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toomanysurveys9 · 2 years

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How are you today? Not great. It’s been a really shitty week and I am really, really struggling emotionally and mentally. My cousin, Justin, killed himself this past week. I’m currently waiting for my brother to finish final touches on the slideshow video for his visitation and memorial service on Tuesday so I can help burn disks for my uncle to give to people... Do you have mean comments that replay in your head and haunt you? Yeah. ^If so, do you know why that is? I have a few guesses. What are you currently worried about, if anything? My family. Did you go Black Friday shopping this past Black Friday? I mean. I went to Best Buy with my brother, Jacob, and my kids but we didn’t actually shop.

^If so, what was the best deal you got? We didn’t shop. Have you ever been Black Friday shopping? Twice. It’s not my favorite. What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? My mom’s baked mac and cheese and my dad’s smoked turkey. Do you wear a watch every day? I was wearing my fitbit until my rats decided to eat the band because my mom put it where they could reach it. Pineapple or pepperoni? I don’t really like pepperoni much these days.. so pineapple. It’s good with ham and bacon. What food makes you feel nauseous? Seafood. Sushi. Have you ever seen a spirit? No.. When you have your own house someday, what color Christmas tree do you want and how will you decorate it? I liked white but it discolors so probably just stick to a fake green tree because I guarantee that Jake will not let us get a real one. Name 3 youtube channels you’ve been loving lately. I haven’t been watching youtube. Do you have a youtube channel? Not that I post videos on. ^If so, does your family approve? I don’t post videos, but if I did, I’m an adult so.. What do you think about the new “for kids” or “not for kids” rules? Doesn’t bother me. ^ Do they affect you? No. What is the most disgusting thing you have ever eaten? Shrimp from this one restaurant. I have never tried shrimp since. What food is so disgusting you could absolutely never eat it? Seafood. Do you like sushi? Nope. What color was the last sweater you wore? I wore a black hoodie with blue lettering. Name 3 material items on your wish list right now. Uh, the Mr. Coffee iced coffee maker. Laptop desk thing. The mood octopus plush thing cos it’s cute. Are you planning on doing Vlogmas (for youtube) this year? Nope. Have you ever done Vlogmas before? Nope. Have you ever made money off of youtube? Nope. Are you happy that the year is coming to an end? I don’t even care right now. Have you ever bought a designer purse? Nope. Not that into purses. Do people tell you that you look sick when you wear a certain color? Not that I can think of. ^If yes, what color? ^^^ Do you consider yourself creative? Sometimes. ….outgoing? Lol. No. ….shy? Yup. ….socially awkward? Yup. Do you often feel alone? Lately, yes. I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere with anyone.

What could be the theme song to your life? Right now.. something super fucking sad. Because that is my primary emotion. List three new songs you’ve discovered this year that you like a lot. Forever Winter by Taylor Swift was sent to me after my cousin killed himself. And I love it but it hurts my heart and also makes me think of my brother because he’s definitely been depressed ever since Jade decided she didn’t want to be part of our family anymore this past summer. That’s the only one coming to mind at the moment but I know there are more. If you could win a shopping spree in any store, what would it be? Barnes and Noble.

Do you wear jewelry often? I didn’t. But my mom ordered me a replica of the necklace Justin always wore and that’s gonna be staying around my neck except for showers. List 10 of your favorite girl names. Eliana, Nora, Willow, Evelyn,and Adalyn. I couldn’t come up with 10. List 10 of your favorite boy names. Wyatt, Oliver, Owen, Nikolas, and Alec. List 10 girl names (or up to 10) that you don’t really care for. I don’t want to. List up to 10 boy names that you don’t really care for. ^^^ How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? I don’t remember. Pretty young though. Because it was a rough year and my parents couldn’t really afford to give us much of a Christmas. It’s the only reason they told us. Do you own a Polaroid camera? No. I have a Canon Rebel T7. ^If so, what color is it? I don’t have one. List one past regret. Not talking to Justin more. Do you own Converse, and if so, what color? I have a black pair. What color was your senior prom dress? Kind of a dark red.. Are you colorblind? Nope. Name the people you know who are colorblind. I can’t think of anyone. What’s one pet peeve of yours? Jacob not helping with our dogs. Would you ever consider a career in writing? I honestly wouldn’t hate it. What was the first thing you wanted to be when you grew up? A country singer. What was your first favorite color? I honestly don’t remember. What is your favorite color now? Blue, black, and purple. Do you know a lot of people with the same middle name as you? Nope. Do you like the name Brynn? It’s okay. List five names you hate the spelling of. I don’t want to. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on youtube? No.

Do you watch Brooklyn and Bailey? No. ….Bethany Mota? No. ……Gillian Bower? No. ….LaurDIY? No. …..Family Fizz? No. ….Chronically Jaquie? No. Have you ever purchased a youtuber’s merch? Nope. ^If so, what did you buy? I haven’t..

#survey #surveys #personal #question #questions #random

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golbrocklovely · 4 years

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the chosen daughter // colby brock - chapter fourteen

A/N: sorry this took a long time to make. work has been kicking my ass recently and i’ve had like no time off. i finally get one after today so that’ll be nice. i’ll try to write more when i can. thank you to everyone that was so sweet when i came back, yall are seriously the best. as a treat, a special something finally happens in this chapter. alrighty, enjoy and lmk what you think !!

story description

taglist: @far-to-many-bands , @idfk-tbh-oops , @muted-mayham , @ughwhyislifesohard , @justtanerd , @ashyoungxblood , @cmburgos

trigger warning: cursing, angst, mentions of a massacre, surprise ending 👀

word count: 2385

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, this is what you guys do when you have a day off? Lounge around and be lazy?” Tara huffed.

I glanced at all of us quickly. Sam and Kat were cuddled up on the end of the couch I was laying on. Jake was on the other, sprawled out, and Colby sat on top, his feet digging into the cushion where Jake laid his legs.

“What would you like us to do Tara?” Colby deadpanned.

“Well, I'm thirsty.” Tara turned to Jake, “Jakey, could you get me something from the fridge?”

“Get it yourself.” Jake mumbled, scrolling through his phone.

Tara barked. “Jake. Get me a blood bag and some vodka. I want to have a party.”

“You know if you're so thirsty, you could just drink from me.” Jake dared, getting up from the couch.

“No thanks. I'd rather drink from Sam than you. No offense, Kat.” Tara sassed, crossing her arms.

Kat shrugged. “None taken.”

“But Tara… that's not how it played out the last time.” Jake sang, smirking.

Tara punched Jake in the shoulder hard, all of us busting out laughing. Jake winced as he stumbled into the kitchen, digging in the fridge.

“Tara, you do realize it's only 3 in the afternoon. Ain't it a bit early to be drinking?” Colby stated.

“No. I'm just... pregaming.” Tara smiled innocently, sitting down where Jake had been.

Mike and Kevin busted through the door suddenly, slamming it shut and locking it hastily.

“Woah, where's the fire?” Sam broke in, sitting up with Kat in his arms.

“Go lock up the windows, Mike. I don't want there to be any way in.” Kevin motioned. Mike nodded his head, rushing to the windows.

“What's the problem?” Jake questioned.

“We just got word from a very reliable source that an elder is coming to LA.” Kevin informed.

“Are you sure it's not just Tara?” Sam asked.

Mike shook his head. “No one knows about her being an elder, so it can't be her.”

“How do you know your sources are telling the truth?” Sam slid out of Kat’s hold, standing up.

“Apparently, he already flew in a couple days ago. Some of our boys down at the airport saw him.” Kevin replied.

“Who?” Jake requested.

Kevin’s voice darkened. “It’s Rinaldi.”

I could feel everyone’s body stiffen at the name. Not a single breath was taken.

Tara’s eyes bore at the floor. “Well, I've just lost my appetite.”

“Wait, who's Rinaldi?” I puzzled, looking around at everyone.

Colby answered. “He's one of the most powerful elders. He was like the second or third vampire ever turned.”

Jake agreed. “He's fucking terrifying, bro. I heard if his eyes land on yours, he could make your head explode, spontaneous combustion style.”

“I'm surprised you know those words, Jake.” Tara joked, her voice remaining monotone.

“Okay, so he's a big deal. But why would he come here?” I doubted.

“Who knows? All I know is that him being even remotely near us isn't good news. So, we gotta take extra precaution. So Jade-” Sam began.

I held my hand up, finishing his sentence. “’Stay here for a while’…I might as well keep a bag here.”

“Or you could start paying rent.” Mike retorted calmly.

Colby scowled. “Me and Sam don't even pay rent.”

I rolled my eyes at Mike, turning back to everyone. “I know this might be a dumb question, but besides the fact that he is super strong, why is everyone scared of him?”

Mike sneered. “Tara. Do you have something to tell the class?”

“Fuck you, Mike.” Tara hissed.

“What is it, Tara? Do you know something?” I uttered, my voice weakening from my nerves.

Tara exhaled, her eyes on me. “Rinaldi is one of the worst vampires I know. He's the reason why the vampire population is so small.”

I furrowed my brow. “How does that make sense?”

“Back in 1872, he told a bunch of us elders that we should make a council, something to police the growing vampire population. He believed that a lot of vampires at the time were starting to get restless and wanted to come out to the public. The world was changing so fast, so they thought most people might be okay with vampires,” Tara chuckled sarcastically, her tongue clicking against her teeth. “I was against the council, mostly because I don't like running in groups and I hate authority. But also because that's not how most vampires felt. A lot wanted to stay hidden. But he made it very apparent that wasn't the case. So, the council was created. And by the summer of that year, the massacre happened.”

“A massacre?” I whispered, surprised.

“Rinaldi was working both sides. For some reason while creating the council, he was telling all the younger vampires that we elders were coming to attack them, take away their rights and kill them. He came at them as an elder against the council, when he was the whole reason it was a thing in the first place. The spirits are the ones who told me all of this, and I had warned that council that a war was gonna begin. They all laughed me off and told me I was lying. When the battle took place, so many vampires died, both elders and young. Our population went from over a thousand down all the way to a hundred. And of course, Rinaldi survived.” Tara fumed, her hands clenching harder with each word.

I gulped. “Holy shit.”

“After the massacre, every vampire that was left disappeared, moved away from each other. That way no one could attack them or know who they were. It wasn't until a hundred years later that the vampires that were still alive decided to start turning humans again.” Tara finished, relaxing her back against the couch.

Kevin nodded, crossing his arms. “I remember. It was a long time before I ever saw a vampire. I didn't even meet Mike until, what? 1982?”

My eyes widen. “Wait, Kevin, you were alive during the vampire massacre?”

“I fought in it. Or, was forced to. I was turned a year before the massacre.” Kevin recalled.

“And you two?” I glanced at Kat and Mike.

“Not until after. 1974.” Mike responded.

Kat chimed. “1983.”

Sam commented. “I'm dating a cougar.”

“Shut up.” Kat smacked his leg, a smile rising to his face.

“So that's why Rinaldi is terrifying. If he's here for some reason, it's not good. We have to be safe and stay as far away from him as we can.” Tara cautioned.

~ \/ \/ ~

After the lovely news of Rinaldi, I decided to take a nap before work, especially since now I was staying over the Trapp Haus longer than expected. When I finally woke up, I could hear the thumping of the club downstairs, but the rest of the apartment was silent. I slowly stumbled out of Sam's room, opening the door to the empty living space. The lights were dim, no one around.

“Hello? Anyone here?” I called out.

The continuous music from downstairs was the only response. I stared over at Colby's door, wondering if he was inside. I trudged over to his door, taking a deep breath.

“Colby?” I muttered.

Silence. I knocked three times, the door creaking open with the force of my hand.

I've never been inside his room before...

I flicked on the light, looking around at the unusual space. His room was a little messy, but nothing too crazy. His bed sheets and curtains were a dark black, his walls a deep shade of blue. A couple water bottles rested on his nightstand. His laptop sat haphazardly on his floor near his bed. His closet door was ajarred, clothes spilling out onto the floor.

“What are you doing in my room?”

I gasped, turning around to see Colby. His body was slightly tense, his eyes matching.

“Shit, sorry. I-I woke up and thought maybe you were in your room since no one was around.” I stuttered.

“I was downstairs helping Kevin get rid of an overly excited patron.” He revealed.

“Where's everyone else?” I queried, my arms crossing uncomfortably under his gaze.

“Sam and Jake are doing some research for a hunt. Kevin and Mike are downstairs, and Kat and Tara are out partying at Bloody.” He explained.

I bit my lip. “And you're here.”

“Someone has to protect you.” He remarked dryly, walking into the kitchen.

“Sorry.” I murmured.

“About what?” Colby glowered, leaning against the counter.

My eyes fell from his for a moment. “I mean, it's obvious that you don't want to be here... with me.”

Colby’s eyes softened as he fell silent, his hands holding the counter tight.

I turned to go back to Sam's room, only to be stopped by Colby's voice.

“That's not true. I like... having you around.” He interjected, “You have to know that.”

I exhaled, turning to face him again. I could feel my heart bang in my chest.

“You know, the other day there was this guy at my work, and he looked really sad. He and I got to talking and he asked me if I ever wanted something badly. Not something crazy hard to get, but something that's just out of my reach.” I stepped towards Colby, “And all I could think about was... you.”

Colby objected. “You shouldn't.”

“What? I shouldn't what?” I echoed.

“Think of me like that.” He shook his head.

“Why?” I demanded.

“Because I'm a monster. Do you know how easy it would be for me to lose control and kill you?” Colby threatened, closing the gap between us and getting in my face.

“You haven't done it before.” I argued.

Colby backed away at my words. “Yeah, but there's no guarantee that it won't happen. Plus, besides the fact that I crave your blood all the fucking time, I'm... a lost cause, Jade.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” I snapped, my hands resting on my hips.

“Whatever you think a relationship needs to have, you're not gonna get it from me. I'm damaged as hell. I trust little to no one. The kindness and love you deserve won't come from me. And you don't need something like that.” He scoffed.

“Then we take it slow, Colby. We don't have to fall headfirst into this. We can take our time. There is no time limit on this.” I ignored the aching memory in the back of my mind of Tara's reading.

“What makes you think I want to be with you anyway?” He jeered, his gaze pointing daggers at mine.

I growled. “Don't do that.”

“Do what?” Colby grunted.

“Try to be mean so you can push me away. I'm done walking on eggshells around you, Colby!” I exclaimed.

He groaned, racing to his room. “I-I can't do this right now.”

“I want you.”

He stopped abruptly, the muscles on his back tight.

“I want you, Colby. Even though you don't trust anyone, even though you could kill me. I still want you. I'm not gonna pretend I don't anymore.” I confessed.

He slowly spun around to look at me, his body rigid, eyes glaring.

“So, decide. Right now. Because I'm not gonna wait around forever.” I warned.

Colby bit his lips, staring at the ceiling. His hands twitched as he slid them across his face.

“I know you didn't lie that night we almost kissed. You're the one that said you wanted me close.” My voice fell to a whisper.

I could feel my face flush, my palms damp with moisture. I shuddered a breath as Colby looked into my eyes.

“You're right.”

He sighed deeply, shaking his head with a crooked smile.

“Fuck it.”

Colby raced up to me, smashing his lips onto mine as he thrusted me against his body. I immediately relaxed into him, my fingers finding their way into his hair to pull on his locks. I moaned against his lips as he picked me up easily, my legs wrapping around his waist. His hands gripped my thighs, bringing me over to the couch and placing us down. I straddled his lap, deepening the kiss as my tongue glided into his mouth.

He ripped his lips away, slamming them back down onto my neck. He kissed the hollow of my throat, his teeth scraping the skin, causing me to whimper in pleasure.

