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inkdrinkerworld · 3 days

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hi! i saw you were taking requests for post prison spencer, so hey

i was thinking about spencer meeting a kinda sunshine reader, and it’s like…love at first sight. she’s literally the one to make him smile for good

feel free to add your magic to it, and to ignore it, don’t feel pressure at all!

have a good day/night <3

babe you guys are saving my life with these requests right now! I'm feeling so good about everything I write again <3 enjoy sunshine!reader x post prison!spencer who looks less tense and serious around you

You’re at his desk, sitting there all perfect in your orange button up and flared pants, Mary Janes clicking on the linoleum tile as you tap your pen against your lips. Your hair is scraped back into a ponytail, the plait brushing the spot between your shoulder blades.

Spencer had asked about you to Penelope, asked about your personality, about how you work- all the important things. What he didn’t ask was if you were gorgeous and Penelope, who loves to divulge, had never said a thing about your looks.

“Hi, you’re Y/n right?” Spencer’s standing before you, not realising how intimidating he must look till you jolt in your chair.

You’d been trying to get your morning crossword and read in before the day had officially begun, a habit you’d been trying to keep up with since you started the job. So far it’s been going- the crosswords are boring so you have to pretend to be distracted by it to let it last a bit more than four minutes.

“Oh sorry, I am. You’re Doctor Spencer Reid,” you lean back in your chair, not bothering to hold out a hand to you. Penelope had grilled you on his aversion to germs and touching people more than needed. “I’m sorry about taking over your desk, but they didn’t have any free ones.”

Spencer shakes his head, you take a moment to look him over. His hair is a bit looser than you’d imagined, Penelope said curly hair and you’d thought tight spirals- he has pretty loose ringlets, dark and mocha-like.

He smells like leather and something else, maybe plum and black currant- it’s a bit of an all encompassing smell that you like already. He’s much prettier too, he looks tired, but still pretty. His stubble presents a problem, you know it’s going to be your downfall.

“It’s alright, we keep a tight ship. Have they been treating you well?”

You tilt your head, “The team or the unsubs? Because it’s been too many cases to have real team building.” You grin when Spencer huffs, making his lips twitch. “But I think getting concussed while saving Newbie’s ass counts for something.”

Luke grumbles as he walks by with his coffee, “You were hired after I was,” patting Spencer on the back when the taller, lithe, man rolls a chair to sit opposite you.

“Do you still experience headaches or migraines?” Spencer kicks himself when he sees your tongue poke into your cheek- you’re trying hard not to smile at his question. He also thinks he’s doing a shoddy job of flirting but that can be fixed- he’s been in prison for the last three months, he just needs to get back in the swing of things.

“I’m pretty sure your first official day back starts with you in Emily’s office and not giving me an impromptu physical, Dr. Reid.” His lips twitch again, cheeks jumping as he shakes his head.

“It’s just a check-up, no physical yet.” he stands, not really giving himself time to overthink what he’s just said. It’s more than a little presumptuous on his part but you don’t call him an asshole or swear at him, so he thinks he’s okay with it.

“Do you want your desk back, Spencer?” you’re earnest in asking, not wanting to fuck up his routines and his norm. You can tell you like him already and it’s hardly been a fifteen minute conversation.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll take the one right there.” Spencer points a finger to the desk right in behind yours with a little less severity to his lips, his stubble looking even more attractive as he does so.

You watch him walk away, willing yourself to be professional about all this, he may be hot but he’s your coworker and you know all about close proximity relationships possibly being shams. You’re not here for that, so Spencer will be a good friend.

You make your way into the kitchen, steps light as you reach for your mug- a cute blue mug with an orca as the handle.

“So you come in and the kid’s already obsessed with you?” Rossi’s right beside you, making you jump as you put more than the recommended amount of tablespoons of coffee into your mug.

“It’s not like that, you all made him out to be this awkward shy mess and he isn’t.” You try to sound as casual as you can, but you profile your own voice and know how it sounds to everyone- wistful.

“Maybe he’s seen a pretty girl and the ‘awkward shy mess’ melted away,” Rossi places his hands on your shoulders. “He’s a good kid. You can trust in that.”

You roll your eyes, stirring your coffee. “I’m pretty sure he’s in his thirties, Rossi.” You take the milk from him, pouring it in till your coffee is just at the lip of your mug and smile. “Definitely too old.”

Rossi waves his hand, “I’ve been married four times, old isn’t a marker for romance anymore. Not when you’re only twenty four.” He leaves you be for a moment, and on your walk back to your desk to fill out the remaining crosswords you mull over his words.

As you sit, you look down and find it all filled out in black ink, opposed to your blue and you know who did it, if the messy scrawled message is anything to go by- ‘You should get The Washington Post puzzles, much more stimulating.’

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moonsaver · 17 hours

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I READ YOUR POST (and also anon!) ABOUT REBELLIOUS! VERITAS/RATIO, GOOD LORD..

Your writing is very good! And I like it! I'm having it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, everytime

BUT LIKE, LISTEN TO ME, WHAT IF S/O WAS REBELLIOUS LIKE HIM TOO. But not like actually him, just typical rebellious student back then. Like, breaking the rules, pissing off the teachers, etc

AND, HIS S/O IS LIKE NOW, NORMAL. A PROFESIONAL, and probably embarrassed of their phase back then. I do see them being Friendly and chilled with Ratio?? Or like "Oh crap, it's the old rebellious dude that tries to teach me random smart stuffs"

But in my opinion, I do see S/O just being like "Oh, what's up Ratio" and just being neutral. Greeting him whenever they passed by or see each other again, while also slightly joking about the things Ratio tried to teach them back then. As they told him that they actually listened to his teaching.. Even though it's.. Well, it's used by unsuccessful methods

BUT ALSO, YOU KNOW HOW XINYAN WOULD TELL EMBARRASSING STORIES ABOUT SHEHNE AND GANYU?

S/O WOULD DO THAT, telling Ratio old rebellious phase embarrassing stories to his students whenever they feel afraid of him. Like

"Oh, did you know that your professor (Veritas Ratio), used to talk so much about our teacher that just give the slightest wrong formula, to the point he keeps getting send to the office? Hah! I was there!"

As Ratio stood there with hidden embarrassed look, as he tries to hold the urge to not shut S/O up.

I'M SORRY IF I'M BOTHERING YOU, THE VOICES ARE COMMANDING ME... THE VOICES OF MY SIMPING FOR RATIO.

QNON ANON QNON!!!!YOU ARE FEEDING ME TOO I PROMISE YOU CAN BOTHER ME (its not even bothering me i love these asks),,, THE TENSION THAT IUST DISSIPATWS HAHAHA WAIT WAIT

Under the cut,might be long!

Soso, you're the rebellious kid who's butting heads with the other jerkwad, the only difference between you two is that he's just a nerd on top of being a rebellious kid. He's the "worst" of both worlds.

It's a very cliche enemies to strangers to acquaintances who respect each other to tension between possible lovers. Its kind of funny.

In your student days, I imagine the moment both of you see each other in the hall, you scowl at each other. Or make fun of something the other has. Maybe he's lugging a bulky art project and you make fun of him saying he looks like a turtle dragging his own shell. Maybe you left your bag's zip open and Veritas comments on how "devoid of knowledge" it is, "like your head" (you forgot all your books somewhere, your bag is completely empty). God forbid either of you tried something experimental and the other catches a glimpse of it. If they're not within talking distance, they'll shout on the top of their lungs. To both of you, the louder it is the more humiliation is involved. You'll find this method is often used by Veritas, as he openly quizzes you and chides LOUDLY that you're a BUFFOON and an IDIOT for not knowing a SIMPLE FORMULA. You decide to retaliate by stealing more than half his stationary, so now he has to scramble to gather extras and literally no one helps him cause he's a jerk lol.

Everyone on campus absolutely either hates it or loves it. Theres fanpages of you two with cringe edits,or those really well-made shitpost ones. Sometimes your classmates just bait the other to go a certain place just so you two cross paths and stir up a lot of trouble. The teachers are all done with both of you.

Cut to the future (or present?), reader's a professor too now. Let's assume either of them is unaware when they join the job (as implied by the request).

