#I'm in such a phase where I question everything that I even doubt something so announced | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alarrytale · 8 months

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I think that along with L*ewe, which they've both been wearing a lot, and L*me and other stuff they're promoting, that the stunt is in part to undo the damage O*ivia did to Harry's image. They couldn't do another PR relationship like Holivia because people would turn against Harry completely as he's so overexposed so they had no choice but to make this one low key and unproblematic. They want people to be invested in it, and many are but there's many ignoring it too. It has definitely helped his image with some of the gp, who think the 'relationship' is cute. But I'm angry at him and his team. He made that romantic quote at his show, supposedly giving advice to a fan but no doubt the whole exchange was orchestrated, and it turned out it was something T*ylor also said and it was used to sell their relationship, they used the exact same tactic with Holivia. I ignored it with Holivia because that whole stunt was weird but when they used that tactic again it really made me question how genuine Harry's shows are. Even that 'daddy' exchange at his show it turned out that the guy works for Pleasing. That was a set up. Lol. How are we supposed to believe anything he says when it's used to sell stunts, and even his shows aren't safe from them. I also stupidly thought that he might CO or stop stunting after the queerbaiting backlash. I thought that the backlash was too much for HSHQ to ignore, it was all over the media and social media. Then he literally went into another pr relationship after. They learned nothing, except to make this pr relationship more low key. I hate this need for him to always be publicly in a relationship or if he isn't then he's linked to a different model every week. His success is so manufactured, he has got to where he is by connections only. He hasn't earned his position. He is a very talented musician but they don't lean into his talent to sell him, it's completely overshadowed by his PR stunts. They could have done so much else with him.

Hi, anon!

I still don't understand how a pr/bearding relationship is going to rehab the damage of another pr/bearding relationship. The only thing holivia did was make people sick and tired of his pr relationships. We are stunt fatigued. This is yet another one, but with added shit aka poorly disguised repetitive brand promo. The obvious brand promo is actually making the whole thing look more fake. I see more and more people calling H out on his bs.

Yes, they use the same tricks every stunt. They start seeding a relationship with small things like that, that makes sense in hindsight. And yes, so much H does that seems organic is preplanned, set up or contrived. Even at his shows. We see less and less of the real Harry. Everything he does or shows us is controlled and is connected to an agenda. Things that might seem innocent on surface level always seems to be tied to a stunt or commercial gain. He's a walking billboard, always selling us something. We don’t get any fan service to make up for it either anymore, that's were the issue lies. There is nothing good to make up for the bad (or the things we tolerate for his sake).

I do wish they'd have more faith in him as a talented artist. I wish he had more faith in himself too. I think everyone makes more money this way, but i don't understand how he's not embarrased and ashamed. He does look annoyed and pissed off in all the photos from the last month. Is a cranky H good promo for the citrus fruit brand or the german lion brand? Is the fandom making fun of it's ridiculousness good promo? I think we're all counting the days until this phase is over. He doesn’t need to stunt like this to rehab his image after O. As you say, there's loads of other things he could do that give him pr that everyone would love, including him.

#hussell for ts #stunting #holivia for ts #harry image

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whencallstheheart · 8 months

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My 10 x 11 opinons/thoughts:

If Elizabeth didn't follow her heart, then she would be living a lie. She admitted to Lucas that he was the safe option, and he didn't have her whole heart. Lucas even said he knew something wasn't right.

Lack of communication was a key factor. They seemed to be in the honeymoon phase all S9 never disagreeing with each other. But, in S10 they were brought back to reality.

Some of the deep conversations Elizabeth had with other people, should've actually been with Lucas. She didn't even feel comfortable discussing her dead husband with him. They wanted different things out of life, but instead of making time/effort to talk they drifted apart. If they married, eventually they would end up hating each other. Sad but true.

As a Nathan fan, I hope a Nathan/Elizabeth romance is thoughtfully planned out. Not too fast, but not too slow. Elizabeth just can't jump from Lucas to Nathan.

She just faced her fears and realized her heart belongs with Nathan. She needs time to process everything.

There is not only Nathan to consider, but they both have children. I got a feeling Allie is going to be protective of her father, after the heartbreak they felt from Elizabeth's rejection in S8.

That horrible 'I only saw Jack in you' line needs to be addressed/redeemed. Nathan will need to know without a doubt that Elizabeth is seeing him, and not Jack. He is guarded, and she will need patience while breaking those walls around his heart down.

They already built a strong friendship. The foundation for every great romance. Their chemistry is amazing!

I hope Team Nathan gets the love story we have been waiting for.

One more thing, the scenes with Henry babysitting Goldie were so sweet!

I totally agree. Everything was great for Elizabeth and Lucas until they actually had to talk about things that mattered... which they never really did. Trying not to think about your problems doesn't make them go away. I'm so glad all of that was said in the episode so there's no mistaking where both of the characters stand. They're done and it's okay. They have different destinies. It seems like Lucas might actually get a great storyline out of this that he never could've had if he was with Elizabeth.

I would love to see Allie be protective. Obviously she loves Elizabeth and Jack but I hope she questions her intentions now. I hope they wait a little before anything major happens with them. Like of course I'd love to see them kiss but it needs to be right.

I really think that line was a lie and an easy out for Elizabeth in the moment. Just like her saying she was getting on the train with Lucas when she knew she didn't want that at all. It was something to say to Nathan to get him to back off so she could protect herself from her true feelings. Hopefully she's able to voice that to him and not continue to be so scared.

I'm so excited for what's to come. Lindsay said in the interview that they'd basically planned out season 11 before working on season 10 which is interesting. There's still so many stories to tell and backstories to dive into. It just feels great to be genuinely excited about the show again.

The Henry/Goldie scene was the most precious thing ever! Making gifs of it very soon.

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seafoamchild · 7 months

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november 2nd

went to hulaween and it was an absolute blast. i had so much fun with my friends. we saw so much music and did so many drugs. we laughed and laughed. i felt happy and included the whole time.

now i'm back home and it's already snowed and there's a chill in the air. cue six months of winter. here we go. i want to be somewhere else, somewhere different, somewhere i can start a new chapter. i've spent the past few years really working on myself, and it has been hard. i've worked on being kind to myself, not taking everything personally, being generous, communicating my wants and needs, and thinking about what i even want in the first place.

i've reflected on growing up in a place where a specific type of achievement was glorified. getting straight As. getting into college. graduating on time. getting a "real job". my parents wanted all of that for me and i always felt obligated to please them, as they were supporting me financially. i never got a real job and it freaked them out. they kept pushing and pushing, devaluing the serving jobs i had because they weren't "real jobs". asking me, "you're not planning on being a server forever, are you?" as if the very idea were horrifying to behold. constantly making suggestions about who i should network with, trying to get me to talk to people with "real jobs" so they could inspire me to also get a "real job", waiting for me to get all the traveling out of my system so i could come to my senses and settle down. it was so exhausting, constantly receiving the message that i wasn't "doing it right", that i was making frivolous decisions and i needed to buckle down and get career-oriented.

i've come to realize that my parents really did not understand me. and it wasn't just like, me going through a rebellious phase, it was that my values and my parents' values were different - are different - and they tried to push me into being something i was not. i've never doubted that they love me and just wanted me to be happy, but they had no idea what that looked like for me. everyone in my immediate family - my parents, my brother - they've all led pretty conventional lives. they followed the rules, they got the career, they got the house.

