#I mean it's like 90% consensual but there's Context
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im free from yakuza kiwami 2. fuck the writing in this one. this was a complete mess of pulling from the most popular generic east asian drama tropes at the time of 2006 and having it be handled by a super inexperienced writer at the helm.
i went from having no expectations, got somewhat surprised, only to end up downing alcohol and laughing hysterically before the credits rolled. so that should set the mood for how i feel about this one. thought vomit under the cut, a lot of info dump about culture incoming
yakuza kiwami 2 is pure heterosexual east asian romance bullshit.
im gonna just. describe as best as i can what i know and remember from the general media coming out from the 90s to the 2010s in around this part of the world before i just start explaining why i think this story is a mess.
so. 2 parts i swear is responsible for this rubbish.
1) East Asian Beauty Standard
the general consensus for a beautiful feminine woman AT THE TIME in this sphere is the following
be willowy thin (fat = lazy and ugly)
have black hair that ISNT short (dyed = too much individuality, too much WESTERN INDIVIDUALISM, gasp how dare!)
fair skinned (bc dark = she works in the fields and is from a lower class)
young. if you heard of the term "Christmas Cake" in japan context, yeah. (ie women over age of 25 are undesirable)
be educated and refined, bc that indicates class and femininity (failing this means shes vulgar and gasp like a barbarian)
be submissive to her male peers in the sense that her authority cannot override his at least in public (for the sake of his face)
dresses feminine and not like a man (trousers and jeans are man-ish. traditional clothing, skirts and dresses are preferred. the further back the stronger this sentiment is.)
incidentally, theres a lot of classism tied to this EABS due to sinocentric culture influences. it has to do with the chinese court system and how korea and japan copied it and a lot of the culture wholesale but. anyway. thats like over 1000 years of history in there thats not really worth detouring to rn.
and also, the worth of a man is sometimes (not always) upheld by how classy and feminine this wife of his is. as of 2024 though, this line of thought is still around in the more conservative pockets. also, the education might not matter as much these days as how deep her and her parents' pockets and wealth are.
moving on.
2) media tropes
so. off the top of my head.
if you wanted a popular romance drama in this time period, the popular offerings no matter where you looked tended to offer the same flavors of tropes.
the woman always has dark hair, is fair skinned, thin and younger than her male love interest. ive never seen this broken or subverted in my time absorbing via osmosis the dramas playing on local tv growing up in the early 2000s.
everything else about her can be subverted though. sometimes she can wear fancy pants or have short hair to indicate her strong individualism. BUT, her personality no matter how strong it begins, no matter how her intro begins will 99% of the time encounter an effect where catching feelings turns her into a meek loyal woman to her love interest.
bc she cant override his authority in this culture context.
at worst, she becomes highly irrational and even hysterical in the dramas when bad things happen. this includes things like love triangle, or a fallout of family business, drama, plot or whatever. she would cry and sometimes even die.
see: sawamura yumi. sayama kaoru.
meanwhile, the male love interest can be anything. ive seen middle aged guys to young good looking upcoming actors playing the lead, with looks varying from haggardly okay to young and handsome. it. really depends on the genre.
depending on what specific country it came from, the drama would have the male either grow, become manlier (by learning honor ig), become stupid in the name of love, but he rarely if ever actually dies. the woman effectively becomes yoshi for mario to lauch off on when they're crossing a chasm
the romance is forced. a lot of the BIG LOVE SPARK ie kissing happens in tense moments bc it builds drama, but in reality comes too fucking close to sexual assault (some of the old jackie chan movies does this iirc for slapstick even)
see: sayama getting kissed right after handling her biological father's ashes less than 24 hours ago and admitting to kiryu that shes scared. this scene right fucking here.
bc in general, the scriptwriters for popular dramas tended to be guys themselves and tended to write more human dudes. and the women in the stories are reflective of the ideal societal expectation at the time: being a Refined Housewife.
so her character development is often headed in the direction of marriage and being a stay at home mom.
if it sounds a little like tradwife bullshit, it is.
Refined Housewife
(i have massive negative thoughts about this which i KNOW for a fact is a thing bc a lot of these societal culture femininity was impressed on me as a kid in a world where it was already getting increasingly impossible to have 1 spouse be a SAHP. and also i hated the whole thing about giving face to the patriarch of the house when i personally saw so much ego dick measuring from my uncles. anyway understand that this is both a bias an a lived experience, so proceed with that in mind)
there is a problem with the Refined Housewife expectation: education.
in general, education has been a good metric to judge how classy or smart one is in asia's largely on-the-surface meritocracy based culture. people will look at each other's school first and then judge them from there, and pretty hard too.
so everyone regardless of gender will be expected to study super hard. and bc having good test scores and going to good schools looks good for the family's face, parents will often pile on tuition to the child to get them a leg up in life.
bc also no good degree from good school means no future.
but then... the woman is expected to be a housewife. 🙃 meaning... the education, her accomplishments, are kinda... tossed away in this context. put a pin in this.
it wont matter how much she studied or accomplished, bc the expectation is that the woman would marry and obey her husband, and give him face/honor that way. the kids will come eventually bc having kids = being filial to ones parents in this context.
also uh. no, having adopted kids is not thought of as being filial. continuing the bloodline is.
and if you've been paying attention, then yes, ive been skirting around the backbone of sayama kaoru's writing foundations this entire time.
Her story has been butchered so clumsily i cant even...
lets just. ugh.
she fits the EABS standard, her tropes are trying to subvert the expectations of a womanly woman in this context, she has IMPRESSIVE education and career achievements. she works in a male dominated field, and is keenly aware of sexism. she is strong, stronger than her male peers, at least we are told.
by 2006s standards, its still considered a fresh take with those alone in japan. sexism there is its own flavor of crap. (if you noticed ive not spoken about LGBTQ+ stuff at all, its bc how ridiculously BINARY the expectation is at that point in time. it still is today but less so)
however, the writing has this sense of trying to copy the popular tropes at the time while not fully understanding and dissecting them, and ends up butchering sayama's character before the romance even properly began.
i mean, for fucks sake even, sayama and kiryu has a whopping 14 year age gap. when im told these are supposed to be believable people living in japan, this is too big for me to just go 'oh ok!'. and remember the Christmas Cake thing? shes 25. (FUCKING--!!!! !!)
the problem here that i see is the writer trying to apply all of those while trying to play the tropes straight. trying to imitate. trying to make a statement but then finding out theres nothing within yourself to stand by what you want to say and backtracking.
we are told:
sayama is strong yet she goes down with 1 slap by random thugs and needing kiryu to come in and body them. because romance ig.
we are told shes a yakuza hunter but she doesnt scare a single one beyond her introductory scene.
she goes from defiant and bossing kiryu around to getting her actions overridden by kiryu and ryuji, both men, towards the end
her subtext is that shes not feminine and therefore conventionally undesirable, but then kiryu tells her shes actually feminine and therefore desired, as if its all that matters.
she becomes so stricken by grief and freaked out that she runs off solo to deal with ryuji in the most out of left pocket planning ive ever fucking seen.
and then yells as she takes out her police baton to take down the big yakuza dude, drawing attention and turning herself into a hostage.
i know the writing will fumble but i didnt expect it to fumble this bad.
for all the good the surface chemistry kiryu and sayama has, its being undermined by a fundamental failure to understand tropes and then using said tropes as a crutch so much that everything here has become a bloody mess.
this failure of over-relying on tropes without understanding them extends to yumi too. sawamura yumi was young and beautiful, and became the Refined Housewife to the Not-Male-MC and ends up regretting it, and gets killed for it.
her defining trait is that she is beautiful in subtext. thats. thats what the tattoo is. in a world where the tattoo makeths the person, thats what she is and all that she is.
dear lord.
ive read up a bit more on sayama and you know what. good that she chooses her career over kiryu. the romance would have caused both of their characters to explode with the trajectory this was heading in. ffs sayama could have had her own game. she has so MUCH potential.
and also GOOD that the writer is forced to think of kiryu in the position of the Stay At Home Parent for haruka and the orphanage down the line!!! subverting the fucking traditional BS expectation! yes!!!!!
all i got was sayama and kiryu making out before the bomb went off in front of my alcohol and salad while they're like 'eh, haruka will forgive us for dying :')'
and i ran out of alcohol.
sexism? maybe. incompetence? definitely.
hhgrhgrhrghrghrgrhgr wow this got long. ugh. guhhhhhh.
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what's wrong and right — pjm
Your two bodies make one, you complete each other and if one piece is missing, nobody can continue to live normally. So when a fight shreds your couple apart, the worst happens and his true nature comes out.
♡⃛ Pairing: Jimin x Fem!Reader
♡⃛ Genre: established relationship, smut, angst
♡⃛ Word count: 10.7k
♡⃛ Warnings: 90% is smut :D, messy story that only makes sense to me but whatever bcs it's pwp, consensual non-consent, role-play such as kidnapping & pseudo incest, non-con to a certain extent, brief mention of eating disorders, jimin is the sweetest bf, ig he could be considered a yandere but I won't say he is because I don't want to, fluffy stuff, short break up that only exists to create make-up sex, jimin realizes things..., dom jimin/sub reader, unprotected sex, use of the word r*pe in an erotic context, sex tapes (this aspect was supposed to be explained but just go along with it for now), dd/lg, praising & light degradation, clit stimulation, oral (f & m), cum eating, unrealistic amount of cum *cough*.
A.N.: Check this before reading the fic, please. Kind reminder to be mature and avoid the content you don't like. 🫶🏻
Thank you my baby @trulythv for reading it first 👀 and for thirsting over this crazy man with me who I like to call the best bf ever🕺
Playing: Sometimes - Mattyeux & Princess Chelsea ,, Cent fois - Alice et Moi ,, Can't Help Myself - Alexandra Savior.
✧˖*°࿐
Looking at you through the rear mirror, Jimin smiles. You're so pretty. He really loves you, he loves his beautiful girlfriend. Your eyes are shut, long lashes gracing your under eyes. He can't see your lips, but it doesn't take away your beauty, no, you're so much prettier like that.
He looks back in front of him, pushing on the brake pedal with his foot as the car comes to a halt. He likes the spot he found; away from the city, far into the forest. He can be alone with you with no risk of someone falling upon the both of you.
He opens the driver's door and gets out of his truck, walking around it to come to your side. He pulls on the door's handle, revealing your little body lying down on the black leather seats. The corners of his lips are lifted up when he sees you and he grips your tied up ankles, bringing you closer to the edge of the seat.
He sits you up and you seem a little bit dizzy, but it's normal since you've just woken up from a quick nap. He then carefully removes the grey tape that is covering your mouth, making sure to not hurt you.
"Hi, baby," he whispers, smiling when you blink up and look at him. "How are you feeling?" He asks in a pouty voice, babying you, and it makes you feel safe, cared for.
"Tired..." You respond and your body feels sore. Jimin understands, this was a quite long car ride and laying down on the back seats doesn't seem really comfortable.
"Oh, sweetheart, I know. I'm sorry," he apologizes, taking you in his arms. He embraces you in a warm hug and you nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck, sniffing the pleasant odour of his cologne.
He lets you go and takes out his phone from his front pocket, unlocking it to access the camera app. He puts his phone down on the truck's floor, leaning it against the bottom of the seats, facing the exterior. He'll let the door open so the camera can capture everything that will happen outside.
He starts the recording, which means you have to be in characters. One arm under your knees and the other around your waist, he picks you up easily. You whine softly when your butt leaves the seat, watching where Jimin is bringing you.
There are trees and a lake ahead of you. He decides to put you down just in front of the first tree that is right in the angle of the camera. He kneels before you and grips your knees, pulling your legs apart. Your feet stay together since they are attached to each other.
He sees your white panties with flower patterns on them, your skirt lifted up over your plushy thighs. Jimin licks his lips, the sight of your core making him hungry.
"Please, don't..." You squeak when his fingers travel your inner thigh, almost reaching your clothed pussy. They're cold, adorned in chunky silver rings, veins pulsing along his strong arm.
He glances up at you as you beg for him to do something he doesn't intend to do at all. He smiles, still caressing your soft skin with his fingertips. He smirks, eyes glinting with malice in them.
"Jimin," you whisper his name, as if to reason him, to beg again for something he can't promise. "Don't hurt me."
His smile expands. "I would never," he whispers back, bending down to reduce the gap separating your two bodies. His lower half settles between your legs, he places his lips beside your ear. "Never hurt you," he affirms and when he backs away to look at your face, your eyes are filled in water.
He puts a palm over your cheek, caressing softly, swiping his thumb under your eye which causes a tear to fall down. He observes you for a minute, the singing of the birds and the quiet flow of the lake filling up the silence. You cry quietly, crumpling his white t-shirt between your fists. You need to have him against you, despite yourself.
He makes some space between him and your legs, griping you by the calves to lift them up. He takes his time to run his hands over your exposed skin, groping the meaty flesh of your thighs. He then focuses on your ankles and carefully unties the knot that attaches them together.
He gets rid of the rope, throwing it away on the ground. Free from any restrain, Jimin can part your legs wider, spread them how he likes it. Bend in half, that's how he prefers because he has your beautiful cunt on full display for him to play with.
He pushes your thighs over to your chest and normally you would hold them up, but you can't right now, so Jimin does it for you. Hands behind your knees, legs in the air, he places his clothed bulge against your pulsing core. You shudder, so close to him, yet so far to be connected with him.
"So perfect for me, just the right size..." He praises, looking down between your legs where he rubs his crotch against yours. "You were made for me, this is how it should be," he blathers, his voice a little husky, a little desperate. "Just me and you, baby." He says, the only thing he can really promise.
He slides his hand down your thigh, feeling all the goosebumps that travel your skin. Your stomach twists and your mouth hangs open, watching Jimin play with you. Shaking the toy in front of your eyes to lure you in the game.
You gasp when he suddenly hooks his fingers under the band of your panties and roughly strips you off of them. But he leaves them around your ankles, the flimsy material hanging around them. He keeps a hand under your thighs to hold them up, pushing them over your stomach so your pussy can be accessible to him.
He licks his lips before touching your clit with his middle finger, making you flinch, his cold skin contrasting with your own that is burning hot. He passes his digit through your folds, feeling how wet you are already. His cock hardens in his pants and he can't wait to free himself to fuck you senseless on the ground, in the middle of the woods, a camera filming your entire intercourse.
