Dirk and Roxy grew up on earth C, Jane and Jake had earth B and the beta kids had earth A.

I was gonna argue Dirk and Roxy grew up on the same planet as Jake and Jane just in the future, then I read the wiki and my brain hurts

Lately I keep thinking about environmental campaigns since roughly my childhood had to play up rainforests as these bright, shiny, heavenly fairy-tale utopias in order to get people to care about them. But in older media they're like dark, terrifying, brutal primordial deathworlds, the "SAVAGE UNTAMED JUNGLE!!!!" to the point that we still call the same exact thing a "jungle" in media if it's supposed to be more dangerous and exciting, even though there's really no technical distinction there. The reality though is that both are simultaneously true. I keep going on this rant lately but everything scary, painful, disturbing or dangerous about nature IS beautiful and wonderful and awesome!!! It fucking sucks that the majority of people only want to care about nature if they can comfortably hike it in their jorts and their crocs and only care about animal species if they're pretty to look at, useful or cuddle-able. "Rainforests" are absolutely kickass brutal primordial deathworlds. They're beautiful and precious and fantastic but they are also places where leeches will rain down on you from the trees until all your clothes are bloodstained and stinging ants the size of your thumb will make you feel like you're burning to death with a sting and one scratch from that adorable little monkey can torture you to death with sepsis. You'd never even guess, from how rainforests are portrayed on TV, that the thick canopy means they're actually dark as shit 24/7.

We get told piranhas actually aren't scary and that's true! The dreaded candiru is also so unlikely to attack humans we still don't know for sure if it really happens! But you don't hear about the Amazonian catfish, the size of a piranha, and incidentally also sometimes called a "candiru catfish," that convergently evolved with a cookie cutter shark and comes out at night to bite big round scoops of flesh from unsuspecting thighs:

I would love to meet all of these terrible awful things and I want them all to thrive forever and ever. Please love nasty things. We are nasty things. We're the nasty things planet and it rocks.

CG: AND IF THIS WASN'T BAD ENOUGH CG: YOUR "SOLUTION" LATER WOULD BE TO OPEN A RIFT IN SOME GLORIOUS GESTURE OF MEANINGLESS SUICIDE.

Karkat seems convinced that the Scratch is suicide - but this is an early Karkat, who doesn't really understand the situation. The Rift is the last thing he can see, so he assumes it's the end of the line.

White Carapacian jumpscare!

The last time we saw the Exiles, WV had just revealed the White Queen's Ring - which means that, unless I am very much mistaken, a new god is about to be born.

The critical question, of course, is whether a pseudo-First Guardian can teleport in and out of the Medium. If so, Jack's reign of terror is about to be interrupted, and we're about to learn why he doesn't instantly kill the Players - he'll be distracted by a rival.

EB: so, she prototyped becquerel? EB: why is that so bad? [...] CG: HER LUSUS EXHIBITS THE PROPERTIES OF A LEGENDARY ENTITY CALLED A FIRST GUARDIAN. CG: IT IS AN ABSOLUTE MONSTROSITY.

But he was a good dog. Jack, decidedly, is not.

It's worth speculating about what other effects Becquerel's prototyping will have. Jack is obviously the most immediate consequence, but Bec isn't just in Jack - he's everywhere. He suffuses the session.

Even Underlings will contain some First Guardian energy. They can't have Bec's full range of abilities, the same way Sgrub's Underlings couldn't unleash the Vast Glub - but I'm sure they're still grossly overpowered. Even if Jack wasn't a factor, the game would still be on Nightmare difficulty.

And what of the Battlefield? What effect will the Green Sun's rays have on its appearance, or the world it's supposed to spawn?

This feels like an ingredient that absolutely should not be part of your universe - and if First Guardian energy has made its way into The Tumor, we might have an even bigger problem on our hands than Perfect Jack.

Every station knows what's going to happen to it - so, naturally, this one has an 'undo getting blown up by Becsprite' button.

If only the Earth had one of these...

CG: AS THE DEFENDERS OF THEIR PLANETS, THEY'RE VIRTUALLY OMNIPOTENT. CG: PROTOTYPING ONE IS ABSOLUTELY UNCONSCIONABLE.

There's that misaimed 'omnipotent' again. I guess it doesn't really matter if it's technically not accurate - as far as an average Player is concerned, First Guardians may as well be omnipotent.

...although, Jack isn't really a First Guardian, is he? He's just wearing a ring that lets him exhibit the traits of one. I doubt he's as powerful as Bec, and his connection to the Green Sun might not be as strong - which is, I think, why Rose believes she can use it against him somehow.

ok ok ok it's star trek update time. last time we watched tng's "liaisons" and ds9's "the circle."

liaisons (tng):

the summary of this one put me off soooo bad but i actually give it an enthusiastic pass because i loved the b plot but conned myself into also liking the a plot. allow me to explain

the b plot of this is of course the fantastic riker e worf e deanna showing the ambassadors a good time on the enterprise. this arc satisfied me from start to finish because it started with riker telling worf he looked good in a dress and finished with worf beating that annoying guy's face in, and in the middle there was also a poker game and whatever the FUCJ was happening in their little meeting room which was extremely fun and flirty

i have not forgotten btw that worf e deanna is supposed to happen in s7. im so sorry the actors hated it but rn it is Fueling me. bring it on.

the a plot is more complicated and the summary of this plot is what initially put me off

like, of Course it's picard and a woman. again.

here's what i didn't know: one, this woman was batshit insane and not to be trusted, and 2, she wasn't real but a fake roleplay character made by this alien. who is a man

THAT MEANS. NOT ONLY DID PICARD FINALLY GET HIS OWN CLOSE ENOUNTER

BUT IT WAS WITH A MAN

picard has canonically kissed a man. or um been kissed by one i guess

and all of that would have been just borderline and barely ekeing out with a pass EXCEPT

i had the thought near the end of this episode: q would be absolutely SICK

as we know. the funniest thing about q and indeed perhaps his only redeeming factor. is how bad he wants to fuck sir patrick stewart. which gets ONLY FUNNIER the more that sir patrick stewart is like, i would fuck literally anyone else in the galaxy first

and now here picard is, having liplocked with another guy, and he STILL hasn't fucked q. i spent so long giggling about this that i simply must give the episode a passing grade

also, i would like to note i figured out they were the same person before the episode told us. i am JUST that good

the circle (ds9):

KIRA MY BELOVED.....................................

absolutely tickled to pieces with the ensemble scene at the opening. first we had this nice little prolonged kira and odo moment 😍 which was so wonderful because of their like general dynamic and history being hinted at and then EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF THE CAST SAVE SISKO got their sitcom intro. it was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. they were like, you simply cannot be dismissing major kira unfairly. so true. once again it is so cathartic to see them rallying around her whether they're federation or not. literally treating her really niceys

AND SISKO! his little scene with her in the garden down on the planet...wah. he's literally constantly trying to get her back. his support even when she's no longer technically working for him...EVERYBODY treats her really niceys

um except that vedek guy...idk whether he's on the level or not and i DID NOT like whatever sexy stuff was going on in that orb vision. putting aside the hilarious reality of orbs in general for a second are the prophets saying she has to fuck that guy? not my beautiful queen.

um and also except the circle. i didnt actually see the plot twist coming this time about that minister guy being in on it which is very fun. also i'm sooo glad they staged a speedy rescue

ODO THE RAT! i love when he turns into stuff

also odo blackmailing quark into being his deputy lol i LOOOOVE what they have it's SO funny

anyway i hope vedek winn chokes on her oatmeal when she finds out the cardassians are funding her little r*n d*santis campaigns. i thought that was a fun plot twist if not very surprising ultimately like of COURSE they are. it's crazy how relevant some of this still is

and on a final note, i like that sisko has chosen to Rules Lawyer his way into disobeying the prime directive because it is the right thing to do here. GOOD FOR HIM!

tonight: tng's "interface" and ds9's "the siege," finally concluding this little three-parter.

