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girlsbtrs · 3 years

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How Being a Woman in Hardcore Helped Me Learn to Love Myself

Written by Jen Moglia. Graphic by Laura Cross.

Since this is my first piece written for Girls Behind the Rock Show, I figured that I should introduce myself; hi, my name is Jennifer, but most people call me Jen. I live on Long Island in New York, and my favorite things include my cats, the color pink, giving gifts to my Animal Crossing villagers, and watching sports. Above all else, however, I love music.

I frequently refer to music as the love of my life. It somehow plays a role in everything that I do. I got my first iPod when I was five years old, stacked with everything from Miranda Cosgrove and Avril Lavigne to Tool and Deftones. Some of my favorite memories growing up are sitting in my pink and purple bedroom singing and dancing along to Paramore’s crushcrushcrush and Fall Out Boy’s Thnks Fr Th Mmrs on the local alternative radio station. I danced for 12 years, played cello for seven, and am currently a wannabe ukulele rockstar after buying one on impulse and starting to teach myself how to play four years ago. Even on the simplest, barely noticeable levels, music has been everywhere in my life for as long as I can remember; even now, I can’t complete a basic task without a song playing in my headphones.

Music became an even bigger part of my life when I started attending live shows. I went to my first concerts at age 10, seeing my two favorite artists - Nickelodeon boy band Big Time Rush and classic progressive rock band Rush - within one month of each other. By the time I was 15, I had been to my fair share of arena/seated shows with one or both of my parents, from Fifth Harmony to Fitz and the Tantrums to Alice in Chains. My first general admission show was seeing the Foo Fighters at Citi Field with both my mom and dad when I was 12, but my first pop-punk general admission show (yes, they’re different) came a few years later. I had the typical list of favorite bands that you would expect from a young teenager getting into alternative music: Neck Deep, Knuckle Puck, Real Friends, and State Champs.

In late 2018, I was able to see all four of these bands for the first time, and I am a firm believer that it changed the course of my life. I met, cried-during, and eventually got the setlist for Neck Deep at Stereo Garden on Long Island in September. I sang all of “Untitled” at the barricade for Knuckle Puck at SI Hall at the Fairgrounds in Syracuse in October. I had my first minor concussion scare (yay!) before Real Friends’ set at Irving Plaza in New York City in November. Finally, I crowd surfed for the first time during State Champs’ anniversary show for The Finer Things at House of Independents in Asbury Park in December. After just a few shows, I had fallen in love with this new brand of live music that I had just been introduced too. There was something so magical to me about skin covered in sweat and Sharpie marks, feet hurting from dancing in the pit all night, and meeting strangers on line outside the venue who would become your best friends and know your deepest secrets by the end of the night.

After making some friends at all of the pop-punk shows I was going to, they started to tell me that I should get into hardcore music. I was hesitant at first - the heaviest thing I had listened to at that point was nowhere near the snippets of hardcore that my friends had played for me - but, eventually, I decided to give it a chance. I was bored and home alone with nothing to do one night over the summer of 2019 when I listened to my first hardcore album, Laugh Tracks by Knocked Loose. Immediately, I got that gut feeling that you have when you know you’ve heard one of your favorite bands for the first time. I knew that this was something special that I was meant to find at this point in my life. For the rest of the summer, I worked my way through the rest of my friends’ hardcore and hardcore-adjacent recommendations, with Cost of Living by Incendiary, Stage Four by Touche Amore, You’re Not You Anymore by Counterparts, Time & Space by Turnstile, Springtime and Blind by Fiddlehead, Smile! Aren’t You Happy by Absence of Mine, Bad to my World by Backtrack, and Reality Approaches by Harms Way being some of my favorites. By the time the next school year started, I was hooked, and I already had tickets to my first few hardcore shows in the fall.

My first hardcore show was in November 2019, seeing Knocked Loose at Webster Hall in New York City - fitting, right? They were on tour supporting their new record A Different Shade of Blue, which I had become obsessed with the minute I heard it for the first time. Although I was ridiculously scared of getting stepped on and breaking all my bones (yes, that was an actual fear of mine), I had the time of my life at that show. There was something about this newer kind of live music that prompted a cathartic release, one that I hadn’t found anywhere else before. As soon as the show was over, I was counting the days until my next one.

My love for live hardcore music (and live music and hardcore music in general) has only grown since then, and that story sort of ends there. However, I want to go back to that first hardcore band that I listened to, Knocked Loose, and the album they put out that first summer that stole my heart. I was taken by storm as soon as the first notes of A Different Shade of Blue rang through my headphones, but something was different about the third track, A Serpent’s Touch, particularly the ending; I heard a voice that sounded a little bit more like my own.

This song features Emma Boster, who does vocals for one of my favorite hardcore bands right now, Dying Wish. When I heard A Serpent’s Touch for the first time, though, I had no idea who she was. I was used to the aggressive vocal delivery of frontmen in hardcore, particularly that of Knocked Loose’s Bryan Garris, but hearing it come from her changed my perspective on a lot of things. It’s not like the song was super angry and changed its tune to be lighter once the token girl came along; in her verse, Boster sings, “I watched the venom / Overcome your spirit / Jealousy holds you now / Distorting your appearance / Bleed out.” These were lyrics that held the same intensity that the lines screamed by the men held, and they sounded just as cool coming out of her mouth. As cheesy as it sounds, it had never even occurred to me that women had a place in this new world that I had discovered. The audiences in the live videos I watched (and eventually at the shows I attended) were made up of mostly men who looked bigger and older than me. When I did start going to shows, most of the non-man population consisted of my friends and I. Emma Boster, along with so many others, began to open my eyes to the fact that a place for people like me existed in this community. It didn’t matter that I had bright red hair or liked butterflies or wore pink - I was just as much a part of this magic as the men multiple feet taller than me with tattoo-covered arms, and I belonged there just as much as they did.

As time went on and I got more involved in the genre’s music and community, I discovered more bands with women in them, and it only fueled this fire of empowerment inside of me. When I felt insecure, I’d watch live sets from Krimewatch, a hardcore band from New York City, just half an hour away from my hometown. They have multiple women as members, including their energetic badass of a vocalist, Rhylli Ogiura. Year of the Knife became one of my all-time favorites, and their bassist Madison Watkins became a serious inspiration to me; the way that she can balance killing it on stage and running the cutest, most pink apparel brand I’ve ever seen (aptly titled Candy Corpse) amazes me. Even some of the bands I’ve found more recently have had an impact on me. I started listening to Initiate last year when their EP Lavender came out, and their beautifully colorful cover art caught my eye before I had heard any of their songs. Their vocalist, Crystal Pak, is also a woman, and she’s insanely talented. Discovering this kind of representation in this new universe that I had come to feel so at home in introduced me to a world of confidence and determination that I had never known before.

When people ask me why I love hardcore so much, I often give the easy answer; “the music sounds good.” If the person allows me to ramble on for a little longer, the answer becomes much more emotional and cheesy. Hardcore taught me that speaking up for what I believe in is important, and if there’s something I’m passionate about, it’s worth shouting about. I became familiar with this when listening to one of my favorite bands ever, Incendiary (the second hardcore band I ever checked out), before quickly realizing that politics are a pretty common topic within the genre - it’s what this music was practically built on. The first time I heard their vocalist Brendan Garrone singing about police brutality and injustice on songs like Force of Neglect and Sell Your Cause, I realized that there is so much more to music than just sounding good.

However, at its core, the thing I love so much about hardcore is what it taught me about being a woman. Growing up, I was the loud girl with the personality bigger than the room who always had something to say and had a never ending supply of excitement about just about everything. As I got older, I was taught that this was not okay. People didn’t like how enthusiastic I was about everything, or that I constantly had new ideas and new discoveries I wanted to talk about. As cliche as it sounds, I felt like everyone around me was trying to dull my sparkle, especially some of the men that I was encountering on a day-to-day basis. Even when I started to come to terms with my big and bright personality, in turn also coming to terms with my own femininity, I was told that this wasn’t how girls acted. I had to pick one - I could watch Disney princess movies and wear Hello Kitty hair clips, or I could be outspoken about my beliefs; but never both. The women that I mentioned earlier, along with so, so many more, helped me unlearn these toxic mindsets. Seeing someone like Emma Boster take the stage and scream ferociously for a full set helped me see that I could be a girl and still be a powerhouse. Following Madi Watkins around on social media showed me that I could love bands like Year of the Knife and also love heart-shaped purses and wear pink from head to toe. My aggression and passion didn’t make me any less of a woman, and my femininity didn’t make me any less of a force to be reckoned with.

So, at the end of this love letter to hardcore and the women who run it, I say this; thank you for teaching me that I don’t have to shrink myself anymore. It has made a world of a difference.

#jennifer moglia

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sanchoyo · 3 years

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danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

#sanchoyorambles #dp thoughts #danny phantom

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angelmichelangelo · 3 years

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i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:

- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode

- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao

- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards

- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO

- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.

- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.

- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress

- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal

- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good

- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.

- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(

- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun

- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)

- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams

- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc

- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU

- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh

- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better

there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad

#this is insanity #how did this happen #glee #tw hate crime mention #tw suicide mention #tw mental health mention #this was from my drafts lmao

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maryniss · 3 years

Text

The Hero

Fandom: Sk8 The Infinity

Summary: We found out who built Carla.

Characters:

Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom

Nanjo Kojiro | Joe

Relationships:

Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom

Rating:

General and Up Audiences

Tags:

Fluff

ofc it had to be a rewrite of the preview in ep 9

Kaoru being soft for once

Kojiro being a total simp

had to rewrite it cause the first draft got deleted

Notes: hihihi matchablossom is the coolest name for a ship pls im dying i love them so much. btw, kojiro means hero in japanese. ahahahahha

also fuck adam

and the palm trees

also inspired by a convo with my bestie @seleneslyre-writes

Why Kaoru loved Carla so much was a mystery for Kojiro. It wasnt even that great. What could she do? Just some little tricks here and there.

Well, one thing was certain. Kojiro regrets that he built Carla for Kaoru. Or, he doesnt regret it. He loves that his friend has something he treasures so deeply. He really wants Kaoru to be happy. But, still. There is this feeling in his stomach, the same feeling he has when his soup is just a little too salty, when his carbonara pasta have just too much parmesan.

Kojiro sighs and the fire on the stove does too. It is really not the time to actually be thinking about Kaoru. Especially not right now. When his pink-haired friend sits in front of him, waiting to eat something.

"Oi, are you trying to starve me to death?"

Ah, Kojiro knew this would happen. He should just focus on his food. Just his food. Just the food he was making for Kaoru...

Ah, he just remembered how Kaoru used to skate. Before Carla. Before Adam left to America. When Kaoru skated, he was feral. It didnt matter that he could get hurt. It didnt matter that he was getting the corner at a wrong angle. It was simply amazing to watch Kaoru skate then. If he was sincere, he probably fell for him when he first saw him skate. It was probably spring and Kojiro was going back from school. How old was he? 16?

Anyway, the weather was warm and all around him sakura flowers were swinging. He remembers that his feet were cold for whatever reason and that he wanted to go home as soon as possible.

He didnt see the guy with the skate. If his hair would have been a different color from the flowers that were around him, maybe he would have.

Kojiro and Kaoru clashed and fell on the hard asphalt. The sakura flowers were all around them. Or maybe it was just Kaoru's hair; Kojiro couldnt distinguish them.

And, yes that was the moment he fell. He fell hard. Never in his life had he fell harder. Even when he broke his femur and almost died. Never has Kojiro in his life been so deeply attached to something.

He tried to lie to himself weeks after that. He would say to himself that he has not fell for a skater boy. It was probably the hair confusing him.

Yeah he decided that was it.

"Ko-ji-ro" Kaoru's voice made him forget about the sixteen year old Cherry Blossom and reminded him that he still had to serve food to his clients.

"Hm? What did you say?"

"Huh? What are you thinking about? It is not fun to mock you if you wont even pay attention."

Kojiro nodded his bead mindlessly. It wasnt like him to be so sentimental, to think so much of the past. Actually, it wasnt like him to think at all.

"By the way, the food is burning." Kojiro looked at Kaoru. Then at the food. Boy, did he wish Kaoru would just joke.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck.", said he as he turned off the stove. Well, there certainly was a problem.

"Ok, big mindless gorilla. Now, I dont have patience for you to try again."

Kojiro opened his mouth just to close it again. He was shocked that he actually burned it. This hasnt happened to him since he was 15!

"Dont you have anything to drink?"

Kojiro blinked and looked at his friend's bandages. He finally spoke some coherent words.

"You sure you can drink like that?"

Kaoru relaxed on his chair and looked at his friend, a provocative gleam in his eyes. His hair was quite messy and damn that was the hottest shit Kojiro has seen. For some reason.

Come on, Kojiro. You have to stay calm. Calm like pasta. Pasta is good. Pasta is calm.

"Ok, ok, I’ll give you something to drink, but not too much, okay?"

Kaoru grinned and his golden pupils shone. Outside the restaurant, people were minding their business, not even looking twice in their direction. It felt as if they were secluded from the rest of the world. Just the two of them. Just the...

Fuck, Kojiro. Remember that pasta is good. Pasta is cool.

Kojiro got a bottle of wine from under the table.

“What is that?” Kaoru looked sceptically at the bottle of champagne.

“Just a something I bought from the local store.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t expect such a gorilla like you to drink something of quality.”

“Maybe your tastes are just too refined.”

Kojiro poured a glass for his friend and one for him, too. Kaoru smelled it and made an unpleased face.

“Hey, if you don’t want to drink it, you dont ha-”

Kaoru gulped the glass and slammed it against the table. Kojiro could see the lingering liquid on Kaoru’s lips. He would love to bend over and kiss them...softly...soft lips...

KOJIRO, PASTA. THINK ABOUT THE FUCKING PASTA.

“Ok, but you’ll pay for it.” Kaoru scoffed.

“I can afford some cheap drink. But why won’t you pour yourself a glass? Then you wont say only I drank.”

Outside the restaurant, the people did not pay a second glance to them. It was as if they were the only people existent in the world. Only the two of them..

Yeah he’d like that.

***

One bottle of champagne later and Kaoru had almost fell asleep. His hair was sprawled across the table, covering his face. Kojiro gently brushed it aside, tucking it behind a bandaged ear.

