I've got the @ghouljams Fae!au brainrot, and I needed to write more about my OC Mal. This time, featuring ghoul's OC Love, and Fae!Ghost. Thank you so much for letting me borrow them! I hope I do them justice, and they're not too out of character. While it's implied that Mal already knows Witch (I think their friendship started well before this) I thought this was an interesting way to bring Mal into the darlings and 141's sphere of influence.

I hope you enjoy!

Mal stood at the far wall of their crafting space, studying their old leather bound notebook. It was an account of every project they’d ever undertaken here at the shop, filled to the brim with notes. Currently, it was open to the last commission on their list for this quarter, someone wanting a garment that would fill them with confidence after a particularly difficult time in their life. Before them stood several cones of yellow and orange cotton that they had dyed with this intention in mind. Now to decide what it would become. Mal closed their eyes, imagining the customer in their head, how their shoulders had hunched and neck sunk involuntarily. They needed something to straighten up, bring some height back into their frame. A jacket would do them nice. 

Mal took the cones to their warping board, a square frame with pegs hanging on the wall, and readied the yarn. Before they began Mal closed their eyes once again, taking deep breaths and pressing their bare feet firmly into the floor as they grounded themselves. Once they were settled, they imagined in their mind what their customer would look like in this new jacket. How their face would be full of warmth and joy, how much taller they would stand, the swagger and spring in their step as they walked. Mal let the feeling wash over them, filling themselves up with the giddy confidence. Full of energy, Mal began the warping process, tying an orange yarn to one peg and wrapping it around sequential pegs until it was as long as their fabric needed to be, then doubling back and following that same path back. 

Maintaining this confident headspace Mal continued on, occasionally switching between colors to create a shimmering ombre across the warp. This warp will act as the vertical threads when they weave the fabric later on tonight. Already they could see the gentle halo radiating off of the threads as the intent gets buried deeper and deeper. By the end it’ll be radiant like the sun. 

The slight jostle of someone attempting to open the front door made Mal accidentally skip a peg, breaking them out of their concentration. Immediately the halo of the current length they were working on dimmed, forcing them to backtrack and do their best to bring themselves back into the confident headspace. They didn’t really care if someone was at the door, there was no reason for anyone to be there and thus no reason to give them the time of day. Pick up was always reserved for the last week of the month, and they hadn’t pulled aside the heavy curtains hanging from the gutters that prevented humans from seeing the shop, and warned Fae from entering without an invitation. No, those get pulled when Mal’s commission list was empty and ready for new customers. Which it wasn’t. 

The jostle returns again and only a well timed breath keeps the bubbling anger from making its way into the warp. They tied it off and stepped away with a sigh. They couldn’t afford to keep having their concentration disrupted by the mystery person at the door. 

Opening the door reveals a girl, smiling brightly, “Hey, I think your doors locked.”

“It’s not,” Mal replies. Not in the physical sense anyway. Witch’s wards are strong and clever like that. Although they will have to check up on the curtains outside. Nobody should have been able to find their shop with them pulled shut, although now there was a clear section that was pulled to the side where the girl seemingly forced her way through. Those damn Moth’s were probably nibbling on it again. 

The girl stares at them for a moment, as if expecting them to say more. Evidently the silence becomes too long as she presses on, “Aren’t you going to let me in?” 

“Why would you want in?”

“Because you’re a business? And I’d like to do business here?” The exasperated look on the girl's face is enough to set Mal’s teeth on edge. 

“Pushy aren’t you?”

“Yes. Now come on, I want to get something nice for my boyfriend and he’s going to pick me up any minute now.”

Something about the girl’s big, insistent eyes made Mal’s resolve crack, “Fine. You’ve caught me in an indulgent mood.” Mal turned around, walking back towards the counter, “What are you thinking of?”

When the girl didn’t immediately follow they turned around again, only to see her seemingly stuck mid stride, foot unable or unwilling to touch the hardwood floor of the storefront. Curious. The girl seemed perfectly human to them, but looks could be deceiving. 

“You’re welcome in, for this transaction,” her foot fell with a solid thump, and she continued walking in as if nothing had happened.

“So I’d like to get something for my boyfriend.”

Mal settled in and flipped their notebook to a new page, “So you’ve said.”

“Yeah, well I know that he likes to cover up a lot, but recently his gloves have been falling apart and what with Winter coming up I don’t want his hands to be cold-”

As the girl talked, Mal kept a close eye on her chest, watching for any tethers that shone brighter than the others. Humans, and sometimes Fae, had a hard time deciding what their real intent was for a gift, and sifting through their tethers was always easier than getting it out of them through words. Except that the more this girl talked, the more her chest started to light up like a god damn christmas tree. She was tangled and pierced and snared on so many hooks it was almost distressing, and one in particular burned so bright it almost hurt Mal’s eyes to look at.

“Excuse me,” Mal interrupted her, “but may I?” they said, pointing towards the brightly glowing tether at the center of her chest. 

“Uh, sure,” she said, slightly confused but trusting all the same. 

Reaching out they gently snagged the tether with the tip of their pinky finger. Even with that small amount of contact all they could think of was LOVE LOVE LOVE. So much love, and passion, and desperation, and protectiveness. 

Within the next second, Mal’s ears popped as air that used to be in the space behind the girl forcibly vacated in favor of someone apparating there in its place. Mal stumbled back, eyebrows raised in shock as the absolutely massive fucker came into focus. Piercing brown eyes peered out through a pale white skull mask, with one hand wrapping protectively around the girl's chest and the other landing solidly on the table creating an effective barrier between them and Mal. 

“What’s wrong, Love?” The man's voice was deep, and although he was addressing the girl, (the capital L was obvious in his tone) his eyes never left Mal’s. 

“Well I was going to get you a surprise gift, but I guess that’s not happening anymore.”

“Why were they touching you.”

Mal straightened, “I received permission, if that is your concern. I was only attempting to see what her true intent was for this gift.” Despite the way he was glaring, Mal could tell this man didn’t think they were a threat, at least not physically.

On closer inspection the guys gloves did look as if they were threadbare, ready to fall apart if a stiff breeze came through. He was fae, no doubt about it, and even his human form commanded respect. Mal could see the shimmery effect of the fae’s obscura, hinting at a much larger and much more. . .sinister silhouette. They could do better, break up the outline of his body like camo on a soldier's fatigues, but something told them that he wouldn’t appreciate being upsold at the moment.

“And what was my intention?” Love looked almost giddy to know, leaning over the counter top with a manic grin on her face. 

Mal quickly looked between Love and the man, trying to gauge the pro’s and con’s of this whole interaction. 

“Go on,” he said. 

“Well, it seemed like Love here wanted to stake a claim on you. To possess and protect you as much as you do her.” 

Like a seesaw, Love rocked backwards into the man's embrace, wrapping her arms up around his neck and giggling, “Yeah, I guess I am a little obsessed with you.”

For once he looked a little bit out of his depth, and once again Mal almost had to shield their eyes from the sun that seemed to light up between the two. Jesus these two were co dependent as all hell. 

“So,” Mal said, desperate to get this conversation over with, “any design you want in particular?”

“Oh, right, I think his gloves should be dark black, with white details that look like finger and hand bones. And can you make them really warm and soft? Am I asking for too much? You’ll tell me if it’s too much right? Also-”

Mal dutifully took notes, not even attempting to get a word in edgewise as Love rambled on. Briefly looking up, Mal saw the masked man curled contentedly around and over top Love’s much smaller form like a mountain sized cat. It was hard to find him intimidating now that his eyes were full of love and adoration. 

What a strange pair indeed.

Need me more of that Hucow Malleus... and just Diasomnia in general, my favorite boys.

This was supposed to be short but woah boy, strap in because your dumb Hucow au (tone: affectionate) hooked me like a goddamn fish. I did not know I was horny for this. Some of it is requests, some personal headcannons/ideas/sacrificial offerings for your au.

Ummm, for the sake of recognizing me in the future, can I be assigned an anon emoji? IDK which one to pick, but if you're willing to select one based on my vibes, that's cool!

May I request how Mal and his handler's relationship kicked off? He isn't aggressive so I imagine his previous handlers felt intimidated or could just never find Malleus to perform handling duties! So Crowley just had to rotate through staff hoping to find a handler Mal is fond of. Or perhaps Mal chose his handler through a chance meeting...?

In the meantime, I imagine Lilia was a pseudo-handler for Mal but couldn't perform most of the duties due to their familial-platonic relationship. Handler duties seem really intimate.

(Speaking of that... Does the job come with a "you might get fucked by Hucows" disclaimer? Or is that JUST Crowley's farm? If humans and Hucows are equal, do the non-farm Hucows act mostly normal and the farm Hucows choose to lean into their more primal, horny side?)

Also not to be a simp but here's some more things my silly fangirl brain has thought up:

Imagine Malleus disappearing on his handler's days off because he's followed them home (with their permission, after pouting at them the whole day) and is enjoying a domestic weekend? Cooking home made meals for them, playfully doing a role-reversal where he is the "human's handler" which is mostly him insisting on doing chores, assisting with basic things like hair brushing, then being confused when he has to use technology to do things like "washing clothes" or "running the dish washer" or "turning on the radio." But altogether it's really wholesome because he wants to show his appreciation for his handler by doing for them what they do for him! Unfortunately, with how tall he is, a few holes do get poked into the cieling at your house.

Hucow Malleus who won't ever cross his handler's boundaries, but is very touch starved and needy, so he'll often make offers that involve physical touch and close proximity, then pout the rest of the day if you say no. Typically he just makes offers a little too soon. For example, after only a few weeks, offering to let his you stay in his personal quarters with him instead of the communal handler sleeping quarters. Lilia suggests he ask again after a few months. Malleus never stays sulking for long- how could he when his favorite handler is around? I imagine he has big regal looming eldrich entity energy but is very soft and gentle at the heart. He likes hearing about your life experiences, especially travel. Being a show cow means that Crowley tries to keep extremely close tabs on him when traveling for shows and Mal hardly gets to enjoy any of the local culture. He's pretty adamant on having you brought a long for business-related travel. That way, he's technically being supervised when he sneaks away with you to see the sights!

Hucow Lilia being so very fond of pranking his handler, whose care he barely needs. He'll playfully make care tasks difficult on purpose, but stops just before you can get frustrated or upset. If he accidentally crosses the line, sometimes he'll even finish the care task himself without help! Which shouldn't be physically possible in most cases, but he'll take his secrets to the grave.

Hucow Lilia who is a "retired" show bull (again, claiming he's "too old" for it) but can easily perform his old routines without breaking a sweat. If any of the young cows aspiring to be show bulls need, he's glad to train them! But his training is a little... unconventional and most young cows will pass on the offer. But it must be effective since he was- still is- Malleus's sole show mentor. I imagine Lilia mostly sticks around the farm because of his Diasomnia family and because he likes helping raise the calves. With supervision from Vil, who makes sure his parenting methods aren't too crazy and, more importantly, ensures he never cooks.

Imagine Silver being the easiest Hucow to handle for because hes just so chill and sleepy. If anything, the hardest part sometimes is waking him up long enough to get him to move to a different spot for Hucow care! He easily accepts his handler's assistance but also offers to help with tasks like carrying milk or fixing a fence. He is also very likely to fall asleep on their lap for hours and make their legs go numb. The best part about being his handler is definitely that he'll let you pet and stroke his pelt pretty much the second you become his handler. He's very duty-bound and, as such, trusts you implicitly to do yours.