He brings some of your arousal to your clit, making this more pleasurable for you. He pinches your bud of nerves between his thumb and index finger, pulling on it gently and toying with it. You squirm around and whine, which annoys Jimin.
"Behave," he scolds and sends you a hard glare. He pinches it harshly and you try not to move a muscle, but it's complicated with your clit trapped between his fingers.
You sob, throwing your arms over your head, gripping the grass to refrain yourself from reacting to his touch on your private parts. He plays with your sensitive bud a bit more, occasionally sliding a skillful finger through your slicks.
Finally, Jimin presses a finger on your clit and moves his digit from side to side to stimulate it. He moves it quickly, eliciting soft moans from you. He's concentrating on his task as he looks at your pussy intently, seeing how much wetter you are now.
"Ah! Minnie, stop it!" You cry out, pulling on the grass, keeping your legs up even if you yell for him to stop. He won't and you know it.
"Shh, pretty baby. It's okay," he reassures you, but the tingles he creates in your body are so strong, you can't ignore them. You tremble underneath him, arching your back as you roll your eyes. The pleasure of sex and the lust it brings you will always be stronger than you.
Jimin is very pleased, licking his lips obscenely, watching you fall apart just from a simple flick of his finger on your poor little clit. And then your orgasm shoots through you, making you moan and juts your hips upwards.
"That's it, sweetheart, just let it go..." He encourages you with sweet words and you feel dizzy, much more than before when Jimin picked you up in his arms. "Such a good girl," he purrs, caressing your thighs to soothe you while you get down from your high, pussy clenching around nothing.
He takes off your panties from around your ankles, stuffing them in his back pocket to not get them dirty. Your legs fall down on the ground, shaking slightly, recovering from your clitoral orgasm. You whine softly and fight to keep your eyes open, perceiving Jimin reaching for his zipper.
The sound makes you shiver, heart beating incredibly fast and mind fuzzy, filled with white clouds. You pull on your wrists, a strong desire of touching him, of touching your lover going through you, but you can't, unfortunately.
"I'm going to fuck you, m'kay, baby?" He announces while looking down at his crotch, lowering his pants down his thighs. He palms his bulge before lifting his gaze up to you. "Be a good girl for me," he orders, and finally frees his cock out of his briefs.
You've seen it so many times before, yet this moment still makes you flustered. Jimin is really imposing and this isn't to displease you at all. He strokes himself a couple of times, spreading his pre-cum over his length and looking at you with so much desire it makes you shudder with all your being.
He aligns his cock with your entrance, swiping his tip through your wet folds, mixing his pre-cum with your natural arousal. You let a moan out of your mouth and open your legs wider for him. He growls at that, gripping your plushy thigh and sinking his nails into your skin. He leaves small crescent forms all over your flesh, a sign of his passing on you, a sign of property.
"This had to happen, sweetheart..." He tells you while he pushes in slowly, your pussy expanding as he forcefully enters you. You gasp, blinking to let the tears fall from your eyes down to your cheeks. "I'd like to say that I'm sorry, but- fuck," he curses when he's all the way in, your walls contracting around him. "I'm really not."
Your stomach tightens at that, body reacting to his words despite your will not to. He stays still, thighs trembling a little bit from the pleasure. He looks like he's in total bliss, blond strands of hair dangling in front of his sweet eyes, pupils fully dilated.
He locks your legs behind his back and you whine, the movement making him penetrate you deeper until his balls touch your ass. He whimpers and holds you against him, never letting you go even if you don't want to.
He leaves his mouth open so it's easier to breathe and he frowns, creating a crease between his soft brows. The first thrust makes him curse under his breath and you cry out quietly, keeping your eyes locked with his. He collides his hips against yours with force, your boobs bouncing on your chest from the harsh stroke.
He starts fucking you, entering and exiting your hole at a regular pace. "Ah, shit," he hisses, gripping your hips harder. "Your pussy feels so good, baby," he compliments, completely thrown away by the pleasure.
"Minnie," you cry, reaching for his t-shirt and pulling on it to have him against you. He groans at your neediness, mind clouded with you only. He sticks his chest to yours, feeling your perky nipples against him.
He takes a hold of your jaw, boring his eyes into yours while he pounds his dick in your pussy until both of your skin turn sore and hurt. He touches your neck with his lips, then leaves wet and warm kisses all over your face. Finally, he connects his plump lips with yours, stealing your breath away and muffling your moans.
You whine into the feverish kiss you're sharing with Jimin, feeling so overwhelmed by his hip thrusts. Unfortunately, he has to break the kiss, but he stays over you, breathing onto your face. His hand shifts to your neck, slowly enclosing your throat with his fingers. The cool feeling of his rings makes more goosebumps appear on your skin.
"Mmh... you like this, don't you?" He questions and you blink up at him, whining as a response. "I know you would, baby," he growls back, pecking your jaw and the side of your neck. "Know you'd like me to rape this pretty pussy..." He mewls into your ear and another wave of heat travels your body.
Your tears make your vision fuzzy and you decipher Jimin's face with difficulty, but you sense his presence really clearly, him using you as a way to release himself and his build-up frustration. You scrunch his t-shirt between your fists, knowing that this is your boyfriend and that you desire him as much as he desires you.
"Y-Yes, Minnie, I like it," you breathe out and he feels your throat vibrate under his palm. You whine when he gives you a particularly hard thrust that goes deeply into your guts, his cock reaching your sweet spot that makes you see stars.
He starts to get rougher, reaching for his high rather than enjoying as long as he can the feeling of your walls clenching around him. He likes the current situation, you tied up under him and creaming his cock, but you can't stay here much longer.
"Shit, baby," he curses and he bites down on his lip, tilting his head down to look where your two bodies connect. He lifts your skirt over your belly, revealing your pretty cunt to him. "So good for me, so helpless and dumb..." Seeing his dick pounding into your messy pussy makes his cock twitch into you, encouraging him to go even harder, literally destroying you from the inside.
He pins your wrists over your head again and his hand on your neck changes places, fumbling your breast in his palm. Your eyes roll back into your skull and you arch your back, the air becoming constricted, Jimin's own breath fanning across your face and yours hitting his cheek.
Your face feels hot, your breath is heavy and every touch is overwhelming, sending you into a wave of pleasure. His cock sliding in your pussy and brushing against your walls turn you brainless, to a point where you can't form any intelligent thoughts other than ones about Jimin. Your mind is filled with him as well as your cunt, him, the only thing you want.
You moan as the knot in your stomach tightens and he growls as he feels your pussy sucking in him. "I love you, Jimin, please..." You cry in pleasure, words of affection the only thing you can think of right now. "Love you," you repeat quietly and he forces himself to look back at you, seeing the beautiful pearls falling over your cheekbones, sliding down the side of your face.
His heart melts, soft eyes meeting yours and he smiles sweetly at you. No matter how much he wants to destroy your little body and mark it as his, showing to everybody that you're his property, your desperation will always make him weak.
"I love you too, sweetheart," he says back, not hesitating to show you his love. "I love my pretty baby so much." He kisses your neck, trailing his plushy lips over your shivering skin, leaving feathery kisses all over you. He hides his face in the crook of your neck while he drives his dick into you, leading the both of you closer to orgasm.
He likes control, but he likes even more the fact that you love giving it to him because you trust Jimin, your boyfriend. This is how it goes, how it's supposed to be. You submitting to him, agreeing to leave all of your problems behind to be taken care of by him. This is how you want it, how you need it.
"Together, please," you request and you feel him smiling against your neck, butterflies erupting in your belly. "Minnie," you insist and his hips go slower.
He raises his head and hovers above you. "My pretty baby wants to cum with me?" He teases and you nod repeatedly, pouting. "That's what you want, yeah?" He tilts his head to the side, eyes glinting mischievously, but also lovingly. He can't help finding your neediness cute and attractive, especially when he's supposed to take advantage of you.
"Yes, wanna cum with you, please, Jimin..." You whine, but you know he'll do what you're asking him for.
"Of course, baby," he agrees, even though he had no intention in refusing you. "Of course..." He says again in a whisper, sneaking his hand between your bodies, reaching your engorged and pulsating clit.
You gasp when his rough digit finds your sensitive bud of nerves, immediately moving it from side to side. He regains his pace rapidly, playing with your puffy clit while he fucks his cock into you to get himself off as well. You moan softly, his favourite sound at this point, and tightens your thighs around his waist.
Since you're very aroused, your orgasm is really near and it doesn't take much that you already feel it coming at full speed. You clench around him and buck your hips upwards, everything becoming messier and louder.
The sound of his balls slapping against your ass accompanies your whines and his grunts, forgetting the sole purpose of your intercourse; playing for the camera. But it's not much of a matter anymore when all you can think about is his girth drilling into your hole like you're nothing but a sexual object for him to use.
Jimin doesn't think about it either, fucking you in the forest like it's a recurrent occasion. Playing with the illusion of taking something he's not allowed to, doing an act completely selfish, yet you're letting him to, so how wrong is it?
"Close... I'm close," you warn Jimin, squirming under him because the stimulation is too strong, you can't stay in place. You pull on your wrists, frustrated you can't hold onto him.
He feels his balls tightening and he's close too. "Me too, baby, fu-uck," he responds, toying with your clitoris, moving his finger as fast as he can so you can have your orgasms at the same time. "Ready to cum for me? Hm?"
You hum in affirmation, nodding your head along. He nuzzles your neck again, kissing your flesh lovingly as you hear his moans against your ear. The last strand holding you back finally breaks and you cum, shaking like a leaf under him. You cry out his name, helplessly trying to hold onto something, only finding the grass to grip on.
It's then that Jimin quickly follows you, thighs trembling as he ejaculates deep into your cunt. His cock twitches a couple of times, painting your walls white in his seeds. "Fuck, baby," he groans, his hot breath hitting the side of your face.
Little droplets fall from his tip when he pulls out and he strokes himself briefly to milk his cock dry. You feel his hot cum dripping down from your pussy as you still clench repeatedly from your previous orgasm, pulse beating really fast.
Jimin watches his cum falling out of you and he picks it up by sliding his mushroom head through your folds, collecting the white substance on it. He pushes his head back in slightly, making you whimper in overstimulation.
He straddles your body and settles over your chest, his cock hovering over your face. You open your mouth and lick the remains off his pretty penis, slowly softening in his hand. He pats your hair appreciatively, smiling as you're doing a good job at cleaning the mess he made.
"Good girl... Such a good, pretty girl," he praises and you bat your eyelashes at him innocently. He glances toward the truck where his phone is still recording then back at you. "What about we head home now, hm? You deserve to relax, you must be really tired."
He gets off of you, zipping himself back up before untying your hands and helping you stand up on your wobbly legs. He kisses you on the lips and replaces your hair in place, even though it stays a mess.
"Yes, good idea."
✧˖*°࿐
Jimin has been your boyfriend for three months now and you sometimes still can't believe it. You've never been in a serious relationship before and you hope this one will last very long because you love him a lot.
He's really kind with you, always so understanding and just the perfect boyfriend you could've ever had. You're not afraid to be yourself with him and it's something you didn't allow yourself to be before him.
But since you're together, you really think this is a new you. A girl more confident in herself as well as happier and healthier. A relationship can do so much good to someone and you think this is what it's doing to you; a lot of good. And it's refreshing to be able to love a person so openly and they love you in return.
You've had sex a few times already, and right now it's about to happen again. You're really bothered by something, though and you can't get it out of your head. You want to share it with Jimin, but you're afraid of how he may react.
You trust him, so you decide to tell him.
"Minnie, wait..." You softly interrupt him, pushing on his shoulders. He stops his kisses and looks at you, wondering if he did something wrong. Of course, he didn't, as always.
You sit up on your bed so he pushes himself off of you, sitting in front of you. "Is everything alright, baby? Did I hurt you?" He asks and you laugh because he could have never hurt you, he's always so soft and gentle as if you're a vase he's scared to break.
"No, no, everything's fine, I just..." You look down at your lap, playing with your fingers nervously. "I just want to tell you- well, ask you something," you announce, not hesitating more if you really want to tell him what you have had on your mind for a pretty long time.
He pulls you by your legs and you gasp, not expecting him to bring you closer. He passes your legs over his lap, making you sit both side by side on the bed. You smile shyly, still avoiding his intense gaze.
"Tell me, I want to hear everything you have to say," he encourages you and it makes you feel better about yourself. Jimin won't judge you, he couldn't anyway if he wanted to. In his eyes, you can do nothing wrong.
"Okay, well, it's about... sex," you confess and hearing the word from your mouth makes him smile. He never looks away from you, seeing your eyebrows frown as you're thinking about your next words.
"Yeah? Anything that might interest me?" He says teasingly, placing an arm around your waist, gently caressing your body.
"It interests me, but you, I don't know. That's why I want to ask you," you explain and finally glance up at him, locking eyes with him.
"I see," he hums. "Then tell me, sweetheart. I'm sure I'll be into it." He winks at you and you roll your eyes, even though you crack a smile.
"So, umm, I really like it when you... dominate me," you say quietly, a little ashamed, but still confident enough to tell him everything. You don't express your sexual desires often, so it feels uncomfortable, but you trust Jimin with your whole heart. "You already know it, but it's just that I'd like you to control me... more."
A small crease appears between Jimin's eyebrows. "More? You want me to be rough?" He strokes your arm, showing you that you really can tell him everything. He's here to listen to you.
You shake your head, looking to the side again. "No, even though I wouldn't mind, but I like it when you're gentle," you answer. "What I mean is... I want you to... to rape me," you mumble the three last words, feeling your face heat up in embarrassment.
He raises up his eyebrows at your confession, totally surprised, but not at all repulsed or disgusted. He never thought about it before, never thought it could be your thing.
"It wouldn't be really that since it's what I want! But... I just like the idea of it," you quickly explain, seeing how taken back he looks by what you fantasize about. "I know it sounds... weird. I'll understand if it's not-"
He cuts you off, immediately reassuring you. "No, no, baby... Don't say that." He strokes your hair delicately, not wanting you to talk bad about yourself. "If you want it, I want it," he says and your eyes widen, sparkling.
"Really? Because you don't have to, you know," you worry again, but Jimin doesn't want to hear it.
"Shh, I'll do anything my pretty baby wants," he promises and your stomach flutters.
He removes your legs from his lap and gets on top of you, resuming what you've stopped earlier. He kisses you and slowly brings his plushy lips lower on your face, pecking your jaw then the side of your neck. You're rapidly overwhelmed by his touch, finding it hard to breathe and to even think.
