. Look forward to seeing it in color.

Thanks again!

Not even five minutes go by before your phone vibrates with another email.

Subject: Re: Re: Initial Sketch

I’m sorry if I made you cry! Obviously wasn’t my intention but I’m glad the design evokes emotion :) I’ll move forward with the design as-is and you should hear from me soon with a full-color image.

Marcus :)

You can’t wait. The next week and a half stretches out excruciatingly, but finally, on a Wednesday evening, you receive another email.

Subject: Final Design

Hey there!

Hope you’ve been doing well. Thought you might like to see the final design of your tattoo ;) See attached and let me know if anything needs to be changed. Be critical! Don’t hold anything back! Once we agree on a final piece, we’ll get you on the calendar.

Best regards,

Marcus :)

Your mind skims over the fact that Marcus used a winking-face emoji in your email, because you honestly aren’t equipped to process that right now, and open the attachment instead. This time, you start crying in earnest. It’s perfect. The colors are so vibrant, and they make the tree look as though it’s in a constant state of movement. Your mom’s birth and death dates are entwined seamlessly into the roots themselves, in a way that makes them not readily apparent at first glance, but seeming to just appear out of nowhere upon further inspection.

Subject: Re: Final Design

Marcus,

If I had any critical feedback, I would share it, I promise. But I have nothing. This is everything I’d imagined and more, and it means the world to me.

Thank you so much.

After a few more messages back and forth, you settle on a date one month out.

You can’t wait.

As excited as you’ve been for the past month, when you step foot back into Marcus’s little tattoo parlor, the air of finality makes your body thrum with anxiety.

You’re really doing this.

Marcus is at the back of the shop, busying himself with setting up his workspace when you enter. Today, he’s wearing a dark green henley that looks just as soft as he is, and seems to complement his features even more. As soon as he hears the chimes, his head snaps up, and he grins widely.

“Hey!” he calls out excitedly. “Just getting everything ready. Do you want something to drink before we get started? I’ve got water, juice, soda…” he trails off, waving his hand in the direction of a mini-fridge in the corner.

“I’m okay for now.”

“Sounds good, but when we take a break, you should have some juice or something else with a bit of sugar in it, okay?” You nod, and he continues. “Okay! Where do you want to sit?”

“Don’t I have to sit in the chair over there?” you ask, gesturing to the traditional chair and bench near Marcus’s work table.

“Not at all,” he protests. “The table is mobile, I bring it to wherever you feel comfortable.”

“Oh,” you say dumbly. “I’ll go ahead and sit in the chair, though.” Of all the options, it looks like the easiest–you aren’t entirely sure how Marcus would be able to comfortably tattoo you whilst sitting on a bean bag chair.

“Your choice,” he insists, spreading his hands out in an open and unguarded stance.

You settle in the chair and he sits down on a rolling stool beside you.

“Okay, so I’ve got a stencil of your design here,” Marcus says, holding up a paper with an outline of the tree for you to see. “It’ll transfer onto your skin exactly how you want it to go, and I’ll just trace it. Make sense?”

“Yep,” you nod.

“Before I do that, though, I have to make sure nothing interferes with the design, including tiny little hairs.” He holds up a pink safety razor. “Are you comfortable with me doing this for you?”

At your tentative nod of consent, Marcus leans forward and gently swipes the razor up and down your shoulder until he’s satisfied. His eyes dart between your skin and your face the entire time–making sure you’re still with him. After he’s done, he talks you through the stencil–confirming its location, gently applying it to your shoulder, and then holding up a mirror for you to approve.

“It’s great,” you whisper excitedly.

Marcus returns your smile and begins to absentmindedly roll up his sleeves in preparation to start working–-and the question about tattoos that you’d asked yourself upon first seeing the man is suddenly and unexpectedly answered.

You can’t help the soft sound of surprise that escapes from you when you catch the colorful patchwork of designs on both of his forearms, disappearing under the pushed-up henley and suggesting that they go all the way up.

Marcus catches you staring and grins, his eyes sparkling with mirth.

“I didn’t know,” you say softly. “You keep them covered up.”

“Force of habit,” Marcus shrugs. “I had a desk job for a long time.”

“Doing what?” you ask, curiously. You can’t see the man doing anything but this.

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” he jokes, winking in your direction.

Ignoring how the wink makes your heart stutter in your chest, you bark out a laugh at his answer. “What? Were you like a secret agent or something?” you tease.

“Special Agent,” he corrects, grinning.

“Get out,” you deadpan. “I can’t imagine you as a Fed.”

Marcus shrugs, giving you another one of his boyish, crooked smiles. “Would’ve been fifteen years this year had I not finally seen the writing on the wall and run for the hills a couple of years ago.”

“What made you leave?”

He laughs softly, shaking his head. “That’s a long story. How sensitive are you to noise?” he asks, abruptly changing the subject.

“Uh, I dunno. Kind of depends on the day and the situation,” you shrug.

“Fair. Well, I usually let newcomers listen to what the gun actually sounds like, so there are no surprises. If it’s too loud, I do have noise canceling headphones.”

And miss out on hearing Marcus’s soft-spoken reassurances? No matter how loud the tattoo gun is, you’d rather endure it just to be able to hear him talk.

Marcus turns the instrument on, and the room is filled with a mild buzzing sound. On your worst days, admittedly, it would probably grate upon your nerves, but you’re feeling relaxed, comfortable, and excited about your new tattoo.

“It’s not bad,” you tell him truthfully.

“Perfect,” he grins. “Are you all set to get started?”

Heart rate increasing with pleasant anticipation, you nod giddily.

“I’m obviously gonna be touching your arm a lot,” Marcus says, “so let me know if you need a break from that, the noise, the needle, anything.” Seeing your solemn nod, he continues. “I’m gonna do a little dot right here to let you see how it feels, okay?” He gently touches his index finger to your skin to indicate where.

“Okay.”

The gun turns on again, and Marcus presses it lightly against your skin for just a second before pulling back.

“...That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“I thought it would hurt more,” you confess.

Marcus laughs. “Well, the same feeling over and over again in a small area can start to be pretty uncomfortable. I’ll check in regularly to make sure you’re still doing fine. Good?”

You smile widely. “I’m really excited.”

His smile softens, his gaze becoming warmer and more tender. “I’m glad.”

His other hand gently cradles your arm as Marcus leans in, a look of intense concentration settling over his features as he begins the design. Engrossed in his work, you take the time to study his forearms. They’re a hodgepodge of designs, clearly done at different times and by different artists, but you can see themes throughout. He likes classic styles, you can tell, and in between some of the more traditional works you can see beautiful references to an assortment of famous paintings. A Dali melting clock here. A sunflower clearly inspired by Van Gogh there. On his opposite bicep, you can just barely make out the side of one design that looks like it might be of a Greek statue. Tilting your head, you realize it’s Nike alighting on the bow of a warship, and you inhale sharply. That’s one of your favorite sculptures.

“Still okay?” Marcus asks, glancing up at you with concern in his eyes.

“Sorry.” You shake your head quickly.

“Just checking,” he says softly. “Try to be just a little more still, okay?”

“Sorry,” you repeat, laughing sheepishly.

“Don’t be, you’re doing great.”

You try to fight the way your entire body seems to grow warm at Marcus’s praise, but you can’t stop the way the feeling stampedes through you. You’re being ridiculous, you chastise yourself. He’s doing his job, and you’re getting all moony-eyed.

In order to distract yourself, you continue playing ‘Spot the Famous Artwork’ on Marcus’s sleeves–although, as distractions go, it’s not your best work. You can’t help but focus in on the way his forearm cords with muscle as he holds the tattoo gun, controlling each movement so delicately and precisely, creating a beautiful, intricate design on your shoulder.

After finding a bit of yellow patchwork that's clearly a reference to Gustav Klimt's The Kiss near his right elbow, you break your silence.

“You like art, huh?”

It seems like a stupid thing to say to a fucking tattoo artist of all people, and you immediately kick yourself internally for saying something so obvious.

Marcus glances up, and, seeing how your eyes are focused on his own ink, smiles. “Always have,” he murmurs, returning his gaze to your shoulder. “Some of those are years-old.”

“Is that how you got into being a tattoo artist?” you ask.

“Sort of,” he answers, brow pinched in concentration as he continues working. “I uh, apprenticed for a shop in college to pay the bills before going to Quantico for training.”

“You’re really talented,” you tell him. “I was surprised to find out you haven’t been doing this your whole life.”

Marcus hums his appreciation as he carefully fills in a root.

“Can I ask what made you join the FBI instead of opening your own place after college?”

He huffs a little laugh through his nose. “Parents would have killed me, going to college and then doing nothing with it.”

“Running a small business isn’t exactly doing nothing,” you point out.

“Well, public opinion on tattoos wasn’t what it is now,” Marcus says. “They were scandalized by my apprenticeship, but it paid the bills, so they couldn’t complain too loudly.”

“Was it them who wanted you to join the FBI?”

“Mm, not so much,” he murmurs. “It was more like ‘whatever you want to do, so long as you can make a lucrative career out of it.’ Being an artist wasn’t one of those things, so in lieu of becoming one myself, I decided I wanted to protect them instead.”

You scrunch up your nose. “Protect them how?”