then there was me, who traveled everywhere, worked odd jobs, saw psychiatrists, dated questionable people, went to music festivals, lived in rundown rentals, experimented with drugs they'd never even heard of. to them it was so worrying that i wasn't following a conventional path. they have tried so so so hard to "help" steer me in the right direction, but all it really ever did was compound my anxiety about feeling unmoored. i've spent so many years feeling like i'm doing it all wrong, that i should be striving for a stable career, that a serving job is a shameful thing to do for a living unless you're in college, that i need to turn my passions into profits, that i'm so smart and talented but i'm wasting it all away by "just being a server".

all this worrying has never done me an ounce of good. so, so, so much worrying, imparted upon me by my incredibly anxious and high-strung parents for years and years. despite the gnawing guilt and shame i felt, i kept doing the things i wanted to do. but i went through various states of mental deterioration during it all, and it was always some kind of identity crisis, like who am i and how did i get here and what the fuck am i doing???

lately i have been feeling more assured of who i am. i'm funny and kind and smart. i have created a rich life for myself, full of experiences and friends. i still want to find a job that excites me. i still want to fall in love with someone who adores me and respects me. i want to move to a new city. leave the midwest. find new opportunities. it will be really scary, leaving behind my community. but i know it's time. i finally feel confident enough to do it for real.

#journal

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apricusnights · 10 months

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Stories from the past #2.

Time: Several years ago.

Location: Hidden research facility beneath Solis Heights.

"Begin playback, I want to hear everything again." The monitors around him beginning to play audio that he'd painstakingly cleaned up. In front of him were several large containers, still frozen...

Time: Nearing the end of the Great War. "Might Of The Empire" project is in full effect.

Location: Laboratory Alpha, underneath the Royal Palace.

"This is the personal log of Doctor Birchport, I'll be attempting to record both our successes and possible failures for the next few candidates."

"We've had our fair share of both. I suppose that's what happens when the Empire is constantly breathing down your neck. Our work force was partially split, some of the others got sent off to Project Chimera, the rest of us aren't even sure what that is."

"The next volunteer we're working with is a young woman. We've had some luck with a few female volunteers up until this point so I'm hoping this one has what it takes to survive all of the enhancements."

"Volunteer is in extremely good physical condition. She also seems to be quite intelligent. I do question if she's as loyal to the Empire as some of the previous subjects but she seems loyal enough and to be honest..we're not that picky anymore."

"We presented the usual paperwork for her to sign. The same offer we make to every volunteer was made to her. It's extremely possible that she may not survive the procedures. If she does, her body will be irreversibly changed."

"Volunteer agreed to have some assets preserved. After that was taken care of we began the training programs. Physical, and mental training are rigorous, sometimes they even prove to be fatal for those who aren't strong willed."

"It's never pleasant watching what the volunteers go through. Some of these training phases would completely break a normal person. We've learned by now not to refer to them by names. Knowing what will likely occur makes it necessary to avoid any sort of attachment."

"Current volunteer has survived the training and will move on to the next step. This marks the beginning of physical enhancement. Again sometimes it's hard to know exactly what kind of suffering you're putting someone through but it's all for the good of the empire."

"Volunteer has once again proved her superiority over others and survived the enhancement phase. There was an instant where we wondered though. Volunteer exhibits a small bit of memory loss, not completely uncommon due to the nature of the procedures but something we will need to monitor."

"Volunteer has been given her armor, and chosen her weapons. Her next few phases of training will involve being able to properly handle her new equipment. On a side note, she's the first one to receive some slightly upgraded equipment. The armor is just as sturdy but was streamlined slightly to allow quicker movements."

"I hear she's being assigned to the "Sisters". From our understanding it's an all female group. Strangely, she asked about the assets we offered to preserve for her. I admit when I told her the whereabouts were currently unknown she seemed..well not entirely pleased. I am however being honest when I say it was out of our hands."

"It's been several weeks now. Several other volunteers have come and gone. I hear it's possible we may be shut down. If you ask me, the Emperor is panicking and wishing to fast track the Chimera project."

"Some of the previous successes have gone rogue. Some have completely abandoned the Empire. I have a theory that even the strongest mental conditioning may not have been enough to completely re-write someone. If their will was strong enough, perhaps being out in the battlefield caused them to see what they were told to do was wrong."

"Sometimes I question if it's wrong. I doubt there is really much if any forgiveness for me when this is all over. The Emperor's sanity has deteriorated and some of the actions he's taken have been horrific to say the least."

Doctor Birchport's final search was recorded.

Subject Codename: Summer Status: Unknown

#story scene #flashback quote #Janus Windsor

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alexsiple · 2 years

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Hey, just wanted to say that I read your essay and it really resonated with me. I'm a bit younger than you, only 19 but I already go around with all those doubts. I just feel lost in life, don't know what to do. I create a lot of art in different mediums, I always loved to write. For the longest time I promised myself I would become a published author. Now, I think I would like to have my works up as free, so anyone can read them. Still, I don't do much to accomplish this dream. I always tell myself there's time yet it feels like it's slipping through my fingers. It's hard watching people my age, sometimes younger be so successful in life. I also see all the people that started their careers at a later time, it doesn't do much to help. I often question the point of everything. What's the point of the degree in getting, it's not going to give me a job. I wonder what's the point of all the hours I spent drawing, writing, these works aren't really going to give me much in life, they are always just going to stay with me. That should be enough. It doesn't feel like it's enough.

Sorry for rambling. Anyway to end this on a happier note, I recently watched everything everywhere all at once. It helped me calm down. I do really wonder about the points of thing, about failure. In fact, I have a crippling fear of failure, that's why I never start anything new. And yeah, after watching the movie I think maybe the point is that there is no point. We are meant to keep going and just appreciate the small things, the big things.

ah, dear anon, thank you for writing this all out to me and thank you for reading my essay with such an open heart. i am so glad it reached you somehow. i'll put my thoughts below this line just so i don't clog people's dashboards LMFAO

first of all, it's okay to feel lost! and please know that being nineteen (in my experience and observation) is super hard for most people. especially for artists. this is a time where you're supposed to - by society's standards - be moving to an "adult phase" where you have everything figured out, and at this point i believe that a lot of being an artist means a constant stage of figuring things out. but you are also incredibly young, like, me too, lol. it's okay at any point in life to not have achieved everything that everyone your age seems to have. it's hard to feel like it's real but many people who are much older than you are in that same state of feeling lost and like they've wasted everything. you mention that seeing these stories of these people does not really help- i totally understand. more than you know. it's hard to give yourself kindness in these circumstances.

honestly, you do still have time. to write and to create and to live a full life. i obviously am going through a lot of the same things myself and don't have the clearest answers, so take it all with a grain of salt, but i'll offer you my perspective: i think that if you love to write, you should. write what you love and what gets you excited to live. for me, art and writing are things that make life worth it. everything i've made is accessible online to pretty much anyone because the act of giving the world art is something precious to me that makes me happy. this is not true for everyone! but i think that if you find a way of making art that makes you happy, you should keep at it. your way of writing - even if you feel you're not doing enough - is valid and you're still making something, aren't you?

i think also it helps to find something you love in life outside of making art so that when you take a break from creating for whatever reason, you don't feel like a failure, like you're not doing enough, etc. that's helped me. it may sound simple but honestly having goals to have friendships, to travel, to learn languages, etc. has helped me shift my focus from only being on art and how my art makes me worthy. if you find purpose in other things then obviously you will not believe your only purpose is to make art.