Unlike Silver, Hucow Sebek is very unwilling to rely on his handler. Lilia has had to scold him many times on letting you do their job. Sebek tries to relent, but he will still complain, especially if it's a new care task or routine. To him it's a matter of pride and proving he doesn't have to depend on others. Especially since he's fond of you- he can't let himself look WEAK by relying on you, right? But if you twist your words just a bit- say that he's helping you by letting you do something or need him to remind you how it's done- he's suddenly eager to show you. He'll preen under your praise and, if you want to make him really happy, ask him to do little things for you, like reaching something on a tall shelf or asking for his advice on a personal matter... he'll absolutely glow with pride knowing you value him. Also, Hucow Sebek eventually gets to a point where he'll WEEP when you're gone the same way he does when Malleus is away for a show and he can't come with.

Now, after brainrotting a bit, I have two more requests and they are HORNY...

My first request is some size kink shit with Hucow Malleus and his handler. I'm LIVING for the idea of getting split in half by his literal prize cock with him cooing praise over his tiny little handler being able to take it. Big soft Dom vibes, even when he's being rough, just so much love in his giant dragon Hucow body.

My second request is Sebek getting blue balls and his handler insisting on "relieving" him because he's trying to power through it until it "dies down" or some dumb shit. But once he relents, he's DONE for. Nearly begging to breed his handler, pressing them up against a wall or some shit, kind of "dom but tsundere" vibes? 100% consensual and instigated by the handler tho.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK!!!!

I'm happy my insanity is what turned you to the hybrid kink side n I love all of your ideas please do stick around

uhmmmm how does milk(🥛) anon sound?

cw: hybrids(hucows), breeding kink, begging, dacryphilia(jus overwhelmed tears I think its cute), not proofread so sorry if it's all nonsense characters: malleus, lilia, silver, sebek

malleus is far from violent and doesn't have a reputation as such, he doesn't even playfully nip or headbutt like kalim and ace sometimes do, but his strength and stature are probably what scared some of his handlers off in the past if they weren't frustrated by how much he loves to disappear the hour before shows that is.

I imagine you being some intern handling some other cow that malleus just gravitates towards for one reason or another. when track is lost of him he's found in your general area or waiting somewhere he'll know you'll be soon(yes he subconsciously memorized your schedule) but you didn't seem to mind. this is great from crowleys perspective though, it's an obvious and easy fix, by making you malleus' handler he doesn't have to worry about switching them out every month… or paying both fees for fairs that he never ended up attending.

♡

trying to find a way to say this that isn't crude but well when am I not; fucking the hucow you're in charge of handling isn't part of the job technically but isn't frowned at too much either, not on crowleys farm anyway tho i wouldn't put it past the old bird to have made separate agreements w handlers that do require them to tend to their bulls more intimate needs, with a -barelynoticeable- pay increase of course. other establishments do have regulations in place to prevent it, seeing it as unprofessional at worst. it works on "a you break it you buy it" type of policy so you wouldn't wanna be the guy who knocks up a prize heifer who's starting bid is 70k.

♡

lilia makes for a fun cow to handle if anything, uh granted you're not brand new to working on the farm that is, alot of his ways of teasing newbies is borderline hazing, outside of that he's like a fun grandpa. he is banned from the industrial kitchen tho the closest he's allowed to get to cooking is supervised potato peeling duty if jamil has anything to say about it. I also imagine lilia being cuddly once he gets comfortable enough with you! lots of hugs, cheek kisses and headpats(he likes giving and receiving them) happen between the two of you.

♡

silver takes his responsibilities very seriously and would do well w a handler who's equally task minded but not to the point theyll outright refuse his assistance, though a little downtime never hurt anybody… I mean you told crowley you'd probably have silver milked by noon so it's not like you promised or anything, plus he looks cute resting so peacefully.

♡

now if anyone needs a reminder to relax every once in a while it's sebek. but once you catch onto the fact that he's just a little bit, maybe kinda sorta trying to be a show off cus he has a itty-bitty tiny crush on you(even if lilia had to point it out for you) it makes the job so much easier. yells your name and trots up to you so excitedly during morning role call every. single. day. his body language is super easy to read even if he's trying his best to act aloof about how he feels, especially early on, the way his tail swishes around wildly when you pat his arms while giving him compliments always give him away.

hucow sebek is one prideful n stubborn animal, even in rut. you offered to help him the first few days of it and why wouldn't you? I mean it's not in your job description, probably but you don't mind helping the poor thing out. he refuses the first 2, 3 and then 4 times so you decide not to push him. something about how malleus wouldn't stoop down so low as to take a cheap shortcut offer(he would) such as the one you've presented him with, even tho he does really want to he didn't verbalize that last part ofc.

when he does finally fold he's desperate and sweaty and mumbling nonsense about how you were right and he's sorry and he doesn't deserve you and you are also both very much behind the practice showroom out in the open. you can feel tears and sweat drench the back of your shirt. sebeks large hands are gripping at your hips and tummy like his life depends on it. his thrusts are sloppy and inexperienced but they work to fuel the fire growing inside of you nonetheless.

he hasn't stopped talking the whole time either. he's loud like always but it's what he's saying that's surprising to you. begging you go let him cum in you over and over until neither of you have any strength left and promises to be the best father he could possibly be if you do end up taking his calf. it's just his rut talking, you think, it has to be. not that you'd mind

♡

by the time sebek gives you a break hours have already passed and he slips his dick out of you still some what hard. he insists on carrying you back to his quarters, with intentions of continuing there obviously.

whoever was practicing for next weeks show that afternoon sure did get an earful

i did get a few other asks about hucow malleus n his breeding kink if you're reading this and you sent one of them I didn't forget you ok kiss kiss, so ill keep this ask in mind when answering those <3

Headcanon Height Chart

Here's my head canon line up for the characters along with my reasoning. I'd love to hear how other people picture them!

Actual Data

"The average orc stands six and a half feet tall." (Lore Tablet 1)

"Female orcs are stronger than males." (Lore Tablet 1)

"Elves are taller than humans, standing an average of just over six feet fall." (Lore Tablet 1)

"[Humans are] smaller than orcs and shorter than elves." (Lore Tablet 1)

Assumptions

In the real word, the average person is about 5'4" (5'2' for assigned female at birth, 5'6" for assigned male at birth). I picked 5'6" as the average human height across sexes for conceptual symmetry (about 6 inches between the average height for each race).

In the real world, males tend to be taller than females. I am applying this to humans and elves, but not to orcs, as orc females tend to be stronger (which I'm somewhat spuriously correlating with height).

For the chart itself, it's a general art rule to have a person's crotch/wrists at about half of their height. That put the 'floor' for everyone's full body sprites at about 2 feet. I did not stretch or squish anyone. It looks kind of whack to me, but I have no solution for that.

Character Specific Lines

"You bump into a tall man [Mal] heading out of the village!" (Book 1, Chapter 1) Mal is taller than the average human man.

"An exceptionally bulky cocoon thrashes and bursts apart. Prince Baldur tumbles out." (Book 1, Chapter 9) Baldur is unusually large.

"[Nia] You were puny and insignificant before." and "Leave me alone, tiny man [Mal]." (Book 2, Chapter 12) Valax may just be trying to insult everyone, but I'm taking this as she's taller than both of them.

"The bed's too small." (Book 2, Chapter 17) This could be Imtura just wanting an excuse to go at it on the desk, but I'm choosing to believe she's taller than her mother. I cannot imagine Queen Ventra putting up with a suboptimal bed for herself.

Just Vibes

Nia just gives me short girl energy.

I could have sworn that somewhere Aerin is described as the smaller prince, but I couldn't find it. We know Baldur is stronger than Aerin, so I guess I just assumed he's also taller?

I picture Aerin as shorter than average, contributing to his whole *gestures vaguely at him* complex.

For Mal, I feel like it's easier to do rogue-ing if you're not super tall.

I just think it's neat if Valax is big.

Bonus Imtura next to Aerin to drive home how terrifying I imagine her 'lifting him off his feet by the scruff of his shirt' would be-

This ask isn't directly for Wilbur or the blog, but rather the person who runs this. A bit of an ooc ask about world building and expanding this universe since I'm invested

Are we as the audience perceived as people in this universe watching this show/documentary about Utah at our homes, sending in questions via telephone. Or are we just random people that show up in the gas station and keep coming back one by one at random times to talk about the "Dabi cosplayer". (I'd like the imagine the second one; just a but of faceless people pressed up against the glass outside asking the weirdest questions. Fits the vibe)

Do you, the owner of this blog, have a part to play in the universe? Are you the director to the show, a main camera man, or something else.

The fanart that's made for this blog, I'd like to imagine it's—again—just faceless people running up and slapping drawings they make on the convince store windows and running off, leaving the producers and Wilbur with it. Stuff like that :]

Im gonna be honest I said I was gonna do author q&a today specifically so I could answer this ask because I feel weird just answering it willy-nilly

I tend to be... pretty bad at storytelling. I always get wayyy too into my own head, and things get so complicated to a degree where only I can understand whats going on, which is something im obviously trying very hard to avoid. However I don't wanna sacrifice the story I want to tell, so I'm just doing my best here.

One of the biggest limitations right now is that I'm just struggling to explain exactly how the world works/the translation between "Utah" and irl/us. The biggest ones are time and what exactly is being aired, because obviously it doesn't take one whole day to answer two questions, but I don't have the energy to answer more than two q's per day. And of course the 'film crew' arent actually filming Wilbur while he's sleeping or anything like that, but it's hard to tell the story I want to tell without having scenes like that. Im hoping that things will get smoother as we go, but for now I've just been making it so that episodes that dont have 'transcript's in them aren't filmed (or have "artist rendition" notes), and lets say that even though its been over a month of answering questions for us, it's only been two or three weeks for wilbur.

As for what you guys are, you're viewers who are calling in from home! Kinda like a radio show. No one is physically showing up to the store or his house (that would be really funny though). I did have some scrapped ideas that I may bring back later about the film crew, but for now "they" dont have any deeper place in the story. I'm the camera man, I guess! I've been imagining it as just some guy with a camera in one hand, a headset to listen to calls, and a little paper pad to write down answers.