Marcus grins up at you and waggles his eyebrows playfully. “Art crimes,” he answers. “Being an art detective was kind of in the limelight in the early ‘nineties after the famous Gardner Museum theft, and I got swept up in the craze.”

“So you spent the last fifteen-ish years recovering stolen art,” you fill in for him.

“Stolen, forged, looted, illegally traded or smuggled…” Marcus offers, not breaking his concentration again. He wasn’t wrong–the repeated drag of the needle across what felt like the same square centimeter of your skin was starting to wear on you.

“Uh-huh,” you say, forcing the discomfort out of your tone.

Noticing the tightness in your voice immediately, Marcus’s movements stop. “Feeling okay?”

You shrug.

The gun switches off.

“You gotta be honest about how you’re feeling,” he reminds you. “I might be able to create designs based off of customers’ vague descriptions, but that doesn’t make me a mind-reader.”

“It’s a little uncomfortable, but I can endure it,” you insist.

“There’s no need to endure something that’s painful,” Marcus argues with an amused smile. “Even if it involves choosing to repeatedly jamming a needle into your skin.”

You can’t help but laugh, and your heart swells when he joins you.

“C’mere,” he says. “Let me show you something.”

You let him lead you to the other side of the shop, where he stops in front of a large storage cabinet that you'd assumed held various supplies. When he opens it, however, you find that isn’t the case at all.

No, the entire cabinet is filled to the brim with a collection of stuffed animals just as eclectic and varied as the furniture. There's also a couple of shoeboxes filled with every manner of fidget toy you could ever imagine.

"You can grab one, if you want. I know it might feel kind of goofy, but I promise they help with the pain."

"Okay," you breathe. Your gaze lingers first on the IKEA shark, then on a very soft-looking cactus with an adorable grumpy expression, but when your gaze lands on the largest and arguably oddest toy in the collection, your hands can't help but move toward it.

"The big guy, huh?" Marcus laughs, taking the giant squid off of the shelf and placing it in your arms. You have to laugh at how large and ungainly it is; its massive black eyes stare vacantly back at you, but the effect is dopey, rather than menacing.

"Where do you get all of these?" you ask in amazement.

"Most of them are gifts from past clients, including that one," Marcus says, indicating the squid. "But I think he originally came from the Smithsonian. I was told his name is 'Cthulhu, Lord of the Deep.'"

"Thank you," you say in a small, appreciative voice.

"'S'fine," Marcus shrugs. "Feel up to continuing?"

You nod, looking down at your partially-inked shoulder. "Guess you didn't get very far before I had to stop," you remark, somewhat self-deprecatingly.

"It's not a race," your artist says earnestly. "We've got the whole day, and we go at your pace. You're paying me, after all." Another wink in your direction.

"Yeah," you nod, confidence growing again. "Yeah, okay." You plop down in your seat, with Cthulhu in your lap, and Marcus takes his place beside you.

“Gonna turn this back on again,” he announces as the now-familiar buzz fills the room, “and I’m gonna touch your arm–” his fingers wrap warmly and gently around your skin, “–annnd here we go.”

The needle scratches insistently against your skin, but it isn’t so bad–not really, not with the hilarious giant squid on your lap and Marcus’s gentle, soothing voice in your ear. He talks while he works, sometimes asking you questions about your own life–to which he listens intently and always seems to have follow-up questions–and sometimes telling you stories of his own. You discuss art, obviously, but also music, books, movies, and baseball of all things.

You find yourself wondering if he has this type of easy rapport with everyone who comes in, but you assume he must. He might be the most disarming person you’ve ever met, and it’s hardly a stretch to believe he’s like this with everyone. Still, there’s an ugly, jealous part of you that wishes the connection between you was unique, special. That he’s only this warm with you.

Marcus was right–squeezing the stuffed toy on your lap is a perfect distraction from the discomfort of the needle, and before long, the sensation fades into the background. As the time drags on, though, the persistent drone of the tattoo gun causes an ache to creep in and settle between your eyes. You take in a deep breath through your nose, count to three, and exhale slowly through your mouth.

Marcus glances up, watching you for a split-second before cutting power to the gun and stretching his back with a satisfied sigh.

“Break time,” he announces. “Hand’s getting a bit sore.” He shoots you a knowing glance and another one of those crooked smiles. “And you should probably have a little something to drink, maybe a snack.”

“Yeah, thanks,” you say gratefully as he walks over to the little fridge.

“Apple juice?” he asks, holding up a little juice box that looks slightly comical in his large hands. When you nod enthusiastically, he hands it to you.

His fingers brush yours.

If it were anyone else, you’d recoil, but it’s him. It might just be the forced proximity, but…

You’re developing quite the crush on Marcus Pike.

Shoving the thought aside for the moment, you stab the straw into the little hole and take a long sip. Marcus settles down beside you with his own choice–a little can of vegetable juice–and holds it up in a silent ‘cheers.’

Feeling emboldened, you ask the question that’s been burning in your mind since you started.

“So what made you leave the whole ‘helping other artists’ thing behind and start a tattoo business instead?”

Marcus presses his lips together, and for a moment, you fear you’ve crossed a boundary. Just before you’re about to apologize profusely, though, he speaks.

“Have you ever just… woken up one morning, and realized that everything you were working toward, everything you thought you wanted in life… was a lie?”

“I… I don’t know,” you confess quietly, surprised at the emotion behind his words.

“Happened to me,” he laughs softly. “I had moved to DC for what I thought was my dream job, with who I thought was–” he shakes his head, as though dispelling an unpleasant thought. “I had spent my entire life checking boxes: College degree? Check. Well-paying job? Check. House? Check. Check, check check. I spent so much time trying to get ahead, like life was some kind of game to be won. If I said all the right things, did all the right things, if I did everything right… I’d have the life I wanted.”

“What was the life you wanted?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper.

“It was bullshit, is what it was. Saw one too many rom-coms as a kid, I suppose. I thought I was after the picket fence, the dog, the wife and two-point-five kids, that sort of thing. And one morning I woke up, realized that… that relentless pursuit of something I couldn’t even hold–it was all bullshit.”

“So you just… quit?”

“I quit. I wanted to create things again. I wanted to feel inspired. After a bit of uh… frantic soul-searching before I ran out of money entirely, I sold my stupid, too-big condo that I hated and bought this shop instead.”

“Did it work?”

“Well, I’m not bankrupt yet,” Marcus says dryly.

“No, I mean… did you feel inspired again?”

“I did. I do. So very much so,” he says, his voice soft and gentle. His eyes flick up to meet yours, and that comfortable warmth that had settled in between you the first time you had met him… grows. Mutates. Until the warm, tingling feeling feels a lot more like electricity.

An unspoken moment seems to pass through you, but then Marcus clears his throat roughly, setting the empty can aside and standing again, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Wanna keep going?”

Breathlessly, you nod.

In no time at all, you’re settled back in the chair with one of Marcus’s warm, strong, large hands cradling your arm as the other gently wields the tattoo gun. As he starts to fill in and blend the colors, the pain starts to increase, and you worry one of the fuzzy tentacles back and forth in your hand as you grit your teeth.

“I know, I know,” Marcus soothes quietly. “The color’s the worst part, but you’re being so good for me.”

It helps you to watch him work, so you do. He’s blending in the colors now, and you watch with interest as it starts to take shape. It’s so mesmerizing that you hardly even notice the buzz of the gun or the light sting of the needle anymore.

“And you said you ‘weren’t good at tattoos,’” he teases gently, noticing your obvious interest.

“Did I say that?” you laugh, teasing back.

“I believe your words were, ‘I’m like the worst candidate for getting a tattoo that exists.’” he reminds you. “And look at you now, huh?”

You duck your head at his praise, unable to withstand the intensity and honesty in his gaze.

“Doing okay after all, I guess,” you say with a sheepish smile.

“You’re doing amazing,” Marcus corrects, smiling warmly. “The type of client any artist dreams of.”

You don’t know how to respond to the things this man says to you. Stunned and at a loss for words, you stare awkwardly at your hand where it still wraps around Cthulhu, Lord of the Deep.

“I’m sorry.” The words are soft, concerned. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just meant that your enthusiasm and your curiosity is the stuff that makes me want to be an artist in the first place.”

“Are you saying I inspire you?” you try to tease, but it falls flat.

Just audibly, over the hum of the tattoo gun, you hear his whispered response.

“Yes.”

As Marcus wipes away the last of the stray ink on the purple bit of tree, the tattoo gun suddenly switches off. The silence is almost shocking, and you blink rapidly in confusion.

“Break time?” you ask.

Marcus chuckles, the corners of his eyes crinkling with amusement. “It’s all done.”

“It is?” you ask, although you can see the answer for yourself in the large mirrored wall to your right.

“How’s it feel?” he asks.

“My arm kind of aches,” you confess, “but oh my God, Marcus… it’s beautiful.”

It’s his turn to preen under your praise, the tips of his ears blushing pink as he grins back at you.

“I’m glad you like it,” he says softly. “Here, let me give you a little something for the pain.”

He squeezes a glob of light-green cooling gel and coats the angry skin with the barest of touches. “Still okay?” he asks, glancing up at you for confirmation.

After the harshness of the needle, the soft press of his fingers is more soothing than ever, and you have to resist the urge to sigh and melt into his touch.