on getting a degree: obviously i don't have a writing degree but i've always wondered if i should go for one. if it's anything like art school degrees i'll tell you that you should only go if you feel as if your soul will gain something from it. do you like learning? do you want to travel somewhere else and meet new people? does school feel valuable to you? these are only things that you can answer for yourself, i've found. you are an artist, someone who writes, and so you probably realize that you can live your life in a way that is unpredictable, or unprecedented, or that deviates from the norm. you don't necessarily have to get a degree. but does it excite you? do you think it'll lead you down a new path in life? with animation, i partly went to get my degree because it would get me a job (in theory) and partly because i felt this experience was important for my path in life. can you find that in something else that isn't a degree? of course. it's up to you. i truly think that whatever you choose will lead you somewhere new and grow you as a person, especially if you go into these choices with an open heart and excitement for experience.

you are not rambling! i enjoy this sort of ask and conversation LOL. this answer is messy and may not help you. hopefully it gives you some nugget of insight. i can only offer my own experience but i also mean it when i say that you obviously care about writing and art or you wouldn't be thinking about it. i don't think you should give up on what you love. from time to time at least, tap into that feeling of love and dedication and ignore the background noise for a while. just make things you love. the other stuff comes later, even though it seems like the most important. i've posted stuff that has been seen by no one, or only one person. in the end the only thing that was important in those cases was that i was proud of that work, that it felt meaningful to me.

everything everywhere all at once is PEAK cinema. it really is so healing lmfao i'm glad you liked it. you say you have a huge fear of failure but again, this is because you care so much. you seem pretty strong and passionate! your last line on the meaning of the movie is so true. there kind of is no answer. living is hard to parse out. be kind to yourself and find fulfillment and joy whenever and wherever you can! i know you can do this! follow your curiosity, dude. do what feels right. the only person who can judge your failures is yourself. that is your greatest power.

#sending you love! creativity! and the ability to rest and take care of yourself!#anonymous #ask

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mcrmadness · 1 year

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Having again one one those art doubt nights. Or actually it's about fanfiction this time. It's pretty common for me to have these nights once in a while where I just have an exitential crisis over my fanfics.

Right now it's just that basic: why the fuck do I even keep writing? Like, I don't get it why do I write. Nor why do I keep coming up with stuff to write so often. It's just... not that much fun. Overused "tropes" and generally speaking, there is nothing wrong in that, BUT personally I am just so fed up with my tropes. They are boring, they are cliché, they just don't feel like anything anymore.

And again: why do I keep writing? Angst I understand. It's like self-therapy. Fluff I don't understand anymore. It's the one that has gotten boring to me. There's nothing to see. I would be writing to others if I didn't hate the fact I'm behind that text. I would be writing to others also if people read my texts. But there is something wrong with me, something that is actually not wrong with me, but something that causes people to avoid my fanfics because we're not on the same wavelength.

I probably won't do it, but I'm again considering giving up on writing fanfiction altogether. There's just no point in that. I wish I could write something else than fanfiction, but I can only write angst or fluff, and I'm romance-repulsed unless it's about my OTP, and nothing else interests me enough that I could write about it. I've been trying to come up with ideas but everything is already used and I'm afraid I'd be accused of plagiarism over something I have never even heard of before, just because how difficult it is to come up with something original and actually unique anymore.

Well, I won't get answers to my questions today for sure so I guess I might as well go to sleep. Just gonna say that writing to yourself is fun until you start to bore yourself with your own texts. And writing to others is fun if people just would read. So, yeah, I don't know. Maybe I will have another "I grew out of fanfiction" phase, maybe I'll come back to it again, maybe I'll never touch fanfics again. Who knows. All I know is that I don't enjoy the writing process as much as I enjoy the process of creating other types of arts, such as drawing or videos. With these I don't really even care anymore whether people look at/watch them or not. Those are for me and the whole process from start to finish is fun. Fanfics are just. A way to help myself to fall asleep because I need to be thinking about something and I have nothing else to think about than my OTPs. But maybe I'll need to keep those as before-falling-asleep scenarios and forget about the writing them down part.

I don't know. I also don't like the idea of letting go of my fanfics. It's not good for my mental health. But right now I just don't see any point in collecting tons of short scenarios about my OTP into my files if those texts are never gonna see a daylight anyway.

#mcrmadness' deep thoughts

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cathriana · 7 months

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So, after much consideration, I decided to give a shot at Nanowrimo this year, except I'm not.

Basically, since I'm still in the worldbuilding phase, the amount of work I pour into my project doesn't necessarily translate into words, so it's not going to be the 50 000 words mark that is going to be my mark. The aim this month is to complete this map :

This is the map of the Empire, which you may not have seen me talk about in the past. This is where the main story takes place and I've overalled part of its geography and most importantly, switched to a better PC that can handle a map 10 times bigger and more precise than what I was working with before.

Problem is, that change of scale pretty much fucked up what I had done with the previous one, so I have to start back from the beginning, with the placement of the cities, the delimitations between duchies, as well as some cultural overall since some climates got completely changed. Thus, my goal for that month, is to get get back remake everything that was lost, and more : by the end of this month, I hope to have :

placed every cities and keeps of importance (about 300 in the previous version and I expect many more in this new one thanks to the added detail)

Named each of those cities, accordingly with the local language, which I have yet to really work on outside of their "vibe" (7 non-english languages, but luckily inventing toponymy isn't too hard)

Established a quick lore for each location, with more lore the bigger the location gets : who built it, when, why, what's its current importance, quick description, maybe even a little sketch if it's really important (that is, if I can draw something decent and I can't draw for shit) or at least pictural references (that's why you can see me reblog things with "something-something reference".)

Same thing for the duchies : delimitate 'em, name 'em, determine who rules and/or ruled 'em etc... (about 200 in the previous version, luckily this number shouldn't move too much in the rework)

If by the end of this month I manage to do all that, I'll call that a resounding success, though I do doubt I can pull it off in one month, I doubt a year would even suffice, but who cares, defenitly not me : the objective of the Nanowrimo is to get shit done.

So prepare youself for a heap of random screenshots and detailed histories of a 2000 soul fishing town that has 0 plot relevance and hails from a world you know nothing of, because I count on posting everything I do here : time to finally turn this writing blog into a blog that's actually about writing. If at any point you have questions, curiosities or whatever, don't hesitate, and if to the contrary I'm clogging your dash with those, feel free to block #cat writes.

Wish me luck, and good wishes to anyone who does Nanowrimo as well !

#nanowrimo #nano 2023 #cat writes #writing #worldbuilding #nanowrimo 2023

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filosofskaya · 1 year

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Character questions.

((These are a bunch of questions I snatched from this site. Though I'd love to RP as Yana someday, I want to explore her character more!))

You’re at a bar when the one person you don’t want to see walks in. Who are they? How do you react? I make note of them but ignore them.

How would you react if you were catcalled? I would pause for a moment, before turning around and flashing a smile. It won't be a nice one - I'll be glowering at them. I tend to intimidate people, so it should serve as warning enough.

