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mollyolikeme · 3 years

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Any Way The Wind Blows SPOILERS

Okay. Here are my ramblings in no particular order. Proceed if you care and/or dare. They a lot.

- I am emo shit. (I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. Brilliant.)

- Honestly the ‘break up’ is important even though it HURTS

- Holding the wand together. I CRY. Knocking foreheads. STAP.

-The first real snowbaz conversation during the make-up. Was just …......… FAN-TAST-TIC. Just real conversation and being patient and listening. Like they were both being so SOFT and UGH!

- Fuck yes the emotional intimacy!

- The first night in bed… like simons trauma and love and how they interact and how he can’t cross the lines right away but wants to and he’s just trying to process NEVER having to ever make a decision for himself and think about his own emotions in his life. Boy thought he was never gonna grow up. He thought he was gonna be dead! UGH. He just. Can’t handle the emotions and I FUCKING RELATE!

- SNOWBAZ MAKING OUT. GIMME MORE.

- Snowbaz hunting that first time and the conversation about simons sexuality (no label!) and further talking about how Simon thought (but really never thought!) about his relationship with Agatha

- The fact Simon wanted to JUMP ON baz and never thought past that

- Simon telling baz he would let him drink him. Yup. Good boy. Good bois.

- The mutual OBSESSION they have for each other!

- NANDOS! Yes sir.

- Penny and Shepard. Penny and Shepard. Penny and Shepard.

- Penelope deserves SO much. She is such an amazing friend/family to Simon AND to baz. Ugh their LOVE for each other.

- I think Shepard is v good for her

- YES bitch get him out of that engagement!

- Shep reaching slowly for penny and then penny just moving his hand to reach her cheek. I CAN NOT!

- KISS HIM! You go Penny! GET. IT.

- DOMESTIC SNOWBAZ DOMESTIC SNOWBAZ DOMESTIC SNOWBAZ

- IKEA trip. Just get out. That’s my dream for them.

- MORE KISSING. KEEP KISSING. I LIVE FOR IT.

- every damn time Snowbaz goes to lady Ruth Salisbury’s. I love it!

- I love lady Ruth! Like YES grandmama you are an open minded and smart powerful woman!

- SNOWBAZ MAKING OUT AT WATFORD! DO IT AGAIN!

- TEAM SOLVING PROBLEMS! YES TEAM.

- Smith smith Richards can accept my foot in his ass. I agree with Baz’s reactions. Like yes son.

- I get simons too honestly. For him as a character, as the guy that he is, ya know.

- Smith smith is a HILARIOUS and TERRIBLE name.

- LOL. What a scammer though eh?

- CULTS! Why is it ALWAYS cults these days!!!

- The whole bring the magic up and then burn it out thing smith does. Like fuck you. Why do you think your special because you made up a new spell?! Lots of people do that!

- The kind of first time?!?!?!?!?!!?!?! MY PRECIOUS BOYS. YOU DESERVE THAT AND MORE IM SO HAPPY!

- Fuckin GET. IT.

- The conversations the communication! KEEP IT UP MY GUYS!

- They just love each other so COMPLETELY. Despite everything and especially INCLUDING each other’s ‘flaws’ (I weep with joy for it)

- Honestly the Britishism’s in this book were prime!

- GETTIN THE TEAM BACK TOGETHER! Legit gives me ENERGY!

- GREAT Watford action. Simon being Simon like ‘nope imma lie to keep my people safe’

- His people then being pissed at him. lol yup

- Fuck you smith you deserve to be embarrassed by Simon!

- You look like a fool because you ARE a FOOL!

- GO PIPPA! Spell em like you see em! LIAR!

- KAY. The character growth for all of our mains …….. you guys I caaaaaant, stop it! (Don’t ever stop. Keep improving yourselves you guys are magical beauty’s)

-omg and AGATHA. girl you get your fucking story how you like it. this is about you now! your life is your life and you get to do what you want with it! Herd goats and just chill! uhuh uhuh!

- WERK HEADMISTRESS BUNCE. YOU ARE QUEEN AND YOU ARE SMARTER THAN EVERYONE!

- Simons true nature just being protective boy to people who are assholes to him. Yes sir you are too precious.

- V interesting that rainbow gave us an open ended thing with smith. Like at least somewhat. I’m assuming the coven will be like ‘yea you are a fraud and we will not have you around people anymore’ but also she leaves it with him still being delusional and like ‘I chosen one. Uhuh dat me’ … ya fuckin’ knob. You aren’t it Smith!

- ALSO WOAH WOAH WOAH! On the MF SLY Nico (good for Fiona. Marry your angry boy. You deserve it. Whatever it is.) being like ‘you can’t be immortal only drinking animals’………………

- IM SORRY!

- That is a BOMB!

- WHAT. WUT.

- OUR BOYS CAN LIVE AND DIE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!?!?!? You are fucking kidding me! THAT IS ALL I EVER WANT IN MY LYFE! (Healing healing healing emotional healing)

- Beautiful addition with the Excalibur sword to give us the Simon Salisbury reveal. Just Beautiful. Thank you thank you thank you Rainbow. I think that is exactly as we need it. Like obviously a lot for Simon to work through. And he and baz LITERALLY have that conversation (‘it’s too much.’ ‘It would be too much for anyone’) I REALLY appreciate that scenario as the reveal. Like Ruth already knows all the important things about Simon and now they can just be a supportive and CONSISTENT presence in his life. BAWLING IM BAWLING.

- And Simon has his sword!!!! Yes boy! You look good with it! Baz thinks you’re Hot! Because you ARE!

- THESE BOYS ARE HANDSOME! WE ALL WISH!

- Okay but also the moment it hits Simon (and baz) that he killed his father…… noooooooo. POOR THING. (Crying real tears. Crying real tears in the park reading. It’s true.)

- HE WAS NEVER YOUR FATHER SIMON! NOT REALLY!

- ROSEBUD BOY!

- Yes that is the pet name and henceforth will be the ONLY pet name! (Actually baz should keep saying love because I SWOON)

- my thoughts are Simon is gonna keep his wings.

- Like he likes them and so does baz and honestly everyone does. I actually love that every time anyone who is important to Simon thinks about him without his wings they get a bit sad about it.

- I think he’ll keep them.

- I like that they left things with the nownext like….. those Vegas vamps will probably fucking kill them, let’s not get involved. And then literally didn’t talk about it. HA. (Fair enough. Not their problem.)

- Our baby’s get normal lives now!

- Like normal for them

- But they get to GO ON! ITS AMAZING!

- AH IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!

- HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

- Penny and shep are getting his passport and moving to LONDON! They gone be cute cute cute together and it’s LOVELY

- SIMON AND BAZ LIVING TOGETHER FOREVER!

- MY BOYS (crying crying crying crying crying)

- I can just picture Simon doing Sunday night dinners at the Salisbury’s and coming home with HEAPS of take home leftovers for his week because grandmother Salisbury would NEVER let him leave without it

- He’s got an uncle! And probably/maybe cousins!? Sweet baby aaaaaahhhhhhh!

- Daphne at home again. THANK HEAVENS!

- I really enjoy that baz calls her mum. I think it’s so soft and important on so many levels because she did raise him.

- BAZ DRESSING SIMON! COME. ON.

- I CANT HANDLE ALL THIS BOYFRIEND BEHAVIOUR THAT I AM CONSUMING! IT. IS. PERFECT. I AM EATING IT UP.

- every time each of them comments on how sexy the other is.

- Simon thinking about Baz keeping his wand in a holster on his wrist. And it being dead sexy without his shirt on. FUCK. ME.

- Okay okay okay but MORE physical intimacy!!!!

- Like Clothes. Get rid of em. Don’t need em. Confident with where things are going. Check. Communicating consent and checking in. Fuck yes check. Sexy sexy sexy. Check. Kissing kissing kissing. Check. (I’m dying just about here) (get it my sons)

- What does Simon say? Just like ‘do you trust me’ ‘yes’ ‘can I touch you’ ‘yes’

- I. HAVE. DIED.

- (I’m dead)

- (Me being dead) AAAAAHHHH

- I LOVE the on going ‘is this what people do?’

- That makes me feel so many things.

- FUCK

- Simons like ‘we just get to keeping trying and working and being close and trying and working and making each other happy’

- I WEEP!

- These. Boys. Have. My. Heart.

- They have it they have it they have it they have it

- UGH

- okay better leave it there. I need to READ. THIS. AGAIN.

- LOVE ❤️

#awtwb spoilers #awtwb #snowbaz #rainbow rowell #simon snow #baz pitch #penelope bunce #shepard love #agatha wellbelove #i am no longer a functioning part of society...#i breath and think only rainbows words

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jungcockshi · 4 years

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Locker Room - KTH AU

word count: 1.9k

synopsis: you’re known as the goody two shoes while you have a wild side that no one knows about. You really didn’t expect kim taehyung, the infamous baseball jock, to be the first person to know you liked wolf peepees.

***

The frat house raged with trap music as drunk bodies ground against each other. Nobody knew that it almost dawn- they didn’t care.

A red Bugatti pulled up in the driveway, and that was enough to draw everyone’s attention to the outdoors, eyeing the car with wide eyes- some filled with awe, some jealousy and a few spilling with hate.

He emerged with a sly look on his face, clad in black skinny jeans and a shirt too big for his chiseled torso. His hair was a mess, and to answer the reason why, a green haired girl stepped out as if someone had beat her from the legs down (honestly, you wouldn’t be too wrong to think that).

“He’s really here?” asked Shanissa, her eyes glued to the scorching hot male who was now approaching the frat house doors. A glass of wine in her hand, as she leaned on the huge french window, eyeing you to gauge your reaction.

“What more did you expect? He’s a sore loser who just wants to get attention by showing off his conquests,” Nola replied, casually sipping her margarita iwhile scrolling through her instagram feed, clearly not interested in where this conversation seemed to be going.

You couldn’t take this anymore. You got off the kitchen island, which had been transformed into a makeshift bar, and headed to confront the boy who had the guts to show up to the same place as you, even after everything that had happened.

“Liz, wait!” You heard your friends call out for you but you were done being the good girl. This sore jock was going to see the bad side of the good girl cheerleader today.

As you rushed through towards the door, his eyes immediately met yours and his mouth turned upwards into his signature smirk, his arms falling down from the girl on his side back into his jean pockets.

“I didn’t know whores were coming to the party tonight, would’ve arrived earlier princess,” He said, eyes scanning your black dress clad body from top to bottom, then landing back to your pissed off face.

“Yeah sure Taehyung, tell that to the girl next to you,” You said bitterly, eyeing the alien standing in front of you, clearly not fond of her eavesdropping your conversation.

“Whoa princess, didn’t know you’d be so jealous!” He laughed slyly, leaning down to whisper something down into the girl’s ear while he kept his eyes on you in his signature mysterious way. The girl simply nodded as he stood back straight, walking straight into the party, no questions asked.

You went back to your mission of nailing this man down in his coffin, “Why are you here, despite of everything that happened? Have you really started thinking with that little dick of yours?”

Within the blink of an eye, he had you pinned against the door, his heavy breathing being felt on your nose. You knew everyone was watching, so the first thing you wanted to do was kick him in the balls and rush back home, but you just couldn’t.

His eyes met yours, drowning you in an endless pool of mystery. What was happening? “Not this again.” You thought.

“Babygirl, don’t say things that you don’t want to be proven to you, because what you said is far from the truth and I will gladly prove it to you. Don’t try to blame me for what happened in the locker room, you and I both know you’re soaking wet for me right now,” He spoke with his hooded eyes on you, like a hungry beast looking at his feast.

He wasn’t wrong, and you couldn’t help but rethink the events from the previous day.

***

“Okay, now we’ll have one last round of practice with lead cheer, the rest of y’all can go home now. Happy weekend everyone!” Coach said through the mic.

“When will this fucking thing end, doesn’t he see I want pizza?!” Aarsh whined, bending down to tie her shoelaces and getting ready for the last practice.

“Bend that ASS for me baby” Jimin, the university fuckboy yelled out from the the bleachers.

“Yeah? How about I bend yours and fuck you hard you horny rat!” Alyssa yelled back, clearly not taking his bull.

“Okay yea calm down you raging wolf” you collected a very riled up Alyssa back into the formation line.

“I’m taking you up on the pizza plan, lets go thrifting after food?” Alyssa said, clearly pissed but very hungry too.

“okay as expected. Liz, you in too?” Aarsh asked and then gave Jimin a bitch look and turned around.

You weren’t so sure about this plan, having some workout plans later after practice, “I’ll bail on this one, go hog on dough you rats” you said laughing, while the other two girls simply agreed because that had always been the plan.

After repeating the same formation countless times you guys were finally done. The two girls changed and left for pizza, while you stayed in the locker room, scrolling through Tumblr, while sitting clad in a towel, as no one else was going to come since the practice was officially finished for the day.

You were reading a hot fan fictions, as a deep voice broke you from your trance.

Kim Taehyung. Clad in baseball gear and sweat highlighting his brown locks.

“Waiting for someone? Me, by any chance?” He said as he stood near your naked legs, clearly enjoying the show.

Fuck, he was hot. You mentally cursed yourself, the smut was making you horny for the class A fuckboy.

You stood up and said, “What kind of a perv are you to enter the girls locker room? Desperate much?”

He walked closer and filled the space between you and him. One move and your chests would be touching.

“I saw you engrossed in your phone with a look that all those girls have when they are under me. Who’s making you like that through a damn phone baby girl? Because I sure as hell know you’re not dumb to fall for a guy, there’s a reason why they call you Liz the goody two shoes,” He said, lightly laughing as he stared in my eyes.

Fuck, what happened to me? I was…frozen? This man, no, hot bod god, was looking into my eyes with a look that said ‘I want you to be one of my sex escapades’.

Impatient because you couldn’t garner a response, Taehyung decided to snatch the phone from your hands into his. His eyes were clearly not expecting to see what you were actually reading- the good girl image of yours shattering piece by piece in his eyes as he read the words on the screen.

He dropped the phone onto the bench you were previously sitting on and pushed you against the closed lockers.

“Oh baby girl, you’re so bad on the inside, aren’t you? Such a dirty mind, tsk tsk, pretending to be good while you’re craving for a wolf cock?” He laughed in your ears, his breath tickling your neck.