There are 886 asks in the inbox right now! Not all of them are asks, some of them are just comments about whats happening (which I love, I <3 hearing what you guys think) but unfortunately I can't answer all of them. I have a general outline so whenever I do pick story/plot asks, its ones that fit that outline, and every other time I just try to be funny.

nor/mal (jk. he/they/xe)

I was typing out the whole story and reasoning behind the pictures I chose but it was getting way too long (because I ended up going down a rabbit hole). Basically I found an old blog from 2010 where a girl had posted a picture of her room, it was a very positive post so I didn't think it would be offensive to use it (also there's a comment from 2016 on the blog post asking if the image can be used as reference, no reply, the author of the blog has not logged in for years). The bathroom was made in the Sims 4/I used pictures of my own dorm bathroom

smoked a blunt in the woods and thought about cwilbur's character arc a little too hard

im shy 👉👈

fucks me up that people continue to think about this blog after liking/reblogging

HOTTOGO: a mal playlist ( @mal-mchale )

cherry by fletcher (feat. hayley kiyoko)

pretty girls by renee rapp

what i want by muna

comme des garçons (like the boys) by rina sawayama

i'm on fire by bruce springsteen

make out by julia nunes

heaven is a place on earth by belinda carlisle

kiss me more by doja cat (feat. sza)

lipstick lover by janelle monet

hot to go! by chappell roan

cherry by fletcher (feat. hayley kiyoko)

Cherry Hello, nice to meet you, my name's Cari We should rendezvous sometime, mon chéri I want you on top of me like cherry Cherry, uh, uh

Mal is a really flirty person and I wanted this playlist to reflect that side of her! This song is just cute and funny and obv very flirty and I don't know if she would call someone mon cheri but maybe she would LMAO. Also this is just an amazing collab so

2. pretty girls by renee rapp

In the p.m., all the pretty girls They have a couple drinks, all the pretty girls So now they wanna kiss all the pretty girls They got to have a taste of a pretty girl

So this is another flirty song but it's also specifically about being with someone who's still kind of figuring out their sexuality and I feel like Mal has probably caused a queer awakening or two in her time whether she is aware of it or if that person was just watching from afar LOL

3. what i want by muna

I want the full effects, I wanna hit it hard I wanna dance in the middle of a gay bar Ooh oh oh, that's what I want There's nothing wrong with what I want Yeah, yeah

This song is sooo fun and it's just about not being ashamed of your desires and going out and having a good time! Whether that's sharing some ~substances with your friends or hooking up or whatever. Mal is very confident and goes for what she wants regardless of the gossip and we love that for her.

4. comme des garçons (like the boys) by rina sawayama

Comme des garçons (comme des garçons) Like the boys, like the boys Comme des garçons I'm so confident

Speaking of confidence! This song I think is about like being confident in yourself and like basically being a bad bitch because plenty of men do that all the time so why not me lol. But I also wanted to put it on here as a sort of tribute to Mal's masc energy, and idk I just think this song has queer rizz

5. i'm on fire by bruce springsteen

Tell me now, baby, is he good to you? And can he do to you the things that I do? Oh no I can take you higher Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire

I put this song on here because Mal is a firefighter obviouslysakljdfhs okay but also imagine Mal singing this song at karaoke. Idk it just works. Are you picking up what I'm putting down. I see it so clearly. I don't have anything else to say about this just go with it.

6. make out by julia nunes

Kiss me in the doorway Always on your way out I'm trying to make you stay So we can make out

Another flirty song look it's a playlist with a theme! This song is just cute and fun and idk I'm sure Mal has a different work schedule from a lot of people being a firefighter and all. I always got queer vibes from this song I have absolutely no idea why but yeah

7. Heaven is a Place on Earth by Belinda Carlisle

Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth They say in Heaven, love comes first We'll make Heaven a place on Earth Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

We've all seen that Black Mirror episode, right? Idk lol also I just didn't want Bruce to be the only song from like the 80s on this playlist I wanted to give him some contemporaries. And yeah this is pretty straightforward I mean I don't think Mal is looking for like ~~committed relationship~~ love right now but I think there are many ways of expressing love and many kinds of love and yeah

8. kiss me more by doja cat (feat SZA)

It's just principle Baby, hold me 'Cause I like the way you groove, oh, oh

I put this on here in honor of the Mallora thread that's currently happening ok I joke but this is a bop. Sorry I feel like I'm starting to get repetitive here but you know what I'm going for. Who else can see Mal busting a move to this song in Pixie's??

9. lipstick lover by janelle monet

I like lipstick on my neck It let me know I'm your number one select I like lipstick on my neck Hands around my waist, so you know what's comin' next

This song is so spicyaskdfjhjlk it has a GREAT beat and like idk y'all just listen to the lyrics. Underrated album tbh I should listen to it more. Janelle truly doesn't miss idk

10. hot to go! by chappell roan

What's it take to get your number? What's it take to bring you home? Hurry up, it's time for supper, order up, I'm hot to go!

And finally the inspiration behind the playlist! This song is also here because of firefighter references jkjk it is just a truly perfect song it's so fun and it's BOLD and that's Mal in a nutshell she is not shy she just goes for it!! it's like 199 degrees indeed!!!

Gothique

The first challenge of the week was trying to define what the word Gothic means in today’s world. It is one of those phrases that is widely used and yet not very well understood. How does one ‘Gothicize’ something? My associations with gothic were as it was used in European architecture, as in—gothic Cathedrals. Other things that came to mind were: gargoyles, pointy rooftops, ominous lighting, the catacombs, Baudelaire’s Les Fleurs du Mal, Black Sabbath, and Noel Fielding the guy from the British Baking Show (and let us not forget IT Crowd). After having lived in upper East Tennessee for a few years, I was acquainted with Southern Gothic and other subvarieties of things goth, which utilize Appalachian folklore, local aesthetics of places and objects versus middle class, medieval European stuff. Gothic, put simply, is accenting the present’s mood/vibe as it is affected by the past. I would add that Gothic tends to dismantle dichotomies and present societal discomforts from perspectives that lean into anxiety, depression, and things that are normally considered ‘dark’.  

Moving on to monsters. Judith Halberstam, writes in her essay, “Skin Shows: Gothic Horror and the Technology of Monsters” (1995) that art as a technology puts effectiveness of horror into question. In literature, monster-horror is perhaps better maintained versus film because the viewer is only limited by her imagination, whereas in film, if the monster is visually disappointing, it will ruin the entire movie. I have also heard that some people find Frankenstein even as a book, quite boring, so who knows? The media-product’s ability to reflect the horrors of past-influence is determined by the viewer’s reception of said content. The cognitive ekphrasis (I use this term to describe a poetic translation that happens when something crosses thresholds from one medium to another, in this case film-to-brain) happens in a reader’s mind’s eye can be far more intense than simply a reception of a ready-made image on a screen. Halberstam’s discussion of The Silence of the Lambs, brings up an important element to how mediums enter the human mind, she uses the concept of Buffalo Bill’s ‘woman suit’ to discuss layered bodies and the amalgamation of identities. This made me think of how so many surfaces and energies sit on top of each other. Perhaps why Romantic style art was so dark, fantastical, ghostly, etc. in Europe, where just about every street corner imaginable has layers of history (and death) galore, a lot of which can be viscerally felt when standing in a place that still has the original buildings and cobblestones. Ignoring for a minute the gruesome image of the scene in Silence of the Lambs, think of how the ‘woman suit’ could be seen metaphorically as a stand-in for all viewers of art, all readers: George Saunders once said—readers, especially of fiction, get to have the experience of walking around in someone else’s skin, someone else’s body and mind and that is why it is such a powerful tool of communication between too distanced people, which hopefully, the practice of seeing things through different eyes builds empathy. Buffalo Bill took this too literally I guess.   

Ah, yes. My occasional headcanon.

Illidan is demisexual and biromantic.

Same for Malfurion, except he’s asexual.

I imagine Tyrande is pure bi energy. Sure, Mal and Tyra are devoted to each other beyond mortal years, but I still get strong bi vibes from all three.

Shadow and Bone Netflix Show - Brief Analysis

In this post I am going to break down the things I liked, the things I did not like, and just a general overview of my thoughts on the Shadow and Bone Netflix show. This is coming from someone who has read the Shadow and Bone trilogy about three years ago, the Six of Crows duology about a year ago, and has just recently watched the show when it premiered. I am a big fan of the duology and I did find the trilogy decently enjoyable at the time that I read it. 

I would like to preface this by saying that, as this is an overview, I will not be going into a lot of detail with regards to every scene. I may do something like that in future posts where I discuss each scene or character separately but this is more of a general overview. I would also like to clarify that I will not be addressing anything super in depth about the racism in the show as I am not very educated on the topic. I know that a lot of people have many different views on it and as someone who is Asian, my personal view is that it was fine. Some pieces of dialogue would occasionally feel a little forced but I personally do not believe it was a bad idea to make Alina a mixed race character. I know sometimes it can really feel like the producers and writers are trying to be diverse by adding POC to the cast and having the character face some form of discrimination every other scene but this show did not feel like it was pushing it super hard. There was so much else going on in the show that I did not mind those few scenes where they did address racism. 

So this is going to be divided into three parts. The first is production quality. The second is casting, acting, and character portrayals. And third is the writing and storytelling. So now let’s get into it.

Production quality: 

This was one of the biggest things I feared would be terrible about the show and would greatly impact my opinion of it because in a visual medium it is very difficult to get past bad visual effects, sets, etc. I knew it would be the first thing I would notice upon starting the show and I was very pleasantly surprised to see that money was clearly spent in the production with the incredible effects, costumes, props, set designs, and cinematography. I will say I am not educated on the subject of filmmaking and cinematography but from the little I do understand I think it was done very well.

There were also certain aspects I noticed when comparing the filming of scenes between the two storylines.  Mal and Alina’s scenes such as when they are writing letters to each other or when we get flashbacks of them at the orphanage, are more slow and soothing almost like gentle waves swaying back and forth on a beach. Their voices and dialogue are also soft and warm and this really gives a good sense of their relationship and dynamic. In contrast, when you look at scenes involving the crows, the filming is a lot quicker and snappier and things are generally more fast paced. Their dialogue, which involves a lot of banter or back and forths, is also great in showing their dynamic as well as their own individual character. 

Moving on to set designs and costumes, I think these were done really well. The throne room of the Little Palace was almost exactly as I had imagined it to look and the palace in general with the rooms and hallways did appear to be high quality. The Fold was also very well done though something I found a little strange was the occasional bursts of lightning in the sky. I think that sort of defeats the purpose of it being this completely dark place. Other than that it was exactly as I would imagine it to look. Ketterdam was also exactly as I imagined it to be with the dark alleys and dingy streets. With regards to the costumes, I think they were beautiful. Alina’s costumes in particular were really well done. I loved the way they did her hair and make up in certain scenes like when they go through the Fold that last time. The Keftas that the Grisha wore were incredible and accurate to the books with the different colours of each for the different kinds of Grisha. The crows’ costumes were also exactly what I imagined each of them to look like and felt really connected to their characters. Overall I think the set designs and costumes were fantastic.

All in all I would give production a 9.5/10. 

2. Casting, acting, and character portrayals:

Casting was also one of my fears for this show since the characters for me are the most important part of any story and if the cast is not good then the characters will not come across in the best way possible. I was once again so pleasantly surprised with the actors and actresses chosen for each role. I was worried about cringy acting as well and I am so glad there was no point at which I was cringing at any of the acting. The actors all appeared to have great chemistry and it came across wonderfully on screen. I’m going to briefly go through each of the main characters and the actor or actress that plays them and my thoughts on the acting and character portrayals alone. Later in the thrid section of this long post I will talk about each character with regards to how they were written.  

Alina: I personally believe Jessie Mei Li played a perfect Alina Starkov. She really gave off the vibe of being this important figure, a Sun Summoner, without it feeling annoying or as though she knows she is the main character of the story. I think her acting and expressions were generally well done. 