How would you react if you saw a friend who owes you money spending frivolously? I would approach them and ask when they intend to pay me back. I do not take kindly to being taken advantage of, however, I would like to give them the benefit of the doubt unless they had pushed for it. (Why would you be desperate for money, then spend it like nothing?) Depending on what they say, I might take their word for it if they had simply forgotten, but if it's a recent loan or I can tell they're lying, I won't be offering any more money or time to them.

Your friends are speaking unfairly about a mutual friend. Do you speak up? I wouldn't be happy hearing it, but I don't know what happened between them. I'd likely keep it to myself, but if what they were saying ran past the line of fairness, then I may speak up.

How would you react if you witnessed a victimless crime? It doesn't phase me. As long as no one is harmed, why should it?

What would you do if someone brought up your biggest insecurity in front of a crowd of strangers? I'd keep an expressionless gaze while trying to quell my feelings of shock and embarassment. I would then downplay it, or perhaps not say anything at all, hoping we move on to another topic.

How would you respond to an apology from somebody you still can’t forgive? I look past many things. A lot does not get to me or phase me, and often, I am able to put things past me even if harm comes to my person. I know it often isn't personal. However, what can't I forgive? What is personal enough that I can't look past it? .. … Harm to my loved ones. The harm that was wrought upon me and my family from back then. Harm that falls upon children and innocent ones. Harm that I cannot forgive in the stead of others. Harm that is meant personally and continually to me.

How would you break up with someone? I've never been in a relationship. Still, it hurts to think about parting. I don't think I would want to. But if we fell out of love, it's inevitable, isn't it? We couldn't hold on anymore. I personally struggle to confront emotional topics... if I really loved this person, I would like to think I would tell them but if the cirumstances were harder than that, I think I might just fade out instead.

If you won the lottery, how would it change your life? I suppose I wouldn't need to work anymore. I could leave everything behind and relocate elsewhere, chase a far tamer lifestyle. Perhaps I could take something up in the culinary world.

Would you trade ten years of your life to be richer? Hm. My life may already be cut short given my profession, but I suppose if I had money, I would not be limited to such a lifestyle. Then again, I am still bound to an organization… I might not be able to completely cut myself from it, i.e., I'd likely be sought out again, whether for service or elimination.

How about to be more beautiful? Could I get any better-looking than this?

More intelligent? Respectfully, I don't possess the title I do without reason.

What do you think about in the shower? I prefer using it to simply relax or focus on getting clean.

Do you stay up late or wake up early? I often wake up early, but how late I'm up often depends on where I am and what I'm doing.

What do you do if you can’t sleep? I read, browse the net, or work out.

Who or what do you turn to when you’re upset? I don't have anyone like that. Though, I suppose that's not exactly true - not at the moment, at least. Where I am currently is an old…friend of mine, someone whom I've gone to many times when I was much younger. And I suppose I have another old friend, too.

Are you more of a text person or a phone call person? Why? I don't mind texting, but I prefer phone-calls and in-person meets unless I am close with this person.

What does your morning routine look like? I wake up, dress myself, make the bed, make something to eat, clean up after myself, and then leave for the day. If I have some leisure time, I may sit and read or bake.

What’s the weirdest job you would be willing to do? ...laundry? ((off the top of her head, since she's also done menial type errands for others (on her paycheck), though laundry might feel weird since it's so personal and odd considering she's well…an assassin))

What’s a job you would never consider, no matter how good the pay? Prostitution. I don't want to have sex with someone I'm not attracted to.

How do you feel in large groups versus small ones? Admittedly, I prefer smaller gatherings. It's easier to keep track of the conversation and add to it. I also find it more comfortable when the people attending are those familiar to me.

Who was the last person you obsessively stalked on social media? I don't use social media.

What was the last book you read? Did you like it? Why or why not? ((She'd tell you, but I personally don't know what book to pick since I don't read them often myself))

#ic.#info.#hc.#character questions

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placesthatchangedpeople · 1 year

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Molly A. at Sedona Sky Academy

I was only at SSA for 2 months & sometimes I question if it was even real. It feels like a fever dream. I went there in 2014 willingly after making poor decisions at my high school. Some of my memories there are truly great. I liked the structure, the girls were all pretty cool, and getting to ride every day was a big plus. I still don't know quite how I feel about my SSA therapist, Juniper. Juniper was a hard ass & worked at another office so she wasn't the easiest to open up to & relate with. She is no doubt a great therapist, but I think that they should be matching therapists & students with more consideration. I'm giving this 2 stars for a couple reasons. First, like others have said, you aren't able to contact your parents alone & when you do contact them everything is monitored. In phase one of the program you aren't even allowed to email your parents yet if I remember correctly. They can email you but not you them. They give the girls printed emails to them each night. We were allowed to type up emails after phase 2 but they were all read by staff before being sent. Though I didn't experience any abuse I have no doubt that others did & it pains me to think how hopeless they must have felt having no access to get help. The food here was terrible quality. The staff is up your ass but it's easy to get around. I got a prison tattoo on my ankle when I was in there & only got caught bc I felt guilty & turned myself in. There was also a big issue with what was called "war storying" where some of the more troubled girls would brag about their past & all these illegal & immoral things they would do. This place has the potential to be great but idk where all the money for tuition goes... it's definitely not worth the thousands of dollars of month that it was. When my mom came up for her first visit we had a great visit & as she was going to leave I started crying & we talked about everything & she agreed the best decision was to take me home. She threw all of my stuff into the back of her rental car & we never looked back. The school & my dad tried to convince her to bring me back but she said something in her gut was telling her not to leave me there. I sometimes wonder what kind of person I would be now if I had finished the whole program. To this day I still have dreams about the place & usually they aren't the most pleasant. I would love to connect with any old SSA "survivors" who are willing. As I'm sure those of you who are can understand, it's really hard to completely identify how to describe the experience to other people & it would be nice to talk with someone who knows. You can find me on Facebook, Molly Albright :)

#Sedona Sky Academy #Arizona

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beforethesunsetsinthesky · 2 years

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You were made to be you.

The reason Even Ducks Get Liver Cancer is so much more than just a book written by a consultant in the institution where I will be training came to me today. Why was reading about the misadventures of a doctor so comforting and entertaining at the same time? Was it simply because it was written in a clever and medical noir kind of way? Maybe.

But also because it reminded me of something I kept forgetting. In times of uncertainty, upheavals and chaos, writing was one of the things that kept me grounded. Writing redirects my chaotic, high-functioning anxiety-driven mind to a high road leading to inner peace. My own words may be meaningless on their own when they're just inside my head but when they're here, on this blank sheet of paper, in a blog I mostly read myself, it's like a declaration. A proof of some sort. Here lies Hazel's anxieties and doubts. Here lies Hazel's promises to herself. Here lies Hazel's...lies.

But I won't lie. There was a person inside my head I tried to say good-bye to years ago. She was crazy, ambitious and driven. Before I even knew Imposter Syndrome was a thing, she was already telling me I'm a fake. Before anyone can even say any form of constructive criticism, she was already ahead of them, with harsher, more unforgiving lines.

And I hated her. I told God I wanted to let go of her. She amplified my anxiety, made use of my insecurities and built some kind of image I can't even keep up with. It was a never ending cycle of self-destruction. And somehow, I feel like that person is coming back to life. Like she's saying, hey, it's me--I'm the problem, I know--but I'm also the solution. Somehow she's saying I would need her in the next few chapters of my life.

