#I love the song that plays during the scene but this clawed itself into my brain and wouldn't let me rest until I got it done | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dykeninthdoctor · 3 years

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let’s talk about c!wilbur and taste by sleeping at last, aka ava talks about his favorite song + character for a couple thousand words

to preface this, i’ll say this. this is almost where i want c!wilbur to go, rather than where he is now, but it is all based in where he is now, and everything we have seen so far. this is where i hope, and trust in cc!wilbur, that his character will go.

(after the cut, everything is /rp /dsmp unless otherwise specified)

i am alive. i am awake. i am aware of what light tastes like. the curtains drawn, the table set; i want to be. i want to be at my best.

“i am alive. i am awake.” guys,,,guys. he’s alive! one of the things i have noticed thee most about revivedbur’s most recent scenes is that...he’s alive! like. he’s just. he’s happy to be alive. he wants to watch the sunrise and relish in the feeling of rain against his skin, or at least that’s where he needs to get to. he needs to simply live.

“i am aware of what light tastes like.” this is very much along the same lines as to what i just said, but it also comes down to healing. light, in taste, represents healing, and love, and wilbur needs to learn the taste of love again.

when it comes to “the curtains drawn,” in the context of wilbur, i think of a theatre. he has always played a character. his clothes are not his clothes, they are a costume, and his face is not his own, it is a mask for his acted emotions to dance across, and his life is not his own, it is a three-act play in which he is the villain; he is the character that he thinks others want him to be. the best line i’ve ever read to sum this up is from the lumineers’ cleopatra, and that’s “but i've read this script and the costume fits, so i'll play my part.” with taste, the curtains are drawn. to me this means they are closed, and wilbur has finally burned the script he’s been following for his life, he is free of the narrative and he has stepped off the stage.

and with “the table set,” i just. tables are symbolic of family, often, and of union, where you come together, and i hope that that is in wilbur’s future. i want to see him bake with niki, and i want to see him eat dinner with phil, and i want to see him throw an apple to tommy before tommy even needs to ask for food. and i want him to feed himself, in love and in healing and in nourishment of this newly-revived body he has now.

“i want to be.” guys. GUYS. i’m going to go insane. he wants to be. he wants to exist. he does not want to act anymore, he does not want to play a part, he wants to be. please, please, please, c!wilbur, get to this point. please.

AND THEN. “i want to be at my best.” NOT ONLY DOES HE WANT TO BE. HE WANTS TO BE AT HIS BEST. AND YET IT IS A PROGRESSION. FIRST HE MUST LEARN TO BE. THEN HE MUST LEARN TO BE BETTER. BUT FIRST, HE MUST SHED THE COSTUME, SHED THE PART, AND BE. ONLY THEN CAN HE BE BETTER. i’m gonna chew drywall.

okay. next verse here we go:

it’s bittersweet, it’s poetry. a careful pruning of my dead leaves. it’s holy ground, a treasure chest. i’m on my knees and only scratch the surface.

okayyyyokayokayokay. “it’s bittersweet, it’s poetry. a careful pruning of my dead leaves.“ it’s bittersweet! it’s bittersweet!!! healing is always bittersweet. it hurts, to let pieces of yourself go in order to grow, but it is necessary, and sometimes things aren’t perfect, but it’s poetry! it is poetry as well. it’s beautiful, because you’re healing. it’s a careful pruning of his dead leaves! for things to grow, the death must be removed, and so too must wilbur clear the relics of his past that remain in his mind. he is so attached to the past, in many ways, and he needs to move on, he needs to prune his dead leaves.

“it’s holy ground, a treasure chest.” sleeping at last is amazing at framing humans as sacred beings. the holy ground is wilbur himself, his own mind, his own body, that he needs to learn to take care of again. he is worthy of love, full of things that prove himself so, and he needs to learn that too.

and then! “i’m on my knees and only scratch the surface.” he is only beginning to heal! he is only at the surface of this ground that he has broken in beginning his healing process, and there is so much more to come. i think the visual of this line is really interesting too, when you pair it with wilbur’s limbo being somewhere where he clawed at the walls as a plea for escape. and rather than it be that, he is now digging into himself, breaking down his mental walls, in order to heal, something we know he needs when we look at eight and learn that he needs to let people in to be able to heal, and the only way he can do that is to let down his walls. another neat thing about this! is that during “a deck of cards with a green smile on them,” when wilbur begins building the walls to their new hq, he is literally building walls dividing himself and tommy. physical storytelling my beloved :]

okay!! chorus time :D

like fists unraveling, like glass unshattering. we’re breaking all the rules, we’re breaking bread again. we’re swallowing light ’til we’re fixed from the inside

okay so this entire verse is about healing, and the different layers to it, the different things you need to do to heal. first, it’s “fists unraveling,” it’s letting go of your anger, it’s letting go of the past, and it’s unlearning everything you have learned up to this point, because you do not need to be angry anymore, not at the world, because it isn’t necessary to healing. this is also, in some ways, less of c!wilbur and more of his loved ones’, niki being the one who first comes to mind. wilbur’s loved ones need to unlearn their anger towards him, and wilbur needs to learn to let go. the visual aspect of that as well, contributes to letting go; when your fists unravel, you are releasing what you have been holding onto for so long.

and then we come to “glass unshattering.” this line is so interesting, ryan o’neal’s lyricism my beloved. it’s not glass being put back together, it is glass unshattering, the very inverse of glass breaking, as if the actions are being undone, not simply pieced back together but undone. and in the context of wilbur, he not only needs to make up for what he has done to hurt others, he needs to prove he will not do them again, because he can’t undo those actions! he did them and he cannot change that! but he can undo it in the future, by not doing it again. it’s a fun line to interpret especially because glass...can’t unshatter. it’s an impossible action. he cannot undo what he has done but he can prove he’ll never do it again.

and thennnnn we’ve got “we’re breaking all the rules.” guysssss, remember what i said about c!wilbur needing to step off the stage to begin healing? not only that, he needs to directly go against the script that he’s written. he needs to break the rules of the confines he’s trapped himself in. he is not a villain, he is a person, and he needs to tear up his script.

“we’re breaking bread again.” OKAY. OKAY SO. SO. i’m a big bread person. bread is everything to me. bread is love!! food itself is just. pure love!!! one of the purest forms of love you can get!! someone has made that for you and it is imbued with love!! they said here this is a piece of me for you to consume!! a piece of my love, for you to have inside of you!! this is a good compilation post to sum up how i feel about bread, but when you bring wilbur into it? again, it goes back to the symbolism of the table, and how he just. needs to heal his relationships. it’s “we’re” baking bread, it’s togetherness and it’s family and it’s consuming a food that represents love, together. he needs to break bread with his loved ones. (i would also love to see him bake with niki. might expand on this one.)

and then we go from that line to “we’re swallowing light ’til we’re fixed from the inside.” like i said, food is something that someone has made and they have said ‘this is a piece of my love for you to have inside you.’ love is light, and love is food, so food is light, and swallowing light? it’s swallowing love, it’s swallowing the purest forms of love you can get and it is stitching you back together from inside. wilbur needs that.

out of the woods, out of the dark, i’m well aware of the shadows in my heart. i want to feel tectonic shifts. i want to be. i want to be astonished. i want to be astonished. so i propose a toast:

"out of the woods, out of the dark.” wilbur has been trapped in his own mind for so long, quite literally with his limbo taken into account, and more metaphorically with his own mental spirals that he, so far, has been unable to break out of, but in the process of healing he will achieve that. out of the woods tends to mean out of the worst of it, and i think the wilbur we see genuinely already might be. he will escape the darkness of his own mind, he has escaped his own limbo, his personal hell, and he’s out of the worst of it. he has a long way to go, but he’s out of the woods.

with “i’m well aware of the shadows in my heart” it’s so wilbur it aches. it’s like. wilbur’s mind, and mental state, is so very complicated, and he is not aware of the impact he has on others, not entirely, but he also is, because he accepts the role of villain wholeheartedly because he thinks that’s what he deserves from the shadows in his heart, but i think in doing so, he still doesn’t realize what it means for his loved ones. it’s just. he’s so complicated. he knows of his own “evilness,” his shadows, but he doesn’t know of his hurt and pain and trauma because that’s buried even deeper than these created shadows, they are the real shadows, and for him to heal, he needs to become aware of those.

“i want to feel tectonic shifts” goes hand in hand with “this is my sunrise.” he wants to experience the world around him again, to be alive, to feel the earth under himself and the wind against his face. he’s alive and he wants to feel it. and shifts, internally, he wants to feel those too!! he wants to grow.

“i want to be,” i’ve already talked about, and this time it’s paired with “i want to be astonished.” not only does he want to be, to exist, to be at his best, he wants to! experience life! with all the awe he once felt! wilbur at his core is so very loving, and he wants to feel that for the world again. and it’s repeated twice! awe can come, not only for the world, but for the people he loves.

which leads into, “so i propose a toast:” this line goes directly into the chorus, and it’s so specific. a toast is an acknowledgement, a celebration, something i imagine that wilbur used when they won their independence, or before the election, or even in pogtopia, the night before they went into battle. and this time, it’s a celebration of simply. life. of healing. of mending. ryan o’neal, the songwriter (aka sleeping at last himself) said that “Because food builds and rebuilds our bodies, I liked the idea of raising a glass to healing broken relationships, and trying to be at our best. There’s so much vulnerability required to rebuild a relationship, and to just try harder...” this is what the toast is to.

chorus again:

to fists unraveling, to glass unshattering. to breaking all the rules, to breaking bread again. we’re swallowing light, we’re swallowing our pride. we’re raising our glass ’til we’re fixed from the inside. ’til we’re fixed from the inside.

and then the bridge:

we’re nothing less than a work in progress, sacred text on post it notes. we only speak of a world in pieces, let’s make a map of what matters most, where every fracture is a running river leading us back to our golden coasts. here’s to showing up:

these are my Favorite lines of the whole song so. aaaa

we start off with “we’re nothing less than a work in progress” which is. everything c!wilbur needs to learn. he plays his roles, he acts the part, but he doesn’t understand that he’s allowed to be imperfect, that he’s allowed to continue to grow. wilbur is stagnant, in a way, that while he moves from “role” to “role,” first the idealistic general and then the quietly-traumatized president, and finally the unhinged villain, he doesn’t let himself just be. a person, he doesn’t let himself be in progress! and additionally, since it’s a “we,” he needs to learn that other people are not stagnant either. tommy is not the same as he once was, no one is the same as they once were, as everyone is in progress, and wilbur needs to learn both of those things.

AND THEN. “sacred text on post it notes.” GUYS. HUMANS ARE SACRED. THEY'RE SACRED! but they are also messy and imperfect and so, so, fallible, they are post-it notes with scrawled handwriting scattered across the wall that is their life, and sometimes post-it notes will fall off, and sometimes they will be written in pen rather than pencil, and sometimes they are written so messily they cannot be understood, but they are sacred and they are messy and those things coexist and god does ex-gifted kid c!wilbur need to learn this.

“we only speak of a world in pieces.” this is Such a cool line when you consider that the dream smp is made up of complicated perspectives that only the audience is privy to, and the characters are so limited! their world is literally spoken in pieces, especially with the lack of communication. it’s a neat line in meta form, and when applied to wilbur, i think it’s part of the same mentality. it is “we,” and he needs to learn to not only speak of this world with himself, but with others, in order to “make a map of what matters most.” he cannot rely on only the pieces he has, and he must speak with others to glean the pieces that are just as important. map making in itself is a neat metaphor, it tends to mean a direction one could take, or getting more of a full picture in that you’re seeing the whole world (or whatever the map has been made of), rather than just what’s in front of you. in order to make this map, wilbur needs to talk, and begin to understand what does matter, because his concept of that, right now, is skewed.

“where every fracture is running river leading us back to our golden coasts” is soo vivid, and to me it like. it feels so much like l’manburg. l’manburg was their golden coast. and l’manburg is gone, but its people aren’t, and l’manburg was always about the people. and now, these people are all broken, they are fractured, but they are healing, and in their healing, those dynamic rivers, they will find their ways back to each other, and l’manburg, its spirit, will live in them again.

the transition into the chorus this time, is no longer a toast, not explicitly, but it is an acknowledgment “to showing up” and c!wilbur needs to show up to therapy. but also, showing up simply means being present, not only for others, but for yourself, and it is one of the first steps to healing, so, in a way, this is a very non-linear song about c!wilbur’s journey.

then there’s the chorus again:

and that’s it! if you made it this far, i’m kissing you in the forehead. thank you so much for reading, c!wilbur enthusiasts i’m holding your hands.

#c!wilbur #wilbur soot analysis #dsmp #wilbur soot #c!wilbur soot #i have been working on this for the past two days this is why like zero other posts have been rb'd #good lord my brain hurts #aven.txt

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 4 years

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I’ll Be Good (Favored Ones, Part 6.)

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Part Summary: Ever since the last bonfire, things seemed to be changing left and right so quickly you couldn’t process it. But one thing was for sure - there was something changing in your relationship with your mentor.

A/N: There are some clues about the bonfire scene, but you don’t get your small claws on it, at least... Not yet. Let’s keep it a mystery for now. Shall we?

Word count: 5 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme @peakymarvels @davnwillcome @pickleriiick @jodiereedus22 @gladiosamicitias @tamkashi @eternallyvenus @avengerssstuff @fangirl-inthe-us

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Late summer and early fall of 2037:

It took you a few more days to pick up enough courage and to go for a bow shooting lesson. It was the damned bonfire that you couldn't get out of your head. The feelings were brewing inside of you while you were confused to say the less. Who was even Joel Miller? You couldn't tell anymore.

There were times when Joel could confuse the living hell out of you. Like when he came to see you to your garage. Or that one evening. One thing, you knew for sure. Something had opened up inside of you. Suddenly, you felt opened up to imagine Joel not as a mentor, not as Ellie's father, yet you could see that he is a man. And a pretty handsome one for that matter. Every time he met you in Jackson, he gave you a small smile - once, he stopped by and asked about giving you a guitar lesson. Being surprised, you nodded.

Joel even gave you the tapes by A-Ha he promised he would lend you that night, so you listened to them at home. And these guys were talented as hell. It was a true joy to listen to their songs.

For the first time, you weren't excited about the lesson itself. Like, sure, you still wanted to learn how to shoot from a bow, but your mind was focusing solely on the realization you'll be there together for hours, alone, in each other's company. The idea of being alone with the man, maybe finding more about him, be allowed to talk to him without worries, that was awesome.

It was so strange, realizing something like that in the first place. For the first time, you've decided to have an afternoon lesson, so you had enough time to visit Eve. Ellie wanted to go there with you, but there were some things you didn't want Ellie to hear. You brought your lunch and all the necessary stuff with you, even the bow and the quiver, and a small flower of wild poppies into the dinosaur vase. When you arranged the flowers to look good, you sat down with the box on your knees, looking at the tombstone.

"I told you I'll be back pretty soon. It was just three days and holy hell, you wouldn't believe how much stuff went down, I swear." - You chuckled, looking at her name. Just like the first time you talked to her, this was helping you out a lot. It was somehow calming you down, having at least the feeling that Eve is there with you, listening to each word. - "The bonfire a few days back was... Great. I'm still kinda all over the place because all of it, and Jesus, you'd laugh so much if you'd be here now. I don't know yet, but I have the feeling that boy trouble is on its way. For the first time and for real this time." - A sigh came out of your lips as you played around with the veggies in your pasta salad.

"I can tell you'd be surprised... Maybe just halfway surprised it's about old Miller, huh? What can I tell you? I didn't know I have it in me. You'd probably tell me some of your lessons and tell me to listen to my heart, I know, I know. Why don't you answer me?" - You mumbled to the tombstone. It was childish to expect any kind of answer from the piece of stone, yet your heart didn't desire anything more than that.

"Oh, you're speechless, old-timer, I see. I'll try to sort it out. Maybe it's just a phase? It won't last too long for sure. I've probably just drunk too much... At least you're not on my mind that much lately. That's a good thing, right?" - With another sigh, you finished your lunch and packed the box into your backpack, remaining yourself to wash it later. - "Time I was on my way again. I'm probably late anyway. If anything happens, I come to tell you, don't worry." - You chuckled at the tombstone, climbing on your feet.

Then, you kissed the tips of your fingers, running them along with her name with a sad smile. Joel didn't like it when you came late to your sessions, yet you were already ridiculously late probably. As if that wasn't enough, just as you passed around the cafeteria, Ellie caught up with you with all of her things packed.

"What are you doing?" - You looked at her when she was trying to act unsuspiciously. There was this one small thing that happened at the bonfire - when you were sitting next to the old man, signing a song you didn't know at all, Dina was looking at you two. Suddenly, she turned her face at Ellie, saying a sentence Ellie remember by heart: They would be a nice couple.

Dina was drunk at the point, yet it made Ellie freak out. You and her old man in a romantic relationship? No way in hell. Yet as the days passed, the thought came up in her head more and more often. She wasn't all over the place, but it made her furrow.

"I'm coming with you. To look after you and to be your emotional support." - The green-eyed girl answered, making you stop to look her in the face with visible confusion. You loved Ellie - you did. But this was your chance to talk to Joel without being afraid someone hears you. And the reason she came up with was just dumb. Which the girl realized as soon as you scoffed happily.

"I'll be just fine with Joel. He had to put up with my ass for a month and a half already. I bet one more afternoon won't kill him." - The answer made Ellie sure she lost this battle due to bad arguments. Next time she would want to inspect the overall situation, it can't be a last-minute plan, but some well-thought reasons you won't be able to say a word against.

Dina was drunk, Ellie reminded herself inside her head. She probably has misunderstood the situation. She probably badly read the whole thing. Yet for a reason, you made Ellie worried she might be your number one for too long. Which resolved in her hugging you as her life mattered on it at the moment. Overwhelmed, you hugged her back, closing your eyes at that contact.

"I love you, baby." - She mumbled and clung onto you even tighter than before. Without a doubt, you nodded, closing your eyes for a moment. What on Earth was this for? Ellie suddenly seemed to be so gentle and vulnerable. It almost made you tell her to come along - Joel would be overwhelmed by joy, yet you didn't want to see the girl acting up. - "And I do love you back. Anything on Earth won't change that, sweet pie."

With that, you let her go, stepping a bit away. - "I need to get going. He'll be pissed if I leave him there for too long. See you later!" - You cried out happily, already walking backward in the direction of the gate.

As you suspected, he was already sitting there with an empty expression, watching the ground in front of him. Yet as soon as he saw you in the distance, he stood up, watching you coming closer with his thumb behind his belt. As you tried to catch your breath, your hands were already moving in a swift motion, telling him you want to say something.

"I'm so sorry. Eve was so damn talkative today and then Ellie wanted to talk too... I'm so sorry for making you wait." - Came out of you when you finally were able to at least somehow talk. - "How late am I?"

The man looked at his broken watch with a furrow, giving you a rather serious look after that. - "You're way past I don't give a damn. I told you I won't pressure you for a while now... But don't take advantage of that, yea?" - He answered, having you scoff playfully at the answer. He was impossible sometimes. Right after that exchange, he turned his face at you, having an honest smile there. - "We'll be droppin' our backpacks on the cabin, I have somethin' to show you. Special plans."

That made you excited. Joel never wanted to show you anything besides where the prize you were going for with your bow was. Maybe something moved in him at the bonfire too? Could that be? Well, it made you grin as you thought about it during the way to his sanctuary.

You've talked throughout the whole journey. You spoke about serious and not-so-serious stuff, laughing sometimes. And just as Joel told you, you both stopped at the cabin to put your stuff there.

To your surprise, his rocking chair was finally finished - naturally, you as the kind would you were, eagerly tried it to tell him if it's good. It sure as hell could be felt that Joel was a carpenter back in the day, as he told you before. To be honest, you never sat in anything more comfortable. With a hum, you closed your eyes, rocking yourself.

"This is enough for me, Texas. You can go do your stuff, you'll find me here once you're done, yeah?" - You waved your palm at him when you heard his steps stopping in front of you. Gently, you opened your eyes just to see Joel leaning towards into the terrace's railing, one of his thumbs was under his belt as usual, and he had a boyish grin on his face.

"You wish, youngblood. Get up your lazy ass and come, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity you don't wanna miss." - Joel scoffed, locking the door to the cabin, motioning his head in the direction of the woods. With a dramatic sigh, you got up and followed him.

"What is it? Did you find gold?" - You tried your guess, having the man shook his head. - "Oh, I know. The fountain of eternal youth. No? Hmm... I see! You've found some super-lab, am I right? No? Then what is it?" - There was a hundred other guesses you had inside your head, the boldest one including taking at least one article of clothing off.

"Patience," - "Is a virtue. I know, I know. I'm just fucking curious." - A giggle left your lips. It could be felt that you feel safe and contained, which was healing your soul, to be honest.

To your surprise, you stopped at an empty meadow inside the woods, about half an hour away from the cabin. Joel dragged you behind the tall grass, creating a small window for both of you to watch something. What did he mean by that? What were you supposed to see?

For the first hour, you've been excitedly watching your surroundings, but as you got bored, you started to chit chat with the man more and more - after an hour and a half of just sitting there, you sighed and laid down, looking at the darkening sky.