Mal: Though Archie Renaux was not how I imagined Mal to look, I think he did a great job of portraying the character. His interactions with Jessie Mei Li also felt very natural and they definitely had good chemistry. 

Darkling: Again, I think Ben Barnes was the perfect casting for the Darkling and his portrayal of the character was very well done. There were times where he would get teary eyed when talking to Alina and I understand that it was part of his character in being manipulative but it looked just a bit weird because crying is just something that almost humanizes him which I think does not fit with the idea and aesthetic of his character. You can still have him be manipulative and appear a victim to Alina without him crying or getting teary eyed. I think he would be able to get that across better with a tragic expression and tone of voice. But overall I think he made a great Darkling.

Kaz: Once again perfect casting with Freddy Carter. And really for this one, props to the directors and others who cast him for this role because this was a diffcult character to get the perfect casting for. Kaz’s character is probably the one that I have the biggest problem with but that has more to do with the writing aspect of his character. With regards to the casting and acting, I think Freddy Carter was amazing. First of all, he looks exactly as I would imagine Kaz to look. Second, his expressions and mannerisms were on point. And third, he had really good chemistry with Amita Suman (Inej) and Kit Young (Jesper). 

Inej: I feel like I keep repeating myself but once again I think this casting was perfect. Amita Suman as Inej just felt very right. Her portrayal of the character was amazing, she looked just as I imagined Inej would, and her chemistry with the other actors was incredible. 

Jesper: Once again great casting with Kit Young as Jesper. He got across that charisma and humour that Jesper is known for extremely well through his expressions and body language. He also appeared to have great chemistry with the rest of the cast. 

Nina: Another great choice to cast Danielle Galligan as Nina. I think she captured Nina’s energy or “vibe” perfectly with her voice and body language. 

Matthias: Calahan Skogman is exactly as I pictured Matthias to look so I think he was a great choice as well. 

Overall I think the casting, acting, and character portrayals in this show were spectacular so I would give it a 10/10.

3. Writing and storytelling/ How it was as an adaptation:

This is, in my opinion, the section with the most issues even though they were very few. 

Overall I think the writing was great. There were a few cliche pieces of a dialogue but those were very few. The dialogue for each of the characters felt natural and never felt out of character. As I mentioned previously, Mal and Alina’s dialogue had a warmth to it and their dynamic of childhood best friends came across really well through their dialogue. It did not feel as though they were trying really hard to have that dynamic. I also think it was a great decision to have the letters they wrote to each other be narration for many of the scenes that we saw them in. This was a great method of really getting across what they were feeling while they were apart and allowing the viewer to empathize with them. On the other hand a similar sort of technique was used with the crows. Whenever they were carrying out some sort of heist or mission, Kaz would be narrating the plan while we were watching it physically play out on screen. The dialogue between the crows was generally good and mostly in character. Their dynamic came across really well in a lot of their banter. 

With regards to the storytelling and as an adaptation, I also think the show did a pretty great job. Alina’s storyline was coherent and had a logical progression from beginning to end, following the major plot beats of the book. The main issue I have with it is that it felt rushed. I think adding an episode or two may really have helped with the pacing. It felt as though Alina learns about her powers and is taken to the Little Palace where she’s conflicted for maybe an episode and then suddenly she feels at home and like she belongs. We barely get to see her training at the Little Palace with Baghra or Botkin or see the development of her friendships with Marie and Nadia as well as with Genya. That part of her arc, which was a major part of it, felt rushed. Other than that I think the show did a good job of getting her from point A to B in a cohesive way.  

The crows storyline, I thought, was incredible because, since I am a big fan of the duology, I loved getting to see the crows and how they were before the events of Six of Crows. I think it was fun seeing their lives in Ketterdam and the way they worked before Nina, Matthias, or Wylan joined them. I was worried about how they would be incorporated in the story and that it would not feel natural but I think the decision to make their goal be to get Alina was a great way to tie them into the main storyline. It made sense with their characters that they would do something like that to get money and it made Alina’s storyline even more interesting. Getting to see interactions between the characters of both the trilogy and duology was one of the best parts of the show for me. Think about it. These were interactions we could only have hoped to see in the books and the show brought that to life and gave us those interactions. The crows’ storyline did feel a little less cohesive than Alina’s but this also made sense with their characters and the mission they had to carry out. There were many parts of the plan that needed to be completed, different heists and side missions, in order for them to reach their end goal which was kidnapping Alina from the Little Palace so it made sense that their storyline was a little less straightforward. Overall I think they had a very interesting and captivating story.

As an adaptation I think the show did quite well. Further down in this post I am going to discuss the major issues I had with the show as part of this section where I am discussing writing, storytelling, and the show as an adaptation. But in general I think the show did well in adapting the characters as well as Alina’s storyline. The crows’ storyline was obviously something that was not taken from the books but something that I could definitely see them doing. I think the show also did a great job of adapting the world and all of its intricacies as well as giving off that atmosphere that you get a sense of when reading the books. I also liked that there were many pieces of dialogue taken straight from the books which really made the characters of the show feel exactly like those of the book. 

Okay, now breaking down the few issues I had:

Kaz’s character: I think if we look at Kaz in the books, we can break his character down into two parts, the two defining parts:

His intelligence, wit, and strategic mind.

His cruel and brutal nature.

I think the show got both of these wrong on different levels. One of these can be explained while the other cannot. In the show, Kaz is not nearly as intelligent or strategic as he is shown to be in the books. We see on a number of occasions in the show that he has been taken advantage of or that he is not in the upperhand of a situation. I think that is a major change from his character in the book where one of the things you remembered about Kaz was how he was always ten steps ahead of his opponent. But this is an issue that can be explained and given depth by considering that the crows’ storyline in the show takes place prior to the events of Six of Crows and that at this point in time, Kaz hasn’t become that quick-witted, mastermind, strategist we know him to be in the books. We can see the beginnings of that character in the way he is portrayed in the show and can understand that his natural progression would be to the character from the books in the aspect of his intelligence. On the other hand however, there is still the second major part of his character and that part is a little bit of a bigger problem. That has to do with his completely cruel and brutal nature from the books. This was one of his major defining features and was very strongly rooted in his backstory. It was his past with Pekka Rollins and the death of his brother Jordie that brought about this ruthlessness in him. And what made his character so interesting and dynamic was how he was very slowly becoming a more caring person. It was a very slow progression but it was there nonetheless. You could see it in the way he cared for Inej and the rest of the crew. By the end he was still no where near being a gentleman, but there was still a change in him from the beginning to end. This is where I think the show messed up a little and it is an issue that I don’t really think can be resolved. The show made Kaz more soft and kind in nature. He definitely wasn’t entirely nice but you could tell he was a lot nicer compared to his book counterpart. Certain scenes in which he is talking to Inej felt a little too soft in particular the scene in which it almost seems as though he is about to confess something to her when she rushes out of the room and he calls after her. I don’t imagine book Kaz would ever do that. Or when he tells her that no one is like her. These are all moments where he appears to be much softer compared to the Kaz in the books that was cold and cruel. This is also an issue that cannot really be fixed in future seasons because the natural progression for the show then would be that he gets softer then he already is which means we will not get to see the Kaz from the books at all or with any accuracy.  If future seasons do make him exactly as he is in the duology then there will be the issue of it not feeling consistent with the character he was made to be in the shows. However I will end off by saying that even despite his character not being entirely accurate to that of the books, I still very much enjoyed watching every scene he was in and this issue did not ruin the overall experience of the show for me. I think what they did with his character still worked really well with the story, so overall it was not a major issue for me in changing my opinion of the show. 

Nina telling Matthias why she got him imprisoned as a slaver: This I find to be a greater problem that could have so easily been fixed by taking out just a few pieces of dialogue. I think a big part of what made Nina and Matthias’ story so heartbreaking was this pivotal moment when Nina turns him in as a slaver to save his life. And he doesn’t learn the truth until they reunite in the present day of Six of Crows. He spends that time in Hellgate believing that she betrayed him and that she really was the deceitful and dishonest witch he believed her and all other Grisha to be. Then when he finally does learn the truth, it is this big moment and then he has a slow progression to eventually believing it. The show eliminated the entire part of what made their story so tragic by having Nina tell him the truth of what happened immediately after she has him captured. So there is no possibility of this slow journey that Matthias has of accepting that truth. In the show he almost seems mean now for not believing or at least trying to believe what Nina tells him. Overall this is probably one of my biggest gripes with the whole show.

The Darkling creating the Fold: Another issue that could quite easily have been fixed is how the Darkling created the fold. The show made it to be that he came across a small slip of paper, he read what was on it, and then he gained the ability to create the Fold. That is too simple of an explanation for how something as grand as the Shadow Fold was created. I think this could have rather easily have been fixed so that even if it was still easy it wouldn’t be as easy as just happening upon a slip of paper. They could have done it by showing a montage of him looking through all the books in the archive and figuring out that there is some sort of code that he needed to put together and when he does piece it together and perform some sort of ritual, then he gains this ability to create the Fold. That would have made it more believable and the scene would only have been slightly longer than what it was in the show. 

Crows letting Alina escape: This was another issue I had that sort of adds to how they changed Kaz’s character because book Kaz would never have allowed Alina to escape so easily. Even the Kaz in the show would not have been outsmarted by Alina. This was one thing that felt a little out of character for the crows because, fine, I can understand that Alina blinded them for those few seconds with her light and Inej was not in on the plan of capturing her anymore, but how was Alina able to run out of sight so fast that neither Kaz nor Jesper saw where she went. Then on top of that, they aren’t discreet about finding her, as Kaz is always careful to be. Instead they go around the streets describing how she looks and asking people if they’ve seen her. I am not entirely sure what they could have done to solve this issue but I don’t believe the solution was very difficult. Maybe they could have explained through a short piece of dialogue that Alina used her power in a way that blinded them for more than thirty seconds which gave Alina enough time to get out of sight. Whatever the reason, I think this should not have been an issue because, despite seeming small, I think it says a lot about the crows’ characters. And I definitely don’t think this was a bad scene at all because I loved seeing this interaction and seeing Inej’s reaction to Alina. I just think the issue of Alina escaping so easily should have been addressed. 

For now, after watching the show just once, those were the major issues in writing and storytelling that I had with the show. If I have more thoughts about this after watching it again, I will make another post about it. Now I want to talk about some things that the show added that were not in the books and what was changed or kept from the books, that I liked. 

Mal’s character: The change that was made to Mal’s character in the show was probably the biggest and best change that could have been made. One of the major reasons I do not like the Shadow and Bone trilogy anywhere near as much as the Six of Crows duology is the characters. Sure, I found the world and plot interesting when I read the trilogy a few years back and even at times the characters were good, but a lot of the time I was either annoyed with Alina or with Mal. Most of the time it was Mal because he didn’t really feel like he was a great friend to Alina because of the way he treated her for being Grisha. I think a lot of my frustration with him also came from the story being entirely in Alina’s perspective so we never got to see any of what Mal was going through. The times that we did see him, he was either angry at or overly protective of Alina and there were only few occasions where he was being a good friend. The show really changed that with allowing us to see his perspective and all the difficulty and trauma he was going through to be with Alina. The show succeeded in making him an empathetic character and I think that is one of the most necessary things in creating a likeable character. Through his dialogue and actions, we were able to see how much he really cared for Alina. There were never any long stretches of time where he was angry with her or, on the other hand, where he was being overly protective of her. He was continuously being a good and supportive friend and that made the biggest difference in my liking his character. It is also what made me really enjoy Alina’s storyline as well because there was no point at which I found either Alina or Mal or any other character involved in their story, annoying to watch. 

