#IM SO SORRY TO THE PEOPLE WHO READ THIS! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

badgyalshii · 24 days

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ITS NEVER OVER |||| (FINALE)

Word count: 4.1k

Paul Atredies x F!Reader (always safe for POCS + PLUSSIZE)

warnings: do NOT read this without reading the past chapters! This is the FINALE. Depression, language, death.

A/n: no words can describe how much this fic lowkey affected me, im greatful for my new followers and thank you for reading this and riding in this journey with me! I love you all, and proceed with caution, and once yr done reading come ttm!

READDDD THE FIRST CHAPTERS! LAST WARNING ITS RLLY GOOD🙄 I . II . III . IV .

Although you and chani shared a room,it still felt like something was missing, and it was clearly paul. You were already scared, but now you grew uncomfortable, you knew these people around you, but it was clear as day something changed, and both you and chani spoke about it, the tension in the air thick between the people you knew your whole life, something was up. You still didn't know where he was and you explained this to chani which she held you in her arms and listened to you vent while softly messing with your hair. ¨he will find you, he will come back, paul is strong, y/n, smart¨ she muttered, looking at you. You would cry if you could, but you never did. It was a rule, don't waste water, so it was in your bones not to cry. It was still your first day coming back to the palace, and it was late at night, you barely heard any footsteps outside of the rather big, dark, and quiet room.

¨maybe i should try to find him?¨ you said, looking at up chani and she let out a sigh before letting you go and touching her chin, rubbing it before coming up to your cheek. ¨you deserve rest. This is too much, enough about paul y/n! Just sleep. That's all you need to do, he will find you¨ her tone was demanding to which you didn't understand why, you furrowed your eyebrows and looked at her sadly, and she laughed before standing up. ¨you know what? Do what you want to y/n. 6 years on the road for what! I've spent my years with you, and you aren't appreciative at all, it hurts my feelings,¨ she revealed, putting her hands on her hips and pacing. ¨paul, paul, paul! Go find him! And when you do and hes not the same dont even fucking talk to me¨ she laughed. ¨chani, don't be like this-¨

¨like what? Seriously, what? If thats what you want, go fucking get it. Because I'm done. I've done enough! You can't even live without paul! Have you not learned anything on your own? From stilgars teachings? From me?!¨ She blew up, all the things she wanted to finally say, she said, before she couldn't, because she tried her best to hear you out, but god you are so hard headed. She didn't even want to look at you. ¨why are you treating me like this?¨ you whispered, looking at her hurt. There was a lump in your throat and your lip pouted. ¨stop treating me like this¨ you said, looking at her begging. ¨you're so unbelievable. I hope you find what you want¨ she sighed and exited the door. You watched as she left before standing and trying to push the frog in your throat down with your knuckles.

This was all so sudden, why does she feel this way? Why did she do that to you? What did you do that was so wrong. But you were now awoken, aware that she wasn't wrong at all, and it hurt. It hurt that you were this way, could you live without paul? It wasn't your fault that you felt like this, maybe she was just jealous, but that isn't the right way of thinking. You laid in the cotton sheets and sat in the darkness, thinking, drifting throughout all of your thoughts as your throat clogged up and you tried your hardest to fight the feeling, but you couldn't. You let out a weak sob, trying to fight the tears that were about to escape your eyes. You swallowed, why? How long had she been feeling this way? Did she secretly hate you? Does she hate you? Maybe you're exaggerating. You came to terms with that and hoped when you slept you woke up to paul.

Knock knock knock

You woke up in a panic, how long have you slept? Was it the next morning? The room was horrifyingly black and you'd been in such a trance you forget what happened before you went to sleep. You heard the knocks again and you became nervous, slowly standing and wondering if you should pretend like you just weren't there, and suddenly the door opened, hardened eyes looked at you, you could feel it, but you couldn't see it. You heard the door creek as it continued to open until the door hit the wall with a small bang.

You slowly crouched down, reaching for the dagger that was in your boot, ̈hello?!¨ you called out after you stood in position. What the fuck was going on? So many thoughts coursed through your head as you wondered who was looking at you, would they say anything back? What should-

¨ Empress irulan has called you for dinner¨ the deep dark voice said, before reaching for the light and flickering it on. You let out an oh and your position changed to an awkward one, putting the dagger in your pocket before he turned the light on. You nodded your head, before letting out a chuckle. ¨erm, didn't know there was a light¨ he didn't find it funny, but he didn't look like he found anything funny. He wore a mask that covered his mouth and his eyebrows looked like he was always angry. ¨follow me¨ he said before turning around, and started walking without you.

It didn't take you long to follow him, the halls were long and quiet, only light from the chandeliers supporting your vision, if it wasn't such a gut sickening situation, the place would seem cooler and more lovely. The only thing that could be heard is the guards hard steps against the pavement of the floor. You looked around and tried to take in the area but every time you tried to think about something positive you couldn't help but think maybe this was the night you were gonna die. You had no protection besides your own, considering chani was mad and ran off to wherever. ¨bitch¨ you muttered under your breath thinking about it, and that seemed to take over your mind now. Why would she do that? What an asshole, and you both could have just talked about it! No need to blow up in your face, trash. You seemed to still be angry about it as you arrived to the door.

You finally arrived at the offly secret room, the entire room was black, the only thing that shined was the dinner table and irulan since there was a single chandelier hanging almost close to touch the dinner table, which must've been sturdy. Irulan sipping wine with a dinner plate in front of her and the same thing on the opposite side of her, guessing that space was for you. “Your majesty” the guard says, irulan looks over at the guard and the guard took notice before nodding, leaving the premises.

There you were, all alone, or you'd hope, with Irulan. Truth was, you could take her on your own no problem. You silently walked over and she watched you the entire time, you pulled out your own seat before scooting yourself in. you cleared your throat and looked ahead. Pretty embarrassing, if you will.