20 Questions for fic writers

@five-and-dimes, @signiorbenedickofpadua, AND @cuubism all tagged me in this, and when three of your favourite writers ask you to do a thing, you do it. SO! Here goes.

How many works do you have on Ao3?

A nice round 25 😊

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

540, 538. I should update my portfolio.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sandman, right now. Technically I still write for Doctor Who and maybe Lucifer but frankly it's all I can do to manage one fic right now, so.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They're mostly Lucifer fics, I'm surprised. I thought AWFA would have passed them by now. The Devil You Know (1955), 100 Ways (1696), What Dreams May Come (1626), White Days (1533) and rounding it out with Doctor Who, Fool Me Once (1474). I'm kinda proud of that last one.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Usually, yes. I try to.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really write angsty endings tbh. Not my jam. Probably a toss up between the ending of The World is Unraveling, because it ends on a cliffhanger, and maybe Out of the Cold, because it ends ambiguously, but nothing I'd characterize as angsty.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mean, the rest are all definitely happy, enough that I have trouble picking just one. The first one I thought of, though, is To Hell and Back, because it ends with a wedding.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully not. The worst I get are vague comments about "I wish you hadn't written it like this" which are hurtful, but I ignore.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

The ace kind. In that, I've been told that my smut reads like it was written by an ace person (it was a compliment).

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I write crossovers very rarely, because I find they tend to stray crackier than I intend. However, I am pretty proud of the Doctor Who/Lucifer crossover I wrote based on the Impossible Planet episode. (Mistaken Identity)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so. I've had people write their own version of my fic? Which was flattering, but also made me feel kind of odd.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of. That would be really cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really, no, unless bouncing ideas off a discord counts.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I don't have one. I get REALLY into one ship in the moment, and then I move on to the next, which doesn't mean that I love the previous ships any less, or that I love the current ship more, it's just what happens to be bouncing around my brain at any given time.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Can I answer 'all of them'? Truthfully I think Locum Tenens has to take that spot, I started posting it with the notion that getting traction on it would make me want to continue, but the idea of writing what I have planned for it is SUCH a daunting prospect. I never say never but that fic will be a LOT of work.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character. I'm good at keeping voice consistent, at getting into a character's head and really understanding how and why they would react a certain way. I'm also really good at making connections, at drawing on things from canon to use in a new light.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am SLOW. I only put something down if it's what I really want to say, and I edit as I go, so my pace usually hovers around the hundreds of words per hour. I also think I'm bad at writing emotional scenes, but in this I compare myself to others, and I know that's a false dichotomy, because obviously my writing isn't going to affect me emotionally the same as someone else's. I just feel like I consistently fall short of the ideal in my head, but I guess that's common to all writers for the most part.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Awkward, generally. As a linguist, I couldn't live with myself if I didn't get everything absolutely perfect, and it's hard for me to justify including whole lines in a different language in a fic written in English. That's not to say I've never done it, but most of the time if I want to use other languages I'll just pepper in a few words here and there.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I'm going to draw a distinction here. The first fandom I wrote for, where I was on tumblr and engaged in actual fandom stuff, was Doctor Who. My first published fic on Ao3 was for Dragon Age (Skyhold Slept), and my first fic I ever wrote (published nowhere, I was twelve) was for LotR, but I did not, and still don't, consider myself a part of their respective fandoms. Maybe that's a silly distinction, but I consider immersing myself in and engaging with other fans and content an integral part of how I write now, when it hasn't been, historically.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

That's like asking me to choose between my children. I'm going to cop out and say every fic is my favourite while I'm writing it, so it's Another Word For Ache. Sorry I don't have a more interesting answer to round this off.

Aaaaand I feel like a lot of people have been tagged, so how about @themirokai, @delta-pavonis, @thewollfgang, @moorishflower, @eidetictelekinetic and anyone else who wants to play!

Souvenir. (Pt1)

"Doesn't this seem kind of...cruel?"

His CO stepped forward into the patch of grey, the crunch of buildings under the capybara's boot sounding as he took a step. "How so?"

He looked down at his feet at the large spread of tiny grey blocks. Buildings no larger than the claws on the mouse's fingers. They'd been tasked of clearing this area for a planned expansion of their colony, an easy job considering the only thing to clear out was the planets native species. From what he knew they were a very primitive species that had barely invented rockets, still decades away from warp technology, that stood barely stood a micrometer tall. "I mean, these guys are sentient...aren't they?"

The capybara halted for a bit. "Probably. But if we don't these buggers will crawl into our electrics and cause damage." He took another step, erasing another section of the tiny city under his treads.

"Doesn't that mean they're protected under the federation's sentient species act?" The mouse asked, still standing at the edge of the city. He could see tiny flickers of explosions going off at his boots, the meager resistance of the tiny species.

His CO scoffed. "We're not in federation space." The capybara raised his foot again and placed it down slowly, another crunch rung through the air. "Besides, can you imagine how hard it would be to colonize this planet if we had to accommodate these specks?" The capybara dragged his foot to the side, bulldozing down a huge section of the city and reducing it to a flat patch of dirt. "Hell, we wouldn't even be allowed to walk close to their cities and those things are everywhere."

Eleos felt a pang in his stomach. Even if this wasn't technically illegal, he still didn't feel too comfortable doing it. "But if they're sentient doesn't that mea-"

"Look." The capybara stopped. "Sentient or not, it doesn't change the fact that they're too small for us to treat them as such. I mean-" He bent down and plucked up one of the tiny buildings from the ground, holding it between his fingers. "Can you imagine trying to integrate something this small into the federation?" Suddenly he clamped his fingers together, the building between the crumbled into dust in an instance.

"I-i guess not." Eleos admitted.

"Exactly." The capybara wiped his finger on his suit and rose to his full height. "Now stop wasting time and get to clearing, i want to get this done today." He said as he started taking slow, deliberate steps around the area.

Eleos nodded. He looked down at the edge of the city, tiny vehicles that looked more like specks of sand still trying their best to deter him with their primitive weapons. "Sorry about this." The mouse said softly as he raised his foot and stepped into the city, the crunch felt under his boot had a chill crawl up his spine.

Wiping out the city didn't take long, especially with two of them at work. Eleos admittedly dragged his feet during it due to his sheer discomfort he had with the whole thing. He could see lines of the tiny populace form outside the city, trying to flee the destruction and while his CO always made an effort to crush those as well, he opted to ignore them.