"Want me to stretch this cunt out, baby?" He questions between kisses, his hands already lowering your jeans over your thighs and bringing your panties with them. "Ruin it so you're completely useless to anyone else beside me..." He sings against your ear and you completely love it.
You pass your arms around his shoulders, smelling his soft odour that always reassures you. He doesn't bother to prepare you, which makes your stomach twist, a new sentiment taking over you. He reaches his belt, unzipping and unbuttoning his pants to free his cock out.
"Gonna take good care of you, sweetheart." His dick slaps against his stomach when it springs out of his boxers and you whine, breath caught in your throat. "Need me to rape you so you know you're mine," he says and you shudder at his vulgar words.
How can he be so sweet and so willing to pretend to be taking advantage of you, you don't know, but that's exactly what you wanted.
You really, really love Jimin.
✧˖*°࿐
He hears soft and quiet moans coming out of the bedroom, which caught his attention. He's satisfied to notice the door half open, a small crack letting him see what's happening inside. Camera in hand, Jimin walks up to the bedroom's door and brings the recording device up to his face.
He pushes the door slightly enough so the camera can capture the inside of the room. He smirks when he discovers you humping your teddy bear, moving your hips frantically against the plushie. You rub your pussy on it, panties drenched in your wetness.
You don't realize that Jimin is entering the bedroom, looking at you on the camera's screen. You gasp in surprise when you see him in front of you, the lens pointing at you. You blink up and bite down on your lip, continuing to hump the poor teddy bear.
Since you're settled down close to the edge of the bed, Jimin takes a hold of your face, angling it correctly so it faces the camcorder. "What are you doing, princess?" He asks, keeping your head still and watching you rut your hips against the plushie between your thighs.
"Aah, daddy, I'm- I'm..." You let out a breathy moan, too lost in your ecstasy to give him a proper response. "Can't stop," you say as he passes his thumb over your bottom lip and you gently close your mouth around it.
Another moan makes you part your lips, opening your mouth so your little noises can escape it, to Jimin's pleasure. It makes you look dumb, his thumb pressing down on your tongue, drool coating it and falling from the corner of your mouth.
"Can't stop rubbing your little cunnie on teddy?" You shake your head from side to side, eyes locked with his, but he soon lingers his gaze down on your form, watching closely the way you hump the stuffed toy. "Mmh, what a dirty girl you are, baby... Pleasuring yourself in front of daddy."
He takes his digit out of your mouth and traces your cheek with it, spreading your own spit on your face. You whine louder as you rock your hips faster, breath heavy and heart beating excitedly inside your rib cage.
"It feels good, doesn't it? Your panties are all soaked," he growls, placing his palm over your throat. He senses you gulping before answering, parting your lips to talk, but an obscene moan is heard instead. "What's gotten you so wet, baby?" Jimin questions, grinning as you look totally braindead.
"Was thinking about daddy," you babble out, clenching your thighs around the teddy bear.
You seem even more stupid through the camera and Jimin licks his lips as he looks at the screen, veins apparent on his arm that is choking you. His cock twitches in his pants, feeling a little bit too restrained in them.
"Yeah? My baby girl was thinking about me? What were those thoughts about..." He asks while he zooms in on your face, then lowers down to your crotch. You don't wear anything except for your flimsy pair of underwear, completely soiled in your juices.
He records how your pussy rubs against the face of the stuffed bear, your small hands holding the plushie in place between your thighs.
"Just- just daddy's... pretty cock and body," you giggle, your mind going wild as you remember the scenery you were imagining before he entered. Jimin's eyes snap up to you when you say those filthy words, pupils dilated and gaze darkening. "Cum all over my face... Fucking me over and over again," you smile, trying to look innocent, but it doesn't work at all.
"You dirty, dirty girl..." He tells you and gives you a carnivorous smile, letting you know that he isn't going to treat you as an innocent little girl like you pretend to be. "Is that what you want? You want your step daddy to fuck your little hole? Your ass, maybe?" He talks to you behind the camera, only emphasizing how dominant he is and how submissive you are. "You're so fucking gross."
You pout at that, slowing the pace of your hips. "No, no, I'm not!" You whine, fake crying. Jimin focuses the camera on you again, filming you completely ravaged in your own lust. "I can't help it, I love daddy too much... He makes me feel real...ly good," you tremble and have more difficulty speaking, the tingles in your tummy getting stronger.
He can never resist you when you express your feelings like that. So cute and stupid, he's the only one who can take care of you. The only one who will never abuse you, never, unless you ask for it.
"Awh, baby," he coos, letting go of your neck to pat your hair delicately. "I love you, too." He strokes your cheek, making you purr and bat your eyelashes at him. "Very, very much..." He emphasizes, fire erupting in your belly. "Wanna show to daddy how much you love him?"
At that, your eyes widen and you excitedly nod your head. Then, reluctantly, Jimin grips the teddy bear and removes it from between your legs. He throws it to the side and reaches for his fly. He undoes the button and tucks his zipper down swiftly, you looking at his crotch intently.
He angles the camcorder down and you interrupt him in his actions, avidly lowering his pants as well as his boxers down his thighs. His cock almost slaps you in the face when it bounces up and you can't hold in your little giggles. You look at it as if it's one of the wonders of the world, the greatest prize you've ever obtained.
Jimin takes his dick in his hand, giving it one stroke before hitting your lips with the tip. You let yourself be toyed with, enjoying it a lot, and you open your mouth to stick your tongue out. He uses the opportunity you offer him to slap his dick against your wet, pink muscle.
"Hmm, you shouldn't have teased daddy like that, princess," he states, thrusting in your mouth, but only putting the tip in, teasing you in return. "Make me wanna do nasty things to you... worse than anything you could ever imagine," he says in a low voice, trapping his bottom lip between his teeth.
You stay still, blinking up at Jimin who's totally dominating you right now. He controls you and the camera at the same time, turning you into a complete mess, into a stupid girl who can't think for herself with a cock in her mouth.
Your purse your lips and he taps the head against your lips. He tilts his head slightly to the side, as if he's analyzing you, watching you curiously as you lick his cock with adoration. You let out little moans, making you look more submissive and making Jimin more aroused.
"Open your mouth," he orders and you execute yourself immediately. He doesn't wait to enter your mouth, it expands to the size of his girth as he pushes his cock in. He takes a handful of your hair, gripping on it tighter as he thrusts gradually in.
Your eyes start to water since he takes his time to penetrate your mouth, going in painfully slow, grunting as he does so. You focus on your gag reflex, keeping your tongue flat underneath him. You hollow your cheeks and he finally reaches the bottom of your throat, tip hitting the back of it.
You look at him and he looks at you. You wait for him to start fucking your throat, but he pulls out at once, holding your head by your hair. You breathe out through your mouth, swallowing to soothe your sore throat. It stings, but you manage to regain a normal breath.
"You take my cock so well," he praises and his grip on your hair loosens, giving a break to your scalp. "You really do love me, huh?"
You nod right away, wiping the drool that fell from your mouth off your chin with your hand. Jimin smiles at that, giving you small taps on your cheek, indicating that you'll change positions.
To your surprise, he hands you the camera. "There." You take it from him, holding it with your two hands. "Lay down and make some space for me, m'kay, baby? Daddy will give you what you want," he commands and you move back, laying your back against the mattress like he told you to.
You keep the camcorder up with your shaky hands, trying to adjust it so the image is clear. You get distracted by Jimin who crawls to you, settling himself between your legs. He flashes you a smile before undressing you from your soiled panties, throwing them on the bedroom's floor. You film him as best as you can with trembling hands and arms.
You gasp when his head finds a spot just over your pussy, feeling his hot breath on your private parts. "Dad-daddy," you breathe out shakily, having him so close to your cunt arouses you so much. "Are you going to... to eat my ... cunnie?" You question shyly, but you're very excited. You already feel yourself clenching around nothing.
He passes his arms around your thighs, legs over his shoulders. "Is that what you want, baby girl? Want me to suck on your little clit?" He asks, knowing pertinently that's what you're waiting for.
"Yes, please," you mewl, arching your back when you feel his mouth on you. You try to record him, but it's really difficult with Jimin's tongue on your cunt. You wonder how he does it because you can't stop squirming around. "Aaah, Jimin..." You moan his name almost instantly, the tingles he sends through your body are just so good.
His lips are wrapped around your bud of nerves and he sucks it fervently, eliciting sweet moans and whines from you. You keep the camera on him, watching him lick and munch on your pussy through the screen, absolutely loving the view of Jimin's mouth on your bare pussy.
"Daddy, it feels so good, I won't- I..." Your next words are never said as he plunges two fingers in your hole, scissoring your insides. He keeps sucking your clit and it turns you delirious, unable to think straight.
Jimin stops sucking, but he still pumps his fingers into you, curling them so he can pat your sweet spot. "Baby, stop moving so much, the recording's going to be impossible to watch after," he softly warns you, pulling your arms back up a little so it can capture him eating you out. "I know you like daddy's mouth on your cunnie, but you have to focus."
"Sorry, Minnie," you cry out because it's so hard to concentrate on something other than Jimin. "But I'm really close," you say, feeling the fire at the pit of your stomach growing.
"I don't want to hear any excuses," he scolds, circling your clit with his thumb while he's talking to you. "Be a good girl for me, okay, princess?" He stares at you and raises up his eyebrows to emphasize his words. You know better than to disobey him anyway.
You nod and a little pout appears on your lips, trying to control yourself. "Yes, daddy," you accept and he's back at licking your sensitive bud until you're just a brainless girl under him.
You moan as he fingers your pussy, your wetness dripping down to your ass. His fingers are so coated in your arousal that he can thrust them in without any restrain, sliding in smoothly while he presses his tongue down on your clit, moving it from side to side rapidly.
Jimin always knows what to do and his techniques are the best, making you cum quicker than when you masturbate. You do your best to film him, framing his blond head of hair buried between your plushy thighs. You can't help but moan at the sight, gripping his hair between your fist.
Your other hand shakily records the action and you can hear your sweet moans coming from behind the camera. "Minnie, I'm cumming!" You announce out loud, literally suffocating him between your thighs by tightening them around his head.
Your orgasm passes through you intensively, making you buck your hips in his face. He keeps his tongue on you, flicking it over your clitoris to help you go through your high. You pull on strands of hair, making him groan and you feel the vibration of his voice on your cunt.
He spreads your legs apart so he can escape them, even though he could've stayed between them all day. "Good girl, baby, such a good girl," he purrs, stroking your thighs to help you calm down a little bit.
You have no energy left, but you know that he's not finished with you. He kneels and you can see just how hard his cock is, it looks really painful.
You forget the camera and just let it fall on the bed, hypnotized by Jimin. "Daddy," you call him hastily, extending your arms toward him to reach him. You embrace him and he circles your little body with his strong arms, rubbing your face on his chest.
"Princess, it's okay, everything's fine," he comforts you, kissing your hair lovingly. He pulls you off of him and delicately lays you back down on the bed. "I'm here, I'm not going away." He kisses your cheek next before reaching for the camera again.
He sets it on the nightstand by the bed, turning it around so it captures the both of you. He removes his shirt by tugging on the collar, your heart beating faster at the sight of his beautiful chest.
"Can you turn around for me, baby girl?" You whine, disappointed that you won't be able to look at him longer. You turn round nonetheless, stomach against the mattress. "Good girl," he approves of your obedience.
You feel his hand caressing your back, going up to your shoulders then down to your ass. He gropes one cheek, palming it and kneading it in his veiny hand. You mewl, looking behind your shoulder to watch him play with you.
"Do you want more, hm?" He wonders as he explores your naked skin, touching it and groping your flesh in a tight grip. "Do I need to give you more so you stop thinking about daddy in such a filthy way?"
You moan when he spanks your ass, just the right intensity to feel your skin burn deliciously. You want to say that it'd take way more than that and no matter how hard he fucks you, you'll never stop thinking about him. You'd say the truth, but you understand that in these situations, nothing resembles reality.
"Yes, daddy, punish me for it..." You beg him, twisting the bedsheets between your fists. You don't have to ask him twice.
He groans and leans over you, his lips right beside your ear. "You fucking slut," he whispers, making you shudder intensively. "You don't even realize what you're asking for." He's being mean, but it only adds on to the pleasure. He knows what he's doing.
Jimin slowly penetrates you, settling himself in the comfort of your warm pussy. You whine out loud, enduring a painful but sweet stretch of your cunt by his fat cock. His hands are beside your shoulders, finally bottoming out until his hips are flushed against your ass. He lets out a moan, a long and aching one.
"Fuck, your tight little pussy feels so good, baby," he moans in your ear, shivers running on your skin as his cock fills you up entirely. "So perfect for daddy, princess... You were made for me," he affirms, completely honest. He believes it firmly and the way your cunt sucks him in just proves it.
"Was made for you..." You mumble out, repeating his words, agreeing with him because he's always right. He starts hard and has clearly no intention to go slower anytime soon.
You're getting fucked mercilessly right away and there's no way you can persuade him to go easy on you. That's not what you want anyway. You want him to destroy you, use you like you're worth nothing more than a sex toy.
Destroying is a strong word, but you like to think about it that way. If Jimin decides to ruin you, he'd be able to repair you after because deep down, you know he loves you and you love him. There's nothing love can't fix and just for that reason, you'd let him break you over and over again until you have nothing left but him.
He thrusts into you with a regular and intense pace, reaching deep each time his pelvis meets your butt. His own pleasure is intoxicating, making his hips stutter as his self-control is becoming less and less reliable.
He grips your throat from below, levelling your head up from the bed and forcing you to arch your back. "How does it feel, baby?" He murmurs beside your ear, his voice low and raspy, making you roll your eyes back into your skull. "Mmh? How does it feel to have your pretty cunt split in half by daddy?" He growls, sinking his nails into the skin of your neck.
Tears fall down from your eyes at how intense everything feels, Jimin taking your breath away just by pounding his dick into your pussy as if he has never hated someone more than you. It's ironic how you desire him to do that to you while asking him to love you as much as you love him. But he does and that's why you'll never find someone else like him because nobody could do the things he does for you.
"Amazing, daddy, it feels- it... it feels-" you gasp when you recognize the familiar tingle in your belly, the tingle that lets you know you're very close to cum around Jimin's dick. "So, so good..." You continue, breathless.
"Yeah, you like that? Fuck," he curses under his breath. "I like it too, princess," he admits, leaving a sweet and wet kiss on your cheek, collecting a tear of yours on his lips by the same occasion.