Irulan was dressed in silks, diamonds, everything anyone would want, her hair soft, teeth white and the way she stared at you like you were so beneath her was infuriating, but also made you insecure. You knew how you looked. Your hair is messy. Rips in your clothes. Self care isn't really relevant when you're on the road. She sipped her wine slowly, watching your every move before she set down the glass, and when she did, it was an offly loud sound. You awkwardly looked at her, you tried, tried your hardest actually to hide the fact that you were nervous, that you were scared, but the way that Irulan was looking at you, it was as if she could already tell.

Looking at this glorious food and wine made your throat quench, your mouth watering at the sight. It was filled with mashed potatoes, steak and vegetables, clearly from somewhere else because on this planet you don't really get such fantasies. You looked down at the meal and pursed your lips together, it wasn't that serious, but when you've been looking for scraps for years, and there was a plate just looking at you, waiting for it to be eaten, there's only so much you could do.

You didn't trust it, you averted your eyes from the plate and back up to her. ¨you can eat, you know¨ she said, her voice stern and upright as a smirk played on her lips. She couldn't help but laugh, her white teeth showcasing while you sat there, nervous, suspicious, annoyed, but now, embarrassed. Was there no way you could beat her? Was she just better than you? That wasn't even the point, was she aiming to kill you tonight.

You shut out all of the questions, this was a shot to assert your dominance.your eyebrows furrow in a suspicious state and you placed your hands together. ¨why am I here?¨and you broke her laugh, her eyebrows raised as she cleared her throat. This time, you sat tall, your voice strong. Stronger than you thought it would be. She came back to sitting straight and took a sip of her wine once again.

¨why did you come back?¨ she answered your question with another question. You looked at her before wincing your eyes, ¨is this about paul-¨ before you could finish your sentence, she cleared her throat and flashed you a soft smile. ¨We haven't talked since the wedding, won't even have a child for the sake of his bloodline¨ she said, now she has become comfortable. Picking up her glass and moving it to where the liquid forms into a circle. You had nothing to say. ¨you're a very smart girl¨ she says, looking at the glass.

¨I am a woman, thank you¨ you stated, you sat up, she eyed you, her head slowly turning up as she looked at you up and down once again. The room fell quiet. Weirdly quiet. She studied you again and again, as if she was trying to find out about you. ¨do you have secrets?¨ she asked, picking up her fork and taking a bite of her steak. ¨doesn't everyone?¨ you replied. The way she bit the steak, man, you wanted a piece. You could feel your stomach rumble. She chewed and nodded her head. ¨is the reason why you came back a secret?¨ she asked, swallowing her steak.

¨i came back because paul is the one i love-¨ ¨he's changed¨ irulan cut you off. ¨lots of blood on your hands can make you a changed person, you'll see¨ she winked and pointed her fork at you. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, ¨how do you know if you guys haven't talked since the wedding?¨ you argued, but you didn't want to fight it off, you wanted to hear what she had to say. ¨you'll see it, in his eyes-¨ ¨everyone knows his eyes are blue-¨

¨it's not that, y/n. Hes….what is a good way to say this¨ she thought out loud. ¨grumpy¨ she finished, before taking another bite of her steak. ¨and by grumpy you mean what?¨ ¨lazy¨ she replies, now taking a bite of her mashed potatoes before she looks up at you. ¨How could he be lazy if he's been gone for two years trying to find me? You know, I don't understand you. What are you trying to get out of me? Hm? What do you want?¨ you put your hands on the table about to lift yourself so suddenly before irulan stood and told you not to move. ¨I ordered the guards to watch and if you make any sudden movements they will take you out no hesitancy, i recommend you sit¨ she says quickly. You look in her eyes, it showed genuine concern as her hand was on yours.

¨ So you're scared of me?¨ you lowered, she sat along with you before shrugging and drinking the rest of what was in her wine glass. ¨let's be honest, you could have taken me out the first time you saw me . irulan says, you say nothing as you watch her, ̈and the food is poisoned?¨ you asked. She shook her head no, all this time wasted, you could've been with chani, you could've left, to find paul,, but here you sat. ¨so once again. Why am i here?¨ you asked again.

¨I don't want to be weak to others, if Paul comes back, I don't want anyone to know about you guys¨ she answers genuinely, it seems as if she's quite tipsy. You chuckle ¨irulan. Everyone does,¨ this was surprising, and how could irulan possibly want you to hide your love for paul when that's all you've really known, even in public, holding hands, considerably long hugs, small and innocent kisses. ¨ Now if you would excuse me¨ you look up, around before slowly standing, leaving irulan where she was. She looked at you, watched you intently and her eyes sat fierce, almost telling you to watch your back silently. You let out a breath before taking the plate and the wine with you, exiting the door and now having to find your way back to your room.

What a shitshow in one day, you would've thought things went way different, and you thought about it in your head, the scenario you had as you continued to walk through the halls.

You ran to the walls of the palace, and the security guard finally smiled for once in his life, considering the usual role he had to play as the job. You imagined he told you, “Paul's waiting, go to your room” and somehow you just knew where the room was. You'd see paul, paul sleeping, wondering what he dreamed of, since he was sleeping such soft snores, his nose flaring only from time to time. His eyebrows relaxed, his lightly chapped lips parted, taking in the air and softly breathing out. He wasn't tucked into the bed- no only when you were there to touch him and hold him in his sleep. He was shirtless, you touched his arm and softly forwarded it to the side of his cheek and up to his hair. His eyebrows would furrow before he opened his eyes, and when he did he blinked twice. Oh you remembered this like your left and your right, he wouldn't believe it, he would be so desperate in such a good situation, he cried for it. You'd make love to teach others before the night ended how it usually did, with you holding him and running your hands all through his hair and you both fell asleep.

You were so stuck in the dream that you bumped shoulders with someone, you caught a quick smell of this other, they smelled of salt and sand and as they took another step, you heard the crunch from his shoes. “Sorry” you let out a mutter, it came out in a groggy tone, didn't sound like you usually do, you sounded weak, sad and it didn't help that your head was hung low. He let out a hum and continued walking, at this point, you didn't care anymore, your day was already bad. You continued to walk, stepping and not picking up your feet before you decided maybe it was time to try the mashed potatoes that were on the plate, before you heard footsteps running to you, you looked over, did irulan just send one of her guards to you? But as he got closer, you saw his eyes, hazel, just looking at you and staring at you whilst he ran. You dropped the plate but kept the knife that was on the plate and stood in position for the second time today.