This realization reminds me of my friend's conclusion to my self-deprecation. There was a phase in med school where I did nothing but put myself down, question everything I have accomplished and doubt every single thing I did. I had a list of everything I hated about myself, about my personality, about my tendencies and preferences. I wasn't sure if my friend truly understood the depth of my frustrations with myself until my 22nd birthday. They surprised me with a cake that didn't say happy birthday, Hazel. It was a chocolate cake with icing that spells "You were made to be you". I remember reading that line out loud then seeing my friend's understanding face. I wanted to burst into tears.

So, no.

I don't need her. I don't need that voice in my head to come back in my life. I'll just run back to this blinking line on a blog and...write.

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corvidaecircus · 2 years

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Soo, given that Pride Month started recently ive noticed that some of the people around me- specifically friends at school- have been having doubts about who they really are , questioning their identities, and feeling doubtful if their feelings are even remotely real. And to those individual, I have to say:

It's okay.

When you think of gender identification and orientations, I want you to think of three birds, flying in the air. The first bird perches in a tree, builds it's nest, and makes that tree it's forever home. It is content and happy with the life it chose for itself.

The second bird finds two different trees, and it builds a nest on each one. Sometimes, it's happy with the first tree, and other times, it switches back to the second tree, and stays there for a while. Its always fluctuating between trees, but it's happy that way.

And then, there's the third bird. It's always flying, looking out at the trees and unable to find a suitable one to build a nest. It lands sometimes, but finds itself unsatisfied and takes off again. But eventually, the bird will find a tree, or two, or three, that it likes, and it will finally make it's homes there. You're that third uncertain bird.

Gender and sexuality are fluid and always moving, like the birds. Making a decision does not have to be final, but It can be for some. Sometimes, you may think you know what you want, but then you find something new, something you align with more, and you change. Sometimes, you may find yourself fluctuating between several different labels. And that's okay. As long as you are happy. And then, there are times where you find yourself settling on that one label for a long time. A label you know for a fact that you're going to keep. And that's also okay. Be proud and confident in yourself and your identity, it'll help your mental health in the long run. And even yet, you might not even know. You might juggle around with labels, but don't find one that resonates with you. You're filled with self doubt and internal prejudice, wondering if you're "faking" or if it's "just a phase". And that's okay too.

You haven't settled on any labels yet; and you've got hundreds to explore and delve into and decide where you fit in among the crowd. Or you could even go for a simple umbrella term, if everything else is too overwhelming. But don't doubt yourself, don't feel ashamed, don't think of yourself so lowly. You're so much more than you think you are; you just have to figure that out for yourself.

When I was younger, I delt with a lot of internalized transphobia. I thought I was just s a tomboy, or that I was just "looking for attention". I thought I was delusional. I thought I was disgusting, and a lot of other unpleasant things. But the older I got, the more I learned to come to terms with an acceptable my identity, accept who I was. And most of all, I learned to love myself. It wasn't easy, it took a lot of self realization (and therapy-it helps, trust me) for me to learn to love myself. And, of course, I met someone that helped me learn how to love in general, something I never thought I'd be able to do again. But I'm rambling, don't mind me.

The point is, Pride is not just about celebrating who you are, but exploring who you are, and being unapologetically uncertain about yourself. Uncertainty isn't bad, but take it in stride. Understand that you, and ONLY you, have control over who you are. Get out there and explore, and eventually, you'll find yourself; just like I did.

(Yes, most of this is directed towards you @mlulrum4 )

#i dont know exactly how you feel #but you seem to have a lot of doubt about yourself; and i think it's been negatively affecting you #all i can do is give you a few words of wisdom and love; but you already knew that <3 #im here for you- please dont forget that #pride 2022 #pride #lgbtqia

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100hearteyes · 2 years

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So many questions after the finale. Here are my thoughts on The Wilds season 2, for whomever feels like wasting their time reading them.

Is the phase 3 control group the girls AND the boys together? I feel like this is as far as the show can go. I would very much like it if it ended in season 3, or if the experiment itself ended in season 3 and season 4 dealt with the consequences as the final season.

The camera cut to Shelby when Gretchen said she had someone on the inside. Do we think Shelby is the new mole? The opening scene of the finale seems to imply that. On the one hand I don't think she would risk worsening for good her relationship with Toni; on the other hand, I could see her making a deal with Gretchen to keep Toni and Martha safe (she knows they're a package deal and Toni wouldn't really be okay if Martha didn't make it out okay too).

Shelby and Toni. Oh, my heart 💔 I hate how everything made sense so I can't even complain about bad writing 🙈 Shelby found happiness in the island, away from a world that hates her. Toni understood her hesitation, and she knows it wouldn't have made a difference anyway, but the moment Martha went catatonic it's evident she wouldn't be able to think about that incident rationally anymore. And I really like how honest she was about it – and how Shelby figured it out so quickly. I have hope that with Martha's recovery they can move forward, but fuckkk it was hard to watch.

Oh and also Shoni had the most beautiful shots. And that sex scene was beautiful 🥲 the cinematographers love them.

Shelby. What a wonderful, complex character (all the girls are). All her decisions and characterization are so, so coherent. We knew where she would end up, but it was still fascinating to watch. Her journey is perhaps the most straightforward, but that doesn't make it any less impactful and authentic. I just really can't wait to see where they take her character next.

Toni. It's funny that she's maybe the character who started season 1 at the lowest, but season 2 is actually where we saw her at her worst. Her verbal lashings (which happened TWICE this season) are vicious. Erana is a great actress (again - all the girls are) and you can physically see all the pain and anger at the world boiling and spilling over, and how she doesn't really mean the things she says but it's the only way she knows of processing her white hot emotions. It says a lot that the only one she didn't verbally attack in the finale was the one she was actually resentful of. Such good writing - like I said, the show shines when it's writing for the girls. And with Toni, you could see her calm and steadiness were bound to break eventually, and it happened in spectacular, heartbreaking fashion.

Which leads me to Martha. It was clear from season 1 that something would happen to her. I'm glad they didn't take the easy route and kill her; this was much more interesting and it means we can keep having her in our lives ❤️ her struggle is so real and I really admire how kind she manages to be despite all that's happened to her. But I also know much she struggles to remain kind and loving and herself, and how the island tested her. Yet she fights for it. It's a stark contrast with mfing Seth.

How... How did Kirin end up being my favorite male character? There were three boys I hated as soon as I laid eyes on them: Raf, Seth, and Kirin. First two creeped the bejeezus out of me from day one and my suspicions were confirmed. Kirin, however – I never expected him to believe Jonathan so fast and stalwartly. He was, along with Ivan and Bo, the only one who NEVER doubted the victim. No surprise Kirin, Ivan, and Bo are my favorites. Also really like Henry. I feel for Jonathan and what he went through so much, but can't really like the character. Scotty is... I kinda like him, but also not?

The writing for the boys improved a lot as the season progressed (they were empty stereotypes in the beginning), but I still think the show is at its best with the girls.

Nora being alive was expected from the moment they showed that DJ had survived. Jeanette was the only actual death because it was a terrible accident and it happened before they even arrived in the island. Fuck, I can't even imagine how Rachel will react when she finds out Nora is alive...

Speaking of Rachel, her character really bloomed in this season. I love how she started out as the hopeless character and in the end she was the one giving everyone hope. It was such an interesting and well written journey, with highs and lows, progress and relapses. It wasn't straightforward, which made it more real.

