[ID copied from alt text: A digital bust drawing of Lumo (they/them), a NPC from my D&D campaign, set against a purple background with gray floral scroll patterned across it. Lumo is a young, thin, dark gray tiefling with short black hair with white bangs, gold eyes with no pupils, a pair of small curved horns, and white, faintly glowing, starry freckles on their cheeks. They are wearing a black jacket, the neckline low enough to partially reveal a star-burst shaped scar on their chest. They are in three quarters profile, facing to the viewer's left, but looking off to the right with a soft smile on their face. End description.]

Just been tumbling this blorbo round and round in my head lately so I had to draw about it!

Chrissy help how do you keep motivation for such huge writing projects?? I've seen you posting about abot for a long time but I just clicked it and it's got like 360k words. My guy you are incredible and if you've got secrets to share I'd be very interested. Major props to you

(ABoT)

I'm hoping to resurrect Dickinsonian-era "paid by the word" writing gigs and retire off ABoT Kidding! kidding! I make 0 dollars and 0 cents off ABoT do not sue me IP holders.

More genuinely it's a couple things I guess. One big and simple one being just--I really like the story. It's long because there are a lot of parts I like and wanted to tell. Another is spite, because for a long period of time between 2017-2020 I thought I would never be able to come back to the story so it's something of a "fuck you look what I made anyway."

But I really REALLY think the biggest part to this all was the (tough, but doable) process of learning to be okay with this story taking however long it's gonna take, and being however long it's gonna be.

Back in the days when Tumblr was really a hub for fandom, fandom attention was extremely fleeting, and when you had any of it, it felt like it was always moments away from vanishing. Tourmaline, my 80k Steven Universe fic, I wrote in the span of just over 2 months. I had a chapter out roughly every 2-3 days for that entire sprint. I'm proud of pulling that off. But my main motivation for doing that was absolutely the fear of losing people's attention and interest if I dawdled even a little.

Early-days ABoT was like that too. The first 9 or 10 chapters were all posted in intervals of about 2-3 days apart. I was staying up extremely late to do this which wasn't good for me and I was doing it because I was afraid of losing people's interest and I was getting more intimidated the more I realized how long ABoT would likely be. And then for school and life reasons, my update schedule absolutely had to slow. And I was having a bad time because it was like I could feel myself losing readers and losing relevance, and the backlash was growing, and even when I was finding the time to write I'd started burning out hard on my passion for the story. I'd get frustrated with my own plot and characters, and you can't write a good passion project while frustrated with the characters.

And then I kinda quietly admitted defeat because the stress and the backlash were too much to handle and I couldn't wring anymore of this from myself. After a 1 year, 2 years, I was pretty much sure my readership was long gone. I still thought about the story constantly! I still cared. I just figured I'd missed my window and would never be able to come back except to backlash.

Then just shy of 3 years, I said "fuck it, actually" and wrote the next chapter (okay it was a lot more complicated than "fuck it" but that would take too long to explain.) And in FACT, a ton of the readership came back! It was an extremely warm reception! And new readers, too. Just a lot of really warm, positive feedback. Which absolutely blew my mind because it was completely at odds with my feeling that things needed constant updates to cling to relevance. And the idea of "well if they waited 3 years..." has helped me a lot with allowing time and breaks between chapters. I don't burn out on them. I edit them more. My update schedule's been more like 2-6 weeks between chapters, rather than days.

Allowing that down time, letting ABoT be a steady jog instead of an all-out sprint, has been absolutely crucial to getting as far through it as I am. Even right now, it's been pretty long since chapter 45. I dove super deep into putting ch45 together and I kinda needed some time off after to decompress and step away to not risk burn out. Which was very needed and helpful and now I'm back to chugging through ch46.

There was an old comment, I think on Reddit, that I read years ago which has stuck with me ever since. Someone was recounting a conversation with a single mother who was considering going back to college to get her degree, but was hesitant to do so because she would be 40 by the time she graduated. To which the other person responded "You'll be 40 anyway."

And "you'll be 40 anyway" plays in my head a lot. Like, ABoT's been going for almost 6 years. Well 6 years were going to pass anyway. ABoT might not be done for x-many more months. X-many more months are gonna pass anyway. Time's gonna happen anyway. So I'm not worried about whether this thing is still going by then or not. I'm just keeping at it until it's done.

stupid shit that happened in my dnd campaigns so far

SO IVE BEEN PLAYING DND SINCE????? like either late last year or early this year. i'd wanted to for a while and when a classmate asked us all if we wanted to join her campaign. what was i supposed to do? say no??

and because every person i've played with over two campaigns is an absolutely ridiculous human being, we have Many silly happenings from both.

campaign 1:

Stromboli Ironfist: one of our players, a dwarf barbarian chef who started the campaign with the goal of being the best chef in the land but i think he kinda lost that over time. when he showed the name on his character sheet to the dm. she was in tears laughing.

Stromboli Jr.: the adopted goblin son of Stromboli, who adopted him immediately after killing his entire guild(? dont exactly recall). the matching names are, canonically, a complete coincidence.

housekeeping?: we were going through a dilapidated castle and every time someone asked us "what are you doing here?" in a new room, stromboli said ".......housekeeping?" and it. it never worked. except for ONE TIME. when a guard rolled SO LOW that they were just like "oh yeah we've been waiting on you guys!" So then we cleaned some cobwebs off the walls to keep up the act :')

throwing wolves in the fire: one of our players just kept throwing wolves in fires. that is all.

tormenting wren with milk: (wren is the character's name, not the player cause i didnt wanna put their name out there.) dm kept giving wren milk-related items and just would not stop. we were IN TEARS every time and. we ended up giving them a mcguffin of "The Strawberry Nesquik" at the end of the game. i believe that strawberry nesquik ended up being empty. the world is truly unfair to Wren Serpent. (also, wren was the one who threw wolves in fires)

Badger Milking Farm: THIS ONE HAS CONTINUED TO THE PRESENT DAY. during one of the times at which wren received a Milk Item, namely Badger Milk, he was extremely confused about the existence of such a thing. my character, zora, said, "what, you don't know about badger milk? some of my most formative memories are with badger milk!" this led to the canonization of the idea that Zora Grew Up On A Badger Milking Farm.

Campaign 2:

least productive session ever: first session of the new campaign! .....we spent the entire time beating each other up and failing to go through a waterfall that was Literally Right The Fuck There. before we had a single encounter, two of us almost died.

THE APPLESAUCE: dm gave us the name of a VERY IMPORTANT AND PLOT RELEVANT ITEM, we decided to butcher the name as "The Applesauce." no matter what she renames it. we will always call it the applesauce.

not-a-puzzle: this hellish nightmare was created by stromboli's player. we spent the back half of one session and part of another trying to figure out what the hell we were supposed to do for a """"puzzle."""" i said out loud at some point, "is there something obvious we're missing here??" to which the dm and stromboli had to try very hard not to laugh. one player then decided to ask, "can i just go??" she tried the door. and. IT WASNT FUCKING LOCKED. i have a grudge i will hold for all eternity from that

zora's glasses: so the new campaign is centered around a new band of heroes trying to mend the things that our old characters royally fucked up. so we're getting to meet our old characters! and when we met zora (on the badger milking farm, mind you) she asked us to find her glasses. i told the dm that i wanted the glasses to be a pair of new year's eve novelty glasses for a year that has not happened yet. and so, that is what they became.

that is all i can think of but if i remember more. i will put them

What We Do in the Shadows: The Roast (5x08)

Oh my god, this was an AMAZING episode.

Cons:

I feel bad for continuing to harp on this, but The Guide continues to feel like such a wasted character! I like the performance, I don't think it has to be this way, there could be some really funny stuff here! But instead it's the same joke again and again. It's like she's the Jerry from Parks and Rec or the Toby from The Office. But this show didn't really need that, they're all a bunch of losers, and there's already the vampires treating Guillermo like he's disposable to fall back on as a joke? I don't know. She had plot relevance this week, but it feels like we could have done this without her.

