while the soukoku+lumity voltron moment vs sasunaru polls is getting set on fire (rip my notifs again) let's engage in a light infodump about the guys in my pfp

these guys. my sillies. yes the guy on the left was in my nepotism contestant pair this is his other homoerotic shonen rivalry. he's got 2

^ fun fact this is apparently the earliest shaman king screenshot I have, dating to 1-2 days after I started watching it. fun goose archaeology fact for ya ^

they're so amazing I love them so much. but they don't really count as a rivalry (especially compared to hororen) because the animosity is entirely one sided and also slows down real fast. ren starts out being the most 13 year old ever, which is to say angsty and murderous, but he chills out with the murderous part really fast and their dynamic just becomes this

it's like sir you are aware you've committed yourself to a lifelong rivalry with the most chill person on the planet right? right?

he's so dramatic about it too this is a real line from when they fought each other in the plot tournament once

and then yoh just does this whenever he's asked to make important plot decisions

they both think the other person is The Coolest Guy Ever except it manifests quite differently between them

the one time ren dies before death loses all meaning yoh, because he's the best, immediately drops out of the plot tournament he's wanted to be in since he was 4 to get an 11 year old cult leader to resurrect him (keep up people) and it's very wholesome in a depressing kinda way. he would do that for most people but it's especially funny because of how pissed ren gets about his no-homo destined rival giving up his dreams to raise him from the dead without his consent

they're just so silly the dynamic of incredible mutual trust with this one sided insane rivalry is so fun and I love them so much

also this scene exists? I literally do not know why Takei wrote it like this but he did and it's real? here you go?

I totally would've put them on the bracket if it wasn't for the mutual, more dramatic homoerotic rivalry happening literally a meter to the left but they get to be the pfp because I singlehandedly blame that screenshot for turning me into what I am today. like I saw that scene 2 years ago and it altered my brain chemistry like "oh it's one of These"

anyways love them so so much

this has been your regularly scheduled shaman king infodump moment

Now I’m curious to hear about your VtM character! Impulse Embraces are always really fun (and I’m noticing very Malk-like)

[barrels into the room] MAN OH MAN I HOPE YOU'RE READY TO HEAR ABOUT LEO WEST, THE NUMBER ONE MALKAVIAN OF MY HEART

[tiny pixel leo was made by @ slimejunior btw]

(It's so cool you wanna hear about him- this is my first time in a vtm chronicle, and while i'm not the best at roleplaying, i've been having a blast with the story. I'm sorry btw, this turned into a very long post- I jumped at the chance to ramble about almost everything I can about him- however, since my fellow players follow me here, I'm keeping quiet about certain parts of his character and past.)

Anyway! Leo West is an amnesiac(?) conspiracy theorist and Anarch Malkavian, and is for an on-going chronicle taking place in San Jose- us players have decided to name it Blood and Silicon (there's actually a blog dedicated to it that's run by one of the players).

Leo's a quiet and inquisitive man who's earnest and stubborn, and refuses to talk to the coterie about his issues (but really, none of the other members do that either). He knows very little about vampire society, as his sire refused to tell him anything before sending him away, and has been repeatedly described as a blank slate and full of potential- mostly due to his "newness" to Kindred unlife. He's probably being manipulated by at least 2 people at this point.

He's got Auspex and Obfuscate, and is (unintentionally) built as a stealth character. He also has the Sandman predator type- it's how his sire hunts, and he would prefer victims who wouldn't struggle, anyway.

With his occasional visions, it seems he's got connections to the Cobweb- additionally, since no one's explained to him what the Beast is (and his takes on the guise of his sire's voice), Leo is currently convinced his Beast is actually his sire just talking to him.

While I described him as an amnesiac earlier, he hasn't completely forgotten everything.

However, my main form of communication is infodumping (/hj), so allow me to ramble below, even though I can't fit everything about him in here:

Leo was a hopeless romantic born on May 26, 1994, raised in Chicago and brought up as a Christian. He stopped believing in that faith sometime in high school; something Definitely happened during that time in his life, since it was also when he broke his nose and started smoking (but hey, if I don't know what happened, then he doesn't either /lh). He did eventually quit cigarettes in college, where he graduated and was a librarian for a while; he helped run the DnD sessions the library would hold every month :-)

In 2019, he met a man named Jeremiah: his future sire. J is a man I could make an entire post about- but tbh this isn't about him, so I'll give only the bare amount of information needed.

Jeremiah is a bartender who moved to Chicago from San Jose, and at some point in the first year of knowing Leo, he ended up blood-bonding him for reasons unknown. Leo, who was completely unaware that he was now Jeremiah's ghoul, experienced the symptoms of the bond and assumed he was in love- which surely was a whole thing for him, because at this point in Leo's life he had just come to the conclusion he would never fall in love, since he's never had the best luck in that part of his life. The two of them entered a relationship (or at least it seemed that way to Leo), and of course given the dynamic/power imbalance here- as well as Jeremiah in general- it wasn't a very good one.

(Amy, Leo's sister, kinda picked up some bad vibes from her brother's partner, and very much dislikes him.)

During their almost-three years together while Leo served as his ghoul, Jeremiah used Dominate a lot on him, erasing his memories of anything that could be seen as Masquerade-breaching- meaning that Leo has no idea what he did for him.

Mr. West noticed his gaps in memory, of course, and with the help(?) of one of his more common library patrons, Chris, he fell down into a bit of a conspiracy rabbit hole to try and figure out what was happening to him. Sometime around this point he picked up his smoking habit again.

[As a result of J's actions, Leo no longer trusts his memory and carries around a notebook; It's also one of the reasons he avoids eye contact a lot, since that's necessary for Dominate.]

Eventually he must've figured things out, or perhaps his curiosity got the better of him- but somehow, on September 16, 2021, Leo stumbled upon something that resulted in his untimely death at 27 years old.

Jeremiah Embraced him that night, although it's unknown whether he did it because he still needed Leo's servitude, or if he genuinely cared about his ghoul (and I am unsure which one is worse).

The rest of the events of his Embrace are a bit tricky to talk about- I can't go into much detail without giving much away- but with all the stress and trauma of what happened, his clan bane manifested as Dissociation; in tandem/addition to this, Leo's brain blocked off parts of itself, resulting in even more memory loss.

In fact, after Sept 16, there's about an entire month and a half of missing time for Leo, and he doesn't remember any of it (this was originally due to a misunderstanding of the game's timeline, but is now a part of the Lore).

Anyway, even though I can't go into specifics of what happened to Leo during this moment of his unlife, I can offer you this sort-of-meme about it:

[At some point during this time J informed him of blood bonds, which was kind of a jerk move, considering his childe was having a bad mental moment already.]

It's been stated by Leo that Jeremiah sent him away to San Jose, and the fledgling currently has his coat- which implies J gave it to him as a gift, or at least let him take it with. His relationship with his sire right now is... complicated.

Anyway, Leo spent about a week in San Jose before meeting [aka getting kidnapped by] a Kindred named Harrison, who introduced him to the rest of the coterie. Currently, they're all a bit secretive, and Leo occasionally leads them into trouble (like lowkey breaching the Masquerade, and almost getting caught by a gang).

Throughout Blood and Silicon, Leo's been learning about Kindred unlife, and has additionally requested an informant to look into Jeremiah. (He's got a bit of a fixation on his sire- in his eyes, his investigation to figure out what's going has not ended, and it seems Jeremiah has many secrets..)

In the most recent session, the coterie has been gifted territory as a reward for doing a quest for Harrison. Meanwhile, something's going on with Leo, because vampires can't get headaches, can they?

I'm very excited to see where this leads...

[thank you for asking, this was fun to ramble about him <3]

how am I having more thoughts on the Cardcaptor!Katsuki thing?

Okay okay some plot notes:

I'm sticking this AU in a weird-ass place! During Katsuki and Izuku's last year of middle school!

So they're not in UA, but this is post-sludge villain so they're a bit weird, Kats is NOT dealing with the trauma well, and Izuku is still training with All Might.

This does mean they're not getting involved in the main plot of bnha yet, but they /can/ run into some characters on the adventures. (Maybe the Heroes are responding to the chaos the Cards make, maybe their future classmates are caught up in said chaos, hell you can toss a villain or two in because some of them might know things about the cards).

Also this is a CC-esque au so similar canon deviations exist. Like Katsuki being transfem but not actually out yet.

Card nonsense kicks off pretty early in.

So I'm imagining that Katsuki is having a Bad Time™ and just wants to be alone for a hot minute. Wanders off during the school day and ends up in some backrooms of the school library. Finds the book with the cards. All the cards except Firey excape(because this one vibes most with her). Kero appears and while Katsuki is like ?????? he gives the plot dump of 'hey! Magic is real! You're destined to deal with this shit!"

Izuku also gets involved because he noticed Katsuki sneaking off, followed like the little fuckin stalker he is, and saw the whole card scattering/Kero infodump thing.

Katsuki and Izuku are in a weird ass place right now because it's post-sludge but pre-ua. So Katsuki is trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Izuku and whether her life is a lie and all that but hasn't really had the push to confront all that. And at first she's pissed at Izuku but Kero is a decent mediator to this situation and it's. it's the first time any kind of adult(as much of an adult as a little cat bear thing is) has kinda. Taken control and firmly but kindly said 'hey knock that shit off' so it's easier for her to really just take a step back and take a breath and actually like. Properly be able to listen to Izuku because again: Kero is saying 'hey the guy was worried about you that's a good thing' instead of 'lmao he's worried about you he thinks you can't handle this show him you can through force!'.

bonus points for Katsuki getting dragged into Izuku's nonsense and finding out 'oh you met mcfucking ALL MIGHT and he's training you as a successor????'. Which. Yeah def spins everything because fuck it All Might is the ultimate authority on right and wrong so if All Might thinks Izuku is a good person worhty of respect Katsuki is switching it up right now. (and feeling guilty for everythig in the past so whoops more of Kero being like 'kid you're FINE!!)

Swinging over to Yue! I mentioned before but he was determined to handle the passing of the torch to a new holder better than the Clow-Sakura transfer he was going in optimistically but GOD he meets Katsuki and is like "THIS??? IS WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH???"

So like. He still does something similar to last time in hiding in plain sight to keep an eye on the new holder. I don't think he'll go full dual personality again because while I love Yukito that's A Lot. But also there's like.... There's not really anyone in Katsuki's life where he could slide in as a 'haha you're not going to question me being here!'.

Which leads to the idea of Yue basically faking being a teacher and is now on the Aldera staff but he's the only sane person in this place and is constantly on the verge of killing his coworkers because holy FUCK how do y'all treat children like this????

All Might gets dragged into this because Izuku has Katsuki meet him and tbh with Izuku helping Katsuki figure out the Card stuff they get into nonsense that's /technically/ vigilantism according to the law but Katsuki is the only one who can deal with the situation.

The actual collecting of the cards happens over that school years so Katsuki has all of them by the time she and Izuku go to UA (and also they're all a bit healthier about things both each other and themselves).

At UA, Katsuki initially tries to keep to just using her Quirk for this shit instead of the cards(though she's become used to using both in tandem). This only works so well beause ofc when bigger threats come out, she's not going to hold back out of some weird 'oh it's not fair to-' no people are in danger she's gonna use everything she has to save them.

So while we don't get someone Eriol-esque crafting situations, the Plot forces her to transform the Cards into her own versions.

TGAMM Analysis: The Ghost IS Molly McGee/All in the Mind (Pt 1)

This was originally a thingy written for a mandatory film journal in my film class (where I essentially write long ass reviews of hyperfixation fuel and assigned movies) but oh no! my two favorite episodes!

Since tumblr has a text limit that is higher than the words i need to speak to get my point across, i'll be taking this into 2 posts which i'll combine thru reblogging (link to both at once)

enjoy my first half of infodumping analysis/review!

The Ghost IS Molly McGee:

As an indulger of children's media, one thing lots of shows focused on fantasy/supernatural stuff like to do is a trope called the Body Swap. TGAMM has, in my opinion, the most unique take on it. Usually in Body Swapping, it's done to prove a point. Take The Owl House for example. It had a body swap episode which was the main trio swapping bodies because everyone thought they had it harder than the others in terms of living. Same could be said for other media with this trope, but TGAMM puts the loveliest spin on it. It makes the switch not to prove a point, but rather to mutually benefit each other.

The situation that the episode begins with has two sides. First, Scratch (being the Chairman of the Ghost World as of the s1 finale) is constantly annoying the Ghost Council (GC) with interrupting their work and eventually this leads to the GC going on strike. Since Scratch is lazy as all ever hell and the GC was essentially heavy loading his Chairman work for him, this is Scratch's side of the issue. Molly's side is that she has been selected to lead the school play, but can't seem to get everyone into line. It's like she herself says "I'm a encourager, Scratch, not a discourager!". Eventually the two of them decide to bodyswap (via wraithing molly and scratch possessing molly's soulless husk) to benefit each other (Molly is kind and supportive, Scratch is more negative and able to put his foot down), and they go on trying to solve their problems. At first, they each have success with the majority of the people in their respective locations (Possessed!Molly [actually Scratch] is a really good leader and leads the stage crew almost in a military way, while Possessed!Scratch [actually Molly] in the Ghost World goes on to convince 3 of the 4 GC members to forgive him/her/them [switching is hard to describe, stay with me here])

But there's one stickler that each of them have to face. Possessed!Molly has to deal with Georgie, who is supposed to be making a paper-mache costume for the play, but refuses to do so, despite Possessed!Molly's many attempts. Possessed!Scratch has to deal with Bart, one of the Ghost Council members who refuses to accept the apology no matter what form it comes in (food, cards, etc). This is essentially the driving force for the plot, we even get a solid song number out of it (crack an egg! gotta make or break! he's got anger and she's got cake!...)

Eventually, they both realize that they never actually asked said sticklers what the problem was that they had to begin with (aka. the message of this segment), and they both do that and listen to what the other has to say and it all works out. With Bart, he just wanted to be shown appreciation through real action and not through items, while Georgie wanted to be in the main role but she never is and thus she was upset about that. They both get what they want and that's the end!