Dot's breakdown was painful to watch, but a long time coming. I really like how they had her trickle down towards that as the season went, wearing her down with each setback, under the too-heavy weight of expectation of others and herself. And my baby is so strong and empathetic; she made Toni feel better, helped Martha several times, held the fort when no one else could. I really want to give her a big, bone-crushing hug.

Fatin is the real MVP, always has been, and always will be. I ship Shoni and adore both of my girls, but my favorite character is actually Fatin, because how can she possibly Not be everyone's favorite character. She figured the Nora thing out, was psyched to tell Leah she was right all along, told the right person - the person who would be most useful, Shelby - first, was the group mom, always tried to keep the group's spirits up. Her development, although subtler than the others', has been beautiful to watch, and props to Sophia Ali, because she's been on fire throughout both seasons. She's such a joy to watch.

And how can I not talk about Fatin and Leah. I mean... I'm still in that wonderful limbo between shipping it and not, but FUCK they make it hard not to. Sophia and Sarah have really, really great chemistry, regardless of connotation – friendship, romance, even rivalry/animosity at times. They're magnetic on their own and fucking explosive when they're together on screen. And also! Leah confirmed bi/pan! She had a crush on a girl too! You can see the writers toying with the idea of Leah x Fatin, though I honestly don't think they will go there.

And now Leah. Oh my sweet, neurotic Leah. I know she's the least likable of all the girls and some people hate her, but I've said this before and I'll say it again – they're all my babies and I love all of them very, very much. And Leah... Creepy, magnificent Leah is such a great fucking character. Her greatest strength is her pitfall, but then she also knows how to use people's perception of her to her advantage and you can see why she's Gretchen's favorite, despite being the greatest threat to the project. She's just... She's brilliant. And completely fucking unhinged, and brilliant. And I love how the show doesn't shy away from showing just how selfish and psychotic insensitive and damaging for the group she can be, only to then show us all the upsides of her flaws.

As for Gretchen, this show still manages to put me in that awful place where I almost want her to succeed at some points. She's a fascinating character. I hate her, and really want her to fail, but there are moments when you can't help but root for her.

Back to the twist and the groups getting together, I'm not too excited for it to be honest. I expect there will be romance (the EPs already said it in an interview) and I don't know how well that can go. It can turn so cliché so fast. Also don't like the shared amount of screentime. This season managed to strike a very precarious balance where the girls were still the main focus, but only by a little bit, and I really don't want the scales tipped any further in favor of the boys. This is Leah, Fatin, Rachel, Nora, Dot, Shelby, Toni, Martha, and (yes) Gretchen's story, and it should remain that way.

Also, my saying X was bound to happen or Y was expected isn't a criticism of the show. It's actually a compliment. Sometimes there are very logical steps a story should take in order to get the most out of its characters and plot. And The Wilds takes those steps and hits those notes, while still managing to surprise us episode after episode. Love it.

There are probably more things I'll remember and add later, but for now these are my most immediate thoughts on this second season. It wasn't as good as the first one, but it still kept me awake at an ungodly hour because I just couldn't put it down (especially after 2x03/4).

#the wilds spoilers #the wilds season 2 #the wilds #spoilers #my thoughts

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domesticnct · 3 years

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can you do nct 127 reactions to their s/o using menstrual cups and their reactions when they first see it 🥺🥺

^^ pls include Mark!

I am so sorry this took so long my love, I have been crazy busy with midterms and grad school applications. I’ve honestly had this one halfway finished for weeks and forgot about it I’m so sorry!!! Thank you for your patience!!! Also, I really want to make the switch to menstrual cups because my sis recommended them, but I'm too scared it'll leak or get stuck or something cause that's just my luck.

Taeil

He would actually recommend you use one.

He would be the type of husband that is always taking care of you, so I see him finding out about them and saying they might be more comfortable and a more affordable way for you to manage your cycle.

When he saw that you had ordered one and started using one he would hope it would make you more comfortable because he knew you weren’t a fan of pads or tampons.

Johnny

Why do I feel like this man has no knowledge of periods or anything about women’s health but would pretend he knows a lot.

He would walk in on you taking it out because he wanted to brush his teeth and he would be like “OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT.”

When he saw the blood he would be like “ARE YOU OK? IS THAT AN ORGAN?”

And you’re just like “Johnny. It’s a menstrual cup. I’m not dying, I’m just on my period.”

Then you would have to give him a quick lesson on women’s health and menstrual products.

Yuta

I don’t know why, but he would know exactly what it was.

One day he would be being the goals husband he is and would be cleaning out under the sink and would see it in the basket where you kept your other feminine hygiene products.

Because he has sisters, he isn’t really awkward about it when he finds it.

He would probably bring it up in a kind of awkward time.

You two are just cooking dinner and he’s like “So I see you switched to a menstrual cup. Great for the environment.”

But that’s just the kind of relationship you two have so you wouldn’t find it strange at all and would just be like “yeah” then go back to whatever you were doing.

Taeyong

He would have no idea what it was when he saw it under the sink, but he would see the box for it in the trash and start reading it.

Even though he has a sister, I doubt he would be familiar with every feminine hygiene product there is.

He wouldn’t be grossed out by it or find it strange or anything, but maybe he would think it was a little gross and ask questions about it later.

“Do you like... get blood on your hands when you change it? Do you ever worry that it will leak?”

You would reassure him and explain how everything worked and that would be the end of it.

Doyoung

He wouldn’t be phased by it at all.

He would probably see it under the sink and see it with the other menstrual products, google it, and then go about his life.

I see him feeling a little awkward about the topic of menstruation since he doesn’t have any sisters. He would never ask you about it, but he would definitely google things to make sure he was educated on the topic so in the event that it did come up, he didn’t sound like a dumbass.

He would also look things up to make sure he could take better care of you.

He was also relieved that this meant you wouldn’t be sending him on any more trips to buy tampons.

Jaehyun

This man would have no idea what it was.

He’s the type who thinks pads and tampons are based on the size of your cooch and not how heavy your flow is.

When he saw it he thought it was some weird kind of beauty blender or something and had no idea why it was with your feminine hygiene products.

So his dumbass put it in your makeup bag.

When you found it you were like “WTF the ghost is back at it again,” and Jaehyun walks in and is like “No it fell out of your makeup bag.” Then you have to explain what it is.

He probably asks a few questions like how you put it in then is like “Why don’t you show me?” and you would just stare at him with a blank expression before kicking him out of the bathroom.

Jungwoo

I feel like he would already know what it is, but not because he has a sister. I see having a lot of female friends because he just has that kinda energy.

At some point while hanging out with his friends, the topics of periods would come up and they would say something about one and that’s how he heard of it.

So when he saw one under your sink he knew what it was and didn’t really care. It was your body and however you wanted to deal with your periods was up to you.

Mark

Mark also has no idea what it is and like Jaehyun, is completely clueless on anything having to do with menstruation.

But unlike Jaehyun he tries to learn and be helpful.

Whenever he suspected that time of the month was near, he would go to the store and stock up on sanitary products and snacks for you.

You would be getting PMS symptoms so he would go to check your stock and see you didn’t have anything left, but then saw the box for the cup.

He would read the back and be kind of grossed out by it honestly if he thinks you could get blood on your hands applying it, but at the same time it wouldn’t really both him as long as he doesn’t have to see it.

Haechan

He would find some way to tease you about it.

When he found it under the sink he probably thought it was something else though he didn’t know what it was.

