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house-of-slayterr · 1 year

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Intimate Birthday Party Pt. 2:

Tag: @myers-meadow-selfship @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better @iloveslasher @queer-and-utter-chaos @oceansrose2002

France’s POV:

Today was the day, today I turned 25. It felt strange to say, and I didn’t want to advertise it to my partners who were both older than me. I brushed a hand through my long hair, and my fingers got tangled in a knot. Birthdays we’re always stressful for me, the company made a huge deal out of them, and so had my mother.

But this would be better. Just my friends and love ones and my favourite foods. But the stress was still getting to me. I stomped into the kitchen and grabbed a pair of scissors, rushing back to my room. I went into my adjourned bathroom and took a long look in the mirror.

“Ok Frances, you can do this, it’s just hair…”

I took a deep breath and held up the scissors, squeezing my eyes shut as I heard the sound of splitting hair. When I opened my eyes I was holding a huge chunk of hair. I should have been panicked but I was excited. It felt freeing. I saved a small bundle of hair and kept cutting, throwing the rest into the trash. It seemed weird to be sentimental about something as silly as hair, but just like the rest of me, my hair being seen as “perfect” was a huge part of my life.

Hannibal typically used the master bathroom, but he had supplies in all three bathrooms in the house. I riffled through the drawers and found an electric razor. Bingo. Hannibal and Meadow were already up and out for the day, finishing up stuff for my birthday party. I pulled up Pinterest on my phone and searched for a hair cut I liked.

I pulled up a quick YouTube video to see how to cut it, and went at it. After about fifteen minutes or so it wasn’t looking bad. But the bathroom was a train wreck. I walked to the laundry room and began cleaning up my mess. But this still don’t feel good enough. I wanted a bigger change. I was 25 now, supposedly a quarter way through my life. It was an arbitrary milestone, but it meant something to me that I made it this far. Despite everything I’ve been through.

I hopped into my car, driving into town. My partners warned me they’d be out most of the day, so I had plenty of time to just enjoy my morning and relax. Perhaps I’d get my nails done while I was out too. I made a b-line for the hair dye isle and began contemplating my options. I’d learned a lot about colour theory from Hannibal when he talked about his art. I couldn’t choose between the reddish orange, or full blonde, so I chucked both in my cart.

“That haircut looks nice on you.” The store clerk commented.

“Really? You think so?”

“Totally, it makes your curls look bouncy and light.”

I smiled brightly.

“Thank you.”

“No problem, have fun with your hair” she said with a wink.

The nail shop wasn’t far down the road, and I’d most likely only be there an hour, which gave me enough time to dye my hair, shower, wax and do my makeup before they got back. This was perfect. I was never allowed to wear nail polish as a Ballerina, so I had no idea what colour to choose.

“Hey, this may be a weird question, but could you pick the colour, design, whatever? Surprise me?” I asked the lady checking in at the front desk.

“Sure, I’ll take a look at your nails and see what comes to mind. Any colours you don’t like”

“I open for anything, I’ve umm, I’ve never done this before.”

“You’ve never gotten your nails done before?”

I shook my head. “My previous profession didn’t allow it.”

She nodded in understanding and led me over to one of the massage chairs. She started warming the water for my pedicure and I could feel my stress melting away as I dipped my feet in. A little makeover was just what I needed. I relaxed and closed my eyes as they did their job. I’d be sure to tip them well. It was a small shop that didn’t look like it got much business. But I found small shops tended to be more intimately run. It wasn’t loud or overwhelming here.

By the time I was done, I was ecstatic. My nails were coffin shaped, with a dark purple shimmer. And she added a little star and moon on my left ring finger. It was romantic, and dark and mysterious, and I loved it. As she was ringing me out, she gave me a weird look as she counted the money.

“I think you gave me too much, it was only $70, you gave me $150.”

“The rest is your tip darling, a thank you for making my birthday nails look perfect.” I smiled.

“Are you sure? You’re giving me more in tip than you paid for the nails.”

“I’m positive, you work hard. Perhaps I’ll stop by more often. It’s nice here.”

“Thank you, that means a lot. It just me and my family running the place. We thought we were gonna have to close down a few months ago, so this really helps. Happy birthday by the way, you’re so kind.”

“Oh dear, that’s disappointing. Well I know two lovely women who would love to get their nails done by you. You’re good at what you do Kid.”

“You don’t have to do that-“

“I want to. Best gift on a birthday is a smile.”

I pulled out another $20 from my purse and handed it to her.

“Keep this just for yourself, get yourself something nice for lunch.”

The poor girl looked like she was about to cry.

“Please, let me give you a free manicure next time for all your kindness.”

“Non-sense, you deserved to be paid for all your work. Just keep the lights on, that’s good enough.”

“Can I give you a hug?”

Normally I’d say no, but I was in a much better mood than I’d woken up in. I nodded and she pulled me into a hug.

“Please, stop by any time. You’ll have to tell me all about your birthday.”

“I will, have a good rest of your day. Wishing you some traffic stoping by the store.”

I had the biggest smile on my face as I drove back home. This year was gonna be different. My meds were working, I had a new job, I had too lovely attentive partners, and I was meeting up with an old friend. Good vibes, Alana’s coping mechanisms we’re working.

I went back on Pinterest as I ate the vegan quiche Hannibal had set aside for my breakfast. I cleaned and tried my plate and rushed off to the bathroom. After about ten minuets of contemplation I just decided to do both. It can’t be that hard right? I decided to stick with mostly the burnt orange, and do a blonde undercoat with one stripe in the front. It took about half an hour of struggling to get everything perfect and now I just had to wait.

I decided to multitask and wax, and do my eyebrows while I waited, it would free up more time for me to read and get dressed before they got home. I was excited when the time went off and skipped off to the bathroom. Enjoying the warm water as it poured over my tired body. My body was more sore than normal today, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from having fun.

Hannibal had gotten me a shower chair for when my legs were too tried to stand for a shower. But most of the time he indicated on helping me in the bath instead. Which I didn’t mind at all, it was intimate and sweet and so thoughtful. He never made me feel like a child who couldn’t do things, he just wanted to make things a little easier on me. It was his love language and I adored it, just as I adore him. My brilliant, disturbed Doctor.

It felt so nice to be able to quickly run my hands through my hair and not fuss with it. It was so much quicker. As the steam cleared from the mirror I finally got to see the fruits of my labour. It wasn’t perfect, but it was all me, and that made it great. I could stop touching it. I walked into Hannibal’s room to borrow some of his cologne, and I noticed a large box with my name on it. I picked up the letter on top.

“For my beautiful Frances, enjoy you’re birthday my love -H.L.”

I smiled as I tore into the box. I placed my hand over my mouth when I saw it. It was the most beautiful suit I’d ever seen. The shirt was a dark red, with flowy, puffy sleeves. The suit vest was a black leather, shinned to perfection, that had a corset waist. The pants matched, but had flare legs to compliment the sleeves. It was perfect!

I let out a happy little squeak, not hiding my excitement cause no one is around to here. I quickly finished the rest of my skin care routine, and by then my hair was dry. It had never dried so quickly before. Why didn’t I do this sooner?

As usual the outfit fit me perfectly. I don’t know how Hannibal did it, it was like his secret superpower. And I was very grateful to him, for far more than just that. I curled up on the couch and waited for them both to get home to help them set up. I’m pretty sure Hannibal would insist that they could do it on their own. But it’s my birthday and I wanna help.

I must have fallen asleep cause I felt the gentle shake of my shoulder. I looked up to see Hannibal smiling down at me. God what a beautiful sight, how did I ever get so lucky. He brushed his hand on my cheek and I leaned into it, before he ran another hand through my hair.

“Your hair-“ he said.

“Do you like it?” I asked, trying to push the last bit of sleep out of my voice.

“It’s very you” he smiled.

That was such a Hannibal answer. Indirectly avoiding the question, but somehow still telling you and answer you want to hear. I smiled, grabbing his hand and pulling him down to the couch with me. He let out a sigh.

“There lots of work to be done, Love.”

I shook my head, leaning into his side.

“Just ten more minutes.”

He laughed lightly, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer.

“You’re warm.” I smiled.

“Somebodies clingy today.” He mused.

