#I’m mentally ill and I love that he is also mentally ill and probably looks at the monarchy with disgust | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

girlboypersonthingy · 1 month

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Hazbin Boys x reader- Comfort ❤️‍🩹

This is a request from an anon- hazbin boys comforting reader with depression/mental illness. Includes Lucifer, Angel, Husk, Sir Pentious, Vox and just a dab of Alastor. Original request here + a heart felt message from yours truly 💌

TW: depression, mental illness, sickeningly sweet fluff

Notes: gn!reader, NSFW during Angel’s part 18+ plz

Lucifer 🍎

Oh my goodnessssssss, prepare to be treated like absolute royalty.

I’m talking foot rubs, back rubs, playing with your hair

Not only will he make you food, he’ll literally try to feed you and offer you sweet praises when you do eat. Eating can be a real chore sometimes…

“Good job, my love. It’s gonna be okay…okay?”

I think Luci is pretty touchy in general, but when you’re down in the dumps, he gets extra clingy and touchy

He’ll pretty much constantly have a hand on you- holding your hand, a hand on your back, a gentle rub on your shoulder

Will unfurl his wings and drag you close to him in bed, wrapping his arms and silky feathers around you as he lulls you to sleep

Like imagine a midday depression nap all tangled up with Luci, curtains drawn so the room is nice and dark, the temp is perfect, the bed is hugging you just as good as your babe next to is. Ugh. Plz, I want this. I need this.

Will try to gently coax you out of bed and try to get you out of the house. He knows it won’t be easy for you but he thinks getting you cleaned up, dressed and out doing something fun you’ll feel a bit better. You’ll at least be distracted from your sadness for a bit.

He’s so kind and nonjudgmental too. He gets it completely. He has depression too. Even the king of hell deals with mental illness, okay? Mental illness does not discriminate

He’ll offer the best advice he can muster up, using his own experiences to help you out of your funk

All in all, he’s just an absolute sweet pea. So doting, so caring.

Angel Dust 🕸️

Also has mental illness, also gets it completely.

KING OF DISTRACTIONS

Angel is a sweet boy but I don’t think he’d be too great at offering advice…

So he does his best to distract you from your feelings, doing whatever it takes to get you to smile, even just for a second.

Will ask you what you want to do first, whatever will make you happy, he’ll go along with it.

If you insist on rotting in bed, he’ll probably respectfully pull you out of bed, tell you “this ain’t good for ya, babe” and force you to go do something fun, something relaxing, something for yourself

Sorry not sorry but he’ll def offer to cheer you up by fucking you, letting you fuck him, eating you out, sucking your dick. Go ahead, take your stress out on him, he can take it ;)

Also the king of self care.

SPA DAY SPA DAY SPA DAY

Will draw you and him a bath, rub your shoulders while you sit in the warm water together, will even wash your hair for you

Forces you to wear a face mask with him lmao

“C’mon, (Y/N)! Lemme paint ya nails! You’ll look sooooo cuuuuuute~”

Expect lots of touching and kisses with him at night, especially if you’re having trouble sleeping

Rubs your back, rubs your arms, will rub gentle circles on your butt if you’ll let him, kisses your head, kisses your cheeks, kisses your nose

ALL THE KISSESSSSSS 💋💋💋

Husk 🃏

Okay listen…this guy is obvi a great listener and he’s pretty good at giving advice. Honestly, he’s probably the best person to go to.

Husk is an old soul, he’s pretty wise, has a lot of life experience, death experience, his own experience with mental illness and even addiction.

He could just listen to you talk for hours, waiting for you to pause before he replies. He’d never interrupt. He’s so patient with you 🥹

Will keep a close eye on you and any new habits you’ve seemed to pick up. He fixes his own issues with booze but he’s the type to say “do as I say, not as I do”

Won’t let you spiral into addiction like he did…it’s not an option.

I think Husk would be a good mix of “Come here, give Husker a hug. It’s alright, hun. Let’s go take a little nap, yeah?” and “Hey, I know what’ll cheer ya up!” *proceeds to show you the coolest, craziest magic tricks*

He’s a good balance of comfort and distraction

Anything he can do to help, just say the word

Will tell you funny shit he’s seen the folks around the hotel do just to see you laugh for a moment

“One time, Angel was walking right in front of the bar at like 7 in the morning and tripped over literally nothing and face planted! I had the best seat in the house. It was hilarious.”

This is my own personal headcanon, idk why but I feel like Husk can cook really well. He’d totally make you food, even bring it to you in bed if you don’t feel like getting up

Will absolutely let you play with him like a kitten, won’t even be upset about it. Play with his ears, give him pets, let his fur be your stim toy, let his purr soothe your achy heart

Sir Pentious 🐍

Plzzzz, he’s such a simp. I love this slippery, special little guy 💚

Big on cuddles! Will cuddle you all day, all night if you want. Loves the physical contact, and loves it even more when he can feel you relax a bit against him.

Will make his eggs boys do anything for you. Whatever you want, you tell them and they’ll happily oblige.

Kinda random but I think he’d be the type to try and pull silly little pranks on ppl around the hotel just to get you to laugh. He’s such a silly goose omg

He doesn’t really understand what you’re going through so he’ll just keep asking you what he can do, how he can help, what you want, what you need from him.

He doesn’t get it but he’ll do anything for you.

When you’re feeling particularly lazy and it’s extra hard to leave your bed, he’ll literally carry you around. Just lounge in his arms, darling, he’ll take you wherever you need to go. Don’t need to go anywhere? Fine, you’re gonna come along with him to do his daily tasks. Sit in his lap and just watch as he works.

Just wants to keep you close. He can’t stand the thought of you being alone when you feel like this. No matter where he is or what he’s doing, he wants you close.

Unless you insist on having some alone time or needing some space. Again, whatever you need from him, you got it.

Although, he may get a little teary eyed and pouty when he leaves you. Can’t stop thinking about you all day and probably comes and checks on you several times.

Vox 🖥️

“CANCEL MY MEETINGS, HOLD ALL MY CALLS, TELL EVERYONE IM NOT RESPONDING TO EMAILS UNTIL TOMORROW!”

Guy needs to focus on his baby right now. You are his top priority, everything else can wait. You are just too precious to put on the back burner.

Will be sure to tell Val and Velvette to leave you two alone. He doesn’t want them upsetting you any more than you already are.

This man has his assistants waiting on you hand and foot. He’s gonna stay in your bed with you, cuddled up with tons of blankets, both in your pajamas as you watch movies while ordering his staff to bring you whatever it is you desire.

Will eventually yank you out of bed bc he can’t stay still for too long but you’re coming with him. Wants to keep you company always

In public, Vox isn’t the most romantic or touchy. He’s a busy man with a huge reputation to uphold. While he would never completely ignore you and he’s no ashamed to show some PDA with you, you sort of always find yourself following in his shadow when he’s hard at work.

Once he sees how much your mental health is affecting you, he becomes much more attentive, much more protective of you.

He’ll hold your hand or keep his arm around you when out and about. Will give you a gentle kiss and a prideful smile before getting on set for a news shoot.

If you’re having a particularly hard day, everyone get out of the way! Hes taking the day off, he doesn’t give a fuck what anyone says or thinks.

You are too important to him. Without you, what good would all his accomplishments be? Without you, who would he share all this with?

He needs you to stick around 🩵

Alastor🩸

I think Alastor would be absolutely clueless but he’d try his best nonetheless!

He’d also be one to try and distract you.

Wanna go to cannibal town and visit Rosie? She’ll help cheer you up! She’s a great listener with tons of good advice to give

Will reluctantly invite you into his room and lead you to the half of it that looks like a swamp/forest. He will take off his coat and sit in the grass with you, staying silent but watching you look around in awe.

He’s got lots of cool powers and will summon or manifest little things here that he thinks will bring a smile to your face.

Summons little lightning bugs to carefully dance around your face, holds back from slaughtering a deer that’s approaching just so you can admire it from afar, will watch with a genuine smile as you lay back in the grass and relax to the sound of crickets chirping and light jazz music.

If you asked…he might give you a hug. Might.

Also sends his shadow to check up on you every so often but if you notice this, he will deny it with all his might.

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bartythebabygorljr · 4 days

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HEY SHITHEADS

I’m Barty Crouch JR [this is an RP blog]

tag me in any stuff u want me to react to rahhh

I got this weird muggle website bc idk I was bored lmaooooo

it’s kinda cool but the MLP stuff looks like my nightmares came to life, ate one another and threw up again 😇

he/they ❤️‍🔥

student at Hogwarts rahhhh ⛓️

my dad suckssss but unlike ur mother last night he doesn’t swallow 😉

prolly mentally ill but nah 🔥

ultra black monster is my best friend 😈

My friends r cool and also on here bc everyone finds it impossible to say not to me bc im the coolest:

@evanmp3 - Evan - my darling Rosieeeee❤️ my best friend

@reg-can-swim - Reggie - says I ‘forced him on here’ 🙄🙄🙄 [I love tjat little depressed victorian boy]

@panda-is-pan - Dora💖 - cool ass witch and objectively one of the best people ever

@cas0meadows - Dorcas <333, she scares me but I love her

@prongsieb0y James. Ugh. Yawn. BORING. Hot. Not saying I like him but if it was a party and he asked to kiss me I’d probably fold like a deckchair 🧍

@remus-john-mo0ny-lupin - Remus. HOTTEST MARSAJFER BU FSR U GUYS

@siriuslyhotterthanyou - Sirius 😍😍😍 lowkey enemies 2 lovers - bitchkiller 4 life

@the-one-and-only-lily-evans - Lilyyyyy - I think she’s really cool :D

@mar-lean-into-me - MARLSSSS - chaotic platonic loml

(OOC: feel free to drop asks in my inbox and ill answer them in character :D also if u wanna join w a character we don’t have yet then DM me <3)

(OOC again: main blog is @thedvilsinthedetails my personality is…the exact same as on here LMAO)

#slytherin skittles #barty crouch jr #evan rosier #barty crouch junior #rosekiller #evan x barty #barty x evan #dead gay wizards #marauders rp #marauders era rp #marauders era roleplay #Barty Crouch Jr rp

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where-does-the-heart-lie · 4 months

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i love sabo being half blind specifically bcuz it's his left side and i am half blind on my left irl too. tho my blindness is different than sabo's i'm sure, bcuz the way u draw his eye looks like a cateract [like the fire burnt the cateract, makes sense] so he can probably sense light and see very vague blob of color, whereas my left eye blindness is central blindness with peripheral vision intact. anyways. [sticks sabo into my very special 'left eye blind characters' pocket]

I really love the half-blind sabo a lot. He means lots to meeeeee

Im glad you cans see representation for your condition through my mentally ill bestie here.

I’m also glad that the cataract eye i gave him makes sense, cuz like i knew that thats what cataracts looks like but also i just wanted to do give him one for stylizing purposes cuz it look cool. So im glad it works out in a way that makes sense.

Thanks for the ask!

#ask reply #@h0n04rys3n10r #typing your url was a nightmare to my dyslexic eyes #i can respect it tho

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semisolidmind · 7 months

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I’m sorry if this was already asked but is MK in the twice as bad au? Since Peaches is immortal, she would probably find MK first or she finds him while her husbands are looking for her outside the palace. They find her outside playing with a little boy. Wukong didn’t think twice about adopting him, especially when he saw MK lift his staff, and Macaque loves telling him stories.

