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atlafan · 3 years

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Burning Love - Part Three

a/n: the third and final part of this little series is here! I hope you enjoy! Feedback and reblogs are helpful! Support me here if you’re able! (not proofread)

Warnings: cocky!Harry flirting, a tiny bit of angst, fluff, and smut!

Words: 8K

Pairing: Harry x OC (kindergarten teacher Danielle Robinson)

Masterpost

Having a firefighter as a boyfriend was anything but boring. Sometimes Harry was called away in the middle of the night for backup, sometimes he had to straight up sleep at the fire house if someone was on vacation, and sometimes he was cooking up a storm so the guys coming back from a fire had plenty to eat. Danielle would sometimes help cook as well. The guys really liked her turkey chili.

Danielle’s classroom knew who her boyfriend was too, and they loved it when Harry would come by for a visit. He’d bring them little coloring books, or sometimes he’d get Doodle to come for an even better surprise visit.

When they were together three months, Harry made sure no one was in the fire house so she could come to his office, and he gave her a little strip tease. She had practically been begging him to play the part of the sexy fire fighter and he was finally doing it for her. The only condition was that he got to bend her over his desk and fuck her. She even let him hit it raw, it was the greatest mutual gift in the world. Also hearing her moan out, “You’re hitting it so good, don’t stop, Harry!” over and over was pretty nice too.

Yup, things had been going pretty well for the new couple. Even though they were still in the puppy-love phase, it wasn’t all sex all the time. Harry would sometimes come over and help her late into the night as she was crafting activities for her class the next day, or he’d go to the art supply store with her because Danielle never made a list and she would often forget at least one thing she needed for class. Harry always remembered what she’d forget. Danielle was also a big help with the fire department’s fundraising efforts. She made the best hash browns anyone had ever had at the monthly pancake breakfasts. The deputy fire chief even got them a matching set of aprons. Things were going so well that she even started to let him call her Dani.

One Sunday afternoon they were walking through the grocery store together. Harry liked pushing the cart for Danielle as she mumbled to herself about what she needed for the week. She liked that he joined her because he could pick out the snacks he wanted to leave at her place, and vice versa. They were walking down the coffee aisle, Harry liked Hazelnut and Danielle liked French Vanilla.

“Dani?”

Danielle looks over in the direction of the deep voice that said her name. Her eyes widen when she realizes it’s her ex, Oliver.

“O-Oliver?”

“Oh my god, it’s so good to see you!” He exclaims, throwing his arms around her. She doesn’t reciprocate. “It’s been what, three years?”

“Something like that.” She swallows, and hooks her arm around Harry’s waist. “This is my boyfriend, Harry.”

“Hi.” Oliver shakes Harry’s hand. “You shop here a lot?”

“Yeah…this is the grocery store closest to my apartment, why?”

“This is my first time as this specific store. My fiancé lives in the area, and we’re choosing to buy a house here so her son won’t have to switch elementary schools.”

“Her…her son?” Danielle wanted to smack him.

“Yeah, guess he’s like my son now too.”

“Olly? Did you find the decaf tea?” A woman long blond hair, and a slightly swollen belly comes rolling her cart down the aisle with a little boy sitting in it. “Oh…Danielle…hi.”

“Hi, Rory.”

“Miss Robinson!” The boy exclaims.

“Hello, Joey.” She tries to say with a smile. Danielle wasn’t sure how she could have been so stupid. Joey took the bus to and from school, and she had only ever spoken with his father. She also didn’t make a second glance at his mother’s name on his contact list since it was under Lorelei.

“Joey raves about you all the time.” Rory says, trying to cut some of the tension.

“Mumma, it’s Chief Harry!”

“Aw, nice of you to remember me, buddy.” Harry says. “Um, we’ve got frozen stuff in the cart, so we should probably get going, right, darling?” He says, looking at Danielle, and she feels thankful for him finding a way out of all this.

“He’s right, we should really get going.”

“Guess we’ll be seeing more of each other, huh, Dani?” Oliver says with a soft smile.

“So it would seem.” She looks at Joey. “See you tomorrow morning in class, Joey.”

Harry pushes the cart as they walk away. She was beyond mortified. They get in line and pay for their things. She had driven there, but she has Harry drive back to her place. She was quiet until they got inside her apartment to put the food away.

“He, uh, seemed a little delusional there, no?” Harry says.

“He’s always lived with his head in the sand.” She scoffs. “Rose colored glasses, you know?”

“Did you not know that-“

“No, I didn’t realize that Rory, the person he cheated on me with, had a son. I knew that she was a married woman. They got divorced because of Oliver.” She shakes her head. “Joey’s father is such a sweet man, I can’t believe I never put the pieces together.”

“How exactly did they meet?”

“The first school I worked at was a K-5 a few towns over. Rory was the principal’s secretary, she still is, I think. I brought Oliver with me to a holiday party, and they got to talking. She’s a couple of years older than he and I are. I don’t exactly know how things progressed from there, but apparently she’s pregnant with his kid, they’re engaged, and they’ve bought a house! Isn’t that just kick you in the crotch, spit on your neck fantastic?”

“Remind me to never watch Friends reruns with you again.” He chuckles. “I can’t believe he had the nerve to hug you like that?”

“He hugged me like that because he’s still in love with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Until I blocked him on literally every platform that I could, he would send me these messages about how he fucked up and that he’d do anything to win me back. He’s in a loveless relationship. He’s made his bed and now he has to lay in it.”

“Does Rory know it’s a loveless relationship?”

“I doubt it. If I had to guess they probably got engaged after they found out she was pregnant. It was probably her way of trapping him.” Danielle rolls her eyes. “You know what they say, once a cheater, always a cheater.”

“Well,” he comes around her to hold her from behind, kissing her cheek, “you don’t have to worry about that or pay it any more thoughts, alright?”

“Yeah.” She smiles and turns to kiss him. “I just hope I don’t start running into them all the time now.”

“We could always go to the market near my place, or we could do the online order thing.” He shrugs. “Whatever you wanna do. I just don’t want that idiot making my baby upset.” He pouts at her and she pouts back.

“I love that I get to be your baby.” She sighs as she nuzzles into his chest.

“Me too…I…I love you, Dani.” He kisses her forehead before she looks up at him.

“You do?”

“Mhm.” He smiles. “Guess there’s no perfect time to really say it, but that’s how I feel.”

“Oh, Harry, I love you too.” She kisses him, and blinks some tears away. “Like, a lot.”

“Let’s get these groceries put away, hm? Then I’ll fuck you on the counter. Would you like that, sweetheart?”

“I would, very much so.” She chuckles.

It was the last day of school, so Danielle had both of her groups in the morning. There was a small ceremony for the kindergarteners to commemorate them being able to move on to the first grade. They each got a personalized certificate with some type of achievement they earned in Miss Robinson’s class. She spent two weeks working on them. Once it was over, Danielle had to clean up her classroom for the summer.

“Happy last day of school, babe.” Harry says as he walks in, holding a small bouquet of flowers.

“I think you should ask for a separate office here with how often you come to visit.” She jokes as she takes the flowers. “Not that I’m upset, but what are these for?” She smiles.

“You made it through another year with a group of five-year-olds, thought you should have something nice for it.”

“Well, that’s very thoughtful, thank you.” She kisses his cheek. “I’m just finishing up here and then we can grab lunch.”

Harry nods as he waits for her, helping her take a few boxes out to her car. He thought she looked gorgeous today in her light blue sundress. They enjoy their lunch together before Harry has to go back to work.

“Wanna come to my place tonight?” She asks before they part ways.

“Sure.” He pecks her lips. “Want me to bring dinner?”

“No, I can cook. I’ve got stuff to make a taco salad.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later.” They kiss again and off they go.

Things had gotten quite domestic with one another, and Harry was really starting to like it. He also really liked that she was about to be off for the entire summer. Sure, Harry had bonfires, lawn mowers, grills, and other things of that nature to worry about, but his group of volunteer fire fighters would be coming on once again, so it freed up a little more time for himself. He’d be able to take a vacation with Danielle if she wanted. Or he could just take a ton of long weekends so he could spend some time with her. He wasn’t exactly sure what she did over the summer, but he figures they’ll talk about it soon.

When Harry gets to her apartment later that night, he realizes soon means tonight. Danielle was running around her apartment in a tank top and shorts boxing things up and packing.

“Hey, uh, what are you doing?” He says, startling her.

“Oh! I didn’t even hear you come in!” She gasps and clutches at her chest. “Sorry, I’m just trying to get my shit together. I always save this stuff for the last minute.”

“Are you moving?” He asks, almost frantic.

“What? No.” She chuckles. “But I do need a lot of my things with me for when I go up to Seabrook.”

“Seabrook?”

“To my parents’ summer house. I told you they had one, they’re snowbirds, remember?”

“Yeah, you mentioned that…” He swallows. “Are you going for a long weekend?”

“No, I’m going for the majority of the summer. I was actually sort of hoping you’d be able to water some of my plants, but if you can’t I can ask the neighbor again.” She goes over to him and gives him a kiss. “Come on, I set dinner up in the kitchen for us.”

They both go into the kitchen and sit down with their taco salads.

“You’re sort of blindsiding me a bit, babe. I mean, you’ve known you were going to New Hampshire all this time and didn’t think to tell me?”

“I figured I’d come back on weekends.” She shrugs. “You’re going to be working all day, so I figured you wouldn’t really mind if I wasn’t around as much.” She takes a bite of her food. “I also thought maybe you could come up and visit…you know, meet my family.”

“It’s gonna be torturing not being able to come over and see you after work.” He pouts. “But of course I’d love to meet your family.”

“I know…that’s sort of why I was keeping it to myself. I’ll miss you just the same, I hope you know that. This is just really precious family time that I wait all year for.”

“I get it.” He sighs. “What weekend would you want me to come meet them?”

“I’ll have to ask my parents what weekend would work best for them. The first couple of weeks are spent catching up with their friends, and whatnot. The house is in a fifty-five and over community.”

“And you won’t mind driving back on weekends?”

“Not at all.” She shakes her head. “All of the traffic will be going the other way, and the beaches are always so crowded on the weekends. It’ll be perfect.” She smiles at him and leans in a bit. “Plus, I’ll be coming back to you with sun kissed skin. I’ll have lots of tan lines to show you.” She winks and it makes him chuckle.

“Alright, alright. I get to use more time off in the summer, so I’ll be able to take lots of long weekends. We have more of a crew because a lot of our volunteers are teachers, so they have more time to help out.”

“That’s good! I’m so happy the school year is over with. Did you see I put the flowers you got me in a vase?” She points over to the vase in her kitchen window.

“I did.” He nods, a smile growing on his lips. “M’glad you liked them.”

“I loved them.” She kisses his cheek. “You’re so sweet to me, Harry.”

“You’ve turned me into a total mush ball.” He sighs. “But I suppose that’s not a bad thing.”

“You were a mush ball the second you walked into my classroom for the first time.” She smirks.

“And you were a flustered little thing.” He smirks as her face falls. “Ah, she can dish it out, but she can’t take it.” He kisses her temple and takes their now empty plates to the sink. “When are you heading up?”

“A couple of days.” She sighs. “I hate packing so much, it’s the worst.” She groans. “I just keep telling myself I’ll be relaxing on a screened in porch soaking in the ocean breeze with a book in my hand before I know it.” She flops down onto her sofa and Harry sits next to her, rubbing her back. “At least I’ll see my niece and nephew soon too. I love getting to spend so much time with them.”

“Tell me about them, I wanna know as much about your family as I can before I meet them.”

“Really?” She sits up to look at them.

“Mhm.” He puts a pillow on his lap. “Come lay one me. I’ll play with your hair while you talk.”

“If I didn’t love you before.” She giggles, and rests her head in his lap. He starts scratching at her scalp and she sighs. “Okay, so, my dad…”

They both fell asleep on the couch that night talking. Harry told Danielle a lot about his family as well. In the wee hours of the morning, Harry carried her to the bed, and they both snuggled up while they got a few more hours of sleep.

“Danielle, it’s the middle of the night! Where are you going?!” Her brother Clark asks her in a panic. “Shit, are you crying?”

“I…I just got a call.” She sniffles as she throws her hoody on. “I have to get home.”

“Why, what’s happening.”

“H-Harry’s deputy chief called me…there was a really big fire a few hours ago, and a wall collapsed on him, and now he’s in the hospital.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks. “I have to get home to him, Clark, I need to be there when he wakes up.”

“You’re in no condition to drive, especially not for two hours. I’ll go with you. Let me just go to Isabelle.”

“You don’t have to do that, I’m fine.” She wipes her eyes. “I’ll let you know when I get there. I’ll be back in a few days, I’m sure of it.”

She rushes out of the house and gets into the car. She had the radio practically silent, and she was sucking down an iced coffee. Caffeine put her anxiety into hyper drive, but she needed to stay awake somehow. Harry wasn’t even supposed to be at that fire. He got called in as backup, but he wasn’t supposed to go inside. He went in looking for the family’s new puppy.

Once she gets to the hospital, probably looking like a mad woman in her pajama pants and oversized hoody, she checks in and asks where Harry’s being kept.

“Please, I’m his girlfriend, I need to-“

“Dani!” The deputy chief, Ralph, comes rushing towards her. “He just woke up, come with me.” He yanks her by the wrist before the nurse at the desk can say anything.

“Is he okay?”

“He will be.” Ralph nods. “Here we are, go ahead in. Take your time with him.” Ralph smiles, and Danielle returns it.

“Harry?” She says just above a whisper.

“Hey, baby.” He gives her a soft smile. “What are you doing here?”

“I hopped in my car a second after Ralph called me. I was so worried.” She sits on the edge of his hospital bed.

“I’m okay, sweetheart, just a few scrapes and bruises.”

“Harry…your arm’s in a sling.”

“Just a sprained wrist, it’ll heal up real soon.”

“How can you be so calm about this?” She asks as she curls up next to him. He throws his arm around her and sighs.

“Because if I let every little accident scare me, I wouldn’t be able to do my job properly. This is what I signed up for, babe.”

“Did you at least find the puppy?”

“I did, shielded the poor thing from the wall that collapsed on me. M’gonna have to go on light duty for a while.”

“Which means what exactly?”

“Lots of administrative work…that I can do remotely. So, I was thinking…maybe I could come up to Seabrook with you for a little longer than a weekend.”

“I’d love that! We can drive back up together. Everyone’s excited to meet you.”

“I’m excited to meet them too.”

After Harry rested up for a few days at home, with Danielle doting on him even though he told her she didn’t need to, the two drive up north together.

“Auntie Dani’s back!” Sarah exclaims as she bursts out of the porch.

“Sarah!” Isabelle yells after her. “We don’t run out of the house, no matter how excited we are to see Auntie.” She picks her daughter up. “Sorry, Dani.” Isabelle chuckles.

“No worries.” Danielle laughs. “This is my boyfriend, Harry. Harry, this is my sister-in-law Isabelle.”

“Hi.” Harry says, and Isabelle gasps when she sees his arm in a sling. “Just a sprained wrist, m’fine.” “It’s nice to meet you. This must be Sarah, yeah?”

“Hello.” The little girl smiles.

“Come on, everyone’s inside getting ready to head down to the beach.” Isabelle says.

Harry and Danielle follow inside. She takes him into the kitchen where her parents, Robert and Donna were finishing up their coffee.

“Dani!” Donna smiles. “How was the ride back up?”

“Fine, not a lot of traffic once we were out of the city.” She smiles. “This is Harry.”

“The hero that saved the puppy!” Robert says.

“I’m no hero, just did my job. It’s nice to meet you both. Thank you for inviting me to your home.” He shakes both of their hands.

“Are you kidding? We were over the moon when Dani said she’d be bringing a boyfriend with her.” Donna says. “Honey, why don’t you help Harry get settled and then meet us down at the beach?”

“Okay.” Danielle nods.

The two bring their things inside while everyone else makes their way to the beach. Danielle helps Harry put his clothes away in the dresser.

“So…are we alone right now?” Harry asks casually after putting his things away in the bathroom.

“Um, yeah. Everyone went down to set up at the beach, why?”

“Well…” He sits down on the bed and tugs her to sit on his lap, straddling her. “I haven’t been able to do much the last few days, and I’d like to make up for it.”

“Harry.” Her face flushes. “I can’t just fuck you here.”

“In the privacy of a bedroom? Here I was thinking this would be the perfect place.” He rolls his eyes.

“I just…” She bites her bottom lip. Before she can say anything when she opens her mouth again, he’s kissing her. “Fuck, okay, but we have to be quick. And no leaving marks, I don’t need to feel like a teenager at the age of twenty-seven.”

“How about no marks in any visible places?”

“Harry, I’m gonna be wearing a two piece, a lot is going to be visible.”

“Your ass?”

She whimpers softly and kisses him again. They both fall back on the bed, careful not to hurt his wrist. Danielle ended up riding his dick since he couldn’t really prop himself up with hands at the moment, but neither of them minded. It was a much-needed release for the both of them. Once they’re both cleaned up, they change into their bathing suits and go down to the beach to join her family.

“Auntie Dani, do you wanna dig a moat with me?” Ryan asks her the second she sets her things down.

“Sure! Just let me get some sunscreen on, okay?”

“You’re already looking a little red.” Clark remarks, and she glares at him. “Nice to meet you, Harry.”

“Same to you.” Harry says as he sits down in his beach chair.

Danielle peels her coverup off, and lathers up in sunscreen before grabbing a sand toy to help Ryan dig a moat. Isabelle was down by the water with Sarah.

“Harry, do you like seafood?” Donna asks him.

“I do.” He nods.

“Wonderful, I thought it would be nice to go out to eat since you’re here with us now. Celebrate having a full house and whatnot.”

“Oh, well…that sounds nice, thanks.” Harry smiles at her.

“I hope you won’t be too miserable working from inside the house…there’s no central air or anything.” Robert says.

“Oh, it’s not a problem. Heat doesn’t exactly bother me.” He smirks, and Danielle flicks some sand at him. “Oi, what was that for?!”

“No fire fighter jokes or puns.” She points a finger at him warningly. “We’re on vacation.”

“Come on, that was a good one, admit it.”

“I will do no such thing.” She looks at her parents who were chuckling at the exchange. “Don’t encourage him, it’ll only make it worse.”

“Anyways,” he side eyes her and then looks back at her parents, “I’ll probably just set up on the porch when I need to hop onto email. My deputy chief is taking on a bit more for me for the next couple of weeks.”

Harry never really saw himself being a dad someday, but as the day went on, and he watched Danielle interact with Sarah and Ryan, he suddenly understood why women would get baby fever seeing a man hold a baby. He may have only been with Danielle for five months, but fuck…he wanted to be the father of her kids. Yes, he got to spend an entire week with her and her classroom, but it’s not like he got to witness her loving on any of the kids. The way she cradled four-year-old Sarah to her chest as she napped, or splashed around in the water with Ryan, well, if he had ovaries they’d be bursting.

Seeing her help them at dinner was just as cute too. Sarah insisted that her booster chair be places next to Danielle, and Danielle ended up helping cut up Sarah’s chicken fingers. Then Harry got to witness Danielle tucking Sarah and Ryan in for the night to give Clark and Isabelle a break.

The two decide to turn in a bit early since it had been a long day. Danielle was sitting up in bed reading her romance novel. Harry was reading the same one. They had formed a little book club with another once they found out they liked the same genre of fiction.

“Dani?” He says to her.

“Hm?” She says without looking at him.

“Do you think you wanna have kids of your own one day? Or are your kindergartners enough kids for you?”

She immediately closes her book and looks at him. She was a little shocked.

“I…I always thought if I met the right person then I’d want to have kids. Like, turning that love into something physical, you know? What’s got you asking me about kids all of a sudden?”

“In all honesty…watching you with Ryan and Sarah today sort of sparked my interest. You’re so good with them in so many different ways. I…I mean I never really thought twice about having kids, but if you and I decide this is a long term thing…I’d love to be the person you have kids with.”

“Thought you didn’t like playing the what if game.” She leans in and pecks his lips.

“I don’t.”

“Okay, so, it’s not an if with us, Harry, it’s a when.”

He smiles and kisses her tenderly.

“You’re the love of my life, you know that?” He says against her lips before kissing her again.

The school year was just about to start again. Classes would begin just after Labor Day. How were Harry and Danielle spending their long weekend? Well, she was currently bouncing up and down on his dick reverse-cowgirl on her couch while he sucked a nasty bruise into her neck, rubbing her clit with one hand, and kneading one of her breasts with the other. She felt like she was drooling from how good everything felt. The two of them had both tanned nicely over the summer, and now they Danielle was fully back in her apartment, Harry was taking full advantage.

“Fuck, fuck!” She pants. Harry was thrusting up into her, pounding against her g-spot.

It was how she liked it, she didn’t care if she was sore later, and he was happy to give it to her like this. She turns her head slightly and she licks into his mouth to suck on his tongue. He replaces his tongue in her mouth with two of his fingers, which she was happy to suck on while his fingers continued to work her clit. They had been together for a while now, and sometimes when you were a little older, time didn’t make much of a difference when you were trying to check off certain boxes with the person you loved most. So, Harry just blurts out what he’s thinking.

“I think we should move in together.” He grunts, and she gasps around his fingers.

“Wh-what?” She says, whining because she’s so very close. This wasn’t the type of talk she enjoyed during sex. “Harry, please, I’m almost there, can we talk about this after?” She tugs at his hair, making him groan.

He grips her hips, helping her rock faster on him, and she goes to rub her own clit. He was fucking so hard and deep that she thought her spine was going to crack in half, but she didn’t fucking care. She wanted it. He hits it just right again, and her eyes roll into the back of her head as her back arches, her body molding into his as she rides it out. His come shoots up inside her a moment after, and he presses his lips to her temple. She tries to move off him, but he wraps his arms around her tummy to keep here there.

“Can we talk now?” He breathes, his breath hot on the shell of her ear and she whimpers. “I really think we should live together.”

“And whose place do you want to live at, hm? We’re both pack rats, Har. We both need home offices, we both-“

“Just answer the question: do you want to live together?”

“Yes.” She looks over her shoulder at him. “I do.”

“Okay, then.” He smiles and gently lifts her off of him. “Right when we started dating, I got pre-approved for a home loan.” He wraps her up in the blanket she has on the couch and carries her into the bedroom so they can both lay down before cleaning themselves up. “I put the house hunting on hold, obviously…I’d need to get pre-approved again since the three-month window they gave me lapsed, but…I can afford a pretty decent house.” He smiles fondly at Danielle. She had that after sex glow to her, and it always made him melt.

“You…you can afford a house?”

“I can.” He nods. “Been saving up for a while. I was sort of hoping…well…we could look at houses together. I could buy it, and then we could split the mortgage payments, or I could just pay the mortgage and you could take care of the utilities and other bills. Whatever makes more sense.” He shrugs. She blinks a few times and then licks her lips.

“I just…wow, I can’t believe you wanna do something so huge with me. Buying a house with someone is a pretty big deal.”

“I feel like it makes more sense to buy the house first, and then save back up for a wedding later, but that’s just me.” He gives her a smug look and her eyes widen. “I think that’s why the divorce rate is too high, not enough people live together before they get married.” A grin starts to form on her lips. “Don’t look at me like that, we’ve talked about long-term stuff before.”