As the unknown person ran to you, you tried to breathe faster, heavier to tell when they were close, there he was! Quick! His hands reached out to you and when he pressed his body to yours, there was a squelch sound, of the knife breaking skin. You looked into the eyes that were pouring into your own with fear on your face, had you just made a mistake? The hazel eyes piercing your own were in shock, also covered in fear and you heard his mouth become agape. What the fuck just happened? Who is this?

You reach up with your free hand as he continued to hold you tightly and leaned on you, letting out a mutter, ¨y/n¨ he let out, you took off the mask and, ¨oh my god, no…no no no¨ your eyebrows furrowed as your mouth became agape. You froze and your hands shook, guilt covering your body.

¨paul¨ you said, when he tried to talk, he coughed blood on your face, drops of blood on the side of your lips and on your cheek, you let go of the knife in your hand and his body weight completely leaned on you making you both fall down. ¨paul paul paul, no!¨ you yelled, ¨no!¨ this couldn't be true, you were washed of accidental betrayal. All the blood dropped from your head to your feet. You laid him flat on his back and he choked every time he breathed, ¨talk to me! Please keep breathing, please, paul, please, it was an accident!¨ you let out, you sat in his lap and looked at the wound, you wouldn't be able to take off his thick cover as a shirt without taking out the knife, the handle was too thick. Sniffles came to your nose as you let out a loud fuck. ¨c-calm..do-wn¨ he choked. You looked at him before ripping off your shirt and wrapping it around his both to apply pressure to the wound. You leaned up and put your hand on the side of his cheek, your hand covered in his blood as you pleaded for him to stay alive. When he started to be unresponsive, still breathing and looking at you, trying to speak, you called out for help, yelled out that paul atreides has been stabbed, the emperor has been stabbed!

Guards instantly came and ripped you off of him, they put you in shitty and gritty handcuffs that itched your hands, but you weren't focused on that, tears brimmed your eyes as you watched the blood continue to pour from his mouth, he looked over, his body jittering, his lips moving as he was trying to tell you something, ¨i-i..found..¨ his hand reached up to you. ¨paul! Please!¨ you cried, yelling, the guards pulled you away and you shouted, ¨i love you! Please, hold on! Wait for me!” you yelled, you tried breaking out of the guards firm hands but it was no use, and it was probably better that way, better to get him to safety. You sniffled again and your head hung low as they pulled you to wherever.

You traveled down the stairs, into this place you didn't know, but as you continued to walk, there were cells, prison cells. People in them looked desperate, starved. Tears continued to stroll down your cheek, why? Why out of all days, you are positive you just killed the love of your life, and you didn't even hesitate. They took off the cuffs and threw you in a cell, you fell to the ground and on your knees as the guards looked down at you from the other side of the gate. ¨just, tell me when he is alive…please ̈ you begged, looking up at them. One laughed while the other shook his head at you before they both walked away.

The cell was cold and looking at the marks on the wall, you could tell this isn't the place to be. You sat on the ground, knees up to your chest, you didn't want to eat, you didn't want to sleep, you just wanted to know if Paul was alive, it had been three days, men in the cells were picking at you, but you paid them no mind. Three shitty trays of food sat in front of you, a guard felt bad for you, telling you, you should eat something, but you just couldn't. You sat in the same position they left you in, lips chapped, body shivering, and you were sure you would never return.

Suddenly, you heard something from the intercom, clear as day, you looked up to the speaker in your cell, ¨excuse me¨ you heard them clear their throat, this was the time, to know if he was alive, you stood and paced, waited on them to speak again, anxiety in your stomach and a rock laid in your throat, you tried to push it down with your knuckles. You looked at the speaker, eager and needy. ¨our emperor,¨ they cleared their throat again…you put your hands on your hair, ¨hurry up!¨ you yelled, still pacing.

¨has fallen¨ a shriek left your lips, hurt washed through your body and you fell on your knees again. Prisoners cheered through the cells, hell yeahs, wooo!´s. You grabbed your heart as cries escaped your lips, your throat hurt, you screamed from the top of your lungs. ¨y/n y/l/n has murdered the emperor¨ your mouth only fell more and you covered it with the palm of your hand. ¨holy! Ain't that you?!¨ the prisoner across from you said, while pointing at you. You said nothing, but he laughed. ¨emperor got killed by a girl!¨ he joked, but then, people started cheering you on now.

You heard a chant of your name and it made your head almost dizzy. ¨no! Shut up! Shut up!¨ you yelled, voice hoarse, no one could hear you the way they screamed and cheered, smiles on their faces. You lost so much breath your vision was poor, but then you heard your cell being opened, you laid over, looking at the ground before you felt guards grabbing you from under your armpits and lifting you up, your feet dragged as they were forced to move you. You still heard others shouting your name. What was this? Where were they taking you? You couldn't focus on one thing, and when you closed your eyes, they stayed close.

When you awoke, your neck and wrists were restrained, when you opened your eyes and looked up, there was a crowd, filled with freman, your people, shouting kill her. Your eyebrows furrowed when you looked at your wrists, you were about to be beheaded. You shook and tried to get out of there. Others laughed and you looked up again. They stood chani and paul's mother, chani looked sick, this wasn't true. Irulan stood there also, a black veil on her head as she watched you, no emotion on her face, but then suddenly there was a smirk. ¨silence!¨ a man yelled over the crowd, ¨does anyone object to this death sentence?¨ he yelled over. You looked at chani, then Lady Jessica, your eyes pleaded, but the way they wanted you dead, if they tried to fight for you, it seemed like they would be in your situation also. Stilgar looked at you with a stern, hard and stiff look. All these people, all your people, just turned a blind eye to the love you and Paul shared, you didn't even get a chance to explain yourself, would you go out unheard? Your breath quickened and you tried to calm yourself, tried to make peace, but once you blinked your eyes, they never opened.