I imagine professor reader, if they manage to stay calm and just.. talk normally, it does give Dr. Ratio some whiplash. His pride demands he straightens himself out though, so it's not too soon before he himself drones on about some or the other tedious topic. You mention the past and how often you used to butt heads, and Veritas' first instinct is to immediately retaliate the way his past self would have done; but he stops himself in time, and sighs at it. You've painstakingly ingrained that response into him. But he's still slightly embarrassed nonetheless. It's not too soon before the conversation becomes more relaxed (I mean.. considering Veritas,as relaxed as he lets it be), and as a form of "nostalgia" he brings up all the questions he used to ask you back then, only to be pleasantly surprised when you give him detailed but professional answers. It's not too soon before he learns that you've become a professor aswell. Dr. Ratio congratulates you – with reservations of course, which is completely thrown out the window when you tell him you knew all of this because.. you listened to him.

Ugh. Don't make him feel so sappy. A part of him detests it; warming up and being all chummy with a hopeless classmate of all people. But a part of him is.. kind of happy about it.

Which is promptly changed the moment you also realize he's a professor now.

And that his students aren't spared from the nostalgia either.

He's bursting through the door, jaw dropped, angry and shocked face as you prattle on about how much of an asshole he was back in the day to his students. For a moment, he contemplates whether he should just throw chalk at you and make an example of you to his students, or drag you out. After a few seconds of paralyzed contemplation, he immediately grabs you by the back of your collar and drags you out before something else comes out of your mouth.

It's almost the same all over again – both of you bickering back and forth as he's all pissy about you spilling everything to his students! You've positively tarnished his reputation! Perhaps he shall tell your students how you used to walk around wearing a lanyard and a shirt with the institution name written on it in big, bold letters on the first day? Or that time you tripped and faceplanted right into the trashcan while you complained about his (axe bodyspray) deodorant?

Ugh.. he'll just deal with you later. Although he won't admit this even to himself.. it's nice seeing you again. He didn't think of that, it must be the headache you gave him that's making him think all weird.

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tfinnbarr · 16 hours

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I've been studying your monochrome art, like the Turnip28 piece you posted in October, and some parts look like you outlined them in black and then painted them and others look straight-up painted without lineart. Can you comment on your painting process? I want to learn from your method, but I can't begin to fathom it

Hey, sorry I'm just getting back to you now! I would say I *generally* start with some messy linework for most of my paintings, but I rarely clean it up too much before moving to paint over the top (because that's the part I really love). Especially for scenes with multiple characters, I find the best way to nail down a composition I like is to start painting light and shadow shapes asap, so the linework gets lost or covered up pretty early on.

I tend to keep the lines visible for longer in paintings that need a bit more perspective, and often bits and pieces of those lines will survive into the final render. Partially because I like the visual noise, and often because I didn't bother properly rendering less important areas beyond a basic light pass, haha. I've attached some compositions for various t28 paintings to illustrate what I mean, both with the shape + light heavy approach, and with one where I kept the lines in the painting for a lot longer.

Hope some of this helps! Always happy to answer questions, and maybe one day I'll get off my ass and share some timelapses.

#tfinnbarr

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sgt-scottymoreau · 1 day

Text

Rogue Soldier

Summary: Scotty dissapear after a previous mission went south. For months, no one can't figure out where she is, till one day.

Warning: Violence, description of injuries/pain

Words: 4k // Masterlist

A/N: Another cheesy fic slightly inspired by the Winter Soldier idea. I wrote that like over a year ago and only post it now because I'm running low in Canon content lol Enjoy!

Every night for the last months, he woke up in cold sweat, dreaming again and again about the same failure he did. Price told him over and over that it wasn't his fault, so did Soap and Gaz. They all tried to support him, but it happened under his watch. He was supposed to protect her. He pushed the blanket, heading to the bathroom to wash up his face. He closed the tap, his eyes lifted to the mirror in front. Ghost saw how tired and horrible he looked. Worse than usual. He could hear her saying so and a small smile drew on his lips. Which then was followed again by her screaming out his name. His knuckles tighten around the towel.

During a mission, Scotty had been kidnapped. They tried their best, pulled every string from all their connections without avail. Laswell didn't find anything, neither did Nikolai or Farah. Even Alenjandro and his Vaqueros had no intel. The 141 kept this secret for a month, before the day he dreaded happened. Without any news on her whereabouts, she had to be declared M.I.A and the news had to be brought to her family. Ghost was glad he was not the one who explained them, Price had the obligation as her captain to do it. Nonetheless he was there when the news was spoken. It felt like once again he let down his family. Another failure on his part. Scotty's dad remained clear headed the whole time, her mother wasn't hysterical but no amount of reassurance would calm her. Gabrielle was also there and she was speechless, but her face spoke of the pain. She was in shock. None of them promised the family they would find her again, but they would never stop looking.

Despite all of this everyone refused to believe Scotty was dead. They had no body to prove she was dead. So maybe there were still small hopes. Hopes who were slowly dimming away as more weeks passed by. He returned to bed. A bed that felt so empty now. That's why he never wanted to get attached because in their line of work you never knew when one wouldn't not come back home. Ghost turned around in the bedsheet, gazing at the ceiling, watching the clock, trying to sleep. He was restless. He thought that mindless scrolling on his phone would help. It did till, for whatever reasons, Ghost went to check the pictures. Not that he had taken much of her; it was in fact the other way around. Scotty was always taking pictures of them and would send them to him. He simply saved them. He looked at her smile or that one silly picture she sent or the one he took of her sleeping on the couch in the most uncomfortable position, yet looked beautiful to his eyes. His heart ached.

Ghost would never admit but he was thankful to his friends to be there for him. It was hard for everyone, but they knew how it was harder for him. She meant everything to him. So they kept taking turns to keep his mind off the darkness, not leave him alone too much even if it was all he said he wanted. Soap remembered one day he went to Ghost's place, only to find him looking more miserable than usual. Like he hadn't showered or eaten in days. He really felt bad for him. After some encouragement, the Scotsman finally made him dress up and they went out for a drink. Ghost needed some fresh air according to him.

They enjoyed some snacks and drinks at the local pub. Ghost was still brooding, but Soap terrible attempts at jokes did drag a smile out of him here and there. He was fidgeting with his drink when two girls showed up at their tables. He did not even bother lifting his head to face them. "Come here often, handsome?" One of them advanced to Soap.

"Sorry ladies, not interested tonight." He shut them down quickly.

"What about your friend here?" One lady asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. Ghost tensed up and shifted away. "Jeez no need to be so rude. Not with an attitude like this and this… mask that you gonna get a girl."

The glare he gave her made the girl move five steps back. "I suggest you leave." He let out coldly. The two girls didn't try to argue. Ghost sipped on his drink. If only they had known how this mask and attitude indeed got him a girl…

Missions felt different. Not too much, they were used to missions where she wasn't there. But her snarky comments, her goofing around with Soap and Gaz, her accidental flirting with Ghost, all were missing. Just like today. Soap was complaining on the com. Till Gaz replied. "Pretty sure Captain, don't want someone to go full clean everywhere."

"I know my tactics are brute force sometimes, but do I really need to be overwatch?"

"A little focus, lads." Price intervened.

Despite her absence, Soap and Ghost both heard her. Her remark every time Price would say this. And girl. Obviously their coms never sparked her chuckles. Soap looked at his friend who focused himself on his scope. He had a visual on Price, Gaz and Stevenson. Someone who had worked with them before and was again paired up for this mission.

"I got a visual on the target. He's talking with someone." Ghost said. "Garrick, he is only a few meters away from you."

"Any hostiles that might be with him?" Price asked.

"I see nothing sir." Soap replied while scouting with the binocular.

Ghost watched through the small crowd. "Hold that thought…" He noticed something off. Someone who was trying to blend in the crowd. However, said person did not look to be part of their current target affiliation. He adjusted his snipe. His blood went cold when the person turned around. "Johnny!" He shouted louder than expected, making him jump. "Check the person with the black hood, near the restaurant, there!"

Soap wasn't sure why. Ghost wouldn't be vague like this for no reason, he was always direct. His gaze followed the instruction and his own heart skipped a beat. "It's her!" He exclaimed. The two men looked at each other; they had to focus on the mission but how did she just reappear out of nowhere. "Captain! We have a visual on Scotty!" Soap radioed quickly.

Price, who was sitting on a bench, tried to look for the position they pointed him to. He couldn't make up her face, but he did see the woman with the hood. Gaz, who was also nearby, lost focus for a moment and searched for her. Being closer, he saw her features. "I would say you guys are crazy, but no it is her." He confirmed.