"Ugh, how long you plan on just sitting here?" - You mumbled tiredly, already feeling the air getting cold. You should've at least taken the sweatshirt from your bag - or he could tell you to take it.

"Have some patience and faith, will you? It can be gone already, but I don't think so since I checked on it yesterday." - Joel sighed, mumbling back to you. Your eyes rolled on their own - yet just as you wanted to mock Joel, a hind came out of the woods, looking around. Swiftly, you got yourself on your heels, trying to see the animal better.

It took you a moment to see what was the animal searching for. Just when it lowered its head to the smaller animal hidden in the bushes, your palm caught Joel's as you leaned in to see the scenery better. You didn't even realize you've done that. The man wasn't watching the hind and its cub, he first took in the sight of your nails gently sinking deeper into his skin as your lips opened in pure wonder.

It was such an innocent gesture made in the wave of spontaneous curiosity and wonder you've felt, but even that told Joel just enough. For example, you were trying to share this moment with him. You trusted him enough to catch his hand. It made the man relax a bit when he leaned with a smile to your shoulder.

You both had to stay as quiet as possible so you wouldn't scare the animal away. - "It's a small whitetail dear. I always thought they're only in Alabama, but I bumped into the hind a few days back. Seems like we made it on time." - Joel explained, having you turning your face at him. It shocked you a bit since you almost bumped your nose to his with how close he was. You've been staring at him for a moment, thinking about how good it feels. Yes, you thought about leaning in for the damn kiss, but you decided against it in the end.

The moment was already special as it was. With a startled look, you realized that you're holding his hand in yours. It was warm, a bit rough, but dry. Only your fingers were wet from the sweat. With a sorry look, you held it a bit tighter before letting it go. Yet he still was as close to you as before, just in case you'd like to tell him something.

The night was turning into night and even though it was getting colder and colder, you still sat there, watching the small deer trying to walk for the very first time. After a while, stars and the moon could be seen shining on the meadow below. Joel would tell you that you should go already, yet he couldn't bring himself to ruin such a moment for you. It could be felt you're believing in the small animal - whenever it fell, you bit your lower lip and furrowed, and when it looks like it's about to finally walk, you leaned in with childish excitement.

"I've never thought I'll see something like that." - A whisper came out of you when you were picking up the stuff from the cabin. - "It was one of the best moments of my life. Thank you." - You smiled, walking the known way to Jackson. Joel caught up after a while, having a smile on his lips as well.

"What you be doin' today?" - Joel asked when you saw the Jackson gates in the distance. You were so freaking late. But it seemed that Tommy was informed about your late arrival, so the patrol waved at you, as usual, letting you in. At the moment, your eyes widened.

"Jesus, I promised Ellie to hang out later today. I didn't know this will take too long. Wouldn't you mind..?" - You mumbled frantically, having a sad expression on your face. Joel already showed you he ain't the worst companion to walk you home and you were hoping that he'll walk you even that day, but this was changing the whole thing. What you've been even sorry for?

"Course not, youngblood. I was just curious, that's all. Tell her... I say hi. Would you do that for me?" - The man asked nervously when you walked backward away from him. At his request, you nodded, having a small smile on your lips before you went to pick your food up and to Ellie's place.

The first knock was ignored by her completely. You sighed, massaging your eyes. Was she even at home? Or was there some sneaking out planned later that you didn't know about? To see if she was there, you looked in through the window. Her TV was on, which was a good signal. So, you knocked again.

"Come on. Don't be pissed - I didn't know it will take this long today." - You told her through the door, leaning your forehead into the wood. Not a sound could be heard from the inside. Great. She was pissed. What on Earth were you supposed to do with a pissed girl?

Carefully, you opened up the door, kinda waiting for Ellie to be waiting for you with a pan in her hands, demanding answers. But when the house was silent and you closed the door again, you saw her snuggled up inside her and sleeping.

The following process was quick and practically noiseless - you ate the dinner quicky, brushed your teeth, took care of your hair, and put the pajama on before joining your best friend.

"Who's that?" - The girl mumbled from her sleep, not even bothering to raise her head from the pillow or to open her eyes.

"It's me. I promised you to stop by... But the lesson took way longer than I thought it will, babe." - You answered in a whisper, having the girl smiling sleepily in your direction. - "Don't worry about me. We'll talk in the morning." - A promise was made before you laid down to sleep as well. As usual, it didn't take Ellie too long before she snuggled up to your side.

It wasn't weird for her or you to do that. Ellie was usually seeking some safety in the still of the night - she did so because she often felt like the third week, so she wanted to at least comfort herself when she was sleeping. And you had no problem with it. It was the usual scenario after you fell asleep during the sleepovers. Mostly, you watched movies and since she was the first to doze off, you knew she'll snuggle after a while.

But you had some serious hard time falling asleep. Your brain was projecting you the whole evening, again and again, making you sure that there was something about the man. After some time, just before you fell asleep, you were glad that is was him with whom you could watch such a thing happening.

The next lessons were nice. Sometimes he helped you with the bow, even having competitions with you and winning all of them, other times he brought the guitar. When you were brave enough, you tried to learn something too, but most of the time, you listened to the man playing.

But even though you could be considered a musical anti-talent, you leaned one or two basic songs with Joel as your tutor. Let alone you breaking another string - this time it was on the guitar. You could be impossible sometimes too.

The fall was approaching quickly, maybe a lot quicker than you were realizing. The leaves started to fall and dressed in colorful coats, the air got thicker and colder, the nights were starting earlier - having you wearing boots and sweatshirts to the lessons.

Yet, in Joel's eyes, you were finally skilled enough to hunt. He let you start with the rabbits before getting into the bigger animals, having endless patience with you. Though the method of right and wrong, you learned how to make a small noise as possible, sneaking like a freaking ninja by the half of September.

"Get the elbow higher." - A sharp whisper hit your ears, but you didn't move an inch. You had the situation under control, having the rabbit just where you wanted it. Taking in the last breath, you steadied yourself and sent the arrow flying.

And to your surprised, it not only missed the target by at least one foot, but it also made the animal run away. All you could see on Joel's face was that I told you so attitude showing off. - "Will you ever learn to listen? I told you that your elbow was too low."

"I had it. It must be the air clearly, it's getting thicker. And the mist I'm front of my nose ain't helping either." - You mumbled and walked for your arrow. It was still usable, so you put it into your quiver.

"So now she's usin' air as an excuse, 'kay." - The old man chuckled mockingly, having you rolling your eyes. - "It's gettin' late. We'll do best if we head back for now. Come on, kiddo."

"Yes, sir. Where do you want to go next time? I heard there's this good place just an hour from here, we can have a competition who’s the better one." - You asked with a big smile. Something inside told you that what Joel was about to say was a thing you won't be happy about - the man quickly glanced at you, furrowing a bit at your words. For a long time, you walked in silence, both of you thinking about your stuff. Until the cabin appeared in the middle of the small meadow, you were both silent.

"You didn't answer my question." - A silent remark left your lips when you both were taking your backpacks on to walk back home. Joel stood in front of you for a while, his thumb behind his belt once again and he nodded at the statement of yours.

"About that... I don't think you need my help anymore. You're good on your own already, trust me, Jesse won't believe how good you are when you show the boy. Also, the weathers gettin' bad, so the circumstances aren't perfect either." - The man answered you finally, making the small smile disappear from your face. You walked closer to him, not quite grasping what was happening.

The sessions were over? That was what Joel was trying to say? Sure, you stopped coming there because of learning the skill a long time ago - you already figured the bow out. It wasn't exactly perfect, but you weren't to worst at it either. The lessons in the woods became more of a fun time with a friend, where you could get lost in the feeling of calmness. You were walking through the woods, side by side, sometimes being quiet the whole time, sometimes you discovered an interesting spot, sometimes you were just joking around.

And he didn't want that anymore. For a reason, it felt like a punch in your stomach. The blood slowly froze in your veins as you tried to figure the man's thoughts out. A tight feeling built around your chest. Sure, you liked the man, but there was no way in hell you'd act on your attraction to him. Did he finally notice the smirks and naughty looks coming from you pretty frequently? Or could he see behind your jokes? Did he found someone else to spend his afternoons with?

"So, I don't have to come next time is what you're trying to say?" - You spoke out loud finally, standing just a foot away from the man. You could feel the warmth coming out of his body, your ears heard the way he was breathing. It was insane.

"All I'm tryin’ to say is that you don't need me anymore. Sure, we can have some hunt from time to time, I would be glad if we would, but spendin' whole afternoons here? Come on. You sure have more things to do, don't you?" - Joel tried to make the whole situation lighter with a chuckle, looking at your confused face.

For you, it was one of those now or never situations. Nobody would know about this unless Joel would tell them. And you knew this man would take everything you'd try to do to the grave rather than humiliating you in front of everyone. You could just try to kiss him, right? No-one would hear about it. So you nodded at your confused thoughts, having the man watching you with confusion. It didn't feel right to leave the place until you'd do it at least once.

Shakily, you took in a deep breath before your fingers wrapped around his light jacket, pulling him closer than before. You made sure his lips met yours in the half before you closed your eyes and kissed him with pure passion. Joel didn't know what to do at all. He would never expect something so unplanned from a girl he knew for a fairly long time. The man honestly thought he get to know you well throughout the months you spent together, but obviously, this wasn't the case at all.

Would he kiss you back if you'd stay there a little longer? Would he put his hands somewhere on you if you'd wait just for one more second? Was he surprised - and was it a pleasant surprise? Those questions were left unanswered, because just as spontaneously as you started the kiss, you pulled away from Joel, having the man standing there with his eyes widened as he looked at you in a different light than before.

What the fuck had you done? Sure, in theory, this situation sounded nice, but also, in your mind was his direction way different than a surprised staring. You could hear your fastened heartbeat inside your head as you backed off from him, shaking your head with tears on confusion in your eyes. Your fucking cheeks were on fire, both your palms were shaking as you covered your mouth with them.

"Fuck... I mean... Fuck. I'm sorry, Joel." - You whispered before disappearing into the woods. You hadn't enough courage to look him in the eyes anymore - you saw him standing there for a long time after you left. That night, you ran directly to Ellie's house, knowing he won't be looking for your there. In case he would be even searching for you. First, she was working on one of her newest paintings, turning happily upon hearing you - just to see you stand there, looking like a piece of trash, crying heavily.

"Did something happened? Did that old jackass do something to you? I swear to God," - "I... It's... Eve." - You got out, figuring the lie on the spot. Ellie sighed softly, coming closer to hug you tightly. You knew your jacket will be covered in the rest of the paint from her shirt, but you were just glad to have the girl in your arms.

Meeting Joel on the meetings or in the dining room was humiliating. Every time you realized he's in the same room as you are, you felt flustered - all you could do usually was to watch the tips of your boots while biting your lip nervously - like a five-ear-old kid caught stealing. Sometimes, when you weren't looking, the man was watching you when everyone else spent hours talking about the patrol routes.

He wished to know what was the whole damn situation about in the first place. In his mind, the sudden kiss didn't make any sense at all. First, your unreadable reaction, then the kiss, after that you stormed out and now you pretended he doesn't exist? What did he do to deserve such a cold-hearted treatment? As far as Joel could tell, he was the innocent one in all of this.

Ever since the weird moment in front of the cabin, he saw you in a different light than before. Sure, you were still his daughter's best friend, you still were a serious lot younger than he was at the point - but you seemed to be opened about something... Joel didn't know what you were opened about, but there were some options. Yet as soon as you'd try to tell them, no matter how much he'd seem to be interested, he had to turn you down cold-heartedly.

To be honest with himself, he was interested. Ever since the bonfire, there was some kind of a small spark bothering Joel about you. He could feel it coming every time you were near - every time you scooped a bit closer on your hunting sessions, every time you greeted him in the downtown, it was there, not leaving until you left again. But what good would it bring? Starting something, no matter what could ruin many relationships, cause fires, and arguments. That was why it would be better for the man to turn you down rather than trying things out.

One night, he heard a knocking on his door. Joel almost missed it since he was in his small carpentering workshop, working on a new figure while listening to some folk songs. With a sigh, he closed the door and went to open it up. His back was drowned in a cold sweat as soon as he saw you standing behind the door with a helpless expression, hugging yourself. To his surprise, you both remained silent for a second even when he opened up the door, standing just two feet away from you. You nodded inside the house, biting your lips nervously.

"Will you let me in? We have a few things to talk about and... I don't want the whole neighborhood to hear." - A whisper left your lips. Joel groaned at defeat, carefully stepping aside to let you walk in. He checked if the only neighbor who he had hadn't seen you coming in before closing the door again. There were things to talk about indeed, yet Joel was hoping that as soon as the situation will be cleared up, you'll leave just as you came in a few seconds ago.

#the last of us #the last of us part two #the last of us imagine #the last of us part 2 #joel miller #joel miller the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #ellie williams #ellie williams the last of us #ellie the last of us #jesse the last of us #maria miller #maria the last of us #tommy miller #tommy miller the last of us

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allyvampirelass29 · 4 years

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Bats in the Lake House

Bats in the Lake House A NOS4A2 Review By: Allyssa J. Watkins

A silent night A haunting song Seeing Uncle Charlie in your dreams Wayne, what's wrong? Christmas is forbidden For little boys who must stay hidden But a Lake House is not a Batcave Why can't the dark knight play with Charlie Manx Unless Vic McQueen is in the grave? Come boy, the moon winks, beckoning to you Christmasland is your North Star Do me a special favour, Wayne? Tell me where you are........."

The Lake House, while being more flash than bang, although ironically, it ends in one hell of a one, (Aaaaaaaah yeah, I'm still dead!) was a fun, intrigue of an episode, although like one of the homemade McQueen explosives buried a little too deep in the ground, doesn't hit quite as hard. That being said, it has THE most eerily dazzling opener of the entire series!!!! Wayne tosses and turns, hearing the siren's call of the Found Children's song, drawn to the window in a trance, pulls back the curtain and sees....... CHRISTMASLAND!!!! My heart STOPPED. I knew it wasn't real, it had to be a dream, and yet seeing him there, knowing how hard Vic was fighting to keep him from it, was both a thrill and a chill!!! Who KNEW Charlie Manx makes House Calls!? I LOVED this entire scene, it was so suspenseful, the horror on Vic's face as she hears her son humming Silent Night, over and over, following and fretting over her little duckling, all around the house, not realizing that, all the while, Charlie is not only there, hidden behind the veil of a dream, but is coaxing her son, pulling out all the stops, ever the showman, as he sells young Wayne on the joy and wonder of Christmasland!!!

Again, I know I've said this before, but Our Darling Zachary Quinto, truly embodying his Vampire Chauffer counterpart, dons a new facet of his dark, intense beauty, and magnificent malice, each new episode, bringing his holiday fear, and terrifyingly good looks to the dead heat of summer!!! I kept thinking how I need only open the door unto such a dark, dazzling visage, and I'd be like, "YES, DEAR GOD, TAKE ME TO CHRISTMASLAND!!!! I also love the way he is with Wayne, so paternal, and sweet, and patient with him, always doting upon him! It's a joy to watch them on screen together, the little lad and the Big Bad, walking side by side, so innocent. I especially loved how Charlie had the vampire children stand far enough away from the window, so that he couldn't tell they were vampires, so as not to scare him! That was adorable!

Aha the candy cane!!! I had my suspicions, first with Haley, and then last week with Wayne, there was such a smug satisfaction on Charlie's face as he took it, and I knew there had to be more! Can I say, as a writer, myself, I thought that was pure, smashing, genius!!! The key to Charlie's retrieval operations, slipping into the Children's dreams, and convincing them Christmasland is where they belong. How exciting to learn the secret of the magician's disappearing trick!! All of these scenes were phenomenal, and my heart ached with an inexplicable longing the way he said it...... "Tell me where you are, and I'll pick you up straight away......." Happy fuzzy sigh. Yes, I said my own address out loud. Come and get me, Charlie Manx.

The weekend escape to the Lake House was such a fun, promising concept, a chance for Vic, Lou, and Wayne to spend some real family time together, away from the looming reach of Charlie Manx and the pressures paid for by being a Strong Creative, with Aunt Maggie, and a Fed or two in tow. Wayne seeing the ornaments in the trees gave me chills, and it was interesting to think the McQueen clan had a Manx stowed away in their youngest's mind. Chris continues to impress me, giving Vic some MUCH needed advice about loving and leaving, and how trying to do both can cause more damage than cutting ties completely. Maggie is an absolute delight, as ever, and I love, love, LOVED her comment about Vic's father becoming Bear Grylls with his Spooky, Horror Cabin!!!! That was hilarious, and I'm still laughing as I write this!!!

I also loved what she said about, "None of those dudes are normal." That was a really beautiful moment for me, and I suspect an especially poignant one for Vic. She's always seen herself an an outsider, even in her own created family, but here she finally sees that she's not alone. That normal isn't so normal for them either, and she doesn't have to carry the consequences of having this peculiar gift all on her own. Also, can I just say, I think this was a subtle, tongue in cheek hint, to Wayne being a Strong Creative, inheriting his mother's gift, and if I'm right, I am so here for it, beyond THRILLED, and crossing my fingers!!! What a perfect twist, for Vic to have a little soldier with a knife, and inscape all his own, in the fight against Charlie Manx.

The warm fuzzies continue with Vic running off the dock, and jumping carefree into the lake, splashing and playing with her boys. I loved this so much, it was profound, getting to see them all together as family, happy, laughing, not a care in the world. It was Vic choosing her family, taking the leap into what it means to be vulnerable to the pains of loving Lou without doubt, and being a mother Wayne could respect, and love, and feel safe with. It was the last golden rays of sun before the night set in...... and oh what a night it will be......

The Lake House flawlessly sets up the suspense, puts all the players in place, loads up the Wraith as it were, with the intruding menace, and potential to be the BEST episode yet. But I felt a lull, I don't know, like we were forced to wait around. I was ready, and dying for it all to get started, for Charlie to swoop in the dead of night and attack. I felt like I was prepared for a fight that never came. Yes, I realize it was all to set up for the next episode, and I am enamoured with the screaming danger that awaits, but I don't know, I hungered for a little taste of it now, as I felt all that built up suspense, and pent-up foreshadowing fizzle out.

Okay, deep breath, when I said the episode ended with a bang, I was NOT kidding....... Tabitha, throwing caution and FBI protocol to the wind, invades the newest iteration of the House of Sleep, without back up, but it's okay because she brought a mask. Yes, that was clever, the mask safety and all, but I just felt like she should have been so much smarter than that!!! Last time I checked, going off half cocked, and riding headlong into mortal danger was Vic's thing!!! I loved that Bing had a special shrine inside the church to Charlie, wreathed in Christmas lights, with his Wanted Poster, I thought that was cute, and such a sneaky little detail. I would have loved to have seen Charlie's reaction to that, I can just see his initially disturbed expression, before arching his dark eyebrow, amused!!

Damn, I thought the fight between Bing and Craig was as intense as it got, but Bing VS Tabitha, was easily just as pulse pounding, and blood curdling. I'm not going to lie...... I thought Tabitha was dead, the moment she went down into that church basement. I heaved a sad little sigh when Maggie said, "We all know what happens to cops who cross with Charlie Manx....." We love you Joe, and we miss you!!! I thought that was a both a bittersweet tribute to Joe, and also a foreboding as to Tabitha's own fate. Tabitha after a fight to the near death, scratching, and clawing for her life, subdues Bing, when a tall, dark, handsome stranger steps from the shadows, and Tabitha comes face to face with her own demons, and the man she swore couldn't possibly exist. "Trespassing is a federal offence," He says silkily, before slamming a hammer into her shoulder without hesitation .

My heart almost can't take what happens next, watching Tabitha and Charlie scrapple with an even deadlier ferocity, in the midst of Charlie's seething taunts about what a waste it was to kill her here, and I wondered, if he'd known who she was, that she was Maggie's own girlfriend, would he have taken her prisoner, instead of trying to kill her? Make some kind of exchange for Wayne? The click of a gun cocked, not even a breath in-between, as the bullet is sent screaming, burrowing through the dead center of Charlie's forehead. At three in the morning, I have to clamp both hands over my mouth, not to let out a piercing scream of my own!!!! Charlie falls, lifeless, donning every appearance of death, as the tears stream down my eyes, and Tabitha makes a miraculous escape.

Yes, I know, Charlie's immortal, I know the only way to kill him, is outside the church right now, safe, but watching him fall like that, the blood pooling on his forehead, was a fleeting moment of pure, abject horror, and I felt helpless, wanting only to hold and cry over him!!! Death itself has no hold on Charles Manx, however, and after only a taste of it, he rises from his fallen place, as reanimated as ever, a bloom in his cheek, reaching for the back of his head. In a move that is pure, and utter SYLAR, he pulls out the protruding bullet, long nails dripping with blood, and lets out a sinister laugh, that is both beautiful and threatening, his smirk morphing into smouldering, slanted brow, murder. Careful, Kids...... Charlie Manx is coming to town.

