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akselbenny · 8 months

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two gay men do the twist

Here are the first 5,000 words of a novel of 180,000 words about two young men, Benny van der Heiden Hulst, Dutch-American and Aksel Haugen, American. Set in Paris, Amsterdam and Frankfurt in 1959-1960, Benny and Aksel struggle with their homosexuality and society’s attitudes at that time. It is a :love story of two men and the aftermath when one dies.

BENNY AND AKSELd

A LOVE STORY

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JUNE 1959

SS UNITED STATES

I met Benny van der Heiden-Hulst in the departure hall for the SS United States. I had my Cabin Class ticket and stood in a chaotic line for an hour for a cabin assignment; Finally,I was second.

Suddenly, I, and everyone else heard some yelling and like everyone else I looked for the person yelling. He was easy to identify because he was waving his arms as he yelled. He looked to be in his mid-20s as I was at the time. He waved his arms and kept yelling as he ran in our direction, ”Bruner, bruder, brother” and other words I didn’t understand. I learned later all the words yelled were brother in different languages, French, Spanish and who knows what else.

He kept running in our direction, waving his arms and yelling brother, bruder. Suddenly he was directly in front of me. He threw his arms around me, kissed me on my cheek with a loud smack and whispered in my ear, ” Ich bin Benny .” Then he exclaimed loud enough for everyone around us to hear him, “oh, mein bruder,” several times.

I could have done things differently, pushed him away, turned away, told him he made a mistake, but I returned the embrace, kissed him on his cheek and whispered in his ear, “I am Aksel. “

“I am so happy to find you my dear Alex, my brother,” and he whispered, “I thought you were German.”

“Aksel,” I whispered back.

Close behind Benny was a man in a uniform with a clipboard, who said with a bit of a smirk on his face, “You are no longer interested in First Class Benny? So this is the man you say is your brother?”

“Half-brother. Don’t we look alike? Now, I want to be in cabin class with my brother, Aksel. Aksel, this is the Purser. He runs the ship, a good person to know. We know each other from previous crossings, don’t we?”

“Yes, Benny, I think this is the fourth. The first was with your grandfather, Hendrick Janson who insisted I call him Hendrick.”

“We want a cabin for two. We have a lot to talk about.” Benny said to the Purser.

“Well, you two do look alike, I think, and in honor of your grandfather I will arrange it” the Purser said.

I kept quiet. I didn’t know who this man named Benny was or what he was up to, but I was certain it was going to be an interesting adventure I would always remember. And I have.

It was true, we did look alike: same height, almost five feet, eight inches, Benny always said he was taller, same slightly muscular body, same age, I thought, and, as we discovered, same weight. Benny had brown eyes, I had blue. But his eyes had a wild, almost flirty look, always looking around for someone to charm.

Generally, I tried to keep my face expressionless. We both had unruly blandish hair. His hair had a curl and a darker uneven blond with some of the curls hanging down on his forehead; my hair was straight, but still unruly and darker blonde.

I was dressed conservatively, button down shirt, sweater and chinos. I carried my blazer. Benny wore basically the same, except he added an oversized shirt, extra large, with sleeves rolled up a couple times. As I learned later, he favored bright colors, pink, red, green, but all bright and intense. He also liked big linen gingham shirts in bright colors. Any bit of wind made the extra large shirts blossom out. He couldn’t be missed if he was walking by.

There was a difference in our bodies. My body was evenly developed. Ever since my time in the army, I had kept an exercise regimen, jumping jacks, push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, squats, and some running. I certainly wasn’t bulgin with muscles, but my chest, abdomen and shoulders were evenly defined.

On the other hand, Benny’s body lacked upper torso development, but his legs and buttocks, as I was to discover, were well developed.

We smiled at each other as if we shared secrets, which we did.

The man in the uniform was the Puser and he said, “Thank you Benny for giving up a chance at a first class cabin, that was generous of you. We have someone else waiting for a first class cabin. Cabin stewards were standing nearby waiting for instructions.The Purser added, “The two of you are in a three bed cabin. There is a third man assigned to the cabin, but he will be moved to another, larger cabin so it will be only you two. Go to your cabin now. The steward will help you.” Benny shook hands with the Purser and, as I leaned later, passed him a big tip.

