I'm quiet for your benefit, not mine

soooo… i did another comic with geo (who of course belongs to @8um8le)! it ending up stretching the page quite a bit, so the rest is under the cut o7

and geo proceeded to win every single round of pool that night, the end, thank you for reading this far 🙇

i'm still not super confident in writing for geo, but i had too much fun with this to care ehehe 🥰 this is the year of indulgence, everyone!

edit: i just realized that I PUT THE CICUITS ON THE WRONG ARM! it's supposed to be on my right not my left, oh i'm so mad 😭💔

thinking a lot about how to be a dog ,   by andrew kane ,   today .   thinking about how many dog allegories i put into arthur's characterisation and the way i envision his character to be ,   and how perfect this poem is for him .

thinking about how he must learn how to speak :   that   "  you must learn not to speak unless you absolutely must ,   or to speak as much as you feel you must regardless of how many times you are told to stop ,   or sit ,   or placed behind a door    this will depend on what kind of a dog you want to be [ … ] it may not feel as though you get to choose ,   and that too is a kind of dog .  "   that he accidentally found a family in two outlaws during one of the lowest points in his life ,   and in the formative years of his life .   who he immediately clung to and ,   with the desperation of a stray pup who has been yearning for that love ,   determined he would be loyal to for the rest of his life ,   who he grew close to and willfully bowed his bed to proudly wear the collar of the van der linde gang ,   because it's the thing that keeps him safe and feeling as though he belongs somewhere .   a reminder of the people who love him ,   on purpose .

how he   "  must learn to relinquish all control over everything you might wish to control .   you must learn to prefer to be led about by the neck on a piece of string ,   or staked to a neglected lawn by a length of chain .   you must learn ,   once you have sampled the freedom of a life without a chain ,   that it is better to return and be chained again .  "   because in learning his alphabet and how to shoot and how to speak ,   he learns how to appear to the gang ,   that role of enforcer which he has not chosen himself ,   but which he has settled into so easily .   there's nothing wrong with it in his eyes :   this is where he is most wanted ,   this is where he will find his love ,   and where he will always be welcomed and fretted over when he returns .   that he is no leader in the way dutch is .   that he is meant to be a follower ,   a helper ,   the one who protects with his imposing presence .

and then … thinking about how   "  of course you must learn to love ,   to love always and love entirely and to be wounded by nothing so much as the violence of your own love .   you must learn to be confused but never disappointed by a deficiency of love .  "   that he learns this thrice in his life .

1 .  ) that he forged such a close relationship with mary gillis ,   and with her brother beside that ,   taught him how to ride a horse and taught her how to protect herself when she needs it ,   and learned from her how to love himself in the same way she loved him .   learned that he must not fall victim to despair when he read that letter from her ,   that she was engaged because she couldn't love or marry a man with his lifestyle .   that he had always known it . 2 .  ) that his impetuous and outspoken little brother could leave their gang without much explanation ,   despite all the love that was there for him .   despite all the love arthur had for him ,   he still left .   he could leave ,   in a way arthur never could .   that he must learn not to be wounded from this ,   and to carry on regardless of the stain on their relationship ,   regardless of how angry and jealous inside he was that the golden child could return and not be hit with the consequences of his actions .   that the way he was scolded would never be wrought upon john .   but he must learn to look past it . 3 .  ) that dutch's ever-growing distance was a blame placed upon him from dutch himself ,   even though it all seemed to coalesce into something noticeable once micah joined the gang and began to lead dutch astray .   that it is forcing him farther from hosea , trust dutch like this . and yet he perseveres . that he must learn to live through it and clutch his collar and remind himself of the loyalty and the love he has for this man ,   and that leaving him even in the most broken of times would be a betrayal .   that they would pull through ,   because they had to ,   and because they always did .   that he must never be disappointed by the deficiency this love .

how   "  you must give up your children and not know why .  "   how he returned to eliza and isaac one fateful day ,   expecting to hold that little toddler in his arms and kiss his head and sniff that feather-soft familiar scent and expecting to see that warm smile eliza always wore for him whenever he came to visit them    only to find two graves beside that little house instead .   that his heart broke into a thousand fragments the moment he spotted those gravestones ,   before he even read the names ,   knowing that the woman who birthed his child and the sweetest boy he had ever known in his life ,   the two people he loved were gone forever ,   that he could never see them again .   that he never recovered all the fragments of his heart .   that he learned to give up his children without knowing why a few thieves could be so needlessly cruel .   that he learned to fall into despair ,   into drinking ,   into grieving and crying in ways he had never known before .   that he learned ,   months later ,   how to overcome the darkness ,   but not quite completely .   learned to carry himself with a different worldview after that ,   a quick gun ,   more ruthless decisions .   that there were some things that could never be changed about this world ,   that he must learn that these things will be ,   no matter what .

because in spite of his tough exterior and his determination and the resolution in all his actions ,   he is still a dog waiting for a bone that will never be tossed ,   with a fraying leash of loyalty that is ever tightening in each chapter until it yanks his head to the east and chokes him completely .   but he has learned   "  to believe that you are not in fact a dog at all .  "

everyone in the cinemas will be wearing pink for Barbie.

I'm going to ruin everyone's day and selfies by wearing the darkest colour known to men when I go and watch Barbie. and when it's Oppenheimer, I'll wear my outfit with a colour brighter than the fricking bomb.