This was it, you were dead. At least you would meet him on the other side. Looking back on it, maybe this was meant to be, in a way, it was beautiful. The pair suffered when they were not together, but now they get everlasting peace and happiness. Maybe they would get married, walk along the green grass, dress in all white, have a few kids together. They had each other, through thick and thin, when they hadn't seen each other for years their hearts were still connected and thought about each other everyday. But this is the end. Lovers now turn into soulmates as they fade off in the air together, and never look back.

TAGLIST 🏷

@huh01011 @heartsforchalamet

#dune part 2 #paul atredies x black!reader #paul atredies x reader #paul atreides #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee chamalet x black!reader #timothee x you #paul atredies smut #timothee chalamet smut #paul atreides x reader #timothee chamalet series #paul atredies series #paul atredies x you #angst #betrayal #IM SO SORRY TO THE PEOPLE WHO READ THIS!

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benjaminthecoathanger · 2 months

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okay, because i saw a poll earlier and i thought the choices weren't clear enough and also the answers i saw to it annoyed me and also i'm curious:

NOTES:

I am including having watched gameplay of a game and not having played it as having watched the source material

In this context if you are writing fic/making art and you are not being commissioned to do so. This is purely for funsies

You getting into something because you saw a post/gifset/video about it and then watched the source material does not count. That's just how you get into new things.

Goncharov does not count because it's not real. I'll break kayfabe here I don't care.

#polls #look i got really annoyed by reading the tags of the since-deleted poll of people like 'did you forget goncharov hahaha' like.#that. that's not what was asked.#also like. i'll reblog posts of something ive not seen if i think theyre interesting/funny #but i don't count that as like. 'engaging in fandom" necessarily #bc to me at least fandom requires active engagement? and like im not gonna go hunting for like. leverage posts if ive not seen it #i also don't read fanfic like. at all. so i have no concept of how people read it?#like. i last read fanfic like 2 years ago bc i had just finished disco elysium #so people who read fic bc of the like. tropes or whatever like. i do not get it. im happy for you though #anyway. sorry i went insane i love u all #ben leaves the house #or doesnt. i guess in this case. a very Chronically Online Poll

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profoundmakerdreamerss-blog · 20 days

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Tomarry AU where Tom HATES this book he read because his favourite character dies a miserable death. So what if his favorite character was a no-named side villain? Why does it matter that he only had like seven lines (seven is Tom's favourite number anyways)? He was still gorgeous, smart and strong and beautiful — and it doesn't matter that others think he isn't all that because they would never know him— understand him like TOM DOES.

An AU where Tom has a healthy obsession with a character named Harry Potter, a no named baron's son who was the first to go against the king (MC's father, and the mc who is incidentally known as Draco Malfoy, ahem anyways); he tries to “poison” him. But he gets caught or to be more precise he ends up sacrificing himself for the common girl Hermione Granger (the female lead, I'm sorry guys but imagine the fucking drama.) who gets blamed for his transgressions.

But that is not why Tom falls for this weak villain, no — it's because he respects how this no-named orphan became a baron on his own two feet without anyone being there for him especially in a world where old money and title is everything— and he hates how he had to give his life for the MC to notice the female lead? (Harry is better looking and smarter than her anyways — Tom, in an online forum perhaps.)

Anyways, now imagine Tom dying (he hated it so yes he ends up looking for immorality anyways.) and waking up in the world he hated. Now imagine, Tom Riddle, waking up in the body of a Duke who wasn't even given a name in the novel. (He would know because he has a photographic memory, ok? It's totally not because he read it more than 14 times) and then saying fuck it and owning it.

Just think, Tom taking over the world slowly with his worldly knowledge while trying to keep Harry alive because even though he was right about Harry being smart; the guy treats his life like Draco treats his money - you get the idea.

#so yes #Tom Riddle but isekai's and tries to seduce the canon fodder #oh and he also takes over the world while he is at it #yes order is the main villain of the story tom read #Ron's family is still poor im sorry #Hermione can end up with Ron or Draco #it's up to you #but honestly i put them as mc #because draco is the signature blonde prince while Hermione is the signature smart brunette #like its a trope LMAOO #but dw Tom makes it all better #by being the bigger Villain?#haha. because guess what maybe Lucius was the main villain all along #ill stop #its just #its so like tom to fall for the villain in the story 😭#my man's probably hate read the story to shit on people because:#his harry deserved better #tomarry #harrymort #tom riddle #Harry Potter #also yes Tom still has black duchy's royalty #but he is the one who ends up winning Bellatrix and Barty #and yes Narcissa (the queen) helps Tom save Harry 🥰#Ron is still Harry's best friend btw and because of Tom now so is hermione :')

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kndrules · 2 months

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#okaaaay so.... im sorry about the watermarks- from what ive read this is best practice for protecting your art from ai #though i worry it wont help at all. i just want to try #ive never cared about people reposting my art but the ai stuff makes my skin crawl #anyway if for some reason you want the version without a watermark just tell me and i can email it to you i dont care who has it #knd #kids next door #my art #I JUST WORRY THE WATERMARKS ARE STILL NOT BLOCKING ENOUGH like i worry theyre too light. but i hate using them

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autistichedgehogs · 1 year

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did you know that when shadow the hedgehog said “if the world chooses to become my enemy, i will fight like i always have,” it was about him having a tummy ache (he was being very brave about it)

#shadow the hedgehog #sonic #he’s just like me fr (my tummy hurts)#fighting for my life rn x #jas.txt #ALSO hello people who read the notes of these: it’s finals week rn so sorry if im not around a lot o7