Your sweet spot is being martyrized by his cock, pussy pulsating around his length and you start shaking under him. "Gonna cum, Minnie," you quickly say and it makes him groan against your ear even louder.
He lets go of your throat, but only to shove you against the mattress. He keeps a hand on your head so you can't move it, obligated to face the camera that you forgot about. "Then do it, baby," he tells you almost too sweetly, still driving his dick into you. "Show me again how much you love me."
It's as if his words have an immediate response on you because soon after you cream his cock with your cum, clenching around him repeatedly until his movements are altered by it.
"Fuck, yes, baby, just like that..." He moans and his cock twitches inside of you, indicating that he'll cum, too. At this point, you firmly believe that you're both connected because you don't have to ask anymore, he'll orgasm at the same time as you.
With a last groan, he shoots his cum so deep into you you think for a moment that you'll become pregnant with his child even if you're on a contraceptive. You stay under him totally unable to move, too tired to even speak, only whines coming out of you as he empties himself inside your messy cunt.
"Shit," he breathes out, gasping for air. Strands of blond hair are sticking to his forehead and he licks his lips, moisturizing them.
He reaches for the camcorder and closes the screen, stopping the recording.
✧˖*°࿐
You have no idea how it ended up like this, but it did and it hurts. It hurts badly. Something happened, but it was so fast and unpredictable, nobody knew how to react. The inevitable has happened and you can't go back into the past.
It's one of those situations where you constantly ask yourself why did you do that, why didn't you do this instead of that. Just why. Why you and not someone else.
There's nothing more cruel and painful than to ruminate about the past. Nothing more hurtful than regrets because you can do nothing about them.
Why did you both hurt each other? The simple thought of being away from you makes him suffer, so why? It's self-hatred at this point, he thinks, but why would he hurt himself if it means hurting you, too. So many questions and yet, nobody dares to talk to the other.
Who will break first? Who will be the last to give up?
Both? Neither? You or him?
How bad can it be to stay away from the love of your life, from the only person that will ever satisfy you, to ever worship you. It can be really bad, in fact, it can even turn into a nightmare. Or it can be totally good, it depends on how you see it.
A wild fire will burn an entire forest, but it gives birth to a new fertile land after.
What's wrong and right, then? You don't know and it must be why this relationship is so important to you. There's no wrong and right. There's a middle and you'll always stand between because that's how it works the best.
You walk along the hallway, eyeing his apartment door as you approach it slowly with each step you take. The numbers on his door grow and grow until you finally face it. You think about it, probably the first time you reflect before doing anything that concerns Jimin.
It never felt so improper to knock on his door. What will you say? What if he doesn't answer or closes the door on you? Would he refuse to talk to you? Maybe, maybe not. You don't know.
You take a deep breath and knock, now feeling much more anxious than when you entered his apartment building. Nothing happens until you hear shuffling behind the door and feet stepping on the floor, the doorknob turning hastily.
Your heart beats faster and you find yourself shaking, gulping uncomfortably. You look in front of you, preparing yourself to see him, lay your eyes on him after what felt like weeks — months, even.
It felt like hell, honestly. Maybe that's why you don't know how much time passed by because there's no time in hell, there's only suffering.
The door opens and he's there, standing before you. Your heart skips a beat when you notice how awful he looks and you feel the pain, the atrocious pain he went through. You thought you were the first one to break, but clearly, you weren't.
His eyes are all red and it looks like he's been crying for days, probably even more. He has huge black circles under his eyes and they are really puffy. His last tears must have hurt badly when they fell down, you tell yourself.
His nose is red, as well as his cheeks. His lips are sealed in a straight line, even when he sees you. No emotions pass through his eyes, but his appearance contradicts this fact because it's evident he's been overwhelmed with all kinds of feelings these past few days. He's surely tired, he has cried enough and his eyes can't produce any water anymore.
"Hi," you manage to breathe out, swallowing when he doesn't budge an inch. "Can I... Can I enter?" You stutter out and you wait anxiously for his answer, but none comes except him stepping aside to let you in.
You let out a quiet 'thank you' and enter his apartment. He closes the door behind you, and even though the place is extremely familiar to you, having been here numerous times, you stand uselessly in the entry.
He doesn't move much as well, hiding his hands in the pockets of his black sweatpants. He looks at you and you look back at him, but you're the only one who desperately needs him to say something, anything. After all, you're the one who came to him, so you're the one who has to speak first, but it's so difficult.
"Are you... okay?" You ask, trying to make small talk, to revive the flame between you two that used to be so bright. You quickly realize that your question is stupid and you're only worsening the already awkward situation.
You're still really worried about him. You hope he didn't start any unhealthy habits, like you did. He probably stopped eating knowing him, whereas you ate day and night until the simple thought of food made you puke.
He rolls his eyes, certain that you know the answer. It's obvious just by looking at him. "What do you think? Do I look okay to you?" He replies sarcastically, shaking his head and chuckling without an ounce of laughter behind his voice.
You step forward, seeking some intimacy with him, but you don't move further. "No, no... That's why I asked," you justify yourself, fidgeting on your fingers because you don't know what to do with your hands. "I've never wanted the... the fight to end like that," you confess, looking away from him, but lifting your gaze up again when you hear him exhale.
His eyes are glossy and the corners of his lips tug downward. He glances to the side, avoiding your eyes, trying to hide the fact that he's about to cry, again. He blinks and that's when a tear rolls down his face, hanging on his jaw.
"Me neither." He looks back at you and your heart breaks into a thousand pieces. "We have to hurt each other, don't we?" He questions, but you don't really understand what he means by that. "To know if the other really loves us," he says, voice not as strong as usual.
You frown. Do you have to hurt each other for that? It's not like you're afraid to say those three words and he never hesitates to say them back. Maybe it's to prove it because what do they mean if you're never showing a true proof of your love.
"But we do love each other, I don't understand..." You whisper, taking another step forward.
"There's nothing to understand," he explains. "It's what happens when you love too much... too obsessively." His words confuse you because they're heavy, strong of meaning and he can't say that without giving further explanation. "You shred apart the last thing you have, the most precious you've ever possessed."
You can't stand there any longer, and you close the distance that is separating you from each other. He looks down at you while you look up at him, heart heavy with your emotions and his as well. You're the most precious thing he has and because his love surpasses everything he has ever felt in his life, he can't control it. He can't control his love from growing into something obsessive and sickly.
"I love you, Jimin," you affirm strongly, not allowing him to ever doubt it. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have reacted like that. There's nothing else in the world that I feel more guilty about, I don't want you to hurt yourself."
Kind and sweet, that's what you are and he tries to be like that as well, especially to you. It's how you perceive him, but your short break up made him realize things. He can't be without you anymore, he has to have you, to possess you. He'd simply die if he doesn't have you.
He eyes you down, gaze hurtful and sad, as well as something else, something you've never seen in him before. "It doesn't matter," he says, grabbing your bicep. He pulls you in closer, his face hovering just above yours. "Do you love me?"
You frown again, confused that he's asking you this question after you've proudly said you do. "Of course I do, I love-" But that's not what he wants to hear. He has to be clearer.
He cuts you off, shaking his head. "No. Do you love me the way I do?" He rectifies, looking intensely at you, hoping his love isn't wrong or sick. Hoping you feel the same so he knows he's not crazy.
"What... what do you mean?" You breathe out shakily, keeping eye-contact with him, slightly becoming afraid of him.
"I want you to be mine," he whispers, his icy breath hitting your cheek, making you shiver. "Not because we're a couple, but because I sincerely believe that you were made for me, only me," he admits, finally suppressing this heavy weight his heart was carrying since the day he met you.
You're not really surprised to hear that from him. It's something he says a lot during sex, how your body fits so well with his and how he's the only person capable of satisfying you. You've never thought it was more than just a talk, more than things he says to turn you on.
You're his and that's a fact, but how deep does he mean it? It's not like you've never imagined your future with him, being his girlfriend forever. But again, at what point does he want to possess you? Romantically, intimately... or physically?
"We're meant to be together and I know you believe it, too," he tries to convince you and there's no need to because you don't see yourself with somebody who isn't him. "I'd do anything to have you, even if it means going against you," he confesses and his lips are so close to yours.
It distracts you from the true meaning of his last words, and maybe it's better like this. You don't respond to his question either and you don't know if you could answer it anyway.
But before his lips can touch yours, he turns you around and pins you against the wall. You let out a squeak, feeling like you were lured in a trap. You're stuck between your boyfriend and the wall adjacent to the front door.
"Jimin," you mutter, your heart starting to beat faster. "What are you doing?" Your body is telling you that there is a danger, activating your stress hormones, making you shake, sweat and cry.
He sticks his chest to your back with a lot of insistence, leaving no room for you to move or to breathe. "Claiming what's mine," he answers curtly, pulling your pants and panties down your thighs very gently.
You're not wet and prepared yet and it makes you stress even more, but you've done that with him before. The simple thought of it makes your clit throb, so you should be good.
It doesn't take him long to take his penis out, stroking it behind you so it grows fully hard. You feel him touching himself against your ass and you look behind your shoulder, watching him run his palm up and down his cock.
He grips your hip with the other hand and kisses the side of your face, being lovely, as always. "Baby, are you going to please me?" He murmurs, feeling his plump lips brushing against your skin.
Your eyes water, but none of your tears will equal the amount of pain he felt during your break up. You feel sorry, and if he wants you, he will have you. "Yes, Jimin, I will..."
"Okay, then take a deep breath, sweetheart," he advises and that's when you feel the head of his cock pushing in, forcing an entrance for him.
You gasp loudly, tears appearing in the corners of your eyes. You form fists with your hands, a wave of pain going through your body. You're not used to suffering during such an intimate moment with Jimin, but you can't dislike it at the same time.
"M-Minnie," your voice breaks down in a sob, letting your sweet boyfriend penetrate you solely because he wants to. When he's half-way in, he lets go of his cock to pass his arms around your waist, hugging from behind and kissing the burning skin of your face, damped by your tears.
"Shhh, you're being such a good girl right now," he coos, still pushing in and stretching out your cunt to the size of his girth. It burns, but you also clench around him, aroused by the way he's manhandling you. "My pretty baby..." He sings in your ear and you feel him smile, leaving soft and feathery kisses all over your skin that is exposed to him.
He whimpers when he's all in the way in your pussy, finally being where he belongs. You feel him exhale, his breath fanning across your face. He swallows hard before he picks up a comfortable pace, fucking his dick into you while keeping your back flushed against his chest.
"I want you with me forever, baby," he says in a low tone, so close to you that you feel every breath he takes. "Forever..." He repeats, so you don't forget, so you know he's really sincere.
You whine, the pleasure starting to mix in with the stinging pain. His arms circles you, keeps you safe and warm. Mentally, you feel great, maybe a little bit too much and that's why the tears keep flowing even though he's not hurting you anymore.
"I will, Minnie," you whisper back, making him groan. He likes hearing it from you, likes knowing you love him unconditionally, that you'd never question his feelings for you.
Why question when you're sure he'd kiss your fever away, dance with you and make you fall in love over and over again. There's no point in leaving when he's the only safe place you have, the only lover you'll ever have and the only person who would do anything for you. Leaving is not an option, not even conceivable when you know you'll never find someone better than him.
"You will? Oh, baby," he mewls, thrusting in your pussy slowly, at a rhythm that is almost agonizing, making you lose your mind. "I love you," he says painfully, holding you tighter. "Love you so much, you have no idea..." He mutters the last four words, rolling his hips against your ass, his cock sliding in just so perfectly.
You don't respond, but it doesn't bother Jimin. You don't have enough breath to answer anyway and you don't have all of your mind right now. He finds your clit and quickly circles it with his finger. You understand he's close and that he wants you to cum around him at the same time as him.
He buries his face into your hair, growling as his balls tighten the more he pounds into your pussy. "Shit," he breathes out, trying to control himself and to not cum too early, but he missed your cunt too much. "I'm gonna fill you up with my cum and you gonna take it like a good girl, okay, baby?" He instructs and you nod immediately, swallowing in a whine.
You moan loudly when your orgasm shoots through you, pussy contracting around Jimin's cock. It makes him moan too, deep and raspy, rocking his hips against your butt to reach his high as well. The overstimulation doesn't feel great, but you stay quiet, only whining from his hard thrusts.
You struggle to stand still on your legs, but he holds you to him with his strong arms and you place your hands over his that are resting on your belly. Your face is squished against the wall as Jimin fucks you restlessly.
"Oh, fuck, I'm cumming," he announces hastily, and he does. A lot. You feel him filling you up with his seeds while he groans against your ear, making you roll your eyes into your head.
As he empties himself into your cunt, he keeps his pace, fucking his own cum into you. It gets messy really fast, dripping down your inner thighs that are close to each other since your pants are still hanging on over your thighs.
He has difficulty moving in you, so he pulls out, gripping his cock to stroke it angrily. He cums on your ass, white ropes falling on your bottom. You whimper, watching him over your shoulder milking himself dry above your butt. Small white beads come out of his tip, landing on you, and he's finally done, trying to catch his breath.
He raises his gaze up to you and his eyes are still red and puffy, like yours, eyelashes wet from your previous tears. He turns you around, making you face him, and he crashes his mouth on yours. Your tongues tangle together, he bites your lip, assaulting your flesh with his teeth. It's short, but feverish, as intense as the beating of your heart.
He ends the kiss, laying his forehead on yours. He looks in your eye, this simple exchange meaning everything, sealing both of your souls together. You are one once and for all.
✧˖*°࿐
.
.
.
Do not ask for a part 2.
#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts imagines#bts x reader#bts scenarios#bts drabble#jimin drabble#jimin smut#jimin x reader#jimin fanfic#jimin fanfiction#jimin imagines#jimin scenarios#jimin angst
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With the men that do get abused, is there any difference in how domestic abuse presents, specifically when the abusive partner is female? Is it common for men to experience the same level of physical violence and sexual assault that do women? What about post separation aggression, abuse of the court system and cps etc? My initial reaction would be to guess no because of how much societal standing and also physical strength (super generally speaking) play into the power men are able to hold over women but this is really just a gut reaction and I could be wrong. (This is also not to invalidate the effect abuse and control tactics that don’t rise to the level of physical/ sexual assault can have of course.) What is your experience with this working with victims/ survivors?
in my personal experience, all male victims i've worked with have had male perpetrators. this may be because i am part of the lgbtq community, and several lgbtq orgs will refer victims from their agency to me, meaning i may be more likely to see a male victim in a same sex relationship than other attorneys in my field.
based on the existing research i know about, research about female perpetration/male victimization is very controversial & there are many disagreements in academia about the best ways to research this, the shortfalls of various research tools, etc. so with that as a great big caveat, here's what i know of existing research:
i think it's important to start with a consensus in the field: male violence is more likely to lead to serious injury and death of female victims.
male violence tends to inflict more psychological and physical damage than female violence. here and here.
male violence produces injury at roughly six times the rate of female violence. here.
women are also more likely to be killed by their male partners than the reverse. according to the US Department of Justice, 84% of spousal murder victims are female, and women in general are more likely to be killed by their spouses than all other types of assailants combined. here.