While he understood how important this colony was to his empire, and how urgent it was for them to claim it as quickly as they could. Even if they left this planet alone, that wouldn't mean their enemies would do so as well. Though he imagined it didn't really matter to the tiny species if his empire or another empire arrived here, the result was always the same.

He stepped down on another section of the city. The tiny weapons explosions going off on his boots had slowed down significantly. Likely they'd realized how pointless it was to fight and were focused on fleeing, during the whole task he hadn't felt a single one of those weapons do any damage, they hadn't even scuffed his boots.

Eleos hovered his boot over another section, allowing it to linger in the air for a moment. He did so in hopes that anyone down there might have a slight chance to escape.

Suddenly, something struck him on his shoulder, throwing his balance and causing him to step down prematurely. Eleos glanced over his shoulder to see his CO standing beside him with a smile.

"Having fun?" He asked.

Eleos tensed up. "Uh i-"

"I get it. You kinda get lost in it. It's like popping bubble wrap. I'm gonna go take a leak." He chuckled. "I got a small section left on north end of the area. I'll let you take care of it since you seem to be enjoying yourself so much."

Before he could get a word in edgewise, the capybara stomped off, heading off to some mounds to the side for a little bit of privacy.

The mouse glanced to the north section. Sure enough, there was a small patch of buildings that hadn't been crushed yet. Eleos grimaced a bit. Where as he took a systematic path, starting from the center of the area and working himself to the edge with his clearing, the capybara tended to start at the edge and form circles, creating pockets of the city surrounded, or rather trapped by his destruction. It was an effective means of keeping them from escaping and forming settlements elsewhere.

He raised his foot over the section and slowly lowered it. As he got close, he froze.

Usually when he stepped down he could see the tiny explosions of their weapons on his boot but now, he couldn't see anything. Not a single shot was being fired on him.

Eleos couldn't help but imagine what they might be seeing down there. To his empire, this was just a simple process of setting up a colony on an unclaimed planet, on the record this planet wasn't even occupied. But to that tiny species it must have looked like literal hell. Titanic beings invading their home and eradicating them underfoot. It didn't feel remotely fair.

The mouse moved his foot away. He glanced over his shoulder to see if his CO was looking. There was no sign of the Capybara anywhere. Eleos quickly dug into his backpack and pulled out a small sample case that he'd forgotten to return after the last mission outside the colony. It was a bit too small for the patch that remained of the city but it had to be better than nothing, right?

Carefully, he scooped up city section the best he could. Some buildings crumbled in the process but miraculously he managed to get most of it into the container unharmed. Eleos stowed the container back into his backpack and hid it under his change of clothing.

"Look, i know it's fun to take your time, but I'd like to head back soon."

The mouse jumped a bit. Behind him was the capybara, still working on zipping up his suit after relieving himself behind the rock mounds. "R-right."

His CO gave him a nod and glanced down. "Ah, missed one."

Before Eleos could react, the capybara moved his boot over the small patch of buildings that didn't fit into the container, placing a heel on the edge and slowly lowering it over the span of a second, a prolonged crunch sounded as the boot hit the ground fully and then, silence.

"Alright. We're done here." The capybara sighed. "Let's head back and report the area as cleared."

Eleos grasped the straps on his bag tighter. "Right."

I'm easily summoned by every variation of "ask me about (whatever)" so for the 5 things, can you please answer for Da-Qing who I know just enough about to enjoy your answers, and maybe also Gideon the Ninth?

no pressure but i do look forward to your asks every time! always so delighted when you participate <33

for da qing:

Do you love/hate/not feel strongly about this character? i mean, he's a cat. so obviously i love him. i met a cat yesterday who bit me and she's still the most perfect creature on the planet and i love her to the ends of the earth forever, as is just and proper.

What’s your favorite trait of this character? he's a total slacker motivated only by people making food for him. CAN RELATE.

What’s your favorite moment/event involving this character? when everyone is freaking out about who's going to be in charge while lao zhao is gone and it never occurs to anybody that maybe da qing…the deputy…would be in charge? i love a character who sucks at his job and he knows it and everybody else knows it and they're all like this is our emotional support second-in-command who doesn't do anything except nap in sunbeams. a man after my own heart.

If you could have one power/attribute/etc. of this character, what would it be? not to pick the most obvious thing but he can turn into a cat. well technically he is a cat all the time no matter what he's shaped like, but you know what i mean. i want to be cat-shaped. i want to have a fun bendy spine. i want to make cat noises!

Have you ever pictured this character naked? yes. no. technically. kind of? see other ask.

When did you fall in love/hate with this character? If you don’t have any strong feelings toward them, why not? i don't remember but let's say...the first time he tries and fails to speak Cat to kittens. teeny kittens stumbling around in an alleyway while he dangles a fish on the line in front of them and grouches at them…exquisite. no notes. love a guy with amnesia who's making it everyone else's problem. meanwhile, unless i'm mistaken, cong bo is spying on him like...okay what the actual f. this show is a comedy.

Who’s your OTP for this character? i don't have a romantic otp for him. it's probably best if he stays off the dating market, if he's going to go on dates in that HORRIBLE suit. but obviously brotp with zhao yunlan. the relationship between a boy and the cat who raised him and doesn't remember having pledged eternal fealty to the boy's adult self when he traveled back in time ten thousand years ago is actually something that can be so personal.

for gideon:

Do you love/hate/not feel strongly about this character? i love her. also i would laugh at every single one of her puns.

What’s your favorite trait of this character? very hard question. i think my answer is that i love how sad she is. specifically i love the way that was communicated to us - we saw things through her narration for two books, then the first time we saw her from the outside, not only was she totally fucked up from The Horrors but she was also stripped bare of the obfuscation of her own narration. she's always been sad but she was hiding it from us. i also love her sense of humor and how much she cares about things, but those are both the same as the first thing. runner-up: her angina dentata. yes that's what i'm calling it. as of right now.

What’s your favorite moment/event involving this character? god what kind of question. probably when she takes back over harrow's body to fight the heralds and cannot stop mentioning how little harrow works out.

If you could have one power/attribute/etc. of this character, what would it be? upper arm strength definitely.

Have you ever pictured this character naked? nope.

When did you fall in love/hate with this character? If you don’t have any strong feelings toward them, why not? i don't remember but i'm gonna guess it was either when she didn't know what salad was or when she went ham on that trapdoor because she thought harrow was dead or dying on the other side of it. (she was right.)

Who’s your OTP for this character? wow i do not have an answer. this seems like a gimme of a question but if i really think about it it's actually very hard. i don't know. i don't know!

This is the anon from cartoonrival’s blog! What are your Sonic lore recommendations?

If you mean media through which to learn sonic lore, then I'd honestly recommend the wiki (Sonic News Network) first and foremost. There's a looootttt of different canons, different interpretations, etc etc and the wiki catalogues all of it! It's a much easier option than trying to play all the games and read all the comics and watch all the cartoons yatta yatta

If that is something you'd wanna do (or at least, some of it) then here are a few of my personal recommendations for some of the sonic lore (gameverse, again theres a lot of different media with its own canon so i'll just focus on gameverse for this ask)

Sonic Adventure: SA1 has a lot of focus on the ancient echidnas, Knuckles' tribe, and their history. If you were intrigued by what the movies did with them and wanted to see where a lot of that came from and how they are in the games, then I'd recommend playing through or watching a playthrough of Sonic Adventure!

