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obsessivelyloved · 2 days

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This was requested on one of my nsfw blogs but I went insane and made it 3,000 words long. So I can post most of it here lol. Just know that in my heart, this takes place in Arkham. Also I'm super rusty so I apologize if anything feels off/wonky. The ending is abrupt here bc the rest of it/the ending is nsfw. I was up til 5am writing this and I'm not writing a sfw ending for this blog until after i get more sleep.

Anon asks: I’m a big sucker for Psych Au fics. Reader is a cis female doctor who treats Tord with kindness. He becomes obsessed with her. Refuses to talk to any other doctor. Tord is always on his best behavior for her which leads her to let her guard down. BIG MISTAKE

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“You dropped this.”

The man stares at you wide eyed as you hand him his lighter. He stands, rigid. You give him a gentle smile and press it into his palm, your other hand curling around the back of his hand.

“I know there’s no fluid in it, so you don’t have to worry about me taking it,” you say to him. You pat his hand and step away.

The man turns fully towards you and you’re able to read the name sewed onto his shirt.

“I-” the man- Tord- swallows hard. He quickly pockets the lighter. “Thank you.”

You give him another smile and walk past him. He seemed to be going the same way as you but he never caught up. Nor did you hear footsteps behind you. Once you reach the director’s office, he leaves your thoughts. You were determined to make a good first impression on your first day of the job.

The man you met earlier had turned out to be your first patient. And oh boy, what a patient he was. Like you had promised yourself you weren’t going to judge any of these people but god damn. His file was thick. At least twenty papers were inside the manilla folder you had received from the head director’s office. Maybe even more.

You’d never know if you kept standing outside the director’s office gawking at it. You take a deep breath. Going through it sitting down was probably a good idea. As you make your way to the breakroom, your grip on the folder is tight, trying your best to make sure you don’t drop it and reveal your patient's file.

Thankfully, it doesn’t take you long to get to the breakroom. A few people were there but they paid you no mind. They sit, hunched over lunch or their own files. You sit and start to read.

Løvik Tord

3 7 2 5 9

DOB: 1995

Age: 28

Hair: Dark brown with lighter brown roots

Eye: Silver

You end up skimming through this until you get to the bottom of the page. It wasn’t… pretty.

CASE INFORMATION:

Tord is a violent man. He is aggressive, manipulative, and has a short temper. Many doctors have tried working with him to no avail. He does not respond kindly to Dr.Casey (see page 5), Dr.Bonnie (see page 8), Dr.Roxy (see page 12), or Dr.Harley (see page 15).

He is extremely aggressive towards Dr. Bruce (see page 20).

You stop reading there, your chest feeling tight. You flip to page twenty. It’s not the last page like you had hoped. There were still…. Quite a bit in the file.

Dr.Bruce has tried everything he can to help Tord. He has tried finding common ground with the patient. Has tried being lax and strict with Tord’s schedule. Has tried working with Tord and letting him sit outside. Tord had found every loophole and burned every bridge until Dr.Bruce stopped lenient treatments. Tord stabbed Dr.Bruce fifteen times before guards made their way into the room.

It is unknown how and where he had gotten his hands on a sharp long blade. Tord was seen licking the blood of-

“Don’t worry if you can’t fix him. At this point, Doctor Markman hands his case off to fresh blood to showcase this place. No one expects you to be able to tame him.”

You startle at the voice, goosebumps raised on your arms. “I’m sorry?” you ask with a polite smile. Anger clouded your fear. What the hell was this person talking about?

The doctor, Alice, her name tag reads, smiles at you.

“Nearly everyone has tried working with him at this point,” she continues. “No one expects him to ever get better. He's here for murder, after all.”

You give her a tight smile in return. “I’ll just have to see for myself.”

Before she can keep going, you straighten up the papers and close the folder.

“I appreciate the advice, but I must be going now,” you lie through your teeth. What bullshit! What kind of doctors run this place?

You actually hadn’t needed to be anywhere for another thirty minutes but if this conversation continued you wouldn’t be able to hold your tongue. Everyone can be saved. With compassion and kindness and help, no one was beyond redemption. Or too far gone for help.