The Lake House is full of all of these flashes of meaningful little moments. I loved the conversation between Lou and Vic about how they found each other, and came together as more than friends. If we had met randomly, under different circumstances, neither of us in mortal danger, would we still be together? Would it still be me? I really appreciated this as a viewer, because they finally said what everybody else was thinking....... Before the third episode, I thought of Lou as Vic's life raft, a comfort she had clung to, frozen, in the midst of unimaginable trauma. The question lingers unanswered. Vic and Lou came together during harrowing life and death turmoil, they found each other just when they needed to the most, in the aftermath of a ghastly tragedy, but can their love survive without it? When the storm is over, and there is just life, without the threat of death, and continued kidnappings, when there is no one left to save....... Will Vic and Lou still feel the same?

Another one of these little moments comes at bedtime between mother and son. Wayne is such a smart, confident little guy, and he's handled his attempted kidnapping with such calm, quiet strength, that I think Vic thinks he's more resilient, and doing better than he really is. After all, he's still only eight years old. For him to finally take off his brave face cowl, and say, Mom, you're hurting me, this is why I'm sad, what I worry about, what I want, was such a powerful moment, and a much needed wake-up call for Vic.

Ultimately, I give the Lake House due credit for creating such breathtaking suspense, and leaving us wanting more. I hope next week we can delve right into the explosive action, and Manx's revenge, the full out attack on the lake house at last!!! No more teasing, NOS4A2!!! After all, It's not a family vacation without Wayne's favourite Uncle Charlie.......The stage is set, The Batcave is empty, and The Wraith Cometh.

#nos4a2 review #nos4a2 #charlie manx #vic mcqueen #wayne mcqueen #lou carmody #maggie leigh #the lake house

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blodreina-noumou · 5 years

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Throwback Thursday - Season 2 - Tag Game

Tagged by the wonderful @boomheda @osleyakomwonkru and @johnmurphysreddit Thanks as always, my friends.

Favourite look:

Lexa’s commander gear, specifically the moment where she and Clarke first meet, and she’s toying around with that little knife.

Iconic, cool, just a lil bit extra. And so very like Lexa, to keep a weapon directly on hand while first meeting an adversary, yet remain cool as a cucumber during the conversation itself.

Favourite episode:

2x08 - “Spacewalker”

In this moment, from this very line, you know Finn is gonna die. The rest of the episode is an excellent, slowly building tension, culminating with Clarke mercy-killing her first love, in front of their enemies, Finn’s people, and Finn’s only surviving family.

I’d been hot and cold on this show since 1x05, waiting for it to make full use of its premise in a compelling way. This episode, and the scene where Clarke kills Finn, is still the peak. It’s what finally let this show sink its claws into me, and somehow, years later, I’m still watching. Genuinely shocking, gut-wrenchingly emotional, and full of the interpersonal character moments that make such epic and difficult scenes worth it. From Finn and Raven’s last goodbye, to Clarke impaling herself on Indra’s pike to prove her determination, to Raven’s soul-searing shriek of despair when she realizes Finn is dead. It’s tense, emotional, and maybe my favorite episode of television, ever.

Favourite song:

I also love the soundtrack of this series, so I’m 100% with you, Luce. I think “Home” is a great contender (linked here). It’s emotional without being overwrought, epic and soaring without being cheesy. It sets the tone for the rest of the season really well.

I also really love “Couldn’t Stop Caring” playing behind the moments where Abby confronts Clarke about the bombing of Tondc (linked here). The song doesn’t kick in until towards the end of the scene, and I think it’s a well done moment of soundtrack. It’s an interesting juxtaposition, because, at this point, Clarke has really lost touch with a lot of her humanity in her quest to save The 47 from Mt Weather. She’s embraced “love is weakness” - yet the climax of the song states: “I couldn’t stop caring.” The heavy beat, the rising wall of sound, the grim tone and expression on everyone’s faces as they march towards war - it’s effective, chilling, and kind of badass all at the same time.

Favourite scene:

Season two is full of good scenes, honestly. I think one underrated, really well-done moment is Lincoln’s resurrection in 2x07, “Long Into an Abyss”. I was genuinely so scared as Lincoln seized and died, all while Lexa is approaching the dropship. She’s staring around in horror and rage at the burned bodies of the 300 warriors she sent to attack The Hundred.

You can see how ready for vengeance she is - and then, she arrives in the dropship, and it could not be clearer to her that Skaikru lied, that they couldn’t cure reapers, that Lincoln is dead. Octavia’s wailing, undercut by the tense, scared glances Skaikru share with one another, realizing they’re doomed -

- and then, Clarke saves the day, telling Abby to use a shocklash as a makeshift defibrillator. Miraculously, it works. In the most dramatic, tense way possible, Skaikru proves their value to Lexa and to the grounders at large, and for a moment, it seems like things will be simple.

Least favourite scene:

Probably Ghost Finn, tbh. Wtf was that?? Clarke banished her delusions with the power of “love is weakness”! That’s so dumb!! Grief will do crazy things to a person, but damn!

Most interesting character on first watch: This is Clarke’s best season, hands down. She struggles so hard, but finds herself getting the short end of the stick, again and again. It turns her ruthless.

Her desperation and slow descent into genocide is very compelling to watch. She goes through so much, and it’s only her single-minded determination to free her friends that keeps her going. She loses almost everything, is betrayed time and again, comes up against countless obstacles. At the end of it all, she finds herself with the blood of a civilization on her hands, and at a complete loss for who she is. That’s a compelling story.

Most interesting character on rewatch:

Octavia Blake. It’s a sleeper season for her, but her transformation from plucky, mouthy scrapper into full-blown warrior is incredible.

It has its downs. I don’t love the way she treats Lincoln upon his return from reaperdom, but overall, it’s a really exciting storyline, with a satisfying payoff. Seeing Octavia march among the rest of the grounders, finally content in her place, secure in her role, is so satisfying.

Favourite arc/storyline:

This season is still my favorite, so it’s hard to choose.

The beginnings of Clexa are the best part of Clexa - their uncertain yet undeniable connection carries the season through its lowest moments.

Pike’s journey into the desert, Murphy tagging along because he “has nothing better to do.” That thread eventually leading to the insanity that is the CoL storyline - but the Prophet’s Quest through the Dead Zone is a really fun diversion from the rest of the season, which is particularly heavy.

Raven and Wick, genius-rivals-turned-lovers, providing a lot of very necessary comic relief. Raven’s struggle to adapt to life, now that her leg doesn’t work.

The struggle of The Delinquents inside Mt Weather, especially Jasper’s. He’s really the main character of that location, and it’s his best season. Watching him fall for Maya, feeling the dramatic tension of him trying to grab ahold of his own story, like the main protagonist he wants to be, only to have the actual main protagonists intervene out of nowhere, and ruin his life. It’s tragic. But getting there is actually a lot of fun, with juvenile delinquent shenanigans and scrappy underdog vibes.

Getting to know the Grounders on a cultural level, seeing what makes them tick, learning a bit more about how humanity survived in the 97 years since the bombs.

Favourite dynamic:

Clarke and Lexa; Octavia and Lincoln; Jasper and Monty; Jaha and Murphy; Raven and Wick; Bellamy and Octavia...

It’s a good season for most of the character dynamics, tbh.

Favourite New character introduced this season:

It’s a toss-up between two of the best grounder women to ever exist -

Favourite quote:

“Thanks, princess” is definitely up there. Heartbreaking, succinct, too perfect.

“We’ve all got a monster inside of us, and we’re all responsible for what it does when we let it out.” Lincoln was too good for this show.

“Yu gonplei ste udon” - I gotta include some Trigedasleng, as this was the season where it’s introduced.

Tagging: @lovelyrosaye @blodkru @captainwilldameron @dylanobrienisbatman @nightbleeder @bellarke-addict @spacegamora @imacreepygirl and anyone else who sees this and wants to throw it back!

#throwback thursday #the 100 #tag games #stephspeaks

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shyvioletcat · 5 years

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Kingdom of Ash Tour Sydney

Oh my gosh, I’m sorry this took so long. My notes were much more extensive than I thought and then just a lot of poor time management. Anyway, here it is.

A few choice bits of information/quotes:

“Being a dork pays off you guys. Who knew?”

Says Melbourne like a local

Loves our coffee. Says she’s moving here because of it.

Advice to aspiring writers: find someone to share your work with. Giving and getting feedback teaches you so much. Gives you a form of community.

Got into writing because it’s what she loves and it makes her come alive like nothing else does.

Music plays a Huge part in her creative process

Daily writing schedule. Plays with Taran then about 930/10 she starts. Gets admin stuff done first 9-8 job.

Nothing compares to sitting down and writing a scene she’s wanted to write for years and years. Describes it as time stopping and the closest thing to magic, at least for her.

Had a question about her creative circle for bouncing ideas around and talking about her stories. Sarah didn’t talk to her family about her stories at all when she was younger. Doesn’t like her parents reading her books. She referred back to writing ACOTAR and she asked the audience “do you know what it’s like to write an on the page sex scene knowing my father was going to read this?” Said it took her about three glasses of wine to deal with it.

About her dad reading said scenes: He said “I just skip those scenes.” Sarah’s reply “I’ll do you one better. I’ll just rip those pages out.” Then she talked how it was much worse when ACOMAF came out the next year.

Josh has become her creative sounding board over the last few years. He reads the early drafts of Crescent City and lets Sarah ramble to him for hours. She thinks it’s really cute they get to do that.

He thinks he’s every love interest in all her books. At events people ask if he’s what Rhys was modelled from. Josh will say yes. Sarah was very adamantly said it was a no.

Fellow writers help her from looking like a complete idiot. In particular Lynette Noni. Calls her a secret Disney Princess. Has become her can’t live without critique partner.

She said don’t listen to the people who say writing is a dumb dream. But said it’s a long long road to getting published but not impossible. “Don’t ever listen to the haters man.”

Her parents were always incredibly supportive. Her mum would leave snacks outside her door so she wouldn’t disturb her while she wrote

When her parents told her that she needed a job to support herself Sarah didn’t want to listen. But she said they were ultimately right because there are no guarantees in publishing. One of her favourite moments is when she became a New York Times best seller and she got to call and tell her parents. The first thing her mum said was she regretted telling Sarah to be realistic about the expectations of yourself. But Sarah was adamant they were right.

She thanked us and got quite emotional. Thanked us for supporting her books, she was walking around Sydney harbour and thought to herself how lucky I am to do this for a living.

Someone from the audience screamed “I love you” she said “I love you too, I love you all so much” (insert my hysterical tears). She couldn’t express how much she appreciates everything we all have done for her and her family, the fact we have allowed her to live out her dreams. “Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this being the loveliest group of people I’ve ever had the honour to meet”. SHE LOVES US.

Crescent city

Doesn’t think her parents can read a single page of crescent city. Joking, it’s every other page. Started as excess creative energy, a real passion project.

Describes it as taking the ToG/ACOTAR worlds and jumping ahead over 3000 years to where they have modern technologies and comforts. Magical creatures living together in complex hierarchies. Feels different because of the modern setting but has familiar aspects, e.g. snarky sassy heroines and brooding sexy muscled men. Says there are so many. So many.

Josh: “why are there so many attractive men in this book?” Sarah “because it’s a fantasy. FAN-TA-SY.”

No real defined plot yet.

Knew it was the story she wanted to tell because of an experience on a plane. Sarah was listening to a piece of music and saw a scene play out and she burst into tears. She didn’t know the characters or how they got there. The scene will be in the first book and is like THE MAJOR BIG SCENE. Kept thinking of that moment of creation and how much it overwhelmed her and that was the deciding factor that that was the next story she needed to tell.

World of Throne of Glass

World of Throne of Glass. Started off as an encyclopaedia. It will be a chronicle that exists in world and Sarah describes it like going into the library of Orynth and pulling it off the shelf. The premise of the book is that Aelin has hired this cranky old scholar to travel around all the kingdoms/continents and includes the travel logs, transcripts from interviews with the characters, insight into how they felt, letters between characters. The book itself is like the the Terrasen courts private copy so it has letters between characters. Glimpses into the future.

BUT THIS MEANS IT WILL COME OUT LATER

ALSO SAID THERE ARE POCKETS OF HISTORY SHE REALLY WANTS TO FILL IN AND THERE’S ALSO LOTS OF STORIES THAT MAYBE ONE DAY SHE MIGHT WANT TO TELL SHE JUST NEEDS TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT. SORRY I’M JUST REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS.

Throne of Glass/ACOTAR

The idea of Throne of Glass came to her when she was 15/16 years old. Gripped her like no other story had. Throne of glass has a special place in her heart because it’s what started her on this journey.

Sarah was changing Kingdom of Ash right up the very last minute.

Mystery questions from the lobby:

What would happen if all your villains met?

The thought of Maeve and Amarantha gave her chills to think about. Would they rip each other to shreds or form and unholy alliance? Undecided.

Did you cry during the writing of the final book? If so which moments?

Number one scene. The Thirteen.

Gave lots of details about when Manon first appeared, a piece of music from the Fright Night remake was playing and she saw the cottage scene play out. She saw Manon disembowel the farmers and how her teeth and claws came out and just thought “I love you”.

Loved witches since she was little because she realised witches were often women with power when women weren’t allowed to have power.

Sarah went to the mat for Manon. She hadn’t sold the rest of the books, only up to Heir of Fire. Writing about Manon gave Sarah her courage and came into her life when she needed her attitude. She said “Over my dead effing body” when editor said to cut Manon.

Sarah listened to a song from the original star wars and that was when she saw the sacrifice of the Thirteen. She needed to have Manon start where she did in Heir of Fire so when we all got to the scene in Kingdom of Ash is would really hit us strongly as it had hit Sarah for the first time. Sarah was sobbing at her desk when she saw them making their final run. She saw then Manon screaming and begging them to to stop because she realised she had a heart and loved them.

Sarah said she needed to lie down afterwards, she considered a happy ending for a moment, but then she thought about how the ladies never get to make the big heroic sacrifice and she really wanted the Thirteen to make the badass sacrifice and she wanted to make that moment when their exploding with light and not darkness absolutely destroyed Sarah.

Happier scene is the last goodbye between the main three, sobbing so hard. Really ugly crying not Frodo crying nicely at the end of The Return of the King, but bodily fluids spraying everywhere. So many tears.

Sarah would also get super amped up. Example: When Elide saves Lorcan she got so amped up she literally straddled her chair like she was riding a horse. (She re-enacted it on stage too). Then it was just more ladies were doing their badass thing like:

as Aelin flies down on the bird and explodes and destroys the wave and then Rowan is like that steam is going to boil every one like lobsters, got to get rid of that.

When Aelin makes her run and Lorcan sees her and he’s crying, you know if Lorcan’s crying some intense shit is going down

Then when Aelin is trying to get the mask off. That hit Sarah hit her so hard, didn’t expect it. Felt physically ill writing it. It was one of the few times Aelin was unhinged and in a panic. Seeing Aelin in a panic out Sarah in a panic.

Aelin has been like a person to Sarah and has carried Sarah through a lot of hard stuff. Sarah has said to herself “my name is Sarah J Maas and I will not be afraid”

Would say “What would Aelin do?” to give herself that swagger. Any time Aelin is in pain Sarah was in pain and would be like “My baby my baby! Let me help you”.

Such a joy to write. Aelin was telling her and showing Sarah where to go.

ABOUT THE ENDING OF KINGDOM OF ASH: Travelling in Costa Rico to a rainforest exists at cloud level. (Side note from Sarah: Vote for the environment! Do it for the golden toad). One of the most beautiful places she has ever been. Sitting in the backseat listening to music from John Carter of Mars. Sun broke through the clouds and lit up the mountains and Sarah heard the last line of Kingdom of Ash about the kingsflame blooming and she knew what the last line was and that’s what she wanted to get to. She starting crying (surprise surprise) didn’t want to tell her travelling companions so she lied and said she was crying because the view was so beautiful. Writing with Aelin at the helm guaranteed her nothing. Aelin did it though, she stuck to Sarah’s plans and Sarah got the ending she wanted.

Call out from the audience about Gavriel. Uproar from the audience. “Why did you do that!?” “Why would I do that? Because I’m a horrible person.” Any time a hot guy full of muscles dies it’s a sad day. Poor Aedion. “It would have been so hot! Not in a weird way! The two of them hanging out, the lion and the wolf and oh my heart... you mean I have no heart, that’s what you’re thinking.” Evil cackle.

Who of all your characters do you see sitting in a rocking chair and knitting and telling their grandchildren the wildest stories in their old age?

Throne of Glass. Dorian. Don’t know why.

ACOTAR world would 1000% be Cassian. Nessian book will come out after Crescent City. She started it just for fun, hadn’t planned to write last ACOWAR. Sarah was out to lunch with her editor and got a little drunk and pitched her other books, but then forgot. Agent called a few weeks later telling her the editor wants to buy these books.

She literally doesn’t have the time to get all the stories she wants out of her. Wishes she had Hermione’s time turner.

So that’s it. Again, sorry it took me so long. Sarah was so lovely and I still can’t believe I got to see her in person. There’s a lot I took away from her talk for myself, mainly just how adamant she was about being yourself is the way to go. We’re better off when we’re true to ourselves and love the tings we love without feeling bad for it.

#kingdom of ash tour #kingdom of ash tour sydney

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totallyfrandom · 5 years

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I've recently watched the 2019 "The Lion King" movie online, and I'm glad I didn't pay to see it at the cinemas because it wouldn't be worth the ticket price. It was lame. (record-lengthy rant below; not really spoilers as it's basically the 1994 animated movie again with a few minor changes)

”The Lion King” from 1994 is one of my most favorite Disney animated classics from my childhood and I was interested at first when the remake was announced. I was impressed by the gorgeous realistic animation in the first previews and trailer, but the more I looked into the last trailer, the more concerned I was about one thing: the expressions. Their faces lacked emotions. My biggest concern was Timon who's the most expressive comic relief character, and Scar who is this mischievous character with a very wide range of sly expressions on his face showing his scheming. Will the scenes of emotions and comedy suffer from this realism?

So I didn't have great expectations of the movie when I started watching it but other than the impressive CGI, it's really telling if at the end of the movie I go ”Finally it's over!” which is in this case.

My concern was confirmed: the characters lack so much of the expressions and emotions, which was a huge sacrifice for the sake of realism. That was my biggest problem with the movie. Also, unlike ”Beauty and the Beast” remake and ”Maleficent” for example, it felt more like they only made this remake to cash in on people's nostalgia. It didn't fool me, I felt no nostalgia whatsoever. Just disappointment over how lame it felt.

Below are some scenes and character critiques that I particularly want to mention.

First up, Scar. I didn't like his voice. I'm not saying that Ejiofor did a bad job, it just doesn't fit his sly character. And just like the rest of the characters, the realistic animation sacrificed the facial expressions and emotions of Scar which was a huge part of his character. His voice didn't really replace that sacrifice. He didn't feel intimidating at all.

Speaking of intimidating, now we come to the hyenas. The only character who somewhat comes close to intimidating was Shenzi. She felt more of a threat than Scar was. I noticed two changes in this remake: one is the other two hyenas Banzai and Ed got a rename. Now they're called Kamari and Azizi. Ed, or now Azizi, even speaks and doesn't act as stupid and giggly as before. But none of them are any funnier, they've only become duller. None of their attempt of ”comedy” made me laugh, not even crack a smile. This change had no reasoning behind it (none that I know of) and feels pointless. I have no idea why they'd change two old fan favorites like that. But I do have to give some credit for the other change that was a bit more interesting – or it could just be my interpretation or simply a misunderstanding: Scar's alliance with the hyenas. In the original movie, Scar was portrayed as the leader of the hyenas from the start, even over Shenzi, but in this adaptation it seems more like Shenzi is the leader over the hyenas and Scar is the imposter who got them on his side because he promised them to enter the Pride Lands with food for the taking. Shenzi even dared to question Scar as if she challenged him (I would pay to see a cool backstory for remake-Shenzi instead of this movie). Shenzi is also the one who picked adult Nala as her opponent in the final fight for an actual reason. So yeah, Shenzi is good. But she didn’t save the movie, unfortunately.

While the hyenas weren't funny, the only character who are somewhat funny (despite the sad sacrifice of expressions for most comedic scenes) were Timon and Pumbaa. But I still have mixed feelings about them (which I'll mention below in the songs section) so they weren't my favorite characters in this movie, but more like they--along with Shenzi--were the better characters of the entire cast. At least the duo are the only ones that made me chuckle (which was my only close-to-laugh during the entire movie) and that was near the end of the movie. Not impressive when it took that long for me to laugh.

Then we have Rafiki. There are two things I'm bothered about this remake of him: he didn't have his iconic staff like in the original and I thought that maybe they removed the staff for the sake of realism (I would've expected that the staff would be gone anyway) but then near the end of the movie he pulls out his staff from the tree calling it ”old friend”. It feels like the staff was originally removed but then was forced in for the last scenes just as a nod to the fans, as it was a last-minute addition. That was my problem with the staff situation: first it wasn't there but then BAM! Rafiki brings it up calling it ”my old friend” as a last-minute nod to fans who'd hate to see it go, maybe to avoid a riot. It felt a bit tacky, Imo. But what made him into a less sympathetic character is that instead of mourning for the loss of his old friend Mufasa and the prince like in the original, he goes ”tsk-tsk-tsk”. Yeah, when my dad dies I'm gonna sit there during his funeral and go ”tsk-tsk-tsk”. Wtf Disney? I guess this is what they do instead of being able to show any emotions in the realistic animal faces.