“We’ve talked about hypothetical babies, not buying a house. Do you already have a realtor?”

“No, and we don’t really need one. We can just look up the houses we wanna see and contact the realtor that’s selling the home. A friend of mine did that and they said it was a way better experience.”

“I can’t believe this.” She shakes her and then giggles, throwing her arms around his neck. “You wanna be us a house! I wish I could help with the down payment, but my student loans have prevented me from putting a lot into my savings…”

“It’s no problem. You’re able to afford this place on your own, so I figured you’d be able to help with bills and stuff.”

“I definitely will be able to.” She kisses his cheek. “Let’s go take a shower and then we can start looking on realtor.”

“Eager.” He smirks as she tugs him up from the bed.

“Now’s the time to buy! All of the snowbirds who are looking to make the big plunge to warm weather full time will be looking to get rid of their houses, and with the school year starting we don’t really have to worry about competing with families. It’s perfect, Harry!”

It was, it really was.

By the beginning of October, the two were moved into a stunning home with four bedrooms, and four baths. They got just about everything on their wish list, and anything they didn’t, Harry said he could make happen. Danielle was able to pass out candy for Halloween to the kids in the neighborhood, which delighted her to no end because a few of her new and previous students stopped by. And when it came time for Thanksgiving, even though they weren’t full unpacked, Danielle was able to host a fabulous dinner for her family.

It wasn’t always perfect, they disagreed on paint colors, furniture, curtains, and rugs. They usually found some way to compromise, though. Sometimes Danielle had trouble checking her attitude at the door. There was one evening she got home a little later than usual, so Harry got dinner started. A nice gesture on his part, which she thanked him for. However, when it came time to clean up, she wouldn’t stop huffing while she loaded the dishwasher.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” He finally asks. “Why are you reorganizing everything?”

“Because you never put anything in here right.” She snaps. “Bowls and cups go on the top rack. Look at this! You put one of the little plates up here, how the fuck is that supposed to get cleaned properly?” She says as she moves the small plate to the bottom rack. “You also don’t load the silverware correctly. Did you want me to stab myself?! I’m usually the one that has to unload it.” She huffs again after throwing a pod in and turning the dishwasher on. She crosses her arms and looks at him. “I’m your girlfriend, not your mother.”

“I never said you were.” He crosses his arms as well, astonished at her tone.

“Yeah? So, did you think that your dirty socks and underwear just magically picked themselves up and put themselves into your hamper? Did you think that the bed magically gets made? Did you think that the broom and dustpan do a little fucking dance and that’s how the shmutz on the floor gets cleaned up?!”

“You’re making it seem like I don’t do anything to help out around here. I’m the one that rakes the leaves and mows the lawn, I’m the one that has to stop what I’m doing to come kill a bug every time you yelp, I’m the one that takes care of all the trash in the house-“

“Only when I say something about it overflowing. I have to tell you to do everything!”

“Look, I’m sorry I don’t load the dishwasher in the way that you’d prefer, but the dishes get clean, so-“

“No, they don’t. I either have to run it again, or I wash the stuff by hand. We’re gonna have kids someday, Harry, I don’t want them picking up on your bad habits.”

“My bad habits?!” Okay, now he was getting angry. “I have to ask you to clean your hair out of the shower drain. In fact, your hair is fucking everywhere! You never wipe off the mirror after you pop a pimple, which you know you shouldn’t be doing anyway.” He rolls his eyes. Her face falls into a deep frown. “Not so much fun when someone’s pointing out your flaws, is it?”

“Fuck off.” She turns on her heel and makes her way out of the kitchen.

“Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be. You’re going to start an argument with me, but you’re not going to finish it?” He says as he follows her out to the staircase.

“You asked me what was wrong, and I told you.” She states.

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to be such a bitch about it.” Her eyes widen with anger at that, and her nails press into her palms. She starts stomping her way upstairs. “Dani.” He sighs. “Shit, I didn’t mean to say that.” He follows her up the stairs.

“But you did.” She goes into the bedroom and almost shuts the door in his face, but he catches it, making his way in. “You men are all the same, you know that? Any time a woman calls you out on some crap, she’s a bitch.”

“You got upset over something as insignificant as loading a dishwasher. You know we’re lucky to even have one? There are people who don’t have the luxury.”

“Yeah, I know! And I’d probably be the one to always be washing the dishes.”

“If it bothered you that much, then why didn’t you say something to me before?”

“Because I didn’t want to come off as naggy! I don’t want to be one of those women that’s always telling their partner what to do and how to do it, but holy fuck, who actually raised you?! I mean, some of the things you do, I just don’t understand.” She shakes her head.

“We were obviously raised differently.” He sighs. “You know if you just told me-“

“But I don’t want to have to tell you! I don’t want to have to ask because I shouldn’t have to.”

“I’m not a mind reader, Dani!”

“I’m not asking you to be! But when the sink is full of dishes, do you think you could take care of it without me having to mention it? Do you think that when the trash is full you could just bag it up and take it and put a new bag in? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accidentally thrown something out without a bag being in the barrel. It drives me bananas!”

“Okay, I’ll…I’ll try to be better about those things. I don’t want you to feel like you’re having to pick up after me.” He runs a hand through his hair.

“And…I’ll try to not just explode on you when something’s been bothering me.” She sits on the bed and lays back. “Ugh, I just had a long day. Kids are starting to get colds, and the meeting I had after school just wouldn’t end, I’m supposed to get my period in a couple of days so I feel bloated and gross.” Harry sits down next to her and rubs her thigh. He looks down at her with a soft smile. “Listen to me.” She sighs. “Here I am complaining about stupid things when you literally put your life at risk every time you go to work.”

“Don’t compare us, babe. You’re allowed to feel annoyed and stressed.”

“How do you always stay so calm?” She tugs him down to lay with her.

“I don’t know. It’s hard to stay upset when I have such a cute girlfriend.” He kisses her cheek and she giggles.

“I’m sorry I got so mad.”

“It’s okay, baby.” He kisses her cheek again. “We’re bound to have an argument once in a while. The most important thing is that we always make up afterwards.” He starts kissing on her neck and she bites her bottom lip.

“Harry, I just told you that I feel bloated and gross, and-“

“So, let me make you feel not gross.” He says as he moves on top of her. “Let me love on you, darling, it’ll help you destress.” He moves her up the bed until he’s situated between her legs. He undoes her pants and drags them down her legs. “Are you wearing boxer-briefs?” He questions.

“Y-yeah? I started buying them a little while ago. They’re more comfortable, and they breathe better. Plus, no panty lines.”

“How did I not notice this?” He blinks.

“Because I usually change when I get home into something a little sexier.” She chuckles.

“Actually…” He tugs on the band and lets it snap back against her skin. “You look pretty sexy in these.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He tugs them off of her and kisses on her tummy. He parts he legs and licks around her folds. She sighs and lets her body rest into the mattress.

“I really feel like I don’t deserve this since I was so nasty to you.” She says as she cards her finger through his hair.

“You can make it up to me by letting me fuck your mouth afterwards. Seems like you could use a break from running it, hm?” He sucks on her clit, making her groan, and she nods.

“Yeah, seems fair to me.” She gasps as he licks into her warm center, and uses his thumb on her clit. “Would you make me come a few times, though, at least?”

Her gives her a devilish smirk, which she takes as a yes while he continues to work his tongue in and out of her. He gave her four orgasms before crawling up her body and stuffing his throbbing down her throat. Feeling her nails dig into his hips as he thrusted in and out of her was everything he needed. They didn’t do stuff like this often. He didn’t want to be one of those couples where certain types of sex or positions were used as punishments. But he knew Danielle genuinely enjoyed feeling a little bit of pain, not that they’d ever talked about it. He didn’t want to embarrass her by bringing up one of her very obvious kinks. Whenever he did fuck her throat, though, she always moaned around him, and she’d end up drenched between her legs all over again, so he knew she enjoyed it. He also made sure to love on her right afterwards, praising her, telling her how good she did for him, and he’d get a glass of water for her to sip on while he cleaned her up. They had good, healthy relationship in many aspects. He loved her, he really fucking loved her, and he never wanted to be without her.

“Dani, fuck, I love you, I love you so much, shit!” He cries out as he comes down her throat. He pulls away from her carefully and she smiles up at him after swallowing. He wipes a few stray tears away from her cheek.

“I love you too.” She says, voice hoarse, but still there.

“Do you feel like taking a bath tonight? I could rub your shoulders for you.”

“I’d like that, yeah, thanks.”

A couple of months later, and it was fire safety week once again. They made it through their first holiday season together, and his thirty-third birthday. Now they had been together an entire year, owned a home together, and were looking into potentially getting a dog. Harry had told her all about the senior dogs at the shelter, and Danielle sort of liked the idea of not having to train a puppy, even if they were undeniably cute.

All of the kids in both of Danielle’s groups knew that Chief Styles was Miss Robinson’s very special friend because she had a picture of the two of them on her desk, and one of him as her desktop wallpaper. It was no surprise that some of the kids teased them a bit, and asked some personal questions, but other than that the week was going well as it usually did. When Friday rolled around, it was time for the kids to put on their performance for the fire department. It was an assembly all of the grades came to, along with the other teachers. Once the four songs, and a skit, are over, Harry goes up to give his thanks just as he did last year.

“Thank you all so much for another fantastic week. Fire safety is extremely important to learn at a young age. I know we had a lot of fun together, but remember, when you’re missing Chief Styles, don’t call 911 to talk to him. Have your parent or guardian come down to the fire house, and we can say hello there, alright?” That was usually where the assembly would end, but today things were going to go a little differently. “If I could have all of the kids back up on stage for a moment? Parents, I promise this won’t take more than a couple of minutes.”

Danielle was visibly confused because she hadn’t planned anything else with the students, and Harry hadn’t mentioned adding anything special today. So, she sat in her seat in the front row and watched. She leaned over next to one of her colleagues.

“Do you know what’s going on?” She asks.

“Just watch, Dani.” Her colleague says, and Danielle sits up straight in her seat again.

All of the kids were holding a piece of paper in their hands. It was facing blank towards the audience. Some of them were giggling as Harry and the other fire fighters placed them in certain spots. Ralph gives Harry a thumbs up, and he starts speaking into the microphone again.

“Not a lot of people know this, or maybe they do, I don’t really know, but last year was my first year getting to host fire safety week with the lovely Miss Robinson, and over this last year she’s managed to steal my heart, giving me the great privilege of calling her my girlfriend.” The kids behind him snicker and giggle. “You said you’d all be cool, come on.” He looks over at Danielle, who still really had no idea what the fuck was going on. “Miss Robinson, could you come here for a moment?”

She nods, and gets up slowly, walking over to him. He takes one of his hands in hers.

“What are you doing?” She whispers.

“You’ll see.” He winks. “Miss Robinson has taught her kids how to spell lots of interesting words already this year. She teaches them how to sound things out, and all that good stuff. I had a chance to teach them something this week and they’ve been dying to show you.” He tugs her to the side so the whole audience will be able to see. “Alright, kids, flip your papers over to show Miss Robinson.”

She gasps when she sees it, cupping a hand over her mouth as her eyes start to well up. All of the papers spelled out: M I S S – R O B I N S O N – W I L L – Y O U – M A R R Y – M E ? She looks at Harry, who was now down on one knee, holding up a gorgeous ring in a little black, velvet box.

“It says, Miss Robinson, will you marry me?” He says to her with a beaming smile.

“I can see that.” She says, wiping some tears from her cheeks.

“Will you?”

“Yes! Oh my god, yes.” Everyone in the room cheers as Harry slips the ring on her finger. He stands up, and kisses her, not to vulgarly because there were kids around, but enough to show how happy he was that she said yes. “When did you have the time to plan all of this with them?”

“Got their parents’ emails from one of the other teachers.” He smirks. “Are you surprised?”

“I’m shocked!” She turns to her students. “You all kept such a big secret from me!” They crowd around her to hug her as she opens her arms for them.

A ton of the teachers, parents, and fire fighters all come up to the congratulate the pair. Once all of the fuss is over, and the cafeteria is cleared, Harry and Danielle go back to her classroom so she can pack up her things for the day.

“Do you like the ring?” He asks nervously.

“Are you kidding, I love it! It’s so beautiful, baby.” She pecks his lips. “I can’t wait to call my parents, I’m buzzing! Think of how cute Sarah’s going to be as a flower girl. Oh, and they’ll start calling you Uncle Harry, how sweet!”

“Gonna have to let Ryan be a groomsman, or I think he’ll try to kill me.” Harry chuckles. “He’s quite protective over his Auntie Dani.”

“And don’t you forget it.” She presses her finger to his chest. He leans in and kisses her tenderly. Normally, Danielle didn’t like getting so lovey dovey in her classroom, but she figured she had a good excuse in case anyone walked in. “I still can’t believe you planned all of that and pulled it off. Those kids usually can’t keep a secret.”

“I promised them all a ride in one of the fire trucks if they kept their mouths shut.”

“Damn, that was really smart.” She chuckles.

“I’d say so.” He smirks. “Do you feel like going out to eat tonight to celebrate? Ralph and his husband were hoping to treat us.”

“Sure.” She nods. “I’ll just need to cancel my yoga classes really quick.”

“You can still teach your classes if you want. I can just tell him we won’t be ready until later.”

“No, see, I wanna go home, and stay there for a bit.” She tugs on the suspenders that were keeping his fire pants up. “I’d like to celebrate with you privately first, Chief Styles.” She takes his hat off and puts it on her own head before catching his bottom lip between her teeth and sucking on it. He groans into the kiss, and she lets his lip snap back. He had inadvertently put her into one of her ‘Chief Styles/Miss Robinson’ moods, which he wasn’t upset about in the least. “How’s that sound?”

“Well, Miss Robinson, I’d say it sounds like you’re trying to seduce me.” He smirks, and she rolls her eyes. It was her least favorite joke.

“I can’t wait to be Danielle Robinson Styles so that you can’t make that stupid fucking joke anymore. I’m not a forty-year-old woman seducing a recent college grad!” His face softens immensely. “What?”

“Nothing.” He puts his hands on her hips and gives her a squeeze. “I just…I didn’t think you’d want to change your name, is all.”

“Harry, I’d be proud to be called Mrs. Styles. Think of how cute it’ll be after we get married and I have a new class, and then when you come in for fire safety week, I’ll be able to say my husband, Chief Styles.” She pouts at him.

“Alright, it’s time we get you home before my stiffy pops through my pants.”

She giggles as she grabs her bag, and they both rush out of her classroom, and out to the car. They held hands the while way home, not wanting to be apart from one another’s touch for even a second.

#burning love #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles au #harry styles series #harry styles x oc #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #firefighter!harry #firefighterry

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asset35-maya · 3 years

Note

Another ask if you feel like it, because I love the way you did the last.

Gavin helping Nines through either a Bad Texture Day, or a meltdown because one of his routines got disrupted.

Autistic and Human Au again please

<3 <3

Another bright morning. Another sunny day. Another painful struggle for Gavin Reed to drag himself out of bed. Luckily he knew he could always count on a warm breakfast waiting for him in the kitchen… along with a gentle kiss on the left cheek.

The very thought ought to make him smile, but this morning, he had a headache. A rather nasty one. Well actually, it was a hangover. And his own fault for thinking he could get away with downing that much red wine.

His new fiancé had warned him, but Gavin couldn’t be stopped from celebrating. Not after finally bucking up the courage to get down on one knee and having the proposal go spectacularly well.

Gavin had carefully researched how best to balance the element of surprise with giving Nines enough time to internalize and deliberate the request. He didn’t at all doubt Nines’ commitment to their relationship or willingness to marry him... but he knew that spur of the moment decision-making didn’t always blend well with autistic thought processes.

After asking around in online help forums and talking to their close friends, Gavin had figured it out. The proposal ended up being simple and domestic, yet a 100% charming.

Since Nines loved to cook and Gavin always brought home the groceries, he decided to create a long trail of clues using notes tacked to different items on different days. It was a slow build but when Nines finally retrieved the ring from within the box of Cheerios, the deal was a good as sealed.

They kissed over the brown paper bags and Nines whipped up a splendid meal with all the fresh ingredients. Gavin had brought home lamb shanks and the fanciest figs he could find from the Mediterranean aisle. He also broke out his birthday wine that he’d been saving for a special occasion.

Life wasn’t perfect for the two of them, but in that moment it sure felt like it.

Still blissed out despite the throbbing in his head, Gavin stumbled into the kitchen. He yawned as he noticed the mugs of tea steaming on the countertop. Nah, he’d need something way stronger to ward off his pounding headache.

Unthinkingly, he sidestepped Nines and flipped open a cupboard door. He reached for the jar of instant coffee and let the door slam shut. The second Nines flinched, Gavin’s actions caught up with him.

“Sorry babe, I’ll get out of your way.”

Nines nodded stiffly and turned his attention back to the bacon in his frying pan.

Gavin sheepishly poured hot water from the kettle into the spare mug. He tried to be as quiet as possible, but he couldn’t avoid the spoon tinkling as he stirred the coffee powder into the water.

Nines suddenly dropped his spatula and marched towards the side counter. He grabbed one of the mugs and dumped the tea down the sink. In the few seconds his back was turned, a burning smell came from the stove. Nines scrambled to turn it off and in his haste, dropped the beloved cat-shaped mug. It cracked in two, splitting diagonally across the cute little face.

Gavin knew what was going to happen before it did. A cruel reminder that despite the glorious night they’d shared, their life was indeed far from perfect.

Nines’ breathing turned shallow. He sunk to the floor, fighting the sobs that threatened to break free. He kept his eyes fixed on the broken fragments. A few moments passed, and then Nines lost all composure.

He cried like he’d lost everything. As if the roof had caved in… as if the sun would never shine again… as if the world had ended. Maybe none of that was even remotely true, but it sure felt like it.

Gavin knew. Gavin understood. And it hurt. Even if he knew it would pass, even if he knew Nines would eventually be okay. It hurt to see his lover in so much distress, especially if he was the cause, however inadvertently.

Silently, Gavin sat down on the floor in the same spot at the edge of the kitchen. He made no attempt to approach or coax or calm Nines. He just sat and watched him go through it for a moment.

“I- I- I’m s-s-sorry… Ga-Gav-in…”

“Shhh… don’t be. Don’t be sorry, Nines.”

“I ruined… I ruined breakfast. Like I ruin… everything.”

“Mmm… not everything. Breakfast yes, and that’s my fault, but not everything.”

“I ruined that mug forever.”

Nines pointed at the ceramic pieces on the ground. Tears streamed steadily down his face and his chest shook with the effort of trying to talk and breathe though it all. Gavin’s throat clenched with guilt. His own eyes felt rather warm and wet, but he blinked rapidly to clear them. It wasn’t about him. He now had to focus and help Nines move out of his current headspace.

“Well babe, this mug is never going to be the same, that’s for sure… buuuut we can use it for something else, right? You’re always gushing about upcycling! Could we maybe glue the pieces together? Turn it into a pot for one of your plants? A cat with leaves growing out of its head sounds neat.”

Nines sniffed.

“A cat with a huge crack in its face.”

“Or… a scar on its nose. Just like me.”

Nines pointed to the other mug on the counter.

“What about that one?”

“We could stick plants in that one too.”

“But it’s not broken.”

“Yeah it’s perfect. Just like you. And nothing’s ever gonna split you and me up, so who the phck are we to keep these mugs apart? Both of them are going in the garden. You just tell me which herbs you want in them later, okay?”

Nines wiped his face with the back of his hand. His breathing was steadier. Gavin could see that providing a distraction had worked and Nines could now slowly collect himself. The only trouble with using rational paths like this one was the risk of making Nines feel silly.

“I’m a mess. I couldn’t let things be… normal… for like 24 hours. You went through all that trouble to propose and I just had a meltdown over a fucking mug. I don’t know why you even want to marry me.”

“Nines... There’s no such thing as normal. We both know that. So let’s not strive for the impossible, okay? Phck normal.”

Nines looked up and met his eye. That was a very promising sign. Gavin decided to push a little further with humor. If it worked, they were in the clear. If not, he’d try something else. Whatever the outcome, he wouldn’t give up. Never. Not when it came to Nines.

“And if you really need a list of reasons why I wanna marry you, just go back and read all the little grocery notes. Come on! I didn’t pour my heart out for the love of broccoli and canned beans.”

The corner of Nines’ lip twitched. He closed his eyes and leaned his head wearily against the cabinets. Exhausted. He held out a hand.

Gavin was beside him in a flash, gently placing his opposite hand into the outstretched palm and squeezing as much reassurance as he could into it. Nines reciprocated weakly and their matching rings clicked against each other.

A moment passed with Gavin resting on his haunches. Then Nines made a valiant attempt to stand. It wasn’t very successful... Patient as ever, Gavin waited until his hand was dropped.

He pressed a soft kiss to Nines’ forehead before wrapping one arm around his back and slipping the other beneath his knees. With practiced ease and balance, Gavin stood up… stepped over the broken halves of the mug… and carried Nines into the living room.

A plan had already formed in his mind.

He would give Nines his tea.

They would watch some Sunday morning cartoons.

They would get some hash browns and McGriddles delivered home (because it was still early enough).

Gavin would throw out the burnt bacon and carefully glue the broken cat mug back together.

Nines would pick out the herb cuttings to plant into the two matching mugs, though Gavin had a pretty good hunch it would be rosemary and thyme.

As difficult as it was, life would go on... and they would buy new mugs. Maybe a bigger set... because accidents happened and there was no need to dwell on them for too long.

There would be more bright and sunny mornings to spend together.

They would get married someday.

And maybe things would be okay. Or maybe they wouldn’t. Who knew. Who cared.

Their life wasn’t perfect… but it definitely was beautiful.

@rjhpandapaws

#human au #reed900 #gavin reed #gavin900 #rk900 #dbh rk900 #dbh nines #dbh writing #my writing #thanks for the ask!

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minimitchell · 3 years

Text

callumhighwayweek day 6 - “I’m glad I met you.” (ao3 link)

“Ben, can you please sit down? You’re making me nervous.”

Callum watches Ben heave out a heavy breath, letting himself fall into the chair next to him. The seats they’re in are incredibly uncomfortable and sitting in them for longer periods of time makes his butt go all numb so he could use a walkabout himself, but he also doesn’t want Ben to get even more nervous than they both already are.

They’ve been here for hours now. So long that Callum has memorized every single little detail of the room by now. He can point out every crack in the walls, every pamphlet that’s a little too crooked in the display case on the far wall, can tell you all about the way the big clock’s minute hand stops right before the twelve and then has to rush to catch up again.

The baby pink of the walls around them doesn’t prove to be quite as soothing as he thinks the NHS would’ve hoped it would be, and as soon as Ben’s back in his seat, he starts shaking his leg up and down in nervous anticipation.

When they first got here nearly four hours ago, they had thought it wouldn’t be a long wait. After an hour with no new developments, Callum got up to get them both some coffee, what with it nearing one in the morning at that point. It tasted like shit but at least they felt marginally more awake afterwards.

It’s more the nerves keeping them awake anyways. The uncertainty is hard to wade through and now, after three more hours of complete standstill, Ben’s nerves are completely fried. To an outsider Callum is probably looking much calmer than Ben is but that really isn’t the case at all. He keeps wringing his hands together, twisting and turning the white gold band sitting on his left ring finger.