No mourners no funerals: I was overjoyed when this line came up in the show because it is such an iconic line from the duology that I absolutely love and it was great to see it said on screen. Similarly, I was so glad that we also got to see Kaz say the line, “The deal is the deal.” and say it to Alina. 

Interactions between S&B and SoC characters: This was probably one of my favourite things about the show. It really felt like watching two worlds collide. I loved watching Kaz and Inej posing as guards and trying to escort Alina so they can take her. Watching Inej’s reactions to Alina was one of the best things. Then, Mal teaming up with the crows when they are in the Fold was one of the strangest but coolest interactions. Alina giving Inej the knife that she later names Sankta Alina was one of the best interactions I could have hoped for with the crossing of these two casts of characters. And to end it with Alina giving Kaz that valuable piece of jewelry, an interaction I never thought I would see, was incredible. 

Conductor: The addition of this character I think was a great idea. He definitely added to the storyline of the crows and was an interesting character on his own. He was the cause of a lot of the funniest dialogue and moments in the show like when the crows are crossing the fold for the first time. Overall, I think it was a good decision to add him in. 

Now last but not least, the thing that stole the show and beat everything else by far was:

(Drum roll)

Milo the goat!

And with nothing more to say about that, we’ve reached the conclusion of this very long post. My overall rating for this third and last section, which is regarding the writing and storytelling, would be an 8.5/10, a very good score. 

If I were to rate the show over all, I would give it a 9.3/10 because I think it was spectacular in many aspects. The few gripes I did have were not anything too major, though if those aspects were fixed I think this would be a top-tier show and adaptation for me. 

What do you think about everything that I said? Do you agree or disagree? I’d love to have a discussion so feel free to reach out and comment!

not asking you who you'd ship me with in the grishaverse because at this point everyone on tumblr knows the answer to that probably (though any chance of getting more of your wonderfully divine headcanons about matthias & I is a chance I gleefully take), but since you are shipping everyone I have to tell you that I've been thinking about Mal & you together for a little while. I just see it so clearly??

I think you'd have a relationship quite like Alina and Mal's, except healthier and less dramatic lol. but Mal is the epitome of friends to lovers and to me you embody exactly that. you're not the unbridled fury that enemies to lovers can be nor the bittersweet inevitability of soulmates, but really this idea of familiarity and comfort that you only unlock after spending a lot of time with a person, probably in childhood. Mal would represent exactly that to you: home, family, and love, and you're not really sure how or when you realize that it's not the same love you used to feel at Keramzin, that your feelings have shifted in the most terrifying yet beautiful way, but they have.

so in this scenario if you are Grisha, you get tested and your powers found out and you get sent to the Little Palace and your goodbyes with Mal are probably the most tearful moment Ravka has ever seen. You're holding on to Mal for dear life because he's really your family and you don't want to leave him behind, they're taking you to an unknown place without him, and you're so scared - but Mal tries to hold it all together because he has to be strong for you, and promises he will write to you every day and you will never truly be separated because he'll find you when he's older and strong.

(as soon as the carriage leaves he locks himself in the dormitory and cries all evening on his bed because your absence is so loud in these silent halls)

Inevitably years pass as you continue your training and Mal's letters become more scarce - sometimes you're the one who forgets to reply for a whole month, sometimes it's him - until you're not in touch anymore but you don't forget him, you never do, and you dream of him so often and all the words you wish you could tell him but never got the courage to

Until one day, almost a decade later, he is received at the Grand Palace for a particularly triumphant feat of his (Mal, always the hero) and the King wants to meet the First army soldier everyone is talking about, and you happen to run into him as he's trying to find his way to the audience room (because how stupidly huge are these Os Alta palaces, really?) And you literally can't believe your eyes.

so you'd be getting the childhood friends to lovers reunited after losing contact for many years which is TOP TIER romance

and Mal has changed obviously but not so much, and so have you; and he's taken aback by your beauty in your purple Kefta, and suddenly all the petty and insulting stereotypes about the Second Army he used to joke about with his regiment friends leave his mind because Saints - who needs a Sun Summoner when you're glowing like all the stars in the sky?

you'd quickly fall back into your common habits because they never left you, they're second nature at this point - Mal has basically forged your personality from the youngest age and you have his, and you fit together so perfectly

he'd be assigned to a more permanent post in Os Alta thanks to his prowesses in battle, maybe as the King's personal guard, meaning you'd get to spend so much time together

People would raise eyebrows at the sight of a couple between the two rival armies, but you don't care one bit - your love for Mal runs in your blood much deeper than arbitrary oppositions based on foolish pride.

If you're not Grisha, I don't think you'd join the First Army; war is probably not for you. I think your paths would separate too when he joins the Army and you leave the orphanage with what little money you saved over the years (sneaking out of Keramzin and reciting or singing your poems on the streets for a little bit of coin, or selling the meat and fur Mal would hunt for you) to move to a bigger city and try to do something with your life. You could be an artisan, or another kind of shopkeep! I can see you being manually gifted and creative, so you'd probably have an artsy business in the capital, like pottery or tapestry or painting on porcelain or something of the sort

and once again Mal is called to Os Alta probably for the same reasons - he just can't help distinguishing himself in combat, can he? - and he steps into your shop by total chance, and he's like. Olive???? Since when do you do sculptures???? And you're like. Malyen Oretsev???? Since when are you taller than me????

(Though the sculpture part doesn't surprise him that much, because you were always so creative and gifted in the arts, and he's always admired you so much for it.)

(But the TALL part??? ok, you are short, but you left him when he was like, thirteen and he was Not That Tall. how can your forever friend have grown that tall so fast???)

And so you ALSO get the long-lost childhood friends rekindle and fall back in love trope because my heart goes mushy for it ❤

your dynamic would be on point, because Mal knows you better than anyone and so he can read you like an open book. Either when he needs to find the teasing comment that will get you all riled up, or when he senses your discomfort or sadness and has to find the words to cheer you up.

You'd just make so many sweet memories with Mal, and he'd be down for every single thing you want to do as long as he gets to spend time with you. Want to be rambunctious on the streets of Os Alta and pull pranks on passerbys like you are 8 again? Yep, can totally do that. Feel like breathing in the fresh air of the wilderness and getting out of town to see a beautiful sunset, like you would in Keramzin? Of course! Just want to chill together doing your own thing and relishing in each other's presence? Absolutely.

he loves when you read to him, whether that be a book you own or a story straight from your imagination that you just wrote, and he's absolutely mesmerized by your voice and how much emotion you put in it. (though he can't help himself from making little jokes every now and then or trying to guess what will happen next in the story because he's what my mom calls a Culo Inquieto™)

you'd generally be such a cute couple who never lost that mischievous but oh so comforting and familiar spark from when you were kids, and is willing to stay with the other through thick and thin. you've found your other half in each other and I'm so soft for that. 💜💜

sorry I rambled but I just think that idea is so cute and you deserve a ship! (also, don't even get me started on the Chaos BFF Duo you would make with Jesper...) my head is killing me so I won't write any more but just know I hold this ship in extremely high regard. <3

clara, i will have you know i waited until i got ice cream in order to read this, because i knew it would be an experience™ and now, i,,, 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i'm so goddamn soft, how dare you make me yearn????

you mean to tell me you came up with all of this... for me? you think of ships for me??? how—how dare? how dare you be such a good friend, to the point where i am baffled by your kindness??? how dare you be this thoughtful and poetic,,,,,,, and just, big brained, ma'am.

because all of this is so perfect!!!! ohmygod i'm soft. i'm in love. everytime you write a ship or fanfic, i sincerely wish i was a romantic like you so i could have a proclivity toward fathoming such soft romantic scenes,,,,, you, clara, know how to do a ship™.

(also, i have to say i love the childhood friends torn apart, only to come back together,,,, it has laughter lines by bastille energy,,,, listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have the same vibes that that very specific and heartwarming trope,,,)

but, since you gave me such a beautiful gift, and since i would do anything for you, here are some more headcanons for you and matthias:

first of all, i think that you and matthias would spend a lot of time finding the beauty in small things. i think that it would be good for him, since he’s reevaluating who he is and his place in this grand world, and i think since you’re a romantic, small things would be important to you both.

— for example, you guys definitely star gaze together. it’s hard, since you are in ketterdam and the smoke is impossible to see through, but maybe you guys leave ketterdam for a while, and you spend a lot of time looking up at the stars. matthias loves to learn about everything you know, and repositioning himself underneath the sky is a good start to figuring out who he is. 

— you also like to sit by the water and talk. there’s something about the water that pulls memories from you both. matthias talks about what it was like, far away, in his little village before the drüskelle. (i get the feeling his dad was a fisherman or something,,,, the vibes are there), and you get to talk about people you once knew, dreams you once had. point is, you do a lot of talking - swapping stories and hopes.

— oh! another idea i can’t get out if my head is that matthias asks you so many questions. i feel like it’s a sign of real love and trust, when matthias starts asking you questions, because you have to be like,,, level 50 in order for matthias to admit weaknesses, and one of his biggest is that there’s so much he just doesn’t know. i think you also get really good at just,,,, telling him stuff so that he doesn’t have to ask, and he really just appreciates it.

i also just love the idea of matthias giving you to strongest hugs, or tbh, just holding you, and it’s all because he’s the big, strong one™! you know he’s got a protector complex, so that kind of feeds into his hugs,,, just that intense need to protect you, but also, he’s deathly terrified of losing another person he cares about, so he clings. (but only when you’re alone. the drüskelle in him is too Proud, but if you hang onto him in public,,,, he’s not complaining, just getting used to it)

okay, but i got a little bit ahead of myself, because i didn’t even talk about when you guys first meet, and the whole dynamic that is that™

— so, clearly, you are bffs with nina, whether your a grisha or not, and since i want fluff oNLY we’re just going to pretend like helnik didn’t happen,,,,,, they’re just friends. anyway, she’s the first one to pick up on your feelings for matthias because a) heartrender, and b) you two are the best of friends, and she just knows.

— and so you know a lot of teasing ensues, and almost everyone gets in on it and constantly makes jokes about you and matthias,,,, sometimes while he’s right. there. you’re Mortified But Coping™ and you can’t imagine what is going on through matthias’ head, because there’s no way he can feel the same, right?

— wRONG, we’re all idiots when we’re in love, and no one is more of an idiot than matthias. he is definitely ~soft~ for you but refuses to let it show because (1) the dregs are crass and he doesn’t want to give them fodder, and (2) you seem very uncomfortable about this whole thing, and he doesn’t want to make it worse

after some time, the teasing dies down, because both of you are too boring to tease. it would be funny if one of you freaked out, but you’re just,,,, suffering in silence. boring. and besides, inej and kaz are way more funny to tease. have you seen the murder in both of their eyes whenever you mention anything??? scary, but golden.

for the most part, the jokes die off, and i think after the jokes stop, you and matthias become much more comfortable with one another, and it leads to so! many! good! moments! 