(it was, but ive been thinking about TAB mk lately so ill talk a lil more about him

so I think the last time i talked about mk in the context of this au, it was in the version where reader is killed while she and the boys are on the journey, and the boys go into a violent depression slump for the next thousand years. in that timeline, wukong finds mk as a toddler and raises him like his son (with macaque standing by for uncle duty). mk becomes an unstoppable force of nature under the monkey bros tutelage; enough so that any of the foes that posed a problem for him in the show are child's play in this au.

reader being present for mk's upbringing is one of the better timelines for him mentally. he gets to have a mom, for one. and instead of having just the brutal philosophy of the monkey warlords taught to him, he's also taught to have empathy and compassion. instead of just killing his enemies, he tries to show them mercy. it's a better outcome for everyone involved, honestly.

there's a few posts of mine that explain this modern iteration and reader's place in it, but let's talk about your scenario.)

reader goes on a morning walk. a rare occurrence, given her husband's love of sleeping in and their usual refusal to let her out of the pillow nest. but, they had an early appointment today, so reader took the opportunity to shirk her queenly duties and go visit some of the scenic mountain locals. whilst on her walk—

she finds a little monkey demon boy. just wandering the jungle, seemingly in awe at everything around him. reader isn't sure what to make of him. she takes notice of his unkempt state.

reader doesn't want to believe any of the monkeys would willingly neglect or abandon one of their children, but the boy is covered in dirt, his fur somewhat matted, and he has no clothes to speak of. perhaps he's just lost? he is very little. maybe his parents just lost track of him...regardless, reader feels the need to take him back to the cave to ask around and see if anyone can identify him.

when she calls out to him, he looks over at her, but doesn't respond. when she approaches him, he just...looks up at her, following her movements when she kneels to be closer to his height. reader asks for his name, and the boy doesn't respond. but he does step closer, his little tail twitching curiously.

reader cautiously reaches out to brush some of the matted dirt from his fur, moving the overgrown mess away from his face. he has amber-gold eyes, not dissimilar to what wukong said his looked like before the furnace. while reader ponders the similarities, the boy suddenly climbs into her arms. she instantly embraces him back, surprised but knowing that baby monkeys like to be held nigh constantly. poor lil guy, she thinks. probably missing his mama. the way his tiny hands grip her robes breaks her heart a little.

reader decides that she'll take care of him for now; he needs a bath, some food, and proper clothes, at least. reader takes off her overcoat and wraps it around the lil guy before hefting him up into her arms; he's pretty heavy for someone so small.

reader turns and heads back to water curtain cave. the little boy settles against her, tiny hands curled against her chest and his head in the crook of her neck. reader holds him close. she reassures him that they'll find his family.

after politely waving away a few embarrassing questions from some well-meaning monkeys along the way (no, he isn't her baby, she didn't leave for an hour or two just to have a baby, please stop saying that—on that note, do you know who his parents are), reader makes her way back to the cave.

she supposes she can see why they'd think that the child in her arms might be related to her; the boys' fur is a similar shade to her hair, though slightly darker (and the likelihood of her children being demons like their fathers is very high, should they ever have any).

as they get further into the cave, and closer to the palace, reader is stopped by a group of servants wondering about the child. reader explains as the monkeys (a small group comprised of aunties) look the child over, mulling over who's baby he could be. maybe this family? no, none of them have that fur color, and the face shape is different. perhaps he's from this village, on the east side of the mountain? no, none of them have had any babies yet this season, and the children they do have are all older than this one. they go back and forth like this for a while.

while reader talks, the boy suddenly perks up. he sits up and his eyes focus on something in the distance. reader turns to glance at what's gotten his attention.

ah, she sees.

her husbands have just finished their meeting, and one of them is now headed this way.

that's the king, she tells the boy. the boy says nothing, and stares at the approaching monarch.

reader understands why. the king is wearing his armor today, the gold plating glinting off refracted light coming from the waterfall. his cape and vestaments flow behind him as he makes his way toward them. he's the very picture of a noble ruler.

riiiiiight up until he notices that reader is carrying a child that looks suspiciously like her. his entire expression morphs into surprise, then gentle curiosity.

the king stops short in front of them. reader can almost see the gears turning in his head. he sees the gold eyes, the fur color...perhaps he's having a similar thought as his many subjects about the child's origins.

wukong steps into reader's space, a hand on her arm. his eyes are searching, a question on his face. where did this child come from? reader explains how she found him, and how she has yet to find any of his family or anybody who recognizes him. wukong assures her that if he has someone looking for him, they'll eventually turn up at the palace.

in the meantime, he may stay here, the king decrees. he can see that reader's gotten attached, and doesn't think separating the child from her would be a good idea. the little boy clings to reader like she really is his blood.

reader takes the child inside, getting him a bath and clean clothes, then takes him to kitchens to get him something to eat. wukong joins them, and attempts to get the boy to speak. reader feels her heart soften just a tad every time she sees her husband interact with the mountains' children.

---

no one ever claims the boy.

so, wukong and reader formally adopt the child, and give him the name xiaotian. he is soon accepted as first prince of flower fruit mountain.

wukong begins to train xiaotian to become a warrior as soon as he sees the boy lift his staff with suspicious ease. once he's old enough, he takes xioatian with him to the dragon palace. wukong won't give up his signature weapon, but he will steal another pillar for his son to weild. he trains the child to be as much of a threat as he is. despite his rigorous training regime, wukong is a very caring and playful father.

macaque becomes another guiding figure, and finds that the child loves to listen to stories. every night before xioatian settles next to reader's side to sleep, the darker-furred demon regales him with tales of his and wukong's exploits. reader chimes in occasionally, calling him out whenever he embellishes.

reader remains a comforting figure for xiaotian. he goes to her when he feels lost or upset, knowing that she could give him a gentler perspective on his problems. she's his rock whenever he's unsure. he knows that if he gets caught up in the politics of demon-dom, she'll be there to be a calming presence. he's very cuddly with her when he's small, and goes to her for hugs once he's bigger. he's very glad to have her around to help him.

xiaotian becomes a very cautious person as he grows, the ideals of his adopted sires pushing him to believe that most immortals, demons, and mortals are not to be trusted. however, reader teaches him that not every problem needs to be solved with violence.

his life is very different than what it could have been.

#bad end wukong #twice as bad au #bad end mk

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andyeddieeee · 3 months

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What Your Favorite Band of Brothers character says about you (revamped and based on personal experiences)

Winters- You’re either a pretty level headed person or your life is in complete shambles and you find comfort in characters that know how to handle stress.

Nixon- You love a good self destructive character and more than likely see yourself in them. Also, how is your undiagnosed mental illness treating u lately?

Lipton- You just want to be held and cared for so bad it’s not even funny anymore.

Speirs- You most DEFINITELY read wattpad stories as a kid. The mafia kind. You’re also unnecessarily horny on the internet and probably say he’s “Lana-coded.”

Roe- You love a good tragic and tortured character, I’ll give you that. You also listen to boygenius and love religious imagery.

Babe- I’m gonna take a wild guess and say you’re on some type of lgbt or autism spectrum.

Liebgott- You have a really weird self-confidence complex and read a LOT of enemies to lovers. I’m lowkey scared of you even though you’ve probably never hit anyone in your life.

Webster- You’re an artist at heart and view the world in a way that might set you apart from your peers. You can never and will never tell if that’s a good or a bad thing. Also you call grown men “babygirl.”

Guarnere- You have TERRIBLE taste in men and can never tell the difference between being mean or flirting.

Toye- Ditto ^ but also may I add you probably have a thing for people in uniform.

Buck- You are a very simple person. You like everything to just be kind of normal and calm all of the time. Sometimes you dip your toes in the water, but it’s more of a once a year kind of thing. Your favorite superhero as a kid was Captain America.

Luz- You are just cool. Very Ferris Beuller, Bill and Ted, Matthew Lillard kind of cool. You’re also probably transmasc or into guys to some degree.

Shifty- You’re either one of those “omg smol bean” people or you just love a good ray of sunshine kind of character. Your favorite pony as a kid was probably Fluttershy.

Malarkey- I’m so deeply upset just looking into your eyes dawg you need to take a nap and book a therapy session. Not a single one of you guys is completely and totally stable.

Renee- You so desperately wanted this show to pass the bechdel test and wished more women were included in the production. You’re also into women.

Perconte- You’re either really cool or you’re really annoying. No inbetween.

Bull- You really liked the SNL “Big Boy” skit with SZA

Muck- You want to be the funny friend so bad and you’re still not sure if you’ve earned that title yet. Mad respect though bc I know ur ass has seen supernatural in full. More than once.

Welsh, Penkala, Spina, Talbert, Grant, Martin, Penkala, Hoobler, Skinny- Either you’re lying to be different or you genuinely love a good underrated background character.

Blithe- Mm you’re lying lol

Sobel- Hey, girl! What the fuck!

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neonnoir-ao3 · 6 months

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Caine and Pomni falling in love in the Circus and making it out together only for Caine to realize how warped all their personalities were compared to who they actually are in reality, but especially Pomni’s.

Okay literal train-of-thought word salad from here on out, prepare yourselves accordingly.

• Like he knows Pomni as an anxious little jester but they love each other and she’s cute and funny and affectionate and all that fun stuff. But once they’re in reality he follows her like a lost puppy because he has no idea how this place works and gets to see how she actually lives.

• Pomni is basically an accidental femcel when it comes to vibes. A complete girlfailure, if you will. (socially isolated, chronically single brunette with glasses, you get the idea)

• A “nice relaxing night for her” is playing a random YouTube video essay that’s like three hours long while lounging on the couch and not wearing pants, eating an entire bag of chips and probably hitting her bong. She gave up on dating in college due to failure after failure so she’s accepted that she’s gonna die alone… or rather she says she has. (She read that “I’m not doing to be loved in this lifetime, am I?” quote in a TikTok slideshow and proceeded to down an entire bottle of wine that night while sobbing)

• She wanted to get a cat to ease the loneliness, but she doesn’t feel good enough— a cat deserves more than just a shitty apartment with a wreck of an owner in their mid-20s.

• He goes back to her apartment— it’s dingy and shitty but it’s the closest place to the office that she can afford. Her half of her pantry is ramen she bought in bulk. She’s medicated to high heaven and her kitchen counters look like a pharmacy.

• Pomni is either so fucking embarrassed when Caine sees how her life is in reality or the Human Depression™ in her Human Body™ has already set back in by the time they get there and she’s just miserably accepting of it. There is no in-between.

• She showers for the first time since The Incident (she didn’t need to bathe in the DC, her clothes were literally attached to her body there/hygiene was a total nonissue in that world) and she just breaks down and spends a good 30-40 minutes taking a scalding hot shower (as all the depressed girlies do) while sobbing her heart out. It’s cathartic as fuck to be able to lose her shit for once without the threat of abstraction, but it also hurts so fucking badly at the exact same time.

• Something about mental illness in real humans versus their digital avatars really messes with Caine. At the very least he could create a zany adventure to get their mind off of things, but then there’s some days where Pomni just stays in bed all day and doesn’t say a word. This world is so harsh and dull and colorless in comparison to the world he was made for, and there are fleeting moments where he wonders if it would’ve been better if they had both stayed there.

#ANGST ANGST ANGST #might reblog this with a quick fluff chaser so check back soon #caine x pomni #pomni x caine #showtime ship #showtime tadc #tadc showtime #showtime

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x0x0josephinex0x0 · 6 months

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little wonders | wonwoo

genre: childhood bsf!wonwoo x reader, game developer!wonwoo, all fluff, a day in the park in autumn, comfort <3 warnings: reader is not in a great place mentally, but no explicit mental illness is named. skinniness is brought up, disordered eating is mentioned, childhood bike crash & stitches mentioned, gendered terms used (woman), dresses and makeup mentioned, jeonghan makes an appearance, reader mentions church once, lmk if i'm missing anything

You plunk out a single, despondent note on the piano, and look glumly around the empty room in your brand new apartment - empty but for the terribly out-of-tune piano the last owner left behind for you after hearing you were musically inclined. The off-key note hangs in the air like the melancholy loneliness that was your seemingly constant companion these past few days. You can’t even muster up the energy to sigh.

This is not what you had expected when you had decided to follow your dreams. You were finally here -- in New York City, the place where you had always wanted to live, working in your dream career. And yet, although this was a change you had desperately wanted to make for yourself, you felt drained, alone, and empty. Plus, there was the crushing worry that always accompanied guilt. After all, you couldn’t help but remember all the friends and family members, some of whom relied on you, whom you had left behind. All for this -- to sit in your sad, empty apartment, alone on weekends. From where you sit on this raggedy piano bench, it looks embarrassingly foolish.