At first, they kept having to send texts to the few family members that decided to stay up with them. But as the clock passed two in the morning, Ben told his mum to go to bed with the promise that they’d call if they had any news.

Callum is beginning to think they could still be hours away from that though.

“God, I hate waiting. Not knowing what’s happening, it’s driving me insane.”

Callum reaches over to lay one of his hands on Ben’s knee, stilling the bouncing with one well-placed touch. He’s so incredibly thankful he’s had Ben next to him these last few months but right now his husband does nothing to calm Callum’s own nerves.

He’d even go as far as saying he wouldn’t have made it without him but he knows the same goes for Ben. Thank god they had each other through it all; always alternating between who’s the nervous one and who’s calming the other.

“I know, babe. You’re the most impatient person I know. And that includes Lexi.”

It’s definitely true. Ben’s never been good at the whole patience and waiting on things aspect of life but it’s not like they were able to speed things up with this whether they wanted to or not; bound to a mixture of science and nature from start to finish.

He’s gotten better over the years though. Callum likes to think him and Lexi have done wonders in smoothing out many of Ben’s rougher edges and he’s definitely better than he was years ago when they met - in almost every aspect of his life.

As is Callum, needless to say.

“At least we know she’s alright. They’d tell us if something was wrong, right?”

“Of course they would.”

Callum didn’t think he’d be this nervous when the time finally came but the second they got the phone call last night he’d started panicking. They might’ve had over six months to actively prepare for this moment but now that it’s actually happening, it’s even scarier than Callum ever imagined it would be.

Because this is about his baby, their baby, being born a few rooms away from here.

They had started talking about it a little after getting married and moving into their own place. Callum loves the little family of three they had before they decided to have another kid, but he couldn’t stop the wish of his own child with Ben slowly brewing in his chest. It kept festering until he just blurted it out one day at lunch, much to Ben’s surprise.

After that, it was mostly about figuring out if they can afford it, about what their options are and whether they feel ready to have a baby. It wasn’t an easy journey but now, over one and a half years later, they’re finally here; finally about to meet their little girl.

Ben tangles their fingers together on his thigh, squeezing Callum’s hand in his. It’s his own personal way of letting Callum know he needs him right now, so he pulls Ben into his chest, letting him tuck his head under Callum’s chin. His free hand comes to rest on Callum’s stomach, gripping the hoodie he’s thrown on before they drove to the hospital.

“Bit mad, innit. That we got here, how we got here.”

It brings a smile to his lips, because it really is a bit mad. How they went from being at each other’s throat to happily married. How Callum went from being so deeply closeted to expecting a baby with his husband. It’s crazy to think how much his life has changed since he moved to Walford - and that’s mostly down to the man right next to him.

“Hm. I wouldn’t have believed it when we first kissed.”

Internalized homophobia and denial aside, Callum doesn’t think he would’ve ever thought Ben Mitchell was the type to settle down and get married. And Callum wouldn’t have thought he would settle down with Ben either, not at that time at least, but here they both are. Ben likes to call it a happy coincidence but to Callum it’s nothing less than fate.

“Some night that was, eh.”

“First night I felt really free.”

Ben shifts under him, turning his head so he can look up into Callum’s eyes, face soft and eyes gentle as he regards Callum. They’ve talked a lot about that night during the course of their relationship. About what it meant for them respectively, how it basically kickstarted Callum’s coming out, how it was the start of Ben slowly falling for him.

They don’t need to hash it out again but it’s always nice to remember how much that night meant to both of them; how much it still means even after years of making memories together.

“You freed me too. Saved me from myself, didn’t you.”

Ben’s finger keeps running over the cold metal of Callum’s ring, gliding from left to right and back again. Callum has noticed him doing that a lot, when they’re laying in bed at night or lounging on the couch in front of the TV, their hands tangled together and fingers dancing over each other’s skin almost absentmindedly.

The meaning behind the gesture makes him emotional every time he sees Ben doing it. It almost feels like Ben does it to remind himself that this is real; that they’re joined for life because they truly love each other.

Suddenly, it becomes the most important thing to let Ben know he does.

“Love you.”

Ben’s expression softens even further, leaning up a little to press a soft, chaste kiss to Callum’s lips. Callum runs his forefinger over the soft skin of Ben’s throat and up his chin, dropping his hand again when Ben leans back down.

It still knocks Callum for six to know that Ben is his; that he gets to share his life with this man, have a family with him and make him happy every single day of their life. He’s been supportive of every choice Callum makes and it hasn’t been any different with this.

There were a lot of nights sleep hadn’t found Callum because he was too busy worrying about being a dad to a newborn baby. He hadn’t come into Lexi’s life until she was already her own little person, how could they be sure he won’t mess their kid up. Ben had heard him out each and every time though, had reassured him that he was a natural dad and promised him they would figure this all out together.

It’s only because of Ben he feels ready to be here.

Ready to finally hold his baby girl in his arms.

“You can take a quick nap if you want. I’ll wake you if anything happens.”

As if on cue, a tired yawn claws itself out of Ben’s mouth and he drops his head back down onto Callum’s chest, nose buried in the soft, grey fabric of Callum’s hoodie. It’s past four o’clock now and they haven’t slept a bit since getting up for work yesterday morning, but he also knows that Ben is as stubborn as ever and there’s no way he’ll go to sleep now - not when they’re waiting with bated breath for their baby.

“Don’t wanna. Just wanna see our baby. I wanna know if she has your cute nose and your pretty dimples. God, I hope she has your eyes.”

“I hope she has yours. Hopefully your ears as well.”

Their laughter is barely audible in the waiting room, just soft huffs shared in the little space between them. They didn’t want to know who the biological father is going to be; it didn’t matter to them. Besides, speculating is too much fun anyway. And really, as long as their baby is happy and healthy, it doesn’t matter to them.

“I’m glad I met you. I’m glad we can sit here today, even if we’re both dead tired, and wait for our baby to be born. Glad we got here in the end.”

He can feel Ben press a kiss to his chest, squeezing the hands still linked together on Ben’s thigh to let Callum know he feels the same way. They don’t need words, they never did.

“Mr. and Mr. Mitchell?”

They look over at the nurse at the same time, Ben’s head darting up from Callum’s chest and straightening his back. The woman has a kind smile on her face and just seeing her after the many hours of waiting they’ve done already, calms something in Callum’s stomach.

“Yeah?”

“Are you ready to meet your new baby?”

The big smile on her face must be mirrored on both his and Ben’s as well and she waits for them to get up from their seats before she beckons them to follow her down the corridor. Callum sees Ben blow out a deep breath beside him and he reaches his hand back out to him, smiling when their hands clasp back together like two magnets finding one another.

He can feel his heart hammering inside his chest, the nervousness coming back to him full force all of a sudden, but he knows it’s going to be alright as long as Ben is by his side.

It always is.

#chweek2021 #callumhighwayweek2021 #ballum fic #my writing #apparently day 6 is future family fic day with these prompts for me

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girlwithshipsshitshow · 3 years

Text

Part 25

(Misaki Kneeled in front of his parents grave, tightly holding Usagi's hand, even though his tie had just been fixed before they left they house, it was somehow already crooked. He had no idea what to say, should he start by apologizing that he hadn't been to visit in the last fourteen years? Or introduce Usagi first like it's just a normal conversation.)

Misaki: (lets out a long sigh, Usagi Squeezing his hand for encouragement). Uh, hey mom, dad. This feels weird, I know I never really came to visit, mostly because for the longest time I thought your death was my fault, a-a-and I know that sounds dumb but it's true, so I never came, I'm here today because I lot is happening. I'm graduating!, I'm also getting married, to this guy. He's the love of my life, if you guys we're alive I'd think you'd love him. (He smiled gently at Usagi), His name is Akihiko Usami, but I call him Usagi. He's amazing, the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm so lucky to have him, I want you to meet him.

Usagi: Um hi, I don't know how to introduce myself, should I say Usagi? (He ducked his head), No that sounds weird, I'm Usami. Misaki says he's the best thing that's ever happened to him, but truthfully, he saved me, I would not be this person without him. Before we met I was kinda an awful person, I never let anyone in, I was a mess, I almost died a few times, I never ate properly, I never really opened myself up to anyone, I had al these walls up, then Misaki came and I was this a different person. (he chuckled softly), Some might say softer. Misaki is the only person I've truly felt combatable with, he's my soulmate and best friend, the best person you could ever ask for, he's doing okay, he's happy, I'm so grateful for him.

Misaki: (softly), Usagi... (He wrapped his arms around the older man, leaning into him), I love you.

Usagi: I love you too. Thank you for bringing me here.

Misaki: Thank you for coming.

Usagi: You're parents would be so proud of you.

Misaki: How do you know?

Usagi: Because I'm so proud of you, how could they not be.

Misaki: Thank you.

(They stayed there for a while, in a silent embrace paying their respects, Misaki was happy he decied to come, he needed it. He was so grateful to have this man in his life, and really needed the support today.)

Monday March 16, 2020... six days before graduation.

(Misaki woke up feeling beside him, the space was empty, he was confused, usually this early in the morning Usagi would still be asleep, he rubbed his eyes, blinked a few times then gave his eyes a few seconds to adjust to the light, turning his head towards the alarm clock he realized it was only eight am, yeah Usagi should definitely still be asleep).

Misaki: Usagi?! (He called loudly, his voice was groggy from just waking up)

Usagi: Good morning, (He smirked entering the room with a tray of breakfast consisting of coffee, eggs, hash browns, and bacon).

Misaki: (Smirks): What's all this?

Usagi: (Sitting on the bed carefully placing the tray between them, he hands Misaki the cup of coffee and places a kiss on his cheek). I made you breakfast.

Misaki: You didn't have to do that. (He takes a sip of coffee, the warmth wakes up his body, he smirks, taking Usagi's hand), You're amazing.

Usagi: I know it's not a trinational bra-

Misaki: Stop it, I love it. (He smiles, taking a bit of everything), It's great.

Usagi: I'm glad you think so.

Misaki: So why are you up so early?

Usagi: A man can't wake up early to make breakfast for his fiancé?

Misaki: (Smirks, giving him a knowing look).

Usagi: Um, Isaka called last night after you went to sleep-

Misaki: How rude, Doesn't he know not to call in the middle of the night?

Usagi: I agree, but he's my boss.

Misaki: He's your friend, and as your friend he should know not too.

Usagi: He wanted to talk to you, but I told him you were asleep.

Misaki: Why does he want to talk to me?

Usagi: He wants to have a meeting with you today about us, and you being my assistant.

Misaki: Um, why now? I'm not starting until like the begging of may.

Usagi: I don't know, but he want's to meet at noon, so eat up.

Misaki: I'm supposed to tell you to do that. You're still recovering you know.

Usagi: So, feed me.

Misaki: (Smirks, feeds Usagi a piece of bacon, the older boy takes his hand lacing his fingers through his, pulling him into a kiss, knocking the food on the bed). Usagi!

Usagi: We can clean it up. (He pulls Misaki on top of him, running his hands through his hair, they kiss passionately), Hey, (he pulls away breathing heard, pushing hair out of Misaki's face, (wanna take this to the shower?

Misaki: I don't know Usagi... (He trailed off, he Missed having Usagi inside off him, he missed being inside of Usagi, but they only had six more days till they could have sex again, surely they could wait it out right?)

Usagi: I know we have six more days till we can have sex again but.. I can help you shower right? (He grinned kissing Misaki's neck, the younger boy moaned.)

Misaki: Um, do you really think it's a good idea to show up to a meeting with love bites on my neck?

Usagi: That's okay, I can put them other places.

Misaki: We can shower together, but maybe nothing that will cause a delay in getting ready?

Usagi: Fine, (He sat, gently pushing Misaki to stand), But you owe me.

Misaki: (Grins leaning down), We have three whole weeks alone once I graduate, that trip you planned, I know where it is by the way, not in Tokyo, we'll have plenty of time to do other things.

Usagi: (Wraps his arms around Misaki's neck), Good, and we are never leaving the bedroom.

Misaki: Okay. (Kisses Usagi, then pulls him up leading him to the bathroom), Now help me wash my hair, I love when you do it.

Usagi: No problem.

(Misaki Stood outside Isaka's door he was nervous, he kept messing with his tie, it was crooked again. Usagi glanced at him, fixed his tie, and his hair).

Usagi: Sweetie, you have to relax, you already have the job, trust me, being my assent will be easier for everyone. (He kissed him softly on his forehead). Just go in, he's expecting you.

Misaki: You should come to, I'm sure he'd loved to see you.

Usagi: I can't help you with this one, he told me I wasn't allowed.

Misaki: (Sighs), Okay. I love you.

Usagi: And I love you. You're amazing, you can do this. I'm going to bug Eri.

Misaki: Leave her Alone.

Usagi: She loves me.

Misaki: Usagi-san!

Usagi: TOO LATE (at the elevator), I'm already here! Good luck! I believe in you!

Isaka: (Opens door): Misaki! (Hugs him tightly), Get in here! Lets talk.

Isaka: You already have the job, this is just a formality. No one wants to be his assistant.

Asahina: No one.

Misaki: (Angry): No one asked you lover boy.

Isaka: Things you can't do in public, Holding hands.

Misaki: What about y'all?

Isaka: You already know about us.

Misaki: When I start the Job, everyone will know the two of us are engaged.

Asahina: Fair point, even so, you can't be all over each other.

Isaka: Keep it professional.

Asahina: To be fair Isaka; If you had it your way, we would be all over each other at work, but you don't so.

Isaka: Anyway, Meetings, he still hates them.

Misaki: I know, but he has to have them, we need to keep them to an hour, book signings and releases should be at least an hour and half not all day events, although if I'm there we can probably get them for two hours, he won't do much more than that, even if I'm with him. Events that have to be longer, he would only do a day long event, no matter what, he hardly wants to be at my graduation, I don't even want to be there.

Isaka: What about b-

Misaki: Book tour? That's a joke.

(Isaka and Asahina glanced at each other, frowning).

Misaki: A BOOK TOUR? NO WAY WHY?

Isaka: He wrote four books, we want all of them out at the same time, we figu-

Misaki: Okay, some of those we're written under his pen name you can't-

Isaka: Maybe it's time for him to come clean about that.

Misaki: What?

Isaka: He came out, you guys are going to come out as a couple, I'm sure he'll be fine with it, plus he would probably make more money if people knew the books were about you two.

Misaki: The early ones weren't. He doesn't want my brother finding out about that. (Misaki blushed he was turning beat red, this was not happening).

Isaka: Him, or you? We'll just call him up here and ask... (He picked up the phone, dialing a number).

Eri: So have you guys deiced on a date?

Usagi: No, but Misaki knows how much I love Cherry blossoms so maybe in the spring, but also snow is important to us, so could be in the winter.

Eri: You can't plan that though.

Usagi: Doesn't matter, ever significant event in our lives happened when it was snowing, or snow started. It's fate.

Eri: (Smiles) Like you two.

Usagi: Exactly.

Eri: So d, (Her phone starts ringing) One sec, (She rolls her eyes), Its Isaka, (Picks the phone up), What? he is, we're busy, fine, he'll say no but I'll send him up anyway... Okay, Yeah we can do lunch, the five of us? you ask them. Bye Isaka. (Puts the phone back in the receiver, roiling her eyes), He's a pain in the ass.

Usagi: I know, what did he want?

Eri: He want's to talk to you, I told him you'd say no, but you should go up there anyway.

Usagi: What was his question?

Eri: (Sighing), I'd go find out.

Usagi: Okay. (Stands, leaning down to hug Eri).

Eri: Oh, and we're all having lunch together.

Usagi: Of course we are.

(Misaki taps his fingers in the desk, he can feel himself turning red by the second, when Usagi walks in and sits beside him he freezes, he hasn't felt like this around him in A long time).

Usagi: What's up?

Misaki: (Through gritted teeth), you don't want to know.

Isaka: How do you feel about doing a book tour?

Usagi: (Folds arms, leaning back in seat), I think you already Know the answer to that. What else?

Isaka: You're books about the two of, the ones under your pen name?

Usagi: Yeah, I know the ones? What about them?

Misaki: He want's you to say you're the one who wrote them.

Usagi: No, I can't do that, I don't want anyone to know I wrote the early ones.

Misaki: That's what I said.

Isaka: Like Misaki's brother?

Usagi: I can't ever let him know how I felt about him. If it was know I wrote those books, and thought about that... oh god (Places head in hands), and if I think about doing that stuff with Misaki.

Misaki: (Blushing harder)

Isaka: Wow, I didn't know you could turn that red.

Asahina: That is interesting.

Usagi: I can't do a book tour, two of the three books I wrote are the books about Misaki and I.

Isaka: But the other two aren't.

Misaki: He'll do a two month book tour with his books under his name.

Isaka: I think we can figure out a way to release the books under your pen name without any trouble.

Usagi: The scenes were Eri's ideas, most of them.

Misaki: My brother doesn't read that, but he will if he knows that you wrote them.

Isaka: Maybe we only print the new ones? Wipe the old ones out of exc-

Usagi: I'm telling you no!

Isaka: Some people already know, you kinda let it slip when you came out.

Usagi: I know, but I don't want anyone to know who doesn't already, plus I have the "All names are completely a coincidence"

Misaki: Yeah, right. We are going on tour with his two new books, "Beautifully drawing swords" and "Broken scars".

Isaka: Why are those titles so sad.

Misaki: A lot of his are, do you even read his books?

Usagi: The books aren't sad, "Broken scars" is-

Misaki: It's about two who are broken, they meet by chance after running away from home, fall in love and learn that broken people can heal scars.

Usagi: (Smiles) Yeah, You read the manuscript?

Misaki: Of course I did, Beautifully drawing swords was good too, more of a short story though, I wish it was longer.

Usagi: I wanted it to be, but the more I was writing it, the more I thought it worked better as a short story.

Isaka: What's that one about?

Misaki: A girl who collects swords finds a broken one a thrift shop, and makes it into a new one, she bonds with another girl across the street, and they talk about their sword collection, it's cute.

Isaka: Doesn't sound like something you'd usually write.

Usagi: I know, but I Got inspiration from a picture that Mahiro made, Eri thought it would sell, if she didn't I wouldn't have written it.

Misaki: I think kids will love it, and teens.

Isaka: I like it.

Usagi: You did agree to it.

Isaka: Did I?

Asahina: Yeah you did.

Isaka: Oh, well... it sounds sweet.

Misaki: I'm proud of him.

Isaka: You should be. Misaki, you're going to make a great assistant for him. No one can handle him like you, I mean I guess Eri, but you got him to write four books in two months, and all of them are amazing.

Misaki: (Shrugs), I don't know how.

Usagi: (Wraps his arms around Misaki), Because you're amazing, and I love you.

Misaki: I love you.

Isaka: What do you say we all go get lunch? Anyone up for pizza?

Asahina: Sure, call Eri, lets meet her in the lobby.

Misaki: Thanks for lunch Eri, (He hugged her tightly).

Eri: Anytime, hey so can I come hang out with yall later, Rose is working all week, and it's going to be lonely going home.

Usagi: Sure, but just for a bit, and you can't spend the night.

Isaka: (Laughs), Classic Usagi, not letting anyone in. (Points to Misaki), except Chibi here. (He pulls him into a hug. You're the only one.

Usagi: (Annoyed), Get off him.

Misaki: (Pushes Isaka off), Go hug your boyfriend.

Isaka: How did you do it.

Misaki: Even If I knew, I wouldn't tell you.

Usagi: (Takes Misaki's hand), No one can but him, and if we have kids.

Eri: You would spoil your kids, especially if you had a baby girl, Please have kids now!

Misaki: Can we finish building our house first? and get married?

Eri: (Clears throat), Oh yeah, sure. But after.

Misaki: You'd still want to be our surrogate right? because it might be hard japan stil-

Eri: Misaki, yes and don't worry, Rose said Ren can help, it's going to be okay.

Isaka: speaking of marriage, you guys still can't technically-

Usagi: We Know, Go to work, Asahina, take him upstairs.

Asahina: Got it, (Smirks), Pulling Isaka inside.

Isaka: HEY! YOU WORK FOR ME!

Asahina: (whispering) I'm the boss in this relationship.

Isaka: (Blushes).

Usagi: We know we need a Partnership certification.

Misaki: And that it doesn't grant us everything that a marriage would, but It's the best we can do right now.

Eri: When do you guys want to get married?

Misaki: (Grins), Winter, (He takes Usagi's hand), The snow is special to us.

Eri: You should get started now, at least looking at the documents, I heard it can take up to five moths. (Walks towards building). I'll email some information.

Misaki: (Siting on Usagi's lap, they are in his office on the couch, documents for the certificate in front of them. He sighs bowing air out), I didn't think it would be this much, we have to do this much!

Usagi: Yes. It doesn't change your mind, does it?

Misaki: (Turns to look at Usagi), What? Of course not, (He takes Usagi's face, rubbing his thumbs against his soft skin), No, it just means we have to look through all of this carefully, so we only have to do it once. If we start in August, we can have our certificate by December, maybe a little before. We'll also start the movie process by then, if we don't have any problems our house should be ready by the summer right?

Usagi: (He places his hands on Misaki's), Right, and by December we'll be moved in, we wanted to have a ceremony at our house anyway.

Misaki: Exactly It's perfect! (He grinned kissing Usagi hard), Now we need to put this in a safe place.

Usagi: I have just the spot. (He lifted Misaki, placing him beside him, stood up walked over to his desk. Opening a drawer in the bottom of his desk, he pulled out a binder marked wedding. He grinned hoping on the couch handing it to Misaki).

Misaki: Wedding?

Usagi: I've kinda been planning our wedding ever since you proposed.

Misaki: (Grins), Usagi, this is so sweet. (He holds the binder to his chest).

Usagi: Don't you want to look at it?

Misaki: Yeah, but I just remembered, I have to go get my graduation stuff, and the suit.

Usagi: Want me to come?

Misaki: Can you drop me off at the school?

Usagi: Yeah, and I can get our suits.

Misaki: Perfect. When we come we can look at the binder.

Usagi: (Eyes lighting up), Good because I have lots of ideas.

Usagi: I can't believe they had a gown that small, I bet it could fit Suzuki-san. we should test it.

Misaki: No, this, along with our suits stay in the closet until Saturday, then you can give it to Suzuki-san. (He took the suits and the gown from Usagi hanging them in the closet, then took Usagi's hand grinning at him). Okay, so let's look at the binder, you've been grinning about it all day.

Usagi: I'm so excited. (He smirked leading Misaki to the office, once there he placed the smaller man on his lap then opened the binder.) Okay so for us I'm thinking purple and blue wedding suits, purple for me.

Misaki: Of course, it'll bring out your eyes.

Usagi: Something like this. (He pointed to a picture).

Misaki: That's amazing.

Usagi: And for you, this one.

Misaki: I love it.

Usagi: And everyone else can wear black or red.

Misaki: Okay, any ideas on cake?

Usagi: Lemon, but I want it on theme, maybe this one?

Misaki: Maybe.

Usagi: You don't like it?

Misaki: It looks good, but I know we won't have a lot of people, we might need something smaller.

Usagi: Right.