"I saw her too." Stevenson came in. "Keep your eyes on the main target, I'll make contact with her.”

From their spot, Ghost told Soap to keep watch on target, he will keep eyes on Scotty. He lost her once, he won't lose her a second time. Through his scope, he watched Stevenson approach with a friendly embrace. But something was off. She didn't seem to remember him? Ghost kept watching. They had worked with the man not long before she was kidnapped. For sure she would know his face. Ghost gestured at Soap to also watch, confirming that it wasn't his mind playing tricks. Her stance was stern and cold. They both saw Stevenson only at arm length. He seemed like he said something. Her course of action took their breath away. Scotty grabbed the man's arm, swiftly flipped him around, forced him on his knee and plunged a knife in his neck. The crowd scattered in fear, causing chaos to their main mission.

"What the fuck happened?" Price yelled getting up ready to jump in the action.

Ghost's words almost got caught in his throat. "It's Scotty… she is… hostile."

Soap turned to him with confusion on his face. Price was also stunned by this realization but kept his head straight. With the crowd panicking, their target could get away easily. He ordered Gaz to capture him before he could ask. The sergeant agreed and swiftly made his way through the crowd. From their higher ground, Ghost and Soap didn't let go of both, giving updates on their movements. Gaz was about to intercept the target, when Ghost saw it.

"Garrick! Watch your back!" He yelled in the radio quickly.

Gaz turned around to see Scotty about to knock him out. He ducked in the time and slipped to the side. The woman placed herself between the two men, almost as she was protecting him. The target smiled. "Do you like my new pet? She turned out to be quite an asset once we were done." He explained.

Ghost's hands gripped his sniper so hard, his knuckles hurted. He did not like the way he was talking about her. "What did you do to her?" Gaz asked, taking a defensive stance.

"Isn't it obvious? She is here to protect me… and kill all of you. Isn't that right, love? It's the 141 after all." With this, Gaz saw her pull a gun out and aim at him. He dodged quickly before trying to find cover.

"She has a gun. We can't let her be in the middle of this chaos, going around shooting!" Gaz radioed to be sure everyone would hear. Price was already by his side by then. He had to think quickly of a solution, while he could see the gun being pointed in his direction. It wouldn't take long for local authorities to also show up. She had to be drawn somewhere else without any civilians being able to point out the direction. However one detail made no sense to him. If Scotty was indeed the target's protection, why would she keep her face out in the open? Anyone would be able to identify her. Unless this was part of their enemy's plan. But for what? Price pushed Gaz behind cover with him. By reflex, they both grab their weapon, fully aware that none of them wished to arm her.

Ghost followed the exchange with a caution eye. He wasn't the type of man to lose his cool during a mission or a high stake moment. But right now, he felt his body being tense; his breathing was heavy, his grip was strong and his mind racing. Price hadn't ordered anything yet, which gave him the idea that he was probably in the same mindset as him. Finding a solution that would not result in more blood. The crowd cleared from their position. This gave Ghost an opportunity to test something. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, before pulling the trigger. The bullet hit the ground right behind her. By her surprised reaction, his guess was right. She was not aware of their position.

Price and Gaz took advantage of this distraction to jump on the woman. With not much success. Gaz had sparred with her in the past, he knew how she danced. Now, it felt like he was fighting someone else. She easily got the upper hand. A pressure on his shoulder followed by a loud bang made him realize much. A stinging pain and warmth overwhelmed this part. Another sniper shot was fired and Scotty jumped back again. Price tempted another attempt at getting a hold of her. Despite the confusion, Scotty was able to get him first. With a quick move, Scotty spinned him around, his back against her, his arm above her shoulder and pulled on it. A loud crack and pain jolted through his elbow to his shoulder. If it wasn't for a third snipe shot, Price would have probably received a gunshot wound after the broken arm.

Ghost saw that he finally had her full attention to the building when she dropped Price and scouted their direction. Soap had a better idea to help. He stood at the window, waving. "Hey! Over here!" He shouted. As expected, they watched her rush toward their position.

"What do we do now? It's not like we can shoot her…" Soap groaned. "We don't even know why she's acting like that!"

"I have an idea why…" An idea that made him sick and enraged. "We need to stop her without any harm."

Soap agreed. The two men took position for ambush. They waited…waited…and waited. Ghost glanced by the window. Price was taking care of Gaz, but no Scotty in sight. What was she doing? The lieutenant gestured to Soap to slowly move from his position to check out. He did so, crouching to reach the door. He pushed it with his gun. No riposte. Was she in the building or not? Soap tempted a check; his head picking just a little to see the hallway. Nothing. "Negative on…" He was interrupted by the door slamming on his face violently. Soap stumbled back, broken nose. He lost balance, fell flat on his back and a foot stopped on his chest pinning him down. Scotty was above him, ready to shoot. The sergeant grabbed her leg and pulled as hard as he could to destabilize her. It worked, although in her fall she did pull the trigger. The bullet grazed his arm. Ghost sent a warning shot to get her attention. He saw enough friends being hurt.

‘‘Drop the gun!’’ He ordered, doing the same. ‘‘We are not gonna hurt, but if you force our hands.’’ Scotty did not move a muscle, always aiming at him. At the moment he was the treat. Ghost’s brain was working overclock to make sense of what was going on. Try to piece together what was happening to her, with his own experience. Disappearing for months, reappearing as a changed person, ready to kill in cold blood… He gritted his teeth. Soap took the opportunity of their silent exchange to push back one more time. He pushed himself on his feet despite the pain and disarmed her. Not without struggle, but he was able to get the gun out of her grip. He had forgotten about the knife though. Something he was reminded of when he avoided it just by an inch, his cheek being cut in the process still.

It was a game of distraction and action. Ghost took Soap’s distraction to his advantage this time, jumping on her, holding her as much as he could. Scotty squirmed to get out of his grip, kicking him. Her head hit his own. Thanks to the mask, he did not get anything broken but the shock was enough for him to lose his grip. Which was all she needed to slip away. The rogue soldier spinned around with the knife about to dig in Ghost’s tight. He avoided it just on time. She riposted by swiftly going for a slice up. All she managed was to graze his bulletproof vest. Ghost could have gone for his own knife or gun or anything to stop her, but he couldn’t get himself to hurt her. The last time he had to face someone in the same situation it had been so easy to kill him. No second thoughts. However this time, it wasn’t so easy. He dodged every single of her attempts to kill him. ‘‘Come Scotty! Don’t you recognize us? Me?’’

‘‘You are 141, you need to be killed!’’ These were not the words he expected to hear from her after months. But at least it made everything clear. It did clear up that this wouldn’t finish with either them dead or her knock out. Ghost will apologize for it later, for now he has to protect his team. Just like Gaz, he noticed her different fightstyle and had to adapt to it. He had to give it to her, she was still able to get him a few times. Knife cutting through his clothes dragging blood. Despite hating this, he did succeed one or two hits on her too. A bleeding lip, bruised cheeks, kick in the shin. Yet, she was still standing, always coming back at him with the same energy. Whatever the enemy used to brainwash her, they really worked her resolve into not giving up till they were dead. Even if it killed her. On the outside, sirens from ambulances and police flooded the place. Even if they made it out alive, it would be hard for extraction. This had to finish now.

He saw the opening and went for it. Ghost rolled under her leg, pushing her up with his shoulder. Before she even tried to regain her balance in the fall, he slammed her against the floor. The shock knocked the air out of her lungs. He had only a fraction of a second to get her and knock her out. She kicked and tried to punch him before she went limp. Ghost let go quickly before it would kill her. Out of breath, Soap and him looked at each other now that the heat had cooled off. It was time to leave without attracting attention.

****

When she finally came back to herself, she was at the base’s infirmary. Her head was aching like the worst hangover she ever had. With a grunt, Scotty tried to lift her hand to massage her temples but restraints held her down. She was confused for a moment. While would she need these? The same for her ankles. ‘‘What the fuck.’’ Scotty breathed. She tried to put the pieces back together, thinking of what happened before she found herself here. But everything was a blur. Did she really drink that much and this was some sort of joke? Soap was probably behind this. Incapable of moving more than her head, she looked around. She was plugged to a bunch of wires, a beeping machine and a half asleep Soap in the chair, with his feet resting on the bed, next to her.