Colby pulled away suddenly, his breath coming out ragged as his hands clenched my waist hard. My eyes landed on his face, and a small gasp left my mouth. His crimson eyes stared back at me, dark black veins pulsing from under his eyes, his fangs protruding from his gums.

He stammered. “I-I'm sorry, I-I need to-”

“It's okay, Colby.”

I gently raised my hand to his face, watching for any sign of disapproval. My middle finger lightly traced the veins under his eyes, feeling them throb under my touch. Colby closed his eyes tight, allowing me to keep touching. His breaths slowed down, the veins disappearing. When he opened his eyes with an inhale, his eyes had returned to their intoxicating blue.

“Are you okay?” I asked quietly.

He nodded. “Yeah, I'm alright now.”

I leaned in and pecked his lips, breaking away only to see his reaction. He smiled lightly, his dimples surfacing sweetly.

My phone ringing broke me out of our trance. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and picked it up, noticing the time and who was calling.

I grumbled to Colby. “Shit, it's my boss.”

“Hey, sorry I'm-” I started.

Roger interrupted. “No need to come in now. One of our bathrooms overflowed and the whole place is flooded. It's gonna take a couple days to get fixed so, I'll see you next week at some point.”

“Oh, okay. See you then, Roger.” I hung up the phone, my eyes landing on Colby’s. “So, work’s cancelled for a while.”

“Well that's good.” He smirked.

“Why?” I questioned.

“Because then we can focus on more of this.”

Colby leaned in quickly, capturing my lips in a romantic kiss, instantly taking my breath away. I smiled against his lips, wrapping my arms around him again.

But even with my attention on Colby, my mind drifted back to Tara's words.

Please let her be wrong…

<< CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 15 >>

#colby brock #colby brock vampire #vampire #colby brock x oc #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock fic #colby brock fanfic #colby brock angst #the chosen daughter #colby brock story

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ancientguardians68 · 4 years

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Normal Guardian Day Part 1

Delta:Oh hey Reaper

Reaper:He- holy....D-Delta

Delta:Yeah? What? It’s a Great day today we Should go outside and Play games and Take a break!

Reaper:Uhhh yeah sure

Jake:Hey Reaper oh Hello Delta Nice shirt

*Delta Had a Shark Shirt*

Delta:Thanks I Like Sharks heh!

Nick:So what are we gonna do?

Hannah:Y-Yeah like we Haven’t done anything only Do missions

Delta:How About a time at the Park or the beach?

Jake:Sure? I mean Today we don’t have anything to do

Nick:So is that a yes that we Can go somewhere Relaxing?

Jake:Sure? I mean do you want to take our Companions as well?

Ben:Ohh it’ll be a great day if I relax and stretch and Swim!

Delta:You know how to swim?

Ben:Yeah when I was Little

Delta:Uh huh ok so When do we go?

Reaper:Right now if you want or you can stay and doing nothing for the rest of the day

Delta:Go to the Park and beach please I want to feel the sands!

Jake:Alright Come on

Hannah:First should we get our Clothing?

Jake:You may be Right let’s get our Clothing

*Everyone teleports Quick and Gets their Packs With a Bottle of water and Ben Is holding a Ton of Food and water//Ben is A wolf and Dragon and Tiger Hybrid//*

Jake:Everyone Ready?

Reaper:Yeah

Nick:Yes

Delta:Yea

Hannah:Y-Yeah

Ben:All Ready!

Reaper:Wait what about the Others?

Jake:If they want to join us they can Teleport

*Jade was packed and also did Dawn Teleported Next to Ben*

Jade:We’re going too!

Dawn:Yeah I’m very bored

Jake:Alright is That Everyone?

*Jason, Kale, Hunter, And Karly Teleports next to Reaper*

Jason:We’re Going too

Jake:It’s a Party then! Let’s go!

*The Park and Beach were Very close so The Guardians were just walking for 5 minutes and they saw the sun was Shining and there were Some Clouds but just clear ones and the Beach was Refreshing as the sand was Cool Ben Stretches and Puts down all of the Equipment for cooking and all of the food*

Jake:Mmmmm Feels nice

Kale:Hey Can Dark-

Jake:I dunno If they want or if you want to invite them, it’s a great Time for a Beach and Fun day!

Kale:Alright!

Karly:LETS GET CRAZY FUN!!!

*Layla teleports Next to Ben*

Layla:Oohh The beach finally!!

Karly:Come On!! This is fun!!

*Jake Builds a Statue made of Hardened Sand*

Reaper:Nice!

Jake:Yup

Reaper:Ultra Sunscreen?

Jake:I got a Extra Large Bottle Yeah

Reaper:Good So Does This beach have....

Jake:Creatures? Rarely There’s no Sharks only Ultra Friendly ones I’ve seen Fish they’re Harmless and Tasty!

Reaper:Wait what about Scuba Gear?

Jake:Don’t need em Remember? I got a Ability that I can Give Anyone or everyone Water Breathing You can breathe underwater for unlimited time!

Reaper:That’s Good

Jake:And of course you can talk underwater!

Reaper:Cool with me! Hey the water is cooling!

Jake:That’s Great!

On the Next part!!

#ocs #ocs talk #jake #reaper #Delta #Normal Guardian Day #part 1

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d-criss-news · 4 years

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There's an interesting idea at the heart of Hollywood, the new Netflix series from Ryan Murphy and Gleeco-creator Ian Brennan: What if it had gone down differently?

It takes a couple of episodes for the disorienting radicalness of this premise to gel, largely because, at the start at least, we're thrust into a reality that's fairly close to actual reality — characters based on real people mingle with characters made just for the show. We meet Ernie (Dylan McDermott), who operates a gas station that's also a brothel serving Hollywood's elite and wealthy who are in the closet. (That really happened.) Jack Costello (David Corenswet), a (fictional) rookie actor looking to get his big break, takes a gig at the whorehouse, and it's there that he meets (fictional) aspiring screenwriter Archie (Jeremy Pope), whose skin color and sexual orientation make his dreams impossible. Across town, we peek inside the studios that make motion pictures, and get to see the racism, blackmail, down-low sex, nepotism, and patriarchal oppression that greases the wheels in Hollywood.

But as the story unfurls and more characters enter the equation — including (fictional) aspiring director Raymond (Darren Criss), (real) closeted sleazy agent Henry Willson (Jim Parsons), (real) actor Rock Hudson (Jake Picking), and (fictional) black actress Camille (Laura Harrier) — the story slips deeper and deeper into fantasy. Without giving too much away, all these people become enmeshed in a plot to make a movie about Peg Entwistle, the (real) actress who jumped to her death from the Hollywood sign in 1932, but they're stalled by prejudice and rules that keep LGBTQ people and folks of color locked out of the system.

Midway through the season however, winds blow in such a way that Avis (Patti LuPone) — the pampered, sexually frustrated wife of a studio head — becomes the studio head and dynamic changes take place. Despite being a tough, jaded broad immune to emotion, she gradually becomes a champion for other women, for people of color, and for the gay people in her orbit. Hollywood climbs further and further into unbelievability as the minutes tick by, and by its crescendo, the "losers" get the wins they deserved. Like Glee, Hollywood puts outcasts at the forefront. It's wish fulfillment porn, and, particularly in the back half, such an incredulous utopia that it seems absurd and perhaps a little frustrating.

But I came to realize that there's a reason Hollywood's fantasizing sometimes feel hard to swallow: We are jaded. We're so accustomed to injustice and the powers that be crushing little people, that challenging the idea of "that's just the way things are" is threatening, even in revisionist fiction. Scripted drama is, by definition, unrealistic; for factual accounts, we read books or watch documentaries. Usually when Murphy revisits the past — The People v. O.J. Simpson; Feud; The Assassination of Gianni Versace — the material looks for insights we might've missed that are relevant now. Hollywood asks us to think about how we all might be better today had the past been different. It's odd but daring storytelling, but, hey, if you've got the creative freedom and reserves of cash only Netflix can offer, why not experiment? Lord knows there are enough ordinary shows to watch, if that's what you want.

Not all of Hollywood goes down smoothly: The natural by-product of all this goodness means giving up some tension, and stakes. But it's certainly endearing, and entertaining — particularly when you howl at Parsons' shocking dialogue, coo over the exquisite costumes, and see LuPone do her thing. (All the actors, it must be said, are competent and strong — they have to be, to pull off something so unusual.) As Murphy knows firsthand, the TV and movie industries only just started showing any real efforts toward inclusivity; we only saw a major film starring a black superhero two years ago. Hollywoodis a retro fairy tale — a progressive, partly preposterous semi-lucid dream in which the underdogs actually win. It's unbelievable but sumptuous, just like all fairy tales should be.

TV Guide Rating: 3/5

Hollywood is now streaming on Netflix.

#darren criss #tv guide #hollywood #hollywood review #hollywood spoilers #just in case anyone can't watch #press #may 2020

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abundantchewtoys · 4 years

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Homestuck^2 re: Chapter 8 “A Daughter Astray”

So, I thought of something. John positively losing it at a silly picture and letting go of some pent up stress in the process. It reminds me of Dave's reaction in the Game Over timeline to his old pictures in his room.

I wonder if Harry Anderson will try to apologize to his father for the events next time they meet, only for John to let him know how proud he is of him, helping his friends like that. :P

Now, let's see what Rose and Kanaya were up to on the battlefield, while Vrissy was getting acquainted with Vriska.

I'm also wondering whether Vrissy will realize what a bad influence Vriska is, what a risk she is to her relationships with Tavros & Harry Anderson. And whether the thrill she brings outweighs those risks. Also, I wonder if Vrissy knows about her cerulean blood mindcontrol powers?

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Page 192

Ah, first to the reactions about the astray SON.

Oh, brain ghost Dirk.

Huh, so I guess Jake's attempts at espionage weren't that succesful yet.

Who in heck is Jane talking about that abondoned her, though, in the context of her son being kidnapped. She can't really feel "betrayed" by the trolls opposing her, can she?

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Page 193

Sooo... Were the kids followed to Roxy's place? Maybe that getaway car really WAS too obvious.

Also, heh, Earth C has its own author "Steven" King, and his book about clownkiller kids is soaring to new heights in the charts because of current events, heheh.

And there Jane goes, she HAS the delusions. Really, she's convinced herself of being right and now everything is the others' fault due to being wrong.

Why, she's even so far gone, she thinks that equivalent retribution is a thing a good leader would do...

You know, I was kind of theorizing the new teens & Vriska would play a session of Sburb to escape Earth C, but it was kind of always looking like a far out idea. A way for them to connect to the session on Deltritus, in the Meat path. But now... Yeah, I wonder if the rebellion's going to be in time to save them.

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Page 194

CCOOOOOOOOL new theme here.

It reminds me of the split pages during the B2 kids time recovering from the Trickster Mode, with the 45° ==> arrows.

So, yeah, I was thinking Harry Anderson was cumbersome to type everytime, too. Glad Vriska and Vrissy have separately come to the same conclusion. :P

And heheheh, Vriska's presence is shining a light on the thing John was saying all along, that nothing really feels REAL about the Candy Earth C.

So it would almost seem as if the teens might actually leave and find a more "real" version of their parents or something. By playing Sburb. Though wouldn't they like, miss their adult guardians?

Still, cool to get some insight into Harry and Vrissy here. He's always seen an invisible border between the past achievements of his parents and their friends and their current situation. But Vriska is forcing him to acknowledge it's all more real and closer to home than he might be comfortable with.

Meanwhile Vrissy is going through the weird situation where she's jealous of anyone getting Vriska's attention.

And Tavros has shown to be a good supportive partner. Though I still don't really get how their kismesittude works in other ways. How does Vrissy get under his skin, for instance?

Also, it's hilarious to see how badly Harry misjudges his Dad, just like the previous generation once used to do. I really just want to hear John say how proud he is of him now, both for the emotional punch and the hilarious reaction Harry's going to have.

Also, good to see 23 years have done nothing to cool Roxy's affection for all things feline.

And it was cool to see Harry go in one conversation from John-esque "there's this scene in the beginning" to Dave-esque metaforgotten similes. Heredity at its finest.

Right, so, that reminds me. Harry is Dave and Rose's half-brother, let that sink in for a bit. And Tavros is genetically his uncle.

---

Page 195

Hahahahahahahahah Oh yes.

Oh HELL yes.

I thought I might have actually been projecting this, but it's LITERALLY the first thing John says to Harry. And in all caps (cause shouting), just like Dad used for his notes. Perfection.

But, pfffffff, okay, just like the father in a comedy, he misinterpreted the events and thought Harry was trying to prank him, oh my god. He literally saw Gamzee's death as part of a prank or something, heeheeheeh.

"JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along. JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being. JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later. JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today. HARRY: dad... if you wanted me to KILL tavros, you only had to ask. TAVROS: (Um,,,) HARRY: couldn't resist."

I didn't really think pranks were Harry's shtick, but his sarcastic jab at Tavros' expense near the end proves me wrong. So John seems to be saying he's in cahoots with Jake, they're probably chatting covertly.

But actually, considering Jane's Dad is dead, John actually made a bit of a bad joke there, even if he probably doesn't know about Jane's Dad's death.

---

Page 196

Okay this? John being his son's partner in crime? This is great.

And eesh, I thought for a minute it was Karkat or an undercover troll outside, but it's a member of Jane's secret police.

So, Harry and his friends have to make a getaway before the drones arrive. Reminds me of how they came for Dirk in B2 Earth's future.

And yup, that bell tower is a real prominent place, isn't it? And for some reason... For some reason, it must be close by to Roxy's house. Even though, I'd wager she and Harry moved to live in the human kingdom, after Roxy sided with Jane. The school was a human school, for one. And the bell tower's part of the carapace kingdom! Huh.

Somehow, I think their distraction is going to be a bit bigger than Jade's "OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT *points*", but you never know. :P

---

Page 197

So majestic. They're most DEFINITELY not standing agape looking at the picture making the rounds.

You know, the fact that you don't SEE the hustle & bustle around them reminds me of Ed, Edd 'n Eddy, where no other people than the main cast were ever shown besides some silhouettes & limbs.

The fact that the Maryam-Lalondes are a beacon is so deliciously punderful. Light and Luminiscence. Also, actually, it's good to learn how they're in fact more of a symbol as well, through their union as troll and human.

---

Page 198

Oh my god they're freaking out, but as mature adults. Rose's hair is cut short, wow.

So they don't have eyes in the human kingdom. And Kanaya can't even savour the death of Gamzee now. Rose finds her Light powers lacking, but that's just because of the timeline they're in - though I suppose they must work some of the time for her to still rely on them.

So, I do wonder how Kanaya and Rose are going to cope with the fact that the one they're idolized in a sense, by naming her daughter after her, is now back in the flesh. They'll have to deal with the realities of a living, breathing, fucking-things-up Serket.

Hah, another new named troll. Alfonz, heheh. One of Nepeta's blood type, it seems.

I wonder if it's news from Karkat or John. The distraction might be under way, so that's why none of the kids are replying.

---

Page 199

Oooooh, Blaperile has a good point, this is probably Jade coming back from the reconnaissance, bearing Dave's dead body presumably. D:

... I wonder if they're going to pin this on the humans, for want of evidence to the contrary. Seems like a good way for things to start escalating even further.

Meanwhile, it appears Alfonz' quirk favors the A and Z.

Kanaya kind of looks like the Dolorosa now from behind.

---

Page 200

Seems like Jade was wearing an Iron Lass - ish outfit. Sorry Alfonz, you're about to be forcibly removed.

---

Page 201

Okay no, that isn't an armour. Her gloves' colour remind me of Grimbark Jade. And that commando outfit reminds me of an old sprite edit I made of a GI Jade, heheheheheheh.

