#I was actually thinking of making a full comic about the mad Hatter but I dont know if I have the willpower to do it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zoe-oneesama · 4 years

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Okay, semi-serious question! What would each member of Miss Bustier's class in the Scarlet!AU, including Lila, dress up as for Halloween?

Well I think my ideas would probably apply to canon. And obviously I know France doesn’t really do Halloween (at least not how America does), so we’re gonna just retcon reality and pretend Halloween is a common thing to these kids, so basically:

Marinette: A character costume. From a cartoon or movie or game, whatever it is she’s handmaking and handstyling all of it and is scouring the internet to make sure every detail is 100% canon accurate. Every year she tries to outdo herself by getting more and more intricate characters. Year 1 - Princess Peach Paper Mario version. Year 5 - Princess Peach Smash Bros verison.

Adrien: It’s the first year he gets to participate and it’s not some bougie adult wine drinking party, so he either goes for a visual pun (sticking a bunch of beige paint swatches to himself to be 50 Shades of Grey) or goes super basic royalty free costume, like A Vampire or A Devil. If he has a partner he’d totally go couples costumes, but who decides the costumes depends on the partner. (Marinette would totally bow to his whims but Kagami would reel him in)

Alya: She’s been in different store bought Majestia costumes since she was old enough to call the shots. Only this year is she going for Hometown Heroes, but she’s completely caught between who to choose - Ladybug because obviously, or Carapace because her boyfriend, or Rena Rouge because it’s hilarious?! So many options!!!

Nino: He’s never gotten super into it but keeps it alive for Chris. Typically he’ll pull together a “closet costume”, like pulling out the plaid button up and sticking some straw out of the pockets to be a scarecrow. Going to parties with Alya makes him want to try a little harder this year so he’ll probably actually buy a full costume this year to go with whatever she decides to be (”Wait, you’re gonna dress as me this year?!”)

Canon Chloe: She’s worn her Ladybug costume a few too many times in public, so she’ll probably go for Queen Bee but with a twist - like a full ballgown princess but Queen Bee themed. It’s super expensive decorated with real rhinestones, as are all the costumes she’s had in the past because she’s in a personal competition with Marinette. It kills her that Marinette always gets way more compliments on her costumes.

SL Chloe: Same as above but Scarlet Lady themed. She’s at least smart enough to forgo the mask and demands pockets to shove Tikki into.

Canon Sabrina: In order to match Chloe but not outshine her, Sabrina is ordered to be a bee (to be Queen Bee’s “Pollen”, though Sabrina doesn’t know what that means). She’s an adorabee and her outfit is also pretty expensive because it was commissioned by Chloe, but that also means Sabrina got zero input on it.

SL Sabrina: It’s the first time Sabrina hasn’t relied on Chloe to “make” her costume (or rather DECIDE her costume) and all the independence has Sabrina scrambling a bit. In the end, by borrowing some of her dad’s old things, she dresses as a Cutie Cop complete with a too big hat and handcuffs she has to SWEAR not to use.

Max: With some carefully painted cardboard and foam, he’s one of the bots from UMS III. Despite the crudeness of the costume, it is also meticulously model accurate, and also very difficult to move in.

Kim: 100% one of those inflatable T Rex costumes.

Alix: She’d probably wear her regular clothes but invest in a high quality wolf mask and hands and sneak up on people all night.

Nathaniel: He’d have to prepare months in advance but he’d show up as Super Nathan. He skips on the face paint but considering it’s his OC and he still draws it in his comic, I think he’s not emotionally tainted by being an akuma and it’s own little “Fuck You” to Hawkmoth. Plus it makes Chloe stay 10000 miles away from him.

Mylene: Mylene walks into a costume shop with no plan, wanting to be taken in by how a costume looks and feels on her. Because of that she has an eclectic background and no one ever knows what she’s going to come as. Last year she was a racoon because the costume dress had ears on the hoodie, but maybe this year she comes as a Mad Hatter because the costume came with a lot of pieces. Who knows?!

Ivan: He knows he’s going to avoid anything with a mask if he wants his girlfriend to come near him. That does knock off a lot of his favorite horror characters, so he goes an Adrien route and shows up as A Ninja. Yep. Definitely not a video game character, noooo, this is TOTALLY just A Ninja. Uhuh.

Rose: Unicorn Princess. With wings. And a tiara. And A wand. And a tail. And rainbow chalk in her hair. And stickers.

Juleka: She’s a witch, but not a store bought cute short skirt one. Like a voodoo hag that dragged herself out of the swamp to curse mankind. She’s basically one every year so she just adds onto her costume and every year her witch costume just increases in collectables. Vials around her waist and a fake crow on her hat, a spell book appeared one year, and spider webs draped over her shoulders. Uh, are you sure that’s just a costume Juleka?

Canon Lila: She doesn’t care much about the actual costume but takes a lot of care making sure it’s juuuuuust towing the line between cute and sexy. It needs to be attention getting but not bad attention. She goes for slightly childish characters, like Little Red Riding Hood, so she can get away with saying she thought it was “just adorable!” when she knows it’s showing her off. If I wanted her to be even cheekier, I’d have her find a “Sexy” Rena Rouge costume that’s pretty much Rena Rouge but in a skirt, and watch Alya convulse.

SL Lila: Drop the act and just admit she likes feeling sexy. Her friends help her find costumes that are age appropriate but scratch that itch and Lila puts more thought into the actual character. She gets a new appreciation for merging horror with pretty stuff - like a Zombie Cheerleader or Elsa but with ice coming out of her skin. It also lets her stretch her makeup skills.

#on the lila thing I just wanna say that I used to have that embarrassing 'i wanna be a sexy grown up' phase #so that's where I'm coming from with that logic #halloween #my opinion #halloween costumes #ml #miraculous ladybug #crisisdparity

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ihassheepquake · 3 years

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DC's Batwoman 3.01 "Mad as a Hatter" has aired on the CW, and I'm here to talk about it

That's right, we're doing this for Batwoman now. Of all the Arrowverse shows, Batman and his mythos is actually what I know the most about, so it's about time I start talking about Batwoman more. Ryan Wilder made be made just for the show (although she has made her way into comics), we're going to really get into a lot of typical Gotham mythos and it's characters.

I'm pretty sure we've learned from trailers that Mad Hatter & Poison Ivy are set to be the main villains of this season, which I'm all about. I'm actually really surprised that characters like Hatter, Alice, and Chesire have never teamed up in the comics before (that I know of). Mad Hatter feels like the obvious choice as a villain moving forward in this show, especially since it seems like Alice is joining team Bat this time around.

This Hatter, who may or may not be Jervis, currently unsure, is an Alice fan! I love that choice. This appears to be a new person who knows of the Hatter, and not the Hatter himself getting his hat back, but I'm unsure. Obviously, Batman had the Hatter's hat, which means Jervis does exist, so this is possibly a Mad Hatter 2? I don't think anyone other than Jervis Tetch has been the Hatter in comics so I'm curious to see if this Hatter is a new person and the old one was Jervis, or if it's the other way around, or if this is the actual old Hatter getting his hat back.

Love the new logo. The red looks great.

I think it'd be really funny if these postcards Alice is getting were actually her writing herself instead of coming from Jacob Kane.

Does this Hatter run an Alice fan blog? That's fun. And he's made a dude kill his friend. Now that's some Mad Hatter shit, love it.

Renee Montoya??? The Renee Montoya??? Oh hell yeah, this is going to get good.

So this is definitely a new Hatter. And not Jervis Tetch. So I wonder who he is.

I like seeing Sophie and Ryan as friends. There was so much drama in most of last season. This is refreshing. Now the question is, will the show push them together? Will Sophie eventually be able to get back with Kate, and Renee with Ryan?

So what is Sophie doing now that the Crows died anyway? Is she a P.I. or something? When last season was dying down, I was kind of expecting them to make Sophie our kind of Renee Montoya stand-in, but now that Renee is in the show, I'm even more curious about what Sophie does.

You know what, I'm not mad at this mystery with Ryan's birth mum. Could we probably be more original? Yeah. Do I care? Not really. If it works, it works, and it's clearly going to be one of the core elements of this season. And with Ryan being a new character, it's not like she has comic book stuff to work off of.

New Hatter is crashing Mary's graduation, and mind-controlling her into making a scene. That's fun. And we now know that his name is Liam. And from the opening scene, we know his full name is Liam Crandle, who seems to be a brand new character. Googling the name brings up nothing other than the Arrowverse wiki. I'm not going to lie, I missed when the Bat team learned his name and just noticed them calling him Liam and I had to go hunt down the full name.

Oh, the postcards don't even exist. I was betting on Alice wrote them herself, but this is even better. It's magazine cutouts and old napkins. That's a dangerous deal Ryan is making with Alice.

Batwing, aka Luke, is a bad arse in the comics. And he's not so much yet in the show. I hope we can see him become the badarse he is over the course of this season.

And Alice has literally stabbed Hatter in the back. Love that for her. And he's gotta come back for revenge, huh?

How cute, Mary's giving her actual speech to her friends. But does Mary really need Hatter to give her the lesson about how the medical community sucks? She's had her clinic this whole time for that specific reason.

Yay found family! We love that! Awwwwe, Lucius made himself an AI for the Batwing suit? This kind of shit is what I always love.

Renee, Alice, and Ryan team-up? What fun indeed.

Okay, that is the season 3 premiere of Batwoman! An exciting start. I actually quite enjoyed season 2, I know a lot of people didn't, but I'm super excited to keep going and see more of this show. I like Ryan as a character and I think it's going to be really fun to see Alice as a part of the Bat team. Tune in next week for Batwoman 3.02 "Loose Tooth"

#batwoman cw #batwoman (dctv)#ryan wilder #mary kane #luke fox #beth kane #sophie moore #renee montoya #batwoman #batwing #the question #alice dc #liam crandle #mad hatter #sheep talks superheroes

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hotdadslade · 4 years

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Let’s Talk About White Rabbit

I’ve been stewing on a post like this for a while, but after a friend got a nasty message over on twitter about it, I wanted to elaborate over here, in a bit longer form.

A lot of people probably don’t know who White Rabbit is, and that’s fine! She’s a pretty obscure character by DC comics standards, but she’s a part of Prime Earth (That is, DC: Rebirth), and continues to show up here and there. A lot of people probably only recognize her by appearance, because it’s pretty distinct:

She’s also, without question, a terrible character. If you’re a huge fan of White Rabbit, probably best to move on. If you dislike her, have no opinion, or don’t yet know who she is... well, this post is for you.

So, without further ado, here’s an explanation of why White Rabbit is awful:

First, to get this out of the way: White Rabbit (WR from now on) has no connection to the Mad Hatter. The bunny-themed supervillainess who appears with him is the March Hare. WR only appears with him once (and once on an unexplained cover page), and it seems strongly to be an accident/case of mistaken identity.

So who is the White Rabbit?

WR first appeared in New 52′s Batman: The Dark Knight. She was actually the first major antagonist in the book, appearing in the first issue and being the primary antagonist for the whole first eight issues. She’s portrayed as (generally speaking) being a mercenary, although her actual motives are extremely unclear.

For the first seven issues, we bounce between Bruce dealing with various villains that are working with WR and Bruce’s suspicion that Jaina Hudson, the gorgeous (and boy does the comic tell you how hot she is) woman he’s seeing might be connected.

Which is weird, because White Rabbit is a white woman, and Jaina Hudson is most certainly not:

Jaina is introduced to us as a half-Indian, half (white) American socialite. She flirts with Bruce, he flirts back, and so on. It’s not until issue seven that we learn that WR and Jaina are the same person, because Jaina has the bizarre and completely unexplained superpower to...