Love the little thing at the end where when both Molly and Scratch watch Georgie perform and cringe so hard. LOL

ouh.... i had never heard of goblet grotto but i googled it, & the artstyle looks so charming. would love to hear u talk abt it sometime, when u get the chance or feel like it ^_^

THANK U OH MY GOD nows my chance …. idk if u wanted me to explain it in ur dms or anything so im just gonna infodump here!!!

goblet grotto is a game made by thecatamites (who still actively posts games, just mostly under the name garmentdistrict) in 2012. the main Thing abt the game is that you play as a little swamp toad knight (probably) named swampy, who ventures into the grotto for their search for goblets. the game itself though is absolutely giant, branching paths at nearly every corner and the “story” becoming more bizarre as time goes on. goblets become less of a collectable, and more of an item of worship

the moment youre thrown into the game and it begins, there are already several noises screaming into your ears. first thing you notice is the glyphs popping up at the top of the screen, each one appearing accompanied with a Horribly Loud “BWAH”. you take in the side menu, looking at swampy’s little avatar and noticing how one of the options is just “pray”, and seeing how theres a Whole Ass Paragraph describing your surroundings right now. halfway through reading the paragraph, you are killed by wolves. you have eaten 0 meats and collected 0 goblets. the game is absolutely ruthless to the player, sometimes it will just throw an unkillable enemy at you, force you to crawl around slowly without an explanation, completely destroy your save file, etc. theres also just moments where the games like Oop You Fucked Up! like if you pray too many times it completely destroys the side-text into becoming incomprehensible screaming nonsense, along with just randomly spawning pyramids that make a horrible buzzing noise that you cant turn off. also theres an npc where if you interact with them it makes all your side-text start saying weird shit.

how ruthless the game is is what makes it so enjoyable to me, its so just unabashedly itself. youre thrown into this world screaming and bleeding, and you have to figure out how everything works to even manage to survive. the glyphs mentioned earlier are a whole ass language, the translation of each and every single glyph being in the guide book that comes with the game. you need to manage to memorize a good amount of them to realize that they have An Actual Meaning and Mechanic in the game. whenever swampy collapses and starts crawling, its not for no reason, its because theyre hungry/havent collected goblets recently and theyre screaming this at you through the glyphs. also would like to mention that praying too much also leads the glyphs to become more panicked and almost trivial, eventually them turning into symbols that Arent even seen in the guide book and i had to ask thecatamites directly what the glyphs meant.

theres so So much damn story in this game, and at the same time theres little to none. the moment you see something that seems like it could be a reoccurring theme, its instantly thrown out the window. its extremely rare for something to be consistent through a small section of the game, nevertheless the whole ass game. the only example i can think of is the game’s depiction of god, who speaks in funny little typing quirks and says shit like “UP AND ATEMCOWBOY!!!!!! WORLD IS HYOU OYSTER ;^)”. its heavily implied that, once you pray too much and the side text becomes all fucked up, its god speaking to you in their fucked up little way of speaking, screaming at you to keep on moving and collect goblets and have horrible dreams and Replace all files in your computer with a list of Swears (direct quote from god). there are also altars in several areas through the game, purple hooded people surrounding each altar. if you pray at it, god just straight up appears and gives you goblets. what’s special though about the inconsistency is that, at the very “end” of the game, seemingly all the vaguely important characters that you only see once in the whole game appear once again. it just like makes it special and really sends it home. god, along with the purple hooded people appear in this area, i just thought that was fun.

also want to mention the sound design and music is so unique and honestly fantastic. i am specifically talking about the glyph’s “BWAH”s, and also how everytime you collect meat, swing your axe, and collect goblets, you hear a man say in your ear “MEAT.” “KILL.” “GOBLETS.” aside from the sfx though the music is genuinely so fucking good im not even joking. its got such an amazing vibe to it, my personal favorite is world end because of how melancholic it feels compared to every other song in the ost

theres honestly so much i could say about this game, but i have autism and cant properly put my thoughts into words, so all i can say is just Pleaaaaase check out goblet grotto, even just for a moment. the gameplay sucks complete ass if youre not familiar with it, but the newest vers of the game DOES have an immortal mode (press L at the start screen and it brings you to Secrets Menu). if you dont wanna play it i recommend vinny’s small vid of him playing it, it gets the main thing abt it across pretty well! ALSO i made a whole ass website of me just talking about everything i know about goblet grotto, its like a sort of guide for the game as theres no other good guides of it online due to how obscure the game is.

anyway thank you so much for listening to me. autism be damned i can write essays about mediocre game

Ivan infodump

OK SO i posted my little guy Ivan (big deer guy) and as i mentioned in his post, hes a mix of different characters i've like found interesting and that had interesting concepts that i wanted to explore in a character so yeah I decided to make ivan!

Ivan's like part of this universe im a part of w some buddies and he's like a werecreature (i cant rlly go super in depth w the lore here because i dont rlly know it that well LHDFCBDVLKHB) he was turned into one like after some stuff happened in his life that left him broke so he needed money to like get back on his feet and doing that (essentially making himself a test subject for this thing some scientists were doing) was the only way he could. Heres where the first theme i wanted to explore comes in, Guilt and Debt.

If anyone's read crime and punishment, the main character Raskolnikov essentially k1lls his crusty musty landlady so he doesnt have to owe her his rent anymore which imo, slay, but at the same time he is riddled with this immense guilt and like questioning himself as to wether or not committing a crime and a deadly sin (because hes also catholic so another LAYER of guilt added)

Raskolikov gets sent to prision to like seve his sentence but most of the book is like him debating with himself wether or not what he did was right, because he mrd3red someone that was a pest both to him and everyone else who owed rent to her, and she was a busive and mean so like thats someon no one would miss because she was bad so he's good for killing her, it was for the greater good, but at the same time in the eyes of the law Raskolnikov is a criminal, as well as in the eyes of religion because he murdered someone and thats an unforgivable act and hes supposed to go to hell for that.

In Ivan's case, his guilt lies in the fact that he was essentially the reason him a nd his family's business went into banktrupcy, if he was never born he woudln't have caused much trouble to his parents. He's the son of a violin maker, meaning business is not as big as theyd wish it to be especially as violins are expensive as shit because theyre handmade works of art that only few know the trade of making them and stuff. Ivan obviously inherited the knowledge from his father, helped him in the shop and helped to provide for his own family even as a child, but he still carries that guilt of being the reason niether one of his parents could fulfill any of the desires they had due to him being just "a burden" in his tiny little head.

In the debt aspect, he is quite literally indebted, left with the previous unpaid bills and unfinished projects his father left after he passed, and left with a bunch of customersn his father still owed things to like money, instruments and materials. To Ivan, thats the way he's repaying the hardships he made his parents go through. the family burdens are passed down generation by generation as well, because many of most of the monetary debts came from people of the past that made those bad desicions and left their descendants to deal with them. Ivan is determined to fulfill these depts, at all costs, and eventually that costs him his humanity.

NOW ONTO HANNIBAL!

I mostly wanted to do the c@nn1balsm as a metaphor for all consuming, obsessive love with Ivan , especially the love for his craft (because in the end he loves what he's doing, hes a passionate violin maker) but literally in the way that he loves as well. He isnt that bad looking, at least according to him (in my head his face claim is jacob elordi specifically in saltburn and like post euphoria and the kissing booth) but he does feel like he's hard to love because of all the guilt hes carrying for shit he didnt even do (like be incredibly indebted to the state). hes super inexperienced in love, has only had one long lasting relationship, and that relationship is one that consumed him so much that he couldnt see himself living apart from that person he loved after they broke up. Ivan has an anxious attachment style, always has and hes like a kitten with separation anxiety, he will wail and scream until he gets back to that person he feels safe with even if it means that he's actively pushing them away because of how clingy he is.

all that to say that he ate his ex boyfriend because if he couldnt be with ivan then no one could have him

So yeah that is like almost all of Ivan's story! i love him dearly and rlly want to expand more on him in the future!

OH WAIT lemme post that infodump from Discord I had about some cool OC ideas I had

So I have had slight story/worldbuilding ideas after the fact, but this was all the base stuff. the below is copied directly from Discord

Okay so I got some OC ideas from a dream

It was a little complex but let me just go over the basic outline

The thing took place in a castle repurposed into an theme park. there were a lot of circus/clown aesthetics, which ties in to one of the characters I dreamt about

The main character wasn't me. The person experiencing everything was this unnamed silver-haired femboy. But not much about their character was shown in the dream

The other characters were ghosts

The first one was named in the dream. His name was Castarian, and I LOVE HIM he's a sweetie. so nice and anxious and sad but still helpful to the protag. He stayed in one room and never showed himself, but did his best to direct and give hints to the protag. I was starting to get hints on why he hid himself when I woke up, but I still knew enough to come up with stuff on my own

The second one wasn't named, but I decided he should be called Drisco. This BITCH. he was trapped in a mirror, but an essential part of the dream was talking and interacting with him. he's one of the classic jester type characters, and he looks kinda like Harlequin (he has a black and white mask, his stupid little clown clothes are black and red, and he has the aesthetic of card suits). his main goal was to be freed from the mirror, but since the protag didn't trust him, he just played games with them in there instead

Despite him being dead and stuck in a mirror, he has incredible access to dark magic. literally the darkest part of the dream was making a goddamn blood sacrifice to him so the protag could revive someone from the dead. option one was the protag's own mother (if I remember correctly, the protag's main goal of the dream was to find someway in the castle to bring her back from the dead?), next was Drisco himself, and the third option was Castarian

the protag didn't trust their mother in Drisco's hands and didn't want to release him, so they chose Castarian. they wanted to see what he looked like and thank him for he help :)

Drisco just laughed and was like "Cassie? Him? Really? Okay, I'll go talk to him!"

and Drisco disappeared for a while to talk to Castarian. Castarian was not happy to talk to Drisco, but when Drisco talked about reviving him and why the protag wanted to do it, Castarian got really anxious about them seeing him.

Drisco got bored and reminded Castarian that in order to complete the ritual, they needed something intangible in exchange for reviving him. Castarian told him that he'll owe a favor, because he wants Drisco to cover up what he looks like with an illusion as well. Drisco started to demand more, but Castarian demanded he do that. Reluctantly, Drisco complied

and then I WOKE UP. So mad about that I wanted to interact with Castarian more :( he's my boy

but I did get a glimpse of what Castarian looked like! he was part human, part boar. kind of looked like how people draw Technoblade, but the burly version where he's big and furry. his fur was a light brown and he was very VERY fluffy and soft

he was so anxious to hide himself because he thought the protag would be scared of him. he was killed by people who thought he was a monster, stabbing him through the heart. so when Drisco did revive him, Drisco hid him in an illusion of a human. Drisco would pettily antagonize Castarian for this

Castarian used to be human, but he gained the favor of a fey who blessed him with the strength of a boar, and welp here he is. they also blessed him in another way- to help with how terrible he was at being assertive, every demand he made to someone magically enforce someone to do what he ordered. Castarian learned to be careful with his wording and instead phrase things as helpful suggestions so he didn't accidentally force someone to obey a command

but Drisco's illusion wasn't even Castarian's true human form? he had long messy hair as a human, but Castarian has become so anxious about his self-image that Drisco covers him up with a neater, clean-cut, "perfect" version of him.

my conclusions from the dream are that Castarian is a lovely boy. he's anxious because he's like 9 feet tall in his boar form and super burly and strong now and horrifying enough for people to kill him for being a monster. but he's so fluffy and so sweet,,, I wanna pet him fr

Drisco's a bitch. funky little gay guy with some nuance to him, but has that chaotic clown bastard energy.

he and Castarian's interactions have a weird divorced vibe. these bitches have so much tension between them and it's so funny. Drisco knows he'll get destroyed in a fight with Castarian (especially while he's in boar form) so he manipulates Castarian's self-hatred to make him feel bad :(

marz said they love my durgey so im gonna use that as an excuse to infodump about them (and try to put it under a readmore but readmores always break for me now so who knows if itll post properly) (spoilers for baldurs gate 3 dark urge playthrough to follow)

my main dark urge is named naught (like zero/nothingness ^_^). he's a tiefling monk with they/him pronouns. below is a lazy reference for his more 'unique' features i spent very little time on

his backstory is largely the normal dark urge stuff; wandering and strange from the get go with unsettling mannerisms even as a child, he was adopted by a poor family. he actually bore a lot of affection for them, and tried very very hard to be 'normal'. when he realized his family was displeased with the way he sort of romanticized violence and death, he tried to tamp it down. however, given the nature of the urge, he was eventually overcome and killed them (second heal memory)

after that incident, he fled his home, and tried unsuccessfully to resist; but as his body count even unintentionally rose he fully gave in. in his time as the leader of the bhaal cult, a lot of his 'personality' outside of the urge was utterly erased and dead.

interestingly, however, he regained some sense of 'self' as the plans for the absolute took place, though perhaps in a way that was worse for everyone. the tldr of this being that because the plan required he interact with and 'bond', so to speak, with gortash, leader of the banites, he was able to have conversations with someone. the issue here being of course that gortash is a terrible person, but so was he, so it was sort of a net 0 for humanity and only really 'good' for him (and maybe gortash, i guess) since it let him retain a hint of personhood outside of bhaal; personhood that would serve him after orin's betrayal at moonrise.

(pictured: real canon shit the durge writes about gortash)

of course, dark urge and gortash's murderous funtimes had to end when orin got tired of the family drama and decided to end it the only way she knew how.

this left naught at the beginning of the game in a position where they knew intuitively that they enjoy others company, they didnt remember how resisting was 'futile', and they were surrounded by people who could definitely kill them if they acted out too harshly. not that naught didn't 'act out'-- he has a very Broken sense of morality and whats 'too far' after everything, and definitely partook of some torture and senseless violence a few times. nothing especially severe (he didn't get arabella killed or the rest of the grove, for instance), but he definitely was... bad. not normal.

these lapses would slowly die down, however, the closer naught came to the others around him. their sense of morality rubbing off on him and making him desire their approval. where he once welcomed his butler, he started fighting back; still bound to his urge, still not entirely 'there', but constantly thrashing against the current-- until the orin battle, which went Great, by the way

even after withers resurrection, though, i dont think hed ever truly be 'normal'. even if his nightmares no longer stem from bhaal, i dont think theyd ever go away fully. and i dont think hed ever fully gain a normal moral compass (hes dating astarion, by the way. so good luck faerun.) nor do i think hed ever fully come to remember his past; though i dont think hed ever fully care to, either. hed always remain this unnerving, somewhat 'immoral' person; always a bit more brutal than he should be, a bit more direct, a bit too stiff and strange. full of love and care that hes learned from his journey, but still with a hint of violence; no longer bhaal's, but wholly his own. always a step away from a 'normal' person even without bhaal's black blood in his veins.

but at least minsc is his uncle. thats nice.

hi hi!!! bored so do you have anything you like want to infodump about? or just send a long post about or want me to research/read/watch/listen to or etc? this ask can take as long as u want or be as long as you want or whatever u want just curious :) can be about absolutely anything!!

hey there!

sooo this is pretty different from what i normally talk about BUT tlou hbo has reignited my hyperfixation on it and sadly they have taken over my brain once again. aaand i kind of feel like people are misinterpreting the core of the story at the moment, so. full ramble below the cut and yes i will be spoiling absolutely everything (including the next season, but i'll mark that part with a warning) so i am very sorry tumblr user hazmatazz if you can't read this now but. i NEED to get this off of my chest.

right off the bat, i'm going to get to the main thing: joel's lie.

a lot of what i'm about to explain is best summarized with the bts the making of clips that are shown at the end of look for the light but i feel a very deep need to spell this out for some of you.

NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION IS RIGHT OR WRONG!!!

and this is a running theme that i'm definitely going to get back to later because that's another main thing with tlou as a whole.. they tend to create very morally grey, not-right not-wrong characters, and that's on purpose. a large part of this story as a whole is to show how people (and humanity in a lot of cases) would react if we were put into these situations.

which leads us right back to what joel did.

the last of us offers this already very damaged, very broken person a really visceral, hard decision. and i feel like people are forgetting that these experiences, him losing sarah and tess and the promise he made to tess.. all of that shapes his decision to save ellie and protect her.

like (i believe it was, i don't have the time to check--) craig mazin said at the end of look for the light, a lot of tlou1 is about the deep, unconditional love of a parent. he was essentially offered to save his adoptive daughter or save humanity.

just think about his situation for a second. if you had this person that you loved like family, and you had to choose saving them over a world that is already long gone, would you? because i know i would, and i'm sure there are a lot of people that would agree with me.

and then there's ellie.

throughout the first part, ellie has this strange sort of, for lack of a better term, "chosen one" complex, where she has this mindset that's like, "okay, i have this really special, probably rare thing, and there's no one else like me, as far as we know. what can i do with that?" and her first answer is always to use it. the show takes this another step further in a small way when she tries to save sam, but it doesn't work, which is some pretty rough foreshadowing, but i'm getting off-topic.

ellie wants her immunity to mean something bigger, to be something greater than just something that can only stop her from getting infected. she wants to save and help people, because she couldn't save rylie or tess or sam, and she's watching all of these people die around her, and she can't do anything. so, obviously, when she finds out there's a chance she can change that, she's going to want to tak eit. and even more so, she's going to get hurt when joel, this person she loves and cares a lot about, stops that from happening on purpose and lies to her face about it.

they both have their reasons. does that make joel a little selfish, in some ways? maybe. but talk to any parent you know, and they would do the same thing. sometimes, when it comes to stuff like this, people can be inherently selfish. it doesn't mean that they're bad people, though.

you could argue for both sides here, and that's what makes all of this so complicated. ellie is a bordering-on-suicidal fourteen year old girl who wanted her immunity to mean something for other people, too. joel just wanted to keep her around and let her live a somewhat fulfilling life. you could also say that fedra wouldn't allow the vaccine to be distributed, or that the fireflies are liars or that maybe the fireflies were just trying to help, and you'd be right on all accounts. it is just too difficult to call either of these people wrong for getting upset and doing what they did.

season two spoilers start here!

i also sort of want to elaborate on that thing i said earlier about tlou and its characters, because i know for a fact we're going to have the same fights we got when tlou2 came out once season 2 is out, and i want to clear some stuff up right now before i lose my mind. yes, this is tangential. i do not care at all lmao

if you can forgive joel and tommy for all of the shitty things they've done, hell, if you can forgive ellie for what she does in part 2, then you can absolutely forgive abby, too. and if you don't, you're kind of biased and lack some very important empathy, imo.

let's just look at what these characters do during this conflict completely objectively, for a minute, sticking to the games' canon.(since s2 isn't out yet)

joel kills abby's father, the surgeon that was meant to kill ellie, in order to save her. abby, in turn, once she finds him, kills joel. ellie and tommy, out of pure grief and anger, track abby and her group down and kill all eight of them off one by one. ellie only spares abby once she's the last person standing and has a kid to take care of.

keep in mind, abby literally SPARED ellie and tommy. was this for some pretty harsh reasons? probably. but still. she said it herself, she let them live. she could have killed them at any time in that room, and she made the choice not to.

now, no one other than abby had really laid a hand on joel, other than wrapping that tourniquet around his leg at the very beginning. ellie still wanted them all dead, because they were there, and they helped, and they were friends with abby, and in ellie's eyes, that's crime enough to deserve punishment.

but we still love ellie. we still love tommy. we still root for both of them, because we understand their characters and empathize with them. (which was sort of the point of playing as abby for so long in part 2 but i guess some people just didn't click with that which is fine but ugh. you don't GET ITTTT)

on the outside looking in, abby really isn't any worse than either of them. you may even argue that she's better. but that's one of the driving themes of the games, and the story as a whole. no one is good or bad, we're all just people with separate motivations that intersect in bad ways.

spoilers end here!

i guess that's why i get so frustrated when i see that we're still misunderstanding the conflict between joel and ellie here. there isn't any right or wrong here! they are both just people who care about each other very deeply, and sometimes, because of that, they get hurt. if we're going to keep doing this i am begging you all not to watch season two. you're just going to get pissed off again.

So, given that I didn’t have much time to work on fics recently because school, I’ve decided to relieve some stress by making a random representation of how I imagine Cavendish and Dakota’s house in their time-period looks like. And since I have no plans to ever describe it in detail in a fic, here it is ! Though, given how bad I am with designs, showing the house is mostly an excuse to infodump on domestic headcanons.

Regarding the last names, I didn’t make a typo for Cav. I like to imagine the two getting married way before the events of the show, with Cav taking “Dakota” as a last name, mostly because he got several siblings in-law on the Dakota side who adopted him on the spot.

And about the representation of the house : yeah it looks like shit. Since I can’t draw, I’ve decided to do something rather quick using MSPaint but yeah, not the best thing in the world. Though, if I get back to playing the Sims 3 at some point and end up making a Dwampyverse savefile, I’ll most likely try to recreate that house and could share a few pics.

I also went with a rectangular house with one floor instead of some futuristic-looking thing, mostly because I have no imagination when it comes to design. Though, you could still use the excuse that they want something more “old-timey” given their job or that they don’t have all the money of the world so they chose a simple house for the small cost. But yeah, by the end of the day, the choice is mostly because I can’t design shit.

But still one thing in my defense : looking at episodes that take place in the future like “Missing Milo” or “First Impressions”, it seems that most buildings are square-y with the roof being the weirdly-shaped part, with B.O.T.T. being one of the few exceptions. And looking at “A Christmas Peril”, the buildings are definitely more wacky but it’s 20 years later so…

I could also mention that I’m a bit unsatisfied with how empty the living-room and the bedroom ended up being but I’m drawing a total blank when trying to come up with the kind of stuff Vinnie and Balth would have that are linked to their interests. Though, maybe the excuse of them not being often at the house works ? Idk. Let’s just say I have ideas for the “basic” stuff, aka what you find in basically every single middle-class house, but draw a complete blank for anything that’s decorative. Still posting a map of the house tho because I don’t really consider it a work in progress if I simply have no idea and may never do. I’m very bad at design so bear with me on that one ! It’s not only about the house, it’s also about the fluffy headcanons !

So here’s under the cut some random info about the look of the rooms and furniture + a bunch of headcanons regarding Vinnie and Balth’s lives in this house. For each part of the house, you first have the info about how it looks first and then the headcanons.

Those headcanons are made with the idea that Vinnie and Balth are married (duh) but also, for a few, that Vinnie has three siblings + a few in-laws that he has a good relationship with.

(very long post ahead)

General :

- They bought the house in 2162, 2 years after getting married.

- It’s in the suburbs, or at least what the future version of the suburbs would look like. In other words, the presence of a backyard is debatable.

- There could be a garage for their time vehicle, so that they don’t have to go to headquarters every single day. And if not an actual garage, there’s at least some space to put it. In both cases, it would be near the bedroom’s side of the house.

- While the walls outside would have that futuristic “metallic” look, the walls inside would be a bit warmer. At the very least, the inside isn’t “future metallic white”, especially with Vinnie having photophobia.

- The intensity of the lights in every room can be adjusted. That way, Vinnie can put the dimmest light and navigate the house without his glasses. This is mostly useful for showering and midnight snacks.

- When they went house-hunting, Balth was the one who insisted that they needed a place with those kinds of lights. This is also the same kind of lights that Vinnie had in his now-former apartment.

- You know how near the end of the episode “First Impressions” you have Balth going into Mr. Block’s office ? Well, the way the door opens in that moment is how the door opens for every room of the house, perhaps excluding the main entrance (I like the idea of their front door being an “old” one, aka the “normal” doors we have today).

- Every room would have a spot that can create “tactile panels”, like some holographic tablet that can be used to change the settings of the house, for example changing the lights or the internet or even lock the doors and blinds.

- In 2175, when they were forced to leave the future, Vinnie stole a device from B.O.T.T. that made him able to create some kind of forcefield around the house that only he and Balth can remove. So, even if they’re not there anymore, the house still is theirs and can’t be sold to anyone else. And before you ask why B.O.T.T. didn’t simply send agents to bring the duo back and force them to open the shield : the forcefield works with hand-scan detection and Vinnie convinced Balth to use their left hands, the hands with the wedding rings. So if time-agents come knocking, they could try convincing the agents to let them use the bathroom first and they could wash their hands and use the soap to remove the rings. That way, the scan wouldn’t work and the agents would have no way of knowing why.

    Living room :

- There’s more furniture than showed here like souvenirs from previous missions or some random stuff that belongs to them. I just don’t have enough imagination. : /

- Likewise, the corridor has a few pictures or posters, like pictures that Vinnie didn’t have the space to put in his memory room but still wanted to display. Also, I want to say that Vinnie would display pictures of his family (sibling, in-laws and nephews) but I’ll see him more as having an album for family pictures, or a framed picture on his nightstand.

- There could definitely be a carpet or two. They would either be modern ones to fit the fact that they’re from the future or vintage stuff found in some of their missions. One of the carpets would be under the coffee table. Another would be in the big-ass space between the living-room and the kitchen, or in the corridor.

- The style is a mix between old and new stuff, with also a few things related to their interests. Like, for example, the couch could have an animal pattern or something (AND BY THAT I DON’T MEAN REAL ANIMAL FUR).

- Speaking of the couch, after looking up “futuristic couch” on the internet, they would absolutely have one of those gigantic couches that have like a bed attached to them due to how big they are. Btw I have no idea which company came up with this design and I couldn’t care less. It’s just that the design looks cool and would fit a futuristic house.

- The side table is a floating square, given how we see in “A Christmas Peril” that tables in the future don’t have feet anymore (that’s one way to protect your toes).

- The floor lamp is more futuristic. It’s like a white orb attached to a lamp foot.

- The TV is attached to the wall. The remote is some kind of holographic tablet, kind of like the house settings thingy.

  - This is where Balth would spend most of his mornings and evenings when they stay home. He’d just be sitting with a cup of tea, most of the time also a book, with the sun illuminating the room, just feeling comfortable and peaceful. The side table/cube was bought specifically for Balth’s tea. He would also use the lamp while reading in the late evening, either for the peace of having little to no light and solely focusing on the book or as a way for Vinnie to be in the room with the lights at the lowest setting. And speaking of Vinnie, he would sometimes join his husband on the couch, lying down with his head resting on Balth’s legs (cue Vinnie falling asleep, leading to a frustrated Balth who needs to pee but doesn’t want to wake him up).

- Since there’s a mini-table for when Balth drinks tea, the table right in front of the couch is mostly used for Vinnie to rest his legs on.

- And speaking of fluffy headcanons : movie nights. From time to time, aka minimum once a month, probably more, the couple would be in their pajamas cuddling on the couch while watching a movie, with Dennis resting in Balth’s arms.

For the movie choices, Balth would choose science-fiction, especially if there are any Professor-Time-themed movies, but also historical fiction (for some reason I tend to see Balth as having a liking for history ? I think it’s because of the way he dresses + his small rant about pirates in “Game Night” ? Idk honestly. It’s mostly a random headcanon that’s here for some weird reason). As for Vinnie, it’s mostly animal documentaries (Balth falls asleep halfway through but Vinnie doesn’t notice until after it’s over) or animated/family movies (the future equivalent of D*sney, S*ny pitcures, P*xar etc. Which are movies Balth would enjoy as well). For some weird reason I’ll also see the two of them being into mystery movies (crime-solving movies basically).

And if they sometimes decide to watch other genres, I could see Balth having a liking for some romance movies, because for some reason I like the idea of Balth being sappy. Besides, the guy is passionate when it comes to proving himself at his jobs and takes them pretty seriously in order to reach his objective. And given how he can be insecure and sometimes feels like a ball of anxiety, who’s to say he isn’t passionate when it comes to love too ? And no, I don’t mean passionate as in “making out all the time”, I mean passionate as in taking relationships seriously and making it work while also wishing to make sure his partner knows that he’s loved, even if Balth isn’t really the best at expressing his affection all the time.

On a different note, to get back to other genres : Vinnie would probably like horror movies. Because if cuddling in front of a sappy movie is great, having your husband show his love and trust for you by clinging to your arm out of fear is even better, nevermind the fact that you’re as terrified as he is.

    Kitchen :

- It’s one of those kitchens with two walls of cupboards/cabinets, both on the ground and elevated. One of the cabinets is used entirely for snacks. Because Vinnie.

- The wall separating the kitchen and the living room “has a hole in it”. It’s like you have a small wall with cupboards, a hole, and a wall connected to the ceiling with a few cabinets. Basically, you look up “kitchen cupboards” and imagine that the space in-between is a hole instead of the wall (why is it so hard to explain something so simple ?).

- This would be the most futuristic-looking room of their house. Looking up at references, they’re that Pinterest post showing a room with white cabinets with round corners and what seems to be slide doors. This is pretty much how I’ll see their kitchen, except bigger, with a different wall color and with one wall not being here (see above).

- The table is floating because of course it does. The chairs don’t tho. Also the chairs are as futuristic as the rest of the room. And looking up the internet again, the chairs are shaped like chairs.

  - So I put a stove but tbh I’m not sure how much these two would cook, given how in the show they’re always seen eating out (granted they don’t have a kitchen in their ‘apartment’ in Milo’s time). And given how most things seem automatized in the future, let’s just assume that the house can do most of the cooking itself with like a robot (aka plot-convenience technology) but still needs the necessary furniture and ingredients for the recipes. Also, if there’s an issue with their cooking system, they’ll probably know a few recipes and can feed themselves (Vinnie’s oldest brother Enzie would definitely teach his younger siblings a few recipes, at least enough to survive on their own. And he would be more than happy to teach his brother in-law as well).

- I put 4 chairs at the table but honestly I could see them keep 2 at all times and put the others in the storage room, especially the times they get very busy with their job for a few weeks and don’t have the time for social life.

- At some point, Balth probably tried to convince Vinnie to have better food habits and tried to put his snacks on the higher shelves. Not only did it not work because chairs exist but also it led to Vinnie getting frustrated. So Balth dropped it. Though, he would still try to talk Vinnie into working out to stay rather healthy.

    Memories room :

- Vinnie’s personal space. He basically saw the third biggest room of the house and went “mine now” and Balth had no issue letting him have it (hard to say no when Vinnie’s eyes shine like that).

- He already had a memory room in his old apartment.

- Basically, Vinnie brings back souvenirs from his missions, along with pictures he took, and put them on display. For more information, I made a post about it a while ago, so check it out if you want info on it.

And side note : I learned more about ADHD and autism later on and found out that the correct word for Vinnie’s passion for animals is a special interest, not a hyperfixation. The main difference between the two terms is how long your interest last. The reason I used “hyperfixation” in my post is because 1. I didn’t know that “special interest” was a term that existed and 2. people with ADHD kept talking about having hyperfixations and most people see Vinnie as having ADHD. So yeah, my bad for using the wrong term. And while I won’t change the current text from my post, especially with someone in the notes correcting me (I don’t want them to look like an idiot), I’ll definitely add a few words at the end of the post about it.

 - This is where Vinnie spends most of his time when at home, trying to keep the room in the best condition.

- There’s a window in the room but Vinnie condemned it in case some of his souvenirs were sensitive to the sunlight.

- The room is made entirely of shelves, with like four-five rows on the same wall. The shelves are either integrated into the walls or they’re floating because future. In any cases, there’s nothing around the shelves, it’s just shelves with stuff on it.

- When you enter the room, one of the rows of shelves next to you has all the animal-related stuff he gathered before starting a relationship with Balth. The rest of the room can have a few animal-themed objects but the pictures tend to be more linked to him and Balth.

- Likewise, when you enter the room, on the shelf you’re immediately facing, there’s a miniature recreation of their wedding altar with their wedding picture in its center. The miniature is made out of the future equivalent of papier-mâché and the altar is themed around time-travel with objects from all kinds of time-periods and cultures. And for those who might ask regarding the picture : Vinnie has a black suit and carries the bouquet while Balth has a white suit. Both have a hat that’s basically Balth’s usual hat (with the Professor-Time goggles, because themed wedding) but colored like their respective suit.