Pros:

Lazlo's ennui was really funny, the way he keeps dismissing everyone's attempt to snap him out of it... one of the funniest exchanges was right at the top, when Nadja and Nandor were talking about Lazlo lacking interest in his old hobbies: Nadja - "We are down to like sixteen fucks a week." / Nandor - "We're down to three". And Nadja reaches out and puts a hand on Nandor's arm, in horror and sympathy to hear something so terrible! That really made me laugh.

Honestly, this episode was laughs all the way through, I can't even pick favorite lines from everyone. But I loved Colin's failed roast of Lazlo, I loved Nadja saying that maybe dying wouldn't be so bad, and Nandor being like "wtf" and then Nadja being like "I've just been going through a lot lately."

The main plot here is that the Baron discovers that Guillermo was the one who accidentally burned him up a few years ago, and he wants revenge. As ridiculous as all the antics were, I was also genuinely moved by Nadja and Nandor both begging for Guillermo's life and trying to dissuade the Baron. But at the same time, they're all worried about Guillermo killing the Baron, because he's the origin of their line of vampires, and his vampire descendants might die as well! What a fun and twisted web of allegiances. Guillermo doesn't try and kill the Baron, in part because it puts his friends at risk. And yet his friends can't let the Baron kill Guillermo either!

Things are... sort of resolved... when Guillermo tells the Baron that he has renounced his vampire killing family legacy by becoming a vampire himself. The Baron finds the whole situation with Nandor not being the one to change him kind of hilarious and he's also sympathetic to Guillermo because of it, so he calls off his vengeance. And then... Guillermo accidentally burns him in the sunlight again.

Genuinely, the sight of Nandor clutching Guillermo's sweater, and then his grief when he sees "Guillermo" dead on the ground in front of him... I'm sure the whole fandom is celebrating hardcore. It was so much. Pair that with the utterly callous way that Lazlo guts the corpse, to show everyone that it's not really "Gizmo", but one of his clone experiments gone awry... this show is utterly ridiculous in the very best way.

The sweet Guillermo and Nandor moments don't stop there. When Nandor finds Guillermo hiding in his coffin, after thinking he has fled never to be seen again, he asks him questions to make sure it's the real him. One of them is, what's in the card you gave to me the first day you were my familiar? And Guillermo quotes it exactly, with Nandor mouthing along. "To be a vampire is my dream, but to be your familiar would be my honor." What the heck kind of high romance? Amazing. I can't believe next week we're going to see Nandor find out about Guillermo at last. Everyone's been building up again and again how Nandor will be forced to kill Guillermo and then himself. I wonder what's going to happen!

Turns out, Lazlo's strange mood was just because he was trying to figure out how to alphabetize his books. I love this gag as like... a fun example of what longevity and immortality might really be like. You can afford to just space out for a couple weeks to make a decision if you like! There's so much time stretched before you.

It was so funny to see Doug Jones as the Baron, sans any weird crazy make-up or prosthetics, only for the episode to involve him getting all burned up and disfigured again. I guess he's back to untold hours in the makeup chair any time he's on this show! I love it. I also loved how the Baron accepted Guillermo as a vampire right away, in a way the others who are in the know haven't quite done. He's all-in for his fellow vamps, and now he's got a bunch of Guillermo animal clones to hang out with at his place!

I'm not ready for this season to be over, it all happened too quickly! This may be the best episode of the season.

9.5/10

Writing Question Tag

thank you sm @janec23 for the tag! sorry for taking ages on this.

gently tagging: @halfbit, @vollzz, @scribbling-stardust, @leisoree, @your-absent-father, @magicicada-lbwrites, @clairelsonao3, @soiledcat, @mjparkerwriting, @aspiringfictionwriter, @ruinmegently

questions at the bottom

1. What is your absolute all-time favourite ideas you’ve ever had?

Honestly, I don't really know. All my favorite ideas I usually use for a wip and I don't really have a all-time fav.

2. Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

Lately I've been seeing worldbuilding posts that say something along the lines of "do you know have to know every little detail about the world? is it relevant to the plot to know exactly which plants grow in each season? if it isn't, you don't have to figure that out." (plant thing example). It's a great reminder that sometimes the nitty-gritty details aren't needed and that worldbuilding can be more manageable.

3. What is your favourite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

My favorite part of being a writer is the storytelling and the adventures that I can make the characters go on. I enjoy daydreaming about the adventures and coming up with ways they would tackle different situations. What I don't enjoy is finding the precise words for each of those situations, especially the important lines. I tend to forget the words right when I need them which makes the entire feat annoying and the first few drafts will have tons of bracket placeholders.

4. What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

I love the process of creation and getting caught up in the mess of ideas. One of the greatest motivations is getting inspired or new ideas. Lately, I've been drawing and reading more and generally trying to balance all of my creative passions more which is something I haven't done for literal years. It's both exciting and strange at the same time. I still create and get into the mess of the/my process which is the best part for me, just in a different way.

5. What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

Use brackets [ ] as placeholders when you're writing in order to keep your flow. I've depended on this for my initial drafts for my wips since it's the only way I can make sure I can keep writing without feeling bogged down with details that I can fill in later.

6. What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

It's okay to write scenes out of sequence and then piece it together afterward. If writing chronologically dampens your creative process, writing whatever scene comes to you is okay.

7. What is your favourite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

Nothing yet so far. I've posted one chapter of you still would've been mine but I'm not really happy with it.

8. What is your favourite out-of-the-box quote?

I don't really have any favorite quotes. I do enjoy clever or inspirational lines but I don't think about them often enough to remember them.

9. Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

Rowan Reyes, 100%. They're anti-capitalist, anti-government, anti-rich, to just name a few movements. They're incredibly passionate and motivated and don't let things like government confidentiality stop them. I feel like this is a lot more radical than most people believe and the topics would definitely start arguments at family dinners or on twitter. Personally their ideals are a lot more intense than mine but it's something new to explore. It's very suited for their role in their story along with their society.

10. If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

I would be surprised at my career path and would be surprised that I read more fanfiction than novels lately. I used to be REALLY into reading and so the shift in what I read would be surprising. Also, I'd be surprised that fanfiction exists point-blank. It's what I wanted as a kid but I didn't even imagine that it would be possible. Oh and that I transitioned. (again, something child me didn't even imagine to be possible)

question template::

1. What is your absolute all-time favourite ideas you’ve ever had?

2. Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

3. What is your favourite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

4. What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

5. What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

6. What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

7. What is your favourite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

8. What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

9. Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

10. If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

long rant (+question) about jonathan from stranger things

disclaimer : NO ZIONISM OR ZIONIST-APOLOGIZING HERE. this show has been in my life since it came out and carried me through middle school and high school. i still love it to this day, especially s1 and s2 (i don't have that same attachment to s3 and s4 idk why. i didn't love them, didn't cry, nothing). i have been watching reactions to s1 lately and i love seeing people speculate about the demogorgon and the plot (you know by now how much i love watching reactions to my favorite shows). I was reminded of a few feelings i've had for a while now. i DON'T encourage you to watch it on netflix- no money for schnappers- and tbh i've never watched it on netflix because i never really had a subscription. despite everything, it's full of nostalgia for me and holds a special place in my heart, and you have to admit it is an amazing show (s1 and s2 only. s3 and s4 are fan-service and the scope is too big and the characters lost a lot of their charm)

ok! disclaimer over!

i have a genuine question

i know that jonathan taking pictures of that gathering at steve's back in season 1 was a plot device to get evidence for the demogorgon, and so that nancy sees it, but other than that : what the hell is his justification?

he didn't go into the woods with the INTENTION to stalk on steve, nancy, barb, etc. he went there to.......take pictures of the ground? looking for some kind of hint or footprints??

like what???