‘‘Hey McTavish!’’ She called him out, making him jump. He looked terrible. Left over of a broken nose, healing bruises on his face. ‘‘What happened to you, you look like shit.’’

‘‘You happened.’’ He shifted in his seat stretching his muscles. ‘‘You think we can remove the restraint or you will jump on me again?’’

‘‘The fuck are you talking about?’’

‘‘Let me get the captain. I think we have a lot to explain…’’ He left her to her wondering. She must have missed a good one. Five minutes later, Soap came back with Price and the other two. They all looked like hell. Ghost much less than the other, but when was the last time he had some good sleep? Both Price and Gaz had splints.

‘‘How are you doing, lass?’’ The captain asked to take a seat.

‘‘Like I have the worst headache and everything is fuzzy in the brain. Still it seems like I’m doing better than all of you.’’ They all chuckled at her remark.

‘‘You have been in and out for a week now. I know it might be hard but I need you to tell me what happened three months ago. Do you remember anything?’’

Scotty took a moment to think. ‘‘We were in Germany, trying to take down someone… Then…I think something went wrong… and…’’ The memories hit back hard. They were more flashes, but enough that she could recall what happened after the enemies got their hands on her. A cold cell, sleepless night, needles, burning sensation in her body… Bright light… Electric shock… Pain. Then nothing. Till now. Her skin itched at the ghostly sensation of the needles and the shocks, maybe her brain was blocking the memory but her muscles hadn’t forgotten. ‘‘I remember people talking, like they are giving me instruction…’’

‘‘Like kill the… 141?’’ Gaz said. She noticed them tense up at the word. Scotty watched them confused. A wave of relief took them when they saw how calm she remained. Price allowed the restraints to be removed. The captain took the time to explain all that happened a few days ago, not chewing his words when it came to what she did to them. Scotty sunk in the bed. She was the one responsible for their state. She almost killed them all… because she had been told to do so.

‘‘We figured out that you might have been brainwashed, with a trigger. It seems like 141 was it.’’ Price explained. ‘‘Glad to see it seems to not be the case. I still want you to see a psychologist when you are out. I don’t want to take the risk.’’

‘‘Sure captain.’’ She fidgeted with the sheet. Tears blurring her vision. ‘‘Guys, I’m so sorry! I hurted you so bad, tried to kill you and…’’ Any more words got lost in sobs.

‘‘We’re good Scotty. Don’t worry, mate.’’ Soap reassured her. ‘‘Gaz gets some days off and needs physical rehabilitation, but at least he lives. Cap is also alive with a painful shoulder nothing different than his old bones and I just get a re-facing, I’ll be pretty in no long. Don’t sweat it.’’ Between sobs, she laughed at his casual description of everything, but she still felt guilty. The only one who still hadn’t talked since was Ghost. He actually kept himself a bit aside from the small crowd. Price knew why and after a quick wrap up, he gestured to the two other sergeants to leave the room. Gaz closed the door behind him, allowing some privacy.

Scotty was whipping her tears while Ghost sat on the bed. They remained silent for a minute. ‘‘Looks like you are the one with the least damage.’’ She smiled. ‘‘I really feel bad for Gaz; he is the one I hurt the most.’’

Ghost kept silent. He didn’t know where to even begin. ‘‘Don’t worry about us. You should take care of yourself. I know too well how brainwash can leave damage.’’ He didn’t have to explain more on what he meant, nor that she would have to explain to him in detail what she had been through. He knew first hand. Her hand slided towards him and her fingers wrapped around his hand. His shoulders fell down. Ghost had been holding a lot of tension and this small touch made it melt away. To hell with being professional, there was no one in the room. He wrapped his arms around her, hugged her so tight she could barely breathe.

‘‘I thought you were dead. I was sure I would never see you again, that I lost you forever.’’ He wasn’t quite crying, but every word was punctuated with emotions. Scotty slowly raised her arm, gripped on his back and buried her face in the crock of his neck.

‘‘You are the reason why it took them a while to break me and even then. As much as they wanted me to, I can’t kill my friend and I definitely can’t kill you.’’ Their hug lasted a few minutes, letting go only because their muscles were sore. Ghost didn’t take off his mask, but lifted it enough to have his lips free and kiss her. God he missed that. To feel her against him, to have his anchor to sanity and the world, his love.

‘‘I’m sorry I was not able to protect you back when they got you. I should have been able to stop them.’’ He said, his forehead against hers. ‘‘Don’t say it’s not my fault, it was.’’

‘‘I don’t want to think about who’s fault it was or not. I’m just glad to be home.’’ She would never blame him for this. It was a risk she was aware of. No amount of preps could have prevented something that was supposed to happen. But for now, she was back home and it was time to heal. And make up for the trouble she caused. Ghost was happy that he wouldn’t sleep alone after so long.

#cod fanfic #call of duty fanfic #cod fanfiction #cod oc #simon ghost riley #john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #oc:camille scotty moreau #not canon #ghost x scotty

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iridescent-petrichor · 2 days

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silence feels better with you, chapter five

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: JJ gets drunk and emotional

Words: 2.1K

A/N: hihi i'm back!! i was mostly done with this chapter and then my computer broke so i couldn't finish it up until a few days ago but it's finally here and now there's only one chapter left!!

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

It was six months post-breakup.

Kie stood in the middle of your bedroom, slowly inspecting the room, her gaze eventually falling on a dresser drawer you’d left slightly open. Taking a few steps to get to it, she pulled out a few old envelopes. Notes JJ had written you during the relationship. Little things, usually one sentence long scrawled on a torn-off piece of paper that he’d shoved in your locker. ‘You look cute today.’ ‘You coming to JB’s later?’ Simple things that made you smile.

“You still have these?” She asked, holding one up for you to read. ‘This class is boring. Wanna ditch?’

You stared longingly at the note, forgetting yourself for a moment. Kiara sighed, regretting grabbing the note as she shoved it back into the drawer.

“Sorry.”

You shook your head, forcing a smile onto your face. “It’s alright. I don’t even look at them anymore.”

It was a lie. You both knew it, but neither wanted to acknowledge it aloud. They were almost like a nighttime ritual for you at this point, reading a few until your heart ached then reluctantly shoving them away and falling into a restless sleep.

“Well,” Kiara gave you a sad smile, reaching out to gently grab your wrist, pulling you towards the bed. “This is a strictly boy-free night. C’mon.”

You let her pull you onto your bed, sitting beside her. She leaned over to turn off the light, pulling the covers over the both of you and giving you one last look to make sure you were okay.

Once she decided you were fine, she settled into the bed, shutting her eyes. You sighed to yourself, deciding to do the same thing, trying to let sleep overtake you.

You were awoken by the loud vibrating of your phone against your bedside table. With a frustrated groan, you sat up in bed, glancing at Kie. She’s still half asleep, though starting to slowly blink her eyes open.

“What the hell?” She muttered, rolling over in bed to face you.

You grabbed your phone, not bothering to look at the number as you answered the call.

“Hello?” Your voice was still groggy from sleep, rustling the bed sheets a little as you sat up.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” John B’s voice rang out on the other end. You stiffened, straightening up in bed. Kiara tilted her head at you.

“Uh, just a little bit. What’s up?” Kiara tugged at your shirt, giving you a look, mouthing what’s going on?

“So I know this really isn’t your priority or anything anymore, but JJ’s really fucked up.” Even his name still made you freeze up. Shit.

John B let out a sigh, sounding just as exhausted as you felt.

“He’s really drunk and he won’t stop asking for you. Me and Pope have been trying to deal with him all night but he’s just gotten worse. Can you just come deal with him? Just for tonight?”

“I’m with Kie right now-” She perked up slightly at her own name, tugging at your shirt sleeve again.

You heard shuffling on the other line, sitting patiently waiting for a response.

“Hey!” The shuffling finally stopped when Pope’s voice rang in your ear, full of frustration. “Can you please come deal with him?”

You rolled your eyes, leaning back in the bed. “Pope-”

“He’s being insufferable right now, okay? Everything we do or say makes him talk about you and I can barely understand what he’s trying to say half the time. You’re coming to get him, end of story.”

You didn’t have time to protest before Pope hung up on you.

“Was that Pope?” Kiara asked tiredly when you put your phone back on the bedside table.

“And John B.” You muttered, reluctantly getting out of bed in spite of Kiara’s sleepy protests. “They need me to deal with JJ.”