    Balthazar’s office :

- The room has quite a few libraries but this is mostly decorations. Basically, this room is more of an 1800th century study than anything, especially a rich/royal study. Yeah, for some reason I see Balth as having an office that’s just “rich 1800th century” aesthetic. I think it’s from the headcanon of him being a runaway prince 🤔.

- So yeah. The bookcases are vintage, the piano is your usual black piano, the armchairs are vintage and tbh Balth almost never uses them because he’d rather read in the living room, and the desk is vintage, though the stuff on the desk is futuristic. Balth is up to date with the technology he’s using to work, he just likes the older aesthetic for the rest.

- On his desk, despite literally living with the guy, Balth has a framed picture of Vinnie (again, I want the stubborn gay disaster to be sappy from time to time, with his love language being small touches and attention to details like for example being able to quickly see the kinds of foods Vinnie like the most so that when he’s in a bad mood, Balth can get him that specific food to make it better ; or learning Vinnie’s body language to know when he’s upset or bothered by something).

  - Balth mostly spends his time here to make the reports on their missions or work some administration stuff when needed. When he isn’t at his desk, he’s there to play the piano.

And yes, I throw out the window that line from “Backwards to School Night” that indicates Vinnie doesn’t know about Balth playing piano but tbh I ignore or question quite a few things from this episode such as : the line indicating that Vinnie and Balth don’t live together in their time-period since Balth doesn’t know Vinnie’s weekend habits ; the line about how the ray thing age you down to 90% your current age and yet baby Vinnie seems younger than the parents despite his adult self seeming older; the fact that Melissa read a book 16 times in the span of 6 minutes ; the fact that it’s called a “age regressor ray” and not a “age regressor ray-inator” (seriously, I am the only one always expecting Vinnie to say “inator” and being disappointed when he doesn’t ?).

- The couple absolutely sing songs together with Balth playing the piano. Or at least Vinnie would sing a song in the middle of the living-room and have Balth be annoyed by it, only for Vinnie to hear Balth play the same song on the piano later and join him.

    Bathroom :

- Not much to say here. It’s a bathroom. It’s futuristic-looking. The mirror is a cabinet. The tub is round. The bin comes in and out of the wall. The clothes drier also irons the clothes. The toilet is glued to the wall. The walls are dark gray or dark blue or at least a darker color so that Vinnie doesn’t have to dim the lights to the lowest level when he’s showering. There are also several little lights along with a main one so that Vinnie can light the small ones instead of getting a headache due to the brighter light. During lazy/slow days, Balth would take baths instead of showers (and Vinnie would want to join him to make out). Balth may or may not sing in the shower (Vinnie definitely does). That’s pretty much it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Guest/Storage room :

- Only used as a guest room when one or several members of the Dakota family are visiting the states and end up in the Tri-State-Area. So for 90% of the time, the room is used as storage.

- Bed’s not that big and very “squary”. Might or might not be floating.

- It’s mostly random junk that they don’t know where to put and don’t want to get rid of, like some stuff they got from their missions but that Vinnie doesn’t want in his room or some old things they want to give at a garage sale or that one Professor-Time body-pillow that Balth refuses to let go of while Vinnie just wants to trash the thing. The body-pillow being in the storage room in a junkpile was their compromise on the issue. Also, whenever someone might stay in the room, Balth makes sure there’s no way they will find the body-pillow (his sister in-law Bettie would never let him live it down).

- Not much to say here either aside from that.

    Master bedroom (the room in which the proportions are way bigger than the rest of the house because I have no idea what I’m doing) :

- I described the room quickly in my fic “nightmares” but yeah basically the room has several posters and pictures related to their interests, along with a bookshelf full of animal encyclopedias, time-travel facts, history books, Professor-Time fantasy books etc. There are also albums, whether it be family pictures or album of the two of them.

- Like for the living-room, there can definitely be more than what I described/pictured here. I’m just really bad at imagining the kind of stuff people would have in their bedrooms related to their interests. And speaking of which : at some point, there was the aquarium that Vinnie mentions in “Time Out”.

- Unlike the other rooms in which the windows have roller blinds (apparently that’s the english word for it ?), this one has curtains on top of it because Balth likes to open the window in the morning but he doesn’t want Vinnie to hurt his eyes. So with curtains, he can open them enough to light the room but not enough for the light to reach Vinnie’s face.

- The bed is pretty classic for a futuristic bed but with round edges and these two idiots definitely go crazy with the sheets design (animals, food, Professor-Time, past time-periods, stuff like that). Also, the bed is “open”. By that I mean that, if you look at futuristic designs, there tends to be some roof thing above the bed and linked to it. They wouldn’t have that.

- The nightstands are floating cubes.

- “Dennis’ chair” is just some random old wooden chair where Dennis stays most of the time. Balth almost never takes him during his missions and Dennis is a comfort object that Balth mostly talks to when sitting on the bed, movie nights aside. So the bear stays in the bedroom.

- The bookshelf would also be made of wood.

- The wardrobe is futuristic, with doors that can open by themselves with sensory detection. Also, unlike what that poor “drawing” shows, the wardrobe is “taller” than it is “larger”.

- The armchair is an egg chair.

  - They sleep

- They spoon

- Balth is the big spoon because 1. he’s taller and 2. he grew up sleeping while embracing a teddy bear and old habits die hard.

- When Balth goes to sleep or wakes up, he can’t help but play with Vinnie’s hair and give the small man a few kisses, feeling satisfaction in seeing his husband smile or try to pull away while laughing.

- Vinnie sleeps on the side closest to the window while Balth sleeps on the side nearest to Dennis.

- Balth’s nightstand has an alarm clock that’s basically just a holographic square with numbers on it, while Vinnie has an album or some random animal trinket. Vinnie’s alarm clock is not feeling Balth’s warmth against him. But if Vinnie has to use an actual alarm, the sound would either be some old-fashioned song or an animal noise (is this starting to get too much insistence on the “animal-loving” side of him ?)

- While Balth likes to read in the living-room, Vinnies likes it better to chill in the bedroom when reading. Also, during weekends and vacation days, Balth would sometimes read in bed before sleeping (yeah for some reason I really like the idea of Balth being a reader. I think it has to do with him being old or british ??? Weird brain is weird. And besides, if Balth reads, it would most likely be science fiction related to Professor Time). Vinnie uses this time as an excuse to cuddle.

- They have themed pajamas. Balth mostly has Professor-Time stuff (clocks, Heinz or Perry’s faces etc) while Vinnie has mostly animal-themed or food-themed pajamas.

- Vinnie sometimes sleeps naked in the summer. Balth is still trying to figure out how he feels about that.

- Random headcanon regarding Dennis : while he belongs to Balth who keeps him close when in doubt in order to vent or when he wants to get comfortable somewhere, I actually like to believe that, between the two, Vinnie is the one who talks the most to Dennis, mostly because Vinnie would just enter the bedroom and casually greet the bear, or he and Balth would have a dumb argument and Vinnie would playfully tell Dennis “Can you believe that guy ?” while pointing at Balth. Just, Vinnie being Vinnie and having random one-sided conversations with the bear.

And a little cute thing : while Vinnie really just talked to Dennis because why not, seeing the guy like the teddy bear so much would actually make Balth feel better about himself. I like to believe that grown-up men having plushies would still be seen as a ridiculous thing by most people (because toxic masculinity) and Balth got the habit of hiding Dennis when he was still trying to find the right guy for him. So seeing Vinnie have no issue whatsoever with the teddy bear and even liking him would definitely help Balth’s confidence, along with warming his heart.

- And since this post is all about headcanons : two things about phones and these two being sappy that have nothing to do with houses.

1. One day, Balth left his phone on a table and Vinnie decided to take a selfie with it because why not. After seeing that, Balth acted frustrated but ended up putting the pic as his phone background. Ever since, Balth’s phone background is a picture of Vinnie. The most recent one is from “We’re Going to the Zoo” with a picture of Vinnie holding squirrels in his arms while a third one is coming out of his pistachios-filled pants. The pic on the phone is a closeup, only showing Vinnie’s head and upper body. And for those who like angst, I’ll let you imagine how he must have felt having this as his phone background during the rogue arc.

2. Vinnie’s (numeric) phone password is 2703, aka march 27, the date of his wedding anniversary. The day is put first and the month second because Europe. Also, during busy weeks, this would be a good way for Vinnie to remember the anniversary.

(fun fact : I was trying to come up with scenarios for fics when I ended up thinking about Vinnie’s password and that number came to mind. So I just went “guess that’s their wedding date now”)

Squirrel Girl is Super Gay for her Roommate and I Want Everyone to Know

A gay infodump of sensible length by Rachel Tikvah

ALRIGHT, SO The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl was the very first comic that I ever read regularly, back when I was looking for more stories with strong female protagonists but didn't really know why. Back then I just thought I really liked strong female characters and not that I was being gay on main, but now I know the truth. The comic had a 5-year run, and it was the first time that Squirrel Girl, AKA Doreen Green, had had her own series. She had a brief run in the mid-2000's where she was established as someone who could beat up Thanos with her bare hands well, more like squirrel hands but was mostly a joke character that happened to be incredibly buff and had indestructible plot armor. USG decided that Doreen's next major life goal would be to enroll in college to become a computer scientist, because her writer, Ryan North, is really into computer science and they basically gave him free rein over Squirrel Girl canon for five whole years. Like, a solid third of the plots are solved with some kind of computer science smarts. It’s really cool. Anyway this is Doreen in one of the gayest solo pictures I could find of her on short notice, which is also one of the variant covers from the actual series:

And this is her college roommate, Nancy Whitehead:

I'm like, 99% certain that Ryan North intended for them to end up as a couple and Disney!Marvel told him no. So he decided to make them AS GAY FOR EACH OTHER AS POSSIBLE without explicitly saying that they were a couple, and it ended up going under the radar. What follows is evidence for that claim. I’m going to put a "read more” after this so it doesn’t clutter everyone’s dashboards, but please read on if you’re interested. There’s a lot of cute gayness after this point. I’m also going to put all of the image descriptions at the end, since they take up a lot of space and I don’t want to break up the flow of the post. Finally, a quick spoiler alert for one arc in the middle of the series and a couple major plot points from the final few issues.

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

So for a while it was just kind of hinted at that they’re in a relationship, mostly because they were basically domestic life partners for like, two whole years in-universe before the comic run ended. But it really came to a head with an arc that was ran about 2/3 of the way through the series. Some pictures of them being, like, so cute together in general and/or talking about how much they care about each other before I get to that arc, though: 

Also Doreen describes her and Nancy's cat as "co-parented" in one of the last issues:

ANYWAY, THE ARC. THE HYPERTIME ARC. So one of the villains created for the Squirrel Girl run (I think they liked making weird shit canon just because they could) was a dude who went by the name "EpicCrimez". He’s a crime streamer. He livestreams his crimes to an online audience. I don't know. *Throws up hands*

He had some kind of laser gun that he built out of scavenged alien tech but didn't really know what it did, so he shot it at Doreen and Nancy for kicks. It shot them into hypertime, so suddenly the rest of the world was moving at a fraction of the pace that they were. They were moving so quickly that they were slated to live out their entire lives over the span of a single weekend if they didn't figure out how to reverse the effects. And...they did. Live out their entire lives together. For the two of them, they were the only two people in the world. There were other people, but they looked like statues unless you spent a very long time observing them. Doreen and Nancy grew old together in a world where they only had each other. This is an incredibly cute domestic scene from a little while after they found themselves in hypertime:

Gosh, I wish I could find more official art from that arc of them just living together, it was so good. But the point is, they were both old by the time that Nancy figured out how to get them out of hypertime. And it wasn't ideal. Their bio signatures were stored in the gun that EpicCrimez shot, and they could essentially "reboot" their bodies from when they were first shot and send themselves back into the regular timestream. But they wouldn't remember anything about the life that they had shared together. Nancy almost didn't want to do it. She raised the possibility of them just living out the rest of their lives together, because she didn't want to forget their life together. This is the conversation they had:

"I don't regret any of it. I don't want to lose it, and I don't want to lose us." "You're not getting rid of me that easily." Every time I look at that last picture, which took up an entire page of the comic, I start to cry. We’re seeing the final moments of two people who love each other more than anything, who were each other's entire lives, savoring their last moments together and wondering what the future holds. Sacrificing the life that they built together so that their younger selves could live a better, fuller one. Dying in each other’s arms, scared but comforted by the fact that they had each other. And then the arc ends, and they can't remember anything, so the status quo is restored. They have some paintings they made of each other while they were living together in hypertime, but they move on pretty quickly without ever knowing the significance of those lived decades. Still, it's clear in the arcs that follow and the adventures they embarked on afterward that they would die for each other. All of that continues until the end of the last arc. Their shared apartment's been blown up at this point by a supervillain who wanted to ruin Doreen’s life before eventually killing her. And in the aftermath of the fight, they're sifting through the wreckage for anything that survived (don't worry, the cat got out in time) when they find the picture that they painted of themselves during the hypertime arc:

They have a really cute conversation about how this chapter of their life is over, but they're going to be okay and they're going to build a new life together. And then Nancy basically tells Doreen that she can't live without her:

And then Doreen says something super queer-coded about how she likes the idea of the world knowing her secret identity now:

On the very last page of the comic, after all of the action is over and the series is about to end, they're talking to each other in what's supposed to be a twitter thread and Doreen asks Nancy a very thinly veiled question about whether she still wants to spend time with her now that her identity's out. She pretends it's about a class project, but it's really not about the class project. Here's how that conversation goes:

With no knowledge of what happened during the weekend when they shared their entire lives together, without ever having heard Doreen say it to her before, Nancy’s heart still knows which words to choose. "...you're not getting rid of me that easily. <3" I believe that the author of the series, Ryan North, did as much as he possibly could to portray them as a couple without saying it outright. And as the last piece of evidence to support that claim, I want to share a response he wrote in one of the series' last-ever letter columns:

"as for more Doreen and Nancy, I hope so too. A Squirrel Girl book without Nancy would feel like--like--like some sort of hypothetical "Super" "Man" book without an equally hypothetical "Lois" "Lane"!" It's easy to write off this analysis as wishful thinking, or as a misreading of the subtext. But when the author of the series says that these two characters are meant to always be together and compares them to one of the most famous couples in any comic series ever, it's clear that there's more to it than that. 

Some Additional Thoughts: 1) Doreen and Nancy are both probably bisexual or pansexual, since they both expressed romantic interest in men throughout the series but they’re both clearly interested in each other too. There might be an element of demiromanticism there as well if part of the reason that they’re into each other romantically is because of how emotionally close they’ve become over the years. I want to make sure that that facet of their romantic orientations doesn’t get erased, because bi and pan folks get erased enough as it is. Neither Doreen nor Nancy are lesbians, just super-cool WLWs.