Your phone buzzes. It’s your mother. You stare at her name on the screen, debating silently. If you don’t answer, she’ll be worried. If you do, she’ll also be worried. There really isn’t any way to win. You choose the third option, texting her as your phone continues to ring: “Sorry, I’m busy right now and can’t talk! I’ll call you later.”

She texts back after the call goes to voicemail. “Ok, just wanted to make sure you’re alright!”

“I’m alright,” you reply, “Just getting settled in. I love you!”

That ought to hold her off for a couple hours, you say, stretching. Tired, you lay your arms on the piano keys and then let your head fall, your eyelids fluttering closed.

You are abruptly awakened at the sound of a knock at your door. Thinking of all the horror stories that start this way, you creep forward and look through the peephole. Standing at your door is a tall, good-looking man wearing glasses and a black baseball cap. It’s Wonwoo, your childhood best friend and now new neighbor, who made the move to the city a few years before you had and lived two floors above you.

You curse under your breath. You’re in a raggedy tank top and pajama bottoms, and quite aside from Wonwoo being the most attractive person you know, he knows you well enough to know that if you’re dressed like this, it probably means that you’re not doing well.

He knocks again, and calls out to you, just as you debate leaving him to rot on your doorstep. “I know you’re in there,” he says, and there’s a laugh in his voice.

Frustrated, you crack the door open just a tad, so that all he can see is your face. “Hi,” he says, and the way he beams when he sees you is almost enough to dispel the melancholy. “It’s been awhile.”

It really has. Wonwoo had been out of town on a business trip when you’d moved in a month ago, and had only yesterday returned from some distant town. You hadn’t seen him in person since he’d moved to the city two years ago, although you had spoken frequently and had partially made the move because of him. “Hi,” you say back, trying to sound normal, but sounding dumb even to yourself.

He shoots you a quizzical look. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you hedge. “You look good.”

“Thanks,” he says, still looking at you suspiciously. “Can I come in, or are you naked in there?”

You glower at him, and then step from behind the door so he can see your outfit. “Not naked. I don’t really have anything for you to sit in, though.”

“Well, that’s okay,” he says, stepping across the threshold. “I don’t need to sit.” He walks into your empty living room, turning around, a sad half-smile on your face. “Your mom called me,” he tells you.

“She what?” you ask him.

“She’s worried about you,” he says, moving over to the empty mantle. It’s covered in dust, and you blush with embarrassment. “Honestly, I’m a little worried too.”

Your eyes fill with tears. You had anticipated a large, loud, warm housewarming party with new friends from work and church and other social events, but no one had ever even been inside your apartment but you. All at once, you feel empty and lonely and nearly invisible, and the feeling overwhelms you. You wait till Wonwoo’s back is turned before breaking down completely.

He notices right away anyway. “Hey,” he says, his tone gentle, and he crosses the room in two strides to pull you into his arms.

It’s been a long time since anyone hugged you, and the last hug you’d given Wonwoo was awkward, observed by both of your parents, who had long wanted something to happen between you two. You were surprised at how much he’d seemed to grow in the two years he’d been absent from your life -- you remembered hugging him had felt bony and uncomfortable because of how skinny he'd been as a teen, but now, cradled in his arms, you felt the muscle beneath his shirt and jacket. It was comforting and warm here, like a piece of home you desperately need, and you let the tears flow freely, watching as they hit the red pattern on his jacket.

Your shock continues when, as you sob into Wonwoo’s chest, you feel his hand on the back of your head, offering gentle strokes of your hair. The Wonwoo who’d left you for New York had been the kind of person who was awkward with physical touch. He had rarely hugged you -- not even when you’d graduated high school together, not at your last performance that he’d come to see. This new affection from him is both confusing and vital for you. You breathe him in, needing this closeness more than you need air, letting him hold you until the tears stop.

When they finally do, he pulls back to look at you. “What’s going on?” he asks, brushing the wet stickiness of your tears off your face with the back of his jacket.

“I think I bit off more than I can chew,” you tell him, still sniffling. “Was it hard for you, when you first moved away?”

He thinks for a minute. “I don’t think I ever cried this much,” he admits, still stroking the back of your head. “But I also don’t think I’m naturally that social. I think you’ve been alone here for far too long.”

You nod in agreement. He tucks you into his chest again, swaying back and forth soothingly. “Why haven’t you had anyone over?” he asks. “It’s hard for me to imagine you haven’t made any new friends here.”

“I really haven’t,” you admit, and the guilt washes over you again. Tears choke your voice. “All I do is go to work, and then I come home to this. I can’t invite people over to a place where there’s no furniture, and I don’t even have anyone to help me move it in.”

“You have me,” he reminds you.

“Now,” you tell him. “You were gone.”

He sighs. “Well, I’m not going anywhere far for a good long while,” he tells you, giving you a little squeeze.

There is a brief pause in the conversation before he continues. “I think you haven’t bought new furniture because you’re thinking of leaving. Am I right?”

You are once again shocked. “How did you know?”

He chuckles. “I didn’t have furniture for a week after I moved here.”

“Really?” you ask, pulling away to look at him. “I thought it wasn’t as hard for you.”

“No, I just didn’t cry as much,” he says, still grinning. “I struggled plenty for a week or so.”

“It’s been a month,” you remind him, starting to feel panicky again. “I’ve been here a month, and things haven’t gotten better.”

His eyes are kind. “Everyone moves at their own pace,” he says gently.

You shake your head. “I wanted to move here so bad,” you say bitterly. “I thought I was finally going to live the life I always dreamed about. And I’m just miserable.” You hate how your voice shakes, and how the tears begin to well up in your eyes again. “I think there’s something wrong with me,” you whisper to him, the worry in your voice evident.

He smiles at you. “What you’re feeling right now is very normal. Whenever anyone makes a big change like this, it takes time to adjust.”

His eyes suddenly light up. “Go change. Wear something warm,” he says. “It’s a bit chilly. We’re going out.”

“But --” you start to protest, but he lightly shoves you toward your bedroom door.

“Go,” he says, exasperated but laughing. “I promise you it’ll be good for you.”

You reluctantly change into a sweater and jeans, throwing a puff-top beanie on top of your mess of hair. Tumbling out of your room and putting on your favorite pair of boots, you face him. “Okay, I’ll play along,” you say, a little breathless. “Where are we going?”

“I’m going to show you,” he says, grabbing your hand and running out the door so fast you barely have time to lock it.

It’s no time before you’re in the brisk fall air, the sun spotty between clouds, the chill nipping your nose. You struggle to keep up with Wonwoo, whose energetic pace is not like him. Normally quiet and reserved, you had normally been the one dragging him out on adventures. He must be very excited, you reason to yourself, and you can’t help but smile. The thought makes you feel warm.

The first place you stop is at a meatball sandwich restaurant. “This is the best meatball sandwich in the world,” Wonwoo says, accepting the foil-wrapped meal with a thank you to the tubby gentleman who hands it to him. “Try it.”

You do — and an explosion of flavors hit your mouth. You look at Wonwoo with wide eyes, and he grins at you. “You were right,” you say, taking another bite and handing him the other half of the sandwich. The depression of the past month had guaranteed that you did not eat much, because making food was so overwhelming and hard. But this reminder of how food could taste brought you some hope that your energy would return. You try not to cry as you look down at the sandwich, and Wonwoo takes you by the hand to guide you to the next place.

“This city is home to some of the best food in the world,” Wonwoo reminds you as you walk hand in hand. “It’s pretty crazy that we live two blocks from that sandwich.” He then looks at you, and you can see the awkward teenager he used to be shining out from his eyes. “If you ever…well, if you ever don’t feel like eating again, you can let me know. I’ll take any excuse to go back to one of my favorite places. I can even grab it to go and bring it to you if you can’t go out.”

You don’t know how to respond to this thoughtfulness, so you just take another bite. You have suddenly become very aware of his hand in yours, his fingers intertwined with your own like you used to do as kids, and you’re glad that it’s chilly so that he can’t differentiate from the sting of the cool air and the blush that has stolen up your cheeks.

You stop at Central Park. It’s beautiful on this gloomy day — the fall colors are popping against the cloudy sky, and the occasional bursts of sun seem to set the world on fire around you. Wonwoo points at bluebirds that flit around the branches of the trees, making you laugh as he tries to imitate the sound they make in the morning. “Do you remember Mr. Scarecrow?” you ask him suddenly, remembering in elementary school when Wonwoo used to walk in a whacky, limp stride at your request.

He smiles. “Of course,” he says, letting go of your hand to lurch around on the empty path.

You giggle. “We were weird kids,” you admit. “What was that about?”

He looks at you, his smile softening with nostalgia. “It’s not that strange,” he says. “I just loved hearing you laugh.” This revelation hits you right in the heart, and it thumps hard. You have to take a deep breath to calm yourself. After the numbness of the last month, any feeling is foreign, but it is especially odd to be feeling this with - and about - Wonwoo. Wonwoo, who you’ve known since before you could read. Wonwoo, who was at every performance and event, whose parents set you up on play dates, who dated girls in high school and watched you date boys, who knows you better than almost anyone, and with whom it now feels like absolutely no time has passed, even though it’s been years. You are amazed, thinking of how quickly you’d adjusted to having him in your life, and how comfortably he fit there. It feels like a line is being crossed, and you can’t tell what exactly waits on the other side of it.

When he comes back to stand next to you, he doesn’t take your hand again, and you are strangely hollow at the thought that maybe he really was just showing you around — maybe the frantic beating of your heart against your chest was nothing close to how his own heart felt with you. You try not to be crushed at this idea. To occupy your hands, you shove them in your pockets, striding alongside Wonwoo as he tells animated stories about his life in New York and his job as a game developer, and even despite yourself, you find yourself grinning.

Suddenly, Wonwoo gets a call. He checks his phone and his eyes get wide. “Hey, Jeonghan,” he says in answer, giving you a significant look. “You know that girl I was telling you about? I’m with her right now.”

You shoot him a quizzical look. He grins, half-listening to his friend on the other end. “Oh?” He says, nodding. “Yeah, I think we could stop by for a few minutes tonight.”

You point at yourself in disbelief. As Wonwoo hangs up, you ask, “what was that about?”

“My boss wants to meet you. He’s really cool. I told him we’d come by his party tonight if you were okay with it.”

Your stomach turns over. “I don’t know,” you say.

“I thought you might say that,” he says, and throws his arm around your shoulder. “But we have awhile until then. We could go home and get ready right now, and still have some time to chill beforehand.”

The way he says it — like he plans on being there with you the whole time — comforts you. “You’ll never make friends here if you don’t find courage to try to meet people,” Wonwoo says, rubbing your shoulders gently. “I know it’s hard sometimes, but these people have heard about you. And they’re really good people.”

You feel warm inside. “What did you tell them about me?” you ask him.

“Just that you’re my best friend and I was really excited for you to move here,” he says, not meeting your eyes.

You can tell there are things he’s not telling you, but you decide not to pressure him. “Okay,” you agree. “Let’s go then.”

🥰🥰🥰

Three hours later, you’re standing in your living room, your hair done and wearing an acceptable amount of makeup, in a little black dress Wonwoo picked out for you. “Are you sure this is okay?” you ask him as he emerges from your bathroom, wearing a white button-down and black pants.

You find yourselves staring at each other. “Wow,” you say in unison. He looks stunning, and he simultaneously looks stunned. “I forgot how well you clean up,” you say first.

“You look beautiful,” he says, his eyes wide as he examines you.

You blush. “Thanks.” He doesn’t move, just looks at you, still taking you in. You grin. “If we don’t go now, we’ll probably be late.”

He seems to shake himself into reality. “Right,” he says, grabbing your hand, and you lock your apartment door on your way out.