— did i ever tell you matthias is in love with your stupid humor? your enchanting laughter? you’re so infectiously light and it makes him feel like he’s walking on clouds or something,,,,, he’s enchanted by you, but doesn’t have the words to explain it. 

— you know he remembers all of the little things his dad used to say about his mom,,,, and he feels all of that awed respect and soft warmth for you, but what to do with it???? he can’t really remember what his parents would do - it’s been so long and cold without them, but he tries to remember, and it’s the little things he does. he’ll tell you something really sweet in fjerdan and you’re just like ??? but it doesn’t translate super well, so you’re just left with the way he said it, and it means the world (plus, if you really get the courage, you can ask nina to explain it,,,, fair warning though, she scoffs at it every time. because it’s fjerda, alright?)

— you definitely end up reading him some poetry. it’s all under the guise of him ‘learning about the beauty in other cultures’ but really, it’s just an excuse to read him romantic shu poetry (they really know how to do it, let me tell you). and you also end up telling him stories about your childhood and your life, and he finds your rambling so adorable. especially since he has seen your work on paper! he finds it so sweet that your mind is so full of life that it wants to go everywhere at once, and experience every possible detail.

— you definitely end up showing matthias his way around ketterdam, and he keeps all of your hastily drawn maps, and whenever he goes past a street corner, he remembers the way your eyes sparkled in the light of the streetlamps.

i definitely have the feeling that you confess your feelings first. matthias has been trying to get the courage to do it, but he just can’t, and one day you tell him late at night - when, for just a moment, the world is still and quiet, and you can’t hold in all that warmth in your chest. you’re a little shy about it, but so is he, and when he hears you confess, all he can do is smile, because you have all of the confidence and strength he wishes he had. and all that courage laced in his chest, he’s learned it from you.

that’s ll i got for now, but i believe in clara x matthais supremacy.

💌 mutuals ask game: tag your mutuals and assign a new url you think would suit them and then send this ask to ten (10) of your favorite blogs/mutuals. 💌

hi!! thank you for sending this in, i got this on my main too but i’ll answer it all here if that’s okay <3 also i just wanna say i’m probably gonna suck at this but i will try my best fkdsgfj AND I’M SORRY IF I LEFT ANYONE OUT :(

@dnghycks - i would say, something like fullsun, sunrise, something sun/sky related bc girlie chose biases that reflects herself teresa is the literal embodiment of sunrays that warm and light up a room ☀️ or something dumb like roundbois bc all her biases HAVE SUCH ROUND FEATURES 👁👄👁 

@uyeau - i think something pretty like etoile? a beautiful word for a beautiful person 💓 mal is too good for this world and possibly the most precious human being out there. perhaps she was sent here as a blessing to the world and i just feel like she's comforting like stars that accompany you when you look out into the night sky <3

@satenlee - maybe chittaphon bc i can imagine her yelling that when ten does A Thing or henderysmile bc although cat may have you guys fooled that ten is her bias, boy do i have news 👀 but you didnt hear this from me (update; just checked her mobile theme and i think it shows fhshdjdj)

@yyuwins - when i talk to grace she's always bursting with so much love, enthusiasm and energy that it's contagious. she makes the conversation so bright and happy and i think a url like gracefully or radiantlight suits her personality and to remind her that she's an amazing person 💝

@nakamoto - gemini buddy!! ♊ the first word i think of when i think of beverly is divine so that's one, and im thinking something yuta related like yiercings or a canon url from her current favourite book (tmi but her vibes remind me of reading under warm blankets with a cup of warm tea on a rainy day)

@dojaeism - tell me why the first thought i had was catboyjaehyun 👀 i just feel like xîi would suit a lowkey chaotic url that's beyond me and my lack of creativity like dojaecat (*in marks voice when he went fav dojuhcat song in that one live*) but i will settle with dojaes bc it's her brand (and we love to see it!)

@dongsichengs - i just feel ngoc's thoughts revolve around doyoung and doyoung only so definitely simpfordoyoung 🤡 ok but fr a simple canon dy url like doyoungs bc who else should be using it if not for the best dy stan on tumblr dot com also i think ngocchi would make a really cute url!!

@johnnysuhs - legendari!!! ik that's my tag for ari but it's just the truth she is a legend and it must be made known. we love and appreciate a queen <3 maybe johpping bc when we popping and johnny we johpping 🕺 my brain just automatically associates her with johnny

@waiyv - for nia maybe something wayv related, her current url is canon but imagine the power of nia with the wayv url! or maybe liyongqin! nia's vibes remind me of spending a peaceful time at a nice cafe so another url i'd give her would be something like cafelatte

@tyong - ok i know mari already has such amazing urls so ill go with something that reminds me of her, maybe moonstone or ruby bc she exudes a powerful aura (also ty's ruby 🥺) or something with a pun like foreveryong (like the blackpink song... ok fjskdjk what was that sorry mari)

@nctdream - clare is SOOO funny i’m gonna say thedailyclare or nctdaily or something because god do i look forward to going on her blog and reading the tags like it’s my daily morning routine also clare and her content give me the same vibe as content we see on nctdaily; hilarious and wholesome babey

@tytrack - i love maryam's url bc songwriter ty!!! but also not at how we have been robbed of the tolo but if i really had to assign her one maybe tybubu bc her number one agenda is to protect taeyong! also like falsettaeil (???? i tried) bc she appreciates his unbelievable vocals <3

i'm curious so give me your honest opinion about the disney princesses!

here’s my honest opinion on the cast in general. just mine remember! other fans might feel differently: THE PRINCES

cameron as flynn - completely yes. he has a boyish charm that would work so well. people who say “actors should/can play anything” are completely wrong and will never work in the industry for that reason. actors have to fit the part to the extent and this is probs the most exciting casting for me. he’ll do so well. alex as aladdin - undecided...i don’t think he’s going to play him in the way we know aladdin. i think he’ll have a more serious spin on the character but i definitely dont HATE it.  oliver as prince charming - yes, yes, yes. charming isn’t exciting so they NEEDED someone who was going to give him some personality. i think this could really elevate oliver’s career too. we need more of him. harvey as eric - an actor we don’t know much about but again. YES. i think he’s the perfect fit and it’s great to see some new faces getting the chance to go big.  danny as prince phillip - yes! i like it and we know danny will be able to give us prince vibes. he’s very talented. what i like about these castings is there’s a perfect balance between big names to draw people in (like danny) and lots of up and coming talent too. ezra as naveen - i don’t hate it but it’s my least favourite prince casting...the energy people wasted trying to say zara was a predictable rapunzel should have been given to this. i think he’ll kill it but idk, it doesn’t excite me as much.  leo as kristofer - I DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL. it’ll either be amazing or a trainwreck. i just cant visualise it. again, im not saying i hate it. i just need some time to sit with it. i think when we get trailers and sneak peaks, it’ll make more sense. it was just a big surprise.  luke as li shang - also known as the perfect casting. he’s the perfect li shang. 

THE SIDEKICKS 

natalie as the fairy godmother - YES but she really needs to embrace it because this could become an iconic role for her. i think it’s perfect, i just hope she gives it her all.  florence as tinkerbell - this is her first acting gig, so i haven’t got much to go off of...HOWEVER, im always very sceptical when hamiltons go into something new...because their family is so powerful in entertainment it always smells of nepotism. i love her for tinkerbell but now i hope she can actually act and has talent/wasnt just cast for who shes related to. matt as the genie - NOT A SINGLE OTHER ACTOR could do it. i’m so glad this is what he got and he wasn’t lumped with a prince or something. he has the range, we know he’s going to be reeling off those punch lines. yes.  duyi as mushu - another actor i havent seen MUCH of. i think it’s accurate though and i’m intrigued to see where he goes with it. 

THE VILLAINS 

i’m not going to get into an individual breakdown of the villains because i agree with it all. i love that every single one is an established and known actor. i love that every single one has proved themselves already. THEY are going to be the ones who reel the audience in because names like wesley higgins, gisele collins, disney hamilton etc. are so linked to st judes. i think this was such a smart move. 

THE PRINCESSES 

autumn as snow - hm...i don’t know much about autumn. she has the look, definitely, but i don’t know what she’s like in terms of acting. BUT i can get behind it because acting is her main career choice so at least we know she has talent/is serious and she’ll be elevated to a new level of relevance in her career.  natasha as aurora - YES YES YES i cannot stress how much i was hoping aurora wasn’t cast as someone very traditionally princess-y like mal or zara. aurora is easily the most boring and passive princess and she needed someone with a bit of edge, especially bc this is a modern franchise. a VERY underrated choice but the perfect one!  mallory as cinderella - love it. i think cinderella is more relevant/important than she gets credit for so i hope mallory takes it seriously and really does her justice. looks wise, it couldn’t be more perfect. this could be a great performance if the work is put in.  ruby as belle - i really love it. i didn’t at first because ruby is a singer and with franchises like this, you kind of want ALL of the cast to be very serious actors but she has had broadway experience and been in her fair share of projects so i’ve warmed to it and she just looks like belle, doesn’t she? i think she’ll do well.  maelyn as ariel - i was NOT expecting it. i don’t know who i thought was going to get this tbh. i feel the same as i do about autumn...i haven’t seen much of her and ariel is SUCH a big character, i’m worried she might not do her the justice she deserves.  rosalie as jasmine - YES YES YES. rosalie is the next big actress in st judes. she can do film just as well as she can do stage and this will totally prove it.  harper as pocahontas - i love it! she has the look 100%. i think the only thing people will moan about is age but honestly? i think it’ll be fine. harper could easily pull off a college student (because that’s who pocahontas is in this?) and it’ll be nice to see her in something big.  elodie as mulan - YES. I WAS HOPING FOR THIS. 10/10. cassidy as merida - see autumn/harper! i don’t have any complaints but hope she can do the role justice as we haven’t seen much of her.  kobi as tiana - kobi is the perfect tiana. we’ve seen her do tiana before, but not a modernised version? i’m really happy we get to have her again. mason did well to not just go for “unpredictable” people and actually consider actors who would be convincing LOOKS WISE as well as acting range wise.  zara as rapunzel - i will defend this casting till i die. i feel like everyone who said it was predictable lowkey wanted mal to be rapunzel and imo that would’ve been a weaker casting. when it comes to disney, you definitely have to LOOK like the character you’re portraying, zara looks the most like her AND her acting ability is insane. idk where all the arguments were coming from about actors ‘can play people they’re not necessarily like’ as well because she’s not exactly like rapunzel irl but people can already see she’d be amazing as her, so that kind of defeats what the people who dont like the casting are saying? long story short, a perfect casting and the right choice. i just hope she isnt disheartened and brings her A-game. mackenzie as elsa - YES YES elsa is supposed to be slightly older than most of the princesses and have a sophisticated air about her. mackenzie will give us the elsa we deserve. she looks enough like her to make this a recognisable disney franchise but also has the acting range to show different sides to elsa’s character that haven’t been portrayed in the original movies.  heidi as anna - THIS IS CUTE. i approve!  christelle as moana - the same as ruby, pretty much! i hope there’re musical elements too though because imagine if we get a “how far i’ll go” cover from christelle? yes pleaaase?