2) HERE’S WHAT THE ISSUE 50 VARIANT COVER LOOKED LIKE

That’s NOT a fun, totally straight way to pose with your platonic gal pal. They’re so incredibly cute together! I have no words! In Closing If you got this far, thank you so much for letting me talk to you about a comic that’s very important to me, and a couple in that comic that I care about very much. I spent way too long making this (six hours and counting), mostly in writing the image descriptions, and I’m very proud of my work but very tired now. Hyperfixation is a hell of a drug. If this resonated with you, please consider reblogging it so that more folks can see it. If not, even a like is nice. I’d also love to engage with people who have their own thoughts, so feel free to leave some comments in the notes if you’ve got an idea/a reaction/any additional cute Doreen/Nancy scenes that you’d like to share with me. At any rate, this post has gone on long enough and I don’t want to ask y’all to read any more than you have to. So have a great day, good morning / afternoon / night, and stay safe. Thanks again for reading! ~Rachel Tikvah, AKA @transthaumaturge Image Descriptions: Image 1: [ID: Squirrel Girl, a young woman with light skin, is posing in front of a brick wall that she seems to have crashed through, leaving a perfect outline of her body. She’s facing away but looking backwards over her shoulder at us and smiling. She’s flexing upward with her right arm and has her left fist resting on her left hip. Her sidekick, a squirrel named Tippy-Toe, is standing in the cutout she left in the wall and is making the same exact pose while wearing a light pink bow around her neck. Squirrel Girl is wearing brown lace-up boots, fur-lined hot pants over grey tights, and a brown fur-lined jacket with sleeves that come up to her forearms and a symbol of an acorn embroidered into the back. She’s also wearing a hairband with fake squirrel ears on it over short reddish-brown hair. She has a large squirrel tail coming out of her hot pants that sweeps down in a curve behind her lower legs. The illustration is drawn so that everything is bathed in the light of a sunset, and Doreen is casting shadows on the wall in front of her.] Image 2: [ID: Two frames depicting a scene between Doreen and Nancy in their college dorm room, with many cardboard boxes still not unpacked and sitting on a bare bed mattress. Nancy Whitehead is a young woman with dark brown skin and short, curly black hair. She's wearing black tights, a white dress-top, and a yellow cardigan over that. Her arms are crossed as she holds her white cat, Mew, against her chest. Doreen is wearing grey tights and a black long-sleeve shirt with a wide collar and white stripes across the chest. She's holding Tippy-Toe up to Nancy with both hands so she can see her better. The following dialogue ensues: Nancy: "A squirrel? But weren't you the one who was all about pets not being allowed in--" Doreen: "Yeah, I know. But this really interesting person I met today told me that obeying an unjust law is itself unjust." Nancy: "...You know, I was worried I'd get a weird roommate, but you're all right, Doreen Green."] Image 3: [ID: Doreen and Nancy are both sitting on a lavender-pink couch in nightclothes. Doreen has short, orange hair. She is wearing a loose-fitting grey long-sleeve shirt and steel-blue cutoff shorts; Nancy has cropped black hair. She is wearing a dark purple top with sleeves that come down to her upper arms, and loose-fitting navy-blue shorts that come down to her lower thighs. Doreen is side-hugging Nancy as she says, with an ecstatically happy smile, “Nancy, you’re the greatest. You know that, right?” Nancy gives Doreen a full smile as she responds, “I’d always suspected it, but it is nice to have it confirmed.”] Image 4: [ID: Nancy is shown from the shoulders up. She has short, curly black hair. She’s wearing large, disc-shaped gold dangle earrings, and a red jacket with prominent shoulders and a yellow collar. She’s fixing the observer with an angry, determined stare as she says, “She knows this man wouldn’t dream about betraying her, or he’d have to answer to me.”] Image 5: [ID: Doreen and Nancy are eating breakfast at the brown, circular kitchen table in their apartment. Doreen’s wearing a skin-tight athletic crop top that’s striped in black, red, white, and blue. Her arm muscles are well-defined and clearly visible as she puts a spoon in her mouth, closing her eyes as she does so. She has a bowl of cereal in front of her, and half a banana in front of that. Nancy is sitting to her left in a pink camisole top that’s also exposing her muscles, scrolling through something on her smartphone. Her hair is in a yellow fabric wrap that’s knotted on one side of her head. A cup of coffee sits in front of her. The clear blue sky is visible through the window centered on the wall behind them.] Image 6: [ID: Nancy and Doreen are facing away from the vantage point, walking towards an Empire State University campus building and holding hands with their fingers intertwined. Nancy is wearing a long knee-length grey coat and black knee-high boots, with a baby-blue side bag hanging from her left shoulder. Doreen is wearing a magenta sweatshirt with the periwinkle-lined hood down, light brown form-fitting denim pants, and black ankle-high boots, with a dark brown side bag hanging from her right shoulder. Trees and bushes hem the walkway in on either side. The building in front of them is dark red, with glass doors and a row of floor-to-ceiling windows on the second floor. Doreen is saying “...we’re just going to have to take the long way around.”] Image 7: [ID: Doreen is facing towards the vantage point and is visible from the legs up, standing in front of a pile of rubble in the background. She’s wearing high-waisted light blue shorts over black tights, and a red windbreaker with sleeves ending at her upper arms that’s opened to reveal a white t-shirt underneath. Tippy-Toe is sitting on her shoulder. There are two people facing Doreen, each slightly in frame and silhouetted in black against the light of the setting sun. Doreen is fixing them with an angry, determined expression, resting her right fist at her hip while she gesticulates with her left hand and says, “So! I don’t know about you all, but Melissa kidnapping my friend and blowing up my life and my house and almost blowing up my co-parented cat makes me feel like giving her a piece of my mind. Friends...”] Image 8: [ID: A full comic page. EpicCrimez is looking like a dork in a green and black skin-tight jumpsuit, bright red ski goggles, and a green wig cap with his brown hair sticking out the back in a mullet. He’s standing inside a jewelry store and holding up a fist of expensive gems and pearls-on-strings as holds up his smartphone and speaks into it. He’s facing off against Squirrel Girl, with her allies Koi Boi and Chipmunk Hunk on her right, and Nancy and Brain Drain on the left. The following scene ensues: EpicCrimez: “And for those of you just tuning in, welcome to another successful heist by your boy EpicCrimez, streaming live! Now with 10% more live crime action than any other streamer! Don’t forget to like and subscribe!! I know some of you in EpicCrimez Nation have been forgetting to do that lately. Not acceptable.” Squirrel Girl: “You picked the wrong small business to rob, crime-initiator! Because this mall is protected by super heroes.” Brain Drain: “HELLO” SG: “And also an unrelated civilian friend I brought along too!” Nancy: (Not looking up from her phone) “ ‘Sup.” EC: “Check it out--Squirrel Girl and her miscellaneous friends are here! It’s action you won’t find on any other channel!” SG: “Are you...streaming your robberies?” (Nancy pockets her phone) EC: “Yeah I am! For money reasons! And with you “heroes” in it, I’ll make even more!” SG: (Whispering to Nancy:) “Question: a fight scene just gets him more traffic, which lets him profit from this crime even more--so does this mean we don’t fight him?” N: (Whispering back:) “I feel like letting him go causes more harm, but I look forward to us teasing apart the moral implications of this later.” SG: “Nice.” SG: (No longer whispering:) “I’ll like and subscribe, EpicCrimez! I’ll like fighting crime, and subscribe... to a worldview wherein the strong protect the weak!” EC: “Oh my gosh, are you like wholesome Spider-Man or something??” At the bottom of the page, small text says: “Wholesome Spider-Man, Wholesome Spider-Man/Does whatever a wholesome spider can/Is he tough?/Listen bud/He’s here to hear you talk about your day and tell you it’ll all be fine while taking you out for your favorite meal for dinner because he knows you deserve it.”] Image 9: [ID: Another full comic page. Doreen and Nancy are in their apartment together, and their friends Tomas and Brian (AKA Chipmunk Hunk and Brain Drain respectively) are frozen as they look down at the machine that Nancy is on her knees in front of, working on. Nancy, barefoot, is wearing cerulean-blue athletic pants, a black long-sleeve spandex shirt without shoulders, and narrow-framed glasses. Her hair is partially covered by a yellow cloth head wrap tied on the left side, with black dreadlocks spilling out the side and back. The machine in front of her is made of dull grey metal, about a meter tall and roughly circular. Wires dangle out of a hatch that Nancy is fiddling with. Doreen is wearing a flowing, dark-purple pantsuit with wide, ankle-length legs and a halter top with the sleeves tied off at her shoulders. Her shoes are light-brown ankle boots with a horizontal gap on the bridge of each foot. Her wavy orange hair is parted in the middle and down past her shoulders. She looks incredibly cute. The following scene ensues: Doreen: “What do you think?” Nancy: “I think--come on you stupid screw--I think we’re still years away from this thing working, if it ever does. Who knew time machine construction is really hard, except of course for everyone who has attempted it?” (She wipes her forehead with the back of her hand) D: “Hah! No, I mean my new outfit.” N: (Looking up and checking her gf out:) “Doreen! You look amazing!!” D: “Liberated it from a very expensive department store uptown!” N: (Now standing) “Tony paid for it?” D: Tony will eventually discover he was kind enough to leave some expensive jewelry in trade, yes. I pinned a note to him so he knows.” N: “There really are advantages to being friends with billionaire playboy genius philanthropists.” D: “Right?!” N: (Taking Doreen’s hands in hers:) “It’s a shame we can’t take a picture of you all dolled up.” D: “Not without standing still for a few months, yeah. But I was thinking about that. I picked up something else at another store downtown. Thought maybe it could help us with that.” (Holding up a shopping bag with one hand while still holding onto Nancy’s hand with the other:) “Nancy Whitehead, I thought you and I might take up painting sometime.” At the bottom of the page, small text says: “Tony Stark moves from meeting to meeting, his body accumulating dozens of notes every second. He sighs. Stuff like this didn’t happen before he knew Doreen. But then he smiles, because after all...stuff like this didn’t happen before he knew Doreen.”] Images 10-16: [ID: Several pages worth of comic frames, posted together to depict one scene. Doreen and Nancy are now old women, likely in their seventies or eighties. Doreen has short, grey hair. She’s wearing a tan button-up waistcoat and an orange ascot, brown flats with an olive-green skirt, knee-length and softly pleated. Her tail is sticking out the back of her skirt over the top, bushy and brown but with stiffer, less-dense hair. Nancy has her grey-black hair done up in a ponytail, a mass of tight curls behind her head. She’s wearing thin oval glasses, black dress pants, black flats, and a lavender cardigan with a flower motif along the edges, open to show the yellow-orange top underneath. They’re standing in front of a completed time machine. On either side are tall pieces of machinery, and in the middle is a round, flat metal dais hooked up to everything else with snaking cables. The following scene ensues: Nancy: “So...this is it, babe. The new machine.” Doreen: “Your secret project! Nancy, it looks like you started from scratch!” N: That’s because I did. I finally realized our old machine was never going to work. Maybe if we had a few more decades, but...there’s no time. And given that our backs are to the wall, I took a risk. I disassembled the gun right down to the metal, and examined all the parts. And I did find something: a data chip. Doreen, the gun stored our bio signatures when it us.” D: “What are you saying?” N: “I’m saying my new machine won’t send us back in time, and we’ll still have lost a weekend of real time. But it will restore our bodies to normal time.” D: (Hugging Nancy tight:) “Nancy! You saved us!!” N: (Resting her hands on Doreen’s shoulders:) “Not--quite. There’s a catch, Doreen. Our bodies will make it...but we won’t. Look, Doreen...I’m an old woman. I’ve spent most of my life in hypertime. This wasn’t how I saw my life going, but...I don’t regret any of it. I don’t want to lose it, and I don’t want to lose us.” D: “I don’t understand.” N: “It’s like restoring from backup. Our bodies will be restored to how they were the moment we were first hit. But--that necessarily includes our brains, too. Everything we’ve done since we entered hypertime--our entire lives spent together...we’ll forget.” (She looks at Doreen in distress) D: “I don’t either, Nancy. You’ve been the most important person in my life. But if we do go back--we can do it again. All of it. It might not happen again quite the same way, but--well, like you say...we’ll have all the time in the world.” N: (Their faces inches apart, they both tilt their heads down and smile sadly:) “Twist my arm, why don’t you.” (They both step onto the dais holding hands, and blue energy starts to ripple around them:) “You filled up Spidey’s web-shooters before we go?” D: “Yep. Again.” N: “You and me, saving the world.” D: “Well,” (holding Nancy’s hand in both of her own) "No reason we can’t do it twice.” N: “You know, there’s a chance things could turn out differently, now that we’ll have video games to distract us. In 40 years we might decide we don’t like hanging out after all.” D: (Hugging Nancy even tighter than before as the energy from the time machine starts to envelop them, resting her face in the nape of Nancy’s neck:) “Nah. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”] Image 17: [ID: Doreen and Nancy are sifting through the charred rubble of their apartment as night starts to fall around them. Doreen is wearing faded blue jeans and a navy blue t-shirt with a Captain America star in the middle. Over top of the shirt, she’s wearing a dark reddish-brown leather vest with four metal studs at the four points of the folded-out collar. Nancy is wearing black tights and a light green long-sleeve shirt with olive-green sleeves. The front of the shirt has a picture of Cat-Thor, Cat God of Cat Thunder’s head on it. The following scene ensues: Doreen: “So I know we’re only a few hours into it, Nancy, but I think my identity being public isn’t gonna be as bad as I thought.” Nancy: “Oh?” D: “Yeah, Tony’s given me lots of tips, and it does honestly help to know that my parents are protected by a robot tree with laser eyes and my friends live in a city with the most super heroes per square mile.” N: “Most super villains too, but--Hold on. I think I found it.” (Nancy lifts a picture frame out of the wreckage, charred around the edges but otherwise no worse for wear. It has a painting inside of it of Doreen and Nancy, arm-in-arm, from hypertime. Doreen is wearing the lavender pantsuit from before, and Nancy is wearing a tight-fitting lilac dress.) “...And it looks like you and I made it through just fine.”] Images 18-19: [ID: Two later comic panels from the same scene. They’re wearing the same outfits, but Nancy’s now cradling her white cat, Mew, in the crook of her left arm while she holds onto the picture frame with her right hand. The following scene ensues: Doreen: “Come on, let’s talk about it! If we’re starting a new chapter in our lives, and we can decide what’s in it, what do you want it to contain?” Nancy: “Doreen...” D: “What are the three things you can’t live without, Nancy Whitehead?” N: (Holding up the picture so that Doreen can see it:) “Fine. If you must know, all this girl needs to be happy are cats and squirrels and knitting and computers and friends and secret tattoos and super heroes and lots and lots of love. Also food and shelter. And water. And internet.” D: “That’s more than three things.”] Image 20: [ID: Same scene as before, a single frame with a close-up on Doreen from her chest upwards. Doreen cups her chin with one of her hands and says, “Honestly--I thought about it. I really did. But I realized that where I am now, I’m safe and I’m loved and I kinda like the idea of not having to lie to people anymore, you know? Even if it is just a lie of omission. I want to share my whole self with the world. I don’t want to have to hide who I am anymore.”] Image 21: [ID: Something resembling a twitter thread, with dialogue between Nancy and Doreen stacked chronologically as horizontal boxes. Their respective names and handles are at the top of each of their comments. Nancy is Nancy W. and @sewwiththeflo, Doreen is Squirrel Girl and @unbeatablesg. The following conversation ensues: Nancy: “You think I’d leave you high and dry??” Doreen: “I think I don’t want our lateness harming your grades and therefore harming your post-secondary education or career choices and therefore harming your ENTIRE LIFE?!” “So yeah I think you should switch to someone else, real talk. I honestly don’t mind, I promise.” Nancy: “Please. If there’s one thing I know about you, about me, and about how we spend our future together, it’s this. Doreen Green...” “...you’re not getting rid of me that easily. <3″] Image 22: [ID: A paragraph of text, black text on a yellow background. “As for more Doreen and Nancy, I hope so too. A Squirrel Girl book without Nancy would feel like--like--like some sort of hypothetical “Super” “Man” book without an equally hypothetical “Lois” “Lane”!”] Image 23: [ID: A group picture of Squirrel Girl and friends sitting down on a grassy hill and watching the sunset together. Kraven the Hunter is in the foreground for some reason, looking almost directly at the camera. In the background we see Koi Boi, Mary Mahajan, Chipmunk Hunk, Brain Drain, and Mew the Cat. In the middle of the shot, Doreen and Nancy sit together. Doreen is in her superhero outfit with Tippy-Toe on her right shoulder, and Nancy is in a yellow cardigan and jeans on Doreen’s left. They’re holding hands, fingers intertwined, as Nancy leans against Doreen with her whole body. Their heads are tilted inward towards each other, the side of Doreen’s head touching the side of Nancy’s, as they look off into the distance together.]