He loved this man so much and he had has since ha was 16. That’s why he built Carla for him after Adam left for America. After he had been rejected. When Adam left, not only Kaoru got hurt. Kaoru changed; he started to skate carefully, as if to not get hurt again. And it broke Kojiro’s heart to see him.

It took Kojiro five months to build Carla. He didn’t know how he did it. He hadn’t sleep for days, he remembers. But, it was worth it. It definitely was.

“Mhm-take your hands off me, you big fat go-aaah.” Kaoru yawned and the corners of Kojiro’s mouth went upward. He sighed, stood up and gently took Kaoru into his arms. The man seemed to be somewhat lighter than before. Kojiro frowned.

“...know...you...hero...” Kaoru mumbled something with his face hid in Kojiro’s broad chest.

“Mhm? What did you say?”

And all of sudden, Kaoru woke up and threw his arms around Kojiro’s neck, pulling him closer. He started kissing his face. He kissed every single inch of dark skin, Kojiro’s nose, Kojiro’s cheeks, Kojiro’s eyes.

The milky moon’s light was entering on the window, throwing silver shadows over their bodies. Kojiro was... well he was simply amazed. Never had this happened before. Never had Kaoru kissed him so softly and affectionate. And, yes, maybe it was because he was hurt, but it didn’t matter. Kojiro loved it, loved it so much, goddamit! Why had to be Adam that broke Kaoru’s heart? Why should this beautiful man stand some where else than in his arms, where he knew that he could protect him?

“Have you wondered why I always loved Carla so much?”

Kojiro didn’t say anything. He didn’t really want to know, for some reason. Actually, if he would be honest with himself, he was kind of jealous.

“You really are one dumb gorilla.”

Kaoru smiled and his body relaxed in Kojiro’s arms, whom tightened his grip.

“It’s because you made it for me, Kojiro.”

Also, a bonus that i want to happen:

Kojiro didn't came to see the race. Oh no, there was only one thing he wanted and he would definitely get it. He eyed the target. Adam was on the stage, playing his stupid game with cards and whatever. That was perfect. that way, everyone could see. Kojiro tightened his grip on his skateboard. He reached the stage in no time and patted Adam on his shoulder. "Oh, who is-" He slammed the skateboard in his face. "First, this is for breaking Cherr's heart." He punched him in the stomach and it took all he had to not punch him way downer. "And this is for breaking Cherr's face." Ok, so that was already done. No, all he had to do was to resolve the teenage love drama he had to witness some days ago. Kojiro took the mic. "Langa! Stop wasting your fucking time here. Go and see Reki!" And, with that, he left. After all, he had someone waiting for him at home.

*** maybe i ll do a fic for what did langa afterwards? idk :)

#sk8 fanfic #joe sk8 #cherry blossom #matchablossom fic

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benisasoftboi · 3 years

Text

Unorganised thoughts on Trails of Cold Steel II:

they still haven’t told me why it’s Class VII

So I liked this WAY more than CS1, thumbs up

I am annoyed that the only new location was Ymir (WHAT A COINCIDENCE that all the important places in the war were specifically ones Rean had been to already)

I just really wanna go to Parm idk

Bless Anton for showing up right at the end and giving me just enough AP to make A0

(fav Anton and Ricky subplot yet, god I love those guys)

I LOVED how tactile all the reunions were! I love it when fictional characters hug it makes me happy

I found it extremely funny that the final boss straight up tells the characters ‘hey, there’s literally no point to fighting me, you’ll gain nothing except closure I guess’ like that’s VERY on the nose and meta for a final boss

The game does have some real ending fatigue though, I don’t think we needed the epilogue

I did like the final boss though - up until that point, I had become so good at using my Dream Team of Rean, Elliot, Machias and Jusis (or Nuke-sis, as I call him, for his insane levels of arts damage output) that everything had got kinda dull for me. But final boss was actually a challenge, I had to think rather than just using the strategy that had worked on everything else

Which was Rean delays, Elliot heals/deals arts damage, Jusis drops arts nukes, and Machias does miscellaneous support/uses his link ability to keep Jusis’s EP topped up

Oh yeah I had them linked through pretty much the whole game and they hated it and it was super funny

So OH MAN, in their linked victory battle ending screen thing, Jusis goes ‘not bad, you actually held your own for once’

And it’s a little muffled, so the first time I heard it I swear I thought Machias responded with ‘you know what you can hold? Your damn top!’ and I dropped my controller. Had to go out of my way to win another battle with a link attack because no, no way-

He said ‘tongue’

Anyway, characters!

Rean: Immediately upon starting up the game I found Ride Along Estelle in my DLC inventory and equipped it in the hopes that it would inspire Rean to be a better protagonist. It... kinda worked? I don’t hate him anymore, and I was pretty hyped to learn he was Osbourne’s son

And then Lloyd showed up immediately afterwards and I was like ‘oh wait here’s a protagonist I actually LOVE, nvm bye Rean lol’

Alisa: I literally never use Alisa unless the game makes me lol she was there and I don’t hate her but also I cannot remember a single interesting thing she did. Even during her one bit of plot relevance she was overshadowed by Angelica it’s hilarious that the marketing makes her out to be the deteuragonist

Elliot: A GOOD BOY who served me incredibly well with his off the charts healing crafts, I can’t believe I started CS1 not liking him much and thinking him useless. I love the little dance he does in his idle animation

Laura: I still like Laura, I wish she was more plot relevant. I don’t feel strongly about her, but she’s always a welcome addition to any scene

Machias: Unpopular opinion probably but I really like him, even if his outfit in this game was awful. So are his alt outfits. Fashion disaster. I bought him contact lenses from a shady highway business man because he looks better without glasses. I made him ludicrously bulky, if he’d just had some kind of taunt craft to protect Jusis (squishy mage) with he’d be a perfect tank

I’m a fan of him in a ‘this is my trash son’ kind of way lol

Emma: Uhhh kinda boring which is impressive since she’s actually important and pseudo-related to Vita and all. Btw I guessed she was a witch in chapter goddamn three of CS1 after reading the folklore book, and I find it extremely wild that it’s either a dragged out, foregone conclusion if you have read the book, OR witches even existing is completely out of nowhere if you haven’t

Jusis: My favourite, because I’m basic. But like, he’s seriously the most interesting of the guys, and I made him Rean’s best friend (only one I got to rank 7 with lol). And his bonding event in Bareahard was so gooood!

I find it incredibly funny that he insists he and Machias aren’t friends because 1. Yes you are and 2. Do you even have any other non-Rean friends, guy? You literally never hang out with anyone else unless it’s plot related

Still low key ship it. Enjoy that Rean does too, apparently. Still reeling over their Trial Chest’s quote

His second S-Craft is ridiculous looking

Fie: Most interesting girl, love how she just doesn’t get flustered ever, funniest character, best girl in the game, what the HELL was that outfit

Gaius: I keep forgetting Gaius exists lol. I don’t dislike him, but he’s not very interesting to me. He’s Zin, or Noel

Millium: Man do I want to know more about Millium. Her whole thing about learning to cry... so sad and SO fascinating. What is the deal with her and Altina?!?

Sara: I hated Sara at the start of CS1. Now I adore her. God she’s just the best. Please let her interact with Schera please please please Falcom

Towa: Cutest! She’s so cute and I still love her and I did her final event even though she is TOO GOOD for Rean! She got to be a captain! I love her!

As for more minor characters - still think Angie’s great, just wish she wasn’t kinda creepy about her love of girls, deeply dislike that the game ship teases her and GEORGE, who I still otherwise find inoffensive but also, you know, male, Alfin is great, Toval is great too and I still can’t get over him being Toby, stop teasing Claire with Rean let there be one woman who isn’t into him please, oh good Sharon’s here and they don’t do that with her and she’s awesome also can’t believe I used to not like her, more Olivier always please, same with Mueller, Celine is Morgana from P5 except better in every conceivable way, Crow :(, all the Ouroboros lot are great as always, and Elise is easily my least favourite character in this franchise and can get in the sun for all I care

I read a transcript of the drama CD and hey Rean’s dad can also get in the sun for saying that his adopted son isn’t good enough to marry his biological daughter like where do you even start-

I love that I’ve gone from reacting to Ouroboros appearances like ‘oh shit oh no’ to going ‘oh shit it’s these fucking clowns (affectionate) again’

Still love Beryl. Also love Lambert

When they mentioned ‘Mueller’s friend’ I thought it would be Julia and I was so excited and then so disappointed that it was Neithardt who I still don’t like

Elliot’s dad looks ridiculous riding on top of that tank

I loved riding the bike around SO MUCH, even if it took me a while to get a hang of the controls

Aurelia Le Guin is just Edelgard Fire Emblem, right? And Bardias is Claude? Except I guess this game came first, so like, other way around

Man I loved flying around on the Courageous. Also I FINALLY got a map, all I wanted in CS1 was to see a map of the country

However, Act 1 was definitely my favourite part - the sequence where the kids have to sneak through the railway lines under the bridge to get to Garrelia is one of my favourite parts of this entire series. I kind of wanted the whole game to just be this group of teenagers trying to lay low and survive a civil war while also travelling and helping out from place to place

I uh... I want JRPG Life is Strange 2

Why is there a snowboarding minigame. I mean, I loved it, but... why is it there?

I still really miss the old battle orbment designs from Sky. The ARCUSs just aren’t as cool :(

I watched the secret Black Records scene on YouTube and I am so happy to finally have an explanation for Rosine, it was really bothering me that she seemed so out of place at a military academy

I’m very very hype to play CS3 based on the spoilers I have for who will be making appearances...

Seriously why is everything in these games azure though just say blue-

#trails of cold steel 2 #trails of cold steel #trails series #kiseki series #long post #erebonia arc

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keepyourpantsongohan · 4 years

Text

Ayesha Liveblogs Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card S1

Not to be someone born in the 90s but wow this is a change from the more simple animation style new anime truly likes things shiny, intensely bright and round lmao

Ah I guess the prologue is just a reanimation of the original anime finale? That’s fair it helps you reintegrate if it had been nineteen years for you

“That way, you’ll realize who you consider to be your Number One” Eriol’s advice has gotten less cryptic since he stopped lying

“The person I love the most... is you” Lmao didn’t Syaoran ALREADY do this confession in the final battle this is like in Naruto the Last where Naruto just forgot that Hinata had already said she loved him

Fdshkfjhkjdfhksjhfkjh wow Yukito appearing with a flower background and shine effect and softened face is this a style choice or is this just Toya Vision™

I think Toya’s voice IS different rest in pieces I still respect u bro

“How do I feel about Syaoran” [Pan across Syaoran in floral background] It is a style choice how very shojo manga of you

I’m really very confused by the references to Tokyo Tower bc I’m pretty sure they were battling at Tsukimine Shrine did I miss something??

No I just checked it was definitely at the shrine in the anime did THEY not check or were they like ‘hmmm not enough drama only Tokyo Tower for our battle backdrops pls’

This is the third or fourth flower backdrop in the first ten minutes jkhkdjhg the floral effect artists said ‘I WILL BE SILENT NO LONGER’:

I DO NOT understand the chronology of this the bear exchange was the last scene in the anime is this before or after the finale???? If it’s after then why is Syaoran still in town

Rjhkjhgkj is the entire point of redoing this episode so Sakura could also give Syaoran a bear

“Toya was too embarrassed, so he had me bring it over and went back to his room” Lmao @ Toya sending his boyfriend to be nice to his sister in his place

If this show does not stop the floral cutaways I will not be able to take it seriously it is Ouran High School Host Club levels of intensity jdshfkjshdfkjhsdk

“Will you wait for me?” “Yes! I’ll wait! I’ll be waiting!” I think they threw out all continuity just so they could establish that these feelings were for sure mutual for the setup of the sequel series

That, or the original series so heavily discarded manga continuity that they are trying to walk it back to something more accurate without any real explanation

Rffkghkfghkdfhgkj if they’re referencing the original anime bear scene what was the point of that stupid prologue SO WHAT IS THE TRUTH

“My name is Mike. I’m from Portland” LOL references to Americans in anime are always so funny

“Now I can stay in Tomoeda forever” did u bring ur mom and sisters orrr

Gosh I’m actually quite thrown by how quickly this romance escalated it took them 57 episodes to just use each other’s first names and now it’s taken them one (1) episode to Commit 4Ever At Age 13

HAHAHA do they have smart phones now? Always on the cutting edge

“I Am a Stuffed Animal” some of the quirky captions ARE worth it

“Make sure you tell him... even the smallest things” Yue has become more of a romantic since he got closure and a part-time boyfriend

“I never knew! Thanks for telling me!” “Never change, Li-kun” kjhgkjhdkj STILL MY GULLIBLE BOY some things don’t ever change

Is that a dragon?? They are really expanding this magical universe

It bears repeating the polar opposite levels of pacing from the two shows it’s only episode one and they’ve already established so many new rules and powers

I don’t blame them for it though bc they have to put forward some kind of plot progression

There were so many visual effects in that scene I couldn’t even tell what was happening lmao it’s like reading manga battles

“But why are these things happening in Tomoeda again?” I mean not to point fingers but Syaoran’s arrival is fairly recent

“Did Wei-san come back with you” “No, just me. But he said he’d come to check on me in a while” HE’S 13?? CHILD. WELFARE. LAWS!!!!