Michael Kimmel noted that more than 90% of "systematic, persistent, and injurious" violence is perpetrated by men. here.
from a particularly useful study about female violence: here.
women’s violence usually occurs in the context of violence against them by their male partners;
women and men are equally likely to initiate physical violence in relationships involving less serious “situational couple violence,”
in relationships in which serious and very violent “intimate terrorism” occurs, men are much more likely to be perpetrators and women victims;
studies of couples in mutually violent relationships find more negative effects for women than for men.
and further:
multiple studies indicate that the majority of women's IPV against male partners is in the context of being victimized. here
although less serious situational violence or altercation was equal for both genders, more serious and violent abuse was perpetrated by men & women's physical violence was more likely motivated by self-defense or fear while men's was more likely motivated by control. here
the common motives for female on male domestic violence were anger, a need for attention, or as a response to their partner's own violence. here
although minor domestic violence was equal, more severe violence was perpetrated by men; men were more likely to beat up, choke or strangle their partners, while women were more likely to throw things at their partner, slap, kick, bite, punch, or hit with an object. here
70% of female victims in a study were "very frightened" in response to intimate partner violence from their partners, but 85% of male victims cited "no fear". here
[if you found this post helpful or informative, please consider subscribing to my substack, it does take me a decent amount of time to research, write, and source posts like this, and substack subscriptions are deeply appreciated]
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TW- !Melanie Martinez accusations!
If you use the Piper Sweeney video as “evidence” that the Melanie Martinez allegations are false you are literally either delusional or under 13 yrs old
Just actually watched it for the first time recently and I’m fucking baffled lmaoooo
I have been out of the loop and years ago I remember seeing some sort of “proof” and was on Mel’s side but obviously my views have completely changed
I just want to mention Piper refers to ppl with BPD as “Borderlines” and incredibly generalize them 💀
A small list of a few of the shit talking points Piper uses-
1. Timothy’s statement is too long (but also not detailed enough? Lmao)
2. Their personal experiences don’t align with Timothy’s so therefore Timothy is lying
3. Timothy says she repeatedly said no until finally she gave in and was silent (according to Piper only one of those can be true???)
4. Timothy refers to something as “oral sex” which Piper responds with “Sex does not equal rape” (Piper does a lot of this irrelevant criticism of Timothy’s wording when your average human being understands that within this context the use of “oral sex” does not mean what happened was consensual and was just used to accurately describe what happened
5. Piper thinks Timothy should have said what kind of sex toy was used???? Seriously?
6. Overall just a crazy amount of speculation, like 90% of what they say, or just things that I can’t even wrap my mind around how they would have gotten to that conclusion
Not to mention, no matter if you believe the victim or not this is a serious situation and the amount of jokes and inappropriate wording being used in this video is disgusting, at one point they say “Timothy’s Vajuices” which made me cringe horribly
The like to dislike ratio on that video is really fucking sad
You can believe who ever you want, but if your only evidence is that shitty ass video you should probably do a bit of rethinking
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hello again~
I'm here to ask a question about LoZ. so, I have a friend who plays and recommended it to me because she knows I love open world games and breath of the wild is (apparently) one of the best open world games ever and I've been hesitating ever since. she might be a little biased tho lol
and like. there's a sale going on right now for botw, so the recommendation just kind made itself known in my memory again
anyway so, basically I'm here to ask if it'll be worth it? I mean, the general consensus wherever I go seems to be 'amazing, go get it u won't regret it'
(and, this is totally optional, but if you could answer asap that would be great because idk when the sale ends, thank you)
p.s I love little blade. you're amazing
I think it's obvious by now that I am a //massive// Zelda fan so tbh I'm likely no less bias than your friend lmfao, but that being said I'm going to try and give as balanced a response as possible!
Pros
BotW is beautiful, and I mean b e a u t i f u l . The graphics have this lovely watercolour quality to them as an ode to the artstyle used in Skyward Sword, but more crisp & refined. Unlike a lot of the big open world games (looking at you skyrim) BotW doesn't sacrifice colour or try to be "gritty", but rather leans into that soft-apocalypse, studio ghibli vibe.
The narrative is equally lovely and fulfilling, and depending upon what order you collect Link's memories in you will likely have a different gameplay experience. You'll also meet a lovable cast of characters to whom you'll end up unreasonably attached, which will ultimately break your heart in the end,,, I apologise in advance, but I promise you it's worth the pain.
On that note, do it for my bitch-ass bird son. You'll know him when you meet him.
Link can jump. This will mean very little to you if you've not played a LoZ game before, but my boy can fucking JUMP.
You can also climb pretty much everything (bar like one specific material) which means if you want to get to that Cool Thing Over There, then with a mix of mix of ungodly arrogance, sheer willpower, and a lot of stamina potions, you can. If you suffer from the magpie brain (ie. you see a new shiny thing and become immediately sidetracked from your original objective) this will mean that you take about 10x as long as you should to do literally anything, but my god is it fun.
The soundtrack gives me feelings that I cannot put into words, and the voice acting is //phenomenal//. Importantly, Link himself does not have a voice actor which is the only correct choice considering he's been heavily implied throughout the entire LoZ franchise to be an elective mute, and I would have //hated// hearing him speak.
Link is also just a very sweet & funny golden retriever boy who occasionally sasses back like nobody's business. 10/10 protagonist.
If you like women, you will like them even more by the end. If you don't like women, there's a 90% chance you'll seriously reconsider it upon meeting [REDACTED].
The game has something for everyone: you like exploring? Well you're going to do a lot of that. You like collectables? There are so many outfits (that you can dye to your liking!) and a wholeass compendium to fill out. You like puzzles? You'll certainly find your fair share. You like combat? The basic mechanics are what you'd expect with there are enough different enemy types to keep it interesting, but dO NOT FIGHT A LYNEL WITHOUT MAKING SURE YOU HAVE ENOUGH WEAPONS BC THEY WILL BREAK AND LEAVE YOU WITH A VERY ANGRY VERY MEAN MAN TRYING TO KILL YOU.
It is genuinely very good value for money, and even more so if you can get it on sale! Not only do you have the mainline game & all its side-quests, but there's also the expansion pass, and, of course, an entire sequel just ready and waiting!
Cons
Sometimes the open world can feel a little too open. Considering the game's context, it makes sense, but comparatively games like Skyrim feel more densely packed with Things To Do, whereas BotW has several areas of overgrown nothingness that are lovely to look at, but not especially interesting (though this is better rectified in TotK).
You can't swim underwater. This was not rectified in TotK, though I dearly wish it had been.
A lot of fans used to complain about the temple format of p much every Zelda game up until this point, so the developers essentially removed temples altogether and instead replaced them with only four (technically optional) Divine Beasts, plus Hyrule Castle itself. I... did not like this. I'm a big puzzle girlie, and though BotW has shrines scattered across the landscape—most of which are puzzle-based—I personally felt that this substitute was lacking in comparison to the original. TotK does improve on this by reintroducing temples, but I still could have gone for a few more (Skyward Sword was the opposite of this, with very linear gameplay which a lot of people hated, but I personally will stand by SS's Ancient Cistern until my dying breath, and Twilight Princess had some really innovative temples that I have replayed several times over).
On a semi-adjacent note, the final boss just... wasn't my favourite. That's not to say it was bad, only as boss fights go I've had better (I did, however, like the final segment of that fight).
You will develop an immediate fear response to the Guardian music.
Ultimately though, I absolutely do think you should buy it, and am jealous that you'll get to have that bright-eyed bushy-tailed first-time experience, because believe me, if I could erase my memories and play BotW all over again, I would.
#in short: BUY IT AND ENJOY#AND TELL ME WHEN YOU MEET MY BITCHY BIRD SON & WHAT YOU THINK OF HIM ASDJVHGVDFSK#sa screams back#the author speaks#LoZ
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1990s Breakbeat Playlist
Started building a version of this playlist on YouTube earlier this year, but now I think I’ve got enough songs to constitute one for Spotify. 11 tracks and nearly an hour long. YouTube playlist currently has 20 songs though and is definitely better, but I understand how much more convenient Spotify is than YouTube.
Breakbeat’s a term that often gets misapplied and there isn’t much consensus over what it means. So I’ll say this: breakbeat tunes all have one thing in common and that’s the drum break. Whereas genres like house and techno rely on a four-on-the-floor kick drum as their foundational rhythm, breakbeat relies on a sampled drum break. And there are some more specific strains of breakbeat too, like breakbeat hardcore, which is faster and more rave-y, and big beat, which is like Fatboy Slim and Chemical Brothers stuff. This isn’t any of that more specific stuff; it’s just breakbeat.
Breakbeat also gets confused with breaks, and breaks artists, to me, are those more hip hop-oriented folks who string together a bunch of old school samples to make one concrete track. I love that stuff, but I wouldn’t call it or lump it in with breakbeat.
So here’s a small serving of some 90s breakbeat fire 🔥🔥🔥.
This playlist is ordered as chronologically as possible and links are provided below to songs that have been posted about previously in order to give them more context:
Da Juice - “Hear the Angels” (titled as “Make Me Come (c’mon c’mon)” on Spotify)
I.A.O. - “The Clan”
Autechre - “Crystel”
Tim ‘Love’ Lee - “One Word”
808 State - “Bird”
Spacer - “It’s a Nano World”
Callisto - “Junkle I”
Transmutator - “My Wonderful Friend (Children of Dub mix)”
Broadcast - “Hammer Without a Master”
Shur-i-ken - “Niomi’s Dream”
Banabila - “Voiz III”
And here’s a list of the songs that are exclusively on the YouTube playlist:
Plaid - “Scoobs in Columbia”
2 Bad Mice - “Bombscare ‘94″
Boston Bruins - “Raise Your Hands (1994 Icey remix)”
X-Nemesis - “Sonar”
Surya - “Entituden (remix)”
Juantrip’ - “Shadows (F100 mix)”
Rennie Pilgrem & The Thursday Club - “Some Place Funky (Back to the Future mix)”
Sons Of Mecha [VR Boy & DJ Erb] - “Rocweiller”
Genaside II - “The Genaside Will Not Be Televised”
Also on YouTube Music.
Enjoy!
More to come, eventually. Stay tuned!
Like what you hear? Follow me on Spotify and YouTube for more cool playlists and uploads!
#breakbeat#dance#dance music#electronic#electronic music#music#90s#90s music#90's#90's music#playlist#playlists#spotify#spotify playlist#spotify playlists#youtube#youtube playlist#youtube playlists#youtube music#youtube music playlist#youtube music playlists
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Hey, as someone going into history do you have any recommendations for papers / articles / names to look into for work about the antisemitism inherent in the New Testament?
Obviously I don’t expect you to break down every instance of it in the New Testament, but considering I’m a gentile, And I was raised on the stuff, I feel like that would be useful to unpack; or don’t, and just delete this ask, whichever’s easier. Hope you have a nice day & thank you for your time
It’s not a bother at all.
Im gonna go into the dating and validity of the gospels first to put their date of composition into context of how they were written during the time when the religion had switched from trying to convert Jews and moved to trying to convert non-Jews within the Roman Empire. That’s to provide a base why they would have a motivation to demonize Jews in the eyes of Roman converts.
So Phene Perkins, in 1998, wrote in an article titled The Synoptic Gospels and the Acts of the Apostles: Telling the Christian Story that is in the collected books The Cambridge companion to biblical interpretation, that the Gospel of Mark dates to around 66-70 CE. Mitchell Reddish wrote in 2011 in his book An Introduction to the Gospels that Mark and Luke date to 85-90 CE. Andrew Lincoln wrote in 2005 in Gospel According to St John that the book of John was written some time around 90-110 CE. Reddish also recounts how, in spite of the position of internal church views and doctrines, there is scholarly consensus that all of the gospels were written by anonymous writers and not the people they’re named after, and that they were not written by eyewitnesses to the events they claim to cover.
Secular, non-Church affiliated, scholars also look at how there are contradictions between the gospels, even including certain aspects of Jesus’ supposed life being present in some of the four and not the other. Here’s a handy chart to explain that part:
There’s also a portion of historians that even doubt the historical existence of Jesus, such as Joseph Atwill, due to the lack of actual tangible primary source historical documents or archeological proof and since all that exists is religious writings.
As for direct antisemitism, first there’s Jesus’ attack on the Temple. The Gospels frame it as Jesus throwing out people who have defaced the Temple, but in actuality they were following a commandment from Torah, so that’s where I’ll get my next source.
So here in Deuteronomy, well before the First Temple was even built, there’s this commandment to help Jews observe Temple practices. Any kind of offering taken to the Temple, be it animal or grain, needed to follow certain criteria and be in pristine condition. The farther away someone was from wherever the Temple would be built, the greater the likelihood of their offering being harmed or damaged along the way there. That would mean those people would be unable to make those Temple sacrifices and thus unable to observe that crucial part of Temple Judaism. So in Torah there is a provision put in place where someone who lived far from the Temple could sell what they would sacrifice in their local area and community, bundle that money up, head to the outer courtyard of the Temple where such interactions were perfectly fine and acceptable, and exchange that money for the sacrifice they were going to make. It was all about equity and accessibility. But the gospels would have you instead view that effort as one of greed and defilement.
This isn’t the only instance of antisemitism in the New Testament though. Rabbi Michael J. Cook, Professor of Intertestamental and Early Christian Literature at the Hebrew Union College, stated that are ten themes of anti-Jewish sentiment within the New Testament: “The Jews are culpable for crucifying Jesus – as such they are guilty of deicide.
The tribulations of the Jewish people throughout history constitute God's punishment of them for killing Jesus.
Jesus originally came to preach only to the Jews, but when they rejected him, he abandoned them for gentiles instead.