You couldn’t figure what was happening, you just knew that this was something that had never happened before, but you were not at all scared.

“Do you want me to destroy you like the wolf does on your phone? Trust me babygirl, this cock is a wild beast on its own,” He whispered in your ear, grinding his clothed dick on your naked sex that was covered with nothing but a thin towel.

Automatically, feeling this pleasure for the first time from someone that was not you, your face instantly leaned back in pleasure wanting him to continue what he was doing. He licked a bold stripe on the side of your neck as he saw your reaction, hands going off to pull his jersey over his head in haste.

He looked like pure sex. His collarbones, his chest and lean torso - they were the epitome of sex. His v line made your mind go crazy, you couldn’t think of anything but pleasure. You were finally able to get what you always read about and this hot-sex-god-man would be the one to fulfill your fantasies.

He noticed your eagerness and kissed you hard. His lips sucked the life out of your tongue and that was the hottest thing that had ever happened to you. Now breathless, you felt his fingers trail down your thighs and land on your aching sex.

His fingers made patterns of eights on your clit, making you feel like you were about to combust. Seeing your reaction, he was in awe, no one had ever reacted in this way when he was only using his fingers. You were pulling on his naked shoulders, as you let your first moan out.

Taehyung didn’t know what was happening- was Liz just too sensitive or….was it her first time doing this? He was really surprised as you brought your hand and placed it on top of his, assisting him to move faster.

He placed butterfly kisses all over your face, letting you soak into your own pleasure. “Is this my baby girl’s first time?” He smirked against your face, and you could only nod haphazardly, your high just around the corner.

Seeing this, Taehyung slipped a finger inside you, feeling how tight you were, and also helping you reach your high. He was giving you too much pleasure at once, one hand rubbing your clit, the other fucking you with his long slender fingers, and his mouth attacking your exposed neck.

With so much pleasure, you finally saw white and collapsed on his bare chest, now noticing that your towel had slipped from your body when you reached your high.

Taehyung basked in your heavy breathing on his chest, his dick hard and long as rock, but he somehow couldn’t think of himself. He had so many questions-

Suddenly, the locker room door opened and Jimin appeared, “Taehyung-shi!” , he yelled. He was not surprised at first because he had caught Taehyung with girls a number of times, but when he saw it was you, his jaw dropped.

Jimin was the fuckboy but also the tabloid of Boston University, whatever slipped through him was going to be on instagram the next minute.

‘Jimin get the fuck out bro!” Taehyung said, covering you by wrapping his arms around you and turning away from Jimin’s eyes. It was now that you realize your boobs were touching this manwhore of a jock.

Why are you so delusional Liz? But you knew your were fucked because this was going to be allover the campus gossip portals within the next hour.

“Get the fuck out or I nail your sister” Taehyung growled, but you could feel his eyes on you, searching fo ra reaction to what just happened.

“I’ll go, but who knew you were such a freak Liz” Jimin laughed as he made tsk tsk sounds with his tongue.

As soon as he left, you shoved Taehyung off as you collected your towel and phone, getting the fuck out of that damned before saying “If I see you again, you’re dead meat.”

All you got was a smirk for a reply.

***

“Are you still reading those stories in your mind, princess? Is me this close to you making you crave that wolf dick again-“

“Shut the fuck up you asshole!”

He then kissed you yet again, as if he wanted to continue what had had started in the locker room, and also give you an ending he knew you craved.

#kim taetae #taehyung #bts smut #kim taehyung #smut #jock!taehyung #taetae #rude!taehyung #dirtybts #bts x reader #bts jimin #vmin #sexy #hard stan #fanfiction #bts fanfic

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xmxisxforxmaybe · 5 years

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Remnants, Part VIII

Hang in there, friends. It’s not over yet! If you’ve got questions, shoot me an ask and I’ll answer if it won’t spoil the plot : )

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII

Summary: You are in the midst of formulating your dissertation, but you’ve hit a wall. Your doting aunt, Rebecca, has a solution that brings you face to face with Ahkmenrah, Fourth King of the Fourth King. As the connection between you and Ahkmenrah grows, and as the secrets of his ancient tablet unlock, the once-king will find himself faced with a difficult choice.

Thanks so much to @kitkatcronch @kpopperotp12 @seafrost-fangirl @sassystrawberryk @perfect-rami @txmel and @limabein for reading : ) If anyone else wants added to the taglist, let me know. I’ve greatly appreciated the feedback!

Warnings: Character death (sort-of, of course) but it is somewhat graphic.

Your hasty exit did not go unnoticed.

“Oh, Y/N. What happened with Ahkmenrah?” your aunt asked as she sat next to you on the stairs, her voice filled with concern.

You swiped at your cheeks and your nose in an attempt to pull yourself together before you looked at Rebecca. You felt ashamed for leaving her out of all of this and ashamed for crying on the steps of the American Natural History Museum in New York City.

“I don’t even know where to start,” you said in a hushed, miserable voice.

Rebecca’s phone lit up and she glanced down.

“Larry’s with Ahk. He figured, when he saw you run out, he should go check on him.”

“Good. That’s good,” you mumbled, trying to swallow the next wave of tears.

“I feel so horrible, Y/N. This is all my fault!”

“What?” you asked, dumbfounded.

“I knew the two of you were close, but I thought it was a good thing. Ahkmenrah isn’t just a wax figure—he’s human. He needed,” Rebecca paused, narrowing her eyes and pursuing her lips as she thought of how to articulate herself. “He needed a purpose. And when Ahk started working on deciphering his tablet, I figured that you helped give him that purpose, just by being his friend, someone he could relate to.”

“You couldn’t have known, Aunt Becca.”

“But I should have. I mean, look at him. Listen to him. He’s the embodiment of everything you’ve ever loved,” Rebecca explained. “It’s no wonder the two of you fell for each other. I essentially set the stage for a low-budget, kinda weird Rom-Com.”

You huffed, a tiny ghost of a laugh, as Rebecca ran her hand through her hair, clearly feeling guilty.

“You have nothing to feel guilty about. Ahkmenrah and I both knew what we were doing. We talked about it. We ignored logic and embraced the chaotic unknown. I’d say it works out for the characters in about 80% of those Rom-Coms, right?”

“I don’t know if I’ve seen one with this level of a twist in the plot, though.”

“Mmm, maybe a new plot for a Twilight reboot? Forbidden, half-alive boyfriend, stupid girl who makes stupid decisions and feels like death when boyfriend breaks up with her—well, hell. I guess it already is Twilight.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re pregnant,” Rebecca said, joking, but seriousness did hang on the edge of her tone.

“I’m not that stupid. I hold birth control as a central part of my belief system.”

“I would hope so, PhD candidate,” Rebecca said, scooting close to you and wrapping her arm around your waist.

You laid your head on her shoulder, her company helping you to feel composed enough to at least get yourself back to your apartment.

“So, what did Ahk say tonight?”

You took a deep breath and summed up what had happened during and after Ryan’s unexpected visit.

Rebecca was quiet for a while; you didn’t need to her to say it because you already knew.

“He’s right,” you said.

“He is right about one thing,” Rebecca began. “You can move forward. You can, eventually, forget about him and live the life of your choosing.”

“But I don’t want to,” you said, feeling hopeless.

“Only time can fix that, sweetheart,” Rebecca replied with a sigh as she kissed the top of your head.

“Did Larry say anything else?”

Rebecca picked up her phone, but there were no new messages.

“Ahkmenrah and I have something that we were working on and need to finish, so I’ll be back tomorrow night. I hope,” you stopped, not wanting to divulge what you considered to be Ahk’s secret about the tablet. “I hope it will bring us back to where we were; I can bury my feelings. I can be just his friend. Friends do love each other, after all . . .”

You trailed off as your eyes searched your Aunt’s, desperately hoping to see the spark of agreeance within them. Instead, all you saw was sadness, maybe even pity.

You stood up, fixing your clothes and adjusting your purse.

“Let me take you home,” Rebecca said.

You shook your head.

“I need to walk. Need to clear my mind. I’ll be fine—you know everywhere between here and the village is safe.”

Rebecca sighed, “Stay alert. Don’t get lost in your head, and text me when you get inside your apartment.”

You hugged Rebecca and she squeezed you back, reluctant to let you go.

“Thank you, Aunt Rebecca. For everything.”

Rebecca gave you a loving smile and watched as you crossed the street to enter the subway. When you glanced back up, she gave you a wave before she turned and headed back into the museum.

* * * * *

Maybe you were delusional, but you really thought when you and Ahk returned to see his death that he would change his mind—after all, this was the kind of experience that could really bring two people together, the kind of experience that could really make someone realize just how important it is to choose happiness over everything else. At least you thought so, given there really was no precedent for hopping through a doorway into a 4,000-year-old reanimated pharaoh’s memories.

Once you latched the deadbolt, you sent Rebecca a quick text. She responded immediately, stating that she was happy you were home safe. You thought about asking her how Ahk was, but as you looked around your apartment, the memory from the night you brought him here assaulted you.

You saw him, standing in your living room, dripping and shivering.

You saw the heat in his eyes as you touched him, and you reached up to touch your lips as you remembered the passion of your first, real kiss.

When you walked into your bedroom to change into an oversized t-shirt, you gazed out of the window, watching the flickering lights of the city, listening to the noise of the streets that siphoned into your room, filtered and muffled through the glass.

When you climbed into bed, you could almost feel Ahkmenrah’s body on top of yours, almost see the intensity he delivered with his eyes as he slid into your body. Everything, well, almost everything about that night had been perfect, and you thought that it was that night, there in the underground café when Ahk had kissed you because you promised to teach him to read, it was then that you fell in love with him.

The tears came slowly this time, sliding stealthily out of the corners of your eyes as you continued to watch the reflection of lights glittering in the window panes.

The only thing keeping you from sinking into an actual pit of despair was that you were going to see him again. Ahkmenrah was trusting you with his one last secret, and you were going to prove your love by being selfless, by providing him with support as a friend. He would see, afterward, how much he meant to you, that you really would do anything he asked of you.

* * * * *

Ahk is dressed in his full wardrobe, his golden breast plate that he rarely wore was glittering in the soft lights of his exhibit, and his face was nearly unreadable; the only emotion that seemed to be swirling beneath his regal expression was apprehension.

For the first time, Ahkmenrah did not greet you with a smile, and you felt a little piece of your heart break. But being in denial had its perks; you told yourself it was simply because he was about to witness his own death. Anyone would be stingy with their smiles in a circumstance like that.

“Are you ready?” Ahkmenrah asked solemnly.

“Yes. Are you?”

Ahkmenrah gave a firm nod. He removed his tablet from the wall and rearranged the hieroglyphs. Ahkmenrah spoke, the door opened, and the two of you walked in, knowing death was waiting on the other side.

* * * * *

Of course Kahmunrah chose to murder his brother during the Festival of Min, one of the Egyptians most robust celebrations to praise the god for his fertile blessings that allowed their crops to have flourished. The swath of grain that Ahkmenrah, as pharaoh, had cut to start the celebration is laid on top of a small pedestal in the center of his table. Everyone is giddy, feeling secure in the future of their great nation and in their young, virile king.

Kahmunrah sits to Ahkmenrah’s right, clearly secure in his position as not only prince, but as the vizier to his little brother.

You turn to Ahk and question why Kahmunrah held such a high position.

“Despite his shortcomings, he was my brother. I trusted him. I loved him. And at no time during my reign did I ever feel threatened by him. He made the perfect royal advisor; we disagreed, at times, about foreigners and war, but he always acquiesced to my decisions. I appreciated his passion for our land. He hid his—”

“He hid his crazy really fucking well,” you interrupted.

“Yes. He truly did. And I only know that now after revisiting so many of my memories and entering his thoughts. Something inside of him snapped the day my father made me king.”

You return your eyes to the celebration.

By this time, Ahk’s marriage to Sitmut is arranged. It is strange to watch Ahk with his future bride; when they greet one another, he cups her face and looks at her lovingly before kissing her forehead. The love that flows between them is palpable, but it feels familial. No wonder the pharaohs kept harems or elected to have a secondary wife; as important as the propagation of the family line was, incest merely served as a means to an end.

As you watch the festivities, you can see memory-Ahk, flirting with pretty girls, drinking, laughing, and it is clear he is at the very height of his power. Sitmut stays amongst her female companions, and you can’t help but notice she pays a lot of attention to one very beautiful girl. As they sit, drinking wine and eating sweets, their thighs press together on the stairs, while their glances linger just a little too long.

Your heart aches for Sitmut, trapped into a marriage and a false lifestyle, all in the name of duty.

Ahkmenrah’s memory becomes a little hazy as he consumes more and more wine, but the celebration shows no sign of ending. In fact, while Ahk’s vision blurs, his hearing amplifies, the music and carousing grow into a crescendo that blocks out almost any other sound.

And this is when you see Kahmunrah conferring with four, very large, very muscular priests behind the feasting table, their little party just hidden in the shadows of a large column.

Ahkmenrah’s parents are lying, lazily together on a set of stairs, alternating between watching the party and exchanging soft kisses. They are completely enveloped in a shroud of bliss, their sense of security evidenced by the fact that not many guards are stationed throughout the celebration.

A young man covered in enough jewels to denote his importance approaches King Ahkmenrah. He leans in, intently conveying a message.

Ahk’s brow furrows and without hesitation, he exits the room while the young man goes back to the party, quickly getting lost in the mass of people drinking, dancing, and laughing.

Ahkmenrah’s guards, six of them in total, follow the young king.

Kahmunrah’s priests slink out of the shadows and head in the same direction.

A low grown of terror escapes your throat, making the impending horror of what happens next all the more real.

You and the real Ahkmenrah rush after the priests, running to catch up with them. You can’t hear anything other than the din of the party, and Ahk’s head swivels from left to right as he strains to listen, his brows furrowed as he strains to remember.

And then you hear it. The sound of something gurgling, the sound of a body falling, followed by another thump and another and another.

“This way!” you say quickly as you take off into the hall on the right.

The hall ends in a garden similar to the one that Ahkmenrah had shown you on your first visit to his memory. Even though it is night, the courtyard is well lit, torches blazing along the interior walls and atop lamps that line the garden’s many pathways.

As you get nearer, you slip, Ahkmenrah catching you before you fall onto a stone that is covered in thick puddles of blood.