'ullo darling— so, what are your thoughts on Arthur&Mal??? I mean platonic soulmates, besties since childhood and complete menaces with Dom and Eames as enablers— I ‘ve been reading way too much pre-canon fics ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh my, thank you for the ask!! A pleasant surprise and I’m definitely happy to talk about Inception any time of the day!

I actually have many headcanons on this :0

I feel like I have to clarify I’ve never read Presque Vu because I feel like everyone has and I know it’s a pre-canon fic where they’re best friends, but I don’t know much akdhasdj

I just discovered the keep reading thingy and this ended up being long so I’ll use that hahah. 

 Of course, my #1 headcanon is the they are were the best of friends.  The two paths I usually go with depends on my mood pfft-. Either they met in high school/university (<3) or they met when dreamshare was first being introduced, and they hit it off. (There’s so many possibilities??)

I’ve never really thought of them as childhood friends, but that’s a very interesting take! I quite like that one, too. Oh my—wait.

Imagine, they met when they were kids and Arthur was visiting France with his family for a few days? weeks? and they met at say ... a hotel (self indulgence is staying at a hotel in your home country) or a park or something. Due to them being kids and all, they were super sad to see the other go but didn’t establish the “I’ll write to you/call/etc” (I cannot tell you how many times I’ve met kids when I was one but didn’t get to keep in touch because the fact that I could escaped my mind :(( )

Then when they’re older, maybe Arthur goes to university in France and they meet and they’re both like ... hm, you kind of remind me of someone before they find out.

I actually kind of like this one a lot now—

But #2 is stems from how Dom Cobb looks like his dad tbh 😂😂

Just that Mal radiates a whole mum friend energy with him, even while being open and friendly with Arthur (this one is probably me self projecting when I make friends like 1 year younger than me and basically adopt them akshjdksdjek). So they’re friends but with like ,,,, banter mum-son relationship? The way my friends and I go around it is pretty much like an average friendship with the teasing and all, but if I fuss about something they’ll tease me by calling me their mum and etc (does that make sense?)

So it’s not about age per se, it’s about vibes.

There’s actually this one idea that I’ve been playing around with— it’s that instead of Arthur and Mal being best friends, it was actually Mal and Eames. I’m still working out the mechanisms and I wasn’t supposed to reveal it but now I can’t help it 😂😂

It sort of makes sense too if you want to pin why Eames is so pissed and Dom all the time (amongst other things), but I’ll keep another bit secret and put it into a fic hahah.

I do love the idea and I’m not sure if it’s been played around with before, but I’ll attempt it! <]:)

Omg this got so long I should stop here—I’m so sorry I didn’t know I was writing this much 😭😭

Thank you for asking and reading this!! Sorry again for probably infodumping more than you expected, here’s a picture of Mal:

Anime i’ve Watched

That begin with a A!

Yep this is how i’m going to bring over all the anime and manga i’ve watched and posted about on the old blog. It’s not so detailed but it will have to do. Anything new I watch or read from this point on will have their own posts.

Acchi Kocchi (TV) (Place to Place):

Genres: slice of life, comedy, romance, school

Synopsis: Feelings may come and go, but true love always remains in the heart. Tsumiki Miniwa is in love with her best friend, Io Otonashi. For her, confessing is nearly impossible; but to her friends, they seem to be the perfect match. Cute and petite, Tsumiki comes off more as a friend, and Io's attitude toward her is friendlier than toward others. Despite the constant teasing and obvious hints that his friends have been dropping, Io always seems to miss the signs. Throughout her everyday school life, Tsumiki spends time with her friends and Io. Will she finally muster enough courage to confess her true feelings? [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 8/10

Finished airing in 2012 with a total of 12 Episodes.

My Thoughts: It’s been ages since watching this one so I can’t say I remember it well but the rating tells me it was at least partway decent and I imagine I thought the animation/ character design was rather cute (though not to my usual tastes). A feel good sort of anime with cutesy romance? If any of you guys have watched this anime and have anything to share feel free to send it my way so people can make an informed decision before viewing if they so wish! 

Akatsuki no Yona (Yona of the Dawn):

Genres: action, adventure, comedy, fantasy, romance, shoujo

Synopsis:  Princess Yona lives a life of luxury and ease, completely sheltered from the problems of the seemingly peaceful Kingdom of Kouka; however, the sudden murder of the king and betrayal of her beloved cousin Su-won places Yona's life in mortal peril. Forced to escape only with Son Hak, who is both her childhood friend and bodyguard, the naïve princess soon discovers that Kouka is not the idyllic place she envisioned it to be. Poverty, strife, and corruption run rampant, making reclaiming the throne nothing more than a wishful fantasy given the kingdom's current state. Based on the popular manga of the same name by Mizuho Kusanagi, Akatsuki no Yona follows Princess Yona on a coming-of-age adventure as she faces the harsh realities of her kingdom. With only a mysterious legend to guide her, Yona must discover a way to restore Kouka to its former glory while being pursued relentlessly by the forces of the new King of Kouka. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 7.5/10

Finished airing in 2015 with a total of 24 episodes. 

My Thoughts: I recall having an issue with the pacing in the beginning but an overwhelming love for the sheltered to fierce main character and reverse harem vibes with all those pretty men. The artwork was nothing special most of the time, being rather muted and the themes were hit and miss but overall I recall this being a rather decent series. That being said, I was far more generous with my rating of the manga, which is still ongoing and a great series to read! 

Akiba's Trip The Animation

Genres: action, comedy, supernatural, ecchi

Synopsis:  Otaku siblings Tamotsu and Niwaka Denkigai are shopping in Akihabara when it is overrun by vampiric cosplaying monsters! These creatures, known as "Bugged Ones," can possess anyone they bite and soon they begin causing mayhem across the city. As Tamotsu finds himself at the mercy of one of these creatures, he is rescued by the mysterious baseball bat-wielding Matome Mayonaka. Together, they fight through several more encounters with the Bugged Ones, but before long, Tamotsu is fatally wounded protecting Matome. With no other choice, she revives him as a high level Bugged One—just like her! Tamotsu and Matome, along with excitable otaku cosplayer Arisa Ahokainen, make up the group "The Electric Mayonnaise" and they begin dispatching the Bugged Ones in the only way they know how: by ripping off their clothes and exposing them to sunlight! [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 4/10

Finished airing in 2017 with a total of 13 episodes. 

My Thoughts: That’s a hard no from me. Would not suggest this one. I was drawn in by the art/ animation/ character design and just didn’t know when to quit. Not worth the time it takes to finish the 13 episodes in my personal opinion. 

Amaama to Inazuma (Sweetness & Lightning): 

Genres: comedy, slice of life, seinen

Synopsis:  Since the death of his wife, Kouhei Inuzuka has been caring for his young daughter Tsumugi to the best of his abilities. However, with his lack of culinary knowledge and his busy job as a teacher, he is left relying on ready-made meals from convenience stores to feed the little girl. Frustrated at his own incapability to provide a fresh, nutritious meal for his daughter, Kouhei takes up an offer from his student, Kotori Iida, to come have dinner at her family's restaurant. But on their very first visit, the father and daughter discover that the restaurant is often closed due to Kotori's mother being away for work and that Kotori often eats alone. After much pleading from his pupil, Kouhei decides to continue to go to the restaurant with Tsumugi to cook and share delicious homemade food with Kotori. Amaama to Inazuma follows the heartwarming story of a caring father trying his hardest to make his adorable little daughter happy, while exploring the meanings and values behind cooking, family, and the warm meals at home that are often taken for granted. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 9/10

Finished airing in 2016 with a total of 12 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Heartwarming and painfully sweet. A story about family with a culinary twist. Lovely artwork/ animation/ character design which perfectly compliments the characters and story. A great one to watch if you’re looking for something light but capable of tugging at your heartstrings a bit. 

Amagi Brilliant Park:

Genres: comedy, drama, fantasy, magic

Synopsis:  Seiya Kanie, a smart and extremely narcissistic high school student, believes that the beautiful but reserved Isuzu Sento has invited him on a date at an amusement park called Amagi Brilliant Park. Much to his chagrin, not only is the location a run-down facility, the supposed date is merely a recruitment tour where Sento and Princess Latifa Fleuranza, the owner of the theme park, ask him to become the park's new manager. Their cause for desperation? As stipulated in a land-use contract, Amagi has less than three months to meet a quota of 500,000 guests, or the park will be closed for good and the land redeveloped by a greedy real-estate company. Seiya is won over by the revelation that Amagi is no ordinary amusement park; many of its employees are Maple Landers—mysterious magical beings who live in the human world and are nourished by the energy created by people having fun. Entrusted with the hopes and dreams of this far-off enchanted land, Seiya must now use his many skills to bring Amagi back on its feet, or watch it crumble before his eyes. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 7.5/10

Finished airing in 2014 with a total of 13 episodes. (Also has two OVA’s/specials)

My Thoughts: An interesting setting and a cute male lead made even better thanks to the excellent art and character design. A decent comedy with art/ animation/ character design that was right up my alley. 

Amnesia:

Genres: reverse harem, mystery, romance, fantasy, josei

Synopsis: After fainting at work, a young lady awakens in the back room of the café she works at with no memory of her life or those around her. Two of her friends, whom she soon learns are named Shin and Toma, are called to help her get home safely. Once she is alone, she meets a spectral boy named Orion that only she can see and hear. He explains that she lost her memories because of his chance visit to her world, so he vows to help her remember who she is.

However, regaining her departed memories without worrying those around her may be more difficult than she realizes. In addition to the gloomy Shin and the protective Toma, she must be wary of arousing the suspicions of the captivating Ikki, the quick-witted Kent, and a mysterious man who lurks in the distance. As her amnesia entangles her in the lives of each of these men, her fragmented memories return piece by piece, and the mysteries of her circumstances slowly come to light.

[Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 3/10

Finished airing in 2013 with a total of 12 episodes.

My Thoughts: A blank piece of paper for a female lead and cast of potential suitors that range from kind of crappy to the creepiest of creeps. What isn’t there to love? I vaguely recall my reverse harem kick where I consumed each and every reverse Harem I could get my hands on, hoping that at least one of them would be properly satisfying... They never were. Don’t even bother watching this one. You know unless what I described above is your sort of thing.

My opinion about the confirmed S&B partial cast reveal

(I would like to open with the fact that I have only read SoC,CK, KoS, and the first book of the original trilogy S&B. I am starting S&S tonight lol)

I’m doing SoC in a seperate post.

