#I was so dumb during my last audition; I was like- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

herlv3r · 2 months

Text

tip toe

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.

୨୧ synopsis: as le sserafim’s comeback had just released, your girlfriend is extremely busy with promotions and is under strict supervision. her managers have clearly warned you to stay away for the time being, but is that really going to stop you?

୨୧ pairing: gf!chaewon x fem!reader

୨୧ genre: fluff

୨୧ a/n: stream fimmies new mini album or else i WILL hunt you down

you grip on your fimbong as anticipation builds up in you like you’re about to explode. sitting in front of your tv, the screen counts down from its final minute. as the countdown nears its end, you can’t help but to stand up, adrenaline filling your veins.

even though your girlfriend already spoiled you their new song, you can’t help the excitement as if you’re hearing it for the first time all over again.

memories begin rushing in from when she first auditioned for woollim entertainment, then her time with izone, and finally le sserafim. you were there with her every step of the way. to say how proud you are is really an understatement.

your eyes gleam seeing chaewon’s outstanding visuals. and hearing her sing through the screen blesses your ears. how’d you get so lucky with her?

your phone rings violently as a call from chaewon comes through. answering it, a soft voice warms your ears.

“babe did you watch?!?” excitement is evident in her tone. you giggle at her question when it’s obvious you did. “of course i did! i wouldn’t miss even a second of it.”

you hear her small laugh amidst the busy background. “okay i gotta prepare for the showcase. i love you and i miss you.” your stomach fills with butterflies hearing those words escape her mouth. “good luck! i’ll be cheering for you.”

every comeback is always filled with busy schedules and strict rules. you can’t even remember the last time you’ve held her in your arms. you know dating a kpop idol comes with an unspoken requirement of being patient but you long for her.

the last time you attempted to see her during promotions got you banned from stepping in their dorms. as much as you want to see her, you have to do what’s best for your girlfriend.

hours past since the showcase and you haven’t heard anything from chaewon ever since. slumping in your seat, your brows drew together thinking heavily on what she could be doing at the moment.

suddenly a text notification causes your phone to vibrate. “i want to see you. pick me up at my dorm?” that burst of adrenaline comes rushing back to you, as you read word by word. excitedly getting up and gathering everything you need, you rush out the door without looking back.

who cares if you get banned again, it's worth the risk. after all, it's her personal request. how can you pass on something like that?

pulling up to her dorm, you hurriedly park and skipped your way to her room. once reaching her floor, you make eye contact with chaewon, her eyes widen in shock. the dumb smile on your face is quickly replaced with a terrified expression after realizing she's talking to her manager.

making the fastest u-turn in your life, you rush back down the stairs nearly tripping in the process. panting for air, you arrive back at the lobby searching for a place to hide.

several minutes past and you've finally calmed down. that was a close call you thought. as you slowly peek over your hiding place, a hard slap stings your head. looking back to see who it was, you're met with chewon glaring down at you. without saying a word, the expression on her face clearly says, "you're such a dumbass."

swiftly standing up, you engulf her in your arms as you squeeze the air out of her. "chaechae i missed you!!" in response, she pinches your waist causing you to squeal and back away.

attempting to rub the pain away, you look at her in confusion. why is she so violent today? has she finally lost it?

"god that was a close call. if my manager saw you first then our whole sneaking out plan is over." you swear you can see steam escaping from the top of her head as she complains.

tilting your head down, a sly smile forms on your lips. "but he didn't see me, so it's all good." she scoffs at you, rolling her eyes and taking your hand in hers. "come on let's go before we get caught." she drags you behind her as she sneakily makes her way back to your car.

you've been aimlessly driving for the past couple of minutes, unsure if chaewon even notices. you weren't expecting a spontaneous hang out today, so you were severely unprepared.

you're terrible at hiding things from her especially with the occasional side eyes you've been giving. she eventually catches on to you.

"how about a convenience store run, just like old times?" pursing your lips you glance at her as if you already had that thought. "pfft, yeah i was already heading there."

"but you just missed the turn..." staring at you, she furrows her eyebrows. "babe i can't see, it's dark out here." out of habit she smacks your arm causing you to swerve a little bit. too busy laughing uncontrollably to even notice.

arriving at the parking lot, you instruct chaewon to stay in the car hoping to avoid any unwanted attention.

walking in the store, you can't help but feel a little guilty. it's such a big day for chaewon but the only thing you can give her is cheap food. still, it's no excuse to not try to make the best out of the night.

making your way down several isles you surprisingly bump into chaewon already picking out items. stopping in your tracks, you cross your arms and tap your feet in disbelief. you cough deliberately, attempting to gain her attention.

"pfft, what?" she doesn't even bother looking at you. "what do you mean, 'what'?" slowly approaching her, you snatch the kimbap she was holding. quickly turning her head, she raises a brow.

"babe you're such a hypocrite. you got mad at me earlier for almost getting caught but look at you now." she snatches the kimbap back from your grasp. "it's okay, i'm covered up good."

finally acknowledging your disappointed look, she squeezes your cheeks. "baby i'm sorry. i'll be careful." giving in to her soft touch, you let it slide. how can you possibly get mad at her?

luckily you were able to leave without anyone recognizing your girlfriend. you wouldn't know what to do if someone did.

getting in the drivers seat, you're hit with realization of not knowing where to go next. resting your head on the steering wheel, you release an exasperated sigh as you struggle to think of a destination.

"make a right turn and take the next exit."

shooting your head up, you stare at the gps. confused as to why it spoke. your gaze shifts back and forth between chaewon and the route displayed on the car's screen, wondering if she had anything to do with it.

chaewon smiles as she comfortably sinks in her seat, "just drive baby." you study her expression, suspicious of her little scheme. "mhm... should i trust you?" the blank expression sitting on her face hints at you to just go without question. you nod in defeat and turned on the engine.

for what seemed like 30 minutes, you're starting to doubt your gps when it leads you to an isolated road. the only source of light that's surrounding you is the brightness of your headlights. it's like you're in a horror movie where you encounter an eerie girl standing on the side of the road.

an uneasy feeling in your stomach begins to stir just by thinking about it. you quickly glace at chaewon whose face is as pale as snow. "you good? you don't usually look as white." she grips on to her thighs and swallows hard. "why wouldn't i be? hehe..."

you knew what she felt at the moment. she's scared shitless. your heart starts to beat . "hey you can't be scared?! because i'm scared... we can't both be scared!"

her grasp transfers from her thigh to your shirt. "girl, just drive!" you immediately step on the gas without a second thought.

"you have arrived. your destination should be on the left." pulling up to a secluded area, a single bench facing a cliff sits under a soft lit lamp post. not creepy at all...

"welp, ladies first," you laugh awkwardly as you unlock the doors. she shook her head in disagreement. "what, you can't do that! you took me here." you lifted an eyebrow and crossed your arms.

"don't make me go out there first, please baby," the look in chaewon’s eyes has you completely entranced. heat rushes to your face, staining it red. it took you a moment to form a response. “you’re a coward,” you murmured.

you push your car door open and hopped out. stepping foot on the rocky ground, the cool evening breeze sends shivers down your spine. you felt vulnerable being outside the walls of your car. in a snap you hurriedly ran to the other side to open the door for your girlfriend.

chaewon steps out and gently pats your cheeks as a thanks. “okay come with me.” she interlocks your fingers, leaving you no choice but to follow.

as you slowly approach the edge of the cliff, the view of the city lights comes into sight, leaving you mesmerized. who knew such a place existed that overlooks the city. chaewon lets go of your hand, letting you take in the scenery.

gawking for too long, you didn’t even notice the feeling of fear had completely washed away. discovering chaewon’s slipped away from your side, you promptly turned around only to see her resting on the bench behind you. she pats the empty space beside her gesturing you to sit down.

“so how’d you know about this place?” you drop your weight on the old wooden material. chaewon shifts closer to you and rests her head on your shoulder.

“i used to come here a lot with my grandma. we’d clear our heads and just talk.” you’re left speechless as you figure out where this is heading. “i wanted to share it with you for awhile now.” your heart softens at her words, realizing you occupy a special place in her heart.

you chuckle as you start playing with her hair, "thank you."

you both sit in comfortable silence just admiring the night sky. after a short while, you felt chaewon's grip on your hand loosen. turning your head to look at her, her eyes completely closed as her chest rises and falls.

looking at the time, it's nearing 1 in the morning. she must be exhausted after such a busy day. you can't even imagine what she'll have to go through later.

you lightly squeeze her, attempting to not startle her. "baby let's take you home yeah?" she groans in response with her eyes still glued shut.

crouching down, you force her to get on your back. you carried her back to the car and gently placed her in the passenger seat. you slowly walked back to the drivers side, taking in the view one last time. bringing her back here for your anniversary would be lovely, you thought.

as you comfortably sunk in your seat, you removed your jacket and wrapped it around chaewon's small figure. she shifts in her spot, turning in your direction giving you a tired smile.

"i'm sorry, did i wake you?" you rub her cheek with your thumb. she timidly shakes her head no.

"if i had known you'd take me here, i would've prepared much more." she chuckles at your statement. "don't be silly, being here with you is more than enough." shutting her eyes again, she falls back asleep. releasing a satisfied hum, you start the engine once again.

the streetlights illuminated the quiet streets and cars sat empty in parking lots. parking in front of her building, you sat there admiring how peaceful and cute she looked.

you shook her softly, "chaewonie we’re here." she yawns heavily and stretches in her seat. rubbing her cheeks, she slowly opens her eyes taking in her surroundings. taking hold of her soft hand, you walk her inside.

arriving at her front door, she turns to you with her head down. "i don't want you to leave... stay with me a little longer?" she tightly clutches on the hem of your shirt. "please?"

without warning, the door bursts open revealing a fully awake eunchae. she looks at you and chaewon cringing. "damn guys it's late. wrap it up please."

"isn't it past your bed time?" chaewon lifts a brow. eunchae crosses her arms as she leans against the door frame. "do you want me to rat you out."

chaewon's eyes widen at eunchae's response. lifting a fist in the air, she makes a threatening gesture. "i'm your leader, you can't tell me what to do." she pushes eunchae back inside, shutting the door at her face.

rubbing your eyes, you can't help but laugh at their interaction. "what's so funny?" she nudges you. tucking her hair behind her ear, you sigh in contentment. "you're so cute, you know that?" she shyly giggles at your compliment.

wrapping her arms around your waist, she pulls you into her embrace. "well you better go in before she comes back out." moving her hands from your waist to your neck, she brings you in and pecks your lips.

a stupid grin forms on the corner of your lip, "do it again." she laughs at your request. connecting your lips once again, it lasts longer this time. her hands explore your back, drawing you even closer. this is what you longed for.

"maybe i should stay for a bit," you whisper into the kiss. pulling away chuckling, she punches your shoulder. "shut up and go home."

opening the door, she finds eunchae waiting, mocking her with kissy faces. "omg eunchae! didn't i tell you to go to sleep?!" you can hear eunchae hysterically laughing on the other side as she makes a run for her room.

your girlfriend turns back to you, pinching the bridge of her nose. "ugh, kids..."