“Yes,” you whisper.

“You’re going to want to keep this covered for a couple of hours, up to overnight,” Marcus says as he carefully applies a dressing to your shoulder–still softly, but more businesslike than before as he walks you through all of the instructions for care. “Once you take this off tomorrow, you’ll probably see some fluid leaking from it–that’s totally normal. It’s blood, plasma, and extra ink, and it should stop after a few days before it starts to scab over.

“You’ll want to keep it from drying out; I’d recommend scent-free, dye-free lotion if you don’t already have some,” he continues. “Wash it twice a day and put lotion on after. When it starts to scab, I can’t stress this enough: don’t pick the scabs.” He gives you a serious look. “Repeat that back to me.”

“Don’t pick the scabs.”

“If you do, you could cause it to scar, or even pull out the ink. One more time for me,” he prompts, and you get the feeling that this is always the sticking point in his speech.

“Don’t pick the scabs,” you repeat.

“It’ll take three to four months for the lower layers of skin to completely heal,” Marcus tells you. “During that time, keep it out of the sun, keep it hydrated, and you’re in the clear.”

“And don’t pick the scabs,” you say teasingly.

Marcus winks at you. “Exactly. Any other questions for me?”

“No, just… thank you. It’s amazing,” you tell him. “You did such an incredible job.”

“Hard not to, when I have such a beautiful canvas.”

Your eyes dart up, expecting to see a teasing glint in his eyes, but all you can see is heartfelt sincerity. You swallow thickly, and he tracks the movement, his eyes dropping down, then back up to meet your eyes. Is it… not just you? Does he feel it, too? Realization slams through you and threatens to overload all of your systems. Marcus’s lips are parted slightly, and the look in his eyes… it’s desire.

“Marcus…”

“Wait,” he says urgently. “Hang on. Come… come over here for a minute, let me–” he dashes awkwardly over to the till on the counter and gives you your total. Frowning in confusion–he wants to do this now? Interrupting that electric moment that had passed between you?–you dutifully swipe your card and numbly take the receipt.

“Now you’re no longer my client,” Marcus explains softly. “I–sorry–I was about to throw caution to the wind and kiss you, and I didn’t… I didn’t want to be unethical, I–”

“Yes,” you say simply, giving your response to his un-asked question.

It’s all he needs to stride forward, gently take your face in his warm palms, and, seeing no hesitation in your eyes even as he searches your face desperately—presses his lips to yours.

The kiss is as soft and as tender as the man himself, which hardly surprises you. Your eyes slip closed as his lips move against you with aching caution. He’s careful in all things, including this–taking your cues, giving you the lead, letting you feel everything he’s giving you.

All too quickly, he pulls back–but his eyes only sweep your face again, a growing smile on his lips as he sees nothing but want reflected back at him.

When he lowers his lips to yours again, he’s less gentle. One large hand leaves your face too hook around your waist, pulling you closer, closer–and when the proximity causes you to gasp softly, Marcus is ready. His tongue gently slips between your parted lips and you practically melt into him. When your knees buckle, his strong arms are what keep you standing upright, and still–

He can’t seem to stop kissing you.

You break before he does–pulling back to suck in a few shaky, heaving breaths, and he smiles through his own labored breathing.

“I wanted–I–” he begins, before hastily pressing another kiss to the corner of your mouth as if he can’t help but do so.

“I’ve thought of you,” he tries again. “I thought of you like this for the last month,” the confession finally spills out. “I wanted to–wanted to kiss you so badly all day, but I couldn’t. Couldn’t let myself.” He kisses you again. “But now,” he promises, whispering the words against your mouth. “Now I’m gonna get my fill.”

To punctuate his statement with one of your own, you slant your head and deepen the kiss, wrapping one hand around Marcus’s neck and pulling him closer still. He makes a soft noise in his throat, and the grip on your waist tightens. You lose yourself completely to the feel of his tongue sliding slowly against yours, until he suddenly pulls back.

“I’m doing this all wrong,” he whispers–although he’s still smiling. “I wanted to ask you out to dinner, first.”

“So ask me,” you say with a giggle.

“Come have dinner with me,” Marcus murmurs, shaking his head in quiet amusement as he steals another gentle kiss. “Right now. Tonight.”

“You might have to open all the doors,” you tease. “My arm hurts.”

Another kiss.

“I’m wounded that you think I wouldn’t open every door regardless.”

“Are you always such a gentleman?” you remark with a wry smile.

Another.

“Well,” Marcus grins wolfishly. He places on last, lingering kiss on your lips and then makes a show of offering his arm. “Not always.”

#marcus pike #marcus pike x you #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x f!reader #marcus pike fanfiction #the mentalist #pedro pascal

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notquiteaghost · 1 year

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the thing about autism in fiction is there are autistic-coded characters, but then there are also accidentally autistic characters, and there is basically zero overlap btwn these. autism-coding is when a character is Weird and Blunt and Very Smart and Bad At Feelings and, at least in western media, probably a white man. your spencer reids and your L deathnotes.

but accidental autism is when you make up a guy and when you're deciding what they're like you pick several traits common to autistic people. and you don't mean to do this, and you aren't intentionally leaning on any kind of trope, you are just writing a person and sometimes people are autistic. you have met autistics, knowingly or not – maybe you yourself are an autistic, knowingly or not – so you know people are like that. you aren't making any kind of statement, you are just making a guy.

this post is about zuko of the fire nation. i know we know but hot damn that boy is diagnosable

#yelling at clouds #autism tag #like. in reference to my prior post abt what coding means #if you do it entirely on accident it's not coding. imo #and this isnt exclusive to autism this goes for most brain stuff #when it's mental illness it's fun cuz like. ok do YOU know that's not a good way to be #you have lit this house on fire. are you aware houses don't have to be on fire? etc #but anyway. way more people know what autism is than realise they do #if i ever went to a powerpoint party my topic wld be Oops! That's An Autism!

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anonymouspuzzler · 2 months

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you know what? fuck you (heartbreak gulch's my own guys)

(@heartbreakgulch courtesy of the inimitable @strangegutz & collaborators, also miscellaneous Thoughts under the cut bc it's my blog no one can stop me the doors have closed behind you)

HEARTBREAKER BULKHEAD:

Probably does not have superpowers anymore but still came from a family of considerable influence and was under pressure to inherit, pressure which he very much Broke Under.

Turned to a life of crime, definitely got in over his head with it, and essentially got rescued by Eddie, who he is Utterly Obsessed With And Heartsick For.

Has spent literal years as one of Eddie's attack dogs and generally jumping through hoops for him for Whatever Scraps Of Affection He Can Get, though he's still kind of squeamish around Literal Murder and thus tends to be assigned to supply runs and such most of the time.

Amateur mechanic and car enthusiast. Probably did a lot of McGyver-ass fixes around the Gulch-slash-generally assisted Ami til Davey was recruited.

Speaking of, was still the guy who recruited-slash-rescued Davey. They fell for each other hard and are in a committed relationship now, which has helped Buck take a little bit of a healthier step back with whatever the hell he and Eddie have going on (and helped him be a little less jealous and curmudgeonly about the Hot Young Things In Town, ie Zeki and Felix).

Absolutely not prepared to be a guardian to Minnie which has led his and Eddie's whole Relationship to enter a fun new stage of "hey man can I ask you for parenting advice nothing weird"

HEARTBREAKER DYNAMO:

Pretty similar backstory to the Villain-Coded version. Civilian turned criminal, lost his arm when he got in over his head on a job and Buck rescued him.

Has a bunch of different prosthetics he swaps out for different purposes, ie. one for combat, one to use for mechanic work, a kinda general use/everyday one, etc. That said, he goes without a lot to make sure he's prepared for a situation where he doesn't have access/one breaks or fails on a job/etc.

An alarmingly good recruit; I feel like originally Eddie kind of let him stick around as a kind of "gift" to Buck, but now that he's actually got him on jobs he's become a real rising star. Real good in a scrap and is a little more flexible with his moral lines in the sand compared to Buck. Outside of that he works with Ami a lot doing mechanics and repairs - probably interested in learning CompanDroid maintenance/repair but figures it'd be skeevy for him to push that point too much.

He and Eddie have a complicated relationship I think. They'd be kinda suspicious/distrusting of each other but also have a LOT of similarities and work really well together. To say nothing of their respective relationships with Buck.

I don't think he's Trying to Uncle the younger recruits in the Gulch but he definitely Does. He likes White a lot. He and Ami would also definitely get along really well. He is being The Bigger Man and Mature Adult and not giving Felix a wedgie no matter how badly he wants to

HEARTBREAKER(?) MINNIE:

From the same family of prominence as Buck and is currently very much on the run after a failed attempt to kill her own dad.

Extremely a city kid and is Not necessarily adapting well to Middle Of Nowhere Self Sustained Living.

Knew Of Buck but never met him before this so his whole Life and Little Criminal Commune featuring Multiple Guys He's Got SOMETHING Going On With is. it's a lot

Would like to do some crime actually but is A) still a little traumatized and adjusting to the whole Situation and B) 13 Whole Real Human Years Old.