“Seriously?” Kiara sat up, fully awake now. “Why can’t they deal with him?”

“He got too drunk.” You grabbed your keys, sighing.

“When does he not?” She threw the covers off herself, starting to get out of bed.

“He’s asking for me.”

“When does he not?”

You hesitated, casting a glance in her direction. There was an unspoken conversation between the two of you, and Kiara instantly realized there was no arguing with you.

The drive to John B’s wasn’t long, but your nerves felt fried by the time you arrived. You had a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel the whole way, barely blinking as you stared out at the dark road ahead of you.

When you finally walked into the Chateau, Pope and John B were trying to keep JJ from getting up off the couch as he mumbled something incoherent.

“Thank god.” Pope sighed, hanging his head low.

“Can you get him into the guest room?” John B asked, visibly relaxing at the sight of you. He let go of JJ long enough that he sat up, immediately trying to get to his feet once he saw you.

Part of you thought JJ had been doing okay after the breakup, that maybe you’d been burdening him every time you called him for help after months of not speaking. Every time you’d seen him he looked at least relatively put together. Tired, but put together.

This was something unrecognizable.

His hair was a mess and his eyes were red and puffy from crying despite the growing smile on his face at the sight of you. There were dirt stains on his shirt and shorts as well as wet spots on his shirt where he spilled one of his many drinks. His steps were unsteady as he approached you.

“Hey.” He reached forward, tugging you toward him by the front of your shirt. “You look pretty.”

Your heart sped up a bit, trying to force back a smile. “Let’s get you to bed.”

After about five grueling minutes of struggling to get JJ into the guest room, he collapsed onto the bed with a grunt. He looked up at you, bleary-eyed.

“You look so pretty.”

You stiffened, trying to calm your beating heart with a forced smile.

“C’mon, under the covers.” You said gently, only to be met with drunken protests.

When you finally managed to get JJ’s combat boots off and helped him under the covers, he was still staring at you, a lazy grin painting his face.

“You’re here.”

“Yeah.” You whispered, grabbing a water bottle from the nightstand and handing it to him. “Here, drink.”

He took it, sitting up slightly and downing it in one go, grinning up at you like he’d impressed you as he set the empty bottle down. It made you smile despite yourself, leaning him back against the pillows so he would lie down.

“You staying?” He asked quietly, instinctively reaching a hand out to tug at the hem of your shirt.

At your silence, he frowned.

“Please?”

It was surprising how easily you caved when JJ begged you to do something. With a tight smile, you nodded, taking a seat beside him on the bed. Wordlessly, he helped pull the covers over you.

The only sound that filled the room was the shuffling of the bedsheets as JJ shifted closer to you. You looked down at your lap, entirely aware of JJ’s gaze on you.

“I missed you.” He whispered into the silence of the room and god, as if that wasn’t the biggest understatement of his life.

He straightened up in his spot on the bed, trying to get you to look at him.

“I miss you.”

He waited for you to respond with bated breath, trying to gauge your reaction when you finally looked at him.

“JJ-” The tone in your voice made him tense.

“No.” Despite how drunk he was, it seemed he was determined to talk this through with you. His hand fell to your arm as he tried to get you to listen to him. “I can’t- I can’t run away again. I keep just-” He let out a bitter laugh. “John B’s on my ass about talking to you. Says I’m spiraling.”

It didn’t take a genius to see that he very clearly was just by the bags under his bloodshot eyes and the way he won’t stop fidgeting, running his hands through his hair or reaching into the pocket of his cargo shorts to fiddle with his lighter.

“Anyways,” He inhaled shakily, forcing a smile. “You’re here.”

You tried to smile back. “I’m here.”

He shifted so he was facing you straight on. “I need to talk to you.”

A quiet laugh escaped you. “You’ve been talking, JJ.”

Your eyes widened slightly when he put a hand over your mouth, silencing you. “No- okay- I’ve been really stupid. Like, really stupid. I didn’t wanna break up with you.”

The mention of your breakup made your shoulders slump slightly.

“I loved you. I still do, I really really do. I know I ruined things, believe me, I know.”

“Why did you leave?” JJ instantly swallowed his words at your whispered plea, unable to look you in the eye for a moment.

“Because you’re too good for me.” He had to force the words out, his mouth feeling like it was full of chalk.

You stared at him, tilting your head slightly in confusion, your gaze softening.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He found himself distracted by you again as his hand found your jawling, his thumb rubbing along your cheek. “You scare the hell out of me sometimes.”

You couldn’t help but lean into JJ’s touch, sighing softly. “Why’s that?”

“Cause I don’t know what made you choose me.” His voice was soft, unsure. “You’re so beautiful and smart and- you have your shit together and- you’re actually gonna go somewhere in life. I just didn’t wanna drag you down.”

You frowned. “Drag me down?”

“Yes, drag you down. Are you kidding?” JJ scoffed. “I see the way people look at you when you’re with me. Like I’m some charity case.”

“I don’t look at you like that.”

JJ pulled back slightly, letting go of you in favor of running a hand through his hair. “I know. Jesus, I know. I just don’t get it. Why do you love me? Why did you love me?”

Before you could answer, he shook his head. “No. Sorry, don’t answer that. It’s my turn to talk. I need to- okay, I know I’m drunk and not making any sense but please let me talk.”

He took your silence as permission to continue.

“I love you so much. Of course I didn’t want to lose you. Of course I didn’t want to lose the one good thing going for me, okay? But- I knew I was dragging you down. I could feel it. So- so I ended it before you could.”

Your heart ached at the pain in his voice. You’d always known JJ was insecure, but you could never get used to the way he talked about himself. “JJ, I wasn’t going to- I would never-”

“I know. I know, okay? I do now, I just- fuck.” JJ reached for you, absentmindedly fiddling with your hoodie strings. “I ruined everything.”

You sighed softly, running your thumb along his cheek. The gentle touch almost made him flinch.

“You didn’t.” You tried to say, but he just forced out a wry laugh.

“I lost you.”

You frowned, trying to calm him down. “I’m right here, aren’t I?”

Slowly, hesitantly, JJ looked up at you, a barely restrained desperation in his eyes. You felt his hand slide its way up to your shoulder, clinging to you.

“I love you.” His voice rang out into the quiet of the room.

You blinked away tears, trying so hard to stay composed. His other hand found its way to your arm.

“Tell me you still love me.” He whispered, clutching your arm a little tighter, trying to pull an answer from you that he knew he didn’t deserve.

Your mouth felt dry, a sickness rising in your throat as you gently laid him back down in the bed. As much as you wanted to answer him, this was not a conversation you wanted to have while he was still drunk out of his mind. “You need to get some sleep, JJ.”

JJ didn’t say a word, letting you move him with ease. You laid down beside him, resting your head on his chest like you’d done a million times before, in much better circumstances. He wrapped an arm around you, shutting his eyes tightly, trying to hold onto the emotions threatening to make him explode.

“Sometimes I don’t think I’m meant for happiness.” He whispered, not looking up at you.

You tensed, shifting slightly so you could look up at him. By the time you could even find the words to respond, he was already asleep.

#jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader

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vriskaserketdaily · 2 days

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i see u like vrisjade .. would you be willing to explain what u think their dynamic would be . i want to like it but ive never been able to wrap my head around what they would be like

theyre not my otp i just draw them for clout

my understanding is that the appeal lies in a bit of wishful thinking. "what if vriska learned to be nicer?" and "what if jade went a little apeshit?" i do think they would work well as kismeses (or, more likely, one-sided blackrom crushes because jade has other things going on and can't be bothered to spend her whole life obsessing over the girl who gave her narcolepsy as a kid), but pretty much all the stuff you'll find for them is redrom vriska rehabilitation fluff (which is CUTE and WHOLESOME and FUN, and i ENJOY DRAWING IT, but . . . i like it when vriska is kinda balls to the wall insane instead of all niceys).

