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grison-in-space · 5 months

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Listening to Artificial Condition again, it strikes me how much Murderbot uses empathy reflexively as a survival skill. Look at this bit.

Upon meeting it, ART allows it on board and then announces that it knows that Murderbot is rogue. Then ART threatens to destroy it if it hacks ART's own systems. Murderbot is immediately terrified and shuts down all inputs, gives serious thought to spending the entire three month journey unconscious, and then considers the potential avenues of damage from ART's drones. ART, not realizing why Murderbot had suddenly gone silent, tells it to quit sulking, which understandably pisses off the still-terrified Murderbot. It dumps a bunch of memories of coercive treatment into ART's feed, and ART goes silent.

Then this happens:

Then it said, I’m sorry I frightened you. Okay, well. If you think I trusted that apology, you don’t know Murderbot. Most likely it was playing a game with me. I said, “I don’t want anything from you. I just want to ride to your next destination.” I’d explained that earlier, before it opened the hatch for me, but it was worth repeating. I felt it withdraw back behind its wall. I waited, and let my circulatory system purge the fear-generated chemicals. More time crawled by, and I started to get bored. Sitting here like this was too much like waiting in a cubicle after I’d been activated, waiting for the new clients to take delivery, for the next boring contract. If it was going to destroy me, at least I could get some media in before that happened. I started the new show again, but I was still too upset to enjoy it, so I stopped it and started rewatching an old episode of Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon. After three episodes, I was calmer and reluctantly beginning to see the transport’s perspective. A SecUnit could cause it a lot of internal damage if it wasn’t careful, and rogue SecUnits were not exactly known for lying low and avoiding trouble. I hadn’t hurt the last transport I had taken a ride on, but it didn’t know that. I didn’t understand why it had let me aboard, if it really didn’t want to hurt me. I wouldn’t have trusted me, if I was a transport. Maybe it was like me, and it had taken an opportunity because it was there, not because it knew what it wanted.

The thing about Murderbot's survival is that it clearly involves quite a bit of negotiating with other constructs and bots. That's how it talks its way onto cargo hauler bots in the first place. It uses empathy--envisioning the emotional and cognitive context of the individuals it encounters--to work out what different kinds of people want, so that it can offer them fair trades. It also uses empathy to consider what humans might be looking for, so it can practice blending in and hide.

Murderbot would never have survived so long if it wasn't capable of assessing the individual desires of the people--human, bot, and construct--around it. It thinks about ART's probable fears and motivations so that it can consider whether ART is inherently an ongoing threat or a potential ally.

When your survival depends on evading detection, you get really good at assessing perceptual biases so that you can shape yourself to fit into them. People talk about murderbot being radically empathetic as a choice it makes, or as a feature of its personality that makes it a good person. But I think murderbot would be the the first person to tell you that this empathy is part of its threat assessment suite, a skill that was developed out of necessity in order to allow you to survive.

It is also a trait that makes murderbot a good person, of course: it chooses very carefully to try to survive by doing as little harm as possible and by offering things, like media, that buy it access to things it needs. But it started as a survival skill. It's part of hypervigilance.

I think one of the strengths of this series is that so many of the things we love about SecUnit are traits developed for survival in an inherently threatening world. The shape of its mind and heart have been changed by the trauma of its origin--but they don't make murderbot less good for being altered, even if that skill was developed in a traumatic context.

I like that.

#murderbot #empathy as a tool #note that this is not necessarily natural empathy #it's cognitive and only happens when the adrenaline eases off #going to work my way though the existing published series before I dig into my brand new copy of the new one

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 3 months

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post-s2. good omens mascot here, coping unhealthily.

This is the first proper post I'm writing since the audio breakdown, good thing I queued a POTC one last week, I suppose. Yes I slept through the entire day today, missed the theatre workshop I was supposed to attend and may or may not be listening to A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square on loop. Have an update on my coping because my social life and family are both Tumblr now:

Every song is about them now. A lot were before, but now every single one. Even an old Hindi song from a 1900s Indian military movie that I have not watched, by the way. But the lyrics (thank you Google translate) are: Everybody wants a handful of the sky, everybody searches for a handful of the sky, there is a world waiting to be hugged to the chest, the moon is a fair full of stars, but this heart is still lonely. And of course that makes me think of Crowley as the starmaker. Ow.

I made the very intelligent decision to rewatch the first three episodes of season 2, knowing what the Job minisode and the Edinburgh minisode do to me. I'll be here clutching Crowley, well, hugging him close to the chest, just like that song... ah, fuck, here we go again.

I listened to you all and am drinking a lot of water, since my tear ducts were emptied yesterday and now I'm unable to cry. I also ate too much chocolate.

I searched for sad Aziracrow edits and watched them. Don't look at me. I'm in a hell of my own creation.

I used too many emotions last night and now I feel hollow and achy. Maybe I should cope with humour and write the summaries.

Or maybe that will backfire and I will be filled with horrifying levels of emotion.

I slept. A lot. Many hours. Lots sleep.

So. Well. You know. Adopted child of divorce. You were all right, this is exactly like dealing with a breakup or divorce, but much more painful.

Someone please, please, please stop me from clicking the Crowley whump tag to find fanfiction.

I remember my initial Good Omens posts. I remember calling the fandom sad, desperate, queer and masochistic, and also pointing out how you all blame Neil and then sit and make headcanons that are a hundred times worse than canon.

I was so right. Look at me now, sad, desperate, queer and masochistic, making headcanons that are a hundred times worse than canon.

Wahoo.

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oneatlatime · 5 months

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The Tales of Ba Sing Se PART 2

The Tale of Zuko

Maybe I should make a Zuko's Stupid Faces post.

Zuko and Iroh's whole dynamic in one frame.

This girl is cute. Total girl next door type. She does have fairly horrible taste in men, but she's also very cute.

I just want to take a minute to point out a VERY important distinction. Zuko is not going out on a date. Zuko is not taking a girl out on a date. A girl is taking Zuko out on a date. She's got that arm in a death grip. Not only is that a clever reversal of the usual hetero dynamic, but I'm convinced it's the only way Zuko would ever get any action, so it's also in character.

I know Zuko's social skills are non-existent, but apart from the blow up at the waiter he is actually trying. He's failing, but I have to give him points for trying.

The way this girl's voice actress says "You juggled" made my ears very happy. And the beleaguered "yes. I juggled." is equally good.

Zuko! Tell her you did sword stuff! That's something you can actually do!

It gives me hope that someone so steeped in the most toxic parts of the Fire Nation, for so long, can STILL be so bad at lying, but it would certainly be a handy skill right about now.

I take it back. This girl does have good taste in men. Zuko's such a softie when it counts. He still sucks at being normal, but he just risked his identity because the girl he didn't even plan to go out with was a little bit sad.

This girl is the best.

Ha! He kissed her back! He Did! I saw that!

I take back what I took back. Zuko's evil again. He made my new favourite girl droop.

I love that Iroh's waiting up for him while making it look like he isn't waiting up for him. How many times on their ship, when Zuko was out Blue Spiriting, do you think Iroh found a reason to be randomly sat on the deck at 3 am?

Character development baby! Can you really call yourself loyal to the fire nation if you admit to having a good time on a date with an Earth Kingdom girl?

The Tale of Momo

Pretty.

That was a FILTHY bait and switch. For one shining moment, I had Appa back.

They should take that to June.

Not Appa.

Also not Appa.

I did not have 'Momo gets gaslit' on my Avatar Bingo card. Nor did I have 'interspecies animal friendship angst.'

Are these cat things the raccoons of the Avatar universe? Or the squirrels? Urban scroungers?

I love the idea that this guy just grabs the closest squirrel, sticks a hat on it, and expects it to dance. He got lucky with Momo.

I thought they were taking the animals to the pound, but this is very much a butcher. Which means that in Ba Sing Se, they eat varmint. Stay away from the hot dog carts.

That's very effective Simglish.

Thank god for thumbs.

Aw they're friends! This has Aristocats vibes, when O'Malley and the girl cat are getting together near the end.

And one final Fuck You, because god forbid Momo's tale ends on a happy note.