SPOILER WARNING FOR NEWCOMERS 

Ben Barnes as The Darkling is a great choice. I am SO HAPPY they picked a man lmao we all know that The Darkling is an old dude with magical aging. BUT, I was gonna lose it if they went for a teenage look for him. It would have had Twilight vibes. His character in HBO’s Westworld was basically a sociopathic millionaire (but not to the extent that The Man in Black evolved to be). This ability to show disregard for those who “aren’t human”, and the pleasure of this disregard and violence, is perfect for how The Darkling wanted to build a Grisha state. I believe in him lol

Jessie Mei Li as Alina Starkov was an immediate acceptance for me, which surprised me. I realized that the Alina in my imagination was kinda vague and blurry after she became healthy again when she began using her powers lol like I was so used to imagined exhausted Alina, whisps of hair falling out of her military bun (yeah, because since she was a normal soldier at the start- and I don’t really remember if Leigh wrote it this way or not lol- I imagined all female soldiers to have buns in uniform lol), and bags under her eyes all the time. Once she was “beautified”, I lost my vision of her, but retained her spirit, so to speak. And when I looked Jessie in the eye (through this photo lmao) I saw the determination of a soldier, and I’m on board. Even though I haven’t finished the trilogy, I have this vision of who I believe she is going to become, and Jessie has that “umph” toughness to her energy, and that’s my fully-evolved Alina lol 

Archie Renaux as Mal Oretsev is also an automatic win. I googled him because my Mal has longer hair (he does canonically, right? Sometimes my imagination just dgaf and does its own vision lol) and I needed to see if he already had published photos with longer hair. And, the verdict with more hair is: sold. He has a ruggedness to his features, and I feel my Mal always had a kind of hard face for a young man, all jaw line and hard cheekbones. I know that I shouldn’t be shallow and judge all these approvals based off of looks, but right now, without a trailer, this is all we have lol 

Basically, I needed the casted Alina and Mal to be believable as soldiers, like... in the face, in how they carry themselves, and I already feel that energy off of them, and I’m content. The Darkling is a win for the previously mentioned reason. He had to be a man or it was going to be typical, you know? 

Oh yayy you watched the descendants movies! Which one’s your favorite? Mine’s the second one. Mal and Evie are such girlfriends I’m convinced they made Ben as bland as they did so we’d see right passed him and focus on mal with Evie and they even had the only romantic duet in the franchise also mal and uma are exes tbh all the villain kids exude such gay energy if only Disney weren’t cowards

i think the second one is my fav too. lots of gay vibes and space between is just....... so good. mal and evie are so GOOD, i love how much focus their relationship got. and YEAH ben is so boring like i just forgot about him anytime he wasn’t on screen lol. uma and mal are for sure exes, there’s too much tension there for them not to be. jay and carlos also were extremely gay. that moment where they were talking about the asking someone to the cotillion i thought for half a second that carlos was about to ask jay and then i remembered it’s a disney movie 😔

also can we just imagine a ben-audrey role swap in the first movie where mal steals ben’s gf instead of having Boy Drama

Violette, Makeup Artist

With her dreamy French accent and enviable style, it’s easy to see why beauty lovers the world over are a little infatuated with makeup artist Violette Serrat right now. Violette’s makeup tutorials inspire her devoted followers to channel their inner Parisienne on the daily and school them on interpreting trends for everyday wear (with a healthy dose of Gallic chic thrown in); think metallic blue lips, poppy-hued eyes, holographic lids and smudgy liner. And as Global Beauty Director of Estée Lauder, her relaxed, effortlessly cool attitude to beauty is now reaching a wider audience. Violette shared her unconventional beginnings in the beauty industry with us, as well as the secret to her perfectly imperfect hair, and why wine and cheese will always play a key role in her diet.

“Before becoming a makeup artist, I was studying art and fashion design.

I felt passionate about both - I didn't know which one to choose. One night, I came home and my friend was getting ready to go to a costume party. She was dressing up as this French character who wears a glitter mask on her eyes. So my friend asks me, "Can you do the glitter mask on my eyes?". I tell her I've never done makeup before, and she says, "C'mon. You're a painter, it'll be fine." So I did and, indeed, I felt like it was the link between art and fashion design.

My first instinct was to move to New York to get out of my comfort zone, and to find myself as a makeup artist without doing the typical training.

I thought, if I have to assist and go to makeup school, then it's not going to be a job that interests me - I want to do makeup the way I discover it. So that's why I left for New York. And I just knocked on the doors of all the modeling agencies and said, “Hey, I'm a free makeup artist” with my very French accent. And they gave me girls to do makeup on with new photographers for their books. With that, I started to build my book and work a lot. That night with my friend created a new path for me. I was thinking, "Wow, it's like dressing up a face and painting a face. Maybe that could be my job." And I started like this - like a weird hybrid artist.

I always have Re/Done jeans, and right now I’m really obsessed with Frances de Lourdes’ cashmere t-shirts. 

I have always some lingerie that you can see - I always wear it in black so it’s visible when I wear a white t-shirt. It's from Fleur du Mal, which I love. As for shoes - it depends. It could be heels (either Sergio Rossi or Gianvito Rossi) or otherwise I have my Converse. And bags - I have so many brands I couldn't even tell you.

I love when beauty serves you and how you feel. It’s here to empower you, to soothe you. I don’t like when makeup is used to change who you are or how you look. I am all about acceptance of who we are and loving ourselves.

I am a makeup minimalist. My signature look is bare skin and intense red lips, or messy hair with glitter eyes - balance is key to me. I use concealer, always - I go for the Estée Lauder Double Wear Waterproof Concealer, because I don’t have to touch it up at all during the day. Then I apply black mascara (I love Pure Color Envy Mascara). And I like to use my lipstick as my blush as well, so it's the same kind of colour - the colour I choose depends on the day. Lastly, a little bit of highlighter - and that's my go-to look. My favourite makeup tricks? Doing makeup with my fingers and using blush as an eyeshadow.

I feel my most beautiful when I see myself through my boyfriend’s eyes.

It could be in a moment where I’m not prepared, but I can see in his eyes that he thinks I’m beautiful. Sometimes you get used to it, but there can be a moment that will strike and you realise it again.

My skincare routine is long and rigorous - I am certainly not a skincare minimalist.

I am loyal when I find a product I love. I have this very soft cleanser that I use (it's like a milk), and then I spritz my face with water. I then use Estée Lauder’s Advanced Night Repair Intense Recovery Ampoules. I'm obsessed with anything “recovery” and it preps my skin really well. I then have this light cream that I put on top, and that's it. 

Since joining Esteé Lauder, I have discovered incredible products that are now my essentials, and I think I will stick with them for a very long time: the Advanced Night Repair PowerFoil Mask and Serum, Revitalizing Supreme+ Balm and the Double Wear Eye Pencil in Burgundy Suede. And the Pure Color Envy LipColor in Poppy Sauvage from my collection, of course.

For a night out, I'll put heels on and change my bag, but I keep the jeans and the t-shirt.

Then I like to grab a very strong or dark colour, I colour my eyes and smudge it with my finger. And then always freshen up with a little bit of my Estée Lauder concealer. 

When I wash my hair, I blow dry it a little to make it shinier.

And then I just put it up in a bun while I do my makeup. And I also do something a bit funny: I have this spray from Bumble and Bumble called Thickening Dry Spun Finish, which helps keep the shape you give to your hair. I put it on the roots of my hair and I pinch it up a lot - I even have a little clip that I put on my bangs to lift them more in the centre, because it gives them more of a ‘70s vibe. I don't like when my bangs are flat and round, which looks more ‘80s. And while it's setting like this, I'll do my makeup. And then I remove my bun and little clip, and the hair has a natural, messy wave.

My beauty look is a mix of boyish and feminine.

That's why, for me, the right balance is very important. For example, for hair, I like when the texture is really beautiful, clean and shiny, but it's a bit messy. Skin needs to be super healthy and fresh, but then imperfect, or else it looks fake. Nails are always done, but then paired with messed up jeans. It's always a balance of something you didn't look after, while the other thing is perfectly done. Honestly, I think that I'm very lucky to be a woman, and when I work on other women, I'm trying to celebrate them, so it's always about the same idea of balance. It's not about being someone else, not about trying too hard - it's always about being effortless.

My biggest beauty influence is women. All women.

I don’t have one icon. I love walking in the street - New York is an incredible source of inspiration because there is so much diversity and the women here dare to try. I love to look at them and imagine a little story of how they decided to wear a particular look. It’s like every woman is showing you a little part of herself.

To relax, I do transcendental meditation.

I don’t attend yoga classes as I am not ready yet. But every morning I do five to 10 minutes of yoga stretching that my very good friend, a skincare guru and yoga teacher, forces me to do. I do Pilates almost everyday - I just bought a reformer machine for my house, since I have such a crazy schedule, so now I can do it at home - no excuses. I used to paint, but that’s pretty rare now. But I garden - this is my current passion and it totally relaxes and grounds me.

I've recently started to understand how difficult ageing must be.

Before I used to think, “Wrinkles are so beautiful. What’s the problem with ageing? Why all this surgery?” I actually still feel the same way about wrinkles - I think it’s life and it’s beautiful. But I've started to see changes in my metabolism and if I drink too much, the next day is harder than before. I now have to work out more to maintain, and all these changes are so stressful, so I understand better now why people are resistant to ageing.

I see my friends who are around 45 years old - which is still young! - and between the ones who take care of themselves and the ones who smoke and eat unhealthy foods, I can see a big difference. So it makes me feel like ageing can be beautiful, but it depends on you and how you treat yourself. It’s very inspiring.

When I was a teenager, I wore red lipstick all the time, because I was in France.

I thought that as a woman, you wear a lipstick. I think I was 14. And red nails - I wore very deep red at maybe 12 or something. A perfect manicure was very important to me as a teenager. And I started to have fun with glitter pretty early. 18 was the big glitter phase in my life, but only on myself - I was 19 when I started to experiment on people as a makeup artist. But in school I wouldn’t wear any makeup - maybe just mascara. At that stage, beauty was not an obsession. Fashion was a bigger deal to me then.

I have these boots that help with lymphatic drainage, since I am always on my feet. I love them.

I also do facials at Rescue Spa every 6 weeks. At home, I do my own facials once a week. And after winter, I do a bit of cryotherapy to help my body recover from all the heavy food I’ve eaten. In New York, I go to Hortūs Nailworks for manicures - I will only go there. I also love Soho Sanctuary for massages and Shibui Spa.

I am now following a keto diet, and it has changed my life.

I don’t eat carbs or sugar - or even fruit, with the exception of berries - but I eat lots of good fats. I am so happy - I feel great and my body is in much better shape, and I am just much healthier overall. For breakfast, I’ll have a muffin with almond flour that I make myself, and some cheese or eggs with avocado. For lunch and dinner I’ll have some protein with veggies, and I make sure I have enough fat, as that is what gives me energy. I eat all organic and clean, nothing fried. It’s very close to what my diet was like back in Europe, so it’s not that big of a change. I also make my own coconut yogurt that I can eat as a snack with berries in the afternoon. I am never hungry, as I eat good quantities, and I am always full of energy.

I must admit, my stretches in the morning help me a lot. I pour cold water on my legs every morning and night to help with circulation, and I also use a dry brush everyday before my stretching to get rid of toxins. After having moved to New York City, where the food and elements are very different from France, I have to take a bit more care than I used to. But I actually enjoy doing all of these things, as it makes me feel so good.

I love apple cider vinegar in the morning to cleanse.

I do coconut oil-pulling first thing each day - it gets rid of all the toxins your liver clears out during the night. Sometimes I’ll do a week of aloe vera juice before each meal to help my digestive system, and I love a good turmeric and black pepper supplement to help me with any irritation or inflammation. And of course omega-3 for good skin. I still drink wine, as it is keto - which is good, because I need my dose of cheese and wine - I am French after all!”

Story by Tess Schlink. Images from Estée Lauder and Violette’s Instagram.