You gasp and raise your hands to your mouth in horror. All of Ahkmenrah’s guards are slain, their throats slit so wide that the blood was forming little rivers in the cracks of the stones.

The priests must have been practiced in the art of killing silently and quickly because it is clear they took out Ahk’s guards, two by two, until the final two turned to see why there were no footsteps behind them.

Kahmunrah chose his assassins well.

By the time you reach the center of the garden, the four priests, covered in blood have memory-Ahkmenrah, facedown. They hold him in place by kneeling on his wrists and ankles, and one priest reaches over to shove Ahk’s face into the sandy dirt of the garden while the other three work to strip him of all signs of royalty: his crown, his collar, his belt, and even his shoes, leaving him only in his short, thin, linen skirt.

Ahk’s teeth are bared, the veins along his neck and in his arms bulge with his efforts to escape.

Sliding between you and the real Ahkmenrah, Kahmun enters the garden. As he speaks, Ahk begins translating, causing you to jump because you had been so intently watching the scene in front of you.

“Little brother.”

Memory-Ahk freezes as he hears Kahmunrah’s voice.

“Kah! Help me!”

“Turn him over,” Kahmun commands in a cold voice.

The priests quickly flip Ahk, settling again on his wrists and his ankles. Now you can see his dirt-smeared face as it thrashes from side to side, his eyes wide and panicked, and his hands and feet purpling from the pressure of the priests holding him in place.

In that moment, it occurs to you how like Jesus Ahkmenrah looks, his feet and wrists pinned, his forehead bleeding, either from rocks in the dirt or from the ferocity with which his crown was removed. His dark skin and his curls are covered in dirt and sand, and Ahk’s skin is smeared in patches from the blood that transferred from the priests’ murderous hands.

“Kahmunrah, please,” Ahk says slowly as he sees the now unhidden crazed look in his older brother’s eyes.

Kahmunrah says nothing and only watches his baby brother struggle against the muscular priests, their muscles flexing as they increase their hold on the young king.

“Why?” Ahkmenrah whispers, as the reality of what’s to happen sinks in. “I gave you everything.”

Kah barks out a laugh, a high-pitched, terrible noise that hangs on the edges of the night, echoing in your ears.

“Gave? GAVE?! You STOLE what was mine! Our foolish parents who favored you, loved their precious baby Ahkmenrah more than Egypt itself, made a grave, grave error. But, no worries. They will pay for that error tonight, as well. But know that you die first, little brother, so I can show them your body. So I can listen to the sound of mother’s heart breaking. So I can watch the light, the joy finally go out of father’s eyes.”

Despite Ahkmenrah’s best attempt to remain composed in the face of death, his eyes fill with tears as Kahmunrah describes his planned horrors.

“Just kill me, Kah. Let Apep claim me but please do not hurt our parents.”

“Things will go according to my plans now, Ahkmen. You’ll die, here, in the dirt, like the worthless, second son you SHOULD have been.”

Kah drops down and settles across Ahk’s hips. He counts up Ahkmenrah’s ribs, looking for a particular spot.

Without another word, Kahmun sinks the knife into Ahkmenrah’s heart and twists his wrist, ensuring his brother’s death. Kahmunrah pulls the knife out, stands, and puts it back in his belt, not even bothering to wipe his brother’s blood from the blade.

Ahkmenrah, Fourth King of the Fourth King, dies like he ruled, a good king who cared more about others than himself. Instead of begging for his own life to be spared, he pleaded for the lives of the people he loved the most.

Memory-Ahk gasps as the knife is pulled from his heart, his eyes bulging as his body dies. The priests stand, and Ahkmenrah’s limbs only twitch in the dirt as the blood escapes out of his chest. He quickly loses consciousness and his eyes lose their light as his last breath struggles out of him, the blood from his heart soaking into the dirt beneath him.

You know, that for the rest of your life, you will never forget the image of life leaving Ahkmenrah’s eyes.

At the instant the blade sinks into memory-Ahkmenrah’s chest, real Ahk’s hand flies to his heart and his knees buckle. You reach out, catching him and guiding him to his knees as he watches the blood flow out of the gaping hole in his memory’s chest.

And as the blood ebbs into the dirt, the memory itself begins to fade, greying around the edges and the commands of Kahmunrah are silent, even though you can see his lips moving. Ahkmenrah is frozen on his knees, his eyes trained on his lifeless body.

“Ahk! We have to go!”

He doesn’t respond.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, you mutter under your breath as the scene continues to darken; the memory is now like a tunnel and only Ahkmenrah’s lifeless body serves as the single pinpoint of light left. The darkness is coming and coming fast.

You yank the tablet out of your backpack and hope to the gods that it will listen to you.

You scramble the tiles into the same order as the ones that are marked “Return” in Ahk’s notebook, and you speak the words you had heard Ahk speak to end your other adventures within his memory.

Sure enough, the door appears.

You grab Ahkmenrah under his arms and haul him toward the door.

He shakes you off, his movements damn near feral.

“No! My parents! I have to save them! I have to warn them! I can change it—I know I can!” Ahk says, pulling at the sides of his cape and twisting his hands, panicking.

“Ahk, it’s done and you can’t change the past because this is your memory. They’re gone, and we have to go, now!”

“No,” he says, looking wildly about at the increasing darkness. “No, no, no, no,” he chants, hysterically in ancient Egyptian.

You eye him carefully and know you only have one shot. You position yourself between him and the door, and in a swift movement, you pivot to the other side of Ahk and push him as hard as you can, jumping after him as the door begins to recede.

* * * * *

You both landed in a sprawling heap on the museum floor. Ahkmenrah’s crown skittered across the stone, his Wesekh’s clasp shattered and beads pooled under him. He’d also lost his sandals and they were nowhere to be seen. You must have tackled him right the fuck out of his shoes.

You were breathing heavily, and the remnants of tears glistened on your face. Ahk’s eyes connected with yours as he began to gasp for breath, his lungs clutching for air.

You scrambled over to him, grasping his shoulders and sitting him upright. You reached to unhook the pins that held his armor in place, pulling it off of him, letting it clang to the floor.

“Come on, Ahk, just breath, in through your nose, out through your mouth, in through your nose, out through your mouth. Concentrate on my words, come on. In through your nose, out through your mouth.”

You repeated the mantra until Ahk was breathing normally enough. He reached up and held his hand over his heart, and you followed, threading your fingers with his.

“He can’t touch you now, Ahkmenrah. It’s done. You’re safe.”

“You’re safe,” you repeated as you pulled him into your arms, stroking his hair as he began to cry, clutching onto your arms as his tears soaked through your shirt.

You had no idea how long you sat there with your pharaoh in your arms, clinging to you like a drowning man, but you held him and rocked him, saying nothing other than a quiet whispering of, “It’s okay, Ahk. You’re safe now.”

Ahkmenrah took a deep, shaky breath and slowly pulled away. You lifted his head and swiped at the wetness covering his face. You kissed his eyelids, tasting the salt from his tears, and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

“I could never have done this without you, Y/N. Thank you.”

“I owed you, remember? And I would do anything for you, Ahkmenrah. Anything.”

“Truly?”

“Truly,” you said with a small smile, hope quickening the beating of your heart.

Ahkmenrah stood, gathering strength before he spoke with authority.

“Go. Go now and do not return.”

Whatever you were expecting, it wasn’t this. You shot to your feet and clutched at his shoulders, holding on to him, the role of the drowning man now reversed.

“No, Ahkmenrah! I meant what I said. I’m in love with you. I can’t just leave knowing that you’re here, right here,” you said, placing your palm in the middle of his chest.

Ahkmenrah took your hand and lifted it to kiss your palm.

“Finish your dissertation. Go to Cairo—it’s where you belong.”

“I could have you transferred there! There’s a huge movement in the community to restore artifacts to their home territories and—”

Ahkmenrah looked at you with such sadness it stopped you in the middle of your plea.

“Y/N, that is what I am now. An artifact, a remnant of the past.”

“You’re real! You’re fucking real,” you said, your voice breaking as you pushed his chest hard enough to cause him to step back. “You said you fell in love with me only after I saw you as a real person, not as some historical thing,” you finished, gesticulating wildly.

“I never said I was in love with you, Y/N. I am a reanimated mummy, an artifact. This is all that I choose to be.”

Every ounce of fight that had been coursing through your body came to such an abrupt halt that you swooned backward, and Ahkmenrah reached out to steady you, his hands firmly grasping your upper arms.

He was right. Never once did Ahkmenrah say those words. It was you—you who had said them, and you who had believed he felt the same way.

You shook your head, refusing to believe that he was choosing to see himself like this, as what you had fought to reconcile with from the beginning, as what you could no longer even remotely see him as now. Ahkmenrah was choosing to become an exhibit at the museum, choosing to become nothing more than a wax figure.

And just as suddenly as the fight had gone out of you, a realization struck you. Ahkmenrah never had a chance to choose; he didn’t choose to become king; he didn’t choose to be brutally murdered by his brother; he didn’t choose to be wed to Sitmut; he didn’t choose to become the master of the tablet; he didn’t choose to come back to life.

But he could choose now—and he was choosing to let you go, to let you live a full life. He was choosing to stay safe, to be under the guardianship and protection of the museum that he now thought of as his home.

“You understand,” Ahkmenrah said, a spark of his normal self showing through his pain.

“I do,” you said, holding his gaze, your body damn near lifeless as he still held onto your upper arms.

“Goodbye, Y/N. Thank you for everything you have given me, and I hope that one day, you will accept this as the right choice.”

Your eyes filled with tears for the umpteenth time in the last 48 hours, and you kissed Ahkmenrah; you kissed him with every ounce of love that you felt for him; you poured everything you had into that kiss.

You only stopped kissing him when you couldn’t breathe anymore, and after your lips pulled slowly away, he rested his forehead against yours.

You slid further into his arms, one last time, and he squeezed you back before pushing you away.

“Please. Go,” Ahkmenrah said with a steady voice.

You couldn’t look at him again because you knew if you did, you’d climb into his sarcophagus and only the Anubis statues would be able to remove you, probably by using their spears to turn you into a large piece of Shish Kabob.

For the second night in a row, you sobbed on the front steps of the American Museum of Natural History in New York City.

But this night was the last.

* * * * *

“You did the right thing, Ahk,” Larry spoke up as he stepped out from behind the back wall of the exhibit.

“I love her, Larry. I had to let her go.”

“I know, Ahk. I know.”

#Ahkmenrah #ahkmenrah fanfiction #natm ahkmenrah #ahkmenrah imagine #ahkmenrah x reader #female reader #ahk #NATM #rami malek #rami malek's character

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bethgreeneishopeunseen · 7 years

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Interview Inconsistencies & Strangeness

Emily and the other walking dead actors may be amazing actors, but no one is a perfect liar. Over the last two-and-a-half years they have given off subtle clues in their speech and behavior patterns, specifically in relation to Beth. For ease of research and to stress how suspicious the whole Beth conspiracy is, I gathered all the suspicious interviews and articles that I could find, as well as any metas on them that I had in my archives. This compilation isn’t just my efforts, but all of the efforts of Team Delusional, as you all helped to provide the evidence. I would also like to give a special thanks to @fioredi for her help in finding some interviews.

If there are any interviews that you think are suspicious, please reblog them with the relevant quote/time mark and the source/link.

Present Tense:

In early October of 2014, Emily was on the podcast, EW Morning Live, with Dalton Ross. (It was likely recorded in September, after she would have finished filming.) She was giggly, referred to the show in the present tense, and even mentioned buying furniture for her apartment. When she was asked if she was going back to Atlanta, she quickly said, “I will be,” as if she had let something slip. (X).

Under the Radar: “Well, obviously, we're not all filming all the time. It depends on scenes and episodes and stuff, so I know I'm going to have some time to still fit in some stuff. But it's funny how this has become a home base for me, because when I'm here I'm focused on just working on one thing, and it's quieter. I'm usually not trying to fit a million things into one day. As much as the show is not a calm show, there's something really nice and calm about being in Georgia. It's a great atmosphere. Now it's beginning to feel more like a home, because this is my fourth year on the show. It's very familiar here. I'm sure the season is going to be amazing, and it's great to be around my family. During the break, we all go off and do our own things. I'm doing my music, and Norman does his photography. But it's always good to be back. It's such a supportive group.” (X) (X). (October 7th, 2014.)

Emily gave this interview probably within two months of it being released. She moved to Atlanta during season 3 (X at 46:13), and she’s had her Georgia apartment going back to summer 2013 (X), and the “now” is pointed. She felt like Georgia was home during 5b, because she spent most of the fall filming in secret, and because of this arc, she knew Beth would be one of the last characters standing.

On Coda’s Talking Dead, they showed a clip from set of Norman talking about filming the episode: “That was a really crazy day, because I really like Emily and I like that character.” (X) (X). (0:15). (November 30th, 2014).

FML 949: “It’s hard for me sometimes to separate, ya know like oh if I was just watching the show, like as far as making the show is so much…was so much a part of my like everyday life…” (X) (X) (June 11th, 2015). *audio removed*

Jefferson Public Radio (JPR): When asked what it’s like to pretend to kill people, she said, “Yeah, well we do a lot of…you know we have a lot of, um…there’s stunt coordinators and stuff like that on set, so there’s some choreography involved and also there’s some, um, there’s some like (pause) uh, special effects that are involved too so sometimes you’re not actually stabbing the person in the head…” (X) (X). (June 11th, 2015).

SplashTV (at 1:10): “[The Walking Dead] is so protective of anyone finding out anything that we have fake names. [...] My fake name was Mariah.” (X). (August 9th, 2015).

TPTB likely changed Emily’s call name after season 5 as a further security measure.

Spoiler Alert: “[Masters of Sex is] [v]ery different from Walking Dead,” Kinney said. “To me that definately appealed to me. I loved working on Walking Dead but I sort of liked the idea to of going to work and, like, people not getting shot in the throat. To me I welcomed the break of not necessarily exploring people getting torn apart but instead exploring relationships and sex and drama and people falling in love.” “This was a nice change of pace.” (X) (X). (7:14) (7:58). (August 17th, 2015).

Screener: “Now I’ve watched all of [Masters of Sex] and I really like the show. It��s really fun to do something that’s about relationships and families and [being] sexy. It’s a nice break from “The Walking Dead,” which, of course, was a lot of death and destruction. It’s fun to have scenes of just talking things out. That’s really fun for me.” (X) (X). (August 30th, 2015).