“It’s my birthday, I’m allowed to be. Besides, I just want you guys for my birthday. I’m so happy to have you, my love.”

“And I am happy you’re mine”

He kissed the top of my head.

“But we’ve really have to finish this up if we want things done on time.”

I sighed.

“Fine, fine… go”

I pushed him up off the couch, following after him to the kitchen where Meadow was. She looked over her shoulder at me and smiled. Quickly lower the temperature on whatever she was helping Hannibal to make and rushing over to me. She ran a hand through my hair and smiled.

“You look amazing. I like your hair short” she smiled.

“I was growing annoyed with it, it was time. Honestly I thought I’d be more emotional about it but I never want to have to put my own hair in a ballet bun ever again.” I laughed.

She let out a chuckle. She also kissed the top of my head, perks of being shorter than both your partners I guess.

“Happy Birthday Darling. You look amazing.”

“You do too, that dress looks very nice on you.”

One thing you learn being in a polyamorous relationship is how to share. And how to work through jealously. Most people would be upset if someone wore the same colour as them to their birthday. But it was work of our thing to match our outfits for events like this. For your average Lecter dinner party.

“Oh, Hannibal, Darling I did tell you my friend was coming this evening right?”

“Yes, but you still haven’t given us a name.”

He raised his eyebrow at me. I rolled mine back at him.

“He goes by Chip, he’s an old friend from when I was with the New York company, he’s only in town this evening.”

“That’s nice of him, I’m glad you get to see an old friend.”

I smiled a wide smile, the kind that hurts your face.

“You know I was really nervous to get up and preform that last night.” I said.

Meadow hummed, and Hannibal spoke.

“Nerves are typical before a performance my dear.”

“That’s not what I meant. I love being on the stage, no place I feel happier, besides here of course.”

“Good save.” Meadow joked, shooting me a wink over her shoulder.

“But you guys have never seen me dance like that before. And I guess I was afraid, well you have very high standards Han-“

He cut me off with a pointed stare, and I slowly shut my mouth.

“My love, do you honestly think you could ever disappoint me? I went to your performance every month for a year before that day. It’s not uncommon for artists to have more than one medium, or for dancers to have more than one style. I enjoy the show, because you’re in it.”

I blushed. Of course, Meadow knew he had been to a few of my shows before that day on the roof. But I never told her exactly how many. I’d preformed in front of Doctor Lecter thirty-seven times, and that night would have been the thirty-eight. He never brought a bouquet, only a single flower with its name written in gorgeous red in on a little note from him. H.L. And now, because of his gift from tonight, I had another note for my shoe box. I sometimes read them when I slept alone in my room sometimes. To overstimulated to be next to him, but not wanting to be too far.

“Do you remember what your first note said?” I asked, fondly reminiscing.

“Your performance was as delicate as the petals on this rose.” He let out a small laugh, “not my best work I’m afraid.”

“Yours was the first fan letter that ever stood out to me. And I thought it was adorable.”

“Because it is and now I’m jealous, why don’t I get any cute love notes darling?” She teased.

I watched Hannibal grin wildly, turning to look at her. He hugged her from behind

“Would you like me to write you some love letter my love?” He asked.

She simply nodded, leaning into him. Hannibal chuckled.

“How did I get so lucky with both of you?” He asked dreamily.

I shrugged.

“I don’t know but you’re stuck with us.” I joked.

When everything was all set and ready, it was time to start the party. Hannibal answered the door as usual, and as expected, Alana was the first to show up. Then Beverly, then Will, and last but not least, chip. It was just the right number of people without being entirely overwhelming.

I could tell chip felt a little out of place as he sat at the table, so I decided to introduce him so he wouldn’t have to.

“Everyone, this is chip, my friend from my old dance company” I said.

They all introduced themselves and I could see him relax a little more. Hannibal was plating the food, and I knew we’d all be in for a treat tonight. Much like Meadow, I wasn’t shading our lovers diet, but I made him promise not to serve anyone at my party. This was a special night, I didn’t want to to be tainted.

“You look amazing tonight Frances, are you enjoying yourself?” Alana asked.

Similar to Hannibal, it was hard for her to turn off her analytical mind. Once a therapist, always a therapist. It was something that happened when people were passionate about their jobs. It becomes a core part of their identity, something to be proud of. And why shouldn’t they be, both of them were brilliant. And both of them worked extremely hard.

“I believe I’m having the time of my life” I smiled brightly. “All the people I care about, together in one room to celebrate with me. It makes my heart feel light, like it’s full of butterflies” I smiled.

Hannibal chuckled, taking my hand in his and kissing my fingertips.

“You are adorable my love, Happy Birthday.” He said.

Of course Bev and Alana looked gorgeous as always. Red was absolutely Alana’s colour, it complimented her skin tone. And when we wore it, the colour had sort of a vintage, classy edge to it. And Beverly was the opposite, wearing a muted olive green that made her skin glow. The dress framed her chest in such a way, it made her long arms look dainty, almost as if they were the accessory to the outfit.

Chip was more causal, probably not having packed anything other than the stuff needed for performances and lounging around. I knew how things worked, you always wore something black tie at the last day of shows so the company could show you off. But I appreciated he didn’t wear that suit here. It wouldn’t have been him. He was wearing a simple black button down, with casual black dress pants and a leather jacket over it. It looked nice.

And William, William looked so pretty this evening. His hair was a little longer, like it got when he was too lazy to get a haircut. Showing off his chocolate brown curls. There was sometimes a curl that hung in front of his eyes that I called his superman curl. He was wearing a white button up, with a dark green sweater over. It complemented his skin tone well. But the thing that stood out to me was his hand.

“You painted your nails.” I said, glancing up from my meal to look at William.

Everyone else looked over at him too now. He blushed a little, which was adorable.

“You left you black nail polish at my house. You’re always asking to paint them, so I figured I’d try it out. It’s harder than it looks.” He laughed awkwardly.

I smiled brightly.

“You did a good job, I love them, thank you William. That was so sweet of you.”

He cracked a grin.

“So, I hear you’re working as a dance teacher now?” Chip asked, while clearing his throat.

“Oh, yes! It’s so much fun, I adore those kids. There’s this boy in my class, Damien, and he’s the cutest thing on the whole planet I swear. Damien is shorter then most of the girls, and he gets all shy about it. But when he’s dancing, it’s like he’s never been nervous in his entire life. He reminds me of me when I was younger.”

“Definitely.” He chuckled, “remember how nervous you used to get when you were called in front of the headmistress, little did you know you were her favourite and she was just trying to show you off.”

I blushed profusely.

“Oh?” Hannibal asked.

“She used to stop classes and make me redo the steps alone in front of the class. I always thought she hated me so it pushed me to work harder.”

“That would be quite anxiety enduring” Alana commented.

“Frances was easily the best dancer we had. I was entirely surprised when the company let her go.”

Everyone seemed surprised by that statement. But I was suddenly anxious. I’d never told Hannibal and Meadow why I actually left that dance company.

“Why would they let you go?” Beverly asked confused.

“Oh, ummm, there was this girl, Veronica. She was always jealous of me, I think she had a thing for Chip, and she misinterpreted our relationship and probably saw me as a threat or something. We were preforming one day, and she messed up a leap, falling and shattering her ankle. But she told the headmistress I pushed her.”

“And they didn’t believe you when you said you didn’t?” Meadow was the one to ask.

I shook my head no.

“It’s ok though. I probably would have never moved here if it didn’t happen.” I shrugged.

The rest of dinner was more quiet, until it was the dreaded time for gifts. Beverly was excited and gave me hers first. We had all loved to the living room, to get more comfortable, before desert. I was currently sitting on the floor in between Meadows legs as she and Hannibal sat up on the couch. The box was wrapped in pretty purple paper. It was small, and when I removed the paper it was a little back velvet box.

“We’ll go on Frenchie, open it.”

I blushed, Beverly was the only one who called me that. She liked giving her friends cute nicknames. Bev always knew how to have fun. She made everything a little brighter. I opened the box and gasped.

“Oh mon Dieu!” I squealed, “it’s beautiful!”

I pulled out the necklace, it was a little tear drop shaped vile. With two little rubys on either side, hanging nicely.

“I accidentally cut my hand open the other day, so I saved the blood cause I remembered you said something about these necklaces before.”