Become a white woman.

Yeah.

Jaina is capable of splitting into two separate people, and one of those people is a white woman who runs around in high heels, bunny ears, and lingerie. I’d love to explain the dynamic at play here, but I really can’t: they appear to have two different personalities, but this is never explained or defined, because...

Jaina has never had an actual arc.

Jaina’s arc starts decently enough, or at least not terribly. Bruce is portrayed as being bizarrely sexist, and constantly refers to the White Rabbit, a supervillain who is literally working with the worst of the worst, as a ‘girl’. It’s implied he might have feelings for her (???). But there’s at least some sort of interesting dynamic as Bruce tries to work out how Jaina and WR are connected (They both use the same catchphrase, inviting Bruce/Batman to ‘catch them’).

The reveal that they’re the same person is... to say the least, a huge letdown.

There are so many bizarre aspects to this. Is WR intended to be Jaina’s ideal self? Why does she spawn wearing lingerie? Does Jaina know what WR is doing while she’s away?

And that’s not even touching on the racial issues.

I don’t think it’s going to shock people to hear that DC comics (and really, comics in general) have had an issue with representing minorities. While there are absolutely groups that get an even shorter stick, the total representation for the more than a billion people in India (and that’s not counting those who have moved elsewhere) is... extremely underwhelming. Of all the Indian (or Indian-American) characters DC has, the one with the most issues since New 52 is Solstice, a character whose superpowers hide her appearance completely (more on this later), who was killed off during the events of Heroes in Crisis.

Three of the top five were created with New 52 (one was created before, while one is a Rebirth era character). One is now dead, and one has stopped appearing in anything.

And Jaina—White Rabbit—is number five.

Despite having never had a full arc, Jaina continues to appear in comics. Her total issue count keeps going up. But it’s important to note that it’s not really Jaina appearing: It’s White Rabbit, who for all intents and purposes looks like a white woman. Jaina’s civilian form hasn’t appeared since they were first revealed to be the same person way back in 2011.

I think it’s important to recognize that there’s a strong trend of representing minority characters by not representing them. I’m sure everyone can think of one (or two, or three) non-white characters who spent the majority of their screen time changed in some way. Maybe they became an animal, or maybe they, like Solstice, had a special power that didn’t just empower them, but completely hid their appearance.

And when it just happens once, it’s not a huge deal. The problem is that when it becomes a trend (Disney was particularly bad about this), it’s important to think critically.

And Jaina’s case is particularly bad. It’s not just an Indian woman who spends most of her time disguised as an anthromorphic white rabbit: she’s an Indian woman who spends all of her time disguised as a white woman. Jaina hasn’t appeared outside her White Rabbit form since May 2012, but continues to cameo in almost every major ‘all the villains show up’ event. Any time a character can change their race it’s going to need to be handled with extreme delicacy. Jaina’s case isn’t. In fact, it’s literally not acknowledged at all, which makes Bruce’s suspicion of her slightly baffling. He’s already assuming she’s a meta who can shapeshift, so why does he never consider that she could be in two places at once? The fact is that nothing about Jaina’s story or situation even acknowledges that her race changes. The story remains exactly the same (in fact, it’s better, since it resolves Bruce’s suspicion) if she’s just a meta who can be in two places at once.

So why does this matter?

Jaina isn’t an old character. She’s not a DC touchstone who’s been around since the 50s and is being slowly, bit by bit, reimagined to be less problematic.

She was created in 2011. She’s not even a full decade old, so it’s not as if she’s a classic, and we could imagine that the creators didn’t think about the implications. At the same time, she’s also nine full years old, and despite having appeared in 19 issues, she’s never had any sort of character arc of her own. She appears, to be clear, to look sexy.

Specifically, to look sexy as a white woman who is dressed in high heels and garters.

There are a lot of characters with problems who have potential. Who can be tweaked and work perfectly well. But Jaina, despite the fact that DC keeps trotting her out, is not one of them.

DC really needs to just stop bringing her back: they need to let her fade into the existence and give her screen times to characters who don’t play into extremely uncomfortable (putting it lightly) tropes.

DC’s fifth most prominent Indian character shouldn’t be a white woman.

#white rabbit (dc)#jaina hudson #jaina hudson hate #white rabbit hate #dc critical

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0theghost0 · 4 years

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Okay, I'm going to try to not make this rambling nonsense.

So recently in my free time I've been going on a Riddler reading binge, and since he's my second favorite Batvillain I've zeroed in on some things that I think could be tweaked. If you kick Harley out of the mix, Eddie is probably the second most popular rogue in Batman. But he's also one of those characters that drastically changes depending on who is writing him. Which is fine, it's comics and that's how they work and it's part of the fun. But, it is a little weird considering how popular he is, and I think it works against the writing in a lot of situations.

Let me start by this by bringing up one of those old sayings in comic land. The Batman villains are interesting because they're all weird fun house mirror versions of Bruce Wayne and Batman. Joker is the extreme chaos to Batman's extreme order. Two Face is the duality, one for justice the other for violence. Mad Hatter is trying to reshape his world based off of a childish obsession. Ivy became a monster, hell bent on protecting what she sees as the real victims. The Penguin is an intelligent man from a rich and long family line, but with parents who didn't love him. They all show a fallacy in Batman's logic, a flaw in his mission. And then, there's the Riddler.

Sometimes he's more of a conman. He thinks he's super smart, and he's good at convincing people he is. But really he's just a money driven eccentric criminal who is a little smarter than the average citizen- who robs banks. Sometimes he's a hyper intelligent ego maniac who is determined to prove his superiority to everyone else- so he robs banks and steals jewels? And then sometimes he's a hyper intelligent narcissist determined to prove his superiority by making unsolvable puzzles- which I would argue is the most popular interpretation. This causes problems within the writing though. If there's no clear motivation he becomes... I swear to God I didn't do this on purpose- an enigma. Which is hilarious and all, but not very good for large world building. I think most people would argue that Eddie is one of Batman's greatest abilities turned against him (his intelligence). Which I would agree is the best way to handle him. If Eddie is one of the most dangerous super criminals in Gotham, he should have at least some clear motivation. Hell, in some comics Batman says Eddie is the smartest person in the whole city, and is even smarter than him. That’s a good foundation for a villain! Just make that the core of the character and write around that.

The thing is there’s been a lot of really good character building with Eddie in the comics, its just not always carried over into every interpretation and its not explored enough for it to be really impactful. If all of the interesting character traits were combined into one, and if a lot of that work was broken down into a more concise vision he’d work a lot better? He’s an abuse victim with some serious mental and personality issues that went untreated, and now he can outsmart everyone around him so good luck getting him any kind of help. He’s also very easy to dislike, which is great for a villain. He’s full of himself, pompous, mean, sleazy, extremely self centered, but charming in a weird used car salesman kinda way. Despite being so intelligent he’s never been part of the intellectual world, he’s always been down in the grime and gutter with the conmen. He only relies on himself, but is self destructive. He’s also pretty lazy, he likes to reach his goals by outsmarting people or the system rather than actually working toward them. He takes the easy way- until he doesn’t and really throws himself into a scheme, and then he’s really dangerous because he pulls out the whole bag of tricks. He relies on his intelligence too much, making him miss important details by not seeing their importance. Maybe he robs banks sometimes, because he’s bored and likes being the center of attention for a few minutes.

Y'know who else is easy to dislike? Bruce. Y'know who likes to do everything himself? Bruce. Y’know who misses details because he doesn’t see their importance? Bruce. Y'know who likes to take the easy way? Bruce. Though with him it's usually in emotional situations or interpersonal relationships. See what I’m trying to get at here? I don’t think I’m talking about anything that most fans don’t already think, I just find it odd that the comics seem to be making things a lot harder on themselves.

#text post #long post #ghosty ramblings #y'all wanted me to so here it is #I cut out a huge chunk of this where I angrily rambled about Eddie murdering people for no reason #this is just a tiny snippet #I went off topic so many times lol

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 4 years

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Lost Faith (Favored Ones, Part 24.)

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Quote for the chapter: “Live with me in this sin forever.” - Danny Kiranos

Part summary: Seattle was turning into a living nightmare - but finally, you had an information you wanted so bad in your palms. You got to know where Abby is.

A/N: I am sorry for describing such open violence, it’s going to be really disgusting with the upcoming parts. It is how it is.

Warnings: Gore, blood, murder, infected, guns, shooting, angst, graphic depiction of manslaughter.

Word count: 5.8 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme @davnwillcome @pickleriiick @jodiereedus22 @gladiosamicitias @tamkashi @eternallyvenus @avengerssstuff @fangirl-inthe-us @avery-miller @mikah-writes @mad-hatter-98 @sadiaafrin99 @flavorishy

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Youtube playlists: JACKSON DAYS | SEATTLE DAYS

Seattle, day two - evening:

It was dark outside for you to see anything. Maybe it was the coverage of the trees making it more difficult to see, but this place was simply too dark. But it came with one fact which made you realize that you maybe aren't that screwed. The Scars couldnt see shit either, so they were carrying torched to light up their surrounding. At least some of them to this degree.

"Who is that?" - Ellie whispered, looking around as well. You gazed back at her quickly to assure yourself that any of those fuckers are in close proximity to your bracken hiding spot. When you couldnt see any brown coat, you managed to speak quietly.

"These are the Scars. The enemies of the WLF. They communicate through whistling, so that's a catch." - You described your enemies quickly while getting up on your knees to see you'll be able to maneuver through the park, slowly getting some hang on the surroundings. - "They shoot arrows on sight, but if we take out of them, I can shoot back hopefully." - This was actually a good plan you came up with. There was no sureness if you'd make it out unnoticed, but taking out some of them could make your way easier.

"Hey, see these two loners next to the huge tree?" - Ellie pointed to a couple standing a few feet away from you. One of them was holding a torch and the other one was inspecting something, which made them an ideal target. Without any hesitation, you nodded and Ellie nodded back you, making sure you caught her drift. You were about to take them out. And so you got to the job, moving around as quietly and quickly as possible, running from one bush of bracken to another, waiting for a bit and repeating the process again. Ellie took out the standing one while you jumped on the back of the kneeling Scar, covering their mouth with your palm as you pushed your knife into the middle of their neck. It didn't even feel unnatural or too stuff by that pint. Your arm just automatically pushed deeper in, making sure that the son of a bitch stays dead when you let them go.

This couple was a bingo for the both of you - Ellie used the revolver rounds and you stole the four arrows you found at one of the bodies. Truth be told, this wasn't much ammunition - but it was better than nothing, that was for sure. Your chances of survival suddenly rose a little. Next, you made your way to another part of the park, killing everyone on sight quietly. Usually, you kneeled further away from them while Ellie hid behind them, waiting for you to shoot the arrow into their neck. After that, she made sure they won't get back on their legs ever again. If you'd had to admit something, it was you and Ellie being an extraordinary team when it came to killing both normal people and the infected. There wouldn't be any point in denying the fact.

It only got harder when you got to face the brutal scenery reminding you of the reality of Seattle. Two scars were dragging a man on the ground. He was pleading for his dearest life, crying out for help. And you'd help him if Ellie's palm didn't hold you down. It would be too dangerous to reveal yourself. If you wouldn't be too careful, this could be your faith as well.

The man was dragged to the third Scar, who was preparing a noose for him as the person watched him getting dragged on the mud, the stones and the branches fallen off the trees. This was making you sick from your stomach. You watched the shaming process until the very end - they hung him up and cut his belly open, watching as the blood and intestines basically fell out of his abdominal cavity. He was still fighting for his life when the group talked about him being freed from some sins or what. And as you and Ellie changed the position, hiding behind a fallen tree, you could see not one... But at least a dozen persons hung up in the same way.