They were both so experienced at giving and receiving tips that I saw nothing pass between them.

We went to our cabin with the steward and our luggage. Benny talked all the way. He smiled at me and assured me everything would be wonderful, his very words. He also talked to the steward, got his name, (Rafael), where he was from (Puerto Rico ), if he liked his job (he did) and more. When we got to our cabin, the steward shook hands, turned and left, either to escape from Benny or because he knew the fracas that was coming. I am certain Benny passed him a tip with the handshake.

Standing in the middle of the cabin was a heavy, rather threatening looking man with dark oily hair and eyes that were half closed and much too close. At least I thought he was threatening, but that didn’t stop Benny.

“Well hello there,” Benny said in a cheerful voice. “I am Benny and this is my brother Aksel.”

The man did not respond right away but gave us a cursory look. He kept on unpacking, throwing clothes on the single bed.

Finally, he stopped and looked first at me and then at Benny.

“I am taking the single bed, you two can take the bunk beds. My name is Anton Drechsel. By the way, I want you two out of here every afternoon between three and six. I will have some young ladies in the room every day at that time.” He had a heavy German accent.

“Well, Mister Dreck,” Benny said, but stopped as Anton Drechsel took a step toward him.

Drechsel looked us over and said, “you two look like queers, not brothers.”

I moved between Benny and Drechsel and said, “Benny be quiet, Mr. Dreck, I don’t think there will be any women of any age in this room unless we invite them and thank you for the assessment about us. What a thing to say on a first meeting. Perhaps you’re right. What we think of you will remain unspoken, Mr. Dreck.”

Dreck backed up a bit and I took a step closer to him.

“Stop calling me that. I am Drechsel.”

At that moment, the Steward came back and said, “Who is Dreck,” and looked at the card in his hand and added “Anton Drechsel.”

No one answered.

“I guess I have the wrong room,” he said as he turned to leave.

“You fool. I am Anton Drechsel. What do you want?”

“Mr. Drechsel you are being moved to a larger room with two bunk beds.”

“I am not moving. They can move.” He motioned in our direction.

Benny laughed and said, “ Well my brother, it looks like we will have this room to ourselves.”

I wasn't sure what was happening, but Benny put his arm around my shoulder and laughed.

There was another tap on the door and the Purser arrived.

“Mr. Drechsel I hope you have been told the good news. You will be moving to a larger cabin and Mr. Haugen and Mr van der Heiden Hulst will stay here.

“I am staying here.

“No, you are not. You are moving.”

“No, I am not.”

“Mr. Drechsel l do not have time for this. We are about to depart. You are moving right now. Steward, put Mr Drechsel's luggage in the hallway when it’s ready and if you need help get two more stewards or guards to assist you. “

“Mr Drechsel pack your belongings now or you will be removed from the ship. You have ten minutes.”

Drechsel began picking up clothes and throwing them at his suitcases on the floor. He was soon grumbling out of the room. He slammed the door as he left.

After he left, Benny hugged me and bent down and kissed my hand which gave me a shock.

“Benny, why did you call him Dreck?”

He laughed and said, “It means dirt in German. He is actually Austrian. I could tell from his accent. l didn’t like him.”

“Didn’t he scare you?”

“Sort of, but he was just a braggart. I hoped he wouldn’t do anything. Why did you stand between Drechsel and me?”

“I guess I didn’t want you to do anything or get hurt. I had to protect my half brother.”

Benny stopped and looked at me and smiled. “Thank you, Aksel. You are my brother. So Aksel, what bed do you want?”

“You decide. You did all this.”

“Yes I guess I did. The big tip to the Purser helped. Money does wonders. Besides, I know him from the previous crossings. He admires my grandfather.”

“Okay, you take the single bed Aksel and I’ll take the lower bunk and we’ll use the upper for storage.” We did some unpacking. I thought I felt the ship move a bit. I looked at Benny and he nodded his head.

“Let’s go Aksel, the ship is moving. We have a lot to talk about when we are back in the cabin. I love that we will be together for the crossing.”

We got on deck fast because Benny knew the way.