“It’s prefect!” I said, “creepy and pretty just like you.”

It was nice how nobody questioned the morbidity of it all. I knew if Jack were here he’d have something to say about it. Next was Alana’S gift, it was a little bigger of a box. She wrapped hers in a simple brown paper, like that of a lunch bag. It was simple, but the wrapping was crisp and precise. I opened the box to find a book. I pulled it out inspecting it.

“It’s a signed copy of IT by Stephan King. Open the cover.” She said happily.

I slowly opened the cover and saw the pretty red pen.

“A gift for Frances on their birthday, stay creepy - King”

I smiled wildly as I read it.

“How did you get him to sign this?” I asked.

“He owed me a favour.” Alana shrugged.

I pulled her into a hug.

“Thank you, I’ll cherish it always!”

William was next. He handed me a box that was bigger than the rest. It was wrapped in black paper with a little red bow on top. It looked like he must have asked Alana for help with wrapping it. I chuckled at the thought of him struggling to make it look nice. Not that it mattered to me, but it was a nice little detail. I opened it to see a black shape, I slowly pulled out a large blanket.

“It’s umm, all your favourite bands. I’ve been collecting the t-shirts all year, and I had a friend make it for you.”

“William,” I said, trying not to cry.

“This is amazing, thank you.”

I swore I’ve never been happier than I was in this movement, surrounded by so much love and people who understood me in a way the world never could. Chip reached into his pocket.

“We’ll my gift isn’t as extravagant as everyone else’s, but I tried.” He laughed awkwardly.

He pulled out a little wrapped cupcake, a birthday candle and a lighter.

“Like old times?” He asked.

And that was when I broke. A tear slipped out of my eye as a I took the cupcake out of his hand and unwrapped it, setting it down on the coffee table, he stuck the little candle in it. I tried wiping the tears from my eyes. Hannibal softly rubbed my back.

“Why are you crying darling?” He asked concerned.

“Sorry, I’m just so happy right now. It’s a little bit much.” I said.

“Aww, Frances you don’t have to apologise for that.” Meadow said softly, “we love seeing you happy.”

I smiled up at them.

“We never really had birthdays growing up, the company didn’t spare much time for outside activities. But every year at midnight on my birthday, Chip and I would sneak down to the vending machine and get a cupcake to split. He’d put a little candle in it and we would blow it out when it hit midnight.” I explained.

“It wasn’t much, but it was the best we could do.” He shrugged.

“It means everything to me, thank you friend.”

I knew Hannibal had made an actual cake, but it felt right to sing over my little cupcake. I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face as I finally blew out the candle. This evening was perfect. By the time everyone left I was exhausted, but my heart still felt fluttery.

“I’m so proud of you Darling.” Hannibal said.

I looked up at him.

“Huh, why?”

“You did so well today. You enjoyed yourself. It was nice to see. How are you feeling, I know you get a little anxious after gatherings.”

“Amazing!” I squealed, “that was the most fun I had in a whole. Thank you, both of you. I know you would have preferred a bigger party Hannibal but-“

“It’s you’re birthday, it isn’t about me. You know I would do anything for you my love.”

I giggled, standing on my tippy toes and kissing him on the cheek. We had finished cleaning everything up and we’re now lazily laying on the couch. My head on Hannibal’s lap and my feet on Meadow’s. We had a horror movie turned on in the background to finish off the night.

“Would you like to know what Hannibal and I got you now?” Meadow asked.

“You got me more?” I said.

She chuckled.

“We didn’t want to overwhelm you earlier by making you open it in front of everyone else.”

“That’s not exactly something you say when you don’t want someone to be anxious Hannibal” I poked fun lightly.

But I was nervous, they already spoiled me way too much. I was afraid I couldn’t handle much more. My excitement had its limits before it spiralled into madness. And that was the last thing I needed right now. To have a full blown meltdown on my birthday. In front of the two people I love most in this world.

Meadow got up off the couch and walked over to the counter grabbing something. She came back and sat back down, handing me an envelope. I starred at it confused. What could they have possibly gotten me? I shakily opened the envelope and pulled out some card stock. I flipped it over in my hands and gasped.

“No.” I said, “you didn’t”

“We’ve already got everything planned my love, you don’t have to worry about anything”

“And what about my bugs?”

“That’s why I pulled William aside earlier, he’s willing to watch your bugs.”

I was about to start crying again. I didn’t mean to, there were just so many emotions happening right now. I rubbed the plane tickets in my hand, just staring blankly at the sealing.

“How long?”

“One month, but we can always leave sooner if you want to and just come back home. My boss gave me time off work, and Hannibal has his schedule cleared as well. We’ve already packed everything for you darling.” Meadow explained.

“Why are you both so perfect?” I asked.

I felt Hannibal’s chest rumble and he laughed. Their distinct sounds harmonising with each other.

“You’re really taking me back home to France for a whole month? There so much I’ll want to show you!”

“Then we leave in the morning my love”

He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

“Happy Birthday Frances.”

“Happy birthday Honey” Meadow said.

We laid on the couch the rest of the evening. Hannibal letting us enjoy watching American Psycho without telling us how inaccurate the whole things was. Tonight was perfect.

An: God this poor woman needed some comfort for once. This chapter was so much fun to write! I hope y’all enjoy it as much as I did 🥰

#Hannibal #Hannibal nbc #Hannibal x oc #doctor lecter #Hannibal lecter #Hannibal au #meadow lecter #Frances lecter #will Graham #alana bloom

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handelplayssims · 1 year

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And we’re back again! This time with a grumpy Ashlynn going off to go fishing! We have the park and it’s small streams, the titular springs in the center, and the housing area. I say it’s time for the titular springs! Incidentally, with Oasis Spring’s being a desert, it’s likely one of the only areas where fishing is still around in the winter time. Which, smart for Ashlynn a little. We’re only getting tiny fish so far in this spring. At least the minnow counted for collection purposes. Bettas are also quite fiesty from what I know. I’d put it in my fishtank at home but we need to mount a fish! Perch...mm. Cowplant Berry at least gives money. AYE! There we go. Tambaqui! And since she’s close to leveling up her skill, let’s go a little longer and catch one more fish. Bass. Classic! And good eating. Still not enough on the skill though so more! More fish! And a second tambaqui. Good haul. Good haul!

Next is to win a competitive game. That’ll involve returning home. Let’s wait for the kids to leave for school first. Right then, let’s gather up some boys! And gals! And play some cards. Let’s go with Lanz, Brad from the streets and Semma. Been awhile since we chatted with Semma. ...I forgot I only had two other chairs instead of three. Semma and Lanz then. I see that, “Ask What Brad’s Deal Is” Social and suddenly remember “oh yeah, I fought against him in the streets. Yeaaah!” You get negative sentiments from that! And apology ought to help with that. Anyway, we got lots of pleasant chatter going around...but no winning yet! So it’s time for the standby. Video gaming. Ashlynn will prove herself to be the best! And there she goes! A game winner! ...but very sad at the loss of some of her social connections. She’s a people person after all, and friendships decay fast for those folks.

Kiara’s back from school and is sleepy and Zayne is hungry. As it goes, as it goes. Back to Ashlynn and she wants to become friends with Seema...but she is friends. Online chat, perhaps. And Santiago is sleepy as well. Nap time. Zayne wishes to become enemies with Megan Knoles. Welp. Might as well. Jesus, this kid’s been combatative. -writes down hot-headed for potental traits upon ageing up-

Megan Knoles is a kid of two sims I created. I have identified her as “queer but will wait until teenage years until we figure out how specifically she’s queer.” I mean, her dad and mother are both bi. Anyway, I realize what this family is. It’s cat-family versus dog-family. Natural rivals!

Definitely a time to mark down hot-headed as a potential trait for ageing up into. Annnd he lost the fight. Welp. Time to delcare enemies (and again, the whim itself is gone, -grumble-) and then head back home. For there is nothing left to do in a dazed moodlet other than sleep! First parent to spot Zayne in his mood is...Santiago. Welp. ...nothing really I can do to talk about the dazed moodlet other than to go into gossip and go “Hey you know this person?” and Santiago doesn’t so he wouldn’t know anything. No particular reason to persue questioning either. But his whim does allow for other questioning! To complete his work task! AKA, go and interview four sims about their life and write about them. Annnnd the toilet breaks down so it doesn’t really m- oh he repairied it quickly enough. Good good. Now to the streets! Very first person he ran into was...Brad! Wooo! Time to interview Brad about himself! A file clerk who’s childish, ambitious and a child of the ocean. -nods nods- Weird for you to be hanging out here but eh. Time to write that article!