I'm guessing that's an Appa print, but couldn't it also be a platypus bear?

Something about the cats standing vigil over Momo's grief gets to me.

Final thoughts

I'll go through each of these stories individually, but first some general comments.

Last episode was kind of intense, and definitely ended on a downer (not that this one didn't), so it was a good call to at least start this episode off on something a bit gentler.

I was really impressed with the soundtrack throughout. Apart from the Tale of Momo where it's the animal noises that are front and centre, the music is doing a lot of work in every story, the strings especially. The strings are doing emotional work, plot stuff, and even humour. Seriously, next time you rewatch this episode, pay attention to the strings. These shorts are actually very light on dialogue (apart from Sokka's), but they don't feel that way because the music is doing the talking.

I'm assuming that this all took place over three days at least, since Iroh, Zuko, and Momo's tales seem to end on different evenings. So I don't think calling this episode 'day in the life' is accurate. My bad. It also occurs to me that this kind of episode format would be a great way of showing time has passed. If they had had an episode like this in the Northern Water Tribe - after Katara beat the crap out of Poophead but before the Fire Nation attacked - I would have liked the pacing of the whole finale arc better.

On to the stories!

The Tale of Toph and Katara

It might be because I didn't understand what this episode was doing yet, but this one didn't do much for me. It was good to see Toph have a moment of self-doubt, but I never would have assumed, based on her previous behaviour, that her appearance was her proverbial weak spot. Katara did a really good job at building her back up, and she was delightfully (and appropriately) understated for once. When she's reassuring Aang of something (especially in Season 1) Katara tends to got from 0 to 60 very quickly, so it was nice to see her be reassuring in a quiet, non-steamrolling way. Is this Katara character development? Apart from the fact that Toph quite literally got her eyeballs sanded, nothing much in this episode stuck out to me. Except those bitchy voices. Those were like knives in my brain.

The Tale of Iroh

So many questions! Is Lu Ten buried in Ba Sing Se? How is that grave not defaced yet? How did Iroh get a copy of his son's picture? They lost everything at the North Pole, right? Did he ask the people who got him their passports for a picture of his son too? Does Zuko know/remember that it's his cousin's birthday? If so, why isn't he there offering Iroh the world's most awkward hug? Given the fact that Iroh spent the whole day helping people, including a very misguided youth, and given that Iroh says something along the lines of "if only I could have helped you [his son]" does this imply that Lu Ten was going through a crisis at the time of his death? Was he misguided like the wannabe mugger? Is Zuko not the first Fire Nation Prince that Iroh has had to guide through an identity/existential crisis? Is Zuko going to be the first time Iroh succeeds at guiding a Fire Nation prince through an identity/existential crisis? Does Iroh live in perpetual fear of failing Zuko the way he seems to believe he failed his son? Am I reading too much into this?

To be quite honest, this story would have hit me harder if I had remembered going into it that Iroh had a son. Lu Ten takes being a textual ghost to a whole new level. Also the 'In honor of Mako' text confused me. And worried me a little.

The Tale of Aang

I liked this one! Aang can't help Appa at the moment, but he can help all the Appa stand ins who aren't fortunate enough to have an Aang to help them. Aang is a nice little boy! Of course he'd free a bunch of animals without thinking about the consequences and the epic pile of platypus bear dung he's just landed the zookeeper in with the Dai Li. I liked the animal designs. I liked the earthbending. I liked the Siamese cat representation. I loved cabbage man. I think that, if Appa could have known, he would have approved. I also think that I'm once again reading too much into this. it was nominally a fun fluff piece elaborating on a established emotional conflict (Appa missing), which gave it just enough weight to be slightly more than a fluff piece.

The Tale of Sokka

I am entirely serious when I say that 'poetry bouncer' is my favourite joke so far in the WHOLE show. I love absurdity played entirely earnestly. It's fridge funny too. The longer I contemplate the implications, the funnier it gets. What past event required a poetry bouncer be introduced? He's not there to protect the students or the teacher; he's here to reinforce the structure of the Haiku by force. Was he hired by the concept of Haiku? Is Haiku taken so seriously in Ba Sing Se that he's needed to break up cat fights between students? There is a rich well of haiku-related hijinks just hinted at by his presence, and I want to know more.

Sokka is so often his own worst enemy that it makes sense that he's taken out by his own hubris. That fortune teller lady was absolutely a crook, but she did one hell of an accurate cold read on Sokka.

The Tale of Zuko

Credits tell me that the girl's name is Jin. I would like to congratulate the creators of Avatar for managing to illustrate romantic interest so palpably without resorting to heart eyes and steam whistle noises. Nothing wrong with those; I'm just impressed by how much of Jin's interest in Zuko you can feel. Also, she'd better be more than a single episode character, because I need more of this sweetheart. She's a real contender for displacing Toph as my favourite girl in the cast.

To be fair to Zuko, he did make Jin droop (UNFORGIVABLE), but it was also the right call. He can't date her honestly. It IS complicated. And I don't think any Earth Kingdom girl (worth dating) would knowingly go out with Fire Nation royalty. Jin wanted Lee the Tea Boy. Try as he might, Zuko can't stop being Zuko. I would argue that he shouldn't stop being Zuko. His flashback mom told him not to forget who he was, so I'd also argue that the narrative doesn't want Zuko to stop being Zuko either. I guess it's a case of right girl, wrong time. It looks like she's cool with him being a firebender, but firebending and being the Fire Lord's son are not the same magnitude of hurdle to dating. Maybe when the war's over they can hook up again.

The Tale of Momo

I think this qualifies as cruelty to the audience. I got the impression that this story was crafted borderline maliciously, to make the viewers suffer angst dump after angst dump.

I liked seeing things from Momo's perspective. I loved the animal noises, which really got across a shocking amount of emotion. Those, combined with body language, were as effective as any spoken script. These cartoon people really know how to use their medium.

It absolutely kills me that Momo is missing Appa, and since he doesn't understand human speech, he can't even be comforted by knowing that his humans are actively looking for him. If you've ever seen one of your pets missing another of your pets in real life, you know there's nothing worse than the helplessness that comes with not being able to explain or magically summon their friend back from the kennel, or the vet, or the dead. All you can do is give them hugs. I'm glad that Momo got a street cat support group at the end of the episode, but the animal grief at the beginning was hard to get through. It's sweet to have confirmation that Momo sees Appa as family, but surely they could have showed that to us in a way that doesn't make me need to hug the stuffing out of my own pets?

Final Final Thoughts for real this time

This episode wrings you out a little. Fully a third of the stories are about Appa, despite him not being there. At least half are about missing someone who isn't there. At least half are bittersweet.

I liked this episode format. I hope they use it again next season. Only Toph and Katara's tale felt too short to me. The rest did such a good job at drawing me in, that when I went back to check timestamps I was surprised by how short these stories are.

I'm going to go eat too much chocolate.

#atla #avatar: the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #the tales of ba sing se

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inkstainedhandswithrings · 1 year

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gaaaaaahh okay, I just finished rewatching the citadel arc and I have SO MANY FEELINGS?????

like, the amount of clones that died in that arc is like super high??? and like watch it okay, because EVRYTIME a clone dies, either Rex or Cody or Fives or another clone there will look to the fallen brother only for one of the Jedi to go "We must keep going." in their ominous Jedi voice and then the clones faces fall. And no, it didn't only happen with Echo (which is a whole rant in and off itself), it happend every. single. time.

by the end of it two clones fall off a wall, and as they walk past the bodies the Jedi don't even acknowledge them while Rex looks at them and doesn't even attempt to stop anymore because well, dead anyway, right?

and don't even get me started on HOW DEFEATED Fives sounds after Echos death, like he doesn't even have faith anymore that they'll get outta there alive. FIVES. MR. SUNSHINE AND OPTIMISM. MR. BLAST MY WAY OUTTA ANYTHING NO PROBLEM. (cute moment between him and rex though, when rex helps him up after an explosion, I like to think he did it also as a show of emotional support, but sTILL)

and THEN Piell dies and everybody is like "funeral time, we need to take a minute and honour him even though it could cost us the entire mission and our lives" and I'm??????? WHY???? you had to leave all the clones without ONE WORD of acknowledgement and Piell gets a whole funeral just because he's a Jedi? and like, I love Obi-Wan, okay, but he gives this little funeral speech and honours him and all that, but he doesn't even verbally mention the clones sacrifice, even though the clones ARE RIGHT THERE WITH THEM.