“I wish that I could’ve used it as a reference” “For what?” “To make something that would look wonderful on you” LMAO now that Syaoran and Sakura are a thing He is Included in the outfits

“’Great to have you’ so you can do what?” don’t bully ur sister Toya, u r both happy with your respective relationships now

WHAT ARE THE STAKES OF KERO PRETENDING TO BE A PLUSHIE TOYA IS LITERALLY DATING THE MOON

I understood “Gale” but what exactly is a “Siege” card this feels a little abstract

“We managed to keep him in the dark” did u tho? Again. Moon boyfriend

“So it happened in her room” Did u put a protection spell on that bear or something Syaoran

I genuinely do not tire of Syaoran and Sakura’s shared gullibility this couple is morosexual solidarity

How convenient that Sakura’s new key just announces whenever there’s a new clear card to collect lmao

I meant what I said about Toya’s love language being touching Yukito somewhere above the shoulders

“You’ll find out when the time comes” Dfddjhfjkdhf Toya what are you going to DO

Two cards in one episode is quite a bit for ep 3 I guess they’re trying to give her some more fighting options lol

Is the implication of the way Sakura just happens to be coming across magical phenomenon that Clow Reed didn’t make his cards but just harnessed magic that existed in nature

For no reason other than my own suspicion I think that something funky is going on with Syaoran’s powers

“That person was almost the same height as me” I mean so was Eriol

“Sakura and the Lovely Transfer Student” we know by now transfer students mean that shit’s about to get real

“And then you slept with your belly uncovered” “I did not!” Toya’s gentle bullying to distract Sakura is always weirdly sweet

“Your brother is so funny Sakura” CHIHARU’S RIGHT STAN TOYA

SHINOMOTO ARE YOU SHITTING ME JHDFGHDGDFDD WHY DOES IT RHYME

“I hope we can be friends” if I know anything about this show this means she’s going to do something very shady immediately

I wonder if this will be the season that Tomoyo’s filming of everything Sakura does finally becomes plot relevant

I do think it’s weird that Sakura trusted a new key without questioning it

“I’m changing back” LOL @ YUE TRANSFORMING INTO YUKITO JUST TO AVOID PEOPLE I’M STARTING TO REALLY LIKE HIM

DGSJGSJDGDJGSFFSJDHJS YUKITO APOLOGIZING FOR YUE LEAVING RUDELY THAT’S MY POLITE AND HANDSOME MAN WHO HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE

I KNEW Syaoran was being suspicious!!! Talking about Sakura with Eriol in secret phone calls

“I came here to be ready for that time, when it comes” current theory is that Syaoran has NO powers and that’s why he is not running out of his classroom for teenage battles with the Forces of Nature

“How much has Yukito-san been eating?” “Not as much as he did when you were in elementary school, but he still eats a lot for his size” This must be a strange conversation for their dad to listen to but I like how this is code for Does Yukito Have Magical Chakra Exhaustion

“Um, I just... Phone call” said Sakura, as she was forcibly moonwalked away right in front of her friends’ eyes

LOL is Tomoyo being unable to film Sakura going to be a recurring joke

“Don’t worry about it” “I have to, when it’s about you” Syaoran really going Full Boyfriend Mode huh

I’ve never questioned it in until precisely this moment but who pays Kero’s phone bill?? Is it Tomoyo? Who is the account holder for this stuffed animal did she establish Kero as a legal person

“Momo-chan, let’s be friends okay?” I feel like this has to be immediate foreshadowing for Momo being alive

[Cucumber cut incorrectly] “Gotta show Yuki” hjkfhksjdhfkjhd rude of Toya but the caption kills me

Ddjkhfkjdhfjkdhfkjh the pure juxtaposition of this energy:

Tomoyo: They have other things to do

Chiharu, thinking that it’s a romance thing: [Winks]

Syaoran and Sakura: [In the shadows while threatening music plays]

“I didn’t feel... anything” oh NO why r their magic senses NOT tingling

I feel like I have been had, they had an episode called the “Song of the Moon” and Yukito didn’t even show up?? Rude

SCREAM this magical FaceTime call is much funnier than I could’ve imagined

“Yukito is in a recitation club, which he takes very seriously” GDGJFGJGJHGDG Yue very respectful of not occupying Yukito’s time with magical shenanigans LMAO

“And we’ll make them the cutest oxygen masks you’ve ever seen” Tomoyo, like the background effects artists in this anime, will not be stopped

Well colour me inaccurate I guess Syaoran can use his powers and he can do a fancy new sword thing

I like this flying scarf it’s the first of the new cards with a personality

Poor Syaoran always so serious to being a Teenage Wizard is hard

Wow I bet there’s NOTHING weird about the fact Akiho lives in Eriol’s house it’s just pure happenstance (said no one)

“Could we um, go out together?” I think this is the first time someone has explicitly scheduled a date in all 80+ episodes

I really do enjoy Toya’s never-ending list of temp jobs lmao

“Still going on, huh?” Toya’s older brother senses are unparalleled

LMAO IS THIS A 15 YEAR OLD BUTLER

Ghgjhfjfjhfjh what is the scale for these heights why is Kaito twice the height of these 13-year-olds

Unsubtle shot of this man’s pocket watch echoing Sakura’s dream

I’ve never seen a more Rich Person Reaction than Akiho getting upset that Katio, a service worker, stated that taking care of her was his job hfkjdhfkjh

“I came to Japan because there was a book I wanted”

1. VERY Rich Person thing to say

2. Wow I wonder which of you has a MAGICAL BOOK that’s been doing weird things lately

“What language is it” “I don’t know, but I’ve learned to read it” me when I hear people speak South Asian languages LMAO

Why does everyone keep referencing the Time That’s Coming? Toya, Syaoran, Eriol... they’ve all caught Mizuki’s affliction of vague and unhelpful prophecies

*One more go to jail Mizuki for the road

I hope that these stupid FaceTime calls with Yue are in EVERY episode from now on

Does the fact that he’s listed as Yue-san in Sakura’s phone mean that there’s a phone for each personality omg

OMG I just realized the ep title (Sakura’s Thrilling Aquarium Visit) must be a throwback to “Sakura’s Heart-Racing First Date” which was not a date but took place at an aquarium. Cute!!

GJHGSHJGFSGH Yue is me whenever people talk about video games:

Kero: Hey, Yue, play an online game with me

Yue: [Hangs up immediately]

“I made you wait” “Nah, I got here too early. It’s still twelve minutes before our meeting time.” I think she and Yukito had this exact exchange in that early ep

“She doesn’t have magical powers, but she’s oddly perceptive” I hope that Meilin’s one and only magical power is precognition lmao

Omg every time someone in this show speaks English I am so thrown

“I wasn’t sure how I should look at him” awww Syaoran trying to re-establish himself in the family

I guess this aquarium HAS changed in that it developed a security system for when the tank breaks [youknowwhathatisgrowth.gif]

LOL I guess it’s convenient to have an invisibility cloak when ur breaking and entering I was wondering how they were going to deal with their criminal behaviour in the age of cameras

Ep 10. Sakura’s Unbelievable Juvenile Detention Centre

Weel weel weel looks like Sakura isn’t the only one with new powers nice ice Syaoran!! I missed their tag team fights

OH MY GOD IF THIS PHOTO ALBUM ACCEPTS THE CONTINUITY OF THE SECOND MOVIE THEN SAKURA AND SYAORAN HAVE ALREADY! DONE! THEIR! CONFESSIONS! WOULD YOU PICK A LANE

“You want the person you like to eat good food” Besides the fact Kaito is twice your height and therefore probably an adult... u should not make advances on people u employ - this is all very bad-vibes-no-jutsu

I am shocked that it took this long for Sakura to notice that her new cards paralleled the old cards

Syaoran is staring at Kaito like he murdered his spouse in a previous life

“So he has Moon magic too?” UHHHH WAS SYAORAN’S MAGIC ALWAYS MOON-BASED I FEEL LIKE THAT’S NOT CLEAR

Also very unclear why Eriol keeps leaving her on read if he’s talking to Syaoran what

I love how Kero has independent friendships and communications with both Yukito and Tomoyo lmao

How many times has Penguin Park been destroyed by now

“Perhaps your dream is gradually progressing” Progressing into what exactly the Battle of the Nice Thirteen-Year-Olds

Why is it that magic in this universe comes with above-average athletic ability LOL

Once again, without a body/personification, these cards seem harsh

Kaito seems like too much of a red herring a la Mizuki so I’m going to assume the other presence we see is someone we either haven’t met yet or smth really fucked up with the rest of the main cast

I’d lose my mind if it was Toya but I genuinely hope not he’s too nice

I honestly missed Meilin ever since she chilled out a bit she’s very fun

“The emoji in her message definitely looked thrilled” [Bob Dylan voice] For the times they are a-changin’.....

“I don’t know when it’ll happen, but when it does you’ll know” Toya.......

Toya’s absolutely nonplussed reaction to his Moon Boyfriend never ceases to amaze

Yukito: [Sighs and floats into the air to wrap in a wing cocoon]

Toya: [Sitting and staring unfazed]

Also am I crazy or was that transformation on purpose bc it really had the energy of ‘Fine if you won’t talk to me maybe you’ll talk to Rude Magical Me!!’

“Did I change again?” GUESS NOT LMAO

Also it’s fun how as different as Yukito and Yue are, their shared brain cell says ‘TOYA COMMUNICATE WITH MEE’

“But ever since Syaoran came back, he’s had something important on his mind” People don’t give Sakura enough credit for her emotional intelligence

Can we take a minute to appreciate Sakura’s outfit fashion ICON

What is this Furry card that makes u dress up in ears and a tail lmao

“I’ll treasure [these cookies]” “I’d rather you ate them” LOL

My Furry card prediction gets more and more accurate with each passing second (even a broken clock’s right twice a day)

Uhhhhh Syaoran what did u sell to the moon devil to be able to cut through the space-time continuum

Sakura: NO THAT’S MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SYAORAN

SCREAM this family and their circle of hair cutting (also if Yukito cuts Toya’s hair, does Toya cut Yukito’s? Or does it not grow bc magic jfhkfh)

“I’m pretty sure that was middle school English” Sakura hearing English is me hearing French LMAO

“Sucks, doesn’t he?” MEILIN PLS

Djhfjkdhkjfhjk Tomoyo’s immediate rage at being the centre of attention

SAKURA DOING MAGIC RIGHT IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE OMG

“Surround the entire mansion” Very subtle Sakura I’m sure no one in your whole town will notice

“I hear her father specializes in archaeology, so he might have some interesting books” “Have I mentioned Sakura-san’s father to you before?” [Dramatic cut in music] WELL

Oh my GOD did Kaito just turn back time bc he regretted what he said immediately? Honestly a mood

Also: BITCH

“You’re so alike, and not just because of your names” I have to say I’ve been thinking since her first appearance that Akiho looks like Nadeshiko so if they’re not related I will be surprised

“Sometimes watching good people makes me feel sad” well damn Meilin

I’m going to guess this Teenage Robot is the equivalent of the fight card that Meilin fought upon her introduction

Aw HELL YEAH SAKURA AND MEILIN TAG TEAM FIGHT WOOOO

“Aren’t you and Syaoran doing too much for those you care about, and forgetting to care about yourselves?” WELL DAMN MEILIN U R THE NEW TEENAGE SUPERHERO THERAPIST

“Can I call you ‘Sakura’ from now on, too?” AHHH THESE KIDS

LMAO AMAZING IT TOOK 13 STRAIGHT EPISODES FOR MOMO TO EVEN TWITCH

“We are indeed progressing... toward that time” I feel THREATENED

Once again I cannot stress strongly enough how much I love physical comedy

Sakura: They don’t seem to be causing any harm

The dessert rolls:

GOD the roll cakes eating each other to form one giant monster Babushka doll roll cake jhfjkdhgkdjhgkj incredible

EXCUSE ME MA’AM WHY WAS THERE A DEMON GIRL IN THE REFLECTION OF THIS SHATTERED CARD

“Please laugh again” Akiho is v nice I really hope Kaito isn’t mean

“Once a magical contract is formed, it can’t be broken, unless something really serious happens” [Quirrel voice] Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is?

“What do you feel” “I think it’s a card” Very observant Sakura I think they gathered that

When Sakura gets all four of the base elements is Momo going to turn into a 200 pound giant rabbit

I like that every time Toya is concerned about Sakura, Yue appears suddenly to discuss the matter seriously with him [Gay and Wondorous Life of Caleb Gallo voice] He’s in this relationship!!

“When you’re angry or upset, it shows on your face, even if you don’t say it” Yue IS in this relationship woooow

“When humans realize they’re talking to a fox, they won’t sell you mittens. In fact, they’ll catch you and put you in a cage.” UH who is the fox in this metaphor not Sakura I hope???

Years later Syaoran is still winded if Sakura makes too much eye contact khgkghkjg

The fact that Yukito reads at a children’s hospital... truly one of The Nicest Not-Humans On Earth

Well with each passing episode we have less and less reasons to trust these cards and Kaito the Young Magical Butler

Ever since Kaito reversed time, I cannot shake the persistent thought that Akiho IS Nadeshiko. That’d be weird but u know... I’ve seen this show do weirder

“Your sweets look better” “No, yours!” Grandpa witnessing this date

“Also if Sakura-chan goes to college or wants to do something else, he wants to help” TOYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“Any further, and you won’t be able to return” NADESHIKO BE MORE SPECIFIC

“It was my robe” Wait what ur family is a magical society or smth and somehow u don’t know Akiho??? How in the whomst

Everyone in this anime is like, ‘Haha Yue looks mad’ as if Yue does not look mad every second that he’s alive

KHKJHKFJHKJFHJ GRANDPA MASAKI REALLY GONNA GIVE SAKURA A HOUSE AND TOYA NOTHING LMAO WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BE THE LEAST FAVOURITE GREAT-GRANDCHILD LOL

“Nadeshiko would talk to things that weren’t there, and try to reach an understanding with things that couldn’t talk” 91 EPISODES LATER AND MR. KINOMOTO FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGES MAGIC?? OKAY

AND HE KNEW BOTH SAKURA AND TOYA HAVE HAD MAGICAL PROBLEMS FOR 3 YEARS!!! MR. KINOMOTO WHAT KIND OF HANDS-OFF PARENTING

“I want me to tell me [about your pain] too” wow this is the CALL-OUT EPISODE

“The house they live in was once torn down and replaced with an amusement park” were the continuity errors of accepting the second movie... A PLOT POINT?!?!?!

DAMN U KAITO I REALLY WANTED THINGS TO BE OKAY FOR AKIHO

“But I’ve got a great poker face” “Yes you do. But Yue does not” JKHDKJGHKJSHGKJHDKJGHSDJGHKJH BY DIALOGUE ALONE IT’S LIKE WHENEVER ANYONE SEES YUE’S FACE TWITCH IT MEANS HE’S HAVING AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN

Yue: Evil magic looming overhead is bad for your wifi signal actually

“I will obtain these new cards. So I can use the relic I took from the association to activate that magic spell” Kaito really laying out his motivations out loud in a library. Insensible. Vague and probably misleading. 1/10 villainous monologue

Sakura’s powers are WILD she can duplicate the strength of her magic

“Power that’s too strong will bring unhappiness to its owner” SYAORAN :((

I feel like the only way this can end is Toya giving Sakura magical noogie so she doesn’t have to carry all of her powers like the reverse of what he did for Yue-kito

THERE IS TOO LITTLE TIME LEFT IN THIS SHOW FOR ALL THE ANSWERS I NEED THERE’S ONLY 20 MINUTES AHHHH

THERE ARE 12 MINUTES LEFT AND STILL NO ANSWERS!!! WHAT HAPPENSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I GOT ABSOLUTELY NO ANSWERS OH MY GOD?!?!?!?!