He holds your hand all the way down the stairs, helps you into the cab, and looks at you with a small smile as it pulls away. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” you say honestly. It feels good to be going somewhere dressed up, and you find that your anxiety is greatly calmed by how peaceful Wonwoo seems. You examine him in the lights from passing cars and billboards as the taxi crawls through New York traffic. “You seem happier,” you tell him.

He nods, looking out the window. “I am,” he says simply.

“I’m glad,” you say.

He takes your hand again. “Me too,” he says, interlocking your fingers.

The cab lets you out near a huge skyscraper. Wonwoo opens the door for you, helping you out of the car and keeping hold of your hand as you approach the doorman. “Hi, John,” Wonwoo says. “We’re just here for Jeonghan’s thing.”

The doorman smiles widely. “I’m glad you brought that girl you always talk about!” he exclaims, holding out a pudgy hand. “Good to finally meet you!”

“Thank you?” You say, a bit of a question in your voice, and you look at Wonwoo. He’s blushing deeply, but he looks happy to have introduced you to this guy.

John lets you in, and you head to the elevator. Wonwoo hits the 15 button, and you turn to him as the doors close. “How much do you talk about me?”

He smiles widely. “Enough,” he says. “Didn’t you talk about me while I was away?”

“Everyone I know already knows you,” you tell him, both flattered and embarrassed. “What have you been telling them about me?”

The elevator dings. Wonwoo smiles mysteriously, before grabbing your hand to lead you into the penthouse.

It’s luxurious and decorated with tasteful, minimalist art. As you turn the corner, a group of people call greetings to you and Wonwoo, and he raises the hand you aren’t holding to wave. “Hi,” he says to his friends, a few of whom jog over to shake your hand. One of them, clearly the host of the party, looks you up and down before twirling you.

“You’re even prettier than he said,” he says, winking at Wonwoo. “I’m Jeonghan.”

“Thanks,” you say, looking at Wonwoo hesitantly.

“We’ve heard a lot about you,” he says kindly, leading you over to the rest of the group. “We have so many questions for you.”

A tall, dark-haired boy in the corner calls out to you. “What was Wonwoo like as a child?”

“Shorter,” you say automatically, and the group laughs, including Wonwoo, who nods his agreement.

“I didn’t like to share my toys or other things,” he admits. “I’m still that way.”

“Is that why it took you so long to bring her to meet us?” someone asks, and everyone laughs.

He gives a small smile. “If I hadn’t been gone, that might have been part of it.” He grins at you. “The things I like the most are the hardest to share.”

You feel yourself flush red. “He wasn’t all that bad,” you say. “He was also very loyal and honest, even as a baby. Once an older kid shoved me down, and he didn’t know what to do, so he sat down next to me and cried with me. He’s still that way, too.”

“He did say you have a gift for seeing the good in people,” says Jeonghan, the teasing tone of voice clear. “Even if it’s hard.”

“It’s not that hard,” you say quickly, and Wonwoo beams.

You continue speaking with Wonwoo’s friends. They are kind, interested in you, and full of life and laughter. You feel at home — even though this is one of the nicest apartments you’ve ever been in, and these people began the evening as complete strangers to you. A piece of your heart seems to heal.

Still, you are grateful when Wonwoo offers to show you the view from the balcony. After being isolated for a month, the company feels nice, but overwhelming. You sigh as the cool air hits your skin, and you drink in the sight of the city lights twinkling at you from below.

“They’re not so bad,” you finally admit to Wonwoo, gesturing back at the group.

“They like you, too,” he tells you, leaning against the railing of the balcony.

“Will you ever tell me what you told them about me?” you ask him softly.

His eyes are starry in the darkness. He pushes slowly off the railing of the balcony and takes a step toward you. “Sure,” he says, his voice casual, but his gaze is intense. “What I didn’t tell them is more interesting, though.”

“What didn’t you tell them?” you breathe, close enough that when you speak your breath moves his hair.

He grabs both your hands. “I didn’t tell them a lot. I didn’t tell them about the time we were learning to ride bikes together, and we crashed into each other so badly that you needed stitches, but you wouldn’t let your mom drive away without giving me bandaids and pain medicine. I think that was the first time I realized what kind of person you were.

“I didn’t tell them how I spent all our lives trying to stay close to you without really understanding my reasons for it. How I got angry every time you dated a boy that wasn’t me, and they mistreated you. How I looked for you in the eyes of every short-lived relationship I had with anyone else. And how whenever I was less than compassionate to myself, it was you that helped me be gentler. I left out the part where you were the one who taught me what it meant to be loved.”

He steps closer again, and you are so close that your noses are almost touching. He brings a hand up to your chin, tilting it up. “And I also left off the part where you knew me better than anyone, and vice versa. I didn’t tell them that being around you is the happiest I ever am, even on your worst days, even when you worry about not being able to be fun or happy or excited for everyone else. That you left home to follow your dreams, but you feel guilty about those you love that you left behind. That you can become emotionally attached to anything, even the cracks on the sidewalk. How every little thing with you — even just a sandwich or a walk in the park — feels like something special to me, because you make it that way. That everywhere you go, you bring some kind of small magic with you.” He is gazing into your eyes now, begging you to see what he’s trying to tell you. “I didn’t tell them a lot.”

“What did you tell them, then?” you whisper.

He smiles at you, his eyes gentle and full of joy. “I told them they would finally get to meet the woman I love.”

You feel yourself beaming at him. His thumb caresses your cheek before he whispers to you, “I also don’t think I’ll tell them about what happens next.”

And with that, he leans down and presses his lips to yours. You throw your arms around his neck, smiling against his lips, and laugh when he starts to kiss your cheek and temples and nose and jawline. “You love me?” you ask him as he lifts your feet from the floor, still showering you in kisses.

“Of course I do,” he says. “I have for almost my whole life.”

“I love you too,” you say, cupping his cheek in your hand and kissing him back.

#wonwoo #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo fluff #svt fic #svt imagines #svt #svt fluff #svt x reader #jeon wonwoo #city boy jeon wonwoo has my heart #wonwoo imagines

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ithaquasbbg · 3 months

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I’m back :3

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Frederick Kreiburg | Composer general relationship headcanons

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Tw: Brief mentions of mental illness but that’s it.

Extra: I love this guy so much I wish he was a little more popular among the fandom :,))

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|🩷| Starting off generally- Frederick seems like the type to be hard to get to know. He doesn’t have large amounts of trust for the people around him, and seems to prefer to be on his own. You’d need to put in effort in order to be in a relationship with him.

|🩷| He’s somewhere between pretty and handsome, though probably leaning a little more towards the feminine side.

|🩷| Frederick is insecure when it comes to his looks, often worrying that you’d only be interested in his looks instead of him as a person. You can compliment his appearance, but he might start getting anxious if that’s the only thing you pull attention to.

|🩷| Sure, he’s been in relationships and flings with many people before, he does have a reputation for wooing people. However, he’s never truly been loved by another person. Because of this, he probably is inexperienced in terms of real romantic acts.

|🩷| On top of his, his childhood doesn’t seem like it was very loving, and he may close up when met with physical affection or kisses for a while. When it happens, he often stares dumbfounded for a while. (It’s cute, but a little sad at the same time)

|🩷| He’s very fond of gift giving, though that’s largely because it’s what he’s used to. At the beginning of a relationship he’d likely believe it to be transactional like his past ones and in turn treats it that way.

|🩷| Though as he gets more comfortable his gifts slowly become less monetary in terms of value, and he’d instead compose and play songs for you as his gifts.

|🩷| When it comes to receiving, he’d likely take time to understand why you’re doing things for him, but he’d be very happy with words of affirmation or acts of service. Remind him that he’s valuable to you because he’s himself, not because he gives you things.

|🩷| In all honesty he strikes me as being potentially on the autism spectrum (self projecting a little) and he may not handle touch well due to sensory problems, but occasionally even he’ll find himself longing to hold onto another person.

|🩷| Frederick is not a fan of PDA, and would rather not be touched in public. This is in part due to him being rather touch adverse, but also because he was raised to be very prim and proper, and likely didn’t receive public affection as a child.

|🩷| That being said, on days where he’s willing to touch you and you’re both in private he probably is quite reserved about it. Making excuses to make contact with you such as “you have a hair in your face”.

|🩷| Occasionally he’ll hug you from behind and bury his head into your shoulder or hair depending on the height difference between you two. Hes on the taller side (I’d guess around 5’11- 6’1) and would probably resort to the latter.

|🩷| In terms of big spoon and little spoon… he’s not a spoon. Frederick is a knife.

|🩷| In all seriousness he’s simply not the most cuddly person ever, but will cuddle occasionally. Because of how touch adverse he tends to be you usually let him initiate it, and he typically ends up as the big spoon.

|🩷| He can make a really good little spoon too, especially if he’s the more submissive PERSONALITY (not freaky… this is a holy x reader blog for now!!) in a relationship. Though even then you’d likely need to pull him into that position after he’s fallen asleep, he’d be too embarrassed to be awake in that position.

|🩷| He strikes me as a closeted bisexual, perhaps pansexual. I wouldn’t see him being entirely opposed to polyamorous relationships, but I think he’d likely feel much more secure in a monogamous relationship.

|🩷| He’s a good kisser when he’s open to kissing, probably one of the things he’s the most experienced with in terms of relationships.

|🩷| On top of that he can be quite charming, he knows how to use his words to woo a person through past experiences. Though even then, don’t expect anything too bold from him.

|🩷| Frederick is decisive and can be quite stubborn, he likes to be the one making choices and can come off a little bratty in these situations. But truth be told, he simply wants to know that you respect his thought process and opinions. Please let him make choices from time to time, it really makes him feel more appreciated.

|🩷| He’s an easy person to fluster if you know what buttons to press. Public intimacy is a good shortcut to flustering him some days (going back to this topic. Whoops.) Frederick is pale, and there’s no way to hide the blush on his cheeks.

|🩷| His favorite nicknames for you are probably quite tame if he even uses them. The only one I could really see him using is the occasional “dear”

|🩷| Though you may catch him calling you “his angel” from time to time.

|🩷| Frederick strikes me as somebody who you would call things like “darling” and he’d enjoy it. You could call him “sweetheart” but he’d likely just be confused on why anyone would consider him of all people sweet.

|🩷| Due to his mental health struggles he’s probably somebody who needs a partner willing to put in lots of energy, but he’d totally give 110% back in return.

|🩷| Frederick can function on his own especially after being disowned. This comes out when you’re sick the most, he’ll make you food or drinks and stay by your side as much as he’s able to.

|🩷| His hair would likely be quite nice to play with, and with enough convincing he would probably allow you to fidget with it while he does other things. It’s the least overstimulating type of touch for him, and he’d appreciate your contact even if it’s only through that. :)

#idv fandom #idv fanfic #idv headcanons #idv imagines #idv x reader #idv scenarios #idv matchup #idv frederick #frederick kreiburg #frederick idv #identity v frederick #idv composer #composer idv #identity v composer

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emlovslennon · 3 months

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omgg last night I dreamed about supeeer cute soft dom george being very affectionate and giving making love to reader making her forget all her insecurities whispering in her ear a lot of worship, it's my first request and don't speak English very well but I'm here hehe love ya!

GUYS IM ALIVE HOLY FUCK BALLS !!! Anyway HEHEHHEHE evil laughter back to my mischievousness (mental illness). Also I LOVE YOU TOO

Era: 1965 cuz i feel like it

Audible moan.

You had been feeling extremely insecure ever since you got back from the opening of the the Beatles new movie, “Help!” You saw how in the newspapers they were saying incredibly cruel things about you, especially about how tight your black dress was when you wore it to the premiere. It was, “Name the Beatles wife with the worst taste?” Or “That dress certainly doesn’t look flattering on her!” Like it was some joke. You felt tears brim your eyes just thinking about it. You’d constantly look in the mirror and pinch at your stomach and thighs, you just couldn’t understand why you couldn’t be as beautiful as Jane or Maureen or Cynthia.