"text me when you get home and as soon as you wake up. i love you and drive safe. good night my lover girl~" peeking throught the small gap of her door she gives you a cheeky smile.

"i love you too. good night~" leaning in, you shut the door for her.

#le sserafim #le sserafim x reader #kim chaewon #kim chaewon x reader #wlw #kpop #kim chaewon imagines #le sserafim imagines #lsrfm #gxg fluff #gxg scenarios #kpop fanfic

307 notes · View notes

firstkanaphans · 3 months

Note

Hello Sarah sorry to bother you. I'm a new fan kinda but I'm done with watching all the firstkhao dramas (together and individual) but tbh I'm kinda lost on how I will get to know them better. I have no idea about their irl personalities that much. Maybe you can give a little introduction for me if it's not too much of a bother? Also like how they met and why are they doing so many projects together? And are they good friends irl too (my friend told me a lot of time pair actors don't really get along with each other which is why I got curious about their dynamic) Sorry if these questions are a bit dumb I'm altogether very new in bl fandoms so don't have a lot of ideas.

Oh, Anon. I don’t think you know what you’ve signed up for here. If you want a FK primer, I can give you a FK primer!

Both First and Khaotung started working for GMMTV back in 2018. I’m pretty sure talent agents simply slid into their DMs, so there was no formal audition process, but I could be wrong about that. They were both in university at the time. I’m not quite sure what they were doing that attracted the attention of the talent agents. I know First had been in at least one commercial prior, but I don’t believe Khaotung had done any acting. He had, however, had a picture go viral because he’s just so stinkin’ adorable. I think maybe this one?

Or it could have been one of these…

Either way, they ended up in an acting workshop together right after they joined. Khaotung talks about how he didn’t like First at first because he was too friendly and talkative, but I think that must have only lasted for like a day because it was during this same workshop where he discovered that his heart beats to the sound of First’s name—“FirFirFir”—and yes, that is a real thing that he has admitted out loud on multiple occasions. They have been best friends ever since.

From there, the two of them began to act in individual projects—mostly BLs—and although I have no proof of this, I am entirely convinced that they were playing a long con to get themselves partnered together. They did way more fanservice before they were partnered than they do now. Feel free to watch this live from 2020 where they alternate between staring lovingly in each other's eyes and just outright flirting for an hour straight.

Look, they’re smart boys. They knew that their best path to success in this industry was to be in a fixed pair and they wanted that pair to be each other. How do I know? Because these two adorable idiots were showing up to events in matching outfits.

This picture was taken in January 2021 when Tonhon Chonlatee was actively airing! There's a picture from this same event of them with Podd, who Khao was paired with, and Podd looks like the odd man out.

They were finally paired together for The Eclipse in 2022 and spent the entire press tour either talking about how excited they were to finally work together or crying about the possibility that they might never be able to work together again. I would highly recommend you watch The Eclipse special episode if you haven’t already. In it, First talks about how there was one scene where Khao wasn’t supposed to cry but he kept crying anyway because First was crying and he cared about First so much.

And speaking of crying, if you want to watch a compilation of FK crying about how much they love each other (and other things!), you can find that here.

One thing I would recommend if you want to get to know FK better is to watch a bit of Safehouse Season 4. It’s unscripted, so you’ll get a sense of their personalities, but First was also in an arm cast at the time, so you’ll get to watch Khao dote on him for seven days straight.

Oh and you have to watch this! If you ever see people talking about the voices in First’s head, that's why.

Obviously, we can never truly know what goes on behind closed doors for any of these BL couples, but I feel pretty confident in saying that FirstKhao are genuine besties. They literally do everything together. You can find a collection of some of their lovestagram pics here although there are so many more now. It never stops.

Actual things they have said to each other un-prompted:

First to Khao: I want to build a house with the same fences as you.

Khao to First: As you grow up, you will meet many new friends. Leave them and stay with me.

I’m wracking my brain for anything else that feels important for a new fan to know and am coming up blank, but I’m sure I’ll probably think of something right after I post this. They’re both just super sweet individuals who have never been involved in any controversy and I think what people love most about them is just how much they care about each other. They’ve got that whole platonic soulmate thing going on and we're all super jealous.

#asks #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #firstkhao

152 notes · View notes

hungermakesmonsters · 6 months

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Two

Plot summary : When your friend interviews for a position at Anvil, you have a chance encounter with Billy Russo. He takes you for coffee and, by the time you’re done , Billy decides he’s anything but done with you.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : this one is pretty PG

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Nothing in this chapter is warning worthy, there’s a little tiny bit of sex talk but that’s it. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~2.8k

A/N : this chapter happens in the days after chapter one. Thank you so much to everyone who read and liked the last chapter, it really means the world to me!

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

You didn’t have the nerve to tell Tammy that you’d rejected Billy’s advances and that she’d probably not get the job because of you. You let her hold onto the idea that you’d been doing something good for her, instead of something stupid for you. The whole thing reminded you of why you’d become friends with her in the first place; when Tammy was being nice to you, when she wasn’t making petulant demands, she could be great to be around.

But, she kept asking when your date with Billy was and by the third day of waiting to hear about the job, you were taking extra deliveries just to avoid the apartment. You knew you’d have to tell her sooner rather than later, but you really were hoping it would be later, at least after you’d figured out a way to explain to her that you’d cost her a job because you’d told Billy Russo no.

And when she came into the den screeching and clutching her phone? You thought she finally knew the truth and were ready to give her the apology that you’d spent the last few days trying to practise.

“I got the fucking job!” She squealed, jumping up onto the sofa beside you.

“You - what?” It took a moment to hear her over the screeching and - no, surely Billy hadn’t given her a job just as a way of getting to you. He was a businessman, he wouldn’t do something so dumb just to get you into bed.

After the initial excitement fizzled out, Tammy dropped onto the sofa to sit beside you. “I start on Monday! I can’t believe I’m finally going to get my parents off my back.”

“I thought you didn’t even want the job at Anvil? Before the interview you said it sounded boring.”

“That was until I saw the guys that work there, I mean, it’s literally a building full of hotties. And I can still do auditions in the evenings and on weekends. Besides, most people work crappy jobs before they get famous.” To your surprise she was being very mature about the whole thing, though you weren’t sure how she’d deal with actually working a nine-to-five job.

“Well, I’m happy for you.” You forced a smile because you were happy, even if you weren’t sure that it wasn’t all going to fall apart when Billy realised he was never going to convince you to go to dinner with him

“Okay but you’re going to have to promise me you won’t fuck this up for me.”

“How would I even -”

“I get it, Billy Russo is hot, but I know what you’re like with guys...”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” You knew exactly what she meant, and that was the worst part. Tammy had tried, and failed, in the past to set you up, to put you on dating apps, and play wingman for her during double dates, and every time it had ended badly.

“Just don’t go leading him on and then ghosting or whatever it is you normally do to guys. I don’t need you pissing off my new boss.”

“I’ll try really hard not to, Tammy.” If she noticed you were being sarcastic, she didn’t seem to care.

It wasn’t long before she disappeared off to celebrate with her friends, leaving you alone in the apartment, leaving you to try and figure out what was going on. As much as Tammy was - well, let’s just say she had certain skills that would be helpful in a secretarial position, you just couldn’t figure out why she’d been given the job.

Billy Russo wasn’t an idiot, that much you were certain of; he wouldn’t hire Tammy just because of you. In fact, he probably wasn’t even involved in the hiring process. You were overthinking it. And, ultimately, it didn’t even matter because you weren’t going to see him again.

You weren’t going anywhere near the Anvil building ever again.

But that didn’t stop you from opening your laptop and Googling his name.

It felt like an invasion of privacy, reading through articles about Anvil’s financial successes, about the heroic ex-Marine who’d built the company from nothing and now gave so much back to his fellow veterans. Your stomach knotted at every photo taken at some gala or corporate event where he had some stunning woman hanging off his arm (women who, upon reading the image captions were revealed to be leaders in their fields; lawyers, models, psychiatrists, and even a surgeon). Jealousy had you closing your laptop, and self-loathing had you making a promise to yourself to stay away from Billy Russo and Anvil.

But it wasn’t that simple. You kept thinking about his smile, the way his dark eyes had looked at you like he wanted nothing more than to take you apart piece by piece, and the way his laugh had felt like the rarest sound you could draw from him. Most of all, you kept thinking about the kiss, playing it over and over. Sometimes you even found yourself wishing that you’d just said yes - what was the worst that could have happened?

(No, no, you didn’t want to think about that.)

You couldn’t stop yourself from going back to the Google search, over and over again, just to look at him. There was just something about him, something that made you feel like a ridiculous teenager with a crush, but every time you looked at his eyes, it did something to you; it made you want something you knew you couldn’t have.

You needed to stay away from him.

But Tammy had other plans.

Her first day of work, the following Monday, she’d begged you to drop her off. Then, once you were there, she’d demanded that you help her carry her things to the door, using the reasoning that she had taken the job for you as well as her, so you could keep the apartment that you both loved so much.

All you wanted to do was get out of there as quickly as possible, so the moment Tammy was by the door you were pushing the box into her arms and stepping away, all the while telling her that you couldn’t pick her up later because of work. Tammy tried to complain, tried to talk over you, but you didn’t stop; you were going to get as far away from that building as quickly as possible. Ignoring her frustration, you shouted good luck over your shoulder and started back towards your car.

Only, there was a surprise waiting for you when you got there.

“I like your strategy; in and out before anyone can notice you.” Billy smirked, his arms folded across his chest as he leaned against the driver’s side door of your car.

“Well, clearly it didn’t work...” you answered awkwardly, stopping a few feet away from him, out of his reach.

“It’s hard to pull off when you’re dealing with a Recon Marine,” he laughed, still smirking that smirk that looked so good on him. “I hoped we’d run into each other again.”

“It’s hardly running into each other when you own the building and you know what my car looks like,” you shrugged and Billy’s smile waivered a little. Your stomach knotted at the sight, at the way his playful smile dimmed to something that seemed almost forced. He took a breath, unfolded his arms and stood away from your car.

“Look, I just wanted to talk - to apologise - I guess I was a little heavy-handed last time,” the words were enough of a distraction that he managed to take a couple of steps towards you. “I just - I’m not very good at...” he let out an awkward laugh and threw his arms out in a shrug, not finishing the thought.

“Asking women out?” You offered with an uncomfortable huff of laughter. “I don’t believe that.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Why not?” And, just like that, you were being pulled into another one of his little games.

You could have walked around him, could have told him that you needed to go, but you didn’t. The truth was, that you enjoyed it, you liked that playful side of him, even though it wasn’t fair of you to indulge him when you knew you’d still have the same answer for him at the end of all this.

“Because you’re - you.” And that was all the answer you could offer him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Billy laughed and your cheeks started to warm again.

“You don’t exactly strike me as the type of guy who struggles to get dates?” He remained silent, a questioning look on his face; he wanted you to say what you both knew you were thinking. “You know, the whole tall, dark, and handsome thing you’ve got going on...”