Fascinated by Zeki's whole deal and his work but I think they would absolutely bring out the worst in each other they would fight so much. Autism to autism hostility

Having a very complicated response to White and Ami wherein she thinks they're SO cool but interacting with them at any length would make her realize Things About Herself that she's not consciously ready to confront so just like. Imagine being White and looking over your shoulder and that 13 year old is just Intensely Staring At You Unblinking from around a corner and as soon as she realizes you've seen her she turns around and runs off as fast as she can directly into a wall

Zarita absolutely hitting that Cool Just Slightly Older Kid niche for her.

#anonymous puzzler art #anonymous puzzler originals #villain coded comic #heartbreak gulch #strangegutz #long post #it's fun to put your Guys in a New Situation! love that!!!#fun and interesting to think ok what about you is inherent no matter the setting and what changes when your situation is different #(the funny thing being I don't think a lot would fundamentally have to change about the HBG gang in villain-coded)#(like sure why not we can have compandroids. we can have the criminal haven in the desert. that all makes sense.)

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gold-snek-hoe · 2 months

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Hello and welcome to Opinions from an Internet Nobody. Today's essay:

"Ger therapy" is the new "You need Jesus": One Weirdo's Navigation through Cultural Shame

This is a supposedly well-meaning sentiment that is often weaponized against people who are behaving outside of perceived cultural norms. It's a favorite of homophobes who see queerness/transness as a mental illness, but I've been seeing it used to demonize kink (which historically is often linked to queerness), and more generally any "weird" behavior that makes people uncomfortable.

For example, otherkin, systems (especially those with fictives), and people who take fictional characters as partners. Y'know, "weirdos" who "can't separate reality from fiction." And, sure, sometimes there can be a problem with that distinction, but I know as well as you that most internet strangers saying "get therapy" don't actually give a shit about the mental health of those they target. It's code for "your behavior makes me uncomfortable, stop it."

Same sentiment as "you need Jesus."

This has actually taken me a long time to figure out. I've been in therapy for my entire adult life, working through various traumas, severe depression, anxiety, all that. Those were the biggest problems as they negatively impacted, and often endangered, my life. It was only after my hospitalization in 2020, where I was finally put on much needed medication, that I could start to grow into myself.

I changed my name. I top surgery. I came out as polyamorous. I finally got my official autism diagnosis. Now I'm fuckin' married! But... there are still things I'm working through in therapy. Mainly, shame over my "weirder" behaviors. My current therapist has been a huge blessing in helping me accept the things I was too ashamed to admit.

Now, I feel comfortable enough to share.

I'm otherkin. Always have been. My connection to my humanity is tenuous, and I'm sure that's connected to my autism. When mad, I feel phantom horns sprouting from my forehead. I have a tail that swishes back and forth at the base of my spine. In my soul, I am monstrous, and years of therapy has not erased that.

I feel like I'm only half in the physical world most of the time. This doesn't hinder my real-world success (I graduated college Summa Cum Laude, have an IMDB page, and am on my third book), but informs the way I look at the world. There's a whole other universe in my head that hums along with me in my day-to-day. That's part of why I'm so skilled as a writer. To ask me to divorce from that is to tell me to stop existing. Sorry, it's how I've always operated.

Lastly, and this is the one I'm really anxious about, I have a fictional husband. Now, looking at my blog, you might say "yeah, no shit," but I don't just ship myself with him. I mean I practice pop-culture Witchcraft, and the Goblin King is my patron. I mean I have a Labyrinth-themed tarot deck that I talk to him with. I mean I held a ritual to spiritually marry him. Basically, I Snape-wived myself.

And guess what? My therapist isn't concerned. It's not hurting my ability to live my life. I have other interests, hobbies, and goals outside of him, which he actively encourages in all our tarot sessions! I wouldn't be doing this if he didn't support me. My IRL spouse is usually there for whatever magical shit I'm doing, and supports me! Some of my closest friends know, and the only complaint I've gotten is "this guy seems important to you, I wish you told me sooner." Hell, my MOTHER knows and supports me, which is huge, because our relationship was pretty damaged after I came out as trans.

If you have a problem with the way I live my life, when literally nobody else does, take a good long look at why. You don't give a fuck about my mental health. You just don't like that I'm weird.

Tl;dr: My mental health is better than it's ever been since embracing the weird, so leave me and my imaginary husband Marak Sixfinger alone.

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elasticitymudflap · 5 months

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If Betty returns in season two, what kind of plot lines and character arcs would you like to see for her? Which characters do you want to see her interact with?

oh man. okay buckle up because you are about to endure my full frontal autism.

first you're going to have to go into this post knowing that i am insane about betty grof. i am aware of this. but they also called me crazy back in 2012 when i said simon and betty probably loved each other very much despite the fact she disappeared, and that she was probably a huge chaotic badass, AND I WAS RIGHT so.

all of this aside, here are a couple things i think would be epic and sexy of them to address:

~betty's past~

GIRL WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.

no, seriously. i hate that the cut content from the storyboards revealed so much about her that didn't make the final 'jerry' cut. betty is passionate, intense, and liked simon's work because he was this weird little guy who proudly had all these "out there" theories. she even stated that "ancient magic" was once her major, so it's no fucking wonder she was so jazzed to find the one other guy who studied and believed in the strange things she did.

how did betty come to have these strange beliefs, and to the point of pursuing it in fucking grad school? was she just always like this? did her interests and beliefs put her at odds with others when she was growing up, little miss dig-her-way-down-to-the-devil, and that's part of the reason she wanted all the more to support simon?

reading that scene in temple of mars where magic betty laments "what remains" of her original self after spending so long dedicated to simon, even if you take into account the way MMS is warping her perspectives and cranking her obsessive tendencies to 11, i find it hard to believe betty didn't grow up with some kind of instability or trauma that made her more prone to throw herself completely at someone who showed her genuine love and kindness. this isn't necessarily a fault on simon's part, he probably didn't even clock it because he was so caught up with trying not to fuck things up with her (he's got his own issues). but it definitely seems like this is something deeply coded into her being, especially when you consider she was willing to leave everything she knew behind in an instant for him.

and i NEED to know more about the wacky shit she was up to in ooo, before and after becoming magic betty. did she ever go to wizard city? did other wizards even know about her? what does she think about her time as magic betty? moreover, how the hell did king man even get betty to agree to his weird idea of cognitive behavioural therapy?? how did she actually go from literally willing to kill herself via time travel to actually accepting that she needed help getting over simon?? did prismo and the cosmic owl get involved?? what is their connection to king man and mars anyway, i mean we know grob gob glob grod hung out with them?? do you think betty knew at any point about simon's head holding the fionna and cake universe?? SO MANY QUESTIONS RAAARRGHGHHGHH

also, not to get super sappy, but i want to see the enchiridion expedition from her perspective!! i want to see her progression from 'hell yeah im going on an adventure with that guy whose research i admire' to 'oh my god i love his stupid ass help????'.

~betty's guilt (feat. regrets)~

i don't care what the alternate bus stop scene said, you will never convince me betty grof has "no regrets". i think she has 'no regrets' in terms of loving simon, and she would never want him to think that she regrets their relationship because of what it "did" to her (turned her into a kaiju). i think this scene was betty trying to give simon a modicum of closure by reassuring him of that fact, and trying to help him reckon with the fact that there's no going back and changing how things ended up for the two of them; from here on out they can only move forward.

that being said, we know that betty will often push simon into doing things she thinks are best for him, whether he wants these things or not, such as not getting held up by snakes or not dying. she's a quick thinker and a risk taker who doesn't like looking at the 'big picture', and these are things she's probably very aware about herself.

i think, in the 12 years that they were apart, betty probably had a lot of time to reflect on her decisions after the crown came into their lives. how her hubris in trying to study magic ended up in her becoming "magic betty", how magic betty nearly ended/condoned the end of the world multiple times, how she ultimately did cure simon but almost killed him in the process. most of all, you cannot convince me betty wouldn't agonize over how her split-second decision to jump into the future affected simon. you really think betty fucking grof would've have been totally unaffected by the revelation that simon spent nearly ten human lifetimes agonizing over driving her away?

in her last interaction with him, magic betty's recklessness cured them... only to then be grotesquely crushed to death inside of golb. but he didn't get upset with her, he didn't panic, he didn't even fight it, he just... gave in. there's this air of acceptance to him, an acceptance that comes after prolonged and complicated grief, that i'd argue, wasn't the culmination of being cured, but the culmination of his long and painful battle over losing her; he was content to die as long as he was with her. that must have been... really something for her to mull over.

i could easily see her developing a bit of a complex over it. i think it would be fascinating to see a betty who now, after all the dust as settled, has looked at their history and concluded that she was the common denominator in all of this, that she is bad for simon, that in a way she is a "curse" to him. and that it would be the perfect justification for her staying away from him all these years, thinking without her influence he could finally move on from her and live the rest of his human life happily with his new magic future friends.

i don't think betty has necessarily "moved on" from simon, i think she still loves him dearly... but as i said, thoroughly convinced she'll only damage him further if she keeps trying to pursue him, and that simon's breakdown during season 1 was only more evidence to that fact.

i think she's trying to lead him to get over her 'for his own good', and that she's purposefully being vague and simplifying conclusions about their relationship so he doesn't try to fight her on it like he always does when she makes these huge decisions for them. she's not bringing any of the stuff she actually regrets up with him because only betty sees it as a problem. simon is so enamoured with her he probably wouldn't even entertain the possibility that she had negative effect on him, but he would believe the reverse in a heartbeat.

this isn't me saying they're ""toxic"" at all, i'm saying that these are two very damaged people who would benefit from multiple types of therapy. and that, as they are, they currently are more likely to keep going in loops with unhealthy behaviours and blaming themselves ad infinitum rather than try to reckon with how they can change, and how it is a problem that they'll always do it for the other, but never for themselves.

even if all of my above ramblings turn out to be bunk: betty grof needs some kind of therapy for her pre-existing self sacrificial tendencies and self worth issues, a space for her to process and work through all of the things that happened to her in ooo, couple's counselling, and the biggest blunt known to man.

you might be wondering "emery, why are you talking about her like she isn't beyond such things? she's golb now, the embodiment of chaos! her ""arc"" is over."