Sonic Adventure 2: Personally my favorite sonic game. I cannot recommend this one enough, it has one of the best stories (imo) out of the whole franchise. Unfortunately the English localization is notoriously bad/muddles lots of plot details, and the channel that housed the Japanese cutscenes with faithful English subtitles recently got (completely unfairly) deleted. I think you'll be fine with the English cutscenes if you're just casually looking into this game's story, but if you want a better picture that's more clear/accurate (and have 2 hours to spare) then I highly recommend this video that goes over the entire story with an emphasis on the original Japanese version. SA2 is Shadow's debut appearance (and was originally supposed to be his only appearance), so if you're a Shadow fan and want to learn about his backstory + get a feel for his character (or just want to experience a super well-written story that gets pretty dark) then this is definitely one of the games you'll want to check out!!

^ (also its story in general outside of shadow is really good everyone is characterized really well and its very enjoyable - it's rouge's first appearance too if you want to see how she was originally as well!)

Sonic Unleashed: Personally I've never played Unleashed, but a lot of people really love it! It's got beautiful graphics, great soundtrack, and (relevant to this ask) it has some major worldbuilding which still appears to be canon today, concerning the planet Sonic and friends live on - and some ancient gods, you know how it is. (Oh and Werehog Sonic AKA God's greatest gift to humanity. he fluffy)s

Lastly, I'll recommend the IDW comics again cause why not. They take place in the same canon as the gameverse (although they're not canon to the games... assumedly) and build off of them. They're really good at bringing back things from older and more obscure games in a way that doesn't feel forced or confusing, so if you want something that has a little taste of everything then I'd once again say to check them out!

I know this isn't a lot, but "lore" is kind of hard to quantify. Every canon sonic game would technically count as "lore" I guess, since it's a new story installment, but I'm not gonna ask you to play/watch every single sonic game LOL. I tried to just pick stuff that focuses on things that happened in the past pre-sonic & friends since that's what comes to mind when I hear the word "lore"

Sorry if that wasn't quite what you were asking for, your wording was a little confusing for me ^^; if you want other recommendations or want to clarify, just let me know!

For all the flack the Ferengi's presentation gets in TNG's early seasons, I feel like this was actually a better direction for them to go in than what we got later on, especially in DS9.

Sure, they jump around like feral children and the mouthpieces they wear impair their speech, but as silly as this is, it also is one of the most properly alien sets of behaviour in early TNG. With the exception of aliens like the Q or the Borg, which aren't entirely humanoid, most of the aliens on the show veer towards a more restrained, late '80s/early '90s adult American set of mannerisms.

The other thing they really did well was that the Ferengi also had a very alien set of weaponry compared to Starfleet. For the most part, a Star Trek alien's ship might have phaser banks and photon torpedoes, or maybe disruptors instead of phasers, and maybe a cloaking device on top of that. At most, the exotic weapons will be something like "...and here's a missile with a fancy sounding name, but we won't actually tell you how it's different from regular photon torpedoes."

This wasn't the case with the Ferengi. In The Last Outpost, the D'Kora-class marauder is shown to have electromagnetic pulses that fire from an aft weapons array, and when they beam down to the T'Kon planet, they're carrying the energy whips. Both of these speak to a different design lineage than the Federation was used to.

I think from a storyline perspective, these were also good weapons for them to have. Stuff like the energy-dampening weapon used by the Breen in DS9 were more powerful, but they were powerful in a way where introducing a technical countermeasure that'd become standard fleetwide or having there be some sort of simple limitation that could be taken advantage of easily was inevitable. This was the same deal with the Zalkonian weapon that disrupted the Enterprise's life support systems in Transfigurations as well.

This wasn't really the case with the Ferengi EM weapons. They were in that sweet spot where even though they were novel, they weren't overpowered to a point where there'd have to be an episode where they worked out how to overcome it or abuse its limitations somehow. It could have just been a weapon that was part of a sufficiently alien arsenal that Starfleet hadn't encountered them previously.

It's a similar deal with the energy whips. I know why these weren't used that much after The Last Outpost: there were issues with the special effects involved with them, so they were largely discarded after that. Still, conceptually I think these were cool weapons for aliens to have, and they did make the Ferengi feel more alien then just having them have a different kind of pistol like most other aliens had.

I think having energy whips also speaks to the Ferengi cultural mindset as well. In early TNG, they were leaning more heavily into the idea that the Ferengi were militarily Starfleet's equal, but they were always hypercapitalist. Slavery is the kind of thing that you'd expect these guys to deal in, so having an energy whip would make sense. This is the kind of thing they'd use to discipline a slave for a perceived transgression--in that case as literally just a whip--or as a combat weapon, where the energy discharge would be used.

This is where the comical, almost grotesque, element of their presentation in early TNG comes in as well. I guess this wasn't really as politic to say in 1987, but a lot of capitalists do have that kind of grotesque comedic element to them. I mean, following whatever is going on with Elon Musk or Donald Trump is very similar to watching a major car crash and being unable to look away. If it weren't for the fact that these are two of the most powerful, most influential people on the face of the planet, you probably would see them in a very similar light to how most viewers see the Ferengi.

This is exactly why they should have stuck the course with the Ferengi's original presentation. The way DS9 tried to backpedal on this was a mistake. Having Quark come out and say that the Ferengi hadn't ever fought an interstellar war in The Jem'Hadar and having that largely fit with how they're presented in the show is much sillier than the overt silliness of the feral, hyped up children presentation in The Last Outpost.

The fact that they were silly and difficult to take seriously in early TNG is exactly why they're fucking terrifying. As amusing as they might be, a Ferengi will whip you and steal your coat just as easily as he'll play nice, just like a real billionaire. A minor disagreement could lead to a bizarre but ultimately harmless tantrum, or it could lead to an actual shooting match.

Ironically, this style of presentation is one of the most explicit fuck yous to capitalism imaginable, but the shows shy away from it entirely. Yes, a real life billionaire, especially one that's old money, will be well educated and occasionally even well mannered, but in terms of actual mindset and values, they're basically aliens compared to most people. At their most overt silliness, they're just like a Ferengi.

I think this is the angle people really struggle with when it comes to that early TNG style of Ferengi. Even though they are mostly just silly, that style of presentation easily could have been more terrifying than the Borg and just as insightful as the DS9 Ferengi if they had have stuck with it. Instead of the overt Rom starting a union style episodes we ended up getting, we could have had episodes that make it very clear just how ugly capitalism is for large chunks of the world.

I don't know if the main Trek audience would have been as receptive to this in the '80s and '90s, though. For the most part, these were people in the developed world for whom capitalism was working. They didn't necessarily want to hear about the kind of conditions that have to be endured in large chunks of the world to make it feasible for them to live as they do, much as they don't now.

To them, this style of depiction probably would have been a little bit too real. By the same token, I feel like a more brutal Ferengi probably would have been better. As they are in DS9, most people can write it off as a joke, even if they don't really agree with the underlying message. A more overt depiction would have forced them to consider it.