“And you think that makes it easier for me?” His smile was back, that playful glint in his eye that you just couldn’t seem to say no to.

“Doesn’t it?”

“Well, you said no, didn’t you?”

Shit. You’d walked yourself into a trap.

“Not because of you - or, I mean, not because of anything you did. I just don’t date.” You started to play with the cuff of your hoodie, not sure what else you were supposed to say to him.

“What if it wasn’t a date? What if it was just two people going for dinner?”

“I think it’s a bit late for just dinner, Billy.”

“‘cause I kissed you?” your gaze dropped, cheeks burning hotter. “I shouldn’t have, I should’ve waited, I just - I have poor impulse control when it comes to things I want.”

You didn’t say anything - what could you even say to any of that?

“What if it wasn’t dinner?”

“Billy...” you sighed.

“Is it really so bad that I want to spend some time with you? Get to know you a little?”

Was it? The terrifying thing was the fact that he almost had you convinced, almost had you relenting and agreeing with him.

“I’m not really worth knowing,” you shrugged, “I’m nothing special, Billy. I’m just a bike messenger who spends most of her time driving her roommate around.”

“I like talking to you, you make me laugh,” Billy shrugged. “And I think you are worth knowing, and I don’t give a shit if you’re a bike messenger or a brain surgeon, it doesn’t change anything.”

“Right, one of New York's most eligible bachelors taking a bike messenger out to dinner, I can just picture it,” an embarrassing snort of laughter escaped you, “probably couldn’t take me to any of the fancy places that you’re used to, so what does that leave? Pizza Hut or Five Guys?”

“‘I’ll take you for pizza if that’s what you want. We could go right now?”

“Billy, it’s eight-thirty in the morning, I’m pretty sure Pizza Hut isn’t open yet.” You laughed, despite the feeling that you’d been letting this play out for far too long now.

“I’m sure we could find a way to kill some time until it opens?”

“Oh really?” You shot him a look, eyebrows raised, very unimpressed with what you thought he was implying.

“Hey, I meant go get a coffee or something, get your mind out of the gutter.” He grinned and you couldn’t help but laugh again.

“I’d just be wasting your time.”

“I don’t think I’d consider any time spent with you a waste,” he retorted without even missing a beat.

“You don’t even know me.”

“I don’t, but I want to.”

“Why?” Why was he being so persistent? What did he think he was going to get from you?

“Why does anyone get to know anyone?”

“I don’t know.” And you really didn’t, that was the saddest part of all. “I’m not your type.”

“And what do you think my type is?” He asked, barely managing to hold back a laugh.

“Doctors, lawyers, psychiatrists - women who make at least six figures a year?” You realised far too late what you’d given away. “Women whose wardrobes cost more than I’ll make in my lifetime?”

“Did you Google me?” Billy asked, not even trying to hold back the smirk.

“N-no, I just - it came up when I was researching the job for Tammy.”

You fell silent and, for a few moments, so did Billy, long enough for it to make things feel all the more awkward when he finally spoke again.

“I’m not a bad guy, y’know.”

You looked at him, confused, not sure what he meant. Your fingers kept picking at the stitching on your cuff, and Billy seemed to notice.

“I’m making you uncomfortable.” He was, but you hated that he knew it. It wasn’t so much him that was the issue, it was you, it was all the messed up things in your past that made you the way you were.

“I don’t think you’re a bad guy, Billy." You said, not wanting to address whether or not he was making you uncomfortable because it was less him and more the general situation.

"Then let me prove it to you." You didn’t respond. “Just give me one night.”

“And, what? I’m supposed to fall madly in love with you?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“Not that. I don’t - love isn’t a thing I’m capable of, it’s not something I’m interested in.” He explained, like it was such a simple and ordinary thing.

“Then why waste a night together if you don’t even want it to go anywhere?”

“There are plenty of other places it could go. I could show you the best night of your life and, at the end of it, if you wanted to walk away from me, you could.” Billy shrugged.

“So you just want sex? There are easier ways to get laid, Billy.” You told him with an awkward sort of laugh.

“I don’t want easy, I want you.” Normally you’d laugh at a line like that, but the way he was looking at you, the way he looked like he was barely holding back from showing you just what he meant right there in the parking lot kept you silent. “Tell me you haven't thought about it, that you’re not thinking about it right now; how it’d feel to spend the night with me inside you.”

You bit your lip, giving away far more than you wanted to.

Yes, you’d thought about it - how could you not?

“Billy...” you sounded almost breathless and that really didn’t help the point you were trying to make.

“I can make you feel things you’ve never felt before.” The way he said it made you want it, made you want things that you knew you shouldn’t.

“So, you’d fuck me then leave me?”

“Not if you didn’t want that.” He took the slightest step forwards and you couldn’t bring yourself to recoil.

“But you said -”

“I said I wasn’t interested in love, that doesn’t mean that it has to be a one and done thing, if you don’t want it to be.” Billy offered like this was some business deal and you were negotiating the terms. You could see why Anvil was so successful with him in charge.

“Fuck buddies then? Until - what? - you get bored of me?” You didn’t even know why you were encouraging him, why you were playing his game and letting the conversation drag on.

“Or you get bored of me,” Billy shrugged. “Admit it, you’re thinking about it. You’re thinking about what it’d be like to fuck me.”

“Maybe I am, but that doesn’t change anything. I don’t date and I don’t think sleeping with you would do either of us any good.”

He waited a moment before dropping; “was the last guy really that bad?”

And, just like that, everything seemed to change.

“What?” It was obvious though, wasn’t it? You should have been surprised that he hadn’t put it together sooner; you didn’t date because your ex had been a real piece of shit to you. A moment later, you shook your head. “It’s not - I don’t like to talk about it...”

You steeled yourself for what came next; the endless questions, trying to figure out what had happened to you and just how bad it was, how he could fix you. Only, it never came. He didn’t push, didn’t try to convince you that he was better than whoever might have hurt you. Instead, he seemed resigned, like he knew he couldn’t do any of that.

“I’m sorry,” he offered softly, “I’ll leave you alone.”

And, just like that Billy seemed to give up, his smile almost completely gone, replaced by a look that you didn’t want to think about. It wasn’t quite pity, but instead an uncomfortable compassion, an almost understanding. Someone had hurt him too, you realised. You frowned, frozen in place as he closed the distance between you and gently pressed his lips to your cheek.

“You know where to find me if you ever change your mind.”

As he pulled away from you, your breath caught in your chest, but you didn’t dare watch as he walked away from you. It was too dangerous, you knew you’d say something, knew you’d call him back.

CHAPTER THREE

END NOTE : so the first two chapters were mostly set up, from next chapter onwards things will actually start to go somewhere. From this point on, things will get smutty and dark. The next three chapters are mostly done and I'll probably start scheduling chapters to post on the weekends going forwards.

Thanks for reading, I hope you have a wonderful day!

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #the punisher #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x female reader #ben barnes #cmiyc ff

159 notes · View notes

rorywritesjunk · 4 months

Text

Let's be one another's present tense

Buggy ‘rescues’ you from an abusive situation, and after a less than stellar introduction, he has you audition for his crew to keep you safe. You want safety, security, and joining a circus seems like the best idea.

Rating: R-ish for now. Warning: Swearing, soft Buggy, sort of terrible communication but in a soft way, both of them are just a bit dumb. Kissing. A/N: This story is opposite of my Kid Buggy series and I love that for myself.

Title comes from “Crater Lake” by Lady Lamb.

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 (NC-17) + Chapter 10 + Chapter 11 + Chapter 12 + Chapter 13 TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @neuvilleteismybby @fluffybunnyu @sinning-23 @the-angriest-angel @ane5e

Chapter 6

The makeup didn’t work underwater.

Once you were submerged it didn’t take long before it started running down your face and getting into the water. You immediately resurfaced, coughing and wiping at your face as it burned your eyes. Buggy’s hand was there in a moment with a towel, helping dry your face as he watched from below.

“So, no on the makeup right now?” He asked. You took the towel from him and wiped your face before throwing it back at him.

“Fuck no!” You shot back. “It burns my damn eyes, you asshole!”

“Oh it can’t be that bad!”

You glared at him as you climbed out of the tank. Cabaji greeted you with a hot cup of tea while Buggy handed you a dry towel. It was that bad. Your eyes hurt because the makeup clearly wasn’t waterproof. At least Buggy had the sense to help you back to the room as you squinted through the discomfort, occasionally holding your tea with one hand while rubbing at your eyes with the other.

“Stop, you’ll make it worse.” He sighed as he had you sit down at the vanity in his room. You kept your eyes shut, resisting the urge to keep rubbing them. Buggy grabbed a clean washcloth and took hold of your head as he wiped at the makeup running down your face. You inhaled sharply at the touch, not realizing he was that close to you. It was just a little… something having your eyes closed while he touched you, but you couldn’t put your finger on what that feeling was.

He took his time cleaning your face of the ruined makeup, eventually getting a cream to help with the last of it. Buggy didn’t say anything as he worked, being mindful of how he put his hands on your face, how gentle he was. He didn’t want to startle you, knowing you were already a little on edge from how the makeup caused you discomfort. He wasn’t going to give up just yet. He would find something that would work.

“All done.”

You opened your eyes, letting them readjust to the light as you looked up at your captain. He actually wasn’t done, wiping the washcloth over your lips to get the last remnants of the yellow lipstick he had applied. You almost wanted to mention how he should hold off in case he kissed you again, marking you with the red color from his own lips, but you kept quiet, instead leaning into his touch as you had done before.

“You good?” He asked as he moved the washcloth away from your mouth, his thumb tracing over your bottom lip to make sure the last of the color is gone. You wanted to nod but he still had a gentle hold on you, and before you could stop you were pressing your lips to his thumb again, like you had done before, and you saw the way his eyes widened slightly, heard the hitch in his breath as he pressed his thumb down against your lip gently. You repeated the action once again before he pulled his hand away.

“We’ll try again in a few weeks.” He said quietly as he looked away from you. “I want your eyes to feel better.”

And a few weeks passed pretty quickly.

Buggy had put the cot away during that time, citing that the unpredictable weather meant a storm could happen at any point, so you had permission to sleep in his bed. And he wasn’t wrong, a few more storms came, but nothing that would have caused you too much discomfort. You didn’t mind sleeping in an actual bed, it was way more comfortable than the cot. You just tried to make sure not to invade his space too much, which was hard because he always managed to invade yours. You fell asleep with him on one side of the bed only to wake up with his arms around you and his hair in your face. It wasn’t a bad way to wake up.

After dinner one night, Cabaji came to your shared bedroom and left a bag with Buggy. You were cautious when the pirate's eyes lit as he took the bag from him. He shut the door and looked at you with a grin.

“Waterproof makeup delivery.” He chuckled as he dumped the contents on the bed, pawing through it to see what the other pirate picked out. “Oh, bright colors, perfect.”

“Y’know, if we cleaned the tank you could see me.” You pointed out as Buggy gestured for you to sit down. You did so without hesitation, knowing there was no point in fighting him on this. He was insistent on doing your makeup, to find the right look for you when you performed. “You wouldn’t have to do all this. I hate wasting your time.”