“Love, I’m back! Love? What’s wrong?” George said, he had just gotten back from a meeting about an upcoming album, so he unfortunately couldn’t take you along since it was a private meeting, not a public one. You were laying on your shared bed crying, with a newspaper at your side. The one that completely wrecked your self esteem. George caught on and picked up, in complete anger, he ripped the newspaper up and threw it in the trash.

“Absolute bloody rubbish! I hate those damn newspapers, y/n, come ‘ere love.” He said, quite angry, but gentle once he called your name. He couldn’t believe someone could say that about his wife. He thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. How could anyone not agree? They must be blind.

“Love, don’t listen to those bloody bastards, you are the most beautiful and lovely woman I ever laid eyes and have ever met. If they don’t believe that, then they must not have eyes.” He whispers in your ear, playing with your hair. Your tears at this point subsided and you looked up at him, he gave you a grin and kissed your forehead. You know this probably wasn’t the best timing, but you just couldn’t resist when he looks at you with nothing but pure love in his eyes.

“George, could you maybe show me how beautiful I am?” You say quietly, George winks at you in a joking manner and wiggles his eyebrows which make you giggle. George slowly positioned you to get you to lay on your back while he slowly got on top of you.

“I mean it when I say you look stunning in anything.” He whispers, playing with the hem of your black night gown, it was short and only went down to almost the end of your inner thighs. He looked at you for permission and you nodded, as he slowly lifted up your night gown, leaving completely exposed. You usually didn’t bother with under garments when you were going to sleep, you just didn’t feel the need for it.

“You amaze me every time, y’know that?” He praised, as his hands went to your breasts as he pulled you into a passionate kiss, leaving you breathless. George lifted himself up to take off his black long sleeve shirt and the pair of black pants he wore with it, as he went back down to kiss your neck, he hand slowly wandered down to your core, lightly rubbing causing you to whimper. George grinned at the sound, George loved nothing more than when you made noises for him, he doesn’t even really care when it comes to him getting off it’s just as long as you do he’s good.

“Can I?” He asks, his fingers nearing and circling your hole, you nod frantically as he giggles at your reaction, he slowly inserts two fingers into you. You bite your lip and throw your head back into the pillows with the intrusion. But you couldn’t lie, his fingers do wonders. He slowly thrusts them in and out as he watches you whimper and moan, he usually never goes fast unless you tell him to, he’s just never really been that kind of person. Whereas someone like John is the complete opposite.

“F-faster, George!” You moan out, causing George to kiss and suck on your neck harder than he did before as he went faster, your juices starting to seep down to the sheets as the noises coming from your core begin to echo through out the room. You felt the tightness and heat in your belly about to burst and you knew that only meant one thing.

“George-I’m-“ you couldn’t even finish your sentence as you felt as if you were sitting stars as your orgasm hit. George never wanted to admit it, but he absolutely adored when you orgasm your a shaking and moaning mess for him, you look absolutely wrecked just from his fingers.

“Are you ready? Do you need a minute?” He asks, one thing to note about George, is that he is huge on consent, he would never, ever, do something that you didn’t like or something that he thought could hurt you. It would break him into a million pieces if that happened.

“Yes, please!” You say shakily, George nods as he kissed your forehead, slowly lining himself up and entering you.

“You’re always so good for me, always. No one could ever compare.” He whispers lovingly, kissing your earlobe as he slowly thrusts in and out of you.

“Your noises are to die for, you are to die for, i can’t get enough of you.” George loved praising you during sex, he always took pride in doing so.

“G-George, please.” You whisper, George looks up at you, with a questioning face.

“Please, faster! Please!” You moaned out, George gave you a smile and kissed your cheek as he went faster, but not too fast, just slightly faster than the pace he was going. You moan out as he brings his fingers down to your clit and rubs circles round it, making your legs shake. You could feel your orgasm getting closer and creeping up on you like it was the grim reaper.

“George! Im gonna cum, please!” You cried out, all the worry, sadness, and insecurities you were experiencing early had completely disappeared. They were nowhere to be found. George always managed to make your worries and fears go away, it’s like he was magic. But to be fair, he pretty much was.

“Aw, come on pretty girl, cum on me, go on.” George groaned, feeling his own orgasm creep up on him, and before you know it, it wasn’t before too long both of you came together. You were shaking and moaning for quite a bit even after he pulled out and kissed your face all over. George laid on his side and brought the covers over both of you.

“Did that make you feel any better?” George asked, his hand holding yours, you look up at him with a smile.

“What was I upset about again?”

THIS WAS KINDA CHEESY BUT WOOOOAH I LOVED IT

#classic rock #classic rock imagines #george harrison #john lennon #paul mccartney #ringo starr #the beatles #the beatles x reader #60s #george harrison x reader #george harrison smut

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mashithamel · 5 months

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When I first heard Rand would be working in a sanitarium in season 2 and he’d have a friend named Errol, I was kind of annoyed. Why would they spend precious time in a location and on a character that aren’t in the books, when there is so much ground to cover and so many characters to introduce?

But they used this setting and this character so economically, and so efficiently, that I have been completely converted. They didn’t waste a moment of screentime for Errol, and in only a few minutes justified his creation as a terrific vehicle for exposition and to introduce so many important concepts.

As soon as Rand walks in the door we’re introduced to the Aiel War (specifically—I means we got Blood Snow last season but it wasn’t put in a lot of context). We get a personal view into how much Cairhein specifically was affected by it (the effects of which are mentioned a couple more times this season), as well as giving it a relative timeframe—Errol is much older than Rand, so it wasn’t just a few years ago.

We are reminded that Rand looks like the Aiel even with shaving his head, reminding us about his adoption and that he’s an outsider. Here in Cairhein, even when people know and like him, the citizens are likely to have a gut reaction of surprise or fear when they first see him, something that may contribute to his difficulties ruling the place down the road. We are reminded that they are considered fierce fighters, and introduce that their women also fight and are considered deadly.

We are introduced to sword forms! We didn’t get Lan training Rand in either season (although it sounds like we will finally get it next season!), so it’s nice to learn he’s been getting at least some introductory training if he’s going to be a blademaster eventually. It’s also very consistent with the books for Rand to take advantage of opportunities to learn whatever and from whoever he can. We’re reminded about Rand’s heron-marked blade (before it does its important thing and melts in episode 8) and make the connection that it is carried by blademasters.

So importantly, we see how kind Rand is. He clearly knows and likes this crazy old man who’s calling for the guards. He speaks to him kindly without a trace of annoyance that they’re having the same conversation they do everyday (anyone who cares for people with dementia can probably understand that is really hard at times!). He puts Errol’s shoes on for him. This isn’t quite washing feet, which Biblically speaking is an act of humbling one’s self, but it’s definitely the sort of thing you wouldn’t expect the Promised One to be doing routinely. Right now it’s his job to do, but he does it with the care and compassion you might have for an elderly family member. He defends and comforts Errol when another employee is cruel. At heart Rand is kind and loving. Killing, ordering executions, sending people into danger where some will definitely die are all things he will need to do as Dragon Reborn, and his struggle with this will inform a large part of his arc over the next few seasons.

We see the inequality of the Cairheinin system (and then more blatently at the dinner party). Unsurprisingly the Cairheinin separate their health care by wealth and power, and it sounds like the poor ones may not even have a garden to walk around in? The Two Rivers doesn’t really have this type of inequality, and some of the first things Rand does in the books as the Dragon Reborn is make the elite start treating the poor and lower classes more fairly.

And of course we get PTSD and mental illness. Both PTSD and fears of going mad are important for Rand later, so this early introduction helps define the stakes for him.

It was such a short scene, and I’m sure there are other details those with more skill could expand on (the horse that Rand sets upright? the color palate?). I just really appreciated how much the writers crammed into an original character to help lay the groundwork not just for this season but for seasons (hopefully) to come.

#wheel of time #rand al’thor #errol #wot on prime #wot book spoilers #rambling thoughts

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literallyaflame · 3 months

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Adrian. For fuck sake. You can't tease a death-faking story and then not deliver. Please man, I'm begging you.

this involves more than just my dumb ass, i don’t know how to tell it while preserving the identity of those involved? i’ll give it a shot, i think it’ll be okay

i was a sad, sickly fuck in high school. i completed my diploma through an online program because i had a plethora of medical issues. i was also fairly isolated at the time. didn’t have a lot going on. mentally ill, agoraphobic, the works

but i was also—somehow—a theater kid, and thus knew some of the most extroverted people on the planet. one of them made it her mission to reintegrate my dumb ass into society after many months of isolation, and thus invited me to go out with her and her friends. i was like. sure, whatever. (it took her a while to break me down but that’s a different story)

so she puts me in this group chat. and i meet this girl. let’s call her angela. angela was like. are you—fuck i gotta give myself a fake name too. “are you alex van rosendale?” i was like. “yeah that’s me.” she was like “from fuckface high school? with george glass?” i said “yeah sure am”

she was not normal about this information. i was confused. turns out, though, she was relatively new to the friend group. she was ALSO, crucially, dating a dude who used to have a crush on me (i’m a guy now but i was Girl Presenting at the time) in high school. and by “had a crush on me” i mean “stalked me.” he stalked me. like, he showed up my house to watch me sleep through my window. several times. he only stopped because i threatened him with violence (wasn’t gonna call the cops, we were all poor as fuck, this is the south, acab etcetera)

we met. she looked at me like i was a space alien. i looked at her like she was. a confused person, because she was. i foolishly thought “omg this makes perfect sense, her boyfriend probably said that i was a dumb slut who refused to get with him. or something. who knows.”

well

a few weeks later she says to me “hey can i talk to you”

turns out, for the entire YEAR-and-then-some they’d been dating, this dude pretended i was his dead ex girlfriend. according to him—we dated, we were in love, and then i died horribly in a car accident. he wept over my photos in front of her. he showed her my unused Facebook account that just had, like, one post saying “i miss you” (from when i left school on account of sickness disease). he used my legal human name. the works.

i have no idea how he thought this would not backfire eventually, but after a while, she happened to meet me. through sheer, dumb luck

somehow they didn’t break up over this (bro idk) but they broke up later, thank god. that’s the end of the “some dude faked my death” story but how fucked up is that

#kinda drunk rn

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somber-sapphic · 1 year

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Oooh Im loving the new prompts!! :)) Anychance of seeing 22A with the ‘Not A Word’ sickie type please? :))

Maybe seeing Nat not being allowed to attend a mission and being pretty annoyed about it? :))

100% Not Sick

Natasha is 100% not sick. She couldn't get sick. That was just not a thing that happened. Until it did.

Hope you like it @goldenempyrean!

Word Count: 1318

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“Romanoff, go back to your room, I don’t have time to argue with you right now.” Steve snapped, frowning at the red-nosed assassin. She was quite literally pouting, her typical tough glare replaced by a cute little scowl. You were half smiling, hiding your slight smirk behind your interlaced fingers.

“Who the hell do you think I am Rogers? You don’t dictate my damn life, I can handle one fucking mission!” She yelled back, her voice barely above a whisper. You could tell that her throat must hurt by the way she talked and the slight tug on the edges of her lips as she swallowed.

Steve took a step towards her and she naturally did the same, both of them settling into what could be considered a fighting stance. Neither was willing to back down and you couldn’t actually guess who would win.

Natasha was sick, probably feverish and obviously miserable, but said misery was probably fueling her rage. Steve on the other hand was in tip top shape, well rested and physically unable to contract an illness.

You could see Tony’s eyes boring into you, he wanted you to intervene, but you really didn’t want to get into this. Plus, you were mildly interested. You were pretty sure that Steve would back down but that would only be because Natasha was sick and he didn’t want to beat up a sick woman. Which the redhead would ultimately see as a challenge and would probably end up doing something stupid. Like attack him stupid.