On shore people were waving and shouting and Benny started doing the same, as did I. Abruptly, then slowly, majestically, the ship started sliding away from the dock.

The noises got louder, especially from Benny who was laughing, shouting, pointing at people on shore and waving. There were loud horns blaring from the ships, bells ringing, it was a beautiful scene. “I love this,” Benny said. “ Life goes on for all those people we left and now for us, for us. Life goes on, you better grab it Aksel.”

“Do you know someone down there?”

“No, I said my goodbyes in Boston. I just act like I know someone.”

He put his arm around my waist. I waved my left arm and Benny waved with his right arm as if we were one person. He laughed and yelled the entire time.

Suddenly he stopped and said, “Now we have to go to the dinings room and get our table assignment for breakfast, lunch and dinner and for the rest of the crossing. I like to eat early with the first serving. Is that okay with you?” One of the few mistakes he made in English was that he always said “dinings” room. I never corrected him. I liked it.

“Benny, I’ll agree to anything you say. You have been a wonder for me already. I am lucky.”

“It wasn’t luck, Aksel. I chose you. I had to choose you after waiting for two hours hoping someone like you would show up. And you did and here we are. You are more than I hoped for. You are a dream that came true.”

“I was trying to get the Purser to move me to first class and then I saw you and I knew you would be better than any first class.“

“I gave the Purser a tip, then put on the brother act . I was afraid you wouldn’t respond correctly, but you kissed me on the cheek and said your name. But what is your family name?”

“I am Aksel Haugen but didn’t you call me brother in German, bruder,” I said as we entered the dining room. “I took one year of German in college.’

“Yes, I thought you were German. I am glad you are American since I am American and Dutch.”

We wandered around the dining room. Benny stopped at a table.

“We’ll take this one. I’ve sat at it before with my cousin, Jan , on another crossing. Only six people and near an entrance and more important, an exit. We can leave when we want.”

“How many times have you crossed?”

“This is my eighth or so on this line and my last. I am not going to get a full college degree. I finished junior college in Boston and that’s enough for me. I am fluent in Nederlands, English and French, some German, Portuguese and a little Spanish. That’s enough. My grandfather, Hendrick, wanted me to learn languages for the family business.”

I learned later Benny had over twenty crossings.

He told a steward what table we wanted then asked who worked the table. He also got the steward’s name, Carlos.

“I do sir.”

“That’s great, Carlos . Call me Benny, this is my brother, Aksel. I was hoping you would be at this table. I know we will get good service.” Benny shook hands with the steward and pressed some bills in his hand. I didn’t see the bills, but I am certain they were there.

The steward glanced down at his hand and said, “You will get great service Sir.”

“Who else will be at the table? I want them to get good service too?” The steward said it was a mother and two daughters.

Later, I tried to pay Benny but he said it didn’t matter. It would all work out. He told me it is better to tip everyone at the beginning of a crossing and to tip big.

On the way out Benny grabbed a couple bananas and four apples and stuck them in the leather messenger bag he had strapped over his shoulder.

“It’s my big purse, very handy.” He was right. I got one in Paris. I still have it after all these years and I still use it.

We had to go back to the deck for the muster lifeboat drill. We were assigned a lifeboat. We put on life jackets and listened carefully to the instructions. Benny was serious about the drill and he checked my jacket and watched me as I checked his. It took about half an hour.

When we were finished, Benny said, “Aksel, look at that boy over there, the one with the reddish hair. He doesn’t seem to belong to any lifeboat and he keeps looking around. Look, he seems as if he is trying to hide.”

I saw the boy but didn’t think anything about it.

After, we went back to the cabin and did more unpacking and arranging. Benny was talking nonstop. It was a mixture of the things he loved, his favorite opera, Tosc, favorite broadway musical, Call Me Madam, the world's best cheese comes from the Netherlands, the best oysters come from France.

I mentioned I had never had an oyster. He told me we would have oysters from Carcassonne, the best oysters in the world. Always order fin de Claire, number 2. Always. Number 1 is too big and sometimes mushy. Number three is barely a bite and not much liquid. Find Claire number 2 are perfect.

Finally he stopped. Benny looked at my T-shirt and jockey underwear.