He looked up from pawing around the pile of makeup, frowning at you. “It’s not a waste of my time.”

Oh. You were a little taken aback. Did he actually enjoy this? Granted, besides sleeping, it was the only time you two were alone without risk of the crew interrupting you and you… liked it when it was just the two of you. He was a different person when he wasn’t shouting at everyone to be perfect. You liked having Buggy to yourself, and if you had to sit through multiple makeover sessions, then so be it.

He was touching your face before you even realized it, eyeliner pencil in his hand that claimed to be water and smudge proof. You closed your eyes when he told you to, sighing softly as he held your face still. At this point you knew what to do but you liked feeling his hands on you, the gentle touches that kept you still while he added some flair to your face. And sometimes you acted just a bit obnoxious, pulling away slightly so he could tighten his hold on you to keep you from moving.

“After all this time I still have to tell you what to do.” He mused as he finished with the eyeliner and grabbed the mascara next, tearing the package open first before reading what it was actually waterproof (he just assumed). “Tsk tsk, Cupcake. What am I going to do with you?”

“Just don’t stop touching me.” You murmured.

You both paused. Your eyes shot open and you stared up at him; he was looking down at you curiously, mascara wand out and ready for your eyelashes. You couldn’t believe what you just said to him. Did he even hear you? He must have, because he got that look in his eye, the one where he was about to remind you who was in charge. You swallowed heavily and tried to sink into your chair.

“Well, well, something you’d like to share with the rest of the class?” Buggy teased as he set the makeup down. “Hm? You like me touching you, do you?”

“I, um, well-” You didn’t know what to say. You did like it. You liked this kind of intimacy you shared with him, being close while he touched you like this, expecting nothing in return but your patience (which waned from time to time).

“What about when I kissed you?” He asked as he held you still, his face now close to yours. You swallowed heavily and nodded, your hands moving to the front of his shirt to grip tightly. Buggy looked down at you for a moment, eyes searching for any hint of teasing on your end, before he smiled and pressed his lips gently to yours.

You expected him to pull back, to point and laugh and tease you about this, but he held onto the kiss for a moment longer than you expected. His eyes were closed while you kept yours open, unsure now if this was the right thing to do. He was your Captain, who you shared a bed with, who held you in his arms while you both slept, and sometimes you’d wake up to him whispering in your ear, about keeping you safe now and you will never need to leave him.

He was your Captain and he was kissing you. On the lips.

Buggy broke the kiss after what felt like an eternity.

“You good?”

You could only nod, now speechless because what did this mean now? Did he like you? You were pretty sure you liked him, given the rough introduction you initially had with him, and the fact he pissed you off from time to time, you found yourself actually liking him.

“I need you to tell me.” He told you as he touched your cheek gently. “Words, Cupcake.”

And the way he spoke to you like that, gentle yet commanding, you hated that you loved it.

“I'm… I'm good, Captain.” You replied shakily as you leaned towards his hand. “Really.”

He stroked your cheek before pulling his hand back. You reached out for it, not wanting him to stop, but he held up the mascara once more. Oh, right, he wanted to finish what he started. He held you still once more, the bristles of the mascara wand carefully coating your eyelashes as he focused on the task at hand. You were both quiet and you wondered what he was thinking.

Just because you liked him didn't mean he felt the same way. He could just be toying with you, pitying you even because you were this broken toy he picked up, slapping some tape and glue on it to fix it. It could do the job for a while but eventually you'd break again.

“Glad to hear it.” He murmured as he put the mascara away. “May kiss you again once I'm done here.”

Your heart jumped into your throat and you leaned back in the chair as you watched him look over different lipsticks. He tossed aside any that were in shades of blue or purple, not wanting to see that on you when you were under water. Brighter colors were better, the yellows, greens, oranges. Red would be too similar to his but he wouldn't say no to pink. Maybe pink and yellow, smudged together on your lips would work and copy the effect with eyeshadow as well.

“Captain, can I ask something?” You managed to say without your voice shaking too much. He hummed in response as he looked over different shades of pink lipstick. “Do… you like me? In the… romantic way?”

He paused what he was doing and looked at you. Oh, you felt dumb asking that. Why did you ask that? Kissing you was one thing, but asking if he liked you was a whole other Pandora's box that you just threw the lid off of with that question. You couldn't read his expression as he uncapped the lipstick and marked it on the top of his hand, making sure the shade was right.

“I did say you were cute when we first met.” He finally said with a shrug. “And still think you are.” Buggy took hold of you again, his grasp just a bit firmer than before as he began applying the pink lipstick. “And if someone else asked, I suppose I would say I liked you to keep them away from you, Cupcake.”

“But, do you?” You asked when he set the pink color down and grabbed the yellow. “Like me in that way?”

Buggy sighed as he uncapped the yellow color, marking it against his hand before smudging the two colors together to see if they blended well. “Do I need to spell it out for ya?”

“... Probably.” You admitted. He rolled his eyes and sighed again.

“Yes, I like you in a romantic way.” He told you, sounding just a touch frustrated before he held the lipstick up to you. “There, I said it. I figured between cuddling you and getting you towels would have made it obvious but I guess I was wrong.”

Your eyes widened slightly. Oh. As loud as Buggy was and how much he could talk, he really wasn't going to tell you how he felt in a straightforward way. It was gestures, touches, little things but not necessarily words.

“Sorry, uh, I guess I wasn't… aware.” You replied. “I guess when you kissed me the first time it should have been a sign, but I was a bit too… surprised.”

“Mhm, surprised, guarded, on edge.” He counted off as he held up the yellow lipstick for you to see. “I probably should have said something after that but… didn't cross my mind.”

You shrugged as he started applying the lipstick, looking up into his eyes as he worked. If he kissed you that first time, then it was only fair that you got to kiss him this time. You waited until he was done with the lipstick, because next he was smudging the colors together on your lips and around your mouth, and when you saw opportunity, you took it, grabbing the front of his shirt and jerking him down to you as you crushed your newly painted lips against his.

And to your delight, he let you, resting his hands on the back of his chair for support while you held him down to you.

Once you broke the kiss, you decided next time the two of you kissed you'd both be standing up. The chair was making it just a bit uncomfortable.

#buggy the clown #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #buggy x you #opla buggy the clown #buggy the clown x you #opla buggy the clown x reader #opla buggy x reader #opla buggy the clown x you #opla buggy the clown x oc #opla buggy x oc #buggy the clown x oc #buggy x oc

111 notes · View notes

notimminent · 1 month

Text

So time to be sappy on main.

The top left picture was taken March 12, 2015. Two days after making my Emma blog. I was about to graduate high school and go to college, leave the nest and be independent. Hoping to start my career in acting. 2015 was one of the hardest years of my life and one of the most emotionally traumatic. My first college boyfriend wasn’t a nice person to me, to be vague. 8 months of my life was taken up by him with my only escape being tumblr as I made the dumb mistake of getting him into my colleges theater program.

Throughout these years, through ups and downs, tumblr and Emma have been there for me.

I got married this year. I never even imagined myself having a wedding, let alone finding someone who balanced my weirdness with a nerdy grounding in science. I went from being taken advantage of by the theater system where I was interning at (80 hrs a week with being paid only $150 and no housing accommodations) where I met my future husband because I had no time to meet people so I downloaded hinge at 11pm in the stage managers booth and he commented on my Carmen Sandiego cosplay, to being jobless during the pandemic and trying to figure out where I fit into the world. Theater didn’t exist in lockdown, not the way I knew it. During lockdown was when I got my first acting role outside of college. I was in a short film and it won an award.

Since lockdown, I did retail and now work a stinky corporate job. Most importantly, though, I’m doing what I wanted to do since I was a child. I’m auditioning and acting on camera. I’m a lead role in an indie film (top right photo was taken on set last weekend) and have a few other projects that will hopefully be in the works. I’m able to actually try to learn about my mental health and learn who I am and try to grow from the trauma I’ve endured. I am in such a different place than I thought I would be in 2015 and I’m so proud of myself.

2015 Shannon, hoping you were going to make it and do acting, you’re doing it. You are working towards your goal and learning to love yourself. I like to think you’d be proud of me, and I’m so proud of what we’ve become and what we are going to continue to grow to be.

9 years and counting.

#sappy post #ooc #ooc;;#[ out of breath ;; ]#I blame ghostbusters for making me emotional #sorry this is gross because mobile #[ mobile post ;; ]#[ Munday ;; ]#[ my face ;; ]

19 notes · View notes

junietuesday · 5 months

Note

Hiiii June idk who this is but y’all are working hard so if you’re so inclined I’d love a bit about Jeremy and the SQUIP being friends (going back to my bmc roots with this one….) feel free to get as non canon as you want bc you would need it with this one alskskdjj

vote glenn close and receive a drabble!

“It feels dumb being alone in here,” says Jeremy as he climbs up the steps to the stage. “What if someone sees me?”

“Don’t worry,” says the SQUIP, and its easygoing, chill tone settles Jeremy’s nerves a little. “I’ve hijacked the remote locking system for the auditorium doors. Just focus on those moves.”

Mr. Reyes had inserted a big dance number into A Midsummer’s Nightmare About Zombies. Christine had been distraught: “I love musical reinterpretations as much as the next gal, but this is just spitting on Shakespeare’s vision!” she’d protested, jumping up from her seat. “And this is the fall play. We don’t even have a choreographer or music director or—”

“Those cheap choreographers and music directors the school hires every year don’t comprehend my vision!” Mr. Reyes had declared. “Which is why I will be in charge of this dance number. Now, everyone, out of your seats—first we’ll be starting with your basic jazz square…”

And now here Jeremy is, forced to practice in the theater after hours, because he auditioned for a play and did not think he’d need the coordination to dance. Luckily, he’ll be standing in the back for most of it, but still…

“I’ll play the music in your brain,” says the SQUIP. “Three, two, one—”

“Wait!”

“What?”

“How do I do this without a partner?” Jeremy mumbles.

The SQUIP stays silent for a moment. “Put your hands up like a partner is there,” it tells him at last. “I’ll stimulate your nerve endings to feel pressure where there’s none.”

“…Weird…”

“Quantum nanotechnology,” the SQUIP says. “Now enough delays. Just start dancing. You want to impress Christine during the next rehearsal, don’t you?”

“I do…” But staring out from the empty stage, Jeremy feels his heartbeat pick up. His palms are sweating. He takes a tentative step forward, the beginning of one of those jazz squares Mr. Reyes is obsessed with, and the sound of his sneaker hitting wood echoes through the entire auditorium. “I don’t think I can do this,” he says in a rush. “I can’t dance. I’m gonna look like an idiot.”

“I can flood your brain with serotonin and cut off your adrenaline,” the SQUIP offers cheerfully.

“No! No messing with my feelings!”

If the SQUIP were to materialize itself in Jeremy’s vision right now, he knows it would be rolling its eyes. “Fine, if you want to do it the slow way…” But then its voice softens. “No one’s here, so you don’t need to worry about looking like an idiot. I told you I took care of that already. Would you rather look like a fool at rehearsal tomorrow because you didn’t practice? Or do you want to show up and dazzle Christine with your style? You know what you’re doing. You just need to let your body’s muscle memory catch up with your brain. So start dancing. You can do it.”