“Agent Romanoff, stand down. Go back to your room or I will have you escorted.” You wrinkled your nose at the Captain's words, leaning back in your chair to watch the chaos unfold. After nearly two years of dating the woman you knew better than to step in when she was like this, it would only embarrass her and then she’d fight you on not being sick and it would just end up with Steve and Nat back at each other’s throats.

“What did you just say to me? You’ll have me escorted? How exactly do you expect that? Who do you honestly think can take me?” She ended her seething rant with a harsh sneeze against her elbow. It sounded gross and you were like 80% sure that it was incredibly contagious. If Cap could get sick, he would have.

“Look Rogers, you worry about you, I’ll worry about me. Right now, I’m worried about catching a villain.” Their faces were inches apart now, Natasha’s glistening red nose practically against Steve’s chin. The height difference was quite amusing. He rolled his eyes and stepped back, falling back into a more relaxed position.

“That’s what I thought. Y/l/n, come on. We’re going.” She ordered, snapping her fingers at you. If she were in any sort of reasonable mental state you would’ve called her on it, but she was in boss mode. She also hadn’t slept in probably three nights, she was definitely running a fever and her stiff movements indicated that all of limbs hurt.

You stood, plastering a gentle smile on your face. She stepped away, looking almost like a cornered cat.

“C’mon love, let's go. I’ll make some tea.” You coaxed, slipping your hand into hers. She sneered at you, eyes widening in panic. You knew that she was new to this, that she hated being sick and she hated showing weakness even more. Now you were in front of the whole team, being watched. Of course, no one was really watching the two of you, but she was still humiliated.

“Y/n,” She started, her tone warning. You squeezed her hand gently and began to tug her away from the conference room.

“Just let me.” You dragged her out of the room, ignoring the sounds of protest and her tugging away from you. Normally you’d let her just do her thing, especially when it came to a mission, but there was just no way that you could let this slide. There was a fair chance that Natasha would get herself killed if she went on that mission.

“Y/n, are you kidding me? One, I’m not sick. Two, I can handle myself!” She grumbled, sounding slightly defeated. You looked back and shrugged, giving her a little smile.

“Come on, it’ll be nice! Plus, I’m exhausted. I didn’t get much sleep last night. Maybe we could just watch a few movies in bed?” You suggested, pulling her gently into your room. She huffed as she sat on the edge of the bed, crossing her arms over her chest in a show of anger.

You sat beside her and squeezed her shoulders, leaning over to kiss her neck. She grumbled her unhappiness again and she frowned at the floor, seemingly ready to stab you. There were countless ways that she could kill you just sitting there, but she never would. She loved you too much for that.

“Please Natty? Just for a little while.” You pleaded, beginning to undo her tight braid. She sniffled quietly and sagged against you, her facade faltering just slightly. You gently removed a few bobby pins and laid a hand on her forehead, humming your disapproval.

“I’m not-”

“I know honey. Lets get changed into something more comfortable, yeah?” She nodded and put her head on your shoulder, seeming to accept that she wasn’t feeling well. It was like as long as you didn’t say anything she was willing to do what she needed to get better. But there was probably no way that you could get her to take any medicine, that would be a later issue.

It took a bit of coaxing but you managed to get Natasha into a soft, cotton t-shirt and flannel pants. You weren’t exactly sure why she was so insistent on wearing her uniform, but for some reason she was very angry with your attempts to help her. Which of course, made sense. You had fallen for the most stubborn woman you could find.

When you were finally both changed and laying down, Natasha had her head against your chest, finally giving in. Her anger had changed to utter misery though you still wouldn’t be saying anything about her illness. You knew better than that.

“What do you want to watch, love?” You asked, running your fingers through her curly hair. She shrugged and mumbled a response into your shirt, cuddling a little bit closer. You looked down at her, wondering if you’d even need to turn the TV on to get her to fall asleep.

“How about Parks and Rec?” It was one of her secret comfort shows that only you and Clint knew about. She was supposed to like action movies and sometimes she was a fan of hockey, but she loved a good comedy. She was especially a fan of Ron Swanson. She enjoyed his blunt attitude.

“M’kay.” She hummed, letting out a deep sigh. You turned on a random episode, the room flickering in soft blue light, but you weren’t interested in the show. All you could focus on was the sleepy redhead laying on your chest, making soft unintelligible sounds.

“M’not sick.” She said after five minutes, jolting you back into reality. You chuckled quietly and kissed her hairline, unhappy with the fever that you felt radiating from her skin. The next time she woke up you’d get her some medicine.

“Of course not. But even 100% not sick people need to sleep, right?”

You felt her smile against your skin and you smiled back, entranced by her beauty. You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you felt your eyes closing, but you knew that Natasha had fallen asleep long before you did. It wasn’t like you loved your girlfriend being sick, but it was nice to hold her. It was nice to play caretaker instead of the other way around.

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sygneth · 11 months

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I am not even sure if I will be posting this (though, if you're reading this, I did), but, nevertheless, I have a few points about Jean that I have to make. He is no saint. He is an asshole and I’m not gonna pretend that he is not. But there is so much more to it.

Let me start with the most obvious. He is said to have clinically diagnosed depression, with, apparently, no distinctive source, and, from what he says, we may assume he is under some sort of psychiatric supervision.

He was diagnosed seven years ago. Diagnosed with depression, which probably means he’s been dealing with it for a good while longer, only at a certain moment he decided to seek help/had an attempt/any other circumstance that lead this man to get a diagnosis. He is now 34, seven years earlier he’d be 27.

The reasons for such unspecified depression may be many, from some kind of a rare neurological defect causing one’s brain to be incapable of properly producing/transmitting/I’m-not-a-biologist-neither-is-English-my-first-language-so-I’m-not-gonna-dig-into-neurological-dysfunctions-further-but-you-get-the-point, serotonin, through a burnout, all the way to having other, undiagnosed disorders/illnesses as *checks Luiga’s tweets* Schizoid PD (I am not convinced that what Jean presents is a 100% textbook SPD example, rather SPD traits/behavior patterns? But I’m no specialist and even if I were, it’s hard to diagnose someone based on those few dialogue lines) and codependency tendencies. The doctors didn’t diagnose any other disorder, or at least he never mentions it, but looking at the world of Elysium, those disorders may not yet have been widely recognized, especially if not presenting themselves in the most typical ways/high-functioning. And Jean tends to be high functioning despite his issues. Yet, I assume that in Elysium, and Jamrock especially, the access and quality of psychological and psychiatric services are poor and probably limited. Not to mention education on the matter, which is probably low if not near none. (Just looking at how is alcoholism treated by *everyone* there, or the short mention of McCoy’s brother gives me a good 90’s/early 00s Eastern Europe vibe of mental issues/disabilities public awareness.) Now, keep that in mind.

Alright. Next up: a codependent, close relationship with an alcoholic.

Jean’s relationship with Harry is an interesting one. I found this interesting research on codependency among spouses of alcoholics, that states codependency is related to, among others, SPD traits. (That’s an, uh, disclaimer? I was just curious how that two may coexist, but apparently, they do.)

Back to the main thought.

As someone who has been in a close, codependent relationship with a person who had problems with drinking, I can tell you something. It’s more than hard to get out of one. You see a person you care about do stupid, drunken, dangerous shit, you may be angry at them, you may be furious, yet you will still feel responsible for them in a way, and you will take that responsibility and try to get them out of the shit they got themselves into. I’ll say more, if that’s an actual relationship, you will feel social pressure that you are responsible for your partner’s behavior and you’re the one to take care of them. If it’s your work partner, then it’s highly probable you actually will be held responsible for their behavior, so you’re even more likely to clean up their mess. And when you help them out, because you care, because you feel like you should, because you don’t want to be “dicked” for it, maybe all of the above, they will be grateful and they will praise you and love you and even if you feel like this is not the right thing to do, you will do it again.

It takes a lot of work and self-awareness to get out of something like that healthily. And if you have some psychological knowledge, it also helps a lot, to understand how to deal with it. And the only way to do it, regardless healthy or not, is by setting boundaries. If you can healthily set them, and make the other person respect them, that’s very good. But if you have some other mental issues in addition to that, if you lack knowledge on how people’s behavior patterns work, on how exactly addictions work and that, you are maybe having some problems with generally understanding relationships between people, how and why they work, it’s very likely that you won’t be capable of setting those boundaries and enforce them to be respected. It’s very likely that one day, when something will happen and you will realize how toxic and unhealthy this relationship is for you, you will panic and you will start to do anything to get out of it, like a cat drowning in a well. That you will start acting cold, maybe even merciless from a certain perspective, maybe you won’t let yourself believe in their pleading and assurances of change, because you will know that letting yourself *feel* sympathy for the person you had this relationship with may lead to spiraling back into the wheel of codependency. Maybe you have already tried this, and letting yourself trust them only led you back to the point where you started and maybe this time, you don’t want it to end up this way.

And you know what? There is nothing wrong with trying to ensure your mental well-being. “Before approaching the casualty, always make sure the area is safe.” YES because if you’ll get hurt trying to help somebody, there will be one more person to help. The same applies to helping people get their life together. If you won’t have a good mindset to help them, if they will only drag you down, maybe the area isn’t safe?

Moving on.

Now, remember when I said that the level of social and psychological awareness seems very low in Elysium/Revachol/Jamrock? About that.

You know what else I see, looking at the Harry-Jean-Dora-Kim situation? A bunch of people with self-awareness in terms of emotion, and emotional development of teenagers, but problems of grown-up people. And they are not to blame, the system is to blame. Harry seems to be very self-conscious and connected to his emotions, yet for six years he couldn’t find a healthy way to get over a heartbreak. He has tendencies to act violently, to randomly drunk-phone his ex to harass her (I mean come on, he was asking her if she is naked), not to mention a tone of other things.

What happens here to Jean, is his situationship/best friend, whom yeah, he decided to ‘have a break’ with, immediately gets over it, and starts to go out with someone else. Taking, that this man has probably understanding of his emotions on a level of a high-schooler, he WILL be salty. He will be mad at Harry and he will be salty towards Kim when he sees them in Whirling. (Not to mention that it’s probably how they just roll in the precinct, and I’m quite sure that Harry’s and Jean’s relationship has been japing on and teasing each other, and as long as they both knew how it works, it was all good, compare: this post. So yes, Jean will be angry with Harry and he will act like an offended drama queen partially because that is just how their relationship dynamics probably looked like for the last two (at least!) years, and partially because he is an offended 16-year-old drama queen, whose bestie told her to fuck off and found a new (boy)friend.

Is it good, that grown-up men have the emotional capabilities of high schoolers? No. Should we blame them, or the fact that their system seemingly doesn’t provide any prevention, doesn’t promote awareness, or offer any proper healthcare for that matter? I’ll leave that to you.

To add to all this, yes, the RCM’s fucked up system, hierarchy, and mentality don’t help. Yes, it would be better for both Harry and Jean and probably Kim too, taking for his PTSD, to get the fuck out of there and live peaceful lives. But you know, changing your whole lifestyle isn’t easy. Understanding that maybe it’s better to leave now and that it doesn’t mean you’ve “wasted” your years is a process, a long and hard one. I had to learn this. My close ones had to learn this. Some of them still didn’t, especially, that where I come from, there is this CEE culture of not letting yourself fail with peace of mind. You got to do everything the best you can, you gotta do it 120%, and if not, you’re a rotten piece of shit. Looking at how Harry treats himself, Revachol seems to have this in common with Central-Eastern Europe as well.

Another thing, we don’t even know what Kim or Jean did before they joined the RCM, and Harry was a gym teacher. Thinking that it is easy to just switch your job in, again, a place with a CEE mentality, is a huge mistake. At the age of 40-odd years especially. In the 90s, especially. We don’t even know if Jean or Kim have any other education on their account, besides being cops, so changing professions would mean additional education, and for Harry, how many places, realistically, would take in a 45-year-old gym teacher?