~golbetty conspiracy theory time~

i'm not entirely convinced betty is golbetty as we've come to understand her. i stand by this with my crumbs of a conspiracy theory in that when simon first did the ritual, it was ORIGINAL golb's face that flashed over the scene (not golbetty or even the statue's face), and how golbetty seemed to transform back into Golb Classic after she blew simon away into the void. there's also this weird thing where golbetty had these holes or rips on her leg when she rotated; i thought it was an animation error but then it was also in the storyboards so idk what to believe...

plus the boards ive seen seem to only refer to them as "GOLB", never 'GOLBetty', which i just find... interesting

and i keep thinking about simon info-dumping about golb to betty in the 'come along with me' flashback and the specific wording that was used: "imagine if we could somehow harness all that dank energy..." and then comparing it to the specific wording of betty's wish "... however it has to happen, I wish for the power to keep Simon safe"

there's a couple lines in 'you forgot your floaties' regarding betty's work before becoming magic betty that i feel often get overlooked, one being how tiny manticore describes the situation as "she thinks she can save her BF, Simon, by finding the source of magic," and in betty's own words: "studying [magic madness and sadness] could lead me to their underlying cause, and then I'll control the forces that hold sway over Simon"

i've always wondered if part of the reason betty's wishes to "banish golb from this world/for golb to disappear" didn't work was not just because they didn't tap into her heart's deepest wish (keeping simon safe), but because a wish like that would also require some kind of fundamental change to the laws of the universe first in order for it to work. magic betty even references golb as "the most powerful force in the universe," so how would the crown ever hope to compete with that? according the ancient candy elemental, wish magic has the potential to cause "irreversible damage to the very structure of existence". maybe the crown itself couldn't banish golb with a simple wish, but it could restructure the world to create someone who was powerful enough to control even golb, if only it were structured through the correct wishing language.

and it would make total sense for betty to become that person.

i've been thinking about the way the candy elemental tries to warn evergreen from using the crown: "this wish may see things in you you cannot see yourself, can you truly say you know your heart's truest desire?"

i wonder if there may have been two elements to betty's wish, and the part of it that betty "didn't see in herself" was her worded in the language of "power"; betty's desire to gain control over forces of the universe no human could ever hope to fight against, let alone win.

she spent her human life fascinated by ancient magic, fighting to get her's and simon's work recognized as valid and worthwhile. then, she's suddenly in the future, fighting to stop simon from dying, physically fighting at times, and fighting to find a way to gain control over these "forces" that held him prisoner. she essentially is fighting to become the conqueror of magic, madness, and sadness... and she fails, becomes a victim of it. and it all goes downhill from there, the loss of control over herself, over her mind, over her goals, yet the most 'betty' thing about her is that she's still fighting, albeit a bit crooked and to the detriment of all else. in the end, she's even fighting with herself, fighting to remember who she even is without the fight, not even sure if that person exists anymore.

and then she's freed, suddenly, from the confines of MMS to the literal confines of a quickly shrinking prison. when you watch the two of them in that scene, she isn't fighting to escape the same way finn is literally fighting the wall, but you can tell she's not giving up. part of her is still fighting to think of a way out, even when it feels like there's absolutely no hope left.

her desire "for the power" could mean, in a sense, to have the ability to be in control of all that she couldn't at one time or another: time, fate, magic, life, death, chaos... but this was articulated through her love for simon, because it's the only way she probably even recognizes it within herself.

this is why i don't entirely think betty and golb are fused, or that betty is solely "golbetty". i think being "fused" with no possibility of escape would be antithetical to the language and possible wider implications of her wish. this is why i think she's something above even golb, like a being with the ability to possess/harness the power of other deities. and i think she does this specifically in scenarios where simon is in immediate danger and she needs to control them or harness their power in order to protect him.

i'm ready to be proven wrong, and i probably will be. still, i rotate these thoughts in my head at a dangerous velocity, and none of you can stop me.

~ok i'm done ill stop being insane now (lying)~

so to... actually answer your question, i REALLY want betty to meet fionna and cake, because it sounds to me like they remind simon a lot of her. i would just love to see the absolute fucking tornado they'd be when put in a room together.

also, obviously first and foremost, I NEED BETTY TO TALK TO MARCELINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, as far as season 2 goes, something is definitely up with prismo. and since he's guardian/creator of multiverse entities, who the fuck knows what that means for the fabric of existence if he's glitching out.

all im saying is, i wouldn't be surprised if our main trio end up having to save the multiverse and have to do so with help from other... entities. bettities, even. (hehe. bettity)

#here i am; 27 and writing 7 page essays about betty grof #just as nature intended

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stem-sister-scuffle · 3 months

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STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 1 MASHUP 3

Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan (Bones (TV Series)) vs Honey Lemon (Big Hero 6)

Dr. Temperance Brennan is a Forensic Anthropologist!

Honey Lemon is a Chemist!

Why you should vote for each contestant:

Dr. Temperance Brennan:

"Neurodivergent coded +++"

"she's so autistic about her job and has THREE phds !!"

"Coded autism to the max"

"She is a forensic anthropologist who uses her skills/degrees/knowledge to identify and study ancient and more modern remains alike to uncover their histories as well as (the main point of the show) analyze murder victims in such a state that their bones are usually the best chance at identifying them in order to solve the crimes. She is the best in her field and knows it and never apologizes or makes excuses. She is herself and you really should be aware. She has the Science, the Technology, enough Engineering, and the Math to get everything done right. She believes in Science. Logic and Facts are her saints. She is only interested in finding the Truth as the data presents and refuses to state her hypothesis until it is proven (if not she moves on to another possible explanation until satisfied)."

"Solves crimes w STEM. autistic"

"She has gained the nickname 'Bones' for the connection she seems to have to bones. She's the very best in her field and has helped solve numerous murder mysteries just by her ability to analyse the victims' bones. She's also a published author in her field and widely respected in academia."

"Had a mad crush on her in middle school. Also autistic swag fr fr."

"autism swag. solves murders"

"She’s fiercely dedicated to her work—figuring out who someone was and what happened to them from examining their bones. She has a great deal of integrity and tells the truth whether it’s convenient for her or not. She’s also heavily autistic coded, and I personally found her such a source of hope when I was younger that someone like me—someone intelligent and compassionate but who has trouble with “people skills” and doesn’t always know how to show that compassion—could find a place in the world."

"She is the best in her field (not the best *woman*, the best PERSON) and she knows it. She has no interest in being modest because her work speaks for itself. Slow burn romance! Autistic coded character (and not the only one)! Impractical but beautiful bulky necklaces just because!"

Honey Lemon:

"She applies her science into being a kickass superhero"

"She's so nice and enthusiastic about science. She's funny :)"

"She loves chemistry and wants to make the world a better place through it! She’s always optimistic and upbeat no matter what!!! Cute girlies in STEM!!!!!"

"her excitement for science is so palpable it’s my favorite part of the movie. she’s ECSTATIC about the elements and making chemical reactions just to see what happens!! not to mention she’s smart as FUCK! she created chemical formulas on the fly as she fights bad guys. CHEMISTRY is her superpower. she’s cute hehe"

"Her name is Honey Lemon. That's the cutest name I've ever heard. She's also described as having an innate talent in Chemistry, as well as a groundbreaking chemist. In her hero gear she has a Chem-Purse, which has a typepad of the periodic table which she can press on to make into a dense ball of any element she wishes, and during active battle she can calculate and input chemical formulas at incredible speeds without even having to look at it. Girlboss behaviour!! She also made a 400 pound ball of tungsten carbide turn into DUST before she became a hero when she was only a university student. She's not even a girlboss anymore she's a girlCEO. I had the BIGGEST crush on her when I was young. My Bi awakening. I love her so much you don't even know 💛"

#stem sister scuffle #round 1 #temperance brennan #bones tv #honey lemon #big hero 6 #bh6 #bh6 the series #big hero 6 the series

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look-how-they-massacred-them · 9 months

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Preliminary Poll

Zane

Submission reason:

So the series has a subplot where Zane is a little different and kinda autism coded, it turns out he's an android (nindroid) and has an episode about accepting himself. His roboticness pops up every now and again, when he has some kind of gadget in his arm or an occasional joke, subtle things. Seasons 3 and 4 make this more of a plot point, and eventually he does look entirely mechanical. Even though his arc is dependant on being a robot, he's so much more then that. The Ninjago Movie is an alternate timeline that swerves away from canon pretty hard. Ok, fine, not too big a deal right? Except that Zane being a robot becomes his only personality trait. He talks completely flat and robotic, rather then the quiet observant kind of voice in the show. I don't remember much of this movie since I haven't seen it in a while but, like, Zane is so much more then 'beep boop funny' guy

hes a robot right, and was very heavily autism coded as inhuman characters tend to be. however. he was autism coded in a cool way. autism coded in a just like me for real way. but in season 8 they completely changed him to autistic in a SHITTY STEROTYPE way and to be honest it makes the show almost unwatchable for me. "im sorry as a nindroid i am not capable of understanding your cryptic metaphors </3" DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and jay is Always the one who explains things to him. "silly zane its called SARCASM🙄🙄🤭 youre so silly!" and i want to rip them both out of the screen and tear them into little Lego pieces

Reduced to nothing but “the robot” when it came to all jokes involving him, nothing that ever happens to him feels meaningful because any psychological or physical injuries are forgotten by the next episode or two, his most impactful arc was turned into a joke by the writers during Crystallized, his best character development in years was in a literal BOOK.