#ayesha talks anime #ayesha liveblog ccs #liveblogging #long post

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alexmanesairstream · 4 years

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Okay. Time for my ramblings. You're all free to not read a word of this but I just needed to put my thoughts out there. So. Going into s2, my only reason for watching the show was seeing Alex Manes (bc Tyler is one of my all time favourite actors and also just ALEX MANES). But after seeing the promo and fan chatter before the premier I admit getting my hopes up and becoming a little more open to the entire show as a whole again. I had hoped that s2 would be a huge improvement in terms of writing, consistency, good representation and overall storytelling. Anyways, here’s just some thoughts I’ve had after the first episode if you care to read it. I've left the Malex (and Maria) thoughts to the end bc I wanted to speak about the entire episode first. The Malex part is right at the end if anyone is reading this and only wants to read that part.

Firstly, the episode felt very disconnected. I know there was a time jump but that also left so many questions unanswered.

Kyle and Alex are well aware of the alien secret, so it made no sense that they were in the dark about Rosa being alive and Max being dead. I would've thought that both of them would've been made aware of it immediately.

This may be more of a personal preference but I've always been more interested in sci-fi aspects of the show since I always find supernatural elements on shows to become repetitive and far fetched (yes I know it's supernatural but I've always liked when there was a scientific or logical explanation behind something). Ep1 (and I know Carina said this season would explore supernatural elements and not the sci-fi aspects of it) hinted a very big supernatural storyline which I wasn't too keen on- it just gave off some big vampire diaries 'the other side' vibes. I really wish they would've explores a more unique and original storyline rather than something so repetitive with regards to Max.

Now for the science and little sci-fi parts, I know they're strained for time so there's a lot that they have to leave out but most of the science seemed far fetched or rather lacking any good grounding explanation. I get that it's a show but I would've liked for it to have made some sense rather than the random stuff Michael and Liz would say that seemingly came out of thin air. Especially when they were having their science Bro moments and interacting with substances etc- where are these substances from? What to they do? How did you get it? Idk maybe I'm being overly obsessive over this but it irks me bc I always lose interest when I can't coherently follow a storyline with logic

Rosa being back. I don't have much to say on this. The sister dynamic is kinda cute. I really don't like this weird supernatural connection thing she has with Max. Like I said, very vampire diaries like and it's just not making sense (maybe I didn't pay close enough attention idk). Also, can we get some clarity on her age. She was 19 when she died. So she should be 29 in the present day. But she mentioned something about being the hottest 31 year old when Liz told her to get a license in California. So what's up with that.

Isobel pregnancy : Yeah there's a lot I could say here. I'm assuming they're trying to do a storyline on abortion and a woman's right to her own body which I would be eager to see but at the same time, Isobel being pregnant with her dead abusive rapist's baby seems a lot like it was done for drama (sigh). It also has me wondering how since it was clear in s1 that Isobel didn't want children while Noah did- obviously she may have changed her mind after their reconciliation after she came out of the pod and also bc I accidents happen (do condoms even work with aliens???).

Now for the Malex and Maria part of it:

Since Alex was not aware of Max dying, wouldn't he have then made an effort to speak to Michael again in those two weeks since the finale. I would understand him wanting to give Michael space if he had known about Max dying but since he didn't know, did he just accept that Michael left him waiting at the trailer and leave it at that until after Noah's funeral? That just doesn't make sense to me but moving on

So Michael says that Alex told him he was going to leave the airforce to play music. Lol lots to get into here. Firstly, kinda strange that Alex would have told him that specifically that night in the trailer. Also, I was under the impression that what we were shown on screen was all that there was in that interaction. I don't see at which point Alex could've mentioned him leaving the airforce before Michael had to run out. Secondly, Alex leaving the airforce to play music? That just seems hella out of character and frankly completely unrealistic. Alex has spent the last 10 years gaining different skills, learning new things about himself, evolving and changing as a person. While he may have always had this dream about making music the fact is most people end up studying something or doing something in a different direction than their teenage self wanted. Alex is no different. While he may have wanted to leave the airforce it just doesn't seem plausible that he'd want to explore an entirely new career path as a musician. It would've made more sense for him to go into a career with cyber security and his skills in hacking, coding and programming instead. Also, unless he's got hell money from somewhere it's just completely unrealistic. He's a veteran (there are so many homeless, unemployed, uninsured, struggling veterans) who surely would need a stable income. It just feels like it's some a random storyline to have when there's been no indication of it, and it's completely out of character for Alex to decide to pursue music after 10 years in the airforce when we aren't even sure if he's done anything related to it in the last 10 years. Maybe I'm being harsh because personally I would've liked Alex to pursue something with the skills he gained in the airforce and also bc I rarely believe anyone is the same person with the same dreams and passions they had when they were a teenager. I mean, we all grow, evolve and change and that's okay. I would've really liked for Alex storyline to have been along those lines- taking what he's learned out of something he didn't necessarily want and taking control of who he is with those skills and his future (apparently in order to be a captain and also to be a code breaker Alex would've need to have gone to college while in the airforce). Idk maybe I'm bias bc I absolutely love seeing BAMF Alex Manes and how smart he is when he's working and code breaking.

Hmm Alex has a house. Like an actual house. And not a single person in the fandom knew this. In fact if Carina hadn't clarified on Twitter, we'd all be confused as hell. Literally everyone thought he lived at the cabin and rightfully so. It also makes me question why Alex had been at the cabin the day Kyle was there if he doesn't live at the cabin. But anyways small details. I'm trying not to be petty. I also really would like to know how Michael knows where Alex lives hmmm

I absolutely loved that Alex's first thought was to give Michael a guitar bc he remembers what he lost when Jesse ruined his hand. I am HERE for Alex Manes' kindness and wholesomeness.

Alex has PTSD. He would never be sitting with his back towards an entry point and music blaring loudly while he didn't have his prosthetic on. Carina responded on Twitter saying his PTSD is from childhood and not the war. I can't really understand how the war and losing a limb would not affect him and his existing PTSD at all. But again, I'll overlook this inconsistency

Michael's little confrontation speech to Alex- totally get it. It makes a lot of sense from Michael's perspective. I do however still have an issue with this thing of Alex 'leaving'. The ONLY time Alex actively left was when he enlisted. Any time after that was beyond his control. He was in the military. He had no choice. I really wish we could at some point see how all of this affected Alex instead of constantly seeing it from a one- sided Michael perspective.

And now Maria and Michael. Just a few words. What the fuck. I say all of this as someone who absolutely believes Malex shouldn't be together right now and who is fully on board with them just being friends right now:

- As someone who loved Maria in the first season and as a woman of colour, I fucking hate her storyline and what they're making her character do. It was cringe and desperate and humiliating for her to be running after Michael after one kiss. And also, SO out of character for her. Maria Deluca is her own saviour and would never run after someone who behaved the way Michael had in that ep. She would abso-fucking-lutely not chase after a man and put herself out there in such a desperate way like that.

- Secondly, has she just forgotten Alex exists? This is so not the Maria we know. Chasing after a man for something when he's not giving anything back in return and not even bothering to speak to Alex or attempt any sort of communication with him before she continues pursuing Michael. It makes no sense. I only see the Maria hate escalating at this point and I don't blame anyone for it. At this point she 100% deserves it. It's so so out of character for her not to have spoken to Alex and to continue pursuing Michael before speaking to Alex.

Honestly I've said it since the start- I hate love triangles and this one in particular rubs me the wrong way for so many reasons. I honestly don't see how we can redeem Maria's character after this mess. The whole Michael and Maria thing is just messy (and not in a cool dramatic TV show way), and is for a lot of us straight up character assassination for both Michael and Maria. I'm just so put off by both of their characters. If they were adamant about this storyline, I wish they'd done it and left Alex out from the start (I said Kylex rights!).

In conclusion, it's a shitshow. The show is just all over the place and the writing doesn't seem to have improved from the inconsistencies and plot holes. There's a lot more I could say but this was all I thought about right now for that episode. I also have so many thoughts on what Carina has recently said but I'm not in the right space of mind to address that rn. She's hell problematic lmao. But anyways, going forward, I'm just here for my Tyler Blackburn and watching him kill it as Alex Manes and I'm kinda really excited to see him with his new love interest.

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youtiaoshutiao · 5 years

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go go squid! eps 1-30 - thoughts

i’ve actually read the novel for this a few years ago as a teen and it was just alright in my estimation, it was cute overall and a fun read but i largely forgot about it in the past few years. checked out the drama out of curiosity as to how they’d adapt it. have watched up to ep 30 at this point and i’d say i’m rather ambivalent (though i’m still pretty engaged) so here’s some rambling about my thoughts about my watch so far.

Ngl, the first 7 eps were unbearable to watch imo. I have a super low tolerance for secondhand embarrassment when watching movies and dramas (which is why i can’t get behind some high school movies/dramas) and it was uttermost torture watching tongnian stalk her way (very incompetently too, i must add) to k&k’s resting quarters, even getting his identity wrong (despite being fully capable of baidu searching him given that she knew his full name + found out he was part of a famous team), intending to go to watch him the next day but not even thinking about buying tickets till she was actually at the event venue and then being all righteous about not buying tickets from scalpers... Worrying about causing a misunderstanding among gun’s trainees yet continually getting near him and hence causing a misunderstanding anyway... Though i knew that it was part of her character setup (high iq genius but nil experience in love?) but i couldn’t bear to watch all this unfold haha. Coupled with the very draggy endless flashback scenes and all the testosterone-pumped angst about solo (and now 30 eps in i’m very into Li Xian’s turn as han shangyan but my eyebrows were hurting watching him furrow his brow 24/7) i was almost prepared to quit but was told that everything would get better around ep 8.

And lo and behold... it did. As predicted, around ep 8/9 a switch flipped and i began to be more engaged and enjoy the drama more. I was trying to pinpoint what exactly changed my opinion and i think above all, it was the character of han shangyan that really captivated/held my interest. I started seeing gun not just as the typical 霸道总裁 trope that’s just meant to be confident and commanding and therefore hot but more as a very complex and well fleshed out human (more so than the novel i think, but i can’t really remember at this point as it’s been years, and anyway the novel is a pretty short book while this drama is considered quite long for a modern fluffy cdrama thus allowing more room for exploration).

I really appreciated seeing all the dualities to his character, e.g. his god-like status in his industry and being the idol of thousands and thousands of youth yet seeing how this celebrity status does not translate to being estimated highly by the people around him, and how it does feed into his ideas and perception of himself to a certain extent, though he is also adamant on doing what he deems right, not caring what people think. How he as a leader of k&k appears unflappable, in control, and is determined, eyes fixed on the prize; yet his softness and care for his boys and the elderly he employs and his past teammates shine through in quiet moments and little actions. He has lofty dreams and big goals and aspirations for the future of his team, yet he is also a man bogged down by tons of emotional baggage, stuck in ruts of nostalgia and guilt and unprocessed anger about the past and unable to let go of past enmities or relations. Even his small little quirks amuse/intrigue me, like his sucking on sweets whenever he’s bothered, like his weird obsession with that one Beyond song and playing it whenever he’s Brooding about his past (though it’s probably just the drama’s way of shilling Netease Music lol)

Reading Han Shangyan’s personality/character arc as such, I found myself very invested in what was happening to him/what he was doing/his interactions with the other characters in the story. Even the flashback scenes and SP team scenes that I found very droll initially and still do to a certain extent now held more of my interest as a gateway to understand HSY more. He’s definitely not a perfect character and is deeply flawed, but I appreciated that they portrayed him in such a manner as he definitely felt more real. (though when it came to how this comes into play with regards to his r/ship with Tong Nian, I had rather mixed feelings about it, which I’ll elaborate on further below)

Similarly, I also enjoyed the fleshing out of side characters like Mi Shaofei, Solo, Su Cheng, Xiao Ai etc. Mi Shaofei’s arc especially was very moving and wistful to me, seeing him have his dream of being a champion rekindled at the start of the drama and going back to be a competitive CTF athlete, yet having his age and his lack of practice cause him to not be in top form and doing badly, and eventually making the decision to retire. Seeing him express regret having quit together with Han Shangyan back in the day in a pique of anger and not having this arc resolve in a neat, fulfilling way - I really appreciated it and thought it illuminated quite a sobering reality that timing and circumstances may not always yield the best outcome, that actions from the past that you thought were the right thing to do may come back to haunt you, that you may regret your past actions, that you may have to close the door on certain things even if you really want it. And I really like Mi Shaofei’s personality as well, seeing how he has a good read on his friends’ temperaments and personalities and knows how to diffuse tense situations (especially when Han Shangyan is being prickly and abrasive), how he values the collective above himself, like being happy that SP team scores improved greatly even when the improvement came about due to his retirement. I’m glad that he now has a new path which he can work towards his original dream of being a champion, albeit in a different way that he had initially envisioned.

The main thing niggling at me/making me feel conflicted as I watch the drama is actually Tong Nian’s character/Tong Nian and HSY’s relationship. I don’t really know how to explain what exactly bothers me so much about this, but here’s a shoddy attempt:

In comparison to how well fleshed out Han Shang Yan’s character arc is, Tong Nian’s arc sadly feels very underwhelming in comparison, and I wish similar character development was afforded to her character. 30 episodes in, I literally know nothing about her inner thoughts, motivations, character etc that is not Gun-related gushing. And this is all the more a pity given that her character’s setup was so cool - being so smart and intelligent, being so advanced in a STEM field, also having such a successful online career out of her singing hobby - all these hint at such an interesting female lead, but ultimately feels like an empty shell of a person. There really is no scene where she exists independently, separate from Gun or Gun-related thoughts pervading her mind - e.g. even when she is pitching some cool project idea showcasing her computing skills to the police department, she’s hung up on Gun after breaking up with him; when she’s invigilating a class she’s still thinking about him; she’s coding some new game for him; she’s doing some debugging... but that’s because she’s devastated after he behaved in a shit way towards her; she’s at some tryouts to be the singer for the ctf theme song! she’s showcasing her singing! but somehow... the show still managed to make it all about how she’s heartbroken over him; she uploaded a new song! ... but it’s about how she’s in love with him...