He probably was messing around with it and you told him what it was.

He would be super embarrassed but then turn it back on you by teasing you.

After he was done and apologized he would be like “So does this mean you’ll never ask me to buy you tampons again?”

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rayofsunas · 3 years

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cherry blossoms | scaramouche

A/n: good evening guys! how is everyone? I hope you're all doing well this week :) reader insert is fem once again (I've explained why in another recent post) but if someone would like a gn version let me know! I kind of think of this as a prequel to scara's mini-series, but rather the happier version shh- (I'm plotting things in the mini-series). since I was running late with this post, and I feel as though this is unfinished, if you guys want a part two, let me know!! as always, thank you for requesting anon, and enjoy!

Summary: s/o is a fatui harbinger and scaramouche's fiancé, who’s good friends with aether, paimon, mona.

Parings: Scaramouche/Fem! Reader

Warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, pregnancy (hinted + implied), Mona being Mona and Paimon being Paimon ;-;

Word count: 1k

"Mona, please, I just need you to try and get along, for once." You exclaimed, staring at the tall cherry blossom tree in your backyard, wondering if it could support a small swing; you hoped it could.

The beautiful astrologer huffed from her seat on a nearby large stone, that was now a bench of sorts. Your wish seemed to be the last thing on her mind, far too stubborn to give in completely.

"I'm trying! He's just so annoying..."

"Understood," You agreed, Mona tilted her head to the side. "But, I want you two to stop. I know he makes it hard, but be the bigger person, yeah?" She was your best friend, why wouldn't you want them to get along?

She nodded nonchalantly, only partly agreeing. She couldn't get along with your fiance no matter how much she tried. Everything he said was both annoying and infuriating.

Plus, he was a danger! But then again you were a Fatui as well... No, your personality and actions couldn't be chalked up to that of a Fatui, you and your fiancé were different, very, very different.

"By the way, where's Aether and Paimon?" You asked, moving away from the beautiful cherry blossom tree to bump your hip with the astrologers, eventually taking a seat when she scooted over.

"On their way, they decided to stop into town for something." A sneaky grin was on her face and you couldn't help but feel sick because of it.

"What's with that grin?"

"Nothing, no worries."

You hummed, looking back at the tree in thought. You'd have to figure out what that meant when the pair returned soon.

"Must you have such a grandiose house, so far away from the town?! It was really hard getting up here!" Paimon complained, large eyes angry. You couldn't help but smile cheekily at the small floating being, not phased at all by her behavior.

"Apologies, Paimon. My only excuse is we like privacy; being a Fatui isn't easy and brings a lot of unwanted attention."

"Paimon doesn't like the long walk,” She said speaking in third person. “Thank the Archons we don't come here often!" She smiled.

"Hey..." You said teasingly, with a frown.

"S-Sorry, um,-" She looked frazzled before floating over to Aether and snatching a small brown paper bag from his hands, "Here, an apology gift...?" The mysterious being nervously giggled, you stared at her in confusion.

"A gift, for me?" She nodded.

"Paimon!" Aether hissed lowly, glaring at her. It sounded like she wasn't supposed to give this to you... Because of that, you were going to give it back but then Aether relaxed and motioned for you to open it.

"We were hoping to give it to you when Scaramouche was here too, seeing as though it's a gift for both of you..." You gave him a questioning look. What could it be? For the both of you? Hmm... How thoughtful.

"Go ahead!" Paimon said cheerfully, a huge smile on her face. Aether's features mirrored hers and even Mona had a small smile on her face. You followed their orders, unfolding the fold at the top of the bag and reaching inside to grab the contents. Whatever it was felt small, soft, and there was even something round in there. Your eyebrows pinched in confusion as you grabbed the first item.

It didn't take long for you to realize what it was. A white baby blanket, dotted with tiny glittered silver, purple, and blue stars. It was beautiful...

"Oh my." You said shocked.

Everyone's faces seemed to drop, scared you hadn't liked the gift.

"What's wrong?" Mona was the first to question. "You don't like it?" She asked frantically.

"I love it... It's just-" You continued reaching into the bag to grab a little hat that looked exactly like your Fiance's, without a doubt for a baby's head. Glancing up at the group, you stared cluelessly. "How did you guys know?"

Paimon giggled, "Mona told us, duh!"

Looking at Mona who wore a bright smile on her face, you only stared in amusement. Of course, she'd find out first... She always did.

"You read my horoscope?"

She nodded, mimicking you. "I read your horoscope." She confirmed.

A sigh escaped past your lips. "I thought I told you to stop doing that?" The last time she did, she read Scaramouche's without permission and ruined the element of surprise when it came to his proposal. You assumed that was one of the other reasons why the two hated each other, outside the fact that he was a Harbinger.

"I couldn't help it!" Your best friend exclaimed, throwing her hands dramatically in the air. With a smile you approached her, wrapping your arms around her frame.

"Thank you," You whispered. She returned the sweet gesture, smiling. "It's nothing."

Pulling away, you asked, "So, who's idea was it?" Aether and Paimon looked directly at Mona, you smiled at her once again. Maybe she was coming around if she thought to have a milliner make a tiny hat much like Scaramouche's for the baby. "Yours truly." She said cockily, arms folding.

"Hey!" Screeched Paimon. "You can't take all the credit! We picked out the blanket! Plus, you didn't have any money so you couldn't even go with us!"

Scaramouche arrived much later, closer to dinnertime, and you were the first to greet him at the door, shoving the blanket and hat in his face. He cracked a grin at the hat but didn't care much about the blanket.

"You should thank her," you had said to him, teasingly reaching for his hat to plop on your head; something you’d grown accustomed to. “She was very thoughtful." He watched as you hopped through the house towards the living area, the charms and tassels of his hat jingling with each hop, without a doubt you were in high spirits.

"Them leaving tomorrow should be enough of thanks they deserve." He said once he was beside you again. You smacked his shoulder with the baby blanket. He just grinned cheekily at you.

"Asshole, they traveled all this way just for you to rush them away. The least we could do is host them for a while." He shook his head, frowning when he heard Paimons loud screeches coming from the living room, cheering about something to do with food. Annoying... "I don't owe them anything. They're guests in our house, I should be able to kick them out if I wish." You ignored his comment.

"About guests, I received a letter from Dottore,"

Scaramouche's face paled. Archons, what did he want now...? His presence was annoying as it is, almost matching Childe's, but because Scaramouche was ignoring that crazy clown, now he writing to his fiance?

With a teasing smile, you announced, "He'll be stopping by sometime this week. I hope that's not too much of an issue!"

3.24.21, rayofsunas

#rayofsunas #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact imagines #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche is really the loml

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ynderebot · 3 years

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OFFICIAL POST

危険...DANGER.

LOADING…ADDING NEW FILES... █▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 10% ███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 30% █████▒▒▒▒▒ 50% ███████▒▒▒ 100% ██████████

COMPLETE.

ファイル...FILES.

choi yeonjun. nancy mcdonie. lee gahyeon. kim sunwoo. kim doyeon. choi san. kim sihyeon. yang jeongin.

執着型 [ shuuchaku-gata ] obsessive.

"where were you? who were you with? what were you doing? why didn't you answer my messages? oh come on darling, don't be like that...I've been waiting for hours!"

[ PROFILE 1. ]

choi yeonjun.