You storm out of the breakroom and wander.

“I was hoping I’d see you again.”

Tord grins at you as he’s escorted in. His hands are cuffed and before he can sit down, the guard pats him down.

It makes your stomach churn but you keep your face kind.

“It’s nice to see you too,” you greet. You watch cautiously as he sits down in the plush chair. The guard leaves the room.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

It’s silent enough to hear the clock as the two of you study each other. He seems to drink you in, eyes wandering up and down, seeming to take in everything. You’d do the same if you weren’t a professional.

“You used to dye your hair?”

Tord raises an eyebrow. He tilts his head a little, eyes focused solely on you. It unnerves you almost as much as his file had. No patient of yours had ever stared at you so intensely in the past….

After a moment, he answers. “Yes. I fancied black quite a bit.” He gestures towards his roots. “It’s been a while since Bruce got me more dye. No one else will.”

“I could look into it,” you clasp your hands, jumping into this opportunity. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll talk to Doctor Marksman.”

“And what do you want from me in return?”

“I’m sorry?”

His gaze hardens. “What. do. You. want.” He grinds out, his body rigid in the chair. His hands were clenched.

Without thinking, puzzlement falls across your face. What did he mean? What did you want? For him to get better, obviously.

“I want you to be at ease with your mental health,” you answer, still looking puzzled. “I don’t want anything else from this job but that. I’m not dangling hair dye in front of you in exchange. I want you to feel comfortable in your skin and at home here, Mr.Løvik.”

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

“Is that really what you want?” Tord asks, an emotion you can’t quite place in his voice. “To help me get better?”

Whatever it may be, you smile at him.

“Of course. I want nothing but to see you succeed and be happy here.”

Things were easier after that first session. You always started off kindly, asking Tord how his day was going. If his favorite show or movie had aired on the television today.If his favorite food had been served that morning or afternoon. If he slept fine through the dreadful storm.

(“I know I wasn’t,” you had laughed. “I tossed and turned, jumping at each sound all night.”

“I’m sure your boyfriend was quite displeased.”

“Oh,” you chuckle. “Well, no. I have a cat but no boyfriend. I was too busy getting my decree to ever really mingle like that. Though, my poor little man was also distraught at all the thunder last night. He yowled at my door until I let him into my room and he curled up on my bed. I’ll bring pictures next time.”)

Too well for you and only you. Tord refused to talk to anyone but you. He would sit in silence or insult other doctors during his sessions. In one instance, he broke a new doctor’s nose. The poor guy had quit on the spot, cussing Tord and the whole place out as he was escorted to the medical section.

You were tense the next few sessions but that violent man was nowhere to be found. He kept his cuffed hands right in front where you can see them at all times. He never lunged from you. In fact, barely ever moved in his chair.

Tord was easygoing. Polite, charming, even. He took any medications he needed obediently and put up no fuss when you’d have him describe in later sessions how he was feeling and if he was feeling any negative side effects.

He asked about your cat. About how your favorite show was going. If the movie you were looking forward to has come out yet. If your favorite restaurant down the street from your apartment was still closed for renovations.

Eventually, enough time had passed that you relaxed. You stopped keeping your eyes trained on his hands. You stopped worrying yourself sick about his body language. You focused on his treatments and his mental health.

If he was going to hurt me he would have done so by now, you thought to yourself after your latest session with Tord. He was doing so much better than he had been doing six months ago. It seemed as if you were really making a difference, helping him improve.

It had been three months since he last fought another patient. Two months since he assaulted another doctor. And five months since he refused treatment of any kind.

You step outside the building and take a deep breath. A dopey smile sticks to your face as you walk to your car. Becoming a doctor was the best choice you’ve ever made. Nothing was more rewarding than helping people. Not even this cloudy weather could bring you down.

In fact, nothing tried to drag your mood down. There was no traffic on the way home. Some asshole hadn’t parked in your assigned parking spot again in the parking lot of your apartment. And your sweet cat hadn’t knocked his little box over again.