SO! that being said, i do think their dynamic would be really interesting even in a non-shipping context because they DO definitely need to clear the air re: the whole narcolepsy and viciously insulting your teen grandpa within 5 minutes of officially meeting him thing. i stand by what i said in this post about their dynamic, noting furthermore that vriska does mention and talk about jade a lot in the comic despite never having a canonical conversation with her (it's implied; she is in jade's trollslum on pesterchum after all), so . . . vriska definitely thinks about jade more than jade thinks about vriska, and probably projects a whole lot onto jade as a sort of kanaya-aradia amalgamation proxy. she totally fumbled those two, but SURELY she can stick the landing on this smart and silly genius who CLEARLY needs a good blackrom bucketing to loosen up. right???????? human romance isn't that complicated and it's not like her dating pool is super wide what with the rest of the humans either locked in monogamous relationships (with trolls, narrowing vriska's competition further) or being "in families" with jade.

it would be really funny for them to end up in a quasi-auspisticeship (likely candidates for the third wheel being karkat, john, and regrettably kanaya im so sorry bbg) or for vriska to have an aneurysm upon finding out about human polyamory and the simple fact that jade has more positive and developed dynamics with Many other characters before she even thinks of vriska.

tl;dr i'm the wrong person to ask if you want to be sold on vrisjade i just think they're neat individually and dont mind drawing them together

#vriska serket #mod 8 #daily vriska serket #vriska #daily vriska #homestuck #jade harley #jade #vrisjade #jadevris #vriska x jade #jade x vriska #pretty much all of my stances on vrika femslash is 'i think it's funny when she copes and seethes over generally not being very likeable'#esp with the final gang her options are like. her ex. girl she never talked to. girl who has voiced actual dislike for her.#girl she never talked to who ALSO has reasons to actively dislike her. terezy (terezy)#this character isnt even a girl youre just fanoning your way to femslash AND theyve never talked/have beef/are exes #like. vrika likes women but most women she knows have fair & valid reasons not to like her back. shipping is fun and i like to do it but lb #shes single. or cosmically entwined with terepy in a tragic(?) doomed(?) relationship thats epic like the aenead #(no not the iliad or odyssey i know what im doing here and if youre familiar w the aenead u know what im talking about)#either way any reasonable bystander with better alternatives would not touch that with a ten foot pole

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incorrecthogwartsmysteryquotes · 1 year

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Not a quote. Personal stuff. Little bit long.

So, I've been sitting on this for a couple of months, and I don't know how to deal with it or how I'm supposed to feel. I could really use some advice.

So the thing is, after I got off my last sedative medication and onto the one I'm on now, I started being more honest with my therapist/nurse about what I generally experienced and felt, I was too sedated before hand to even function so suddenly being able to do normal stuff was a big change and I started to want to get healthier. And I told my therapist/nurse some things I had not shared with anyone before in my life, and the look of mortified concern was well, funny but also not good. Anyways to the point

She thinks I have multiple personalities, she said it's part of my Schizophrenia but I suspect she actually doesn't know enough about this as she has said a lot of stuff is that.

It basically started with me telling her about how when I was stressed or scared in school I could "disappear" mentally, like i just stopped existing for half an hour to a whole hour, depending on what was needed, i thought it was awesome, like a superpower where I didn't have to deal with the not so nice people in my school.

Apparently that is not normal, but no one ever noticed anything so I just kept doing it

There's more stuff but yeah, I will for the sake of a not too long post not go into details

But people in my life I've been close to have mentioned sometimes after I shared with them what my nurse, that it makes sense, they always felt like I was several people, that my personality was inconsistent and that my mood would sometimes be very off, my dad even suggested it before my nurse gave me the "diagnosis" or whatever and I don't know how to feel about this

Yes I have voices in my head that are capable of stuff they shouldn't as voices. And it has hurt many friendships before, and made me stand out and be a target of bullying.

But I really don't know what to do, the others in my head won't tell me anything other than vague shit and I don't know what to do

Please, if someone knows something or have some advice I would really appreciate it

Sorry for the rant, I don't really have anywhere else to say this

#not a quote #schizophrenia #multiple personalities #personal #would love some advice #idk what to do #I'm really sorry if this post bothers you

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hazelpuff · 9 months

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So I took a break from posting here since May due to the fact that -again - I had a problem making my Cudlow hood playable (whenever I entered the hood I got pink flashig). So I guess I would had to restart most of it AGAIN. I tried various solutions and nothing worked so propably next time I have to include even less cc, especially when it comes to decorating hood. Till now I don't really know how to do that while being happy with how my custom hood would turn out. I just wanted to play so I moved to TS4 for a while, since I didn't focus on every aspect of my gameplay and just created some sims (I just go to TS4 whenever I'm burned out on TS2 - mainly performence-wise). I played it for about 2 months and now I'm back to playing Sims 2, but taking it easy for a time being. I downloaded a mystery/drama-filled custom hood Jeans Shaker Oasis by Sokisims. It's packed with a lot of sims. It's really a well-made hood, I'm just starting playing it but I wanted to recommand it since I want to post some random pics of my gameplay from time to time here :D. As as I can see, it's still getting some updates but I think it's good to go when it comes to playability.

I want to go back to Cudlow (I spend too much time on sims/build-making to let it all go to waste), but for now I just want to enjoy Sims 2 again and be somewhat active on Tumblr ^^.

#ts2 #s2 #cudlow hood #those pictures where made back when I was posting my latest Cudlow-related posts #I hoped that I will keep on going xD #I used to play Sedona as my modern hood but ofc I got rid of all of the cc I had for it (silly me)#which is a shame since I started being invested in it but cc/mod-hunting really isn't my favourite thing to do #but I added Oak Hill as a subhood and Canyon Cacstus University that are also made by aondaneedles to Jeans Shaker Oasis x).#TS4 is a good crafting sim for me but it starts to bother me after a while when I don't want my sims to leave their houses xD #also I'm sorry to all of those unanswered asks #especially to those who sent me game-asks - thank you for thinking of me I really neglected my tumblr for some time D:#sorry if I will miss 'n' letter sometimes while writing #or use double nn - my key broke and it will never be the same again xd

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monstersinthecosmos · 9 months

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not for anything but friendly reminder that ~fandom discourse~ about where women belong (or people you perceive as women) is misogynistic as fuck. or what they're allowed to say, or what they're allowed to write about, or what they're allowed to enjoy.

next time you see someone having a tantrum and vaguing, especially if their posts from week to week completely contradict each other, perhaps analyze if the common denominator is "a gross woman said something and now i'm mad" without otherwise adhering to any actual principles.

#like i wonder if someone consistently preaches that we need to respect each other's headcanons #but they are specifically bothered by women & people they assume are women #and they keep specifically complaining about how ANNOYING GIRLS are the ones with such STUPID ideas #if maybe that person is just a fucking misogynist LMAO #and maybe we shouldn't give them the time of day :)#but what do i know lol im just a dumb girl with my dumb girl brain #anyway sorry guys i hate posting vagues i think it's really immature but like how much of this do we fucking tolerate #and can you please stop reblogging him bc tumblr's block & mute functions are terrible #if i'm not vague about it does it still count as a vague?#i hate public drama but like he didn't want to resolve it in private either and won't shut the fuck up haha sorry #but i also fucking hate bullies so #:)#also in b4 fandom clique conspiracies start floating around #if you act like a misogynist dickhead and get blocked by a bunch of people #it's not a cabal of mean girls ganging up on you #maybe you're the problem lol #knock it the fuck off aren't you tired of this it's been a year man #get a life.

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classicintp · 1 year

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There is this whole idea that flipping a two sided coin doesn't have a 50-50 probability. It's not a new idea by any means, but the explanation is if you measured the mass of the coin, the force of the flip, the temperature of the coin & of the room, the force of any breeze, wind, or vibration in the air as it traveled, and so on, you could accurately determine within a small margin of error what side the coin will land on every time, and if you kept those constant it would flip on the same side every time. And that idea is also KIND OF the explanation for the conclusion in quantum physics that there is no free will.

A lot of people hear that and either clutch their pearls, roll their eyes, or aren't interested either way. (I mean, when you say some shit like that you're just going to immediately turn off any interest most people would have otherwise had but I'm digressing now). We all like to think we make decisions and choices, and then amateurs who want to talk about quantum mechanics alienate everyone by saying it's not true: you were always going to make these choices with no chance to make the other one.

But what I said in the first paragraph is something-like (but not exactly) what it means when you hear or read that according to quantum physics we have no free will. That if we had an unfathomable device that has been measuring all the variables of every single particle that was expelled during the Big Bang, with an also-sufficient/also-currently-unfathomable algorithm to plug those variables into, all within a computer that could do all of the calulations for BILLIONS of years, we could compute exactly where every particle was going and where it would end up, including those that make up the stars and planets, that make up the ground and oceans, that make up the animals and plants, that make up your brain and all of the proteins and neurotransmitters. That if it could all be measured and an algorithm sufficiently built then the decisions you make are already determined by the ongoing relationships and interactions the particles that make up your brain had in the past and are having right now.