like how's that gotta feel for Fives, who just lost his last batch mate and the only thing that was said after his cry out for his brother was "We gotta go!" like, way to make them all feel like second-class citizens

and like, later on Plo does refer to the remaining team as "survivors", which does acknowledge that many lives were lost, which is very in character and I love that, but honestly, it's still like a bandaid on a bandage level wound, yanno? anyway, this was torture, thanks for the experience.

bonus: when tarkin and anakin shake hands in the end of the episode you hear like ONE BEAT of the Imperial March and it chilled me to the bone (a sticker for Obi for saying he doesn't like Tarkin immediately after he left)

bonus bonus: 2/3 of this arc is Anakin bonding with the guy who later tries to slap ahsoka with the death sentence even though she rescued him like three times and I just think that's real cringe bro

#I know this is a long vent it's three in the morning so my thoughts are everywhere okay #the feelings were to many I had to express them yanno #the citadel #clone wars #star wars #the clone wars #clones #swtcw #captain rex #arc trooper fives #arc trooper echo #commander cody #ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #wilhuff tarkin

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bu-blegh-ost · 6 months

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Finished rewatching Loffinlot arc and BY GODS do I love every single last episode of each adventure they go on in Riptide! Every single time they make it feel so special.

Them, admiring their new ship as various people they helped in town gather and provide them with little gifts as they come to bid them farewell,

Sharing stories and a quiet drink with the Prince in the Edison Kingdom

Jay screaming her lungs out, their oath on her lips as they disappear far away from the BLOCK, hugging and happy to still be here together despite so many close calls

The first time they leave Allport, as Earl runs into town providing distraction for them, and Caspian splits their ships apart, each Grandberry Pirate conveying their goodbyes with an understanding and companionship you can only find in the eyes of ones who share your fate.

The crying, the hugging, the words of encouragement and reassurance and a new promise made between a crew, at the end of Feywilde, three souls for too long seperated and broken by it greatly, back together again and hopeful once more

A beautiful wedding, a fruit of their labour and sacrifice in the name of preserving light in the darkness culminating in a ceremony meant to connect two people in a bond just as strong as their own

And with the end of each and every adventure I did not mention, I still feel the same. This wonderful emotion and nostalgia, the melancholy of leaving the ones whose lives have been touched by them, mixed with excitement of what awaits them in the future.

Just...Riptide, man. You know? Freaking Riptide.

#jrwi riptide #just roll with it #jrwi #gillion jrwi #chip jrwi #jay jrwi #jrwi spoilers

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butterflydm · 8 months

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wheel of time s2!! 2x1-2x3: first impressions

Just watched the first three episodes and jotting down my thoughts before I finally remove my filters and read other people's thoughts. <3

I'm sure I missed a bunch, but I'll be rewatch the next couple of days.

There will be mild book spoilers in the sense that I'll talk about differences and pacing and whatnot, but only through book 2, The Great Hunt.

Okay, okay okay okay. I was surprised by so many things, even with the teasers and trailers!

I just feel so hyped and thrilled and I hope that everyone else loved that as much as I did, wow.

I don't even know where to start!

I was NOT expecting the Seanchan to be introduced so quickly! Holy shit! Uno is DEAD! And in such a nasty way. That was such a bold introduction to the Seanchan. And now Perrin is split off on his own with Elyas and the wolves. I loved the talk that he and Ishamael had and it really set up a reason for Perrin to worry about the wolf inside him too.

My girl Elayne! She was very sweet. I'm looking forward to her getting to know Nynaeve in the upcoming episodes. I am sorry for @markantonys's sake that we still have not heard anything about her brothers, though!

Egwene and Nynaeve getting very different Tower experience overall. Liandrin taking Nynaeve under her wing seemed... sincere? We still don't entirely know her situation.

Nynaeve's journeys through the arches made me cry! I'm just... it was a lot, I feel very emotional.

@markantonys was right that they made Verin and Adelas sisters and it worked really well. That whole plotline with them and Moiraine and Lan was very interesting and surprising. So Moiraine has the info about Toman Head.

Mat's plotline! Mat and Min being captives together, except that Min is working for Liandrin (on a promise to be left along by Aes Sedai? Moiraine's methods backfiring on her) so Liandrin's eyes are on Mat even though she's pretending to let him leave. I am fascinated by this plotline (is she going to lead him to Falme? is she going to lead him to Cairhien?) I also wonder if part of the reason she's willing to betray him is due to that viewing she had of Mat stabbing Rand (which was, again, fascinating!). Mat almost talking to Egwene was heartbreaking, thanks!

And my boy Rand!!!! He's trying to find his own mentors (first Errol with learning sword forms and then trying to get Logain to teach him). And everything that Selene said was just... amazingly double-sided. Being with you helps me remember the man I was in love with indeed, lol! (also, um, given that that last sex scene with Selene was a dream of Rand's, apparently he kinda wants someone to call him 'my lord' during sex so, that's interesting -- also, dream!Rand had Selene's number better than awake!Rand)

I love that we got to see the EF5 being connected in their hearts even when they were separated from each other.

Oh, man, I'm just so overwhelmed. Will definitely be doing a deeper dive on all these episodes this weekend!

!!!!

#butterfly watches wot #wot #wheel of time #wot prime spoilers #wot show spoilers #wot s2 spoilers #wot 2x1 spoilers #wot 2x2 spoilers #wot 2x3 spoilers #the wheel of time #wot book spoilers #the great hunt

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softboiledwonderland · 5 months

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I'm rewatching The Librarians and I know everyone says S4 is the weakest season but like. it's perfect? It's literally art? Yes they went out on a limb a bit with some of the choices (not talking about the LITs arguing over who should be the Librarian, btw - of course they would! they had a whole episode about self-fulfilling prophecies! it makes so much sense in the context of the plot and their personal development), but! The last two episodes are perfect, just perfect, so genuine and heartfelt and earnest, everything I've loved about this show since the beginning, brought up to the next emotional level because hey - Eve carried the entire Library in her head and that's what saved it. And so did Flynn (Flynn!! Asylum Flynn broke me), and Jacob, and Cassandra, and Ezekiel! All of them are the heart of the Library, all of them are its keepers and its friends, they carry entire worlds in their heads and that's what saved the world! (I want to add something about Jenkins here too - I guess it's enough to say that none of them even wanted to stay on after what happened to him, of course he is its heart and keeper and friend too.)

That entire beginning of And the Trial of One, all dark and quiet and homey with Cassandra deciding to switch out the animal-cruelty stuff in the magic spell for tofu alternatives, hits so different knowing what's going to happen, and then there's that nightmare of a trial, and after that we step into that awful beige, mundane world without color or light or anything that means something, and Eve is trying to gather everyone and save them and slowly forgetting her home, everything that made her human instead of a shell, grasping at something that keeps slipping away like the memory of a dream… And Flynn!! Flynn who has been there for ages, and is still clinging to it! And the other three, who never forgot their dreams either!

And the writing, just the writing and the background music and the performances:

"You wonderful woman! You brought us all home." "You'll make me cry. I'm just a Guardian. Just doing my job." "No, you are the Guardian. You are my Guardian. Our Guardian." ;_;

"No, I gave everything I had to the Library, I gave it my love, I gave it my trust, and it took Jenkins! And I hate it!" (both Cass and I start sobbing here) "My best friend the sword, he taught me how to parry and thrust!" Flynn I love you so much <3

"We don't have to go home. We're already there."

I wouldn't say S4 is my favorite season, but in so many ways it's the most special one. Not because we say goodbye to the Library, but because the characters almost did - and then they brought it back, letting us know that it will always be there for us too.