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choccy-milky · 17 days

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oh boy anon, you’ve activated my trap card. GET READY FOR A SEBASTIAN CHARACTER ANALYSIS ESSAY BELOW LMAO

ok so first off I know im obvs biased, but I don’t actually think my seb is that ooc, AND PUT DOWN YOUR PITCHFORKS IMMA EXPLAIN WHY. but im also gonna explain why I don’t think the other more friendly and lighthearted renditions of seb are ooc either. bc theres so many aspects of seb we get in the game that can be interpreted in so many diff ways, and so this is how i see it/landed on MY rendition of seb:

PROTECTIVENESS/POSSESSIVENESS: this is one of the main aspects of him, imo. his entire questline is about wanting to cure anne, and how he’s not giving up, and how he believes that HE is the only one that can do it, because “she’s MY sister!” seb is super tunnel visioned and has a one-track mind when it comes to this, and I headcanon that he’s this way because of their parents deaths. he’s the brother, the boy, he’s gotta be strong for his sister, and ofc when their parents died, he tries to comfort her and be there for her/be the rock, and it happens again when she’s sick. shes his sister, his responsibility, and he’ll die before he gives up on her and her safety.

SO, I just transfer all those aspects over to a romantic relationship instead. you just replace “shes my sister” with simply, “she’s mine/my gf/my wife/etc.” and in the same way I think seb tries to be strong and reliable and protect anne because he’s the brother, I think seb would be the same way in a relationship, because he’s a boy and she’s a girl and its 1890 and he’s chivalrous and he just sees it as his responsibility. I think the death of his parents and his dynamic with anne has baked this sort of mindset into him, and its even MORE intense in a romantic aspect, because then hormones and puberty and sexual tension and attraction is involved (plus the fact that seb in my fic is 17, so he’s older and has even stronger raging hormones and testosterone LOL.

JEALOUSY: who can forget the lines “between the two of you, I’m starting to feel left out” and “ominis simply needs a moment with you and he’ll change his mind. is that it?” the first one is more playful but I feel like the second one really showcases sebs brand of jealousy, and how biting and uncharitable it can be.

AGGRESSION/VIOLENCE: yet another iconic line with: “fine. but ominis knows, I won’t step back from a fight.” LIKE... the fact that apparently ominis knows this means its come up more than once…and im not saying seb is some unruly aggressor who flies off the handle at anything, but he defs has a capacity and is willing to get violent if HE believes the situation calls for it—basically the same way he feels about the dark arts. he felt justified using imperio to protect anne, and taking the relic to save anne, and so he would have fought ominis to get out of the catacomb. and with MY seb, while he doesn’t go picking fights with any boy who looks or gets close to clora, he’ll definitely be willing to beat up or lay hands on a creep who bothers clora/who is in the process of bothering her LOL.

SO YEAH, that’s pretty much it, and I’ll be the first to admit I definitely ramp up these traits further because he’s older in my fic and i think these traits would only get more intensified with age + being in love and also bc IM A TWILIGHT GIRLIE!!! what can I say. there are so many moments in my fic where you can just replace seb with edward and it wouldn’t seem out of place tbh LMAOO so blame twilight, it was a formative experience for me BAHAHA

BUT like I ALSO said, I don’t think peoples more lighthearted interpretations of seb are ooc either. because even all my earlier above examples, you can just focus on diff aspects of them. like his tunnel vision and obsession to cure anne? instead of seeing it as over the top protective and possessive, you can just view it in a more wholesome determined selfless sort of way. like I said we got so many nice little bits and ingredients of his personality that we can turn into anything we want, really👌just pick which flavour of seb u like best and use what we got in game to create it HAHA

AW TYY QUEEN BAHAHA💖 and aw im always so honoured when ppl tell me they consider my stuff canon that’s like the best compliment I can get, tysm 😭 and im glad you like my fic and art so much (enough for your friends and family to unfortunately know💀 LMAOO)

im adding your ask to this because it kinda ties into my seb essay. LETS GET INTO WHY A SWEET BABY ANGEL WOULD LIKE SOMEONE LIKE SEB. the answer ISSS: the same reason WE’RE also all into him I guess?? BAHHA

ok but to start off im gonna defend my seb, not only cause of what you said anon (i dont want you to feel like this is targeted to you!) but also bc I got an ask recently asking me to summarize seb and clora’s relationship since all they see from my art is that “they fuck and seb is possessive” LMAO, and I feel like ppl who JUST see my art and don’t read my fic have a warped image of my seb.

this may be shocking but I don’t consider my seb a red flag LMAO. I joke about how hes more of a pink flag tbh, but even THAT i dont even really believe, and don’t even consider him overly possessive. like yes he keeps an eye on her when shes hanging around other boys, but I feel like that’s normal (esp for 1890) and all of his most possessive moments have been when theres been a threat to cloras life/coming from a place of love and protection (especially since clora is so self-sacrificial, she’d have killed herself by now if not for seb LOL) so to me id actually put Sebastian as being PROTECTIVE as his first and foremost trait, followed by the possessiveness.

and yeah he gets jealous, but unless a dude is actively trying to get with her/hitting on her/harassing her, he’ll otherwise just kinda be unhappy about it/let it play out/ watch on unhappily LOL. and even when lawley was blackmailing clora and getting in between her and sebs relationship and lying about how close he and clora were, seb demanded answers from CLORA on what was happening between the two of them, but he didn’t touch lawley or tell him to stay away. bc seb thought that was what clora wanted, so he let her drift away. if he was TRULY a red flag, in this instance he would have just beat up lawley for taking what was "his"/not allow clora to leave him/immediately go to lawley instead of clora, and tell him to stay away despite what clora might want. (and clora even WISHED seb had interfered and done this. she was like 'why is he letting me drift away and go off with lawley i WANT him to fight for me...but she couldn't actually say anything thanks to the blackmail)

clora doesn’t just 'put up' with sebs more possessive and protective behaviour though, she actually likes it HAHA. just bc shes a precious baby angel, we all like a bad boy, even back then. just look at jane eyre, and how popular the dark and brooding and assholey mr. rochester was.