---

Page 202

Wait, huh? I could have SWORN Dave would have been found right now. So, what does that... mean? Didn't Dave's ascension take place yet???

... It seems then that Jade was sent to retrieve Vrissy and the others, but she was too late?

Blaperile has a good theory - perhaps Jade was pulled away from her mission with Dave, and just texted him as she left, thinking he'd read her message shortly thereafter.

Crack theory: Jane's forces caught A Vriska, just not the one they were sent after. :P

---

Page 203

... WAIT WHAT???

WHO THE HECK IS---

Did Jade and Dave actually ADOPT a kid and called it Yiffy???

Please just be a dog, please just be a dog, please just be a dog.

... Unless it's a real punderized name for Vrissy. Ugh, god.

---

Page 204

Glad to see we are all in agreement with Rose and Kanaya here.

---

Page 205

Ah. Okay, so we're doing this again. Jumping back to Vriska when things are angling for an explanation. Sure. :P

Well, okay yeah, at least we know Yiffy isn't any of these kids then.

Vriska's looking bored. That's not good.

---

Page 206

Wow. Okay yeah, we're getting to some juicy bits here.

Harry desperately wants to reconnect with John. And he is sucking up his father's "BELIEF" in him like it's nobody's business. (Kind of a Jake thing to do.) Vrissy correctly assesses that John's advice wasn't great and that John is not being a good adult, but she's wrong that John is to blame for Tavros' hangups. Meanwhile we're getting some good black vibes from Tavros now, as he gets flustered at Vrissy using his baggage to win an argument. And on another note, Harry rescents Tavros' mom, but in the process has made Tavros out to be a snob or something, which he clearly isn't and which Vrissy calls him out on.

But Vriska couldn't care less about any of their shit. :P

---

Page 207

Ahahaahah. Okay, actually, Vriska is a lot better at assessing their situation than I'd thought she'd be. Didn't think she cared enough to notice some of this stuff.

Her calling out Harry on not being grateful for John is weird. Maybe she meant it as in - this planet is fucking pointless but John still loves you.

Hah, but her calling herself an adult - she's just as old as them.

Coooooooool, though. Harry's getting a strife specibus! Yeah, so, they all must have sylladices, but apparently no strife specibii.

I do wonder what in god's name he could weaponize from his room. Does he end up with Shoekind? Shoes seem at least like they could do some damage, better than scarves at least.

---

Page 208

OMG.

Actual Honest To God Chumhandles!!! Hahahahaahhaahahhah.

I guess it was because we're back in Act 1 shenanigans that it was finally time to reveal them? Awesome, Harry's the same's as Dave & Roxy, TG, and Vrissy has, of course, Vriska's.

So I suppose Tavros' chumhandle will contain a C. I don't remember Tavros Nitram's chumhandle of the top of my head, but that seems legit. Oops, no, adiosToreador, my bad.

So... Harry COULD end up with sewing equipment as his strife specibus, but that seems like a red herring. All those shoes are poking my eyes out.

---

Page 209

Yeah, them needles are way too small for a strife specibus.

Although scissors, hmmm, that could actually work and be interesting as he upgrades them!

Reading Vrissy and Harry arguing here, I'm reminded of Dave pestering John to apply something to his strife specibus.

---

Page 210

Oh hell yes, second person narration. :D

(Wonder what his sylladex modus is.)

---

Page 211

Oh hell yes, this list :D

---

Page 212

Awesome callback to John's first reaction on creating hammerkind.

Awesome to see the return of all this early-act vocabulary and imagery.

Hah! Harry was even about to say "you have a feeling it's going to be a long day", pffffff. Nice.

---

Page 213

Oh my god.

So I suppose this page was preceded with a break between updates, cause Vriska's feeling like she's been stuck here for a month.

I think Tavros already has a strifekind bought for him by Jane. And Vrissy definitely has one already too, since she apparently has all those weapons in her room.

Vriska's so confident she can just waltz out of here. Okay, with ALL the luck on her side, and her rocket boots, that might actually be true.

Blaperile theorizes the other kids will use HER as the distraction but have to strife against some Crocker Cops to get away. Maybe it'll be drones though. Of course, I wonder what he could do--- Hey, maybe there's actually a hedge scissors in the house! He could equip that! They have that nicely trimmed bush out in the front yard, so yeah, that could work!!!

---

Page 215

....

........

Yes I suppose there really was no way she was going to actually RELIEVE the situation.

She's appalled that the paradise she helped create didn't have the decency to be an actual paradise. I follow her way of thinking. But yeah, she's not being a mature adult about all this, that's for sure. Although it is true it's insane the people of Earth C actually believed in Gamzee. And from Vriska's perspective, there's no one that came closer to killing LE than she, so I'm not even really mad at her for believing it.

---

Page 217

Ooooooh boy. Now we'll see if she still has any luck on her side. That's a sniper homing in on her throat!

---

Page 218

Oh geez. That didn't seem like it graced her.

So yeah. Her god tier judgment.

Heroic because she was trying to be a saviour? Just because Just Vriska? Or neither because irrelevant Candy Earth C?

---

Page 219

Oooooh snap. It went through her shoulder.

And now she's REALLY had it. Oh snap.

Is this picture by the way showing on a computer screen? The way the top is coloured in a blueish hue... Jane is watching.

---

Page 220

Uhm...

This for another SBaHJ interlude?

No, really, she's not using her dice, so... What's a snap going to do?

---

Page 221

Ooooooh, RIGHT!!!!

Yeah, this would definitely get some people on her side, revealing herself as a god tier.

Also, it would serve as a good reminder to Jane that she can't just have a random sniper shoot her and think she'll stay dead.

---

Page 222

Oh hell yes. This works so well, describing this scene instead of showing it.

Vriska is absolutely terrifying when she cuts loose. At least she didn't kill anyone (that we know), not even in retribution. And because the kids were on her side, they shared in ALL THE LUCK, fortunately.

Right, so Tavros actually has more stamina than Harry, makes sense with Jake for a dad. And Vrissy is so enamored with Vriska's coolness, it's definitely going to become a Thing someone has to address at some point.

---

Page 223

There John is!

I didn't think the tower looked like it was built from lime, in my mind, actually. But yeah, I guess not EVERYTHING in the carapace kingdom can be coloured gold and/or purple, right?

---

Page 224

Hey, he has his god tier outfit back on! And Vriska's coming over to greet him!

... Is it me, or is the outfit grown too short, since I can see his waist? :P

---

Page 225

Okay, she actually likes seeing him again, under better (well, sort of) circumstances. Maybe it's the thrill she just went through.

Heheheh, but Adult John is a head higher than her.

---

Page 226

Ooooooh, awesome.

Glad to see John finding an actual way to bond with Harry!

He could've probably alchemized a bigger outfit, or magicked one, but having Harry redesign it is WAY better. So I guess his sprite is bigger now, but I wonder if the same is true for the other adults.

Also, yes, John is again very good at pointing out the obvious shenanigans of having two Vriskas could entail. He's always been good at making those connections. And cool to see how his inherent dweepiness has turned into being an embarrasment to his son, now that John himself is an adult. :P

Hah, so Rose & Kanaya are coming over - Vrissy's already feeling embarassed by getting fawned over. Though with Jade along, I hope we'll get to know about "Yiffy" - who's apparently held close to Jane.

---

Page 229

Hahahah, nice to have at last the 3 remaining B1 adults together.

So, Yiffy is something John doesn't know about and is being kept in the dark about. Weird... Like, I don't think it's like a polyamorous CANINE lover for Jade, right? Not sure what to think at this point.

And Kanaya is too busy fuzzing over Vrissy to comment on John's clothing.

---

Page 230

Hahahahah, the idea of Vrissy turning into a little hissy-fit goblin as her mothers try to clean her up is delightful.

And the others seem to want to keep John in the dark on some of the things about the war, but they really shouldn't. I'm very curious about the truth, but also, John would definitely be able to help.

... Wait a minute. Yiffy doesn't mean Roxy, does it???

---

Page 232

Ahhh, things were turning up so dramatically... And then John goes and leaps to the most WRONG conclusion he could make. I mean, no offense to him of course, he's been kept out of the dark.

---

Page 234

I wow.

W---

Jezus H. Christ.

This does indeed read like a chapter in a bad fanfic. But it's real. Real as can be.

Jade and Rose have a daughter. That's... Wow. This I gotta process.

It feels as though the chapter is winding down, and with it, this little interlude on Earth C. What a day.

But yeah, Vrissy will definitely have some FEELINGS about this revelation.

... The fact that the name started as one-upmanship and stuck because of carapacian bureaucracy, and this was the reason for the secrecy of years. That's just wild.

Her name is a play on Pippy Longstocking of course. And long stockings are what Jade wore. Dear lord, this is insane. This really fucks up the family tree some more, too.

---

Page 235

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff----

Yeah, the issue of Dave's absence kind of got sidetracked there.

So I wonder if Davebot actually had the decency to look Jade up before leaving.

---

Wow. Let's take some time to digest THIS whopper of a revelation.

Also: of course the 8th chapter would be full-on focusing on Vriska.

#homestuck #homestuck^2 #yiffy lalonde harley #liveblogging homestuck #vriska serket #harry egbert #harry anderson egbert #tavros crocker #vrissy ml #vriska maryam lalonde #john egbert #jade harley #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #reaction

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dahniwitchoflight · 5 years

Text

Candy 37-End

Vriska isn’t wrong when she’s picturing Earth C’s Sky as being like Skaia, where you see in the cloud’s of the sky what is real and canon, which is exactly what’s happening here in this Sky of Earth C, because everything, even the visions in the clouds, are being bent unconsciously to John’s will.

If John were a much more selfish person, willing to take and enjoy everything he ever wanted, this would be a paradise to him, thank god he’s not though, but still sucks to be him

Love the infinite character loop that is the character arc of “Vriska” that she just can’t seem to escape btw

“Asshole teenager does horrible things in the name of role model who she thinks is cool but is actually terrible and another version of herself from another life and its only once she falls into her own bullshit does she realize life could have been different, been better”

Maybe this would all be different if all these Baby Vriska’s didn’t choose asshole versions of themselves as a role model like some kind of terrible self fulfilling prophecy

I don’t messaging Terezi is gonna work, pretty sure she’s dead, but Vriska doesn’t know that, she skipped right past the latest conversation and went to the top didn’t she? yup

Good to see that, from Roxy’s point of view, she didn’t just stop existing, she did just naturally swerve into the kind of person John would like, but from John’s point of view and what he knows, it did make her feel like some kind of ingenuine puppet. Sad to see that once again, she just wanted John to be happy, but her attempts, since they were coming from her, would just be futile in his eyes due to the context of the situation they found themselves in

But hilariously ironic if it was literally just the normal relationship troubles of becoming estranged from him because he was becoming estranged from her because he stopped treating her like a real person because he felt like she wasn't real

when from your own perspective, yourself is always real. From Roxy’s perspective, she could be real while no one else isn’t, it kind of a side effect of reality feeling like it’s being warped, everything gets dilated and stretched to kind of orbit around only your own perspective and you get disconnected to everything else

and of course, you can’t help but think, is Roxy only acting real NOW because John and thus the narrative finally really wants her to be? It’s a circumstantial question without an answer, it really depends on which perspective is being written from and who you ask

but still, the one factor no one can really account for is the house juju, while they are all god tier players with ultimate selves, John has retcon power, and that IS an advantage over everyone else’s wills, whether anyone likes it or is aware of it or not

it just happens that due to John’s non interference policy as much as possible, the changes were more subtle and thus no matter how warped, it was “well written” is the only way to explain it

so even if Roxy is a puppet or a real person, she is indistinguishable from either one

But can’t forget that Skaia is not entirely neutral either, it contains an author with a narrative and an opinion, who may be doing his best to remove himself just like John but did it is still one version of events over others, Hussie himself

that’s the real seemingly inescapable canon that makes things feel right or wrong or real or fake, whatever Hussie thinks is so

and maybe because Hussie was their original creators, some part of their cores will always be tugged back to his vision in some way, that piece of narrative influence that gives an unfair sway to one thing over another

Just like the what the cursor does to John

like Roxy is 100% accurate in what she’s saying in Candy too, IF everything was equal in it’s influence, if Skaia was a pool of everyone’s wills and not the will of just one man doing his best to not be that

Once again, the biggest problem in the story is the plothole of the cursor, but that’s one Hussie can’t be the one to solve or else the problem of influence just continues on in his own work

So it makes sense to do what he’s done so far and give the reigns over in ways to others, have other people write the epilogues, have other people in the hand of creation for things like hiveswap and pesterquest

and yknow of course fandom and audience, but things that come from the audience won’t ever be real and canon, like fanfiction won’t solve this problem either, no one would ever really accept that

it has to be a scenario where the originator entrusts decisions to other people aka Hussie hires an official team to do something and then they take the reigns from there

WhatPumpkin, maybe without Hussie, has to be the one to solve the plothole of the cursor to everything to feel truly “right”

maybe not do everything themselves obviously, but that problem has to be solved by someone who isn’t Hussie, that’s what I feel

That’s what I think, that feels acceptable and satisfying to me

mood whiplash incoming:

OBAMA?? oh my god damn fucking fuck

this is how he shows up in the epilogues, goddammit

I’ll be honest, while this is hilarious as a joke, it’s actually very derailing to the narrative

It feels like something that should be happening in sweet bro and hella jeff, not Homestuck

Like I enjoy it, but I know it’s wrong here, not supposed to be happening

This is absolutely a test for the audience, basically a dare, how much are we willing to accept as “Canon”? outright challenging us to change the narrative now

because if we justify changing this, we can justify changing other things, and then that basically opens the floodgates

That’s honestly probably what a lot of the content in these epilogues was meant to be, each thing presenting more and more of a challenge to swallow as real, how much can we take before we decided enough is enough and start making it different?

I actually hit that a while ago with nearly every implied sexual escapade of Gamzee’s none of them are things I want to be in Homestuck proper straight up I can think of no good sexual relationship Gamzee has ever had in the history of Homestuck

I actually don’t like where this is going though, like it was shock but now it’s getting weird vibes

The fated place of this planet is to be a cherub nest for the big bad (and also Calliope)

Why is Obama so concerned about the fate of where it’s meant to end up at? Nowhere good is the answer. And also his speech is starting to sound vaguely Dirk like or at least Dirk justifying and I don’t like how it’s taking all of Dave’s attention like he’s getting a sudden pump of that Dirk withdrawal.

“OBAMA: Haven’t you been improved by the knowledge of what you grew up to be in my time? Can you really say you’d be what you are today without the memory of him?”

Which “Him”? because if you say Dirk I don’t trust like that

All of this is such a lampshade though about the whole idea of the narrative, that’s so glaringly clear.

Obama was found by Adventuring Grandpa Jake as a kid??? I mean, sure, why not, I guess all of humanity is related to Jake technically just like the rest of the god tiers

Oh wow their just straight up making Obama another “Kid of Jake” story like Jade and Joey, “lonely kid lives on island, distantly related to an old man version of Jake English, turns out the Island holds some secret that unlocks the key to more knowledge.”

Also there making it pretty clear that the rest of the Earth Kids DO have SOME power to influence reality, since John wouldn’t think of this, I really don’t think he would, it’s just that when John is involved his everything outweighs everything

Even now it goes back to the shades John gave him over and over.

“OBAMA: I think Dirk would be proud if he could see how you turned out.

OBAMA: In fact, I know it.“

I DON’T TRUST LIKE THAT I DON’T TRUST LIKE THAT

I’m also really actually uncomfortable with how far this joke is going, like, Obama is a real person outside of homestuck, putting all this shit into his mouth just feels really in bad taste, like it’s taking the joke of how much Dave ironically likes Obama way waaay too far

“OBAMA: Believing is the key to understanding the truth underlying the words, the truth underlying the ideas they represent, and the truth underlying who we are as individuals.