Misaki: Don't say it like that (Kiss cheek), We have time.

Usagi: I know, I just wanted you to like it

Misaki: I do, and honey, we don't have to agree on everything okay?

Usagi: It would just be easer if we did.

Misaki: I know.

Usagi: We agreed on everything for our house easily.

Misaki: But not everything, there was some stuff you thought wouldn't work, and that's fine.

Usagi: I loved must of the stuff, some things I thought didn't work, so we changed them.

Misaki: Right, and it'll be like this planning our wedding.

Usagi: Okay, right. So the ceremony, you want it outdoors?

Misaki: Right.

Usagi: It might be cold though so should the reception be indoors?

Misaki: Maybe, we can look into that the closer we get.

Usagi: Okay.

Misaki: OH, the theme is amazing!

Usagi: Really?

Misaki: Yeah, I mean we won't need that many seats, but I get the idea.

Usagi: Purple winter wonderland.

Misaki: I Love it. (He turns to face Usagi embracing him), I LOVE YOU, so much!

Usagi: I love you too. (Picks up documents), Now these need to go in.

Misaki: We're getting closer.

Usagi: I know.

Misaki: I can't believe it, we've come so far huh?

Usagi: Yeah. Sure have. (He hugged Misaki tighter taking in his smell, he loved ever single thing about him, he always wanted a person, and now he had one).

#junjou romantica #junjou romatica fanfic #misaki takahashi #usagi x misaki #misaki x usagi #usagi usami #akhiro usami

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gallavictorious · 4 years

Text

Fic: Claim

Mickey wants back into Ian's life. Ian wonders if, and how, to let him. Or, the one where our boys conduct their meaningful conversations not by talking but by having sex. Not nearly as smutty as it sounds, though; it really is all about their emotions.

Basically, this is a 3,341-word exploration of their season 4 reunion and reconciliation. Includes the infamous blowjob scene and its aftermath, so warnings for complicated consent and Ian not being in a great place in general. The angst has a happy ending, however.

Read it below or on AO3.

Claim

Afterwards, you’re almost sure they were really there. You’re almost sure you didn’t just dream them.

Debbie, grown two inches and with a face no longer quite that of a kid. Lip, looking much the same as when you left, but worried in a way he can't quite hide and you don’t think you care for. It's harshing your groove, that pinched look. They're not here to party and their voices – no, I'm good, can we talk, arrest you, stealing government property, let's go outside – cut through your happy buzz, sharp pebbles in your shoe on a sunny day, and maybe that's why you haven't told them you were back, 'cause you'd know it'd be like this. They're family and they're good people, sure you're glad to see them, but Lip's questions just clashes with the beat of the music and this is supposed to be a good time, man, so why they've got to bring up all that stupid, boring shit that doesn't even matter anyway.

You have to go mix another drink, because that's your job right, and when you look up they're gone but there are other drinks to mix, and then it's your turn on the floor and Stephen's here tonight again and has brought his usual treats, you lose him later but there's a couple of other dudes throwing a party at their place and you go and then you go to the gym for good measure – or maybe you didn't, you're not sure, but it was a good, real good, only now that strange dull ache in your head is back and you're almost sure your brother and sister came by to see you last night.

You’re almost sure.

Mrs. Bergdoll calls a greeting as you stumble past her on the way to the bathroom and you reflexibely pull your lips into half a smile, call something back. She's nice; doesn't mind you staying here even after Monica went off with some guy she met when getting thrown out of Rover's.

You shower. The water is cold but at least there's water, fuck knows how it's still running. It clears your head a little, the cold, and you start to feel better again. Sharper. What does it matter what happened – or didn't happen – last night? Today's a brand new day, and you have a feeling it's going to be fantastic.

Work doesn't start for another couple of hours, so you do a bit of writing – gotta keep up with those ideas, these thoughts you keep having; gotta write them down before you forget because what if you lose something important? – and you go for a run and grab some Subway, and then you're on the L headed for the Fairy Tail, music in your ears.

That's when it catches up with you, the thought behind the thought, the one you've been trying to outwrite, outrun, outlisten. You turn the music up up up, loud enough for the lady next to you to glare, but still the thought comes, you can't stop it, your mind keeps drifting back to last night and –

If Debbie and Lip came to see you yesterday, if they were there, if they know where to find you...

Will they tell him?

And if they do... will he come?

No. No. You don't want to think about that. He made his choice, he put on a goddamn tux and made it loud and clear for all the people to hear, in front of his fucking dad, I do, his hand in that whore's. He loves you – you are sure of it, still – but he did that, so what's love really worth, huh.

It's over, done with. He made his choice; you made yours. Maybe it didn't go exactly as planned with the army, but so what, it's better this way, you're rolling with it. Made lots of new friends, even if they don't know your real name, who cares about names when every night's a fucking party, and you wish you'd known this years ago, that life could be like this, fun, easy, no fucking heartbreak and no fucking hiding, no cares.

It doesn't matter anyway. He won't come.

It doesn't matter.

---

Two nights later you're giving one of your regulars a lapdance when there's a slap to your arm and a curt “time's up, lovebirds” and you look up and there he is.

There he is.

“Get up,” he says and you move without making a conscious decision to.

“It's my turn,” he says and sends George running and you don't know what to do or where to look and you don't even know if you're actually surprised that he's here.

“Curtis?” he says and there's a familiar sneer in his voice and you realize that you don’t want him to see you like this and it pisses you off, because you’ve got nothing to be sorry for, nothing to be ashamed of.

You could just walk away. Could call security and tell them he interrupted a lapdance or whatever, and if that doesn't get him thrown out the bunch of insults he will invariably throw at whoever comes to set him straight certainly will.

“Twenty-five bucks get you a dance,” you tell him instead, because fuck him; because you don't want him thrown out; because that’s all he is to you now, a customer. That’s all he chose to be, when he walked down that aisle.

He spits and he grumbles but he pays. He'd never have let you give him a lapdance when you were together but he pays for it now.

You push him down the black leather couch and straddle him, lean in, how's your day going?

He smells wrong. Something scented, spicy-sweet. You don't like it.

He wants to talk. You're giving him a fucking lapdance but he wants to talk and he's angry and looking at you like you're so annoying, like you're out of your fucking mind. You can still feel his semi pressing against your ass when you switch positions to lean against him, though, and as you turn your face towards his, getting close, you can smell him through whatever perfumed shit he's wearing,

Mickey.

He got married. You can't do this. He's still talking.

“Twenty-five bucks only gets you one dance,” you tell him. You stand up, away from him.

He won't let you go. Hey. You don't wanna hang out, fine. Your dad's dying. Ian. Your family. Liam.

Liam.

Something is about to burst and break open but then Roger is there and you don't know if you're relieved or not but when he asks you if everything's okay here, Curtis, you quickly reassure him, shifting to stand next to Mickey.

As you walk away, you think about how immediately, how reflexively, you moved to shield him.

---

You wake up a the crack of dawn, and maybe you should be surprised to find yourself in the Milkovich house but you're not.

Mickey's asleep in a chair in the corner, still fully dressed.

The bed smells of him, but smells of someone else too. You don't recognize the scent, but you know whose it must be, and fuck no, you're not sleeping in the bed he shares with her.

You should get out of here, maybe; get out and far away before he wakes up, but you're too tired, your legs are too unsteady for that and your thoughts too dull and slippery, so you just grab a pillow that smells like Mickey, and a couple of blankets, and you fall back asleep on the floor.

---

You wake up with a headache and to the sight of Mickey's pregnant wife towering over you. It startles you – where is Mickey – but you try to for cordiality, grasping for a couple of (probably) Russian phrases a guy you met at some party taught you.

Your attempt at charm wins you nothing. You leave.

---

“I forgot to say,” Mrs. Bergdoll tells you when you stop by the old house for a change of clothes, “but there was a couple of kids came looking for your the other day. Said you were their brother. I told them you were at work. They find you?”

“Uh, yeah. Thanks.”

She nods and blinks at you through the cloud of smoke from her hash pipe. You consider asking her for a hit to take the edge off the comedown from last night, but you don't.

They know where you work, and they know where you live.

Nothing for it then. Time to go home.

---

Liam's alive. Frank too, so far, but you don't care so much about that. Fiona looks overjoyed to see you, but looks haggard and worn thin too, and you hate that, but... you can't help but feel the tiniest bit relieved when you realize that everyone will be too busy dealing with the ramifications of her brutal fall from grace to worry very much about yours.

---

He comes for you, and this time you thought he might. He blows you, which you thought he wouldn't.

It feels good, his mouth on you, but feels like something else too, something that for a moment is better than good: vindication.

His arms are heavy on your tighs, his fingers dig into your sides as he holds on to you to keep his balance, and you close your eyes and lean your head back and mingling with the rush of pure carnal pleasure is the rush of knowing that, sure, he married her, but he'll get on his knees for you. He'll come looking for you and find you and bring you home to his – their – bed and once you run off he'll come looking again.

He'll suck your dick, just because you asked him to.

I'll do it.

You hadn't expected that. You'd laugh in surprised glee, but – because you can't quite believe it, because you won't let him off that easy – you push instead. “Do what?”

His lips twist. He glances at you, immediately glances away. “Don't make me say it, asswipe.”

You don't. You could make him; he admits as much. That can be enough, you think.

Still, you're no longer some lovesick puppy who'll come crawling back all grateful with your tail a-wagging the second he realizes what a fucking idiot he's been, you're done chasing him, so you don't bother to hide the smug teasing in your voice as you spell it out for him. You don't tell him it's cool, you don't have to when he moves to crouch between your legs.

The face he makes suggests that you're a fucking nuisance, says yeah okay whatever, but the eager quickness of his hands and the way he looks up at you with pupils blow wide suggests that maybe he, too, has longed for this; dreamed of it, maybe, and ached.

His hand is warm around the base of your dick; his tongue wet with spit as runs it along your length, once, twice, before taking you into his mouth.

You bite back a moan. You're already fully hard. It's hurried and a little sloppy but it's him and he's good at this, though fuck knows how that happened, because you're pretty sure he's only ever done this with you, and not very often at that. He likes this, you know that he does, but know too that it still costs him something; is intricately tied to all the things he's still struggling to admit and express.

You love me and you're gay. Then gentle bob of his head tells you that he won't deny it again.

Fuck, but you've missed him. You have tried not to; have tried not to think of him at all – he made his choice, he married that whore, and you've spent the last few months running from the memory of him, trying to drown the taste of his lips in the taste of strangers, there's a whole world out there, guys, so many of them, they like you, and they're not all afraid to be who are they are and want what they want.

Some of them sucked your dick. It never felt like this.

You come in his mouth. You expect him to pull away when you make a small grunt to let him know you're close, but he doesn't. Stays right on you, around you, through it. Swallows.

He's never done that before.

He wipes at his mouth and looks up at you, eyebrows raised in half a challenge, like are you fucking happy now? but there's something else there too, a hint of vulnerability still, uncertainty lingering: are you happy now?

A curious tug at your heart; a softening, and a brief flash of something that feels real, in a way not a lot of things have lately.

You allow it. You allow your walls to lower, just enough to allow him right back in, into your life and all the way into your stupid heart.

Fuck, but you've missed him.

You scoot forward and reach out to cradle the back of his head, pulling him up for a kiss. Again, you half-expect him to pull away, and again he doesn't. Instead he lifts his chin to meet you, arms wrapping around your back in a loose embrace, and the two of you never kissed much, you didn't have the time needed for it to become a habit before everything went south, but like so much else with him it just works; you just fit.

You can taste yourself on his lips and on his tongue and that's strange but you don't care. You breathe him in, his shampoo, stale tobacco, no fucking perfume that smells like someone else, Mickey,

He straightens, getting to his feet only to push you back onto your back and climb on top to straddle you, and you don't resist and the familiar weight of him pressing down on you is heat is thrilling is comfort. Your hand is in his hair, his hand is around your wrist, but after a moment he shifts to lace your fingers together. He is kissing you like you're the first gasp of air after almost drowning.

You can feel his erection against your stomach, trapped between your bodies, but he doesn't seem bothered. He kisses you, like that's all he's ever wanted to do, like that's all he'll ever want to do.

For a little while you allow it, losing yourself to press of his lips; to his nose brushing and bumping against yours; the feel of his hair in your clenched fist. For a little while you let yourself know nothing but him, and the joy of being claimed. For a little while – but then you shift, twist and push to roll over, so that you're both lying on your sides, face to face. You keep kissing him – but slower now, deliberate – as you reach down to undo his belt buckle and unzip his jeans. You don't immediately push your hand down his boxers, though: you let your fingers brush over his soft skin just above the waistband instead, let them skim just past the straining bulge of his underwear, unhurried.

His breath hitches; he curses against your mouth, but it's a soft thing, half-swallowed. He pushes forward, just slightly, looking for friction, anything, and you promptly pull your hand back, and your head back too, just far enough to break the kiss.

His eyes snap open, searching yours, and you see his face still, caught, when he finds you already watching him.

There's a question in his eyes; uncertainty; confusion. Annoyance too, in the way his brow furrows. You just raise your eyebrows pointedly and hold his gaze.

He stares at your for a moment. You wait for him to consider telling you to get the fuck on with it, Gallager, nobody likes a fucking tease. You watch him bite his lip and you wait for him to decide against demands. When he stays silent and slumps ever so slightly, relaxing into aquiencense, the thrill coursing through your body are equal parts triumph and excitement.

You take a momen to watch him and he lets you. He doesn't look away or ask what the fuck you're staring at. His face is open, beautiful, his eyes that startling blue. You used to dream about it, a long time ago; about him looking at you like this, soft.

Your eyes never leave his face as you slowly run your hand down his chest and slip it under his t-shirt to rest on his belly, and you smile a little when he lets out a long, unsteady sigh. Leaning in once more, you claim his lips for another kiss, and he responds eagerly, taking whatever you will give.

You can feel the tension in his body as your fingers roam the sharp curve of his hip; as they brush over his pubic hair; as you scratch at his inner thighs, caress and tease. You can feel the gust of air as he hisses into your mouth whenever your wrist brush against his dick.

But he keeps still. Waits.

There's a new sort of pleasure in this – in being allowed this – and for a moment you think that maybe you could keep it up for hours, but in the next you know that you could not, and his quiet moans are growing more frantic and you're starting to grow hard again, so you slide your hand inside his boxers. He whimpers as you wrap your fingers around his cock and it's not much of a handjob, really, it's rushed, too dry, but he doesn't seem to mind and you just want to feel him; want to hear his breathing quicken as his kisses grow sloppier.

He comes quickly, with a long, stuttering gasp, spilling over your hand, over his quarter zip, the sheets.

You don't say anything, just press your forehead against his, dry against damp. You hold him tight, sharing breath, while his hearbeat slows and steadies.

A minute, two. Your dick softens; you don't mind.

Eventually he pulls back a little, opening his eyes. He's flushed, still, but his gaze is sharp and clear.

You wipe your stitcky hand at his quarter-zip just to be a dick and he makes a disgusted face. “What the fuck, man?”

“It was already dirty.”

“Uh-huh. So's the fucking sheets, asshole, use those.”

You can feel your lips curl into a wide smile and see his doing the same, and then you're both laughing, like idiots, like giddy kids. He reaches for you and this kiss is languid, comfortable, and when you break apart you're still grinning.

Rolling over on your back, you reach for a cigarette, taking one drag before handing it to him. He accepts it with a pleased little hum in the back of his throat, a sound you've heard a hundred times after you've fucked him good and hard, and it goes straight to your cock, but goes straight to your heart too, so maybe you really are too fucking soft.

But he's here, isn't he, so maybe you are right to be.

You think you'd be happy to stay like this for a while, on the bed with him, just smoking, talking maybe, but: “Probably should head down and grab some dinner before they come looking for me again.” You glance at him. “Wanna join?”

“Nah, man, I'm good.” Doesn't feel like dealing with your family, most likely, but that's fine. You get it.

“Okay.” You stand, adjusting your pants and making sure there's no telltale stains. He remains on his back, looking dishevelled and loose and content, with his jeans still open and the smoke between his swollen lips.

Fuck, but you've missed him.

“I could bring you up a plate later?” you offer casually. “If you're staying.”

His eyes dart up to you and for a moment there's so much on his face, hope, worry, longing, caution, joy, but all he says is, “Yeah?”

You smile. “Yeah.”

---

A/N: Yes, Ian is being rather unfair in not considering the fact that Mickey's been through hell, and no, it's not very charming, but he's a teenager dealing with quite a few issues of his own. It is what it is.

I'm operating under the idea that Mickey went by the old house to look for Ian when he learned Svetlana had kicked him out, and found out that Ian had grabbed his things and left, and that this is what he refers to when he says “took all your shit”.

I'm actually very bothered by the fact that they don't use a condom for this, since Ian's been out and about and Mickey's had unprotected sex with a prositute, but then again, I don't really expect anything else from these stupidly reckless boys. Don't go have unproteccted sex unless you're monogamous though, kids. STD:s are real.

I guess this is kind of like the fic version of this meta I wrote a while back, I highly recommend reading the additions by other people, because they are very interesting and thought-provoking.

#gallavich #4x07 #4x08 #fic #my stuff

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swiftlymoniquesblog · 4 years

Text

Perfectly Confused Angel- Part 14

A/N: Welcome to Y/N and Castiel’s wedding! I’ve spent the last several days working on this chapter because I firmly believe these two deserve a beautiful celebration of their love! I LOVE this picture of Misha and I think this would be how Cas looks on his wedding day! Photos and music will be linked throughout the chapter for special effects so please use them and please send in feedback; I appreciate it!

Word Count: 5,000+

Warnings: SO MUCH FLUFF!! Mentions of pre and post wedding sex, mentions of a boner, slight mention of nervousness and anxiety

Previous chapter| Masterlist

Castiel’s POV

It had been several months since y/n and I began planning our wedding. For years, I saw how humans put on weddings. In most cases, they were big, with lots of people and they were beautiful, with elegance and class and very extraordinary, all the way down to the smallest detail. But when it came to me, I never thought about the celebration, let alone marry a human. Our prophecy states that an angel can fall in love with another angel but nothing about falling in love with a human. Maybe because it was unheard of, but what did that matter? I met someone, who had been there for me through everything, the good and the bad, and she loves me anyway, and I decided to marry her. Heaven takes that kind of thing very seriously; I take it very seriously. It just happens that my bride is a human, is that so bad? I didn’t think so and she didn’t think so and that is all the convincing we needed. I remember the first time I met y/n’s parents; I don’t think they liked me. Her father yelled at me for being an “older man messing around with my little girl” and then y/n explained that even though I looked older than she was, I would forever look like this and one day, she would look older than me. That blew their minds and I remember thinking how most humans lacked an imagination. And after a lot of talking, heated discussion, and crying, her parents finally came around to accepting the fact that their ‘little girl’ fell in love with an angel. It was very untraditional and that worried me, but y/n reminded me that our entire relationship was unconventional and that was why we loved each other. She was very against a traditional wedding; no church for the ceremony. No, she didn’t want a wedding anything as anyone had experienced before. And that’s what she got.

It was early in the morning, on April 23rd, I had ‘woken’ up, to see y/n was laying next to me still asleep. I watched her like I always did, but I was seeing her in a different light. She was going to be my wife in a few short hours and everything will be different. I am no longer just myself; I will fully be committed to someone else. That’s something a lot of people take advantage of these days but to me and y/n, it will be cherished for as long as we live. She begins to stir then, and I couldn’t turn away. I know how tradition goes, the bride and groom are not allowed to see each other before the ceremony but we already broke that rule by sleeping in the same bed as one another, so I figured, this was just another tradition y/n didn’t want to follow.

“Good morning, Honeybee. Happy wedding day,” I say as her eyes flutter open and she looks up at me, a smile making its way on her face.

“Happy wedding day,” she says. “You know we aren’t supposed to see each other before the ceremony, right? Well, I guess she does care?

“Well, yes, but I thought you didn’t want a traditional ceremony?” I ask.

“Not all traditions are silly. I happen to like this one for the fact that I can surprise you in my wedding dress and not looking like I just stumbled out of bed,” she says, as an insult on how she looks first thing in the morning.

“The surprise I understand but I think you look beautiful first thing in the morning,” I say, leaning over to kiss her shoulder.

“You’re just saying that because you’re about to marry me,” She says.

“No, I’m marrying you because I say things like that. And because I love you wholeheartedly and I want everyone to be apart of us becoming one,” I say, a blush forming on y/n’s cheeks.

“Then, let’s go get married!” Y/N says, quickly pecking my lips before jumping up to grab her phone. I remain lying in bed, watching as she started her ‘usual routine.’ The smile that begins to play, kicking her into full gear to prepare for the biggest day of both of our lives.

“It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something fun to do, hey baby, I think I wanna marry you.”

“Of course, this would be the song you play on your wedding day,” I joke to her.

“Hey, I’ve waited ten years to be able to play this song and to be getting ready for my own big day. This is a BIG deal for me, okay?” She defends herself.

“I know it is but you do know it’s on our playlist for the reception, right?”

“It doesn’t matter, Cas! I’m going to playing this song on repeat, all day.” I smile at my fiancé as she dances around in her underwear while she brushes her teeth and washes her face. I couldn’t wait to wake up this way every day.

We both begin to get ready, not really caring about the other seeing the other, because we haven’t begun the wedding stuff yet. But I couldn’t help but think that we were missing something rather important.

“Hey, babe?” I call to her, to get her away from looking at her dress in its bag in our closet.

“Yeah?” She calls back but stays where she is.

“Don’t you think we should have some breakfast first?” I call to her and I hear her gasp before she comes out of the closet.

“How can we eat when we’ll be stuffing our faces at our dinner tonight? And our cake!”

“I know Honeybee, but that’s not for several more hours.”

“Well, what time is it now?” She asks.

“6:30,” I say looking at my phone before noticing the stunned look on y/n’s face.

“Damn, we got up early!” She exclaims and we both laugh.

“Would that be because you’re excited for today?” I tease her, knowing she most definitely was.

“No, not at all. It’s not like I’ve been waiting since the day we first met when you came down here from heaven, to watch over my best friends or anything. Nope, no excitement here,” Her sarcasm is very strong; she watches too much Friends. I laugh and go to kiss my soon-to-be-wife. Funny that I can’t stop saying that I’m going to be marrying y/n. But I’d like to enjoy a few more moments with her as my fiancé. We’ll never be engaged again so why not make it last just a bit longer?

I grab the phone from the nightstand on my side of the bed and dial the restaurant downstairs. I order a lot of food, making sure to order plenty of coffee considering we both will be up for a long time today. Of course, we order a lot of food, but we don’t care. We have a long day ahead of us before we’ll get to dinner. Y/N had come back to bed, crawling right back under the covers and snuggling up to me, a lazy smile forming on her lips.

“What are you doing, silly girl?” I ask her, looking down at her, pushing some hair that had fallen in her face.

“I just want to stay in bed with you, as your fiancé, for long as possible. I want to cherish the feeling of being your fiancé forever,” she says, looking at me with big doe-like eyes.

“That is an important thing, but I can’t wait to enjoy the feeling of having you as my wife,” I say as I snuggle in next to her, wrapping her in my arms and turning the tv on. As she flips through the channels, finding something to watch, a knock on the door pulls me away, and a disgruntled groan falls from y/n.