The Children of Israel were God's original chosen people by virtue of an ancient covenant, but by rejecting Jesus they forfeited their chosenness - and now, by virtue of a New Covenant (or "testament"), Christians have replaced the Jews as God's chosen people, the Church having become the "People of God."
The Jewish Bible ("Old" Testament) repeatedly portrays the opaqueness and stubbornness of the Jewish people and their disloyalty to God.
The Jewish Bible contains many predictions of the coming of Jesus as the Messiah (or "Christ"), yet the Jews are blind to the meaning of their own Bible.
By the time of Jesus' ministry, Judaism had ceased to be a living faith.
Judaism's essence is a restrictive and burdensome legalism.
Christianity emphasizes love, while Judaism stands for justice and a God of wrath.
Judaism's oppressiveness reflects the disposition of Jesus' opponents called "Pharisees" (predecessors of the "rabbis"), who in their teachings and behavior were hypocrites (see Woes of the Pharisees).”
This was in his 2013 historical monograph, Christians & Jews - Faith to Faith: Tragic History, Promising Present, Fragile Future.
While there are some verses in the New Testament that have some level of positive things to say about Jews, such as John 4:22 and Romans 11:28, these pale in comparison to other textual examples within the New Testament.
It was Judas, a Jew, who turned Jesus over to the Romans. Peter, another Jew, denied Jesus three times. Thomas, another, doubted Jesus’ resurrection. The people in Jerusalem, when offered a change by Pilate to have a prisoner released chose the criminal Barabas over Jesus and instead urged him to crucify Jesus. Some of the gospels go so far as to say that it wasn’t just a crowd of people, but also Jewish leadership in the Sanhedrin. This all is a measure of laying treachery, cowardice, stubbornness, and deicide (the death of Jesus) at the feet of the Jews.
Matthew 23:31-33 calls Jews a “brood of vipers,” with at least one translation saying “how can you escape being sentenced to hell?”
Revelation 2:9 and 3:9 call Jews the “synagogue of Satan” for the refusal to accept Jesus as the messiah.
And in a larger sense, many historians trace the antisemitism that caused the Holocaust all the way back to the New Testament itself. A. Roy Eckardt says this in 1967 in Elder and Younger Brothers: The Encounter of Jews and Christians. Other historians, such as James Dunn, state that the New Testament is responsible for the whole of Christian hatred and persecution of Jews across the younger religion’s whole history.
If you’d like more or you have any other questions, please feel free to shoot them my way and I’ll do what I can do answer them.
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I make money hand over fist by laying on my back doing basically nothing while some fat fuck cums in under 30 seconds and you whine online inbetween your 14 hour shifts at whatever shitty wagecuck job you’ve got. We are not the same. Go Retweet cookie porn or whatever it is you do here while I go buy tears of the kingdom lmfao
Legitimately fuck you and all these 'sex workers' who try to make their own exploitation sound easy and glamorous and fun and peddle onlyfans and stripping on TikTok as 'a way out of the system' for teenage girls to see with your fucking glitter filter money-counting videos. Fuck you people. Genuinely fuck all of you. Pawns of female exploitation and human trafficking. A literal demonic male feminist psyop. You're a fucking joke say that shit about tears of the fucking kingdom to the face of the millions of prostituted women worldwide. Legitimately vile.
'Sex work is work' Why are 80-90% of prostitutes female, why are 80% of them under 25, why are they disproportionately poor, marginalized, disproportionally the victims of physical violence, murder, suicide, AIDs, drug addictions, etc. Why have over half suffered previous sexual abuse. "If sex work was decriminalized they could-" Okay how come in Germany, where it's 'decriminalized', most prostitutes are Roma or Eastern European and the country has the highest rates of human trafficking in Europe, with the pimp sector taking the most massive victory. Why do so many of them- the vast majority- wish to leave or have literally no other option. Where's your industry standardization, protections, union rights, healthcare benefits, legal protections, ETC. Where's your protection against bodily harm, bodily fluids, illnesses, injuries. Where is the power you have against the pimp sector and the government. Why are you fucking murdered so often. If it's labor just like any other career just like coal mining or what-have-you where are ANY of these benefits and protections. Can you revoke consent by quitting your job anytime. Can you revoke consent by refunding at any time or are you 'locked in' when the session starts. Would you consent to self-admittedly unpleasant and undesirable sex with these 'fat fucks' without money involved. Do you think money buys consent under the context of one needing money to survive in this world- does a starving woman prostituting herself for bread constitute as a consensual exchange, or was it coercion, and why. Is assault okay if the assaulter pays afterwards. What if they state they intend first and then refuse to pay afterwards. Are you allowed to deny any customer on the basis of anything including sex/gender or is that discrimination because it's standardized employment. Describe to me how 'unpaid labor' and 'overtime' in the venue of sex work would pay out. Explain to me how this field abiding by completely different rules in every single one of these ways means absolutely nothing.
Why do you all react in this defensive way to defend the global sex industry. Is it some kind of self-defense mechanism. I don't know how anyone can recognize the reality of female exploitation in this world and still delude themselves in the manner such as you have. You're a victim of this same system and still peddle yourself as rich and glamorous in this way in this teenage girl's inbox over buying tears of the fucking kingdom. "I have to reactively defend my own sexual exploitation in the inbox of this stranger by describing how I have self-admittedly coerced sex with selfish men". You and every other literal ghoul you don't defend or support sex workers at all. You support rapist sex-buyers in their 99% male glory and you support the massively expansive industry that constantly abuses ALL sex workers including you. You shove your head into the fucking sand in order to campaign for this shit. You either don't know or don't care about what these legalized countries look and are like. You have no answer for why sex work is the way it is in this deeply misogynistic and sexist society. You don't care about or want to support trans sex workers either because you don't have a fucking answer as to why men want access to the bodies of the most marginalized groups, why they're forced into it so early often due to homelessness, why they're so often beaten and killed, and why this profession is what causes the beating and the killing. You don't have an answer as to how to defend against violent, selfish, misogynistic, sexist, racist sex buyers who deliberately target the youngest and most vulnerable. You don't care about the root, the cause, the means. You can't acknowledge any of this without acknowledging the brutality of sex work, which is why you never do, and behave in these aggressive reactionary ways in the inboxes of strangers instead. Your head is in the sand it's deep in the fucking sand. Pull it out and recognize your own exploitation I'm begging you.
And fuck you extra because I have the fucking game anyway
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There’s a ballbusting domme whose Twitter and blog I used to read. She also produced videos, but those never appealed to me. Even aside from the pricetags, they were just too intense. Take this one, “Squeeze Me”
Hey, wait, hold on. £23.00? She’s British? Didn’t they pass that “rough sex” law in 2020? I remember that both from Tumblr and from Collective Shout, that Australian feminist organization I showed some finds from a while back.
The Tumblr post, which was opposed to the law (I can’t find it but I remember) rather overstated its extent. The post said that it outright criminalizes “rough sex”, whereas the real law
only applies if actual bodily harm occurs.
So, most of her videos, where the guy is in a lot of pain but doesn’t get seriously injured, would, I think, not be in violation of this law. But this one, where something that I would certainly classify as “actual bodily harm or other more serious injury” happens, would be punishable as assault, no matter how much the guy consented to having his testicle ruptured, which in this case is “fully”. As opposed to the case of “Squeeze Me 2”, which is arguably “kinda”. Wait, what?
OK, so in the first Squeeze Me, the guy specifically consented to the rupture of a testicle, but in the second the guy consented to “anything”, which ended up being the rupture of a testicle. I’m not sure about this interpretation, but I think in that the second, she wasn’t specifically aiming to rupture it, she just squeezed it hard enough that it did. She didn’t intend it to happen, but neither did she intend it not to.
But even if it were a complete accident, if she were specifically aiming to cause pain and avoid rupture, she’d probably still be considered guilty of assault were she tried, since the commentary on the law repudiates the “rough sex gone wrong” defense.
One question you may have is “is she aware of this law?” And my answer is, probably not. In a March 2021 blog post (which, incidentally, corroborates my interpretation of Squeeze Me 2), she writes
which, in light of the 2020 law, is clearly in error.
Of course, she may have become aware of the law since then. She hasn’t stopped plugging Squeeze Me 1 & 2 though.
…
The notion that one cannot consent to physical harm in sexual contexts, while codified in the 2020 act, is not new to British law. Indeed, in one of the above screenshots, they cite R v Brown [1993], in which five men were prosecuted for consensual acts of CBT, such as hot-wax sounding and the nailing of foreskins to boards. And in creating the 2008 law against possession of “extreme pornography” (part of the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act of 2008), the Home Office expressed their rationale thus.
Hey wait! The 2008 law against possession of extreme pornography! Are the Squeeze Me videos in violation of that?
And not only would she be on the hook, bit anyone who bought the videos as well.
Note that it says “or is likely to result”. This is ambiguous of course, but it might call even more videos into question. This one, “Elastrator Experiments”, comes to mind.
I mean, you can’t get much more explicit than that.
In a session described in the above-excerpted blog-post, section Trick Ball Vice! (NOT the same session as Elastrator Experiments), she writes
Even though she knows that it could cause necrosis, it didn’t. (“Flat and purple, looked like dead zombie balls” describes the appearance of heavily bruised, not necrotic, testicles) Since there is no lasting injury, and she doesn’t possess video of the session, neither law is violated.
Anyway, that’s the law. You can discuss the morality.
• NOTES •
This is not a “callout” or anything, and I certainly don’t want her prosecuted. I just found this interesting to investigate.
She uses phrases like “ruined”, “to oblivion”, “de-nutted”, etc., but she’s being hyperbolic. If you can get to a surgeon in 72 hours, testicular rupture can be fully repaired 90% of the time.
@stop-entropy-lie-down opines, correctly I think, that these laws are unlikely to be prosecuted unless she is sued by a client or investigated for a separate crime. It’s worth noting that the case of R v Brown was part of a Thatcher-era police crackdown on the gay BDSM scene.
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There are so many The Queers Were Good And The Straights Were Bad In Rocky Horror takes and I'm so ????
RHPS is good because none of these characters are good people! None! They're all incredibly interesting and it varies how much of a bad person the individual character is, but none of them are morally pure. They all do shit that you wouldn't approve of, the only character that is arguably innocent in the narrative is Rocky because he's got like 3 braincells to his name and has been plopped into a world that severely happens to him the entire time and that he can barely make sense of.
Like bro the siblings for sure aren’t the good guys, but what makes them bad is not the fact that theyre in a straight relationship. I mean theyre literally aliens, what do we know whether the concept of genders and/or heterosexuality is even a thing for them. You can't even apply straight to them in that sense.
But even if we disregard the alien bit and say okay, theyre in a straight, incestuous relationship - the fact that it's straight isn't morally condemning. Even the incest, which seems to not be normal or accepted within the transsylvanian culture either (going off of surrounding material that isn't in RHPS itself), is at least consensual. Compare and contrast with Frank, the beloved protagonist, setting out to rape 3 people over the course of a 90 minute movie.
Frank is a narcissist, and he is despicable for just about every single thing he does. Him being queer (again, technically alien logic so how queer in the human sense he really is is questionable but lets ignore that) doesn't make him a good person, in fact he's the worst person in the entire movie. But he's an excellent CHARACTER. He's fun to watch, and as a viewer you enjoy his presence immensely. You experience what it's like to get drawn in by him the same way he draws in the majority of the surrounding cast. But he's awful. He murders and rapes and has no regard for anyone but himself. No amount of queerness will save him from that.
Janet and Brad both have queer experiences during the movie, but does that make them queer? Brad's only sexual contact is with Frank, who may I remind you is assaulting him and then keeps going despite the fact that Brad never actually says yes to what's happening, he just ceases to put up resistance. He actively tells Frank to stop and Frank DOESN'T LISTEN. When Janet sees the aftermath of that encounter on the monitor, Frank looks very pleased with himself and Brad is off to the side, more clothed than he was when Frank came in, and seems to contemplate what just happened to him - and not in a good way.
Janet, while more enthusiastic about it, also has to get tricked into sex with Frank for it to happen in the first place and later goes on to have sex with Rocky. Granted, sex with Frank can in some shape or form always be interpreted as queer because of who Frank is, but he's mostly treated as a man by the narrative (I say mostly because there is that very telling part about him wanting to look like Fay Wray in Rose Tint My World, although he also expresses jealousy only over her clothing).
To get back to the point, Janet's only other explicitly queer contact is with Columbia, during Rose Tint My World - which seems to have all of them under the influence of some sort of spell/drug/alien pheromone??? Brad still is hesitant about what is happening during RTMW despite participating, so it's a bit unclear how much of their actions during the song are out of free will. I'm not saying that because I want to diminish the queer contact that does very much happen, I just think seeing it happen and deciding it's queer and therefore a good thing without further questioning isn't a good idea considering the context of the movie.
I personally like to think that Brad and Janet both realised something about themselves and their relationship with sex during the movie and took some of it with them post-castle. Maybe Janet actively allows herself to enjoy sex. Maybe she's had a bit of a bi awakening. Maybe Brad really did enjoy sex with a man and has to come to terms with it, or maybe he recognizes that it happened to him and he doesn't want that again. While I don't think that would’ve been a thought when the movie was made, Brad is also interpretable as realising he's not into sex at all and is coming to terms with that in a time where asexuality was not really part of the lgbtq vernacular yet
My point is, it's very difficult to assign "queer" or "straight" to most of these characters, and the same problem arises when trying to label them as "good" or "bad". They're complex, all of them, both in their morality and identity, and leave a lot of room for interpretation.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show is amazing because it's telling a queer story without shying away from letting its characters be gross and unpolished and wrong. It's a story about people connecting with their sexuality as much as it is a story about a narcissist who gets whats coming to him at the hand of a servant he's neglected and abused. I could write a whole essay on how Riff Raff gets pushed to kill in the final act throughout the movie, and how Magenta doesn't seem to realise it up until it's too late. But this was about the fact that RHPS doesnt make it as easy as "queer vs straight" and "good vs bad" so I'm gonna shut up now
#hale blabs about a 50 year old movie#ive seen shock treatment and am currently reading the script for the rocky horror sequel that never was and#richard o brien no offense but you have some wild brain movements my guy#rocky horror
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The network participation rate on Ethereum increased to 90% as Devnet-9 closes in on completion.
The Dencun testnet could launch before November ends.