she tells seb at one point that she likes those things about him, even his immature competitive side, and his darker sides, and that he shouldn’t try to hide them or change himself because she accepts them. and even putting aside all of the stuff they’ve been through together that has bonded them (like the main canon quests + annes curse and then CLORA being cursed, and then clora being kidnapped and seb saving her) clora thought seb was roguish and charming and witty and intelligent and good looking from day 1. add to the fact that he’s just so devoted to her in everything he does, that even if he CAN get a bit overbearing at times, how could you NOT fall for someone like that😩 someone whose possessive behavior just stems from wanting to protect you and love you and want to keep you safe and cherish you like DAMN…. GET ME A SEB, TOO. WHERES MINE!!!😭😭

clora also realizes in ch 32 WHY seb is so protective of her (the trauma with his parents and wanting to be there for anne) and that she accepts it, and enjoys it, and that she might even MISS it if seb were to ever get less protective of her/might get lonely LOL, and then sebs like "i’ve "spoiled you, have i?"

so YEAH I don’t think sebs protectiveness and possessiveness goes into any toxic territory or red flag territory PERSONALLY (and the time that it DID get toxic was because of the relic, and clora DID put her foot down)

but my normal seb? whose dream in life is to whisk clora away into a tower and lock her up to keep her safe and keep her all to himself, but that he’d never ACTUALLY do because he knows its insane and unreasonable but jokes about wanting to do it anyway bc he would if clora agreed? clora finds that endearing and cute and is touched by how much he loves her and wants to keep her safe.

IN CLOSING: I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOUR AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

#LONG ASS SEB ESSAY #this was so therapeutic to write i hope that people who dont read my fic now understand my seb a bit better #like i said i feel like he gets a bad wrap/people think hes super ooc from his canon just based on my art alone #sebastian sallow #i wanted to write this ever since that one ask where they were like what do they do other than bang and be jealous HAHAHA #ANON MY FIC IS 500K WORDS THEY DO A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF TRUST ME #and even when seb is super possessive and protective im still usually on his side LMAOO #like just based on my art you defs might think seb is unreasonable but #for the ppl who actually read my fic they know clora is on like a self sacrifice speedrun LOOL #forget team edward and team jacob its team seb and team clora #and im usually a girl's girl but sorry clora im usually with seb and his logic when it comes to keeping u safe LMAOO #sebastian sallow x oc #ask

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cobblestone-butch · 11 days

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jus saw ur post ab sculptor etho muse joel, ik u got forcibly ejected from the writers room but if i make another writers room will u write it /hj

hey tysm! I ended up writing a little something so it will be below <3 this is mostly just Cleo helping Etho realise what might be going on with his struggles to sculpt. I hope people like and mostly that anyone who knows anything about art would write for it too (I know nothing!)

"So, first things first! Why do you want to learn to pose armour stands, Etho? Have you got a specific project in mind?"

There's an awkward pause.

"I only ask so I can get a good idea of what to focus on. It's just good if we start our work with something you're already interested in, right?"

She's never seen Etho look so... Nervous. Learning can be a vulnerable thing, sure, but Etho has never been shy with questions and comments and the unknown the way some people are. It feels wrong to turn to insults, light as they may be, to ease the attention - they're at a complete loss on what to do other than let him work through whatever he's feeling.

"Nothing, there's nothing... Specific I had in mind. It's... I tried sculpting."

"Okay that's good. That's great! What did you like about sculpting?"

"I didn't like sculpting."

Cleo laughs, a mix of confusion and genuine amusement, "Alright! So why do you want to learn 'armorstandography' then?"

Etho is still looking down, picking what she now suspects to be dried clay or quartz from his clothes. His shoulders drop a little from their previously hunched state though, which is a good sign.

"I just figured that maybe it would be easier. N-not that what you do is easy, I mean, you're clearly very skilled, and that's why I've asked you-"

"Etho, slow down, it's okay. I am perfectly assured in what I do and how much effort it takes. But still, I appreciate it."

"I thought maybe something with color would be more, familiar? I like vibrant colors and how they go together, and sculpting out of quartz is so... Lifeless."

Cleo shakes her head, "I won't teach you, Etho."

Etho snaps his head upwards, looking for some sign that it's some dry British humor he's missed. Cleo's face is even more stony than his recent attempts at sculpting.

"I won't teach you", they repeat, "Not for that reason. Color won't inject life into what you make, Etho. I won't teach you something that isn't true."

"Uh huh..."

"And besides, I don't think I believe you. I bet your sculptures have plenty of life in them." Cleo sees a frown pull on Etho's features, "Go on, prove me wrong."

---

Etho puts his hand on the door leading to his storage area. It's a big enough space for art projects, and it's nice to hear items sort themselves as he works, frustrated as he's been with the outcome of his endeavours recently. Cleo reads his hesitance immediately, and knows that Etho won't find comfort in their reassuring words. Here, at the doorway, she pushes past him.

She's drawn to her own face first. Sat on a block is her own head, looking back at her. She sees her own soft features, big eyes and strong nose. A dozen other faces around the room, and she can just about identify them as their friends. There's one off to the side, hidden enough to not drawn attention but not hidden too much, as if he's given himself plausible deniability for doing it. Etho's problem is not that his sculptures look lifeless. Etho's problem is denial.

It takes Cleo seconds to spot and minutes to confirm - there's only one sculpture amongst the collection that properly resembles the person it's modelled after. Every other head or bust has been affected by it, flawed in different ways but for the exact same reason. They all look a bit too much like Joel. It's in the furrow of her brow, the fierceness of Scar's smile, the curl of Doc's hair. Their eyes are all bright, smiles meeting them in genuine warmth, and Cleo can see even with just quartz how skilled Etho is at what he does.

Cleo isn't sure how aware Etho is that he's making them all in Joel's image, so they opt for asking something less direct, "What do you think the problem is? With these sculptures?"

"They're all... Wrong. I just can't get anyone right, and I'm not exactly going for artistic liberty."

Cleo laughs kindly, "That's not exactly true, is it? I can see one that's particularly uncanny."