// loki spoilers

This is basically a huge infodump on my thoughts about the first episode, because I doubt y’all want to sift through my trauma-ridden ramblings. I’ll make another post for the rest. This is just everything not related to the IW stuff/my reaction to that. It’s general thoughts, theories, musings.

1. When Loki gets first taken into the TVA. Is that Peggy Carter in the background? Others have suggested it might be. What would that mean??? Will we see the TVA fix the mess the Russos made with Steve/Peggy (not likely) or is it just a lookalike? Who knows..

2. A skrull at the main intake desk! Idk not super relevant just interesting!

3. I’m kind of glad they changed the... uncomfortable scene... with the robot burning his clothes off. He gets more time to react to seeing the machine itself, and he seems more shocked (”Now.. H-hang on just a minute.”) than angry (”Now hang on just a minute!”) i still feel.. horrible for him, i’m glad nobody Saw him and that the machine didn’t grab the clothes off, but still. Ehhh.. uncomfortable.

He is beautiful though, don’t get me wrong - I’d just prefer a shirtless Loki scene where he wants to be shirtless? let him do what he wants with his body?? he’s probably felt so out of control of his body, from being jotun to falling through space that any invasion of privacy like that hits extra deep...

That being said, I recognize the utility of the scene for the narrative - his lack of control, his literally being stripped of what he was before.

4. WHO IS THE MAN WITH THE CAT. What is his name. I love that he has a mug with his cat on it. But I want to know more. Who is he?

4.1 WHY DIDNT YOU LET LOKI PET THE CAT Please,,, I am begging you,,, let loki pet the cat and have something react kindly to him and purr all happily at his scratching behind their ears plea s e

5. The info sheet. Now this is just a little nitpicky tidbit, but in a previous promo they listed Loki’s height as 6′4 ft and weight as 525 lbs. This is taken directly from the comics if I’m not mistaken. However, in the actual show he’s listed as  6′2 (Tom’s height and Loki’s presumed height) but I don’t remember if his weight is the same. Is Loki 6′2? 6′4? please let me know i want to know how smol i am in comparison

6. His little aggressive shaking of the ticket at the guard makes me giggle each time.

7. The fact the turnstile hits so low on him reminds me,, I am short compared to him. Those things hit my stomach/waist. That one hit his legs. I am once again asking Loki to pick me up.

8. The cartoon with Miss Minutes introducing the TVA is wonderful, I love the art style especially. But it raises questions about Variants... I guess Variants can just, pop out of nowhere? Any action could be the wrong one? And then once you commit the wrong action you either get returned or pruned? Yikes??? And THIS ties into another thing later!

9. The trial scene. I have a hunch - a feeling, a suspicion. That one of three things may be true.

A. The Time-Keepers never actually existed. They’re fabricated, and now whoever runs the TVA is actually using the excuse of “The Time-Keepers decree it so!!!” to carry out whatever They think is right. The fact we haven’t seen the Time-Keepers makes me.. suspicious...

B. The Time-Keepers existed, but they have since passed on, however that may have happened. Now someone is doing the same as above, using the excuse of the Time-Keepers apparent dictations to run things.

C. The Time-Keepers do exist, and do run the timeline/TVA, but maybe they’re not infallible? Maybe the TVA info video is lying or incomplete in some way? Idk I just feel like, something about the TVA and how they run things has to be wrong. It has to? Something is off. Again, this will tie into another thought later...

I have no idea if any of these are actually true! But Loki’s questions of “Who’s in charge here? What do they do? What do you do?” punctuated by laughter leads me to believe he’s suspecting something too, or perhaps just trying to figure this mess out.

10. Seiðr/Magic. We see in this scene, Loki’s magic (”powers”) don’t work in the TVA. (and a quick side note, did he have to Flex like that? do you have to make me see Loki’s bare arms Flex like that? be still my heart. anyway please get that collar off of him and let him rest for five minutes) This makes me wonder.. Why isn’t Loki in his Jotun form? His pale skin and blue eyes are decided by magic, are they not? I suppose this is 2012, so perhaps Odin’s magic is keeping Loki looking like that. But if magic doesn’t work in the TVA, why would his spell reach so far? Clearly Loki’s magic isn’t what’s doing it. How is Loki not appearing as a Jotun? Is his Jotun form repressed - is pale skin his default now, rather than something hidden by magic? I need answers!

11. he sounds so scared about being “reset” please dont hurt him,,

12. cALLING LOKI A PUSSYCAT? (lokitty confirmed) I think Mobius was goading him (Mobius strikes me.. As extremely clever. He’s trying to push Loki’s buttons to see who he’s dealing with. At least, I hope so. Because if he really meant that “You were born to cause pain and suffering and death... All so that others can achieve the best versions of themselves.” and that line about killing Frigga??? No no no he is not guilty. He had no way of knowing what would happen. It wasn’t right to send Algrim up to Asgard (i think algrim wouldve found the way up anyway) but there was no intent to hurt Frigga. I really hope you’re trying to goad him, Mobius, because if you believe that I trust you much less. anyway i digress) but wow is he pushing Loki’s buttons a lot. I can’t... Blame him entirely, I understand he’s trying to make sure Loki’s on his side, maybe I’m just too soft for Loki idk. But some of that was very cruel to say. /:

12.1 AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT MOBIUS. That scene with the girl in the church?? Did that little girl kill the men? Is that young Sylvie? Or is she using an illusion to make herself look young and innocent? What’s going on!!!!

13. LOKI SNATCHING THE LITTLE TIME-TWISTER DEVICE AND STOWING IT IN HIS POCKET.... POCKET....... sorry sometimes i get so caught up about loki that i just say random words in between little noises and squeals,,, i am a silly thing

14. CASEY. CASEY??? That whole exchange is funny. Poor Loki, just trying to intimidate this guy so he can escape but - Casey doesn’t know what a fish is. to be fair.... thor doesn’t seem to know what a raccoon is... right?

15. That bit with the infinity stones is kind of funny until you realize

A. Natasha died for a paperweight

B. Tony died from paperweights

C. Loki was tortured for paperweights

D. Oh, and Gamora died for a paperweight too. And Vision. Need I go on?

Then it becomes less of exclusively “haha funny” and now it’s a mix of funny and pain and gosh, is that a good way to sum up being a Marvel/Loki fan sometimes...

16. Loki gazing at the timeline all “Is this the most powerful thing in the universe?” or something, i’m sorry i don’t remember exactly... made me think of a meme and i shall make it presently.

17. I love that Loki got to see examples of how his family loves him but the fact he’s all “I can’t go back.” really just breaks me. It’s like he can finally see they love him after all of this mess, and now he doesn’t have the chance. Please, please let him be happy. Give him some relief. This is the Loki that just came off finding out about being Jotun, falling from the Bifrost, encountering Thanos, attacking Earth, facing defeat, and now he’s being thrashed around in this wild place and has just found out he inadvertently caused Frigga’s death (he did not kill her: his actions, by mistake, lead to her murder, let me be very clear) AND Odin will die AND all the rest... And he wants to be with them.

18. Loki’s reaction to Thor suggesting the hug makes me soft. Please I want to hug this little mischief man so so so bad-

19. Skipping over the iw parts! That’s for another post because this one will be grossly long anyway.

20. “I don’t enjoy hurting people.” and “It's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate play for control.” was all so, so validating. I’ve been trying to argue on Loki’s behalf for almost a solid decade. Seeing the show recognize that Loki’s not all just violence and hurting for “fun”, that he’s not unhinged and bloodthirsty.. Is so nice. It’s just so, so comforting. and it gives me hope for future episodes that they won’t go the route of “oh haha loki bullied and mistreated and stabbed thor for years!!! :)” loki cries during basically every fight with Thor and you want me to believe he stabs Thor for fun? absolutely not.

21. Theory.. Just another hunch.. So we know a fugitive variant, aka Loki, is running amok. Refer back to 8 and 9.C. What if the Time-Keepers never actually fixed the timeline into a single timeline? What if there are other timelines, and these different Loki variants have hopped over to the current one? Or, maybe the Time-Keepers did fix the timeline into a single one, and these Lokis are remnants from that huge time-war at the beginning? Time runs differently in relative spaces, they may have Just Left that war from their perspective!

I say Lokis and not Loki because we’re pretty sure there’s Female/Lady Loki, Old Man/King Loki, and possibly Young/Kid Loki. That’s at least three. From the peeks of Asgard and NYC we’ve seen from the trailers, I think we’re also getting an Asgardian King!Loki and Midgardian King/Vote!Loki. (unless our dearest variant is hopping into timelines and situating into them, but I doubt Mobius would let that happen..?) That’s five.

To further support this, keep in mind, I believe recently six (i think 6 regular and 6 rare...) different funko pops were announced for the series? I’m not sure if they’re in addition to the Loki and Mobius already released. If they are, there’s enough room for each Loki and maybe a TVA agent. One of the pops is supposed to have a buddy/companion I think? Maybe they’re making the cat guy into one, or maybe there’s something else (Throg, anyone?).

22. That is totally Lady Loki/Sylvie at the end by the way. Has to be. But why does she want the reset devices? Why did she snatch that TVA Hunter? Again, WHAT’S GOING ON

ANYWAY this was a very long post if you made it this far, I commend you.

Coming out of left field, but-

Currently hyperfixating on an old fave of mine, Loonatics Unleashed. SO. How would I, a writer who has not watched the full show in a while, rewrite it? [Also, where the heck can I grab me some files of this show, people have been making rather clean amvs recently so there must be a trove somewhere]

Keep the smarminess of all the characters. They’re amazing. What I would like to change about them is to deepen their characters more. (Also make them a little less angry and annoyed at each other all the time? Let these guys be casual friends more please? They take potshots at one another so much, let the team chemistry shine a bit more please.)

Slam, give Slam a little more character than he had. Make him have like, hobbies and stuff? Other characteristics besides wrestling and eating. Make this man really into photography or something on the side, come on. Make him play different parts of plans, don’t just use him like a wrecking ball. How amazing would it be if Slam was actually pretty great at espionage?

Tech and Rev are pretty perfect, honestly. I wouldn’t change them really. Maybe touch more on how they have a sort of rivalry going on at times, but they depend on each other. These two need to have some more visible bonding time as the only nerds of the team. I’d try to make the science/technology make a little more sense and relevant.

Actually, yes. One change I would make would be about establishing a difference for infodumping Rev during battle and infodumping Rev off duty. I’d like all of the teammates to be more encouraging of him sharing things and prattling on while they are hanging around the tower, but needing him to reign it in during serious situations. Also, giving Rev something more like a tap on the shoulder as a reminder, rather than forcefully closing his mouth. This would be addressed. 

Ace? Honestly I don’t remember much about Ace as a character beyond Leader, Wisecrack, Sword. He needs better character flaws. Maybe he actually has trouble with the people side of leadership, solving disputes within the group and that sort of thing, but his skill with thinking on his feet and battle abilities make him a good leader in those moments. I’ve also seen posts about emotional control, which is good.

Lexi isn’t toooo bad. They put in a little bit of work to make her not just “the team girl,” but I’d try to add more to it. What was she studying in university? What if it was medicine? The team really needs SOMEONE who knows some first-aid. Delve more into her music passion too. She could write music and be shown knowing how to play a couple instruments before instruments become plot points. Also, personal preference but I wish she was Blue instead of Pink in her suit. I think blue would tie really well with her blonde hair and green ribbon and also...help her situation slightly as being more than “the pink ranger.” Plus there’s not enough cool color representation. Her friendship with Duck is also made cooler because they are contrasting colors. :)

Duck. I love Duck. I’d put his power-up discovery of Aqua Dense a little earlier and have it come up more. Emphasize his feelings about the struggle he has had with his powers. It must have been really frustrating for him. Also, I really wish the whole orphan thing was made more prevalent. It makes sense that his reaching for fame and greatness could have been a way to “cope” with his past. I’d make his adoption happen a bit later into his life as a way to make it feel more realistic of an option.

I barely remember anything about Zedavia and her brother. I wish her and Duck’s relationship was less rough from the beginning. I think I’d just try to make her more...like a person in the plot. I’d like everything involving her and the big bad be a big main mystery of the show that gets built upon as the episodes progress, rather than the last little bit of the season. (Making the viewers distrust her slightly for a while would be an EXCELLENT way to spice up her character. What is she up to all day? What isn’t she telling the team? Bring up these questions in a non-joking way to the viewers, make them wonder.)

I think a balance between humor and serious action is great, but I’d definitely tone down the slapstick and really emphasize character chemistry and their interactions.

I actually REALLY like the original villains of season 1 and found the character choices for villains in season 2 slightly distracting? Idk, I’d look for a balance somewhere. I think putting in more anthro animal characters as regular citizens and one-offs would help a little. The animal to human ratio feels off for what is essentially a mixed world

Setting? Cool. I like it a lot. I’d try to put a tiny bit of an anthropological/sociological worldbuilding magnifying glass on it, though.

Based on that Ace lava tears headcanon. I’d LOVE if we got to see more physical repercussions of the teams’ development of their powers. I’d like exploration of that. Does the team eat so much high caloric foods because powers use up a lot of energy? I’ve also had an idea that Lexi’s ribbon around her ears actually does double duty as a slight muffler for her ears so that her superhearing is not detrimental to daily life, but still usable in the field. Can Tech age? Very interesting potential for exploration.

Those are the rambling thoughts I’d been having in my head for like, a day. I have no energy to write a fanfic for my ideas or anything, but I hope this might, give inspiration? idk.

Ready Player Two — Opening Cutscene & Chapter 0

Hello again.

It’s been a while. I haven’t been active on this blog since, fittingly enough, Ready Player One. I was going to do this sooner—even had an alarm set up and everything—but then, it turns out, I’m feeling so much negativity about the world in general that a book just pales in comparison.

Seriously, I had to scrap this post’s entire intro because it’s not even 2020 anymore as I write this. And you know, maybe that’s for the best. I’m not really in the mood for doom and gloom and bitching anymore. I uninstalled Twitter from my phone a while back, I’ve been doing good at my daily writing sprints, my biggest fanfic project concluded on a positive note from people I didn’t even realize had been following it for years.