Ethereum [ETH] developers had their usual All Core Developers Consensus (ACD) call on 5 October. From the meeting, they decided the timing for the Devnet-10 launch could happen earlier than initially projected.
How much are 1,10,100 ETHs worth today?
Once the block generator clears the way
Although the ACDC call #119 focused on the Dencun upgrade, the developers considered discussing the health and status of the latest developer Testnet Devnet-9 as a priority, alongside Devnet-10.
For the unfamiliar, Devnet-9 launched on 29 September, as a way to improve the network participation rate on the blockchain. The network participation rate is defined as the percentage of validators actively carrying out their duties on the network.
During the meeting, the developers noted that the network participation rate was impressively high at 90%.
However, Barnabas Busa, a DevOps Engineer for the Ethereum Foundation, mentioned that there were a few bugs with Devnet-9, especially in the execution layer. For context, the execution layer is the part of the network responsible for validating the state in the block header.
Meanwhile, the Ethereum Foundation seemed to be working on fixing the bug as Geth developer Marius van der Wijden said that he was working on updating the block generator for the execution layer.
Next, on the agenda was the Devnet-10, which is primarily to check the next maximum epoch churn limit in EIP-7514. EIP-7514 is designed to slow down the growth of the active validator set by tracking the soaring levels of staked ETH.
Dencun Testnet is set before November
At the time of writing, Santiment showed that the number of validator deposits was 1026. This was a notable decrease from the highs registered some weeks back. Therefore, the decline means that the objectives for Devnet-10 may already be set in motion.
As expected, Ethereum’s development activity has started to rise again. The Development Activity means the code committed by developers toward upgrades on a network. Over the past month, the metric tumbled. So, the slight rise implies that developers were starting to get back to polishing the network.
Source: Santiment
Realistic or not, here’s ETH’s market cap in BTC terms
As per Devnet-10, Parithosh Jayanthi, another DevOps Engineer at the Foundation mentioned that it could launch as early as next week. The Berlin-based developer, however, mentioned that the timeframe could be subject to the quickness of solving outstanding bugs and issues. Busa also weighed in on the matter saying,
“I would like to see all clients being able to participate and no more bugs on Devnet-9 before we proceed with the larger test. We should have a very stable, like 100% participation, before we move on.”
Regarding the Dencun final upgrade the cal chairman Tim Beiko restated that the public Testnet would happen before Ethereum’s Instabul conference in mid-November called Devconnect.
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Zero pressure at all but I desire some modern Auri fuckin people up in their usual ways. How about they make a snack out of a random homeless kid they find on the streets with Erich? They don't have to be mean to them, actually, but y'know, it IS whump...
CW: Vampirism, blood drinking, ~murder!~, Auri being immensely fucking creepy, dubcon touch and kissing, nonexplicit spicy times
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"When Irish eyes are smiling, sure it's like a morn in spring," They sing, voice low and husky, seemingly too deep for their lithe, lanky frame. They move with their head tipped to one side, blood-spattered white-blond hair hanging across cheekbones, sliding smooth as silk against jaw. Their eyes glimmer as they move in and out of shadows, flashing brilliant like a cat's, slit pupils blown wide in excitement.
They walk slowly - the prey runs.
It doesn't matter.
The man stumbles back and away, trips over his pretty rose garden, shaking droplets of water like a whole new kind of rain, scented lightly in a way that makes Auri think of perfume. The world is a heavy, humid fog around them, too warm and yet they feel nothing but the breeze.
They laugh when he falls, watching him scramble to stand. He's up and moving again, sure he'll survive them, but of course it isn't only them he should be worried about, now is it?
"In the lilt of Irish laughter, you can hear the angels sing..."
"Shut up!" He shouts, half-screams, and their laughter rises over the top of it until a light in the grand house behind him turns on. Auri looks up, bathed in darkness, to see a little girl pushing a window up to open it.
"Daddy?"
"G-go back inside, Frances!" The man's voice trembles, and Auri licks at their lips, a shudder of desire for that fear racing down their spine, the thrill of a hunt nearly finished.
"I am inside, Daddy, what's going on?" She can't be more than seven, the pretty thing. Auri looks up at her. "Is Mummy outside there with you? Or... or should I go get her?"
"No!" His voice is less a scream than a shriek, this time, and Auri feels the purr beginning to rumble even though they haven't bitten him yet. "N-no." The man tries to calm himself, and Auri holds perfectly still, all but invisible beneath the shade of some ancient tree, the last of what must have been a forest here, once. Now it's all civilization and boring as fuck. "No, darling. It's just... Daddy was thinking about a scary dream, that's all."
His eyes land on Auri's, and he holds their gaze in a sudden burst of bravery. That English stiff upper lip, they suppose, their own curling back to bare their fangs. The English always did like to say they could stare death down with dignity.
Well.
Auri would see about that.
He keeps their gaze, and repeats, quietly, "It's just a nightmare."
The words are a plea.
The little girl hesitates, then closes her window, and Auri lifts their chin, listening to the faint sound of her little footsteps as she races down the hall to wake her poor dear mum, so soon to find her darling husband dead in the garden.
"Please," He says, softly, putting his hands up to them. Harmless, unarmed, whatever he thinks might engender pity - but they are far too old and merciless for that. This is far too fun a game. "Please, let this be only a dream-... please don't hurt my wife-... my daughter-"
He backs directly into Erich, a solid steady weight. As hard to move from his place as any tree.
When the man spins around with a cry of alarm, Auri leaps.
Their hands curl around his once-strong biceps, their fangs bury into his shoulder, right through the thin fabric of his nightshirt when they misjudge the spot. They spit cotton and have to pull back and grab and tear it right down the seam before they can bite him again, ignoring Erich's mocking laughter as they pull heavy blood thick with gin, laden with overwhelming cheap false juniper, from the wounds they've made.
"What a mighty hunter you are," Erich teases, cruelty in his gaze, watching as they pull the man to his knees in the grass, dew soaking into every ounce of clothing both of them wear. He only watches - his own eyes sparkle bright while he waits.
"Killed you easily enough," Auri hisses, blood smeared around their mouth in a horrific pantomime of lipstick before they lower their head to drink again.
He snorts. "I was not in my right mind at the time."
"Are you ever?"
They take their fill, then rip out his throat just to see the last spray of life's blood before the body goes still. They stand, slowly, swaying from side to side. They're spinning with the gin he'd had in his veins, and the empty bottle lies on its side not far away. The smile they give Erich is loose, and they exhale in a sound not quite unlike a moan.
"Drunk," They say, as if discovering a new revelation.
"I'm shocked to hear it," He replies, kicking the dead man onto his back to see the way his eyes are still white-rimmed in horror. "He smells like a liquor store." Lights come on in the house behind them, cries for the father and husband who now cannot hear them. The little girl and her mother. Auri licks their lips, only to see Erich shake his head.
For once, they listen, and wonder who else, in other yards, is out in the middle of the night for the taking.
"I wanted children," Erich says suddenly, looking in the direction of the door, as if he will simply stand here and wait for it to be open. "Before the war. Before I fought, before everything around me died. I wanted children, and a family, and-"
"And I wanted to study with Botticelli," Auri replies, grabbing him by the hand and tugging him away. "You see how our dreams come true."
He can't resist their wants - he follows them all but helplessly, and they giggle as they hear the first screams when the man's body is found.
"Tell me he was wicked," Erich says, in a burst of earnest and sudden self-disgust. "This man I helped you to kill. Tell me he was wicked, like the others have been."
Auri is silent, focused on trying to walk steadily when their blood seems to slosh like the last of a bottle in a bar passed around the regulars. They make it to the road at the end of the drive before Erich spins them around, puts his hands to either side of their face, and looks them in the eyes.
"Tell me he was wicked," He whispers. "Evil. Tell me he deserved to die."
Auri stares right back, then leans forward and kisses him, opening their mouth until he licks the blood back off their lips, until they feel him shudder, his dead body coming to life. "He was evil," They say, only slurring their words a little. "And he deserved t'die. Better?"
"Are you lying?"
"Does it matter?"
He growls and they bark laughter right back, pulling him across the road and into someone else's yard, shoving him onto his back on the ground and climbing on top of him, straddling his thighs with their knees on either side.
"Auri-"
"Sssshhh." They press a finger to his lips, looking up to listen as the sounds of sirens begin to wail in the distance, coming ever closer. "We're going to listen to their agony, Erich., as they see him."
"I don't want to hurt innocent people-"
"But you will." They pull his head down to their neck, feel the way he starts to open his mouth by instinct before, with difficulty, he manages to pull it back again. "No. Nein. I said drink."
"You didn't say-"
"I say it now. Drink."
Their fingers bury into his short dark hair, the occasional hint of gray showing through. "When Irish hearts are happy," They sing in a whisper against his ear as his teeth just barely graze their skin, fighting with all he has, "all the world seems bright and gay..."
"You are not Irish," He hisses back. The fresh blood in them smells maddeningly good, though, they can tell - his mouth is watering, his pupils widening, overtaking his iris and lust is overwhelming all his silly remaining morality. Their commands are overriding any hint he has of an ability to control himself. "We are both German."
"No such thing as Germany when I was born," Auri says, laughing again. "We are both dead, Erich, and that is all that matters. Feed from me, meine Liebe-"
"Don't call me that." He hissed and then gave in.
He bit into them viciously, tearing open the side of their neck, and they had to muffle their cry of pleasure with a fist shoved into their own mouth as the stolen blood burst free to fill his.
Even still, they heard from across the street a woman's anguished voice call, "Did you hear that sound?"
They almost can't help the laughter, even as Erich's hands make quick work of their jeans, yanking them down their hips and discarding them to one side, his own pants pulled halfway down his thighs while he still has his fangs buried in their neck.
"For your smile is a part of the love in your heart," they sing in a half-whisper as they spread their legs for him.
"Shut up," He growls, as they lock their ankles behind his back and jam their heels into his skin.
"And it makes sunshine even more bright-"
He jams his hand over their mouth to stop them, and they bite those fingers hard until he groans and lets go again, both of them smeared in red, moving in unison.
They'd been ready for him from the second they had bitten the poor asshole who'd had the bad luck to have insomnia too close to a hungry monster.
By the time he starts to lose himself, hips rocking with abandoned thrusts that would have broken the living, both of them are purring and he has their hands in his, shoved above their head. Their fingers brush a dandelion, yellow as the sun even in the darkness. Friction rubs, pleasure building and building, coiling a spring that soon must snap.
They come with a burst of laughter, and though he glares his body follows their commands effortlessly, even the wordless ones, and he finishes inside them.
Across the street, their laughter drifts, sparkling and brilliant as shards of glass waiting to be stepped on. Men and women standing around a corpse look up, and then run towards it.
The police find nothing but the impression of a human figure in wet grass, and blood from the dead man across the street spilled on the ground.
And also a pair of discarded, forgotten jeans.
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@mylifeisonthebookshelf @insaneinthepaingame @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @finder-of-rings @newandfiguringitout @astrobly @endless-whump @pretty-face-breaker @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @doveotions @boxboysandotherwhump @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @downriver914 @whumptywhumpdump @whumpiary @orchidscript @nonsensical-whump @outofangband @hackles-up @thefancydoughnut @evermetnotforgotten @wildfaewhump come get y’all nonbinary whumper
#whump#nobinary whumper#auri saathoff#erich eeten#vampire whump#vampire whumper#dubcon touch#dubcon kiss#dubcon tw#vampire fiction#horror writing#horror fiction#so was the guy evil?#YOU DECIDE#(no he was not)#blood drinking tw#dubcon spice#it's kind of consensual?#oh erich#I mean it's like 90% consensual but there's Context#sadistic whumper#creepy whumper#intimate whumper#vampires#vampirism#drunkenness tw
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As a Marxist, I am drawn to neat materialist arguments. Race, as ethnic studies scholars Michael Omi and Howard Winant point out, is material project, constructed as a means to legitimate and organize slavery and Indian Removal, while simultaneously enfranchising a white body politic. And Brodkin follows this thesis: in the meta-organization of capital, as Jews ascended from the proletarian ranks of immigrant labor to the middle class, like other white ethnics, so too did their racial classification. In this post-war context, organizing as Jews makes as much sense as organizing as Slovaks or Russians; one misses the forest for the burning crosses.
The trouble of course, with this materialist analysis is the stubborn persistence of antisemitism, its discursive nature, its location in political rather than strictly economic projects. Just as “American Jews celebrated the postwar consensus,” enjoyed their “integration into the suburbs” and found “common ties” with their new often white, Christian neighbors as historian Marc Dollinger describes, the greatest antisemitic purge of the 20th century was taking place in the United States–the Second Red Scare.
Discourse–even tropes shall we say–of the Judeo-Bolshevik aside, the proof is in the numbers: two-thirds of those questioned in the 1952 McCarthy hearings were Jewish, despite Jews accounting for under 2 percent of the American population. Congressman John Rankin delighted in “unmasking” the Jewish names of Hollywood actors and directors while under HUAC investigation, and of course, the only two people ever executed on federal espionage charges during the Cold War, the Rosenbergs, were Jewish. My own grandparents, Jewish members of the Communist Party, referred to the Red Scare as an American pogrom.
(...)
But this brings me to my final point, which is rather personal. Jews are physically harmed by this discourse. While the Responsa claims that antisemitism is “rare,” one wonders for whom. I did not grow up in a big city or central suburb. As one of the few Jews in my small California town, I heard antisemitic slurs on a regular basis, swastikas were routinely painted on the one area temple, I had a swastika carved into my locker. I was chased by baseball bat wielding skinheads and saved from a certain beating by white nationalists only when the cops happen to bust up the illegal club I attended, scattering the crowd. The FBI tracked nearly 1000 antisemitic hate crimes in 2019, the last year for which there are easily accessible records. As an adolescent in rural California in the 80s and early 90s, antisemitism did not seem “rare” to me at all. But perhaps as Robert Warshow would have said 70 years ago, this is just another cliché.
Ultimately however, this not an academic, or even personal, debate: it’s a debate on movement strategy. Perhaps the writers of the Responsa are correct, and the Trump era is over, and the rise of the far-right was merely a blip on the orderly march toward liberalism. Perhaps we should all just go back to brunch. I would be happy if that were the case. But I am not so sure. Such predictions as Adorno warned toward the end of his life, are far “too contemplative.” This way of thinking he writes, “which views such things from the outset like natural disasters about which one can make predictions, like whirlwinds or meteorological disasters…already shows a form of resignation whereby one essentially eliminates oneself as a political subject.” We are political subjects in a world undergoing massive transformation–and the stakes are too high to be wrong. Targeting antisemitism is the work the Jewish left needs to be doing and is uniquely suited to do. The organizations doing so understand that it is intersectional, in coalition, building power on the left. It is an act of solidarity, not solipsism.