OBAMA: The power of belief, the power of Hope, that’s what endows that which is intangible, ephemeral, or uncertain with a sense of reality.

OBAMA: It brings focus to the insubstantial, the mirages of the mind, the multiplicity of what is possible, of what could be, and isolates it—concentrates it—to turn it into that which is.OBAMA: And the result of that, Dave, is what we call truth.“

This is neat though, basically confirming Hope as a power of Reality has a direct ties to Canonical Truth

“The only thing he knows is he needs to listen carefully to every precious syllable. To listen with his ears, his heart, his entire being.“

Is the Ultimate Self of Dirk actually just extending to like, every person who potentially holds his DNA now??? Like, as one of the ecto progenitors of Mankind itself like how Grandpa Adventure Jake was implying??

Because that’s a terrifying thought

or maybe not, this Obama IS a constructed hologram, I forgot, pull back the reigns, Dirk could have easily constructed a robo-holo version of himself to look and act a fake story of Obama just for Dave’s sake

that makes more sense

“OBAMA: He taught me about many things. Combat, philosophy, life, love... “

Yup there is no way this isn’t some version of Dirk like a strange Obama-fied autoresponder

Okay, bad taste jokes aside about using Obama as a literary device going a bit to far

Dirk using that phrase as like, it seems to be confirmation that Dirk feels a need to “train” his romantic partners and people around him to be the people he wants them to be, servants for him and that’s so gross

“ The sliding panel reveals a recess, and in the recess stands a robot. It’s a gleaming, polished silver replica of Dave, but without shades. It stands totally still, unpowered. Dave struggles to make sense of what he’s looking at. “

IT’S A TRAP DON’T GO INTO THE ROBOT BODY THAT NEVER WORKS OUT FOR ANYONE.

IT IS *LITERALLY* CONSTRUCTING A VERSION OF ANOTHER PERSON TO WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT THEM TO BE.

God, you never really get just how control freak and obsessive it is to literally want to remake every single cell of a person and program them obsessively so that they do whatever it is that you want while also seeming indistinguishable from themselves, perfectly programmed and perfectly written

I say this not without missing the irony that doing that is exactly what Hussie wants all of us to do as well, and even I think things could be better written but that’s still hubris too isn’t it?

Calling it a choice for Dave even now rings so entirely hollow, because Dave is being written here like he would never choose anything else, so really when did he ever have a choice?

The fact that Obama seems to actually have hope powers and the way that his backstory included that note about he was related to a version of Jake English though more just makes me think Dirk’s Ultimate self got a hold of Jake’s as well, and this holobama is more just Jake English twisted incomprehensibly into another being by Dirk Strider

"Dave’s eyes widen, his mouth opens as if to scream, but he doesn’t make a sound. Infinite experience flows through his consciousness, an unimpeded torrent of raw potentiality. He sees everything. The roads not taken, the lives not lived, the thoughts, desires, fears all unacted upon. The Doomed Daves, the Davesprites, the Davepetas, life with Jade, life with Karkat, life with both, life with neither. It’s like soaring through the clouds at supersonic speed, too quickly to make out the shape of any single puffy nimbus, like a breakneck jaunt through Skaia. Huge clouds rushing by, small ones, clouds with visions, empty clouds, white clouds, then a great dark one. And then, the briefest possible glimpses—most too fleeting to be noticed—of Dirk. “

You know I just realized something too, In it’s own Messed up Way, I can see how Dirk think’s what he’s doing might be good too

if the natural conclusion I came to is that all the characters themselves need to take a swill of that house cursor thing to all be on equal footing and decide together how they want the story to be

Dirk may think he’s technically doing the same thing by unlocking everyone’s ultimate selves and merging them into his

because then it is technically every version of all of his friends all making a decision together, not just his friends, all the aspects of reality itself

except their all strapped to his will and only his will

theyre not making decisions together, theyre making decisions together for Dirk how Dirk wants is to be

they all have to have equal footing and they all can’t decide how each other’s lives are going to be

If they all get canon imbibing power and want to remake homestuck, they have to only be able to only affect their own lives, nothing more, or we get this problem

and well, Dirk just got Dave’s Ultimate self now

“JADE: as it happens, this projection within me serves as a stable conceptual foothold from which i can sense and resist another growing threat which is determined to jeopardize the canonical plane of reality.”

So again if it hasn’t already been confirmed before, Dirk doesn’t want to uphold Homestuck’s “Canon” he wants to upend it for his own purposes.

Neither Meat or Candy is Canon, but both are affecting it.

Oh cool, Alltie is actually going into with Aradia how the narrative can be condensed in such a way that they can then be applied loosely in multiple different ways, just like how I was talking about before with how Vriska’s arc seems to loop around

haha I wonder if I can do the same thing

“A brat admires an asshole, becomes one, and regrets it.”

wait I can do better

“A brat imitates an asshole and regrets it.”

that was actually a neat little exercise in how entirely strip something of all of it’s context in order to broadly apply it to multiple scenarios. Stripping the cloth in order to create a narrative thread.

“It’s a feather, burnt at the edges, flickering orange and green.”

Oh Ultimate Dirk’s definitely eaten Ultimate Jake

“JADE: consume his body.

JADE: absorb his essence.

JADE: and then using this host, i will generate enough power to move beyond the staggering pull of the event horizon encasing this world.

JADE: a prison of my own making, which can be escaped only through the supreme unification with my other half.

JADE: it is crucial to the cosmos that i succeed.

JADE: the prince of heart has to be stopped.“

Ah, Okay, now I understand that ending part of Meat, that was actually the end of Candy, so now I assume the ending of Meat is gonna happen here on the next page?

Also, Alltie, I dunno if merging with LE is exactly the thing you want to be doing here, unless you think you can win the battle of wills on the ultimate self scale, absorbing Dirk into you instead?

You probably can, I mean, even if Dirk is an especially manipulative human given godlike power to manifest his reality and put his will over countless other only humans so far

You are a Cherub who has a specific biological advantage on this field over overturning wills and you also have godlike cosmic power

Is that why our Callie is so afraid of you? Because your soul and will and ultimate self is just as much of an all consuming black hole as what you physically became? If she gets too close she’ll stop being her, pulled in by your inescapable will?

Alright, so this is Meat PostScript technically

Now I kinda wanna deconstruct the label of Post Script here though

If “Intermission” actually means “oops the story got to long, here’s a break.” but actually continues on with it’s own story not actually providing a break from long winded scripts but instead fighting with it for space and attention

If “Epilogue” actually means “oops, forgot some story, here’s some more.” not actually being an ending chapter but a tell of more to come, a bridge between stories

Does “Post Script” it’s its meaning of “After Story” an addition, a sequel coming after the original story

actually just mean “oops, I wrote the wrong story, here’s a different one”?

after all, a sequel to a story, is actually just writing a different story altogether, but one still related to the original

and why write a different story if the one you already wrote was enough?

so you think a sequel is going to be a sequel, because of the name, a different story, happening after the first, like were leaving what happened in Homestuck behind us

but in actuality it’s the same story, told in a different better way

I’m still harping on that Homestuck 2.0 is just gonna be the story of Homestuck but written differently this time, top to bottom front to end nice and neat using one elegant stroke the whole way through

Anyway one sec while I quickly reread the last actual chapter of meat before I read this postcript because I want it be fresh in my mind

Okay Dirk’s leaving at lightspeed in a spaceship with Rose and the rest of the gang are being directed by essentially a geiger counter/shield for Dirk’s presence in Jade’s body

Oh right, now I’m remembering bloody Jade tearing into flesh (LE’s flesh I guess) while Aradia watches and then her and Robot Dave and Aradia all rocket into that gaping hole, so I guess Robo-Dave might not be all that Dirk influenced? Or that Dirk sent him specifically to keep tabs on Alltie, subtly, they didn’t exactly greet eachother or interact at all or wait for him, so they don’t seem totally allied.

Then following Dirk’s spaceship:

It looks like a shark? Interesting

Considering Void a great Ocean, Shark is fitting a predator of that Ocean

Like how the end of Meat had someone tearing into Meat viciously

and now the end of Candy has someone daintily mowing down on a bowl of Candy, very sour candy it seems

Rose doesn’t seem to happy in a robo-body. It’s pretty clear she’s struggling to hold on to any sort of humanity or normalcy, which is interesting, if she’s so unhappy and doesn’t consider herself Dirk’s servant, why is she still with him?

So something important is needed for her flesh body, something that will have something to do with canon I suppose. Tiara imagery never bodes well, so I’m guessing it’s not just moving her consciousness over its probably also controlling it somehow

It sure makes princess imagery ominous anyway, Rose is a right sleeping beauty, or maybe a snow white if the glass coffin is anything to go by.

Oh, theyre intentionally creating a new session of Sburb?

“New Race” so maybe not humans, trolls or cherubs? Interesting, still could be new human race though

Gotta love how it ends on a dismissive tone from Dirk lol

So, is Rose all in on the idea of starting up a new session for some purpose?

and what does her flesh body have to do with it?

The only thing I can think of is that it’s meant to be a vessel for something, and right now the only person using flesh vessels on Dirk’s radar is Alltie

Do they mean to trap her in Rose’s body for some reason? and through that control her in some way?

I can’t help but think of Callie’s word again, that this is not a purple rose, but a red rose dyed blue, Alltie is certainly Red, and in Rose she’d be a “Red Rose” like how currently in Jade she makes a “Red Jade”

Dying her Blue, using Candy to control her then? Her one weakness was basically her eternal reverence for the CandyPop which if Alltie ever took part of would be the one time she’d basically lose control and think there was no problem with anything, putting her into her own drugged haze of not caring, basically the only thing you could do to stop her if you wanted to

As for this new session of SBURB, I can only guess that it’s importance lies as their attempt to rewrite their own story top to bottom starting from Humanity as a whole, only this time it’s Dirk writing everything not Hussie

So Dirk really is doing the Doc Scratch thing like with Alternia

Again, he thinks he’s doing the right thing, but he’s just totally wrong about it

That’s it then for the “Epilogues” it was a good read!

Can’t wait for the “Sequel” :)

#Homestuck #Meat or Candy

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solskinns · 4 years

Text

Gold Over the Heart

It's a simple night in the city of true perfection; even the horrors of night have no power to tarnish the beauty of the city lights from above on top of some of the tallest buildings. Such a scenery allows me to see the cars below as if they are mice or rats and my good friend Lanced-Moonlight looks down too. I believe clarification is needed though, I am the great Captain-Daylight; hero in the thriving city of Perfania though I personally want that ‘f’ to be a ‘v’ however that is me getting ahead of myself. My ability of great strength and flight has made me the hero of light. Though my friend ends up my opposite as the night's final answer wielding a lance more like a bow-staff. He sees the city that he holds so dearly to his heart.

“Look at them all, at ANY time ANY of them could end up in jail if they make even a single wrong move” He said worryingly.

“Do not fret old friend, soon we can make sure the utopia we achieved remains so” My answer became. Indeed this city couldn't be better of its painful perfection after the work of war being neutralized. What WAS here was the rubble of a broken city doomed for apocalypse upon its fallout during the 1950s and war in the 1960s! Therefore, upon the end of the war, peace had settled in at last with the help of me and my fellow men that took the call to action. Now the buildings stand taller than ever a renaissance beginning with a bigger, scattered, more functional Stonehenge towering over those who innocently roam the streets; truly, a paradise has been made in hopes of it being maintained!

It always seemed to be the alleyway, however, that was still as dark as it always was aside from the litter and graffiti that no longer marks these areas, though warning signs for innocent strangers are what fashion them now. It makes the roundup of bad guys much easier honestly.

“You know Lanced-Moonlight, such heroism is quite difficult for keeping morale amongst our public; how is it you are maintaining such popularity?” I question sitting against a wall with him holding his lance like a once warrior now king, waiting for his next challenger pridefully.

“John, must we go through with the reasoning of your failure as a hero on the daily now?” He questions back with disappointment in his tone. I could tell it was disappointment laid true considering his mention of my name and his heart seeming unwilling to mention it once more. It's also possible that he doesn't want to be here anyway.

“It has boggled my mind then and it still does NOW, so I believe it is still needed, yes” I say so a bit assertively with my kind wish for advice

He sighs defeated “Well if you MUST know, you are completely out of your league; powers of the strong with a mind for the weak” he scoffs as if disgusted and continues “Where I am able to take down the villains to the delight of our fans, YOU are criticized time and time again by your methods”

Like always, I'm shocked by the response I got “Methods? Well why woul-”

He cuts me off “Don't you see your excitement is killing your reputation for what you do?!” He blurted out of a hate for WHAT I do rather than me specifically.

I basically wait till he's done which he took as me speechless.

“They all love me because I don't bother with horrifying acts like that and they ALL have feelings that you of all people have a dark side to yourself,”

“well that goes for you too my frie-”

Once again he cut me off from my little joke “Me included…” Now THIS was a new one and worst of all, it felt like he kept that in for practically MONTHS!

He gets up from the cold low hair of concrete and brick and looks down at the alley he has been on the lookout for as his eyes narrow to a group down there, so he tries to finish our shorter of talks “I suggest that you change your acts before you get labeled a madman and get thrown in the prison, I'm sure they'd LOVE to talk to you there” he jumps down and next thing I end up hearing is the punching and even cracking of bones. Not a single scream or beg for mercy was uttered by the my old friend!

The next day, my rest in a simple mattress was rather nice; my apartment room was small with a kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom all wrapped into a nice package the size of half an attic really. I manage getting out of bed and do my daily routine of perfect hygiene, a great breakfast of eggs, bacon, and pancakes filling my nostrils and my stomach, and finally dressing up in my uniform of the white suit with the significant C in a sun as well as yellow gloves and boots for this occasion. OH, and can't forget my flowing yellow cape to fly in.

With all the essentials, I fly out the window, close it, feel the sun return my abilities in full force, and patrol the streets of a perfect city, no crowds and no trouble either. I could feel the wind flow my well cut and positioned hair as the only sounds I get to hear up here is the public enjoying their lives without a second thought. That is until I find a line decorating a single sidewalk to an expo center. Now what on earth is all this? I look for a sign on the building and oh I thought seeing Lanced-Moonlight’s daily routine of the morning. I decided to float my way slowly to the expo that would be the the most average sized building in the city.

People and even security allowed me inside without the need to wait in line. Upon arriving, it was clear as day, Lanced-Moonlight was signing autographs and selling his recent stories for all to see his work. Not to mention his merchandise flying off the shelves like a tornado took all the good products! There DOES exist my merchandise, but, like every time, it lays dormant and fully stocked. Only a select few have wandered there just because the Lanced-Moonlight stuff is long gone.

“AH, the Captain of Daylight himself” He says smiling smiling at me and getting up. His costume is visual and his navy blue suit is shown with a crescent shaped moon and stars making an L shape. He sports a scarf of pure white with only a few light gray spots here and there. Simply put, he stays my opposite in every way “HEY EVERYONE ‘GOODY-GOODY’ IS HERE TO TELL MY STORY TO YOU GUYS! Aren't you pal?” patting my shoulder with a nice grin directed to me. He also jokes with me seeming like a ‘goody-goody’ he calls it.

“Sure, I'd like to” I recite the story as I heard it for myself and how I didn't join due to me...having faith in his ability to do it alone...yeah. The audience would correct me on the violent acts he did and laugh at my cowardice as I portrayed it “and there you go, the story of another victory for the Lanced-Moonlight against the dreaded Jaded-Key” I really assumed it was the villain who could open any door through his incredible strength; it simply made sense from the voice. He segued me off to the side as to give himself more attention. It didn't matter to me though, I did what he wished and that's all I want, besides, I'm going to be late for MY meet and greet.