You happily reheat your leftovers and watch tv for a while before you get ready for bed. Unfortunately, your mood does come crashing down.

In the middle of the night, thunder wakes you. You jolt up, scrambling for your phone. Your hands come up empty. Shit, you think. I left it charging in the kitchen. Ugh. Oh well, you don’t need to look at your phone to see it is late and storming.

Another loud sound booms through your apartment. Only this time, it sounds like a crash.

“It’s just thunder,” you tell yourself. “Nothing to be afraid of.” You lay back down. Your eyes shut and you’re just about drifting to sleep when your door creeks open.

You bolt up, knowing damn well that your cat can’t open doors and you freeze.

Your heart races as your mind tries to process just who was in front of you.

“Tord?” you whimper, hands shaking. But that can’t be. That was impossible. He was supposed to be sleeping soundly in his room with the soundproof headphones you got him. He didn’t like storms. The thunder reminded him too much of gunshots and made him restless.

Useless information floods your brain.

“I’m home, sweetheart,” he rasps. His grin is soft in the moonlight. He reaches over to flick on your bedroom light.

He’s gentle he’s kind he’s sweet he’s-

He’s covered in blood.

Tord steps forward and you’re frozen in bed. His eyes are wild as they drink you in. There’s blood on his hands. In his hair. Splatters on his face.

“Oh honey how I’ve dreamed of this,” he croons at the foot of your bed. “Your apartment is just as cute as you described.”

#tw yandere #yandere tw #yandere tord #yandere tord x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere fic #yandere x you #yandere x female reader

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americansrequiems · 11 hours

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your life is one to share

tk/carlos, 1k, quick celebration fic bc happy one year to them!

(my ao3 situation is kinda awk rn, so here i am posting this on tumblr! i wrote this in an hour, so please be kind to me in the tags <3)

One more hour and you'll know your life is one to share Just a minute, baby, right before we go from here All those people said we wouldn't last a minute near I'm with you and I could roll into another year — one more hour, tame impala.

Carlos wakes up to sunlight streaming through the windows, and the feel of TK’s body snuggled up close against his own. The comforter is resting at their waists, and Carlos just takes the moment in, savoring it.

He opens one eye, lifting his left hand, and is immediately hit with the shine of a familiar gold band resting on his ring finger. And he smiles at the sight of it. One year. Carlos can’t help but grin at the feeling of being a husband, at the feeling of being known and loved. He still can’t wrap his mind around it, even after all this time— TK’s willing to look at his jagged little pieces and love him the same? It’s unbelievable to Carlos, something that makes him want to explode with joy.

(“I’m so fucking gone for you,” TK had said on that first night of their honeymoon, completely sated, tucked under strewn linen sheets, his arms wrapped around Carlos’ torso. Sweat is cooling on both of them, drying tacky against their skin and Carlos knows that they should shower, but he’s too invested in running his fingers over TK’s overly-warm skin.

“We did it, sweetheart.”

Carlos had stared down at their interlocked fingers, at their rings, a silent promise of never letting go. His heart thudded against his ribcage and he began to wonder how lucky a man could truly be. In all of his years on this earth, he couldn’t have even dreamt of a love so powerful, so all-consuming. When he looked at TK, the man just gave him a soft smile, and kissed him, tasting of the virgin piña coladas they both had drank earlier in the evening.

“We sure did,” Carlos replied against his lips, smiling into the kiss. There was this feeling of grief, an entity that was threatening to swallow him whole— but then, there was this: TK’s love. The love he has for TK, and the love that he receives from TK— is enough to mend his broken soul, is enough to make everything feel better. And Carlos holds onto that.)

TK stirs in his arms, enough to bring him out of the memory. He turns to face him, eyes slowly blinking open and Carlos can’t fight his smile. TK squints at him, and Carlos’ heart just melts— his hair is sticking up at all ends, his t-shirt is rumpled, and his emerald green eyes are shining with so much love that Carlos wonders where it all comes from.

"Morning,” Carlos plays with his wedding band for a moment, watching TK blink the sleep out of his eyes.