"The TV station..." - Ellie sighed upon the terrifying sighting, trying to find some words to say. - "It was the Scars' doing. They hung the men up and killed Leah before we could get to her." - You finished quietly, looking at all of the people hanging there, being killed in the most humiliating way possible. With their hands tied behind their back, their abdominal cavity opened up and choked to death.

As you kneeled there and watched their work, of which the Scars were seemingly proud of, you felt another wave of rage filling you up. Without realizing what you were doing, you took out an arrow, watching a loner with a torch walking closer to you. It didn't matter in which fuckery did these psychos believed in. They were hunting down all people, putting them up as trophies of sorts, hanging each one of them in a gruesome way. Why should you have mercy when they didn't have any? Did their religion give them some sort of permission to do that to the others? Oh, you highly doubted that.

Some high-pitched sound was filling your eardrums up as your breathing got heavier and heavier. These fucks alone were responsible for Joel's death. No-one else was to be blamed then them. The beating of your heart was like drums inside your brain as you put your elbows high enough to go for her fucking head to shoot the loner down. Before Ellie could stop you from releasing the string, the arrow was on its way. What did happen after that, you didn't know.

Only glimpses of this action remained inside your head. Their begging when you circled your elbow around their neck as you sliced their fucking throats as if they were pigs. Shooting and yelling of commands, loud and warning whistling, begging for life. The blood soaking into the leather coats as the rain started falling through the coverage above. Suddenly, you winked again, waking up from the violent rage. You were standing next to the hanged man, who was still suffocating to his death with more than seven dead Scar bodies around you.

You were covered in blood from head to toes, trembling with your knife in your palm as you tried to remember what just happened. Then you noticed Ellie with her revolver standing in front of you with a blank expression as she was thinking about something, slowly putting the smoking gun down. - "Did I do this?" - One look around told you that you, in fact, cause all of that. All these people were stabbed to death, only some of them were also shot to their legs or arms.

"I couldn't stop you. It was as if... As if there was no-one inside you for a moment." - The girl confessed as you let the knife fall on the ground to follow it, puking into the small puddle of water. Your stomach was contracting for a long time, but nothing other than saliva left your body. You noticed a drop of blood slowly rolling to your nose as you concentrated on your reflection. Your eyes were empty, but it was the only feature you were able to recognize. You felt Ellie's palm tugging you up back on your feet, leading you to another hideout.

"They must've heard what happened here, so we better move it. You weren't exactly discreet or quiet with this matter." - The redhead whispered and started to wipe the blood off of your forehead. How could you know what you're feeling with the utter chaos roaming every small part of your body? You already started to grief for Joel as your brain slowly connected the dots, but it turned out differently than sadness usually does. It was indeed very useful, but not in your current situation. - "You holding up?" - She asked when she saw the spaced-out expression you had.

"Aren't you afraid of me now?" - A whimper left your lips as you felt the urge to cry. At that moment, were you still having the moral high ground when it came to Ellie and Joel? Or were you just like them since that moment? You killed at least eleven people in a spawn of two to three minutes. Like a brute. But Ellie shook her head with an unnatural expression. - "We do what we need to do. We endure and survive." - The girl told you and checked the surroundings once again. No-one was coming in your direction. It looked safe. - "Comic books can teach a hell load of stuff when you read the right ones." - She explained the quote as you made your way through an empty, corroded parking lot full of empty cars. As you found the staircase leading up, Ellie made sure she goes first before any of these bat shit crazy thoughts you clearly had would fuck your head up again. This wasn't what you two needed at the moment.

Well, fuck both of you, there were more Scars in your way once you came out of the building. Which could be a problem once you'd let yourself set loose again. So she made sure you're staying put by kneeling with you beyond one of the obstacles. - "Listen. I need you to shoot them down just like before, okay?" - Ellie asked you and watched your head nodding so she'd be at least partially sure you won't go all crazy again. - "Alrite. Imma go first there and you'll follow me once this area is cleared out, we clear?" - Again, you confirmed, preparing your bow and steadying yourself on your position. The girl was on the move and you just kneeled there, having the first one on your mark - you were ready to fire once you'd get the signal. It came soon enough. Ellie jumped over the huge guys' chest and sliced his throat - but that wasn't enough to bring him down. So, with a shallow breath, you went for his exposed chest, hitting the spot where you thought he'll have the heart. It wasn't sure if you hit or miss in the first few moments, but soon enough, you watched him crumble down like a house of cards.

You walked through this part of the city just like that - you sneaked around in the tall grass, took cover behind cars and walls and you were leading the long-ranged attacks while Ellie was doing the manual job. You didn't even have to be afraid that you'll go out of arrows. Scars had more than enough archers, which played in your favors. Sure, it felt weird to go through cooling bodies of your enemies, but it turned out these fucks had a lot of stuff. A lot of gun ammo, some first aid supplies, arrows, and... - "Wow. Would you look at that." - You mumbled to Ellie once you bowed over to pick a manual weapon. You snorted upon watching the blade of the machete, knowing damn well this girl will be put to use very soon. Quickly, you pinned into the small drink rack on your backpack with straps so it wouldn't fall out that easily, looking at Ellie.

"We should move on. Let's jump off here, to the other concrete island, yeah?" - The girl pointed her finger below you and you chuckled ironically. Well, not that you could choose. You've scavaged the whole place already and there was no other option for you to go. So you sighed and looked at your best friend. - "Please, may the Lord let me survive to see another day." - You said before jumping down. Your muscles jolted in a weird way as you muttered out a curse word. - "Watch out!" - Ellie yelled at you just before a Scar shot a bullet at you. Quickly, you pulled out your gun, trying to shoot him down as well while Ellie landed next to you, taking care of the other two men standing at the island.

When it was silent there again, you laid down on your back while Ellie sat down, catching some breath. - "Fucking Christ. We can't have one peaceful moment in this shit hole, can we?" - You stated, as a matter of fact, having your friend chuckling at it as she shook her head. When you caught at least a bit of energy, you decided to continue trough a make-up store to see where it leads. But mostly you chose this route because of the hospital war right behind it. Ellie went to open up the door just when it got torn from the doorframe.

A huge man in a leather coat came out of the doorframe, holding a massive hammer in his arms as he walked up to Ellie, having an obvious message inside his face. He hadn't noticed you, so you ducked behind one of the covers, taking out the machete from the place you've had it at. You knew it will come in handy - yet you couldn't know it will be so soon.

Ellie was in life-threatening danger - but you couldn't go to a one-on-one fight with this man. Against him, you were a branch on a dead tree. But you could surprise him. All it took was a bit of patience and a lot of hope that Ellie won't get hurt or killed before that moment.

Your guts told you when it was safe to go after the man, jumping on his shoulders and piercing the machete through his chest. This one was way stiffer than going for someone's neck, that was for sure. While you were hanging on the man's back, pushing the machete deeper with your torso, Ellie picked up on her legs and took her revolver out, going after the big guy's companion who was shooting arrows at you.

It was pure chaos, to say the least. The big guy groaned in pain as you felt your chest meet his shoulder blades, meaning that the machete cut through him. Finally, you felt the man collapsing under you while Ellie still had her little shoot out with the other Scar.

When the man was finally laying on his back, you could see the tip of your weapon coming out of his upper belly. But no matter how much the guy was hurt, he didn't seem to be dying just yet. So, without hesitation, you leaned down to rip the sledgehammer out of his grasp, finishing him for good.

The man was fighting back forcefully. He tried to push you down so much that you involuntary decided to fall into the deepest pit of the brutal animality - you stepped in his face with your boot, finally securing the sledgehammer... Smashing it right into his skull without the slightest attempt to stop yourself from making a jam out of the human being's organs.

The crack haunted your ears for another five minutes. You were standing above the dead body, watching everything sort of slowly leaking out of the man's skull. Your stomach was still kicking in, but you didn't feel anything anymore. The view was gross to look at, but... Your consciousness was completely quiet. There wasn't single remorse, no bad thoughts haunting your head, panic attack, or grossing out about yourself.

It scared you - especially when you realized that the only thought making you angry was that your machete was now stuck in the man's body, which made it unusable now. Unless you'd be willing to turn him on his back and pull it out again. Which you didn't want to do that at all. - "Fucking hell. Are you okay?" - Ellie turned her head at you and you, with an empty expression, turned your head at her back. Without a word, you nodded and went to check the other room to see if there's anyone still alive there.

It struck at the very moment. The emptiness inside your chest and head. You figured out why was it there. It finally clicked inside your head. This was what being fueled by rage felt. On the inside, you were eaten alive by hatred because of Joel. Sure, there was this thing about revenge which made you come to Seattle in the first place, but it wasn't the emotion of rage at the time. Yet the longer Joel wasn't there, the longer you processed that the Scars maybe killed him on the unfinished bridge, the more of rage was ramping inside of you. His disappearance made you lashing out on two occasions now - how many of these sudden lashing outs did you have in front of you? None? One? Ten?

This could cost you your life if you wouldn't be careful. And if you'd get that WLF whore into your hands... Oh, boy.

"Ellie?" - A mumble filled the silence as you made your way forward, swimming in deep water because there was no other way to get into the hospital complex. At the moment, you both stopped and just tried to keep your heads above the surface. The girl looked you in the eyes, knitting her eyebrows together. - "Don't let me get to Nora under any circumstances, can you promise me that?" - This demand clearly surprised your best friend. But to a certain degree, she could understand what was that about.

She didn't believe that Joel would get killed by a bunch of bow-shooting, whistling savages. No. He was a man who had to have his own back for twenty years. This very man was capable of murdering a whole patrol consisting of twenty people inside of a Pittsburg hotel, which she saw with her own eyes. This man taught her every small thing about survival inside the enemy's territory - from how to sneak around to making them terrified of her.

Yet the weird, unsettling feeling was tickling her guts. It was more or less a what-if situation which her brain wasn't accepting. No. Joel had to be alive. The man had to be fucking alive. Because she knew that if you'd bump into Joel's body hung just like the man you've seen being executed earlier, she'd fall into a way deeper and way more aggressive state than you were at. So, your demand made sense to her, having her promise you to keep you out of Nora's presence by any means necessary.

You entered the hospital through the lower floor, which was mostly flooded. Both of you went into an immediate quiet mode as soon as you recognized that you've finally entered the enemy's territory. Now, there weren't any bow-shooting savages who sometimes knew how to use a bow. Now, you had to be extra-careful, since you found yourself in a hospital full of trained soldiers. Especially, when one of them was sitting on a box with their back turned at you. - "Stay here. I'll deal with her, try to ask where Nora is." - Ellie instructed you before swimming off. With a quick nod, you caught one of the flooded boilers to take a bit of rest.

Ellie swung behind the person, putting her ejection knife to the girl's throat, tearing headphones out of her ears. - "Don't make a fucking sound." - Ellie muttered with ice-cold calmness, using her knee to make the girl raise both her palms up. - "Hands up." - Ellie said her point out loud, making sure she had control over the situation.

"Easy... Easy." - "You know a girl named Nora?" - Ellie asked instead of lowering her attention too much. - "Sure, yeah." - The girl nodded frantically. The sound of her gulping traveled all the way to you. - "Where is she?" - "In the hospital." - "Where in the hospital?" - You could physically see Ellie rolling her eyes at the dodging answers the headphone girl was giving her. But in the next moment, as the muscles on Ellie's arm flexed and pushed the knife closer to the girl's throat, she finally decided to speak clearly.