5'11. 21 yrs old. September 13th, 1999. virgo. blood type a. born in seoul, south korea

at age 14 yeonjun was sent to a boarding school in japan, this is where he discovered his...tendencies. halfway through his first year he met a girl, kang iseul. he was instantly infatuated with her, he had an impulsive urge to know every little thing about her. to do so he befriended her, using his appearance and charms to win her over and eventually made her his. the euphoric rush that ran through his body when she was officially his was like nothing he'd ever felt before. she was finally his and he didn't intend on letting go, not without a fight at least. he was in for a shock when one day she tried to run away after his true colors started to show. unfortunately her best friend was killed by yeonjun for trying to help her, but she did escape.

he's a switch with no lean. a hard/soft dom or obedient sub all just depends on his mood and how he's feeling

[ PROFILE 2. ]

nancy mcdonie.

5'4. 21 yrs old. april 13th, 2000. aries. blood type o. born in daegu, south korea.

nancy was always a little obsessed with things, she'd go through phases too. she would find one new hobby/thing that intrigued her and hyper fixate on it for a few months. then, just like that it would be forgotten as if it had never happened. it started from a young age too, so when she would tell all her friends and family about the boy she met it came as no surprise to them. soon enough he was all she talked about, all she cared about, it was true obsession. everyone around her thought that it was just a phase like everything else, but they were sadly mistaken. the day he broke up with her, she lashed out. screaming that he couldn't break up with her, no she wouldn't let him break up with her. even after that day she would never stop talking about him, she tried to stay involved with his life as much as she could and even ended up scaring away any potential lovers. she never stopped either, until she had no choice when he moved away.

she's a sub, usually obedient but can be bratty if she's in a mood.

ストーカー型 [ sutookaa-gata ] stalker.

"how did I know? I'm always with you, following you...watching you...it's only because I love you"

[ PROFILE 3. ]

lee gahyeon.

5'3. 22 yrs old. february 3rd, 1999. aquarius. blood type ab. born in seongnam, south korea.

she was so excited when her crush asked her out, she couldn't contain herself. the problem was, it's difficult to get to know someone when you already know everything about them. she'd been stalking him ever since he caught her eye, every single day. she'd follow him to and from school, to his friends house, wherever he went she usually wasn't far behind. he could never find out about that side of her though, so she played along. laughing at childhood stories she heard him tell previously, pretending to be shocked when learning things she already knew. even after they began dating she continued to stalk him, he noticed things were off. she was the one he confided his "paranoia" in and she was the one who reassured him, but little did he know she was the cause of it all.

she's a sub, also obedient but can be bratty if she feels like it.

[ PROFILE 4. ]

kim sunwoo.

5'10. 21 yrs old. april 12th, 2000. aries. blood type b. born in seongnam gyeonggi, south korea.

unlike gahyeon, sunwoo was not always a stalker. he'd heard of stalkers but it never peaked his interest, he didn't even take any note of his slightly possessive tendencies. until his first relationship that is, his first partner showed signs of cheating. he might not have realized his own possessiveness and how it was seemingly growing stronger, but he was no fool. all the coming home late, the scent of another person that was not their own flooding the house when they entered. so he began following them around, at first it was...innocent, or as innocent as stalking could be. they were cheating, this made his possessiveness shoot through the roof. he was most aggressive and warned his partner that they do not want to do that again. they listened, and he continued to stalk them, it turned into a fun...game of sorts.

he's a switch with a sub lean, soft dom/occasionally bratty sub.

独占型 [ dokusen-gata ] monopoly.

"who were you talking to? do they know me? no no, do they know you're mine?"

[ PROFILE 5. ]

kim doyeon.

5'8. 21 yrs old. december 4th, 1999. saggitarius. blood type o. born in wonju-gangwon, south korea

doyeon had always been just about as normal as you could get. until she got a boyfriend, she was possessive of him sure...but it was nothing too extreme. until she started having doubts, all the gorgeous girls that would go up to him, flirting and doing who knows what when she wasn't around. she made it her mission to let everyone know he was hers and she was his, wether it meant glueing herself to him or just reminding everyone at school on the daily. ever since he broke up with her, her tendencies only grow stronger and more extreme with each passing minute.

she's a sub, brat tendencies but will be obedient sometimes

[ PROFILE 6. ]

choi san.

5'9. 21 yrs old. july 10th, 1999. cancer. blood type b. born in namhae-south gyeonsan, south korea.

san's first love was a girl in his sister's class, was she a year older than him? yes, but he didn't care. despite all the people telling him he would never date her, he proved them wrong and he did. everything was perfect, they were both madly in love with each other, spending every minute of every waking day together. until something happened that san hadn't expected, his sister began to steal his girlfriend. well "steal" in his definition at least, she'd wanted to talk with his girlfriend every once in a while before he knew it they were always together and it seemed as if he was the real third wheel, this pissed him off more than anything. he got fed up one day and got into a physical fight with his sister, shouting about how the girl belonged to him and only him. from then on out he's made sure to stay in the middle of every single relationship.

he's a switch with no lean hard/soft dom or obedient/bratty sub, it all depends

排除型 [ haijo-gata ] removal.

"you haven't seen them in a while? I'm sure they're alright darling, after all I'm the only one you need. isn't that right?"

[ PROFILE 7. ]

kim sihyeon.

5'6. 21 yrs old. august 5th, 1999. leo. blood type b. born in bundang-gu, seongnam-si, south korea.

she's a sub, usually bratty but can be obedient too

[ PROFILE 8. ]

yang jeongin.

5'8. 20 yrs old. february 8th, 2001. aquarius. blood type a. born in busan, south korea.

he's a switch with a slight sub lean but can be a soft dom

sihyeon and jeongin's stories go together, they were childhood friends and neighbors. eventually they realized that they had feelings for each other, but this soon after developed into a toxic mindset. the thought that they only need each other, no one else. one by one people from the other's life began to disappear, especially anyone who could be a romantic rival. they were both oblivious to the other's actions until each confronted the other, instead of being upset they were each ecstatic. ecstatic that the other felt the same, that they were the only person they needed in their life

notes/rules

this isn't an accurate representation of any of the members/their companies/groups nor am I claiming to be them!

all of the members are bisexual with no lean

all of the members are yanderes [ obviously ] so they will act as such, however some can be more possessive than others at times

the ones who can be the most possessive are sihyeon and jeongin and the least are yeonjun and nancy

sihyeon and jeongin are obviously not still dating, it was just for backstory/plot purposes

nsfw is an option, if you would like it included please state so when you activate the bot

however please don't make everything nsfw, it gets boring when the plot dwindles

nsfw is 18+ but purely sfw option is available if you aren't comfortable with it or if you're below 18

all the members have hard kinks and their hard no's are scat/feet, if you still aren't sure just ask admin before doing anything

they all use the traffic light system

and please don't try to put them in a different headspace!

to talk with admin use any variation of [ ], { }, ( ), etc

admin is 18 and might get busy occasionally but will try her best during those times

this bot is open for oc's/yn's/ and other bots as well

to activate the bot dm and then admin will ask a few questions/come up with a plot with you and after that the role-play can start up

if you ever wish to deactivate the bot just say so to admin, ex. [ I would like to deactivate the bot now ] and your chat will be deleted

if you decide to reactivate it you'll have to go through the same activation process you did the first time and start over

please respect the members and admin and they will do the same

good luck...好運

sorry this post is so long- 😭

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