Propaganda:

Your honour, he’s just a silly, goofy guy! He’s just a silly little guy and he doesn’t deserve any of this and it’s his birthday and also he’s autistic.

he means everything to me. first ever character to give me Blorbo Induced Feelings. i wish he had blood and guts so i could dissect him

#look how they massacred them poll #look how they massacred my boy #lego ninjago #ninjago #ninjago zane #zane julien #zane #zane ninjago

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angelicalacrimae · 1 year

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why strawberry crepe cookie is very autistic coded

by: yours truly, an autistic person who happens to like the pink cookie a lot! 🌸

the chart above is what i will be using as a base for some of the behaviors they express. though i'm letting you guys know beforehand that autism looks different in everyone (obviously) and that some traits might be influenced by traumatic events in your early years of life (like what happens with Crepe.)

most of the information has been taken from canon events and stories, and some other things are just based on my own interpretation of their dialogue and the few things we know about their backstory!

we will go in parts, describing each tab in as much detail as i possibly can ...

that being said, sit the fuck down, grab some snacks, and listen to me ramble about the little pink cookie, because that's what autism made ME do. some people solve math problems, i talk about my little pink thing while i rotate them around in my head like a microwave.

before i start: spoiler warning for pretty much everything regarding Strawberry Crepe Cookie and cookie odyssey.

🌸🌸🌸🌸

i. fixations -

the fixations tab is the easiest thing to explain from this mess, since it's most of their character: robotics!Crepe shows a high interest in wafflebots! being pretty much one of the few things they talk about freely (and something they're very passionate about as a whole) and being something that takes up most of their day and routine.

there are many parts where they start rambling about the bots, being most noticeable during the cookie odyssey (they have many of these moments during their parts of the story! 🎶)

(they also seem to be messy as mentioned by Clotted Cream Cookie at some point in odyssey, unless it comes to their tools! which is. something i relate to deeply lmao. i find organizing my clothes and things pretty boring, but i enjoy organizing my art supplies for example. relaxing activities ~ i'm not sure if it IS part of a fixation but i still think it deserves a spot.)

🌸🌸🌸

ii. noise sensitivity -

this is also easy to explain: they don't like noise. one of their "default phrases" is. just that. them complaining about the noise (and mentioning that their bots are more quiet, once again tying things back to their special interest/hyperfixation.)

and this new comment from the spring 2023 event.

🌸🌸🌸

iii. aggression -

while also having canon arguments to back up this one, it can't really be used as a way to say "oh Crepe is autistic". why? because crepe has gone through trauma and was exposed to violence as a fairly young kid, specially since it wasn't really explained to them that what they did was wrong.

they are aggressive, having threatened others before ... but is it an autistic thing, or just a trauma response of some sort? i can't really tell, honestly. so i'm going to replace it with:

🦄🌸 the inability to properly identify their own emotions, something i've struggled with since i was just a little guy !!!! 🌸🦄

(or, in proper terms, i think it's called alexithymia! if this is wrong i will correct myself.)

when Pure Vanilla mentioned the time period they were alone (or with DE) they responded with: "well ... it WAS boring!"

boring, a word that seems to be quite common in their vocabulary and mine (especially as a kid, we're talking a 5-8 y/o child who struggled to properly identify their emotions and was pretty disconnected from them)

i remember always complaining of boredom, and i sometimes still mix boredom with sadness, understimulation ... you call it.

and the fact that they used the word "boring" to describe a (definitely) traumatic period of their life is. quite interesting to me!

were they truly bored, or were they sad? anxious? scared ...?

and then, once again, in the spring 2023 event, we get more of that:

it happens after the group of kids they're playing with don't listen to their attempts of communicating their discomfort and stress over the situation they're in, Crepe was trying to communicate that they weren't happy with the noise they were making and the fact that everyone was walking in different directions. (and one of the kids was being particularly hyperactive too)

so, they lashed out.

pretty self-explanatory. Crepe also isn't very good at expressing and controlling their negative emotions.

so yeah! back to the ACTUAL chart now ...

🌸🌸🌸

iv. social difficulty -

yeah, another obvious one. they struggle with socializing and seem to prefer the company of their robots and small crowds. (or older people, they seem to be a lot more nicer around Espresso. like in the christmas 2022 story)

not much to say, their socializing skills may also be affected by their trauma. (they were frozen for years as a child, abandoned by their village and then by Dark Enchantress, leading to a pretty lonely life before the events of chapter 9 and odyssey)

but i do think they're genuinely just an awkward little kid, and that's fine! they're learning at their own pace as i've mentioned in another post :)

🌸🌸🌸

v. speech pattern -

... it may be me, but their way of speaking is different of the way kids around their age express themselves usually, so i say they got an abnormal speech pattern.

they use big words and know what they mean, end of the speech tab. i don't know how a normal person speaks so i can't really say "this was supposed to be abnormal speech? but I speak like that!"

🌸🌸🌸

vi. depression / anxiety -

the depression and anxiety tab are mainly based on headcanons i branched out based on their backstory, but they may be enforced by their crunchy dreams story and their fortune: "you're not alone: love surrounds you."

it's probably not related to autism, though. it's probably because of their trauma and abandonment issues. either way it's there.

to need reassuring in something like this means that they probably cling compulsively to certain thoughts/beliefs.

which, if i remember correctly, is a thing that sometimes happens with autistic people according to other autistic people. it's like a weird fixation of sorts, i'm not 100% sure ...

the only time(s) i've seen them have some sort of anxious behavior is during their battle speech, where they panic after losing to Gingerbrave's team.

then during the spring event of 2023, where they say that they "can't think straight" because of the noise Pancake Cookie is making.

🌸🌸🌸

i'm not sure if they got any tics and fidgets, i haven't noticed anything that can classify as such, so it's one of the lowest tabs.

same with the abnormal posture. and if they got it is probably because of the being frozen thing weakening their body to an extent.

🌸🌸🌸

in conclusion! after tumblr deleted part of my post from my drafts ... _(:3」 ∠)_

i wholeheartedly believe Crepe might be an autistic coded character, whether or not is something the writers intended to do isn't clear to me, but they show SO many traits that i wouldn't be surprised if they canonically were! most of the things i mentioned are also based from my own experience and the bits i can remember form my own childhood as an undiagnosed kid, but yeah!

i hope you enjoyed this painfully long rant <3 i might make one eventually about how i think Crepe might also be physically disabled (implied), but for now, have this.

okay bye i can't post more pictures because the app sucks.

#strawberry crepe cookie #strawberry crepe crk #cookie run kingdom #long post #character analysis #autism be damned my cookie can build robots #actually autistic #autistic character

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sanderstime · 7 months

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My Favorite Headcanons

This is mostly for AU's that don't take place where they are all In the mind of the same person. A lot of them are appearance-based. This might be a ramble but yeah here. Logan: -He's the tallest of the sides. This guy in my head would be one lanky intimidating-looking mf then you turn around and find him geeking out over a jelly brand. -He likes to slick back his hair, not like completely but with a few strands left in the front... and he only doesn't style it like that when by himself or with people he trusts.

-He wears rectangular-shaped glasses.

-He's neurodiverse, I think he is very autism-coded and that's cool so why not make it fanon y'know?

-He learns how to help people through panic/anxiety attacks specifically because of meeting Virgil.

-He takes time to learn about other people's interests, or at least the basic rundown about it so he can understand and not be confused when they talk about them (Even when he refuses to participate in those interests or doesn't like them.)

-He memorized the entire history of Crofters, it's one of his special interests somehow.

-He doesn't like weddings, but he somehow ends up being the one keeping the whole event together.

-At parties, he's basically the guy who looks after everyone. Making sure everyone whose passed out didn't hit their heads, putting spare blankets over them, and driving his friends home all while mumbling what idiots they are, but endearingly.

-he likes small get-togethers with friends but not so much big parties.

-He's the kind of guy you need to warm up too, he seems standoffish at first but he truly cares and is very kind underneath the surface,

-He's *awful* at video games that aren't tetris or puzzle games, he will always lose at Mortal Kombat/Smash Bros/Ect but despite that he gets competitive. So he tries to avoid them.

-Likes to debunk cryptid/

Virgil:

-He's very average height. He's not really tall but he isn't tiny either.