"They're c-clearing the upper floors. She's somewhere in there." - With the realization, you saw that Ellie's attention faded away into the background as she thought about something. That was the moment the headphones girl could fight for her life, and so, she was quick to take her own knife out, turning out to face Ellie. Ellie managed to grasp the girl's wrist holding the knife, keeping it away from her body. Without you grasping the situation, Ellie's arm sprung forward, stabbing the girl's throat straight forward, making you stop for a second.

You took a moment to see Ellie's response before you swam after your friend as you both watched the girl suffocating in her own blood. Well, this was starting in a splendid way. - "This didn't go as planned, did it?" - You asked and leaned closer to the girl, watching her face for the first time. And she was offputtingly familiar to your eyes. But honestly, you couldn't determine if she was a part of Baldwin or not in the state you were at.

"Fuck, of course, it didn't go as planned. Holy shit." - Ellie sighed, catching her temples with both her palms, trying to calm herself down. It was your time to intervene - so you stood up in front of her, catching both her shoulders in your palms. - "Calm the fuck down." - You mumbled, having the girl lowering her arms down as she started to stare at you. - "We need to move our asses if we don't want the WLF finding us standing above their stabbed friend. Get your shit together and let's go."

It was funny to see how your roles suddenly changed. Just a day ago, you puked the fuck out of you after you left the TV station, having Ellie and Dina calming you down, telling you that what you did was the right response in the situation you've found yourself in. Now, you were calming Ellie down after her body performing an automatic self-defense reaction. Ellie slowly nodded, gulped, and remained herself to keep her shit together, as you put it.

Both of you were so close to finding Nora. Nora who knew Abby. That Nora who was photographed with the rest of the Jackson-attacking WLF party. The woman who could tell you where Abby could be. So, you set on your way through the whole hospital. - "By the way, did Dina found any more things out? About Owen, Mel, maybe the Hispanic man?" - You asked when you gathered some bullets you've found in a small storeroom next to the spot the headphones girl was sitting at. - "I mean, we can maybe continue when you confront Nora. We don't even have to stop." - You offered, but to your disappointment, Ellie just shook her head.

"Yeah, from what Dina understood when I and Jesse got back," - "Jesse is here? Our black-haired Jesse? Jackson Jesse?" - You shot back almost immediately. The girl slowly straightened up, looking at you. There was no proper time to tell you she found Jesse instead of Tommy when she was in Hillcrest. - "He went after us all the way just the other fucking day after we left Jackson. Listen, I don't know what was he thinking either?" - "Fuck it. Just tell me what Dina found out." - You mumbled angrily, shoving some chocolate bar you've found down your throat.

This situation was bad. And it was seemingly getting worse and worse with each passing hour. If you'd be in Jackson, you'd be shaken just by the thought of killing someone else. Let alone sledgehammering their skull. But there you were, doing all you had to do if you wanted to survive long enough to see another day. But with Jesse joining you in Seattle, there was another unknown added to the equation. Dina was fucking pregnant with this boy. He was another person to feed, to look after, to protect. Sure, he could be helpful in more ways than in which was he a deadweight, but still... Your gut told you that Jesse joining you on your small Seattle quest was something that was about to end fucking bad.

"Dina thinks that Owen had gone AWOL, possibly with Mel, we don't know that yet. She was mentioned in the reports about Owen." - "AWOL?" - You asked back and Ellie thought about other ways to tell you the piece of information. - "He went dark, disappeared, WLF don't know where he is at this moment." - She explained swiftly.

The piece of information made you stop everything you were doing for a small moment as you looked Ellie in the eyes again. Owen had gone dark? Did he disappear? The man who was helping Abby with every moment of fucking you up was nowhere to be found at the moment? Was there a possibility you wouldn't get him the piece of humble pie he deserved? Why was it crumbling all down? Trying to get through it, you nodded, sighing once again.

"Let's go." - Your best friend patted your shoulder, leading you through the first floor of the hospital. Yet just when you were about to leave into a small opened space with a big white tent, her arm pulled you down. - "I kinda forgot to mention they have dogs. Look around, we need some plan to get done with this... Quietly." - Ellie instructed you. The information about the dogs made you worried. What should you do with an animal like this? While you couldn't take care of the dogs, you could see a way of keeping the men under your eye.

"See that nest out there?" - You asked, motioning to the other side of the small yard. - "Get me up there and we can make it work." - So, it was decided. For the first time, you tried to keep the whole operation as quiet as possible, making sure you dispose of the dead WLFs in a way so their friends couldn't see them right away. Soon enough, you were kneeling inside the nest, having a dead sniper laying on the ground behind you. It was your time to shine while Ellie was working manually down there, making her way to the inside.

Your plan was easy - making some noise outside, diverting the attention to the yard for Ellie to have her space inside. Which you could make work because Ellie gave you a pre-prepared Molotov and another empty bottle. So far, your estimations involving proximity worked, so why would you fail now, right? First, you threw the bottle out, waiting for the first ones coming out. There weren't many of them, so had to pick a different approach.

You grabbed the rifle which was laying there, firing to the air to alert the WLFs. Sure. What now? - "Trespasser! In the tent!" - You yelled to lure them exactly where you wanted them to be. And to your surprise, they gathered around the tent, searching through it. At that moment, you felt it's right to throw the bottle. And so you did. All you did was sitting there, listening to what you've caused in horror as it slowly settled down.

The whole tent was now on fire. Because you threw a Molotov at it shamelessly. To divert their attention. Now, you were watching a group of people you've just set on fire along with the tent. First, you let yourself somewhere back there in the bridge-building. Then, you killed a guy in a gruesome way. Now, you set people on fire. But it worked because soon enough, you heard the WLF going after Ellie, who infiltrated the building.

For quite a long time, you just sat there with your back leaned to the nest's wall, looking down on the yard to see if something goes bad. It was hard to say how much time passed by when Ellie crawled out of a different end of the yard. Just one look told you the shit, whatever happened there, went downhill. Usually, you being the clumsy one, you ended up covered in blood since you entered Seattle. But now, Every small piece of Ellie's clothing was ravaged in small splashes of blood. Without much hesitation, you climbed down, dragging Ellie out of the hospital, setting back on your way to the theatre.

Once you didn't feel threatened with the WLFs, infected or the Scars, you sat Ellie down to catch some breath. - "Okay, start talking." - You mumbled to the disoriented girl. Her breath was shallow and somehow, the seemed to be out of the world. Just after you shook her shoulders, her palms gripped your forearms as she partially got back to reality. - "You're freaking me out, Ellie. What happened?" - You mumbled, watching Ellie, sitting opposite of her to keep her mentally with you at least a bit.

"It's about... Nora. She's dead." - The girl breathed out, trying to search for words to say. - "The Scars? Did the Scars kill Nora as well?" - You answered immediately to keep the flow going. Ellie shook her head and looked into your eyes. - "I did... I have... I killed her, Y/N. I did it." - Then you didn't get the issue of the situation. Ellie had murdered tens, maybe hundreds of people before. Why would Nora shake her guts so hard? - "I didn't want to, but she didn't give any other option. I chased her down to an area full of spores... And... Then... It got into me." - Ellie started to ramble, but you didn't say a word. You just listened to what she had on her mind. You've seen Ellie with tears in her eyes rarely, yet there you were, having the girl trembling under your fingers.

"It got so personal. I was standing above her when she started to swing the pipe at me, but she was already suffocating. All I could see was she and her friends hurting you and Tommy in the cabin, realizing Nora probably knows where Abby is now. And I hit her. And then I hit her again. And again." - She explained and shook her head. This was getting into her head as well, which was breaking you apart. Gently, you let the girl slowly slip into your arms as you smoothed her back with quiet hums. - "The Seattle Aquarium." - Ellie whispered suddenly. - "She might be in the aquarium."

While you gathered your mind to realize what did that mean, you didn't spot the shadow lurking behind you. But suddenly, something grabbed both of you.

#ellie williams #ellie the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller x y/n #joel miller imagine #joel miller the last of us #dina the last of us #dina something something #jesse the last of us #dina x ellie #joel and ellie #the last of us #the last of us part two #the last of us part 2 #the last of us imagine #tlou #tlou2

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tenjouu · 5 years

Text

revolvere (1/?)

facetious plot summary: Lancelot loses his magic upon traveling back in time to the day of Alice the Second’s arrival. How will he save the world equipped with only his winning looks and charisma? Read on to find out! lmao!

chapter 1: it’s all about dates

His dying thoughts are: I would have done this differently.

All he can offer Harr is a contrite, chastised smile from the floor when the final throwdown with Amon doesn’t go at all like intended, because moments from now, after Lancelot dies, Harr will be left to face Amon alone.

The idiot shouldn’t have burst in like that. Of course Lancelot would jump in front of Amon’s answering blast. Of course Lancelot does.

“Sorry,” the words bubble to his lips, seeing Harr’s contorted expression. He can’t stop trembling in Harr’s arms. Amon’s witchlike cackles ricochet with the scattered thoughts in his skull.

“No—no, you idiot,” Harr gasps. “You can’t just—!”

Everything around Harr bleeds white, and Lancelot can’t keep Harr in focus. Harr’s voice is getting farther and farther away with each erratic, desperate thump of his failing heart.

In his last moments, he sees Harr in true despair and wonders if this is the sight that will haunt him in hell.

—

Hell, curiously, looks just like Central Quarter. When Lancelot’s sight returns to him, he sees soldiers across the expanse. In his peripheral vision, the habit of the Red Army spans for miles.

Alice is even there in the sea of Black Army soldiers. Ray Blackwell stares impassively across the no-man’s land between their two armies.

“King Lancelot?” Jonah prompts.

Lancelot opens his mouth to ask what the hell is going on. Sirius breaks free of the ranks.

“Lance!” he shouts. “Talk to me! Why are you doing this?”

“Stand down, Black Queen!” Jonah hisses in indignation.

Lancelot tunes them out. What the hell is going on? He should be back in the tower, with Harr—or did Harr teleport him to Central Quarter? But when did Alice go to the Black Army? She was with Edgar, she should’ve have stayed in headquarters during the war—

“Alice,” Lancelot says, ignoring Sirius, genuinely confused. “Why are you with the Black Army?”

No trace of recognition or characteristic warmth in her eyes—instead, fear and trepidation. Alice shrinks into herself when Lancelot calls out to her, and Lancelot is taken aback. What could have transpired while he was at the tower to have turned her against them?

“This is between you and me, King of Hearts,” Blackwell says coldly. “Leave her out of this.”

“I don’t recall addressing you,” Lancelot replies. “Alice—“

“Lance,” Sirius pleads.

Lancelot turns his gaze to Sirius, disapproving. “Did he tell you nothing of his plans?” Lancelot demands. “How could you let him—!“ His face pales because Harr’s still at the tower—

“Whose plans?” Sirius asks, as Lancelot prepares to teleport back to the tower. Even if it takes his life, he’ll fight his way back to Harr.

But strangely, his magic isn’t working. Strangely, he doesn’t feel the power humming under his skin.

“Lance, please, this is like a declaration of war,” Sirius tries. “Why do you want to absorb the Black—“

“We’re already at war!” Lancelot snaps, turning his fury on Sirius when he realizes he’ll have to make his way on foot. “Black Army be damned! Why do you waste my—“

“We’re not at war!” Sirius yells back. “And we won’t have to be if you stop this farce—“

When something clicks in Lancelot’s brain, he stills.

“We’re not at war?” Lancelot repeats slowly.

“Despite how much you want it,” Blackwell cuts in wryly, “no.”

“Then where is Harr?” he demands.