I generally see that many people seem to forget/not understand how CE European mentality works, and it shows. I am glad that we live in a world where awareness of things such as homophobia, ableism, misogyny and else is common knowledge. But it wasn’t here, not even those 15 years ago. I remember people using names of dysfunctions and disabilities as slurs. Grown up people. I remember my classmates and my friend calling each other faggots or laughing at each other for not being gender-affirmative enough. Half of us turned out to be queer, and nobody had a problem with that, because in those times this kind of language wasn’t necessarily indicating someone’s worldview, it was just a bad habit, a very common one. I am more than happy, really, that we got rid of this kind of narrative and are more aware of the weight of a spoken word now. But when talking about past or settings that resemble this past, let’s please not forget that it DID look different and take that into consideration. Please.

Remembering what we derived from and what a great progress as a society we did is important, as it shows the way we managed to walk, but also reminds us of what people had to deal with. And is a warning, because now we’re probably still all doing things that in 30 years will be so, so wrong.

So concluding this ridiculously long consciousness stream, I love you, DE fandom. Now, I have an interview to watch (probably not anymore) and a comic page to draw (as always). I’ll leave you with this here.

#deep dive into #jeanalysis #jeanposting #jean vicquemare #deep analysis #jean heron vicquemare #disco elysium #disco talking #disco elysium meta #if i only had this much passion to write my master thesis

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oddballwriter · 8 months

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Hi there! I love your work so much, tysm for writing for the Moon Knight fandom, it really keeps it alive 💕

I wanted to request a Marc Spector story with him having low self-esteem issues, thinking the reader could do better. Like, this man probably thinks he's a burden just because of his previous killing job ALONE, but he has multiple personalities too? He might be needing some reassurance either on a date or late night convo 🍝😴

Point of View

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Warnings: mentions of Marc's past and Marc having trouble with self-esteem. This man needs so much more love. He is a little stress ball and I want to squeeze him while also holding him gently

Author’s Snip: This has been sitting in my draft for days. I'll proof-read some other time.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Marc has a hard time accepting things like compliments and affection. It wasn’t hard to figure out why once he felt safe enough to become vulnerable. He know that he was deserving of such things, especially from you, his partner, who out of any person in the world should love and admire him the most. It was a given that you would call him handsome and say that you enjoy his company, along with letting him into your space.

Marc knew that he was allowed in your presence and that he deserved your praise and affection and that asking for such things was perfectly fine.

But there was always that part of him that’s stuck in the idea that he didn’t.

Marc was a man that was fucked up from practically the start. His rough and dark childhood, his life as a soldier and missionary, the fact that he had a mental illness that had him divide up his mind into different alters and personalities to keep him from having to deal with feeling something that was too intense for him rather than facing it himself. It felt a bit degrading to you. He was like this broken doll that had barely put itself back together that you took pity on and took in.

Of course he knew you weren’t that shallow. That you didn’t see him like that at all. You saw him as Marc and you were there for him, and Steven, and Jake when they were there instead. You never made any of them feel like they were a weight that you needed to hold and carry. You just talked to them.

There was a moment while on a date with Marc that something upset him and Steven came to the front. It was a bit of a surprise to you since you hadn’t really caught what could have made Marc upset but you just carried on and even complied when Steven asked if he could go home because he didn’t feel right with taking over you and Marc’s date. After you had gone home to your own place and did something else with your day, Marc called your phone and apologized for having done that and ruined the date. It took you a second to get him to calm down so that you could tell him that it was okay. “That was a reflex. I’m not going to shame you for having a reflex.” is what you said. Even if it was over the phone, Marc could hear the sincerity in your voice showing that you meant what you said.

You mean every word that you say to him. He knows that.

He knows your nights spent awake consoling him after a night terror or nightmare was genuine. That you gently shushing and petting his hair was voluntary and not a tactic used to silence a ruckus that was bothering you. That you're truly listening when he tells you some story or talks. That all your smiles are genuine when you look at him. That you were looking at him.

That you saw him. And everything about him. All the handsome and pretty parts along with all the nasty bits.

He knows that you love him.

#moon knight x reader #moonknight x reader #moon knight #moonknight #marc spector #marc spector x reader

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riaraa · 5 months

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Analyzing the Kiara and Rafe Moments in "Outer Banks: Dead Break" by Jay Coles

Over the weekend, I read the book Outer Banks: Dead Break by Jay Coles. I bought this book because I was happy to see that we would be getting a story from Kiara’s POV and I found early excerpts for the book that name-dropped Rafe as one of the competitors in the surf competition that Kiara signs up for. As a riara shipper, I had to read it to see if there would be any interactions between them (and I was not disappointed)!

Fellow riara fans, enjoy!

This post is GIANT, so everything is below the line!

Summary of the Book from the Dustjacket:

The waves are off the hook, and Pope and the other Pogues are betting big on Kiara blowing the Kook competition out of the water. What could possibly go wrong? It's summer in the OBX, and a big surfing competition is bringing in pro surfers from around the world to Kildare Island, along with plenty of Kooks and tourists. Meanwhile, a storm has delivered massive waves, making for perfect—yet challenging-surfing conditions. But Kiara, who has been training, is up for the challenge. As for Pope, he just started his summer internship at the city morgue—his dream job! When Kiara strikes up a flirtation with one of the pro surfers, Pope, John B, and JJ can't help but get a little jealous at the attention she receives. Meanwhile, the visiting surfers are treating Pope's dad, Heyward, like some kind of hero, but he won't explain why. When one of the professional surfers washes up dead on the beach, everyone assumes he got crushed by a wave. But Pope, Kiara, and the rest of the Pogues aren't so sure…

Quoted Moments and My Thoughts:

“The sound of heavy metal rips through the air. Rafe Cameron drives onto the sand in his expensive Jeep, multiple surfboards hanging out the back. I shake my head as he parks, pulls his t-shirt off, and heads toward the water, board at his side.” (Page 32)

Rafe's first mention is during Kiara's POV when she is at the beach with a professional surfer named Gabriel who came to OBX for the surfing competition. Is it now canon that Rafe is a heavy metal fan? Because I was NOT expecting that, but I totally love it. I like that the author wrote that he drives a Jeep, because that's what I have him drive in my riara fics (I can't remember if it's canon in the show or not). Kiara doesn't say much about Rafe in her thoughts during this moment but she saw him shirtless (which he only is once in the show I think), so a win is a win in my book.

“I’d heard that Rafe was planning to enter the competition, too. Ward has probably bought Rafe lessons with the best surf instructors money could buy from the time he could walk. He’s a decent surfer, but next to Cole [a professional surfer who is in OBX for the surf competition] and Darren [a professional surfer who is in OBX for the surf competition], he looks like a littel kid beside giants. I hope that’s not how I’ll look next to the pros in a few days. Unlike Rafe, I am entirely self-taught.” (Page 32)

I find this moment interesting because despite both being rich and living on Figure 8, Rafe and Kiara live very different lives. A big plot point in this book is how her parents don't support her dreams of becoming a professional surfer and I find it interesting that Ward is supporting Rafe's because that doesn't seem like something he would do in the show. It makes me think Rafe wasn't as bad at this point with his mental illness and drug abuse. I also like that the author used Rafe as a talking point for Kiara to compare herself to, no matter how small (we are hardly scratching the surface here), because I think there is a lot to compare between them as characters.

“I see Ward and Rafe Cameron saunter in [to The Wreck, where Kiara is waitressing] and join Darren and Alan’s [Darren’s manager] table. By the time I bring Alan and Darren their (raw) oysters, Ward is deep into his pitch for Alan to take on Rafe as a client. I try to listen in. I gotta admit, I’m jealous [...] it must be nice to have a parent who supports your dreams.” (Page 43)

This paragraph expands on my above thoughts. I find it super interesting that both Rafe and Kiara have dreams of becoming professional surfers. The rest of the Pogues aren't the same way. JJ even states, "This is why I don't think surfing should be competitive. It's all about the experience, not the medals." (Page 8). Which makes Kiara and Rafe the two competitors of characters we know that have the same dreams with surfing, and Kiara even states that, knowingly. It's also fascinating to me that Kiara would admit to being jealous of Rafe and his relationship with Ward, because once the canon of the show begins, we definitely know that would all go down the drain.

“Not only do I feel like a failure, but I also embarrassed myself in front of everyone: Gabriel, my friends, Sarah, Rafe and people from school. The entire island just saw me royally screw up. They all saw that my parents are right, surfing is a waste of my time. I’m no better than Rafe, another Kook wannabe who’s never going to travel the world surfing professionally.” (Page 86)

This moment takes place after Kiara falls off her surfboard during the competition. I just like that she name dropped Rafe, because you would usually think he is irrelevant to her, but right now, it matters to her that he saw her wipe out. AND THEN, she compares herself to him. Although, this comparison confuses me. She calls Rafe a Kook wannabe, when he is the Kookiest-of-all-Kooks. Does she think on some level he is pretending with his life status, like she is? And then she groups herself in with him, never going anywhere with their shared dream of becoming professional surfers.

And later on, in Pope's POV, JJ texts him saying, "Rafe fell almost as soon as he stood on his board. He drove off so fast he left his fancy surfboard behind." (Page 92). This makes me wonder why the author had Kiara and Rafe parallel each other even further by having them both fall during the competition and then storming off in anger over their failure.

“Rafe is here for questioning. He’s under eighteen, which means the police aren't allowed to ask him anything without a parent present.” (Page 121)

This moment is from Pope's POV, but I thought it was interesting enough to note. He says Rafe is under eighteen years old, but this since this is the summer after Kiara's Kook Year where she was a freshman at the Kook Academy, that means Rafe is either a school year younger in this story compared to show canon, or his birthday is really late in the year for his age. So, I am assuming he is seventeen in the current timeline of this story, while the Pogues are fifteen. Although John B is old enough to drive the Twinkie, so it must be passed July for him to be sixteen. Overall, this make's it a canon timeline where Rafe and Kiara's age difference is two years, instead of three.

“Kie’s the sort of person who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, who believes that deep down, no one is beyond redemption.” (Page 128)

This is another moment from Pope's POV that I thought was really sweet. I think it is a great note about Kiara as a character. Pope later then notes that Kiara is looking at Sarah like she did something horrible (the Pogues don't know what happened between them, like in the show) and despite what Sarah did, Kiara forgives her. It makes me wonder how her and Rafe's relationship would pan out if they talked more.

On Page 154, when the Pogues (plus Gabriel, the surfer who Kiara has a crush on) are trying to figure out what happened to Cole (a professional surfer who was found murdered and also Gabriel's best friend), Kiara simultaneously defends and condemns Rafe when they look into going to him for answers since he was at the beach where Cole got murdered the morning before it happened. Rafe had gone to the police with Ward to tell them everything he knew and Pope overheard, but the Pogues think he is hiding something.

Defending: “Unless [Rafe] was lying," I interject. "Think about it: Ward was trying to get Darren’s manager to represent Rafe. Ward would never let Rafe say anything that might turn Alan against him—and implicating Alan’s star client [Darren] in a murder is hardly a way to stay on Alan’s good side.” Condemning: “In fact, maybe that’s why Rafe told the police he’d been surfing at the Evergreen Bayou to begin with—so that he could specifically say that he hadn’t seen Darren there. Maybe Rafe thought that protecting Alan’s star client would get Alan to rep him, despite his mediocre surfing skills.”

The way Kiara phrases how Ward and Rafe went to the police is important and shows she is much more observant than she thinks. She says that Ward would never let Rafe say anything. She has already noted the control Ward has over Rafe. She defends Rafe in this moment saying he might have not been able to say anything that he knows because Ward is more worried about his shot with Alan as a manager.

She then gives Rafe the power in the scenario by saying he might have thought that protecting Darren would give him a shot at having Alan as a manager. I find it interesting that she thought of Rafe in both ways.