Aye! Zayne finished his aspiration! He has all four aspirations finished! Normally I would think about ageing him up but I want there to be a sort of age buffer between him and Kiara a little bit more than there would be. She’s 67 days until ageing up and he’s 39. I’d say she needs to be 30 days from ageing up but that’s 37 days away. And he’s 39 from ageing up into a teen. So we’re just going to let his ageing play out normally.

Now Kiara wishes to listen to music and huh. We don’t have a stereo in this house. Huh. Explains the lack of music tastes around here. I’m giving her a basic stereo to go with, to listen to the blues. Also Zayne decided to pop on over to Santiago and ask for advice. I would have stopped him but eh, he’s dazed and confused. Let’s send him to bed and ohp, Ashlynn is going to bed as well. Hmm. Kiara’s responsibility level is a bit high. I’d have her skip school but- well I don’t remember if Ashlynn wants to go into work or not. Time to double-check annnnnnd yep! It’s not time to go into work with Ashlynn. So we can hang with Kiara and have her skip school for a day.

The monster under the bed comes for Zayne. Santiago spritzes the monster away...and then makes fun of him for being frightened by such a silly thing. Annnd that festering grudge is refreshed. Santiago can now force Zayne asleep at least. And now he’s at level 5 and can ground kids. Woo. And now it’s time for Kiara to sleep. Making it time for-

Neighborhood Watch!

Glimmerbrook: The Malloy household recently moved out.

Windenburg: The Fraley household has moved in.

Keisha Wooley in the Wooley household has died. Keisha tried fixing the toilet and it randomly burst into flames.

Minkz Landis in the Landis household has died. Minkz was victim to a vicious chicken attack.

#sims 4 #liveblogging #ashlynn wallace #zayne wallace #santiago wallace #kiara wallace #megan knoles #packed day! and a nice amount of time spent with near everyone #expect kiara but someone has to take the short end of the straw

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souvenirsofsurgery · 4 years

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Fiction Podcast Recommendations

Because this is the only media I consume anymore. Let’s get the big ones out of the way first!

1. Welcome to Night Vale

The OG. This was the first podcast I really got into and I am very sentimental about it. It’s the funniest and most uplifting piece of horror media I’ve ever found, and I love it for that. And I’m obsessed with the weird worldbuilding, the atmosphere is absolutely perfect. Also, gay main character, which I pretty much require at this point.

It can take a minute to get into if you really want some plot, but I promise some plot is coming.

2. The Magnus Archives

This is a great horror anthology that also ends up having a really interesting overarching plot. I’m warning you right off that bat that it is a tragedy, though, and we’re all anticipating being absolutely crushed when it ends. But! Canonically biromantic asexual main character, which we love.

Similar to Welcome to Night Vale, you’re going to have to be a little patient if you really wanna get to that plot, but it’ll get there.

3. The Adventure Zone

One of my absolute favorites. It’s a D&D podcast, but no D&D knowledge is required to enjoy it (I didn’t play D&D when I first started listening). It’s funny and endearing, and also has made me sob so hard that my family thought something was wrong with me. I still think about the ending of the Balance arc, because I’ve never found an ending in any other piece of media that is so emotional and satisfying.

And as far as representation goes, the first arc has a gay main character, second arc has a bi woman main character, and third arc has a main character who is technically asexual, although that hasn’t been confirmed in canon at this point. Also plenty of LGBTQ+ side characters, including a trans woman (Lup I have a crush on you <3) in the first arc and a nonbinary person in the second.

4. The Penumbra Podcast

Welcome to the queerest thing I have ever seen in my life. Just straight up no cishets around, it’s beautiful.

This one actually has two separate storylines. The Juno Steel one is about a private eye on Mars, and the Second Citadel is sort of an ensemble story in a fantasy setting, and I would highly recommend both of them. Like would you like to hear a noir inspired story set in space with a nonbinary bisexual detective protagonist and a homme fatale criminal love interest? You absolutely would. Or would you like to hear about a knight who is sworn to hunt monsters having an existential crisis because he’s having some feelings about a monster he just had a homoerotic sword fight with? Obviously you would. Listen to this podcast.

Anyway! Let’s get into some of the smaller podcasts!

5. Death by Dying

This one is so much fun. Love the weird vibes of this creepy little town. We’ve got an obituary writer who just doesn’t even seem to realize how bizarre all the deaths he’s writing about are, I’m obsessed with it. As soon as he started reading out the condolences and they were just in-universe ads I lost it, that’s so funny to me and I immediately knew I was going to love this podcast.

6. Kaleidotrope

Fanfiction gays, this one is for you. Here is a college that is said to be magic, where everyone will find their romantic trope and fall in love. The main characters are running a college radio show together, with one of them believing in this magic absolutely and the other being very skeptical. Will they fall in love? :)))))))

This one is so cheesy, and it’s very small so the audio is pretty scuffed, but it’s so sweet and I love it. Both of the main characters are queer and one of them is nonbinary.

7. Brimstone Valley Mall

I’m obsessed with this podcast! Nobody is talking about it and I’m obsessed with it! It’s demons working in a mall in the 90s, who also have a band together. Wtf I love that. One of the main characters is gay, and another one is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns. Please listen to this podcast, I want it to get more popular so badly.

8. The Strange Case of Starship Iris

This one is so sweet and I love it so much. Gay space criminals? That’s everything I love. It also just has so much heart, I want to cry. There’s a bisexual woman main character, another WLW main character, a trans man main character, and a nonbinary main character (who, yes, is an alien, but I will let it slide because there is also a nonbinary human side character).

9. Alice Isn’t Dead

The vibes are impeccable. I listened to a lot of this one while I was on a road trip by myself in rural America, and that is the ideal experience. This is about a woman trucking across America looking for her missing wife. It’s so quietly creepy, and I’ve got a thing for weird Americana. And there are lesbians too, so.

Also, the main character dealing with her anxiety was something that was actually really important to me. I really liked hearing about someone who didn’t “cure” her mental health problems, but grew and learned to manage them better. It was just a very important story to me, and I still think about her all the time.

10. CARAVAN

Every single person involved with making this needs to go to horny jail. I am so serious. You will hear an extended conversation about how, like all of these characters are monster fuckers, and also very audibly hear two characters have sex. So, you know, you’ve been warned.

But, all that aside, this one is about a man who accidentally ends up in this weird hell world, and has to try to figure out how to get back home. It’s really fun, but also gets pretty heavy towards the end. Definitely read the content warnings ahead of time.

This one’s also queer, obviously, with a bisexual man as the main character and some queer side characters (Including Virgil who I do have a crush on. The morally dubious enbies just get me.)