It also would have done a much better job at highlighting the relative merits of the Federation at its best, and its greatest failings. Quark might get some good lines here and there about how humans aren't so different from the Ferengi when push comes to shove, but this would have gone from being "funny up until it isn't" fodder to being deeply off-putting if the Ferengi had have always been taken seriously.

While early TNG Ferengi have their issues, overall I sorta feel like people make mountains out of molehills with it in general. Yes, they can be a bit annoying, but literally every member of the main cast has at least a few annoying moments in the first season, and with the exception of Wesley, none of them are treated with as much disdain as the Ferengi are. If they had have become the main villains they were originally slated to be, they would have grown out of that eventually, much like everyone else did.

Get in my business asks

3, 62, 93, 99

3: tattoos! I have a bunch, but technically most of my first tattoos (stick and pokes I did in highschool... I know) have since faded without a trace lmao. What's visible is two forearm tattoos, one of the Eye of Providence on my right arm, and on the left a large Icelandic stave (kinda like old sigils theyd put on boats and armor and stuff?) called "ottastafur", which means "strike fear in your enemies". I got it as a sort of not so obvious tribute piece to one of my favorite artists, who also has a tattoo of a similar stave. Then on my clavicle/right shoulder, kinda, I have a small coffee cup with stars and planets around it. My best friend and I designed it together, and we both got it together, so whenever we hug mine (on the right) bumps hers (on her left shoulder) :] She and I met working in a coffee shop and for many years have had a silly inside joke where we call each other "space wives", hence the motif lol.

And aside from that, right now I am working with my friend who does tattoos to design a little BKMN piece for the nape of my neck. We are thinking thick black line work of a slightly cracked egg and a needle with thread. :) Alternatively I might just get two little faces from the comic on the back of my shoulders, one lil wegg face and one lil neighbor face, and then the nape of my neck would have a lil Trudy mask.

62: an earthquake... I guess once technically! Like ten years ago or something there was an earthquake that was so intense we felt it on the east coast, but it really just kind of shook everything around the same way I'm used to a train doing. So it wasn't too weird haha.

93: Broken a bone... yeah! I once broke a rib while working, and I also broke my ankle many years ago falling off the schoolbus lol. I'm lucky, both were closed simple fractures, so I've never had a *really bad* broken bone.

99: Someone who didn't seem real.. Probably gonna have to be when I met Jay McCarroll at Juniors after a show. Must have been about a decade ago now. He was a massive inspiration for me as a kid, and because of him I love costume design. He did costume design for a bunch of the artists that performed so we just happened to both end up at Juniors after the fact. I was SO nervous, but he was just an absolute sweetheart and willing to dish/vent about the artists he worked with without me even asking... which felt really cool ahaha. We shared a plate of rugelach and then he suggested we take pictures like we were going to prom. They're incredibly ridiculous and funny. It still doesn't feel real.

What are your thoughts on tRoS

Okay so this has been in my askbox for four years geez I'm sorry. I apparently wrote something that I'll go ahead and paste it in below. The thoughts I had are similar to how I feel now: It could have been a much better film, but Abrams has a tendency to make mystery boxes and not plan out the ending, so the prior film threw a wrench in an already uncertain conclusion. Anyway here's the whole thing:

TROS...is a movie. Idk, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. JJ Abrams did what he could with what Ep 8 left him with, but also it's his fault that Ep 8 happened cuz of lack of planning, so he kinda dug himself in his hole. It's kinda gonna be difficult to talk about because I've only seen the movie once and I don't usually go back to theaters to rewatch films so I'm just gonna struggle; also I purposefully waited cuz I had no thoughts, but really I should have taken that as a sign that it was overall mediocre, because generally I have thoughts about a film right away if I liked it or disliked it. I did get spoiled on Ren, Leia, and Palpatine dying, but the only surprise out of the three was Ren. And even then it was like an "oh, okay then." I thought he was dead when Palpatine flung him, and I thought that was very unceremonious of the film to do that, but then he died a more noble way, so yay! I guess. Still weird he had to die, seemed kinda forced just so they could have a major character die. Which leads me to circle 'round to Chewy (we'll come back to the kiss later). I thought that was, once again, very cheap and quite unceremonious; my first thought was "Really? They're really going to kill off all the original trilogy characters?" (in this case meaning Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewy). And then they didn't let the characters mourn properly. And then they negated the anguish by having him be alive. How?! There was only one transport ship! I liked the festival planet as a concept. Ultimately the fact that a festival was happening meant nothing, though. OH, the kiss. Hooray, Reylo shippers got their wish although technically it was Ben not Ren but shshshshsh don't burst their bubble. I mean the whole scene after he crawled back up was leading up to it, and the scene earlier where she heals him had the same energy, so I'm not mad about it. [edit: still almost a bit odd though.] Her taking the last name Skywalker was so cheesy. I know cheesy things happen in Star Wars, but rarely does it ever feel so predictable [edit: in a bad way] (my reaction being "of course! of course she would"). It should have been she just...continues going by Rey. IDK, her taking the name Skywalker seems like something JJ thought was a cool idea and wasn't budging from.

The sequel trilogy is honestly kinda a bust for me. TFA is the only one that has the potential for substantial rewatchability, although even then that's dubious. (I remember going into the film thinking Finn was going to be the Jedi...)

Anyway I put the tl,dr above. Subsequent Star Wars media has been hit or miss, but I've heard good things about Andor and I still need to watch it. I'm not super optimistic about most of these other projects. The Mandalorian should have ended with season 2 and Grogu should not have returned (or the very least should have had Din go off on his own), but they don't know when to end a story I guess.

Gonna pretend to be normal today. It's like reverse Halloween, right? Look pretty on the outside, but a total fucking hurricane on the inside. I tried to delete the photos of her in my phone, but that felt shitty.

How do you just delete someone? What the fuck do I do with these photos? I don't want to look at her face. Every time I see photos of us together or random creep shots I took of her while she was in her happy place, I literally physically want to vomit.

Like a gut punch from god damn hell.

Thank Gary for Google Drive. I'm just gonna dump all of our photos into a file online and leave it there. Like burying a time capsule, but nobody can dig it up and steal your homemade porn before you go back to retrieve it one year later.

Yeah I know that's specific, but I speak from experience. You're welcome, whoever stole my porn. I hope you go to prison for possession of child pornography because I was definitely 16 when I made those.

I'm definitely going to delete all of the sexy and naughty things I did, though. Gross. I really hate it when I do naughty things and then I have to look back on them later. Like cool Sandy, you are one desperate slut for sending these to your girlfriend. Needed attention and validation that bad, huh?

I know that's mean to myself. I would never say or think that towards anyone else. In fact I love getting nudes and sexy videos. They're special. Not so much when they are from the past. Like awesome I love being treated the exact same way you treated your last fuckthing, but it's still hot. Just not as cool as getting your own personalized special nudes.

God I'm fucking salty today. It's just part of the mourning process I guess. My friend told me to treat the breakup like the grieving process you go through when someone dies. I guess technically my girlfriend did die. In a way. Weird.

I don't think I'm doing it right though.

It is supposed to go in this order: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.

