#I'll feel better tomorrow I guess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

running-in-the-dark · 1 year

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On days like today I really wish I still had a therapist. It would help so much to discuss what happened with a neutral outsider, someone who is a competent, apparently well adjusted person whose judgment I can trust. Like, I know we didn't do anything wrong, I even googled it to see if you have to ask your landlord before drilling holes in walls here (you don't). But it didn't help, I still feel like I did everything wrong and like I'm a horrible person. Knowing that's illogical doesn't help unless someone else that I trust confirms it and discusses the whole thing with me. Because my brain is stupid.

#like I think I really didn't gain many long term benefits from therapy #but having that opportunity to discuss issues as they happened absolutely helped a lot #now I can tell myself the things I know my therapist would have said... but that doesn't work because those thoughts come from my brain and #my brain cannot be trusted #ugh.#but it's fine or whatever #I'll feel better tomorrow I guess #until then I'll keep reminding myself that I could maybe have done some things a little better. but their behaviour was not appropriate and #the way they talked to us wasn't right #I can't control their behaviour or their reactions and I handled the situation the best I could #everyone was calm and friendly in the end and there don't seem to be any consequences #we'll adjust our behaviour and try to be even quieter (somehow) for a while so they know we respect their wishes or whatever #but in the end. landlords are scum and they're not our friends and tbh we don't owe them shit so like.. whatever. we'll be nice because we #like it here and we'd like to keep living here but they're not the amazing people that they think they are just for letting us pay them a #shit ton of money to live in this house.#okay rant over #personal

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front-facing-pokemon · 11 months

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#manectric #i woke up at like noon today y'all i'm queuing this after work. i forgot about it all day and i was about to hop on totk #but i got the reminder to do it. so here i am. with manectric #el woowoo‚ if you will #a lot happened. yesterday. it was not a very good day. which is why i woke up so late. it was a little bit rough. but i guess it's a new day #so. it'll get better. planning on Not Doing Shit today or tomorrow to compensate for all the Bullshit that happened yesterday #hoping you all are doing well. one week from today (friday june sixteenth) i'll be hopping on a flight for the first time in 10 years #looks like according to the queue this will actually go up the day before we leave. so‚ to you guys‚ i'll be heading out tomorrow #which is scary a little bit. last time i flew i had no idea i was autistic‚ but now that i've come up with a lot of better accommodations #for myself and i understand myself a lot better and my needs‚ i'm realizing a lot of my accommodations just aren't gonna make it through TSA #plus it's a lot of unfamilarity with unfamiliar people and an unfamiliar environment which i feel like is gonna lend itself to sensory #overload like Immediately and i'm probably gonna get a headache bc that's how it manifests for me #so when we get there i'm probably gonna have to run to the nearest pharmacy. and grab some shit. which is annoying! so. i'm a little #worried. about the trip. NONE OF HTIS IS ABOUT MANECTRIC SORRY #this is a pokémon i have a hard time caring about outside of its involvement as the leader of the electrike in amp plains #that's about it #any tips from frequent flyers who are autistic would be greatly appreciated. not even just about flying but about like. going to unfamiliar #places on the other end of the country and stuff. i feel like that's what i'm most worried about even though i'm worried abt all of it #also hi i'm writing these tags from day-of. like the actual day this is going to post. me from a week ago sure did know what she was talking #about! anyway. i'm. gonna like. take my meds now goodBye see you all when this Posts in a few hours

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menshusband · 1 month

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What does a man have to do not to live in constant dread

#this is about school #mostly #i hate it here chat #what am i to do #someone.....if you have any advice... please #i have an oral test tomorrow i have to learn by heart two texts in chinese and learn 100 new vocabulary words #help. drowning #literally #can no longer keep it up #for the record I'm demotivated because my efforts never take me to satisfactory results #and yea sure nothing changes overnight #but like. I've been trying for at least 8 years now? aren't things supposed to get better after a while I'm trying?#I've tried changing methods eh #anyways. unsatisfactory results. and it gets frustrating because I feel so disappointing because I know before starting that I won't be abl #to do The Thing. get to complete homework? memorise something? BE ABLE TO FUCKING TALK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WHO KNOWS HOW TO TALK???#you name it. i just can't do it #in school specifically but outside too #only outside of school i don't whip my ass about it because who fucking cares #but this is something that will influence my future chances of getting jobs too #like i cant talk the way i do in a job interview nobody's going to think i have basic communication skills or even basic human skills at al #ah nevermind it's fine #I'll find a way #some day #i guess #the unsilly

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meownotgood · 8 months

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apologies for not being active... I might not be for a bit longer ... I am..... sick

#I'm so upset I was doing perfectly fine and then my boss came in sick #and guess what now I am sick #I shouldn't be going to work today because I need to rest #buuuut I must... continue on....#I hope I'll feel better tomorrow or the next day because I have a package filled with akis coming soon.... lol #aki tuck me into bed and take care of me pleaaase #feed me some soup...