I don't know what I can say about the other characters, even about the main protagonist Simba. They were just lame when they lacked the emotions and expressions that was part of the characters so I didn't feel any connection to them. They were just... there. Same name, same personality, but that's all. Even with James Earl Jones returning for voicing Mufasa didn't help (did Disney bring him back just to add to the nostalgic value hmm?), partly because I grew up with the Swedish dub so Mufasa's English voice didn't give the same impact to me as it may give to fans who grew with James Earl Jones as Mufasa.

As for scenes, we'll start with one with Rafiki and it was the most unnecessary and time-wasting scene I had to endure. I mean, I can't believe we have to watch an almost 3-minute long journey of a tuft from Simba's mane. It's the scene where Rafiki learns that Simba is still alive: Simba shakes his head, resulting in a small tuft of his mane gets loose and floats in the wind. But instead of a smooth transition and then within 15 seconds reach Rafiki like in the original, we see it be in various places and picked up by various animals that contributes to its progress, even being eaten by a giraffe before the scene fades to black... which is pointless when it just continues the journey but now we see the tuft in a ball of giraffe dung being rulled by a beetle. Eventually, which felt like ten long minutes, the tuft reaches Rafiki's tree with the help of an ant. It's almost like this prolonged scene is just there to fill more minutes of the movie. Also, that tuft of Simba's mane has been inside a giraffe and then pooped out, presumably smelling, and Rafiki was holding it so... ew.

Due to the realism in the animal faces which limits their expressions, there are a lot of emotional scenes that I used to love that lacks that emotion. No scene made me shed tears or fill me with a heavy heart, no scene made me feel that hope and warms my heart. A couple of examples:

The scene where Simba finds Mufasa’s body didn't give me any emotions, which is a disappointment as this is one of the saddest scenes in animation history. But I admit that JD McCrary who voices young Simba did a good job in delivering the sad voice and sounded legit like he was close to tears. That was the closest to real emotions in the film. Too bad the facial expression of the CGI lion cub didn't give what McCreary's performance deserves.

Another scene I find a lot of disappointed in was my favorite from the original movie; when adult Simba was talking to his father in the clouds. It always used to touch my heart because of how amazing it was with the music and the visualization in the sky and the emotions of awe in Simba' face. But this one was such a lackluster. It didn't move me in any way and I could barely see Mufasa (I guess his face appeared just with a blink of an eye a few times when lightning struck in the clouds but that was way too quick). They didn't even play one of my favorite instrumental music when Simba was running back to the Pride Lands. Sure, it's fine that they have at least one new song that wasn't in the original soundtrack before, but they did sacrifice such a motivational piece of music for it.

But the worst scene in the entire movie (if we don't count the songs) is when Scar betrays Mufasa and pushes him off the cliff. Instead of Mufasa saying "Scar! My brother! Help me!" with a pleading tone in his voice (this was a literal life and death situation), he just says "Scar! Help me!" as if it was an order. Then instead of whispering to his brother, Scar almost yells out "Long live the king!" before he literally bitch-slaps Mufasa so that he looses his grip. Why not shove him off like in the original movie when Scar was already digging his claws into Mufasa's paws like in the original movie? Also there was no zoom-in on the eyes of Mufasa when he realized the betrayal just before his death... but then again, those eyes would've been lifeless from expressions.

By the way, Scar is stupid when he's talking loudly about secrets, like before the final fight scene he gave away that he was responsible to Mufasa's death which convinced Sarabi of Simba's innocence despite Scar desperately tried to lie his way through. You really messed this up, Scar.

As for the songs in general, they were just... there. Only the opening song ”Circle of Life” is good enough for me. The rest both feel and sounded duller.

I was so disappointed in "I Just Can't Wait to be King". Due to the realism, there's no colorful background that complements the song and it feels bland (”Can You Feel the Love Tonight” and ”Hakuna Matata” suffers the similar thing). Even the song itself doesn't give any nostalgia to me. It looks kinda off to see realistic Simba sing, it's like an uncanny valley vibe. Again he lacks any expression, same with Zazu. When Timon sings ”Hakuna Matata” and ”The Lion Sleeps Tonight” with a wide-open mouth, it looks... odd. I don't see Timon singing, instead I see an animal screaming. For food or for help, either way works, but not singing.

However, the worst song in the entire movie was "Be Prepared" for so many reasons. One, I’ve already mentioned above that I think Scar's voice doesn't fit his character so his singing clearly can't top the original song (which is why I think it had to be changed a bit which I'll mention soon). Two, it doesn't have the dark and dramatic shadowing. Three, Scar's mischievous expressions are gone for the sake of realism so Scar just looks flat and awkward. Four, the song was changed and is now shorter so I was just sitting here getting confused of where it was going and thinking when the powerful chorus and the xylophone(?) instruments are gonna start and then you hear that final "Be Prepaaaaared!" from Scar before it zooms out without the echoing laughter of Scar and the hyenas, instead the last "Prepared" echoes before the scene fades to another scene. It just ends like that just as quick as the song started. Like, the heck was that? I get that they had to get rid of the army of hyenas marching, but this was just lame and lazy. This brings to the fifth reason: they just ruined one of the greatest Disney villain songs ever made. After watching the movie I've read that there was a rumor or concern that ”Be Prepared” wouldn't be in the movie. I'm kinda wishing it didn't make into the remake when they didn't even try making it look or sound great. Definitely not memorable.

...

This is just a half of everything I wanted to say about the movie, but I think I'll stop here after having said the more important bits that I wanted to rant about.

All in all, under all that gorgeous realistic CGI animation lies a lazy attempt at the remake with most scenes being shot-to-shot copies from the original, half-assed attempt at most songs when it comes to the visuals (or barely an attempt in ”Be Prepared”), lifeless expressions of the realistic animals and ruining the emotions of powerful and most memorable scenes just to cash in on people's nostalgia. Only Shenzi was the character who had some potential for something new and interesting but like I said, she didn’t save the movie for me.

At least they TRIED a lot more with ”Beauty and the Beast” remake and ”Maleficent” where they actually did good new changes that contributed more to the story. With ”The Lion King” remake they just upgraded it to look good but had to sacrifice the most important thing which is the expressions of colors and reactions in characters' faces. Even Beast's facial expressions had more emotions through all that makeup.

As for recommendation, if it wasn’t obvious enough I personally wouldn't recommend it. It's better to go back watching the 1994 animated classic instead of wasting time and money on it. Unless you’re a true nostalgic, then go ahead and enjoy it. I’m not judging anyone who likes or loves it. It was just personally a disappointment for me when it didn’t live up for my childhood favorite classic.

One final thing: you feel like reading my lengthy rant wasted your valuable time? That’s what it felt when I was watching the movie and finally came to the end, hence the “Finally it’s over!”.

#big kudos if you've read all the way to the end!#(honestly I don't think anyone has the time or patience; this is more like a script guide for a YouTube review <_<; )#(I just don't do YouTube reviews)#Char watches movies #personal

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sambart93 · 5 years

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2019.01.06 Johnny’s West ‘WESTV’ in Yokohama Arena [Report]

So I managed to go to their YokoAri concert 2 years in a row now! Last year’s con report can be found here. And now onto my report!!

SET LIST

スタートダッシュ

ええじゃないか

パーリパーリパリ-カタカナを叫べ-

アカツキ

Drift!!

WESTV VTR Corner

Skit Corner (Horoscopes)

赤いマフラー

粉もん

月詠人

僕らの軌跡〜ジャニーズWEST列島縦断〜

Melody Mix of ズンドコパラダイス, プリンシパルの君へ and Ya!Hot!Hot!

バンバンッ！

ホメチギリスト

〜MC〜

まちがっちゃいない

ONI-CHAN

100% I Love You

愛の奴隷

アカンLOVE〜純情愛やで〜

Another VTR

YSSB

傷だらけの愛

We are WEST

青空願ってまた明日

アンコール

OH!LALA

人生はすばらしい

ラキセブン

Wアンコール

パリピポアンセム

*I assume fans will recognise and know these songs so I saw no need to Romaji-fy them. You can just copy and paste and find them online to listen to anyway xD

PreShow

Me and my friend had a feeling that we would have arena seats, which we didn’t want, we wanted stands so we could high five them like we did last year, BUT as we predicted, we did end up with arena seats: 4th row from the stage and to the right side which meant we got the stages AND the right-side hanamichi too!! We meant we were less than 2 meters (less than 6 feet) away from the boys at multiple points throughout the entire concert. That means, I was closer to them than Nonchan is from his head to the floor xD We were so close that some of the boys gave us a decent amount of attention. It’s weird how confident we both were. Out of 15,000+ seats we were sure we’d gotten a seat in arena. Insane. I swear I’m 50% psychic with the shit I can predict xD

During the last 15 - 20 minutes or so, whatever instrumental West song that was playing, a lot of the crowd started singing the song. The main three were Ee Janai Ka, Horumon, and one more that unfortunately I cannot think of right now. When we were singing along to Ee Janai Ka, we got to the iconic ‘Mou Ikkai!’ line and the ENTIRE audience yelled it out. Everyone then burst into laughter at the massive volume difference at that point xD

Also there was a giant TV on the main stage that was inflatable. And just before the show started, I said to my friend ‘I bet that TV collapses down and the boys come out of it.’

♡ (1) START DASH : I was right! There was backlighting that showed the boys shadows inside the tv and then the tv deflated and split apart and voilà the boys appeared! I really love their opening outfits so much! ♡(2) Ee Janai Ka : They were front/center stage for this song. My favourite part is of course the moment where all the audience (once again) yells ‘Mou Ikkai (One More Time)!’.

Just before Akatsuki (so the boys had time to change) we got member introductions and of course I only remember Hamada, Junta and Akito’s xD Hamada’s was something along the lines of ‘even though I’m already 30, I’m still getting acne! So please ignore my face today! And my leg hurts! Being 30 sucks...’. Akito’s was obviously playing with the crowd, he got us doing a mexican wave ‘wooo’ starting from my section and he went around with his finger pointing around the stadium and so different areas were woo-ing xD Junta’s was: Junta: Jasmin! Nakama Junta! Is everyone okay? Good! ... Those who are single, are you okay? Audience: (big) YES!!!! Junta: Those who are wives, are you okay? Audience (small response) Yes! Junta: Okusaaaaaaan!!! (means ‘wife’ in Japanese. But Junta has an ‘Okusan’ segment on one of his TV shows so that’s this reference).

♡(4)Akatsuki : There was a very short VTR here of the red moon so they could change into sparkly, glittery red pants and jacket for this song. ♡(6) WESTV VTR Corner : I don’t know how I’m going to explain this but this VTR is where most of their Higawari/Daily Changes are. There are about 4 different clips: TV Shopping, A Newscaster, A Panda Segment, Eating Soumen (Cold Noodles). And each show it’s a different member doing something different. So at the show I was at: TV Shopping Item Showcaser: Ryuusei - he got an item and had to guess what the item was used for. Obviously he got it wrong xD Newscaster: KamiChan - who introduced and then watched the panda segment and was just laughing the entire time. Panda Announcer: Junta, Panda Wrangler: Ryuusei(?), Panda: Shige Eating Soumen: Junta - but he sucked it in too fast and had to spit it all out in one go. Everyone died laughing.

♡(7) Skit Corner (Horoscopes) : Every one of them was dressed up as a different horoscopes ---- I realise DAYS later that it corresponds to most of their actual birthday horoscopes! Silly me!

Gemini: Shige and Akito dressed as Female Twins (Blue Dress for Akito and Pink Dress for Shige) Cancer: KamiChan as a Crab Sagittarius: HamaChan as a Horse (which is very fitting for him xD) Libra: Junta in Greek-like clothing, holding two trays Leo: Ryuusei as a Lion with a Lion hat on. Leo: Nonchan as a Chinese Lion (Chinese Dragon)

They came on stage in order of: Junta, Kami, Ryuusei, Hamada, NonChan, Shige&Akito pair (from what I remember). And Ryuusei’s introduction was very funny because Junta kept calling him the Japanese for ‘Leo’ and Ryuusei was like ‘no no no no no. I’m not a Leo! I’m a.... *deep whisper* LION’ and he did this about three time and the crowd went crazy xD The main story of this skit is about the Twins being upset about being called ‘ugly’ online, thanks to KamiChan being able to surf ‘Wester’ (West + Twitter) even though he has claws for hands xD and while everyone agrees that Akito is ugly, Ryuusei actually falls for Shige and confesses his love. But because Shige is used to being called ugly, he thinks Ryuusei is making fun so Shige runs away with Ryuusei running after him. Eventually Shige accepts Ryuusei’s love, BUT before that, Akito is like ‘and which of you remaining gentlemen will take me?’ to which Junta, Kami, Hama and Non talk about it and decide to attempt to murder Akito with Hama’s bow and arrow instead! But the arrow misses, and unfortunately it goes past Akito and continues on it’s journey and finally hits Shiga, and Shige falls down. While Shige is dying, he accepts Ryuusei’s love but Ryuusei is all sad that Shige is dying in his arms. They start singing one of their ballads/love songs slowly (the audience is crying with laughter by this point) and when it ends, Shige wakes up ‘eh? That’s odd... I was suppose to die... but I’m alive!’ and he takes the arrow out of his chest! Happily ever after! The best part of this skit was the boys absolutely losing it themselves. When it got to a serious scene between Ryuusei and Shige, Shige couldn’t keep a straight face and was laughing his lines out and Ryuusei was trying so hard too! But at one point they were hugging each other and were just stood there laughing at the ridiculousness of it all xD

♡(8) Akai Muffler : There is an animated story going on in the background during this song and at the end the credits say ‘Drawn by: Akito’. It is a beautiful and adorable drawing! HamaChan was on my side during this ballad and it was nice watching/seeing him mime along to the words when it wasn’t his part.

♡(10) Tsukuyomi Bito : Given my background of stages and musicals, I had high expectations for this and I had a vision of what this song should look like and I was not let down. They started behind a screen and were backlit so we could see their shadows. Then we they revealed themselves they were in fighting-style kimonos and had swords. In the mid-instrumental section, they had giant screen come down and they had a sword fight which was backlit and shadowed again, but we also had the side screens of the stadium showing us them behind the screen fighting, which was great! And to finish the song, both of them did a backflip off the stage which was NICE!

♡(13) Melody Mix : I was quite sad that we got this mix. It felt very jumpy and very rushed. The concert itself was short to begin with (barely 2 hours) so why not just do all the songs fully? ♡(15) Homechigi List : This is their new song and they wore their new outfits for this song too! It was very easy to figure out when the audience’s yelling parts were so we quickly got into the song and yelled our parts xD It’s a really funny song, a super cute dance, the outfits are great! I am excited for this single release at the end of January!

♡(16) 〜MC〜 : Where do I start with this one... I’ll try and remember and list as much as I can about it.

- Shige personally attacked Ryuusei today. Saying: ‘I’m really bad at remembering dances, I always stop too soon to... But recently, Ryuusei is also bad at remembering the dances!!’ and he turned to KamiChan ‘Kamiyama san! He’s bad too right?!’ and KamiChan replied ‘Ryuusei is a little bad recently yeah...’ and Shige was like ‘YAY!!!’ xD

- They also asked KamiChan how he comes up with the different dances and he replied ‘A little me inside my head is dancing’, to which they replied ‘EVEN MORE small(er than you are now -- because he’s the chibi of the group)?!’ and KamiChan was like ‘there was no need for you to comment on my height!’

- Akito also brought up KamiChan’s performance in Othello and he brought up (what I think is) everyone’s favourite part ‘KamiChan looked so cool the entire play! But when you were playing with the giant ball you looked especially cool!!’ which is so many favourite people’s part of the play.

- There was a small thing I noticed when Junta was talking and had his whole forearm showing; it looked like he had a giant scratch mark running down the entirety of his forearm. He wasn’t bothered by it and he never messed with it but it looked like maybe he’d scratch it the recently. But I hope I was imagining things, and if not, I hope he’s okay!

- The final thing I remember was when they talked about what they did for Bounen Kai (End of Year Party). They all went to Yakiniku and they talked about the amount of rice Akito was able to eat. Apparently he ate: Big Bowl -> -> Medium -> Rice in Soup -> Medium Bowl. ALL OF RICE! Akito said ‘after finishing the rice with soup, I didn’t think I could eat anymore but HamaChan said ‘You can still keep going’ so he ordered me a medium bowl of rice. I didn’t think I could eat anymore! .. I ate it all.’ The entire audience was just flabbergasted at how much he can eat! I can barely eat ONE SMALL bowl of rice myself! xD

♡(17) Machigacchainai : Before they performed this song, Shige explained how this song came about: “Last year, I was having a bit of a tough time. Nothing was going right. But HamaChan came to me and told me it was going to be okay. So then I came up with this song. If you’re having a tough time, if you’re every having a bad time, I hope you can remember this song and think it’s going to be okay, because it will.”. We had Shige on keyboard, HamaChan on acoustic guitar and we had KamiChan on percussion. From the second half of the song, Shige’s face was just completely lit up and he couldn’t stop smiling. There was another adorable moment where one of them (either Shige or HamaChan) messed up a little, but Shige immediately responded with a ‘it’s okay’ over the mic so softly and the continued right through, which I think is adorable too!

♡(18) ONI-CHAN : This was so cute! They had mannequins on a bench and they did all the actions from the songs in it. The entire audience was lit either yellow or blue which looks great! OniiChan was really adorable with their cute pink outfits, and when one was singing, the other was dancing and it was a really nice dance -- apparently KamiChan came up with it (no surprise there! He is the KING of dances!). I really enjoyed all the duet/trio song performances this time around!

♡(19) Ai no Dorei : I don’t know how to explain this one... just look for papa pics and watch the dvd! ... OMG the fucking god this performance! SHIT! FUUUUCK! Seriously! It was like some Adekan x Hikari Litchee Club cross over! It was amazing!! I fucking loved it! I love how they got this performance green lit! They were all in BDSM-like clothing, with bars/jail around them in the center stage and they were doing things like pulling at their outfit straps, or slapping their own butts, it was just.... just a nosebleed-fess and the entire crowd couldn’t stop dying from it! SO MUCH SKIN o_O

♡(20) AKAN Love ~ Junjou Ai ya de ~ : There is always a part in this song where one-by-one the members do their own dance moves and the rest of the members and the entire audience has to copy them after it. And in true Junta style he did his ‘boobies jump’ move again, and he was watching his part of the audience the entire song but they were so embarrassed to do it in front of him xD but everywhere else (that wasn’t his part of the crowd) were super going for it xD And then after his part there’s always a Junta yelling moment so he bowed and yelled “Gomennasaaaiiiiii / I’m soooorrrryyyyy!!!!!’ for that moment xD Junta and his fucking boobs move *cries of laughter*.

♡(22) YSSB : This was the song in the concert that got me totally and completely into the concert. I’m usually when conscious at concerts and never really fully enjoy - especially in a giant stadium, it’s very easy to get to fixated on ‘where is my oshi?’ and it’s very easy to get annoyed and distracted and blocked by the people around you, but as soon as YSSB started I was completely INTO IT. I was finally jumping and screaming and yelling from this part to the end of the entire concert. This is SO GOOD live! I absolutely love the outfits, I love the dance, I love their voices as they sing this song, it’s such a well performed and such a FUN song!

So because I finally got fully immersed in the concert from this point, I don’t really remember much about the songs or what people did, I was just completely and totally enjoying myself.

♡(29) パリピポアンセム : This was the moment where I got the biggest amount of Junta fanservice and I am so thankful for it! He definitely stayed with us way longer than he should have done! == He actually stopped to smile and wave at us (me and my friend) BIG TIME. He waved a lot and seriously wait until we had reacted, finished reacting and giving him a thanks, before he moved on! He was definitely there for longer than he should’ve been and I’m so happy about it! He had spotted us way, way earlier in the show to but he had given us only a small wave them. I guess he was saving it for this amazing moment!! Thank you so much Junta *dies*

And that’s the concert! Although, I have a few every notes that I can’t quiet remember where they go or don’t have a place to specifically put.

Extra Notes:

♡ At the beginning of the show I didn’t like KamiChan’s hair (I thought it was a tad long) but by the end of the show it had really grown on me xD not important but wanted to mention it.

♡ Towards the beginning, NonChan came down our side of the stage and got on the toroko (the moving trolleys). it was here that I noticed just how damn skinny NonChan is!! His arms are TINY!

♡ Also can we appreciate how pretty HamaChan is! He is so good looking! I always knew he was good looking but for some reason in person he’s just so much more good looking! And I really liked his hair at this concert! He’s currently off work sick with influenza so please send him so love!

♡ Speaking of HamaChan! During the first lot of Encore, he was at the stage where we were, and while he was singing, he put his leg up on part of the stage setting wall so he could stretch it out and kept it there for ages while he sang which was very funny xD away from his mic, he told the fans nearby ‘my leg hurts! I’m getting old’ so sweet.