“Good morning,” TK mumbles, voice still edgy with sleep and Carlos feels a rush of desire flow down his spine. “Was dreaming about you.”

Carlos flips the two of them around, to where he’s on top of TK.

“Yeah?” Carlos asks softly, brushing their noses together. “Does it have anything to do with what day it is?”

“Maybe,” TK replies, a pink flush appearing on his cheekbones. He drags his hand over the soft skin of Carlos’ hip, smiling. “Remind me?” It’s a teasing question, Carlos can tell by the way TK’s brow lifts up.

“Oh, I’ll remind you.” Carlos leans in, and starts pressing kisses along TK’s jawline, his ear, and over the soft skin at his neck. TK writhes against him as he sucks at the base of his neck, his mind finally waking up, and thinking, oh. He’s never felt more cherished, more lucky.

“Baby—babe,” TK gasps slightly as Carlos pulls away, his hands coming up to cradle his face. His eyes are wide now, with lust and love and Carlos just gets lost in the sheer brilliance of them, in the brilliance of him, of his husband. One year. One year of love and it’s all endless, and Carlos can’t get enough of it and he knows that this well that rests in his soul will never run out of love for TK. And he can’t— he can’t put all of that into words, so he just exhales.

“My god, I love you,” Carlos mumbles, as he runs his fingers over TK’s arms, leaving goosebumps in the wake of his soft touches.

He leans down to kiss TK’s shoulder, moving his lips down to kiss at his biceps, running his tongue over the tattoo on his inner arm. Carlos feels TK shiver, whispering i love you more, his hands coming up to rest on Carlos’ back. Carlos relishes in it— relishes in the feeling of TK’s blunt nails digging into his back during sex; he aches for the feeling of his husband’s fingers in his hair, scratching at the scalp as he runs them through his curls. Whenever TK gets close enough to touch, Carlos doesn’t waste a moment. Over the years, he’s grown tactile (which he blames TK for) always needing to touch TK, even if it’s small.

“Happy anniversary, Mr. Reyes-Strand,” TK murmurs, breathless. Carlos grins down at him, hands rubbing circles over his chest, still smiling as he kisses over TK’s cheekbone. Carlos can feel his husband’s smile widen, even as he kisses all over his face: his nose, over his jaw again, making a point to drag his teeth over the stubble— causing TK to gasp softly. When he’s finished, he lifts his head up and looks at his husband, and thinks, my god. His heart thrums in time with this emotion inside of him, nearly overwhelming. It’s enough to make Carlos feel as if he’s on fucking cloud nine. It makes him feel weightless, as if he’s been saved.

And truthfully, TK has saved his life. He’s the bright spot in a cloud of grief, he’s the eternal flame at the end of a never ending tunnel— he was just some guy underneath a rainstorm that night, was just some firefighter at the bar— honestly, Carlos knew this would happen. As soon as he looked into TK’s eyes, when he took his hand for the first time… he knew that they would end up together. It wasn’t just some pipe dream, it was, as Gwyn would say, kismet. And Carlos never believed in that until he met TK. But he certainly believes in it now as he lazily runs his fingers through TK’s unruly hair, and says:

“Happy anniversary, husband.”

#911ls #911ls fic #911 lone star #tk x carlos #tk strand #carlos reyes #this is just fluff ! have at it !#dare i say…. the quickest thing i’ve written 💍

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codename-adler · 1 day

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AftG AUs I NEED : An Open Invitation to All Writers

sharing ideas i’ve toyed with for so long but i’m beginning to accept i prolly won’t ever write, thus i’m taking a chance some of these will bewitch someone out there body and soul, and i’ll be able to scratch the itch a little… the more the merrier after all !

The Last of Us : either a romantic version of Joel & Ellie’s dynamic (obv. with the ages adjusted) /OR/ episode 3 AU 🥲 [any ship]

Detroit: Become Human : this one i’m really only thinking of Andreil, with either as android and the other as human… i don’t necessarily see them conforming to a specific plot line from the game, i think the android/human dynamic is interesting enough and fits them perfectly, but go off i guess !