the pictures displayed on screen aren't pictures of anything. you'd think he'd go with a flashlight or something to FIND SOMETHING and have his camera ready IF he did -- but he just went there with his camera and started clicking away. to me that doesn't make sense.

also, after he heard the scream and realized it was just carol, why did he take pictures? in that short time he can't have thought "i am capturing the essence of being a teenager having fun cause that's like artistic" or something. he can't have thought "i am keeping these cause i'm so unpopular and i wish i was there and i'm gonna take dozen of pictures of these people that don't like me just so i can fantasize about being a normal teenager"

dude you were in the woods at night alone, taking some kind of risk to be honest, searching for your missing kid brother. that can't be on your mind. it would've made so much more sense if he dismissed it after he realized what the scream was, and maybe came back after he heard a strange noise coming from the pool area, when barb was sitting on the thing.

and he's TAKING PICTURES because it's unusual

and barb and the group HAPPEN to be on the pictures-- so it still seems strange to nicole (?), and she still snitches to steve inc.

steve still breaks the camera, nancy picks up the ripped photos, etc etc.

that way! jonathan is not just a creep!

what do you think? do you know what the duffers were doing?

long ranty sidenote : i think jonathan is very underrated in s1, and the writers dismiss him completely in later seasons - until they just completely write him off to focus on his goofy comic relief friend.

charlie heaton is a great actor and i think about the funeral-related fight he had with joyce a lot.

jonathan has a cool passion (photography) that is USEFUL to monster/paranormal/scary plot. so he is a great plot device in that regard. he also acts as a mentor and a great big brother figure for will, who needs an understanding and caring male figure in his life to fill his father's void. so he's also very plot-relevant in that way when will is the center of the story.

but otherwise - there's a few things i want to say about his character that i feel are important and often underappreciated details about him

he's a relatable loser who's bullied at school. maybe that's not interesting on it's own, but he is unique in the set of characters because unlike mike, lucas, dustin and will, who are bullied losers that DO have each other, he is a true loner. and that aspect of him is not handled in a "boohoo pick me" way.

his dad fucking sucks ("you're getting stronger", he struggles with his tie at the funeral, he looked in THE TRUNK OF HIS DAD'S CAR FOR WILL! i don't see enough people pointing that out. the fact that it's a possibility blows my mind)

he's forced to take on the "man of the house" role for his family, forcing him to take night shifts, drive his brother around, take care of his brother's funeral alone, take care of his mother, etc. it's a heavy responsibility and it drives him further away from "normal teenagehood" cause he doesn't have much time to think about himself, and he doesn't have anyone to reassure him, to take care of him like he takes care of his mom or brother. no nancy doesn't. count. argyle doesn't count either they had nothing in common and he was just there for comic relief

he is dealing with a 22 year old charlie heaton's receding hairline! i feel bad for him! and then the writers decided to cover it up with A BOWLCUT for s3 and s4 i was so so :( like cover it up with anything else. get a toupet and stick with the season 2 hair.

i wish the duffer brothers didn't throw a blunt at him in season 4 and run with that. they could've talked about hsi relationship to drugs in a different, more meaningful way.

also sidenote if i was attracted to charlie heaton i would 100% be attracted to jonathan. except for that hairline. maybe we could get him a trip to turkey or something and then i could read fanfics about him.

hey, do you have any advice on how to like... get into duel links late, or do you know anyone who does? i played the game for a bit at launch but stopped bc reasons, but some of the stuff ive seen people talking about since then of the story of the game itself and such seems really interesting... but it seems like a lot of that stuff has been stuff that played out in events which im assuming are not available anymore

god i wish I could tell you there's some good concrete youtube videos that go over the whole timeline and break down the lore and such but!! there really ISN'T. AND IT'S VERY FRUSTRATING. There's some videos that read over some of the conversations from more recent events/talking about VRAINs' world potential specifically, but there's rly nothing broad because apparently no youtuber is keeping track of this 🥴 UGH.

But you're right, Duel Links "lore" as it were is primarily sprinkled into character unlock events, and after those run twice you can't just pull them up and play them again. However there are some tumblrs I've found that do a pretty good job archiving the dialogue from those events/some of the screenshots from them! Which unfortunately as it is rn is kind of the best it can get.

Thewittyphantom's duel links tag is tremendously valuable to me when I need to go read over old event conversations from stuff I missed/played so long ago I don't really remember. Lots and lots of transcribed cutscenes and some screenshots.

fortuneangel's duel links tag is also a good resource for older events. Lots of screenshots of conversations and some reflections on plot development!!

again, there unfortunately isn't really any concrete laid out timeline for all of this that I know has been made (I've been trying to comment on and point out any new lore developments that happen in events as they happen, but even I don't really have a good grasp on what lore got relied before I started playing in 2021), so if you want to really dig deep into it What All is Going On you do have to sort through some old event conversations and sniff around for any reddit or tumblr posts of people talking about it. As for getting back into the game itself, that part isn't too too hard!! If you're willing to learn any new summoning mechanics that have debuted since you last played, at least keeping up with the current events and progressing through ingame duels isn't really gatekept at all, you can pick it back up and play pretty easy at any time!

I've also noticed, for as insane as the lore gets, whenever new "plot relevant bits" drop, the characters do make a bit of a point of mentioning offhand things we learned last time, presumably to help the audience recap it, or help new players follow along without too much trouble! So that's useful at least. It's a bit like how characters in the show(s) will discuss things that happened in the last episode pretty frequently. At the end of the day the lore in Duel Links is secondary to Konami Wanting You to Play Yugioh the Card Game, so they want new and returning players to have an easy time figuring out at least the light gist of what's going on. broadly speaking.

ANYWAY I hope at least some of that is useful? :0c If anyone else has any good reddit posts that go over the DL lore or any other useful resources, drop 'em in the replies below! Good luck out there!

Luna's Review: Code: Realize ~Guardian of Rebirth~

Official Summary:

Venture into a reimagined steampunk version of 19th century London. Follow the adventures of the poison-skinned maiden Cardia, the men trying to help her, and the mysterious organization intent on capturing her.

Experience a visual novel adventure brimming with literary and historical characters including Victor Frankenstein and Abraham van Helsing. Will Cardia find love, or destroy those she cares for? Her story is in your hands.

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(Spoiler-Free) Luna's Thoughts

This game was ok! It wasn't the trainwreck that was "even if Tempest," nor was its storyline as convoluted as "Cafe Enchante." I liked the historical figures and other fictional references, and the art was lovely.

A small thing that annoyed me is that they keep referring to Cardia's skin as "poisonous." I believe poison has to be ingested, so it would be more correct to say she is "acidic," but I guess that's not very charming to say lol. There are also a few plot points that seem a bit silly, and I didn't think the true end character necessarily deserved that role.

But overall, this was a solid game. The steampunk London setting was cool AF and I enjoyed the emphasis on airships and steam power. All the routes were pretty different, and though I would have liked to see more crossover between them, none of them felt extremely out of line like in some other games I've played.

I wasn't excited enough about it to bother with the ample supply of bonus content on offer, but I did like it and would consider playing it again in the future.

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(SPOILERS) Common Route

Honestly, Cardia's backstory is the weakest part of the game as writers scramble to explain why she can't wear normal clothes or stay in one room for long. She can't eat with normal utensils, for example, but nobody is concerned that she might melt through her bed because her hair covers her back and her hair isn't poisonous for some reason. Some details were given a lot of thought and some are just explained away with "science" that happens off screen.

None of that is truly an issue, but I feel like it could have easily been more streamlined to say, for example, that Cardia can melt living things. That would still have the effect of making her isolated, alone, treated like a freak and unable to interact with humans. But it would do away with some of the more contrived details such as how she avoids melting into the ground.