“…Okay,” says Jeremy quietly. He takes a deep breath, holds it, and lets it go. “Okay. Start the music.”

#be more chill #bmc #bmc musical #the squip #jeremy heere #stagedorks #asks #june speaks #@thatbeautifulsound #my writing #THANKS FOR THE VOTE! tried to balance the squip being friendly enough to count as jeremy’s friend but still not lose its canon character #entirely. hopefully i succeeded? also i missed writing jeremy. i love him hes just like me fr

16 notes · View notes

bemingyue · 6 months

Text

★ ⸻ heylo, this is red (25+, they/them) bringing you my lovely tangerine, liu mingyue! been a hot minute since i've did tumblr rp so please bear with me ! read more of mingyue under the cuts. do like this post and i'll reach out !

profile / plots / points / playlist

basics !

liu mingyue is from beijing, china! you can call him mingyue, mingyu for those who want to address his korean name, mingming for those who cannot pronounce his name, and xiao ming or ah yue for those REALLY close.

back in beijing, he was a child actor for a few years. nothing big scale, mostly him just taking roles of child versions of male leads.

tw / death. his family consists of his father, his mother (who is deceased) and his younger sister of five years. mingyue is quite the momma's boy and the reason of him liking singing and wanting to be an idol. he would sing in his mother's last days and when she told him he was meant for the world to listen, he took it quite to heart to show the world his singing. or wants to.

he came to seoul around the age of fifteen after joining this global audition program in beijing. trained under this no name entertainment for a good three years and did not make it to the debut line up. left ultimately because the company wasn't going to debut any other people for the next few years.

he didn't go back to beijing though, he continued his education in an international school and eventually in snu under accounting and business management. he's rather privileged thanks to his father being a huge business back in beijing and him studying his major now is a safety net more so if he never gets to debut

here are some things that i would like for mingyue to be plotted with if given the chance or interest !!

best friends! someone whom maybe he met during his time in the international school or student exchange program?? cross school events??? or even in snu

enemy or sorts? someone who calls out his privileges even if he never really brags about it. he really likes shopping for clothing on coupang or streets of hongdae or myeongdong tbh but your muse sees thru his richness or wtv

roommate/housemate??? i believe he's staying on campus ground but between that to the company, its some distance. so he'd like staying somewhere in the middle

exes!! just one, and someone he agreed to date in his earlier years of staying in seoul where he was a dumb teenager (say they dated when they were around 16-18). lots of language barrier and misunderstandings. even broke up over the dumbest reason??

people who make him feel like home? fellow mandarin speaker trainees. where other people may be celebrating chuseok but they can have their little hot pot session and mahjongs. silly banters over formalities usage because saying ge and jie is better than hyung and noona

vocal rivals,, fave duet partner. people who just constantly help mingyue be a better singer whether they are meant to be friends or rivals in the practice room

a muse perhaps? someone he's infatuated with and writes songs about but never publicly addresses his infatuation. maybe your muse eventually finds his scrapped and crumbled writings??

#be:intro #★ ⸻ red talks

6 notes · View notes

justplainwhump · 2 years

Text

@for-the-love-of-nsfwhump helped me out of my writing slump for a second, so have this short WRU scene before I withdraw again.

Alan teaches junior handler Tyler how to add the finishing touches to an already good product.

[Angel's story]

Content (warnings): BBU, facility whump, dehumanising language, handler pov, vaguely referenced noncon/dubcon (BBU romantic training)

"We need to prepare her for her owner," Nguyen said as Tyler entered the small staff room. He never spent much time on casual conversation. Usually Tyler didn't care much - he wasn't at WRU to make friends, either. But after his sixteen hour shift with 238, it kind of rubbed him wrong.

"Say what," he replied. "Good thing we've been doing that for the past seven weeks already."

It earned him a surprised chuckle, as Nguyen looked up from the file. "Oh, someone didn't get much sleep last night, huh? Still. Watch your tone, handler."

"She's excellent." Tyler shrugged, trying to keep himself from crossing his arms defensively. He was doing decent work here. He wouldn't let Nguyen undermine that. "The best romantic in training in this facility. We've shipped trainees with far less skill than this one, and still reached full client satisfaction."

"We're not being paid to deliver good, we're being paid to deliver perfect." Nguyen smirked. "And even if we weren't, that's the only result I expect from myself. And from you, too, Handler Parker."

Tyler ran a nervous hand through his hair. Yeah. Fuck. He'd let his tiredness wash away his reason. He couldn't disappoint Nguyen. "Um. Yes, Sir. Thank you for your trust. What do you need?"

"Better." His boss smiled. "Even though, the real question is, what does the client need."

"He..." Tyler began, but Nguyen talked over him.

"He wants a slut, he wants a spoilt, pretty, needy bitch who will do absolutely anything for him, and let him do absolutely anything to her. He will want her ready at any time, just one word to make her spread her legs and beg for him."

"But she is. She's -"

"She's doing her duty, Parker. That's great, but it's not good enough. Here." He put a flash drive on the table and looked at Tyler with a raised eyebrow.

Tyler hated his games. Sometimes, he wondered if Nguyen considered him a trainee as well. He certainly treated him like it.

"What's on it?", he asked anyway. No use in playing dumb.

"Voice samples. Client has a great voice, gave us some tapes from his auditions. Some he even recorded just for this."

"This?"

"This. The next stage. We've been edging 238 long enough. Now, she's finally allowed to get that relief that she's craving. And she's going to hear her owner's voice during it, each and every time she comes." Nguyen smiled. "When we're done, his voice alone will be enough to send her to the edge. And then, it's up to him what he does with it. She'll melt in his hands. No act. Just pure, beautiful need. Need for him. That, Parker. That's what I call perfection."

#bbu #facility whump #bbu romantic #angels story #alan nguyen #tyler parker

55 notes · View notes

niamflopped · 1 year

Text

By Neil McCormick, Music Critic, The Daily Telegraph

9 November 2022

“Do you mind if I smoke?” asks Louis Tomlinson, tapping cigarette ash into an empty Coke bottle. “The modern man smokes a vape, apparently. But I still smoke ciggies. I’m a judgemental fucker, and I hate vapers.”

The former One Direction boyband star certainly does like a cigarette, getting through half a dozen during an hour-long encounter in a hotel boardroom that reeks of stale tobacco. “Maybe I drink too much for a singer. Maybe I smoke too much for a singer. But it can be quite demanding, this life. So, for me to have those little vices, it’s important.”

Scruffily unshaven, in gym wear and trainers, the 30-year-old hops up to open a window, while chatting away in a friendly and engaged manner. “I never really chose this life,” he insists, with a strong Doncaster accent (though he lives in Hertfordshire now). “I auditioned for X Factor and crossed me fingers. And now, here I am.”

In 2010, at the age of 18, Tomlinson and four other young hopefuls (Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Liam Payne and Zayn Malik) were assembled into a boyband mentored by entertainment impresario Simon Cowell. Although they didn’t win the talent show, their impish appeal saw them rise to become the most successful manufactured group of the modern era, achieving levels of fan mania comparable to the early days of The Beatles.

Together for five frenzied years, 1D have scored four number one albums, sold more than 200 million records worldwide, notched up over 21 billion streams, won seven BRIT awards and their final tour in 2015 grossed over $200 million (£173 million) in revenue. For a time, Tomlinson’s floppy fringe adorned teenage bedrooms all over the planet. There was considerable hysteria when 1D said they were taking a “hiatus”, citing exhaustion.

Tomlinson was the oldest member (two years Styles’s senior) with the shakiest voice but adored by fans for his genuine smile, wacky fashions and undisguised pleasure at being part of the gang.

Styles had a cheeky swagger, Malik was the sensuous R&B singer, Horan the folkie-next-door, whilst Payne was a cocky Jack the lad (whose solo career has been a bit of a washout). As time went by, Tomlinson shed insecurities to get more involved in songwriting, helping push 1D’s pop rock side.

His second solo album, Faith in the Future (out on Friday) dials up the guitars, building on his chart-topping 2020 solo debut album Walls, inspired by Britpop and indie, the music of his pre-fame youth. It is not a sound you would particularly associate with 1D. “I don’t relate to right-down-the-middle pop,” he admits. “But I wouldn’t say that was dumbed down in One Direction. Maybe I dumbed it down myself. Maybe I assumed I couldn’t be exactly who I was.”

Tomlinson was the last of the five members to release an album, and reveals that he was a reluctant solo artist, upset by the band’s decision to separate at the height of their world-beating success in 2016. “It was a bit daunting. I’d just got to a stage where I really started to feel like I found my rhythm, I was enjoying songwriting, I felt like I finally worked out where I am in that band. And then it’s like: ‘Okay, well, now we’re going on a break.’ So there was a bit of petulance from my end, I was frustrated.”

He admits that he has felt competitive with his former bandmates and been jealous of Styles’s enormous solo success. “I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at first. Only ’cos I didn’t know where to place myself, and really my only point of reference was other members of the band. But it’s not surprising to me that Harry's the most commercially successful because he really fits the mould of a modern star. He’s not just doing music, he’s got film as well, and the (stadium) tour he’s done is unbelievable. It took me a while to work out where I stand. But I look on Harry like a brother, man. I have a lot of pride for what he’s doing.”

He says band members are quietly supportive of each other. “I’m sure the lads will text me when the album comes out, we check in on each other, we’re good like that. I bumped into Niall (Horan) at Glastonbury, and even though we hadn’t spoken all year, it was like absolutely no time had passed. Because we've lived through such experiences together in One Direction, this bond that we have is for life.”

He has seven younger half-siblings, one of whom, Félicité Tomlinson, died of an accidental drug overdose in 2019. “I’m coping good, man,” he says. “I’m a glass half-full person because what’s the alternative? I’m not saying that there have not been some dark days, because there have. But I had a really lovely upbringing, and my mum was as good as gold.

“Even though she’s not here anymore, I wouldn’t want her to feel guilty for what happened. She wouldn’t want that to define my life and my happiness.”

He also feels a sense of responsibility to his family. “I’m the oldest of all my siblings, and I knew that I had to put on a brave face.”

Nonetheless, Tomlinson, who is also father to a five-year-old son, whom he shares with his ex-girlfriend, confesses wariness when it comes to talking about it. “It carries its own weight emotionally and I’m wanting to escape that because I don’t want people f-----g feeling sorry for me.”

Another piece of 1D fanfiction is being adapted for forthcoming movie The Idea of You, starring Anne Hathaway as an older woman having an affair with a boyband star. “It’s weird, all that s---,” tuts Tomlinson, disapprovingly. “But there’s not much you can do about it. I’d rather they didn’t, like, but it is what it is. I won’t be watching it.”