"Uncanny valley?" Etho makes the joke before she can, but it's not what she was pitching for.

She walks over to and stands behind the sculpture of Joel. "I like this one. I've definitely seen this face before I've died a few times."

Etho laughs, and it stops the ever-shifting of his feet and the picking at his hands. He runs a hand through his hair, letting it rest at his neck as he rubs at it in slight shame. "He's, ah, a vicious one, Joel. He does this little huff thing, and it sounds like a tiger- he's always in some kind of mood and it's always so big, he can't do anything calmly or slowly, you've seen how quickly he builds, and, I just thought what's the most 'Joel' face I can think of? I remembered how he looked building that TNT cannon..."

Cleo lets him talk. It's nice, after all the awkward, to see him talk to openly about all the thoughts that went into the Joel sculpture. She can almost see what he means when he says the other attempts are lifeless; the animation in his voice when he talks about Joel makes everything else pale in comparison. She doesn't think he realises.

"Do you know what a muse is?" They ask after Etho has run himself out of steam, or perhaps noticed a conspicuous lack of interjection from Cleo, a usually very active listener.

"You mean like an inspiration?"

"Yeah! Well, sort of. In Greek mythology, the Muses were goddesses, and their domains included art of all kinds. And we've sort of derived meaning from that, so plenty of artists say they have muses that inspire them. And it helps them make art even if it's not always about them."

"Uh huh. So you think that I need to find my muse?"

"I think you already have, Etho." She looks down at the head between them, and Etho follows her gaze. Joel's eyes look back at him, intense and alive and challenging. He averts his gaze, something complicated settling over him - what they shared was so long ago, in a time and place so far from here. To feel the pull of that, it feels cosmic and mythical in a way Etho naturally rejects.

It's like Cleo can see through him, always. "It doesn't have to be complicated. It can be as simple as knowing someone well enough to capture a second of their likeness. That's what a lot of my armour stands do, they're just snapshots in time. Maybe you should just talk to Joel."

"Oh, I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"He'll be insufferable about it."

Cleo actually snorts at that. "Fine then, don't talk to him. Just make more excuses to send him mail and wait for an extrovert to bring you to his base to talk, or whatever it is that you guys do."

"You're not far off, Cleo."

"Oh, I know. I have to hear all about it."

"What?! The next time I see Scar..."

---

Joel stares back into his own eyes. The head was left at the gate to his base, like something the mafia might do as a threat. There was a single sign next to it: Feel free to alter or remove - Etho. It's incredible, seeing his likeness through someone else's eyes. He didn't know his hair was so fluffy, his smile so sharp. He picks up the head with a grunt (Bloomin' heck, is this thing solid quartz?!) and moves it somewhere it can be seen, before pulling a book from the chest under his mailbox and penning his sculptor a message.

#hermitfic #ethoslab #etho #smallishbeans #hermitshipping #could be read as platonic but i want to be safe :)#smalletho #boat boys #i miss cl.etho so much im gonna go rewatch sl #ty to the people who wanted this to exist it inspired me #i wrote it in one go in a hyperfocus state and then didnt read it over. sorry for any issues

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plulp · 5 months

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hey guys. remy design

#remy the farmer #dol #my art #sorry it took so long for me to make this #im watching live shows for one of my favorite music projects in the corner and i have to pause drawing to scream every 5 seconds #if i were in that crowd id be yelling. id faint. only but a dream to attend one of these #to the people that sent me another personality swap request also. i promise im not ignoring you but the one that said #''avery and eden swap would be a nightmare''#youre completely right. it is a nightmare. i cant think of anything #so if either of you have any more ideas or anyone else does then PLEASE help me im begging you all i can think of is ??? i dont know #i hope you guys like this remy though #i was worried about if it was good enough but special thanks to the people on my side account that told me it was fine #i posted fem remy there too if you want to see it #i think when i do fem vers of them all ill group them up because itll take me less time to make it since ill already have the design basis #and also i feel bad for spamming you guys #actually would you prefer i keep posting them one by one or should i post them all at once? for these designs #i feel bad posting separately because that means the people who rb my posts reblog like 10 separate design posts in a row :(#and i dont want them to spam their blogs because of me #but i do really really appreciate it when i see someone do that in my notifs :) so thank you a lot if you do #and also thank you to everyone who leaves tags i read each and every one of them obsessively like a freak #this is getting too long im going to hit the tag limit at this rate #ill try to work on the avery eden thing again #see you all later :)

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cemeterything · 1 year

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okay fine i'll read homestuck. whatever. i've cracked i can't take it anymore i need to fuck around and find out.

#🐉#james reads homestuck #btw i know some people have legitimate objections to it so im fully prepared for that #and im not going to be an idiot and just try to ignore that and bury my head in the sand #but im curious as hell and even if some of it sucks i want to understand why #its such a compelling and beloved story to so many people #and hell i want to actually understand why some of it is Bad (for lack of a better word)#and not just take the word of random internet strangers as objective truth without further investigation #because thats the opposite of using my critical thinking skills #if you think reading media with some shitty stuff in it makes you a Bad Person just by exposure well idk why youre still following me anywa #but yea heres your warning that i will become aware of homestuck if thats something you cant stand #even though the likelihood of me blogging about it is slim #and if i do ill probably like. make a sideblog so people who really dont like it can avoid it.#MAN. okay. sorry for the disclaimer im just worried people are gonna think im an idiot or something and send me condescending asks #or assume the worst about me as a person #because. internet.

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theshushdragonsleeps · 11 months

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So I'm pretty bad at expressing myself through writing cuz I'm pretty shit at it, but I can't get out of my head the scene of Jaiden comforting and confronting Roier during Festa Junina. It's the fact that Jaiden, through her own grief and self isolation, grabs a hold of a drowning Roier. Looking at him and truly seeing him and accepting him at his lowest point. Loudly declaring that he deserves kindness and love and she is his partner and that she is here for him.

And I believe she will not waver about her conviction and affection for him. And while she may need time and she may be hurt beyond comprehension, she will never actually leave him until the day she is no longer wanted. (Even then she will leave with kindness and understanding.)