I fly off in the lower streets where kids usually have trouble around here and sure enough, I snatch a cat from a tree and talk to its owner about this behavior, I get a kid a brand new balloon to replace the one in the same tree as well as scold him for doing it for the seventh time this month, and even stop some roughhousing between four kids while having them make up for past mistakes. They all say the same thing “get away” “I can't talk to mean strangers” “so what old man” and my favorite “go jump on the meanie-trainy” the imaginations on these children seem to never end. It all passes by me though; I helped them and I'm okay with that. What madness it is to get that across others and to say I'm not crazy which once more, I protest still, my mind is sane and well.

I fly on down to the gray box of inescapable brick and I stand proudly in front of it, opening the doors that contain these villains all that have destroyed or stole in some way or another. I walk past every cell with names flashing by; Winged-Zapter, Professor Gulp, Sea-beast, and then Jaded Key which I stop at. There were others beyond his cell, but I don't need them now, for now it's HIM I need! I take my breath and get ready for my vile deed to the city. Delay is no longer an option. I must do this. For my city. For my people...I open the door as it creaks in the way a metal door would to see him peacefully sitting on the bed.

I smile relieved; he could escape easily with his strength and yet he sits. I take a seat on the other end of the bed as my position is to him so we can have this be done and over with“good morning, Jake, I trust you slept well today”

He smirks at my mention of his real name “better than ever, but ya kept me waiting” he responds gladly.

“Oh, well I had some delays on the way here, you know me” I chuckled.

“Yeah, hero business and what not” He says understandably.

“Now...let us talk about what happened yesterday,” this is no interrogation “how was it?” this is my horrible act that I pull every single day

“Well ya see…” he responds with how he was just fine with all the chaos that was going on. Do I regret what I do because the fans won't give me fame from what I do? Am I tricking this man? Do my acts cause pain and sorrow to those I face? Absolutely NOT! Why? Because despite the city claiming its openness to all, the people of PerVania do not see the segregation that still reigns supreme and is even SUPPORTED by the likes of the Lanced-Moonlight!

Therefore, as the only light in the dark, I believe everyone deserves a second chance...EVERYONE!

*CUT*

Coming this week; the next story concept of a perfect world trying to figure out how to remain perfect. This short story is not the real thing and Captain-Daylight as well as Lanced-Moonlight will not be this simple. Lanced will be lighter and less selfish than that while the 'bad guys' are typical villains instead of criminals. Daylight is more optimistic while also somewhat ignorant to the big picture as he only saves lives and unintentionally gain fame amongst the audience. Just as further salt on the wound, the audience is okay with all of this. No worries though, a hitman in a world where corporations are all there is has been thrusted into this world of a classic and tired formula...this is more comedy as I create it so maybe look forward to that. Until then, keep the sun shining! Buh-byye

#Painful Perfection #Superheroes #moral compass #Rights of a Hero #A pilot of sorts #Captain-Daylight #Lanced-Moonlight #Is villainy mostly mistakened?

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theorynexus · 4 years

Text

Fudge, I already did 57/ Now I have to do 58/ 13 over 12, man / I guess we’re doing human stuff instead of trolling, today.

Coincidentally via some sort of textual wonder possibly related to authorial intent and/or miracles, we now have to focus on Roxy, now. Somewhat ironic, considering Terezi just said she and John wouldn’t work out. ...

***shift eyes, something about knowing the unknowable and the vagueries thereof, possible interference by the new Narrator, et cetera*** Hmmm~

What, so black holes cause suck up all the voidiness into themselves via proximity?! Noooo~ Who’d have thought! (In all seriousness, that gives some interesting resonance mechanic relation, here. I want to know whether it’s just Alt!Calliope that can sense said thoughts, if it’s just Roxy being over-emotional, or if any other observer would be able to pick such thoughts up and it’s just a mater of proxy-imity.)

Okay, then. I thought the point of this was to look like a completely passive observer and not tip people off other than via the black eyes, but you do you, I guess-- if that’s intentional. Nice gazing out through the fourth wall, though. I’m sure Jade would be/is vaguely proud, knowing the narrative resonance, here, given her own fourth wall breaking shenanigans.

I blame time and void interactions. Also Dave being an insufferable prick. Good to know, regarding Roxy and their feelings toward Dave, though.

Is Dirk going to literally shoot him in the arse? That would be horribly ironic, and probably quite crippling to Joke Jake’s reputation and/or the power of his endorsement, if so. Semi-related: I do sortof understand Dave’s belief/concern with regards to the importance of this event. What I want to know is why there are not thousands of Daves running around, all helping the campaign and being available to deal with other important tasks.

“Iced” cream is the best fricking thing, Dirk, and I don’t know what you’re talking about.

This really reminds me of Equius and Nepeta, and that is sortof cute. I almost can’t stand it. Honestly, this relationship is actually quite similar, except Alt!Calliope is much more dominant in the relationship than Nepeta was. Also Dirk probably has more potential to damage things than Equius did (other than way out of the temporal frame of that moirallegiance, as part of Lord English--- and even then, Nepeta ironically acted as a counter to his muscle-bound rage, albeit way after much of the damage had already been done [thanks, Davesprite {albeit, unrelated to the matter at hand, this relationship was probably why Davepettasprite^2 was destined in such a way to handle Lord English, in addition to the prophesies surrounding Dave dealing with him, Davesprite being the first one to get Caledfwlch, and the flying off into the sun prophesy (which was aided greatly by Seppucrow, the true hero of the story)}]). I guess that makes this relationship relatively more important, maybe.

So fricking wonderful and adorable. I do wonder why there are not that many consorts, though. Maybe they are just too distracted and hyperactive to have much in the way of drive to participate in politics. The humans I sortof vaguely understand, albeit I’d have thought that more might show up specifically for Jake’s speech, assuming that it was announced beforehand.

Dirk feels predictably antagonized, and is lashing out. I have a feeling that he’d intended to do something major before all this control was taken from him, but this will probably make it worse. Hmm.

Heh. I don’t think that he means to “pump her full of daylight,” at the moment, so this is still funny instead of terrifying.

Huh. Dave already knew about Calliope’s gender and is chill with it. Neat.

Oh. Umm... while I’m sure that he does not need that in order to target Jade’s body if he intends to do so, that is quite foreboding. He is indeed quite capable of tricking people into doing things, at times, isn’t he?

HAH! That is horrible, you self-obsessed weirdo! XD

More serious than being mind controlled by a space witch with bad intentions who has mind powers stolen from all the major players of her species, huh? (I seriously still wonder how the fight against her went so relatively-seemingly easily, and what happened with her curse. Maybe it only transfers in LE’s proximity, or something. ) ... Also, it wasn’t entirely just a joke, Roxy, geeze.

Thaaat’s what happens when your world is under a corrupting influence that is twisting the fabric of reality to their whim. (The question is: Is this Dirk or Calliope? Does she really have the right to judge him for his actions, if he really is expressing free will in doing so? Yes, yes she does, because he is strongly subverting the will of others, and justice in Paradox Space demands some sort of counterbalancing force. If his excess relevance as the Narrator is the only cost he faces, rather than dying a Just Death, he should feel lucky.)

***peals of cherubic laughter peal out in the background*** Random reminder: Angels (in Homestuck) are terrifying demons that should be taken as harbringers of the apocalypse. Alt!Calliope has already played this job once along with Lord English. Is her presence outside canon an ill omen by definition? (I am not sure Calliope the younger entirely counts, given her special circumstances, by the way. Hard to say.)

Beautiful. It’s almost like he’s an open PAGE of Hope, waiting to be written!

This is a somewhat wise impression. But it’s complicated, and great power means great responsibility. Especially when the nuclear genie has already been let out of the bottle on account of someone’s great ambition. (Note: I actually find Jane’s impulse to rule over her creation to be a reasonable one to have, all things considered. I am not judging her negatively for this. I am just not 100% certain that it is the right path to go on before they get a few dozen more years to wise them up, or maybe a few centuries. Wisdom is a very important thing for leadership, and it comes with age! Of course, experience also helps, but it might be useful to have some sort of smaller-scale experimentation with politic-- oh, wait, wasn’t she made a mayor at some point, according to the credits? That really hasn’t been emphasized in the epilogue at all, but probably should be more heavily considered. It’s still not enough experience for me to feel confident in her, but it’s something. Hmm.)

I mean... I can hear you. I thought your awareness was still there. I guess maybe having your position of control taken away from you might have sapped that as well, maybe. And yes, it is very interesting, indeed. Now, please put down the gun and try to negotiate more reasonably and in a more civilized fashion than the mistaken cowboy diplomacy idea you’re now engaging in. I will give Dirk some slack insofar as he is still getting used to her identifying as such, but he is sortof making a fool of himself by lashing out at Alt!Callie like that. It’s rather irrational, and doesn’t reflect very well on his character. It makes him out as being rather petulant and inflexible when it comes to identity matters.

Yeeeeep.

This is true (regarding the last part). It is also really sad to see them fighting like this. >:

Dave, you are being a dummy. You should really stop.

Aww. That is a very cute reaction. :3 Also, that is somewhat dishonest, Alt!Calliope. You should say “seemingly” nothing. ***harrumphs and wags my finger at them!***

It is somewhat rude of him to laugh, but I am almost tempted to laugh too, specifically at the fact that this is Alt!Calliope confirming emphatically the beauty of their other version in Roxy’s eyes. It has a sort of ironic tension and silliness to it. Possibly some pride. I therefore cannot entirely blame him for his laughter, for I do not know whether that is what he is laughing at, or if he’s laughing at the idea of finding an alien skull monster beautiful (which she really is).

It is sortof nice to see this encouragement from Dirk, albeit it is probably laced with irony and sarcasm. Knowing one’s self and admitting/accepting the things one feels is incredibly important to a person’s health! It feels brotherly of him.

I wonder if Roxy actually feels that way (that it is none of her business), or if it’s Alt!Calliope’s somewhat cold (and sarcastically-directed) interpretation of things. Hmm.

A very important question to ask for someone who is dealing with their own identity issues and/or worries about their friends judging them for them. This is really all there is to say on the matter.

That is a complicated question. The answer is this: Identity is only partially self-deterministic. You can certainly struggle and hope and wish for certain things, indulge in certain behaviors, and see what rubs off on you, or what you feel right about, but in all honesty, you are who you are. This CAN change over time, and that is something that most people don’t think about. To say you “change your mind” about “the person you wanna be” is not an accurate statement: you don’t necessarily choose anything at all, other than whether you want to actually embrace who you are and/or are becoming, and if you will actually tell anyone about it. In that sense: whether it is too late to change your mind about who you say and outwardly project you are?--- no, it is not too late. However, it can potentially be pretty fricking confusing to people, and some friends may not be able to handle it, especially if they have pretty deeply imbedded themselves in your own journey/identity, and/or anchored themselves in it as part of their own. This can cause them to be pretty put off, and potentially to have difficulty maintaining their relationship with you. As such, in summary: one should be careful and always very much self-reflective about identity issues. The choice to come out with any sort of change or difference is not an easy one, and someone should not be blamed for either side they fall upon--- whether they want to keep who they are a secret and/or for how long, or if they want to project it to the world (unless they are really violent about it and/or attempt to shame someone/force themselves upon another person as a “necessary” thing to do for their own growth/impulses or whathaveyou: that is just abusive and wrong).

No. While there is some degree of social capital involved and thus you should attempt to time things properly and take the needs of others into account (which means you have no right to get upset at them if they don’t react a certain way and/or are too involved with whatever is going on in their life right then to grapple with your assuredly stunning revelation), one does not owe their friends any sort of bombshell moment, and any sort of desire for one and/or push on someone else’s part for identity-related drama and/or revelation is actually what is greedy.

***shrug*** I guess it’s funny insofar as it has psychological humor wrapped into it and it makes the phraseology more cutesy (thus more approachable, I guess), but it’s not mind-blowing or anything.

And that’s okay. Someone can be casual about these things and not make it a federal fricking issue if they don’t want to. It’s also okay to have repeated revelations and/or constantly wrestle with who you actually are. It’s not something to be embarrassed about or paranoid with in a social respect, especially in a world with numerous different species of alien humanoids that have different and somewhat conflicting types of identities and drives. Almost indisputably, that should make identity issues less of a socially big deal.

Yes. Just like you helped him before. Oh wait, what was that? You had years to figure it out, but did nothing? Ah, well. Couldn’t be helped, I guess. Brothers do have their own separate matters to consider, after all.

***snickers*** Honestly, he’s probably right, but for different reasons than he’s expressing.

***cough time travel, cough*** Note: I actually don’t want to read that. It would feel like a really awkward sort of waste of narrative time. I’m just annoyed at the very ironic lack of time manipulation he’s been doing. Though in this case it sortof does suit him, insofar as he is using time concerns that he obviously could get around as if they were a suit of armor and/or armaments for him to verbally exploit. Very knight-y. Aaand this feels like about the right time to end this post.

#Homestuck Analysis #Identity #Homestuck Spoilers #Homestuck Liveblog #Homestuck Epilogue

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gal-liveblogs · 5 years

Text

A parting gift from an old flame, it was given to one of my splinters in a distant timeline before ending up in my posession via lots of complicated shit that I don't wanna get into.

O.K. So someone gave some version of Dirk Hussie painting of a quarterback fighting a horse. I have an intense desire to know who.

"Dear Dirk, In memory of our precious time together. When you look at it, think of me, and be reminded that while we breathe, we Hope." -B.O

Oh fuck me, it was Obama. Jesus Christ, I can’t.

O.K., I had been wondering what this stuff in the corner was, but didn’t comment as I couldn’t think of how to describe them. Now, though, we have a bigger picture and that’s a cherub paint set and an old troll horn headband. Probably Calliope’s stuff.

This set of paints and the charred remains of my HORNED HEADBAND are the only surviving relics of the first and last WORLDWIDE INTERSPECIES ROLEPLAYING SESSION we ever attempted on Earth C.

Oh. Not Calliope’s. They are, in fact, Dirk’s. The Interspecies Roleplaying Session was probably orchestrated by Calliope, though.

Calliope got it into their head that dressing up in cosplay would be a fun community activity.

Right on the money!

In other news Dirk’s trollsona has a unicorn horn. So it’s not that the headband was tilted and the other horn was hidden behind the paint set like I thought. Also Dave’s trollsona has dick horns. I am not surprised. Weird how Dirk, Dave, and Rose didn’t bother to give themselves black hair. Rose gave herself yellow scleras, but couldn’t commit to the black hair it seems.

Vantas had some very uncharitable things to say about the idea, and for once in his life I think he was right.

I mean, it’s like when white people dress as Native Americans for Halloween. I can understand his anger. Though even if he didn’t have a good reason Karkat would have still been angry, I’m sure.

Plants are basically the ideal friends. They don't constantly question your decisions, or try and undermine your authority, or suggest that perhaps you should try talking about your feelings every once in a while.

I think Dirk’s issue with Homestuck getting too feelings-y was that he doesn’t like talking about his own feelings.

Wait. Does Terezi have some form of narrative control? She made it clear in one of the Epilogues that she was aware of Dirk’s narration. I’m going to assume that while Terezi herself can’t narrate, she can submit commands.

DIRK: I see you've found the command terminal.

Oh. So she can submit commands not through her own power, but because there’s one of those exile command terminals things on this ship. O.K. They have everything else on this ship, might as well have one of those too.