******

Same old, same old

Smokes heavily in interview ✅

Defends and dismisses his smoking and his alcohol consumption, and displays no awareness of their impact on his vocals or general health ✅

Demonstrates jealousy of Harry ✅

Makes sure Larries know he disapproves of them and thinks of Harry as a 'brother', not a boyfriend ✅

Shades Harry, this time by saying he's had 'the most commercial success' when Harry has also had far and away the most critical acclaim too. ✅

Swears heavily ✅

Looks scruffy, dressed in a tracksuit ✅

Asserts that he's Mr Optimism✅

States that he wants a 1d reunion ✅

Doesn't talk in depth about his writing & recording process because other people do that for him ✅

Says he was upset when 1d went on hiatus ✅

New for 9/11/22:

Describes Briana as his ex girlfriend!

#louis tomlinson telegraph #louis tomlinson #harry styles #niall horan #lt2 #zayn #silver tongues #1d reunion #faith in the future

20 notes · View notes

louisupdates · 1 year

Text

Louis Tomlinson on his new album, struggling with fame and a One Direction reunion

The boyband star on his love of rock music, finding his own voice outside of One Direction, losing close family and fame's strangest moments

BY NEIL MCCORMICK (9.11.22)

He's kidding, but the former One Direction boyband star certainly does like a cigarette, getting through half a dozen during an hour-long encounter in a hotel boardroom that reeks of stale tobacco. “Maybe I drink too much for a singer. Maybe I smoke too much for a singer. But it can be quite demanding, this life. So, for me to have those little vices, it’s important.”

Tomlinson is getting ready for the release this week of his second solo album, Faith in The Future. He seems both nervous and excited. “The lows are lower in a solo career, but the highs are higher,” he suggests. “Because you are not one of 4 or 5 anymore, you have to take full responsibility for everything, so it hits you at both ends.”

Tomlinson was the oldest member (two years Styles’s senior) with the shakiest voice but adored by fans for his genuine smile, wacky fashions and undisguised pleasure at being part of the gang. Styles had a cheeky swagger, Malik was the sensuous R&B singer, Horan the folkie-next-door, whilst Payne was a cocky Jack the Lad (whose solo career has been a bit of a washout). As time went by, Tomlinson shed insecurities to get more involved in songwriting, helping push 1D’s pop rock side.

Faith in the Future (out on Friday) dials up the guitars, building on his chart-topping 2020 solo debut album Walls, inspired by Britpop and indie, the music of his pre-fame youth. “I used to spend all my Friday nights in this place called Priory, it was f---ing unbelievable: £10 all you can drink! That’s been banned now. It was in that bar where I fell in love with guitar music.”

Although he retains a fondness for a big chorus, it is not a sound you would particularly associate with 1D. “I don’t relate to right-down-the-middle pop,” he admits. “But I wouldn’t say that was dumbed down in One Direction. Maybe I dumbed it down myself. Maybe I assumed I couldn’t be exactly who I was.”

“It was a bit daunting. I’d just got to a stage where I really started to feel like I found my rhythm, I was enjoying songwriting, I felt like I finally worked out where I am in that band. And then it’s like: ‘Okay, well, now we’re going on a break.’ So there was a bit of petulance from my end, I was frustrated.”

He admits that he has felt competitive with his former bandmates and been jealous of Styles’s enormous solo success.

“I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at first. Only ’cos I didn’t know where to place myself, and really my only point of reference was other members of the band. But it’s not surprising to me that Harry's the most commercially successful because he really fits the mould of a modern star.

"He’s not just doing music, he’s got film as well, and the (stadium) tour he’s done is unbelievable. It took me a while to work out where I stand. But I look on Harry like a brother, man. I have a lot of pride for what he’s doing.”

Tomlinson has had other issues to focus on. In 2016, his mother Johannah Deakin, a midwife, died from leukaemia, aged 43. His parents separated when he was a child, and Tomlinson is estranged from his father, a hotel manager. He has seven younger half-siblings, one of whom, Félicité Tomlinson, died of an accidental drug overdose in 2019.

“I’m coping good, man,” he says. “I’m a glass half-full person because what’s the alternative? I’m not saying that there have not been some dark days, because there have. But I had a really lovely upbringing, and my mum was as good as gold.

“Even though she’s not here anymore, I wouldn’t want her to feel guilty for what happened. She wouldn’t want that to define my life and my happiness.”

He also feels a sense of responsibility to his family. “I’m the oldest of all my siblings, and I knew that I had to put on a brave face.” Nonetheless, Tomlinson, who is also father to a five-year-old son, whom he shares with his ex-girlfriend, confesses wariness when it comes to talking about it. “It carries its own weight emotionally and I’m wanting to escape that because I don’t want people f-----g feeling sorry for me.”

He addressed grief on 2019 single Two of Us, but has consciously sought out more upbeat subject matter for Faith in the Future, on songs including The Greatest, Lucky Again, Out of My System and mercurial indie rocker Silver Tongues.

“I have become a bit of a soundboard for people’s grief, so I’m kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. Because if I can help other people just from a little conversation about my own individual experience, that’s great, I really want to be there to help. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a burden.”

Tomlinson has been thoroughly enjoying being back on the road. “Performing live was always my favourite thing. I’ve had to build it back up, because I’ve never toured on my own, I had to relearn my craft and what the show needed. So it’s not as if I went into small theatres and thought, I used to play Wembley stadium, I’ve f---ing failed! I was having too much fun.”

He jokes about not even noticing if there has been any change in the level of luxury as he has shifted from one of the biggest bands in the world to a solo artist determined to prove himself.

“Hotel rooms can be kind of lonely when you’re moving all the time, so it doesn’t matter how luxurious it is. I sleep on the tourbus, cause that’s where my band are, so its really social. It’s a f---ing lovely tourbus!” Next year he will be back onboard, touring Britain’s arenas. “It’s all going the right way, and I’m thankful to be here, doing what I love. It doesn’t feel as manic as it did in One Direction, but I still get recognised everywhere I go, so not much has changed.”

Like many stars, he’s conflicted about fame. “It’s something I have struggled to deal with over the years. If I go to the pub with me mates and we’re having a drink and being social, it doesn’t matter if just one person stops and is like, ‘Oh it’s Louis, can we have a picture?’ It takes me outside of that normality. Just one photo can kind of bug me for the next half hour. But I’m still ambitious, and if that means raising the temperature (of fame) again, it’s a little bit daunting, but that’s the life.”

There have been some exceedingly odd aspects to being a boyband superstar. A strand of online fan fiction imagined a passionate affair between Tomlinson and Styles, which was subsequently depicted in a graphic, animated sequence on hit HBO series Euphoria. Another piece of 1D fanfiction is being adapted for forthcoming movie The Idea of You, starring Anne Hathaway as an older woman having an affair with a boyband star.

“It’s weird, all that s---,” tuts Tomlinson, disapprovingly. “But there’s not much you can do about it. I’d rather they didn’t, like, but it is what it is. I won’t be watching it.”

Tomlinson is excited about his new music, raving “I can imagine some of these songs being on albums by bands I would have listened to as a kid. It took me a second to find my feet after One Direction, and realise I need to be brave enough to embrace what I love.”

He says he thinks about success differently now. “Its all about musical fulfilment. When you’re one of four or five, it's hard to express yourself as an individual. This music is who I am.”

He still expects One Direction to eventually reunite. “When you look at it on paper, it’s like, ‘How the f---’s it all gonna fit back together?’ We’re all making very different music, doing our own thing, all busy all the time. So I don’t see anything happening for at least another 10 years, but you never know. It looks pretty jumbled. But I think there is a world where it all kind of fits together.”

Full article

#louis press #telegraph #neil mccormick #9 november 2022 #sorry just catching up

9 notes · View notes

28whitepeonies · 1 year

Text

Louis Tomlinson on his new album, struggling with fame and a One Direction reunion

The boyband star on his love of rock music, finding his own voice outside of One Direction, losing close family and fame's strangest moments. (By Neil McCormick @ The Telegraph)

He'd kidding, but the former One Direction boyband star certainly does like a cigarette, getting through half a dozen during an hour-long encounter in a hotel boardroom that reeks of stale tobacco. “Maybe I drink too much for a singer. Maybe I smoke too much for a singer. But it can be quite demanding, this life. So, for me to have those little vices, it’s important.”

A reluctant solo artist: Louis Tomlinson (centre) was upset with One Direction's decision to separate in 2016

Tomlinson was the oldest member (two years Styles’s senior) with the shakiest voice but adored by fans for his genuine smile, wacky fashions and undisguised pleasure at being part of the gang. Styles had a cheeky swagger, Malik was the sensuous R&B singer, Horan the folkie-next-door, whilst Payne was a cocky Jack the lad (whose solo career has been a bit of a washout). As time went by, Tomlinson shed insecurities to get more involved in songwriting, helping push 1D’s pop rock side.

Faith in the Future (out on Friday) dials up the guitars, building on his chart-topping 2020 solo debut album Walls, inspired by Britpop and indie, the music of his pre-fame youth. “I used to spend all my Friday nights in this place called Priory, it was fucking unbelievable: £10 all you can drink! That’s been banned now. It was in that bar where I fell in love with guitar music.”

He admits that he has felt competitive with his former bandmates and been jealous of Styles’s enormous solo success.

Louis Tomlinson with his mother Johannah Deakin who died of leukaemia in 2016

“Even though she’s not here anymore, I wouldn’t want her to feel guilty for what happened. She wouldn’t want that to define my life and my happiness.”

He jokes about not even noticing if there has been any change in the level of luxury as he has shifted from one of the biggest bands in the world to a solo artist determined to prove himself.

“Hotel rooms can be kind of lonely when you’re moving all the time, so it doesn’t matter how luxurious it is. I sleep on the tourbus, cause that’s where my band are, so its really social. It’s a fucking lovely tourbus!” Next year he will be back onboard, touring Britain’s arenas. “It’s all going the right way, and I’m thankful to be here, doing what I love. It doesn’t feel as manic as it did in One Direction, but I still get recognised everywhere I go, so not much has changed.”

“It’s weird, all that shit,” tuts Tomlinson, disapprovingly. “But there’s not much you can do about it. I’d rather they didn’t, like, but it is what it is. I won’t be watching it.”

He says he thinks about success differently now. “Its all about musical fulfilment. When you’re one of four or five, it's hard to express yourself as an individual. This music is who I am.”

He still expects One Direction to eventually reunite. “When you look at it on paper, it’s like, ‘How the fuck’s it all gonna fit back together?’ We’re all making very different music, doing our own thing, all busy all the time. So I don’t see anything happening for at least another 10 years, but you never know. It looks pretty jumbled. But I think there is a world where it all kind of fits together.”