Brokeback Mountain : i don’t really need to explain this one do i? happy ending vs. canon character death, that is the true question… [any ship]

Titanic : it’s got so many options and tropes, it’s like a buffet for fic writers ! could be used as setting only, or follow Jack & Rose’s tragic (or not!) love story. [any ship]

The Haunting of Bly Manor : Jamie & Dani haunt me still. great opportunity for Renison, Lailalvarez or Kathea, or perhaps a gender swap on mlm ship? or not, leave them boys as is. haunt me, it’s all i ask. [any ship]

BBC Johnlock : don’t shoot the messenger alright? sorry for the ptsd flashbacks btw. i just think their dynamic and crime/detective AU are great opportunities. i’m personally partial to Jeanaaron for this one, as they were my og idea bc the similarities are??? amazing??? Sherlock!Jean & Watson!Aaron, and the Reichenbach Fall??? so neat. but really, [any ship]

The Maze Runner : Thominewt // Kandreil !?!?!? it’s right there! [any ship] tho.

SKAM : ofc Robbe & Sander from WtFock are physically the perfect Andreil which leads to a great adaptation opportunity here, but Élu from SkamFr are also a great blueprint for a Kevaaron story. honestly any S3 Skam + [any ship]

Dune : listen, i don’t have all the answers. idk how that would even work. but surely you can figure smth out ! [any ship]

Inception : i love the movie. i love hans zimmer. i love Arthur x Eames. NORA SAKAVIC LOVES ARTHUR x EAMES. they’ve got such Andreil vibes, but so do Jerejean, even Renison. and the Foxes as dream crew??? so perf it’s insane. give me and Miss Sakavic what we really want. [any ship]

The Fault in Our Stars : 🥲 [any ship]

CA: The Winter Soldier / Civil War : so it’s kind of like an amnesia AU, but more angsty bc Stucky dynamic. Andreil’s the perfect fit, but who knows who else… [any ship]

Jujutsu Kaisen : 🥲🥲 [any ship.s]

Attack on Titan : 🥲🥲🥲 endless, endless paths… to pain ! [any ship.s]

How I Live Now : is that too niche? or too boring? 🤷‍♀️ (also let’s leave out the cousin thingy…) [any ship]

Red, White & Royal Blue : duh. (but not so duh, apparently, since i’ve yet to read it !!!) [any ship]

The Old Guard : oh the possibilities… Yusuf & Niccolo my loves… nobody be doing it like them, nobody. absolutely one of the most movie ever… top 10 of mine for sure. ugh, gosh ! foxes as Immortals?? the action, the mystery, the soulmates?? please i’m begging. [any ship]

that's what i'm letting go of for now... if anything inspires you, please tag me in your works so i can indulge in and appreciate what you've come up with!!

Love, Adler xx

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stellarspecter · 7 months

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okay i don't know if the hyperfixation will hold long enough for me to actually write this but au where everything is the same but the waylon house is just a bit more structurally sound. max doesn't die and is like 'thanks for this guys, is that the whole party or?' and everyone just sort of looks at each other like. well we don't want to anger him so what can we say but yes. and so the nerds and max end up hanging out for a night in the waylon house and the worst thing that happens is grace chastity is tempted to have a beer for the first time (she doesn't though. but with max offering it's very hard for her to refuse. or focus lol) max keeps giving them weird backhanded compliments like 'wow you guys are way cooler than you look, how'd that happen' which is not the best but it's way better than being beat up for daring to be in his line of sight, so they'll take it.

so they all hang out for the night, max is like weirdly chill and friendly, eventually he leaves and they're left standing outside the waylon house like. ?? what the fuck??? did we just befriend max jagerman???? the nerds are still apprehensive considering pete still has a black eye, grace is still boiling with religious zeal and repressed lust, and steph still doesn't really like him, but they can't help but remember how he said that trying to prank him was the nicest thing someone's ever done for him. and that just can't be true, considering he's literally the star quarterback and the main character of hatchetfield high, but.... the fact that he felt like it enough says a lot, doesn't it?

so they decide to leave the prank footage to gather dust and figure this was probably the best outcome they could have hoped for. who knows what they'll walk into at school tomorrow? maybe max will become a friend.