TEREZI: 1T S33MS TO M3 L1K3 L3TT1NG M3 BOSS YOU 4ROUND FOR 4 F3W M1NUT3S 1S TH3 L34ST YOU COULD DO TO M4K3 UP FOR WH4T PROB4BLY 4MOUNTS TO TH3 MOST BOR1NG 1NT3RG4L4CT1C VOY4G3 1N TH3 H1STORY OF SP4C3 TR4V3L

I don’t know, I think Jade’s voyage after Davesprite and John blew up might be a good contender for that title. Then again Jade had practice not having anyone with a degree of intelligence around to talk to. Then again she still had the internet on her island and could talk to her friends, unlike on the Prospit ship.

TEREZI: 4ND CONS1D3R1NG TH4T ON3 OF MY TWO PR1OR 3XP3R13NC3S 1NVOLV3D SCOUR1NG TH3 FR4CTUR3D, D1S1NT3GR4TING CORPS3 OF P4R4DOX SP4C3 FOR... WH4T F3LT L1K3 4N 3T3RN1TY,

Oh yeah, I guess that would also be a contender too.

DIRK: What, Heart and Mind?

TEREZI: M1ND 4ND H34RT, Y3S

I have a feeling Terezi purposefully switched them around to make her aspect first and to just be a tiny annoyance to Dirk.

Dirk, how dare you use Complacency of the Learned to even out a chair! Does Rose know you’re using her book like that?

> L1B3R4T3 L4LOND14N L1BR4RY

Thank you, Terezi.

TEREZI: DO3S ROS3 KNOW YOUV3 B33N US1NG ON3 OF H3R NOV3LS TO PROP UP TH4T DISGUST1NGLY T4CKY CH41R?

Terezi and I are one.

DIRK: (I captchalogue the book into my MSPA MODUS. Forget HASH MAPS, PICTIONARY, or any of that shit. This thing is where it's at.)

What the FUCK does MSPA Modus entail???

TEREZI: 4W WH4T TH3 H3LL

TEREZI: TH3 CH41R W4S SUPPOS3D TO F4LL OV3R

DIRK: I'm not sure I understand. Why would it? The four legs are all touching the floor.

TEREZI: ...

DIRK: Try not to think about it too hard.

Ha!

TEREZI: FOR SOM3ON3 WHO CL41MS TO KNOW 4 LOT 4BOUT JOK3S YOU SUR3 H4V3 CONT1NU3D TO S4Y B4S1C4LLY NOTH1NG FUNNY 3V3R

Oooh, burn! When I get around to doing my fourth read of Homestuck I’ll have to tally any instances of Dirk telling a funny joke just to see if this holds up.

For a second there I was really confused over what fractal nonsense was happening here, but then I remembered Dirk is controlling the narrative. That includes the pictures, not just the text.

DIRK: Not many really understand that when pleasure is taken seriously enough, it can easily mimic the appearance of business, just as when irony is practiced with enough passion, it becomes indistinguishable from sincerity.

So Dirk’s idea of loosening up and having fun, whether for the irony or sincerity of it, is drawing himself in romantic situations with Jake. Yeah, that pans out.

(Seriously, why is Jake such a heartthrob? John is described as dorky looking and he and Jake are practically carbon copies.)

TEREZI: DO YOU... W4NT TO T4LK 4BOUT 1T...?

DIRK: Absolutely the fuck not.

Terezi, did you seriously expect him to answer with anything else?

This feels like a meme image.

TEREZI: TH4TS TH3 ON3 TH1NG 1 4LW4YS FOUND D1FF1CULT 4BOUT M4K1NG COM1CS W1TH D4V3

TEREZI: YOU H4V3 TO DR4W 333333V3RYTH1NG >:[

God, hard agree. This is why I could never have a comic. As much as I’d like to I just get burnt out with all that tedious drawing.

DIRK: Exactly. But sometimes, visuals are just a more effective way of doing things.

DIRK: So finding the right combination of words and pictures to communicate an idea efficiently is where the artistry lies.

DIRK: And sometimes that means dispensing with one or the other entirely when appropriate.

See, this is why the Homestuck style comic is so interesting. I don’t think other comics combined panels and text like Homestuck did, and now there are so many copies of the style out there!

Woah, I feel like I just got whiplash with the disappearance of the panels!

For the sake of precedent, I'm saying that we can cloak the visuals entirely and continue with narration alone, replacing the panel with a block of text like this, which we can call a “prattle” from now on.

Right, so when we go into a more book-like format it’s a prattle. Got it. Good name, since it’s just Dirk droning on to himself.

So then Dirk narrates Terezi using the command terminal to get him to do a slew of bizarre actions. He says it’s to show how much can be done in a short amount of time (a single block of text as opposed to 50 panels), but I have a feeling the real reason is so that we, the readers, don’t actually get to see him doing any of this stuff. He doesn;t get an audience to such an embarrassing display and he gets to rub our faces in it.

She has me undertake the most intense workout routine paradox space has ever seen, all while whistling the entire discography of the Swedish pop group ABBA, which she's taken a liking to recently for some god forsaken reason.

Terezi likes ABBA? That’s amazing. I need a video of Terezi singing and dancing along with Dancing Queen now.

(... And which coincidentally was a favorite cultural weapon of Her Imperious Condescension back on Earth, centuries ago. Mamma Mia in particular was repurposed as a sugar-coated propagandist piece, calling for worldwide submission to the Batterwitch's dictatorship. "My my, how can I resist ya," as the old saying goes.)

HOLY SHIT. Now I just had a headcanon that all trolls love ABBA.

DIRK: I told you I could have fun.

TEREZI: Y34H YOU SUR3 SHOW3ED M3 1 GU3SS

Dirk, are you saying Terezi purposefully trying to torture you was actually fun? ... Are you secretly a masochist? Do you... Do you like being bossed around and forced to do ridiculous stunts? I am learning so many things about Dirk I never expected.

TEREZI: WH4TS TH1S TH1NG OV3R 1N TH3 CORN3R

TEREZI: UND3RN34TH TH1S B1G SH33T TH1NG

DIRK: Don't look in there.

TEREZI: OH SHHHH 1M ONLY T4K1NG 4 P33K

DIRK: Terezi.

DIRK: Listen to me.

TEREZI: 1M JUST L1FT1NG UP TH3 COV3R 4 L1TTL3 W4YS!!!!

DIRK: Terezi please stop talking right now.

TEREZI: D1RK HOLY SH1T

TEREZI: W

Well that sounds sinister. With Dirk I would think ti was a robot of some kind, but given his new hobby of collecting things from various timelines and his skill in building it could literally be anything.

At first I was confused at the three panels that follow, showing Dirk’s room in disarray, but then I rememebered that Dirk did a whole bunch of shit we didn’t get to see because we were in Book Time.

ROSEBOT: So, I guess today is finally the day everything's been heading towards.

I honestly thought she was going to say “today is finally the day we fuck everything up”. Not sure if the actual line counts as a callback or not now.

ROSEBOT: Instead, it feels like the very notion of fortune is simply out of the question as a means of describing the potential outcome.

ROSEBOT: As though in this moment, luck isn't either strictly real or not real, or somewhere inbetween, but absent of meaning completely.

ROSEBOT: Luck took one look at our itinerary from here on out and said you'll just have to go on without me.

So it’s Schrödinger's Luck of Who Gives a Shit? Been reading so much Dirk I tried to channel my inner Strider there. Moving on I feel like this is a very bad situation for Rose to be in. Her Aspect is luck, so what does it mean for her when she’s in a position like this?

ROSEBOT: You aren't going to believe this, but it turns out that the deranged horny ramblings of a spurned anime-obsessive have essentially no therapeutic properties whatsoever.

Rose is a gift.

I wish I could copy and paste Dirk’s whole spiel about the ocean, both literal and metaphorical, but since it’s Dirk it’s just way too long. Suffice to say I thought it was some lovely writing and really got the the meat of who Dirk is as a character. His loneliness, his fear, his eventual peace, what it means to be an ascended Prince of Heart. Good stuff.

DIRK: What's that noise I'm hearing.

DIRK: It sounds a little bit like a cat being caught in a ventilation fan. A sort of...

DIRK: Inhuman screeching, combined with the grinding of metal.

DIRK: Are we even going to make it to the ground?

ROSEBOT: Oh, no,

ROSEBOT: The ship's fine as far as I can tell.

ROSEBOT: That's just Terezi laughing.

Terezi is also a gift.

Then we end with a rather pretty image of the ship coming in for a crash landing on an Earth-like planet. I would share it, but it’s a tall panel and this post is long enough as it is. Very curious what this planet is. I would guess it might be a Earth, but the landmasses don’t look like any on Earth. Could be artistic license, but I feel like we have too many Earths as it is. Let’s get some new planets up in here!

#homestuck 2 #homestuck 2 liveblog #liveblog #gal liveblogs

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xelinielx · 5 years

Text

Wednesday - A JadeRoxy pirate AU one shot

This story is for my friend @tentiginouslogophile (Jade) whose birthday is today!! I failed at drawing pictures to this so you’ll have to settle for a short story heheh. It’s a bit messy because it’s hard for me to find motivation right now, though I really wanted to give you something today. I hope you’ll like it anyway. Happy birthday again! I love you!! I will probably rewrite this when I get my motivation back so it will be as great as you are 💕

Warning: contains a lot of fluff, the striders being dumbasses and implied smut.

Out of all the pirate ships sailing the Sburban sea, two stood out and were renowned as led by the scariest captains by all who saw them - but their crew wouldn’t agree.

Pirate captain Roxy Lalonde on the Mutie was actually one of the most absent-minded people on the planet. If they were born in the 21st century, her crew would have likened her with the pirate captain Jack Sparrow from the pirate movies, and Roxy would find that absolutely hilarious.

She was a good captain though, despite not always acting like one. In battle, she was a scary blur of swordstrokes, and she had gotten the nickname The Cat from her enemies. They all saw her as a terrifying force of nature, but her crew, who had more than once seen her throw up over the edge of the ship and fail to pet their aggressive ship’s cat, didn’t agree in the slightest. There was only one pirate brave enough to fight her.

Captain Jade Harley.

They had been fighting for as long as they could remember, always chasing each other and trying to beat the other. Today was the day they would clash again.

Jade Harley was seen as eccentric by her crew. She was brave, fast and had no hesitation in throwing herself in dangerous situations when needed. Also when not needed. That’s why her crew felt more like babysitters most of the time. “No captain, diving from the top of the mast is not a good idea in this storm.” “Captain, if you try to steer the ship through that gap it will sink.” “JADE FOR FUCKS SAKE DON’T TRY TO SHOOT THE SEAGULL WHILE WEARING A BLINDFOLD!”

Her enemies called her The Witch. She appeared out of practically nowhere with her ship, cannons firing rapidly. In the harbors there were people spreading stories about how she must have contacted Feferi the fabled Sea Witch and sold her soul for power.

The first time Jade heard those stories, she’d laughed so hard that she got the hiccups and couldn’t talk normally for the rest of the day. After that, she of course made sure to scream some long difficult words that sound like a spell to spur the stories even further when she fought the crews who dared oppose her.

Jade kicks the door to her quarters open with a well-aimed strike and steps out onto the deck, striking a grin. “Good morning everyone!” she exclaims and puts her captains hat over her unbrushed mess of black hair.

“‘sup Jade!” Dave calls out from atop some barrels where he’s sprawled out, eyepatches over both eyes. He was supposed to be the lookout but he was usually too lazy to do so. He also never wanted anyone to see his eyes, so he looked rather comical with the eyepatches.

“Is it Wednesday again?” Rose, the first mate asks and rolls up the map she was analyzing. Jade saunters over and smacks her hands on the table with a huge grin.

“It sure is! Let’s go to that island we passed last night. I’m sure they’ll be there.” Rose had long since learnt not to question her captain’s directives. Somehow, she always manages to get them to where they are supposed to go — even if it’s the complete wrong way according to Rose’s very accurate maps.

Sometimes she felt like she wanted to believe the sea witch rumors. “John! Prepare the cannons,” Jade shouts down a hatch, jousting the poor boy from his sleep by scaring him so bad that he crashes into the ground.

“Not Wednesday again,” he mutters and goes off to work the cannons while wrapping a blue napkin around his head.

Jade flops down on the deck and starts to pick apart her gun to clean it. It’s an important day after all, and she can’t have it ruined due to poor gun maintenance. What would grandpa say? The fact that she cleaned the gun yesterday doesn’t matter.

Dave groans as he hears the telltale clang of metal objects hitting the wooden deck and Jade humming.

“Is it fucking Wednesday again? Wasn’t it Wednesday like yesterday?” Jade giggles and throws a dirty rag on Dave and takes out a new one. Dave jerks back and almost falls off the ship.

“Shit man don’t scare me like that.” He slips off the barrels (in the right direction) and takes a seat with his back against them. “Like do you want me to die before we even fight? That is so uncool of you. And you call yourself our captain.”

Jade shuts out Dave’s usual rambling and focuses on her gun. When she’s gone over it three times, she’s satisfied and puts it back together.

“There’s a ship to starboard, Captain,” Rose calls out after a while. Jade gives Dave a disapproving look that he doesn’t see.

“And what a good lookout you are then,” she complains before running up to Rose, who is steering the ship.

She could identify that flag anywhere. “It’s them all right,” she says, face turning serious. From the way people start moving on the other ship, Jade knows that they have seen them too.

I mean not that a huge pirate ship is that easy to hide.

“To your stations!” Jade calls and runs over to the side of the ship, tying a rope with a hook securely to the side. “We’re boarding them!”

It doesn’t take long for the ships to close in on each other. Jade scans her opponents with a stern face. There is the black haired guy who wields two small guns and uses weird words to threaten them. What even does “Tally-ho!” mean? Then, there is their cook who doesn’t really like to fight. She holds a kitchen knife in one hand and looks uneasy. She will be easy to take down.

There is the blonde guy who wields an odd sword and looks even dumber than Dave. They seem to have the same mindset about letting people see their eyes- and seeing, apparently. The only difference is that this guy’s eyepatches are cut into triangles. How does that even work?

And then, staring straight at her, a sword and pistol in each hand, blonde hair flying in the wind is no one else but the ship’s captain and Jade’s nemesis.

“Roxy,” she says, and the grip on her gun tightens.

Roxy’s painted lips curl into a smile, and the sun reflects off the small black cat she has dangling from an ear. “Hi there Jadie.” She places the back of a hand against her hip and blows a lock of hair away from her face.

Jade takes a moment to take note of the sleek, fancy pink coat with golden buttons adorning Roxy’s body, the headband she has tied around her head and the white tights ending in knee-high boots.

She can feel Roxy’s eyes scanning her, seeing the loose white shirt, her large captains hat and green pieces of fabric tied around her waist into a loose, comfortable skirt.

Jade can almost feel Dave roll his eyes. “Prepare to be boarded!” Jade suddenly shouts, knocking everyone out of their staring contests. She throws the rope over to the other ship and runs over on the taut line without even swaying. Her crewmates (except for John, who runs down the hatch to the cannons) grab ropes and throw them onto Mutie’s mast, swinging themselves over. They are not going to run over a rope. In just a few moments, swords are clanging and shots are fired.

Dave and Dirk engage in a fierce battle in the front of the ship. Their swords clash together with skill and precision — the fact that neither of them can see doesn’t seem to matter. They attack and block quickly, engaging in a dangerous dance.

On the opposite side of the ship, Rose is using her sword to strike Jake’s pistols rapidly, trying to keep him from shooting. She uses the ship to her advantage, swinging her sword to urge Jake into a more vulnerable position. Jane seems to have disappeared down into the ship again. That’s just as well.