#podcast recommendations #podcast review #lgbtq podcast #queer podcast #welcome to night vale #the magnus archives #the adventure zone #the penumbra podcast #death by dying #kaleidotrope #brimstone valley mall #the strange case of starship iris #alice isn't dead #caravan podcast

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hunxi-after-hours · 3 years

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Reading QianQiu after passively reading enough of your metas that I got faaar too involved without *knowing* anything and I'm *loving* it, so thank you so much! Sort of trying to do my best to read slowly because I unfortunately don't know enough Chinese to read the original and the translation isn't complete (and MTL is not my thing, especially as someone who has worked in translation). Anyways, just wanted to let you know that I love you and your posts and thoughts on danmei, on YanShen, on *flails arms* literally everything. 🥺

Sadly, recently I've sort of seen a lot of anti-fujoshi sentiment around (blocked the tag, but then the guilt-tripping kept churning in my head, so I went down the rabbit hole of discourse and uh, you know how *that* goes), so I meant to ask you something, as you're one of the rare people whose intellect I deeply, deeply respect. I know you've talked about fujoshi and the history of that term in some depth before and I too have looked at other Japanese breakdowns of this thing, but I was thinking that...what *does* constitute "fetishisation"? When does it crossover from shipping into *that* territory? I...struggle seeing myself doing anything of that sort, not because of some egoistic moral purity but because... I've literally blubbered and sobbed, complete with very nice sounding hiccups, over these mlm stories, Hunxi, as I'm sure many of us have too! Maybe it's romanticisation of gay ships, but that's not similar to fetishizing, and mlm... *is* about gay romance so lol. I'm just confused about this deal: what's the line? Is there even one? Shouldn't fetishisation be a concern about...real queer relationships (I tentatively offer the example of idol-shipping) and not characters in fictional landscapes?

sldkfjsdlkj okay first of all anon I want to point out the deep, deep irony in asking someone who identifies as ace to weigh in on fetishization discourse, because someone out there deserves to get at least a chuckle out of that

secondly, I do want to reiterate that I deliberately avoided talking about fetishization discourse in this post precisely because I feel dramatically unqualified to do so, but uhhh sure, guess I'll throw my 0.2 cents below the cut, all imaginable qualifiers apply

let’s come at this sideways, so hold my hand, we’re going on a thought experiment:

let’s say, for purposes of discussion, that there is a man with an Asian fetish. for ease of caricature, let’s say he is a straight, cisgender white man with an Asian fetish. Asian women turn him on; he is interested in becoming sexually and romantically involved with Asian women; he experiences sexual arousal in the company of Asian women; et cetera, et cetera, et cetera

so a fetish is, by its dictionary definition, an object or person, physical or imagined, that causes sexual arousal. An Asian fetish means that Asian women, or perhaps Asian-ness in general (whatever that means to you), causes sexual arousal. still with me?

cool, because here’s the thing about sexual arousal: it has fuck-all to do with consent

arousal is a bodily, physiological response to stimuli (external or imagined), which means that, generally speaking, we don’t have control over what arouses us. people can become sexually aroused by stimuli (pornography, sexual contact) without wanting to be aroused at all. arousal is not a sign of secret consent, or secretly wanting sex. me being allergic to pollen isn’t an indicator of my secret hatred for flowers--it’s a bodily response to external stimuli. Likewise, arousal just happens--it’s an indicator of nothing more, and nothing less, than the fact that something has triggered a physiological response, and it happens to be sexual in nature

so back to our hypothetical straight, cisgender white man with an Asian fetish. he discovers one day that there is a pattern to his sexual arousal, and that he’s really, really into Asian women. okay

I don’t think there’s anything inherently, morally, existentially, metaphysically wrong with having a fetish, just as there isn’t anything inherently, morally, existentially, or metaphysically wrong with having allergies. so your body has a certain response to certain external stimuli, okay! the question that follows, then, is this: what do you do about it?

let’s say our hypothetical, straight, cisgender white man decides to learn more about Asia, since hey, he’s got a vested interest, right? perhaps he begins taking Japanese lessons, which leads to him taking Japanese history courses, which leads to him studying abroad in Japan, which leads to him to writing a dissertation, to getting a P.h.D., to becoming one of the foremost Japanologists in the Anglophone sphere (oh, let’s assume he’s an English-speaker too for simplicity’s sake). He marries his Japanese girlfriend of seven years and celebrates every other new year’s with her family, where he chats up his in-laws with his accented-but-fluent Japanese and never fails to delight the distant cousin who still thinks it’s wildly novel that this white man can speak Japanese and reference anything from history to memes.

He still has an Asian fetish, which becomes relevant in the bedroom, becomes relevant when his girlfriend suggests children and he thinks about it and says sure, you just got tenure and I’m a year away from it, if you really want a kid let’s have one, and anyway they’ve been married for three years so it’s not like this is anything new to them

but back to where we began, which is with a straight, cisgender, Anglophone white man with an Asian fetish. can we say, in this idealized, hypothetical scenario of interracial romance and domestic bliss, that he did anything wrong?

was it wrong of him to study Japan? no, gatekeeping fields of study based on ethnicity is pretty backward, essentialist, and counterproductive. was it wrong of him to date an Asian woman? no, since we’re assuming that their relationship is fully consensual and joyful. was it wrong of him, a straight, cisgender Anglophone white man, who enjoys all the intersectional privileges based on his race and gender and birth and presentation, to date an Asian woman? no, because no single individual person is responsible for global systems of hegemonic, imperialist, and heteropatriarchal power structures that have formulated over literal centuries of human existence. individuals may participate in these power structures; they may be complicit, participatory, rebellious, subversive, but individuals are not, by virtue of the accident of birth, responsible for the existence of structures that preceded them into the world

all of which is to say, I think our hypothetical, straight, cisgender white man with an Asian fetish who dedicated his life to studying Japan and married a Japanese woman has, well, tried his best. sure, his point of departure might have been sexual arousal, but he didn’t stop there, didn’t let that become the end-all and be-all of his relationship with Asian-ness

so it seems to me that the problem of fetishes is not that they exist, but in how we respond to them--which is to say, the transition from ‘fetish’ to ‘fetishization,’ the verbifying of the noun in question

fetishization is a problem when it reduces the object (or person, real or imagined) to nothing more than its sexual purpose. when Asian women are reduced to nothing more than sexual objects, flattening their complexity and humanity into nothing more than a thing that inspires sexual arousal--that’s a problem. or hmm, what else gets slapped with the ‘fetishization’ label... oh sure, why not--loyalty kinks (also known as fealty kinks, often seen in bodyguard-client dynamics, or soldier-commander dynamics, or vassal-lord dynamics). is there anything inherently wrong with enjoying those dynamics, or portrayals of these dynamics? no, of course not--these relationships can be incredibly powerful and moving, in fiction or in reality, and there’s a saying somewhere about babies and bathwater that seems relevant here. the point is, if you reduce these relationships of intense loyalty and devotion to nothing more than the fact that you get sexually aroused by them, that’s where I think you’d run into trouble

so, back to the original question: where does enjoying a mlm relationship in a text end, and fetishizing mlm relationships begin? well, if the above logic extends this far, then the line is drawn at the reduction of mlm relationships to nothing more than the consumer’s sexual arousal. the line’s a bit wonky in fiction/media because, like--look, if it’s pornography or PWP fic, the whole point of it is sexual arousal, and we are not getting into a discussion about the morals of pornography--but again, the line is drawn at action, and specifically action that affects other people. if our hypothetical, straight, cisgender white man with an Asian fetish decided not to go out of his way to do anything about his Asian fetish (we’re not going to condemn him for what he does alone in the privacy of his bedroom, but let’s say he doesn’t catcall Asian women or stereotype them or make advances upon them either), then like. idk, that seems fine to me, you’re not obliged to make a sexual fetish your life’s driving purpose either, that’s like saying everyone with a foot fetish has to become a podiatrist and uhhh that seems a little ill-advised but that might just be me

this is getting stupid long again sdflskdfjslk but I think the tl;dr of it is that it’s perfectly fine and normal to have a fetish, just be critically aware of how it motivates your actions and the way you think, speak, and act (and how your thoughts, words, and actions affect the people you interact with). reductive fetishization doesn’t have to look like catcalling women on their street based on physical appearance; it might look like a blockbuster movie that reduces other people, aesthetics, or cultures to sexualized and exoticized set dressing with no complexity or critical examination. it might look like romanticizing or sexualizing fictional queer relationships and forcibly projecting that fictional romanticization/sexualization onto very real queer people and attempting to reduce them to your personal fantasies, regardless of their own experiences, feelings, beliefs, and desires. it might look like blithely or belligerently ignoring cultural complexity and historical context in favor of the specific interpretation that turns you on

tl;dr for real -- just be respectful and aware of how your preferences and biases influence the way you speak and interact with other people, especially in fandom spaces, and idk you’ll probably be fine

#uhhhhhhh does this belong in the tag I'm throwing it in the tag #hunxi thinks about danmei and gender #idk I do think that danmei is very much about female fantasies and female desires in East Asia #idk how much of it is actually about gay men #the concerns over danmei literature appropriating gay male voices are valid I think #but it's also not something that most of us have any qualifications to speak on #tl;dr keep a solid head on your shoulders and don't make sweeping generalizations about people or culture based on portrayals in webnovels #um #tw fetishization discourse #I think?#that being said if folks could stop fetishizing 知己/知音 that'd be lit thanks

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zintranslations · 3 years

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Kaleidoscope of Death, Ch. 115

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Novel Updates

Chapter 115: The Door That Can’t Be Opened

As for how exactly they were going to repurpose this traitor, Ruan Nanzhu didn't say. The scariest things were all unsaid, however; Tian Guxue's entire soul was now overran by terror. She trembled so hard she couldn't even speak.