#here it is #the full article #for obvious reasons I’m not providing a link #no edits obv #well that’s not true #I have now edited the swear words back in #because the censoring was driving me demented #Louis Tomlinson #I’m posting this mainly because it’s from #the telegraph #and I’d like to do as much as possible to stop people posting that paper #it’s quite long #faith in the future #09 November 2022 #Neil McCormick

10 notes · View notes

rinisbowen · 2 years

Note

so much has come out in the past 24 hours. i need your thoughts!!!

no because anon SO MUCH has come out in the past 24 hours literally... in the last few days too lowkey but especially just- today in general oh my goodness. tumblr's harder bc i feel like i need to be coherent to post here instead of just a dumb sentence like i'd put on twitter... but oh gosh i have so many thoughts... if anyone wants me to talk about something specific though feel free to ask about it specifically

y'all probably already saw my post about nini- she's definitely coming to see frozen in 308, and she's with either val or miss jenn (probably miss jenn just due to y'know- the context of her other scene being with miss jenn, but i mean the hair is similar so i can't say 100%.)

something i noticed with val in the featurette today- she's the one casting the musical, we see her in that one where she looks up kinda like- stay away... she's taking notes but she's also got all those audition sheets in front of her (recognizable due to the polaroids maddox takes of the campers for auditions, and the sheet we see of ricky's on val's clipboard when he's auditioning). we see ej sort of running auditions... so maybe he steps back a bit when he realizes he can't be impartial. or maybe he gets scared bc the pressure and she takes over for that part. i think regardless- this is a good call to have her be the one to pick the roles. it removes the nepotism question.

ej and gina are potentially singing a duet... quite awkwardly as it appears, but they are singing one all the same. i'm on the 'love is an open door' team- bc my money is on jet being the camper that goes missing, and if jet is cast as hans due to his incredible voice, well- maybe ej fills in for him. this duet looking moment goes on in the episode that a camper goes missing so... it would make a lot of sense.

ricky's SONG !!! i love it. you can absolutely tell josh wrote it and it's so good. i'm so excited it's in the first episode because oh my goodness it's so good and i'm glad we don't have to wait much longer. curious to see if maybe josh sings it on the mtv thing he's going on tomorrow. not trying to get my hopes up but... could be cool.

ricky and gina's little moment in that commercial break trailer that played during live with kelly and ryan... well that was a moment for sure when i saw that version of the trailer come on... the hat is giving costume, likely for kristoff, and it's quite likely that they're rehearsing for one of the broadway frozen numbers... given we've had confirmed by josh that there will be at least one they do this season. val is also lurking in the corner it looks like- i'd anticipate this is maybe from 305 aka the campers of shallow lake (hard to say it'd be any of the later ones, but we know pretty certainly it's not 301-304 due to clothing, and tbh especially with val being back there in the corner.. i think it will be. whether this is a staged moment or a resulting consequence of one... that perhaps looks and feels more real than it was meant to... should be interesting.

ummmm... i'm blanking on what else i wanted to bring up. but yeah lots of new stuff. lmk if you've got anything you want to see me discuss

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts season 3 #answered #anonymous

4 notes · View notes

kai-wanted-doa · 6 months

Text

Me typing too much cos im alone now

I played maplestory in like the 6th grade up until idk freshmen year and during that time I made a friend and we'd allllways play together we had a lil group of friends that we'd often play with. he and i eventually added each other on MySpace, but as we got older we all got busier and played less and my laptop at some point could NOT run maple without having a total hot dramatic breakdown (she's so like me). But throughout the years this friend and I would every once in a loooong ass while log back into MySpace (I'm surprised I even remember my email/password. Everytime I log in I'm like -welp this'll be the last time I recall this information- I don't even have access to that email anymore)

I can't remember when I did, but some years after we had lost contact I randomly logged into maplestory and sent him a message saying something like -hey was feeling nostalgic and logged back into MySpace. Don't know if you'll ever see this, but just wanted to say i used to have so much fun playing maple with everyone and i hope you're doing well.- this was really a shot in the dark bcos yall, MYSPACE IS DEAD each time I log back in it gets PROGRESSIVELY WORSE AND WORSE. I have no access to my photos no more I can't see my page nobody's images work its laggy as hell, but hey, our songs are still on there 😆 I always liked visiting his page becos the song on there hasn't changed in yeeeeeeeeeears. It reminds me of the good past. He and I played the dance Audition game for a bit after maplestory and his favorite song was Stay in Me

youtube

After sending that message, I waited about 1-3(?) Years before logging back in and to my surprise, he had been on MySpace in that time frame and responded. I can't remember the timeline it mightve been during that exchange or a few exchanges later (which each message we send/respond to takes 1-3 years bcos we're both rarely checking this thing but nonetheless we always come back LMAO) he eventually gave me his number so I could text him instead of using MySpace and I did but I didn't have data (no true need since i didnt go out often or have friends that id constantly call/text) so I used a number i received via a text app, but that text app was super fucked, we exchanged a few texts but it was on my end that we lost that connection. While we texted, he was like -hey remember ___ this girl we used to play with? Turns out I know her irl!!! We went to the same school together!! Found out years later. Small world- hahahaha crazy. I love hearing these stories about ppl meeting their maplefriends. My ex said he used to play too and saw a character with the same area code as us. My ex confirmed the city and they asked each other how old/what school. The next day in high school, he's dapping up his good friend and they're over the moon finding out they found each other on maple. All cos the friend used his graffiti tag name x area code number, and my ex was able to ID him hahaha

Anyway, i hadn't logged onto MySpace in awhile cos I was in college, got my degree, started my career, and got a boyfriend I was madly distracted by

May(?) 2022 i caught covid and quarantined. Bored out of my mind I log back into MySpace and sent him a message saying -hey! I caught covid! Quarantine led me here. Hope you're doing well.-

My parents left for Laos this week and I needed to add them on Facebook to communicate just in case. Logging into Facebook reminded me of logging into MySpace. Another year and I still remember it whew 😮‍💨

My maple friend responded again!!! In May 2023. Almost exactly a year after I sent the message in May 2022. MySpace is so dumb u can see the month and date of the message but not the year, so I literally had to inspect the coding on the page to find out when this message was sent. He gave me his number again and said lets connect or play games. I finally saved it in my phone. He mentions that at this point, we are really like penpal friends LOLLL OTL I laugh cos I'm dragging him through this painful way of communicating

I'm pretty messed up in my life right now. I'm pretty much trying to let go of the career path my parents put me on, I just got out of a breakup. I haven't responded to my friend yet. I want to clear my head a lil more and get it out of my system to avoid trauma dumping lmaooooo he don't need to hear alla that!!!!

I own up to the fact I don't have close friends cos I'm poor at keeping close connections. I literally have a friend in my IG dm reaching out to see if I'm ok cos I left the friend group chat that included my ex. I just got major trust issues maaaan lmfaooooo what can I say!!!! My ex best friend flirted with my ex. My ex went and had sex with her. I asked him repeatedly if it happened. He kept saying no. Fucking gaslit me. I finally really interrogated him about it last weekend. He finally broke and told me the truth.

So yeah hahah I'm pretty fucked up

0 notes

hoodievixen · 8 months

Text

So my grandmother is toxic af. I've told my mom (her mother) this time and time again, but refuses to do anything about it. Mainly this is a big dump of how crazy this old lady is.

Now I didn't really pay attention to pretty much anyone or anything else until I was eighteen. This being due to me being a child, as well as shoty mental health. This is when I realized just how crazy most of my mom's siblings are. And by crazy I mean dumb, and of course it all comes front he source of it all, my grandmother.

We sorta ignored what we could, and avoided more. This was because my grandpa wasn't doing well. Most of my life he had been in and out of hospitals due to COPD he developed from smoking. We weren't sure when the last time you were going to see him was. I don't remember the occasion, but the last time I saw him was at my cousin's house. It was my siblings and parents playing card games with him. Sure I didn't play the game but I was there talking with him.

He passed away January 2020. He was ready to go. And should have taken grandma with him. Covid then shut everything down a few months later, and she was alone, which just added to the insanity.

I would love to skip to the whole Scamdrew incident, but first I would like to bring you to June of that year. In one week was both my grandparents anniversary, and father's day, both which would be tough for my grandmother who had recently lost her husband of over 50 years.

My mom found a cabin all with in a.ciuple hour drive forher siblings, and booked it for a week, being the master mind behind the whole vacation. Everyone was to be careful of Covid before coming, to be safe. Instead my mom's elder sister decided to fly down the Houston the week before to visit her daughter. (During a large spike of cases in said city) The aunt claimed to be safe she wouldn't come to the cabin though I'm pretty sure my mom told her how dumb she was. This aunt will become a huge problem later. Still all her kids are adults and could have come in their own, none did, not even for a day.

My family however was sure to be there. My brother's work was being audited so he needed to leave on Monday to deal with that, but he and his girlfriend were there Saturday and Sunday. My sister worked as a CNA and was required to work that weekend in the hospital, but she came out in Monday with plans to spend rest of the week there. Monday itself was my birthday. Not a huge milestone brithday or anything, but I would have enjoyed doing something with my friends. We also made plans for that day, baking cupbakes before going, and buy water balloons for a water balloon fight.

I don't know the details of exactly what happened, as I hate people and am an introvert, so I was taking a nap. I was awoken by my crying mother telling me to get my things because we were leaving.

"I feel like I don't belong in this family" my mom cried down to her family.

"You don't belong anywhere!" my grandmother, her own mother responded.

Obviously we left. I learned the fight had started because my mom spoke against what her siblings were saying, that they didn't get all the Black-Lives matter movements that had been happening resently. (My relatives are conservative, and some are even Trump supporters) They can't accept any other oppinion than their own, and one of my aunts can't take a single piece of criticism without crying and throwing a fit.

I told my mom to cut her out of her life then and there. I wrote what happened from my point of view, encouraging her to not try. Our family did so much for her, yet she was never greatful, showing obvious favoritism toward my mom's other siblings. I don't think my grandmother ever apologized, they talked about it, but she never apologized. Seeing how it's 2023, and I'm writting this more happened.

I don't exactly remeber when it started, but it's time for the Scamdrew incident. My grandma started online dating, though she was not ready for it. I don't think it had even been an entire year since grandpa passed away. Anyways she started talking to this guy Andrew. We let her do her thing. I didn't really know much about this until one night my parents were trying to find any information about this guy. I decided, to join in, finding it to be a fun thing to do. We could onky find an Indeed page for the guy, a sketchy Indeed page.

I just stayed out of this, having long since grown done with my grandmother, and not wanting to deal with her. But they had an intervention, telling he rjt might be a scam. Grandma said she was prepaired to move out to an entirely different state to be with him leaving behind her kids. She continued to keep this mentality as more evidence polled up to prove he was a scam. Even her bank told her it was a scam. It took her some of her kids to stop talking to her to give him an ultimatum that did not get fulfill to stop talking to the guy. Though I think she would if she wouldn't get scolded by her kids again.

Now my grandmother has always been religious. My grandfather had gone to school to become part of the clergy, obviously didn't happen. Still they went to curch every Sunday, celebrated the holy days, and prayed. I decided I was agnostic as a fresan in highschool, so sorta just ignore all her Christian stuff, she had plenty of other people to talk to about that stuff.

But she basically threw herself into religion. She claimed everything wa sin gods plan, and that even the scam guy was he soulmate from God. My mom pointed out my grandmother hadn't ever believed in predestination before, and called bs on it. Still she started pushing her religion down other people's throats. My uncle, her son, was going through a messy devorce at the time and told his now ex-wife that she needed to find God when picking up my cousin one time. For Christmas she gave Al of her children a holt water holder (?) and a crusifix. Grandchildren got a tacky nick-nack that basically boiled down to "Your grandma loves, and so dose God."