The scene that should have been one of the most emotional — when Cardia tells the story of how she was trapped in a cave and accidentally killed her mother figure — ends up feeling frustrating, as you yell "just melt the rock!" at the screen the entire time. She does, but not until too late. "But she didn't know she created toxic air!" you say. Ok, but surely she didn't want to sit in the cave indefinitely? She could have just started work to melt the rock immediately. Maybe the result would have been the same, but at least it would seem more logical.

I thought the first choice to ignore Lupin's offer, which dead ends the game as Cardia sets out on her own adventure, was very funny. I also liked how she starts becoming more expressive as she spends time with her boys. My favorite part is how it shows her gaining skills and learning to fight and defend herself. That's refreshing compared to some other series where the protagonist is always being protected.

Below follows some thoughts on the actual routes, in the order I played them.

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(SPOILERS) Impey Barbicane

What I thought was going to be my least favorite route ended up being my favorite. Impey is the flirt archetype, and also the genki character of the game. His route was the lightest, as he carries the least baggage of all the characters, but his sincere nature got to me.

Unfortunately, his flirtiness makes him annoying in other routes. Like, boy, I'm romancing someone else, back off!!

I do wish Impey being a vampire was more relevant to the game in general. I know that angsting over the fate of the vampires was more for Victor, Helsing and Delacroix II, but having Impey be a vampire was basically thrown in for shock value and didn't end up being super relevant.

I did think Nemo was an extremely fun villain and his design and speech pattern are so unique. He was a good foil for Impey, as they have similar reasons for becoming engineers, but he becomes the typical "mad scientist" here and takes everything a little too far.

I'd say Impey's route was the simplest of the five, but for that reason, I also thought it was the most solid, and the one that left me with the least questions.

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(SPOILERS) Saint-Germaine

Call me nitpicky, but Saint-Germain is the character with the most baffling design choices IMHO. His hair is ridiculous. He only wears half of his coat the entire time. He has watches all over his arms that seem to do nothing. Truly some odd decisions were made during his creation.

Aside from Victor, I'd say his route was the most angsty as he rebels against his job and his nature to save Cardia. Unfortunately, this results in him being off screen for a lot of his route as he kills his way through the other members of Idea to save Cardia.

I thought the whole route felt a bit overkill-y. This is a man who essentially caused the Black Plague, who knows what one bad decision can do, and yet instead of choosing to stay by her side and defend her, he abandons her to preemptively fight the other Idea members, none of whom are given a sprite except Guinivere. (Side note: I adore Guinivere. Easily one of the most rad characters of the game.)

What's stopping any other of the Idea members from attacking Cardia while she's left defenseless? It falls apart under scrutiny. Perhaps this is because Saint-Germain's attraction to Cardia was the least convincing for me. I just didn't feel much of a connection there.

I do love how you basically only see his eyes on his route. It makes it all the more threatening when you do. And despite how critical I'm being, I did think the concept of the Apostles of Idea was pretty cool. I just thought it was a little far reaching for the framework of this particular game.

While one of the more interesting routes, I'd call Saint-Germain's route the least romantic.

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(SPOILERS) Victor Frankenstein

Personality-wise, Victor is my favorite character. He's got baggage but desperately wants to reverse the damage he's done inadvertently. And he's so sweet and wears glasses! I did want to know what was up with his headphones but they're never addressed.

Victor's route is the one where you have to deal the most with Queen Victoria, and at least for me, this kind of ruined her character for me. You learn she was the instigation behind a lot of dark incidents and has an even darker one planned that basically equates to genocide. While in the true ending she fesses up and seems to have grown as a character, it was hard for me to get behind her again after seeing how needlessly cruel she was in Victor's route.

I absolutely adored the development of the Queen's relationship with Leonhardt in this route. Honestly I ship them more than most of the characters in this game with Cardia. Even if you want to interpret them as having a more father-daughter relationship, it's still really sweet. He clearly cares so much for her and just wants to guide her down the right path.

But back to Victor. I like that, despite being the gentle nerd of the game, he can still fight in his own way, and even teaches Cardia to do the same. It was nice to see him come out of his shell and become more confident as the game progresses.

Victor's route was solid and his relationship with Cardia is very believable. After all, he's done so much for her. He's the reason, in every route, that she can eat with the boys and wear different outfits. Cardia returns the favor by forgiving him for being involved in her creation. I did think the brief "is Victor my father" storyline was pretty funny. I mean, he kinda is though.

All in all, one of the better routes in my opinion.

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(SPOILERS) Abraham Van Helsing

Man, I wanted to like this route more than I did.

Van Helsing is the closest thing to a tsundere in this game, so I thought I'd like him and saved him for last before the true end. Unfortunately, he's so cool and collected that he rarely breaks, and he comes across as cruel a lot of the time, even when it's revealed that he's doing so to keep Cardia out of it. She's kept at arms' length so much that I didn't feel the relationship developed naturally. She isn't present for a lot of the conversations, either, though we do get to see them off-screen.

Helsing's route is also the one that's least connected to the rest of the storyline. He's got a few tie-ins, most notably to the Vampire War, but his dealings with Aleister didn't relate to the overall mission. It felt a little disjointed to me.

I also thought we'd see more of Delacroix II in this route. I figured it would be Cardia helping the two of them become friends. Delacroix needed to learn that Helsing regretted his actions. But we honestly don't get a lot of that. I also figured it would be more angsty, with Helsing's death wish being relevant, but again, that didn't come up a lot.

I do find it extremely endearing that he can't cook to save his life. And I feel bad that his is the only route that ends without him being able to touch Cardia.

I don't think this was a bad route. It just wasn't what I was expecting so it made me a little disappointed.

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(SPOILERS) Arsene Lupin

Lupin's route was ok. My gripes are mainly the same as with the true end of Collar x Malice: I don't think he's fitting for a true end character.

Not only is he visually the least interesting character, but his backstory is also not particularly interesting or impactful. A lot of stuff happens on his route just because it's the true end, and we have to wrap up the game. Lupin himself isn't particularly relevant to that.

He's a nice guy, sure. You can't help but like him and his positive attitude. I think his route is the one that most treats Cardia like a human, but this comes at the cost of not allowing her to do a lot. This could be seen as a positive, I suppose. She's spend most of the other routes convincing other characters that they should be forgiven, so it's fitting to have the final route involve forgiving Cardia herself for being created.

All in all, the game wraps up pretty well, and it felt like a suitable end for everyone. I just wish Lupin was a bit more interesting of a character.

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(SPOILERS) Side Characters

Here, I'm going to comment on a few side characters in the game.

Finis

No notes. Flawless character design. My theory for why he looks like this is that the original Finis and Cardia were both female. Maybe this is explained in the bonus content, idk. I've heard his hair donuts are part of the headband and not his actual hair. Either way, adorable. More male characters like this, please.

Herlock Sholmes

Upset this character wasn't a datable option. Perhaps that's for the bonus content. Either way, I wanted to see more of him. I thought he'd be more relevant in Lupin's route, and you do get to learn a bit about him, but not enough IMHO.

Queen Victoria

Who approved this outfit? I just wanna talk... Seriously, this is the worst sprite in the game. I get that her whole thing is about bees and visually there are a lot of honeycomb references, but surely we could have a black and yellow outfit that doesn't make her look like she raided an antique store.

Happy (slightly late) STS!

Do you have a specific genre you like to write? If so, what is it and why?

Alternatively, what's the story you've done the most worldbuilding for?

Happy (very late) STS!

I mainly like to write fantasy because I love the sense of wonder magic and other-worldly things can bring. There are plenty of stories about the real world. There are real stories all around us if we look hard enough. However, I feel as though fantasy not only is fun to write and read, but can give people hope and a renewed interest in life. People should never stop imagining. These kinds of stories have been told over centuries. Folktales, mythology, even ghost stories all exist because someone imagined them. We long for the existence of something supernatural and extraordinary.