The show tells me she has a life outside of her crush on Gun, but it doesn’t show it as such. Though I also understand that this is due to the drama being centered on esports and hence involving HSY more, and Tong Nian is an outsider to the esports scene and thus her own activities would not be featured as much. It is possible that should they have chosen to feature more about Tong Nian, it might have affected the cohesiveness and pacing and how tight the plot is. But but but... she is the female lead, after all?? I literally know more about Mi Shaofei than about Tong Nian, and he is a supporting character! And precisely because the show did such a good job of fleshing out HSY, whose job and aspiration and passion and friendship-related angst etc lend a lot of fodder to shape his character and that is totally unrelated to his romance with Tong Nian, Tong Nian’s character development seems really lacking in gravitas in comparison.

This sense of imbalance spills over to my perception of them as a couple. I definitely am not opposed to or feel squicked out by huge age gaps in principle, as long as there isn’t some power imbalance and no teenagers are involved. But something about the combination of Tong Nian being all about Han Shangyan (at least that’s how the drama portrayed it, even if it was unintentional) while Tong Nian is only one part of Han Shangyan’s life + Tong Nian’s almost worshipful sentiments towards Han Shangyan + the show’s tendency to highlight how much sleep or time she sacrifices to do stuff for him, on top of the huge age gap made me slightly uncomfortable...?

I think I felt it especially during the plot arc of the second break up. The events of this arc were standard asian drama angst fare - interference from well meaning but biased parent leading to melodramatic wallowing in angst and mean behaviour attempting to drive the other party away... If purely viewing this arc from the lens of character exploration, I think the (rather ridiculous) events in that arc like HSY promising Tong Nian’s mother to not bother Tong Nian anymore and all his subsequent shitty behaviour towards Tong Nian shed some light on HSY’s inner self abasement and 自卑感 and was fascinating in that regard. But then seeing how Tong Nian who definitely puts him on a pedestal just internalised all of that horrible behaviour and accepted it and even kept on excusing his actions or asking him if she had done something wrong or if he was mad at her about the cat (though i also was mad that she just got a pet as a gift without asking beforehand lolol) or if he wanted her to do anything... that was SO painful to watch. (Until he implied that he cheated on her, thankfully she drew a line at that!!) I felt like it was bordering on cold violence to some extent? Not that any part of the second break up was Tong Nian’s fault, but just the way the show portrayed Gun’s way of pushing Tong Nian away and Tong Nian’s subsequent response made it harder to just dismiss the entire saga as just pure asian drama typical noble idiocy angst and left a really bad taste in my mouth. And above all what made me quite exasperated was how in the end, HSY didn’t even apologise to Tong Nian about it, and even attempted (and was successful) to get back into her good graces by listing all the reasons why he should be pitied and hence activating Tong Nian’s ‘Han Shangyan is so pitiful and I love him and want to give him everything’ mode, and being so smug about it??

(I feel like I come off as being rather inconsistent here lolol, earlier gushing about how much I love HSY’s character and now ranting about him. I think I just feel very confused about what to feel when watching the drama, and partially I think it’s because the entire romantic plot and all the events of the drama... require some suspension of belief and are not really very cohesive or well plotted, in the sense that it doesn’t seem to flow organically together with the characters’ emotions and responses? i.e. the character’s emotions/motivations/thoughts don’t correspond to their subsequent actions and the other characters’ subsequent responses to said action doesn’t seem proportional at times. So at certain plot points like how HSY got back together with Tong Nian so easily I’m not sure if I’m supposed to feel outraged or just take it in my stride?? I’m not sure if I’m making sense)

Oh, another thing that bothered me was this weird machoism (?? not sure how to explain it) that I sensed at some parts. An example off the top of my mind would be the entire sequence of HSY and Mi Shaofei going out together after Mi Shaofei announced his retirement, with Tong Nian and Yaya trailing at their heels. Once again, from a character development angle, I enjoyed the dialogues between MSF and HSY, between MSF and Yaya. But seeing MSF and HSY pass their coats to Yaya and Tong Nian then embarking on some bromantic tension-filled run together, while Yaya and Tong Nian are left hovering around waiting for them to return and holding their coats; or seeing MSF and HSY give each other Meaningful Looks and then downing a whole bowl of alcohol in some testosterone-fuelled display of Manly Sorrow and Solidarity as Tong Nian and Yaya watch from the sides, worried... Then having Tong Nian and Yaya each attempting to comfort their respective men... idk, i think coupled with the fact that the show is centred around esports, and most of the esports characters are male, and a larger proportion the main female characters we see are not directly involved and are more on the sidelines, it just gives off the sense of like, the men in this drama having their struggles, their aspirations, their sorrows be forefront and central in the plot, while the women are just there to fawn over them and support from the sidelines and tend to the guys’ emotional needs and baby them when they are being grown children. I’m definitely not explaining this well enough and I’m not sure if my impression is valid or I’m just being a hater or being subconsciously misogynistic and projecting or something lol. I’d love to hear what anyone thinks heh.

Thankfully, that part of the plot is over and now the romance part of the drama seems to be settled and the drama I’m assuming is gearing up towards winning the championships. This is promising haha because personally feel like the esports plotline is more captivating than the romance. I sense that now that Tong Nian/Gun are a properly established relationship and both are fully on board the dynamic might change a bit so I shall see how I feel about their relationship in the last quarter of the drama!

With regards to the cast, there was all round quite solid acting imo. I thought Li Xian seemed to be overdoing it with the frowning and grouchiness initially but I think it was alright after a few eps. His microexpressions and meaning-loaded gazes and quirked-lip-smiles are pretty affecting. I watched some interviews of him and he seems really different from Gun in real life so that’s quite impressive. Plus I love his slight slouchiness when portraying Gun in the more personal scenes where the facade of gruff boss!han shangyan disappears lolol. For all my problems with the way Tong Nian’s character was portrayed, Yang Zi does a great job in her role too. I think her crying scenes have always been on point and it was no different here. Special shoutout to the actors for Mi Shaofei, Solo and Xiao Ai, who portrayed their roles really well I think!

Lastly on a random note, I’m quite amused by how the soundtrack copiously borrows from the Suddenly This Summer soundtrack, but I’m not complaining because the OST is pretty evocative and whimsical and makes me hugely nostalgic for STS :)

#go go squid!#亲爱的热爱的 #cdramanet #li xian #yang zi #李现 #杨紫 #drama watching #this is so badly written i cannot english #but i hope it makes some sense and isn't gibberish

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demaury · 5 years

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Some kind of mistake (chapter 1)

Ever since Eliott first came across the new resident of the apartment 320, he made peace with the fact that Lucas 'Big Blue Eyes' Lallemant would, one way or another, turn his life upside down. Thing is, he hadn't expected that Lucas' wife and Lucas' daughter would play a part in it. Because, you know, he didn't know they existed until it was too late. (ao3 link)

SAMEDI, 08:49

It was a Saturday. For some reason, that particular fact in itself stuck in Eliott’s mind.

What was odd was that it didn’t particularly strike him as any different from the other Saturdays. It started off with Sofiane kicking him awake on his couch with a cup of coffee that wasn’t nearly enough to calm the pounding of a hundred hammers against his skull — courtesy of one (or ten) too many drinks from the night before. While he was twisting around in a sitting position and discarding the blanket usually covering the couch, Sofiane sat on the armrest, looking down at him.

“Eliott, c’mon. You know I like having you here but man- you stink.” He pulled a disgusted face as he said so. If Eliott’s eyes weren’t already giving him hell for the sunlight flooding the tiny living-room, he would have rolled them. It couldn’t be that late, considering Sofiane was still here. “Why can’t you just come over when you’re sober for once? That’d make for a nice change.”

A snort escaped past his lips as he was trying to swallow down his first sip of the morning. Sofiane was an actual mother hen, always down to give advises, especially when no one had asked for it — but Eliott wouldn’t have it any other way, and that’s why he always ended up crashing on his couch whenever he was too tired and/or drunk to go home by himself. It was just convenient that Sofiane’s place happened to be located in a particularly lively neighborhood, which meant that more often than not, his place was the closest from where Eliott was finding himself. A waste, considering that Sofiane was rarely (if ever) pulling an all-nighter these days.

“Not my fault you’re always ditching me,” Eliott protested, nose in his coffee. “Idriss too. You guys are the worst friends.”

What kind of friend let you ring at the intercom and didn’t even open the door? Idriss fucking Bakhellal. He was exactly that kind of friend. ‘Dude, I can’t keep up with your shit. I gotta wake up in the morning, just go make some other friends to party with,’ he had told him bluntly.

Was it his fault if all of a sudden his friends had boring jobs and boring lives?

Sofiane gave him a pointed look, before shaking his head as if he had been able to follow his train of thoughts. “I’ve got a job, Eli. Not everyone can afford to get shitfaced every Friday nights and a couple other nights in-between and still keep up with their lives.”

“I’ve got a job too, I’ll let you know,” Eliott retorted, mildly wounded in his pride.

Being overly judgmental was going against everything Sofiane was, although technically Eliott knew there was some truth in it, but after nearly five years of justifying the fact that yes, staying home on his computer was part of his job (and a huge part of it at that, not to say all of it), it was getting a little bit more on his nerves each time someone mentioned it. If anything, he was making more money that Sofiane, and probably more than Idriss as well — EP teacher wasn’t really the starter plan for a millionaire career.

He shifted on the couch, becoming increasingly aware of his wrinkled and slightly damp tee-shirt with every move he made. Maybe Sofiane was right about the smell, after all.

“Yes, but you don’t have work hours like Idriss and I do.”

Eliott shot him an unimpressed look. “You’re a driving instructor, Sof, you don’t treat cancer.” Joke was on him, because after ten years of friendship, he surely knew Sofiane well-enough to be aware that he was as proud to help kids get their driving license as any doctor was to save a life. Twenty years down the road and he’d start lining up on a wall the driving licenses he had contributed to.

Sofiane rolled his eyes. “And you’re still an asshole whenever you’re wasted, nice to see some things never change.” He leaned forward to grab his phone from the coffee table and immediately bolted up. “Shit I’m late. Look, do whatever you want but lock the door behind you and leave the spare key in the mailbox.”

“What’s the point of a spare key if you have both of them in here?” Eliott observed as Sofiane shrugged on a hoodie and fumbled around to grab the things he needed to go — shoes, keys, phone, and wallet— before literally jumping to the front door.

“That’s just a proof you’re spending too much time in here!”, he yelled as he slammed the door behind him, making Eliott wince at the sound.

SAMEDI, 09:51

He stayed put for a couple of minutes, before setting the cup of coffee on the table before him and gathering his things to head out. Usually he didn’t feel so much like things weren’t okay whenever he found himself here, with Sofiane fretting around him — if anything, it made him laugh. But for some reason this morning just wasn’t it.

An awful part of his teenage years had been spent hating himself for not being more like the other kids of his age, with an easy life, healthy hobbies, healthy relationships, healthy self-perception. Yeah, an awful lot of the time, between fifteen and nineteen, he had wished he was more like Sofiane, more like Idriss. More like anybody else. It had started working out for him only after he hit twenty. His meds were on point. He was slowly making peace with the fact that things would never be a 100% easy, and stopped purposefully ignoring the signs when shit was about to hit the fan.

As a free-lance graphic designer, he mostly worked from home, which spared him the prospect of dealing with an asshole boss on a daily basis — and getting fired because of one of his low lows. His sex-life was always a bit of a mess, but not dating anybody was making it a lot easier to juggle between the moment he craved loneliness and those he craved physical contact beyond logic. He was seeing his parents, who lived across town, twice a month, talking with his sister at least once a week, going to his therapist whenever it was needed, and every once in a while, Idriss got invested into a new sport and bugged him enough to join him, or simply to go for a morning run.

It wasn’t a perfect life, but it was healthier than it had been since what felt like forever. For the last five years or so, he had felt reasonably like the rest of his friends and acquaintances. So why was everyone starting to act like 26 was the age limit for all of this? It was as though they had no idea about all the efforts he had put into this in the first place, and sometimes he just wanted to scream his frustrations out.

The bus-ride back to his place wasn’t long, but it felt a lot like it. His phone had died the night before, so he was only hoping that whatever his drunken self had posted on his stories wasn’t shameful enough to make prospective clients run off to the next graphic designer on their list. He had started making a name for himself when he had scored a campaign promoting a new club in the Marais, two years ago, and although his building couldn’t be considered ‘fancy’ by any means, he was making enough money to afford living on his own in a bigger space than Sofiane’s literal shoebox.

Talking about boxes, Eliott thought.

A bunch of cardboard boxes were piled up in the entrance of his building. The main door was hanging wide open, a couple of leaves swirling around under the cool breeze and loud voices echoing inside — far too loud for Eliott’s still inebriated, sleep-deprived brain. He had known that the family of four living in the apartment on the fourth floor, the level below his own flat, would lose no time in being replaced — the moment the two parents had stopped fighting for good was when the dad had left and the countdown had started for a single mom in an overpriced city.

As Eliott walked in, careful not to trip, his eyes fell on three guys apparently waiting for the elevator to reach the ground floor, while holding upward the slatted base of a bed. Young, probably in their twenties. And fucking loud.

“I didn’t sign up for this!” one of them was protesting vehemently, his voice bouncing up against every wall and right through Eliott’s brain as he padded further in. When the guy straightened, the two others almost toppled over under the weight of the bed base. “I signed up for a bunch of books and clothes, I’m not a moving company!”

“Bro, can you just stop whining already?” another one said, adjusting his position with an elbow resting on the wooden frame.

“My point is, why are we doing all of this, and Lucas gets to just… I don’t know, slide them out of the elevator and inside his flat?” the first one complained.

Eliott almost snorted, and if he had been in the mood for conversation, he would have probably told them that they were fucking spoiled. Back when he moved in, the elevator was out of order, which had been a real pain in the ass to move everything up to the fifth floor — Sofiane and Idriss kept insisting that as long as the amount of years he had spent in his flat didn’t equal the number of floors they had to go through, they would never be even.

Oh fuck no, he thought.

That meant he had five goddamn flights of stairs to go through before crashing onto his bed.

Just what he needed.

“So following your logic,” the third one, a blond guy with glasses, chimed in, “Lucas should be here, dealing with the heavy shit, while you’re randomly shoving everything in his living-room until we can’t even open the door.”

“Exactly!” the first one exclaimed, then he met the look of his two friends. “Wait no- Not exactly but-”

“I can’t believe he’s allowed to vote,” the guy with the glasses muttered with a loud sigh, “congrats Baz, you made me lose faith in the democratic system.”