So I don’t know what this is going to be like. My commentary, I mean; I’ve heard echoes of what the book is like, so I’m not expecting a surprise there.

The book opens right after the end of Ready Player One, in a “Cutscene” where Wade recounts to us what happened after he won Halliday’s contest. It also assumes you remember exactly who the main characters of the book are, which is a bold move for a sequel that came out almost a decade after the original.

Technically, I could just look up the details I’m fuzzy about. But also, I think it’s more authentic if I don’t. I trust my memory enough that if I’m wrong, it’ll be in subtle enough ways that it’ll almost be a private jokes between all of us. An “if you know, you know” sort of error system. And I don’t think there’s anything more true to the spirit of this book than that.

Shoto had flown back home to Japan to take over operations at GSS’s Hokkaido division.

So Wade starts his tenure with nepotism. Wasn’t Shoto really young? Why is he qualified to run anything?

Aech was enjoying an extended vacation in Senegal, a country she’d dreamed of visiting her whole life, because her ancestors had come from there.

You know what, I’m not touching “send the token black character back to Africa.” This isn’t my lane.

And Samantha had flown back to Vancouver to pack up her belongings and say goodbye to her grandmother, Evelyn.

Why is she saying goodbye? Why, she’s moving to Columbus to be with Wade, of course! It’s not like there was anything else in her life. Was there? And why isn’t she referred to as Art3mis? I’m pretty sure Wade found out all of their offline names in the last book, and the inconsistency mildly bothers me.

These three sentences are back to back, by the way. Someone—I forget who—once described Ready Player One as a book that’s fun to write a wiki about, because it’s got fun concepts to summarize about until you realize that all the emotional connective tissue you need to turn a list of things into a story is missing, and that’s roughly how this first page feels.

Hell, the first line of the book is Wade telling us he remained offline for nine whole days after winning the contest, but by the end of the second paragraph we’re already to him logging back into the OASIS to "distract himself from [his and Samantha’s] reunion.

I’ll give Ernest Cline one thing: it feels like he wrote this opening nine days after the first book and did about as much maturing as a teenage boy would do between the two books.

Way more time is spent describing Wade’s OASIS rig, or the in-game planet where the climax of the last book happened, than anything else in this introduction. He is immediately greeted by a crowd of adoring fans who have been waiting over a week for him to come back in the game, because they’re all grateful that our protagonist and his friends restored their avatars after they were annihilated by the Sixers.

You’d think the adoring fans would serve some kind of purpose, or that something would happen, but no. Wade immediately goes “ew, people” and teleports away, since he essentially has ultimate powers within the game. With a caveat: the powers are actually coming from the Robes of Anorak he’s wearing, and I’m mentioning that in the hopes that it will pay off sometime in the book’s future, assuming Cline at least learned to do that. But still, let’s not skip too fast the fact that we introduced that crowd of adoring fans for no other purpose than to tell us they’re out there, because it fits right in with the last book’s attempts at saying as little as humanly possible in as many words as possible.

Anyway, Wade went back into Anorak’s study, where he arbitrarily checks out the Easter Egg he got at the end of the last book, and finds an inscription on it. I was dreading another riddle, but no, it’s just straight-up instructions to a vault in the GSS archives, so Wade logs off and goes to check it out.

Of course Halliday had put [the archives] [on the 13th floor]. In one of his favorite TV shows, Max Headroom, Network 23’s hidden research-and-development lab was located on the thirteenth floor. And The Thirteenth Floor was also the title of an old sci-fi film about virtual reality, released in 1999, right on the heels of both The Matrix and eXistenZ.

I’m equally shocked that it took two whole pages (on my ereader) to get to the first slew of references, and that one of these references is from 1999. I didn’t know we were allowed to think of anything that isn’t the 80s. Speaking of which, I’ll spare you the whole paragraph, but the book does feel the need to explain why it’s vault 42.

Inside the vault, there’s another egg containing a super-fancy and advanced OASIS headset. The egg also has a video monitor that plays a video message from James Halliday shortly before his death.

But despite his condition, he hadn’t used his OASIS avatar to record this message like he had with Anorak’s Invitation. For some reason, he’d chosen to appear in the flesh this time, under the brutal, unforgiving light of reality.

That oh-so-important message? An infodump about the headset’s working. He called it an OASIS Neural Interface, ONI for short. It basically lets you experience the OASIS through all your senses with sensory input just like the real thing, you know, that thing Wade had to get a fancy suit and massive rig to do in the first book. And yes, Wade does spend a paragraph or two comparing it to other works of science fiction. Of course he does.

More importantly, it also records all the sensory input into a separate file, which can then be replayed over to re-experience said sensations, or live someone else’s experiences. Halliday tries to frame it as a tool to generate communication and empathy, seemingly all without acknowledging the potential creepiness of that. But hey. Who knows. Maybe that’s because this is the setup stage, and it’ll pay off eventually.

I also wondered about the name Halliday had chosen for his invention. I’d seen enough anime to know that oni was also a Japanese word for a giant horned demon from the pits of hell.

Add “reducing Japan to anime” to the list of things the book has failed to improve upon. By the way, the narration insisted on spelling out ONI letter by letter earlier, so it’s weird to make that link now. It’s also just kind of inelegant to just tell us “this is the symbolism behind the name”, but that’s just the sort of thing I’ve come to expect from this book.

Anyway, the reason Halliday kept this for his successor to find is he wants Wade to test out the technology and decide if humanity is ready for it. Why Halliday thinks the most glorified pop culture trivia / video game competition qualifies you for such a decision should be a problem, but sadly, a lot of billionaires have said and done a lot of dumb and eerily similar things in the past few years since I read Ready Player One, so actually, I can’t fault the book for that one. Tragically, our fates really are in the hands of people who should rightfully be cartoon villains.

To his credit, Wade does question Halliday’s motives in keeping this under wraps at all rather than releasing it himself. So hey, maybe it really is setting something up.

Wade goes back to his office with the ONI, and we’re treated with this lovely piece of narration:

I was grateful that Samantha wasn’t there. I didn’t want to give her the opportunity to talk me out of testing the ONI. Because I was worried she might try to, and if she did, she would’ve succeeded. (I’d recently discovered that when you’re madly in love with someone they can persuade you to do pretty much anything.)

There’s a lot to unpack about the implications this has for their relationship, but it’s way too early in the book for me to editorialize when one character hasn’t even been on the page yet. So I’ll just leave it here for the record. Hopefully you see the problem without me needing to point it out anyway. If not, feel free to hit my inbox.

So Wade, confident in the fact that Halliday would have warned him if there were any risks to using the ONI, decides to try it out. Even though he immediately follows up that statement with this:

According to the ONI documentation, forcibly removing the headset while it was in operation could severely damage the wearer’s brain and/or leave them in a permanent coma. So the titanium-reinforced safety bands made certain this couldn’t happen. I found this little detail comforting instead of unsettling. Riding in an automobile was risky, too, if you didn’t wear your seatbelt…

Wade. My dude. What the fuck is this simile. And why don’t you see that maybe a machine where you’re forcibly trapping yourself inside a virtual reality might be dangerous? Hell, when I said this was setting something up, I was expecting something vaguely interesting about the potential breach of privacy, or how you don’t need to literally walk in someone’s shoes to feel empathy for them, or anything substantial, but now I’m worried it’ll just end up as “man, sometimes science fiction machines will scramble your brain, isn’t that weird”?

Like, I don’t know, to me “it will put you in a coma” sounds like a good reason for Halliday not to release the ONI. Maybe we can still make it into a commentary on how corporations will sell stuff they know is directly harmful if it can make them a profit. Who knows.

The book waffles on about more risks, and the mechanics of how the ONI activates, and the warning disclaimer when it does turn on. Specifically, there’s a time limit of twelve consecutive hours, after which you’ll be automatically logged out, because yes, using the thing for too long can also cause brain damage.

Gregarious Simulation Systems will not be held responsible for any injuries caused by improper use of the OASIS Neural Interface.

See, now there’s the sort of thing that could be a source for commentary, but no, instead it’s thrown in there like it’s nothing and Wade glosses over the entire warning, and instead keep wondering why Halliday didn’t just release the ONI if even the safety disclaimers were in place.

By the way: this whole system has apparently gone through several independent human trials already, so I’m finding it hard to imagine that it’s actually a secret Halliday took to the grave as Wade says. Unless he also had everyone involved in those trials killed afterwards. Or maybe they all ended up with brain damage which rendered them incapable of talking about it.

And before you think I’m being unfair and maybe we’re supposed to understand that ourselves even if the protagonist doesn’t, I’ll remind you that the book didn’t trust its reader to know what the number 42 is a reference to, or what an oni is, even though I don’t think anyone in the target audience wouldn’t know about these two things.

There’s also the fact that, since this book came out, a video game did release with a scene intentionally designed to cause seizures, and it had countless fans flocking to defend it over that fact. So you’ll have to excuse me if I’m not assuming this book’s stance on whether your video game console causes brain damage and possibly coma is actually a bad thing, or just an acceptable risk.

Wade certainly seems to think so, since he agrees to the terms of service.

As the timestamp faded away, it was replaced by a short message, just three words long—the last thing I would see before I left the real world and entered the virtual one. But they weren’t the three words I was used to seeing. I—like every other ONI user to come—was greeted by a new message Halliday had created, to welcome those visitors who had adopted his new technology: READY PLAYER TWO

Well now that’s just silly.

And that’s our opening cutscene. And while this post is already long enough, I feel like I have to go on to chapter 0, because it feels like barely anything has happened so far. We didn’t even introduce any new character motivation or conflict, or a mystery to set the plot into motion, unless I’m supposed to think “why didn’t Halliday release this?” counts.

So Wade is back into the OASIS, and tells us about how much more real it all feels thanks to the ONI. I especially have to question how he can smell or taste anything—both of which he tells us he can. Like, who coded that? Did Halliday implement every single smell and taste himself, without anyone noticing? I hope you don’t need me to tell you that’s not typically how features are added to a large-scale video game.

If it feels like I’m nitpicking at the logic of the book, even though I always say I’m not very interested in that and would rather talk themes, it’s because I am, because there isn’t much else to discuss so far. Wade is happy about tasting virtual fruit. That’s the scene.

He tests out if he can feel pain, but no, the ONI reduces pain (a gunshot is translated as “a hard pinch”). On one hand, good, it would be a nightmare otherwise. On the other hand, I sort of hope there’s a setting for that in there, because otherwise, you just lost an entire clientele of kinksters.

This was it—the final, inevitable step in the evolution of videogames and virtual reality. The simulation had now become indistinguishable from real life.

Ah, now we have some juicy themes. Because if you think this is the inevitable final step in the evolution of video games, I invite you to look at literally any other art form, and what happened to them once hyperrealism became easy. Hint: they didn’t stop evolving, because it turns out realism isn’t the only goal one can achieve with art.

The realism discussion is not a new one in video games, mind you. In case you’re out of the loop: most of the big-budget blockbuster games (“AAA” as they’re known) are aiming for hyperrealism nowadays, and it results in development teams being forced to work in horrible conditions (known with the equally horrible euphemism of “crunch”). And, because it turns out that 1) humans working themselves to the bones isn’t healthy and 2) racing for realism with little to no vision besides it makes for poor creativity, a lot of these games come out as disappointments. Oh, there are hordes of Gamers™ who will defend them to the bitter end, but inevitably, in the months following release, the defense cools off while the criticism keeps on going, because the defense was a knee-jerk reaction born of a mix of people hyping themselves up for a game they hadn’t seen that much of yet, then attaching a part of their identity to liking that thing.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that this throwaway line feels like it comes from someone who is so out of touch as to accidentally support a world view that has in fact resulted in the biggest part of the industry stagnating artistically while growing more toxic for the people working in it. All the while, more and more independent games come out every year, proving that that realism is nowhere near the most important thing to making a game good, and that you can achieve much better results with a small team.

What I’m trying to say is: watch Jim Sterling’s channel, they’ve been bleeding out subscribers since they came out as nonbinary and make much better commentary on this topic than I could, and play Hades.

Back to the book, which sadly hasn’t become any more interesting since I decided to go on a tangent. Wade tests the ONI functions some more, all the while musing on how he knows Samantha would disapprove but that he doesn’t care, because what loving relationship doesn’t consist of that?

Among the functions, he tries the ONI files, the aforementioned recordings of someone else’s experiences. Specifically, a woman, which Wade tells us by telling us he suddenly has breasts, I suppose because Ernest Cline saw that subreddit about men writing women and went “I want a piece of that”. Oh, and also, those sample files were recorded from real people, in the real world. And yes, this goes exactly where you think it does.

SEX-M-F.oni, SEX-F-F.oni, and SEX-Nonbinary.oni

Look, I actually started writing a complaint about the boobs thing, and I deleted it, but now Cline is doing it on purpose. So, here goes: I saw a quote from this book on Twitter that looked like Cline attempting to make up for Wade’s casual transphobia in the first book. It wasn’t good, but it at least sounded like he was trying. So to immediately get this is…a lot? Let’s go for a lot.

I can almost excuse the use of “M” and “F”. You gotta name your files and you could excuse a non-exhaustive list. But…nonbinary? On one hand, I want to know what Cline means. On the other hand, I don’t think he can come up with an answer I’ll find satisfactory.

We are thankfully spared from finding out because Wade has just lost his virginity to Samantha a few days ago and he’s 1) not ready for this and 2) pretty sure this counts as cheating. You could make a case that this is more like porn, but I can see that this is more of a personal distinction anyway, and I can respect that one. Plus, you know. I don’t want to find out.

Wade logs off, and he can’t tell the difference between the OASIS with the ONI, and decides this will change the world. And then it’s back to the “how did he do it and keep it a secret”, even though Wade now finds out in the documentation that this had been in development for twenty-five years, basically since the OASIS launched. So it’s not really that it’s a secret, so much as there are a lot of people under very strict NDAs out there. Or, again, they’re all dead and/or otherwise incapacitated.

The ONI is the product of the Accessibility Research Lab, and Wade tells us about other stuff that the lab has produced using similar technology, mostly for medical purposes.

GSS patented each of the Accessibility Research Lab’s inventions, but Halliday never made any effort to profit from them. Instead, he set up a program to give these neuroprosthetic implants away, to any OASIS users who could benefit from them. GSS even subsidized the cost of their implant surgery.

Look, it’s nice that you want Halliday to be the good guy through and through, but it’s kind of hard to take any social commentary seriously when you think this is how a billionaire is made. Hell, even when he shut down the lab and fired its entire staff, he gave them a big enough severance package to set them for life. You know. Capitalism!

Hey, remember when Samantha said she was going to end world hunger if she won the contest, a thing billionaires right now could be doing, but aren’t, and she is now the co-owner of GSS? Yeah, I kind of hope the book remembers that too.

Speaking of the co-owners, the book just completely skips over the debate that our four main characters have over whether or not to release the ONI to the world. All we know is that they voted, and the vote goes in favor of releasing it. I mean, why have characters who could have opinions and feelings that could create a discussion? That might make us care about them! And who wants to care about characters in a story?

We put them on sale at the lowest possible price, to make sure as many people as possible could experience the OASIS Neural Interface for themselves.

What exactly is “the lowest possible price” here? Your company literally owns money. Like, OASIS money is real money. There is literally nothing stopping you from giving them away, especially because what you’re giving away is access to the platform you’re already running for a profit.