♡ The girl in front of us was a huge Akito fan and she had a bunch of uchiwas for him to read and react to, so towards the end of the show (near the final greetings and such) he spent his entire time on our side of the stage reading her messages and doing all her requests. At one point he did something that made me burst out hard into laughter, and I saw that he saw me and then he proceeded to laugh out loud too xD

♡ Akito is the BEST at fan service! He does literally anything for his fans! He high fives them, waves, makes funny faces, shakes their hands, literally anything! I really regret not going through my plan of getting his uchiwa and drawing a mustache on it! At the next con I’ll definitely be holding TWO uchiwas! Also he is a very naughty person. He has a habit of air banging (thrusting his hips in the air) for fanservice and it’s parts hilarious and part ‘oh my! how could you?!’ xD

And that really is all! Hope you enjoyed the report!

#johnny's west #johnnys west #nakama junta #kamiyama tomohiro #hamada takahiro #fujii ryusei #kotaki nozomu #akito kiriyama #shigeoka daiki #report #review

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saintheartwing · 4 years

Text

May The Force Be With You, Part Five

“IIIIII love you mooooore! Than I did the week beeeeefore! Since I discovered alcohol!”

Tom’s bar was positively filled to the brim with chattering and drinking and partying people, from left to right, top to bottom, the whole place was jumping as people sang loudly and proudly by the nearby karaoke machine. It displayed the lyrics to the songs in a holographic display as people clinked their glasses and their mugs, and smiled happily, but all the same, for many of them there was a…

Fakeness to it. A desperation. A NEED to be happy, to just drown out their current life in drink if only for a few hours so they’d feel somewhat better. You could see it in their eyes, you could see it in their smiles, and even the music they sang, in a way, contributed to this. After all, the overwhelming majority of the songs came in from the Dyad, who’d released them as singles for the people to consume. Even what they used to forget their crappy life...made them think about their crappy bosses.

Kendall couldn’t help but notice that one guy was looking pretty cheery though. Genuinely cheery. It was a Trandoshan, a reptilian monster with clawed hands, scaly skin, horned head, reddish eyes and thick-armored frame. His name was Grohtk, and Kendall had treated him for two years.

As Han and Leia, disguised under their holograms, intermingled with the people, Kendall sat next to Grohtk. The music had now played to a metal song, “The Memory Remains”, as Kendall ordered a drink for the Trandoshan. “I’ve not seen you in a while. I take it you’re not getting shot at as much?” He wanted to know.

Indeed, Grohtk was a very, very good security officer. But he had taken many a laser bolt blast for his clients, and sometimes his whole arms and legs had been blasted off, and Kendall had helped the good doctor put the limbs back on. Once, Kendall had even healed Grohtk’s eye when the doctor had been out. It had been an INCREDIBLY delicate procedure, Kendall had had to be super careful he pulled the chunk of knife out just right or the eye would have been damaged permanently, but Kendall had hands that were steady and swift.

“I’ve gotten a job at the “penthouse” suites up at the Dyad’s tower.” He admitted in his growly voice to the Logosian. “I enjoy it...for the most part. They scare me, a TON, but...it pays well. Real well. Especially for me and my dad. I’m even going back on the dating scene.”

Kendall smiled, patting Grohtk’s shoulder as the Trandoshan grinned. “Heck, if you’ve got nothing you’re doing tonight, maybe…?” He asked.

“Sure, I’ll give you a call later. I’m game if you are.” Kendall told him.

He and Grohtk shared something in common. Both of them were from races who did NOT treat gay people well. Or bisexual people well. Really, anyone who wasn’t straight was looked up with scowls. For both, it was a matter of faith. For the Trandoshan, the goal was to adhere to the teachings of the Scorekeeper, who asked for them to track down and hunt particularly worthy prey. The current interpretation of the teachings was very conservative, stating that focus on such things took away from the hunt. Really, sex itself was almost demonized, and was barely tolerated in the name of propagating the race and, thus, the hunt…

Though plenty of the Trandoshan felt this was a stupid way to look at the teachings. Perhaps, soon enough, things would change. The grumblings on the home planet were getting louder.

For the Logosian people, it was their tight adherence to their holy book and to the teachings of the exceptionally beautiful prophet known as Ethos. Ethos had had long flowing hair like the river running down his back, and his heart had glowed like the sun, especially when he was laying hands on the sick and the dying to heal them. The teachings had told the Logosian people to love the family above all else. Well, since “family” had meant a mother, father and child, it hadn’t been hard for anti-straight relationships to be demonized by them.

It wasn’t perhaps FAIR to blame people like the Scorekeeper or God or Ethos. After all, people interpreted even basic things stupidly every day. But Kendall could no longer look at Ethos with his leafy Crown of Morality, and the soft white robes he’d worn, and that smile and...and, well, not see a representative of everything he despised. The same way Grohtk could no longer really look at his own kind and not see everything HE hated. He’d been relentlessly hounded and teased and mistreated by his species for years. Only amongst the aliens, the “other”, did he feel happy. Well...there was also his Dad.

Sometimes Kendall wished he’d had Grohtk and Thwurl’s relationship, the two really clearly loved each other. His own father…

No matter how kindly he’d been, and how much he’d tried, he couldn’t truly remember his Dad genuinely smiling. Truly, utterly happy. Grohtk and his father, they always seemed to be.

“How come the Dyad scare you?” “Well...okay, look…” Grohtk hesitated. “Promise you’ll keep this quiet. But when one of the guards brought up the incident that got Darth Furiosa’s grandmother killed, she shocked him so hard he was almost electrocuted to death.” “What did he say?”

“Well, she was talking about how it was the anniversary of her mother and grandmother’s death. Darth Furiosa was thinking out loud, she brought up how her mother had died, fallen to her death during the fight, and she talked about how Han Solo had shot her mother and everyone in the room was all quiet and nervous and unsure what to say, well...one of the guards said “I guess Mr. Solo should have given your grandma a “head’s up”. The guy always was making bad jokes and the Dyad never minded it before, but when he told THIS one, she immediately electrocuted him. He almost died.”

“Damn…” Kendall cringed. “I get it was insensitive to say that thing about your dad but...but you don’t almost kill someone over that.” He mumbled. “They should be able to control their temper! That’s disgusting. You FIRE someone for stuff like that, or dock their pay or something, you don’t FRY THEM WITH A LIGHTNING BOLT!” “And yet they get away with it because of who they are.” Grohtk muttered.

“Ah, to be rich and powerful.” Kendall sighed as Han and Leia walked over.

“We actually got them to talk a bit. They want to come over for drinks.” Leia admitted as she looked at Kendall. “They also seem to like you a lot. You’ve treated so many of them for wounds. I’m surprised.” “Our clinic was really close to where they worked, and we’re free. So...we got a lot of business.” Kendall confessed with a grin.

“How come you never became a doctor?” Han wanted to know, looking interested. “You seem smart enough.” Kendall hesitated. “I...I choke up all the time when it comes to actually remembering the terminology you need to pass the license to become a doctor.” He muttered as the other workers walked over to sit down by him. “Thing is, I’m good at recognizing obvious wounds and treating them. I know all the basics easily. I can fix them super quick and do it really well, but anything more complex is...a crapshoot for me. Sometimes I’ll remember, most of the time, I don’t. I mean...I mixed up a trytophatic nerve with a angliatic point.” He groaned as he hung his head. “Three times. And it’d be like mixing up your arm with your leg. I mean...yeah! They’re both limbs, but that’s about it! No real doctor should make mix-ups like that, you did that, you’d kill your patient.”

“Hey, you’re the best nurse WE had.” One of the workers said. “And you didn’t treat us differently because we were soldiers for the Dyad.” He added as the others nodded. “We get a lot of side eye and worse because we work for them, it was nice to just go somewhere where there was no judgment.”

Kendall looked up at them and smiled a bit. “Well...I’m a nurse. If someone’s hurt, I try to help them. I always thought it was that simple.” He admitted.

“They actually agreed to do us a favor if we’d do THEM a favor.” Leia admitted. “They’re going to give us access to the camera system in the building that analyzes and records everything inside. We’ll be able to spy on the Dyad whenever we want. But they DO want us to break up a protest going on at the docks.” “We’d go but...well…” The guards standing by their fellow Dyad workers gulped a bit nervously. “They uh...the protestors kinda...outnumber us this time.” He muttered. “And we just had to shoo protestors away from the docks yesterday and they threw bricks and stuff at us.” “We’re really, really getting sick of them always screaming at us and tossing things at us.” Another guard admitted. “It isn’t like we can just take another job. Nobody else would hire us. The Dyad paid us really good wages for people like us, we barely completed our college education and nobody wanted to hire us because our degrees don’t mean squat on Nar Shadaa. It was either work for them or be janitors somewhere or be on the streets.”

“It couldn’t have been THAT bad, what were your degrees?” Han asked. “Art?” “Yeah, man. ART.” Said the guard from before as Han looked stunned. “You think Nar Shadaa gives a s--t about analyzing interior design and comparing the different pillar structure types of the ancient sith? Only the rich assholes care about that stuff because they BUY the art. But they weren’t going to have some kids out of college working for them, they’d fly in professional art critics with snooty monocles and stuff who did their stints on Coruscant. And we didn’t wanna work for the Hutts anyway, we heard they occasionally ATE people who pissed them off! Gross, man!” All of them nodded, several workers nearby enthusiastically saw. “Yeah, I SAW them do it. Twice.” One of them confessed. “I used to do electrician work for them before I switched to the Dyad, I thought a couple of lesbian Sith would be WAY less scary to work for. I was barely right.”

“SHHHH.” One of his friends shoved a hand over his mouth. “Be careful about what you say. Even mentioning that they scare you can get you in trouble.” He whispered. “We’ve ALL got to be more cautious, we dunno who’d be listening.” “I wish I could say far worse about them.” The guard who’d spoken before muttered. “But they’ve done some sick things to people who insult them to their faces.”

“Like what?”

The guard hesitated. He seemed to be chewing on the words, but then he explained. It had been the day of new hires. The Dyad had been speaking to all of the new guards they’d brought in and were doing some additional background checks by asking some personal questions. Like, for example, would they be comfortable working for two Lesbians. Luckily, all of the guards didn’t seem to mind. But unfortunately, the man who’d brought in the new hires on his ship was getting impatient.

“Can we hurry this up? I got other places to visit. The Hutts want me to bring in some off-worlders for security. And hopefully they won’t smell as bad as this batch.” The Rodian remarked as Darth Furiosa looked at him, Darth Raize raising an eyebrow. She was sensing something from him, and her eyes narrowed slightly before she spoke in a calm, cool voice.

“Are you not comfortable with lesbians yourself, sir?” “...I don’t really see how that’s relevant.” He remarked stonily as Raize nonchalantly walked over to Furiosa, and sloooooowly put her arm around her beloved.

“Oh, well that’s good. You know, my wife and I were just discussing our planned vacation to this charming island planet. Long, lush beaches, soft wind, the rolling waves. We’ll just eat barbeque on the beach...play some volleyball, and ah...well...take nice, long swims.” She intoned in a husky tone as the Rodian visibly flinched.

“...can you please keep the...sex stuff to yourselves?” He asked. “It’s creepy hearing you humans talk about it openly. YECCH.”

“Ohhh, so it’s not us being LESBIANS that’s really what turns you off, it’s us being humans, is that it?” Raize asked as the Rodian frowned.

“You humans act like you’re so much better than 90 percent of the species here on Nar Shadaa, so forgive me if I think that, though well behaved, you’re at best all monkeys shaved.” The Rodian captain of the taxi ship the new hires had arrived in intoned.

SCHWISH!

Something red flashed through the air and the man’s head plopped down. Several of the guards screamed in horror as Furiosa lowered her lightsaber, and Raize turned to the other guards. “Just so there’s absolutely no mistaking this, let us make something very clear. If you’re really concerned that we may, perhaps, be making a mistake in how we handle our security, by all means, you’re welcome to let us know. We’re not going to punish you for little mistakes. Nothing will be off limits. Except the kind of bigotry on display moments ago, either towards ANY species, or ANY sexuality. Because the price of doing that…”

She lifted up the Rodian’s severed head, and shook it in front of them all. “Is that we will use your skull for a DECORATIVE BIRDHOUSE. So if any of you have any niggling little biases you’ve been keeping from us that you want to get out of your system, either do it now and then leave, or we collect. your. fucking. head. WELL?!” She roared out, her eyes flashing like lightning as the new hires all gulped.

Then somebody spoke up.

“Uh...is...being afraid of Hutts...does that count? I’ve never liked them because my dad owed a bunch of money to them and they decided they’d make him pay it off by eating him and my mom in front of me, then saddling ME with the remaining debt.” “...you know what, that one’s fair.” Furiosa confessed. “You can stay.”

Han and Leia’s mouth hung open. Kendall flinched. “I can actually testify to the...behavior...of some of the Hutts. We once had a Hutt come in. An off-worlder who thought he could get in on the action. He failed miserably, got beaten very badly in a fight, and he oozed his way to our free clinic. We did our best, but...well, we couldn’t save him. When we did the autopsy, we opened his stomach and...well, we...we found half-digested guards inside. So evidently they really AREN’T above eating people in a pinch if they’re super mad or desperate.”

Leia shuddered and shook, shaking her head back and forth. She looked positively horrified, and Han had to give her a deep, passionate hug. “Hey. Hey, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m here. I’m here.” He spoke lovingly as Kendall looked at the two. He had a feeling that Leia was suffering from some sort of PTSD herself that pertained to Hutts, but he thought it best not to ask. She didn’t look well at all.

“Let’s just get the business at the dock over with.” Kendall sighed as he put his hands in his pockets after lifting the hood to his blue, slightly puffy jacket up over his head. He and Han and Leia shook hands with the patrons they’d been speaking to, and then made their way back out, heading for the docks.

Sure enough, it was a most unpleasant scene. A VERY clearly outnumbered small security force was trying to guard several of the Dyad’s ships, but a large crowd of angry, righteously furious protestors were holding signs up. Some of them were normal, written down on big thick white paper in large letters. Others were holo-signs, held up on pen-like emitters. A few were tossing tomatoes and other types of fruit at the security force, and many were chanting.

“Hey Ho! Dyad’s Got to Go! Hey Ho! Dyad’s Got to Go!”

“The Dyad are Shit! Trash their ship! The Dyad are shit! Trash their ship!”

“Our taxes pay your salary! Our taxes pay your salary!”

And a few others were singing, pushing up against the security officers. Loud cries of “Move, bitch, get out the way, get out the way, bitch, get out the way” echoed through the air as Kendall dryly chuckled at how the security force was trying...and failing...to look stoic. They were getting more and more antsy, a few of their legs were jiggling, some of them were casting furtive, slightly worried glances at one another.

“I’m surprised the Dyad didn’t just get a bunch or robots to do this for them.” Han admitted as they approached the crowd of protesters.

“That’s one of the ONLY things we’re really glad they didn’t do.” One of the protesters said, the twi’lek shaking her head. “They try to hire local all the time to boost the economy and give the average person a job, and they didn’t replace people with machines either. We used to appreciate that, sure. But now we see it as a double-edged sword. If it’s our friends and neighbors hired as their goons, WE’RE less likely to get really wild with them the way we would with a robot.”

“Let us by! The Dyad havve been bossing us around long enough! Its time we sent a message!” Said one protestor, who finally decided that tossing crumpled up paper, or fruit, or vegetables wasn’t enough. He shoved one of the security guards. The guard decided this was enough. She slammed her baton into the guy’s stomach, knocking him back.

“That’s it, get them!” She yelled out as the security force raced forward. The protesters were caught off guard, it was turning into a madhouse. Leia and Han and Kendall tried to help the protesters, to tug them away from sweeping batons and electro-stun staffs, Kendall yelling for everyone to please, try to calm down!

It wasn’t working. It was turning into chaos. People were yelling angrily, attacking the guards, who were beginning to get overwhelmed. They punched, they kicked, they even tried biting a few times. Loud THWAK-THWAK and crunches and cries of pain were echoing through the air, but then there came a very loud, horrible, wet noise.

That horrifying wet noise stopped everyone else in their tracks. They all turned to see what had happened and they saw that one of the security guards had gotten their electro staff stripped from them, and one of the protesters had struck them so hard...they’d cracked their helmet...and their skull open.

People reeled back as Kendall raced over, carefully removing the the helmet as he looked down at the guard. He’d been hurt badly, the unfortunate human guard had cracked his head badly. Kendall could see the BONE. “Oh no, no, no, no.” Kendall’s eyes went wide. “I need a towel or...or something soft! Somebody?!” He cried out.

Everyone looked around. But nobody moved forward, out of a mixture of shock, of fear...and in some cases, a sense of “let the pig die”. Kendall frowned furiously at the faces who looked down at the security guard with disdain, spitting on the ground as he ripped his jacket off, and got his undershirt off. “You’re PATHETIC!” He snapped as he wrapped it around the man’s head “Get the FUCK out of here if you’re not going to help!” He roared. “I’m a registered nurse, so get out of the way, and let me do my job!”

People stepped back as Kendall looked at the man’s eyes. “His pupils are dilating. He’s sweating heavily, his breathing is getting more difficult. I need to get him to a proper place to treat him. Does anyone have any Bacta or Kolto or any medical packs?”

Leia, luckily, stepped forward. She pulled out a small medical kit, kneeling down as she administered the liquid within the pack to the man’s lips. He was barely breathing, he struggled to gulp it down as Kendall examined the wound. The med-kit liquid was working, the man was stabilizing, but barely. “I need to stitch his head up.” He murmured as he tried to lift the security guard up into his arms and then turned to the other security guards. “I can’t carry him alone!” He insisted. “Help me get the armor off at least!”

The guards glanced at each other, then began to help get the armor off. Soon, at last, the poor man was almost utterly naked, but easier to carry as Kendall helped carry him off to Leia and Han’s vehicle. The guards glanced at the protesters, then quietly, somberly, stepped away from the Dyad’s ships. The protesters looked at each other, and then moved quietly to the ship, and began to push it over silently, saying nothing as they did so. It finally flopped over, onto its side, with a loud THRAKKA-THA-SCHOOOOM. Now the ship finally laid on its side, some windows blown out as the protestors stared at the thing. It laid on the floor of the docking bay like a dead beast, and they began to quietly head out, each returning to their homes.

“Okay, keep the vehicle steady.” Kendall said as Han and Leia drove back to their hotel. “We need to get him more proper medicine. I’ll have to check the wound to see if any parts of the weapon got stuck inside him like shrapnel.” He told the two. “...I don’t suppose...Leia, could you, like...force heal him?” “Unfortunately, I don’t know that skill.” She confessed. “Jedi do heal naturally faster than most, and we can heal ourselves fairly easily but when it comes to other people, that’s a bit harder. I don’t know that technique yet.”

“Damn.” Kendall hesitated. “Well, then I’ll just have to examine the wound and hope basic bacta will be enough. I’ve never treated a head wound as badly as this. In THEORY the bacta should do it. But...well, what works in theory and abstract isn’t the same as what actually works in real life.” He muttered.

“Hey. It’ll happen, kid.” Han said gently, looking up in the mirror. “...you’re gonna do fine.” He told Kendall, who tried to smile back, though he could barely return the smile.

#star wars #lgbtq #LGBT Rights #LGBT #fanfiction #fanfic #action #drama

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truthofherdreams · 7 years

Text

Long and Lost (chapter 12)

Identities are revealed and lost friends are reunited once more... (ao3)

Emma decides to bury the hatchet at breakfast the following morning. Getting out of bed was a miracle in itself, too exhausted to move for long hours. Oliver, the guy on call at the station during the evenings and the weekends, had texted her at eight to tell her everything was fine and she didn’t have to worry until Monday morning. Which, it’s nice, she guesses. He’s nice, all man-bun and freckles, despite the fact that he also happens to be the Mayor’s adoptive son. At least she doesn’t have to force herself to do a few extra hours out of guilt for what happened to Graham.

She goes downstairs for food after ten, something that happens, well, never. Henry is watching cartoons on the couch, Mary Margaret reading peacefully in the chair by the window. Both are still in their pajamas, because it’s apparently that kind of day for everyone. Leo is in the kitchen when Emma enters it, vaguely offering her a wave of his hand. A bowl of cereals and a mug of tea are in front of him, and he looks like he fell out of bed about two minutes ago. Emma knows the feeling.

She turns on the coffee machine, because she definitely needs more than hot cocoa to keep her going today, and slides two Pop-Tarts in the toaster, before she turns to her brother again. Stretching out her arm, she watches as he blinks at the folded bank note between her fingers. She has to shake her hand a little for him to grab it, and he does it with a suspicious glance her way.

“It’s not a movie date without popcorn,” she gives as a matter of explanation.

Leo’s lips twitch, just a little. “It’s not a date at all, apparently.”

“Just buy some popcorn for your boyfriend and shut up.”

Her brother is grinning now, putting the bill in his pocket. He’s the only one of them who bothered with a shower and proper clothes, apparently. “Thanks.”

“No bringing boys home until you’re eighteen, though.”

“And you ruined it.”

But he’s still grinning, and Emma smiles too. If those stories of him are true, her only goal in life is to give everyone their happy endings. Maybe it doesn’t have to be big; maybe it can start with making sure her brother is happy and in love, with a boyfriend worthy of him. And who is she to deny him happiness, after all?