In fact, until the day when one or both are ready to come apart and become their own person again, I believe that together they will be holding each other up. Unwilling to let the other fall despite their own pain.

And just, I love their partnership so much. I know other people in this fandom have been upset that Jaiden or Roier haven't been there for each other enough since Bobby's death, but I need people to understand that both are the type to self isolate when upset. Like Roier might still be a part of the bigger group and acting dramatic around others while Jaiden is acting fine with her usual silliness and then completely disappearing, but both doing the same thing. Both are trying to make a “joke” about how much of a mess they have become after Bobby died without ever having to open up and talk to anybody about it. Both are giving a show as if to say “I wont let you see how much I’m actually hurting because if you actually saw me grieve without my mask of silliness, I will become a burden and you will leave me”

And by god if I don't feel this to my very core which might be why I’m so obsessed over this. Cuz despite their own fear of being perceived and the feeling of becoming a burden or being looked down upon and used, they are still reaching out and offering others nothing but love.

Like if I remember correctly there was a time when someone (I can't remember who, sorry) asked Roier what he wanted and he said that he wanted someone to fully accepting him and give him a place to feel like he was being cared about, and to be the one on the receiving end of love rather than always being the one to reach out. And here is Jaiden with the sun rising behind her with arms wide open bathed in the new dawning warmth, only offering love and asking for nothing in return.

Bobby may have been their sunset, but together through the love they have for each other they are creating their own sunrise.

And just, ahhhh, sorry I know all of this was overly long winded and badly written and I'm deeply embarrassed by the fact that I can't write better than this but I wanted to try out being a part of a voice in the void of a fandom for once and get a little bit of my love for these two out there.

#qsmp #qsmp jaiden #qsmp roier #I've actually edited this down a lot and still feel like I'm not properly articulating myself #like there are things in here Im worried will come across wrong #or im miss remembering roier talk about how he wants someone to care about him #did i make that up??#ahhhhhhhh #im so scared so im posting this late when no one else usally posts to minamize who sees this #also i understand my gramer and uses of commas and periods are wrong #Ive always been bad at writing and I feel guilty making other people read it #sorry

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beybuniki · 3 months

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one thing i noticed (form personal experience and by observing other artists) is that the longer you draw and create, the more boring it gets to simply replicate references, especially when it comes to characers' fashion choices.

with bnha, i keep mine pretty simple and basic because teens ARE very trend-loyal, but mainly im just lazy lol, but when i AM motivated, i love to think about characters' personal style, what could influence them, but also more trivial things such as budget into account, which is why i love to draw Deku in basic tees or clothes provided by his school (while bakugo gets to wear ed hardy and shoto wears arcteryx). i also love to limit the items like its just more realistic to me when someone as ordinary as deku wears the same 5 crewnecks all the time

which brings me to my actual point, namely that the more frequently you draw, the more you learn to do research andto combine your findings into sth new rather than staying faithful to one reference, and i think that's what makes good art so good, being able to draw inspiratioin from all kinds of niches and creating something that feels very authentic and suspends the spectator's disbelief. sometimes i see art and i know exactly which fashion editorial or which kpop idol was referenced, and I'm not insinuating these are bad things i do that too (less frequently now but i sure did!), my point is it's kind of nice to see how ALL artist start out with rather derivative art but eventually move on to create more authentic art that is less about drawing beautiful and perfect people and more about trying to individualize them and that ALSO means giving them weird clothes, scars, asymmetric eyes, a receding hairline etc. like drawing the same beautiful character 200 times gets so boring and it's just more fun to try and make them a bit more human

#i do have a lot of fashion headcanons but i rarely actually draw like that im so lazy #and again im also still stikcing to references and sometimes pretty closely #but this is an observation that i like to think about #as i said i just love artists that draw from a big and diverse source of references and inspirations #and the same applies to other forms of art as well ofc #just because you enjoy one genre and want to write in that genre doesnt mean you should limit your knowledge and inspiration to that genre #its pretty detrimental like you have to read ALL kinds of things #otherwise it's hard NOT to create a derivative work #and you see that with a lot of mangas #like you can kinda tell which battle shonen mangkas are only into other battle shonen and which ones are well read overall #SORRY #or when people who only read fics write their first original story and its an apposition of tropes #my point is its important to dabble in all kinds of niches #dont aim for perfect skills in one niche i think its more fun and beneficial to give everything a try

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kaladinkholins · 3 months

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i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

okay note that nonbinary is an umbrella term, and applies to a vast range of gender identities, but it's my personal preference to use it as is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels. more power to you if you are though, but anyway.

essentially when i refer to mizu as nonbinary it means that i interpret mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that by nonbinary it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no one way to identify as anything, and everyone views gender in a specific way.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is an inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier, plus it's what the creators use, and because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my stance.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

#mizu blue eye samurai #mizu bes #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #sorry if this is redundant btw i just cant stop thinking thoughts :3 #btw i am a mixed* southeast asian who is also nonbinary. just in case that's important context #by mixed* i mean i'm asian+asian but diff ethnicities lol. i dont have a white bone in my body god bless<3 #my whiteness is purely learned thru cultural osmosis + bcs my parents taught me english as a first language (boooo 🍅🍅🍅)#also i live in the global south so i think EYE know a thing or two about being gnc in a society of rigid awful gender roles‼️#so likeee i think its ridiculous that its an either-or thing #mizu can be nonbinary while still being a woman of colour ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also ummm as much as i love queer themes and gay people i wish people would talk more about the racial otherness / community aspect #as mentioned in the post above #you don't need to read bhabha's whole book btw but just take a look at some of his ideas and you'll get what im talking about #like the fact that the fandom mostly ignores those themes in the story makes me feel like :( :/#cuz to me THATS the thing that spoke to me most and its a shame that its just not talked about enough #i mean i know why thats likely the case. but still.#whoops im rambling again 🤪#fandom.rtf #shut up haydar #meta dissertations.pdf

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