#the librarians #eve baird #flynn carsen #jacob stone #cassandra cillian #ezekiel jones #jenkins #don't know if this makes sense #but I love this show so much #my happy show #that makes me cry on a regular basis #aaaand now I feel like writing more fanfic #but the fandom is so quiet and it's not as fun #I wish I could have seen it in its heyday #oh well fingers crossed re: the spinoff <3

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seventhdoctor · 7 months

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Soulshipping rambling: Just how does Judai relate to his past life? How does that affect his relationship with Yubel?

Bunch of musing below, now updated with screenshots while I'm reposting stuff that never made it to tags because Tumblr is a functional website. I think this is the last repost but it's gonna be me yelling a lot about these two.

(Also, happy anniversary to these guys! GX episode 155 aired October 3, 2007.)

In their original lives Judai promised Yubel he’d only love them, after Yubel had already voluntarily become a monster dedicated to protecting him. In the present Judai remembers their past lives while Yubel is trying to destroy the universe, tortured into insanity by a combination of his mistake and the Light of Destruction’s corruption.

Before Judai remembers, he only sees Yubel as his mess that he has to clean up - if any emotional attachment remains, it's buried within his memory twice over. But once he remembers, he instantly flips from "you’re evil and deluded and I will stop you at any cost" to "I accept your love (metaphorically), you need healing and I will risk my entire existence to help you."

(Episode 153, after Yubel explains Spell Chronicle)

(Episode 155, Judai chooses to do that. I haven't stopped thinking about this moment since my rewatch)

What exactly is he thinking at that moment when he flips? The decision to fuse with Yubel is about taking responsibility (growing up and redeeming himself for his mistakes) as well as - or even more than - a matter of love (acting on his feelings about Yubel). But also, there’s so many angles to what he’s feeling about those two things, and how much of each factors into exactly why he chooses to fuse their souls.

The flashback to their past lives is brief, less than three minutes of mostly exposition, and you don’t really get a full sense of just how much Judai connects with his past life beyond the line "I remember… They’re me and Yubel in our past lives" (paraphrased) before he watches his past self make that defining promise.

How much does he remember? Does he feel like a continuation of his past life in that moment, or like the next version of the young prince? I feel the answer to that question changes the meaning of his decision to fuse their souls together, in essence ensuring they can’t be separated again as a gesture of love and/or responsibility.

If he feels a sense of continuity with his past self, then that decision is a continuation of that promise to love Yubel, and an as-it-should-be reunion between guardian and guarded.

If he views his past self as someone connected to but separate from himself, then continuing that promise is more of a decision he takes upon himself to stay connected to someone he still feels tied to.

...Or maybe not. Maybe it’s simply a sense of duty to someone he’s hurt, someone he promised to love in another life and feels obligated to love in the present.

(Judai's smile when remembering his friends transitions into a determined expression just before he declares a fusion of his and Yubel's souls. Also, get rekt Amon.)

How much responsibility does he feel to uphold the vows of his past self? How much responsibility does he feel to heal someone who’s been hurt badly because of his mistakes (which, to be fair, were made because Yubel was attacking his neighbors to begin with)? Complicating this question is the massive sacrifice Yubel made to become what they are, a transformation that persists through lifetimes all for Judai's protection.

Yubel is tied to the past in a way that Judai doesn't have to be. Does this change the nature of what Judai feels toward Yubel? Is loving Yubel Judai's obligation, his nature, or his choice? Can it be multiple of these things, or all three?

You could argue it's none of those things, really; you could say Judai owes Yubel nothing and doesn't care about Yubel at all, but simply fused with them to save his friends and the world. I think that interpretation ignores how Judai's attitude towards Yubel visibly changes once he remembers the true depth of their connection, though, and what that says about how he views them.

But without direct word about what Judai was thinking during this moment, in the end the exact feelings Judai has about Yubel and the fusion are a matter of interpretation and/or headcanon. Regardless, it leaves room for a lot of fascinating questions about how their past bears upon the present...which are never revisited for some reason.

Well, that's what fandom is for I guess. The only value I have to contribute to the GX fandom is yelling about Soulshipping so here I am.

#yugioh gx #yugioh series #meta #soulshipping #judai yuki #yubel #i wasn't sure i wanted to repost this #but you know what #i'm about to have a very exhausting october #so this is me treating myself #by making my love for reincarnation stories everyone else's problem #also thanks as usual to kaiowut99/GymLeaderLance99 for the subs #sorry i've run up the ep155 view count a ton for reference purposes

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unlikelyjapan · 9 months

Text

s2e4 rewatch notes

I'm a bit tired, please forgive the typos:

At the intro, we get a montage of the permits and files and drills, the sense of urgency - the furiousness of the work and notes begging Carmy for something (that was probably already set on his list in the last episode). I guess I stopped paying attention to the timelines - they're now 7 weeks out with no walls and we haven't really gotten into the meat of the series yet - meaning we don't really see Carmy flake the fuck out until 1 month from opening.

Sugar's "don't tell anyone - this is my problem" bit is so sad, watching her castigate herself for bringing another her/carmy/mikey/donna/their dad into the world. I also hate the way such a heavy moment was turned into such a "womp womp - wall fell" moment, as the situation (and Sugar) deserved a lot more gravitas.

But this is a show through the male lens. Richie feels vindicated that he "guessed it". Carmy doesn't know how to show his concern (and to be fair, she'd probably pummel him if he expressed anything in that moment), but the fact that he still lets his sister shoulder so much of the restaurants burdens alone through the rest of the series shows the level he disassociates from his family (even his only caring/loving family member) at every turn.

Marcus is such a good son - I hope in season 3 we get a (posthumous, I presume) look at who his mother was, what shaped his character, how his brother/father play a role (if any) in his current family dynamic etc.

The Chester + Marcus pairing is a magical talisman that protects the show from a deluge of male-on-male emotional evasion, jousting and toxic co-dependency. I don't care that Chester is about as believable as Claire as a character, mainline that shit into my veins.

I love that Carmy ensured that Marcus would have the identical experience he had when he staged in Copenhagen (as described in Fishes to Mikey) - this is in no way coincidental, he would have had to make plenty of arrangements/requests to Marie for things to play out that way. He wanted Marcus to see Copenhagen through the same magical lens he did, knowing Marcus needed the inspiration and a break from his own version of family strife.

The invisible cat (Coco), the looming presence of Marcus' mom on the viewers minds, and the bike scene are three great examples of things that feel foreboding (like the other shoe is going to drop on Marcus) but never actually amount to anything. Whether existential or hopeful, I like it.

"Do you know how to make Shisho Gelee?" - this is such a gentle test to see how insecure Marcus is in this environment. Passing him the recipe as he's googling was an awesome act of amnesty. It immediately brings out Marcus' curiosity in the next scenes - he's asking all the right questions and looks so joyful when Luca gives him concise answers.

The scenes played out to Otis Redding's "I've Been Loving You Too Long", starting with "You're tired - and you want to be free" playing as Marcus walks home. Temporarily free from the impending death of his mother at home after a long illness. Free from the constraints of the (up until now) low-level jobs Marcus' has held down in kitchens with minimal inspiration and nowhere to go. Free from loneliness? The next cut is Sydney interviewing staff, as if on cue.

The quenelle - the heavy-lovin' part of the song as Marcus' is immersed in his work with Luca, falling in love with the ritualization of his craft. Things in Marcus' life haven't exactly been going right, but this is a place of solace. He follows this up by calling his Mom - professing his love for his craft, as well as for her.

Sidebar: The minty snickers bar is almost a sexual release scene during the ballad. I get why so many folks were led down the road to hell that is Marcus x Luca fanfic, as weird as I think that is (no hate! do you!)

The song ends with the pastry dissection on the boat. This man found love/spiritual release in Copenhagen, just like Carmy. "Mission accomplished, I guess."

Fak saying "Dude! We're best friends, we don't tell secrets!" re: the alliance stuff. So....every dude at The Beef/Bear is his best friend, Sugar is Mommy, and Sydney (and Tina, for that matter) are ????

I feel like Fak may be the thing that continues to insulate The Beef/The Bear as a Berzatto clubhouse for wayward boys at this juncture, but I'm originally from Canada (and thus have been force-fed Matty Matheson a.k.a Fak-Light since the mid-aughts) so there's probably some bias creeping in here.