Emily spent most of The Walking Dead Food Special discussing the show, specifically in the present tense. She didn’t talk about her current projects until the end. (X) (X) (X) (X). (October 6th, 2015).

Julia Stoepel: “today i happened to run into emily kinney who is beth on #thewalkingdead and i am her german voice.” (X) (X). (October 31st, 2015).

(X) (evidence of her speaking English well, meaning that the quote above wasn’t just a grammatical mistake).

Hallmark Channel (at 0:27): “Is there a big difference in playing the two? Emily Kinney: They’re definitely very different projects. [...] For Walking Dead you know I show up to set and they just get me dirty and bloody and then I show up to set for Love On the Sidelines and I get to be pretty.” (X) (X) (X). (January 13th, 2016).

At her HelloGiggles interview, Emily refers to the show in present tense and as “we” when discussing the differences between TWD and Conviction when it comes to getting ready. This makes sense as we’ve theorized that she filmed for both TWD and Conviction, so she would constantly be going back and forth. She’s made similar comments about hair and make-up when talking about Masters of Sex and Love On the Sidelines. By the time of this interview, she had been off the show for two years and done multiple projects, so she had adjusted to non-horror costuming, but she hasn’t. (X). (3:20). (August 30th, 2016)

For her interview on Intrepid Broadcasting, she uses the present tense and hedges when talking about filming Beth’s death, using “umm” a lot. (X) (X). (7:38). (November 16th, 2016).

Your Morning Show: “I love being on the show” when talking about TWD. (X) (November 1st, 2016).

A fan met Emily and told her that, “Beth and Daryl sure were a match”, and Emily agreed. “They sure are.” (X). (November 2016).

Newschannel 20: “I’m so thankful to be a part of something that had such a big audience. And umm, I learned a lot. It was a big chunk of my life. It was like four years, working on that show. I learned a lot. I think I became a better actor, working with the people I got to work with. So yeah it was a good time.” (X). (June 9th, 2017).

Emily’s two primary social media accounts, Instagram and Twitter, reference her role as Beth in the present tense. On December 18th, 2014, she took “Beth on The Walking Dead” off her Twitter bio but added it back hours later. Then in late 2015, her Instagram hacked and her bio was changed. She had to fix her bio, and could have updated it, but she put Beth back. (X) (X).

Edited 7/22/2017 to add: Once on Twitter she replied to a follower about her bio being changed, explaining that her manager did it. Her manager will sometimes change things or sometimes tweet information. She kept Beth in because she liked it (X).

Interview Anxiety:

Lauren Cohan and Scott Gimple were asked about Maggie’s relationship to Beth. Lauren joked that the Greene sisters were texting the whole time, and Gimple mentioned radios before cutting himself off, as if it were a spoiler. “Yeah, there are radio waves that are still…[hesitates and cuts himself off] Okay, we just won’t get into that.” (X) (X). (July 30th, 2014).

When talking about Beth’s “death” after Coda immediately aired, the cast and crew all exhibited traits associated with lying. Emily probably did the most, who was on Talking Dead at the time. (X). (November 30th, 2014).

BTS of Coda (Andrew Lincoln): “I said to Emily, “You’re so fricking good. People adore you. Which is why you're worthy of this death.”” *fidgeted and didn’t look directly at the camera* (X) (X) (2:40). (November 30th, 2014).

Access Hollywood: “They brought Scott back. If they came to you and asked you to do some sort of flashback, or dream sequence, do you feel like you’re done, or would you be happy to say yes, provided you aren’t busy touring [with your music]? Emily: Yeah, it would just depend on my schedule, but of course I would. I mean, I love being on set, I love working. Of course I would. I love working.” Repetitious, which is a sign of lying. (X). (December 3rd, 2014).

When asked about bringing dead characters back for 5x09, Greg Nicotero’s tone and body language changed when talking about Beth/Emily. Chad L. Coleman first had to remind Greg about bringing her back, and then Greg gave unnecessary detail about it. The detail also clashed with filming schedules and with what Emily mentioned at a concert about being brought back. (X). (February 8th, 2015).

While listing off the dead characters in 5x09, Chad L. Coleman conveniently forgot to mention Beth. (X). (February 8th, 2015).

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY COMMUNITY: “What’s the experience been like, being killed off of a show? The fans were pretty upset about it. EMILY KINNEY: I would say now, I mean, it’s great. What’s really cool about this show is that even though I’m done working on it, there are conventions and people reaching out. It’s really exciting to see that fanbase, that they’re so interested in what I’m going to work on next. Obviously I miss working on the show. Right now a lot of the cast members are on hiatus anyway, but what’s cool is that working on that show, I made these really amazing friendships. When I do these conventions, I get to see all these friends again. So even though I’m not working on the show anymore, I still feel really connected. It’s also one of those shows that people will watch later—you know, binge-watch. So I constantly have people tweeting at me or contacting me saying, “I just started watching this show” or “I just finished season four.” So even though I’m done working on it, it’s kind of one of those shows that keeps generating more fans, and it’s something that will always be a big part of my life.” Repetitious, which is a sign of lying. (X) (X) (X). (February 23rd, 2015).

While on River 105.9, at 5:54 the hosts asked Emily if it would be possible that Beth would return as a flashback or hallucination. Emily struggled with a response before diverting the conversation to her other acting projects like The Flash. She never actually answers the question. (X) (X) (X). (February 23rd, 2015).

At 5:25, Emily also mentions that her album, This is War, would come out the first week of May. This makes sense, as albums usually come out before an artist goes on tour. Instead, Emily pushed up her album release date to early October, after she had done most of her shows.

On Good Morning America, leading up to the season 5 finale, Norman licked his lips and looked excited yet cautious when asked about romance. As we all know, Bethyl is the only romance for Daryl (X) (X), so that’s what Norman would be excited about. Which is only possible if he knows that Beth is coming back. At 3:28 in the interview, he participated in a trivia game with the host. He got everyone question except which death nearly broke the Internet that season. He said Emily instead of Beth, also licking his lips before responding. (X) (X). (March 27th, 2015).

(photo credit @bethgreenewarriorprincess)

On Talking Dead, Seth Gilliam was asked about Boots’s identity, and his demeanor and body language changed. He stuttered and spoke strangely (X). (February 19th, 2017).

Greg Nicotero, Christian Serratos, and Norman Reedus all exuded anxiety, and Norman became very fidgety, when asked which dead character they would want to bring back. (X) (X). (March 3rd, 2017).

Newschannel 20: Repetitious, which is a sign of lying. (X). (June 9th, 2017).

Interview Absences:

Emily hasn’t done a panel in the United States since before Coda. It was even confirmed that at least once the network canceled one of her scheduled panels. (X).

During a Behind-The-Scenes video for 5x09, Emily was the only main actress not in the video. All of the actors in Tyreese’s hallucination, except Martin’s and Emily, were there. Interestingly, Emily posted a picture of her in a van, with faded scar make-up, at the time the bedroom scenes were being filmed. She likely filmed the bedroom scenes first and then left, to go film. (X) (X) (X). (February 8th, 2015).

Emily didn’t do any commentary for the season 5 DVDs. It was her last seasons, which included her own episode, yet nothing.

None of the Grady actors have done a panel, even though past communities like Terminus has, and there have been a limited amount of interviews.

During an AMA, Emily confirmed that she would be recording her version of Struggling Man. She promised to release information in the coming weeks, but she never did. (X). (October 15th, 2015).

Lack of Death:

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “I know it’s tough for you guys off-screen, but what does the loss of Beth do to Rick and to the group moving forward on-screen?” Andrew Lincoln: [...] And yet again we’re in a desperate place and we’re in the middle of Atlanta that is overrun. We’re compromised, yet it’s one of these places where he has to step forward as a leader. There isn’t time to dwell on this. He has to keep pushing his troops forward. [...] I do have to say that losing Emily — it was so painful on so many levels. I adore the girl. I think she’s amazing. We lost the voice, her song. And after her having such a tremendous episode that she led in in episode 4 to not even get the chance… I mean, I had three or four seconds to act with her and then she was taken away. It’s just cruel, this job, man. It’s just cruel.” (X) (X) (X). (December 1st, 2014).

MTV News (Andrew Lincoln): “The interesting thing about the [Virginia] decision was it was the only physical way they could honor Beth. She’s dead and gone, and we can’t affect anything outside of that. One thing we can do is honor her wishes, and try to see if we can find Noah’s parents. I love that, when you realize the reasoning behind it was actually a softening, a tenderness, the humane side of Rick we haven’t seen for quite some time...[He had] very possibly a quite paternal feeling towards her.” Repetitious and overly-detailed, which are signs of lying. (X) (X). (February 3rd, 2015).

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY (Andrew Lincoln): “There are a lot of people grieving the loss of such an important person. There was so much hope invested in Beth and finding her, and then to have it ripped out of our grasp was unbearable for actors and for the story.” (X) (X) (February 6th, 2015.)

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “So, why was it Tyreese’s time to go? SCOTT M. GIMPLE: That question for any character is very difficult. You know, like, why was it Hershel’s time to go? Why was it Bob’s time to go? I mean, because there are no right or wrong answers when it comes to this stuff. I’ll say that it was his time to go in as much as that’s what the story dictates—not just in that moment, but for the future too, and the way the story turns off of these events.” (X) (X). (February 8th, 2015).

On 5x09′s Talking Dead, Greg Nicotero mentioned that “[The characters have] lost two people in the group,” either forgetting Bob or Beth’s death. Considering in the same episode he had to be reminded of Emily being brought back to set, I’m going with Beth (X). (February 8th, 2015).

Norman doesn’t refer to Beth as dead. For example, he describes “carrying [her]”, not her body. (X) (X). On Good Morning America, when asked which season 5 death caused an uproar, he said Emily. (X).

On the Talking Dead Fear Special, Chris Hardwick listed out the moral compasses, who always died, like Dale and Hershel. He left out Beth. (X) (October 4th, 2015).

News 4 Jax (at 1:03): “Once Beth left I felt like we had done a good job of you know really... filling out her character and like people got to know her.” (X) (X) (X) (X). (November 18th, 2015).

So in summary: People forget that Beth is dead.

Breaking the News:

During Scott Gimple’s tenure as showrunner, former cast members find about their characters’ deaths with some advanced notice. Later the cast and crew throw a death dinner. Everything related to Emily finding out and what happened afterwards stands out from the others.

“TVLINE: “How long have you known about Andrea’s death? Laurie: I didn’t get the official word until a few days before we began [shooting] the finale. It was a shock to everyone. It was never part of the original story docs for Season 3. And it was rather unexpected. That said, this is The Walking Dead. This show is not conventional by any means — and we know that as actors going in. So you roll with it. You show up, you do the best job you can, and you honor the storytelling. Overall, this has been an extraordinary experience and I just feel so blessed to have been a part of it.” At a con last summer: “Well I had an 8 year deal, I was supposed to be there until the end. I was supposed to end up with Rick. I was supposed to save Woodbury on a horse, and I was buying a house in Atlanta. I got the call at 10 o’ clock the night before, while I was shooting, from the show runner who is no longer a part of The Walking Dead, saying that they couldn’t write the episode and that he was killing my character. So we all got the script everybody on the set was sobbing. I felt like I got shot. None of it was supposed to happen the way it did.” (X). (March 31st, 2013).

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “You mentioned you didn’t know yet when you were filming episode 5, so when and how did you get the news of your impending fate? SCOTT WILSON: Actually, I found out right after that episode, which was kind of ironic. And I kind of truthfully expected it after episode 403 when Hershel had this great speech about risking your life and what you’re risking it for. I had a suspicion then. And then when I read 405, that really confirmed my suspicion in a way, but I wasn’t officially told until after we were finished shooting 405. Did you plead with the producers for a stay of execution like Rick pleaded with the Governor? He called me into his office and I went in and talked to him. He explained to me that I was going. I said to him, “I think you’re making a big mistake, but it’s yours to make and I’m not going to try to talk you out of it.” Someone from the show was going to go. I would not want to be the one to make the decision that he had to make there. And I respect him for how he told me, and I am grateful for the scenes and episodes they gave me before they took me off. So, it’s all good.” (X). (December 2nd, 2013).

On Coda’s Talking Dead, Emily mentioned that she found out during filming for 5x07 (X). (November 30th, 2014).

TVLINE: “How long have you known that Beth was getting killed off? EMILY KINNEY: Since late August. I found out the day the script [for the episode] came out. Who told you? [Showrunner] Scott Gimple. Did you reach out to your co-stars for emotional support? I think the original plan was for everyone to get a call [before they read it in the script]. I know when Scott Wilson was killed off [in Season 4], everyone was called [ahead of time]. And I think Scott Gimple originally [planned to do] that because he had times set up to talk to everyone that day. [But] I know not everyone got called, because some people called me the next morning when they read the script. Like, Norman Reedus and Andy [Lincoln] didn’t get any kind of call or anything like that. [Editor’s note: A source close to the show maintains that Gimple, on set in Atlanta, contacted all cast members either in person or via phone within hours of his meeting with Kinney, well before the script was distributed.] Did Scott offer an explanation? He didn’t, really. I think the whole point is there is no rhyme or reason [to the deaths on the show]. It’s like real-life. Why does that person [die] as opposed to other people? We really don’t quite know why.” (X). (November 30th, 2014).

Emily meant late July, not August. 5x07 was filmed at the end of July and Coda at the beginning of August.

The Hollywood Reporter (THR): “When did you find out Beth was going to die? Emily Kinney: The day the script came out, during episode 507. I was really sad and shocked, I had no idea. I had a meeting with [showrunner] Scott Gimple and it was very sad. He didn't explain why [Beth was being killed off], but he said it was something he had been planning since season four. I was very upset. We both love working together and for whatever reason, that's how he saw the character going.” (X). (December 1st, 2014).

There was an interview that Emily met with Scott in his office, but I couldn’t find it. And actors meeting with Scott in his office is characteristic of main characters’ death. It’s consistent in past cast members’ interviews, so why would Emily mention it only once? Because it’s a lie, and it’s hard to keep the details of a lie straight the more times you tell it. (X).