The fact that he threw his hands up in the air as he talked, and that the bed base once again threatened to fall to the ground under his other friend’s protests, offered enough of a distraction for Eliott to reach the stairs without having to go through a conversation he had no emotional interest in.

The pressure of being one among a million other people was nothing compared to the pressure of being known from everyone in a small town. Eliott was fine with being lost in the crowd, especially in a town where people considered it a flaw to be over-sympathetic; that was definitely something he could get behind. It was easy to just coexist with other people without seeking any further contact with them than a polite nod whenever they let you use the elevator with them, or when they held you the door out of habit rather than politeness — that made for less people asking annoying stuff from you when you couldn’t deal with it. He scrambled his way up through the floors, occasionally reminding himself that he could go through the last two flights of stairs without puking. It wasn’t exactly easy, considering that going through the mess that was the fourth floor gave him the impression of being the character of an online platform game. When he made it there, the technological wonder that was an elevator had managed to get the bed base up the fourth floor before him.

Eliott heard a grunt before he actually saw anything, then he saw the bed base move before he saw the person behind it. A boy was pestering to himself, sliding between the bed base and the wall of the elevator to try pulling it out from the outside, rather than pushing it out from the inside. The frame made an agonizing screeching sound that reverberated through the whole building and had Eliott wincing, but the guy had apparently made peace with every single living soul hating him because he didn’t stop — only slowing down as the meters added to the actual weight of the object. Eliott liked to think of himself as someone at least more observant than most, but it didn’t take a genius to know that the number of smaller boxes waiting by the front door was multiplying the number of chances for something bad to happen.

And as Murphy’s law stated so well, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.

The guy walking backward didn’t get to see the box near his foot until he tripped over it, letting out a ‘fuck’ as he lost his balance and the bed base toppled over him with a loud, metallic sound. It took Eliott an extra-second to get in motion — really, it wasn’t like shit like this happened every day. The guy was struggling to get out of what looked ridiculously like a wooden cage all of a sudden.

“You okay?”, Eliott enquired, startling him.

“Never been better,” he gritted out.

Eliott smirked to himself and leaned forward to grab the slats and lift the bed base off, before sliding it up against the wall while the guy was laboriously rising up on his feet.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, rubbing his forearm. “I guess some people don’t get the point of teaming up to get shit done faster.”

Eliott cocked an eyebrow. “Let me guess, the other three downstairs are yours?”

“There might be no more than me at the end of the day if they keep up like that.”

Sassy, Eliott noted. He liked it. For the first time he was actually indulging in a little bit of staring. Not much. The barest minimum, really. First of all, despite having been told him countless times that he looked younger than his 26 years old, he had troubles believing that this guy was an actual grown-up, but maybe it had to do with the fact that he was rather short, or the way his hair seemed disheveled beyond repair — and, again, Eliott knew a stuff or two about messy hair. What caught his attention was the two, big blue eyes suddenly staring back at him.

Wide.

And blue.

Very, very blue.

A very dark shade, one of those that even Photoshop had no trouble making pop — which didn’t happen often. Call it a professional quirk, but it was a nice thing to see. There was a bit of an awkward silence, only broken when the elevator dinged behind them, offering Eliott enough of a distraction for his brain to fall back into place, and preferably out of the gutter before he started overanalyzing the wonders that his skinny jeans made to his lower body.

“See? I told you he would be just fine,” the voice of one of the three guys from the hall echoed behind them. “Our Lulu is the best.”

Suddenly the big blue eyes were not focused on him anymore, and Eliott didn’t know how to feel about it. He was just awkwardly standing now, caught between people he didn’t even know fifteen minutes before. That wasn’t the definition of how he wanted to spend his Saturday morning riding out his hangover.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I almost died!”, Blue Eyes protested.

“I told you this would happen,” another one muttered.

Eliott shook his head to himself, and started to retreat towards the staircase while they were busy throwing insults at each other.

Maybe Sofiane was right.

Maybe he was too old for this shit — whatever that was.

#skam france #eliott demaury #lucas lallemant #elu #elu fic #mine #*#*skm #my fics

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sign-from-god-complex · 5 years

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tonight might be my night to reminisce

Summary: Sentimentality was not a concept Logan was hugely familiar with, but there was one exception.

Or, Logan gets emotional watching the stars and his boyfriends are there to help.

Pairing: LAMP/CALM

Warnings: Description of a panic attack (I seem to do a lot of those, huh?), dissociation, brief mention of death of a family member and general existential thinking.

A/N: The title for this one is from This Manhattan Man by The Altogether and I completely recommend their whole EP!! It’s on Bandcamp and it’s excellent; I was listening to it nonstop as I wrote this.

Tag list: @mutechild <333

AO3 Link!

__________________

Sentimentality was not a concept Logan was hugely familiar with. He found himself to be focused mostly externally, cognisant of his surroundings and of things much more concrete than feelings. More aware of facts and numbers or of the sensation of fabrics against his skin and the warmth of others when they touched him.

There was one exception, however.

Without fail, watching the stars inspired something in him. He couldn't explain what it was. It felt like a longing for something indescribable, a homesickness for a home he'd never had, an awareness of just how insignificant he was in the grand scheme of the universe. It hurt his chest, opened up something raw and hollow inside him, and yet at the same time it was intoxicating. It was Logan's one opportunity to be purely emotional—to disregard his nature and feel, wholly and completely.

As Logan sat on the roof, the sleeves of his sweater pulled past his hands, he allowed himself to breathe.

He could hear from underneath him the sound of people just existing, each of them caught up in their lives and unaware of the others around them doing the same. There was music from a distant place that Logan couldn't exactly pinpoint, quiet and blending with the windchill as it seeped through his bones.

Time was passing, seconds ticking by, and where was he? Truly?

The nature of the universe is still and unchanging, but the nature of humanity is fluid and unstable. Progress was constantly being made, revolutions were being led, both big and small, lives were being permanently altered every second he sat up here watching the stars with a weight on his chest.

It was overwhelming, knowing that there are expectations for him. He isn't allowed to live his life among the stars, no matter how much he longs for it—no matter how much he aches to exist purely as a being of light, guiding those he loves with an unwavering hand. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's good at pretending that he does—he's excellent at it in fact—but in reality, he's lost. Living his life waiting for another chance to feel stable. Hoping for another chance to feel stable.

But, here, in this moment, he was limitless. Here he was alone and yet he was accompanied by every person who had ever lived and everyone who ever will—an infinite wonder of possibilities and certainties. The universe was spread out before his eyes and echoing in his ears.

When his grandmother died, Logan's first exposure to loss, it was something his mother had said to him. Every star is a captured soul. When they leave the earth, they travel to the sky and take up residence there—safe, secure and sure of their purpose, of their identity and of every part of their endless being. Finally at complete peace.

Logan's soul came from the stars and it would return there in time.

There were tears slipping down his face but he didn't acknowledge them. They were expected on nights like this—his one chance for emotional release without the pressure of other's gazes on his back. These moments were his and his alone; that's the way they needed to be.

Logan gazed intently at the sky, identifying the brightest stars and the ones you may miss at first glance, wishing for some distance from the city lights. Wishing for a way to see the stars as bright and clear as they deserved to be seen, yet knowing all things only exist in context. This moment is the only moment like this there was ever going to be in the history of the world. Never before and never again will Logan experience exactly this, so how could he waste it away wishing for something different?

He was hit with another wave of emotion, suddenly aware of how everything he had ever experienced was long past. His childhood was gone. His teenage years were gone. Every 'first' moment was a moment Logan would never have again. The times when he didn't have to worry about the cost of living or his future career or how he was going to survive without someone there to guide him were over.

He was wasting away his life sitting on the roof of his apartment, watching the stars and remaining stagnant.

Sobs wracked Logan's frame for just a second before he managed to once again take a breath. A heavy, shaking breath, but a breath nonetheless. He had to remind himself that this moment was fleeting—all moments were fleeting, that was the nature of existence. The world is impermanent and all he could hope to do was make his life a good one.

No matter how hard it seemed, he had to keep moving forward.

Logan slipped down from the roof, dropping onto the fire escape with a loud clanging noise which would’ve startled anyone that could hear it. Logan was too far away to react though. He climbed in through the window, landing on the living room floor though barely processing his surroundings outside of the fog filling his head.

Distantly, he could feel something warm and soft being draped around his shoulders, gentle but firm hands pulling him to the ground, a steady pressure on his body to ground him, but not overwhelm him. He could hear whispering, could hear the rustling of clothing, the quiet sound of music—one of the classical music pieces Logan had shown Roman that he didn't immediately hate.

As his mind adjusted to the change he could recognise the dim light that filled the room, recognise the cool draft from the window he'd entered through. Recognised Patton, a warm hand on his shoulder, Virgil, a solid weight on Logan's thigh and Roman kneeling above him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

Recognised that he was still crying.

All at once, it was too much—the warmth and the pressure and the gaze of his boyfriends fixated on him—and he couldn't breathe. Wanting to sink back into that place where everything was fuzzy and numb but unable to find it with panic gripping every inch of his body. The blanket was torn away, hands left his skin and tears burned behind his eyes as he tried to explain but could only try his best to breathe. It felt like an insurmountable task.

Voices faded back into awareness. He could hear a quiet but steady counting and Logan recognised it immediately, pulling himself back in enough to attempt to follow along. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight—a constant rhythm, something to direct his focus to.

An indeterminate amount of time passed, the air filled with slow counting and heavy breaths and a peaceful sense of love. Logan unclenched his hands. Breathed. Opened his eyes.

The three of them were sat on the floor in a semi-circle in front of him. Patton’s eyes were wet with tears, face partially hidden away in his cat hoodie and arms wrapped around himself. Virgil watched Logan with a careful eye but made no move towards him. Roman was uncharacteristically quiet, gaze directed at the ground and brow furrowed.

Logan continued to breathe.

"What do you need, Lo?" Virgil searched his face intently. "How can we help you here?"

What did he need? He needed security. He needed a direction. He needed to know that what he was doing with his life was exactly what he needed to be doing, that he wasn't wasting away every time he took a moment to just exist. But right now though, he just needed them.

Logan stood, wobbling slightly on his feet, before speaking, "Come."

His voice was hoarse and low and the others obeyed it without question, following him to the couches and taking a seat—Patton and Virgil on the big couch and Roman in the armchair. Logan settled on the floor beneath them.

"Just... be here with me." Logan leaned back against the bottom of the couch, fitting himself in between Patton's legs. "Please."

Virgil hummed. Logan knew this was a concept he was familiar with; occasionally just existing beside another person was all the socialising Virgil was capable of, and Logan was his go-to for that type of company. He had no doubt that the other two had their experience with it though.

Patton reached down to thread his hand through Logan's hair. He had to shift his position so he could reach comfortably, pushing his legs onto Virgil's lap and pulling a cushion under his head.

"Is this okay?" he whispered.

Logan responded by leaning into his touch, and Patton smiled slightly.

"Logan," Roman began, his voice much more subdued than it normally was, "Did I ever tell you about my first camping trip?"

He shook his head and so Roman began to fill up the silence with a story. Nothing too exciting or adventurous, which was atypical of Roman's stories, so he assumed this one was saved specifically for a moment like this.

Logan let his eyes fall closed—his mind occupied by the words filling the air, the hand tracing through his hair and the calm he now feels. Here he was safe. He was the centre of the universe, the main character of his own story. It was grounding. It was exactly what he needed and it was perfect.

"I love you all," he said softly.

He'd interrupted Roman's story, but Logan doubted he really minded. There was a moment of silence before Virgil said, "We love you too, Lo."

Patton leaned down to kiss the top of Logan's head. "Every single bit of you."

"Forever and always," Roman finished and Logan could hear the fondness in his voice.

Logan wrapped himself up in the surety that provided him—in the way his boyfriends' love warmed him from the inside out—and used that to hold him tightly as he drifted off to sleep.

#sanders sides #sanders side fic #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #lamp/calm #lamp #lo can write

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fenrhi · 5 years

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Fafner the Beyond ep2 review

There is no war in Tatsumiyajima

This episode was mostly trailer footage but that doesn’t mean I didn’t learn anything new, on the contrary. I was wrong about so, so many things

We start the episode with Kosoushi dreaming. He’s talking to Wadatsumi’s new core(s) and it’s implied it’s not the first time this is happening. Some very mysterious lines are pronounced by the twin cores: ‘you will destroy the island the way you are right now’, ‘the child of Mir is looking for you’. Now the second one isn’t mysterious but it’s a reminder that Kazuki is no longer human and it still hurts a little. I don’t know which Mir the white-haired core is talking about, hopefully it’ll be revealed soon. As for the first line.....I’m assuming the black-haired core (let’s say Kuro for short) is talking about Wadatsumi. Destroying the island = a brainwashed Kosoushi bringing with him a horde of dangerous Festum? Cryptic cores gonna be cryptic.

this is pretty explicit, but i still posted these because this is quintessencial Soukazu. The determined-but-with-a-hint-of-sadness expression, the promise to see each other again, and the excellent trope of characters meeting in a dream and meeting again in real life, as if they were fated to be together.... Soukazu is the stuff of dreams man.

Then Kosoushi wakes up and goes to school with Tsubaki Frolo and Maris, who can conveniently take the form of a teenager and has a deliciously fucked up relationship with Kosoushi. Let’s recap: Adult Maris brainwashed and kidnapped Kosoushi, then created a fake and peaceful island for him in the north pole, as suggested by some creepy alien whose motto in life is “i want humanity to taste despair”. What could possibly go wrong! but it gets worse: Maris basically admits to obeying Malespero because he hates Wadatsumi more than he hates him, and somehow thinks the future Malespero wants to create will be good. Thus, we end up with teen Maris working in the student coucil with Kosoushi while Malespero does his own thing in his corner

I love that (Ko)Soushi is the MC this time, I love seeing how different he would have been if he had a normal life (no war, no festum, both parents alive, no social awkwardness). Soushi wish he could have been this trauma-free. And I’m still not over the fact that Kousoushi’s ‘parents’ are Michio and Yumiko. Kozo doesn’t even exist as a background character in this world

Now lets get into one of my favorite symbols of the ep, the radio:

it’s obviously a reference to s1, except we have a role renversal here. In s1, Soushi and the others receive a message from Festum and Soushi gets assimilated. To save him, Kazuki has to destroy his left eye. The scar becomes very important to Soushi: a symbol of the sense of self Kazuki protected for him. In the Beyond, Kosoushi grew up on a island full of festum, totally isolated from the outside world and wants to communicate with other people. Kazuki answers his call but only when Kousoushi’s alone in his room. He ends up hurting him this time too, but its more on the emotional side.