Luca started as a chef 14 years ago. If he entered the profession and competed against Carmy at the same level/experience as a high-school graduate, that makes him and Carmy in the rough age range of 29-32, adjusting for education sans A-levels in the UK. We can put away that screenrant article and die in peace now.

Mikey was "Really tight, but also really out of his fucking mind, and he wanted to open a bakery". Something something Berzatto parallels.

Luca says "I've got a younger sister, somewhere, yeah" after asking about Marcus' family. Luca's got a case of the family damage, the trouble in school, a past-tense case of the ferocious mopes - all the same watermarks as Carmy. Meanwhile, Marcus was just sharing his mothers prognosis, and speaks of his brother with no ill will (even though he doesn't appear to be in the caretaking position with his mom) - are they foreshadowing that Marcus' doesn't have the damage that makes a truly great/ritualized/masochistic chef in the long run?

Luca's may have learned more lessons in life than Carmy has (in part by being thwarted by Carmy) but the habits borne out of family evasion/searching for something else are so engrained with that backstory. Or maybe Marcus' represents the happier/new way of doing things, breaking the toxic cycle (more thoughts on this down the line).

Luca worked to keep up with Carmy after he came to a place of acceptance that he'd never be the best, and that ended up being enough for him. Maybe a blessing is that Marcus' gets to sidestep the whole toxic cycle and just absorb knowledge (from Luca, from Carmy, from Syd) - he's not in a running position, just like Tina.

But of course, we never worry about Tina - she's too self-possessed. Marcus is emotional and easily influenced, so I have a feeling his narrative could turn on a dime.

Luca says "At a certain stage, it becomes less about skill and more about being open....." In summary:

Marcus - Open, but I fear could easily become closed in the wrong environment/trauma.

Carmy - Closed, doesn't really understand how to open when not hiding behind the guise of the restaurant/Syd/emotional fabrications

Sydney - Wants open, but always closes instinctively for self-protection.

Natalie - Open, with the limited emotional tools she has at her disposal.

Richie - *learning* to open, but that's a long fucking road.

Tina - Open

"It helps to have good people around you, too" - see above. The Bear represents the inherent goodness of people, with familial history run roughshod over it.

Marcus asking "Was It worth it? The time you put in" quickly followed by Luca saying "I dunno....ask me tomorrow"

Isn't this the feeling of fecklessness that almost everyone has with their creative craft being converted to labor? There's been a lot of theories floating around that Carmy doesn't like cooking anymore/never liked cooking - could it just be the long-standing feeling of irrelevance when you've taken a deep-dive into your craft for so long that you can't see the forest (inspiration, caring for people) through the trees (red tape, skill level, trauma etc.)?

The man on the bike could also represent saving someone the way that Marcus can't save his mom - it alleviates some of the feelings of powerlessness, and the exchange of comfort in the hug a reciprocity he can no longer experience with her.

"Are you sure you want to get back on the bike?"

A bad thing happened, but the man feels compelled to keep moving - as Marcus said to Syd in S1 "just keep moving" - there are a bunch of metaphors for just proceeding with the restaurant here.

Syd is literally just being goofy and talking to Marcus like a friend when he first calls - I guess I imagined there being a little more heat/aloofness there on her behalf, but it's giving friend-zone. She wouldn't act so familiar if there was a crush, I don't feel its in her DNA....

Marcus sharing the nightmare about his mom's impending death with Sydney is huge (again, the other shoe dropping) - Sydney tries to give an empathetic response (she's not great at anything with a whiff of mortality to it, but she approaches the topic with optimism) and caps it off with a "ugghh - I miss you man" as a reassuring gesture - he's her friend and a great source of comfort.

He nods quietly, waits a beat, and says "I miss you too" - and you can tell the pregnant pause has let Syd know that there's gravity/consequences to her words. She diffuses with the freeze humor because what the hell else are you going to do once a guy tells you about his dying mom nightmare, you spurt out a casual "I miss you bro" and he responds back tenderly that he misses you too. Unenviable.

"Okay, goodnight dude" - Syd hangs up immediately. Oof. Everyone talks about Syd getting a love interest in season 3 to level the stakes with Carmy, but I want Marcus' to bag a hot expediter or something just so there's a bit of joy in his life without a crazy dramatic subplot ensuing.

The mild smile on Marcus' face is so peaceful when he masters the dessert. It's such a quiet satisfaction you can only get when you create things. What a nice way to end the episode.

Holy crap, this was far too long. If you stuck it out, thank you!

#the bear fx #the bear season 2 #the bear spoilers #the bear #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #marcus brooks #syd x carmy #marcus the bear #the bear s2

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bunnakit · 5 months

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last twilight e3 thoughts feelings etc

so in the past ive watched the episodes and digested them and come back and rewatched to put together my thoughts but im kinda crunched for time today and have a mountain of work to do sooo i'm just gonna do this in one sitting and i'm so sorry if it's not as good or as coherent as what i usually deliver aaa. it's also going to be a bit longer than normal probably but i'll try to cut down on stuff that seems unnecessary or maybe just too obvious to comment on.

OH ITS STILL REALLY LONG EVEN WITH EDITING I'M SO SORRY.

oh them being playful with each other is everything to me. oh my god and Mhok learned, he listened to Porjai and he learned to organize and clean and do things with Day as an active participant so he knows where everything is and is taking control of his own life. oh we're only 3 minutes in and i'm emotional, okay.

i do love that we get to see the way Day has isolated himself and that while his family haven't helped there's also a large part of it that is his doing. ive said it before but when you're newly disabled it can be so so easy to isolate yourself. hell, i've been diagnosed for almost 10 years and i still do it from time to time as my condition worsens because it's hard. there are so many questions you have to answer, there's the anxiety of not knowing if people are going to be accommodating to your needs, and sometimes it takes twice or even three times the energy it used to take before because every action is a little harder now. it can be terrifying to put yourself out there again and you will lose friends in the process. there will be people that don't understand, that find you to be an inconvenience, that won't make accommodations for you, and it will hurt every time but saying goodbye to those people is always ultimately for the better - but it doesn't make it hurt less. as much as i'd love the realism of it, i hope we don't have to see Day go through that.

Day's story about his friend is interesting, too. he says he doesn't want to be pitied by his friends but the thing is. they just did that, they accommodated their friend, and from the sound of it they did it without judgement. so why couldn't it be the same for him? it just shows more of his anxiety and his fear.

"once i'm ready you'll be the first to get my invitation card." Porjai and Mhok's friendship means so so fucking much to me.

"i felt like my life was worthless. all i saw in people's eyes was insult."

screaming. crying. throwing up. i don't need to say anything about this but i thought you all should know it made me ill.

here's the thing, my best friend and i dated in high school, we were 16 and fucking stupid and toxic and our home lives were shit and we took it out on each other and we made each other fucking miserable by the end of things. we didn't talk again for over five years. it took time to come back together, to heal and accept our own faults in what went wrong. we stumbled here and there as we came back together but now? almost 10 years later i don't know what i'd do without him. that's my platonic soulmate, that's the one person besides my husband i can share anything with. fuck, he knows more about my life than my husband does because he was there to see me at my worst, at the scariest point in my life where i almost wasn't around anymore to see tomorrow. that kind of friendship is so fucking special, i cannot even properly put it into words, and for Mhok to keep that? to have that with Porjai? i'm so fucking glad he has that. i'm so glad he got to keep his platonic soulmate.

small aside, i love that Mhok consistently announces himself to Day. it's a little action but it's so considerate. he's honestly doing such an incredible job.

Day puts his sunglasses on like armor; like they can shield him from the judging stares or looks of pity he can't see. maybe someday he won't need them, not because his heart has hardened to take the blows, but maybe because he knows Mhok is by his side. because remember - it's the way they look at us.

"i heard you wanted to take time off and focus on badminton" Night i'm going to drown you in your own toilet. this is just furthering my thoughts from episode 2 that Night is ashamed of his brother and his condition, or perhaps that the family is trying to hide his condition for some fucking stupid reason.

the bravery it took Day to come here and admit whats happening to his is huge, but i'm also in love with the admissions admin saying sure, you can have time off, but you're not allowed to quit. you're not allowed to give up on yourself.