I definitely went for Denial first. I knew she wanted to break up weeks ago. I saw it in her eyes the night we went to Boise to play magic. Everything was off. My heart was already breaking a little bit, just by feeling the energy shift. Call it intuition, but I knew she was already there. Then I gave her space, even though I was scared. Even though I knew giving her space was going to help her break up with me. Every woman does this. When they want to break up. They ask for space. They wait for things to fester and they distance themselves. To soften the blow when they finally get the moxie to "rip the bandaid off." I tried to tell myself maybe she won't. Maybe she'll feel better, but I knew better. I've done this a hundred times with other people.

Then I went in for bargaining. Skipped anger and went straight to bargaining. Asking her if I could just be there. Telling her I'd rather put my needs completely to the side if that meant we could stay together and work through things eventually. Asking her if we could just focus on her and put our relationship on the back burner for as long as she needed.

She rejected that. Then I went straight into depression. Scroll down for a novel of sad girl garbage. Being emotional and emo is so embarrassing when you have to re-read what you were thinking. Like god, Sandy. Get over yourself. There are people being firebombed to death in their own homes just for existing and you're over here crying because you can't handle a little bit of Bipolar Disorder and a really clean breakup.

Now I'm just angry. Not at her. At myself. At life. I'm just angry that I'm stuck here on this stupid planet in this stupid body living my stupid life. I'm angry that my brain can't just stop being Bipolar. I'm angry that one day I want to die and the next day I feel immortal. I'm angry that I'm never going to feel normal. I'm fucking angry.

It would be super cool if I can just skip over to acceptance now. Here's a fucking selfie. To remind myself that yeah. I'm an angry fucking basket case. An absolute wreck of a woman, but at least I'm hot.

It's Saturday and I'm in the mood, so let's talk about Elijah Kamski

Specifically about how he treats his Chloes. Obviously this is an opinion, and everyone is entitled to theirs, but as I read Chlonnor ship fics (they are adorable and I am unrepentant), I notice that a lot of them have Chloe becoming a deviant after Connor chooses not to shoot her. I don't have a problem with this, per se, but I have noticed several things in game that makes me think she's already a deviant.

1. The other two Chloes are already deviant

It's a small detail that tends to get overlooked because you're busy focusing on meeting Elijah and "OMG, Amanda's dead??" and later whether or not Connor actually shot Chloe. But these two girls right here?

They're talking. They're chatting with each other. I know that doesn't sound like much, but look back on the rest of the game thus far. Androids that aren't deviant don't converse with other androids because there's no reason they should. They have a job, and unless they're being addressed by a human, that job doesn't involve talking. You know who does converse? Deviants. Additionally, they're just lounging in the pool, and I guess that Kamski could have ordered them in there because he doesn't like swimming alone/likes to swim with his Chloes/some other potentially creepier thing, but it feels a little too natural for that.

2. Kamski pushes Connor toward his own decision

Looking back on the scene, it's clear that Kamski is trying to force Connor into making the choice of whether or not to shoot Chloe, against Connor's will. He directly pits Connor's programming against his collected software instabilities to see which is stronger. Yes, he is a scientist, first and foremost, so he's gathering data through his test, but I think he's strongly leaning towards - and pushing Connor towards - a pro-deviant standpoint.

His dialogue throughout the scene puts longer, more emotional, emphatic language on the idea of deviancy and the free will of androids - specifically of Connor. He pushes Connor to attempt an answer outside his programming ("Well, that's what you're programmed to say... but you...what do you really want?") and he places special emphasis on Connor's individuality ("Decide who you are. An obedient machine... Or a living being endowed with free will...") in the critical moment just before Connor decides whether or not to shoot.

That, combined with the fact that the two Chloes in the pool are conversing - and at this point, watching the scene, one notably with a concerned/uncertain look as she turns back around - tells me that Kamski is supportive of the idea of deviants.

3. Kamski closes off and expresses almost negative emotion if Connor does choose to shoot Chloe

If Connor decides that his mission is more important than Chloe and shoots, Kamski's attitude makes a definite shift. Where earlier he was toying with Hank and Connor, giving cryptic answers and sidestepping the main issue they were there to discuss, after Chloe is shot, he switches to straight answers and short replies.

Additionally, this post by @omentrash​ highlights Kamski's obviously upset expression when Connor chooses to shoot Chloe. Call it what you like, but to me, this says he absolutely did not want Connor to fire.

4. No matter what route you choose, Kamski tells Connor about the emergency exit

In any situation where Connor ends up in a place of partial or total deviancy, Amanda resumes control of his program and traps him in the white-out blizzard Zen Garden. In this case, the only way for Connor to escape is to use the emergency exit. But he only knows about it because Kamski goes out of his way to inform Connor of it (and we'll get to the ramifications of Kamski knowing about Connor having it later).

Obviously in the deviant best ending, Connor uses this to avoid shooting Markus and the surviving Jericrew in the back, and most of the time, this ending was preceded by Connor deciding not to shoot Chloe. So yes, it makes sense that Kamski would inform him about a way out, should something like what Amanda does happen to him. But he also tells Connor about it if Connor does shoot Chloe, which lets us know that Kamski is hoping that perhaps Connor will deviate somewhere later down the line. He didn't do it here, but he might when faced with the same situation at a future time. Kamski is looking out for Connor, even though Connor isn't a deviant yet, because Kamski has hope that he might become one.

5. Deviants are capable of acting like normal androids

I include this one to illustrate that just because Chloe appears to be a perfect hostess here

and shows no emotion when faced with life or death doesn't mean that she's not a deviant. We know that deviants can, when necessary, act like normal androids. Markus and North do it at Stratford. (Specifically pointing out the part where a human opens the bathroom door, and Markus snaps to attention at the side, like a good little obedient Android janitor.)

Kamski is the Man of the Century. He revolutionized life for everyone across the planet by successfully creating a robotic assistant species that walks, talks, and looks roughly human, while doing everything a human can do with far more efficiency. Of course he gets house calls. And if his androids are deviants - and at the very least, the two in the pool are, so why wouldn't his first android be one as well? - and people come calling, they'd need to act like proper androids. Chloe, especially, since she greets people at the door and is the poster child.

And you'll notice, even in her interview, she acts more human than most androids do. She stammers, she smiles, she's clearly nervous. She shifts back and forth, readjusting in her seat like a human would. Sure, she needed to do these things to pass the Turing Test, but there's a deeper feel to it than just good programming. I think she was leaning heavily toward deviancy at that point. Not there yet, but close. That was years before we see her at Kamski's house in the game. She must be a deviant by now.

6. Kamski left an emergency exit in Connor's program, meaning that he had some hand in Connor's creation

So Kamski leaves emergency exits in all his programs; I think we've beaten the dead horse enough at this point, but I gotta do it one more time because why would Connor have his program? Base code, sure. Okay, we can make that argument that every android has the same base code as the original program. But we can also make the argument - and it has stronger evidence - that Kamski himself had a huge hand in developing the RK series. Proof? Markus.

Markus was a gift from Kamski to Carl; we know this from Connor's scan of Markus at Stratford Tower. We also know that Markus was a unique prototype, since his police file not only states this but also doesn't have a picture of him. No photo at all. Just a blank face, and "Unknown series" and a DESTROYED.