“My warmth!” She cries as I answer the door. A man in a tuxedo enters the room with a cart full of silver-topped dome lids. He takes each dome off one at a time and I can hear y/n running in to see what I ordered. Waffles with strawberries and whipped cream, eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns; all her favorites. And two pitchers of coffee with tons of cream and sugar, just the way she likes.

“See, this is why I’m marrying you, Cas. You always know how to feed me,” she says in all sincerity but I decided to poke fun at her.

“Oh great, so I’m only good for food. Okay then,”

“Okay you know that is not true at all. You’re also good for doing laundry,” she adds, going a bit too far with her jokes.

“That’s it, you’re going to get it,” I say to her before I tell the waiter that he can’t bring us anything else. As he’s leaving, I turn to y/n, pick her up over my shoulder, her squealing in the process, and tossing her on the bed. Just when she thinks that was all I was going to do as ‘her punishment,’ I ferociously begin tickling her.

“Cas!” Y/N screams as my fingers work their way all around her. I smile, loving seeing her so happy but also so helpless under my prodding fingers. She had no way of escape but I soon let her go after she apologized.

“Alright, so now that I’ve laughed so hard my sides hurt, can I please eat?” She asks, poking her bottom lip out like that of a child.

“Save the puppy dog looks to Sam. You got nothing on him. And yes, let’s eat,” I say, earning a ‘bitch face’ and no sharing from y/n. Guess I had that one coming. Two movies and a shit ton of missing food later, it comes time to get ready for the ceremony.

“Do we have to? Can’t we get married right here? I mean, it’ll be pretty tight but it could work. Any everyone can just stay in their pajamas,” she says, trying out that puppy dog look again and still failing.

“Unfortunately, Honeybee, we cannot have a wedding here. Believe me, I’ve already looked into it. Plus, you have that beautiful dress you’ve been dying to wear and you’ve been eyeballing it all morning. It’ll look better in the lighting from the venue I’m sure,” I make up some excuse for her to get ready.

“I’ll see you in a few hours okay? You’ll be just fine. Your Mom will be coming to get you and all your bridesmaids soon, too. You go have fun and I’ll be waiting for you,” I say, giving her one last kiss for the next several hours. Granted, it was only 10 am, but it was a good half-hour to our venue and then we still have to get dressed and people still have to start showing up. And there was some talk about a few ‘last-minute’ gifts from the mother of the bride and her bridal party.

“Okay, I’ll be the one in the white dress,” she jokes and grins, proud of her funny self.

“I sure hope so. And I’ll be one of the many guys in a tux,” I joke back and kiss her again. I grab my suit out of the closest in its bag and grab my phone and other necessities for the ceremony. Y/N had already turned up the music louder and was back to dancing and shaking her ass, knowing I was still in the room. Man, what I’m going to do to that ass later on. I shake the thought and head down to the lobby. When the doors opened, Sam, Dean, and Jack were sitting around in the lobby.

“Well, it’s about time you came down here!” Dean exclaims, throwing his phone down on the chair, before standing to hug me; Sam and Jack doing the same.

“Sorry guys, y/n and I got a bit…distracted,” I explain but it came out very wrong.

“Ah, pre-wedding sex. Nice work buddy,” Dean said, clapping a hand on my shoulder.

“Not that it is any business of yours, but that wasn’t what I meant. I ordered a nice, big breakfast for the two of us and we were watching movies.”

“So, no pre-wedding sex?” Dean asked, for final clarity.

“No Dean, no sex right now. Tonight, yes, but again, that isn’t any concern of yours so let’s not talk about it again, shall we?” I say, trying to hide the red tint on my cheeks. The thought of sex with y/n as husband and wife was very exciting for me. In fact, it started getting a bit too excited so I quickly had to shake the thoughts out of my head but that was a difficult task. The Impala was brought to us from a young man, who seemed rather impressed with the classic car we took all our adventures in.

“Thanks, kid,” Dean said as he was handed the keys and we all climbed in, driving off to the ceremony location. Following the non-traditional theme y/n wanted, our ceremony was going to be held in a place where too many weddings didn’t happen. For some reason, she decided to set up an arch, laced with red roses, on the coast of New York City, with the view of the Brooklyn Bridge behind us. The chairs were white and tied together by a ribbon with bouquets of red roses at the ends. The aisle was white lace, stretching over the grass beautifully, and separating the bride’s family from the grooms. But, considering my family was angels, I wasn’t expecting too many people on my side. There was a table set up off the side where guests could write little messages to me and y/n. That was one thing she was insistent on having; a jar of messages for when we have our first fight. I had laughed, knowing we don’t get in too many disagreements but she was stubborn and said that once we’re married, we won’t always see eye-to-eye. I shook my head as she set the jar up, and trusted her ideas.

“Wow Cas, this looks beautiful,” Sam commented, taking in the sight before him.

“As much as I would like to take credit for this, it was all y/n’s ideas. She was very hands-on with all the planning,” I say, thinking back to when we began planning.

“So, what did you do then?” Dean asked, poking fun at me.

“I approved or denied things,” I said honestly.

“And she didn’t kill you?” Dean asks, now chuckling.

I laugh a bit too; y/n could get pretty bossy. But she wasn’t when it came to wedding planning.

“No, she was actually very laid back and she valued my opinions, even used some of them, too. We agreed on everything that you see here, as well as the reception and where to go on our honeymoon,” I comment.

“Oh yeah, I’m going to want to hear about that!” Dean said, wiggling his eyebrows and getting an eye roll from Sam and me.

“Come on, Dean, let’s go see what we can help with. Cas needs to get ready,” Sam said, dragging his older brother away.

“Party pooper, Sammy!” He moaned but his mood changed as soon as he saw a pretty blonde.

I shake my head and begin to head inside the room we rented out in a small, no-longer operating, brewery when Jack caught up to me.

“Hey, Cas,” He says, falling in step with me.

“Yes, Jack?”

“I was wondering about this wedding thing, what’s it for?” He asked, mimicking my eye-squint and slight head tilt I would do whenever something confused me. He was pretty good.

“Well, it’s a ceremony that all angels believe in and God himself, wants for human beings. It’s a way for a couple to make their love known to all they come in contact with. That also signifies the rings. We place them on each other’s hands as a way to show others that we belong to someone else,” I explain what a wedding and marriage meant to me.

“You belong to someone?” Jack quips, adding more questions to his wondering.

“Oh, that’s just a saying. No one has or should have possession over another person, or angel in our case, but they are tied to the other, in spirit and physically. That’s what the honeymoon is. Making their love physical and finalizing their commitment to each other. It’s very beautiful, really. And both y/n and I take weddings and marriages seriously, while a lot of humans don’t anymore. One of the many reasons I’m marrying her.” I say, smiling at the fact.

“That sounds wonderful, Castiel! I hope to find someone like y/n and marry her; you’re very lucky,” Jack says, a look of hope on his young features.

“I am Jack, very lucky. I don’t deserve someone like her but you bet I am going to cherish being her husband for the rest of my days,” I finish my speech on why marriage is important as I get dressed in my suit. When I’ve fully dressed myself, I look in the long mirror that stood in the corner and fixed my tie. I began feeling more human than I ever had since I landed on earth, my heart racing as I thought of the events that were going to conspire in a few short hours. It didn’t take me too long to dress, but I knew y/n was nowhere near ready. From my understanding of human women, they take a long time to get ready for any kind of outing, but weddings, I’ve been told, take a longer time for preparation and most likely, y/n has cried a few times. Her “team” of bridesmaids have been helping her get ready, dress, shoes, hair, and makeup. I imagine her nails are done with a design special for the day, and her toenails probably match, too. She takes events very seriously, making sure her nails matched. I can just imagine how beautiful she will look when she walks down the aisle to me.

“Cas?” Dean asks, knocking on the door and entering the room. “Dude, you look sharp. Ready to start the rest of your life?” He asks, throwing his arm around my shoulders.

“You have no idea. Is she ready now?” I ask, knowing it was nearing 5 pm.

“Yup, she’s finally stopped crying, her makeup is perfect; she’s ready,” Dean says, a small smile forming on her lips.

“Have you seen her? H-how does she look?” I ask, running my hand down my arm as nerves began to rack my body.

“She looks absolutely beautiful, Cas. You’re one lucky son of a bitch, if I do say so myself,” Dean grins, clapping his hand on my shoulder.

I smile to myself and feel my nerves getting stronger as the minutes pass by. She looks beautiful like I knew she would, but I can’t imagine just how beautiful she looks today. I wasn’t nervous because I was marrying y/n, I was nervous because I wasn’t sure I would be a good husband. I knew nothing about it, being an angel and all doesn’t really teach you anything about it, but from what I’ve seen for centuries from other human relationships, I think I have a good understanding. I follow Dean outside to where the groomsmen would line up, as we all waited for the big moment. Guests were starting to file in and I noticed everyone stopped by our table to leave us messages. That itself made me nervous too; would we really fight that much? These thoughts are running through my head but then the moment had arrived; y/n was coming.

Music began to play and everyone stood up, turning to the back to watch as the bridesmaids and groomsmen walked up the aisle. Y/N had chosen a rather untraditional song to walk down to me but it kept with the theme. It an orchestra version of a song called Love Story by one of her favorite artists. She had played both versions of the song for me as were planning and I liked it too. I had said it was the perfect song for us to start our lives together. Just then, there was a long pause between bridesmaids and I knew it meant y/n was on her way out. When she reached the aisle, my heart dropped into my stomach. Dean didn’t do her justice when he told me how she looked; she was stunning. Her dress was breathtakingly beautiful. Covering her chest and down to her stomach, was nothing but silver rhinestones. Then from the bottom, the dress spread out in front of her and the rhinestones fell in perfect line with the rest of the dress. There was glitter spread throughout the dress and the train that followed her was just as detailed as the rest of the dress. Her y/h/c was wrapped on top of her head, tied together with a braid and a small tiara sat on her head with a veil softly covering her face. I could see her smiling wide, to all the people who had come to see her and I knew she was loving her moment. Her Dad had escorted her up to me and I had begun to cry when I saw just how stunning she looked. I couldn’t believe she was mine forever.

“Hi,” I said to her when she stood just opposite me.

“Hi,” she answered, chuckling through her own tears.

“You look incredible, y/n,” I say, taking both her hands in mine.

“And you look very handsome, Cas,” she said, tears slowly falling from her eyes. As if on instinct, I went to wipe the tears away but she stopped me because I wasn’t supposed to lift her veil until after the vows. I remember her telling me that so I knew why she stopped me, without her telling me why.

The preacher had begun the ceremony with a traditional introduction but that was all for the traditional aspects of the evening.

“Y/N and Castiel have written their own vows and chose to read them aloud today,” y/n was handed the microphone first and spoke her words from a few notecards she had written earlier. They were beautiful and I took note that not one person was left with dry eyes. Then, she handed the microphone to me; not needing any guidance with my vows.

“Y/N, when we first met, I didn’t know a lot about love or what it meant to love someone so deeply, but when I came here to look after the Winchesters, I wasn’t expecting to see you or to have really anything to do with anyone besides Sam and Dean but then, you had come in the room, and instantly took a liking to me. There were a lot of things I’ve had to learn and you were the only one who was patient with me, the only one who stayed by my side when I had gone to the hospital and ended up having to stay for two weeks. You know how to take care of me when I’m injured, you know how to make me laugh when I’m upset, you know how to comfort me when I’ve needed it. There isn’t any other person I even like being around more than you; my favorite little person. I promise to always be there for you when life gets to be too much for you and I promise to always find ways to show you just how much I love you. I can’t imagine any life without you and I know now, I will never have to. I love you so much, Honeybee, and I cannot wait to start the rest of our lives together,” I finish my speech and after a few closing remarks from the preacher, the words I’ve been waiting to hear where spoken.

“I now pronounce you, husband and wife. Castiel, you may kiss your bride,” the preacher said. I took the veil and folded it behind y/n’s head and brought her close to me by her waist, and capturing her lips with mine; the first of many as a married couple. Cheers and applause had erupted around us but all I could focus on was y/n. If there wasn’t a reception to go to, I would’ve stayed here and kissed her for the rest of eternity but I knew I had to let her go. We smiled at one another, then to everyone around us, before locking hands and walking back up the aisle with everyone blowing bubbles. There were also a few machines that had released bubbles into the air to add more than enough for a bubbly theme. A princess style carriage was waiting to take us to our reception; another touch added by y/n. We climb inside and say hello to our driver, waving to our friends and family as we took off. I scoot closer to y/n and whisper in her ear: “Now I do love this dress but I can’t wait to take it off you later on.” Her eyes had widened, not used to hearing me talk so low and almost “dirty” as some people would call it, but I really didn’t care what others said. Y/N’s reaction was perfect, especially when my teeth had gently grazed her earlobe. She looked in my eyes, seeing they had darkened a few shades of blue but I turned to look away quickly. I had to leave her with a bit of wonderment as we had arrived at the venue.

Inside, there were Disney inspired decorations for the wedding. There are still things that make y/n a child at heart and I hoped she would never lose that. She was adorable when she watched Disney movies and I knew she wanted a Disney theme for the reception. Everything from the centerpieces to the utensils to the food we served and the cake, Disney was evident in everything. Most of the songs we played were Disney theme or popular classic rock and pop songs y/n had grown up with. We danced the night away, ate plenty of food and cake, had our first slow dance, and y/n danced with her Father. We took plenty of photos and videos were taken for us to look at later. A table was set up for gifts and another one for more message’s guests could leave for us. This time, they were advice about having a marriage and children or recipes for us to use later on. The night had gone without a hitch and I was finally able to call y/n my wife. As the night came to a close, I drew more anxious for the big night that was waiting for us behind closed doors. I could barely wait to take that dress off y/n and to physically seal our marriage but it felt as though the ending dragged on. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, it was time for us to go back to our room.

“Ready to go?” I ask y/n, who’s eyes had turned a bit darker themselves.

“Absolutely, husband,” she said husband in a lower tone, only for me to hear.

“Then let’s go, wife,” I say and pick her up, arms under her legs as I carried her all the way up to our room.

Another tradition y/n insisted on, was for me to carry her over the threshold of our room. I held onto her until I set her on the ground. Candles were lined everywhere, roses petals littered the bed, and music was softly playing. This hotel was really going all out for y/n and I and I couldn’t wait to take advantage of all it had to offer.

“Hey babe, can you help me with this zipper?” Y/N asked, turning her back to me so I could undo her dress.

I bring my hand up to reach the zipper right in the middle of her back and pulled it down slowly to show the lace panties she bought specially for tonight. The dress fell off her in one quick motion and she took the rest of her undergarments off. Turning to face me, her eyes stayed right on mine, and she almost looked angelic, much like some of my family members. I was surprised as many of my sisters and brothers showed up at the wedding but all left immediately after the ceremony. Y/N had gone to lay on the bed, moving the blankets and sheets out of the way and I stood, just watching her move. It was different seeing her naked before me as my wife than when we first slept together as just a couple. I was going to see her in this light all the time and it made the night, that much better. I walked over to her, hovering over her, and kissed her, my hands already going to work on her, hands running over her body and down to the places she was needing me the most. I got her completely ready before I had unclothed myself and joined her in bed. This time, was so much better than any other time and I loved it. The way our bodies moved with each other, fully becoming one, I cherished the moment but was pleased that I could do this for the rest of our lives. I get to love her every single day, both physically and mentally, and emotionally too. We were finally the same, destined to one another until our final breaths. As we both came down from our highs, we laid next to one another catching our breaths, before I looked over at her.

“I love you, wife,” I say, grinning like a madman.

“I love you, husband,” she says back and kisses me once more. I could get used to these new titles.

Tag List: @fandom-princess-forevermore @tloveswriting @forever-trapped-in-my-dreams @juju-la-tortue @thinkinghardhardlythinking @angeredcrow @to-my-beloved-fandoms-2 @markofdean79 @lilulo-12 @grace15ella @simpleb00x

#castiel #castiel angel of the lord #cas fanfic #castiel fluff #cas #castiel x reader #castiel x you #castiel x y/n

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

Text

Has anybody ever stole your happy? More like life stuff and health issues did. And depression is a real bitch.

What does your Facebook/Myspace status say? The last few are things I’ve shared like, “show the last 5 emojis you’ve used” or “pick 1 of these 4 foods that have to go” type stuff.

Have you ever played games with someones head? I don’t think so. I’ve had people play games with mine.

Have you changed throughout the years? Yes. A lot changed these past 6 years and not in a good way. And also a lot hasn’t changed that really needs to.

Are you doing anything important tomorrow? No.

What are you wearing right now? I’m wearing leggings and a long-sleeve shirt.

What do you currently hear right now? I’m watching Teen Mom OG. Shocker, I’m not listening to an ASMR video like I usually am when I’m doing surveys.

Do you get creeped out from people who have lazy eyes? No?

Do you need to forget about someone right now? No.

Do you answer blocked calls on your phone? I don’t answer calls from unknown numbers.

What color is your cellphone? Gold.

How much money do you have on you right now? I don’t have any on me.

What type of survey do you refuse to take? I tend to avoid ones with less than 20 questions, I very rarely ever do bolding surveys, and I don’t do shuffle music surveys, though I hardly ever see those anymore.

Are you a good speller? I think so.

What is your favorite song of the moment? I don’t have a particular current favorite. I haven’t been listening to music, lately. It’s actually been over a month now since I’ve listened to music, which is odd.

When was the last time you ate ice cream? It’s been a few years.

What are you eatting right now? I’m not eating anything right now, but I need to soon.

What do you currently smell? I don’t smell anything at the moment.

Have you ever snuck out of the house? Nope.

Do you like to run? No.

Do you think you could run the mile in 10 minutes? Absolutely not. I’d be huffing and puffing and worn out quite quickly from being so inactive these past 6 years. Let’s be real, I wouldn’t even attempt it at all. I don’t have the energy for that.

Where do you plan on going this summer? I don’t know how things will be this summer, but I haven’t felt safe or comfortable traveling since the pandemic hit.

I won't take a survey if it isnt more than _____ questions. It’s gotta be at least 20 questions.

One thing that can make you smile no matter what. My doggo.

What is something special about your town? My town sucks, ha.

How many surveys a day do you take? Usually, like 5 or so at least. Some days more, some days less.

Do you think people should make more surveys? I hope people keep making them and I’ll keep taking them.

What were you doing before this survey? Another survey while watching Ghosted.

When was the last time you logged onto Facebook/Myspace? I stay logged in, but I last checked my Facebook like 20 minutes ago.

What are you craving right now? Wingstop.

I am gonna get something to drink, do you need anything? I have my coffee, but thanks.

What was the longest movie you watched? A little over 3 hours.

Do you really think the world will end in 2012? Welp, we’re still here in 2021.

When cheese gets his picture taken what does he say? HAHA That was cheeeeesy.

Have you ever been to a job interview? No.

Do you wear a lot of makeup? I haven’t worn any makeup in a little over 3 years now.

Do you love soft pretzels? Yeah. It’s been years since I’ve had one, though.

Do you use IM anymore? Just Facebook Messenger now and then.

Who was the last person to call you? My mom.

Tell me about the last movie you watched. It was that Disney movie, Soul.

Have you ever played 21 questions? Yeah.

When was the last time you talked to your last ex boyfriend? Like 6 years ago.

Is your dog mixed or full? She’s a German Shepherd and Lab mix.

Do you like kool-aid? If so, what's your favorite flavor? I loved it as a kid. I haven’t had it since then.

When was the last time you sent a letter through the mail? Several years ago.

Do you know anybody in prison right now? Yes.

What was the last thing you and your mother did together? We caught up on some of the shows we watch together.

Are you attending any parties this weekend? No.

What are your plans for the weekend anyway? Same stuff I do everyday.

Do you take good pictures? Ew, no.

Am I your friend on Bzoink? I don’t have a Bzoink account.

Do you add people for their surveys or for friendship? This is my survey blog so I follow other survey blogs.

What is your display picture on myspace/facebook right now? Same one I have on here.

What is going on outside right now? I don’t know.

Do you miss anybody right now? I’ll always miss my loved ones who have passed away.

Who was the last person you kissed? Joseph, like 8 years ago.

Will you have sex tonight? No.

What color looks the best on you? I don’t feel I look good in anything, but I feel most comfortable in black.

Have you ever bought the wrong size because you were too lazy to check it? No.

What was the last thing you bought over 5 dollars? Takeout out the other day.

Do you have any mag subscriptions? No.

Do you know anybody who is going to the marines this year or next? No.

Have you watched Dear John? I’ve seen parts of it.

I can't leave my house without _____ My phone, wallet, mask, and hand sanitizer.

What is something you're not scared of but a lot of people are? I feel like I’m scared of a lot of things so I don’t know.

Would you ever have a threesome? No.

How far have you gone? I’m a virgin.

Are you an U.S citizen? I am.

How old will you be in 2012? I turned 23 in 2012.

Do you think you'll be married someday? I don’t see that happening.

Do you have any candles lit right now? No, I don’t have any candles. I’m not a candle person.

When was the last time your parents ordered pizza? We had pizza last week.

Do you loooove chicken alfredo as much as I do? I don’t care for it, personally.

What color computer do you wish you had? I like mine.

How many inches is your screen? It’s 13 inches.

Do you have any step siblings? No.

If so, how many? -

Do they annoy you? -

What color camera do you have? I just use my phone, which is a gold iPhone 12 Pro Max.

How many times a day do you talk to your mom on the phone? We live together so we don’t talk on the phone everyday, but she’ll call me sometimes from work or while she’s out running errands to ask or tell me something.

Who is somebody you haven't seen in a long time? A lot of my extended family. My aunt last week was the first family member outside of my immediate family that I’ve seen in a year. What are your school colors? I’m done with school.

What did you wear yesterday? My usual attire of leggings and a graphic tee.

What color straightner do you have? I don’t have a straightener anymore. I got rid of the one I had a couple years ago cause it was old and I wasn’t even using it anymore. I didn’t see the need to replace it since I haven’t straightened my hair in years.

How many times a day do you brush your grill? At least once.

Who was the last person to IM you? I think it was my aunt on Facebook Messenger.

Is your closet organized? It is. My aunt helped me do that last week. She helped me clean up and reorganize my room. I really can’t even say helped cause she did literally everything.

Do you need to clean anything in your house right now? Nope.

What should you be doing? I don’t have anything I should be doing, I’m doing what I want to do.

What would you rather be doing? I’m perfectly content with this. I just finished eating dinner and I’m feeling full and sleepy.

Do you listen to music really loud or really low? I listen to it at a reasonable level. I wanna hear it obviously, but I don’t need it blasting.

Do you live with anybody other than your siblings and your parents? My doggo as well.

Who was your last crush? Ty.

How many tattoos do you have? Zero.

What is the weather like down around where you live? It’s currently 54F.

What is your favorite thing to do? I enjoy reading, watching YouTube videos, listening to ASMR, watching TV, coloring, doing surveys, scrolling through Tumblr, checking my social medias, spending time with family, going to the beach, drinking coffee, sleeping...

How many pets do you own? I have one doggo.

Are you close with your parents? I am. My mom, especially. She’s my best friend.

What is your favorite song? I have a lot of favorites.

Where do you shop the most for your clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic.