In the middle of the ship, Jade and Roxy cross blades. They whirl around each other, anticipating each other’s moves. Roxy makes a jab with her sword, and Jade slaps it away with the front of her gun, twisting around to pound the back of it into Roxy’s stomach and make her loose her footing for a moment.

But only for a moment. Roxy charges immediately, knocking Jade against the edge of the ship with her shoulder. Jade kicks Roxy’s legs before she can regain her balance, but Roxy slips her gun behind Jade’s back, knocking her to the ground with her.

They tumble around for a moment, Jade knocks the gun from Roxy’s hand with a slap from the flat side of her blade as she struggles to get out on top.

Roxy fights back and straddles Jade, holding her sword at her throat. She feels some metal touch her chin, and her eyes dart down to see Jade smirking with the nozzle of her gun aimed at her. They make eye contact for a second, then two.

Unanimously, they drop their weapons, and Roxy leans down to kiss Jade as Jade leans up to meet her lips. Jade’s hands land on Roxy’s waist, and Roxy places her hands on either side of Jade’s face, gently brushing her hair out of the way.

The rest of the world fades away as the two of them relish in the feeling of each other. The closeness of their bodies, the beating of their hearts, and the taste of the each other’s lips.

Roxy knocks the stupid hat off Jade’s head, grinning against her lips. Jade retaliates by slipping her hands under Roxy’s coat, feeling the soft skin of her stomach.

“Hell no, I’m not watching this.” The two of them part to look at the intruder. Dirk is staring straight up into the sky, triangular eyepatches still over his eyes. Roxy snorts and gives Jade another peck on the lips.

They slip into Roxy’s quarters and shut the door as their crewmates sit down together at the back of the ship. Jane comes up to join them with a few bottles of rum, and John shows up too after a while.

“You’re getting better,” Rose tells Jake after taking a swig of the rum. “Just a few more years and you might beat me.” Dave snorts and almost chokes on the drink.

They chat and joke together until the sun sets. There are several empty bottles of rum between them, and at some point, Jane went away to get them some food to snack on as well.

They hear the giggling before they see Roxy and Jade slip out of the hut. Roxy’s coat is buttoned in the wrong holes, and Jade’s hair is even more of a mess than earlier.

“Clean up after yourselves,” Jane groans and rests her head against the floor, knowing that no one will listen.

Jade and Roxy hold hands, smiling warmly at each other. Jade leans forward to place another kiss on Roxy’s lips. “Same time next Wednesday?” she asks. Roxy can see the sun set in her green eyes.

She places Jade’s hat back on her mess of black hair and kisses her nose with a giggle. “Next Wednesday.”

With those words, Jade’s crew returns to their own ship and Rose sets the course for wherever she likes, as she does every Wednesday.

As the ships part in different directions underneath the night sky, two captains stand at the far back of their ships, staring longingly at each other across the sea that mirrors the stars in the sky until the other ship disappears from view, waiting for the next Wednesday.

#happy birthday jade!#homestuck #jaderoxy #roxy lalonde #jade harley #dave strider #dirk strider #john egbert #jane crocker #jake english #rose lalonde #piratestuck #homestuck pirate au #pirate au #ill rewrite this when my mind doesnt want me to stab myself dhkshdkdf

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

Text

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-19

Figured an upd8 was coming, it’s felt like enough time has passed for one.

Huh, looking at my last post I’d completely forgotten I was supposed to play through Pesterquest sometime... work is busy and stressing me out a bit, I’m not sure when I’ll have the energy on the side to do that. (Maybe I’ll livetweet it like I did Undertale a while ago, but this time not looking at my twitter replies so I don’t get spoiled by One Guy™?)

Also, including bonus commentary on A Threat Sensed.

Okay, going in completely blind. I’d guessed from context that we’re hopping over to Meat side to get a chapter there before we can come back to actually see Yiffy?

Yep. Okay, what is this about exactly?

(Agh, dammit, I’ve been copying and pasting so much at work remoting into Windows lately that now I’m automatically trying to hit control-C instead of command-C to copy.)

> CHAPTER 9. How Goes The Eulogizing, Dear?

CONTENT NOTE: This chapter contains Child Abuse.

Which one???

Wait

JANE: (Where is he?) JANE: (It's a question I've found myself asking many times in recent days.)

Holy SHIT we get two Candy chapters in a row??? So we might see her right away?? No, it’s gotta just be another tiny glimpse.

(Has two Candy chapters in a row happened before? Future Boots, scroll back up and put this here. FUTURE BOOTS: “I forgot to scroll back up and put that here.” EDIT: Also, not the first time with two in a row, but it IS the first time with THREE in a row, huh.)

So Jane has to be talking about either Tavros or Dave. --Oh, if this was a Candy Side chapter title, I guess Rose or Jade is eulogizing Dave for John?

> (==>)

JANE: (Where now is our merry savior?) JANE: (Where is the horn that was honking?) JANE: (Where is the cape and the codpiece, and the...) JANE: (The...) JANE: (Oh, fiddlesticks.)

What? Is she reading a childrens’ book? --Oh. She’s eulogizing Gamzee. So that gives us a third option, where the rebellion crashes the funeral somehow, probably audiovisually rather than in person. (Which would make sense, given Candy practically began with Gamzee crashing Dirk’s funeral.)

> (==>)

Ah never mind, she’s still writing it.

That sure is a single button drama-remote that’s going to be pressed at some point. Oh, and who the fuck keeps a spork in a pen cup??? --No no, don’t say it’s one of those pens with a spork at the eraser end, either ready-made or rubber-banded to the side. That would make sense. You totally know it isn’t that and is just a spork.

JANE: (Okay, poetry is out.) JANE: (What else?) JANE: (Hrm...) JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.)

Why were you crying in Jake’s arms about his death if you didn’t care that much? Did you just want him to hold you and kinda make him feel in on things again? Or did you just cry yourself out about him?

JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I bet the rest of Earth C figured out a more inclusive term millenia ago FUCK I accidentally added millennia to my dictionary misspelled instead of correcting it hold on--

...There, killed the entry for it. ...Huh. Take a look at my Chrome dictionary’s custom-added words over the years, apparently:

Caliborn Eridan Kanaya Matriorb Meenah Tavros alchemiter dichotomic nephilim reblogged uncaptchalogues uncaptchaloguing

That’s fun.

Okay back to reading. Millennia. Phew! Where was I.

JANE: (One really good and calculated weep could do it, I think.) JANE: (But then there's the danger that I might get carried away and do it for real.) JANE: (And I can't risk that.)

So still feeling something, just too used to calculating over the past years.

JANE: (What can I say about him that will stir up their emotions?) JANE: (Do I mention the stuff about the milk?) JANE: (Think Crocker, think.)

WHY would you-- how much did Gamzee normalize adult breastfeeding?!

JAKE: Ahoy over there!

Not the best time.

(The thing with the divorce papers from the Epilogue and John implying he was planning with Jake to execute something that sounds like a divorce... is that going to be sprung here? Did her lawyers send the divorce papers way back when she was in a fit of pique, and he just had them available to sign now at the tactical moment? Or... let me pull the exact text...)

JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along. JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being. JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later. JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today.

(So is John going to submit the papers? Or did they already go through a while ago and default custody to John or something who’s going to adopt him too or some nonsense? And did he plan this out with Jake NOW, or a while ago, and if only a while ago, is Jake going to KNOW whatever John’s about to pull in that respect is about to happen??)

> (==>)

Butte

Janepalme

> (==>)

JAKE: Er... how goes the eulogizing, dear?

Gah. I completely forgot again that capitalized-first-letter chapter names don’t mean KANAYA is saying them. That probably makes a lot more sense out of my wondering about the chapter title earlier to those of you who didn’t realize I was making that mistake.

JANE: It turns out that it's mighty difficult to find touching things to say about a person, the relationship with whom was predicated on deep-seated mutual loathing.

Hah!

--A loathing you regarded as largely more important to you than Jake ever was, by the way. You asshole.

JANE: I imagine this is one of the reasons no funerary tradition was ever established on Alternia, besides the barbarism of their culture. DIRK: Jesus christ. JANE: Not only did a significant proportion of their interpersonality depend on romance in the form of hatred, but it was a society based on cruelty and violence. JANE: What reason could they have had to provide for the dead? JANE: What kind of last rites could they have even imagined?

I wondered for a moment why (bg!)Dirk of all people would react to a single line of her starting to bring up prejudices, but then I realized that (1) Brain Ghost Dirk is a little more Jakey, and (2) Dirk knew that more ranting would follow the first line.

JANE: I can't think of anything good to write about him because deep down, I hated his guts. JANE: But he was and is beloved of the multitude, so I have to think of something regardless. JAKE: Im not sure i understand. JANE: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. JANE: This is politics, Jakey. JANE: Lying through your two front teeth about people you hate is about as good a definition as it's possible to get. JANE: But, by gum, is it tiring work.

Mm. It’s a position Jane put herself in, but it’s still a legitimate position once you’re there.

JANE: The funeral is tomorrow, after all.

Got it.

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

Wait, bowl?

Oh god damnit which of you had the idea to feed her with a DOG BOWL. Either of you could have thought of it, and either of you would be horrible for it.

> (==>)

Huh, that outfit on Yiffy looks familiar, like a reference to something. And a black tail? This definitely isn’t quite the look I was expecting from Jade Plus Rose, but I suppose the snazzy tie is a Roseish vibe. Also reminiscent of Jade’s old Dead Shuffle dress. Formal wear and soccer cleats??

JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN. I don’t see anything over her mouth! Did she stick something in it, or drug her? File her fucking teeth???

I mean I did forget the Child Abuse trigger warning to be fair. Hoping whatever would be on her mouth is just not shown in-panel yet for stylistic reasons.

> (==>)

JAKE: Its only mac and cheese, sorry. JAKE: Its all I know how to make, haha. JAKE: ... JAKE: I um... hope you can safely partake of cheese? JAKE: ... JAKE: Well, JAKE: Bon appetit.

How the fuck did Jake eat on his island then? --Oh right, preserved food cans that Grandma Jade stored up, I think I remember. Why would cheese not be a thing for them, if it’s fine for Jade? I know he’s probably not just worried about lactose intolerance.

Either way, if she’s drugged here, that’ll mean we won’t get a good idea of her for a while, so which is it...

> (==>)

DIRK: Bon appetit. DIRK: Seriously dude? JAKE: (What? Did i pronounce it wrong?) DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???) JAKE: (I feel awful enough as it is without you getting on my case about it.)

Ah, missed the bone pun. AND, yeah, Jake, you’re a fucking idiot, you could have put it in a cup or something.

JAKE: (So far ive yet to see anything come of that brilliant plan of yours.) JAKE: (Are you sure sending that message to the others was enough?)

Okay, so he IS coordinating this slightly.

> (==>)

Horrifying image to contemplate, eh Jane?

Or anger-inducing?

> (==>)

Seems about right!

> (==>)

Oh that’s a GREAT exasperated Jane face.

JANE: I hope you're not expecting dessert, young lady.

I like how Jane didn’t notice, comment on, or care about the bowl. How can you hate a kid so much??

> (==>)

Oh I know why I felt like I recognized the outfit style, it’s because it’s ANIME AS FUCK. Feels like some Persona 4 Arena nonsense, and I say that not having played any of those games or even remembering what they looked like. Also, white hair, black fur’d dog parts? Nice change of pace.

YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR... JANE: Oh no you don't.

Red text? What color exactly... “#D00009”? Huh. That’s nowhere near Alt-Callie’s #FF0000, and darker than Dave’s #E00707. In fact, let me go back and check those spilled color pins the commentary pointed out from an update or two ago... no, the red pin is #E63225, closer to Dave’s color. (Also, is Yiffy blocking the doorway out? That’s a pretty slack chain then.)

Did Jane see to it that she wouldn’t bite with like, a water spray bottle?

(EDIT: Oh my FUCKING GOD, THAT's why it's #D00009...)

> (==>)

FUCK I didn’t notice the shock collar in the Yiffy image! FUCK YOU, Jane.

> (==>)

Keeping someone in line with collars, especially ones that punish whenever one strays out of line, has always been a decent way for her to mix in some Doomy control of others to show how she’s “grown” to balance her main role and her Tiara-controlled-like inverse for more power. Doom in part represents boundaries that you can’t cross without getting hurt or punished.

> (==>)

FUCK, those little buck teeth!? D’:

JANE: That's more like it.

She HAS to have more of a reason for hating her than hating her parents, right? Like, more than that and general racism applying to partdogfolk?

> (==>)

Hey fuck off with that!

> (==>)

This is a pretty cool ima-- are those piercings on her dog ear? I didn’t notice that in the first shot, neat.

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over. JANE: Do I make myself understood?

What the fuck? WHY would you do that? Why does Jane run "Ms. Paint’s Home for Inconvenient Girls”? What did Yiffy do to piss her off so much there, how much trouble could she have caused?

I don’t know if she’s referring to the behind-Kanaya’s-back part as disgusting or she’s just being MORE racist.

> (==>)

JANE: We don't want you passing out during the ceremony, do we?

Oh, just showing the hostage off during the clown funeral, huh? Classy much?

> (==>)

JANE: Now, be a good hostage and get some rest, Yiffany dear. JANE: We've got a big day tomorrow.

For a politician, Jane’s not good at looking at herself in a mirror.

> (==>)

JANE: Night night. JANE: Hoo hoo.

> (Yiffy: Lights out.)

Huh, dream stuff is gonna be relevant out in Candy then? *click*

Okay, dark background all of a sudden. Properly dramatic? You even have to highlight the non-link “>” part of the Next link to see it.

> (==>)

-- thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG] --

Well, I don’t know WHY it’s happening, but the white-backed pesterlog suddenly on the dark site framing is certainly evocative. Of like, a mood, or something.

TG: i thought he was pretty quiet down there. TG: we'll make a rebel of him yet! AG: Lol. AG: I think it's more that he can't sleep. AG: I know how he feels. TG: yeah. TG: today was a lot. AG: ... TG: do you wanna talk about it? AG: Ugh, not you as well.

It’s really jarring to transition between Homestuck’s “kids jarringly mentally resistant to freaking out about the end of the world” to HS^2′s more realistic “kids traumatized by their first firefight even though it was an overwhelming victory-escape”.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Are they about to have an “I wonder what Yiffy’s like” talk?

> (==>)

Very similar Tav/Vrissy convo to the previous one.

GG: I havent ever shared a bedroom before,,, GG: Not even for a slumber party,,, AG: Tavvy, you are just a8out the saddest person I've ever met.

Well, we have an even better idea how horrible Jane can be with kids, now. From Nanna to THIS is quite jarring. I wonder how the double Nannasprites that must still be around here somewhere feel?

> (==>)

TG: nothing about my dad is cute. TG: what are you even saying. AG: Lmao. TG: seriously! TG: i think he has something against that word, even. he gets super weird about it. AG: He's a strange and funny m8n. TG: yeah. TG: ... TG: i think something bad must have happened.

...um. What? Why would John have some sort of trauma about the word cute or being called it?

Did John dress up as a hint of his buried June ambitions as a kid and Dad lavish him with “SO CUTE” praise in an epic supportiveness backfire that caused him to shelve the idea of wearing non-masc clothes and being happier on the flipside of gender ever again??? Because if that’s how June gets canonized as promised, it’s a little harsher than the back of my mind was hoping. I guess it kind of had to be though from the premise of how it was read into his childhood for the original idea, though. Fuck, I hope this Cute business is about something different from that (like a Terezi reference or such) just to get less John Sads. (But still June. Definitely still want to get June.)

> (==>)

Oh, and now Vrissy is doing nothing but talking about what she said she didn’t want to talk about, of course. (Also I like how JANE’s now being called the Batterwitch.)