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getbreaded · 2 months

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I've been feeling really burned out and unmotivated. I think it's the mid semester blues.

I hate feeling this way, it fuels my anxiety of not being productive, making me more unfocused and causing me to achieve even less.

And then I skip class and feel guilty over skipping class, then I feel like a failure and just want to quit everything. Then I think dear god this is my second degree, if I quit what will I do? Then I think what if I can't finish in the designated 3 years and need another year?

Then I go to a job fair and this very nice engineer tells me they recruit almost exclusively people with master's degrees. And I think dear god if I need a master's degree I'll be 26/27 when I finish this path. Then I think but time will pass anyway, isn't it better to pursue something that will give you a better chance in the future? But do I even want a master's? Do I have it in me to start

Idk these past few days have just been hard

And then I isolate myself and just wallow in these thoughts with no one else to bounce them off of and it just

Argh mid semester blues

#idk guys #going through it i guess #just been feeling like a failure these past days #but i went to the job fair #and i studied a bit for AD #and it was better than yesterday #tomorrow will be better than today #and if i need another year it'll take another year #and if i decide on a master's #I'll get a masters #life #uni #academia

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girlitfeelsgood · 22 days

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I'm so nervous about writing an essay for the first time in two years. What if I do horribly 💀

#logically I think it'd be highly unlikely that I would do badly enough to not pass #and this is just one free standing class so the grade I get isn't actually that important #failing would be bad though because it would complicate things with students benefits next time I apply lol #but I don't actually feel much pressure to get an A or anything #but I'm still nervous because it's been a while since I've written academically #and I've always been better at doing in in english than swedish so that's another thing #(probably partially because I have more practice writing in english) (so I guess it's good for me to practice doing it in swedish)#anyways yeah. I've never written an essay that was anywhere close to getting an F #so even if this is higher level and I'm a bit rusty I don't really think it's likely that I'll fail #but I'm still nervous #I also know I won't get started until next week because of the taylor shows but I'll still have 10 days so it should be fine #I mean I'll probably take a look at some stuff tomorrow but yeah #personal

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faejilly · 5 months

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jilly's week in review?

I guess or something. Idek y'all, I was gonna try and do reviews but then I just rambled about what I did instead, so this is clearly gonna need a format revamp next week

anyway

READING

Finished Daughter of Witches

and also St. Peter's Fair, which I had started AGES ago and sort of lost track of, but I'm doing the January Challenge on TheStoryGraph and couldn't decide what to read next but needed to get my pages in, so I went digging for random shit and I have read it before and watched all the Cadfael mysteries so it's not like it was hard to get into to finish it so I could save my streak.😅

Read A House with Good Bones (on purpose from start to finish in one day!) because T. Kingfisher/Ursula Vernon is absofuckinglutely one of my favorites. (There's a thought here about my occasional forays into the horror genre, and how some horror is almost kind of cozy because it's about protecting what we love from what we fear, and that is very much a Kingfisher kind of thing, but that might need a new post and a more functional brain to figure out where I'm going with that.)

Listened to a little bit more of IT while doing housework; I'm not great at audio books except when I'm driving, but sometimes I can manage a little (and I didn't want to distract myself from dishes by picking up a new book instead). Stephen Weber is an excellent narrator btw, for anyone who's curious.

WATCHING

The husband was sick last week, and I was only sort of doing shit either, so he kind of just put the TV on and let it go and I definitely will not manage a nice list with links like I did with books. There was some M*A*S*H, (oh, I did finally watch the special that recently came out on Hulu), and RoboCop (largely because Thing 1 gave the husband the new game for Christmas) and several different Predator movies of various quality, and a bunch of other stuff I am not thinking of at the moment. I know I picked a couple and watched them myself but with everything else I can't remember what?

Also some Mythbusters when Thing 2 picked something to watch for awhile, which is pretty much always entertaining even when we're like: your sample size is nonexistent and just because you can't do it doesn't mean someone who knows what they're doing couldn't have done it so are you SURE you should have busted that? 😅

PLAYING

I got Garden Story for Christmas and got through the quest-lines and realized I was quite far away from all the upgrades, so I've been periodically poking at it and trying to get my villages/tools better before trying the Final Boss. I have had a good time with Concord though, it's fun, I'm just not sure the leveling functions, such as they are, are paced/balanced quite right? 😅 (Or perhaps I'm just Bad At Fighting In Cozy Games? This does seem to be a bit of a trend tbqh, probably why I liked Wylde Flowers' lack of combat so much.) I also have found VERY FEW of the memories/weird achievements so that's a thing I'm probably going to have to look up hints for soon-ish...