I also love worldbuilding because there are so many little things that make a world what it is. I haven't made my own alphabets, but I took ones that I've seen and applied them to different races I think would use them. I've made my own calendar with different months and constellations (and stories about said constellations). I made a magic system (albeit, a janky one), a history of union and war between kingdoms, a religion and a creation myth for one world, a pantheon for another. I probably like worldbuilding a little too much, but that's okay. It's what I'm good at.

p.s. - You don't need as much as I do for your story to be good. You don't need to have everything figured out about your world or your characters. I never understood those posts where it's like "You should answer ALL these questions about your world. You need a culture, beliefs, politics, etc." No you don't. You only need what's relevant to the plot. In some cases for my stuff, quite a bit of it is needed. (Granted, maybe not an entire pantheon, but I needed some sort of system/hierarchy). Same thing with characters too. You don't need to know every single detail about what makes them tick. Maybe just the basics: what drives them, what are they afraid of losing, those sort of things. Everything else is fluff and should live in the headcanons of your readers.

Sorry for the long post. Just my two cents :)

Hiya molls! I realized in the tags of my reblog of in the in between (omg I never remember fic titles but I KNEW that one wow it's cuz I love that title) ANYWAYS It occurred to me that I haven't publicly declared my love for you or cyberbullied you in a while. So here I am!!! I have a couple of things. Number one is that I bought a water bottle today that is The most violently vibrant shade of violet and it makes me think of you. Number two is that I think in the in between felt so real precisely because it had no plot the way most other fics do; real life doesn't have arc plots. Real life is linear. Outta sight, outta mind. And that's what you wrote so perfectly. Lately I've been thinking about the existence of other timelines where I've probably said batshit things in public and been all around more unhinged. Is it possible for me to have gotten where I am, which is where I want to be (I think) and have been a little crazier? I'll never know. Have you ever felt like you're right where you're supposed to be?

ahhhh adri @cringeycal i have missed getting asks like this from you in the middle of the night. i know you've been very busy with stars and a normal sleep schedule so u know...sometimes you have to sacrifice anon asks.

when i first read about your violently violet (nail polish name) water bottle i interpreted it as the water being violet and i had a lot of questions, but now that i've sorted it out i'm very glad you think of me every time you hydrate.

i'm very happy you like the title of in the in between bc i'm terrible with titles. that doc had so many working titles and none of them felt right. that's normal, though, i almost never feel like my fic titles are right and i just have to live with it. but then i was listening to wfttwtaf for approximately the millionth time and that little tidbit of baby blue jumped out at me. i'll pass your compliments along to luke; i'm sure he'll appreciate it since he knows you're a hard sell.

you are a very perceptive person so it is no great surprise that you make a fantastic point about plot. real life doesn't have a plot. stuff happens, and it's never really clear exactly where it starts and ends; sometimes it never does. there's usually no grand climax or resolution, and if there is, you only really realize it in hindsight, not in the moment.

this is probably one of several reasons that as both a consumer and a creator i tend to favor characters and relationships in stories over plot, but i have never really thought about it so directly in this specific way before, so thank you for that.

interesting thoughts on alternate realities and it's like, way too early for me to make sense on the topic, but yeah it's sort of crazy to think about. we've all had these moments where we really WANT to do or say something but we don't for one reason or another, and how might things be different if you'd done the thing?

you probably would've either been emboldened to do the thing (or other similar things) again, or had a bad enough consequence that you never wanted to try anything like it again out of anxiety or fear. and in either case, that winds up creating a different version of you than the one that actually exists, just based on that outcome! sort of insane.

but i like this framing of it as being right where you're supposed to be. because even though i clearly have things i could work on as a human, there are definitely times i think...wow, life is very strange and i never would have guessed i'd be in this specific situation but it's exactly as it should be.

a relevant example: answering this ask from you.

a year ago i was here, reblogging stuff quietly and not interacting with anyone, only starting to consider the possibility of maybe writing a fic, obsessing over fics from people like meg and jess and not having anyone to talk to about any of it.

but look at how things are different now! jess actively bullies me! i've met people like you who i love and can talk to about the thing i love and more! the fact that i've had meg to talk to these past couple of months with all the luke solo stuff is all the evidence i need that i'm right where i'm supposed to be at least in one specific way.

as i say that i realize i sound absolutely unhinged framing, like, big life questions around a blonde guy with an album but i figure it all counts in one way or another. because even if i weren't here i'd still be insane about it, now i just get to be insane with other people.

well that was certainly a way to start the day.

i love you adri thank you for forcing me to address existential questions at 7am. :wrymouth:

i just watched the first episode of siege in fog because of your posts about it and i'm extremely confused but also extremely onboard. i don't know if this is a weird question, but is there anything about chinese history or dramas that you can tell me that would make it less confusing? this is only the second period cdrama i've watched (the other was bu bu qing xin) and i'm totally lost where the history/culture is concerned.

Oooh, I love this question!

OK, this drama is set after the end of the Qing Dynasty but before WW2, so in either 1920s or 1930s.

So, a brief relevant history bit - after the Qing Dynasty was brought to an end in 1912, ending over 2000 years of imperial history, China became a Republic. Which was awesome except that almost immediately, a bunch of rival warlords emerged and plunged the country into a civil war, fighting for large or small slices of the pie. The situation only got worse when Japan decided it wanted China for itself. Eventually, the Japanese were driven out (largely because of Chiang Kai-Shek, the man who lost the fight for the rule of China to Mao, and got away to run Taiwan. Though for obvious reasons, mentioning his role in the fight against the Japanese is not a thing politic to do with the current Chinese government.) After the Japanese left, as I mentioned, there was a fight between the Communists (led by Mao) and the Nationalists (led by Chiang Kai-Shek) for control of China. Mao won and the People’s Republic of China was established in 1949.

To get back to Siege in Fog specifically - it’s set in either the late 1920s or early 1930s. It has to be set before the Japanese were invading all over China but after the warlord struggles have been going on for a while, since the patriarch of the Yi family has been a ruling warlord of his territory for quite some time. 

The story drops us in the middle (it does give us a few flashbacks later, but it’s not flashback heavy) so I think what you need to know is this - The Old Marshal, aka the Yi Patriarch, has been the ruling warlord of the province for a while. He has rival warlords (Li and Murong) who want pieces of the pie. He is one of the regional warlords - i.e., he has no interest or ambitions of trying for all of China, he just wants his local piece of it. The stuff you see in the first ep, is Murong Feng, the heir of the Murong warlord, trying to stir things up with the Yi family because hey - that’s what warlords do, they fight each other. 

Yi patriarch has three sons - oldest was his heir until he had an accident that put him in the wheelchair, and now the baton of heirship and control of the private army has passed to the second son. Third son is our male protagonist (also unlike the older two, he was born of the concubine and not main wife - he has some issues because of it due to social status implications btw.) 

Pls note something about naming traditions that you see in many Chinese dramas - male Protagonist gets referred to by his actual name (Yi Liankai) and his courtesy name (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtesy_name) of Lan Po.

OK, to get back to the plot - two years before the start of the story, he married Qin Sang, our female protagonist. I am not going to get into details as that’s plot spoilers as opposed to basic structure, but I can provide if you want. They do not have a great marriage, as I am sure you figured out. He did not force her to marry, but she had her heart broken by someone else AND resented having to marry him for his family’s influence out of duty to her family. 

Her ex is a member of Tiang Meng association, a fully fictional group who is anti-warlords.(The author made them fictional and gave them no recognizable ideology to avoid potential censorship issues she’d have if she used a real group.)

Final quirk, which may not be important, but I find fun - Qin Sang’s father passed the imperial exam with very high score back in the days of the Qing Empire, which was a mega cool thing back then and guaranteed him an excellent post in the civil service back then, but the world changed and now you see all these older characters (dad, the military adviser who got killed in ep 1, some characters you meet later) who passed that exam with high scores and there are still vestiges of how impressive it used to be because it gives them a sort of status, but it is of little practical importance because society has been upended and they need to find different ways to make a living and fit in. 