-He has dark circles normally but he puts dark eyeshadow on top of them to hide them and because he likes how it looks.

-He has his hair dyed purple, yeah no surprise but in an AU where they don't all have the same hair... I think his should be a pretty purple color.

-Definitely utilizes his piercings. He wears black studs, and really depends but I like the idea of him having snakebites. Go full emo.

-He has freckles when he's out in the sun enough to have them.

-He's gotten each of the other sides to help him touch up his hair before. Except Remus, he knows Remus would try to dye it green.

-He has a special set of noise-cancelling headphones when he wants to be left alone and another set because he's worried he won't hear his phone going off or someone break in.

-He can't cook for shit, like he burns macaroni. He tried to put a plastic plate on an oven and he can barely make ramen. -He has a ton of blankets, one for each surface he would sit on in his home. -He owns a LOT of posters, most are of punk bands and nightmare before Christmas.

-Absolutely loves Spiders and Bats, has a pet spider duh.

-Despite talking a big game, and being into spooky things, he is a huge scaredy cat. He hides behind his hands or into the body of whoever is sitting closest to him(if he trusts them)

Patton:

-Round glasses. Everyone does this already buy I love him having wire-framed glasses.

-Light brown hair. Like super light brown hair where it might as well be dirty blonde.

-Has all the freckles, the most freckles. Just give them all to him.

-He is really hard *not* to get along with, he tries to speak to everyone with kindness and treat them kindly- even if they do upset him.

-He is an excellent cook and baker, literally he makes goodies all the time and will give them away to his friends to eat.

-very supportive of his friends interests, he will be so confused but he will nod and smile and ask questions.

-He cries very easily, he'll cry at commercials, movies, shows, music videos, books, while everyone else is fine. They all support him though.

-He likes sprite. Idk he seems like a sprite guy.

-I don't have many headcanons for him

-has the most collectables or collections of any of the others.

Roman:

-I imagine him being more on the shorter side but... he's pretty damn fit. Dude does morning runs while listening to Disney songs.

-Has the best voice of all the sides.

-He has a whole ass morning routine, like a special one with detailed skincare.

-Has the curliest hair of the sides

-This dude loves singing, he sings super loud while in the shower and constantly imagines himself singing in a concert. He sings any chance he can get, in the car, suggesting karaoke nights at any opportunity.

-The type of guy to sing you happy birthday everyday the week of your birthday to make you feel special.

-When he first meets people, he will often act charming and try to befriend them. Mostly just new neighbors, coworkers, ect ect. Just is a huge gentlemen.

-really only lets loose his more chaotic side when he gets to know others.

(I'll make another post with the dark sides later, but this is my thoughts here on the main four. :) )

#virgil sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides #roman sanders #patton sanders #sanders sides headcanon

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lookwhatyoudidithasanxiety · 9 days

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Solar Character Ref

He/him; 5'7; regresses as old as 7 and as young as 3 (tends to stick to the younger age range now), goes nonverbal when especially upset

All flat teeth, no fangs.

Has a crack in his faceplate over his left eye from where his Moon hit him. His left eye is also damaged from his Moon forcibly removing it once, he had to put it back in himself.

Right eye is white with black pupil, left eye has black sclera and a gold pupil. He has difficulty seeing clearly through his damaged eye, so he sometimes has to turn his head to see things better.

Body is covered in various dings and dents. Some from the kids, some from Midnight...

No paws or claws.

Practices witchcraft, identifies as pagan.

Poppy called him bumble, bumblebee, and honeybee. Sun calls him bug when he's regressed.

The body he was put into is a basic solar model. It's orange, but everything about it was initially simple and basic. He gave himself upgrades that allow him to run off of a single charge for days at a time.

Has arthritis in his hands. Not only due to past physical trauma, but also from working nonstop on various projects. He wears his gloves to not only increase his grip strength and protect his hands, but to also mitigate some of the sensory overload he experiences.

Head of maintenance and had to run the daycare all by himself while in his own dimension.

I haven't explicitly said if he has autism (I left that up to interpretation since I don't want to misrepresent it), but he does have sensory processing disorder. He can't stand loud noises, bright lights, or just general over-stimulation (Yeah. Running the daycare was not great...)

"Ya weren't supposed to see that..." "He's...he's gone? Don't we have a backup? Or maybe we can restore his systems!" "No, come on. You don't have time to be sick right now. You're just tired. You're just tired." "Watch over these toys fer Papa, they're really special to 'im. An' I need someone big an' strong ta watch 'em and keep 'em safe. Can ya do that?"

Relationships with:

Sun: Solar still has days where he looks at Sun and sees his own Sun. In fact, when he crashes into regression (because this guy almost never willingly does), he still sees Sun as his Poppy. Not being able to see well out of one eye doesn't help things. But him and Sun get along well! He and Solar have mandated self-care days together, Harvest sometimes joins, and they all have tea together and unwind.

Moon: He and Moon get along really well. They spend a lot of time together engineering and working on tech. But every once in a while, Solar has to remind himself of where he is and who he's with. This isn't his Moon. He knows it.... When he regresses, he sometimes can't be anywhere near Moon. Other times, he wants 'Mama' (and who is Moon to deny him?).

Harvest: Like Harvest and Moon, Solar and Moon spend time together just sitting and watching the chaos. Harvest is trying to teach him how to knit, and he's slowly starting to pick it up.

Bloody: You would think that Solar wouldn't get along well with Bloody because of how high energy he is. On the contrary, Solar is drawn to it and you can find him tossing balls of yarn for him (much to Sun's chagrin, those are his 100% WOOL SKEINS-). Bloody is on the opposite end of the sensory spectrum; where Solar tends to be overstimulated, Bloody seeks out stimulation. But that means that Bloody has plenty of stim toys and things he can share with Solar. Bloody also likes to curl up on Solar's lap for head scratches.

Lunar: Solar tends to either be getting Lunar out of trouble or encouraging the chaos. Solar saw him when they first met and immediately adopted him. Yeah, no, he'll gladly take over watching Lunar every time he's regressed from now on, thanks. Solar is like an older brother to Lunar, and they regularly play Minecraft together.

Kill Code: Solar isn't really sure what to think of Kill Code. He's honestly still confused how he exists, but he doesn't question it too much. As long as he doesn't hurt his family friends, he'll just keep an eye on him...

Past Relationships:

Poppy: Poppy was immediately accepting of him when he first came to be. They worked out a system that allowed both of them to have control of the body at different times. They were also Solar's primary caregiver, especially when Midnight and Poppy had their disagreement. They did their very best to keep Solar from seeing Midnight's true colors and their frequent arguments, but they weren't able to. Poppy was the one to teach Solar witchcraft and herbalism, and Solar still strives to make them proud of him...

Midnight: Solar learned a lot of what he knows about mechanics and engineering from his Moon. He didn't realize his true colors for a long time because Poppy kept it hidden from him so well. Until that point, Midnight was his other caregiver and Solar even called him Mama.

Midnight is the one that caused the majority of Solar's damage. He sometimes didn't even state a reason for when he'd 'punish' him, he'd just grab him and hurt him. Solar prefers to do his own repairs, he doesn't trust anyone else to really do them.

#lwyd nice eclipse #em speaks #mun speaks #character ref #character reference #finally done!#gosh that took way too long...

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trafalgarya · 1 year

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How is it like to be in a relationship with Kara members ?

With : Eida, Delta, Daemon, Code, Amado, Kashin Koji, Jigen/Isshiki.

gn!reader.

manga spoilers.

aged up Daemon.

brief mention of depression, autism, and insomnia.

SFW only!! i'll write a NSFW part if you guys want it.

i'm not currently reading the manga, so i don't know much about Eida. i'll just go with the flow and with what i know about her.

Eida

Being in a relationship with Eida is extraordinarily romantic.

She'll definitely call you pet names. "Darling", "Sweetheart", "Pretty boy/girl", or simply "My love".

Because of her ability, she's used of everyone falling in love with her. But with you ? Completely different.

She didn't even had to use her power to capture your heart. Being the charismatic and elegant person Eida is, she made an extraordinary first impression without even trying.

I think she would prefer a person just like her, calm and confident. She wouldn't mind an energetic person too, but that reminds her too much of her little brother, Daemon.

She'll act like a mother to you, always making sure you drank and ate well enough, got enough sleeping, being in good health, etc. She'll be very caring with you.

She wants her S/O to be perfect. Not superficially, but more like mentally. She wants her S/O to be the happiest person because of her. She want to please them, to be the center of their life. But in a cute way, not like in a possessive way.

She's into traditional things. Just offer her flowers, dance with her, hug her while she's cooking, kiss her slowly but gently in her neck, and i can assure you she'll be at your feet. She'll be melted by all that.

Her main love languages are physical touch, words of affirmations, and acts of service. She can't help but want to touch you every time. It doesn't even have to be sexual. She just want to hold your hand, feeling your hand around her waist, your lips against hers, your fingers on her hips. She's also pretty eloquent, so she'll recomfort you whenever you are in a bad mood or something. She'll give you plenty of compliments, kissing all your insecurities and looking at you with a look full of love. She also demonstrates her love by buying you something you love, taking you on amusement park, eating ice cream with you. Everything.