They discuss which movie would be the best one for a first date-except-it’s-not-a-date around breakfast, before agreeing that Gideon/Not-Gideon is enough of a nerd that he very much would like something artsy instead of the latest blockbuster, and so Leo picks some old movie in black and white Storybrooke’s little theatre is showing today, instead of whatever superhero movie is on at the moment.

He’s smiling all through their conversation, looking more like the teenager he’s supposed to be and less like the hero’s sidekick he’s been since they met, and it makes Emma’s heart a little lighter. His happiness is contagious and, by the time she decides she needs a shower, and to check on Graham, she’s smiling too and forgetting all about yesterday’s mess.

She makes her way to Granny’s first, to buy her boss the disgusting tea he loves so much and a bunch of pastries, because she’s fucking nice and she deserves a raise, probably. Ruby is behind the counter as always, black-and-red hair pulled into a ponytail, long legs clad in matching leather pants. Emma pretends not to stare, not that Ruby notices much when she’s busy bickering with the Latina woman from David’s party.

“Emma!” she exclaims when Emma makes her way to the counter. “Tell California here that she’s wrong.”

The other woman lets out an exasperate sound, throwing her arms in the air. “How many times will I have to tell you my name is Arizona, jesus. And I’m right, and you know it.”

“You’re wrong,” Ruby sighs. “I know my shit about wolves, okay?”

“What’s the problem?” Emma asks, even if she’s not sure she wants to know. It seems to be about more than just zoology trivia, and she wants none of it. But too late, she’s part of it now, for better or for worse.

“Alabama here,” (Arizona rolls her eyes and turns in her seat, muttering something rude) “is saying that wolf packs are led by an alpha male…”

“Which is true!”

“Which is wrong! They’re led by an alpha couple. Jesus, what do they teach you in school?”

Emma’s mouth opens a little as she blinks at one woman, then the other. They’re throwing daggers at each other, obviously fuming and, yes, she definitely doesn’t want any part of this weird mating ritual they seem to have going on. Not on top of all the drama with Leo’s love life, and all the drama Mary Margaret is hiding from them, thank you very much.

“Can I have a chamomile tea and two bear claws, please?” she says instead, changing the subject with very little finesse.

Ruby huffs, points a perfectly manicured finger at Arizona’s face and mouths ‘I’m right and you know it’, before she moves down the counter to prepare Emma’s order. Emma heaves a breath now that the tension created by the two women no longer surrounds her, and she taps her nails against the steel counter in rhythm with the song playing over the speakers, to pass the time. She’s muttering the lyrics too, when Arizona coughs to get her attention.

“Hottie has been staring at you for a while.”

Emma groans as she turns around, expecting blue eyes and an exasperatingly handsome face. Except, no. The face is definitely handsome, but the skin is black instead of white, the eyes a warm shade of brown, the smile more gentle than sarcastic. Mystery man from last evening definitely spent the night in town, and definitely wasn’t on his merry way this morning like she had hoped. Go figure.

With a sigh that hides a muttered curse, Emma turns around in her seat and makes her way toward the booth where he’s sitting. He doesn’t even pretend like he was not blatantly staring at her, the creep, and keeps smiling his kind smile when she stops in front of him. From up close and even despite the unflattering neon lights, he’s definitely more handsome than in the dark of the night. Not that it matters much, all things considered.

“You’re still here,” she comments in a tone she hopes is accusatory.

He simply grins back. “I’m still here,” he echoes.

Emma’s eyebrows rise of their own accord, her lips pressed into a tight line. She doesn’t have time for those games, or for entertaining a stranger who, according to Leo, shouldn’t even be here in the first place. All she wants is to know how he knows her name, because she’s damn certain she has never met him before, and the last thing she wants is a stalker following her all the way from Boston to Middle of Nowhere, Maine.

“Not exactly big fans of visitors here, are you?” he comments then, still smiling. Does he ever stop smiling?

“Not really used to people passing through,” she admits in a half-truth.

A little snort escapes his nose. Cute. “I figured. The Mayor didn’t seem too happy to see me. Guess tourism isn’t her priority.”

Emma forces herself not to groan and roll her eyes. Of course Madam fucking Mayor would see him, and make a show of being her usual delightful self. What else is expected of the human equivalent of stepping on a Lego?

“Yeah, well…” is all she finds to answer. Well done, Emma. Spectacular. “What led you to us anyway?”

He takes a sip of his drink – some weird tea, nice, he and Graham can be best buddies – and for a moment Emma thinks he’s going to avoid her question altogether. But then he puts his mug back on the table, and the annoying smile is back on his lips. “Just passing by, really. I love little towns like this one. I’ve always been fond of all the stories they contain.”

She squints at him, wondering for a moment if he’s openly mocking her or adding underlying meanings to his words. He can’t know. Surely he can’t know. And yet, she’s still squinting, and he’s still smiling, and she didn’t have enough hours of sleep to deal with whatever is happening right now.

“Sure,” she replies, even if she’s anything but. “How do you know my name anyway?”

“You don’t remember?” he asks. “I’m hurt.”

She wants to tell him she definitely would remember that kind of face, but it would just sound shallow. She wants to tell him she doesn’t remember anything, but it sounds too personal. She wants to tell him, should I remember you from this life or the one where I’m a princess prophesized to save the world, but it sounds too ridiculous, thank you very much.

So she doesn’t say anything at all. Which is probably better that way, truth be told. Not that she has time to reply anything, because then Ruby is calling her name and the little bell chimes by the front door, and she locks eyes with James when she turns around. He stops in his tracks, his eyes traveling between her and the stranger, once, twice, before a muscle spasms in his cheek and his eyes harden.

She wants to tell him that, whatever he believes is happening, it’s not it, but. Why would she say that? It’s not like she owes him anything. It’s not like she can still feel his breath on her mouth and smell his cologne, it’s not like her brain had replayed the scene from the bathroom a hundred times before she finally managed to fall asleep. Because that would be ridiculous.

“Interesting,” the stranger comments.

Emma wonders who would arrest her, if she were to sock him in the jaw.

Not that she will find out, for she makes a point of walking toward the counter and taking cup of tea and pastries from Ruby. The waitress knows better to ask her to pay, simply adds it to her note and sends her on her merry way with kind words for Graham. Emma offers her a tight-lipped smile in reply.

James is still standing by the door when she makes her exit, and she stops by his side for a moment. “Green doesn’t suit you,” she whispers before she opens the door.

She can feel his eyes on her as she makes her way to the car.

…

She isn’t lost.

She definitely isn’t lost, even if her pony has been trotting in circles for twenty minutes now and every tree looks the same. She is used to making her way through the forest to the Merry Men’s camp, has done it since she was old enough to ride her own pony alone. Roland was by her side, of course, because nobody would leave the crown princess wander the forest alone at the tender age of eight, but they decided to race down the path and now she can’t find him anymore. Or the camp. Or the way back to the castle.

But Emma isn’t lost, she’s just – not exactly where she is supposed to be.

It is more than fine, though. Brigands never come here, since it is well-known Merry Men territory, and Marian has been loyal to the crown for years now. If anyone finds her, they will be friends, not foes, and they will help her out. Not that she needs help, since she has established the fact that she isn’t lost. Just, somewhat, misplaced.

It’s too early in the afternoon to use the stars to guide her, and she didn’t think to take a compass with her. Mama once told her how to make one with a needle, a cork and a cup of water, but she has neither of those things in her bag.

It is another ten minutes of wandering around before Emma starts to feel restless. She throws one leg over her pony’s croup to jump down, before she grabs the reins and pulls the pony along. The little mare follows her without a moment of hesitation, trusting Emma’s choice more than Emma trusts her own instincts. Every tree looks the same, every path similar to the one before, and not a single wooden sign helps her find her way.

Maybe she could admit to being lost, but it would be admitting defeat.

She wonders if calling after Roland would be of any help at all, but the entire forest is silent around her. If Roland was looking for her, surely he would be the one to call her name. Emma wonders if he still hasn’t realised she is missing, or if he believes she will find her way by herself and doesn’t need his help (she doesn’t) or if he did it on purpose. Maybe he was a villain all along and his goal was to lose the little princess in the woods and let her die here. Maybe it is working. Maybe she should stop thinking about so many macabre theories.

“Well, hello there.”

A little scream escapes Emma’s mouth as she startles, turning around to face the newcomer. She didn’t hear his steps, didn’t hear anything at all. Like he wasn’t here, and then he was.

He’s smiling kindly at her, the kind of gentle smile she always sees on her papa’s lips. His skin is black – not as dark as Sir Lancelot’s but still darker than most people in her queendom – and he wears such a long robe that it brushes against the ground. He definitely wasn’t there, and then he was, because he definitely must be a wizard. He looks the part alright, if you ask Emma.

“Who are you?” she asks, tilting her head to the side.

The smile turns into a grin as the stranger answers with a question of his own, “Haven’t your parents taught you to say hello back?”

“My parents told me not to talk to strangers in the woods. Or any place.” She puts her chin up, just a little, in the way Leo says makes her look like a prissy little girl. Leo doesn’t know anything about anything beside his wooden sword too big for him.

“Can you keep a secret?” the stranger asks her as he kneels to look her in the eyes.

Emma knows mama wouldn’t like her to keep talking to someone she doesn’t know, but her curiosity takes over anyway. Emma loves secrets, and she’s very good at keeping them. After all, she is keeping the biggest secrets of all about herself, one she hasn’t even told Roland, or Gideon, or anyone. Only mama, and papa, and Leo know. She’s that good of a secret-keeper!

So she hesitates only for a second before she nods her head and takes a step closer to the stranger. He looks so kind, with the laughing wrinkles around his eyes and the grin; he won’t hurt her.

“Everyone's a stranger until they’re not.”

Emma frowns, until a giggle escapes her. It makes the man laugh too, with big dimples in his cheeks and stars in his brown eyes. When she was younger, papa used to tell her the stories about Sir Galavant and his beautiful Isabella every night, before going to bed. She loved the stories and often dreamed of adventures of her own, with mysteries and pirates and songs. Emma wonders if Galavant looked like this, pretty and kind and always smiling.

“One day, Emma,” he tells her. “One day we no longer will be strangers.”

“We’ll be friends?”

“Indeed. Once you’re older and ready to save the world, we’ll be friends.”

Emma frowns once more, wondering how the stranger knows her name as well as her destiny. She is about to ask him, when he stands up once more, brushing away the wrinkles in his robe. He points to the path leading west before she can say anything at all.

“If you go this way, you will find the Merry Men’s camp in less than ten minutes.”

Emma looks at the path above her shoulder.

When she turns her head again, the stranger is gone.

…

Graham looks way better already when she visits him, accepting the tea and forcing her to eat one of the bear claws. He promises he will be back to the station on Monday, but there is a shadow behind his eyes. Like he is still hiding something from her, not entirely saying the truth about what happened to him that day. Emma gives him time – if he ever wants to confide in her, he knows where to find her.

Instead, she gossips about Leo with him, and about their strange visitor. Graham asks a few questions, but it’s more to entertain her than out of sheer interest, and Emma decides to leave him alone. He needs his rest, after all, and she needs her weekend. It feels like forever since she last managed to have more than one hour with Henry on her own.

They buy greasy burgers at the White Rabbit and go to the park, before Henry decides that he wants to go to the beach. It’s starting to get cold outside, but her son wants to walk in the water one last time before winter, and Emma doesn’t have the heart to say no. So she sits on the sand and laughs at Henry’s little shrieks every time a wave comes to lap at his feet.

He jumps and runs and laughs, his cheeks red with excitement. And then he’s running toward her, sand in his hair and between his fingers, all laughter and smiles and happiness. Emma opens her arms to him, laughs too when he throws himself at her. For a moment, she forgets about everything else, everything that isn’t her son’s cheers and smiles. She kisses his cheek and he giggles, drops a sloppy kiss on her cheek too.

“Mom, can I ask you something?” he asks once his breathing is back to normal.

Emma frowns a little -- this can go a lot of different ways, knowing Henry, and she doesn’t know what to expect. “Sure, kiddo. What’s up?”

“Remember that Christmas when you got me the big fire truck?”

She does, indeed. She also remembers what Henry wanted, instead of the truck. From there, it’s not too hard to guess where this conversation is heading. Come to think about it, it’s almost surprising that it took him so long to ask at all. He was pretty set on the idea, three years ago.

“I remember,” she answers, waiting.

“You said… You said an apartment was too small and he would be too miserable, and we needed a house. But we have a house now, and I asked Mary Margaret this morning and she isn’t allergic and Leo isn’t allergic and she said yes and…”

“Okay, kiddo. Breathe.”

Henry takes a large gulp of air, before he offers her his most beautiful smile. “Can we get a dog?”

Emma knows, in her heart of hearts, that a million reasons to refuse exist. A dog is expensive. Henry might not know how to properly take care of it. He might get bored. They will go back to Boston eventually. And what then?

But Henry is looking at her in that way, the one where Emma doesn’t entirely feel like a failure of a mother, like she might actually do a decent job at this parenting shit and… Henry deserves to be happy. He hasn’t made proper friends quite yet, and she’s afraid he’s a bit lonely at times. Maybe he needs a furry companion, loyal and adorable.

“You know what,” she starts, and Henry gasps, happy and loud, “Let’s check with Mary Margaret first.”

Mary Margaret replies to her text with ‘as long as you don’t force me to take care of it’, and Emma guesses that it’s doable, between Henry, Leo and her. So she leads an overexcited child toward their car and ignores his never-ending babbling as they drive back to the Main Street.

She’s smiling by the time she parks in front of Granny’s, even more so when Henry runs toward Ruby. The waitress stops cleaning the outside tables long enough to blink confusingly at the small human yelling at her. “We gettin’ a doggie! We gettin’ a doggie!”

Ruby barks a laugh, and grins at Emma. “Good luck.”

Which, as it turns out, Emma needs. David is the one to welcome them when they enter the animal shelter, all too eager to show them the puppies they have in the back room. The smell is a tad too overwhelming, which makes Emma reconsider her choice for a second. That is, before Henry runs for one of the cages and presses his nose to the bars, laughing when the puppy licks him. She hasn’t heard him laugh like this in ages, and it makes guilt crawl up her throat in return.

She pictures the next hour to be full of puppy cuddles – or, worse, for Henry to find some Stitch-like creature or something. Instead, one dog throws himself at his cage repeatedly, getting louder by the second with his yapping and whines, until they have no other choice but to focus their attention on him.

He’s the kind of dog Emma has always found pretty – those Australian shepherds with the soft fur and mismatched eyes and pink nose. And, when David opens his cage, he throws himself at Emma like his life depends on it, jumping on her until she kneels down and scratches his ears and his belly. The dog is so excited Emma is afraid he’s going to pee on her at some point, but instead he just licks her hands and headbutts her stomach and is otherwise so adorable her heart melts on the spot.

“Mom! He likes you!” It’s a bit of an understatement here. Thankfully, Henry seems to be on board, and the dog is quick to focus his affections on the smallest human in the room. Which. Fucking adorable.

“Guess we have a winner,” David says with a smile.

Emma stands up and brushes the invisible dust on her pants, along with some white hair. Oh, Mary Margaret is going to hate her for this. “Guess we do,” she grins, upset flatmate-slash-landlady be damned.

David gives Henry a collar and leash, and boy and dog run around the shelter while Emma fills in the necessary paperwork. She pays for the shots and the other stuff the vet did to the dog, and buys some bowls, toys, and a nice cushion while she’s at it. She might be more into the idea of owning a dog than she thought at first.

David tells her some story about how sad the dog was and how he didn’t let anyone pet him, until David came back from the hospital. But Kathryn doesn’t like animals and David spends enough time around them as it is, and the dog is going to a good family anyway. All is well in the world.

Thankfully, the dog doesn’t throw up in her car, and Henry is still in the process of listing potential names by the time they come back home. He’s hesitating between Mister Scruffy and Pluto, because he still very much is a seven-year-old, and tells Mary Margaret so. The poor woman looks in horror as the dog runs around her kitchen, sniffing ever new smell and piece of furniture. He also seems to be happy to meet her, his pink tongue hanging low when she pats his head.

It has nothing on the way his head jerks up at the sound of the front door opening, though.

“Hey, we’re back! The movie was aweso--oh fuck. Wilby!”

Leo stops in his tracks and Gideon/Not Gideon, who was close behind, just bumps into his back. Not that the boy notices all that much, his eyes glued to the dog. The dog’s ears perk up, before he lets out a loud bark and throws himself at Leo. He jumps on the boy with all his strength, until the both of them are on the floor. Henry is quick to follow them in a tangle of limbs and fur and laughter.

It’s five long minutes of flailing around before Leo sits on the floor with the dog between his legs, arms wrapped around the animal’s neck and nose pressed to his head. His eyes are misty from unshed tears as he sends Emma the most grateful look she has ever seen in her life. She isn’t sure what she did, exactly, but whatever it is, she did it right.

“How about everyone goes to play in the garden while we get some hot chocolate ready for everyone?” Mary Margaret announces, ever the one to find the perfect solution to any tricky situation.

An old tennis ball is found in the cupboard under the stairs, along with a bright yellow frisbee, and everyone is sent on their merry way to play with the dog. The living room grows quiet suddenly, leaving Emma dizzy and confused. Yes, hot cocoa might be a good idea after all, she thinks as she makes her way to the kitchen.

Mary Margaret, bless her heart, is already taking the milk out of the fridge and pouring it in a pan, so Emma grabs a bunch of cups from the cupboard. She’s pouring two spoonful of cocoa powder into each mug when her flatmate speaks once more.

“Shall we talk about it?” she asks, with no need for further explanations.

Emma knows perfectly what she means, yet has no idea how to discuss it. Did she just give Leo his dog back? Is the dog cursed too? No, the dog seems to remember them all quite well, if his reactions to everything and everyone is anything to go by. But so… What even is going on? She has never been more confused in her life.

“I have no idea,” is all she finds to answer.

Mary Margaret is tactful enough to leave it there. Not tactful enough to keep her next thought to herself, though. “Shall we talk about the hickey on Fabian’s neck then?”

The groan out of Emma’s throat is loud and ugly. As eventful as Leo’s entrance had been, she hadn’t missed the purple bruise on the other boy’s neck, no matter how high his collar was. And, okay, Emma isn’t stupid -- she doesn’t remember being a teenager, but she can only guess what they are up to at that age. She just… didn’t expect Leo to get so obviously, well, obvious with his not-boyfriend? Especially not after his tearful moment yesterday.

Whatever happened with Fabian (Fabian! That’s his name!) today, it definitely worked. Emma doesn’t know if she wants to be impressed or terrified, to know her teenage brother has more game than she does.

(But then again…)

“Can we not?” she whines.

Mary Margaret laughs, shaking her head to herself as she pours the hot milk into each cup. Emma wants to tell her, This is your son. This is your son getting touchy-feely with this boy and you’re just laughing. The thought scares her even more.

It scares her, by how easily it comes to her mind.

In how much truth it might hold.

What even...

#cs ff #captain swan #emma swan #killian jones #beautiful duckling #captain sex #ouat #otl: as you wish #fanfic #ff: ouat #ff: long and lost

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merinathropp · 6 years

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Tanz der Vampire - Hamburg 2017: Detailed Breakdown

It’s official, folks: I have finally, finally seen Tanz der Vampire live. After 17 months of hoping, dreaming and saving - my little dream came true, and I flew to Germany to see the show. So! In loving memorial, I’ve written up a stupidly long review of my experience below. I saw the show twice, but have combined the entire experience into this one post. If anyone has a particular question about a scene or song, please just shout at me :) I’m up for any excuse to talk more about this show, being the obsessed fan that I am...

First night - from stalls left Second night - from stalls front row, right in the middle Graf von Krolock - Mathias Edenborn Alfred - Tom van der Ven Sarah - Maureen Mac Gillavry Sarah - Anja Wendzel (alternate) Professor Abronsius - Victor Petersen Herbert - Kiryll Zolygin (alternate) Magda - Sara Jane Checchi Chagal - Jerzy Jeszke

GENERAL

- This trip was worth every dang penny. Hands down one of the greatest musical theatre experiences of my life I encourage everyone to save up, spend the money and fly to Germany to see this musical live, at least once your lifetime. You will not regret it.

- What blew me away the most about my entire experience was coming to the realisation that Tanz der Vampire is a legitimately spectacular musical at its core, more so than I had ever given it credit for. Everything comes together to create an entirely immersive experience that sweeps you off your feet for 3 hours, and a shaky camcorder bootleg can never, never match its true glory.

- Orchestra was full and luscious, to my ears. No idea what all the complaints are about, Hamburg has definitely pulled out all the stops in this regard. There was a killer pianist banging out some stuff I’ve never even noticed on the CD! - The lighting was pure magic. My word, this show does not get enough credit having some of the most awe-inspiring lighting I think I’ve ever seen onstage. Highlights for me were the gleaming moonlight that floods the back of the stage during Tanzaal and the eerie golden glow of sunrise in Carpe Noctem.

- The sets are unearthly and gothic and stunning; the rotating cottage blanketed in snow, the graveyard swimming in mist with its wrought-iron gates in silhouette, the cavernous ballroom with its winding staircase, the maze of bookcases draped in cobwebs and dust...gosh, there are too many to name. I’ve always leaned more towards the Kentaur Revival sets, but having seen these ones live, I’m starting to seriously reconsider my opinion.