Hope this helps and pls feel free to ask more or just to chat about SiF!

Minnie </3 Mickey arc scenes

I couldn't sleep (it's literally 5:30 in the morning) so I thought I'd write about my favorite mice, because why not? This quick note is more for myself than the relevance of the story; I feel like I can just let go and be myself when I write for Minnie, but when I write for Mickey I get a little stressed - I guess I want him to more intensely demonstrate the good qualities I find within myself and I tend to project onto him what I want a potential boyfriend/husband to be like, which is difficult because both of those things I can only magnify in bits and pieces considering I haven't really met a real-life person like that to watch develop and go through a variety of scenarios. Mickey isn't necessarily relatable in my mind, he's a bolder representation of my own good qualities and the fantasies I have of men. Anyways, onto the actual interesting part. These are kind random scenes and plot points I've been thinking about lately, I'll probably give some background and a timeline of these scenes eventually.

"If I can't choose you, I choose no one," Mickey shouted at Minnie, both mice glaring at each other from across the room with their tails sharp and their fists clenched. Almost as soon as the words left Mickey's mouth he regretted them; how desperate did that sound?! 'Does it matter, since deep down we both know how we really feel for each other anyway? It is the truth, I know I'll never want anyone but her,' Mickey thought to himself as he bit his tongue for the painful truth he wished he could've lied about for just a little longer. Unable to meet Minnie's gaze, Mickey turned towards the door and slammed it behind him as he left, walking fast and hardly noticing his surroundings as his thoughts swirled around this explosive argument. 'Why is she being so difficult? Why can't we just be happy and hit happily ever after?' Mickey continued to think. Mickey's brows furrowed even further and he bit his tongue even harder as he thought about how difficult and turbulent he also made their relationship, out of fear of having his heart destroyed again. He didn't hear the footsteps behind him so when Minnie ran up and gripped his arm he jumped. Her amethyst eyes leaked subtle streams of glitter and her lips quivered, but she gripped Mickey's arm so tightly - and he knew she both literally and figuratively would not let go of him. Mickey's heart suffered a sharp pain from this and glitter burned his eyes too, though he fought hard to keep his eyes from watering his cheeks. Minnie buried her face in his arm as she silently wept. "Why do we love making ourselves miserable?" she asked helplessly. Too emotionally exhausted to dispute his inclusion in her question, Mickey shook his head. "Love and misery are equally powerful but opposite extremes," he said. They stood there in the hall like that for a moment before Mickey relented to his emotions and used his free arm to cradle Minnie. Minnie continued sniffling and sobbing into him, and Mickey finally let a few tears tumbled from his eyes too. He really did like making himself miserable; better for him to do it to himself than for her to do it to him - that was his logic. And over the course of this past year filming a story about this exact dilemma, Mickey was slowly starting to see how flawed this logic was. Minnie pulled her face from Mickey's chest and rubbed her face. Mickey couldn't help watching her, just like deep down he knew he couldn't help falling in love with her, and he sniffled. He shook his head hard and clenched his jaw tightly. "I'm sorry," Mickey said, letting all of his guilt and remorse and love and joy tumble into a very mixed moment. "I know I love you and you know it too but-" "But what," Minnie interrupted, suddenly angry. Mickey got a little angry too. "But I said it once and you destroyed my heart," Mickey said, his words feeling like acid in his mouth. "I'm sorry Mickey, I told you over and over, and I've done the best I can to prove to you my feelings are real -" "You can't even say it," Mickey interrupted bitterly, bringing the conversation back to where it started. "Well you can't either," Minnie said wearily; as angry as she was Mickey was right, she won't let herself say it either. Mickey raked his hands through his hair, frustration dominating his fear, hurt, and bitterness. "What do we want?" he asked sharply. "Do we want a life with each other?" Minnie grit her teeth. "You're asking rhetorical questions." "Then say it, Minerva," Mickey spat. "Why should I ask risk saying the same thing I said before that lead to the worst days of my life?" Minnie took a deep breath then glared Mickey right in the eyes, his glare just as intense. "I don't want us to hate each other," she said with a huff, tears still streaming down her face. "I want the misery to end," she said exasperatedly. "But I don't want to say it because I'm mad at you," Minnie added softly after a few deep breaths. "I don't want to say it in bitterness either," Mickey admitted. They sat close together taking deep breaths for a while. "How 'bout we make a deal," Mickey finally said after

several deep breaths from both parties. "So that neither one of us feels.. on the spot. At the ball, we meet somewhere at midnight, to say what we have to say. We won't mention anything or argue about it until then. If one of us doesn't show, we'll never revisit this,' Mickey suggested, his tone dark with hurt at the possibility of that last bit happening. "I promise I'll say what I need to say," he added, his heart thumping in his throat. "No excuses, no resentment, no guilt - just open, honest conversation," Mickey demanded - more to himself than to Minnie. "I promise," he said, and not once did he ever break a promise, and of course Minnie remembered this. Minnie nodded. "I promise this too. If I'm there I'll say what's on my heart," she agreed. Mickey extended his hand out for her to shake, and Minnie did. The mice helped each other to their feet, and without another word they walked down the hall, their own bodies demanding they get together by how gravity seemed to force their hands to occasionally brush each other, which of course elicited a flurry of bashful apologies. Upon reaching the corridor where their tasks required them to part ways, Minnie stopped Mickey. "Love and hate are not equal to each other," she said contemplatively. "The hate just looks strong because of the lack of love." Mickey stared at Minnie, and when their eyes locked it felt like the whole world just disappeared. "I deserve your hate," Mickey said without thinking. "And so do I," said Minnie. "But would we give that to each other?" Mickey swallowed. "I don't deserve your love," Mickey admitted. Minnie smiled slightly. "And I don't deserve yours," she admitted also. "I could never hate you," Mickey whispered. "You want me to choose but I can't help what I feel for you," he continued. "I tried fighting against it but I can't help it, I have no choice and I don't want to choose anything different." Minnie's smile widened just a bit. "Well, you know what wise men say about those who rush in," said Minnie. [["Let them talk, I'm a fool," said Mickey. "But are you a happy fool?" asked Minnie. "Not yet," said Mickey after a moment.]]

["Maybe we thought in misery was the only way we could be together," he said lowly. Minnie gave into her emotional exhaustion and burst into tears; tears of her regret, of her frustration towards Mickey, of her desperate yearning for him, for his deeply scarred hurt that she herself had caused. Mickey felt some of the few remaining layers of his walls melt and disperse into tears. Mickey fell to his knees, and Minnie followed, and they just held each other as they rattled and wept. "I'm sorry," Mickey whispered, too tired to continue holding up the fortress to his soul for much longer. "I'm so sorry," he continued. Minnie numbly shook her head. "I'm sorry I broke your heart," she said shakily. "I'm sorry I've been so desperate to choose something we already had." Minnie swallowed. "I don't know what's wrong with me," she whispered. Mickey patted Minnie's head. "Nothing's wrong with you," he said sternly.]

...