She. Will. Introduce. You. To. Her. Brother. That's not even an option. He sometimes insert himself in your dates, just to be sure you aren't tempting to hurt his precious sister. Boy have his eyes locked on you. He already threatened to kill you if you dare hurting her. But Eida reassures him, so he's more and more relaxed with you as time passes by.

Overall, she loves you very much. She's a really romantic and loving person. Don't hurt her little heart who's craving love, she trust you very much.

Delta

MOMMY.

Listen, i adore her very much.

And, i was genuinely surprised at her reaction when she understood she loved Eida- She was romantically totally different in my head 😭.

Anyways-

Her love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch, as showed in the manga.

V E R Y C L I N G Y. She will always hug you or hold your hand whenever she can.

She would be so protective of you. If you don't feel safe, wherever you are, just tell her where you are and she'll come at the speed of light. Literally. (considering the fact that she can manipulate light, that's not an hyperbole 💀)

Very clingy in bed, always hugging you.

She's the big spoon tho, i just can't imagine this woman being the little spoon.

I don't feel like she'd use pet names for you. But if she do, it must have my/mine included. "My love" or "My angel" is what she'd use.

She's very understanding when it comes to problems or troubles. Depression ? If she can do something, she won't hesit once. Autism ? Although she's not the best emotion-wise, she'll try her best to help you. Difficulty to sleep ? She won't sleep until you're asleep first. She'll make you feel loved, protected and safe, whatever the situation is.

Definitely showering you in kisses as she's wrapping her arms around you, bringing you on her lap, and kisses each one of your insecurities separately.

Not the biggest fan of PDA, but she won't hesitate to hold your hand or kissing your cheek quickly, often followed by Code teasing Delta for being such a "dovey-lovey".

She'll always keep an eye on you. Whether you're sleeping or just sitting at her side doing nothing, she'll stare at you at each and every moment of your life.

Overall, Delta is very supportive of you, encouraging you if you want do to something, and she's too much in love with you to even considering being close of someone else.

Daemon (aged up)

Being in a relationship with Daemon is... very energetic...

Bro has too much energy.

At this point, you're acting more like a parent than a lover for him.

Introduced you to her sister two minutes after knowing you. No, i'm not lying.

He attached himself too fast, so Eida isn't surprised when she met another one of his little brother's potentiel love interest.

But, this time, she felt it was different. Daemon loved you very much, it was not like usually. The blush on his face and the big smile he's letting appear while near you, or just talking about you, made Eida genuinely happy. Her brother was finally serious in a relationship. Thus, she'd be more relaxed and friendly with you.

Daemon would certainly share his meals with you. I think his favourite food is ice cream, so you'll always buy an ice-cream for both.

Whenever he feels bored or tired, he's directly coming to you with that childish tone and this amusing walk.

"Y/NNNNNN... 'am sleepy..."

Rubbing his eyes, he's just too cute for you to say no. He always ends up with his head on your lap or just him sitting on it, his arms around your waist/neck, and a cute sleepy face. Snoring a bit, adding more to his cuteness.

If you're walking outside, except him to be on your shoulders, playing with your hair, a big and innocent smile on his face.

Protecting you won't be a problem. His power can literally reflect any attack as long as it's intended or vizualised. All he has to do is touching you with his palm (he would use that as a pretext to hold your hand btw), and reflecting the attack as he's hiding your eyes. But he's also physically strong, so he would just jump on the person and kicking him until he's unconscious and coming back to you like a flower, as he didn't just beat the shit out of someone.

I think you've guessed it : Definitely into PDA. Always on your shoulders, holding your head, or kissing you.

Definitely using too much pet names for you. "Baby" and "Darling" are his favourites.

Clinging to you when sleeping. Definitely the little spoon.

Eida trust you very much. Whenever she can't take care of Daemon, she won't be as worry as she usually would. Because you're here now.

I don't think Daemon would really have a type. Someone who accept him for who he is is enough.

Overall, Daemon loves you too. He act more like your child than your boyfriend but yeah-.

Code

A relationship with Code is pretty chill.

Sorry, this part will be short, i don't have too many ideas for him.

Definitely refers to you as "Darling".

When you're outside, he always have an arm around your shoulders, not giving a fuck about what people think of you or your relationship.

Proud to have you in his life and won't even hide it.

Definitely brought you to Delta, and teased her, saying he's loved, not like her.

He's the only man of your life, even if you don't want it.

Like, you remind about how Code wanted to kill Daemon just to be the only man to Eida ? Basically the same with everyone that's a love rival to him.

He'll rant to you about his admiration to Jigen, but also will vent about how much he hates Kawaki and that he should've took his place as Isshiki's vessel.

Want to stay with you everytime.

His favourite type of kiss is the French Kiss. Long, passionate, sensual, intimate... All that.

Not the biggest fan of PDA, but not against it.

Overall, a relationship with Code is pretty chill. He loves you and don't hide it. He's proud of you. "That's my S/O", he'd say.

Amado

A relationship with Amado is the concept of maturity itself.

You two are probably taking breakfast together, and you love coffee as much as he did.

You're smoking together too. I can see Amado smoking on the balcony of his house, with his S/O. If you're not smoking, however, he's fine with just having you by on his sides. And if you don't like the smell of cigarette, that's fine with him too. He'll smoke whenever he's away from you.

You two will talk about everything while he's working on Kara's bodies. If you want to, he'll explain every single step he's doing on his computer.

You're probably in good terms with Jigen, as he seemed to consider Amado as a friend.

He won't be as affectionate as Delta is, but he's sure to remind you everyday that he loves you. Not even compliments, maybe just making your breakfast or helping you with whatever is your problem.

Amado is a great listener. Just tell him whatever is stressing you, and he'll make it his priority. He wants to make you know that he's here for you.

I can see Amado having an arm around your waist as you're walking outside.

He'll let you rest your head against his chest as you two are sleeping. Probably smell like cigarette, coffee or just the man smell. You know, the virility smell. Something like this.

You two definitely have kids. I can see Amado as a great dad, always proud of their kids, patting their head as they bring a great note at school.

If you're feeling sick, Amado's got it. He'll bring you glasses of water in bed as he's putting a little watered towel on your forehead, slowly rubbing your back.

He'd definitely want someone like him, calm and patient. Smart, too. He doesn't care about your body, he loves who for who you are inside, not outside.

Overall, Amado is such a good husband. Always taking care of you and being a good person. He loves you very much and would show it.

Kashin Koji

A relationship with Kashin Koji is... well... complicated ?

Like, he was always shown with a neutral and reserved face, also frowning. He didn't really showed an emotion through the entire show, except when he was about to die to Isshiki.

He loves you, ofc, and you know it. He just don't really know how to show it.

That'll be little attentions, like keeping an eye on you with his toads, and he'll intervene if the situation become bad. He don't bring about it later though.

I do believe Kashin Koji is flustered whenever he have to hug you or whatever.

If you need calm sometimes, he'll grab your hand and enter in one of his toad with you, either just enjoying the view or sending both of you to Mount Myōboku.

That man is smart, so when you are sad or stressed, he immediately see it. He'd leave you your favourite food or your favourite book if he isn't in house.

...

I don't have any ideas... So...

Overall, Kashin Koji loves you, but can't really express it directly. Instead, it'll be with little actions.

Jigen/Isshiki Ōtsutsuki

They're the same person, so just pick the one you want. I'll speak in both of their names for you to interchange.

Anyways, a relationship with Jigen/Isshiki is quite reserved and discreet.

Jigen/Isshiki himself is a discreet and reserved person, so no doubt that he'll prefer someone like him.

He'll let you sit on his lap if you want to, while he's reading a book or if he's resting.

Not into PDA. Sorry man.

If you have to carry something big, just ask Jigen/Isshiki. He'll either carry it himself or reducing it with Sukunahikona.

Only smiling frankly around you. And that's rare.

He'll let Amado take care of you if he can't. He trust him like a friend, so yeah. Oh and, you're in good terms with Amado btw.

You broke something precious ? Don't worry, Jigen/Isshiki already made tons of copies of this object and sent them in his dimension where time doesn't flow. He'll just bring it to you and pat your head. He'd say something like "There, there. You don't have to worry anymore."

It doesn't seem like it, but he's an affectionate man when he wants to. He'll bring you in a soft, warm hug if you're feeling down, just rubbing your back and letting you vent. He'll listen all of it.

If it's because a Kara member, be sure you'll never see them anymore. If that's because someone else, you won't see them anymore too. It it's something else, just leave it to him. He'll solve the problem in little to no time.

Would give you the world if you wanted to. He just want to see his S/O happy.

The only pet name he'll use is "Dear". But in front of others, he'll simply call you by your name in a soft tone.

He'll protect you from every danger. It's not like it's a big deal after all. He effortlessly beat Naruto and Sasuke together. If it wasn't for the Baryon Mode, they'd be dead by now.

Code won't be a big deal too. Even though he's stronger than Jigen/Isshiki, he respect him too much to even consider hurting you.

Little naps in the middle of the day, a plaid between the two of us, his arm around your waist. You couldn't feel safer than in Jigen/Isshiki Ōtsutsuki's presence. You know how strong he is and how much he'd do for you.

Overall, a relationship with Jigen/Isshiki is discreet and calm but loving and romantic.

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