#and he does :)#nerdy prudes must die #npmd spoilers #npmd #i just. the brainworms. they're in me #if anything it would just be a oneshot i'm not trying to rewrite the show or anything #but like yeah max joins the friend group :)#do you ever think about how genuinely touched he was that they basically made him his own haunted house?#that shit was exposure therapy and they didn't even know it #and like dear god 'this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me'??? lines to go crazy about forever!!!!#bc like he's popular he's a star everyone knows him but no one's nice to him? do we know anything about his family?#and like obviously he's an asshole so like yeah why would people be nice to him if he's such a dick #but like.... consider this: babygirl #he was really endearing in that minute between being pranked and dying ok?#he was like a totally different person the minute the social pressure was gone #ok ok enough tag rambling. if enough people want this i will actually write it #*speaks

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mumbledramblings · 4 months

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[Trigun OC]

Team "would rather die than admit something's bothering them"

So for the first good chunk of their relationship, Bad Luck and Vash were more "fucking" than "dating". Bad Luck was really apprehensive about romantic entanglements, and had been taken advantage of by a friend, in the past. (While not THE reason he was kicked out of his community, it was definitely related.)

However, Vash-- aware of Luck's hesitance but not of the reasons why-- already had a little bit of a crush on him. So when Luck stupidly offered a FWB situation, Vash accepted, thinking he could be chill about it. He quickly realized, no, he could NOT be chill about it, and spent the next few months relentlessly pining and feeling guilty and wanting to broach the subject, but never saying anything.

Eventually, Vash's crush gets revealed, and by that point Bad Luck has kinda fallen in love with him and they get together and Bad Luck insists that it's all fine, water under the bridge. Truthfully, though, he feels a little betrayed, and has this sense of "why the fuck would you think that's a good idea" towards Vash, hanging over his head. But he also thinks he has no place feeling this way because he never told Vash why he was so hesitant (and still hasn't), and also he does love Vash now anyway, so there's really no point bringing this up now and messing with the status quo, right?

And that's just the beginning of their relationship. There's a whole bunch of other plot-related problems they never talk about until after things boil over. Eventually, they'll get their acts together and talk through everything, I promise. Eventually. It just, might take until after the plot's fully resolved for them to get there.

#typing up this post for the THIRD TIME because i'm FUCKING STUPID and ACCIDENTALLY DELETED the last one #to the person who left the nice comment on the other one i'm so sorry i just accidentally posted it while i was still typing and i panicked #trigun #trigun stampede #trigun fanart #vash the stampede #mid draws #oc - bad luck #trigun oc #mid writes #copying the tags on the other post bc they're relevant and i want them to be seen #working title is “i hope we both die”#which doesn't explain exactly what's going on between them #but i hope it helps you grasp how much they Dont Talk about their problems #you can tell whenever i have a mental spiral because i turn all my favs into the most terrible people to have a relationship with #i love you vash and i know you're a good boy in my heart #but i firmly believe he's never had a healthy relationship and he's not about to start now #/end #If anything is worded/formatted weird do not tell me. it's 3:30am and i typed this in a panicked frenzy #i'm going back to bed

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trashcanwithsprinkles · 1 year

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the little self-insert debacle got me thinking of what an actual self-insert of myself would be like in genshin so-

so i made a genshinsona. p sure i saw a bunch of people making these a while back, but i haven’t seen many since

anyway, uh- given this is sort of my genshin blog, i thought i’d share;;

#when the gang had us take the vision assignment quizes (and kin assignment because of course)#not one quiz gave me the same result as the last. so like #i'm picking dendro solely bc i have an uncanny ability to grow aloe. like the plant. it's an infestation at this point #archer bc i used to play archery tag #fun stuff #i know natlan fits aren't going to look anything like that but hey #if natlan is indeed latam then i kinda have no option #.png #.png genshin

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fleshdyke · 2 months

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#csa warning for tags #ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh #completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i #also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad #like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man #was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to #'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background #all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or #whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important #i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting #that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently #wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all.#and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head #like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have #to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it.#bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit #i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus #an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually #harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all #bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid.#and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is #but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core.#i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways #rambles #vent

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dimiclaudeblaigan · 8 months

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I really hate the inconsistencies that exist just to make SB (and CF technically) work, but also how hard Petra basically simps for Edelgard to the point it deconstructs aspects of her character.