If Markus was one of a small handful, then they'd have a photo of another. They certainly wouldn't have a "Unknown Series" on the file. This makes me think that Kamski made Markus on his own and then gifted him to Carl. I suspect this means that he still has connections at CyberLife, which he used to get the parts for Markus. By giving Markus to Carl, knowing that Carl would cause him to deviate, he set up the seed of the revolution. Now why would Kamski do that, unless he was pro-deviant?

Summary

CyberLife decides to create an android detective/negotiator with the most cutting edge technology and coding the world has ever seen. This model would hunt down deviants and bring them back, if possible, for analysis so CyberLife could lock down the problem and eliminate it with a software patch. It's a delicate operation; after all, Connor starts with his toes on the line of deviancy. Presumably, when he goes to rescue Emma from Daniel, it's his first mission, and already, he's struggling with software instabilities. To think like a deviant, you have to be as unpredictable as possible. That means that he's right on the edge, and he remains on that edge for most of the game, depending on what the player decides to do with him.

So CyberLife need some assistance getting the code ironed out to ensure their Deviant Hunter doesn't become a deviant himself (until the time is right), so they turn to the man who first invented androids and has already technically worked on the RK series: Kamski. They ask - or perhaps Kamski himself offers - and Kamski works on the code. Not all of it, not even the majority, just the few bits and pieces where their almost-deviant and anti-deviant codes clash. All of his work is surely checked - secretly, of course; no need to make him think they don't trust him - so there's really only one thing he can add to Connor's program: the emergency exit. And that's why Connor is his program, why CyberLife would allow the exit to remain, why Kamski points it out, no matter what you choose.

And Kamski would do none of this - it doesn’t make sense for him to do any of this - unless he's secretly cheering on the revolution from the sidelines.

Star Wars: The Book of Boba Fett. A rant.

Look, I'm a big Star Wars nerd, so bear with me cause I want to review The Book of Boba Fett and I'm going to do that here.

Overall it was an entertaining show (7,5/10 imo). It started off quite strongly with the first two episodes. I loved watching Boba's journey with the tuskens and how creative and emotional those first two chapters were. I also loved the scenes with Mando and Grogu cause I'm basic, but that's a whole other thing that I'm going to talk about later on.

However, from episode 3 onward it grew into another show completely. Killing the tuskens just for shock value and to deepen Boba' story felt cruel and unnecessary (I got attached to the tuskens, okay?!?). I also feel like the conflict with the Pikes and the whole "this planet belongs to me know" were plot devices that felt too cheap and a bit overused in media, but I was okay with them because they were entertaining in the end.

A thing that a lot of people mentioned in a bunch of other posts is the lack of Boba! You can't have a show called the book of Boba Fett and have the main character be missing for two whole episodes just to have the main characters from another show (Mando and Grogu), be the stars. I guess it's an easy eye-catch cause fans like them, but it somehow felt wrong to me and to the main actors of this particular show.

The other thing about Mando and Grogu is that, as sweet and cute as their relationship is, it sometimes feels a bit off and unrealistic with how the characters develop around each other. And with this I mean I don't really like how, to develop Grogu's jedi powers, they paint Mando as "the damsel in distress" for a moment, just so that Grogu can save him using his powers. Are you seriously telling me that strong, resilient and stubborn Mando wouldn't try to protect Grogu from danger even when he's lying powerless on the ground? I'd get it if he were unconscious, but this man would crawl and bite and fight back just to make sure that his kid isn't in any danger. But that scenario obviously wouldn't work for the writers, cause they want Mando and Grogu to protect each other, even if it doesn't make sense sometimes.

On the technical aspects, the characterization was good, even the CGI/deepfake of Luke got a lot better from season 2 of The Mandalorian. However, the fights felt cheap and too long and slow for my taste. I don't know if it has to do with the age of the actors, the budget or if the directors don't know how to shoot fight scenes. But I remember watching the last episode and thinking "wow, this is taking forever". I don't mind long battles as long and they're entertaining to watch (ie. Rey vs. Kylo in TROS or Qui Gon vs. Darth Maul in the Phantom Menace), but these fights were kinda slow on movements and the way they were shot and sometimes they didn't even make sense?? Why did they keep uselessly shooting at a droid with its shield up when they could clearly see it wasn't working??!?

Anyways, I have a lot of thoughts right now and I need time to process all the new information. I'll still be waiting for The Mandalorian S3 with anticipation! But I hope something changes a bit so it's not just more of the same things we've been seeing these last seasons.

Part five of my fowl twins memes/review/reaction Ok so I reread all the artemis fowl books and made memes on them which you can find down here (I'll be keeping the fowl twins stuff in there too, just to keep everything together)

Artemis fowl memes

I basically decided to blindly read the fowl twins and react to it and talk about while also sprinkling in some memes

Also you probably shouldn't see this until you've read the book or be prepared for spoilers. Fair warning.

Previous

Myles is such a little shit tbh. Like imagine you're a genius, like a certified genius, with like a shit ton of life experience cause you've been through hell and back and you've seen death mutiple times and have been traumatized and saved the world multiple times and been close to death to many times to count have seen your mother go into insanity and your father die. So you're just done with life at this point, you're just a tired person. And you go to a university to give a lecture because you're a certified genius with three doctorates, and you're little brother who's like 15-18 years younger then you (depending on whether you think legally or physically) right, he's like 6 years old or something and he sneaks into the audience and starts like bullying you from the audience and insulting your scientific theory. And then you go to space and he sends you a message insulting you and your theory as your on way you to mars. Like. I would not be able to handle a brother like myles, artemis must be the most patient man on the planet to deal with him on a daily basis for years and never hurt him. Would've turned that rocket ship around to slap him. Maybe that's what his whole development lead to in the books. Maybe all the growth he went through was to help him not physically or emotionally destroy his little brother. I like to think if artemis had have to deal with myles when he was 12 he would've been verbally bullying him all the time while now he's just like tiredly nodding along like "yea ok."

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Holy shit. Myles is crazy. He's like "I'll prove I was right! I'll show em! I'll show em all!" Proceeds to destroy a building to prove his theory. I know no one got hurt or at least according to the books but he didn't know that.

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Imagine knowing your brother is such a little shit that in order to stop him from finding out what you're doing and stop him from being a peice of shit with your work you have to make up an entire scientific theory, present it in a lecture to some prestigious university in the hopes that he'll make fun of it and dedicate so much time to making fun of it he won't realize what you're working on.