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “Tell me how and when you got the bad news. EMILY KINNEY: The season finale was episode 508 and I found out during 507. So I found out a few hours before they released the script to everyone. Showrunner Scott Gimple gave you the call? I actually talked to him in person. So did you go then tell your castmates or did they find out on their own? All I know is how I found out, which is that day a few hours before the script came out. So different people from the cast reached out to me after that and that was really nice.” (X) (December 1st, 2014).

The Daily Beast: “When did you first receive the news that Beth would be killed off? Emily Kinney: I found out during [Season 5, Episode 7], the day the script came out. I mean, I found out a few hours before the script went to everyone.” (X). (December 1st, 2014).

Us Weekly: “How did the showrunners let you know about Beth's death? Emily Kinney: I found out the day that the script came out. They came to me and told me before everyone else in the cast. I didn't read the script right away because I was working on [last week's] episode seven at the time. I wanted to avoid reading it at first, because the next day I had to do all my scenes for episode seven. Not to mention I wasn't really excited to see what was going to happen. I just stayed focused on that first. I had a little while to emotionally prepare… at least a little while.” What was your initial reaction to reading it? I was pretty sad. I really had no idea [that Beth was going to die]. I know it's happened like this in the past but for some reason I thought, 'Oh, they would tell me.' I really didn't know, so I was very sad and just dealing with, 'What am I going to do with all my stuff?' All the little stuff that you go through with a big change like that. It was quite a few years of my life. How did you say goodbye to the show? There was a little party. We had a campfire, campout party. It was good to see everyone. It makes you realize that you have to enjoy the time you have with people. At the end I was trying to really soak up everything.” (X). (December 1st, 2014).

In the same interview, there are inconsistencies. Emily first said that TPTB “came to [her]”, yet it sounds like they didn’t, as she didn’t know. In THR interview, she mentioned meeting with Scott. So why not in this one? Why use the ambiguous they?

Emily a posted a picture of a s’more on August 24th, 2014 (X). She was likely in Georgia at the time filming (X). Many fans speculated that she was at her death dinner. After Coda aired, she revealed that she had a fireside, campey death dinner, and she shared with Chad L. Coleman. Christine Woods wasn’t invited, even though villains are given death dinners too. David Morrissey and Scott Wilson shared death dinners, since they died in the same episode. I wouldn’t be surprised if TPTB kept the dinner to a tight circle, since Tyreese’s death and the filming of it are so tied with Beth’s.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “How did you first get the word from Scott Gimple that Tyreese’s time had come? Chad Coleman: Scott called me up and was like, “Chad, I’m meeting with all the cast,” and I’m like, “You know, Scott, I’m busy, man. I don’t mean harm, bro, but no big deal right? Everything’s cool.” He’s like, “Yeah, no, everything’s cool. I just want to talk to you.” So I went in, and he said, “Tyreese’s time has come.” And I said, “Stop joking, Scott. Come on, man. Stop playing.” And then he teared up, and then I knew it was real, and then I just kept saying, “Wow,” for, like, five minutes. I just kept going, “Wow. Wow.” And then I breathed in and breathed out, and realized that hey, man, I’ve done everything I could do on the show, so let’s go do this one, and make it the best we’ve ever done.” (X). (February 8th, 2015).

Yahoo: When did you find out that this was going to happen? Did you know from the beginning of Season 5? Chad Coleman: No, three episodes prior. But also, we got caught in the Beth situation. Because [Emily Kinney] was supposed to find out at least three episodes before, and it didn't happen. It happened pretty much one episode out. So she's reading the new episode and going "Oh, shit." Everybody was hurting tremendously from that. When [Scott Gimple] called me into the office, I looked at him, and he teared up. I said, "Wow." I said that about fifty times. "Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow." And he's just looking at me, and I'm going, "Wow." Then I just breathed in and breathed out and said, "You know, I've had an amazing time. It's been an amazing run." Did you get a chance to have a going-away dinner with your castmates, as per tradition? Oh, absolutely. It was around a campfire at the house of one of the producers. And it was beautiful. It was warm and heartfelt and everybody poured their hearts out.” (X). (February 9th, 2015).

Canada.com: What was your reaction when you found out that Tyreese was going to die in the Season 5B premiere, especially so soon after Beth? Christian Serratos: We all get a call when either you or somebody else will be going, so you never really know what’s going to happen or what the outcome of that phone call is going to be. I think we all got the news of both of them in the same phone call. We’re used to hearing about just one person leaving, but as soon as the shock settled with one, we were told we’re also going to lose somebody else. It was a double whammy for all of us.” (X) (X). (February 13th, 2015).

Cast members are allowed to fight for their characters, yet Emily didn’t and didn’t even think to (X). And she wouldn’t need to because Beth wasn’t dying in the first place.

Scott Gimple killed Beth and Tyreese essentially at the same time, and yet he was very clinical towards Beth and Emily when discussing the death (X).

So in summary:

There are inconsistencies in how Emily found out, and she found out later than she is supposed to. Typically cast members know a few weeks ahead of time, but Emily found out a week before, and we’re still not sure how.

Emily’s departure bears similarities to Laurie’s, except Emily still promotes the show. It appears that TPTB created a narrative similar to what happened in season 3

Stalking Dead Interview:

After the mid-season 6 premiere (February 14th, 2016), Kate Nash hosted Stalking Dead with Emily as a guest. The informal interview revealed Emily’s discomfort when talking about Beth, and specifically her death. Team Delusional was also brought up, as well as Beth’s lack of a funeral. It was a gold mine of an episode, and I recommend anyone interested in Team Delusional to watch the whole thing. (Full video here: X. It runs from 4:20 to 1:21:15, before repeating.)

Towards the beginning of the interview Emily pointed out that Glenn left out Beth’s name when listing deceased loved ones, like Dale and Hershel (X) (X at 10:00).

At 46:50, Emily finished talking about how she got the role of Beth and summarized her experience on the show as, “It’s been really amazing.” ‘It has’ is present tense, and Emily had been off the show for over a year at this point. (X).

While reading tweets from fans, Kate read a tweet that referenced Team Delusional, prompting a conversation about the group and conspiracies in general. Emily concluded “You never know” multiple times and “Don’t give up”, even though this would have been the perfect time to shut down fan speculation once and for all. (X) (X at 36:06).

She also said “You never know” when a fan asked if Beth was with Negan. (55:15).

When asked about Bethyl, Emily agreed that she felt there were romantic undertones being hinted at in the script. And again, TPTB would not put Daryl on a romantic arc and then just end it, as Daryl loves for life and Bethyl’s canonicity hasn’t even been confirmed to the general audience. (X at 39:20).

When asked if Beth was in the comics or was supposed to be Andrea in the comics, Emily said,“I don’t think that Beth is supposed to be anyone in the comics. She’s just supposed to be one of Hershel’s kids.” She then explained how the show liked to be different and a remix of the comics, so there were still surprises. Emily’s body was tense, she was fidgety, and she did not look at Kate until she moved the topic away from Beth specifically. Emily shouldn’t “think” that Beth is an original character; she should know. Earlier in the interview she mentioned having read some of the comics when she first got the part, and she also owns second The Walking Dead Compendium, which covers issues 49 to 96 (X). By issue 49, the Greene family had been introduced and reduced to just Maggie. Of her sisters, none of them were like Beth. Interestingly, the second compendium has a lot of Andrea storylines, as it covers the Hunters and Alexandria arc, when she loses her adoptive family and becomes Alexandria’s sniper. (X at 55:22).

Emily confirmed that Beth never received a funeral. A follower on Twitter asked Kate if she believed that Beth deserved a family, and Emily agreed. Though she clarified that, “They had to get out there… I understand. I feel like Beth would have been like I get it. I understand.” Kate asked her then what happened to Beth’s body, and Emily froze. She looked like a deer in headlights. She said, “I don’t really know. I never really -”, and she looked around the room, using Periscope as a distraction. (X) (X at 56:24) (X).

“I do feel like it’s going to go for a while, though, I feel like we’re -- the -- this show.” (X) (X at 1:13:03).

I’ve watched a lot of Emily’s interviews. She is introverted, but open and well-spoken. During Stalking Dead, she fluctuated between that and tense and nervous. For “safe” topics she was completely open. Later in the interview she and Kate talked about performing at another WSC cruise, and she lit up. Emily guards herself when talking about Beth, especially her death. It wasn’t a guard for sadness, there was too much tension. It was a guardedness out of anxiety.

So in summary:

Beth never received a funeral, as something happened between 5x08 and 5x09, forcing the group to run. This confirms what fans have speculated for over a year, as well as supports the Beth-car theory.

Emily is a terrible liar. It’s adorable.

The Beth situation is suspicious, and it has been consistently suspicious. Which means that whatever is going on behind-the-scenes is still ongoing. Emily hasn’t moved on from the show, and neither has the narrative and the marketing. Why move on when she’s going to come back?

#team delusional #interviews #emily kinney #masterpost

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mochimim · 7 years

Text

Spotlight

Genre: Fluff, ANGST, Celebrity! AU

Word count: 7.7k (my longest oneshot ever !!)

Pairing: Jimin x reader

Summary: The perfect guy, the imperfect celebrity

Warnings: Triggering topics - panic attack, thoughts of suicide

A/N: HELLO GUYS IM BACK WITH MY FIRST FIC IN QUITE A WHILE im so sorry tumblr deleted the post before this i haTE but it’s back so whooo !! this story is actually somewhat based on a personal experience, so I included a lot of personal thoughts and insights to try to make this better HAHAHAH but i hope yall like it !! i put in a lot of effort trying to write this fic and many BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS were shed but im finally done !! i really hold this story v close to myself because i actually felt all these things and i was a little delusional like the y/n in this fic !! please tell me how it was by dropping an ask into my inbox, both compliments and constructive criticism is good !! anyway besides this fic, im not yet done with dead leaves soRRY but feel free to leave me a request for the ending of chapter 7 (2nd last chapter !!) so drop me that asK ANYWAY IM RAMBLING AGAIN I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS FIC BYEEEEEE

"Miss, your interview is in less than 5 hours, are you sure that you want to be seen on national television with dog fur all over yourself?" Seulgi wrinkled her nose at me in disgust.

"Shut up Seulgi, I still have so much time," I flopped on my bed with my puppy on my chest. "And don't call me 'miss', I'm your younger sister. Don't be weird."

"You are the one who needs to shut up." She scoffed at me, but quickly started giggling and I joined in as well.

"No, but really, your stylist is waiting for you. What's his again? The cute one? Seok-min?" I let a small chuckle escape from my lips at her confusion.

"Seokjin," I got up and placed my puppy on the ground. "And take him. He's all yours." I cackled before sprinting out of my room, listening to her frustrated and embarrassed protests in glee.

"I will bet my entire career that you and Seulgi will get together by the end of this year." I mumbled to Seokjin as he handed me my outfit. He made a weird noise, probably thinking about the possibility.

"Yeah sure, I can hook it up." He said nonchalantly. I choked on my breath in utter horror and shock, I didn't think he would take me so seriously.

"Why are you making me wear something so pretty today?" I asked him as I got changed behind a curtain.

"What do you mean by 'pretty'? You look pretty every day." He said matter-of-factly, and I couldn't help but blush a little at his words.

"I'm not used to this. I can't rock dresses, full stop. I only look decent in a shirt and shorts." I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror one last time before walking out to sit down in the makeup chair. "Where am I going later, anyway?"

"You're an Academy Award winner, a Grammy winner, and you still don't know where you're going after this. Unbelievable." He called the makeup girl over and crossed his arms. I furrowed my brows, wondering how he linked the three things together.

"You're going on national television, stupid. You're going to be interviewed by Park Jimin!" He exclaimed and threw his hands into the air, almost hitting the makeup girl in the face.

"Who?"

He gave a little gasp at my obliviousness. "Do you not watch the evening news? He's the presenter after that. He does all the celebrity news, he interviews them on radio as well. He's like Korea's very own Ryan Seacrest! Only more beautiful and younger, and did I mention beautiful?"

"Uh, so, does this give me a reason to re-dye my hair?" I murmured as the makeup girl put some bright red lipstick on me, not really caring about whoever Park Jimin was.

"You've already done your makeup, silly. You wouldn't want to ruin her masterpiece, would you?" He said, posing more of a statement than a question. "Thank you Irene." He tapped her on her back as she scuttled away in fear.

"I don't think her name is Irene," I squinted my eyes at my reflection in the mirror.

"Whatever, you're almost ready. Time for hair, time for me to do my magic." He whipped a comb out of the pocket of his pants. "We have no time for re-dying of hair. And I think that this pink hair suits you. Also, don't worry about the interview with Park Jimin later. It will be a walk in the ‘Park’!" I groaned at his very lame joke and he chuckled softly.

I tugged at the hem of my dress, trying to pull it lower.

"Seulgi, why do you look so nervous? I'm the one going out there." I asked her as she bit her neatly manicured nails.

"Look, I'm just worried for you, don't mess this up for m- for yourself, okay? Also, I'm going to be in the same room as Pa-"

Heads were turned as a man walked into the room. He looked confident and cool. He was very handsome, with a charm that seemed to go around the room. His cotton candy coloured hair looked like it took hours to style, his makeup flawless. He wore a suit that looked a little too tight, but it accentuated his muscular arms, so I wasn't complaining.

"Park Jimin-"

Stop being so shallow, maybe he's a dick.

And suddenly, I was being pushed into the set. And right into Park Jimin's arms.

"Cut!"

I heard someone yell, and I swear I heard the entire studio sigh in unison. I didn't realise that I was in the Park Jimin's arms until he pulled me up, and I dusted off my dress.

"Sorry." I bowed to him and ran off to the standby area.

"Could we do that walk in part again? Come in less violently, thanks." The mysterious voice ordered me, and I nodded at the instructions.

After coming out less violently, the rest of the interview went fairly well. I didn’t mention any embarrassing things that could expose me, but I did comment on our similar hair colours, which was enough awkward for one day.

“Hey, we have the same hair!” I blurted out just before he could ask me a question. He tilted his head and was silent for a moment, but quickly caught on and smiled at me. I stretched my hand out for a high-five, hoping that he wouldn’t leave me hanging, and he didn’t. He flashed me the brightest smile I’ve seen in a while and gave me a high-five.