Pages 174-185 are a GOLD MINE for riara shippers. During this sequence, Kiara infiltrates a Kook party to find Rafe and lure him outside so that the Pogues (and Gabriel) can interrogate him about the murder of Cole. I have noted my favorite passages:

“Okay, then how’re we going to get Rafe?” “We’re not going to get him,” I correct. “I am.” (Page 174)

The Pogues had pulled up to a party where they know all the Kooks are, but haven't figured out how to get Rafe. When JJ asks how they are going to do it, Kiara volunteers herself. When I tell you I almost passed out when reading this moment because I was so excited! So dramatic!

“The fact that this party is exactly the same as the one I went to months ago means I know exactly where to find Rafe. Rafe doesn’t go for plastic cups and cheap beer. He’ll be upstairs, in Ryan’s dad’s study. Last fall, Ryan called it the ‘inner sanctum’ and invited Sarah and me there.” (Page 176)

Once again, Kiara keeps noting things about Rafe that you would think she wouldn't care to remember. To me, this shows how observant of him she was during her time at the Kook Academy. And I want to know what happened when Kiara and Sarah would party alongside him!

“But at least tonight, I'm turning the power dynamic around, using the fact that [the Kook guys at the party] see me as an object, as pleasing to the eye as wall sconces and chandeliers against them. I’m using it to get what I want. And what I want is for Rafe to leave with me. Just the thought—I want Rafe to leave with me—is enough to make me gag…” (Page 179)

And what I want is for Rafe to leave with me. I AM SCREAMING, WHAT IN THE FANFIC. I love how disgusted over it Kiara is. She is a girl on a mission.

“I see Rafe and walk over to him. I can already smell the alcohol on him, like a strong odor, which tells me he’s been drinking for a while. It’s not unusual for Rafe; I’ve known him long enough to know that this is how he forgets he is Ward’s son.” (Page 179)

This paragraph made my jaw DROP. First off, it's sad to see how drunk Rafe is and then KIARA SAYS WHY HE DRINKS LIKE HE DOES. It's because of Ward and he wants to forget. She knows this information about him and I want to know how and why! It shows even further how observant she is of him. She has noted things that others fail to see. And this is why I think their relationship dynamic is important and interesting.

“Hi, Rafe,’ I say. “Hi . . . Kie,’ Rafe says (well, slurs).” (Page 179)

HE CALLS HER KIE! But, what was that pause? Did Rafe need a moment to remember who she was? Or was it surprise at seeing her? I NEED TO KNOW. I am interpreting it as surprise at seeing her and this part also emphasizes even more how drunk Rafe is; if he is slurring a simple "hi" and name.

"I sit on the shiny leather couch beside Rafe and ask if I can have a sip of his drink. He hands me a crystal tumbler etched with diamond shapes. I take a sip of the brown liquid, recognizing the flavor of good Kentucky bourbon, but I act like I’ve never had something so strong before. Rafe laughs as I pretend to have trouble swallowing. "We can get you something more your speed, little girl," he promises.” (Pages 179-180)

Rafe is WHIPPED. Immediately handing over his drink when she asks? Also, how cute, they have the same taste in alcohol lol.

AND THEN HE CALLS HER LITTLE GIRL? LIKE SIR WHAT? I seriously need to know what was going through the authors mind when he chose that pet name. In this story, Rafe is at most 2 years older than Kiara so it's not like he is way older than her or something.

“Then he literally snaps at a girl sitting on the other side of the coffee table to pass me her drink.” (Page 180)

Like, damn Rafe show your favoritism some more, please? LOL. So demanding when Kiara is in need (and this is demonstrated in show canon, too, with the entire trapped in Singh's mansion plot-line).

“I sip my sticky drink and lean into Rafe, sneaking a peek at his hand. He has two pair. ‘Fold,” I whisper. “Why?” I nod at Ryan across the table. “Ryan’s got something big.” “How can you tell?” “See the way he’s tapping his thigh?” Rafe nods. “He did it in algebra last semester when he cheated on his test. He knew he was going to get an A no matter what.” Rafe looks at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. I can feel his gaze taking in my tank top and short shorts.” (Page 180)

This is like the longest and most normal conversation Rafe and Kiara have and it literally melts my heart. They are just playing poker together and THEN we get the trope of character A looking at character B and seeing them for the first time after a pivotal moment in their relationship?? Thank you Jay Coles (author)! Also, Rafe is turned on by a smart woman, confirmed!

“Whatever the lady says,” he promises, placing his cards facedown on the table. When Ryan reveals a full house, Rafe gives me a high five.” (Page 181)

Can you see Rafe initiating a hive five with anyone? This is so heartwarming to me that he wanted to high five her out of genuine excitement. I would love to see Drew Starkey and Madison Bailey act of this entire scene, it would be so entertaining.

“Looks like I found my lucky charm,” he says. “Kiara Carrera, the half-Kook wonder.” I pretend being called a half Kook doesn’t offend me. That’s how Rafe and his friends thought of me for the year I went to school with them: not entirely a Pogue or a Kook.” (Page 181)

First off, it's so cute that he calls her his lucky charm. BUT THEN I like the deep dive into Kiara's character here. I'm surprised she is offended by something Rafe said, but it goes to show how the half-life she is living really effects her. She is adamant she is a Pogue, yet still feels in-between. And it's interesting that she notes that Rafe had previous thoughts about her. Did he explicitly tell her this, or was this something she concluded based on his actions? I wish she expanded more on her thoughts to give concrete evidence. Because that means that she and Rafe must have communicated at least a little bit during her Kook Year and I want to know it all!

“I advise Rafe for a couple more hands. But on the fourth hand, when he has three of a kind, I tell Rafe, “Go all in.” He grins at me. “Whatever my lucky charm says.” I have to keep myself from shuddering when he refers to me as his anything. Rafe pushes all his chips into the center of the table. Ryan calls. Rafe doesn't notice that Ryan's tapping his thigh again.” (Page 181)

Rafe is so oblivious to Kiara's actually feelings and I think it's so funny. He is just having a good time. Also, I love that it's canon in the show and this book that he grins at Kiara. I also think it's interesting how Kiara makes note that Rafe isn't noticing the clues she pointed out earlier. Is it because he is drunk?

"Crap!" Rafe shouts, throwing his cards down. He turns to me angrily. "Why'd you tell me to go all in?" I swallow the urge to point out that he has no right to be angry at me. I was just giving him advice; I'm not actually a magic lucky charm. But instead I say, "Look on the bright side." "What bright side?" Rafe pouts. “Now we can get out of here.” Rafe’s scowl twists into a smile as he catches my meaning. He grabs my hand and pulls me up to stand, like I’m a prize instead of an actual person.” (Pages 181-182)

I honestly wish Kiara could have called him out, because I would love to know his reaction, but I understand she had to keep playing along to accomplish her goal. BUT! We have a full confirmation that Rafe has the hots for Kiara!!!

“No way,” I shake my head. “I’m not hooking up where anyone could walk in. Your sister’s around. You know what she’ll say if she sees us together?” I make a face like I’m horrified. “I don’t care what she says.” (Page 182)

I think it's an interesting note that Rafe doesn't care about Sarah's thoughts on him and Kiara.

“I lead Rafe down the stairs and out the front door, rolling my eyes as soon as my back is turned. Boys like him are so easy.” (Page 182)

In this entire book, I do not remember a time where Rafe's love life is brought up. The Pogues joke about Topper and how he messed around with every Kook girl before getting with Sarah, but Rafe is a mystery. And, there is no mention of any girls sitting near him when Kiara found him in the study. It makes me wonder how much of this is that Rafe is easy, or that if he actually just really like Kiara.

“Where are we going, gorgeous?” Rafe asks. He holds my hand, his fingers playing on my inner wrist in a way I’m sure he thinks is sexy and suggestive. “You’ll see,” I promise and Rafe grins, his teeth white in the moonlight.” (Pages 182-183)

RIARA HOLDING HANDS!

JJ stuffs a rag in Rafe’s mouth to keep him from shouting. “Where’d you find that?” I ask. “The floor of the Twinkie,” JJ answers, which is almost enough to make me feel sorry for Rafe. I don’t think John B has ever actually cleaned the van.” (Page 183)

Kiara expresses no regret or guilt over kidnapping Rafe except that he might have a dirty ass rag in his mouth lol.

“And also? Don’t be so stupid as to leave a party with a girl who’s inexplicably interested in you after never having given you the time of day.” Rafe’s eyes go wide as it dawns on him that my flirting was all an act.” (Page 184)

Rafe has literally been gagged and thrown into the Twinkie. Is being held by Pope and JJ and JUST NOW REALIZED THAT THE FLIRTING WAS ALL FAKE? Oh yeah, he is down bad for Kiara.

"Rafe continues, his breathing slowing. “He said there wasn’t enough money in the world for him to represent me. I didn’t want my dad to know that I couldn’t close the deal with Alan.” (Page 191)

This is from Pope's POV as they interrogate Rafe, but I thought it was interesting to note that we can see bits and pieces of how much Rafe looks up to Ward and doesn't want to disappoint him, which will eventually lead to their turbulent relationship in the show.

They like to complain that I left them for Kook Academy last year (as if my parents gave me any choice in the matter), but the truth is, when they saw that I was actually making friends with some of my classmates, the guys pulled away from me, not the other way around.” (Page 194)

THIS MOMENT. This is probably the most important one in this entire book because it completely contradicts the show canon. In the show, we are meant to believe that Kiara left the Pogues in favor of her Kook friends and that is what caused a rift between them and explains why she is so loyal to them, to make up for leaving them. But, NO they left HER. This will change how I look at all of John B, JJ, and Pope's interactions with Kiara when I watch the show. She had wanted to kill herself over being at the Kook Academy, and now I wonder if she felt this way after the Pogues cut her off? My heart breaks for Kiara. Her best friends she grew up with turned their backs on her when she was forced into going to another school and happened to be friends with some of her classmates. Nobody wants to be alone at a new school. And it's probably why her relationship with Sarah hurt so much, too. Because Sarah had been her one true friend at the time, and Sarah left her, too. It changes how I view all the show dynamics, now. I wish we could dive more into Kiara's Kook year because it's such a pivotal part of her character but we only get glimpses (in the show and the book).

“[Pope] wasn’t holding Rafe tightly on purpose. He didn’t want to hurt him. Realizing that makes me love Pope more than I already do.” (Page 195)

This moment is definitely meant to focus on how Kiara admires how good of a person Pope is, but I think it can also be viewed that she didn't want Rafe to be hurt, either. And it's interesting because JJ loved hurting Rafe in this scene stating "I can do this all night and all day." as he laughs (Page 190), which probably explains why Rafe has it out for JJ n the show which leads to them fighting.

“Thanks to Rafe...” (Page 196)

This moment is so small and means nothing, but I just thought it was funny that Kiara would ever be "thanking" Rafe.

"And I'm not here to debate the finer points of toxic masculinity--" “That’s a first,” I interject, yawning. She’d somehow managed to fit in Rafe’s kidnapping.” (Page 201).

This is from Pope's POV after Kiara as snuck through his bedroom window. I just think it's funny that Kiara did use Rafe's kidnapping to give the Pogues (and by proxy, Rafe) a lesson on toxic masculinity lol.

“Tonight, I was barely home long enough to take a shower and change my clothes—my tank top and cutoffs need to be de-Rafed in the washing machine, ew…” (Pages 209-210).

AND this is the last mention of Rafe in the book and it's the funniest.

Conclusion

This book was a MAJOR win for Rafe and Kiara lovers because it confirms Rafe's liking for her further. It also gives us background on their relationship. Rafe still likes her after she lied and kidnapped him? This man is in love with her. This book further proves that the creators/writers/showrunners of OBX just love having Rafe and Kiara interact! They must see the potential if they keep teasing it! We can only hope for more moments in s4!

Let me know your thoughts! ❤️

#riara #rafe x kiara #rafe cameron x kiara carrera #rafe cameron #kiara carrera #outer banks: dead break #outer banks analysis #outer banks meta #rafe obx #kiara obx #MJ metas

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