#I'm just gonna freak myself out
Text
OUGH I need to stop googling symptoms :((((
#I'm just gonna freak myself out#but like. at what point do i need to be seriously concerned about pain in my back??#preferably without having to look at articles telling me that I'm actively going to die right now tonight#and can it please just go away on its own k thanks#shh ac
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
God. Imagine if we get summer/winter games again
#i know everyone's busy freaking out over shourtney but I've moved on to more important things /hj#i NEED it#i miss my wife tails#i miss her a lot#(smosh summer/winter games)#itd be so much fun with all the new cast members + the return of anthony#its been like a year or smth since he came back. I think I spelt his name wrong I'm tired#has it almost been a year?#anyways#itd be so fun and so silly#anyways I'm just gonna keep convincing myself this every year til it happens#smosh#smosh summer games#this is
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
May 27, 2023 the day max verstappen complimented charles' outfit live
#lestappen#IM GONNA K- MYSELF#I can't believe I'm freaking out just because he said that#cl16#mv1#omg omg omg
101 notes
·
View notes
Text
semi-heavy adhd vent tw 🫢🫢
personally of the opinion that the worst thing about adhd is the subtlety. we joke abt how obvious and silly it is but its barely visible 95% of the time.
& u spend your whole life not knowing if the mental struggle you have doing basic shit is what everyone deals with or if something's wrong. even when you KNOW you have adhd and even have it TREATED you STILL don't know if you're having a normal amount of obstacles.
i've been on meds for two years now and i just spent a whole fucking summer semester not sure if i was having adhd burnout or if my meds weren't working or if i was actually just being lazy. i think its all three, but who knows! and now i have a final tomorrow that i have to pass and i dont know if i can because i could barely fucking do any work all semester.
this happens like every year/semester but this one particularly stings cause it was supposed to be really good this time!! lots of free time, one class to worry about, the best nd-friendly note-taking system i've ever used, lots of flexibility, and friends to spend time with. it was even a science class!! chem, not bio, but better than non-science, right? but apparently, the only way i can ever stay motivated and on the ball is if im chained to a super-stressful and merciless schedule. so i have to choose between my long-term success and my mental health!!
i don't envy neurotypicals for the weird fucking ways they operate sometimes but good lord fucking jesus it sounds nice to be able to do things. i feel like a loaded gun with a busted trigger; i have all these amazing ideas and well-thought-out schedules and all the passion and desperation to follow through, but my brain and body just. won't. do it.
#vent#adhd#im really freaking out ngl but i will pull through because i HAVE to#i did the math and as long as i get like a 50 on this test i will almost definitely pass#but i'd at least like a -B#im just trying to find a way to be productive without destroying myself#cause i tried the insanely busy routine in the spring semester of my senior year of highschool and it worked!!#but i was sickly and exhausted and losing weight and everyone but me noticed#i kinda promised my friends not to do that to myself again#god i hate having adhd sometimes FUCK#i keep telling myself im only 18 and i'm still figuring out my adhd and unlearning the habits i learned growing up to survive#and that a lot of people do stupid shit and struggle in college even WITHOUT adhd#but omg how long is it going to take until i can rely on myself#im really scared im never gonna figure it out and i wont be able to do the things i wanna do#i just wanna sit in a lab all day and research cells or some shit man!! put me in a room full of bugs or worms or something!! jesus!!#this isn't the fun witty adhd stuff i like posting about but hey at least my brethren out there will be able to relate :)#adhd student#adhd struggles#adhd mood#adhd problems#neurodivergent#neurodivergent student#college#stem student#buggie's nerd stuff
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#my grad school interview is in two days and i am freaking out#like i want this so badly#and i feel like i'm gonna screw it up#they interview thousands of candidates#and it's such a small class size#like on some level i know that i am good enough on paper that they want to interview me#but what if i just make a fool out of myself#and ruin my chances#my stomach is literally in knots
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
not l&o related at all but i'm so scared of accidentally looking at the eclipse and going blind i can't get any work done lmao
#i can usually see the sun right outside my window around 3pm and i drew the blinds but i'm so scared idk why#like it's not gonna come and get me#i have the glasses but they barely fit over my prescription glasses so i'm probs not even gonna chance it#i'm just freaking myself out atp LMAO#22plus15 speaks
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tag Game
Post your lockscreen, last song you listened to, last saved photo, and last photo taken!
Thanks for the tag @mystical-salamander !