“He has the most gorgeous smile. His eyes smile along with him, did you know? He literally radiated happiness, Seulgi! I can’t believe it!” I exclaimed to my sister as we were leaving the venue, but quickly stopped myself from getting too hysterical over someone I just met.

“He really is a charmer. I got the chills just standing next to him.” Seulgi smiled to herself, quite pleased that she was able to stand next to him, and then I realised all the hype over him. I was going to start watching the celebrity news show from now on. I was going to b-

“Wait!”

I felt someone tap on my back and I turned around.

To be face to face with Park Jimin.

My bodyguard was going to push him away when I stopped him. Jimin looked out-of-breath.

“S-sorry for disturbing y-you. But, w-would you like to g-go out for lunch tomorrow? For w-work purposes, of course.” He asked as he caught his breath. I looked at his panting form, and my heart doubled in size.

Stop thinking of those things.

“YES!” I yelled, startling both him and Seulgi, making them jump a little.

“But miss, tomorrow you have t-”

“Cancel it!” I beamed at the glowing boy in front of me while trying to wave away my sister.

“Uh, we can go another time if you’re bu-” He blushed a little, scratching the back of his head. My eyes widened and I immediately waved my hands frantically.

“No, no! It’s okay, tomorrow is fine. I’m sure it isn’t important.” I smiled at him again, and he reciprocated the happiness.

“Okay! Could I get your number?” He handed me his phone and I willingly took it from him, not minding that it had a bright pink phone case. I punched my numbers in and handed it back to him eagerly.

“Thanks! I’ll text you later. See you tomorrow!” He bowed to me and walked back into the studio. By then, I felt like I was going to explode.

“You know, you’re supposed to meet your father tomorrow. Are you sure you want to cancel?” Seulgi asked me cautiously. I stopped in my tracks, thinking of him.

Did l really have to choose between my father and Park Jimin?

“Cancel the lunch appointment.” I sighed after a long time of just standing there. My sister made a sound of disapproval, but I ignored her and walked back to the car.

Park Jimin.

I went to Google him when I got home.

Actor, Presenter, Singer, Dancer

He seems really cool.

His fans love him because of his bubbly personality and kind words.

Seems legit.

Was in a band called BTS and was internationally known. However, the band disbanded due to unknown reasons. Whether the members are still close is still unknown.

He was in a band? That’s so hot.

Are you sure you want to read Park Jimin fanfic?

I’ve never been more sure in my life.

But, before I could click “yes”, my phone buzzed in my pocket. My gasped and snatched the phone out a little too excitedly to be greeted with Jimin’s text message.

Jimin: hello! This is y/n right? It’s Park Jimin. Are you able to meet at the dog cafe in Gangnam tomorrow at 1? xx

I am literally going to cry.

“Yes!” I screamed at my phone and threw it onto my bed. I pumped my fists into the air in joy and threw myself onto my bed as well. “He texted me!”

The next hour was just me doing some intensive research on Jimin for ‘work purposes’, or at least that’s what I told my sister, until I realised that he didn’t text me back. I picked my phone off the bed and read the message again. And then, it dawned on me.

I was the one who didn’t text him back.

I cried out in horror and quickly typed out a short message to reply him and not seem rude.

Me: hello Jimin! Yep tmr at 1 is gud HAHAHAHA c u !!!!

Too informal?

Me: hello Jimin. Tomorrow at 1pm at the dog cafe will be splendid. Thank you for your time.

Too formal?

Me: hello Jimin! Yeah tomorrow at 1 will be good! Thanks and see you there!

I guess that will do.

And I pressed send, waiting for him to reply like I expected him to send me a message at the exact same moment I sent him one.

[read at 6:45pm]

Oh, okay then. I’ll see him tomorrow anyway.

And I spent the rest of my evening thinking about him.

“So, is my dear y/n going on a date now?” Seokjin teased me as I looked for a dress.

“I think you’re a little too nosy today. Why are you peeking into my personal life? And I’m hanging out with a friend.” I shook my head. “Do you have an outfit for me to wear today? His- I mean their favourite colour is blue, so I want to wear blue.”

“So, you just diss me, and expect me to help you to impress some trick shot guy that might break your heart?” He crossed his arms.

“Ugh, okay then. There isn’t any, so I’m just gonna take this weird purple dress.” I sighed, in hopes of winning him over using reverse psychology.

“There are jeans in the bottom right drawer. And there are nice shirts somewhere in the top shelf I think.” Seokjin whispered to me, as if he didn’t want to get caught trying to help me. I giggled at him and went to search for the clothes. I picked out a simple white shirt and ripped jeans.

“Thank you, and sorry for the trouble.” I did a half-bow to him, actually relieved that he was here to help me. A small smile danced on his lips and I took it as a “you’re welcome” and walked out to get changed.

“Jimin! Hello!” I exclaimed as I got out of the car and saw him standing outside the cafe. He looked stunning as hell, with a long sleeved white sweater and black jeans that hugged his legs that were much prettier than my own, completed with a green beanie on his head.

“Oh, hello y/n. Are you ready to go in?” He flashed me his signature smile, and I was at a loss for words yet again. All I could muster was a slight nod, and he took my hand and led me into the cafe.

Park. Jimin. Is. Holding. My. Hand.

As we entered the place, we were greeted by at least a million puppies, nipping and yapping at our feet. Or at least I was. The dogs didn’t go near Jimin, strangely enough. I squealed at the cute puppies and picked some up to cuddle. Jimin tried picking one up, but it kind of growled at him, so he playfully growled back at it, making me giggle.

Many people in the cafe stared at Jimin and I, and I wasn’t sure whether it was because of Jimin’s good looks, his fame, my actor status or the fact that we were together. BUt it didn’t really bother me, I was just happy that I was with him at that moment.

With a puppy snoring on my lap and Jimin holding my hand in his, it was bliss.

“This one’s name is Bubbles, Jimin. He’s super cute, look at his face!” I whispered to him, afraid to wake the sleeping pup. He nodded fondly and peered at the dog’s face.

“He actually looks like my friend’s dog. I like him.” He nodded in approval and I smiled at him.

“I wonder why the puppies aren’t coming to you. Maybe I should trust them.” I jokingly said with a small wink. He chuckled at my teasing words and picked a dog up.

“What secret do you know about me? Huh?” He lowered his voice, trying to seem manly. But, the dog squirmed in his hands, so he put it down and it scuttled away.

“So, you’re an actress right? I’ve seen you in some dramas. You’re really good.” He murmured to me, and I swear I’ve never blushed so hard.

“Uh, i’m not very good. I just get casted in things for publicity, I guess.” I looked away from him in shame, not really wanting to talk about my career. “But how about you, Mr. actor-slash-singer-slash-presenter-slash-dancer? You’re multi-talented. That’s really cool.”

“I’m not that talented, come on. You’re-” he laughed at me, but was interrupted by a girl tapping on his shoulder. The girl looked about 15, with plaited hair and braces, and she held a notebook with Jimin’s face on it.

“Oppa-ya, could you sign this for me please?” She tilted her head to the side, making me want to laugh at her cute attempt of winning him over. He stared at the girl for a little while, and then magically whipped a pen out of thin air and signed her book. The girl was obviously really happy, as she squealed with joy when he handed the book back to her, and she went away skipping.

“I think that we should leave here and we can go to my house to chill out. It’s about a five minute walk from here. What do you say?” He suggested, and I willingly nodded, reluctantly carrying the sleeping puppy on my lap to his bed, and we left.

“Today’s weather is really nice, don’t you think?” I said it mostly to myself, but he hummed in response. I felt his hand brush against mine, and I laced my fingers in his. My cheeks were burning, but I could blame that on the weather.

And there we were, walking down Gangnam Street, ignoring all the surprised netizens and flashing of cameras. His expression looked a little strained, and I felt like mine was too, but when I looked at him all my worries melted away like ice cream on a hot summer day. He looked so beautiful in the bright sunlight, contrary to the sharp wind that tangled my hair and made me look like I was going very red.

We walked all the way until we reached a very tall, very modern building, and into a lift that took us to the penthouse. Once I stepped into his apartment, my mouth hung open. I couldn’t think straight looking at all that expensive looking furniture, and the five other beautiful men sitting on a couch that looked like it was bought with all the money I had earned.

“Ah, there they are! I’d like to meet my friends.” He squeezed my hand, and I had never been more glad that his seater covered his hands, because my hands were sweating.

It’s only been one date, and he’s introducing his friends to me now? This is going a little too fast, but I shouldn’t say anything.

“Guys, this is y/n. Remember her from that drama Temptation? Yeah, she was playing the young Park Jiwoo.” He asked the five men, and all of them sat up and nodded their heads.

“Y/n, the one in blue is Namjoon-hyung, the one in black is Yoongi-hyung, the one in green is Hoseok-hyung, the one in white is Jungkook and the other one in black is Taehyung.” He introduced, and I gave a polite bow to all of them. They all nodded to me, besides Taehyung and Jungkook who gave me an enthusiastic “hello!” each.

“I’m so sorry, I actually have to leave for a little bit, I have to settle some stuff with the producer of my evening show. I’ll only be gone for two hours at most. Would you like to stay here, or do you want me to take you home right now?” He said, not looking up from his phone.

“Um, I think I can stay here and wait for you,” I beamed at him, and he looked up at me and beamed back.

“Great! Guys, please treat her well and don’t scare her away.” He turned on his heels and came dangerously close to my face. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” He whispered to me, and his lips brushed my cheek. I felt a tingle run down my spine and I nodded furiously. And he smirked and left.

I stood awkwardly at the entrance of the apartment, facing the five guys. They gave me a small nod, and gestured for me to sit with them. I gulped and moved my wooden legs to sit on the comfiest couch i’ve ever sat on.

“So, y/n, how old are you? Are you a 95 liner like Jiminie?” The one in blue asked me. Namjoon, was it?

“Uh, I-i’m a 95 liner, yeah.” I stuttered, trying to hide my increasing nerves.

“Don’t be nervous, we don’t bite,” Hoseok chuckled, and I felt the need to smile along.

“So, are you and hyung going to get married? I like you, you seem really nice!” Jungkook blurted out, earning him a light smack on his arm by one of his hyungs.

“Um,” I coughed, expressing my nervousness. “We’ve only been on one date, so I don’t so as of now.”

“I think you guys are making her nervous, you guys should go now.” Yoongi told the rest in a monotonous voice. They all grumbled, but did as he said, and I said my silent thanks to Yoongi for helping me. He stayed on the couch, though, but I didn’t really mind.

“I’m Yoongi, if you forgot.” I nodded at him, confident that his name was the easiest to remember. “You don’t need to call me Oppa, if that was what you were thinking.” He clarified, and even though I wasn’t thinking about that, I nodded along.

After that awkward first words, we started talking. About our likes, dislikes, favourite things and least favourite things. He was surprisingly easy to talk to, and surprisingly relatable as well. We had many things in common, and we mostly talked about music. He liked rap and hip hop, so did I. I even let him listen to some of my songs that I had recorded for fun, and he gave me a stamp of approval.

“Wow, should I be honoured that THE Min Yoongi gave me a thumbs up on my joke song?” I giggled, and he flashed me a gummy smile that I never thought that I would ever see.

“Yes, yes you should.”

But, before I could show Yoongi my other joke song, Jimin came in from the lift and sat beside me.

“You seem really comfortable here, that’s a good sign. Would you like to stay for dinner? I think Jungkook is cooking glazed sweet potatoes, and it’s really an interesting experience to eat that.” He asked me, looking at me with those gorgeous eyes and I immediately nodded without thinking.

“Great, I’ll be in the kitchen for a bit. I’ll be back.” His hand lingered on my arm a little too long, and I felt my blush creeping up to my cheeks again. Yoongi had also gotten up to go to the bathroom, so I was alone in the living room.

I took my phone out to check the time, when I saw the twenty-one missed calls and fifteen messages Seulgi had sent me. I sighed and rubbed my temples, worrying that Seulgi was going to overworry. I called her back and held my breath, preparing myself for a big scolding from her. She was working for me, but I was still her younger sister.

“Unnie?” I whispered into the phone, and I heard her cry out in frustration.

“First, you don’t answer my calls, and now you’re suddenly calling me unnie? I was so worried for you! You just ignored my calls, and I had to do everything myself! Where are you right now? I’ll send someone to pick you up.”

“Seulgi, please. I’m fine. I’m at Jimin’s house, it’s fine! But, can I stay for dinner? Please, they asked and I already said yes.” I pleaded into the phone, not caring that Jimin had entered the room and sat on the space next to me.

“You have so much to do tonight, what are you doing being at his house for so long? You have to send emails to-”

“Yay, thanks Seulgi! I love you very much! I’ll be home before ten and I’ll have plenty of time to finish up my work thank you! See you, I love you!” I dragged out my last word before hanging up on her and exhaling very loudly. Jimin pet my head, and I instinctively leaned towards him and lay my head on his shoulder.

“Ewww~ You guys have only been on one date, and you’re already so lovey-dovey.” Jungkook came into the room wearing an apron that said “kiss the kook” and a very disgusted expression. I was going to comment on the younger’s cute words, but Jimin beat me to it.

“Date? What date?”

I felt my heart break into two.

He said it with such confusion, that I couldn’t tell whether he was joking or not.

Jungkook’s eyes widened, making him look more like a child. He blinked at us awkwardly for a moment, but quickly came to his senses. “Dinner is ready, y’all can come now.”

Jimin got up and pulled me to my feet, and we made our way to the dining room together, but I suddenly lost all appetite.

He didn’t see today as a date? Then what did he think it was?

But, I pushed all my negative thoughts aside to be replaced by the glorious food in front of me. Not only could he ‘kook’, he could also cook.

We spent dinner talking about everything we could think of, and trying to pry the sweet potatoes off the plate. It was Jungkook’s special dish when everyone was sad or during a happy occasion, they told me, and I smiled at them.

After that day, Jimin and I became closer and closer. I ignored his words that hurt me before, and I tried to move on.

Maybe he just was trying to protect his dignity.

He texted a lot, and we called and video called a lot as well. We talked about everything, from good things to bad things, but we were never at a lost for words. We never got bored while talking, nor did we run out of things to say. Conversation flowed really well, and sometimes I felt myself wondering why I had ever doubted him for being a dick.