"I don't get it," Minnie asked Mickey inquisitively from the dining bar as Mickey grabbed a post-workout beverage from the fridge. "How can you just jump into doing something like that? H-how are you never scared of anything that comes our way?" Minnie asked in disbelief. Mickey looked at her and shook his head. "I never said I wasn't scared," he corrected. Minnie blinked. "So why do you do it? How do you go in full force without fear getting in the way?" she asked, still incredibly intrigued. Mickey shrugged. "It's the right thing to do," he said simply, like going up against monsters and villains and ink blots and cult organizations was just a simple matter of virtue. Minnie shook her head in amazement. "Does anything scare you more than not doing the right thing?" she asked seriously, bewildered such a brave soul could exist. Mickey abruptly stopped swallowing his juice. His sparkling emerald eyes looked to the floor from the corners of his lidded eyes, contemplating how honestly he should answer her question. "There's one thing that scares me more than that," he said softly as he screwed the cap back onto the bottle of the juice, not meeting Minnie's gaze. Minnie blinked and her eyebrows furrowed deeply, unable to read Mickey's emotions. Mickey clenched his jaw before continuing. "The mere thought of it makes me shiver," he continued softly, darkly, his mind and heart torn for the 360th consecutive day in a row but in agreement just this once that he dare not speak his fear aloud. "What is it?" Minnie asked quizzically, Mickey's quiet voice and dark face unsettling her slightly. Mickey finally looked back at Minnie and her blood ran cold as his irises bore into her soft amethyst ones; were her eyes really made of the geode they surely would've crumbled to bits by the intensity of the emerald gems looking at her right now. Mickey swallowed quietly and shook his head. "Don't worry about it, I'll never let that nightmare become real," he said, and the seriousness in his voice tempted Minnie to cower and hide. 'Why was he so intense with this conversation?' Minnie wondered. Just as quickly as Mickey had gotten so serious, he lowered his intensity and looked to the bottle of post-workout as he shook it to better mix the supplements and flavors together. "And actually I'm not a big fan of horror movies either - you know that didn't change about me," he said nonchalant with a very slight smile, like his guarded answer wasn't anything significant. Minnie blinked several times and her brows knitted closer together, her mouth slightly agape in both amazement and alarm. She watched Mickey wipe more sweat from his face with his towel and resume drinking his juice, but no matter how hard she squinted she just couldn't see past what he was showing her; they both knew he had his walls up with military-grade material. Mickey went to the fridge and began pulling out ingredients. "I'm gonna make some pancakes, you want some?" he asked Minnie without looking at her, his tone even and emotionless - if only Minnie knew the emotional turmoil and chaos spewing between Mickey's head and heart, and if only Mickey let their souls say and feel what they've been waiting their whole lives for. "Sure," Minnie answered softly, something sharp and stinging threatening the corners of her eyes. Minnie's sad reply would've felt like a bullet to Mickey's chest were he not so determined to protect his heart - was that what it was? Was he protecting his emotional pride, or was he just scared to fuel the sparks between them, or was he so badly wounded he just couldn't jeopardize his very reason for being destroying him from the inside out? Even Mickey didn't know, and with his head and heart battling and hurting and desperately trying to heal already, he didn't have the emotional capacity to attempt figuring it out.

Would you mind explaining why you see Ouma as "definitely, undeniably confirmed gay"? The only evidence I know of is him saying he "likes" Saihara after he leaves the VR world, but that's in the context of strangling people to keep their eyes on him, which may be a dark joke about Miu's death. Additionally, I've been told the word he uses could also mean "interested in/fascinated with" as well as "like". Could you clarify? Thank you!

Ouma is confirmed gay because his line about Saihara is pretty undeniably romantically inclined, regardless of context. It’s also completely unskippable in the plot. Unlike bonus mode content such as the RPG or love hotel scenes, or even FTEs which are also optional, Ouma’s interest in Saihara comes up canonically in Chapter 4 no matter what the player does.

It’s also something he says on screen without anyone else around, even Saihara himself. Without any other characters around to listen in, there was no point of the scene other than to illuminate the fact that Ouma was clearly interested in Saihara beyond the point of just “casual” or “friendly” interest. 

The comment about strangulation requires a little more explanation, since it’s simultaneously a dark joke foreshadowing Miu as you said, but also Ouma himself noting that precisely because he was so interested, he wanted Saihara to stop allying himself with the others. He felt they were only tying him down and becoming too complacent by relying on Saihara’s skills as a detective and not thinking for themselves, and felt that precisely because Saihara was both competent and capable as a detective and interesting in that Ouma himself couldn’t figure him out, he wanted Saihara to ally with him.

His comment isn’t particularly a surprise considering Chapter 4 is where Ouma begins committing himself far too much for his villain role. His fixation and interest in Saihara was beginning to surprise even him because teaming up with someone or wanting them to ally themselves with him was not something he had planned or accounted for at the beginning of the game. Ergo, his comment is very much about wanting Saihara to “only have eyes for him,” not only in the romantic sense, but because he could not work with Saihara as long as Saihara was still trusting everyone else in the group too. Ouma refused to trust them all, because trust in a killing game was something he was incapable of–but Saihara he was beginning to be willing to make an exception for.

However, none of this changes the fact that while alone, and while thinking about Saihara, he specifically uses the words “suki ni natta hito,” or “a person I fell in love with.” These words are very much associated with love confessions. While “suki” certainly can mean to “like” something, the phrasing is very explicitly romantic in this context, and they do not carry any implications of a slight or casual interest with them.

“Suki” on its own can either serve as a confession of liking/loving someone, depending on how it’s being used. You can use it to say “I like [something]” as in an object, for instance. But among high school students, especially high school students to each other, it has a very particular romantic connotation. Pretty much any love confession in a stereotypical high school setting in typical manga or light novels is going to feature the protagonist saying either “suki” or “daisuki” in order to confess. What’s more, “suki ni natta” implies to have gradually fallen in love with someone over a period of time. It’s considerably more loaded with meaning than “suki” would be on its own.

The fact that this was left in an unskippable, extremely plot-relevant scene means it’s clearly being presented to the players as a fact about Ouma, and something that should be considered relevant and important to his character. Even though Saihara himself wasn’t around to hear these words, the player got to hear them. Which means that this was an important enough fact about Ouma that the game felt the need to showcase it even without any other characters, even the protagonist, around.

Not only that, but considering FTEs and bonus mode content are meant to supplement additional information about the characters, and considering in Ouma’s FTEs especially he makes even more explicitly romantic remarks about having “stolen Saihara’s heart” and “being someone who Saihara will never forget for his entire life,” it’s very clear that he does not want to be “just friends” with Saihara, since all of his one-on-one interactions with Saihara in-game lead to these kinds of remarks and comments.

People can interpret Ouma to be lying if they would like, but again, we’re given plenty of indications in canon that Ouma doesn’t lie to himself when he’s alone. It doesn’t make sense to interpret any scene where he’s by himself, speaking to absolutely no one and not even putting on an act for anyone, as a lie--because there’s no one for him to lie to.

Interpreting his words as a lie also doesn’t add up with his actions or fixation on Saihara. Saihara alone is singled out on his whiteboard in Chapter 6 too, as I’ve discussed. Where the rest of the group was divided into culprits and victims, or else a pool of suspects who he believe were possibly the ringleader, only Saihara was moved to the side and marked as “someone he couldn’t figure out.” And it’s always when Saihara acts in unpredictable ways which he finds interesting that he particularly becomes happy about being around him, whether it’s in plot-relevant scenes such as investigations or trials, or in his FTEs or prison mode.

Saihara’s words in Chapter 4 were the only things that stopped Ouma in his tracks and actually impacted him when he was in the middle of playing the villain, too. Whereas Ouma didn’t really care what anyone else in the group had to say to him, he was very much surprised to find that he did care about what Saihara had to say–precisely because he had become far too invested in him and fixated to him to the point where he had gone too far in trying to force Saihara to stop teaming up with “people who were holding him back.”

Saihara calling Ouma out on his behavior and saying that he was acting pathetically and that he would always be alone actually, seriously impacted Ouma. He cared about Saihara precisely because Saihara had become someone he had fallen for, and that’s precisely why he was particularly disappointed at the end of Chapter 4 and throughout Chapter 5, because he had thought Saihara would be capable of seeing through his façade but ultimately wasn’t.

There’s no way to read into Ouma’s expectations and fixation on Saihara and his actual confession, as well as all the lines in his FTEs and bonus mode content and interpret anything Ouma says about Saihara as anything that’s meant in a casual way. Many, many of his lines are extremely romantic in context, to the point where it stops being something that’s just “accidental” or “a joke.”