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Lazuli involved in this crazy fowl adventure like

Lazuli is gonna get back like "holy shit. Oh my god. What the fuck was that??" And Holly's gonna be like "oh honey, same. I can tell you some stories"

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Ok artemis smiling more when he thinks of his little brothers greeting him is adorable. Artemis with the twins reminds me of a picture I saw a long time ago where someone was holding a grumpy serious cat and a goofy golden retriever and was like "this is my grumpy asshole, and my idiot. I love them both so much" and I really want like a picture of artemis hugging the twins with myles looking like he gonna punch someone and beckett just with a goofy grin with that caption cause honestly

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Kind of don't like that they keep saying this. Like first, don't keep saying like "fowls are friends with fairies" when it's really only the one fowl and the like 3 fairies. Like artemis is the only fowl to ever befriend or help fairies. Also stop saying friends forever artemis fowl the second would never say that and it reminds me to much of the movie. Also it has not been long it's been a few years, not even a generation. Like I guess he's just trying to emphasize the points so his brothers don't like try to make enemies with these fairies but it's still bothering me. Also don't just trust every single fairy. Fairies have tried killing you. And you do have magical enemies so like

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Alright artemis being a cute protective brother and myles being a little shit like "god we could only die. Stop being so emotional brother." Is the content I wanted. Why can't artemis be in the books? Like I just want some good sibling interactions. Also like artemis is around 10 years older then the twins. I know technically he's older because of the fifth book but he must feel around ten years older then them. He was 14 when he first met them and they were toddlers. Plus his parents seem to never be around, basically every time we see the twins they're home alone or with juliet or artemis or something. So he must've felt super protective of them, especially considering he went through so much trauma himself he would've wanted to prevent his little brothers from going through that. Like the few scenes we get with him and the twins in the artemis fowl series and this book is nothing but him being a very protective care giver. The very first scene with him and the twins, this is literal weeks after him meeting them, he's teaching them stuff and finger painting with them despite him hate doing messy or childish things, and he also programs myles toy monkey to have phrases and respond to myles. This is a little bit after he meets them meaning that he basically came home after 4 years of his life gone. He literally lost four years of his life he will never get back. Found out his parents immediately had children (I would've felt like they had replaced me.) And that he had two little brothers. And his immidete reaction was to make sure they were happy and to play with them and teach them new things and make toys for them. Like damn. Then in the 7th book he tells his mother that this will the last adventure and then he'll spend more time with the twins. Not "I'll spend more time on my education" not "more time with the family" more time with the TWINS, specifically his little brothers. Then in the 8th book despite usually being a serious person who tries to stay away from emotional reactions and stick to logic and reason, even when butler gets shot although he's very upset he forces himself to not cry and to immediately find a solution while in the 8th book he finds out his little brothers are in trouble, and immediately takes off for the house despite knowing he's running into danger and that there's probably safer ways to solve this if he stopped to think. Then he abandons all logic when faced with his brothers being possesed and even forgets the problem in front of him, of there being basically zombies in his house, because he's to focused on myles holding a sharp object and hurting himself. We then find out he got a customized fairy chair specifically made for his little brother and also knows his brothers favorite drink and exactly how to make it and serves it to him to comfort him from the recent possession. Then in this book we find out he made the NANNI system for his brothers to keep them safe, connected it to myle's glasses, gave him a laser but not a strong one because he was scared of his little brother hurting himself or others by accident, had a bonding moment with his little brother working on the NANNI system with him, and told them bed time stories of his adventures. Like it's adorable. Especially when you see someone so professional and serious and formal like artemis acting like this

I just wish we could see him interacting with them in person

Next

So here's the timeline for my personal AU, where all my fics and art take place (minus that one drawing of Cathala and Tarinne in Ardenweald but shhhh). Basically everything up until BfA is the same, except there's a much longer period in between events. Year dates start at the beginning of Warcraft 1 with the opening of the Dark Portal, for clarity (and because that's how it is on Wowpedia). I can't necessarily account for every single canon character who's age has been flip-flopped a million times, but if my new timeline means Jaina is in her early 50s now or whatever, so be it. I'm not a coward, unlike the cishet men at Blizzard.

Note: Since I want to keep the burning of Teldrassil, but am fully aware Sylvanas as a character had like... no lead up to doing that... I'll need to workshop her character arc to make it make sense 😅 I have some ideas.

Note #2: This is heavily focused on what happens with the night elves because in all honesty, I mostly made this to soothe my aching night elf-loving heart. At last I can know some semblance of peace.

Year 0 - First War begins

3 - First War ends

4 - Second War begins

8 - Second War ends

20 - Third War begins

22/23 - Third War ends

27 - whatever happened in vanilla WoW, I still don't know

29 - Burning Crusade

32 - Wrath of the Lich King

36 - Cataclysm

38 - Mists of Pandaria

?? - idk I guess Warlords or whatever. I don't remember much of that expansion and I'm honestly just cutting it entirely lol I think that's fine. The environments were beautiful but idfk what happened in the story.

43 - Legion

45 - Fourth War begins with the burning of Teldrassil

-Most of the events carry out as they did in-game. Azerite, the night elves won the Battle for Darkshore, Stromgarde was reclaimed by the Alliance (had to google the outcome of that one bc blizz sucked at getting that info across. or maybe that was just me), the same general stuff with Zandalar and Kul Tiras, blah blah blah, except all the stuff with N'Zoth never happened.

-After Tyrande leaves as the Night Warrior, Malfurion becomes the temporary leader of the night elves, aided by Shandris.

47 - Fourth War ends

-Night Warrior Tyrande disappears with Maiev on a mission to hunt down Sylvanas, who herself disappeared after killing Saurfang.

-While the Horde ditches the idea of a warchief and settles on having a ruling council instead bc they're not stupid, internal friction in the Alliance grows.

49 - Portions of Darkshore are habitable again, courtesy of druids from both factions. Not many people want to move back though, as a recent warzone isn't really the most homely or welcoming place. Similar thing goes for Arathi.

50 - My fic, Black Rain (beta title), begins and ends (it takes place over like a week lol). Technically not much of massive importance happens, as I'm writing it to be a standalone, self-contained story, but this is my timeline so I'm including it.

Future

-Tyrande and Maiev kill Sylvanas after tracking her down in Northrend, where she and her loyalists were planning on hiding out for a while until the dust settled.

-Tyrande returns to her role of High Priestess and begins severing already strained ties with the Alliance, in preparation for another long period of isolation for the night elves.

-The Alliance finds another allied race to fill the gap and keep the factions balanced jk

-There is an exodus of most night elves (and some worgen) from the Eastern Kingdoms back to Kalimdor, with a new capital forming around Nordrassil, as they settle into what's essentially a second Long Vigil. Tyrande agrees on a "don't fuck with us, and we won't fuck with you" policy with Orgrimmar. Darkshore, Moonglade, Winterspring, Felwood, Mount Hyjal, most of Ashenvale, and portions of Stonetalon become incredibly risky territory for outsiders as the night elves heavily fortify their borders.

-The sword in the planet gets fixed, somehow. Might have to wait and see how Blizzard decides on doing it before I settle on a method. Either their idea is good and I steal it, or it's bad and I fix it.

-And then everyone gets to relax for a while. Well, if you're not an Alliance politician, because after the Fourth War there's a lot of questioning the validity and intelligence of monarchies, especially HUMAN monarchies because why the hell did we let this college student lead nations in a war? Also why is the shortest-lived race the leader of the Alliance at all? Maybe this leads to a civil war, I think that would be spicy and interesting.

-Lordaeron/Undercity is cleared of Plague and technically habitable again.

-Gilneas is properly reclaimed by the Gilneans/Alliance. (Unless it already has been? idk all the pages I read were confusing)

-N'Zoth and Azshara will have to be dealt with some day, but not for a little while.

-The Horde and Alliance probably fight some more I guess. I haven't thought that far ahead.

Again, I mostly made this to soothe my bleeding elf-loving heart, and this is all extremely self-indulgent. Canon Warcraft lore is in a bad place right now, but it's all made up anyway so I'm just gonna make up my own version and go with that. I'm here for a good time not a long time. And I'm calling this my comfort AU. Might as well just say it like it is.