ENSEMBLE

- Is it just me, or are the German casts always uncannily brilliant when it comes to their mirror doubles? I swear this is one thing the Russian casts never managed to pull off. Even from the front row, it still looked like Alfred’s reflection was dancing with an invisible Herbert. And the trio at the end were perfectly synced, right down to drawing breath in unison. Absolutely ingenious.

- Roten Stiefel was sublime, especially the first time I saw it. The ensemble seemed to be dancing on air, every movement just flowed and Sarah literally flew around the stage like she was on cloud nine. I don’t think I breathed for the entire sequence.

- The coordination of the choreography in Ewigkeit blew me away. You just don’t know where to look during that number, it’s such a visual spectacle! Like a literal load of rotting corpses, each trying to keep themselves in one piece long enough to feed. One guy clearly had a case of Nearly-Headless Nick, one guy kept ‘popping’ his arms back into their sockets, one lady was totally spastic - they’re all so individual and creative!

- Nightmare!Alfred and nightmare!Sarah were haunting and lovely. Every movement between them was so gentle and full of longing. The way nightmare!Alfred looked at her, guh - tender and sweet, yet oddly aloof and mysterious, he was so interesting to watch! And his snarling at the end was vicious, like a mad dog or something, really chilling stuff.

- Nightmare Solo 1 was replaced by HERBERT HIMSELF! Yes, it was HERBERT who appeared on top of the bed and introduced Carpe Noctem, cementing his ‘puppet master’ role 100%. He was so graceful and controlling throughout the entire number, moving his hands like he was ‘guiding’ each dancer into place. And I loved that the replacement meant that Herbert was the first and last character to leave the nightmare, he remained on the bedpost gazing down at sleeping Alfred until the very end of the singing, before drifting off upstage. Ugh, so many new Carpe Noctem headcanons...

- I was disappointed with our Black Vampire. He never threw himself into his movements, there was no power or danger in anything he did, just...perfectly okay dancing, and one really odd lacklustre jump. Bit of a let down :(

KROLOCK (Mathias Edenborn)

- You know how everyone in the fandom says you never forget your first Graf? Well...shoot, turns out they’re absolutely right. Mathias was magnificent and blew all my expectations away; I’ve never thought much of him, in the videos I’ve seen, but watching him live was an incredible experience. He was electrifying from the moment he glided onstage, and commanded the attention of the whole theatre. His Krolock was refined yet animalistic, powerful yet broken, charming yet icy cold, passionate yet subtle. He could also be raw and human when he needed to be, and for the first time, actually made me FEEL for the character. And he has this massive booming powerhouse voice to boot.

- During Vor Dem Schloss, he was very intent on Alfred, standing right up close to him and wrapping his cloak around his shoulders. He also did a lovely elegant gesture where he traced the outline of Alfred’s face with his fingertips. Tom was reacting so well to him, the two just played off each other beautifully throughout the whole scene, just this constant push and pull, like there was a magnetic force between them - brilliant stuff. That chemistry, I Am Here For It.

- When he was talking about Die Fledermaus, he went: “Genial! (deadpan sarcasm, staring straight out into the audience) ...Ich war gefangen.” Ouch :)

- During Einladung, he examined the planks of Sarah’s door and ran his fingers over them in a mocking sort of way when he sang the word ‘sicherheit’ - like he was sneering at Chagal’s efforts and how feeble/useless they were.

- During Totale Finsternis, he did something very interesting; every time he turned away from Sarah, he seemed to be secretly struggling with himself, not from thirst, but almost as though he was overwhelmed by the sin he was committing, and feeling some measure of conflict over it? He’d reach towards her, and then shake his head and pull back at the last minute, and turn away from her with this broken expression and put a hand to his heart. Finally, at the very end of the song, when he turned to face her and saw she’d bared her throat - his face went entirely blank, cold and decisive, like he’d made up his mind in that moment. Such an interesting take on the number, turning it into a moral dilemma for Krolock even as he’s drawing Sarah into his web!

- During Tanzaal, at the very beginning when he first appeared at the top of the stairs, he greeted the retinue of vampires with a German word I couldn’t catch, and then held out a hand in Herbert’s direction, and announced “Sohn!” with great solemnity and I absolutely loved it :’) all the family Krolock feels.

- He had so much adorable interaction with Herbert throughout the rest of the number, it warmed my heart. They would laugh together and Herbert tapped his shoulder when Sarah entered the room, then leant over to say something to him and they grinned together like two gothic super-villains, it was AMAZING. When Sarah came down the stairs and revealed her full dress, Krolock glanced back at Herbert and raised his eyebrows, like he was saying “See? Told you she was something.” and it was the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen a Krolock do.

- When Alfred almost collided with him at the end of the minuet, he reached out a hand and sort of flicked/stroked Alfred’s open fingertips with one of his nails. It was so creepy and menacing, like Alfred was a mouse on a cat’s claw.

ALFRED (Tom van der Ven)

- Mixed feelings on Tom’s Alfred. I found his first performance dull as dishwater, he had this odd vacant expression for about 50% of the show and it was maddening how bland he made Alfred, even though his chemistry with Sarah and Krolock was fantastic. But! Low and behold! His second performance was much better: more reactive, more expressive, more everything. He brought the character to life, at least in most scenes, and won me over against all the odds.

- I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but oh my word, he is the absolute cutest of cute Alfreds. If him and Sergey ever starred in Tanz together, the theatre would implode from sheer cuteness overload. He’s so small and slender with these big wide innocent eyes, you just want to hug him every time he walks onstage. He also puts on an oddly plaintive high-pitched voice for Alfred, which I found ??? initially, but I do think it works with his performance. Also: my relatives said his accent was distracting, but I didn’t notice.

- I love, love, love how truly sincere and ardent he plays Alfred, during any interaction with Sarah. Wirklich Sehr Nett was a real love-at-first-sight moment for him: he spoke so softly to Sarah, he was tentative and gentle, but so genuine. He clearly meant every single word he said, and he gazed at her like she was the sun and moon and stars. My heart, it hath feelings.

- Another Sarah-related thing that he kept up through the entire show: whenever he was singing about Sarah, thinking about Sarah, even remembering Sarah in Ein Guter Tag (“Heut oder nie finde ich zu ihr!”) or Der Gruft (“Denk an Chagal’s Tocher!”) - he got this dorky, dreamy, crooked half-smile and gazed off into the distance like he’d been momentarily transported to Heaven itself and oh my gosh that smile could melt the coldest heart I swear...

- During Tanzaal, he didn’t recognise the Professor at first and just stood awkwardly beside him for a bit...before doing a double take, like “Oh Professor, it’s only you!” which was ever so cute. Then during his little step-toe dance across the stage, he picked his feet up SUPER HIGH like he was trying extra hard to be a Fancy Vampire and it made me giggle so much.

- Any Krolock/Alfred shippers in the house must have been having a field day, because he was so FOCUSSED on Krolock during Vor Dem Schloss, I don’t think he took his eyes off him for a moment. He’d take little stumbling steps towards him like he couldn’t help being drawn in, but then he’d shrink away and sort of ‘hunch’ in on himself in defence when Krolock came close. But when Krolock came right up behind him and shadowed him with his cloak (“Ich lehr dich was es heißt zu leben”), Tom actually turned his head over his shoulder and tilted his face up to gaze at Krolock, VERY reminiscent of Totale Finsternis (paralells!!!!! my favourite thing!!!!!) which was just awesome.

- Der Gruft was a highlight of both shows, Tom was legitimately hilarious with perfect comic timing, but still so sincere that it broke my heart. When he dropped the hammer, he gazed out at the audience in total horror for a few seconds, before squeaking “Ich kann das nicht” in this tiny high-pitched voice that made the audience laugh so much. Then he delivered “...Aber ich kan dass troztdem nicht!” even higher and squeakier and the audience laughed again and a lady near me went awwww, because it was just so pitiful and sweet.

- I also liked that he went to stake Herbert’s coffin first, out of complete instinct, before the Professor called him back. Interesting that he would consider Herbert most dangerous on a purely subconscious level, even before the events of Wenn Liebe.

- During Draussen Ist Freiheit, when Sarah booped his nose with her finger, he blinked and raised his own hand to touch his nose in wonder, like “Oh, she nose-booped me :3” and it was just. so. freaking. adorable.

- HE TRIED TO KISS SARAH AT THE END OF DRAUSSEN, A PROPER KISS ON THE LIPS, MY BRAVE SON...and he mirrored the gesture in the Draussen Reprise as well, right at the climax of the song, he went for a big sweeping kiss right before Sarah bit him. My heart, it hurts. #GiveAlfredHisFirstKiss2k17.

- He also had a fantastic reaction to the bite. He was choking and lolling his head, jerking from side to side and crying out but not quite screaming; he made it believable that the Professor would never hear :(

- His voice has improved, he belted out the latter half of Fuer Sarah with all the warmth and passion in the world. He had a huge grin on his face, and after the end of the song, he let out his breath and collapsed back against the bed, like The Emotion had just overwhelmed him completely <3

- During Wenn Liebe, his delivery of “Ich zittere niiiiieeeeeee!” was hilarious, his voice was so squeaky and he drew out the last vowel like pleeease noooo.

- He spent the whole dance with Herbert going ‘oof!’ and ‘ah!’ and brought out the protective mother bear in me, because he’s such a delicate guy and needs to be Handled With Care but alas, this is not a concept Herbert understands...

- One acting choice I will never understand from Tom: his very mild, bland facial expressions during certain scenes where the focus isn’t placed chiefly on Alfred, e.g. the whole Chagal-vampire-staking sequence and Wenn Liebe. It’s almost like he doesn’t think anyone will be watching him, during these scenes? But I find it very distracting. For example, when he and the Professor discovered Chagal was missing, he looked...vaguely surprised, rather than shocked/terrified. And during Wenn Liebe, most of the time he’d just stare blankly out into the audience, even when when Kiryll mock-kissed him or declared his love. I think Alfred’s reactions are a HUGE part of what makes these scenes work, and it feels like something is missing without them.

HERBERT (Kiryll Zolygin)

- Kiryll was fine, but he wasn’t my kind of Herbert. He was cold, vain and predatory. He strutted around the stage like a peacock, smoothing his hair back and sticking his chin up and posing just like his father. Very refined, very confident, very intimidating; definitely the Graf’s son through and through. There was nothing amusing about his Herbert, he was cool and prowling and Wenn Liebe played like a sinister game of cat-and-mouse.

- He was also hard to read at times; his expressions were oddly closed-off and there were times when I honestly didn’t know what Herbert was supposed to be thinking/feeling. When he saw Alfred for the first time, he simply looked steadily at him, his face smooth and expressionless. Even throughout Wenn Liebe, he didn’t seem very besotted with Alfred, just amused - which made his groping extra-creepy and his declaration of love seem more ironic than sincere.

- Speaking of ironic, can someone tell this guy it’s okay to cosy the heck up to Tom when they’re dancing because I swear he was keeping about 3 feet of space between their chests and idk why Herbert von Krolock would ever keep Alfred at such a chaste, safe, heterosexual distance from himself...

- He had the sweetest, most delicate, most Herberty-y giggle I have ever heard in my life, it was perfect and made me smile every time I heard it.

- During Vor Dem Schloss, he did this amazing piece of catwalk nonsense in front of Alfred, striding back and forth like “yes admire me human, behold my glory” whilst Tom stared in bewilderment. My poor son, so confused :)

- He cracked appallingly in Carpe Noctem, both nights. I physically winced. The second time I saw him, he also broke off one of his notes way too early, which was obvious to everyone because Magda held hers perfectly. Poor guy.

- During Wenn Liebe, he mocked-kissed Alfred in the middle of the dance, but Tom didn’t react at all, and I felt bad for him because that’s actually quite a daring thing to attempt, but Tom’s lack of reaction made the moment fall flat.

- This is a bit yikes but I have to mention it: he very slowly and obviously licked his lips whilst watching Alfred run away into the audience, which definitely takes the jackpot for Creepiest Herbert Gesture Ever.

- During Tanzaal, he came down to the front of the stage and looked RIGHT DOWN AT ME THE AUDIENCE and sneered down at us like we were all Mere Peasants who were unworthy of his presence. I actually shrank back in my seat a bit, it was incredibly intimidating!

- One VERY interesting addition: he deliberately turned around and watched Alfred dragging his Ewigkeit vampire off-stage to steal his costume. He didn’t react much, just gazed after Alfred like "Hmmm..." - but it was interesting nonetheless, I’ve never seen a Herbert do that before.

SARAH (Anja Wendzel)

- Both my Sarahs were fantastic, but Anja truly did steal my heart. Bursting with energy and emotion, radiating chemistry with anyone she shared the stage with, and her belt was to die for (plus the sweetest, prettiest head voice too).

- She was such a SULTRY Sarah! I couldn’t believe how flirtatious and sensual she was with Alfred during Wirklich, it was almost too much to watch, and Tom’s Alfred was a complete wreck by the end of it :’) she was also very teasing during the bathtub scene in Act 2, waggling her finger and leaning in towards him when she talked about having one dance free. Poor Alfred.

- During Draussen, she also did this hilarious thing at the beginning of the song: she’s tiptoeing around outside, and suddenly Alfred starts belting “UNTER DIESEM DAAAACH” and she panics and gestures frantically like “nonono shhhhh SSSHHHH!!!!!” and it was so fresh and absolutely hilarious :)

- During Red Boots Ballet, she’d gaze off into space and move in perfect unison with her dance double, lifting her arms a bit or swaying backwards and forwards, basically play-acting the entire dance sequence going on behind her.

- During Gebet, she did something so beautiful, it moved me almost to tears. When Rebecca started singing, she froze in place and her face lit up with recognition, and she whispered “Mama!” so softly. Then she unfolded her shawl, knelt down to pray, but as she prayed, she was shaking her head and trembling and fighting back tears, and finally she couldn’t stop them any longer, and she stopped praying and started sobbing - actually, properly sobbing. It was almost like she was grieving the life/family she was leaving behind. And then as the song built and built, she stopped crying and got this new expression of strength and determination, like she’d finished her mourning, and now she was ready to make her move and start her new life, and finally by the end of the number, she was belting out the final notes with so much passion, her voice was exploding off the stage in front of us, and it was breathtaking.

SARAH (Maureen Mac Gillavry)

- This woman had a belt that could rival any Elphaba, and her Sarah was so vivacious and likeable, I think she made the entire audience fall in love with her alongside Alfred, which is my very favourite kind of Sarah tbh.

- She ADORED Alfred, she seemed so giggly and awww over him during their interactions together. Even during Draussen, she clearly still thought he was sweet, she bopped him on the nose and it was simultaneously super cute and a bit patronising all at once - such an effective little gesture!

- She also made me tear up when Chagal was beating her, she full-on sobbed and cried out at the top of her voice, and then begged him with clasped hands. It was very upsetting, the most harrowing rendition of the scene that I’ve ever watched, she was so raw and desperate in that moment, you just knew you’d do anything to escape if you were in her shoes.

PROFESSOR (Victor Peterson)

- This guy was was...argh. Not my cup of tea. A very unsympathetic Professor, he came off as plain selfish and annoying. His self-obsession was unbearable in Wahrheit, there was nothing endearing about it at all, he was so shrill and simply came across as obnoxious and over-the-top, like he wanted the whole world to worship him. And half of his jokes didn't land, I swear the audience laughed more at Tom during Der Gruft than they ever did at him.

- His relationship with Alfred was downright cruel in places. He pushed him around and hissed at him really aggressively and pinched his cheek and gosh it was just Not A Good Time. No wonder Tom struggled to show any kind of real devotion to this guy; I usually live for the Professor/Alfred dynamic because it’s so heartwarming, but this was...gosh. This made me almost (almost!) want Alfred to leave him and serve Krolock & Son instead.

- His voice was brilliant. I cannot deny this, it was brilliant. He handled the falsetto sections with absolute confidence and every note was perfect.

MAGDA (Sara Jane Checchi)

- Magda belted stunningly twice...and belted badly twice. I think perhaps she had a bit of a cold, as she seemed to be straining on some of the high notes.

- That being said, her portrayal was wonderful in every other regard; she was so sweet, so cautious and observant, and seemed to really like Alfred. She spent the whole of Knoblauch trying to get his attention, and seemed to find his ogling very endearing and sweet. Strange, because the patrons of the inn also ogle her like crazy, and grab her skirts etc. which she clearly hated. Maybe she saw Alfred’s ogling as more involuntary and therefore more innocent? (though tbh Tom could make robbing a bank look innocent, so maybe that’s moot point)

- She also gave Chagal a few little smiles during Nie Gesehen which was very unexpected, almost like she was disapproving of his behaviour on principle, but deep down thought he was quite amusing. Interesting take on that relationship.

- During Wahrheit, she and Rebecca were signalling back and forth, across the yard; Rebecca wanted her to eaves-drop on Alfred and the Professor whispering together, but Magda couldn’t make out the words as she was too far away. I love the idea of these two characters being in ‘cahoots’ so to speak.

CHAGAL (Jerzy Jeszke)

- I want to mention that Chagal was not only hilarious, but also slightly less lecherous than other performances I’ve seen. His voice was also fantastic, a very strong full sound, which made his more honourable moments (e.g. “Ich bringt sie wieder!”) surprisingly impactful. Good job, my dude, good job.

#tanz der vampire #dance of the vampires #tanzblr #the fearless vampire killers #bal vampirov #vampires #musicals #germany #merina rambles #save #calcu-lass #theadventuresofacatholicnerdling #I finally wrote The Thing

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joyous-art · 6 years

Text

Hero or Villain?

“This is torture,” the villain panted. “Why are you doing this?”

“Taking your powers is the only way to keep you - and the city - safe.” A pause. “I’m sorry.”

“My powers," a shaking breath. "My powers are the only thing keeping me alive.”

The hero paused again, hand poised on the lever, ready to pull it a fourth time; five short zaps and it would be over, with less pain than one long one. Sweat dripped from the villain’s brow and his breath came in ragged gasps; his expression seemed desperate. It wasn’t unusual for heroes to defeat their counterparts, either by reforming them, stripping their powers, or, in extreme cases, killing them. Those who chose to kill were called the Fallen: heroes that became villains.

“Dis, please.”

“.Don’t call me that… It’s Androidis.”

A quiet statement, nearly lost in the low buzz of machinery. The villain knew their name, a name that came about when a kid at the children’s hospital noted that their prosthetic legs made the hero look like a cyborg; Dis was his nickname for them. A self-created name for a self-made hero.

“Please” his voice cracked as he spoke, “Don’t do this”

“I have to Arc,” their grip tightened on the handle.

Arc. His nickname, a shortening of Arcbolt.

“You would really kill me?”

Tears began forming in Dis’s metallic grey eyes and pain snuck across their face. Arc had been their nemesis since the pair were kids, shadowing their parents during conflicts; him, a born villain, and them, a tech wiz who’d used their disability (their lack of legs and stub of a left arm) as an opportunity to become the hero they dreamed to be. Now, here they both were, in their late twenties; Dis with the upper hand and faced with a decision that could put an end to their rivalry.

“You’re lying,” an accusation, “You’re lying so I won’t pull it again.”

“I swear to you I’m not.”

He’d lied to them before, often to get out of conflict where Dis had the upper hand, but his tone sounded genuine; they hated it. They hated that, over all the years they’d spent foiling Arc’s plots, they’d developed feelings for him.

“How can I trust you?”

“What?”

“HOW CAN I TRUST YOU?”

Dis’s voice rang through the facility, their anger and confusion echoing off the cement walls, rattling the glass tube Arc stood in. Tears had begun flowing freely down their cheeks and Arc ran his zip-tied hands through his golden hair, holding back his own tears. His reflection was mirrored back at him by the thin layer of water on the floor of the case, preventing him from using his powers without hurting himself. He chuckled; Dis really had thought of everything. They knew him too well, feigning injury, playing to his softer side so they could get close enough to knock him out; he didn’t even know the location of this place. He drops his hands again and meets their eyes with his own electric amber gaze.

“I wouldn’t lie to you about death”

He watches Dis’s expression soften from anger to pain, tears still steadily streaming, as he undoes the zipper of his suit slightly, pulling the neck down to a place high on the left side of his chest. A faint glow could be seen and there was a small click as the mechanism rotated itself, as it did every twelve hours; Arc winced as it turned. It was unmistakably a pacemaker. Dis lets go of the lever and clasping the one human hand over their mouth, covering it with the metal hand.

“Electricity has the tendency to stop your heart.”

He swallows hard and briefly shuts his eyes.

“Remember how I was missing for a while? I had surgery because my heartbeat was too slow… My power was killing me. Now, with this, the current through my body is the only thing letting me live.” His voice was hoarse from holding back tears.

Dis drops to their knees as he does the zipper back up and kneels in the small puddle of water, pressing himself against the glass. Suddenly it all made sense; his mysterious, year long, disappearance; his return as more of a nuisance prankster than a minor threat; his decrease in major villainous plots. Dis had wanted to strip Arc of his powers because he was annoying; they had bigger things to deal with than a minor villain plotting things more for shits and giggles than domination. He’d refused to join the hero side so they figured this was the next best option, but they’d nearly killed him.