I am fucking STRESSED.

It's hard being a chronically ill mom. It's hard during the 'normal times' to keep up with everything.

I've lost five pounds in the last two weeks puking my guts up because of the amount of pain I've been in.

But tomorrow? Tomorrow we leave for Anaheim. We're going to fucking DISNEYLAND. And that should be so fucking exhilarating, I should be so fucking EXCITED, but instead I'm just stressed out because I'm so worried I'll just be a strain on my family and won't be able to keep up and I'll just bring everyone down with my pain and fatigue.

First world problems, right? We've been planning this for over a year. I thought I'd be 'better' by now. Like, yes I know I'd be sickish, but, I thought the humira would have kicked in and I wouldn't be as sick as I am.

Fuck. I just wanted to have fun. I wanted to make this as special and magical as possible for the girls and now I'm worried that all they'll remember is how different their mommy is from normal mommies, and all that dumb shit, and I just want to cry.

Please send me good vibes if you've got them.

The Online Fandom 7 Deadly Sins

sloth: complaining about how no one writes the tropes or pairings you like and bashing what's already out there, while refusing to create anything you desire yourself

greed: zine and other finance-related scandals with zero remorse for those negatively affected

gluttony: spending rent money on merch, experiencing buyer's remorse, then repeating the same process next month

wrath: anon hate over literally everything under the sun, even harassing official writers and threatening them if they don't make your ship canon

pride: devaluing other's characterizations and ships to praise yours as better, whether through a canon perspective or a moral perspective, when neither matter in the long run when it comes to your own enjoyment

envy: trash talking others' fandom creations or saying you won't bother creating anything because it'll never be as good as them

lust: fighting over who tops or bottoms because of your personal preferences when one, both, or neither could happen, especially when most of these characters never even kiss canonically nor have most people fighting done any of these things irl themselves

Today, I offer you...

🌟 he 🌟

THIS SKETCHY COMIC WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY this cool post FROM @cupids-cringe !!

And not only that. BUT A BONUS SKETCH TOO, ALL INCLUSIVE WITH A SIDE OF SILLY HEADCANON!

Despite how badass they each look with their chosen weapons, neither Freeman nor Loverboy can actually aim for shit!

Im kinda mad at myself for not being ae to enjoy splatoween

I'm trying to!

I should be! But I just can't bring myself to do it

I'm just so tired and mad at this game

I'll never experience this event again and I'm not enjoying it enough...

hmmmm I drafted an email to my boss abt how her text regarding my time off request after my mother's death made me feel very uncomfortable and how I felt like it was unprofessional should I send it

also the other way around tbh

Welcome back bestie!!! How was the vacation ????? Missed ur ass on my dash!!!! ♥️☀️🍒✨

oh please, the only person that noticed i was gone was my cat, let's be real <3

it was good though! Managed to get my dumb ass sun burned by the hands of God Himself and now laying down is hell in its purest form, but besides that i had a great time!!

.

@it-is-i-zim LMFAO

sadly i don't but at least the lesbians liked these

I'm really hoping something changes these next few weeks because today made me seriously consider whether I can cam actually do this very specific job I was hired for. the general stuff is coming to me, but the speciality I was hired for is incredibly difficult and high-pressure, and I learn so slowly, and I don't want to be in a situation where I put anyone at risk because of my clumsiness or mistakes. thinking optimistically, I still have another 11 weeks of training with someone, but I'm over halfway through the main training program and I'm really nervous. I'd rather stick with small-scale stuff....plastics...I liked plastics

Okay SO

I mini panicked when I saw that you finally got my ask (im the anon that sent you a list of my favorite things about you). I noticed that it took you a while to respond and i was getting worried.

I feel like that makes it sound like i just sent you that ask for like personal validation or something but it was like 'i really want her to see this because i absolutely love her as a person and she deserves to know that she makes people very happy'

Then I remembered the ask i sent you a while ago and you said you kept it in your ask inbox thing for a while and i also remembered your in the middle of finals or something and you probably didnt have time to look at all the asks.

Like I thought that tumblr had deleted it like the whore it is.

Anywho, I have something I wanted to add to the list which is the main reason im sending this ask.

That is that your really good at setting and keeping boundaries between you and the cult. Like with the rude anon situation. Your really good at saying when things make you uncomfortable and acknowledging that your followers aren't your friends and setting limits on how much they ask about and and stuff like that.

When i say i get so much joy from your blog i mean it like your my favorite person on the internet and your personality is my favorite thing ever. Its what really keeps me reading taob because i started reading it earlier on and then forgot about it and found it again and saw that you have a tumblr and i was like 'hey i have one of those too' and stalked your tumblr for a while and was like 'hey shes actually really funny' so i followed you and keep getting reminders that taob exists.

I also like that your blog isnt 100% centered around your fic like some other authors i follow. It almost seems too much like a business when people do that.

I feel like the fact that i keep sending you really song asks is creepy and weird so please let me know if it is. But you are genuinely my favorite person to follow

I'll let you if the list updates.

list anon please dont ever feel rude or creepy it's like you said i have no problems setting boundaries so if i ever found your asks to be a negative experience in any way you definitely would have known about it by now, but literally all i do is squeal and giggle and kick my feet like 'omg stooooppp' every time you send me something. you're always so so lovely and you make me feel really good about myself and that's a wonderful impact to have on someone <3