“Aksel, I’ve never worn jockey underwear even though I lived in the States. Could I wear your pair tonight? I think you have jockeys on. Sometimes I could see the outline. Your pants are tight enough for me to notice, besides I was looking. I wear boxer underwear. Why don’t you wear my shorts? Maybe we’ll both like different underwear. I bet you look great in jockeys. Maybe I will too. My cousin Jan says I have a good Dutch ass. You can tell me what you think when we are changing clothes. Now I made you blush.”

I could feel a blush go through my whole body. I had hoped Benny didn’t notice.

Benny said, “I saw you had a lot of cash in that billfold in your suitcase. We will have to give it to the Purser for safekeeping. I don’t trust Dreck. And you can change the money into travers checks when we get to Paris.”

“I didn’t know I was going to Paris, I thought I was going to Germany, Bonn actually”

“You are going to Paris, aren’t you? Most of the people on the ship take the train to Paris unless someone meets them. I thought you would be going. We will go together. Besides, you have to go to Paris to get to Bonn. Everything goes through Paris. We can spend a few days in Paris before you go to Bonn and I have to go to Amsterdam, or better yet, you can come to Amsterdam with me.”

I nodded and kept arranging.

“Aksel, do you have a swimsuit?”,,

I held up a blue patterned boxer style swimsuit.

“Aksel, you can’t wear that at the Piscine Deligny. People would laugh. Here, put on this pair of Speedos. I have an extra pair. You can have them. I want to see how you look in them.”

“So we are going there too. What is it?”

“A swimming pool in the Seine but not the Seine water. Water from theSeine is bad. This is a swimming pool set into the Seine. Only the French would do something like that.”

I hesitated and said, “You mean I should change right now? Are they clean?”

“Of course, don’t be so shy. Besides, I like to see you blush. You just blushed but I didn’t mention it.”

I did as he said and looked directly at him which steadied my nervousness.

“Aksel, blue is definitely your color. I’m going to wear red. Speedos show what you’ve got. I like that. Oh now you’re blushing again.”

He was right and I looked down at the floor.

“Aksel, that’s one of the things I already like about you . You are so innocent and that makes you shy. I saw how brave you are when you wanted to protect me. How old are you? Eighteen, sixteen? I am nineteen and soon twenty in August. You look sixteen or seventeen, but you must be at least eighteen to be traveling alone for the first time, crossing the Atlantic.”

“Benny, I am 26 in September and I am shy and quiet. I shouldn’t be at my age, but I am. Sometimes I wish I could be like you are. You are a new experience and I am embarrassed by the difference.”

“Tell me more about yourself, Aksel.”

“I’ll make it short. I taught high school for two years, was drafted and served in the United States Army for two years. In teaching and the army I had to act as reserved as possible. I'm now on the way to Europe with my friend, my brother, Benny van der Heiden-Hulst. “

“Oh, yes, I forgot, I am going to Germany to write some stories for the Chicago Daily News. For that reason I have to travel to Bonn and Munich to fulfill the terms of my contract. That’s why I lug around my Swiss Hermes portable typewriter. I may be innocent and inexperienced in many ways, but I kno I am lucky to have met Benny.”

We still had our bathing suits on but suddenly and surprisingly, Benny turned and hugged me and laughed .

“That was great, Aksel. It explains so much. I'll tell you about myself after dinner. Now we have to dance.”

We still had our Speedos on.

“We will be dancing in our Speedos at the Piscine Deligny and doing a new dance.”

I looked at Benny and smiled.

“Why are you smiling?”

“I am happy. I am here with Benny, my new half brother, and I am going to learn a new dance. I love to waltz, I even took lessons, but I don’t think this will be a waltz. What is it?”

“First, we’ll keep our Speedos on when we dance. I know I’ll like to see you dance in your speedos.”

“Benny let me know how much the Speedos cost, I’ll pay you for them.”

“They are a gift. Now we dance.”

I looked at Benny and waited.

“We’ll do The Twist. I have a small portable phonograph and I have the record, Hank Ballard and the Moonlighters singing The Twist. I’ll start dancing and you can join in if you want. This is a no touch dance.” Benny dug the portable record player and the record out of one of his suitcases. He had two large suitcases, one the size of my single suitcase..