"What do we do for now?" Sun Yuanzhou asked. "Just leave her here? Isn’t that risky?"

"She can still do something else for us," Ruan Nanzhu hummed.

Sun Yuanzhou was thoughtful.

"Open chests?"

"Yes," Ruan Nanzhu said. He looked at Tian Guxue, and spoke lightly. "You haven't opened any chests today right? Even so, you probably know where the Hako Onna and Hakobito are…right?"

Tian Guxue looked up at Ruan Nanzhu, panicked. "I don't know!!"

"You don't know?" Liang Miye scoffed. "If you don't know where the Hakobito and Hako Onna are, how do you open any of the chests? You're not scared to find one of them?"

"It's like this. Before I open a chest, if there's a Hakobito or the Hako Onna inside, the chest makes a sound…" Tian Guxue stammered. "And then I'll switch to a different chest to open. The Hako Onna warned me though that there can't be anybody beside me when I open the chests, so…"

Ruan Nanzhu lifted an eyebrow.

"You've already opened boxes today?"

"Mh," Tian Guxue nodded carefully.

"Fine, then we'll confirm what you said tomorrow," Ruan Nanzhu said.

If Tian Guxue was telling the truth, then she would be very useful to them. This way, she was a functionally a probe that could identify where the Hako Onna and Hakobito were.

Ruan Nanzhu asked Tian Guxue about a few more details, such as how she made contact with the Hako Onna. When asked about the rulebook, Tian Guxue told them that on the first day they arrived, she'd found the rulebook in the first-floor dining room. It had been in a corner, and the Hako Onna told her to look there.

"But how come I didn't see the rulebook?" a young woman from the crowd asked. She was the person who’ first heard the Hako Onna cry when they came into the mansion, and the cry had come from the kitchen, so she'd gone to look around inside.

"Maybe I got here before you," Tian Guxue answered carefully. "By the time you went…I'd already taken it."

That was certainly a possibility. While Tian Guxue's explanation made some sense, it still made Lin Qiushi's forehead pucker…He'd detected a strange discrepancy in Tian Guxue’s words.

Ruan Nanzhu didn't say anything either, deep in thought. He didn't say what he was thinking in the end though, just began discussing what to do about Tian Guxue with the group.

Tian Guxue was most scared of being killed. When she saw that they didn't want her life, she released a huge breath of relief.

In the end everybody decided to shut Tian Guxue in her room and assign someone to guard her. There was no harm in not opening any chests, after all, and the number of Hako Onna's powers had not yet reached six.

While everybody was discussing these things, Ruan Nanzhu stood aside in silence. Though his eyes were on Tian Guxue, his gaze seemed to go right through her, landing somewhere faraway.

"What is it?" Lin Qiushi sensed that something was off about Ruan Nanzhu.

"Nothing," Ruan Nanzhu answered lightly. "Just thought of something from the past."

So Lin Qiushi didn't press. He only took Ruan Nanzhu's hand with a squeeze, transferring the warmth of his palm to Ruan Nanzhu.

At their interaction, Sun Yuanzhou once again tossed them a queer look. That look really was far too complicated, and Lin Qiushi far too confused…He really did want to ask now exactly what Ruan Nanzhu had said to Sun Yuanzhou.

Once the matter was decided, everyone made a deal to not discuss this anywhere else, in case the Hako Onna caught wind of it.

Sun Yuanzhou took Tian Guxue to her room and had someone stand guard.

The rest of the group split up and ordered the guard shifts. Someone would take over every two hours.

With everything settled, everybody dispersed.

Lin Qiushi took a brief look at the chests that Tian Guxue said she'd already opened, carefully marking them on top. Of course, to prevent the Hako Onna from noticing, they didn't mark the chests with sticky notes.

The entire way down Ruan Nanzhu was quiet. The way he seemed deep in thought made Lin Qiushi feel oddly uneasy.

"What's on your mind?"

"I'm thinking about my last tenth door," Ruan Nanzhu answered.

"Was it scary?" Lin Qiushi had noticed that Ruan Nanzhu never seemed to be in a good mood when he mentioned his tenth door.

"It wasn't," Ruan Nanzhu said. "But I'd rather it’d been scarier."

Lin Qiushi, "what do you mean?"

Ruan Nanzhu was about to answer—but then he seemed to suddenly recall something. Glancing over at Lin Qiushi, he said instead, "it's nothing important. A good friend died in there, so I'm just a bit sentimental."

Lin Qiushi's brows furrowed. He felt that Ruan Nanzhu was intentionally keeping something from him.

If they could get through today, then tomorrow, Tian Guxue could open three more chests for them with an absolute guarantee of dodging the Hakobito and Hako Onna. This was thoroughly beneficial for them.

Ruan Nanzhu was assigned to guard Tian Guxue from nine to eleven PM, which wasn't too late of a time slot. Lin Qiushi tried to stay with him, but Ruan Nanzhu shooed him off.

"Go get some sleep first, you have a shift after me," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Go on."

Lin Qiushi said, "but I'm worried about you."

Ruan Nanzhu just laughed, reaching out and taking the tip of Lin Qiushi's ear in a pinch.

"What are you worried about, that I'd cheat on you?" Immediately after saying this, he ducked in close to Lin Qiushi's ear and exhaled a superheated breath. "Don't worry, I only get hard for you."

Lin Qiushi, "…"

Man, Ruan Nanzhu really could make this old face of his blush. After such a turn, he’d completely forgotten what he wanted to say, and was chased off to his room by force. Ruan Nanzhu, on the other hand, entered the room holding Tian Guxue.

Liang Miye was already sprawled heartily on her bed, all washed and cleaned. Seeing Lin Qiushi come in, she said, "yo, you're not keeping Mengmeng company?"

Lin Qiushi said, "he let me come back first."

"You guys have such a nice relationship." Liang Miye was currently doing a face mask. "Jealous!"

Lin Qiushi watched her: "we're inside a door, and you're doing a face mask?"

"Why not do a face mask?" Liang Miye batted her eyes before really getting into it. "Oh don't you know, they all say face masks are the most effective inside the doors. Outside, the mask just goes on your flesh, but inside, it goes right onto your soul. It's true inner beauty. And cost-effective."

Lin Qiushi, "…" He didn't know what to say, all of a sudden.

Liang Miye too saw how Lin Qiushi had gone dumb, and began to guffaw.

"Beauty is a woman's second life!"

Lin Qiushi held up both hands in surrender.

"I agree."

After washing up in the bathroom, he returned and lied back in his bed. He didn't start playing on his phone though, instead began to contemplate the matter of Tian Guxue from the day. As he was deep in thought, however, there came the sound of the Hako Onna's cry from downstairs. Sharp and despairing, it sent a flood of goosebumps over all its listeners.

Reflexively, both Lin Qiushi and Liang Miye shot up in bed.

“She's using another power?" Liang Miye said.

"Mh." Lin Qiushi recollected every power card they currently had and all the powers that'd been used. The Hako Onna's cry right now was a bit bewildering.

The only power the Hako Onna hadn't used was "Moving Things." Aside from that one, all the powers had already been used once and returned to the card pile. And there was a cool-down time before it could be used again, so the Hako Onna was currently using "Moving Things?"

No…Something was off…They'd missed something. After coming to this conclusion Lin Qiushi grew a bit agitated. Judging by her actions inside this door, the Hako Onna wasn't any more foolish than they were, so why would she use this power for no apparent reason?

"What is it?" Liang Miye watched as Lin Qiushi changed from his pajamas once again into his daywear. "You're going out?"

Lin Qiushi said, "mh. I'm going to see Mengmeng."

He just couldn't stop worrying, pushing open the door and rushing out.

"Oh," was all Liang Miye could say.

Very quickly, Lin Qiushi made it to Tian Guxue's room and gave the door a knock.