Silence sweeps through the masses at the mention of the wanted wizard. Lancelot stares straight at Sirius, waiting for an answer even as dread diffuses like a heavy weight across his body.

When Sirius fails to produce an answer, clenching his fist, Lancelot turns to look at his own army behind him. The baffled looks exchanged discreetly between his officers are telling. Jonah looks hesitantly to Lancelot, unsure of how to raise the question.

Jonah is saved by the sound of a carriage pulling up. The White Rabbit and the Mad Hatter step out.

“That’s quite enough, gentlemen,” Blanc interjects.

Lancelot cannot help the scowl that surfaces on his face when he realizes things have gone way out of his control. He didn’t think it was possible. But Blanc has that watch hanging from his pocket, the one he only wears on him when traveling to and from the Land of Reason. The night of the full moon was only twenty-six days ago.

The arrival of Alice. Today is the dawn of that day.

Lancelot raises his hand before wary faces. The chosen thirteen of Blackwell’s troupe look visibly surprised when Lancelot drags it down his face in tiredness.

He just died maybe ten minutes ago, after all. Apparently he can’t even use magic anymore. He probably left Harr to die in that timeline alone. The number of fucks he gives is now absolutely zero.

Blanc is still talking, reading from his handbook: “—I should remind you all that fighting in neutral territory is strictly prohibited without an evacuation notice issued one week prior.”

“Our apologies, Blanc,” Blackwell offers. “We’ll both withdraw our troops.”

Lancelot inclines his head in agreement. He turns to Jonah and gives him a sharp nod. Jonah, even with the uncertainty in his expression, obeys Lancelot unconditionally and whistles to the rest of the army.

One man—Lancelot—doesn’t move. And the other man standing by him stays perfectly still too. Blackwell shoots Sirius a curious glance, but Sirius waves him off.

When both armies have cleared out, Blanc hovers hesitantly between Sirius and Lancelot, wondering if he should intervene. The Mad Hatter scoffs, “Let them be, rabbit. There’s nothing about fist-fighting in there.” And then the two of them are finally alone.

“Why ask about Harr?” Sirius whispers low. “Do you want to speak with him?”

Lancelot arches a brow. “I’m listening.”

Sirius doesn’t even miss a beat. “Then get your head out of your ass,” he replies.

That is so out of nowhere—but pretty well-deserved—that it catches Lancelot off-guard. He’s startled to laughter.

“You’re not entitled to make any demands,” Lancelot says mirthfully, finding himself chuckling out of genuine amusement. “I could declare war on you right here.”

“Not if you want to speak with Harr,” Sirius replies, ever the strategist. He seems to have cottoned on to whatever power Harr has over Lancelot’s decisions. “A truce. Don’t go declaring war. And stop picking fights with the Black Army.”

Lancelot takes in a deep breath. Then he hisses sharply, “You fool!” Sirius flinches back. “You’ve come woefully underprepared if you think I’ll agree to such a peace treaty. Do not enrage me with such a half-hearted attempt.”

When Sirius realizes that Lancelot is actually pulling his leg, a brilliant grin spreads across his face. Sirius has always been a handsome bastard. Hopefully, his face will win Jonah over; Lancelot does not plan to be there for the aftermath of the negotiations.

“Harr’s going to punch you in the face,” Sirius warns him.

“If he can reach,” Lancelot responds, self-assured. “But I was being serious. If you want me to agree, then there’s one more condition you must fulfill.”

“What?”

“I want to have tea with Alice.”

“I don’t—know about that,” Sirius says hesitantly.

“Oh?” Lancelot says. “Then the deal’s off.”

He can see the cogs in Sirius’ brain turning. Any remotely competent strategist with half a brain would be able to envision how this could feasibly go down. First, Lancelot agrees to the peace treaty to lower the Black Army’s guard. Second, he invites over and imprisons Alice in Red Headquarters and isolates their only (albeit symbolic) boon from the Red Army’s massive stock of magic crystals. Third, he goes back on his word and declares war.

Sirius is obviously thinking this but doesn’t quite want to imply Lancelot is capable of it. Since that would conversely imply that he doesn’t have as much faith in Lancelot as he claims to possess.

Because Lancelot knows that Sirius is a fool that, despite everything, trusts him whole-heartedly, he fights the urge to snicker when he sees Sirius struggling.

“We can have tea,” Sirius finally says, hope transparent

“No,” Lancelot says firmly. “I will have tea with Alice alone.”

“Why?”

Lancelot smiles at him. “Because she seems to be a lovely woman and I would like to get to know her better,” he deadpans, ignoring the way Sirius’ eyes go comically wide. “You may send anyone with her to Red Headquarters, but we will have tea alone. If you cannot do even this, then there will be no peace treaty. Do not disappoint me, Sirius.”

“Wh-What,” Sirius splutters as Lancelot turns his back and goes back in the direction of his horse. Jonah, ever loyal, is waiting for him there.

Lancelot has a plan.

He swore on his dying breath, after all. That he’ll do things differently.

#ft #ikerev fanfic #my chance to write lance as the true badass he is!!!#au where lancelot travels back to the arrival of alice and decides to do it different #lance is now only able to rely on his massive and potent BDE to survive #did i mention he gives 0 cares!#hints of my favorite ships #lancelot loves his friends #hai i am back only to publish this crack fic #massive shitposts following in the days to come #suspend your belief for literally all of this fic i'm only here to write what makes me laugh #fic: lance changes the world

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kootenaygoon · 5 years

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So,

Cold tears lingered on my cheeks as we hiked downhill through ankle-deep snow, icy wind gusting up from Kootenay Lake and flowing full in our faces. We trudged from one streetlight to the next, squinting into the swirling darkness, lurching unsteadily. There were four or five of us migrating from a house party further up the hill, and none of us were dressed for this sudden blizzard. Paisley had me around my hips as she took careful steps down the sidewalk, and I pulled my coat tighter around my face. I’ve always been a wuss when it comes to winter, having grown up on the west coast, and I was contemplating a U-turn towards home—it was almost midnight and I knew Muppet and Buster were waiting to be cuddled.

Since the beginning of our relationship neither Paisley or I had done much partying, as we’d settled into an increasingly cozy home life, but over Christmas we found ourselves navigating increasingly bombastic social scenarios that left us feeling like clueless ancients. Before we’d been feeling bored and under-stimulated, staying home all the time to order takeout and re-watch the Harry Potter series, but now we had the opposite problem—we were scrambling to keep up. As we crossed through the final intersection and rounded down to Front Street I wondered if there was anything at this upcoming party that could compare to luxuriating in a hot bath.

“I’m starting to ponder the nature of suffering here,” I said. “I’m like one minute away from dying in a snowbank.”

“We’re almost there,” yelled back our friend Caelynn. “It’s right up in that building, the Hall Street Emporium. Like only two blocks further.”

“The party’s in that building? The one with the new pot dispensary?” I asked.

“Yeah, he’s the one that’s putting it on.”

“Who?”

“The main grower, Niles. Apparently he’s handing out a bunch of free weed.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“That’s what my friend texted. She said there’s like 50 people there.”

I’d been keeping a close eye on the cannabis scene since the municipal election, but hadn’t actually pulled the trigger on any Star stories after the pushback I received from management over the Sensible BC thing. I didn’t want to come off to the community as overzealous, too pot-friendly, but marijuana seemed like the main Nelson story that wasn’t being told. There was a long-standing culture of silence around the controversial plant, of secrecy, but with legalization coming I felt like it wasn’t necessary for everyone to hide anymore. Paisley and I had checked out the new place a few weeks earlier, when gossip reached us, and we’d been surprised by how amateur the operation was. It was being run by a 24-year-old former forest fire fighter named Marv, and he’d essentially dragged a glass countertop into an empty room devoid of decorations and proceeded to sell weed and a variety of edibles to whoever walked through the door—he didn’t even check for ID.

I figured it was only a matter of time before the police intervened.

“That guy Marv is such a heat score,” I said. “It’s like he’s daring the police to raid him.”

“What are they gonna do?” Caelynn asked, defiant. “It’s gonna be legal in like a year anyways, right? Fuck those pigs.”

“They may not be able to do anything right now, but he’s still going about this the wrong way.”

“What’s the right way, then?”

“People appreciate some professionalism. I mean, once legalization comes everything’s going to be so different, above board, and there’s not going to be room for people like him.”

“You wanna put money on that?”

I thought about it for a second. “I bet you 50 bucks he’s shut down within three months.”

Caelynn smiled. “Three months from today? 50 bucks? I’ll shake on that.”

A few minutes later we reached the party, and noisily banged the snow off our boots as we entered the building. The first thing I saw was a baby, unattended, crawling across the floor. Mounted speakers blared Shambhala-style EDM, there was a table crowded with ravaged grocery store appetizers, and a whole variety of bongs and smoking apparatuses surrounding a trio of leather couches. In the corner was a pile of air filtration tubing, attached to a heavy-looking appliance the size of a dishwasher, but none of it was turned on. Marv was drunkenly circling the party, taking pictures, and wasn’t wearing a shirt. He was scrawny to the point of looking emaciated, and his thin moustache was dusted with white powder. He careened across the room to embrace Caelynn, then fished a joint out from his toque and held it out in my direction.

We lit it.

“Newspaper dude,” he said, taking a toke. “You’ve got a pretty fucking cool job.”

“It’s Will, and this is my partner Paisley.”

“Your partner?”

“I always hated the term ‘girlfriend’, and we’re not married, so…”

“You are fucking beautiful,” Marv said, as he shook her hand. “Don’t mind me, I’m really fucking high right now. I’m actually totally harmless.”

Paisley laughed uncomfortably. “It’s all good. Thanks for having us.”

“It’s not me, man. It’s all Niles. Have you guys met Niles yet?” he asked, his eyes darting. “He organized this whole shindig, he’s the guy. Hey Niles, Niles! Come here, man.”

Niles shook his head apologetically to the people he was standing with, then sauntered over. He was in his early fifties, with a Swayze-esque mane of golden hair, wearing a baby blue suit. His walnut brown tan made his eyes seem supernaturally white, his golden bowtie was comically oversized, and he even kept a chained watch in his side pocket. It almost looked like he was in costume, like he could be tea partying with the Mad Hatter himself.

“The Kootenay Goon,” Niles said. “It’s an honour. I’ve been reading your stuff for months now, wondering when I would get the chance to meet the new shit disturber in town.”

I shook his hand, half-standing from the couch. “Yeah, shit disturber’s about right.”

“And here we have your lady love—Paisley, right?” he said, turning to her. “That was one of the first articles I read by you, Goon, the column you wrote about her. I remember thinking: ‘people should write about love in the newspaper more often’! I thought ‘when was the last time you saw someone fill two pages of a community newspaper with an ode to his girlfriend?’ I find kids think it’s cool to be nonchalant these days, to never emotionally commit to anybody or anything, and I ask you: what ever happened to true romance?”

Niles sunk down on the couch beside us, crossed his legs and began bouncing his foot in the air. Paisley and I shared a quick glance, acknowledging his Shakespearean flamboyance with secret smirks. He took a few tokes from the joint and passed it to Paisley, then draped his elbow on my shoulder. There was an instant familiarity there, a comfort level I wouldn’t typically have with a stranger, and pretty soon our conversation had veered into philosophical territory. He asked me if I believe in pure, unadulterated love. Did it really exist?

I sat forward, tugging at my beard thoughtfully. “For me, there’s just so many things I’ve lost faith in — like I used to be a hyper-Christian teenager and then I ditched on the whole God thing — and love, like human love, is one of the last things I actually believe in, you know?”

“You were a Christian kid?”