On Anti-Semitism and Left Strategy, Benjamin Balthaser
#antisemitism#socialism#found this perspective really good -- to jewish current's credit i do think they grappled more squarely with that contradiction than#benjamin says they did? but overall just really do believe in this framing and conclusion#its also just a shame that jewish leftists who have literally for decades been fighting holocaust denial are made invisible by this idea tha#* that (on the liberal side of things) that the only legit fight against antisemitism right now is against antizionism
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Who do you think is MTL into pegging? Somehow I think Jun and Woozi would be into that. I just want to see them be cute little subs begging for more
OH THIS IS A GOOD ONE ur thoughts on woozi are so interesting!!! personally i see him as one of the top doms in svt OOF but im def on board with jun
most
jun - i agree that he is the biggest sub in svt (tbh i think hes switch with a heavy sub lean, but i mean like 90% sub lol) and he’d agree to get pegged once bc u know hes just down for anything but hey! it feels good! and jun is such a good sub that’d he’d never refuse to take the strap on. straight king shit
mingyu - come on.
soonyoung
minghao - he’d have to really trust you but he’d enjoy it
seungcheol - i think cheol likes anal/ass play a lot and he understands a relationship has to be equal so if youre taking it up the booty so does he! but he really does enjoy it lol
seokmin
vernon
chan
seungkwan - for maknae line i think it’d just really intimidate them, but they’re not necessarily against it u know?
jihoon
josh - both josh and jihoon would just kinda be like uhhhhhh no? like they wouldn’t be into it imo bc theyre both doms and they just dont really like to be in subspace. but if you REALLY WANTED IT they’d do it like once or twice
wonwoo - hell no. over his dead body. he’s one of those mfs that if you put ur fingers near his asshole he acts like the zombie apocalypse is gonna start or smth like calm tf down it’s just a finger! smh wonwoo big dick but wonwoo vanilla booty hole
least
lemme clarify for wonu’s tho that i mean that in the context of a healthy, consensual relationship. pls do not put ur fingers near someone’s booty hole unprovoked, kids
#ngl i laughed at wonwoo's for like 5 minutes LMAO#im funny sometimes lol#seventeen mtl#svtredroom#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen scenarios#svt scenarios#seventeen imagines#svt imagines#seventeen#svt#scoups smut#seungcheol smut#jeonghan smut#joshua smut#jun smut#junhui smut#soonyoung smut#hoshi smut#wonwoo smut#jihoon smut#woozi smut#minghao smut#the8 smut#mingyu smut#seokmin smut#dk smut#seungkwan smut#vernon smut
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I’m a girl (18 now) who got exposed/addicted to pornography at a really young age, and I wanted to share my specific story on this blog so that the platform can get it out there.
Under the cut is my full story, and it’s a little long winded, so if you don’t want to read the whole thing, I bolded in purple the general topic/idea of that section. Just look for whichever of those interests you and the section will be about that. The first and last paragraph are good for context and end goal, though.
Thank you.
I don't fully remember my first exposure to porn. I know I was in third grade (6-7 yrs old, I had skipped a grade). The reason I had wanted to share my story, in fact, is because I don't see many stories with circumstances similar to mine. Most I see have at least one of the following 'modifiers', for want of a better word. Most I see have at least one of the following 'modifiers', for want of a better word. Most I see have at least one of the following 'modifiers', for want of a better word. 1. The person is a victim of CSA/grooming. 2. The person was at a generally pubescent age (~11-14). And/or 3. The person experienced porn as a quick disturbance. To be clear, these stories are as valid and important as mine, and I simply think more perspectives make evidence of the effects of porn more airtight. I've never been the victim of SA, harassment, or grooming, ever in my life. My story shows the effects of exclusively porn.
The first memory I can recall about this was actually the first time I got caught. I was 6 yrs old, and very into video games,so on this day, I was playing a 3D porn game on my crappy hand-me-down laptop. I kind of knew that what I was doing wasn't acceptable, so I was sitting in my room in the corner as far from my door as possible. My mom walked in so I just slammed the laptop shut because I wasn't that good at hiding things. My mom obviously asked what I was doing, and I tried to keep her from looking, but it was right there when she reopened it. This is where the battle of it begins.
From ages 6-14 I don't have a good timeline of events but a few pop out that exemplify the severity of the issue. These are very probably out of order.
I got an iPod Touch for Christmas (~6-7), and every night I would watch porn on it until they caught on. I literally still remember some names of the sites, most that don't even exist anymore. My parents have always been amazingly caring. I couldn't ask for more. During the earlier ages (~6-8) I was put with a child therapist for fear of a deeper issue. My parents started either taking technology away in the night and/or setting restrictions on the internet. Unfortunately, between my slight tech-savvy, and my crazed addiction at this point, this wasn't a solution.
The addiction got DEEP. It warped my brain. When I had no technology, I used everything I could find.
Whenever I had access to less restricted internet, I used it. Once I asked my older cousin to use her iPod and watched it on there.(she noticed and told my mom. I remember my mom had asked me "Is there anything you need to tell me?", and I knew what she meant, but I just said "nope!" and walked away. At one point my dad's work provided him with a Blackberry, and I asked him could I play one of the built in little games. Once I had it, I watched porn. (when I gave it back to him he pressed the "back" button, and I was caught.)
I used Youtube. This was when YouTube was way less moderated (back when the app was a little old timey TV). I learned I could look up "striptease" and "nip-slip" and other stuff like that, finding more soft-core videos that could suffice when the internet in general was locked down.
I straight-up found out ways to disable the restrictions. Once I found out my mom's PIN for the controls, I went and disabled them, but changed the PIN so it would look like they were still on, and so that she couldn’t access and re-enable them. (I made it 7399. Spells "sexy". My mind was a mess.)
My parents bought a book called "The Classical Tradition". I'm just learning now as I'm looking it up that it was a Harvard Reference Library book (probably why it was so damn thick) about ancient Greek and Roman culture. I didn't know that. I had realized that sprinkled throughout the book there were pages that were more glossy than the rest, which you could see from the sides of the pages (the book was HUGE). These were the photo paper, which had the classical paintings and sculptures. And because these had nudity (Think "The Birth of Venus" type) I would regularly flip through this book when I needed a "fix". Absurd.
My parents got me an American Girl book that was made to ease worries about the developmental years. The pages on breast development / the anatomy of the vagina were what I looked at the most. When my parents had gotten me the child therapist, there was the logical fear that I might have been molested. The therapist gave me a book where there was a page with two cartoon mice, a boy and a girl. They were wearing swimwear/underwear and the point of that was "anywhere the clothing is covering is somewhere that adults can't touch you without telling.” They might as well have been stick figures, there was NO detail. But since they were in ‘underwear’ I'd always look at that page a lot. Anything barely vaguely sexual.
During this part of my life, I got no real pleasure out of this, I was just obsessed. For the first year I even watched it on mute out of fear of being caught. The lowest point during this period was when I very unfortunately filmed a video of me touching myself. I got nothing out of it and had no intent on ever sending or posting it. I was just emulating what I had been seeing. I deleted it the next day. I was 9 then.
From puberty until now (11-18) is when my sexuality was shaped by it. The addiction was far more controllable, I could spend a couple weeks to a couple months without it, but I'd always come back. Because it was now tied to my body. And while my need for it to be constant was gone, now I had to deal with the tolerance issue.
Over time what I watched became more and more depraved. I had the personal preference of hating anything amateur, because of the low quality, so I managed to avoid anything obviously non-consensual or involving visibly underaged girls, but that doesn't really mean much with the stuff the studios were putting out. During the middle points it got REALLY violent and disturbing. Bordering on torture (extreme kink) and even bodily deformation. As a young woman, I couldn't really tolerate any of the role based Kinks (father-daughter, babysitter, schoolgirl), so more extreme for me meant more extreme acts. Just absolute destruction of women's bodies for the purposes of sex. I moved away from that when tumblr banned porn and I started using reddit for it, and also during that time I was realizing how fucked up of an addiction that this was, even before I found feminism/anti-porn. I actively started trying to quit it, for good. But I always went back.
One big effect is heavy confusion with my sexual orientation. A lot of people face this, but the addition of porn for me really throws things off. Like: Am I bi, and a form of comphet/denial/inexperience keeps me from seeing women in a romantic way? Is it a mix of that and porn? (relatively likely) Or am I just straight, and the porn has completley shaped my mind (likely). 90% of the time I watched solo female content or lesbian content, and could only stand to watch certain specific forms if it included men at all. In real life I find a fair amount of men attractive but their bodies in a sexual sense are tolerable at best, but usually cringe inducing. l've never been attracted to a woman romantically, but exclusively women's bodies are sexual to me. It feels like everything in my brain that I would have been able to use in order to figure myself out has been permanently overwritten with incorrect information. Because of porn.
I've still got it bad. Every once in a while, I’ll read something vaguely sexual, or see a woman in a risque photo, and then the seed is planted. I'll always say "I'm not going to do it, I always feel disgusting after, it’s not even really enjoyable at this point, I can do better than this”. I always give in the end of the night. I'm 7 days off of it. I've been on this earth for 18 years. 12 of those years I've been cripplingly addicted to pornography. Two thirds of my life, and for as long as I can remember. I can never undo it. Just like an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic, only able to achieve remission, I will always be a porn addict. I have to be careful. But I have to hope for the future. And with finding the community that is speaking the truth about this, I'm heartened to do better. To no longer be held down by an addiction to consuming my own oppression.
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Jaime’s not a rapist, so stop claiming he is
I got this ask last year about forgetting that Jaime raped Cersei in the show, and in the comments someone recently said this:
Book Jaime also raped Cersei. Jaime is a rapist.
To which I replied:
no, actually, he didn’t. their relationship plays with consent within its confines but it’s consensual all the way. Jaime’s a lot of shitty things but a rapist he is not.
Then, that person said:
Cersei saying no and Jaime having sex with her anyway definitely seems like rape to me, whether she gave in at the end or not since we don’t see it from her perspective. And there’s also her thinking of Jaime as a “man not to be denied” who will take what he wants no matter how many no’s he hears until she’s saying yes as well. Which sounds less like kinky sex and more like coercion to me.
Me:
if you think Jaime’s the one coercing Cersei in their relationship then I suggest you do a good long in-depth reread of the books. GRRM literally *didn’t write them as rape scenes*. It’s a dynamic in their relationship that plays with consent but *it’s just pretend*. If Cersei genuinely meant no, she would 1000% make it clear & Jaime would respect that. (Which Cersei *doesn’t* do when Jaime says no, choosing to insult him. Again: reread the books please.)
What I mean by “[i]f Cersei genuinely meant no, she would 1000% make it clear & Jaime would respect that” is that she would walk away or push him away or use a safe word/phrase. And she wouldn’t just make it clear to Jaime, she’d make it clear to us, the audience.
Them:
“A hundred times I told him no, and he said yes,” the other woman told her, “until finally I was saying yes as well. He was not the sort of man to be denied.” “I know the sort,” the queen said with a wry smile. “Has Your Grace ever known a man like that, I wonder?” “Robert,” she lied, thinking of Jaime.
^^^^ That right there (and the infamous “no our dead son is right there and someone might see us” scene) reads like rape to me whether that was GRRM’s intention or not.
And what does “she would make it 100% clear” mean? Was Cersei not raped by her husband (the only other man she’d ever had sex with besides Jaime before the war starts)? I’m honestly confused as to what you’re trying to say here. Is Cersei too “strong” to be raped? Are you saying it’s not rape bc she didn’t fight harder? Bc you know women can be raped through coercion by their partners and not put up much of fight and that it’s still rape, right?
But this might just be a matter of different interpretations of the book so I’m gonna stop here. But it’s interesting that you immediately jumped to “If you think Jaime’s the one coercing Cersei” like where did I say that? They are both awful people and their relationship is toxic bc they’re both awful to each other.
When Cersei says no Jaime thinks it’s a game and fucks her anyway (with no confirmation of this on Cersei’s side), when Jaime says no Cersei mocks him but she does stop. She also physically assaults him. Is one better than the other? In my opinion, no.
My response:
dude. they’re NOT both awful to each other. don’t minimize the abuse Cersei’s put him through. Cersei coerced Jaime through sex to give up his claim to Casterly Rock and you want to tell me that something so subjective as Cersei saying no when [safe words] exist and the books were written in a 90s mindset is rape? Jaime’s not a rapist. you’re entitled to your interpretation, but that doesn’t make it right.
also, Cersei’s not a reliable source of information. she’s a narcissistic self-[aggrandizing] woman living in a stifling feudal society. it’s quite normal for 1) an abuser to twist the facts 2) a victim to try to reclaim whatever freedom they can in relation to the abusive relationship, whether they realize it’s abusive or not.
ALSO also, you literally said “[w]hich sounds less like kinky sex and more like coercion to me.” so don’t pull the “where did i say that you’re putting words in my mouth” shit on me. I’m tired of people like you thinking you can just spout lies about the books bc your progressive or something. time period context matters and so does educating yourself on abusive relationship dynamics.
We need to have a conversation about how to identify mutual abuse versus a victim of abuse fighting back. Jaime and Cersei’s relationship is not mutually abusive. Jaime is the sole victim. Does that mean he never did anything nasty to Cersei? No. But that doesn’t make him an abuser. Cersei manipulates him into giving up his claim on Casterly Rock; she belittles him after he loses his hand and cheats on him when she expects him to be faithful. Jaime never forces Cersei to give up anything. He never forces her into anything.
You cannot take their sex scenes away from the context of their relationship just to twist it to make Jaime a rapist. Their relationship lived on its illicit nature and playing around with power fantasies.
Studies have shown that victims of abuse may try to gain something back for themselves by turning their abuser’s tactics against them, but that doesn’t mean that they’re also an abuser. Jaime thinks of Cersei as a whore in AFFC because he’s hurt and using his abuser’s tactic of insulting him to fight back. Does that make it alright? No. Does this condemn him? No.
Everyone’s entitled to their own interpretation, but that doesn’t make it the truth.
#asoiaf#asoiaf meta#jaime lannister#cersei lannister#anti twincest#abuse#rape#tw abuse#tw rape#a song of ice and fire#meta
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