"Zhu Meng, Zhu Meng."

He'd thought Ruan Nanzhu would be quick to open the door for him, but for a long moment, there was no movement inside.

"Zhu Meng?"

Lin Qiushi called a couple more times, feeling something was truly wrong. He was about to fetch a hairpin to open the door when Ruan Nanzhu's voice came from inside, sounding a bit sunken.

"Linlin, I'm fine. Go rest, you don't have to come inside."

"What is it?" Lin Qiushi asked. "What happened?"

Ruan Nanzhu said, "nothing. I'm just worried about someone coming in, so I've locked the door."

Lin Qiushi was silent.

Ruan Nanzhu, "really, I'm fine. Go sleep, and come relieve me later."

Lin Qiushi looked down at the locked room door, still not saying anything. He got out his hairpin and began picking it.

Ruan Nanzhu seemed to sense Lin Qiushi's actions, his tone growing agitated.

"I've blockaded the door. You can't come in here, Yu Linlin, can't you just listen to me for once?" He sounded very impatient. "I have to do something important, don't be such a nuisance. Yu Linlin, are you listening to me?"

Lin Qiushi completely ignored him, continuing to pick at the lock.

"Linlin!!" Ruan Nanzhu seemed truly angry now. "I said stop opening it!"

Lin Qiushi stopped. Slowly, he pressed himself to the door, voice gone hoarse like something had gotten caught in his throat. He said:

"Zhu Meng, you lied to me."

Ruan Nanzhu fell silent. He knew Lin Qiushi had discovered the truth.

"It's not that you won't let me in, it's that you can't come out…" Lin Qiushi couldn't describe at all how he was feeling in this instant. It was like he was standing at the edge of a black abyss, watching Ruan Nanzhu fall and utterly incapable of stopping it. "There was never only one mole."

Ruan Nanzhu didn't reply.

"The Hako Onna got a new power," Lin Qiushi said, "didn't she?"

False Answers, Open This, My Doll Mary, I'm Behind You, Moving Things—right now, the Hako Onna had gathered these five powers, but before him, Ruan Nanzhu had been struck with the Hako Onna's sixth power: Locked Door.

"Locked Door"—the Hako Onna could lock any door she designated. Players inside the room couldn't pass through and could only be trapped inside.

And at the same time, the Hako Onna had already gathered six powers. Once tomorrow came, she could make her move again, and use the bottom-most card "I'm Behind You" to kill every single person inside a room.

Without question, her target was Ruan Nanzhu.

There was never just the one mole. Tian Guxue was simply the diversion that the Hako Onna tossed them. There was someone else among them who'd hidden a power card, and told the Hako Onna which room Ruan Nanzhu was in.

The key to escaping was on Ruan Nanzhu's person. Once he was gone, one path to survival for the players would be completely cut off. Additionally, the discovered mole Tian Guxue would also be taken care of. It truly was killing two birds with one stone.

Lin Qiushi said, "don't worry, there's got to be a way. Hang on, I'll go get someone!"

From inside the room came silence, and then Ruan Nanzhu's faint, faint exhale.

Lin Qiushi remembered it was one of Sun Yuanzhou's people who'd opened up the fire extinguisher, so he went to Sun Yuanzhou's room, banging on the door in a state of complete anxiety.

Seconds later, Sun Yuanzhou's door opened. He saw Lin Qiushi panting roughly outside, and exclaimed, "what happened?"

"Where's your fire extinguisher?" Lin Qiushi asked. "Zhu Meng's shut in the room, and the Hako Onna's going to use 'I'm Behind You' tomorrow…Where's your fire extinguisher? The key's on Zhu Meng, she can't die."

Sun Yuanzhou startled.

"What? What?? She's shut in a room???" He seemed to immediately recall the explanation for the Hako Onna's power. "The Hako Onna's already found 'Locked Door'?"

Lin Qiushi, "we can talk about it later, where's the extinguisher—"

The fire extinguisher could stop the Hako Onna from using a power once. It was the only thing that could save Ruan Nanzhu now.

At Lin Qiushi's question, Sun Yuanzhou unconsciously pressed his lips together, expression awkward.

"It's…It's gone. We're also looking, but we haven't been able to find it.

Lin Qiushi, "…"

Sun Yuanzhou's two other teammates had gathered around inside the room as well. One of the women heard what they were saying, and spoke up quietly, "sorry about that. The extinguisher's really too heavy, so I didn't carry it on me. I hid it under my bed but when I got back today, it was already gone."

Lin Qiushi said, "it's really gone?"

He took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down.

"Let's be clear about this. If Zhu Meng dies, the Hako Onna's going to get the key from her. At that point we'll have one less method of escape."

He did his best to persuade them from an objective point of view, not wanting to get too personal.

"I understand. If we had it, we really would help you. You can come in and look if you'd like, search the room all you want." The woman was also helpless. "It really is gone. We were just discussing what to do about this."

She didn't seem disingenuous, and when she even moved aside from the doorway for Lin Qiushi to come in, Lin Qiushi knew they likely weren't lying. Fists clenching, he rasped, "pardon me," and made to leave.

But Sun Yuanzhou stopped him with a call.

"Yu Linlin! You said the Hako Onna got Zhu Meng. Doesn't that mean there's another mole among us?"

"Isn't that obvious?" He shot a cold look at Sun Yuanzhou over his shoulder. "Without another mole, why would your fire extinguisher go missing?"

"It might not have been the mole who'd stolen it," Sun Yuanzhou said. "It might just be a greedy group member…"

Lin Qiushi didn't respond, just took off.

Since they'd lost the extinguisher, then Lin Qiushi had no reason to keep wasting his time dealing with them. He lifted his wrist to look at his watch. There were still two hours until twelve, so he had to find a way to save Ruan Nanzhu within the two hours.

Some people crumbled in the face of danger, while some became even calmer. Lin Qiushi was of the latter. He quickly went over the current situation and all the clues they had in his mind, rushing to think of a way to save Ruan Nanzhu.

When she didn't see Lin Qiushi return, Liang Miye too left their room. First thing she saw was Lin Qiushi squatting before the door at the end of the hallway with a solemn expression.

"What happened?" Liang Miye ran over.

"The Hako Onna got him with a power," Lin Qiushi said. "He's shut inside with no way out."

Liang Miye was stunned.

"Which power…There's another mole among us?!"

She'd never imagined things would develop like this. Finding Tian Guxue was supposed to have been the end, but who'd have thought it was only the beginning—

There were actually two moles. Tian Guxue had only been a minor player tossed out as a smokescreen.

"So what do we do?" Liang Miye was panicking.

“You go find the fire extinguisher,” Lin Qiushi told her.

He gave a simple account of what happened at Sun Yuanzhou's, and sent Liang Miye to look room-by-room for the fire extinguisher. They only had two hours, and the mansion was huge. Whoever hid the fire extinguisher, in order to keep them from finding it, would surely keep it somewhere incredibly well-hidden, so searching for the fire extinguisher wasn't an especially wise method.

But they had no other choice. Lin Qiushi could only send Liang Miye to look while he pondered other methods.

"Zhu Meng." Lin Qiushi spoke to Ruan Nanzhu from outside the door. "You have to think, is there any other way?"

Ruan Nanzhu was so much smarter; he'd definitely be able to think of a method.

But the person inside was still keeping silent. Only after Lin Qiushi's repeated coaxing did Ruan Nanzhu finally say: "Linlin, this is a dead end."

Lin Qiushi froze. He pressed against the door, and asked in utter disbelief: "What did you say?"

"This is a dead end."

"What…"

Ruan Nanzhu, "you went to look for the fire extinguisher just now, right? Did you find it?"

Lin Qiushi didn't reply. They both knew the answer—had he found it, Lin Qiushi wouldn't be speaking to him like this.

"That person is smart. To have done all of this, they must have thorough with every detail," Ruan Nanzhu said. "I underestimated the enemy. Come closer, there's something I want to say to you."

Lin Qiushi pressed his face to the door. It took all his effort to control himself and not start shaking.

Ruan Nanzhu spoke quietly to him: "I don't have the key on me. I've hidden it in the crack behind the headboard in our room. Remember to grab it."

Lin Qiushi didn't speak.