She likes to demand to go out with her grandkids for dinner or lunch at times. I usually am able to not go, but there are times I can't. My parents were on vacation at the time so I was home alone, and I worked weekends, so she knew I was available. I was prepaired for whatever was to come, just grin and bare it. She recommended I join a church to find friends, and that I'd find peace when I get closer to God. I just nodded and said nothing (I haven't gone to church since I was 7 and was a perfectly fine person without it) This also came after getting a letter in the mail saying she put me down as someone to pray for for her church's eadte prayer. Like she has some weird obsession with me, that I need help. I think it's from when my mental health was terrible in HS. But I'm better now, and one of her more well adjusted grandkids. I give it another two years before my cousin gets pregnant from her boyfriend.

More recently she told one of her neices that all she needed to do was find God. This neice has a drug addiction and tried committing suicide. My grandmother was claiming to get better she just needed to find God.

Back to her "love life", she met two guys in person. One was a guy who lived in the same building as her. The other went to the same church as her. There wa some weekend where she stayed over at one guys house, hated it and couldn't even stay the fill weekend. The next the other guy came to stay with her at her apertment, hated it. The next she was moving in with the first guy. Not to mention she never really like either of these guys yet brought them to famoly things. These guys have been to my house and I will never seen them again. When my uncle (recently decor e and in his own relationship drama) asked her about looking for more options, going to more places, she said "I am looking for more options" as she continues to bounce between the same two guys.

Recently, to keep her busy, they started up doing weekly family dinners. Due to driving distance and it being done on Tuesday, usually it is just my parents, uncle, and grandmother. If it's at my parents house, of course I'm there, cause I live there and like to eat dinner. Just in the last week she had met up with two of my aunts, the ones wrre still speaking two, and appeariently said they don't see her enough, claiming she gonna move to come live closer to my mom and uncle. Plz no

This was not even a month after she announced that she changed in her will that the medical power of attorney was changed from my eldest aunt (the one we don't speak to anymore) and my mom to my crybaby aunt and my other aunt as back up. She said it is because my mother is too emotional, which isnt exactly wrong, but also not right. However the aunt given this power can not make a decision for shit.

This came up because with in the last six months my grandmother lost both a sister and her mother. There's been a heafty a mount of drama from all that, mainly from my mom's relatives due to most of them needing the inheritency money. My mom and all her siblings are all well off, so we aren't much in the drama, just get to hear about it. Basically my grandmother is looking down on her nieces/nephews and siblings(?) about only crying about the money they'll get.

On one of the doomed lunches I had gone in with her she brought up how her sister's jewelery was now being decided up amongst first the siblings and then the nieces and nephews. There were documents emailed with pics of the jewelry and you wrre to let the executor of the will know what you'd like. She expressed her concern that if some arent claimed they wrre just going to be pawned off. Now she had already asked for the pieces she liked, so I offered the idea of reaching out to her nephew (the will executor) and say once everyone has gone through and gotten what they wanted that she'd like the rest.

Next I hear about this it had somehow turned into her wanting it all.

For her mother I am less aware of what all she got, however I knew she got some jewelry and walkers. All of which she sold for money, probably also her sister's jewelery. She was looking down on others for doing such, yet she goes and dose it herself.

Now this is sorta not picky, but there was family dinner just earlier this week, and she just can't let the spot light be taken off of her. Fist she reads letters from state government officials about my great grandma's death, due to the fact she worked in the governor's mansion for many years. Then needed to read out every detail about her mother's money though none of us would be getting anything, just her. She continued to go on about a vacation she wanted to take, which is all fine and well.

But this week my aunt (the only one I like) came over for dinner. Next week I start school were I'm going to get a technical degree in Baking. Everyone knows this, but not many of them know the details. I brought out my schedule just to go over classes, which seem like fun. One of these classes is cake decorating, obviously.

My grandmother than needed to proclaim she taken "that" class, and proceeded to go off on all the cakes she's made. One of which is that barbie doll cake dress kids make on tik tok. Which like if she was doing it to relate to me in someway of continue the conversation would have been fine but no she was returning it to herself.

I don't talk much, never really have. She came over to visit after I had surgery where the anesthetic was still wearing off which basically got rid of my anxiety and she claimed that it wad the most she had ever heard me talk. Yet I'm over here talking to one person about something I'm excited about, and she needs to take that away, to bring the attention back in herself.

I know she never had the chance to grow up, and learn how to be a person by herself. She graduated highschool, got married, and had a child. She as never her own person. But that shouldn't be my problem. I don't want to put up with this shit.

0 notes

00katrinka00 · 1 year

Text

Landcaster legacy Gen 7 Update #19

Dear Diary, Noah texted me this morning. He wanted to meet during lunch for a date on the roof of the school, how romantic is that!? I swear, we're going to get married someday, Mrs. Violet Brooks. I like the sound of that, I'll make the watcher give me Noah's last name. -Violet

"Hi!" Violet exclaimed excitedly as she made her way up onto the roof to meet Noah during lunch. "Hey," Noah grinned back at her. "I figured if you can't go anywhere other than school and work, then I'll bring the date to school." "That's so sweet."

"You know, Viola," Noah began to say. "It's Violet," she reminded him. "That's what I said," Noah quickly replied. "I feel like nobody quite understands me like you do. It's almost as if, we're soulmates." "You really think so!" exclaimed Violet. "Because I was thinking the same"

"Yeah," Noah flashed her a shy smile. "I just, can't stop thinking about you, Viola." "Violet," she said again. "That's literally what I'm saying, stop correcting me." "I love you," Violet blurted out. "Me too," Noah grinned. His plan was coming together nicely.

While Violet was having a lunch date with Noah, Lacy was awaiting casting results for the play. "I guess it's time to get started," Owen began. "Let's just jump right in and announce the lead. The role of Luna will go to Lacy Landcaster." Lacy held her hands up in excitement.

"What the hell" yelled a red headed girl from the audience "That's meant to be my part" Owen rolled his eyes "The part wasn't reserved for you, Lauren" Lacy just sat back and watched the drama unfold "I have gotten every lead in every single school production; the part was MINE"

"There are seniority rules here Owen" Lauren snapped "I get that you're a freshman, but you pick the Seniors, like myself, for the lead roles first, that's just how it goes" "That's not how that goes at all" Owen brushed her off "You play Aurora though, and Lacy's understudy"

Lauren stormed up the steps and onto the stage. "Did your sister put you up to this?" she demanded "Jo didn't put me up to anything," Owen told her "I bet she did, she's still probably mad I messed around with her boyfriend after she dropped out of High School like a dumb loser!"

"My sister is not dumb!" Owen snapped back. "So, I'd refrain from talking crap about her if I were you. As for the reason you didn't get the lead, it's because Lacy's audition was better than yours." "I'm telling the director!" "Go right ahead, she's the one that chose Lacy"

Eventually all the fighting between Owen and Lauren made the director come and assess the commotion. Owen was sent out into the hallway, and Lacy decided to follow. She already knew her role anyways. "Lauren seems like a bitch," Lacy observed. Owen gave her a smirk in agreement.

"Lauren mentioned your sister dropped out of High school?" Lacy asked. "Yeah, our Mom left, so Jo had to take care of all of us. She'd be a senior this year if she hadn't dropped out." "Where's your dad?" "He died, something about killer rabbits and neighborhood stories."

"Shit, I'm sorry," said Lacy. "Jo's a good guardian though," Owen told her. "She's doing everything to make sure the rest of us stay in school. That's why I want to go to college, so I can get a good job and support all my siblings so Jo can go back to school herself."

"That's the only reason I'm even acting as stage manager for play," Owen continued. "I need the extra curriculars to round out my college applications in a few years." "Well," Lacy smirked. "I might be a little biased, but I think you chose the best candidate to play the lead."

After school Nat headed to the roof to sit with her friends after skipping the last few days to avoid Noah "So why are you hanging around with what's her name, Viola?" Marcus asked "To piss Leo off" boasted Noah "I'll get her to mess around with me and then drop her like nothing"

Nat was horrified, how could he? Violet was like a little sister to her "Don't forget you have a real girlfriend right here" Isabelle pouted. "And she needs your love and attention to, when all this revenge bullshit is done" "Don't worry babe" Noah got up and gave Isabella a kiss

"Lacy, Lacy, Lacy!" exclaimed Violet upon her arrival home that day. "You will not believe what Noah Brooks said to me today, he said he loves me" "Really?" Lacy asked hesitantly "Yes, well not exactly, but it was implied, and oh we're going to get married on day." Violet swooned.

"I don't know if he's the best guy for you," Lacy told her. "It seems like he's playing you" "What evidence do you have for this?" Violet asked in defense. "None, but I've been with guys like him before, Isla's biological father for one, and guys like that are always playing you"

"That's just wrong," Violet added in quickly. "You don't know what you're talking about." Lacy sighed and just let the conversation go, one day Violet would learn to just listen to her.

Nat rushed straight to Leo's house after eavesdropping on her former friends as school. She found him playing videogames in the upstairs entertainment room, which was pretty typical for Leo. He put his controller down as soon as he noticed Nat walk in. "Nat, hey, what's up?"

"Violet's in trouble," Nat said as soon as she sat down on the sofa. "What kind of trouble?" Leo asked concerned. "Noah Brooks type of trouble," Nat admitted. "Leo, you were so right about him, he's an asshole. I should have listened to you."

"Well," Nat began and she explained to Noah everything she'd overheard him boast about. "That asshole," Leo exclaimed once Nat was done. "We have to warn Violet." "She won't listen," Leo told her. "If we tell her to stay away it'll only make her want to be with Noah more.

"We have to find a way to keep Noah away from Violet," Leo said just as a wave of sickness washed over Nat. She ran to the bathroom to throw up. "Nat?" Leo asked, he could hear her throwing up on the other side of the door. "Has Noah messed around with you?" "We might have."

Leo told Nat that she should take a pregnancy test, and although she was hesitant, he still fetched one from his parents' bathroom and handed it to her. Nat didn't know what to think as she waited for the results, there was no way she was pregnant, at 16, they'd used protection.

Nat was horrified by the results. She didn't want to be a teen Mom, no way. What would her mother's say when she told them? Would Leo think of her differently? And Noah, that's asshole, if she had the baby, she'd be tied to him for forever, did Nat really want that?

Nat came out of the bathroom and immediately told Leo the news. "What do you think I should do?" she asked desperately. "I can't answer that," Leo told her. "Only you can decide what's best for yourself. What I can say is that I'll be here, to support you as a friend"

"Thanks Leo," Nat pulled him in for a hug. "What should we do about the whole Noah thing?" "For now," Leo said. "Let me walk you home, I think you need some rest. As for the Noah thing, just leave that to me."

#TheSims4 #TheSims4Gameplay #TheSims4Community #TheSims #TheSimsGameplay #TheSimsCommunity

0 notes