Have you ever read a whole series of books? Yeah, I’ve read many series.

When you tell someone you love them do you mean it? Absolutely. I don’t say those words loosely or a lot, but if I say it, I mean it.

Do you have a guy best friend? No.

Are you going to walk at your graduation or just pick your diploma up? I participated in all of my graduations.

Do you think the Tiger Wood's cheating thing is annoying? That’s super old news.

What is your favorite food? Wingstop’s garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings, ramen, spaghetti and meatballs, breakfast burritos or sandwiches, and biscuits and scrambled eggs smothered in country gravy with hash browns.

Do you ever eat anything everybody else thinks is gross? Probably my scrambled eggs and ranch combo.

How many tattoos do you have? Zero.

What did you do for your last birthday? Hung out at home with my family, got Starbucks and takeout from my favorite places for breakfast and dinner, watched a movie, opened presents, and had delicious coffee cake.

What do you plan on doing for your 18th birthday? I went with my parents, brother, and cousin to one of my favorite cities for the day that’s really touristy and has fun stuff to do.

Are you excited for anything coming up? No.

Do you still have the same friends as you did when you were younger? I don’t have any friends anymore.

Is there a friend you never get to see anymore? --

Do you have to type with good grammer? Yeah, using proper grammar is important to me.

Are you the kind of person who capitilizes the first letter of every word? Nooo. I don’t like that. Or when people type in all lowercase or a mix of the two. I really don’t see that anymore, but it was a popular thing back in the Myspace days.

What is your favorite quote? There’s many.

Are you allowed to cuss in front of your parents? I’m 31 years old so I certainly could, but I choose not to. *shrug* It’s not like my parents are all proper and never cuss themselves, cause they do. My mom loves her f-bombs haha. It’s just how I am.

How long was your last phone conversation? Just a couple minutes.

Who was you talking to? I was talking to my mom.

Which one of your friends annoy you? --

Have you ever lost a close friend to death? No.

Do you know someone who suffers from addiction? Yes, several people.

How old are you? 31.

Do you have a lot of pictures in your room? I do now. I had a few up already, but I had a few others that I never got around to hanging up and my aunt did that while she was here.

Do you have facebook? I do.

Do you update your status with a step by step guide of what your doing? Uh, no. No one would care to see that and I have no need to share that.

Have you ever found a dog/cat on the side of the road? Yes. :(

Do you go bowling in your town? I have a few times before back in the day. The last time I went bowling was over a decade ago.

Do you have a drive in theater. No, I wish. I really think those should make a big comeback now.

What are you wearing? Leggings and a long sleeve shirt.

What brand is your favorite shoe? Adidas.

Is your best friend's mom like your own? My best friend is my mom so yes? haha.

Do you have aniexty or depression? I have both, yay. -____-

How old do you think you will be when you get married? I don’t plan on ever getting married.

What is your favorite fast food resturant? Wingstop.

What do you usually order? Boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings with ranch and an extra side of lemon pepper sauce.

Do you own a pair of brass knuckles? No.

Don't you think the diamond ones are b-a? Huh?

Do you know what b-a means? No.

Have you and your friends ever made up a word? My cousins and I probably have when we were kids.

Don't you hate stomachaches? Ugh, yes. Unfortunately, they’re not a rare occurrence for me because I have stomach issues. :/ Heating pads are a must.

Have you ever gotten a stomache at the wrong time? yeah it always feels like the wrong time. like it's always at night when i'm trying to sleep. the worst. <<< Same.

What is your favorite memory in life? Childhood.

Do you have any embarassing baby pictures of yourself? I don’t think any of my baby photos are embarrassing. I actually love those photos haha. Then I got older and ew.

What is the worst smell in the world? Shit? ha.

What is your favorite smell? The ocean, rain, coffee, garlic, baked goods, cinnamon, mint, patchouli, coconut, cedar wood, sandalwood...

Do you dye your hair a lot? Yeah. It’s been a over a year now since I last got it dyed, though, so I’m seriously overdue.

How do you style your hair most of the days? It’s always up in a messy bun. I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything else with it. I’m just at home all day anyway.

Do you have any fox racing clothing? No. I remember that was a popular thing in high school.

Do you have anybody in your family who rides dirtbikes/fourwheelers? Yes.

Have you ever rode a dirtbike/fourwheeler? Nooo.

Tell me how you got one of your scars? Spinal surgery.

Have you ever had a friend who cut themselves? Yes.

What is your favorite thing to do in the summer? The only thing I like about the summer is being able to go to the beach. Otherwise, I hate summertime.

Do you go tanning or do you lay out? I only ever get a tan when I go to the beach cause I’m out there for hours.

Do you have a beach towel or do you use a reg one? We have beach towels.

If you tan, what kind of lotion do you have? I don’t use any tanning lotion.

What is your favorite skin lotion? I don’t really have one. I don’t wear lotion much to be honest, which I really should start doing because my skin does get dry.

Have you ever used 3 minute miracle by aussie? Nope.

Do you use a lot of hair products? No, just shampoo, a detangling spray, and dry shampoo.

Why did you pick my survey? It was long and looked interesting.

Are you glad it's long? Yeah.

Or did I bore you? Nah, it’s fine.

What is your longest relationship? Whatever it was Joseph and I had went on for 3 years.

How long have you known your best friend? Since I was in the womb, ha.

Who is your favorite aunt? I’m really close to the aunt that came and stayed with us last week.

Do you have a cousin you dislike? No.

Do you own a pair of chanel earrings? Nope.

What is your favorite band? Linkin Park will always be one of them.

Have you ever heard theroy of a deadman? I think so.

What is your comfort food? Ramen.

What is your favorite color? Pastels, rose gold, sea foam green, coral, and yellow.

What color is the color of your walls? White.

Do you own anything zebra striped? No.

What kind of straighner do you have? I don’t have one, we’ve been through this already.

Are you obsessed with your hair? No. I don’t do anything with it. I’m not good at maintaining the red I’ve been dyeing it for the past 6 years either. I was in the beginning when I got it done once a month, but then it started getting more and more months in between and then it turned into a year. I’m currently a little over a year overdue. Sighhh. I just don’t have the energy or motivation to do that or much of anything else. I barely get outta bed most days.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #long survey

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myhockeyworld87 · 4 years

Text

Nervous Regrets - Tyler Seguin - Part 19

Word Count: 3614

POV: Tyler

Warnings: language

Notes: Sorry this took so long, it was suppose to be posted yesterday and what can I say, things got hectic. It’s the holidays and unfortunately that happens more than I’d like. Hope you guys enjoyed your Thanksgiving holiday if you’re in the US; and that you got lots of Black Friday shopping done. As always feedback is welcomed. Peace Love and Hugs All! Also I posted this from my phone, because I still have internet problems, I’ll get the keep reading in there later when I can put it on my laptop.

TYLER’S POV

You had no idea what had gotten into you the day before, but as you drove to the airport the entire day replayed in your head. An overwhelming need to make (Y/N) yours had just overcome you. Deep down you knew she wasn’t leaving, that she would never cheat on. All you can say is that when you saw Jamie’s hands on her baby bump you lost it. Speaking of Jamie, you owed your friend an apology; so, as you boarded the plane, you took a seat beside him.

Jamie, raised his eyes at you; as you sat down. “Look man, I need to apologize for yesterday. I was a complete ass.”

“You think?” It was a deserving response. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t even know where it came from, just know it wasn’t you.” You blew out a breath. If you were going to talk to someone about it; it might as well be Jamie. “I don’t like leaving her, you know?” He nodded, though said nothing. “I’ve been scared to death ever since the accident. Like I’ll just wake up one day and she won’t be there.”

“Tyler…”

You stopped him. “Let me finish. I know yesterday it was completely irrational, but when I saw you touching the baby; I just snapped. And not that you would ever take (Y/N) from me, I know you wouldn’t do that, and neither would she. It’s just someone could you know.” Jamie gave you that glare, the one that said you couldn’t be more wrong. “I know, I know. It sounds crazy.”

“Yes, it does. That woman is crazy about you Segs. She just lights up when you’re in the room.” A smile touched your lips as you thought about coming up behind (Y/N) and wrapping your arms around her. She truly did glow when that happened. “And you know I’m teasing when I say, I’m going to take her away from you.”

“I know and its fine, it truly is.”

“As long as you know I’m just kidding with you.” You did. It was other people you worried about. That she’d go back to work and some high-profile client would whisk her away; or she’d meet some guy at the damn coffee shop or something. Someone who was probably way more deserving of her, than you were.

“I was a damn wreck last night.” A quizzical look crossed Jamie’s face. “You know, when (Y/N) and I were.” You shrugged giving him that you know what I mean look.

“Woah Seggy, I don’t need to hear about yours and (Y/N)’s sex life.”

“Don’t worry I’m not giving you all the details or anything. It was just….nevermind.” Why you were even confiding in Jamie about any of this, you didn’t know.

“Just tell me Segs. You know you can tell me anything.”

You hesitated, then decided this was one of your best friends and well you needed to hash this out. “It’s a bit embarrassing.” Dropping your voice down to a whisper you said. “I cried. Like full on sobbed.” Jamie looked at you, no judgement in his eyes; just concern. “We were in the middle of…it. And I made her promise to never leave me. Then I lost it when she did.”

You could see Jamie struggling with finding the right words to say. “Look man, I’m not going to pretend to know what you’re going through, because I can’t. What I can say, is that it’s normal. Segs, you guys have been through a lot. I mean like a lot of shit. It’s not surprising that you’re feeling this way. I think things are just finally catching up with you.” When you didn’t say anything right away, Jamie continued. “You know, she’s finally going to games and doing stuff with all the girls. The two of you officially moved back in together, in a new house. It’s kind of natural that your mind would be waiting for the shoe to drop per se.”

You let Jamie’s words absorb into your brain. He was right, everything had been going so well; you just figured something bad was bound to happen. But there was something more, something that was off or missing. “Maybe you’re right; I am waiting for the something to go wrong.” Replaying the events of last night again in your mind, something stuck out; that overwhelming need for her to promise to never leave you. It hit you then, you knew exactly what both your mind and heart needed to be confident in your relationship with (Y/N).

“Oh no, I’ve seen that look before. What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking I just solved all my problems.” Jamie waited for you to continue. “I’m going to ask her to marry me. Like officially ask her, with a ring and everything.”

“Well it’s not the craziest thing you’ve ever said to me; and she did agree to the house. Which I never thought would happen. So, what’s the plan?”

“I don’t know. I just decided that was the answer.” You’d made mention of marriage before, she’d always said you needed more time; but after yesterday, you didn’t think that time was much of a factor anymore. “Well I need to get a ring first.”

“Well, that shouldn’t be hard; you’ve been looking since you met her.” It was true; there would be times a couple months after you started dating that your eye would be drawn to rings in the jewelry store. You actually had one in mind; though you didn’t know if it existed. It wouldn’t take much to contact your jeweler and see if it could be made.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. Ok, so let’s assume that part’s done. When do I do it, Thanksgiving, Christmas?” Christmas would be far off, but you could have all your family there; you knew (Y/N) would like that.

“Do you know nothing of women? For as many as you’ve dated in your life, I would think you would have somewhat of a clue.” You gave him a look, now was not the time to be talking of all the conquests you’d had in the past. Not when you planned on spending the rest of your life with the only woman that mattered, (Y/N). “You can’t ask her on a holiday. Women want it to be something special, a day that’s only for them. That they can gush to all their friends about.”

Jamie was right, you needed to make this special for (Y/N). You wanted it to be a day that you told your children about. “Ok, you’re right Chubbs.” A plan started to formulate in your mind. “I think I’ve got an idea.” The rest of the flight you and Jamie mapped out the perfect proposal. All that was left, was to set it into motion.

Conveniently you were headed to Toronto, so you were able to snag an appointment with the Jeweler when you landed. By the end of the meeting, he had the ring of your dreams down on paper. If it turned out half as well as what he drew, it would take (Y/N)’s breath away. The biggest problem now, was that it wouldn’t be done for a couple weeks. Which meant, that with your schedule; you wouldn’t be able to propose until the first week in December. While it was somewhat disappointing to wait that long; you felt a weight lifted off of you knowing that plans were set into motion.

It was hard to contain your excitement when you facetimed (Y/N) that night. “Hey baby, how was the first day back to work?”

“Exhausting. I forgot how many interruptions happen during the day at the office. I seriously got more done working at home.”

“Awww, I’m sorry hun. I’m sure everyone was just excited you were back.” She chuckled a bit at that comment. “You know I missed you when I left today. I think I got used to you being at home.”

“Honestly, I missed being there. And I miss not being there in Toronto with you and the family.” There was a frown on her face. You knew she would’ve traveled to Ontario with you, if she hadn’t been off work so much. “How is everyone? Did you tell them I missed them?”

You had told them much more than that, but (Y/N) didn’t need to know that. “They’re great. They all miss you as well. Mom went crazy and bought a bunch of baby clothes. They probably won’t all fit in my suitcase.”

“Oh my god, show me.” Switching the camera around on the phone, you took each outfit out of the bag letting (Y/N) see them. “Awww, that’s so cute…Oh I think that one’s my favorite…No, it’s definitely that one. I’m going to send her out a thank you card tomorrow for them.”

Camera facing you now, you told her, “Babe, you don’t have to do that. You know she’s in her glory buying these things. She also said she mailed you something called a Boppy. It’s some kind of pillow for you to sleep with. I told her that was totally unnecessary as you have me.”

She laughed, the sound was music to your ears; it made you long to hold her in your arms. “I totally wanted one of those.” You frowned at her words. “It’s for when I’m like super pregnant. You probably won’t want to touch me then.”

“I doubt that. I want to touch you all the time. I can only imagine how sexy you’re going to be all round with our baby inside you. I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off you.”

“Oh stop, you’re just trying to make me feel better.”

“I’m not. You have no clue how fucking much it turns me on.” You were being one hundred percent sincere with her. Even now, though her bump was small, it was a huge turn on for you. Thoughts of (Y/N) being heavily pregnant with your baby, just sort of made you want her even more. “Oh and before I get to turned on, Cass and Candance are thinking of coming down to visit in a couple weeks; if you’re ok with it.”

“You don’t need to ask me to have them come.”

“Yes, I do, it’s your house too.”

“Well our house is always open to your family. I love having them here and this time we’ll actually be able to do things; as long as work doesn’t get in the way.”

She seemed down on work today. You knew it was only her first day back; but you found yourself saying. “You know, you can always quit, if you want.” It was never a topic that you’d brought up with (Y/N); though you hoped she knew it was an option.

“You think I should quit?”

From her tone you couldn’t tell if she was upset at you for suggesting it; or totally intrigued by the idea. “Look, only if you want to. I know you like having your own money and all; I guess I’m just thinking down the road, you know when the baby is born. Are you going to want to go back to work after that?”

By the look on her face, she was truly grappling with that question. “I mean we haven’t really talked about that yet. But I would like to stay with the baby at least a little longer than the six weeks the company gives. But you could be right, I may not want to go back at all.” She was thinking some more. “I have a hard-enough time leaving the dogs with a sitter; I don’t know how I’ll be leaving the baby with someone. Oh, fuck this is a problem.”

You laughed at her. “Well you wouldn’t be leaving the baby with a sitter all the time. I’ll be there from time to time. Look babe, you don’t have to make a decision now. Just know it’s an option. You can quit whenever you want. As for the money situation, we’ll work that out. Just think about what you want to do. You’ve got options.”

“I know and thank you, for loving me and letting this be my decision. Did I tell you yet how much I love you?”

“I’m pretty sure you haven’t mentioned that just yet. But I love you as well and miss the hell outta ya.” If she quit, she could be here with you now, or at least the next trip that you’d be making here. It would now be an idea you’d push for whenever you got the chance.

“I miss you too. It’s weird being in this house alone. Especially since we only got to spend a couple nights here together.”

“Awww, is someone lonely.” She shook her head yes. “I wish I was there babe. This long road trip is killer, but I know how we could pass the time.” You wiggled your eyebrows suggestively at her through the phone.

“Tyler Seguin, you’re incorrigible.”

“And yet you still love me.” She rolled her eyes at you, but was smiling the whole time; that was until you saw her wince in pain. “Babe are you alright? Is it the baby?”

She laughed then and some of the tension you immediately felt subsided. “Only this baby.” She turned the camera at Gerry, who had evidently jumped up on the bed and was now sprawled out across her legs. Gerry looked as happy as could be. “His nail dug into me. When’s the last time you had them trimmed?”

“What, is that suppose to be my job now?” In all honesty, you couldn’t remember the last time.

“No worries I have appointments for them this week, so I’ll have it done then.”

Since the opportunity presented itself, you said. “See hun, it’s a full-time job just taking care of me and the dogs.” It couldn’t hurt to plant little seeds here and there, about quitting work.

“Trust me, I know it is. But on that note, you have a game tomorrow and I still have work.” You frowned at her, it seemed like the two of you just got to talk; you weren’t ready for her to hang up just yet. “Make sure you call me tomorrow before the game.”

“You know I will babe, but do you have to hang up just yet? Can’t we just fall asleep together on the phone like old times?” When you had first started dating and would be on a road trip, it was something that happened almost every night.

She snuggled down into the covers of your new bed, then held the phone close to her face. “I think I can manage that. As soon as these three decide where they’re going to sleep.” You watched the dogs settle down, then settled yourself under the duvet.

“You’re so beautiful (Y/N).” It was true, you’d always loved seeing her like this; no makeup, hair in disarray, just lying in your bed. “I love you so much.”

“I love you more.” She blew a kiss at you through the phone, then closed her eyes. Soon the sound of her even breaths lulled you to sleep.

In the morning, when you woke, the phone was buried somewhere in the sheets and it took a minute to find it. You went to morning skate, then met up with the family for lunch; where you all mostly talked about your upcoming engagement. They wanted to know every detail, which was difficult since there was still an enormous amount of planning to do. It was your mom who pointed out one huge flaw in your plan. “Have you asked (Y/N)’s dad if you can marry her?” Your face must have given away your answer, for in her next breath she said. “Oh Tyler, how could you forget something so important?”

“It wasn’t like I forgot; I just haven’t done it yet.”

“Oh please, don’t try and fool us. You forgot, plain and simple brother.” Why did Cassidy always have to point out your mistakes?

“How am I going to ask him?”

“I would start with, ‘Can I marry your daughter?’ but that’s just me.”

“You’re such a smartass, Cass. What I meant was when am I going to get the chance? I’m on the road for the next what seven days; then her parents are on some trip that they won or something. I’m cutting it close on time.” Their blessing was important, not only to (Y/N) but to you as well. “Do you think it’s something you can ask over the phone?”

“If that’s your only option, then I think that’s what you should do; and soon darling. I’m sure you’d planned on them being there as well.”

Your mom was right, you had planned on her whole family being there; along with your friends. “Then it looks like I’ll be making a phone call later.” After the game, you found yourself pacing back and forth in your hotel room; while everyone else was out grabbing a few beers, your family included. This was the most nervous you’d been in a long time. It was kind of like being in a game seven, with a tied score and you have a penalty shot coming up. No pressure there. All sorts of thoughts ran through your head. Should you ask both her mom and her dad? What if they said no? Which would be a totally valid answer after everything the two of you had been through. There was only one way to find out.

Hitting the facetime button on your phone, you waited patiently as the call connected. “Tyler, son, how are you?” Mr. (Y/LN)’s faced popped up on the phone all cheerful, which you took as a good sign.

“I’m doing well Mr. (Y/LN) and yourself?” God you sounded so formal, but then you supposed this was a formal occasion.

“Oh I can’t complain. Great win tonight, I’m surprised you’re not out celebrating with your family.”

“Yeah, I actually wanted to speak to you and Mrs. (Y/LN) before that.” A bead of sweat ran down your face, and you swiped it away.

“Everything alright? Nothing’s wrong with (Y/N) or the baby?”

“Um, no sir. They’re fine. I just got off the phone with her actually and she said everything was great.” The conversation with (Y/N) had been short, since you claimed that you were going out with your family.

“Good. Hold on one sec.”

It took all of fifteen seconds for (Y/N)’s dad to find her mom, though a lot longer for them both to be seen on screen. “Tyler, so good to see you. How’s everything?”

“Oh it’s great Mrs. (Y/LN). How are you?” You were stalling, but then wasn’t it polite to at least make a little conversation with them first.

“We’re doing well. I talked to (Y/N) today. She said the house is simply gorgeous. We can’t wait to see it.”

“Yes, it’s really nice. You’ll have to come up soon and see it.”

“Oh we’d love that, maybe we can plan something for when we get home from this trip.” That timing would be perfect for what you had planned.

“Well speaking of that, it’s kind of the reason I’m calling. You see I wanted to do this in person and all; but given that I’m out on the road now, and you’ll be leaving soon, I didn’t know how to make that happen.” Finally, you stopped pacing and sat down on the bed. “Ummm…I don’t know how to say this. Look, I know I’m not the first choice you’d pick for your daughter, but I love her more than anything in this world. And I know I haven’t proven that in the past, but I plan on making up for that for the rest of my life.” Maybe you should’ve practiced this beforehand, because you weren’t sure you were saying all this right. “What I’m trying to ask is….Would you be willing to give me your blessing to marry your daughter? I mean I don’t even know if she’ll say yes, but nothing would make me happier than if she did. I really want us to be a family and I’m promising you now that I will do everything in my power to make her the happiest woman alive.” You realized you were babbling a bit on that last part, but you wanted them to know how important (Y/N) is in your life.

“Well, it took him longer than I expect.” Mr. (Y/LN) was looking at his wife when he spoke, but then he turned towards the phone. “You have our blessing son.”

“Welcome to the family.” Mrs. (Y/LN) added. It all went much smoother that you anticipated, especially with (Y/N)’s mom.

“Thank you, thank you so much.” You hadn’t realized that you were crying until your hand went up and swiped at a tear.

“So, do you have a date when you want to ask her?” This from her dad, as her mom was wiping away tears as well.

“Actually I do, and I’m hoping your whole family will be there.” You spent the next several minutes explaining the elaborate engagement you had planned for their daughter; and at the end of the conversation, you were ready to start the next phase of your plan in motion.

#tyler seguin #dallas stars #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars imagines #nhl fanfic #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin imagines #hockey imagine #nervous regrets #hockey fanfic #hockey imagines

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staliasjeronica · 4 years

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Riverdale S4 Ep8 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Lowkey forgot about the fucking videotapes lololololol Also that snapshot of Choni and the dumb doll was so weird

- Not them suddenly making Alice act like this??? It’s so weird, it’s like she, out of nowhere, devoted back to season one Alice and it just… doesn’t fit at all. Also not her mom pretending she didn’t already know she was having sex with Jughead??? Chic told Alice that Betty wore the black wig when she had sex with Jughead. And besides even though Jughead will be her future step brother when Alice marries FP, at least she’s using protection so like… calm down Alice.

- I really want them to make Alice and Betty have a good relationship but like i’m also upset that they’re only mending things between them and not hashing out Betty’s multitude of problems. Oh rip to Polly and their mom’s favoritism…

- Why is he sending Archie to Ms. Burble for sleeping in class lmao I mean normally you’d go to the principal or they wouldn’t care but okay he gets his session so whatever

- Archie is still involved in football??? He hasn’t been for like three seasons though I— if Ms. Burble said “cruising Fox Forest” does that mean she’s, one, insinuating that Archie isn’t straight, and two, that she talked to Kevin and we didn’t get to see it?