In Houses she mentions her siblings being in danger if she died, but in SB she just doesn't even make any mention of them in this situation. She's just willing to possibly die all of a sudden for someone who never actually treated Brigid like its people were independent (which she could've done at literally any time from the moment she became emperor). She was relatively vocally I guess you could say "good" to Petra, but the way the writing handles Petra's response to all of it feels like Petra's just been brainwashed.

Petra says she would always choose survival and makes a point to emphasis that, but in SB she's completely and carelessly willing to risk her life and possibly throw it away... for Edelgard? Who still has not actually officially freed Brigid? And if Petra were to stop being Edelgard's ally?

"Reconsideration". Because Brigid was never freed and now they're not going to be as long as Edelgard is in charge, because their queen is no longer bending to her will and fighting for her. If she was ever truly planning to free Brigid, Petra's decision alone not to fight for her shouldn't have changed that fact (especially since she supposedly gives her the choice in Houses to fight for her or not, and on non CF routes she does this by sending a letter, to which Petra refuses).

It should, of course, be obvious with this that everything is very not hunky dory between Adrestia and Brigid, but then...

...eh wot hooligans???

I mean sure, if you considered forced vassalage to be "peace" and not being a free people "peace" then sure. But like... it's not a peace her people want and she should know that, but the game tends to do this back and forth with this topic. I hate it though because it makes it come across as being forced into submission and not having the means to fight back is "peace".

I know this game has lots of issues with uh, if you're attacked or if you were defeated by another military force you should submit and be happy about being taken over, and when you can't fight back anymore that's "peace" because nobody's fighting... but uhh... why is that only an issue with the Empire? I mean, we know why - the devs wanted to walk with her and they admitted it! But like... they should still know when they're writing something reeeeally icky.

Duscur doesn't have this problem and they're not under Edelgard's foot. Anything under Edelgard's foot though is treated like they should be thankful for her control and/or invasion(s). That just overall sends a really nasty message. I don't know that the devs meant to do that as far as an Empire, but I do think it's because they went a little hard with the Edelgard bias and somehow forgot what it would look like to an audience playing the game.

It's like they know it's not a good thing but they keep pushing the "Brigid isn't actually free but it's still peace because nobody is fighting" narrative.

Like... I don't care how much you love a character you're writing. You can't tell me that oppressed nations would just call oppressions "peace" or that their leaders would be more than happy to fight and die for the leader of the nation oppressing them. It gets even worse when you get into the racial territory of it, but that's a topic I've already covered so I'm not gonna go over it again here.

#DCB Three Hopes Run #I know ppl have talked abt this before but it's still smth that bugs me and #frankly this game is only a year old so the issues that were present in Houses #now being present again in Hopes means they were not fixed at all in the writers room #as recently as a year ago. I'm glad they went back to normal FE formula with Engage bc of shit like this #And yeah reminder I discuss some of the negative/harder topics here and not just what I like #I don't tag anything like this outside my own tag(s) though bc I'm not interested in discourse #but I still want to be able to talk about this stuff and I do have some mutuals who are interested in these discussions #which I say this bc I have a section of mutuals who don't like these discussions #and a section of mutuals who do want to discuss this stuff and typically the ones who do go into these topics #tend to be on/posting/etc around the time I'm posting this one so I try to balance when I post these things #around the time those mutuals will be on and when the others are sleepingggg zzzz bc I got at least a bit lucky with that!#Generally one side of y'all are awake at once so it works out pretty well #I talk abt things in equal measure with things I love abt these games so if it's just smth that #I want to talk abt then I do with all my little details and stuff bc that's what I do for all FE games #If I don't like smth I'm gonna talk abt it just like if I like smth I will talk abt it

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