I could have called the writers lazy for recycling this plot point in such an obvious way but i love Fafner too much, so i won’t. And it works well in the context of the show! So kudos to the writers

we also get unintentional humor in this ep:

Kazuki in his emo boy glory, sitting on stairs alone at night because he can’t bring himself to go inside an illusion of his house.

Meanwhile, Kosoushi....

....is absolutely delighted to talk to Kazuki. Poor boy doesn’t know what’s going to hit him. Ignorance really is bliss

Not much to say about the festival so lets skip to the Soukazu reunion

Not pictured here: Kosoushi ditching his family to run to Kazuki’s side because he’s that excited to meet him. And Kazuki greeting him with a low and soft voice. Makoto Ishii is doing such an amazing job as Kazuki. And in true Fafner fashion, this sweet, emotional reunion gets interrupted and things go downhill real fast.

(I have a mountain of things to say about the Kosoushi-Tsubaki Frolo-Kazuki conversation that follows, but tumblr pic limit sucks, so it’ll be for another post)

The truth comes out: the people Kosoushi lived with were Festum in disguise, and he watches powerlessly as his world crumbles around him.

The role renversal continues: Kazuki is the terrifying invader that is trying to destroy the peace people of Tatsumiyajima have spent so long building. It’s been clear since Exodus that Kazuki was no longer human yet im still surprised by how....well....inhumane he can be.

Like this? Destroying Festum with one hand while holding Kosoushi close to him with the other hand? Still caught me off guard

What’s also interesting is that pained expression hes making. Does using this power physically hurt him? Is he in pain because he’s hurting Kosoushi by killing people he spent time with in front of his eyes? Is he in pain because he’s a Festum and he can feel the other Festum’s pain? Maybe a little bit of all of these

And oh, Kazuki can make portals too, just like the Festum hes fighting against. This isnt worrying at all

Fighting ensues, and Koyo and Misao make an appearance, though we don’t get to hear them or see their faces. Maris reveals his true form...

...Which is identical to Legato’s. It’s frustrating how little I know about Maris: he’s a special kind of Festum, he has a strange connection to Miwa and his parents were Esperantos. Thats it. May The Beyond answers all my questions about him....

Going back to Kazuki being inhumane, he really did kill Tsubaki Frolo in front of Kosoushi huh?

This Tsubaki didn’t even get two episodes of screentime! You broke your record this time, Fafner

Kazuki continues being the worst baby-sitter ever by doing a karate move on Kosoushi and putting him ass first on the ground. I’ve wondered why he would be so violent with him and I think I have a beginning of answer: he doesn’t care anymore about Kosoushi’s love for him (or he thinks he doesnt deserve it), he just wants him to be physically safe and far away from Maris. It’s the “Hurt You To Save You” trope.

The Fafner writers have spent a decade throwing death flags at Kazuki and now they’re pulling this? Having Kazuki die by Kosoushi’s hands (the guy he loves the most in the world) is how they want to deal with it?

I thought Kazuki’s Plot Armor would always protect him, but I’m not so sure anymore

#typos....typos everywhere...#long post #fafner the beyond #fenrhi watches the beyond

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kinetic-elaboration · 5 years

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September 10: The 100 1x06 Fog of War

Mmmm watching another ep and it’s been less than six months since the last one?! * jinxes self *

Bellarke date at the outside cafe. (WHY IS THIS OUTSIDE CAFE NOT IN MORE FICS? WHY IS IT NOT IN MY FICS?)

I don’t always love Clarke’s art tbh but I do love her Mount Weather sketch.

“You won’t be by yourself.” They are canonically Soft with each other.

I have a hard time believing they would wait two days just sitting on their hands, Abby or no Abby. YOU GUYS WERE THE LEADERS. JUST LEAD STUFF.

“We’re at war. We’ve all done things,” is, like, first, beyond the point, because even in war, one doesn’t usually attack civilian villages. (Unless one is a terrorist.) And second, it’s weird that Bellamy would be defending Finn? Not really sure how to read that. Unless his hatred of Grounders is truly that intense, which is possible. And third, are they really still at war? Because after attacking the dropship, the Grounders have done... literally nothing? Like it’s a semi-war scenario.

“Next round’s on me.” Do they have to.... pay for things...? With what lol?

“Salvaged Monty’s still. Now if we could only salvage Monty.” Someone here has a sense of humor. Also lol @ everyone at Camp Jaha using a teenager’s illegal still.

Really, the “pardon for surviving” should not include time on the ground, because pardons aren’t forward looking. Also they bring back the idea of trying Finn later. They just don’t want to deal with Murphy and Finn, and don’t really see the massacre of Grounders as a big deal, which, I am a Sky Person partisan to the last, does not reflect well on them. I think also they still haven’t figured out what tf their judicial system on the ground is, and just don’t want to deal with that yet either. Which isn’t a great excuse but it’s of a piece with how this show deals with society-building questions in general. (By... not.)

And Finn still doesn’t even feel bad.

And Murphy thinks Clarke and Finn are still together...? I guess that makes sense given how long he was away. He’s ALWAYS behind on delinquent gossip.

Clarke to Murphy: “Just because they pardoned you doesn’t mean I have.” Another line that should be iconic.

If Mount Weather is the reason they never heard from any other Ark Stations then they should have heard from more of them after S2 just putting that out there.

Raven is so beautiful.

And I’m sorry but she’s completely in love with Clarke here.

“You and your friends are not soldiers...” Hmmmm except in a certain sense they kind of are. Love this s2 adults versus delinquents conflict though.

Anyway I realize this is just to get them going back to Mount Weather but they were apparently doing this radio mission to get more Guards from other stations, which never happened, which sort of reminds me of Day Trip and the ‘winter supplies’ excursion when apparently winter doesn’t exist in the future anyway.

Literally only now at the credits.... Why am I like this?

So Maya couldn’t survive on the ground, obviously, because blood isn’t good enough, it has to be bone marrow, which, fine, for plot purposes--but what if she could???

“I know the plan was to assimilate them into the gene pool.” COMPLETELY forgot about that. So they did have a reason for being so nice to them. That is a rather long term plan though...

With the delinquent blood, they’ll “live longer and feel better.” I wonder what the sickness rate is, then. What the quality of life is, low vitamin d aside.

“If I agree to harvest those kids, then I won’t deserve to see [the outside] again.”

That Finn is a good tracker is, like, not a retcon in the sense that this was true in season 1, but still a semi retcon in the sense that nothing in the very early episodes implies he’s Mr. Earth Skills. (Unlike, say... Wells.)

Privileged Ark people really do just throw rules around and up and down however they like. Like, Abby clearing her daughter’s friend because “he was trying to save his friends” even though what he did was objectively much worse than pretty much anything the 100 were imprisoned for? Or other people killed for? Hmmm,, yeah, okay.

Jaha’s death wish transformed into a lazy acceptance that he is invincible is truly one of the best character arcs on this show imo. Infuriating but amazing.

“How many times on the Ark did we go two days without water?”

He recognizes the prison as a train station, which is not objectively surprising but I bet the Grounders don’t know what it is. Somehow. Since memory isn’t a thing in the future either.

On the one hand, it’s reasonable to think that Finn’s attack was coordinated from above but on the other hand, these two prisoners literally could not have ordered it, because they have been... imprisoned... the entire time. And I mean truly putting two Sky People who could not themselves have been involved in another Sky Person’s murder spree into some sort of Saw scenario in response to that murder spree really isn’t “justice” in any sense of the word. Like truly the JD in me is just SCREAMING. There is no nexus between the people you have and the person you’re angry at, other than “Sky Person” but the thread is so tangled you’re just.... throwing around bloodshed for lolz. (I know it’s a test and that part isn’t dumb but the scaffolding of the test is DUMB.)

I am still not over that someone gave Jasper a stuffed toy bear as a thank you for giving Maya blood. Also, it looks like... an alarm clock?

I like Dante but every time he says “Jasper” it just creeps me out. Maybe it’s the way he’s, uh, playing him.

It is 100% true that Mount Weather was not meant to last that long. At least not in the sense of ‘as a closed facility.’

Ridiculous as it is to pardon Finn AND take him adventuring AND give him a gun, I like the tension between him and the others, that they have officially forgiven him, and want to still love him, but are wary of him, scared of him, for good reason. For all that people are constantly ‘doing bad things’ and yelling at each other about it, this scenario doesn’t really have a parallel anywhere else in the canon.

“According to Clarke, before the bombs, there were buildings everywhere here. I’m guessing some of the had access to the bunker. So we’re looking for ruins. Anything man-made.”

Bellamy says he and O aren’t under the Guard command. But in a way, aren’t they? Like aren’t the Guard basically in authority over all Arkers? I know I’m overthinking but does he see himself as more delinquent than Arker? Especially with the “our people” are in Mount Weather.

All those mice.... Or rodents....

What a scenario: Clarke and Finn hiding from the acid fog in a weird little personal bunker where they once fucked, and now there’s a dead body in it, and Finn put it there. Not even Olav can top this.

Raven playing with the radio is my kink.

Parking garage as tomb. Who would protect a parking garage with a big-ass steal door that protects cars from radiation? If it does lead to Mount Weather (no recollection if it does) I guess it could be... part of it? Idk. Nice aesthetic though.

Bellamy is very comfortable calling people Sir. Polite young man.

So Clarke’s Dad’s watch returns to Clarke. I can’t remember what ultimately happened to it. Is it basically tainted now?

Monty’s obscene jealousy of Maya just gets me every single time. Makes up for the horrendous second hand embarrassment I’m getting from the rest of this scene.

“Hey, it’s pizza day! Who’s hungry?” uhhhhhhhhhhmmmmm So natural. Cute dress though.

How did she figure out the breach wasn’t an accident? Or that there is surveillance? Anyway now that she knows she was experimented on, and that Jasper was experimented on, one would assume she is pissed. One would assume that’s part of why she shows them the Grounders. Also to stop Jasper perhaps from embroiling his people even more with (her own) untrustworthy people. Because truly it is in part to save them, but it’s also a real risk to herself, admitting this terrible thing she’s been a part of.

“To get you to agree to be her blood brother.” He’s not wrong but that language is sooooo jealous--both revealing the threat he feels (because Jasper is his ‘brother’) and diminishing the JasperMaya relationship (which he knows to be romantic, and is turning familiar.)

Why did the show ever try to top the pure horror of the Grounder Torture Prison?

“What are we supposed to do?” / “Die.” Another Iconic Exchange. This is Monty’s morality: uncompromising. Are the standards he sets for himself hypocritical or consistent? Also, some foreshadowing lol.

I wonder what Monty’s allegiance is to the other kids... Would he have irradiated the Mountain for them if Jasper were safe? Legit question because he defects to his mom’s side pretty fast in S3, and he would 100% leave Mount Weather through the side door just like Clarke, at this point, which Jasper refuses to do even if it were possible. I am intrigued by this scene and the switching of plans/different points of view.

So this is the revelation that the acid fog is a Mount Weather weapon. I always really liked that twist.

Okay so this explains why they didn’t get to the other stations, because they choose to keep the tower up to listen to Mount Weather, but it’s actually not a tough call bc if you defeat Mount Weather and take your people back, then you can get rid of the blocking signal, and then find your other people, so win-win, you just have to go in order and on that note, why did it take 3 months to find only one station??

Is that a....hand crank mp3?? Got a lot of juice from just a little bit of cranking.

There are a hella lot of storylines in this episode. I completely forgot about Jaha and Kane and Lexa.

Kane’s continuing death wish makes him utterly unreasonable. What in a million years makes you think that the Grounders value sacrifice as opposed to just being sadists? I mean, you don’t know. You’re imposing your value system and also your thought processes on them. You’re also assuming that if one of you killed the other, the survivor would actually get something, like a chance to negotiate, which is probably not true--in fact, Gustus basically told you as much with “We’ll hear the terms of your surrender form the survivor.” Winning means nothing except you get to surrender!! And probably die!! They are not coming to you in good faith is what I’m trying to say and having watched the whole season I know I am Right.

“You didn’t order the massacre.” / “Not that one.” Honestly dude get over it lol. Interesting that Jaha, although he has transformed in some ways, keeps to the old lines, about survival, the human race--and our people, if the human race is broader than just the Ark, which it is, and no big deal. So in some ways his morality has not changed at all, at its core.

Look, I’m sorry, not to be that person, but he probably would have been better off killing Lexa there. I mean, I know he’s choosing ‘an innocent’ in his mind but... what a power move to behead the Commander WHILE you’re her prisoner. Good old Jaha, smart and quick and sure of himself.

Just uh not quick enough at murdering I guess.

I’m no Lexa fan but that was an excellent entrance and it remains an excellent entrance. Also while I never thought she was as smart as people said, because name me another tactical decision she made that was actually good, this was a smart ploy. And probably the most subtle thing any Grounder character ever did, even if it does end with her basically beating Jaha up ‘as a message’ as if she were a gangster.

Is this the episode that introduces Blood Must Have Blood? Already Tired of it tbh.

This Clarke and Finn scene is so sad. I realize that they purposefully made him unredeemable at this point, that this story line was always intended to be the method by which he was written off, and that there’s only so much awkwardness you can write around this scenario, but nevertheless it would have been interesting to see Finn in the long term, in a way. Not redeemed.. I don’t know. Whatever I’m thinking it’s not in the range of this show, though, for sure.

Did Jasper and Monty tell all of the 47 everything? To get them to volunteer? (Answer: No, but they told at least Harper and Miller, maybe a few more.)

“How high are you right now?” We were SO robbed of more intoxicated!Monty scenes.

Jasper and Dante: creepy creepy creepy.

“There’s been a Wallace in this office since the bombs.” So glad to know we immediately reverted to some sort of pseud-monarchy post-nuclear war. That said it’s only been 97 years so that’s like 3 Wallaces tops.

Prioritizing the radio also means of course admitting that getting the 47 out of MW is a priority for Abby/Ark PTB, which wasn’t exactly clear before.

I’ve never been a fan of the “Build a brace for yours” line and I’m still not, because I think conflating physical and mental injuries is not exactly helpful, but I guess I appreciate it as a look into Raven’s mind--Raven, who has never really understood mental scars and never really does--and the soft way she says it is a sort of forgiveness. Not really forgiveness she has the right to offer, and in a way a very brash thing to do, because this was literally a war crime that her best friend committed, but nevertheless.