AG: And the worst part was they didn't even fight a8out it! AG: That made me madder than 8nything else. AG: It felt like I was the only person who even W8S mad! GG: I dont think thats true,,, AG: What would you know a8out it?! GG: Maybe nothing,,, GG: Sorry,,, GG: Its just,,, GG: To me,,, all the way through the conversation,,, aunt kanaya looked even angrier than you,,, AG: ... AG: Adults are so fucking weird.

Guh, I don’t want to be reminded how hurt a good chunk of the fanbase is by Kanaya getting hurt this badly.

Original Tavros was always SLIGHTLY perceptive of others sometimes, but maybe perceptiveness is being hinted at as a Tavros specialty? We still don’t know his classpect/hero-title or have any firm guesses based on purely him evidence. (Also, frightened kids of abusive households tend to learn to get perceptive pretty fucking quickly I hear.)

> (==>)

TG: dad was sitting in the cafeteria with aunt jade and your moms. TG: it looked like they were discussing something important... they were whispering and stuff.

[etc etc] Alright, the what-happened-to-Dave bit. And I imagine they’re kind of helping John grieve there, since Rose and Jade have talked that out already.

TG: aunt kanaya's was the only face i could see. TG: she was standing next to them, but she wasn't looking at what was going on. TG: almost like she couldn't bear to. AG: I doubt it. Kanaya's got a8out as much Emotivity as a very reclusive stone. TG: ok, i think that is bullshit but whatever. TG: she saw me standing there, but didn't say anything. she just shook her head slightly, and pointed back out into the hallway i came down.

Yep, giving them some space to grieve. Also-- gosh, shouldn’t Vrissy have the same emotive senses that Aranea implied Vriska shared with her? Kanaya isn’t that EXPRESSIVE but she’s certainly full of emotion. Also, I hope part of her not bearing to watch wasn’t lingering anger toward Jade and Rose mixing with that, but there probably was a bit of that too, though Dave being gone is so much harsher than that. --I just realized they might not have broken the news to Karkat yet, either.

AG: I guesadxcxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz TG: vrissy?

Put to sleep by someone slumping down on your phone keypad, or surprised by something about the other conversation?

Oh shit, “other conversation” reminded me I didn’t look at Tavros’s chumhandle:

glutinousGymnast [GG]

HHHHHhhhhuh. Hm... huh? hhhh. huh? what, but. Why would. ?????

I really don’t understand what that chumhandle or any of its entendres should signify in this context.

Also, this means for our new four kids we have TG, GG, AG, and ??.

> (==>)

GG: I think she might have succumbed to sleep quite suddenly,,, GG: It would explain the,,,,,, interesting messages I've been getting for a while,,, TG: hehe. TG: i guess that tracks. TG: she does that from time to time.

That’s... strange. Homestuck’s taught us to be suspicious of that.

TG: ... TG: tav? GG: Yes,,, harry anderson,,,? TG: what does it feel like to know someone who's died?

Who is Harry referring to? (EDIT: Yes I know Gamzee for Tavros, but I meant Harry talks like he's worried he'll have to feel that way soon?) Is he just kind of inferring that something bad might have happened to Uncle Dave? Got that perceptive “parents are about to tell me about a death in the family” vibe? Or did he overhear more than he let on to Vrissy?

...alright, that’s the last page of this update. Looks like this chapter is going to continue to have a good bunch of grieving, or talk around it.

---

Now for Bonus Commentary for A Threat, Sensed. For some reason I have a dim memory of like... reading this myself without commenting on it? Or skimming it? But I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that. Weird. Must have imagined doing it.

Ah, I think I saw the opening paragraph scrolling Patreon, and my mind kinda filled in the blanks, this is still looking new to me.

Okay, mostly banter and japes in the commentary here. About Dirk “throwing a huge tantrum in his philosophy cave”.

We’ve had quite a bit of speculation on whether this is “really” Andrew. To that, I think we’d say that it doesn’t “really” matter.

Really? That was speculated about? :/

Here we discover that Dirk has not, as some people have speculated, been directly intervening into the Candy timeline, or influencing it in any way. In fact, he has a very hard time seeing anything going on there at all.

Mhmm, and that was a pretty important thing to learn.

A couple of years ago I might have agreed with the take that everything happening in Candy is simply too outlandish to ever happen naturally, without direct, villainous interference, but that was before literally every fucking batshit insane thing that has happened on Real Life Earth started going down, and now I will believe literally anything.

This is a nice bit of distraction from the idea that at least the opening parts of the Candy story were written/narrated by Original, Alive Calliope over on meat side. To refresh your memory of what was pointed out to me:

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls TEREZI: WH4T? ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise ROXY: some of it is like ROXY: weird and violent?? ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

Which tracks with the initial out-of-character-seemingness of almost everyone at the start of Candy, and how they kind of tried to railroad things back onto the “Happy??” track after Dirk derailed it with his weird self-accumulation suicide, along with some of the flowery-idyllic descriptions of characters seeing each other bathed in a halo of light and such.

Of course, they’re not going to out-and-out STATE that Calliope was at fault for that narration, helping the Candy story not necessarily fall out the way it did “naturally”, until we finally get a glimpse of her on the heroes’ ship in Meat probably still painting the continuing Candy events, inspiring them into the void of the singularity with her latent powers. Til then, it’s a bit of misdirection whenever the topic is to be brought up. Along with a mix of Roxy’s late-Candy point to John of more or less “why COULDN’T we have done this naturally? you don’t know”.

He might even think that he has more direct power over the narrative than Hussie does himself. Surprise, motherfucker, you are a fictional character.

I’ll quote this next part in full:

There’s been talk of whether or not this bonus was written in the two days between its release and the Yiffy reveal chapter. The answer is--no. It was written over a month ago. But I think the things it addresses were not difficult to suss out. Obviously, Dirk is highlighting the issues that the readership are having with Yiffy, in his typical Dirk fashion. If it seems a little defensive, well...I suppose it is. Yiffy is one of the two hard lines drawn in the sand, and all of us love her, and we’re hoping that everyone else will love her too. But more than that, it focuses on the fact that update culture has a rhythm to it--shock, revulsion, acceptance (or not), and then excitement (or not). Will it follow that pattern this time? Who knows. I guess we’ll find out.

Yeah, given what was going to be dropped on us I expected they would have had exactly this lined up, especially because Andrew specifically mandated Yiffy. --I wonder why they aren’t mentioning that somewhere in the commentary and only on one of their Twitters?

Also quoting this:

There’s something both incredibly “cringe” and self-indulgent, as well as philosophically intriguing, about the author arguing with his villain, especially since he’s writing both halves of the conversation himself. You are, for all intents and purposes, trying to solve a problem that you have created for yourself. You are looking an aspect of your personality in the eye and asking, hey, what the fuck, man?

But in the end, isn’t that what every story is? Trying to untie knots that you put in the rope yourself?

Since it’s part of the central struggle of this story, and kind of the question Andrew’s tried to imply with every Homestuck work about what right we have to keep these characters trapped in a story, and if they’d be better off escaping it.

I’m really trying to avoid quoting so much of this, since the commentary is paid... but I think we can make an exception here? I’ll have only quoted about half of it; just, the really plot-important half. Plus, I left out a LOOOT of japes.

Dirk has a certain idea of how stories are supposed to go. That’s pretty much what the Epilogues is about. The audience also has a certain expectation of how a story is supposed to go. In a way, the Epilogues were also about that. They were taking a story that had reached the traditionally “acceptable” happily ever after, and saying, wait, no. What happens next? Thinking past happily ever after in any story is a terrifying prospect. Once Cinderella marries the prince, what then? Sure, she got what she wanted, but who knows that it will be everything she dreamt it would? What if she changes her mind, if not today, what about ten years from now? What if the prince dies of malaria?

And I’m...

Yeah I don’t have anything else to add here, I’m kind of out of brain juice to think about this tonight. BUSY day I had. Y’all take care!

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots #spoiler #spoilers #Homestuck Commentary

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waitineedaname · 5 years

Text

Hal Strider: World’s Worst Roommate

also on ao3!!

Hal was up to something. He was acting too normal. Hal was never normal. Something was up.

Dirk stared at him from across the room, trying to decipher what he might’ve done. He couldn’t have hacked into his computer and retweeted Muppet porn again; he’d set up new firewalls yesterday and Hal was a good hacker, but he wasn’t that quick. They’d been within eyesight of each other for most of the day, so it was unlikely he’d sneaked into his room and hidden his stuff either. So what was it?

Apparently he’d been staring for too long because Hal sighed loudly and looked up from his laptop to fix him with the exaggerated look of exasperation he knew he reserved just for him. Fucker. “Look, I know I’m a gift on the eyes, but the staring is getting a little weird, bro.”

“What did you do?” Dirk asked, cutting to the chase.

“Should I pretend to not know what you’re asking and list off everything I did today, or just be straight up and tell you ‘nothing’? Let’s see, first I took a shower - which was cold, by the way, you wasted all the hot water boiling yourself like a lobster - and then I made breakfast-”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” Dirk narrowed his eyes. He knew Hal couldn’t see it behind his shades, but he also knew Hal knew exactly what he was doing. Hal’s own shades were propped on top of his head, so Dirk got the full effect of his over-the-top eyeroll.

“I didn’t do anything to you. Or your phone or your computer.” He added when he noticed Dirk getting ready to speak. “This might come as a shock, but my life does not revolve around you. Sorry bro, but you ain’t that important.”

Dirk was still suspicious, but he decided to drop it for the time being. “Whatever,” he said, standing up. “Do we still have any Fanta?”

“You know I don’t drink that stuff. It tastes like orange piss.”

“Says the asshole that pours five hour energies in his coffee.” Hal just shrugged as if to say “guilty as charged” and Dirk shook his head, tired of his bullshit. He went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of soda, and when he came back, Hal’s shades were back on his face. He got the distinct impression Hal was watching him as he took a sip, and he panicked for a split second. Did Hal actually piss in his drink? Was it poisoned? But it tasted normal, so he let himself relax minutely. Hal didn’t say a word.

It was only a few days before Dirk completely forgot about the weirdness. Things went back to normal. Hal played nightcore versions of My Little Pony songs at 2am. Dirk drank his orange soda and Hal concocted increasingly unhealthy caffeinated things for himself. They went to their jobs and classes and hung out with their friends. Dirk bonked into the furniture because Hal had moved it all slightly to the left to fuck with him. The usual.

It was a month before Dirk realized exactly what had happened.

He and Hal were out to dinner with their weird conglomeration of friends and family. Dirk always wondered how two unpleasant people to be around managed to have such a large social group, but he’d given up questioning it. Dirk had paused in the story he was telling his corner of the table to take a sip of his Fanta, and he immediately grimaced.

“Hey Dave, does this taste weird to you?” He asked, sliding his glass over. Dave looked suspicious, so he quickly added, “I’m not trying to fuck with you, I’m just making sure I’m not imagining things.”

Dave took a cautious sip, then shrugged. “Tastes like Fanta. Artificial and diabetes causing as always.”

“Really?” Dirk took another sip and shook his head. “I swear there’s something weird about it. It’s not spicy enough.”

Suddenly everyone was staring at him. He stared back at them, doing his best not to shift uncomfortably. “...What?”

“Dirk,” Jake said slowly, a few seats down, “Did you say your soda should be spicy?”

The realization of what had just happened hit Dirk like a bus, and something cold settled in his stomach. He looked over at Hal, whose face was a perfect recreation of the knife cat meme.

“How did you do it?” Dirk said, voice dangerously quiet. Hal had apparently never developed the part of his brain required for fear and continued to look smug.

“A drop of hot sauce in your soda. I slowly upped the dose until you were so used to it that you couldn’t even tell.”

There was a soft “holy shit” from Roxy’s direction further down the table. Dirk and Hal continued to stare each other down, then quick as a flash, Dirk was across the table and grabbing Hal. Hal shouted and squirmed, smacking at him, but the one thing Dirk could confidently say he was better at than Hal was wrestling, so they ended up half on the floor with Dirk holding Hal in a headlock and Hal pulling on his hair and smacking his ear.

“Son of a bitch!” Hal yelled, and Dirk knew they were causing a scene, but dammit, he was at least a little justified.

“Boys!” A sharp voice said from above them, and they both froze. Standing above them with her hands on her hips, looking for all the world like a stern mother, was Jane. “Dirk, let go of your brother.”

“He-”

“Don’t you dare say he started it, Strider, you’re a grown man.”

Dirk snapped his mouth shut and tensed, then slowly let go of Hal. Hal squirmed away as soon as he could and stuck out his tongue before he also got fixed with Jane’s razor shape gaze.

“Hal, apologize.”

There was a split second where he looked like he was going to fight it, but he seemed to know it wasn’t worth it, so he turned towards Dirk. “Dirk, I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.”

“Sorry you don’t have any taste.” Hal said with a shit eating grin and Dirk made a strangled noise in his throat.

“You piece of shit!” Dirk lunged for him again, and Hal hit his head on the table next to him trying to get away so fast.

“Nope, get up!” Jane wasn’t even yelling, but somehow she managed to intimidate them both into submission. They both stood and Dirk would like to say he wasn’t cowering, but there was something about Jane Crocker’s fury that would make anyone feel like a scolded child. Or at least, it made him and Hal feel that way if the way Hal was slouching and pouting next to him said anything. “Hal, we’re switching seats.”

Hal opened his mouth to complain, thought better of it, and took Jane’s seat. She traded their cups and sat herself opposite Dirk, giving him a pointed look until he finally sat down.

“I can’t believe he managed to condition me into thinking soda should be spicy.” Dirk grumbled, poking his straw in and out of his drink.

“I hate to say I’m impressed, but…” Rose shrugged and Dirk sent her a look. Apparently an ability to look like a smug cat ran in the family because the face she made was just as shit-eating as Hal’s. “Are you going to finish your story about the weirdos in that class you TA?”

It wasn’t worth it to keep causing a scene, so he reluctantly went back to the conversation he’d previously dropped. The rest of dinner passed in whatever semblance of normalcy their group could have, and Dirk somehow managed to avoid interacting with Hal until their plates were being cleared away. His eyes landed on the half empty bottle of hot sauce sitting next to the salt and pepper, and he grabbed it.

“Hey, Hal.” He said, and the moment Hal looked over at him, he tossed the bottle over. “I bet you won’t drink all of that.”

Hal made a face down at the bottle. “Just because you’ve ruined your liver, doesn’t mean I have to. We don’t have to be twins internally too.”

Dirk bit back a comment on how technically it was Hal that had been ruining his liver for him, and he instead went for a weak point. “If you’re gonna be a coward about it…” He let himself trail off and managed to withhold a smirk when he saw Hal’s jaw stiffen. There was something of a staring contest between them, an interesting feat between two pairs of sunglasses, then Hal shrugged, suddenly a picture of casual.

“Anything for my second favorite brother.” Hal said. Dave started to pipe up and say “You only have two-” but Hal had already untwisted the cap and was downing it all in one go.

Jade whispered “gross” a few seats away, and Hal slammed the now empty bottle on the table, wiping his mouth gently like he’d simply been taking a sip of water, not chugging pure Tapatio.

“Are we going yet or what?” Hal said, and the slightest bit of hoarseness in his voice sent a thrill of victory through Dirk. He wasn’t sure which one of them had won, but that was damn satisfying.

Now he just had to hope Hal didn’t try to get back at him again.

#dirk strider #hal strider #lil hal #homestuck #jane crocker #all their other friends are there #but dave jake roxy rose and jade only have one or two background lines #okay to reblog #my writing #i'm reposting this bc it wasn't showing up in the tags and i'm smad

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