No-pressure tagging @theres-whump-in-that-nebula @mossywriting @halibellecter @serpentarius @paintedmagpie and whoever else wants to play
#i'm gonna do this wrong because i don't want to advertise all the apps I use#tag game#freaking myself out posting personal stuff 2023#Music#Star wars#guns tw#took a picture of the patch to translate at home because I thought i was reading it wrong#I was not prepared for French#I am tagging people who seem to play tag games or have mentioned they like being tagged so if you want to or don't want to tell meee#This is one of those things I just do not figure out
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
cw health talk (tags too)
well. blood tests will be back monday because of the stupid holiday making it a long weekend from thursday on aughhh. going back to the doc tomorrow to get sth else checked and hopefully get a doc's notice for the week because my ass is NOT able to go to work like this
#jesus fucking CHRISSSTTTT#at least the ears are fine hey that's good#but also aughhhh i'm probably quite literally just freaking myself out without anything actually being wrong#but then again that's probably what's wrong with me LMFAO#i should ask my doc about getting help w anxiety LOL it's Never been THIS bad#my SIL is gonna come with me tomorrow bc i'm so anxioussss and mom's away#cas.txt#cw health#cw vent#?#kind of#mannnnnnnnn#for context btw i keep having either circulatory issues or dizziness issues or literally just anxiety freaking myself out
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
*
#just wrote up my Official Notice for work#I'm just so so so over my job#I'm gonna vibe for a bit and hopefully get a better job#I know this is the right thing to do for myself rn#but I'm also freaking out about it#me @ myself: it's not that deep you work for minimum wage#also me: AAAAAAAHHHHH
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#gonna be depressing in the tags for a moment#pls excuse me#but whenevery i see a pair of friends that are like soulmates together#who laugh and scream about what they love and have so many things in common#i always become the personification of ''i want what they have''#ever since i was a child i would pray (you heard that right lol) to get a best friend who shared my interests and passions#(and who was gay but that's included in interests and passions lol tho i didn't know it at the time)#i dream with the sitcom worthy friendships with the you get the key to my house and you can come in whenever#we just spend days sitting together and not even talking just being there#or the next best thing. find it online!#but that will never happen and i need to accept that#not even for lack of trying... i even went to a hobby class for a whole month trying to make friends irl#but it's impossible for the simplest reason... i don't enjoy it!#every time i try to do something new and out of my comfort zone i fail misserably because it's literal hell to me#how can i make a friend if i cannot talk to people?#online or whatever?!#i can't even talk to the people i know from school or whatever#i put in so much fucking effort and freak myself out!#and it's not working and it won't work and idk what to do about it!#so yeah i don't think i'm capable of having meaningful relationships actually#and i need to really accept that cause otherwise i will forever dream with it#like i need to stop trying to chase after it it's just not gonna happen#i guess people have these feelings about romantic partners? well not me lol#anyways...#angel talks#personal
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
My last bout of sleep paralysis (which was when I was recently hospitalized for nine days and getting no sleep because literally almost every half hour someone was waking me up for vitals or a blood drawl or to give me medicine or to prod my stomach or the attending bringing in the interns because I'm a great case study or because my infusion pump wanted to make obnoxious noises for no reason) was so horrific that when I told my therapist about it yesterday she visibly paled and freaked out on my behalf. Is that a good sign?
#would have loved if i had been hooked up to the heart monitor at the time to see how fast my heartrate shot up while it happened#and it would have been mildly amusing to see the nurses freak out over it#coincidentally and predictably my nurse did in fact come in a few minutes later to give me my meds#at like 2 a.m. because that's just how schedules roll i guess#and she say ME all pale and bug eyed as i desperately tried to distract myself on my phone because i didn't want to fall asleep again#and when she asked me what was wrong and i told her she clucked her tongue and said honey i wouldn't want to sleep after that either#I've had four boughts of it over the last six years or so which doesn't sound like an lot but one time is enough for me#so I'm gonna ask my PCP this week for a sleep study#sleep paralysis#sleep disorder#nightmare#the art i made about the sleep paralysis disturbed my therapist but i thought it was rather mild in comparison to the actual hallucination#art therapy#sleep deprivation
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Step 1: wonder why the fuck the person who allegedly wants to buy your house isn't in a hurry to get the paperwork sorted
Step 2: wonder why the fuck the lender you're trying to buy a repo house off isn't in a hurry to get the paperwork sorted
Step 3: consider whether you can speed up one process or the other and remind yourself, yet again, that you can't!
Step 4: contemplate, with horror, what might happen if the lender DOES get back to you about your dream house before you have made any progress on selling your old house.
Step 5: drink too much coffee and search miserably to the verb in a 14-line sentence that seems to consist entirely of adjectives. You're tired and broke and you'll be tired and broken even if you get this work done.
Step 6: try not to think too hard about how you're living with your parents again in your mid-thirties and how it's all just so you can be down the road when mortality strikes. It's nice not having to do your own laundry, after all.
Step 7: wonder why you feel like bursting into tears whenever Midge Maisel does as you rewatch season 1. Remember when you first watched it? Just before you moved to the only place you managed to live in for longer than eighteen months since your childhood home. Wouldn't it be nice if you could buy the house you want and stay there for a little while? Oh no - don't start making plans! You can't make plans. No counting chickens before they've hatched.
Step 8: stare at the unread message notifications from six different direct messaging apps and wonder what on earth you have to say to anyone. There's no news!!! There's never any news!!! You're just here, going slowly mad while you wait.
Step 9: sleep TERRIBLY. Why was that? You normally have no trouble sleeping!
Step 10: good morning, let's do all that again shall we? Haha great.
Look at this little dude though! That's nice, isn't it?