He put on a record and started dancing to the music and the lyrics. Benny knew the lyrics by heart and inserted some of his words.

Come on baby let's do the twist

Take me by my little hand and go like this

Ee-oh twist baby baby twist

Oooh-yeah just like this

Come on little miss and do the twist

My daddy is sleepin' and mama ain't around

Yeah daddy is sleepin' and mama

. . And more like this. . .p

Benny danced to the music and I watched as he put one foot slightly forward and held his hands away from his body and started rotating his hips back and forth and side to side then dipping his body without moving his feet, then changed the position of his feet and put the opposite foot forward and kept moving his hips. Lots of motion and fast.

He sang in a loud voice, “c’mon Aksel, c’mon baby, let’s do the twist, no touching, just dance.”

I joined in and we finished dancing to the record. We did the twist two more times adding a dip now and then. It was electrifying for me.

Benny said, “we’ll drive them crazy Aksel. Did you like it?”

“It drove me crazy.”

“Good, now we get dressed for dinner. We will wear a suit tonight, our first night at sea. I saw your dark blue suit. Please wear that. It would make me happy. I want to wear your jockey shorts and you can wear my boxer shorts. We will exchange the ones we are wearing . It will make us feel closer. It will be our secret. Now you blush. We don’t have to do it.”

“No, I want to.”

We exchanged underwear and dressed. Benny wore a dark gray suit, a while shirt and a bright red tie. I wore my dark blue suit, a light blue shirt and a pink tie. Benny reached over and straightened my tie and brushed something off my shoulder. Then he looked me over.

“Oh Aksel, so daring. You look so full of Scandinavia. Your tie matches your blush.” He leaned over and kissed me lightly on the lips. I pulled back abruptly and immediately regretted it. So I leaned forward and kissed Benny firmly on the lips. We straightened ourselves and left the cabin.

All I could think about as we walked to dinner was Benny’s shorts on me and especially my jockey shorts on Benny. Wave after wave of blushing swept over me.

We could feel the rocking, dipping motion of the boat so we adjusted our gait.

Benny stopped. “I know what you’re thinking about, our underwear. You are so sweet when you blush. Do you like wearing my underwear? I love wearing yours.”

“Benny, l love the feeling but I can’t help that I am blushing and I am getting stiff.”

The Purser was at the door to the dining room and said to us, “You two look happy, but there might be some excitement tonight. I believe we have a stowaway on board.”

Benny said to the Purser, “I think I saw him at the muster drill. He is shorter than I am and has red hair. He looked like he was trying not to be noticed.”

“Thank you Benny, your description will help. We found a backpack stuffed into one of the lifeboats when we were inspecting the ship after departure. You are observant even when you are with your brother.”

Benny just smiled and I blushed.

I was too excited to think about the meal. I kept thinking about my jockey shorts around Benny's body. I could feel the looseness of Benny’s boxer shorts. I was full and stiff and I wondered how I would be able to walk out of the dining room without creating a spectacle of myself. I tried to listen to Benny as he talked to the people at the table: two young girls, Margaret and Lois, in their teens. The girls giggled when Benny spoke to them and their mother, Elizabeth, who remained mostly quiet and studied us.

We told our names , where we were going, where we were from.

Benny said, “I have heard we have a stowaway on board, but don’t worry it won’t be a problem. I think I saw a suspicious young man this afternoon during the lifeboat muster. He kept looking around and was very jumpy. Remember Aksel?”

I nodded toward the opposite entrance and said ”That’s the young man. I think he is looking for someone or a table to sit at.”

The boy stood in the doorway and looked around. He saw our table. There was an empty seat.

Benny and I were seated on either side of an empty chair at the table. Lois was next to me, then Elizabeth, Margaret and Benny.

I told everyone to be calm because if he sat at our table, he would be between Benny and me.

I said, “Besides, he is only interested in a free trip to Europe. He's not on the ship to create a scene or hurt anybody. It will be an adventure if he does sit with us. Benny and I are here to protect you.”

One of the girls said, “Mom, I want to go back to our cabin.”

I said, “sit down now, and be quiet right now. I think we might have a visitor. He really is headed in our direction. The worst thing anyone could do is jump up, run and make a scene”

“Now try to act natural. Benny talk.”