“Totally. Worked at a Bible camp in the summers, did missionary trips, the whole deal.”

“And what ended things for you?”

“My youth pastor was arrested for molesting a teenage boy down in Mexico, summer of 2005, during a missions trip. He was a father figure to me, so I started questioning: if I can’t trust him, and he taught me about God, then how can I trust what I know about God?”

“What a funny word, God.”

“I thought you guys would get along,” said Marv, stumbling off. Niles whipped over to a nearby fridge and returned with three beers. We clinked them together and took long pulls as a handful of party-goers began to dance around us. I felt a pleasant heat in my eyeballs. It was starting to get crowded, and loud.

“The vision I have for this place, Goon,” Niles said. “This wouldn’t just be a dispensary. It would be a smoking lounge, a social club … I was thinking maybe massages too, like a spa. Maybe a counsellor, mental health coach, that sort of thing.”

“I’ve heard that there are multiple new ones getting ready to open. The Green Rush, they’re calling it.”

“Yeah, but everyone’s too chickenshit to pull the trigger because they don’t know which way city hall will swing. They let Phil run his club because he keeps things below the radar, but nobody’s really tried strutting out into the light with their balls out yet.”

“Well, except for you.”

He smiled humbly.

“Well, Deb Kozak’s supposed to be more pot-friendly than Dooley,” I said. “That could make a difference in how things go down.”

He sighed. “They’re all the same. All three of them. There was no real choice there. It’s not about their opinions on cannabis, or their public stances or whatever. At the end of the day it’s about the money, and when the time comes they’re going to want their cut. Doesn’t matter who’s sitting in the big seat. They’re all so full of shit.”

He paused for a moment to take a thoughtful pull from his beer, then continued.

“I mean I’ve lived here since 1976, and there’s never been an honest politician in this town. Not once. They’re all lizard-fucking slime bags, all of them dirty in one way or another. You can’t trust a single word they say, remember that. It’s all the same pablum bullshit they’re force-feeding everybody. They say they’re going to act, they have all kinds of pretty words, but what do they actually do? What do they actually accomplish?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

After chatting intensely for twenty minutes, Niles circulated off to the rest of the party and Paisley and I found ourselves awkwardly clutching our half-finished beers. Caelynn pulled up a chair, sat down on it backwards, and we re-started an earlier debate on the moral standing of Jaime Lannister, the Kingslayer. I engaged hard. Paisley put her head on my shoulder and we accepted another joint that was being passed around, sitting comfortable in the rolling fog of bong smoke. My consciousness began to fuzz.

“Oh, I love him,” I heard Paisley say. “What’s his name?”

I tried to locate my partner, distinct amidst the chaos of bodies around me. There were lots of colours. She was down on one knee, laughing, as a German shepherd took happy tongue swipes at her face. Brutus. I looked beyond her to where Snapper stood, leash in hand, wearing a sleeveless jersey that nearly reached his knees. He said something to Paisley, and she said something back, while I tried to maneuver into a standing position. I tried to take a swig of my beer but found it empty. When did that happen?

“Oh, that was tragic,” said Blayne, appearing beside me. She was wearing a bright red jumper, and had her hair braided into pigtails. “You should’ve seen the look of disappointment on your face.”

I smiled. “All these beers keep ending up empty.”

“Funny how that works.”

“I was just heading over to rescue my partner from Snapper before you showed up.”

“Oh, come on. He’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad?” I laughed, and then I doubled over and laughed some more. “Not that bad! Not that bad!” I knew my reaction was disproportionate, maybe nonsensical, but it was just one of those evenings. Blayne had her hand on my shoulder, trying to pull me back under control, and she was laughing now too — but she was laughing at me, laughing.

“You can be kind of an asshole, huh?” she said.

“I’ve made peace with that, yeah.”

“What’s Snapper ever done to you?”

I looked over to where he was chatting with Paisley. I didn’t like how close he was standing to her. She glanced over and made eye contact with me, then looked away again. I’ve never been a particularly possessive boyfriend, but something told me I needed to keep her away from him specifically. I turned to find Blayne blinking up into my face, because I’d failed to answer her.

“He hasn’t done anything to me, I just don’t like his energy.”

“He’s actually a really generous person. You guys could be friends, if you gave him a chance. You’d just have to stop being such a fucking snob.”

“I’m not a snob.”

“No? What are you then?”

Blayne and I sat back down on the couch, still bickering. Dru and Cy were sitting on the couch opposite from us, hand-rolling cigarettes on the coffee table. The music had a pulse, like a heartbeat, and I felt time melt. What was this sensation? I lifted my hands and marvelled at how the blood pulsed into my fingertips. My gaze settled on a dude wearing a psychedelic hoodie, on the sunburst erupting from his armpit. Wow. A woman walked by with a toddler on her hip, her billowing brown hair interlaced with red highlights, beads and little scraps of leather. I wondered what was going on in the minds of these strangers, if they were experiencing a fraction of what I was. This was one more moment, in this interminable line of moments, and who could say if it was any more special than any other? I wondered if anyone else were to tell a story about this moment, would it be different? What were they feeling, what did they see?

The Kootenay Goon

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cnfhumss12a-blog · 5 years

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Down the Rabbit Hole

By Tamara Cloa

Down the rabbit hole, Alice fell into Wonderland - a surreal land full of the peculiar and the unexplored.

I was feeling a bit tired from all the requirements I had to do and the preparations I had to make for my organization’s concert. I almost dozed off in an air-conditioned SUV over the chatter of my friends as my white noise. We were on our way to Binondo - a part of Manila that upto that day still foreign to me. All I heard is that everyone who lives there is Chinese. The good thing though was that I went with my friends - Dana, Keegan, Trisha, Lianne, and Emiliane. And the best part? Trisha’s mom - whom I call “Tita” - offered to be the White Rabbit to our Alice. Otherwise, we would have taken the LRT - which could’ve brought us there earlier by a few minutes. The downside was that taking the LRT did not give the luxury of privacy and convenience as compared to a private car.

I snapped from my daze as I felt the SUV come to a halt. I checked my surroundings to find a BDO Teller Machine, a street sign that said “Paredes”, and an alleyway. Tita said that she wanted us to try a local favourite: Quik Snack. It was at the middle point of the alleyway called Carvajal. This alleyway became the rabbit hole we fell into. Its sides are lined with carts that had towers of fruits like oranges, apples, dragon fruit, watermelons - you name it. Sometimes, there would be a Chinese drug store or two popping up between the fruit carriages. I held on to my belongings. My parents told me that Binondo is a sketchy place full of sketchy characters. Especially at this point, I didn’t want to lose my phone - considering that my mom accidentally paid for my bill ‘til October.

The White Rabbit led us to a cavern of delicious, affordable, and authentic Chinese delicacies - Quik-Snack. We were not met by a birthday tea party where the Mad Hatter and Hare were in attendance. Instead, we were welcomed by a local eatery filled with local diners: women wearing pearls sipping on iced coffee with coffee jelly and ice cream on top; police in uniform awaiting their ordered lunch; elderly men enjoying their solitude with a newspaper at hand, and families sharing a delicious meal together. The aroma of freshly steamed buns and the distinct peanut smell of sate sauce lend a comforting feel to an otherwise hectic ambiance. After a few minutes, I was served a hot plate of mami noodles with beef and sate sauce along with a glass of iced coffee. Soon after, more dishes such as oyster cake, soup noodles, and meat buns followed. I’d say the food was reasonably priced; most of the menu items were priced below 200 pesos.

The amazing food did not distract me from the bits of history that ordained Quik-Snack’s interior. Old Chinese comics and rough sketches filled the posts, while a mural of the establishment’s past decked the walls. The charm that this restaurant has and the warmth it exudes makes one big on Chinese food. I felt like I was back in time - maybe around the 1940s. Filipinos and Chinese people in their Americanos and the like would share the home-like space Quik-Snack had. Probably.

We stepped outside their door and ended up on Ongpin Street.

We felt small compared to the buildings that surrounded us. The hustling and bustling of vehicles and the people did not help at all. The small tend to look up. There was a noticeable contrast between the the style of the then-new metropolitan to the latest high-rise condominiums. Black and white like the opposing sides of a game of chess. Yet unlike chess, there was the presence of a gray area that helps tie both sides together. The traditional-yet-modern feel that the lanterns give to its surrounding area was stunning. It helped remind one that this is Chinatown, and in Chinatown, there are a lot of Chinese drug stores. I’m not entirely sure what to feel about these traditional types of medication, but I guess that’s because I’ve never seen one up close.

One particular store caught my eye. It had a grand facade without even comparing it to the other Chinese pharmas. The outside was reminiscent of either a temple or a traditional royal building. Being someone who never been at a Chinese drug store before, we decided to take a little sneak peek at some of their wares. It was as if we were in the presence of a caterpillar riddler that smokes. There were trays of ingredients that we could not recognize. That was how exotic - or possibly illegal - the herbs/goods were. My parents weren’t joking when they said that Binondo has some sketchy characters. We stayed there long enough to figure out their system. Once a customer tells them of their illness, they crush and mix ingredients into an powder for consumption. Maybe they could put “DRINK ME” or “EAT ME” labels on them.

While talking to the lady-pharmacist, we found out that this was actually a family-run business. She said that they’ve been putting up the shop since the year 1938. During those 81 years of being in business, you’d think that people might have forgotten all about them - considering the presence of modern medicine- yet they haven’t. They still have a steady stream of customers coming to them. Talking to the people there helped to bring the feel of the store back down to earth, but there was still this uneasiness I was feeling just being in there. Was it the smell? Maybe. Did some powder get into the air and messed with my brain? No, hopefully.

We went off to continue our venture, leaving the putrid scent of the store behind.

A block away, we reached a street that was lined with traditional shops. Most had lovely red lanterns hanging outside their storefronts. One shop had endless rows and columns of shelves filled with jars of Chinese treats - none of which I’m familiar with. Tita bought each of us a jar with a label that was in Chinese. It looked like sweet tamarind, but I can’t be too sure. I think my mom bought something similar from Taiwan during one of her trips. I didn’t like the candied-somethings she brought, but I guess I’m willing to give whatever-this-is a try.

Across the street, there was a store that was too cramped for its own good. The goods being sold seemed random too: thick blankets, tea sets, incense, and more. Tita saw the confusion on my face and said, “This is a traditional Chinese wedding shop. I bought my wedding materials here”. I had too many questions in the my head: why do traditional Chinese weddings need these? What do they symbolize? How long has this shop been here? Tita was looking for something, so I had to asked Google instead. Even Google couldn’t fully grasp what they meant.

Around the corner, I noticed a white-walled store that didn’t seem to belong. On its shelves weren’t exotic ingredients, but bottles of medicine from some of the biggest pharmaceutical companies. It was just like any other pharmacy I could find outside of Binondo, but this shows that while tradition is important for the Chinese, they are willing to see things in a modern context. I felt more at ease after seeing this. Maybe not all of the things I hear about Binondo are true. Maybe I could grow to love it.

Beside the pharmacy, there was a shop that sold symbols of luck, fortune, and the like. They had different types of precious stones, statues, and even gourds. When asked, the saleslady explained that the vegetable was used as a charm to keep diseases away. This is one of the things I’ve always wondered about Chinese culture. Why do they rely on stones and charms to help them? I wonder where they got their beliefs from. I could ask Trisha or the saleslady, but that would seem extremely rude. I rather keep those kinds of questions to myself.