"we must live with hope, Day" and that's it. you have to. you just have to. every day is going to be so hard and so much, you'll have good and bad days, but at least in all those days you'll have hope. and maybe someday that hope won't be for new eyes. maybe that hope will turn into acceptance, into determination, into pride at what you've accomplished in spite of it all. in my opinion, hope is an amazing fuel but it's not sustainable, it's just a vehicle to get you to where you need to be.

Mhok asking a blind man for a tour, oh fuck fuck fuckfuckufkcufk-- Mhok essentially saying show me your world exactly as you remember it, let me in. see how things have changed and how they've remained the same and do it with me by your side.

THE WAY MHOK SHIELDS HIM AT THE LIBRARY. DAY DOESN'T NEED TO WEAR HIS SUNGLASSES LIKE ARMOR BECAUSE MHOK IS BY HIS SIDE AS HIS SHIELD. chewing my own arm off brb.

"and you also have me. nothing to be afraid of" because i will always shield you, i will always protect you, i will stand by your side AAAA--

on part 3/4 now, i promise i'll shut the fuck up soon. if you've read this far pls take this as a smooch checkpoint, i'm giving you a little forehead smooch. have you had any water today? taken your meds? relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw.

ok back to it - Mhok continuously having Day make his own selections in these various machines. Day's fate is in his hands, he can do these things himself, but Mhok will be there with him the whole way.

"my eyes don't work well but my legs do just fine." this is such a massive leap from the man that wouldn't even leave his bedroom, from the man that was suffocating in his environment. Day is no longer a dying man, a shambling corpse. he is an active participant in his own life again.

"stay close to me, that's all i need" bitch i'm gonna throw up, you can't just hit me with that after that's all i've been saying this whole time what the fuck.

OH FUCK ME. okay. alright. hang on. so when they enter the shop Mhok describes it to Day, explains where the jeans are, where the shirts are, asks him what to do and what he wants to take a look at. this is a direct antithesis of Night in episode 1 asking where Day was going to wait for him, where he could leave him so he could get his shit done. Day isn't being asked to wait, to just sit idle while life passes him by, he's being asked what he wants to do, where he wants to go, what he wants to see. FUUUUUCK. and knowing Mhok is doing this because Day expressed that he liked dressing nicely? how the fuck am i supposed to just go to my job like a normal person after this episode.

wow the shirt buttoning scene just made me so mentally ill. right now, Mhok is doing his job. he's helping Day get dressed. but someday? someday this could be Mhok dressing Day not because he needs him to help but simply because Mhok likes doing to for Day. there's the sensuality of caring for your partner, of running your hands over the planes of their shoulders, of skimming your fingers down their chest to pluck every button. it's an exploration and a declaration of love. if we get this again in a future scene and it's something like that please remember me fondly because i will perish.

at the bookstore Mhok recognizing Day doesn't want to wait, but Day has become so accustomed to the other people in his life telling him what to do that he falls back into that behavior - but Mhok doesn't let him. he prioritizes Day's needs and desires, even if it's something as little as finding a book, without being asked.

THE LAST PAGE IS MISSING.

(because one can't see his future and the other can't see in the future, but also because they'll make their own ending, they'll face that when they get there, but they'll do it together -- what if i lost my shit completely of it?)

when Mhok leaves Day to get him a drink the camera is focused on Day and the clear warring emotions on his face but if you look in the background Mhok hesitates, he stops and turns a few times to look at day. he's reluctant to leave him and worried. Mhok worries so much but it's always so understated or in the background, covered by the emotions of others he values above himself. (or overlooked because of 'what type of person he is')

while its anxiety inducing i do enjoy this regression of behavior because adapting to a new life is hard. you will regress, you will stumble, you will fall into old habits or sometimes old fears will return. its what you do after that that is important. the one thing i hope doesn't happen is i hope this doesn't cause a rift with Porjai. i think Mhok needs her right now, maybe not forever, but definitely right now.

HE PUT ON THE FUCKING SHIRT. THE FUCKING SHIRT DAY COULD SEE FROM MARS. OH MY GOD. i know this doesn't need to be commented on, i know it's obvious, but FUUUUCK.

Day's mom trying to weaponize Mhok's past and Mhok taking the ammunition from her hands and telling Day himself. the acceptance of the past and the determination to move on and grow from it. Day's refusal to let the past repeat itself with a new caretaker. whoo boy.

and again Day wants to see Mhok, because even bruised and battered Mhok is worth seeing.

if the last episode ends with "sweet dreams/good night" i will be burying myself alive, thanks.

tagging @benkaaoi and @callipigio as requested (if you want to be added to my last twilight meta tag list just let me know!)

THE PINK SHIRT RUINING HIS BAD BOY IMAGE BECAUSE IT IS BEING RUINED. HE'S MOVING ON, HE'S GROWING, HE'S BECOMING A NEW PERSON. FUCK OFF.

i'm so so sorry this was so long, every episode makes me feel more and more things and makes me analyze shit more and more.

#last twilight #last twilight the series #ltts meta #bunn meta #mhokday #morkday

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tatasoom · 5 months

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PREVIEW IS PLAYING WITH US [2]

... not actually playing, but fooling SO DAMN HARD. P'Aof is going to destroy our hearts even more this time! Let me tell you secrets of episode 6!

Well, episode 5 made me so emotional invested that I still have a lot to say. However we need to move on (like Day with his feelings for August) and prepare ourselves for episode 6. I needed to rewatch all materials many times to find some evidence, because everything seemed pretty obvious (running), but when I found what I found... Fasten your seatbelts, my friends.

As we already know next episode will be about Day starting training after P'On's visit. Let me take a moment to say that I'm so happy for this man: it seems he's dating that girl from Tinder yay!!

Just one little disclaimer: this time I don't have enough material for proper timing predictions, so I just give you a bunch of random situations.

1: August visiting Day

It's Converse vs Vans, haha! We'll see August who came to visit Day. Mhok is trying to be protective, but let's be realistic he doesn't have any rights to decide whether August can come in or not. That's why August will see Day. It'll happen definitely after that P'On's invitation to enjoy running race next month. Mhok will bring Day's sneakers. Just to end up having August near again, ah...

2: Wanna have a dinner?

This is the most exciting part of the preview. They will spent this day with August, three of them with Mhok being a third wheel (I have a theory that it's P'On who invited August to join running race, don't ask me why, I will be happy to be wrong...) However later, when it's dark outside and there're just two of them again, Mhok is definitely trying to ask Day for a date. Even though they both know that there's another guy who Day have feelings for. Maybe it turned out that those feelings aren't there anymore? Interesting!

3. Happiness or sadness?

I know everyone is waiting for these scenes with sunset (or sunrise?) and Day and Mhok being extremely close to each other and Mhok placing his hands on Day's hands looking with those loving eyes like Day is the most beautiful form of sun in the sky and who even cares about those sunsets and sunrises... But there's something tricky!

First of all Mhok will give Day something like... vitamins? Or maybe it's medicine for... for what? Also it can be that pill for someone with a hangover haha.

Now you can ask me why the **** I ended such a beautiful compilation with P'Aof teaching Jimmy smoking like a pro. I also have a question: why rehearsing smoking in this clothing at night if everything was so sweet and Mhok is trying to quite smoking because of Day? Last time we've seen Mhok smoking was like... 4 episodes ago? And he didn't take that cigarette even being nervous about Day and August's date. What if something went wrong after such a wonderful scenery?..

Also I need to mention this:

So maybe after Phojai's words Mhok decided to tell Day something more?.. So many questions.

4. Turning point

They're gonna spoil us with another wholesome moment of Mhok giving Day something that makes Day shine brighter than the sun.

And then I've noticed something.

Same T-shirt. Brown hoodie from another part of this episode. Coincidence? I think this word isn't about P'Aof's style.