However, humans cannot measure that, they likely never ever will.

Anyone that tells me they don't like quantum mechanics because something something affront to nature blah blah "they" don't believe in free will, etc. literally doesn't know it's just a rescale of the coin toss description. You still believe coin tosses are 50-50 because you aren't going to measure the variables used to receive an answer, you can still believe in free will because you can't measure the variables used to determine the ultimate path of all particles; I mean, I wouldn't become a theoretical physicist if that meant so much to you but I'm not your dad, do what you want.

Edit: I know I described the science mostly wrong, please check out the replies and reblogs for others' corrections and feel free to add corrections of your own for mine and others' learning, thank you.

#as has been pointed out to me you can't measure quantum functions in a meaningful way without collapse #I'm not a quantum physics person‚#(i mean‚ that is pretty clear)#but there are concepts that can be simplified to make them easier to process l #so that people interested can be pointed in the right direction and feel more familiar #before they find corrections and understand the bigger stuff‚ it's basically how middle school conventional science classes teach stuff #like i remember not really understanding dependant/independent variables #or not really understanding why endothermic/exothermic meant cold/hot #or how electrons don't really orbit atoms/have fixed places when attached to each other #we're taught simplified versions of things that are sometimes not the whole picture or sometimes wrong #to get you thinking in the right direction #anyway I'm not saying I crafted this post to be like that‚ just that I do understand some of the concepts aren't correct #it's just too complicated to get into specifics and that's the best way I can describe how I understand it #sorry if you do know better and bothered‚ I'll make any necessary edits if you message me and they don't over complicate the post #otherwise for everyone else go look this stuff up and get corrected #physics #quantum mechanics #quantum physics #op

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dailynanaodoodles · 15 days

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[ Day 7 ] - (4/21)

Was reading a manhwa named Surviving as a Maid in a Horror Game or smth like that which inspired this doodle. which makes this another au ig? Idk Nana's a player who becomes the maid who's supposed to assassinate Nanao or smth.

#talentless nana #munou na nana #無能なナナ #nanao nakajima #nakajima nanao #fanart #doodle #my art <3 #sorry if quality is bad I had to email it to myself and post through my laptop #tumblr still won't let post with my phone #also I noticed someone commenting hate on Nana despite me stating in my blog rules no character hate #so don't mind if you see something about some replies being hidden on my posts since i've blocked them #it was only one reply on one post at first but they started replying on others posts with hate towards nana which really bothered me #if I see any more people hating on Nana on my posts i'm blocking those people

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shoechoe · 27 days

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"potentially autistic enough to get regularly assumed some form of neurodivergent including just being asked 'are you autistic' several times from friends and acquaintances, but not obviously potentially autistic enough to ever be evaluated for it" is such an interesting spot to be in

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arklay · 1 year

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RESIDENT EVIL → DR. DIANA WESKER

"This is how a girl becomes holy: first she becomes empty." — Brynne Rebele-Henry, Prelude

[templates × & × — insp — playlist]

#mine.#oc: diana #tw: snakes #hi hii hello i'm alive and i bring gifts!! click for better quality as always ♡#so. it's still jan 15 (my hc birthday for wesker based on natal chart i did for him) somewhere in the world so diana gets an edit instead of #him. peace and love on planet earth lmao he gets a lil square but she's my beloved my gal... i was wondering if i should just leave this for #next month as you can see by that date on there for her lil creation anniversary but hehe anyhow i saw emily do this a bit ago with meshing #these two templates together and went omg i wanna do that i wanna but then i took this break and had some more shit happen so hiii #also i'm very behind on notifs i promise i'll get to them i've just been aughgh and haven't even scrolled or anything like i just queued #posts in my tracked tag this morning and oh man i didn't realise i was gone for so long huh... but anyways rambling as always but miss diana #my beloved the loml!!! sorry i use those two pictures for her all the time but also it's really hard to find hd ones of her fc in like the #era i see for her and the hair i like... like a lot of her pictures she has straight and like shoulder length hair and i'm like mmm that's #not it... but whatever. also cause i can't be bothered looking for nice pretty quotes and there's already one in there have that post #which multiple people sent to me a bit ago akdsjkjd oopsies

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dawntheduckrb · 5 months

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I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)

I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏

#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that #wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it #so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always #i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone #tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying;#'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc'#and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know #and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone #let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to #i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao)#i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself #but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice #makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude #so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol)#((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did))#i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry #i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody #i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them #everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share #this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this #tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :)#not rb #hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime)#i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one

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butchsophiewalten · 6 months

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Firstly, thank you so much for your constructive response. Replying to your post about Jenny&Jack's name problem.

1. I have no idea what makes you think that I blame Jenny for her inconsistent actions. I'm just trying to justify a point that seems illogical to me, and I'm turning to you bc your analyzes are really reasonable and I'd like to know your opinion.

2. I'm not saying its a plot hole and I'm not saying it's a HUGE one. It doesn't take detective deduction skills to ask my question, and I thought about it within the first 15 minutes of reading the /sophiewalten page. I understand and accept that there are conventions in a horror series, but this thing isn't that hard to rationalize, so why not do it? Feels like 'this too shall pass' energy.

3. In order to connect the '74th summer missing people, Jenny only needs to know Sophie’s surname and... Okay, it's a pretty absurd explanation, like not knowing your girlfriend's surname? whom you've living together for at least a year? I didn't even think about it. Sophie hides it? Sophie doesn’t know her own surname and lives with a different last name? Jenny just doesn't bother to find out such obvious information? It seems like a topic for another discussion.

4. The examples I gave in the original post are not literal, but are evidence of how much resonance the Walten family's case had among the Brighton society. I didn't mean that everyone there listens to the same radio station, reads the same newspaper and watches the same news channel for a 7,000 people town. I meant that Jack and others weren't some kind of no-names, unlike ordinary BSI workers, about whom Jenny for some reason knows and even saw&remembered their missing posters (she calls Ashley 'very pretty'. So the some random girl image from four years ago remains in her memory, but the fairly famous businessman name doesn't?).

I'll admit I realized shortly after I answered that ask that it was directed less specifically towards you, and moreso broadly directed at the gist of your complaint as well as a bunch of other similar complaints I've seen that I hadn't given myself the opportunity to talk about before. Which isn't particularly fair to you, so I'll stay more specific to your particular criticism this time.

I'm sort of confused by this. I'm trying to imagine what you think a better version of the /sophiewalten scene would be. You're saying you'd like it more if when Sophie didn't remember her father's name, Jenny filled her in on it being "Jack Walten", which is a name she remembers as a locally famous person from her childhood/early adulthood who disappeared. Which is.. fine? But that ultimately relies on rewriting Jenny to have information which she is clearly not supposed to have canonically. Information which (in my opinion, anyway), could spoil some of the most interesting opportunities for storytelling that The Walten Files has. I think it's actually really important, narratively, that Jenny has as little information as possible regarding Sophie's family, so that Sophie can seek that information out for herself and obtain it by actually interacting with the story, instead of just being told by another character. So, let's assume that's not what you mean, and what you're actually saying is that when Sophie brought up not remembering the name of her father, Jenny, in response, should have given some sort of excuse as to why she doesn't remember his name either. The name of her girlfriend's father which she isn't aware has anything to do with Bunny Smiles-related info that she may or may not have. I don't think I need to explain why that would feel really weird and unnatural, actually. I think it would bog down the scene very unnecessarily and take away from one of The Walten Files' only examples (so far) of interesting, character-focused exposition. The thing I'm additionally implying here is I think the knowledge Sophie has of how her missing family relates to BSI exactly is incredibly limited, and I don't think she's given any information about that connection to Jenny so far, because we have yet to see her do so. All Jenny knows is that her girlfriend's family disappeared. She doesn't know it actually has anything to do with Bunny Smiles, and even assuming she *does* remember that major missing person's case from her childhood, she isn't supposed to have made/remembered the connection between those disappeared people and the modern BSI, much less between both of those things and her girlfriend. If we were to get a textual explanation from the series as to why exactly she hasn't made these connections that would be fine, great even! But I think it would actually be really bad if that explanation occurred in /sophiewalten specifically. I think it would really weaken that scene. You have to remember we're literally only 1/4 of the way through the series right now, it has plenty of time to patch up little holes like this if it decides to do so. (That said, I really don't even think this explanation absolutely needs to happen? I'm sure it would settle people with opinions like yours, and that's all well and good. But, like how you say you were asking that question within the first 15 minutes of reading /sophiewalten, I very much wasn't. I'm struggling to articulate what exactly I'm trying to get across here, except that I was and am willing to suspend my disbelief far enough to just accept that Jenny doesn't have any more information here than Sophie does without additional explanation, because I think anything otherwise would have made what is legitimately a very good scene between those two characters a lot worse.)