#hahahaha i'm such a chilled out person i say!! i trust in things to resolve themselves and turn out ok!!!#i'm not a control freak!! i understand that other people have lives and things take time.#hahahaha. i'm gonna give myself an ulcer just you wait#irl shenanigans
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
woke up in the middle of the night feeling weird and flushed in the chest (back) again (but only on the left side this time?) and, combined with the fact that I was paranoid my heartbeat was going too fast all night when I was trying to fall asleep and now again upon waking up (tho I couldn't actually tell and this is something tbf I'm constantly concerned of and often like ends up being a cause of sleep anxiety/inability to get to sleep lol), it reminded me of that time I had that bad reaction to those anxiety meds last year and I can't decide if I'm just freaking myself out again or should actually be concerned???
#idk maybe i just slept funnily on my left side and had a weird dream and that woke me up feeling all heightened and anxious#i took my temperature to try and ''calm myself down'' and then it was LOW it was like 94.smth???#so i called up my parents (in the middle of the night. sry.) to try and calm me down and i thought it did help#but now that i'm off the phone i feel like i'm slightly shaky....#wish i had a pulse oximeter like them so i could tell if i'm being crazy and it's all just in my head or not#(hmmm think i'm gonna buy one for my own peace of mind when i'm having trouble getting to sleep bc i think my pulse is racing now)#is this a weird covid symptom? when i basically haven't even had any others since the first day my experience has been so mild???#or am i just insane hahahahaahahaha#sry to freak out and dump this shit at like 5am u guys can ignore this#sto parlando#poste personale
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay. god. turned poem in. going to kill myself a little maybe but fox transgenderism poem is officially submitted for my creative writing workshop
#I HATE OPEN FIELD POETRY A LITTLE BIT MAYBE#i have nothing against it actually it just freaks me out cause it makes me feel like i'm being tacky and everyone's gonna hate me#makes me feel like rupi kaur a little bit when i'm isolating words with white space. idk.#screaming and sobbing but it's gonna be what it's gonna be#and i'm gonna preface my reading of it saying that i struggled a little bit <3#and then the writing itself will still be good and people will be soooo impressed with how brave i was for submitting this#god. head in my hands. it's so late i'm not gonna get nearly enough sleep#AND THEN I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THURSDAY TO ACTUALLY READ IT. HELL IS REAL AND I'M IN IT#maybe i'll type up other little poem i wrote earlier and post it as a treat for myself 😭#valentine notes
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am good at stuff. I'm good at cooking. It may not be michelin star restaurant level food but it's good. I'm good at baking. I'm good at taking care of my family. I'm good at some computer stuff. I'm good at taking care of my cats. I'm good at making ppl laugh. I'm good at helping ppl. I've written stuff ppl have enjoyed.
#I'm having a very rough go of things rn. these last 2 weeks have just. absolutely nearly killed me.#I am trying. I am trying SO HARD. to come back to the surface and walk among the living again. so hard.#I'm gonna have enchiladas for dinner! I handled the shit storm dropped in my lap today! didn't cry abt it!#which honestly given my very thin mental line rn was surprising! but I kept it together! and handled it! and didn't freak out!#had some cherry cheesecake whipped yogurt I put in the feezer and it was SO YUMMY! and felix & santino liked it!#doing laundry! clean clothes! making food! we have food! it's gonna be ok!#gonna just. sedate myself tonight so I don't have a repeat of last night. and take it. one hour at a time now.#erin explains it all
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've decided I need to post at least some of my DC art backlog or I may actually explode and die
#ramblings of a lunatic#i have things I'm cooking#it's always weird when a new obsession takes me bc it usually is so intense that it blocks out any ability to think/talk abt-#-whatever it is I've been posting about for the past year or two#and I'm always afraid that I'm like. alienating anyone who views my blog on a regular basis#which is stupid! i know that this is my house and I can post whatever i want!#it just feels odd#especially bc enjoying comics isn't like enjoying other stuff for me. it's complicated#GAH anyway. I'm currently following along with bop + batman and robin rn (+semi following the flash??? a lil???)#(I'm one of the sickos who's actually looking forward to beast world exclusively bc of the tie-ins (like the flash). i know I'm a freak)#but like. that's two monthly series. i have to sustain myself with day dreams#and then i don't know how to externalise the daydreams. also i feel like i know too much abt canon to exist soley in the like.#the corner of the fandom that's just an echo of the source material (which is valid imo as a separate off-shoot of fandom)#but also i always feel like i don't know Enough (nor do i have enough bitterness in my soul) to occupy the mainstream more hardline-#-comic fan spaces that adhere much more closely to canon#ergo i never know like. who I'm making a post for in that sense bc I'm not sure i could slot comfortably into either camp yknow?#i should value my own opinions and interests enough to just vote for myself. and yet#and yet...#anyway. it's probably gonna be the usual slew of redesigns and doodles of C...nay Z-listers that i care about#if it does happen. which like i said. if it doesn't. i esplode
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
solitearedtori
lex
memessbdeato
"Matemos nuestros miedos "
myverybestofmen
NSFW 18+ Only
premierweird
We post memes here
updatedfutbol-blog
Updated Futbol