It’s almost like, even trying to make “good billionaires” out of its protagonists, the book can’t stop and actually make them significantly good.

Oh, I should mention. If you thought my Ready Player One review was angry at capitalism, wait until you see what the past couple years have done to me.

Anyway, once they his 7,777,777 simultaneous ONI users, a new riddle shows up on Halliday’s website. Because yep: our plot is apparently not about the implications of releasing the ONI, or any of the potential ideological discussions associated with that, it’s another riddle. Oh boy, do I wish I’d known that.

Seek the Seven Shards of the Siren’s Soul On the seven worlds where the Siren once played a role For each fragment my heir must pay a toll To once again make the Siren whole

I cannot wait to have the book give me just not enough information to solve the riddle until it’s solved by the book itself. That was so much fun the other…what was it, five times? Six times? Something like that. Wade already tells us the Siren might be Kira Morrow, because her alias was named after one of the sirens of Greek myth, so I can’t wait for that plot point to stick around. It was so fun to hear all about this man pining for another man’s wife the first time!

So this is the “Shard Riddle”. People are apparently convinced it was made by Wade and his crew as a publicity stunt, but of course, they know that that isn’t the case, and they also don’t know what that riddle is supposed to lead to. So, that’s great. We have a puzzle, and we also don’t know what the stakes are. All we know is that Wade wants to solve the puzzle essentially because it’s a challenge.

We skip over a year, and Wade tells us about how IOI collapses and gets absorbed by GSS because of the ONI’s launch. Remember IOI? They were the bad guys, so I guess we have to cheer?

GSS absorbed IOI and all of its assets, transforming us into an unstoppable megacorporation with a global monopoly on the world’s most popular entertainment, education, and communications platform.To celebrate, we released all of IOI’s indentured servants and forgave their outstanding debts.

On one hand: good for the slave. On the other hand: not gonna cheer for a monopoly, you guys.

Another year’s skip, and now 99% of the OASIS users are using the ONI, and yes, that includes trading their experiences with one another too. And I guess we’re still hand-waving any possible problems associated with that technology, because the technology is made so that all recordings must be shared and played through the OASIS.

This allowed us to weed out unsavory or illegal recordings before they could be shared with other users.

How? Do you know any of the problems associated with content moderations on the current platforms? I don’t know if I want to point to Youtube’s extremely faulty algorithm, Twitter’s complete apathy towards its Nazis, or Facebook doing moderation by making underpaid staff watch all potentially problematic content, which resulted in serious psychological damage to said staff.

You can’t just say that as if it solved everything. The chapter later says this is handled by an AI called “CenSoft”, and as an AI engineer myself, let me tell you: this is not going to work. Again: Youtube is the way it is for a reason.

It also let us maintain our monopoly on what was rapidly becoming the most popular form of entertainment in the history of the world.

And again, monopolies are totally a good thing as long as it’s in the right hands!

When I’m implying that the book does not care for any of these potential problems, I mean it. These enormous ethical issues are sidestepped in cold narratin, and we just keep going on introducing new slang that I hate, but have to quote so help you keep up.

“Sims” were recordings made inside the OASIS, and “Recs” were ONI recordings made in reality. Except that most kids no longer referred to it as “reality.” They called it “the Earl.” (A term derived from the initialism IRL.) And “Ito” was slang for “in the OASIS.” So Recs were recorded in the Earl, and Sims were created Ito.

There. You have been infodumped.

In the midst of all this (still extremely dry) exposition about how this changed media, we also get this tidbit:

You could take any drug, eat any kind of food, and have any kind of sex, without worrying about addiction, calories, or consequences.

Now, I was going to rant about this, but then, a page later, this happens and spares me the trouble:

I’d struggled with OASIS addiction before the ONI was released. Now logging on to the simulation was like mainlining some sort of chemically engineered superheroin.

So, you are aware that addiction isn’t just possible, but extremely facilitated by this. But sure, no worries! It’s perfectly safe! Because our protagonists are good.

Also, remember how the last book ended on a weak attempt at having a moral that maybe the real world is good, actually? Yeah, Wade tells us the ONI helps poor people live enjoyable lives in the OASIS. So. Fuck that message, I guess. It only applies if you’re the literal wealthiest man on Earth.

And me? All my dreams had come true. I’d gotten stupidly rich and absurdly famous. I’d fallen in love with my dream girl and she had fallen in love with me. Surely I was happy, right? Not so much, as this account will show.

Aside from the aforementioned returning OASIS affiction, there’s the Shard riddle that Wade is now obsessed with, to the point of offering a billion-dollar reward to anyone with information about the riddle’s answer.

I announced this reward with a stylized short film that I modeled after Anorak’s Invitation. I hoped it would seem like a lighthearted play on Halliday’s contest instead of a desperate cry for help. It seemed to work.

On one hand: good, Wade finally has a character flaw that the book actually acknowledges as a character flaw. I can work with that. On the other hand: this is all told to me in such a dispassionate that I am dreading how the book will handle this character flaw. Which is to say, I’m not expecting it to be very good.

(For a brief time, some of the younger, more idealistic shard hunters referred to themselves as “shunters” to differentiate themselves from their elder counterparts. But when everyone began to call them “sharters” instead, they changed their minds and started to call themselves gunters too. The moniker still fit. The Seven Shards were Easter eggs hidden by Halliday, and we were all hunting for them.)

Especially when this is something the narration feels is more important to tell me about.

Anyway, skip another year, and a gunter finally leads Wade to the First Shard. Solved that riddle, I guess. And wait, wasn’t part of why IOI was ~evil~ in the first book that they were paying people to find the Easter Egg for them? How is this any different, Wade?

And when I picked it up, I set in motion a series of events that would drastically alter the fate of the human race. As one of the only eyewitnesses to these historic events, I feel obligated to give my own written account of what occurred. So that future generations—if there are any—will have all the facts at their disposal when they decide how to judge my actions.

And that is the end of our chapter 0. And can I just say: what a mess already. I don’t think my snark can properly convey how utterly devoid of emotion this book’s writing is, and that alone is honestly more of a turn-off than anything else in the book so far. Even, knowing that I railed about it in the first book, I still feel newly unprepared for it. And it’s not like this double-prologue is making me hopeful that the book will show an ounce more critical thinking—or decent fucking humanity towards marginalized groups—as its predecessor.

So, that’s a lot to look forward to! For the sake of my sanity and schedule, don’t expect me to do such big posts every time. I’ll probably do one chapter a week from now on, if that. We’re in for a long ride, but I hope it’s worth it, at least.

Rating Some Psych Ships Because I Can

This is 100% my comfort show and I will probably never get tired of watching it. All of this is my personal opinion, and I'm not much of a shipper in the first place. I'm just bored and wanted to make a list. Also I realized after starting this post that I don't have any pictures for this list, but I'm too lazy to stop and go get some.

1. Shules

The canon main ship. Not actually bad, but could have been written better. Most late 2000s/early 2010s shows have this weird habit of slowburning the main pair and then realizing they only have like 1.5-2 seasons to fit in the rest of the relationship drama they wanted, so it just feels kinda rushed and sloppy. 9/10 they need to adopt some cats. Juliet had cats in the first couple seasons, Where Did They Go?

2. Shus

ADHD/Autism solidarity. As an aro-ace person, this is the qp relationship I want with my future partner(s) if i have any. Criminally underrated. Would work well as a romantic relationship too, I'm just too busy projecting onto both characters to think about it more. 11/10 this could be us (but i'm oblivious as hell)

3. Shassie

Has enemies/rivals to lovers vibes even though I'm pretty sure they were never technically enemies or rivals except in Feet Don't Fail Me Now. Everyone who complains about Lassiter being too antagonistic in the early seasons misses the fact that Shawn is equally assholish (I just rewatched season 2, so the snowglobe thing is the first example that comes to mind). They pretty clearly care about each other even in season 1. 8/10 one of those relationships that smacks you upside the head when you first hear about it but in retrospect it makes sense

4. Juliet/Gus

The closest thing to rational, no-nonsense people the core 4 have. Still not very rational or no-nonsense when it comes down to it. They have to keep their phones on during date nights because there is a very high chance that a) Shawn will call with an insane, barely-comprehensible clue to where/who the current bad guy is, b) Lassiter will call with a question about something they talked about 6 hours ago and haven't thought about since, or c) both of the above. 8/10 they definitely go stargazing on clear friday nights

5. Juliet/Lassiter

I personally don't like it. It feels like an attempt at Lassiter/Det. Barry Part 2. No hate if you like that dynamic, but it's not for me. Maybe if Juliet wasn't his partner? Their canon relationship reads very older brother/little sister to me, especially in later seasons, so it just feels odd. 4/10 you'd have to drastically change the story for me to root for it

6. Gus/Lassiter

Lassiter is definitely nicer to Gus in canon than he is to Shawn, but not by much. He would end up with a constant stash of snacks in the glovebox of his car instead of a handful of nuts and/or a protein bar. Not to headcanon characters as autistic or anything, but they would absolutely infodump on each other about their special interests. Equally tired of Shawn's shenanigans and hijinks about 50% of the time, the other 50% is Gus participating in said shenanigans and hijinks. 7/10 i could see it happening if they met under different circumstances

7. Lassiter/Marlowe

Included because it's who Lassiter ends up with in canon. Nobody really talks about Marlowe, but I think she and Lassiter are good together. There's definitely no shortage of love and support between them. Should have had more relationship fluff on screen to make it seem less rushed. 10/10 i wish we got to see Lily in Lassie Come Home

HOIOIAAO AWA USE THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO INFODUMP ANYTHING YOU WANT ABOUT YOUR GENSHIN OCS :Dc💖

Ahhh let’s go ! feel free to infodump about your oc too btw :) ( also your oc Amira is sooooo pretty like- I don’t have enough vocabulary to explain how pretty she is jfdhsjfds I’m looking at her respectfully 👁️👁️) Also I apologize in avance for any spelling mistake ! English isn’t my first language :’)

About Lilly:

She is a bow user with a dendro vision from Fontaine

She is really really shy and quite weak. But she is really smart and surprisingly good when it come to creat plan ! Also even if she is physically weak she is really good with her vision

Even if she is the older of my two oc (since she is 23) she is really small (roughly 155cm tall-) and younger looking

 Lilly didn't have the best childhood ever: her parents were travelers from Sumeru, the mother ended up being pregnant and didn't want to have a child with her in her adventure... so they dropped her into an orphan in Fontaine- Lilly as a child was extremely outgoing and was kind of that cliché of the tomboy (to be honest she is still a tomboy, it's just that the shyness hide to personality trait of her) and used to hang out with a lot of boys. However when they turned to teenager they kicked her of the group because she was "a girl" (something really stupid). After that she tried to hang out with girl wich ended up in a bad, really bad relationship with one girl(basically the girl was always really mean to her but made her believe it was for her own good). When she was around 15/16 she just straight up decided to be alone as she lost all trust she had toward people, this is when she got interested into flowers/botany and arts (which make sens since Fontaine is the hub of art and stuff) ! She really like painting flowers and she finds something comforting into taking care of flowers ( I think there is a quote in beastar that go like " I need the flowers and the flowers need me. We're all weak here so we have to support each other" and that sentence would explain perfectly Lilly mindset toward flowers). Also haha to add more angst to that... At one point when she was traveling to Sumeru with Lysandra she saw her biological parents, and she found out they had another child and they seem to live a happy life wich of course broke her heart since it made her feel unwanted again (but since I’m a sucker for the found family trope Lysandra was like “fuck that” and made her understand that she isn’t unwanted)

She really like listening to people and when she is travelling with Lysandra she really like when people talk about their adventure stories or about the history of where they are ! But she is too shy to ask most of the time :(

About Lysandra:

She is a claymore user with a pyro vision from Mondstats

She is part of the “my chara design absolutely doesn’t look like my vision” squad (her main color is purple, she is like the opposite of Beidou)

 Unlike her friend she is extremely outgoing ! It's quite rare for her to dislike someone (unless of course they did something really bad), she is that kind of character who will try to get along with everyone wich can be annoying to some-

She is the younger of the two being only 20 ! but she is the tallest as she is roughly 190cm tall. Also I suck at drawing muscles- so body wise she is meant to look like Noi from Dorohedoro :)

 She have 3 goal in life: 1st is becoming the strongest person alive (she want and will throw hands with Archon even if she know it will kill her) , 2nd is to become a well known adventurer and be the model of people and 3rd is to get a wife and maybe childs to share them her stories :)

Unlike Lilly again she had quite a cool childhood: her parents are really loving, she had some good friends and overall was great ! however Lysandra standed out a little too much and was what many old people called her "an oddity": Since she was a child she was extremely physically strong (like she had the strength of an adult as a little child-) wich actually scared some people- her strength only grew stronger as she grew up too the point where right now she can easily play around/fight with a claymore in only one hand- People often praised her for that as she could become the next great adventurer but thing is that she isn't really clever, she doesn't plan anything and jump straight into the action, wich is why her whole body is covered in scars and bruises (btw she wear her scares with pride , even if a lot of men told her it was unnattractive and that she won't ever get a husband..wich is great because she want a wife lmao)

She actually see Bennette as her little brother and do not care about his bad luck- after all she went thought bad stuff already, breaking her legs once more or getting struck by lighting is nothing- (you know that one vine “Hey, I’m a lesbian” “I thought you were american ???” I 100 % them)

Lysandra really like fighting but for her it’s more like a learning experience and not just for the thrill of thing. Fighting with people is a way to know more about them and creat stronger bond :)

About the two:

The way Lilly and Lysandra met is quite funny. On her 20 birthday Lysandra decided to get drunk...but like, badly drunk- so she ended up falling asleep drunk into one of those chart merchants use to take their goods… long story short she ended up in Fontaine and once she woke up she was just so insanely confused… she tried to asked some kind of help but people were a little scared of her because of her look- At one point she ended up spotting Lilly who was all alone painting flowers… She tried to talk to her but noticed she was really shy so she tried to make her feel comfortable- Thing is the two got interrupted by some treasure hoarder , Lysandra wasn’t impressed by them and used her vision but Lilly used her dendro vision at the same time- the two vision hurted badly  the mans ! Lysandra was surprised and the two girl quickly bonded over the fact they were vision holders… Lilly, who was still shy and insecure but hate to leave people alone, proposed to Lysandra to help her go back to Mondstats. On their way there Lysandra learned Lilly how to use weapons to defend herself (wich she ended up choosing the bow- Lilly wasn’t strong enough to hold Lysandra’s claymore), and Lilly helped Lysandra with a lot of thing such as cooking ( Lysandra suck at cooking) , planning, medecine , ext. The two girl quickly understood they where a perfect match for each other and Lysandra asked her to join her in her adventure… which Lilly accepted as much as she loved the comfort of her own life , she needed to step out of her comfort zone. Plus her life was boring and Lysandra kind of bringed a spark into her life of loneliness- and Lysandra needed someone to help her because being strong is great but if she die of something stupid well her strenght wouldn’t help- So yeah now they are a duo of adventurers who go around all of Tevyat and do stuff for people :) ! And I guess that would be enought for this post, sorry I always end up writting more than I say I will :’) Also unrelated but I’m 100% up for any other genshin impact oc interacting with mine so like anyone is free to ask how my oc feel about them/ how they feel about mine, ext !