I think I accidentally effectively addressed your other two points already. They are addressing a point which I personally think is fundamentally moot. I do not think there needs to be any explaining of whether or not Jenny knows Sophie's surname or why there's a line subtly implying Jenny's lesbianism instead of explaining why she doesn't remember the children's restaurant entrepreneur who was on the cover of Livingston Today Magazine eight and a half years ago

#ask #long post #if any of this seems condescending i'm genuinely really sorry about that #it's just honestly a little difficult for me to imagine what exactly bothers you about this idea #which i'd never even given a second though to until i saw people complaining about it on the internet #we may just have fundamentally incompatible points of view here

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halfelven · 11 months

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love random not even logged in readers just dropping their 'constructive criticism' on your 100k+ story that you're putting online entirely for free. this is just a rant btw

"You obviously have a great talent and I think you should work on honing it some. As much as I’ve enjoyed the story, there are a few things that stand out that you might consider looking at. I feel like the story isn’t sure what it wants to be at times; is it character driven or plot driven? It doesn’t flow smoothly because sometimes we have these wonderful character vignettes, like Illumi and Kalluto on a road trip or Kite/Leorio/Gon/Killua in an apartment where plot doesn’t really feel important, followed by what feels like heavily plot driven beats, like Kalluto and the spiders. In addition, it contributes to confusion because sometimes we see established characterization turned on its head. Especially the weird way everyone all of a sudden just sort of was OK with Kalluto being a spider and then working with Illumi when they just went to all that trouble to escape him? It all kind of feels forced and not natural. You know?

Anyway, I’ll definitely keep reading and look forward to seeing what happens."

first: love you trying to sound legitimate with your "in addition" like this is some kind of writer's workshop. second: in what way would I, the writer, think that an incomplete part of my story in which the reader does not yet know most of the main motivations (they are only hinted at so far) feels forced and not natural when I know what's happening, where it is going (and where I haven't had other readers comment with confusion about that part)

and moving on. don't do this. also like i said this is a wip in and no, no one is cool with Kalluto being a spider and no they're not cool working with Illumi, really. it was already established that some of them /have/ been working with Illumi before this~ he's someone that they know. like have you never been in a seriously dangerous situation that you just have to get through before you get back to what you want?*** also at this point Chrollo's real motive hasn't been entirely revealed.

Killua keeps changing his mind about what he's doing because he's a scared kid whose self-hatred is destroying him from the inside out. the POV is so tight that I have to keep dropping reminders that what is stated in the narrative is often not true! Illumi's POV, for example, keeps showing Killua as really loving him and being happy he's around but struggling with a desire for freedom, while with Killua's POV he's terrified of Illumi most of the time. like how is that not obviously a distorted POV where you can't trust the narrator?

"where plot doesn’t really feel important, followed by what feels like heavily plot driven beats"

this part is especially irritating because it's like yeah that's how I want to write it? this isn't a published novel. I don't have to commit to making sure every scene is important to the plot. I can spend time writing a full scene about someone drinking a glass of water and then 13 chapters in a row that are for moving the plot forward. I didn't even tag it as a novel... I did tag it for unreliable narration and I keep getting annoyed that people keep ignoring that.

"I feel like the story isn’t sure what it wants to be at times; is it character driven or plot driven?"

it's both??? it's neither??? it's a fanfic??? why do I keep getting comments lately where people are expecting me to adhere to like fucking publishing standards. this keeps up and I will write a chapter which is entirely about a minor character drinking a glass of water. watch me. I'll write one about phinks drinking a glass of water and you'll like it*

"Overall, the story is good and presented a compelling alternative to CA. Look, each fan has their own opinion on CA and I know I didn’t like it. I think it was a product of what Togashi was going through as he began to experience health issues and then finding himself right back where he said he wasn’t going to be mentally after he ended his earlier manga. We can never know for sure, but it certainly had a “watch it all burn vibe” to it near the end. I honestly believe he wanted it to end with the finality of Gon’s suicide as a capstone statement, but was probably convinced to go a different route, which kinda of left a jarring feel in the narrative and culminated in a rather unsatisfying end to Gon and Killua’s journey. Despite that, I am very reluctant to read fics where the events of CA are erased or grossly modified and honestly yours is really the first long AU/alternate timeline I’ve enjoyed"

okay first of all, I love the CA arc. but I had to split a point off where Kite was going to survive. why do you have to leave this whole paragraph about how you think Togashi was or wasn't going to go with the CA on my fanfic? I didn't even write this as 'oh look at my alternative to CA bc I hated CA' I don't really look forward to hearing comments about how random people didn't like so and so aspect of the story that I'm basing my story off of. I've never written fanfic for a story that I didn't like (except for some things that I don't have published I wrote at a request for friends for a fandom they were into that I wasn't really) and yeah I've wanted to 'fix' aspects (like tolkien's treatment of women for example) but I am not looking for your 'this is what I hated about the source material' comments on my stories

tired of getting comments with little 'oh I didn't like your style at first but now I do' or 'here's how to fix your story!' unsolicited advice from people who aren't better writers than me (I don't even want it from people who would be better writers than me on stuff I'm just doing for fun and for free)

when did stuff like this become normal? at least don't be a coward and be not logged in so you can't even get a response notification. like girl they aren't cool with it! why do you think everyone is on guard standing around like they're in a fucking hostage situation? how do you see such wildly different interpretations from different character's POVs and think it's not intentional? what part about Kite watching Killua like a fucking hawk makes you think he's going to let Illumi take him after this?

like if you've never had to smile and pretend to be cool with your abuser (pretend to love them) or someone who was threatening you to keep someone else safe then good for you! it fucking sucks! also don't know how to explain to you what a child who is growing up in an extremely isolated abusive situation goes through (though I keep writing about it in this story you should catch on...) but it's a million back and forths with emotion and feelings--especially if their abuser does (to in some way or to some degree) love them. and it is often blaming themselves. I'm not letting my years of studying human psychology and child development go to waste here**

is this story perfect? no but I'm not gonna hire an editor for a fanfic. and everyone's interpretations of characters will be different. especially with child characters who are going through huge changes in the world around them and their personal lives. part of the appeal of fanfiction is 'who would they become if this happened instead?' *sorry I keep writing about starving and not having clean drinking water but I will never stop because that's what I grew up with and it's hell. also phinks drinking water would be compelling since I assume he'd have harder access to clean drinking water

**hunter x hunter is also one of the only stories I have encountered with characters who have backgrounds as fucked up as mine and Togashi's interest in human psychology really stands out.

***like good for you but that was most of my life and you sometimes just have to shut up and get through it. and no I will not put my notes in the right order bc I'm not being paid enough****

****I'm being paid nothing

#sorry i got one too many comments that irritated me #feel free to chime in if you're getting comments like this too #it's been really getting on my nerves lately #and making me not want to post anything #you're not my teacher or editor #and i don't use a beta reader bc i'd never post anything #if i had to think of it as work and not just for me #i already do writing for work where i have to really consider the reader #i also didn't like one commenter pointing out typos #i'll catch them at some point #they were like great chapter! here's all the mistakes i saw #so download the story and fix them yourself if they bother you so much you have to run through and do line edits #if you don't want typos i'd have to wait two to three months so the story looked fresh #to catch them before posting and i'm not doing that #you can think this sounds bitchy but writing is hours and hours of work #i could jot down five sentences just for myself and have a story for years just remembering what i was thinking when i wrote those #you want a perfectly edited story? then go read a professionally published book #oh i guess that's not good enough for you either #okay now i am being bitchy but in my defense #i'm not forcing them to read it

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