We walked a bit more to a bakery along Salazar Street. The place was filled with stacks of siopao, cuapao, hopia, tikoy, bread and other Chinese delicacies. The best part? They made them in-house, which made them special. The smell of freshly-baked goods wafted the air. If they’re trying to get me to buy something using smell, it was working. Being the Filipino, I bought my dad some ube-filled hopia which is his favourite. I got it for around 80 pesos. And as with most Filipino adventures, buying pasalubong signified the end of our journey.

I sat in the rather empty LRT carriage in a daze - as if waking from a dream. Being in Binondo, I kind of forgot that I was still in Manila. I found things I’ve never seen, heard, or known of. Ironically, I was a tourist in my own country. At first, I felt scared and out of touch with Binondo’s ambiance. Maybe one day, I could gather up the courage to gothere alone and explore more what Binondo had to offer, waking from my dream of rumours and growing up to delve deeper - just like Alice. Gallery: https://cnfhumss12a.tumblr.com/tagged/Tamara

#english #Tamara

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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 7 years

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Initial Thoughts--6x21-6x22: The Final Battle, pt. 1

Wow! What a season finale that was, right? I really, really liked it. It did all that a season finale—even a series finale—should. It had action, adventure, romance. It tied up loose ends, finished off the story, had lots of call backs to previous seasons, and ended with the happiest of happy beginnings for everyone. This episode definitely finished the story we’ve loved for the past 6 years, and there’s no doubt that was bittersweet, but today, I’m genuinely feeling more satisfaction and gratitude than sadness.

In this analysis, I’ll be discussing the adventures of the heroes in the Enchanted Forest, the Black Fairy’s curse in Storybrooke, everyone’s happy beginnings, and the new story for season 7 that they introduced. I’m planning on breaking this meta into three parts.

The Enchanted Forest

--I found it really interesting that when the curse hit, the family was sent to Snow and Charming’s castle at the exact spot of their wedding. Throughout the episode, we saw a lot of evidence that the Black Fairy’s curse took everyone directly back to what was happening just before or after the original dark curse. That was a cool way to call back the past.

--I loved how frantic Killian was for Emma from the very moment he woke up. That is a man who will do anything to get home to his wife. (I still get a little thrill at the thought they’re actually married!)

--Such a good moment when Snow White immediately gave the group a hope speech. It’s so iconically her!

--It’s good that the gang didn’t have to wonder what was happening with Emma. Magic mirrors are really quite useful magical inventions!

--Through the little view of Storybrooke in the magic mirror, the gang comes to realize that the final battle isn’t what it seems. Emma won’t be forced to fight a physical battle, according to the Black Fairy’s original plan. The battle is for her belief, for her very soul. Nice twist!

--It’s also a nice twist that Emma’s lack of belief has yet wider implications—it causes all the realms of story to disappear…along with the people living in them. This was an inventive way to really, really raise the stakes.

--I liked that they brought back the mad hatter’s hat. It was a good way for all the lands to come into play, and it was also another call back to the past!

--*shakes head* Really Regina? You’re going to dismiss Killian’s idea without even hearing it just because he doesn’t have magic? Not cool! Still, I love that Killian doesn’t waste time arguing or brooding. He simply walks away, determined to follow up on his plan regardless of what anyone may think. Getting back to Emma is always his number one priority, and he’s not going to let anyone stand in his way.

--I am so, so happy the writers gave us not only a call back to the beanstalk episode, but a Captain Charming adventure on the beanstalk! That was something I never knew I needed. I loved Killian calling Emma his wife. I loved Killian telling David about his first adventure with Emma there on the beanstalk. I love Hook admitting that he was far from heroic back then. I loved Killian’s impassioned speech about how he and Emma have made each other better people, how they were not fated true love but rather fought for their love. I love that David listened, and told Killian he’d help him. Excellent brotp moment there at the bottom of the beanstalk!

--At the top of the beanstalk, the guys decide to explore the table to see if they can find a bean. Both of them want to be the one to undertake the mission in order to protect the other, and here we get my favorite Captain Charming moment of the episode. Killian insists it should be him. Emma may be Charming’s daughter, but she’s his wife. This ends the argument; Charming immediately agrees with his logic, and Killian is confused at his sudden decision to trust their fates to a pirate. Charming says “I’m going to trust my son…in-law.” I love that; so much!

--After retrieving the one remaining magic bean (lol, exactly how many “one remaining” magic beans have there been in this series?), Captain Charming begin their descent, and it’s here that things start getting tricky. With Emma turning farther and farther from belief, the realms of fairy tale are quickly disappearing. This upheaval causes the beanstalk to sway and eventually uproot itself. Scenes of the beanstalk are interspersed with scenes of Emma burning the storybook, and I thought it was an incredibly effective storytelling move.

--I have no idea why, but Killian survives a fall from so far up that there are clouds behind him. He really is a survivor!

--When David falls as well, Snow feels it within herself and knows immediately that something is wrong with him. I loved that! Such a beautiful reminder of their true love as well as reminding the audience of the first season when David felt it within himself when Snow ate the poisoned apple.

--Snow, with the help of Jasmine and her magic carpet, immediately goes after her husband, but comes upon the prone form of her son-in-law instead. This provides a nice little moment of comic relief when Killian calls her “mummy” as soon as he sees her. Captain Charming got an emotional moment in this episode, but Snook’s scene was comic gold.

--I love that Snow insists Killian take the bean and get to Emma. She knows a couple of things: 1. She can’t go; she has to find David and 2. If any of them can make Emma remember who she is, it’s Killian. This was a beautiful moment…but unfortunately the show did not follow up on it. The perfect payoff of that scene would have been to have Killian actually restore Emma’s memories. Quite the missed opportunity.

--Such a beautiful Snowing scene when Snow finally finds Charming. I loved how the scene with Snow giving Charming a TLK was juxtaposed with their first TLK in the pilot. Even the dialog once Charming woke up was similar to that very first Snowing scene. Beautiful!

--What else was beautiful was what Charming said to Snow: “Snow, we’re going to be fine. Darkness never wins; it just fools you into thinking it does.” This is such a beautiful sentiment full of hope!

--I like that we got a chance to see the EQ again. Her story seemed more or less done, but this episode kind of put a bow on it. It makes perfect sense that she and Robin would head out of the Wish World given the danger that was waiting for them there. I also love that she and Robin are growing closer over robbing from the rich to give to the poor. They seem to be slowly but surely helping each other along a path toward redemption.

--I love that the EQ decides to sacrifice herself to stave off the magic to give Regina a little more time to get the magic bean to work and save everyone else. This was a totally selfless move and a great moment of redemption!

--And finally, with Emma making the choice to believe even if she can’t remember, the destruction of the realms comes to an end, and the Enchanted Forest portion of the episode comes to a close.

--Tomorrow, in part 2 if this meta, I’ll discuss what happened in Storybrooke during the Final Battle.

#initial thoughts--6x21-6x22 #6x21-6x22 the final battle #captain charming #snook #evil queen

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ask-the-hatbox-ghost · 7 years

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REALLY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY

RULES: Repost, don’t reblog ! Tag 11 ! Good luck !

TAGGED: By @theheadlessgroom

TAGGING: Hmmm… @hitchhikinghaunts maybe?

BASICS:

FULL NAME: Thomas Ernest Topper

NICKNAMES: The Hatbox Ghost, Hattie

AGE: At least 200. He lost count somewhere down the line.

BIRTHDAY: May the 9th

ETHNIC GROUP: Skeletal Ghost (in life, Caucasian)

NATIONALITY: Resident of the Haunted Mansio (in life, American )

LANGUAGES: English, with a wee bit of French that is much less advanced that he thinks it is;

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Heteroromantic.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: ‘Engaged’ to Emily Cavanaugh Gracey, alias the Beating Heart Bride.

CLASS: Lowerclassish. Technically, he was a haberdasher, but his being related to the Graceys in two different ways (by his mother Annabelle and his bride Emily) kind of muddies the waters a bit.

HOME TOWN: New Orleans, Louisiana

CURRENT HOME: The Haunted Mansion, in Disneyland Park.

PROFESSION: Mortal scarer and Disney icon (hatter in life). Member of the Ghost Council.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

HAIR: Pale grey, long and dishevelled.

EYES: Black on yellowish white (they were almost the same in life, but dark brown rather than outright black).

NOSE: Large and slightly hooked in life, Hattie’s noise is now nothing but a memory.

FACE: Very angular.

LIPS: He basically doesn’t have any.

COMPLEXION: Used to be a pale grey until the Ghost Host decided to repaint him green for some reason. (In life, pale, but not sickly so)

SCARS: It’s tough to determine whether the cut on his neck can be called a scar, inasmuch as his head isn’t attached to his body at all and he just holds it in place thanks to spiritual energy most of the time.

HEIGHT: Refuses to be measured.

WEIGHT: Very light, but bathroom scales weren’t exactly common when he was alive, and determining a ghost’s mass is the same as trying to weigh a hologram.

BUILD: Thin and bony with a hunch.

FEATURES: Bony frame, skull-like head surrounded by messy hair, large round eyes and a grin bigger than a Cheshire Cat’s.

ALLERGIES: Constance Hatchaway.

USUAL HAIR STYLE: Dishevelled and long, hanging on both sides of his face.

USUAL CLOTHING: A black cape with so high a collar that it would make Dracula jealous, a dark grey vest with four circular buttons with a dark shirt underneath, tight grey pants and featureless leather shoes.

PSYCHOLOGY:

FEARS: Fears banishment, obviously. He also has an irrational fear of geese, for some inscrutable reason, but the case rarely presents itself. Like many spirits in the Mansion, Hattie would also freak out if he saw the One-Eyed Black Cat roaming free, but let’s be honest, who wouldn’t?

ASPIRATIONS: Kick Constance out of his Attic, reinstall his bride in her place, and become the Ghost Host.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Intelligent, talented, loyal, generous (when nobody’s looking).

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Grumpy, megalomaniac.

TEMPERAMENT: Prone to frequent mood-swings.

SOUL TYPE: The Hunter

VICE HABITS: Prone to overwork himself badly.

FAITH: Used to be a Christian, but (due to being so full of himself he literally couldn’t imagine being sent anywhere else than Heaven) his beliefs were thoroughly shattered by becoming a ghost.

GHOSTS: Well, what do you think.

AFTERLIFE: Obviously, denying the existence of a beyond when you’re undead yourself would be rather stupid. Though he’s not sure there’s anything else than becoming a ghost, contrary to some ghosts who think there is a Heaven that only a select few can reach, distinct from the ghosts’ fate.

REINCARNATION: Madame Leota dismisses the notion as superstition. Hattie may not like her very much, but when Necromancy is concerned, he’s not going to go against Leota’s expertise.

ALIENS: He doesn’t really understand the concept, much less has any clear opinion on the matter.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: He didn’t care for politics as a mortal. As a happy haunt, he sided with the Graceys during the War agains the One-Eyed Black Cat, in the 1950′s, but now would very much like to become the Ghost Host.

ECONOMIC PREFERENCES: Hattie would very much like to have a fortune in gold.

EDUCATION LEVEL: Hard to tell. Hattie knows a lot of things, but a lot of it is wrong and he’s too stubborn to change his mind about any of it. He mostly learnt them on his own.

FAMILY:

FATHER: Gregorius Topper, a stern hatter who, in death, has become even more of a stickler for traditional ghosting than Hattie himself. And that’s saying something.

MOTHER: Annabelle Gracey, an aunt of the Ghost Host. Very sweet. Unfortunately does not appear to have become a ghost, though Hattie hasn’t lost hope that she’ll turn up one day.

SIBLINGS: He’s unfortunately stuck with his brother Ezra Topper, who loathed his father so much he changed his name to Beane and hitchhiked his way out of New-Orleans the day after Gregorius died.