In much the same way that Juzo’s feelings were constantly alluded to and many charged remarks loaded with meaning were included over the course of dr3, Ouma has similar lines about Saihara the whole way throughout ndrv3. There are plenty of ways to read into Ouma being interested in other characters besides Saihara, too: after all, he shows plenty of interesting interaction or even potential for interactions with characters like Momota, Amami, Kiibo, Himiko, etc. But his feelings about Saihara are explicitly, canonically stated, without being played as a lie or joke at any point in the entire game, and that’s pretty much the definition of confirmation that he’s gay.

I hope this did clear things up! Saihara’s feelings on Ouma are certainly not a confirmed matter and there are plenty of ways people can read into it how they’d like. But Ouma’s feelings about Saihara are much more explicitly confirmed, and I feel like that’s worth noting considering how important his interest with Saihara is towards understanding why he acts the way that he does.

I’m certainly not claiming that Ouma acts in the best way–he doesn’t, and he messes up quite a lot in being torn between wanting Saihara’s attention but also wanting to stick to his plans of not trusting absolutely anyone. There is potential for Ouma and Saihara as a dynamic, but in-game, Ouma certainly messes up beyond the point of taking back, and Saihara was never able to fully understand Ouma until much, much too late. Still, Ouma’s feelings are very much there and explicit, and I feel as though trying to brush them under the rug or say that they’re not intended romantically when they very clearly are is the same kind of misguided attempt at turning a blind eye to these things that happened with Juzo initially in dr3.

(1) Hello! I've seen many of your posts and meta and love your analysis of the story/characters, and with everything happening (or not happening) on the show lately, I was wondering if there is a point throughout the entirety of the series that you think they started to go off the rails? For me, S4 felt like a hot mess but finished with a fun finale and a great cliff-hanger leading into a fantastic S5A Camelot arc which could have easily been a full season. Since then, I feel like things have be

en on this downhill spiral with the writers not really knowing what to do with these characters anymore, rehashing the same storylines/drama/angst. They created such rich, dynamic characters throughout those first three seasons, and now they seem to have forgotten how to write for them, or perhaps it’s boredom. S3 seemed like it would have been a fantastic series finale, everything was, for the most part, wrapped up tidily with happy endings all around, and I often wonder if perhaps that was

the intent, not anticipating needing to write more and that’s why things have felt so off/forced ever since? Obviously not looking for answers on behalf of the writers, but curious as to your take on the progression of the stories as a whole. Seemed like things were done very deliberately early on, but not so much anymore. Perhaps it’s just me though and I missing something that a rewatch of the season/series as a whole will reveal, like the writers did indeed know exactly what they were doi

ng and where they were headed the whole time. Thank you again for sharing all your metas and posts, and for any insight you can provide with my very long and rambly question! :)

Wow! First of all, thank you. I have very much enjoyed writing about this show over the past few years. I’m delighted to hear that it’s provided some amusement to others in turn. :)

I’m not sure it’s possible to pinpoint “the” moment when things went south. I feel like there’s more than one factor at play.

First, I think they had a multi-year skeleton plot for SOME of the characters at the outset. They obviously did for Emma. I will grudgingly consider the idea that they had a plan for Regina, however little I enjoy the results. If they had one for Snowing, they threw it out when Ginny got pregnant. Rumple I’m not so sure about. I don’t think that plan was enormously detailed, though, at least in the later years; I feel like they’ve been winging it more every season.

This has led them to a bit of a stop and start pacing problem, like when 5a had everything in the universe crammed into it and 5b dawdled along without doing much, and now S6 has been largely spent treading water. They’ve run out of meat for Emma’s story. For Regina it seems like the idea they had, they did not execute very well, while Rumple’s current plot is something of a retread of his origin story.

So that’s one problem. I have sympathy for this one. They had no idea when they started it how many years they would have to tell the story. Pretty difficult to spread out your plots evenly in that case.

On a related note, most of the world-building has clearly been done just-in-time, leading to the rampant inconsistencies we all know and love. This one I do not have much sympathy for. It annoys me. These problems are largely avoidable. .

Second! Disney meddling was clearly A Thing in 4a, like holy shit what were they thinking. The episode summaries on Wikipedia are telling in their length. They are impossible to summarize, because there is too much going on, and the stories don’t mesh well at all. (I’ve got meta analyzing the problems with that arc as an entity, so I won’t go into that here.)

S4 also seems to be when the story… disconnected from itself, to some extent? I didn’t hate 4b like some people did, but I feel that it suffered a lot from that “just in time mythology” practice. So much of that arc felt off the cuff and clumsy - and none of it has ever been referred to again except in passing.

Remember back in S3, how rooted everything that happened was in the recent history of the main characters? And now we’ve got drive-by appearances by characters who are supposed to be incredibly important – Ingrid, Maleficent, Chloe, Lily, Hades – many of whom by rights should fall under the “family” umbrella that ties the show together, but have never been mentioned before, and will never be mentioned again.

This is a form of lowering the stakes, of reducing the consequences to the characters as a result of their choices. If life-shattering events happen on the regular and no one in the story even notices, the audience stops caring, too.  

Maybe 4a threw them off their stride, I don’t know, but it seems like they never quite recovered afterward. They have had great episodes and decent arcs, but they lost something. Adam and Eddy in particular have done a worse and worse job with the episodes they personally write starting with the 4a finale.

Which leads us to problem number three, in the current writer’s room. I haven’t seen Lost, so I have no idea what their writing was like in that series. I don’t know if this is a case of people who need editing not getting the constructive feedback they need, if they’re distracted by other projects, if they’re bored, if there was some change of personnel that had a major ripple effect, or what.

They wrote some fantastic early episodes. They were grim (“Heart is a Lonely Hunter”) and quirky (“Dreamy”) and they brought the story home with a bang (“A Land Without Magic”). They wrote my all-time fave “New York City Serenade,” for Pete’s sake.

And then S4 happened, since when they have written some of the hands-down worst episodes of this show. “Heroes and Villains” was an incoherent mess (which I actually took it upon myself to rewrite). “Dreamcatcher” was meh. “Swan Song” gleefully trampled over acres of relevant show mythology, relied on dubious characterization, and stated its own theme out loud five times, sign of a timid writer. “Souls of the Departed”… had some issues, and the less said about “An Untold Story” the better (for my blood pressure). And so it goes.

They seem determined to own the start and the ending of each season, but those episodes seem less and less connected to each other and to the rest of the story. The S3 finale was a thematic capstone of that season, based strongly on family, home, and new love. The S4 finale was fun, but sloppy. Since 4b was already thematically dubious, the connection to the preceding arc (you make yourself) wasn’t strong, and there was no unity at all with 4a. The S5 finale wasn’t even fun and literally had nothing to do with the stuff that preceded it. So while the S3 finale worked *because of* S1, the ones since then have felt increasingly less like part of their own story.

Ironically enough, the S3 finale that was supposed to be all about not changing anything in their AU is the only one of the three that was actually allowed to have any consequences, even if they turned out to be stupid consequences. The stakes have diminished every time.

To put it bluntly, at this point they don’t seem to know what they want to *do* with the story. They’re running out of important development points for the characters, and filling in with enough padding to open a couch factory. Cause and effect appear unreliable. They are recycling entire scenes from the same actual season – did no one notice? did someone notice and not bother speaking up? did someone get overruled? ‘Cause none of those are good things.

Character dynamics sound the same notes as they did two or three seasons ago. That’s jarring, because this is not otherwise written as an episodic, time stands still kind of show. They’ve always had a problem with writing toward an effect they want rather than figuring out the effect from the causes, but it seems to have gotten worse over the course of the show. It gets even worse when the characters appear to all have recurring amnesia regarding their own recent lives.

So… yeah. I don’t know what happened to them in S4, but it seems like that’s when they got off track, and it’s been getting worse.

Some negativity to start the day. :) Thanks for all the kind words. I am sure the S6 post-game analysis is going to be intense!