Yes, next episode we'll face heart wrenching scene of Day discovering he's gonna lose his vision completely. Maybe it will be the last part of the episode or even the end of it. That's why I was so afraid of writing this prediction, I just... I just don't want this scene to come, but it's already episode 6 and we have this information about 180 days after all... Huh, that's hard.

5. Bonus with Night

Do you remember this flashback scene where Day came home after discovering he's visually impaired now? Asking mom not to tell anyone what happened to him.

What we haven't seen yet is THIS:

Day thinks that Night is fooling him and everyone around. In Day's head Night is trying to take everything from his younger brother. Day's memory keeps that scene with mother, but without Night. It's time to have a look at Night's truth. Don't you think he looks extremely upset, worried, maybe feeling guilty? What happened before that car accident, Night? What did you do?

That's all for this episode. I know that there're a lot of small things like reading that "Last Twilight" book or another running training that should happen too. Let's enjoy it on Friday without thinking too much.

I also have some words for Day and Mhok developing feelings. It seems they're both not each other's type. I mean they both used to love others on their own terms.

Day likes to dress up, to look cool and it's really important for him that his crush is also looks good. Mhok don't like to be 24/7 with a person he likes and prefer showing his attraction by fixing different things. Already noticed? This time Day is developing feelings for someone he can barely see and moreover who can see Day in his worst - clumsy, dirty and even naked (okay, it's not the worst, but it's embarrassing as hell). This time Mhok fell for a person who he need to spend all his time with and he can't fix Day's eyes no matter how good technician he is.

It's hard to be in love as an adult. Sometimes it's not about love at first sight, not about same favorite songs, not about similar social status. It's a deep bonding with care and respect. And I want for Day and Mhok to be able to tell each other 'I love you' on daily basis without shame or hesitation, without fear❤️

Thank you sososo much for reading. I tried this investigation to be as short as possible, but it turned out we still have a lot of bread crumbs. Of course there's a chance I'm wrong and have crazy theories at 3 AM while writing the main part of this investigation. And what if I'm not? Friday is coming!

#last twilight the series #last twilight #jimmy jitaraphol #sea tawinan #jimmysea #mhokday #morkday

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thefirst3chapters · 21 days

Note

I love the work you’re doing with your blog, bringing back older posts and spreading the Literati love 🧡 And your meta posts are so insightful! Would love to hear how you got into the ship, if you feel like sharing 😊

Thank you so much, that is so kind!

I'm fairly new to Gilmore Girls in general and started casually watching a few years ago because my sister (also a Literati shipper) recommended it. I think the first episode I saw was "There's the Rub," and I was drawn in by the generational dynamics right away. It is tough for me to precisely remember first impressions in hindsight, but I didn't particularly care for Dean or Jess as love interests for Rory. My sister said maybe I'd like Logan, but I wasn't convinced on him either. Then Jess's Season 6 appearances endeared him to me a lot more, and he became my reluctant favorite of the three boyfriends. It is a huge testament to Rory's character that she didn't know what Jess would accomplish in the future, and she believed in him right away despite most of the people she trusted disliking him!

Last year is when I really got into shipping Literati. In the classic love triangle setup with a nice, dependable character and an adventurous, brooding character, I am typically inclined to sympathize with the former archetype, but the character arcs of Dean and Jess ultimately defy those categories in interesting ways. Rewatching made me notice more details about how much teenage Jess was struggling, and I really grew attached to him and his relationships with Luke and Rory. I lurked around the Gilmore Girls subreddit for a while and saw so much animosity toward Jess. Even though he's of course fictional, it was still frustrating to see all that directed at a kid who was dealing with a lot, and it made me even more protective of him.

Then I came across a few Literati-focused Tumblr blogs and saw the interest in themes/subtext/symbolism/character motivations and the amazing fan art and GIFs (like yours!) on here. Seeing multiple posts about other people not having a penchant for the subreddit discussions was quite validating. It was an "I've found my people!" revelation, and I've really enjoyed looking through blog archives. There's so many great older posts!

What compels me with Literati, far more than the debates over who was the "best" boyfriend (what does that even mean?), is how narratively rich their story is. It starts and ends with Jess looking at Rory through a window (if the frame around her picture on the mantle counts as a window). In the first and last episodes where they interact, they show each other something they've written because they were inspired by the other person. As this video lays out so artfully, they went through parallel challenges in their lives and helped each other find the strength to work through them (including by writing a book). Then there's all of the intriguing visual cues and emotional depth and period drama reminiscent scenes. Two bookish characters being portrayed in such a poetic way is so fascinating.

Ships that don't get a conventional happy ending are often captivating because there's so many questions to ask and alternative scenarios to imagine. There are a lot of tragic romance elements to Literati, and the angst is certainly not lacking, but the neat thing is that at the end of the official narrative, both characters are alive and on good terms with each other, and it's implied that maybe their story isn't over. The last words of dialogue they exchange mark a beginning of sorts (it's what this blog is named after). How many doomed romances end up with something that positive? I do like to think that Rory and Jess end up together for good after AYITL, but after everything that happened when they were younger, just the fact that they are friends as adults and are so encouraging of each other is a beautiful thing in its own right.

Thank you for the ask!

#thefirst3chapters asks

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bengiyo · 5 months

Text

Theory of Love Rewatch Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

Last time, we spent a great deal of time on the sides as Khai finally pushed Third too far. Khai learned that Third was in love with him, so he decided to drunkenly kiss Third while saying another girl's name, tell Third he didn't remember doing that, and then tell Third he was super serious about this woman. Third, having enough, joined a different group to work on a project and is distancing himself from Khai. Khai is sad about this and has gone to the beach to reflect on his feelings. Meanwhile, Bone and the professor know of their roles now, and she's asserted a professional boundary. Un and Two interacted but I don't care.

I think I like this senior. He let Khai be popular with a bunch of girls to see how shaken he was, and is connecting emotionally with Khai's dilemma.

Ep.07 Flipped

I do like that Khai is given interiority about his bisexual awakening, and he has to consider how his prior experience with women compares to any expectations he has of being with Third. I don't think Khai took his relationships with women very seriously from an emotional standpoint, so there's some layers to unpack here. He has much to lose with Third, and he's lost much already. He doesn't really get friends to lovers at this point because he damaged the friendship so much.

I like the choice to not give us Third's interior monologue for Khai attempting to make a move on him again. We've spent enough time with Third's confusion. I like him being a bit inaccessible to Khai now that we're following Khai.

I'm glad Bone is getting corrected quickly about this editing gig. I did not have interest in that being dragged out.

I'm kinda glad Third is auctioning off the films that sent him into his original spiral.

Oh, Khai, keeping the Flipped movie isn't going to fix this.

Yes, Two. I may not care about your romantic plotline, but you are correct to tell Khai to leave Third alone.

Can't you have another chance? TOO LATE, BITCH.

LOL, I love bros. You can't hang out with Third alone! Oh wait you'll do my work? Well I do like determination.

I'll give them the erection joke as Khai realizes that Third is beautiful.

Just Off characters and his little purses against the world.

I like Third being used to how horny Khai is that he doesn't even consider that he could be the source of it for once after three years.

I'm glad Two is being a hater and giving Khai shit. This is also bro behavior.

Khai's self awareness is still in development I see.

Gun really is just so gorgeous. Like goddamn.

Don't fold, Third. HOLD FAST!

Oh lord, I forgot Khai gets into a crash next episode.

I like how many people are rooting against Khai. It's what he deserves. I don't think people owe him seriousness when he's treated no one else seriously before this. I like watching him struggle to be taken seriously as he reckons with his own reputation, even if he still doesn't get it. It's funny how he thought he was making a point by deleting all those phone numbers when his lack of investment in any of them is the point. It's also interesting watching Third from the outside because he's actually rather aloof.

As always, this rewatch is sponsored by @lurkingshan with support from @waitmyturtles and @neuroticbookworm. Tagging @twig-tea by request.

#theory of love #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

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rudikawhy · 7 months

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Some thoughts about Season one of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

There might me minor spoilers.

Within one week, I have started and finished watching the first season of Agents of Shield for the first time. I started it thinking 'Why not? Just try it'. I didn't really like the plot in the beginning, but I still stayed and continued. Why? Because of the characters.