EXTENDED FAMILY: Hattie is sometimes visited by his first cousin Reginald, alias the Mad Hatter. He is also related to all the Graceys, though the Graceys themselvs didn’t remember that until after leaving their corruptible mortal state; the Ghost Host is his first cousin, and Emily is actually his first cousin’s daughter.

FAVOURITES:

BOOK: His own autobiography (which is still in progress).

MOVIE: He never forgave cinematography on the whole for never devoting a movie to him, and has refused to see any film ever since, with the exception of Disney cartoons (the Imagineers celebrated the Mansion’s arrival by organizing a ghost-only screening of all Disney movies since Snow White for the Happy Haunts, and Hattie was talked into going by Emily).

DEITY: Frankly, Hattie would declare himself a deity if the Statue fo Spectral Secrecy didn’t prevent him from doing so.

HOLIDAY: He would have said Halloween, if not for the fact that since his return, he has to associate it with the Mansion being invaded by the Halloween Town crew and having to share the attic with a giant snake.

MONTH: May, due to being the date of his birthday and of his return to the Mansion in 2015.

SEASON: Autumn, probably. He never gave it much thought.

PLACE: Either his Attic or the Endless Staircases.

WEATHER: He likes the rain, as soon as he hears it drumming on his roof, rather than on his head.

SOUND: Emily’s voice.

SCENT: Roses, old leather, wax.

FEELS: Hugging Emily.

ANIMALS: He has a group of pet bats, whom he used to make little hats for. The hats had to be tight fits, lest they fall when his little friends hung upside down, so it was excellent practice.

NUMBER: What kind of an odd question is that?

COLOR: He’s most comfortable with brown or grey, but due to being “Emily’s color”, pure white has positive mental associations with him as well.

EXTRA:

TALENTS: Hat-making, mostly.

BAD AT: Dancing, unfortunately for Emily’s feet.

HOBBIES: Writing (he has been writing his own autobiography for decades, and he obviously has this very tumblr); lobbying to become the Ghost Host.

FC INFO:

VOICE CLAIMS: My own voicework on Hattie, mostly. The voice I use is a mix of French actor Roger Carel’s voice, and Scar’s voice in the Lion King musical. I know, it seems a bit random, but it fits oddly well.

MUN QUESTION:

Q1: If you could write your character your way in their own movie , what would it be called , what style would it be filmed in , and what would it be about ?

A1: More than a single movie, I’d love a series of animated films based on the Haunted Mansion — not quite feature-length, but about 30 minutes-long each. I’d see no reason to call it anything else than The Haunted Mansion. The animation would be classical 2D animation, ideally based on @officialhappyhaunt and @whatwouldwaltdo’s drawing styles. They could progress from the backstories of various characters to the War of the One-Eyed Black Cat, Opening Day, the Hatbox Ghost’s banishment and finally to the ‘Present Day’ where all sorts of hijinx can take place.

Q2: What would the score sound like ?

A2: An orchestral soundtrack in the style of Phantom Manor, flirting between grand and moving pieces to jazzy, cartoonish one. There could obviously be songs.

Q3: Why did you start writing this character?

A3: I absolutely loved @officialhappyhaunt ‘s Hatbox Ghost comics on DeviantArt. When I came to tumblr, I discovered that the existing Hatbox Ghost blog, @askthehatboxghost, while very good, used a completely different characterization from the grumpy old Hattie I’d come to love from these comics. So I started this blog.

Q4: What first attracted you to this character?

A4: Mostly his hilarious personality.

Q5: What is the main thing you dislike about your muse?

A5: I don’t really like the new color scheme Disney gave him in 2015.

Q6: What do you have in common with your muse?

A6: I share some of his artistic and culinary tastes (it’d be fairer to say I gave them to him) and a general dislike for change and modernization.

Q7: How would your muse feel about you?

A7: Not sure, he’d probably be happy to see a dedicated fan in me, then move on to more interesting things, such as hats.

Q8: What character does your muse have interesting interactions with?

A8: Everyone. Of course, he’s at his funniest when trying to bother Constance, I think.

Q9: What gives you inspiration to write your muse?

A9: That’s… kind of redundant with Question 3, I think.

Q10: How long did this take you to complete?

A10: Oops, didn’t record my time. Long enough.

#macabre memes

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tessatechaitea · 7 years

Text

Batman #17

Is Finch afraid that if he looks too closely at a male mouth for reference purposes, he might become gay?

You know that feeling when you've just finished writing a novel and printing it up so you delete the file on the computer so it can't be stolen and then go to your printer and get the pages and accidentally throw them in the wastebasket nearby that's still on fire? I hate that feeling. I find myself checking in on Twitter far more than I ever have before since the election. Mostly because the few people I follow are liberal which means they know how to create funny jokes. It must suck to be a conservative if you like to laugh because mostly when you laugh at jokes conservatives like Huckabee tweet, you're only laughing because in that way that screams, "This isn't an actual physical reaction to something funny but an acknowledgment that I completely and utterly agree with the words you strung together in just the right kind of way that I could tell it was supposed to be a funny joke. Err, ha ha!" That's not to say all heathen liberal atheist monsters are funny! Here's a good example of the big fat colored-in part of the pie chart of Twitter (as opposed to the little splinter that represents people being creative and unique and hilarious):

"Hey! Look at this headline that makes a point! Now read my tweet where I restate the point, just in case you were too stupid to understand it. Although my restating of the point is almost exactly the same as the point in the headline so if you didn't understand that, I suppose you won't understand this tweet. So you're probably thinking, 'Why was this tweet needed?', right? Fuck you. I'm hilarious at hot takes that were already made!"

Anyway, that's most of Twitter. People tagging jokes by making the same joke yet less subtly. I'm not sure why people ever expand a tweet to read the replies because conversation on twitter is like going out to the dog park and comparing the taste of the various dog dirt you find lying in the grass. You might be wondering, "Is this a review of Batman or Twitter?" If you are, you shouldn't limit your life experiences. Sometimes when you plan to do something and the plan falls apart because the person lied about the plans (like, say, you wanted to read a Batman #17 review and instead got a review of Twitter), you should not think, "Well, this is crap!" You should instead embrace this life detour and think, "The person who lied to me and wasted my time is probably a super cool person who has had so much sex, how can I be mad?" Now that we've established my credentials of being super cool and having had so much sex I can hardly feel my crotch due to nerve damage, let's get to Batman! When we last left Batman, he and Alfred had just walked into the Batcave where Dick, Damian, and the Dumb One were hanging by their necks with a three word message painted on their chests, one word on each dead kid: Am I Bane? So they're probably dead. This issue will probably start with a funeral but then it will turn out not to be the funeral of these dead Robins but the other one. Nope. It doesn't begin that way at all. I guess I'm not as good at writing comic books as I am at playing Tracer on Overwatch. Lately when I play, I begin as McCree because come on! Gunfighter! Even if his ultimate almost always fails, the times it doesn't make me call my mother to tell her how much I probably love her (in theory). But if I'm doing poorly as McCree, I'll switch to Tracer and then the other team is all, "What the fuck just happened? What has changed? Why are we dying all the time?! Who let this lesbian punk rock maniac out of her cage?! And why won't she stop calling me a wanker when I die?!" Then they call their mother to tell her she's a fucking whore. Oh! Sorry! This was supposed to be about Batman! So, um, this issue begins in a hotel with Bronze Tiger ordering a shotgun blast to the stomach from Room Service. I wonder how much that set him back? That's just some kind of prologue to get everybody's genital juices flowing. Maybe that was inappropriate to the people reading this blog who don't find violence sexually alluring. The real beginning (Oh! I just watched the fourth episode of Season Two's Little House on the Prairie and it was called "In the Big Inning". Get it?! So clever!) begins in the Fortress of Solitude (located either in the Arctic or the Antarctic, depending on which dumb writer is currently writing). Apparently Dick, Damian, and the Dumb One didn't die (just as I predicted! Who else would have predicted that? Not you dum-dum comic book readers!). They just lost consciousness which allowed Batman to fly them all up to the Fortress of Solitude where Superman has some cryogenic chambers lying around. He threw them all in and has now asked Batman to babysit them while he goes after Bane. Why would he call Superman? Wasn't Supergirl given the Fortress? Preboot Superman has his own Fortress in the Himalayas. Having three kids stuck in freezers will seriously hamper Supergirl's social life. How creepy will it be fucking that Ben kid in the Fortress with their dead faces staring at Supergirl's naked bum going up and down and up and down and maybe sideways? Do butts go sideways when people do it? Alfred Pennyworth busies himself with Gotham Girl's therapy. Disguised as Jeremiah Arkham (who was recently shot in the face), he sneaks Gotham Girl into the most isolated wing of Arkham where Psycho Pirate is being kept. He has to keep her safe for the next four days while Batman hunts down Bane. Bane is Batman's most dangerous foe! At least for this story since Bane is the antagonist of this story. Next story arc, the most dangerous foe might be Penguin or Mad Hatter or Kite-man. If not for his terrible ability to draw the lips of men, I would have forgotten David Finch was doing the art for this issue. But I would have quickly been reminded when I turned the page and discovered a double splash page of Batman on a rooftop saying, "I have mine." Mr. King and Mr. Finch, I would like to not commend you on your use of comic book pages. What was so dynamic about that shot of Batman that it needed to waste two full pages of story? He's simply brooding on a roof with a clock tower in the background. We've seen this shot millions of times in Batman comic books over the years. Making it larger doesn't make it more compelling. Later, Room Service decides to head out of the hotel to shoot Catwoman.

What does Room Service have against characters with feline names? Jerko.

Room Service goes after Jim Gordon next. I don't get it. How is the name "Commissioner James Gordon" in any way catlike? Because he doesn't have a cat name, James Gordon doesn't wind up getting shot. He shoots Room Service and Room Service's friends, Housekeeping and Night Clerk. With the help of Duke, Batman's unnamed sidekick (although people keep telling me his name is Lark because of a dumb vision in Batman #35. I refuse to call him Lark until he's actually called Lark because it's a dumb name that evokes a sense of flippancy that Batman would never allow), Gordon survives the onslaught. But then Bane crashes through the wall like the Kool-Aid man on bath salts and the scene ends. The episode ends with Batman still hunched on the roof where he had his double splash appearance. Across the way, Bane is on another rooftop with all of his captives: gutshot Bronze Tiger, backshot Catwoman, severely beaten Commissioner Gordon, and was supposed to stay out of this Duke Thomas. I guess it's time for Batman to beat the shit out of Bane. Although, I suppose what this story has been hinting at, is that Bane is more dangerous suffering through the withdrawals of Venom (which, I guess, never end unless you have a Psycho Pirate to comfort you?) than he is on the drug. I don't know. I get that Bane broke Batman's back so he's supposed to be Batman's Doomsday. But to me, Bane is just as boring as Doomsday. He's a big, beefy beatdown machine and that's about it. I will admit, if you're going to argue because you're so in love with Bane that you probably pretend to suck his dick before falling asleep every night, that he has a little bit more character. He wears a luchador mask and is some kind of ethnic and, I suppose, he's also intelligent or something. Plus he has so many mental health issues because he was born inside a prison to somebody serving a life sentence which, apparently, means you have to live out the life sentence too. That's...well, I was going to say clever but that's the entirely wrong word, isn't it? It's not clever at all! It's the epitome of comic book nonsense! Like Dick Grayson driving a motorcycles straight up a wall! Doomsday's background of having been killed and reborn over and over again to make him immune to death is a more believable origin story! The Ranking! No change!

#Batman #DC Comics #Tom King #David Finch #Bane #Danny Miki #Jordie Bellaire #Catwoman

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