Jaha: appears. Everyone else: what the absolute fuck.

So on that mission they accomplished... literally nothing they set out to do lol.

What is that random shot of Camp Jaha doing there? They’re not within sight of it. They’re still where they set up tents.

I want to point out that this is the FIRST time the Grounders have demanded that the Sky People “leave” or implied in any way that they consider the Sky People to be on “their” land, and that this was never an issue in Season 1, when their beef seemed to be for things like crossing the river at Mount Weather, accidentally dropping their flares on a Grounder village, and torturing a Grounder spy. But I guess at this point the narrative needed to focus on something because the actual reason for the feud, which is roughly, we accidentally pissed each other off and then kept on retaliating, doesn’t play very well or make the Grounders, who were rehabilitated this season, very sympathetic. (Guess who still has zero sympathy lololol?)

#the 100 #the year 2019 #2019: fandom thoughts #2019: the 100 s2 #i wrote a frickin novel #and i still need to make dinner.............. ugh me

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planetoban · 5 years

Text

Savin’s Answers from Twitter, Part 4!

Still catching up on the backlog; this post covers tweets from May 2018 through October 2018

As always, tweets are in order from most to least recent, and answers are not 100% true/canon since things may change during production of the sequel. Text is unedited save for formatting; in a few places I added [comments] for context.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Also: If you’re going to ask Savin something, please be respectful and appropriate. He’s a person just like you and me.

@jeltezandberg1: I also hope the dutch dub would be re-released on blue ray. Because the dutch DVD version was never fully released ,except for the first volume. The reason for it was because the publisher responsible for the dutch DVD version went bankrupt.

@EiffelSavin: Not cool. We'll see what we can do but unfortunately we don't own the rights to that dub

(x)

@RedVioletPanda: I'm wondering, does Aikka have any other family besides his parents? Also does Spirit have a family or not?‏

@EiffelSavin: If we produce the spinoff you'll have your answer regarding Aikka

(x)

@GaulStg2713: I watched a few episodes back when Oban first aired, and recently I just finished binge-watching the whole thing and now I've learned about this! Awesome! (Is it too much to ask for a heroic Crog guy in this one? I love their design and was sad the only Crog we got were jerks.)‏

@EiffelSavin: I agree with you. If we do produce a sequel your wish may be granted... 😉

(x)

@ILOVE659709491: I’m curious if Maya had not died in a racing crash but had still died due to illness or in a way DW couldn’t blame himself for, would Don Wei still have abandoned Eva and have the same severe reaction to Maya’s death even if it wasn’t in a racing crash, or would DW

‏@ILOVE659709491: have raised Eva & maybe remarry and not have as severe a reaction to Maya’s death but actually move on from it sooner if Maya had not died in a racing crash?

@EiffelSavin: I don't think he would have abandonned Eva if Maya hadn't died a crash. She died while racing for his team. That made him feel directly responsible.

(x)

@Helloworld1012: Sounds interesting. Also, I have to ask regarding OSR 2 has a plotline already been decided?

@EiffelSavin: Yes. We're moving ahead very slowly, but we do have a pretty good idea of where we want to take the new show

(x)

@Dmitry14846442: I wonder if the full version of "Never say Never" exists at all.

@EiffelSavin: Not sure.... ABC family made me listen to it before they chose it but I don't remember how long it was. If it wasn't intended to be released as a single, then there's probably only the short version though.

(x)

@AshBashS_: Ever thought about setting up a type of Kickstarter or patreon? I know those who love the series would like to help out any way they can.

@EiffelSavin: That's certainly an option for a bluray release, a pilot or some early development.

@EpicLoneDreamer: Man... Still hard to understand how geniuses can be broke. The sequel is written already? OMG. What about two queens? 11 years waiting!

[note: AFAIK Savin hasn’t said anything about the sequel’s script being finished]

@EiffelSavin: I must bear the blame for some of it, with zero talent for brown nosing & for choosing projects that stand a little out of the ordinary. Another part can be put on the production system, especially in France, which tends to favor doing the same safe stuff over and over again...

(x)

@penguin_elder: the second question why did jordan easily submit to the idea of becoming avatar,seeing from his actions he wanted to be with molly ithought he would be the first one to disagree on such a big responsibility.keep doing what your doing you're fan from the middleeast

@EiffelSavin: Jordan had sort of a predisposition as he gradually realized Eva didn't have the same feelings for him that he had. Then came a rare chance to save the galaxy, even if it meant losing all he had been. Jordan took it. Cause that's the kind of guy he is & also out of <3 for Eva...

(x)

@Helloworld1012: I’m now super curious, in ep 17 Mrs Stern said something about Eva being capable of stealing from a shop of leaving a hotel room without paying for it. So I’m curious, Is Eva actually capable of stealing or leaving a hotel room without paying for it? I had she

@Helloworld1012: actually done that before? I know Eva’s rebellious, but I can also see she’s a bit of a ”goody-two-shoes.” So I’m curious is Eva actually capable of breaking the law

‏@EiffelSavin: Well, it's the evil headmistress speaking so we can't take her words for granted. But she does hint that during previous attempts to escape from her boarding school Eva may have not always strictly stuck to the law.

(x)

@TengIlar: Hey, guys! There are no announcements, no arts, no teasers, no trailers, no news - nothing at all! Are you still alive? #OSR #OBAN #oban_star_racers

@EiffelSavin: Alive but dealing with a number of different projects, not all related in animation in my case. If you really want to know, I've just spent two weeks leaving in the streets to do research on the lifes of homeless teenagers for one of these projects.

@Helloworld1012: Out of curiosity what project is that?

@EiffelSavin: A project about young punks surviving in the streets with their dogs. But I won't say anymore for the time being. It's very much a work in progress.

(x)

@MassimoJPN: I just got to know about the Blue-Ray project of OSR and I'm incredibly excited now !! Is there any chance that there is gonna be the german voice acting on the discs as well ? I would even get it without, but the old voices are childhood memories ! :)

@EiffelSavin: We should have French, English and Japanese. German is more problematic as we don't own the rights to that version.

(x)

@LiveforOban: I’m curious, do all star race teams managers own their own race team like Don Wei does, or do most star-race managers work for someone else & don’t own their own race team? Also, the show made it clear that when he was Maya’s manager Don Wei worked with only one

@LiveforOban: racer at a time & that his team used only one star-racer at a time, so why is it that in 2082, Wei Race has several star racers?

@EiffelSavin: There are other managers/owners like Don Wei but most teams were not able to survive without the support of a larger parent company. Remaining a relatively small team in terms of funds, Don Wei has usually concentrated all his means & efforts on one top racer: Maya then Rick.

@LiveforOban: So I’m guessing Maya was his first racer.

@EiffelSavin: yes

(x)

@ILOVE659709491: I know Maya was considered to be a beautiful young woman, but I’m curious when he was younger did women consider Don Wei to be a handsome man? In 2082 is Don Wei considered attractive?‏

@EiffelSavin: Don Wei was not bad looking but was no Don Juan either. His charm came from his intelligence and well as from the power of his dream to succeed in the racing business. That's probably what touched handsome Maya.

@ILOVE659709491: What does not bad looking even mean? Does that mean he was fairly attractive? Because I need more clarification on that.‏

@EiffelSavin: I mean not ugly by any means but not someone you'd turn around to look at when his walking down the street - unlike Maya.

(x)

@LiteMorgan: What’s the plan with the theme music? Aware there were a bunch of versions - Japanese, French, Japanese remix for most of EU, and the American version.

@EiffelSavin: We should have the original Yoko Kanno version + the french version as bonus. US version is less probable as we do not own the rights.

(x)

@EiffelSavin: Today I recovered the digital copies of #ObanStarRacers' Japanese master tapes. We'll hopefully add the Japanese language tracks to our planned #bluray release !

@firechikara: Awesome! I hope you'll include the different Opening Theme (apparently from what I've seen, there's a short and long version) as a bonus.

@EiffelSavin: yes!

(x)

@ArkantosRedwolf: Do you have by any chance the Latin American dub? That would be the mother of all nostalgia if you could added to the bluray release.

@EiffelSavin: We'll try but this may be more difficult to obtain. We do not own the latin dub and had no direct part in their recording.

(x)

@Helloworld1012: I’m still really curious, but in ep 18 Maya was wearing a traditional Chinese dress during her date with DW and I’ve noticed her racing uniform resembles a Chinese dress, so is Maya from China or at the very least Chinese?‏

@EiffelSavin: I think I already answered that. Don Wei's origins are only hinted at but for me he's of Chinese origin and Maya isn't. Regarding the dress that was just to please Don. That beeing said anyone is free to interpret the series as he likes and make it his own 😊

(x)

@LiveforOban: Why did Don Wei have such a severe reaction to Maya’s death? No matter how much he loved her & no matter how brutal her death, Don’s reaction was to severe. Considering his personality changed he abandoned his kid & tried to forget his past.

@EiffelSavin: Extreme love can lead to extreme consequences. Romeo killed himself after Juliette killed herself. Don Wei's reaction to Maya's death was a little less radical but the idea is the same. He couldn't bare to leave without her all the more as he felt responsible for her death.

@LiveforOban: Doesn’t that basically mean Don Was obsessed with Maya?

@EiffelSavin: Yes, but in a good way - at least until she died. These two really loved each other and formed a perfect family before drama struck.

(x)

@vaatil: watching Oban with the pals for the first time, we re on episode three and i loVE RICK‏

@EiffelSavin: And rightly so - Rick is the top bad ass dude! 😉

(x)

@Helloworld1012: I'm curious, since their in the concept art but Are Aikka and Eva going to return as major characters in the sequel/spinoff? Also, I'm curious but what will happen to Aikka when he returns to Nourasia? If I'm not mistaken the Crogs are still in control of his planet,

@Helloworld1012: And he's already done several things in the race to risk banishment.‏

@EiffelSavin: Yes, but there's also a new Avatar now, which should change things a bit - or do they? 🙂

(x)

@ILOVE659709491: Did Kanaletto manipulate Eva’s life from the moment she was born? In episode 26 Kanaletto States so himself that for centuries he manipulated time just so he could find Eva & use her.‏

@EiffelSavin: Correct.

(x)

@djinni0024: I know you aren't on Twitter much, but for the sequel, do you guys plan on making it have a darker theme, with more adult tones to it? Most of us (that being your original fan audience) are well in our 20s-30s.

@EiffelSavin: That would be ideal, but it depends on who will finance us

(x)

@NoelCT: Beautiful work, as always. I've been excited to see 2 Queens for years. I'm sorry it's still taking so long to come together, but thankful you haven't given up on it.

@EiffelSavin: Haven't given hope! Actually currently looking for a new character designer to start over on a slightly different direction.

(x)

@KananJarrus: Would be awesome if the #ObanStarRacers Soundtrack got a re-release, for people (like me) who missed out on it years ago. Great, high quality soundtrack @EiffelSavin‏

@EiffelSavin: One of our plans with the Bluray release is to add all existing tracks as a potential bonus (and there's around 85 of them).

(x)

@Helloworld1012: I’m curious since it got to me, that during her time in the boarding school Eva most have done things besides drawing & mechanics to pass the time, but Does Eva like to read? & if so what kind of books did she like to read? Also in ep 18 I noticed Maya wore a chinese dress during her date with Don, is Maya from china or Chinese?

@EiffelSavin: Don Wei's surname implies that he's of Chinese origin, which would make Eva half Chinese. [Implying Maya isn’t Chinese]

@RyanMoate: I can imagine that if Eva read it would be articles about her father's racing career and probably manuals considering she built the rocket seat.‏

@EiffelSavin: Yes, a mechanical geek. Plus she loves hardcore techno - the best way for her to relieve her stress and teenage angst!

(x) (x)

[In response to Catsuka posting the OSR pilot]

@copperfield42: wow, it [Molly Star Racer] looked more silly that the final product...

@EiffelSavin: All the main ideas were in the pilot, but it was a little more comedy oriented and aimed at a slightly younger target audience. As we developed the world and the characters, we fond a new and more fitting equilibrium for the show.

(x)

@ILOVE659709491: I know there are other possibilities for DW's background, but I just want to know, could the theory that Don Wei was born to a high-class family in China, but that DW turned his back on the life he knew when he eloped with Maya also be a possible background for Don?

@EiffelSavin: Choose as you prefer. But bear in mind that you don't need to have been born in the "upper class" to want to behave like someone from the "upper class".

(x)

@Alix_Mei: One question, this series going to be in Netflix?

@EiffelSavin: too soon to say

(x)

@RedVioletPanda: Now that I'm thinking of it, would the Nourasians Knights be similiar to Shaolin practictioners @EiffelSavin ?

@EiffelSavin: Not a bad comparison. They both have strong training, both physical and mental, with the addition of magical training for Nourasian Knights.

(x)

@fictionjustis: Is DW’s grey hair due to stress & grief and has nothing to do with his age? In the flashbacks where Maya is alive DW seems to be in his 20s + DW and Maya seem to be the same age. Maya was only 28 when she died, meaning Eva was born when DW was in his early 20s‏

@EiffelSavin: Don Wei is a little older than Maya and more in his forties at the start the show. But stress may have also played a part

@fictionjustis: I’m curious, a little older is so vague. So does that mean Don Wei is only 2 years older than Maya or that his 5-10 years older than Maya? How many years of an age difference did Don & Maya have?‏

@EiffelSavin: I don't have my old notes with me but it was probably around 10 years older, or something close

@fictionjustis: Really, because they don’t look that far in age.

@EiffelSavin: May have been a little less but in real life it's often hard to tell if someone is 25 or 30. In animation, with stylised designs, it's even harder. The acting and body language play a big part.

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@ILOVE659709491: Maya seems to influence Don Wei the same way Eva influences Aikka. Is it possible that though she didn’t introduce him to racing Maya may have encouraged Don Wei to follow his dreams & be a race manager even though it meant going against his parents wishes & expecta- -tions of him? Also DW has a strong comparison with Aikka is it possible that like Aikka DW came from a high-class family that placed high expectations on him?

@EiffelSavin: The main point these two have in common is that they had feelings for their partner or friend. Regarding Maya, it was more her parents who were against her becoming a racer. Not exactly what any parent would have in mind for their beloved daughter

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#oban star racers #sav the world #Sav! The World #type:staff #type:text

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