(I did finish Potion Permit last year, which is great, I recommend it whole-heartedly: the potion building mechanic is usually pretty solid, it has good characters, a nice aesthetic, I did actually mostly have fun rolling around and fighting things/gathering stuff, but I did reach the end of the main quest and then go... huh, is that it? just because it, yk, kept going after the finale but there didn't seem to be anything there beyond like, a couple personal quests that needed materials I couldn't unlock until the end.)

MORE ENTERTAININGLY I THINK, we did also play some board games

Paint The Roses is QUITE HARD with only two people even if you stick to the medium level whims; or maybe I'm just not that smart?!? We did in fact survive without getting our heads' chopped off by the Queen of Hearts, but we legit guessed the last two puzzles so. Dumb Luck™️ is not nearly as reliable as actually figuring out how to plot your plants better.

We did Escape the Dark Sector (with more people this time, tbf) on our first try though! That was pretty delightful. It is atmospheric and potentially almost deadly without feeling too awful at any point! Also I got to punch a tentacle monster!

Mice & Mystics can go dramatically bad if your dice aren't on your side and you do like, one stupid thing to compound that, and then if you're invested enough to start over you can suddenly realize you've been moving tiny plastic mice and bugs around the table for like four hours and still only got through the first chapter... but not regret it at all because you like your mice and are very proud of them for finally making it!

Can you tell we like co-op games? 🤣🤣🤣

(I did also do some rearranging so the game room was comfier, so like, win/win I adulted and played!)

THERE WAS NO WRITING OR CROSS-STITCHING OR PAINTING OR ANYTHING ELSE THIS WEEK, so uh. Clearly my balance of activities is bonkers and I should maybe get off the couch/game chair(s) a bit more often.

#jilly spam #jilly reads #jilly has a gaming problem #favorite shows #I guess for the brief MASH mention?#I can definitely recommend #a house with good bones #for feels and family dysfunction and weird/terrible magic shit and a Vulture and terrifying roses!#plus some interesting tangents on how batshit people can get #including historical examples!#(not that historical)#that makes no sense sorry I'll stop now #tag spam #week in review #will probably need a better tag for that too #but that is a problem #for tomorrow!jilly

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felizusnavidad · 4 months

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"not sure if that's a job for me tho, i was excited after my first day but now i am more like... confused? people are nice, which is great, but it's not exactly the kind of job i was looking for so idk. i may start looking for something else if nothing changes (i promised myself i'm not gonna stay if i don't like it cause i usually make this mistake & then i'm stuck in a place i fucking hate for 2+ years, not this time tho)."

*this is a different anon!* That's unfortunate, I'm sorry about that. It's okay if you don't want to or even can't, but may I ask what industry? And, is it retail again? I'm still on the job hunt myself, and I'm hoping to have a new job before May 31, 2024. That definitely sounds realistic, however, I need the hiring manager to believe in ME and give me a chance. I swear they won't regret hiring me. Ha. Anyways... is there an industry you're genuinely interested in and want to learn more about? Management skills are never a bad thing to pick up on and to your résumé! That's technically retail, but whatever, lol. I hope you're doing well!

(Once a BIG update (or more) happens to me, then I'll direct message you, by the way.)

~🌼

omg, hi! it's been a while! 🥺

so i don't want to give you any details, but long story short, it's an office job but you still have to talk to customers, just not face to face but through phone calls. i don't think it's right for me tho & i'm ready to quit any day now 😂 i don't even want any specific career, i just... don't want to talk to them anymore because i fucking hate them (after my 7-year experience i definitely know i wasn't born to be a customer assistant, they make me want to kill myself, i'm a depressed piece of shit & i blame them for that a little bit). the only job i actually liked was my first, in a bookstore (i had amazing team & i was working with something i truly loved), i miss it every day. but i am also very interested in just making money to survive, you know. i just don't want to feel so stressed every time i go there & so far i really feel like i want to throw up when i wake up in the morning & i barely even sleep at night. it sucks. i'm just really tired & i want to cry.

#or maybe i just need a nap idk #my sleeping pills are not helping either so...#well i do have an option you know #i can just quit any minute #i have savings i can survive another month of searching #i guess i will make my decision after tomorrow #i just feel so lost at the moment #poppy get your fucking shit together jesus #i hope at least you are doing better #i'll be waiting for the update & keeping my fingers crossed ALWAYS #& thank you for the message that's so sweet of you #sending hugs #daisy anon #i saved every letter you wrote me*

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mothram · 3 months

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