I loved Coulson in the Avengers and was really happy that this series would give us more Coulson content. Just two days before I started watching AoS, I've rewatched The Avengers with a couple of friends and was, for the first time really, absolutely - sad? I don't know, it doesn't seem like the right word - by Coulson's death. But I'm glad I've rewatched it once again before watching AoS and so learning what happend to him after Avengers.

When Skye was introduced in the very beginning of the first episode, I was kind of afraid of her? Idk, just the way she stared at the happenings and recording it, while I didn't have that much of a clue what was going on there, that I had the feeling that I was supposed to know whether or not she was on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s side - it made me kinda scared. That doesn't make really sense and looking back, I probably wouldn't feel that way anymore when I'd watch the first episode again, but still.

I honestly don't really remember what I've thought of Ward at first. He was some good-looking agent who was just there, I don't know. As the episodes went on, I started appreciating him more, which was unfortunately shattered by the fact that can't keep my hands off the internet when watching a series and so read some spoilers about Ward.

I'd feel bad if I didn't write anything about May but I'm afraid there isn't much to say. Just like Ward, she was there. And that's probably it. I say probably because it it possible that I have thought something else about her when she first appeared that I simply can't remember.

Last but not least, Fitzsimmons. I'll talk about them separately in a second but first: I've shipped them from the first episode on. And second: It took me quite some time (about three quarters of the first episode) to realise that Fitzsimmons are, in fact, two persons. And third: when they were first introduced, I really didn't realise that they were friends and that was just their style of talking to each other, I thought they were introduced by fighting with each other.

But now Jemma. Jemma. She is just so sweet, I really love her. Just like Ward, I don't really remember what I've thought of her at first, but with the crucial difference that I know that I have loved her from the very first second she appeared. I'm actually kind of sad I can't recall my first thoughts.

Same with Fitz. It doesn't feel like there was a first time I've seen him. And definitely not just a week ago. It feels like I've known him, known them all for wayyy longer than one week. Fitz isn't just sweet, he's also adorable. The way he acts, that he can be so different. Productive, emotional, jealous, angry, friendly, I just love him. Side note: Since english isn't my first language, I started the series in german, to get settled and used to the pace, and after about three (I think) episodes switched to english with english subtitles. Best decision. I can't believe I wouldn't have experienced Iain De Caestecker's scottish accent, including one of my favorite lines so far, that I have not only replayed many times in my head since I've first heard it, but also replayed the sentence WHEN I first heard it, which is ("When did you stop talking") "About three embarrassing sentences ago"

Buuuuut back to Fitzsimmons. As I said earlier, I tend to look up the series I'm watching on the internet, which causes spoilers. Well, I pretty much ask for them if I'm stupid enough to go on the internet. Anyway, by doing so, I learned that Fitzsimmons will be a thing later on, BUT I don't want to believe it just yet, because I also have read a lot of things that I don't understand yet. So I will sit and watch and learn about them and everyone and everything else while the show goes on.

One question (which is partly rhetoric because I have a feeling that it will be clearer to me when I've watched more seasons, but still): Why do Fitz and Simmons call each other by their last names? And why does Fitz sometimes use "Jemma" but Simmons never "Leo"? Maybe it's just me but it doesn't seem right that they use their last names, even though they're best friends.

To come back to what I've said in the beginning, that I didn't really like the plot in the beginning and kinda just stayed for the characters. It's true. But maybe I was just tired when watching the first four or so episodes or the plot just got better, but I'm glad I kept watching because the plot GOT better, and I still love all the characters (except Ward), maybe even more than in the beginning. No, definitely more than in the beginning. Mostly Skye. But also everyone else. But: Fitz and Simmons are and will always be my favorites and nothing, really nothing, can change that. (I hope I won't regret saying this later)

To everyone who read all the way through until now, thank you. I'm almost pretty sure nobody does cause it's really just me writing down some thoughts, I'll probably have forgotten by the time I reach the end of season two, let alone season seven.

#agents of shield #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.#season 1 #phil coulson #skye #grant ward #melinda may #jemma simmons #leo fitz #fitzsimmons #just some thoughts about season one #me rambling

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athousandbyeol · 1 year

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stray thoughts on forcebook's acting

honestly, i'm not an OG forcebook fan. i wasn't there from their enchante days. in fact, i started liking forcebook's acting three weeks after a boss and a babe aired. so, i don't know if i'm qualified to state my opinion (because i once posted this on my now-deactivated twitter, and the discourse wasn't pretty), but here goes nothing.

forcebook's commendable acting in a boss and a babe

so, after episode 9 of a boss and a babe, i now believe forcebook are capable of carrying heavy roles. they're dynamic actors, and now it's clear how many facades both gun and cher are wearing. even though i don't watch enchante, from the clips i saw here and there, they've improved tremendously. and kudos to them for their hard work.

gun gungawin, at the beginning of the series, is very stoic, strict and unfriendly. he shuts people down with his signature cold stare. he doesn't have a close friend. he's alone, and he prefers it that way. he overthinks but doesn't show. i personally think gun doesn't like skinship because it creates this bond, and he can't bear the thought of losing that someday (like how he lost thyme). yet, when he meets cher, his walls crumble. he becomes friendlier and happier. he doesn't care about what others think (contrary to how he was before cher). p'force portrayed him really well.

then comes the sunshine, cher saran, the bright and kind of idiotic intern (sorry, cher T_T). he's the mood maker. he's everyone's helper. very selfless because he has a gigantic heart. he ducks every conflict and traumatising emotion like a pro gamer. he cares so much about gun, but doesn't know how to show it with words. he's goofy and silly. and he keeps all the pain to himself. he hides them in the deepest part of his heart because he doesn't want anyone to know. he doesn't like talking about his struggles because that's who cher saran is. but you see the pain in his eyes when the light goes dark. and p'book's ability to distinguish the happy cher and sad cher so smoothly blows me away every single time.

episode 9 is a whiplash of pain, heartbreak, sadness, confusion, betrayal, loyalty, trust, disappointment, true love and sacrifice. i just want to say kudos to forcebook for bringing guncher to life. i shed so many litres of tears last night. i still will cry if i rewatch ep 9.

my bias towards p'aof's works

i'm a huge fan of p'aof (the director/screenwriter of he's coming to me, 1000 stars, bad buddy and moonlight chicken). i adore his works because of his precision in crafting the characters, choosing the most suitable bgms, his vision, the cinematography, the richness of symbolism and metaphor in his works, and his ability to bring out the best in his actors.

i'm beyond excited knowing my beloved jimmysea is now under p'aof's wings with another potentially heartbreaking series, last twilight, soon-to-be-aired this year (or early next year). i know p'aof will trigger all these emotions and potential in jimmysea, and i'm just ecstatic to see them nailing mork and day.

so, i posted this thought on twitter, and some didn't agree. i do understand that p'aof's works can be quite conventional and old school, but hear me out; even though it is, he's so good at it.

and it's funny how when i look at forcebook, i'm like— damn, p'aof really needs to give them a script. i've been manifesting a forcebook + p'aof collab ever since.

perhaps, i am biased. because i like p'aof's style, and i'm confident he has that freaking good script for forcebook somewhere in his stash (or his galaxy brain), and i hope god listens to my prayers. but as always, it's ok to disagree. this post doesn't intend to impose my thoughts on anyone.

so, yes. i just hope one day, forcebook will get a very good script to match their abilities, because god damn it, please don't waste their talents. i'll be furious.

and i hope only friends will be the beginning of forcebook's reign because these men know how to act, and they're nailing it.

#sorry for this word vomit #i have so much to say about forcebook but I better let this be the last #because as you can see; i'm not coherent #i'll never stop hoping one day p'aof will give them a script #that will be my happiest day on earth #these men deserve to have a good script to unleash their potential #good script + good directing and i swear forcebook will end all those potty mouths #force jiratchapong #book kasidet #forcebook #enchante #a boss and a babe #thai drama #thai bl #thai lakorn #random thoughts #(btw i apologise if anything i wrote in this post offended anyone)#na rambles

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