“Androidis?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Arc feels his heart lurch at the sight of them on all fours; his heroic counterpart reduced to tears over him.

“I didn’t think it would matter. Hero’s aren’t supposed to care about villains.”

“…. It’s too late for that.”

“… I know.”

Dis sits up, wiping the tears off their face and meeting the softened eyes of their opponent; their villain. They laugh and run the mecha hand through their greyish white hair; a trait they’d been born with.

“You have no idea how many times I considered becoming a villain just so we wouldn’t have to fight.”

Arc looked taken aback. He hadn’t even thought they would consider such a thing; it hadn’t been a one-way train of thought.

“… Really?”

“Yes!” Dis laughed the word, “… I would in a heartbeat if you asked.”

Arc suddenly slumps forward, letting his hair dip in the water on the floor. Dis internally panics until he dramatically flips his hair, spraying water across the glass walls.

“ON TOP OF THE WORLD, ON TOP OF IT ALL.”

He belts out the song in his scratchy voice until the two of them break into gut splitting laughter.

“Yo-u’re an awful s-inger.”

“You-you’ve known me for o-over twenty years you sho-uld know that by now.”

As the laughter fades Dis notices his hands pressing down on the spot where his pacemaker was.

“Are you ok?”

Their voice was warm and the look in their eyes was soft, swirling hues of grey drawing him in like they always did.

“Yeah, I just haven’t laughed like that in awhile.”

Arc could’ve sworn his heart skipped a beat when he saw them smile, he’d nearly forgotten what it looked like. Lying in that hospital bed over two years ago, all he’d wanted to see was that smile. A silence drew out between them as they both sat facing each other, Arc not caring that he was sitting in a puddle.

“I can’t ask you to become a villain.”

The words hung in the air between them, threatening something neither of them wanted to think about.

“Why?” A plea.

He knew that all he had to say was two words, ‘join me’, and Dis would, but he couldn’t; not when their mother had raised them to see the good in the world. Despite being born with half a left arm, and even after the accident that took their legs, Dis could find the silver lining in almost everything. It pained him to think of what might happen if they did become a villain; he couldn’t bear to imagine the hope fade from their eyes if they saw his world, his reality.

“Because I can’t see you eternally unhappy. I need that smile, ‘Dis.”

His voice was just above a whisper, just loud enough for Dis to hear. It was the friendly voice he’d used about a month ago when they had crossed paths in the grocery store; he’d leaned in and whispered that he was planning something. It made them shiver.

“Why won’t you become a hero? You’d be great at it and-and we-”

They stop mid-sentence, the realization of their selfishness dawning on them; the fact that he wasn’t meant to be a hero and they weren’t made to be a villain. Arc looked down at his zip-tied hands, weighing the impact of the three words he’d been wanting to say for ages.

“I love you, Dis.”

There was a second of silence before a response.

“Aw, how sweet.”

Arc looks up and springs to his feet at the scene before him; someone held

Dis by the throat. The person’s legs appeared spectral like they weren’t completely there, but the grip they had on Dis’s neck was all too real; the hero clawed at their hand, gasping for breath.

“LET THEM GO!”

Arc’s voice echoed like thunder off the walls as the figure seemed to materialize from the shadows, sapphire blue hair flowing behind them.

“Ethereal.”

He spits the name and throws himself against the glass causing her to laugh.

“My, my, you are quite the vicious chihuahua when you’re determined.”

“YOU BITCH, STAY AWAY FROM THEM!”

She grins, displaying sharpened fangs as Arc bangs against his prison, trying desperately to break it. Ethereal was a Fallen. He knew that Dis had graduated from Solar Guard, an upstate hero academy, with her half a decade before her fall. News reports from a couple years ago said that she’d killed her villain counterpart and had begun targeting heroes; heroes like Dis.

“Oh, Androidy, you’re so lucky! Your little villain here has so much potential; unlike my old one. Too bad yours has gone soft.”

Arc throws his weight at the glass again and it cracks just slightly; Ethereal tightens her grip on Dis in response.

“Although, he seems quite determined to kill you despite his weakness.”

Dis meets his eyes and Arc stops fighting at the sight of the fear on their face. Ethereal laughs again before pitching Dis at the ground, hard. They land on their knees with a crash, coughing and rubbing their neck; bits of metal scattered across the concrete floor from the impact.

“Dis, c'mon you can do this! You gotta fight!”

Ethereal forces them to sit on their knees and look up at him. There’s a sudden, stinging pain as he realizes that their bionic limbs weren’t glowing like they were supposed to; they’d been deactivated. Tears stream down Dis’s face and they scream as Ethereal takes a handful of their snowy hair and yanks them upward.

“LET THEM GO! WHY’RE YOU DOING THIS?!”

She finds the desperation in his voice amusing as she displays his, now powerless, hero counterpart.

“Don’t you see Arcbolt? I’m doing you a favour; without them to stop you, you can reach your full potential.”

Ethereal snaps her fingers, sparking blue bolts of lightning that dance at her fingertips. Arc watches helplessly, banging on the glass, as she holds the sparks close to Dis, knowing that the energy burst could kill them.

“Any last words old friend?”

“I love you too, Arc.”

Ethereal laughs maniacally and presses her hand to Dis’s neck, the electric shock intensified by their metal limbs; they fall to the floor.

“NOOO!”

The building shakes as Arc feels anger and pain rise in his chest. It didn’t matter that he was standing in a puddle; he was going to stop Ethereal.

“Wait, what’re yOU DOING - I HELPED YOU!”

Fear creeps into her voice as Arc channels his energy, his hair standing on end from the friction. Ethereal wasn’t going to die from this, he knew, but it would put her out, hopefully, long enough for the authorities to arrive. This was going to hurt him more; the shock would break the glass and the water would magnify it, likely stopping his pacemaker and, in turn, killing him. He didn’t care.

“This is for Androidis.”

Her eyes go wide with fear; it’s the last thing he sees of her before releasing the bolt.

When the flash clears, Arc finds himself, crouching on all fours, in water and broken glass; his vision was blurry. Ethereal’s ghostly figure lay off in the shadows; Dis still laid motionless, not far from the machine’s switchboard. He stands and stumbles through the shrapnel toward them, hoping there was a chance that they were alive. He sits down heavily, leaning against the control panel for support, and very carefully pulls Dis into his lap. He presses a set of fingers to their neck and counts, praying for a miracle.

Thump- thump. Their heart was still beating and relief washed over him fast enough to make him dizzy. Arc could tell that the pacemaker had stopped working; his heart rate was steadily dropping and sleep began creeping up on him. He sighs deeply and hugs Dis to his chest.

“I’m sorry I won’t be here when you wake up,” tears stream down his face into their soft white hair, “I hope you find a villain worthy of you… I hope you save them like you did me.”

Sirens can be heard in the distance; the authorities saw the blast like he’d planned. Ethereal was going to be put away for the murder; he was just another victim. The city wouldn’t care about a softie villain anyway. Dis sighs and presses against his chest in their sleep; he smiles as the world starts to fade. He’d always said he was going to die happy.

It wasn’t unusual for villains to sacrifice themselves for their counterparts. Uncommon yes, but not unheard of. Dis had woken up in the hospital, their mother at their side, and started rebuilding their limbs when they were discharged. They’d heard about how the authorities had found them, wrapped in Arcbolt’s arms; it was on every news channel and in every newspaper: Villain rescues his counterpart, catches a murderess in the process. He was hailed as a hero, but Dis knew he was neither hero nor villain; he fell somewhere in the middle. It wasn’t unusual for heroes to attend the funerals of the villains who had saved them, Dis didn’t. Without Arc causing trouble they found no need to wear their ‘hero’ prosthetics, choosing to wear the unmodified ones when they returned to the hospital a week later; the first time since their discharge.

“Room six eighteen, heron.”

“Thank you.”

Dis still wasn’t used to that term; heron. It was a title assigned to the greatest heroes and treated with the utmost respect; they still wondered why they’d received the honour when it was Arc who deserved it.

Room six eighteen had a large window that let in the midday sun. The door was open and natural light illumined short blonde hair as they entered. Arc turned his head, amber eyes lighting up at the sight of them, the heart monitor showing a momentary spike that made him wince.

“Shit, you’re gonna kill me with that smile.”

Dis chuckles and walks over to him; they sit on the bed as he turns back to the window, the entire city stretching out before them in all its glory.

“Look at it, Dis. I’m gonna conquer all of it someday.”

Dis laughs again and shakes their head, both aware that he never would; he had no desire to.

“Sure you will, Sparky.”

A new endearing nickname; a kiss on the forehead.

#writing #my writing #short story #writers on tumblr #hero vs. villain #pholis

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secondscratch17 · 7 years

Text

I’m cheesy af so not sorry if y’all are lactose intolerant:

In 2011, the summer right before my senior year of high school, I got to spend a few days with my cousin Courtney in California. Courtney is the polar opposite of me; she’s the popular cheerleader, exuberant, bubbly, but has a really small comfort zone of a circle when it comes to how extreme her tastes are. So when she said to me, “I’m making you watch Teen Wolf with me,” I instantly scoffed. This show is called Teen Wolf? I thought. It’s going to be so ridiculous and contrived and cheesy. Courtney doesn’t like dark, gory, or scary, or anything of that sort, but this was all the way back during Season 1, in which Teen Wolf was not dark or gory or scary. I was already preparing to roll my eyes, but to say that I was pleasantly surprised was an understatement. We’d missed the pilot episode and started with episode 2 of Season 1, and I totally was readying myself for all things cringe-worthy, but instead I was instantly drawn in by the inclusion of mythology (which I always had a fascination with), impending darkness, and above all its humor. I was so taken aback by how likable the characters were, despite them being young and naive teenagers. The one thing that sealed the deal? They played a My Chemical Romance song in the episode, and my inner emo kid was over the moon (no pun intended). That was it. I loved it.

I watched all of season 1 on my own, all the while screaming at Courtney my speculations of who I thought the Alpha was. I even made my mom watch it with me, and by the last episode of the season I was more than hungry for the next. Here was a great show that had the perfect mix of everything--darkness, violence, folklore, romance, genuine relationships and bonds between the characters, villains that had depth, and above all an intriguing plot line. Season 2 was even better. I couldn’t believe how much it improved from the previous one, and I was so disappointed when Courtney told me that she had stopped watching because “It got too dark for me.” Fair, I guess, but the following seasons made this one look tame! My favorite character was Stiles, but I couldn’t help not to be enamored by Isaac. The best season, in my opinion was the third. I can remember watching the episode before the season 3A finale on my last night at home before leaving for Unity. I remember calling virgins “blood sacrifices” because of the plot events in Season 3, and at the time I still was one!

I can actually categorize events of my life and pair them with seasons of Teen Wolf. Season 3A, my favorite one, was during the summer where I was preparing myself for college. Season 3B, I remember, was during my second semester at Unity. I would have Skype dates with my friend Alyssa, who I had made binge watch with me Seasons 2 and 3. Derek was her favorite. At the time she was struggling with depression and seeing a counselor. I had wanted to help, and that scene where Scott goes with Stiles to get his scan for dementia really hit home for us, because we put ourselves in their shoes and we both knew that we would be there for each other in situations like that, just like they did. Season 4 was during that summer after my first year at Unity, when Daniel and I had to be long-distance then. I remember season 5 aired during the start of my senior year at Unity. This is now my second year out of college.

Teen Wolf opened my eyes to a lot of things because of the issues they touched on and expanded on: mental illness (specifically dementia), criminal justice, the police system, domestic violence, classic literature, and of course lacrosse. I really appreciated how inclusive they were to their cast and didn’t limit themselves to just white heterosexual actors. Teen Wolf broadened itself to showcase people of color and the LGBTQ community, both of which were welcomed graciously. Representation matters.

There’s something to be said and praised for when one can relate to things that don’t (or shouldn’t) exist. Despite a good majority of the cast portraying supernatural creatures, I related to the characters on a human level. Even the ones that weren’t. I never thought I would have commonalities with a kitsune, but I did because she was bumbling, clumsy, and unsure of her potential, just like me. I never thought I would relate to a beta werewolf, but I did because of his family struggles, insecurities, once-low confidence, and his unfaltering desire to please, just like me. I never thought I would share similarities to the son of a police sheriff, but I did because of his quick wit and second-to-none loyalty. These are supernatural creatures. Creations of folklore. A work of fiction. But I saw myself in so many of them and I put myself in their shoes and I felt for them and I understood them. And for the way they were adapted on screen, I felt like they understood me too.

I have made so many friendships just because of this show, in those moments of validating discovery we all know that make you say, “Oh my gosh, you watch _____ too? What did you think of--” People that I didn’t have anything common with before? We bonded over the show. And I’m grateful for it.

With all the unexpected twists, turns, let-downs, and accomplishments in life, it’s always comforting to have a constant. A solid, consistent hold or security. And during these past six years, Teen Wolf was one of my constants. There was always another new season to look forward to. There was always a new plot to scrutinize, always a new villain to hate. Teen Wolf was a constant in my evolution from this scared 17-year-old kid that had no idea where she was going into a 23-year-old adult that still has no idea where she is going, but is one step closer to getting there. So much has changed and at the same time, nothing has changed. But Teen Wolf was there for me.

I would like to thank the producers, directors, and writers of this show for their original vision and unique take on what was once just a cheesy 80′s movie. I also want to thank my cousin Courtney for bringing me into one hell of a supernatural journey, even though she abandoned me halfway. Thank you to everyone that’s sat with me and watched an episode and had to listen to my psychotic rants about it. Thank you to the crew and to the cast--new, old, major, minor, recurring, and permanent--for their strength and dedication to the project and to us fans. It paid off. And it shows. Thank you for your portrayal of these absolutely incredible and lovable characters. Even the bad guys that I wanted dead. Thank you for showing me that it’s okay to put your heart into things that should be fiction. Thank you for teaching me that I can believe in myself, no matter what. Thank you for teaching me that enemies can become allies, that “innocent until proven guilty” isn’t always effective, that trust is earned not automatically granted, and to always lend a hand to someone that needs it. Thank you for showing me that fangs and claws doesn’t make someone a monster, that humans can exist without a shred of humanity, and that it’s never too late to join the right side. Thank you for teaching me that there is no such thing as “impossible.”

Because “impossible” is exactly the word I would have used had someone told me that I’d still be invested in this show, six years later. So thank you, Teen Wolf. Thank you for all the times I have screamed at my television or laptop to the point where I’m worried that my neighbors would file a noise complaint, thank you for all the times you made me believe I was an FBI agent delving into folklore and re-analyzing every episode to predict the next one and was still knocked off my feet, thank you for all the times where I’ve almost ripped out my hair or brought my hands to my mouth in an attempt to stifle my shrieking, thank you for breaking my heart over and over again and touching every single one of my emotions, thank you for the buckets of tears, thank you for the endless laughter and the genius quotes that I still use today.

Thanks, Teen Wolf, for the most extraordinary six years I could have ever imagined. It’s so hard to say goodbye.

#teen wolf #cheesy #i mean like heaps of extra blue cheese #sorry not sorry

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stargazerinmoksha · 7 years

Quote

I heard a poet say the other day about how easy it was to write with a mask on, to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, if I hide the words good enough and toss away the keys to this lock, could you still find yourself if it’s so deep inside of my flaws? You love it when people write about you, especially if I’m doing the writing it seems. I don’t write about you much, so here I am. One last poem. And I give your eyes a solid peek with every letter, a silent whisper that says nothing, but if you pay attention to my lips it mouths an I love you each and every time when you catch me staring at you and I look away. I wonder when I see you staring, do you do the same when I turn away my head? I love to write, but you’ll wonder if it’s about you, you, you, you, you or her, her, her, her, her or her. It’s about you. This is about you. You know who you are. In the first conversation we ever had, you asked if my favorite color was red before even getting into my head. And those eyes that peer, that leer, that steer straight into mine, we haven’t met, we have met, we haven’t loved, we have loved, we haven’t fallen, we have fallen, we haven’t fucked, we have fucked, we haven’t broken into, we have broken into, we haven’t written, we have written, we haven’t been, we have been, we haven’t talked, we have talked, we speak for five minutes and I feel like I’ve known you for several lifetimes and attention is such a trickling thing as it falls from my eyes and into yours– we haven’t been anything before these five minutes, but I’ve made love to your every way before we knew, before you knew, before I knew, we were kinda fucked. We made sure to not get too close, we made sure that it never happened, it stays as it stays, it says as it says, and one day, we’ll never be. She says I could never date a writer. And as ironic as it is, we’re both writers, so as enamored and as pulled to one another as we are, we’ll think about it when the sun decides to go for another eternal nap, and when the moon finally decides to give those love letters back with different people holding each cloud up, with separate lovers holding us, we’ll think about it until it hurts. And we’ll do it for the sake of falling in love, the art of the what if’s while you’re young and stupid, it goes like this. You are something that casts more deadly spells than a dark lord’s wand, that bends more trees than the wind during hurricane season, that breaks more often than a sidewalk during the heat of summer love, that admires more deeply than artists comparing themselves to Van Gogh, that swells more quickly than a mosquito bite because you forgot bug spray although it never works because they too find you irresistible from blood type to skin, that itches worse than eating something you’re allergic too, it’s often our favorite foods too, that stretches more than the horizon when the sun asks the moon to come out and play always, always, slow dance to that one song from now on, that sings as beautiful as the Mona Lisa when we try to figure out her smile, that still to this day, I choose to not talk to you because yes it’s true, I’m a little in love with you, and yes it’s true, we won’t ever exist at the same time, too many obstacles and yes it’s true, we live for poetics the modern romantics trying to be antiques inside of a masterpiece, we never knew how to love properly, so we tried to pave way inside of a kaleidoscope– if we ever fell in love, it would be a bad trip, like overdosing on lsd because you thought that you were a cactus and spines started to grow out of you, yeah that kind of fucked up. We would be messed up, but I think in some lowkey happy offset universe, we would’ve been happy about it. She talks to me about poetry like I invented it, the truth is I write to feel something, isn’t that why we do anything? These words have been written before, I’m just following footsteps, I’m just another person trying to write down my wrongs, am I wrong for it? And it was one of those days, some strange scene from an anime when the sun is setting and they’re walking across a metal bridge as friends and he comments on the days that go by without a second thought, and the water is running and she says that you can’t skateboard down slopes because you’d get in trouble, rules were meant to be broken, and if you don’t break them, you can bend them just right. And it’s that kind of day, where bookstores mean more to us than clubs. Neon soul, would you care to stay here as you are for just a little while longer? She speaks about poetry like it’s the only thing that matters. He utters back wildfire spreads wildfire. I don’t know why he said it, but it just felt right, right? And the day will end, but not before you walked us through two art museums and there’s always a juicy secret near the end of us whispering to each other about other people and what they’re up to. In this fairy tale, they don’t fall in love. In this poem, they don’t get together. In this life, they’re just friends. In this heart, they’ll be just two lost souls stuck on a bench, I’m a little tired, I’ll just rest my head on those shoulders, and I must tell you, that you look better without make up. There will a day when this is just a faded gem you’ll find in your brain. There will be a brief moment when you’ll remember those five hours, and it all started because of those five minutes when you asked if we have met before, and I know that I write long pieces with very shitty grammar and not enough elaborate metaphors, but the thing about my writing and why it’s so damn relatable may be because I write with a cold heart that just wants to feel warm, we all need that day. That day, that’ll indefinitely change us in ways that we may not be able to comprehend today, tomorrow or even by next year. A day that explains, a day that demands to be listened to and just like how a chest needs a careful set of ears to listen to its heartbeat, I’m glad that I gave a listen to yours. And maybe I’ll move out of this city where people do the same shit every fucking day and pretend that it’s okay, that this is it. We’ll work until we’re grey, get that 401k go on vacations while we’re fragile with an old passion for pastries, cheap hotels and some famous beach that all of the old people go to. There’s got to be more to life, you mentioned that a few times. This was just a glimpse to what could be with someone else, and I’m always holding onto your hands just a little too tight because I don’t want you to let go and it’s okay because today will end, but not in this memory. In this memory, we’re young forever. In this memory, we’re breaking every rule just a little bit. In this memory, I write down every little detail because I don’t give a fuck. In this memory, I play a slow dance with you until the moon finally explains itself to us in entirety. I’m full because of you, I’m empty because of you. In this memory, the metaphors never run out and the poetry isn’t just about love, it’s not about sadness anymore, it’s about clawing my way out of my thoughts and back into a moment where I’m not so depressed and I’m cracking jokes right next to you all the way down Central Park and in this memory, there’s a small chance that you could’ve been more than just someone who showed my heart around New Orleans. In this memory, I remember you as my pretty crimson. And if this memory shall ever fade, I’ll fade with it too because the more we write, the more we are, if I am what I eat and I am what I do, I’ll eat the yellow paint and write until it’s dark and if I’m ever blind and no longer the person that I was when I walked across that bridge with you– at least it’s an ending that I can dwell on. Poets write poetry, clouds use rain as a disguise, but this writer is just wearing another mask and tomorrow isn’t any different. I am the wildfire, and I’ll spread in many directions. I just hope that we never burn down together and if we do, that wouldn’t be so bad, right?

Pretty Crimson

#spilled ink #poetry #words #excerpts from a book i'll never write #mine #pretty crimson

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