I talked a lot to Yoongi, as well. He was someone I could talk to comfortably without it getting too awkward. Our similar taste in music usually took the wheel in our conversations, we recommended music to each other and that strengthened our friendship.

Jimin and I went on a few more ‘dates’, or whatever he thought they were. We went out to eat, I went to his house to watch a romantic movie, we went shopping together, and many more things that I really cherished.

There were too many news articles about us to ignore, but Jimin didn’t seem to be bothered.

“It’s going to die out soon if we don’t address it, it’ll be okay.” He flashed that award-winning eye smile again, winning me over in a snap of a finger.

The news articles didn’t bother me, though. It was the number of news articles surrounded around our “pending relationship”. All of them said the same thing, all talking about how people saw us around together, holding hands and asking if the fans thought we would be a good couple or not. Most of the comments said we would be the cutest celebrity couple, and I didn’t deny them.

We were busy, I had a new drama that I was working on and he had his presenting career, but we made it work. We carved out time in between shoots to see each other, and even if we couldn’t see each other in person, we would call or text.

And every day, I fell more and more in love with him.

I couldn’t help it, it just happened. It hit me one day out of the blue. I didn’t just like him, I loved him. He brought so much happiness into my life, and introduced me to so many people that I wouldn’t ever trade for the world. I felt like if I ever let him go, all these things would suddenly disappear from my life, leaving me stranded in my own pit of loneliness and self-pity.

I also clung onto the hope that he would love me back.

Even when everything came crashing down.

So, I was close to two people in his friend group, Taehyung and Yoongi, and I really trusted the both of them. So, I told them my secret.

“I think i’m in love with Jimin.”

Taehyung spat his drink out onto the coffee table in front of him.

“Huh? What do you mean? You love Jimin? Are you sure this isn’t infatuation?” He spluttered out, probably very shocked at my sudden confession. Yoongi held his cam and cool exterior, so i didn’t really know what he was thinking at the moment.

“I don’t think it’s infatuation. Every time I go near him, or think of him, or talk to him, my heart begins to flutter. It’s not under my control, if I could I would definitely not want to feel like this, but I do. When we talk, I get excited over small things. I can feel it in my bones, Tae. have you ever felt this way about a woman?”

“Not about a woman,” he blushed and turned to face the back.

“Y/n-ah. Congrats on finding love and everything, but here’s the thing: do you want a relationship with him? Otherwise, all this is irrelevant.” He bluntly stated, making Taehyung shift in his seat and making me feel a little uneasy.

He had put it harshly, but he was right. So what if I found love but didn’t want a relationship? Did I really want to spend a long time, possibly the rest of my life, with this man?

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Okay, then good for you.” Yoongi curtly nodded and went back to scrolling through his phone. Taehyung seemed a little off, but quickly whipped out his phone and started scrolling too.

Was it so wrong that I loved him?

Me: Jimin-ah!I have about 2 hrs before our next shoot tgt! Would you like to come over or I can go over as well :^)

Jimin ❤️: busy.

Me: We can go to the venue together :^)

Jimin ❤️: can’t. sorry.

And that’s when it all came crashing down.

He hadn’t been like this before, why was he acting so cold towards me all of a sudden? Oh, cmon y/n, it’s just a text message, maybe he’s in a meeting. You’ll see him during filming.

And I did see him during filming, but he didn’t see me.

“Jimin!” I called out to him and waved. He looked back, but looked away just as fast. His pace quickened as he disappeared into his changing room. I was left there, hurt and very confused.

Our characters did not have much interaction except for one scene. And we were going to film that one scene that day. It was a comedy drama about two colleagues fighting for the head position but end up falling in love later in the story. He was playing the boy’s overprotective friend, who causes a lot of problems later in the story, but is checking the girl out to see if she is “worthy enough” to date his friend.

“Ya, are you the idiot who is dating my best friend?” He coughed into his fist, already fully into the character.

“Are you using informal language with me? We don’t even know each other.” I snapped back, wavering a little under his strong gaze.

“Ya, listen up, I’ve heard that I’m older than you. So back off.” He squinted at me.

“Look, I don’t even know you. I’m just here t-”

“You know, you’re really pretty. Easily the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” Jimin winked at me, and I desperately searched for any signs of genuinity in what he just said. After his character had said that line, my character was supposed to throw her cup at him, but I was too busy ‘looking for love’ that I totally forgot what to do and screwed the scene up.

When the director yelled cut and we returned to our original positions, I thought I saw him roll his eyes, but I chose to ignore it.

We did the scene one more time, and we wrapped it up perfectly.

“Hey, Jimin, you were really good!” I tapped him on the shoulder and smiled at him. The corners of his lips turned up a little, and I took this as a good sign.

“You too.” He nodded at me and walked away.

Well, it could have been worse. He could have totally ignored me, but he didn’t. Does this mean that he likes me, just a little?

I spent the rest of my day smiling and thinking of him.

But as we got further and further into the filming, he ignored me more and more, and interacted with me only when it was necessary. We stopped texting regularly, and he stopped asking me out to hang. We kind of just stopped everything we had.

But, I still prayed and hoped that he had some feelings for me, because I sure did have feelings for him.

I started hanging out with Yoongi more than him, and we would just sit and talk about anything and everything under the sun. But, I needed to ask him about Jimin.

“Yoongi-ah, do you think Jimin thinks that I like him? Is that why he’s acting so strange?”

“Oh, he knows that you like him.”

What?

“What? Who told him?” I yelled, running over to his side. “Oh my god, I can’t fucking breathe. I’m going to faint.” I started hyperventilating and everything looked a little blurry.

“I think it would be best if you didn’t faint on me,” he said with a serious tone, but I could tell that he was a little worried. “I heard Jungkook talking about it to Hoseok, that Jimin knows that you like him. I didn’t tell him, if you’re wondering. And I don’t think Taehyung did either. Besides, I don’t think he’s acting strange on purpose. I’ve known Jimin for eight years now, he’s a genuine dude. He wouldn’t hurt someone intentionally. He’s just a little oblivious.”

“Do you think that he will forget about this?” I looked up at Yoongi with tears ready to spill out at any negative response Yoongi was forming in his head.

“I honestly think that he will. It might take a while, but he’ll eventually forget it and everything will go back to normal. Jimin doesn’t hold grudges easily, and I think that he’ll understand later on. But we will save that story for a time when we’re all old. You can still have feelings for him, nobody’s going to stop you. And you know, maybe he’ll like you back, but I can’t decide that for him. You just have to be patient and see what happens.” He reassured me, holding my chin up to face him as my warm tears glided down my cheeks in silence. “But for now, let’s go get some ice cream to calm you down a little. And let’s bring Seulgi along, I think she feels a little left out sometimes.” He stood up, and pulled me to my feet. He draped an arm around my shoulder and I buried my face into his shoulder.

“Thanks Yoongi.”

“It’s going to be okay.”

With Yoongi’s blessing, I continued to harbour feelings for Jimin. Seeing as I saw him almost every other day, I thought about him a lot. As I saw him acting, I thought about how he was so talented. His character was basically the comic relief, he made me laugh until my sides hurt. He never failed to make my day, and I hoped that my scenes made his day as well.

I would try to initiate conversation and we would occasionally have a short conversation about anything we wanted to talk about. I was really happy when he replied to my messages, I sometimes would screenshot our messages and show them to Seulgi so she could fangirl over the fact that I was friends with her celebrity crush.

“Y/n, can I be super honest?” She asked me once while looking at our messages. I was sitting on the couch, eagerly waiting for her reaction.

“Yeah, sure.”

“He seems like he’s replying with very little effort. You see, you typed such a long message here, and all he replied you with was a ‘cool’. I think you’re putting in too much effort into this, little sis. You might want to back down a little, give the dude some space for a bit and try again.” She sighed, and I felt a little bit of anger boiling up inside of me, not sure whether it was because of her blunt words, or the fact that I had suspected it as well.

“Seulgi, I don’t think you should butt into things like this anymore.” I murmured, taking my phone from her and slinking back to my room, locking the door behind me. I flopped onto my bed and had a long, silent cry.

I could sense that he wasn’t really putting in much effort, but he replied me. He could have ignored me.

As the months passed by, my love for him grew stronger, he pushed me away more and more, until we stopped talking altogether. I didn’t really like the distance between us, even if we saw each other regularly, and I kind of slipped into a slump. I was constantly lethargic, I had massive headaches and I felt a little numb to all emotions. Sometimes, I would lie on my bed, body ridden with insomnia, thinking about him, about us. What we were. But sometimes, I cried myself to sleep, as dramatic as that sounds.

My heart ached for him, I felt empty without him, and when I was with him, I felt heartbroken. I didn’t know how or what to feel. There were a few thoughts of self-harm running through my mind, and I did attempt to do it, but when I picked up the blunt butter knife, I couldn’t hurt myself. There was something in me screaming that it was a bad idea, and I would just end up sitting on the ground, unharmed on the outside but broken on the inside. I mentioned these things to Yoongi, and he was very supportive even though he didn’t quite understand.

“Yoongi, I feel really bad right now. Is this normal?”

“Y/n-ah. You shouldn’t feel bad. Like I told you, I’m very sure that Jimin doesn’t know that he’s hurting you. I won’t tell him so you won’t be ashamed, but I don’t think that this is something you want to keep up with. It’s very problematic and it’s taking a very obvious toll on you. You look so thin, and your eyes are dull. Take a little break of filming is what I think you should do.” He continued to talk but I couldn’t really hear him anymore.

I looked down at myself, my wrists, my thighs, my stomach. All of them seemed thinner than normal. But that was just because I had no appetite, I wasn’t bulimic or anorexic, I simply just didn’t feel like eating. But why?

There were so many articles talking about how thin I was. My fans were very supportive, telling me to be strong and be healthier, but they didn’t know what this felt like. Only I did.

And that’s when I decided that I was going to get over him.

I knew that it was going to be difficult and extremely painful for me, but this ‘relationship’ I had in my head was obviously not going to happen in real life. I didn’t blame Jimin at all, it was not his fault, neither was it mine. But sometimes, things just happen, or they don’t.

“I’m going to get over him, I’ve been stuck in this crush for too long already. It’s almost been a year and a half, I think I’m ready to stop.” Tears welled up in my eyes as I told Yoongi, and I had no intention of holding them back.

“I’m here for you.”

So, from then on, I promised myself that I would get over him. Every time I thought of him, I would mentally slap myself and think of something else, which sort of worked, but my mind would naturally gravitate back to him like a paperclip to some sort of magnet, and I had to repeat the process, leaving me mentally and physically drained by the end of the day.

I was a pretty vocal person, so I decided to talk to Yoongi about it. He was a good listener, quiet and sturdy, and he sat quietly next to me, hearing all my feelings through text or in person. Sometimes he gave me advice, which was mostly to naturally get over him, but most of the time he just sat there listening intently.

I tried talking to my other friends as well, leaving his name as a blank, but they all gave me the same response: if you want to get over him, just stop talking about him, that way you won’t think about him as much. But I already thought about him on a daily basis, so what was the difference if I shut up?

I couldn’t breathe.

All the air in my body felt like it was being sucked out. I felt like dying.

I just got home from a photoshoot that went terribly wrong because the camera director thought that I was not the right model and started throwing a fit. It turned out okay in the end, at least he didn’t hurt me, but it still hurt my feelings.

As my car was pulling up into my driveway, I felt nauseous. I bolted out of the car and ran straight for the toilet, where I emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl. NOt that there was much to empty, though.

I just sat on the ground, and reality hit me. Getting over him was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I had done many crazy things to prepare for a role, like egg someone’s house to study their reaction, cut my hair unevenly to see what the media would say about me, and hug random strangers on the street to see what they would do.

None of them was as hard as staying conscious while having a panic attack.

And there I was, on the floor of my bathroom, having a panic attack. My breathing was rapid and shallow, and I couldn’t think straight. All my thoughts flew out the window, but the thought of Jimin stayed with me, comforting and hurting me at the same time.

I started hysterically crying, and Seulgi started banging on the door. Everything was blurry and disoriented, like I was looking through a fisheye lens. I slammed my head on the wall a few times, trying to knock some sense into myself as I hyperventilated, but it didn’t work.

I was a mess, sobbing on the damp floor, eyes bulged out, gasping for air and comfort.

What do I do? What did I do? I can’t breathe.

I tried counting the number of light bulbs in the room to take my mind off this attack, but everything became blurrier, and I had to focus on staying conscious.

My trembling hands reached out for my phone in my pocket, I had no energy to grab so I just dragged it out and held it. It looked like it was vibrating, but it was just me.

I dialed the first number that came to mind and held it next to my ear.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Yoongi, panic, attack, please, help.” I wheezed into the phone.

“Square breathe. Four in, four hold, four out, four hold. I’ll be there, just wait for me.”

He arrived at my house with a stuffed bear and a concerned expression. I stared at him from the mountain of blankets I had buried myself under.

Seulgi had managed to open the door to the bathroom and saw me crying on the floor. She immediately managed to get me up as I was too tired to resist and brought me to my room. She was in the kitchen making me a warm drink, and I thanked the gods for my wonderful and caring sister.

“What happened?” Yoongi said as he set the bear down.

“Yoongi, I don’t know what to do.” I hiccuped and closed my eyes to soothe the headache I felt coming on. “I really want to get over him, but I feel...I feel like...I don’t know how to explain it. But, I really love him. And when I try to forget him, it hurts. And when I think of him, it hurts. Yoongi, I am hurting. My heart is hurting. I can’t do this. I’ve never been in this much pain in my life.” I started crying all over again, but this time it wasn’t hysterical. It was the silent type, where tears just fell from your eyes, making you hurt even more. My nails dug into my skin, making little crescent indents into my arm.

I was going through so much, with the fame and now this. I couldn’t take it. It was too difficult.

“Yoongi, i’m in so much pain. I want to hurt myself, but I can’t. I can’t do that to myself. I can’t continue with life like this, Yoongi, I can’t.”

I looked up and saw tears rolling down his pale cheeks, but he didn’t make an effort to wipe them away.

“It’s going to be okay.”

1 year later

“Jimin-ah! Is that you?” I yelled out, and he turned around to face me. A grin spread across his face like wildfire, and he walked towards me with a spring in his step.

“Y/n! How have you been? I haven’t seen you lin like a year!” He stepped forward and embraced me. I felt the urge to wriggle out of his touch, but I took a deep breath and hugged him back. It felt good.