- ANYWAYS GIVE KJ THIS FUCKING AWARD OMGGGG A CRYING RN GIVE HIM THE AWWARD NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

- AW THIS IS WHEN ARCHIE SAYS HE’S MOVING OUT 😭😭😭 But I wanna know why Dodger doesn’t know that Archie is the one who saved Dodger like??? Wouldn’t Dodger know who beat him up, and tell his ugly ass sister or wife or daughter or whoever the fuck she was and leave him alone out of respect while he heals or some shit

- Archie taking her advice and setting up the hotline 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 why can’t we have Ms. Burble all the time? Like, having her randomly come in, in the middle of the season is just so weird.

- Wait, so of ALL of those things… you decide she should lose the Vixens? They have nothing to do with Cheryl’s trauma but sure, if it’ll get her to her session...

- THE TEAR WHEN CHERYL LOOKED UP MY FUCKING HEART. “Then what’s… wrong… with me…” OMG CHERYL. MADELAINE IS SO GOOD!! THE SCREAM!!! GIVE HER AN AWARD TOO!!!

- MY BABY GIRL VERONICA!!!! God she always looks good. Also when is she going to move the fuck out of this toxic household :( She deserves so much but the last time she tried she was sucked right back in because she thought she could make her dad go on the good path with her and then sit just spired into all this boring fuckery :(((((

- MS. LUNA! Ugh my smart baby girl Veronica getting into Harvard!!!! She deserves it so much, she’s so smart ❤️❤️ Oh of course this has to do with her dumb ass father……… way to ruin it smh

- Now that I’m hearing Veronica Luna more it sounds a lot better despite me finding it weird rolling off the tongue at first.

- But finally they’re bringing all of this to fruition and making Veronica getting rid of her father in her life once and for all

- Jughead taking the candy is such a Jughead move. OMG Holden Caulfield???? JERONICA CRUMB??? WHERE SHE CALLED HIM HOLDEN CAULFIELD OMGGGG??????? Jeronica’s how we doing?

- Jughead breaking down aw bby

- JUGHEAD HUGGING HIS DAD CATCH ME CRYING!!! I love this soft Jughead I hope he’s around more often lol

- It’s so weird how they suddenly made Alice act this way, it’s not like her AT ALL. Even s1 Alice wouldn’t… it’s like some weird mix of them and it’s weird and random and I don’t like it at all. HOWEVER I’m glad she repaid Betty her money back which is like the start of them mending their relationship.

- No Archie just fucking call the police like you’re supposed to! Like Ms. Burble said nothing will happen or change overnight but c’mon :(

- Choni scenes FINALLY outside of the house and being cute we LOVE. And we miss the healthiest couple on this show! When they get back to how they were they can rule the show again 🥺❤️

- I’m not entirely sure why this face off between Veronica and Hiram actually seems interesting because it’s basically the exact same thing… but maybe it’s because she’s going to try and stay on her path and keep away from her father. Anyways FINALLY SHE CAN HAVE AN INTERESTING STORYLINE AGAIN!!!!

- Of course it’s Donna and Brett who are pointing out Betty, Archie, and Veronica as the killers… WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU DONNA. WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU.

- Why does Alice have a knife??? I know it’s probably not real because somehow that vibe I got was the same one when Betty saw the twins floating so um… anyways… now back to reality where this show makes it over the top for now reason and way too much as to where it’s boring as fuck.

- So, conclusion time… this episode was actually REALLY good and it felt like a breath of fresh air, but it felt… out of place. Like, making Alice suddenly act ooc because this entire season she’s been really good and got along with Betty (which obviously doesn’t take away what she has done to Betty previously) but out of nowhere she’s all uptight and some weird au version of s1 Alice????? The second thing I wish was different was how short the sessions are. All of them of course would need like episodes to divulge it all but it felt too… rushed. And knowing that after this we’ll go back to bat shit crazy just… sucks. It’s like after the bizarrodale episode (which was one of the best as we all know because * * * *) we went back to regular and it sucked ass that there’s so much potential they’re wasting on * and ** and shit

And while I like that they allowed Betty to tell her mom everything she’s wanted to for the past few seasons, why didn’t they focus on Betty at all? Betty has been through so much shit and has done awful things and she’s just as manipulative as her mother but without anyone calling her out on it, she’s not going to change so like… I wish they could have scrounged up enough time to give Betty her own small little session before Alice came into the room or something. But whatever maybe one day Ms. Burble will come back and do this stuff again.

#Riverdale #Veronica Lodge #Jughead Jones #Archie Andrews #anti-betty cooper #even though it’s not really anti lol #Cheryl Blossoom #Jeronica Nation #Toni Topaz #Kevin Keller

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swimmingnewsie · 4 years

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Of Coffee and Cookies (Chapter 4)

Hi guys! It’s your local insomniac back with another chapter! This one is a mix of light fluff and soft angst. Thanks for all your support!

Please enjoy!

Link to Chapter 1 Link to Chapter 2 Link to Chapter 3 Link to AO3

---

It had been a month since their first walk and coffee. As the time passed, coffee dates became more frequent. Usually Maren would grade her students' assignments while Elsa read through research or graded her own students' papers and assessments. It was nice. Elsa would never admit it, but she liked having someone check in on her throughout the day. Anna was great, but having a real friend-

Well she wasn't exactly sure what to call Maren. They were definitely friends, but she wasn't sure if they were more than that. They went out a lot, but did that mean they were dating? But whatever they were, it was nice.

Elsa had cancelled their study session this afternoon, her monthly cycle rendering her useless to anything other than lying on the couch in pain. And yet, here Maren was cuddling next to her while they watched a sitcom on Netflix. Elsa was sure she was an angel, letting her lie against her and holding the heating pad over her cramping stomach. If she did much more for her, Elsa was pretty sure she would cry.

She must have dozed off at some point for she woke up with a blanket covering them both. Maren was singing softly in her ear, while gentle hands ran through her hair. Her head still ached, but the melody made her feel so safe and secure that her pain melted into the background. Elsa slowly opened her eyes, wanting to see the scene for herself.

"Good morning, snowflake," she said brushing a stray hair away. "Have a good nap?"

The nickname made her blush. It was something new, but something right. Elsa nodded slightly enough for Maren to feel against her chest. "How long was I out for?"

"Not long, maybe an hour. I paused our show."

"Thank you," she mumbled, sleep pulling at her eyes.

"You can go back to sleep," she said softly. "It would probably make you feel better. Your stomach still hurting? I could get you another ibuprofen."

Elsa shook her head. It was rude to sleep while a guest was there, even if she wasn't feeling her best. "Stay with you," she said, words slurred with sleep. "Don't wanna be a bad host."

Maren giggled, making Elsa's heart flutter. Why was she feeling like this from just a simple sound? "You're not a bad host. You can't be a bad host when you're sick."

"Not sick," Elsa mumbled, allowing herself to curl closer into Maren.

"Well you certainly don't feel good." Maren continued to stroke her hair, making loose braids as she spoke. "So go back to sleep and ignore mother nature for a bit. She'll still be there when you're ready to be awake."

Elsa hummed against her. "I'm ready to be awake."

Maren huffed a laugh. "Uh huh."

Elsa gave her own small laugh. "Talk to me. I wanna know what's going on in your world."

"My world, huh? Well I've got the most beautiful girl in the world laying against me." That made Elsa poke at her belly- she wanted to know about other things. "Alright alright. Well there was something I wanted to ask you about." Well that certainly perked her interest.

"My cousin is getting married in a few weeks and I was wondering if you would want to go as my plus one."

"As a date?" Was this her sign? Her way of asking her out?

"It's- it's okay if you don't. I know that we haven't been together long and if meeting my family makes you nervous that's okay. You- you don't have to."

Tears pricked in her eyes. "We're together?"

Maren's eyes went wide. "I thought we were? I thought that first day at the coffee shop was our first date?"

Elsa paled. Oh no, she didn't want Maren to think she wasn't interested. She just didn't know that she thought they were together. "I thought that you just wanted to be friends. I was trying to work up the nerve to ask you out. But now I think that might be moot."

Maren blushed, then got that little look in her eyes- the same one she saw in Anna's when she was about to be mischievous. "Well I'd hate for those nerves to go to waste. Would you like to ask me out?"

Elsa felt her heart start racing. "Now? But you- you already thought we were together?"

"But you didn't," she grabbed her hand and squeezed it right. "So let's get on the same page."

Elsa rubbed at her eyes with her free hand, smiling softly. "Will you, Honeymaren, go with me to a movie as soon as I am able to get off the couch without crying in pain?"

"Oh, snowflake, I would happily. Pick the time and the day," she said teasingly bringing their hands to her face. She ran a hand through Elsa's hair again, noticing her eyes were getting heavy again. "Go back to sleep. We can talk about our date later. I'm getting you some ibuprofen."

Elsa nodded, letting herself fall back against the soft pillows. "I wanna go with you," she murmured.

"Go where, Els?" Maren asked, tucking the blanket around her sleepy form.

"To the wedding. I wanna go with you."

Maren grinned. "Then I'll send our RSVP tomorrow."

In her fleeting consciousness, Elsa couldn't help but feel happy. Maren wanted to be with her. Maren wanted her to meet her family. And that was something worth feeling happy about.

---

"Oh who's a good boy? You're a good boy. Yes you are."

Ryder couldn't help but smile as Kristoff talked to the small dog in front of him. Volunteering at the animal shelter was something he had done since he was sixteen. Usually it was something he did alone. Sharing it with Kristoff was something different, but something right.

He was so good with the animals. It didn't shock him per se. The one time he had gone over to Kristoff's apartment, he saw how the man treated his dog. He was kind and gentle, a very different demeanor than what he usually saw at the coffeehouse.

But Ryder couldn't help but feel like he was doing something wrong. He saw the way that his sister blushed and got flustered over her girlfriend. She would talk about how her heart fluttered when she talked to Elsa or how she just wanted to be close to the other girl. Ryder was happy, but he didn't feel those kinds of things. If he thought about it, he never really felt that desire in his whole life.

He was happy with Kristoff. He made him smile. He had a little extra kick in his step when he entered Mermaid's Siren knowing the boy would be there. But why didn't he want to kiss Kristoff or touch him the way his sister wanted Elsa?

Ryder sighed. Maybe he was just a really late bloomer. He wanted those feelings, but they just weren't there.

Suddenly he felt a hand run through his messy hair. "Why so glum? We're in dog paradise." Kristoff smiled at him, going to sit next to him.

Ryder shook his head. "Just thinking, that's all."

Kristoff nodded with that knowing look. "Is it something that can be helped by Miss Samantha here?" In his arms was a border collie puppy, cuddling close.

Ryder smiled. "Anything can be fixed with a good girl like Miss Samantha." They petted and rubbed her a while, giving her plenty of love and attention. "The only bad thing about volunteering here is sometimes I just want to take them all home with me. That's how I got Nokk after all."

Kristoff nodded with that understanding look that made him melt. "Sven was a rescue too. But who rescued who is still up for debate."

"Yeah?" he asked, curiosity in his eyes.

"Yeah," he nodded again. "Things were tough for a long while. My biological parents died when I was eight. But one of the last things we did together was get Sven from the shelter. Ma and Pa wanted me to have someone to grow up with, even though they didn't want anymore kids. Pa and I picked him out together, this timid German Shepherd. And when Ma and Pa passed and I went to the system, by a miracle Sven was able to stay with me."

Ryder could tell that the story was a lot for Kristoff. His voice had changed and he kept his eyes down. He reached out a gentle hand. "I'm glad you had each other."

"Me too." Kristoff squeezed his hand back.

They didn't talk for a while after. It was an easy silence, working through the dogs' crates, cleaning them and giving them some love. It was nice.

"Hey, Kris?" Ryder eventually asked after a bit.

"Yeah?"

"I've been meaning to ask you. My cousin is getting married in a few weeks. I was wondering if you would want to go with me. I know it's really fast and it's okay if you don't want to and my family barely knows I'm gay but-"

Kristoff shut him up with a quick peck on the lips. "I would love to."

Ryder smiled, a bit dazed from the kiss. "Thank you." A kiss didn't feel like he thought it would. It was soft, sure, but it didn't give him that famous spark everyone talked about. He shook his head, willing himself to return to that topic later. "It's a date then."

"It's a date."

---

"You mean you both got invited to a wedding? What are the odds of that?" Anna asked as she worked on breakfast. Sunday breakfast at the sisters' apartment had become a staple since Anna had moved in. It gave a sense of consistency in a time when everything was changing so quickly around them. Because no matter what stress Elsa's lab brought her or how many rude customers Anna and Kristoff dealt with, pancakes and hash browns and homebrewed coffee made everything better.

"It would appear so," Kristoff said setting plates on the table. "Wonder if it's the same wedding."

"It could be," Elsa said, shrugging in her dark blue blanket. "Mine is a local wedding. I wouldn't be surprised if Honeymaren and Ryder had similar friends."

"Still it just seems odd to me." Anna pondered for a minute as she prepared the potatoes. "Do you two even have anything to wear?"

"Jeans and a button down." They both responded in almost perfect unison.

Anna dropped her spatula. "Oh no you're not. You are not going to a wedding in jeans and a flannel. It's not the end all be all of fashion, guys."

"Says the one in Spiderman pajamas," Elsa teased, moving to flick her sister playfully.

"First off, it's breakfast. We always do breakfast in pajamas. And second off, you two are getting nice clothes for this wedding iI swear to God." She hurriedly finished the food, putting it on the table. "Eat up. We're going shopping after breakfast."

Elsa and Kristoff groaned in unison knowing there was no getting out of this one.

---

“Well don’t you look nice?” Anna teased, looking at her best friend and sister. “Didn’t I tell you this would be better than jeans and flannel? You look like someone I’m proud to claim.”

Elsa rolled her eyes, going to give her sister a gentle knock on the head. “Perhaps, but you know I don’t like admitting when you’re right.” She was stunning in a pair of dress slacks and a silk blue top. Her hair was styled in a gorgeous braided updo, something befitting a queen. Between the hair and her delicate makeup, Anna swore she looked like their mother.

“It takes all the fun out of it,” Kristoff teased. He too looked handsome. Anna finally convinced him to get a pair of pants fitted for him instead of the loose fitting pants he usually wore. They looked perfect on him, highlighting assets that Ryder would be more than thrilled to see. He wore a pale green button down with a black tie.

“Oh shush, both of you.” Anna smiled swatting back at her sister. “Can’t I give you guys compliments?”

“You can, but we might be snarky back. Isn’t that right, Elsa?”

“Absolutely.” Elsa leaned down and pressed a kiss to her sister’s head. “You sure you’ll be alright?”

“I’m fine, promise.” Anna stroked Bruni softly where he laid on the couch. “I have three cats and Netflix. I can occupy myself for a night.”

“Just call if you need anything. You know I’ll come home.” It made Anna roll her eyes a bit. She knew her sister was just being protective, but she deserved some fun too.

“I know you will.” Anna gave her sister’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Now get going! You’re going to be late!”

Soon after receiving their invitations, Kristoff and Elsa realized they were in fact going to the same wedding. Maren and Ryder apparently had been friends since they were babies in an odd twist of fate. It was weird, but Elsa took solace in the fact that she would be able to stay with both Maren and Kristoff at the wedding. Her social anxiety was improving, but events like this could still serve as a trigger sometimes.

“Go get yourself a drink. It’ll settle your nerves,” Maren encouraged as they waited around for the bridal party at the reception. The ceremony itself had come and gone without much stress. It was a little long; Elsa didn’t realize they had been pulled into a Catholic wedding, but Maren held her hand the whole time making it a bit easier to bear.

The reception however brought its own set of issues. There were too many people, too much noise. The music wasn’t playing yet, but she knew it would be coming soon. Elsa stammered over to the bar. She usually hated alcohol, but she wanted to get through the night. She wanted to enjoy herself and enjoy herself with Maren, not hiding in the bathroom. Elsa ordered a neat whiskey and prayed it would be enough.

“Better?” Maren asked when she returned.

Elsa kept her head down, but nodded. She wasn’t going to ruin this night for Maren.

“Snowflake, you don’t have to lie to me.”

Elsa bit her lip, head still down. “This is just a lot. It makes it hard to breathe, and I don’t want to ruin your night and I don’t want to leave but I don’t want to be here either and my head is fuzzy and I can’t think and-”

“Elsa.”

Maren took her hands, holding tight. It brought her out of her head and back in the moment. “Let’s go for a walk and see how you feel then okay? I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay somewhere that’s making you upset.” Elsa nodded. “Come on.”

The walk helped. Her focus slowly returned and breathing calmed. Maren spoke sweet nothings in her ear, letting her ride the wave of anxiety however she needed to. Elsa was glad she was here, kind and gentle. It wasn’t the first anxiety attack she had in front of Maren, but it was the first when they were alone.

“Thank you,” she mumbled into Maren’s shoulder as they approached the building.

“Anytime.”

The rest of the reception went without much fanfare. Speeches were made, dances were had, and dinner was decent. Elsa found herself having an alright time, alternating between the dance floor and outside for air. It was good.

“Ryder! Maren!” The bride ran up towards their table. “I have to get a picture together with my favorite twins!”

“We’re the only twins you know, Lena,” Ryder teased, coming up and hugging the young woman. “Come on, little sister!”

Maren got up quickly, elbowing him. “Ten minutes doesn’t make that much of a difference.”

Twins? Her girlfriend and her best friend’s boyfriend were twins?

“Kristoff, how-”

“I don’t-”

“Maren never mentioned any siblings.”

“Ryder either.”

“Did they just forget to tell us?”

“Well...” Maren dragged off, rejoining the conversation. “At first yes. But then a few days ago, we realized it should be something to mention. And then someone thought this would be a fun way to find out.”

“Hey! You agreed to it!” Ryder piped in.

“Yeah, yeah I did.” Maren got down in front of Elsa holding her hand. “Are you mad at me?”

Elsa shook her head. It was good natured and funny, how could she be mad? It would take a little bit to the idea that Kristoff’s boyfriend was related to her girlfriend. “This just means that Anna isn’t the only trickster in our group. Now go take a picture with your cousin!”

Secrets could hurt sometimes, but they could be fun sometimes too. It was just a little extra quirk.

#frozen #frohana #rydoff #elsamaren #frozen fanfic #my fic #we're going to a wedding kids #shennanigans ensue

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bolbianddolanhouse · 4 years

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Book 2 FAQ!

Book 1 FAQ Beginning of Book 2

Dang y’all, 14 chapters done for Book 2! It’s been a little bit of a struggle to hash them out on time BUT I deliver. I’ve asked, y’all keyboard smashed in my inbox...let’s get INTO IT!

4 KIDS?!

Yep. And all 4 of them are full of personality! I guess I dreamt them up to convey all of the unspoken parts of the My Hero universe (canon or not).

Are the kid’s names in relation to their abilities?

No unfortunately, they’re names are based on their personalities/the major event that happened around the time they were born (no spoilers about it tho! Gotta read book 3 to know why!). Lili Perla is based off of Pearl from Steven Universe and their character type. Iwata El Roca is a nod to Luchador’s names and a character that passed away in the AU to honor them. Tensei Oro is a play on their family position, Tensei was the first born twin and his uncle was the first born, Oro is spanish for ‘gold’ and it’s a play on being first (ya know, because they give gold medals for 1st place!). Hanaka Rosa is a double trope name, Hanaka (Japanese: hana- flower, ka- power) is a nod to the tough girls with flower names in anime and Rosa (spanish: Rose) is a name used in telenovelas as the woman that causes all the romantic tension. I did the whole Japanese first name, Spanish middle name because thats what I want to do when I do have kids.

Why did Mineta have to be in this AU?

I hear you! The thing is that I DREAMT it like this. He’s the slightly incompetent teacher that gets dunked on by the parents. Good news is that he’s single and isn’t as gross in this part of the AU. He’s this AU’s punching bag if you will.

It was weird when you wrote in hate-crime/dorm incident bc I didn’t think about it that way...Why did you decide to explore it?

That part felt important to me to write. Yes the canon shows like actual crimes of different intensities, but not nessatreily hate-crimes done in schools. As you know, being LGBTQA+ in grade school is a terrifying thing to express if don’t want to stand out. The constant fear of peers judging you, bullies hurting you and teachers that seemingly don’t care about you if you come out is enough to silence anybody. Imagine that but in a hero school?! The hate-crime would be a villainous act and the culprit would have to do desperate measures to make sure nobody rats on them to maintain a clean image/record. Plus on the flip side, any ally that stands up for their oppressed peer is hailed the hero but they wouldn’t have to stand up for them if there were real consequences and punishment for the bullies. So in the AU, I wrote it how I’d want such hate-crimes to be handled. Not only justice but also accommodations for the victim.

The Mcdonalds order cracks me up! What is your Mcdonalds order?

I throughly enjoyed the Mcdonalds order part too. It’s a nod to the proposal in Book 1 when they went to Mcdonalds before the peer over. I wrote it to show that the family goes every now and then. My order is: Triple Cheeseburger, Large fries, Large sweet tea, 2 sausage and egg McMuffins & a cone. And yes, there will be a Mcdonalds order for every child because it drives the plot.

Will there be more interactions with the pro heroes from the canon series?

YES! Though old, theres more interactions planned with them. Of course, it’s all in Book 3 (trying not to spoil anything!).

Is it spoiler if you tell us if your kids (or one of them) becomes a villain?

I’ll tell y’all right now....NONE of my kids becomes a villain. It might look like one or two of them might from the way I wrote them but they’re just latina.

Will one of your kids be the next Ingenium?

Yes but I won’t tell you which one. But I can’t wait to reveal it to y'all!

I see all the call-backs to your self insert character’s past...Is it alluding to the conclusion?

I dreamt it as such and I fixed it in writing as a way to come full circle. Notice that Lili didn’t get any of her mom’s past from her mom? It wasn’t until when she confronted her on the couch in chapter 13. Even then, it wasn’t the full story nor did it fill in all the cracks and time skips after her mom’s time at UA. In Book 3, we explore more of the past. The conclusion is yet to be revealed.

How big is that house?!

It’s a little hard to explain? I want to say its big but parts of the house are disproportionate. It’s a two story house with no attic nor basement, 3 bath room, Master bedroom, 2 large bedrooms, office space, guest room, full kitchen, dining room, large living room, three car garage and a decent size backyard. What I’m trying to say that it’s big enough for that chaotic ass family.

Where’s Aizawa?!

Let the mans rest! He’s alive but he’s busy being a grandpa and taking naps.

Canon villains OwO?

Y’all ate UP the Dabi surrender in Book 1 and his little mention in Book 2. But in this AU (not to spoil anything to anime only and manga dabblers) the League of Villains are still rampant but dispersed. In Book 3 (and part of Book 4) they pop in to drive the plot from a canon storyline. In the series, the rookie Hawks has been seen as a double agent and exposes a corrupt Hero Society. Same concept but in this AU, Hawks has gone missing when he failed to kill Best Jeanist. Here’s where the kids go into play BUT more on that as the plot progresses!