I put my right hand on Lois’s shoulders and Elizabeth put her left arm on Lois’s shoulder and put her right hand on Margaret’s shoulder.

I smiled at Benny and nodded to Elizabeth and Margaret.

“Everything will be fine. We are a happy family, a mother and her four children. Benny, tell a joke soon or ask a riddle .”

“What is black and white and read all over?”

Before anyone could answer, the young man suddenly walked over and sat down at our table between Benny and me.

He said, “Can I sit with you here? I’m Irish and the people at my table are snooty English. I don’t like where I’m sitting.” At least I think that is what he said. He had a strong Irish brogue.

I looked at Benny as I put my left hand on the back of the young man’s chair. Benny did the same with his right hand.

I said to the girls, “do you know the answer to Benny’s riddle? Let’s think about it. Make a guess.”

Benny asked the boy, “Where’s your table? You’ll have to talk to the steward or the Purser if you want to change tables.”

The waiter placed plates of food in front of each of us, including the stowaway. It looked like the apprtizers.

The young man waved his arm indicating off to his right. He started talking to the girls who giggled nervously. The young man kept shoveling food into his mouth and looking longingly at our plates.

I said, “Would you like my plate, I’m really not hungry.”

He took my plate and finished it off. It was only an appetizer. Benny gave him his plate.

I said to the girls, “I bet you both thought of the answer. I don’t think it’s a real joke. Let’s ask Benny. See he has someone new to talk to so he ignores us.”

Benny kept talking to the young man who was eating as fast as he could and eyeing the girls’ plates.

I said, “My sisters are very shy. This is their first time on a ship. They still call it a boat. I should have told them the riddle about the difference between a ship and a boat.”

Benny said, “Now remember girls how to pronounce our cousin’s name just yawn and you’ll think of it. Even though his name is spelled with a j a n. you pronounce it yan or jawn.”

I turned to the mother, “I am impressed with my sisters. They don’t just jump up and leave, but wait until we are all finished.”

The mother nodded in agreement and put her hand tighter on Margaret's shoulder. I put my arm affectionately, but firmly around Lois's shoulder.

I said, “it’s great to be together as a family. Isn’t it Lois?”

She said, “I know the answer to the riddle. It’s a newspaper. Am I right?“

I said, “that was a great answer, Lois.”

She said it in a shaky voice but it seemed to calm her.

The Irish boy talked and ate slower and seemed to relax. He was hard to understand because he had a strong Irish brogue and his mouth was full of food. Benny kept looking at him and then at the girls but keeping the conversation going.

We saw the Purser enter by the door near us and then turn abruptly and opened the door revealing two hefty men in dark suits.

The boy saw the Purser and the two men. Suddenly, the Irish boy jumped up and ran for the door across the dining room. Benny stuck out his foot to try to trip him. I reached over and tried to push him down. One of the girls screamed. Other passengers stood up and there were screams at other tables.

The Purser and two stocky men grabbed the boy and

#Here are the first 5 #000 words of a novel of 180 #000 words about two young men #Benny van der Heiden Hulst #Dutch-American and Aksel Haugen #American. Set in Paris #Amsterdam and Frankfurt in 1959-1960 #Benny and Aksel struggle with their homosexuality and society’s attitudes at that time. It is a :love story of two men and the aftermath wh #BENNY AND AKSELd #A LOVE STORY #————————————————-#JUNE 1959 #SS UNITED STATES #I met Benny van der Heiden-Hulst in the departure hall for the SS United States. I had my Cabin Class ticket and stood in a chaotic line fo #I was second.#Suddenly #I #and everyone else heard some yelling and like everyone else I looked for the person yelling. He was easy to identify because he was waving #”Bruner #bruder #brother” and other words I didn’t understand. I learned later all the words yelled were brother in different languages #French #Spanish and who knows what else.#He kept running in our direction #waving his arms and yelling brother #bruder. Suddenly he was directly in front of me. He threw his arms around me #kissed me on my cheek with a loud smack and whispered in my ear #” Ich bin Benny .” Then he exclaimed loud enough for everyone around us to hear him #“oh #mein bruder

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