“I’ve been good, a little busy with filming and photoshoots, but otherwise good! We should meet up sometime to hang out.” I smiled at him warmly, and he returned the smile with a genuine one. But, after a while, his smile faded a little, and there was a glint of worry in his eyes.

“Y/n, I need to tell you something.” He held my hands, and my breath quickened a little.

“Yoongi told me about what happened last year. About, you know, me and you.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I just wanted to apologise. I swear I didn’t intentionally hurt you. I was just a little freaked that a beautiful girl like you would love an idiot like me, so I wanted to distance myself a little. I didn’t know that I would end up hurting you. I was so immature and I really just want to start over with you. Do you forgive me?”

‘Hmm,” I pretended to think, picking at my nails, teasing him a little. “I’d have to think about that. But do you know what will make me make my decision faster? Us hanging out, sometime next week? I’ll call you.” I gave him a playful thumbs up, and he laughed as he shook his head.

“Of course, we’ll arrange a date.”

“It’s settled then.” I did a playful bow to him and started to skip away, but dipped my head backwards to say something before I left.

“Hey Jimin,” I called to him and he raised his head to look at me with confusion. “Remember when I was whipped for your ass?” He tilted his head and I flashed him a cheeky smile.

“Yeah, me neither.”

#bangtan bookclub #bt-yes-network #btssunshinenet #bts fluff #bts angst #jimin x reader #jimin fluff #jimin angst #bts jimin #park jimin #i hope yall like it !!

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blacklister214 · 7 years

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Cartoon Gaston V. Live Action Gaston

I’m a HUGE fan of the Beauty and the Beast remake, and one of the things I have yet to gush about is the changes they made to Gaston. I LOVE a complex villain, and the writers did an amazing job delivering a character who is both more sympathetic and more evil than his cartoon counterpart. SPOILERS BELOW!

Friendship With LeFou

Live action Gaston and Lefou have a much deeper relationship than their cartoon counterparts. Original LeFou is from the first minutes getting smacked by Gaston gun. When he tries to raise the potential issues with Gaston courting Belle, not only does Gaston keep interrupting him, but threatens him into silence by yanking him up by the shirt collar. He hits Lefou on the head for making a joke about Maurice that he just laughed at. He forces LeFou to wait for Maurice in a SNOW BANK, potentially for days. They are not true friends by any stretch of the imagination.

2017 Gaston on the other hand does have a friendship with LeFou, even if it is not a particularly healthy one, and completely implodes at the end. Gaston listens to LeFou when he voices concerns about Belle and actually agrees with his points about his differences from Belle. He talks to LeFou about his feelings. When LeFou “goes a little too far” during Gaston, he doesn’t fight him, hit him or otherwise shame him for it. At the end of the songs he even tells LeFou he is wonderful and asks why he hasn’t been “snatched up” by a girl yet. LeFou knows Gaston well enough to calm him during his ‘rage’ episodes.

Somehow this all makes what happens at the end so much worse, where he forces LeFou to be an accessory to murder, to lie in front of the whole town, and participate in sending an innocent man to an asylum. He also threatens to send LeFou to the asylum, if he doesn’t play along. Finally he throws LeFou into harms way during the castle fight and then leaves him there.

Level of Affection For Belle

Cartoon Gaston doesn’t know Belle as a person at all. He is so delusional about who she is, he believes marrying him would ‘make all her dreams come true’. He sets up their wedding and invites the whole town before he even proposes. When she calls him ‘primeval’ he thinks she means it as a compliment. His big effort in “wooing her” is asking her to come look at his hunting trophies. He tells her she shouldn’t, as a woman, be reading or thinking. He casually drops her book in the mud and later puts his muddy feet on top of (another?) one of her books. When Maurice says Belle has been kidnapped by a Beast, he doesn’t even bother to check her house.

Live Action Gaston DOES know who Belle is, at least a little. He acknowledges she’s as “argumentative as she is beautiful”, but says she is the only woman in town he has feelings for. He’s aware she is resisting his charms and calls her lack of flattery “outrageously attractive”. He makes more of an effort to woo her. He brings her flowers and asks her to dinner (okay asks if she’ll cook him dinner, but still better than ‘look at my trophies’). He doesn’t mock her for her reading, but instead fakes an interest in it, so she’ll like him better. He practices his marriage proposal in the mirror which includes the words ‘no one deserves you’. When the villagers mess with her invention. he tries to make her feel better, telling her that the school master never really liked him either. He tries to give her advice on how become more accepted by the village (which to him is a very important thing). He says that he’s changed and could make her happy, rather than saying that she could change and make him happy. Finally and the most sympathetic thing that he does is that when Maurice turns up with his crazy story about Belle’s abduction, despite that fact he doesn’t believe it, he’s worried enough that he accompanies Maurice on his search for her. He wasn’t just humoring Maurice to earn his blessing, he was concerned about “wolves, frostbite, and starvation.” He gave up his evening and risked the town’s scorn for following Maurice, to ensure Belle was safe.

For me Cartoon Gaston’s descent into darkest is ALL about ego. Live action Gaston on the other hand has a little Congreve going on, “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,” which maybe explains why he goes even darker than original Gaston.

Evil Actions

For the sake of comparison, let’s ignore that things both versions of Gaston do: 1) Inciting a mob to attack a sentient creature with no proof it’s at all dangerous and one person testifying that it’s not, and 2) dishonorably shooting/stabbing the Beast twice.

Live Action Gaston one ups Cartoon Gaston on every level. Cartoon Gaston invades Belle’s personal space during his proposal, but he never actually touches her, and being fair to him, her responses during his proposal are politely vague. Live Action Belle states very clearly in their conversation that she doesn’t want to marry him. Live Action Gaston responds by not only grabbing her dress, but tells her her options are basically marry him or starve.

Both Gastons treat Maurice like garbage, but again live action Gaston is the worse of the two. Cartoon Gaston plots to use the threat of Maurice being sent to the asylum to coerce Belle into marriage. Sick, but ultimately Maurice’s imprisonment wasn’t his intended end game. Live Action Gaston strikes Maurice hard enough to knock him out, then ties him up to be eaten by wolves. When that doesn’t work he tries to get rid of him via asylum.

During the Castle Raid and scenes leading up to it Gaston threatens his best friend with the asylum, offers him up to the castle staff, and then abandons him during the fight. Finally, in a small, but vicious move he tells Beast that Belle sent him. It may seem small, compared to all the other stuff, but still that is a pretty s***** thing to do.

My conclusion is the live action movies’ writers are geniuses, because the most horrific bad guys are the ones that feel like real people, layered and complicated.

#gaston #beauty and beast

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brokebecauseconcerts-blog · 7 years

Photo

Father

John

Misty

Where oh where do I begin? I try not to pick favorites, in anything I do. I think picking favorites sets people up for failure. I figure there will be one day another candidate outshines the favorite, resulting in disappointment. But fuck it, Father John Misty is my favorite. And I trust it because there is virtually nothing he can do wrong that would take that title away- and he does a lot of textbook things “wrong”.

Josh Tillman stole my heart when I heard “I’m Writing a Novel” on WFUV Radio when I was in college (around 2012) Not knowing much about him personally, I started listening to “Fear Fun” and fell in love with his music. “Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings” and “Everyman Needs a Companion” landed every mixed CD (yep, still made CDS in 2012) and I decided to dig a little deeper and actually check the dude out. WOAH he’s hot! WAIT he was in Fleet Foxes? OMG he has the exact the type of humor that I adore, equal parts witty, snarky and dark. Fuck, he has a girlfriend. I’m absolutely done, they’re getting married. I can’t remember a time I fell so hard for an artist post-emo/punk/highschool days (Think Gerard Way and Travis Barker).

However, I’m really fucking glad he was and is in such a beautiful relationship because thats how his sophomore album came to be. i wasn't sure If I’d ever love an album as much as “Fear Fun” but lo & behold: “I Love You, Honeybear” took & continues to take the damn cake. Has there ever been an album (albeit, Rumours) that has described love so honestly? It talks about the honeymoon phase in depth, the ga-ga feelings and pedestals that we put our partners on in the beginning. The way new love helps us start to feel creative again, or creative in a new, fresh way. And then after time, how love can start to get a little paranoid and jealous. It’s messy, it’s raw and it sort of made me hate his beloved Emma (who eats bread & butter like like a queen would have ostrich and cobra wine. Listen if you don't get the reference but also stop talking to me: https://open.spotify.com/track/2eg2gvPXuwZ9FyrPaLgrXi) Could you I-M-A-G-I-N-E having someone write you a love song such as that? Fun fact, I heard this song for the first time freshly after ending a 4 year relationship. Bad timing? Nah, it actually was so beautiful and uplifting that the song gave me hope and made me feel secure that I haven't found the right person yet and that I didn't just lose that person (burn). It gave me hope that I’d eventually meet someone that I could picture having a satanic christmas eve with or dance around to a mariachi band with. Spoiler Alert: FJM did help me find love. I will get to that at the end. Any who, this album ruled and continue to rules my world. The title track “I Love You, Honeybear” is about taking on the shitastic world we live in with someone you love. “Bored in the USA” is about the absurdities within our pop culture and the bullshit promise of the American Dream gone wrong. The album as a whole is romantic and existentialist and I am 100%AboutThat.com

And then we were gifted “Pure Comedy”. I write that with a sigh. Not because I am disappointed but because It’s heavy. It highlights our current political and social climate and it does so in a very dark, darker than usual way. When he realeased the video for title track, “Pure Comedy” a few short months after the election I wept at my desk. The song itself is so eerie and fantastical with the baritone sax wailing the fuck off as Donald Trump’s face slyly pops up. I Think FJM is making the point that everything happening right now is so fucking ugly and wrong that it’s absurdly funny. Not haha-funny, just...funny. As in “something smells funny”, as in our country. He attacks religion, pop-stars (gotcha, Taylor Swift), environmental issues, the delusional lifestyle of LA inhabitants, you name it. But, in true Josh Tillman fashion, and we know theres a big beating heart in there, he ends the album in a hopeful way with “In Twenty Years or So”. In the song, Tillman addresses the cosmic indifference of the universe and the existential fear that comes with it. In the first two verses he sets up the great comedy: That despite all our grand gesturing and philosophizing (with the character of Father John Misty as the embodiment of this behavior), we ultimately don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Then in the second verse he starts to assign a little more meaning to the chaos.

That in twenty years More or less This human experiment will reach its violent end But I look at you As our second drinks arrive The piano player's playing "This Must Be the Place" And it's a miracle to be alive

I *think* he’s saying, “Look, the world is fucked, we’re only getting worse, it’s too much to handle, but thank god I have you to navigate it with. And we have music, and it really all is amazing, isn't it”. I’m sorry it sounds like a basic Audrey Hepburn wannabe annotation of his beautifully written song, but It comforts me. It’s like a really elongated and philosophic way of saying “All you Need is Love”, but The Beatles beat him to it.

All in all, “Pure Comedy” takes us through a (trippy) walk of life thats starts out as that scene in Willy Wonka where they’re all taking a boat ride through the tunnel of hellish images, to a calm setting where all you want to do is hug the people you love and be left with the simple yet complex thought, “it’s all going to be okay”. Bravo FJM for creating such a mature and powerful album. I think melodically it is not for everyone, as it is much slower that what he’s done. But give it a good listen through and really listen to what he’s saying. If 2017 had to sound like anything (besides screams and tears) it would sound like “Pure Comedy”.

Kk thanks for reading.

OH WAIT, yeah I forgot this is a concert blog. Well! I saw him last night at the Kings Theatre in Flatbush, Brooklyn. A tremendously stunning place to see live music, in my opinion. He played most of “Pure Comedy” straight through, without any speeches or commentary. Nerd moment- I fuuucking love when artists do this with newly released albums. it shows they care about it, it shows they're not just trying to appease the crowd with favorites. It’s saying here is the art i just created and worked on for mad amount of time. Sit the fuck down and experience it. He did every song except the 13 minute “Leaving LA” (good call IMO) and the last two songs, yanno, the uplifiting ones. Then halfway through he broke out the oldies, a couple from “Fear Fun” and a bunch from “I Love You, Honeybear”. The whole theater was standing and dancing and watching HIM dance and holy shit I love when tall lanky men swivel their hips. Probably one of the best parts about seeing Father John Misty live is watching him break it down. He was even slow dancing with himself at one point during “Strange Encounter” and i was both turned on and hysterically laughing. One interesting point to make was that he was oddly quiet. He’s known for long on-stage rants, whether they're actually anger driven or just a comedy bit- they usually always show up on Pitchfork the next day. This was my third time seeing him and i’ve had the pleasure of hearing some of those rants and raves. This time he was quiet, appreciative and...mature? IDK I really liked it. I think it mimicked the seriousness of his newest album and demanded that you pay attention to the music and what it’s trying to say. I noticed a bunch of Brooklyn bros at the end of the show making comments like “he wasn't that funny!” “I thought he was going to talk more” and thats fine, but maybe consider why that is. After he came back on for his encore he played the last two songs on “Pure Comedy” and ended on a very special and postive note with a v sweet sun and moon setting in the background. Father John Misty is giving us hope.

Also I felt this deserved it’s own paragraph but his band absolutely blew me away. I would 100% go see them live without vocals. He had an entire orchestra + five piece band. Another additive to the experience compared to past Father John Misty concerts, as he’s always played with just a 5 piece band. It made the album come alive in the most spectacular way.

All in all, he is still my favorite. I hope to see much more from him in the future because I think he has a really really good thing going on on all levels. So back on the topic on Father John Misty and hoping to find love. JOSH, BABE. if you ever see this, I owe you some thanks. If it weren't for you and if it weren't for Tinder syncing my Facebook page likes, I never would have matched with my current partner whom we both share a massive and almost grotesque love for you & we wouldn't have anything to talk about on our first date, or a an album to makeout to for the first time. so really, thanks. At the risk of sounding like a cheese dick, It’s amazing to me that your song, the one that gave me hope and an idea of an ideal partner, led me to so much happiness. Awwwww.

Steam “Pure Comedy” & go through an existential crisis, today! https://open.spotify.com/album/3CoFoDt6zt5EKxmTpOX32b

#father john misty #pure comedy

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