I really want to see art of these OCs! I wanna see how Iida’s genes transferred over to his kids!

I hear y'all! I’ve slid into DM during commission windows and have the means to pay for some line art at least...but with no responses. I’ve got my self insert character done in this post if you wanna check it out plus the artist was super sweet during the whole process. I may commission them again when they got a window of commissions open. But I may do a lineart of the kid’s faces in the near future.

What if....hypothetically....Shinso stayed?

Oh boy, okay so the Shinso stans have BOMBARDED my asks since the last arc of Book 1. So what if Shinso stayed...obviously I wouldn’t have 4 kids, just the one that we were gonna have. We wouldn’t be married and overall just be loveless the more we see our friends get married and start families. The company would still be there but delayed by 5 years or so. Our son would grow up to convince me and Shinso to separate when they get at around High school age. Tenya still wouldn’t have said anything but done the reunited part differently. I would’ve considered cheating but morals would’ve stopped me. Eventually, when our son decides to move out, we’d stay as housemates and basically die alone....aren’t you glad this AU isn’t such a downer?! Luckily things are patched up with my self insert and Shinso, because he comes into play in Book 3!

Eri Nurse! In your AU!

Yup! I’ve actually read some NurseEri! AUs on twitter and Tumblr (btw, some of y’all that like my posts have good taste in fics!) and it manifested in my dreams and created UA Nurse Eri. She shows up a few more times in the AU, so don’t fret if Eri is your fave.

Is it okay if I follow you on a different platform? Do you have another social media that I can follow you on?

You can follow me on Twitter (@oketsusama). It’s my personal twitter that I repost memes and get my news from. So it’s not as poppin as my Tumblr, but at least it’s AU free over there lmao.

What’s you favorite rare pair in the My Hero canon storyline?

Oh! and DON’T hate me, but I stan the Sero x Iida rare pair! There’s crumbs of the pair on twitter and here but the ones that I did read got me in tears. If you haven’t seen this tag on twitter and Tumblr, DO IT! The one on twitter had a lot of angst in it and it got me HOOKED on some of that goofball with their geeky partner energy.

Not a question, but I like your //Palma-sama Speaks in the tags. They’re funny and makes your posts that much more personalized.

I will cry! Thanks for reading that far! I like doing the ‘talking in the tags’ thing to basically point out the callbacks to new readers that stumbled upon that chapter of the AU.

How long is this AU?!

It’s quite long BUT the ending is marvelous, trust.

============================================

Thanks for reading! That’s all the asks for now, keep asking them! I love reading them. Next is the finale of Book 2! Everything will still come out 2-3 days of each other until further notice. Stay safe, drink water!

-Palma-Sama

#bnha #mha #faq 2 #self insert au #not canon #will update regularly #ask me anything #Book 2

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destiny-smasher · 5 years

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I used to be close friends with one of the composers for Steven Universe. I watched them rise from a YouTube remixer living in a cramped bedroom in a shared apartment with nothing but a mattress on the floor and a keyboard beside it to owning a house, happily married with a whole backyard garden and a cat because they found success working on one of the biggest cartoon shows I’ve known. But they broke off that friendship earlier this year and it’s made my biased love for Steven Universe become very difficult to grasp with. Understanding how and why we weren’t friends anymore was likewise difficult to grasp, even after hours of us trying to hash things out and resolve it. And while we DID resolve things amicably (I hope) and peacefully, it wasn’t until Steven Universe: The Movie that I was really able to feel like I could see the forest from the trees and ‘get’ what happened. This will be a kind of review of the movie, but mostly it became more of a personal ramble relating my real life experiences with Aivi to those of characters within SU, especially the antagonist of the Movie. This is lifted from this Twitter thread, so it was originally written stream of consciousness and I’m sharing it here to keep it more readable and archived. This is a bit of a read so tucking it behind a ‘read more.’

"You keep on turning pages for people who don't care about you And still it takes you ages to see that no one's there Everyone's gone on without you"

Time to finally talk about the #StevenUniverse Movie. Strap in 'cause this gon' get personal.

It should go without saying BUT I am gonna be talking about the movie! Dunno how in detail per se but I can't properly say what I wanna say without diving into some of the important plotty stuff. So yea.

Don't read this thread if ya don't want #spoilers #sumovie

First off, I wanna talk about what this movie does well. Going in, I had heard it was framed like a musical. And I wasn't sure how I felt about that idea, though it wasn't surprising. After all, the 'musical' style episodes tend to resonate quite a lot.

I think they work great when it's one song in a 10 minute episode, but an hour and a half of songs? I wasn't sure how well that would go. Turns out, pretty well. This is due to many factors but primarily the variety of song styles and art styles used throughout. Basically every scene has a primary song that drives it home, and basically all of them have a different genre/tone as well as visual presentation style. A lot of work went into getting it all to work together and feel cohesive. TBH for me personally the main highlight of the movie was honestly the animation. Average TV goers might just see "yup sure looks like a cartoon" but on the whole, on average, the movie is CLEARLY animated and framed with much more dynamism and detail than the majority of SU. Getting to see these characters we've gotten to know over the past few years a couple years in the future, generally at peace with things, but animated with more detail than ever, THAT is the true highlight of the film for me. Naturally, there was a lot of bits of comedy, often relying on knowledge of what the characters have been through, and I felt a lot of bittersweet smiles throughout as this felt like a good send off for Steven and his Space Moms. It managed to work in cameos from basically everyone you'd expect, some of which...didn't work out as well as others (specifically, the Diamonds bookending the movie was a bit forced and weird IMO but they ARE important to the lore even if I find them boring tbh) It was nice getting to 'catch up' with everyone, and the plot itself uses a generic 'gotta save the world again' thing (bleh) in a creative way, at least -- it all becomes an excuse to "re-live" the four primary heroes' stories through song. Cool enough. Something the movie inadvertently highlights, however, is the fact that SU as a series really started spinning its wheels a lot for its second half, in particular. Much has been said about how and why and why or not this doesn't matter, etc. etc. I was just along for the ride. I've repeatedly expressed my personal bias in the series' favor for a long time, and now? I kinda don't really have that personal bias anymore. I still love the show, I still think it's one of the best cartoons I've ever seen. But those rose-tinted glasses are off now. Taking said glasses off and actually listening to and looking up what critics of the show had to say kind of unearthed a bunch of things I had kept sweeping under the rug for the sake of personal bias/support of someone I loved and cared for a lot. We'll get back to that. I say all of this because the movie ironically failed to do much of anything NEW, something the series itself kind of struggled with for a while until it finally got around to the conclusion of Steven's story arc. The film ultimately kind of ends with "yeah Steven can change!" Which, um yea? Obviously. He's a completely different person than he was in S1. But he's kiiiiinda been the same person for....some while now. The weird irony of SU as a series is that about halfway through the narrative, the protag has essentially grown up, done. The last half or third or so of SU's narrative was basically Steven having to cheer everyone around him up and help them deal with their shit, and...kinda just going about that essentially the same way every time. The power of love, the friends we made along the way, etc. To be clear, there's nothing BAD about this, and in fact it's what sets Steven apart from most every other narrative of this type. The protag is almost always forced to change in ways they don't want, do things they don't want to do, etc. But when you put it side by side with something like Avatar or Gravity Falls, those series saw everyone growing alongside each other. There are clear arcs for everyone, almost all of which get resolved in ways fitting each character. It's imperfect but it's varied. SU has a tendency to just...hammer everyone's character flaws and arcs with ONE option: just love yourself and be nice, and everyyyyyyythinggggg 'll work out in the end! Which is fine, but when a story does it for so long, over and over, always the same, it gets a bit weird. I specifically LIKED in the film, at the end, that Steven actually does have to fight, because THAT is what Spinel needed to do. She needed to let out all of that anger, and that violence was her own way of doing it. 'you can't just sing a song to make everything go away' etc. It's typical, perhaps, for protagonists to have to tackle problems in different ways because that's LIFE. The fact is, Steven's approach will NOT save everyone. Lapis stilllll kinda stands as an example of this but an as of yet unresolved one. I liked that at the end of things, Spinel still doesn't come into the same fold as everyone else. Basically "sorry, I already fucked this up too much, I can't really deal with this," and that is IMPORTANT and I really liked it. Before really digging into the personal angle, I want to bring up how fascinating it is that the movie essentially had a real BUDGET and so they deliberately seemed to design an antagonist that would take full advantage of that animation budget. EASILY, by far, Spinel is the most interesting-to-watch antag in the whole series imo, in terms of how she moves and fights, etc. They really just wanted to flex and they did it, but like any SU antag there's (somewhat predictable) motives. This gets back at what I was saying before -- how the series spins its wheels a lot -- but Spinel's motivation/back story isssss kiiiinnndaaaa a lot like many many characters' issues and, like, I get it. We get it. Steven's Mom was Not The Best does that have to be the basis behind kinda EVERYONE who goes against Steven? Or the Gems? Lapis, Bismuth, and Peridot all offered more varied motivations, and even THEN, Bismuth was still essentially in the same boat? Anyway, I digress. I DO appreciate the way the series set up Rose as this wondrous lovely lady and has severely dissected and broken that down to the point where I really do not like Rose, in any of her ID's, as a character or a fictional person, and it did so gradually. A lot of what the movie did was kind of expected. Right? Songs, singing, check. Steven going about things the same way, check. Re-living/celebrating how far he and his moms have come, check. What I didn't expect was -- OK, well, there WAS that one fusion...which, um

But the actual thing that really latched onto me was how much I conncted with Spinel. As is the case with any story that has well presented characters, you can attach to SOME part of just about all of them. I associate most closely with Pearl overall but can relate with just about anyone prominent. I see parts of me and Jenny in Steven/Connie, in Ruby/Sapphire, in Peridot/Lapis. I see what kind of woman I might've become in Amethyst (and sometimes am). Spinel, though, is a really weird case because I see my adolescent self in her SO MUCH and yet fairly recent events in my life -- directly tied TO the show itself, mind you -- make that connection weirdly poignant and present. For some context, I used to be good friends with Aivi, one of the musicians who works on the series with their husband. Spring 2018, Aivi and I vocalized to each other that we considered one another one of the closest friends in each other's lives. We're no longer friends. To make sure this is clear, I think Aivi is a wonderful person, and our breaking apart wasn't violent or dramatic or anything, Aivi just...decided they weren't interested in the relationship anymore. And neglected to tell me this until like a year later. The context is of course not at ALL as severe or dramatic as Spinel/Pink, so please don't assume there's some one-to-one there. But OOF are there some harsh similarities and it really made Spinel's backstory sting in a very confusing way. I say 'confusing' because, as I mentioned, I see my adolescent self in Spinel. The way I was going about making friends matches her 'happy' self. The way I acted in my senior year of college matches her 'angry' self. There was no single person that created any of that, though. In high school, I was like Starfire, in college, I tried to nurture that, play to my strengths. I failed miserably. And what I feel is a big part of why is inherently tied to my transitioning (which is, still, something I feel I am failing miserably at). By the end of college I was more like Raven, and there I remained through the duration of my first long-term romance, into a very weird and atypical marriage and breakup, and then I moved to CA and started changing. Fittingly, my current self can't quite ID with any single Teen Titan. I'm not a teen anymore, after all. Throughout a lot of my friendship with Aivi, they really seemed to fixate on comparing me to Pearl. It sometimes made me uncomfortable the particular ways they did, though. I strongly identified with Pearl's flaws and strengths in personality (though we're obviously different people), and so seeing Pearl go through redemption via self-love and self-acceptance meant a lot to me. "It's Over, Isn't It?" I was IN THE ROOM listening to Aivi and their husband work on the chorus to that song. Obviously they couldn't talk about it but I knew damn well what it was about, and anticipated that piece for a long time. Now it's even more weirdly painful. I met Aivi because they made Mario arrangements they put on YouTube and they happened to live a few blocks away when I was subletting my first summer in CA. They seemed very kind and caring and eager to Be Nice and at the time I really needed that at a very vulnerable and fragile time in my life so I latched onto that. -In The Garden- The week when the LiS terfs freaked out on me and that Bad Spinel side of me lashed back, and I found myself suffering from being gaslit and facing the fact that the worst part of myself that Trigon in Raven's mind that Angry Spinel was still THERE was still ME It was too much For the first (and thankfully, only) time in my life, I experienced suicidal thoughts. And Aivi REACTED to that shit. Strongly. In a way no one ever had for me before, ever. They drove across the Bay to my house, picked me up, had me over, and helped me process it. And in the months to come, as I was healing and coming to terms with how That Worst Part of Me That I Wanted to BE RID OF was still THERE and apparently could just fucking show up, through all of that, Aivi helped me work through things, and we really bonded. In retrospect, though, it's SO damned hard for me to tell if Aivi and I became so close because of mutual respect or pity or just conditioned behavior to Be Nice and Keep Up Appearances. I dunno. What I know NOW is that apparently Cost More than I would've thought. I'm not Aivi so I don't want to really dig into 'dirt' (again, Aivi is a great person who works very hard and that's WHY their work is so good) but looking back, it's wild to see their progression into SUCCESS and fame while I just stood by, floundering The thing is, Aivi was a super busy person. We barely got to spend time together -- when we DID, it was a multi-hour affair and apart from like, Jenny, Aivi is prolly the person I've had the deepest, most vulnerable conversations with. They were next to me when I realized 'oh huh I'm maybe trans??' because they were there when I was at one of the lowest points in my life. I never ASKED them to be there, to Be So Nice and as it turns out, Being So Nice is harder than it looks. So to kind of loop this back to the movie, I wasn't some Skullgirls Peacock Cuphead grinny goof or anything like that but I AM WILLING to bet that from Aivi's POV the way Happy Spinel acts toward Steven is prolly how I felt in Aivi's life at points, at the least. The irony is that we would go weeks, months, barely interacting. But looking back, the way Aivi talked about things, the same phrase keeps dominating my mind: Aivi got bored of me. I wasn't 'useful' to them anymore. Aivi said that day in spring 2018 was like 'the climax' of our friendship, or something like that. Way they talked about it was like...the finale of a season of TV. Our character arc together was over. Even though we TALKED about it, came to mutual understandimng of The Logic behind Aivi's decision to cut ties, I don't think it ever REALLY made sense to me, how Aivi must've felt about our friendship, until Spinel. By spring of 2019, my role in Aivi's life -- from what they have told me, from what I can perceive -- was more like I existed in a separate space from the rest of their life. I was that one interesting person always waiting in The Garden for them to visit when they felt like it Because while Aivi had gotten BIG, gotten MARRIED, gotten a HOUSE, found legitimate SUCCESS in their creative field I was still poor still stuck in retail still unable to find an audience still unable to understand the pressures of Success And OOOOFFF in those last couple years, interacting became more and more strained for both of us, from opposite ends of things. Aivi had responsibilities, PEOPLE vying for their attention, people wanting to hire them, projects to complete, a house, a spouse, etc etc My life was (and kiiiinda still is?) nothing like that, and as our Mutual Creatives Struggling to MAKE THINGS and Get By transforming into Yep I Am Still Here but you are SUCCESSFUL I think that really put a lot of strain on things I never accepted until Spinel. After Aivi hit it big with SU, in particular, they gradually started...acting differently. Acting in ways that made less and less sense to me. They were a Diamond now. And I was still just what I was. When drawing comparisons to characters on the show, Aivi persistently compared me to Pearl. A fact I once took pride in. They repeatedly compared themself to Garnet. Which...always kind of didn't make sense to me. Aivi wasn't really like Garnet. They are more NOW, though? In the sense of how they act, I suppose. Specifically, one of the last things Aivi said to me was that trying to be friends with me had started feeling like Pearl trying to force Garnet to fuse with her. This was problematic because from my POV nothing of the sort was happening. All I was looking for was occasionally hanging out a few times a year. Like. Ya know. Actually a lot less than what I was looking for with basically all of my other friends. And that was still Too Much? But when I start looking at things like Pink Diamond and Spinel instead of Pearl and Garnet, somehow things make a lot more sense. I was probably too clingy, too exciteable, and what amusement or relief I could provide eventually stopped being useful. Aivi eventually didn't even want to spend time with friends to just...spend time with them. Everything had to have some kind of practical Purpose to it, it had to be contributing to a Goal. I still don't get that, tbh. But I'm also not A Diamond. I'm not Successful. The most responsibility I have right now is fucking hanging up the laundry to dry. I have college loans that have and continue to feel pointless to try and repay. I have severe dental problems I haven't been able to fix. My body fell out of shape because of retail hell, and what energy I’ve had to spare from that always ends up going into the people I love, and trying to keep Making Things. Let's not forget The Complications of coming out and wanting to transition but not possessing the resources to do so. (Aivi was actually super supportive of this btw and was the first person to make me feel comfortable wearing feminine things so yea) Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that MY LIFE is not together. My personality is? I feel like I am finally Myself in terms of mental/emotional stability. And that is largely because Jenny helped me get there. But Aivi helped a lot with that, too. But I think Aivi got to a point where Success was more of a measure of how Grown Up and Healthy one was because despite my behavior, my personality, my mood, what I was asking for, and what I was giving, all changing DRASTICALLY after being with Jenny, I think Aivi still...looked at me the way Pink Diamond looked at Spinel during that song. Like, "yeeeaaaa ok kiddo it's time for me to go now, kinda done here" This is what's so confusing about all of this metaphor/etc. I'm not...like Spinel anymore? My current, post-coming-out self doesn't really relate with Happy OR Angry Spinel. It's almost like Aivi couldn't see me for who I became, and could only see me for who I had been. And maybe that's like why Spinel can't be friends with Steven at the end. It's too painful. I used to take pride in being associated with Pearl because "I'm enough" and "being strong in the REAL way" but now it's more like "oh you just think I'm still hung up and needy and clingy?" which uh don't feel so great a comparison. I can't help but wonder if while working on the movie, Aivi saw some of themself in Pink. Because I'm not the only person who apparently wasn't 'useful' to them anymore. And I'm not saying we should've kept forcing something that wasn't working. Not at all. What we had was good for both us, but it also entailed a lot of patience on my part and effort on theirs. And unlike any of my other long term friends, I often ended up waiting weeks, months, "Happily wondering night after night, Is this how it works? Am I doing it right?"

Years and years of broken friendships, one after the other, most lasting merely 6 months, MAYBE a year at most, with a handful that have lasted since middle school (but which are so much harder to maintain) took a toll on my Adult Self until Jenny, anyway. For quite a long time - the majority of my life, currently - I assumed I just was Too Different and that was why my friendships didn't seem to last, didn't seem to extend to the depths I was looking for. That's perhaps one critical difference between Spinel and I: she's looking for FUN, for smiling faces, for attention, for creating smiles, I just want some fucking consistency. At this point, I'm not even sure WHY I still reach out to people. I don't NEED friendships in that desperate way I used to, back in the Happy/Angry Spinel times. And I've come to terms with that Other Max part of myself and integrated it, accepted it. My worst parts are still me and instead of suppressing them (often by relying on bids of deep friendship with others) I just have to let them EXIST and let them do their thing once in a while. This is ALL why Celeste hit me as hard as it did. Because even if I'm not actually much like Spinel anymore, and Aivi's not really like Pink Diamond, even if I don't actually share much in common with Madeline (other than the subtle 'I drink sometimes to deal with my problems' thing, which I don't anymore) I still comprehend and resonate so much with that concept of just needing to accept the worst parts of yourself and work with them rather than trying to keep them caged up and then they escape and rampage every 5-10 years or so and ruin your life As I felt myself coming to all of these Good Feelings I FINALLY felt like I could help Aivi in the ways they had helped me. That I finally had something to offer I didn't before. Turns out, I didn't, apparently. Aivi had More Important Things to do than visit me in The Garden. And I couldn't blame them. Not a bit. Especially if they had gotten bored of visiting me. I didn't like feeling like a burden on them, either. Can't really argue with that. During the last time we talked, Aivi didn't use the WORDS, didn't literally say them, but I finally could see it: I wasn't Useful anymore. I couldn't Understand, either, because I wasn't Successful. Our friendship was rewarding, but because it required effort. And that effort was still worth it to me, but no longer to them. I was no longer worth it. And despite that, despite starting to feel those hunches, I spent those final months -- as had been the case before, they were afraid to hurt me so avoided actually confronting the problem -- I remained "Happy to listen, Happy to stay Happily watching her drift away" I have no idea if any aspect of our friendship impacted anything Aivi had worked on creatively. TBH Aivi seemed to approach even relationships themselves with more of a logical, pragmatic style -- it was entirely unique compared to anyone I had ever connected with. But if you've read @lis-allwounds then it might not surprise you to know that a lot of what I expressed through Stella and Max, as well as Other Max and Another Stella, channels a lot of these things. I even quoted Aivi directly in the story's end (perhaps foolishly optimistic) And yes, that epilogue moment of sorts is gonna be entirely different if I ever do finish the visual novel. The fact is that we were ALWAYS very different people and our friendship was weird and complicated and hard for one or both of us throughout its, what, 8 year duration? Ironically, I think I took away the opposite 'Character Arc Lesson' they did from all this. But that's just the thing, nothing is permanent for a Human Being. We aren't Gems, we don't actually fuse, we can't just change our appearances when we feel like it, or project ourselves to look how we want to look, or exist for thousands of years. But we DO all have different needs, different ways of understanding those needs, and different ways of needing to adjust or change ourselves or our environments in order to pursue what we want to pursue with the limited time we have here. We tried, hard, and it lasted long enough. If I'm not useful, I'm not useful, I guess? I don't have any ill will toward Aivi, I loved them as a friend and I know they loved me, too, and were better at showing it than most any friends I ever have had. If I'd been better at reciprocating in ways that were actually useful, that would've been good -- but then maybe we wouldn't have become friends in the first place if I hadn't needed 'saving' in the first place, I don't fuckin' know. And I hope my saying all of these things doesn't make anyone think any less of Aivi because your relationship with them is, very likely, not at all personal like mine is. And you know as well as I do how good they are at what they do. Aivi took the time to ease me out of things. Aivi did NOT suddenly up and vanish for thousands of years. While the dynamics of the situation might bare sharp points of similarity, Aivi is not like Pink Diamond and I'm not like Spinel -- not in the present, anyway. Stories help us because they share THREADS with reality but it's always important to recognize those threads for what they are and not confuse them for ropes. And me ranting and tossing all of this out there is something part of me has wanted to do for months but needed to take the time to grieve and process and accept. And maybe it's selfish to be posting all of this, I don't know. But it helps me accept myself and them a lot more. "Finally something finally news about how the story ends" Aivi likely has brand new friends, better ones than me, and I'm willing to bet some of them worked on this movie. And it turned out pretty good, all things considered, probably in part because Aivi was able to focus on it That person I became friends with, she doesn't exist anymore. Just like how who I used to be when Aivi first me, he doesn't exist anymore, either. We both changed, and grew in opposite directions, I guess. We've found happiness and growth and relief in different ways. In the end the Movie helped me come to terms with all of this in a way Angry Spinel younger me couldn't have still hurts yo

"Isn't that lovely?

Isn't that cool?

Isn't that cruel?

And aren't I a fool

to have happily listened,

happy to stay,

happily watching her drift away"

#Steven Universe The Movie #Spinel #Personal #SU #SU Spinel

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