"Linlin, I'm glad to have met you," Ruan Nanzhu said. "I hope you can get out of here alive."

"No," Lin Qiushi said.

Ruan Nanzhu, "what?"

"I said I'm not fucking getting out of here without you. Dammit Zhu Meng, what your heart must be made out of." Lin Qiushi swore as he so rarely did. "How can you say such a thing to me? How can you be so heartless?!"

Ruan Nanzhu couldn't reply.

Lin Qiushi, "I'm going to get you out of there, do you hear me? I'm getting you out!!"

He turned and picked up a decorative statue in the hallway. He began to slam it against the door.

But what had once been a wooden door that couldn't even really be called solid was currently cast-iron. It didn't budge an inch, and he couldn't leave so much as a dent. After smashing at it for a bit, Lin Qiushi knew this wasn't going to work.

"Just hang on."

At this point, many people had left their rooms and came out into the hallway, dumbfounded by the sight of Lin Qiushi breaking down the door. Sun Yuanzhou stood afar and explained the situation to them, and once he did, expressions of shock or fright appeared on everybody's faces. Clearly, they'd all realized there was another mole among them.

Lin Qiushi set down the statue, expression terrifyingly cold. From the crowd, he picked out the person he was looking for.

"Ren Ruyuan, give me the gasoline."

It wasn't up for discussion. Everybody could tell that if Ren Ruyuan refused, Lin Qiushi was very likely to attack him right then and there.

"Okay." But Ren Ruyuan agreed. "The key's with Zhu Meng, right?"

"Yes," Lin Qiushi said. "If she can't be saved, we'll all die here."

His tone was simple and not at all harsh. But everybody who heard him felt an odd chill go down their backs, because while this sounded like exaggeration, it didn't seem like Lin Qiushi was kidding at all.

He brought the can of gasoline to Ruan Nanzhu's door, and said, "Nanzhu, I got the gasoline."

"And how will you give it to me?" There was exasperation in Ruan Nanzhu's voice.

Lin Qiushi said, "the edges of the door. There's space along the edges. I'll go to the dining room and get some plastic bags, seal the gasoline inside, and push it through the edges. You'll catch it on the inside."

"Okay."

So Lin Qiushi went to the dining room and grabbed a few dozen resealable bags. He poured the gasoline bit by bit into them and then pushed them through the cracks around the door to Ruan Nanzhu. He didn't know if the gasoline would be of use like this, but he could only do his best with what was available.

After that Lin Qiushi sent people to keep looking for the fire extinguisher, but just as Ruan Nanzhu predicted, that person had the fire extinguisher hidden well. Nobody was able to find it.

By the time Lin Qiushi got the gasoline inside the room, there was less than twenty minutes until twelve o'clock. He looked down at his gas-stained hands, and for the first time, got a taste of true helplessness and desolation.

He was utterly useless. He couldn't save Ruan Nanzhu.

[Ch. 114] | [Ch. 116]

#kaleidoscope of death #xi zixu #cnovel #chinese translation #死亡萬花筒 #VIBRATES #y'all know shit's serious when i can't include the first line above the cut

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kaypeace21 · 3 years

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Rebel Robin podcast (ep 3 &4 analysis)

For those who haven’t read them yet. Here’s the analysis for podcast ep 1&2. Analysis of Rebel Robin book-here. And eastereggs from rebel robin novel- here.

So the main things I noticed in ep 3 was how Robin spying was shown as a huge NEGATIVE-and Mr Hauser got upset over her doing so. Robin listens to mr. Hauser’s phone call (like Karen with Mike in s3/ us gov spying on calls in s1) & on a different occasion Robin also eavesdrops on a private convo he is having with someone else in his classroom ( like El spying on Mike talking to Lucas in s3). And when he finds out about this he tells her how wrong it was to spy on other people like that. In the past, I also talked about how the theme of spying is shown for many other st characters ( in the show) and how it isn’t romanticized like people think it is- here .

Anyways , Ep 3 ends with a call from a h*mophobic teen( Dash) telling Robin to “stay away” from Mr. Hauser cause he’s “dangerous”. Why he thinks he’s dangerous is solely for the fact he’s gay.I think this theme may come into play in s4 Hawkins (in relation to the satanic panic). In ep 4 Robin jokes to (gay) Mr. Hauser : “ So what are you into... satanism?” (Sadly most queer people have been told over and over we’re going to hell for being gay/lgbt+. it’s sadly an almost universal experience.) For those unaware- the ‘satanic panic’ was a right wing christian movement in the 80′s that WRONGLY associated certain things with supposed satanism. Just some of the many things they demonized : rock music , stephen king , wearing black, horror/fantasy media, and of course queer people and d&d (hellfire club - the name is a a xmen ref but in the show it’s probably an inside joke about the satanic panic and people being scared of d&d). We see foreshadowing of the satanic panic hinted in s3 (in relation to d&d)- on tv the narrator asks if “satanism” (pans to d&d set) is to blame for the odd occurrances in Hawkins. And given how the s4 el-trailer had the clock say 3:00am for the “witching hour” also called “the devil’s hour” since it’s supposed to be a subversion of jesus dy*ing at 3:00 pm. And the possibility s4 may take place around Easter. I think we’ll see that religious (Christian) extre*sm causes many people in Hawkins to interpret the supernatural as ‘satanic’. And no , I’m obviously not talking poorly about all religious/christian people).

After this Mr. Hauser jokes how Hawkins is like “lord of the flies” and how he “worries” what would happen if teens were left to their own devices-like in the book. The themes in the book mostly focus on the dangers of ‘mob mentality’ and how human beings can become v*olent and turn on each other- if the safety of civilization disappears...

This I believe is foreshadowing - i mentioned in a post a while back (here). How movies on the s4 list had the theme of : a supernatural event indirectly causing towns people to act irrationally and turn on eachother v*olently. Despite literal monsters attacking them from outside (they chose to turn on eachother instead). In the end some townspeople become the real monsters via mob mentality/v*oence/false witch hunts (the mist, the birds, etc). In ‘the birds�� (while people are hidding in a store)- they wrongly blame certain characters for the supernatural chaos. Similarly, in ‘the mist’ (crowd of townspeople are trapped in a store) and some start interpreting the monsters as being sent as punishment by god- some town’s people start quoting the bible and saying the only way to stop the punishment is to start “sacrificing the s*nners and nonbelievers”. BIG YIKES.ST references mapple street (where the wheelers and sinclairs live). It’s based on the twilight zone ep of the same name “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street” .The ‘monsters’ of that episode -were the townspeople turning on eachother because they incorrectly think their own neighbors are part of an invading supernatural army. The enemy was actually the paranoia/mob mentality-not the supernatural force they feared. And yes i do think this concept is linked with 80s satanic panic and will cause some town division/obstacles for our heroes to deal with . **I also think the s4 bts of the Hawkins blood clinic-may be used to show h*mophobia (linked to satanic panic) in the town. Like in one s4 movie “paradise lost”the punk rock boys who were into black clothes, rock music , horror/stephen king books- were accused by the town’s people of being gay AND have demonic powers that are k*lling fellow town’s people.

Mr Hauser says he thinks steve Harrington is Ralph from lord of the flies. And Robin disagrees saying he’s Jack. Personally- since this was when Robin didn’t know/hated Steve. I think Mr hauser is right that Steve is Ralph (one of the oldest boys) who’s “commitment to civilization and morality is strong”. But Jack (perhaps the popular s4 kid Jake?) and his savage crew take control of the group and start trying to attack Ralph and his friends (steve’s crew- over satanic panic?). How this begins is -

Jack, torments Ralph and others. And some kids begin to develop savage personalities, after someone claims to have seen a Beast (demongorgan?) in the woods. This creates fear among the boys, which allows Jack to access more power.Ralph gets into an argument with Jack, who splits from the tribe. Many of the other boys follow Jack, who uses fear to manipulate the boys into leaving Ralph. And Jack’s crew begin attacking Ralph and his friends.

----------------

Ok, next topic of ep 4- the sentimental part of my brain got emotional when hearing how upset Robin was. And than Mr Hauser-telling her she’s wrong and she’s not “broken” or “rotten” and “nothing about her needs to be fixed’” (got me right in the feels) . As a queer person- I feel like every lgbt+ kid/teen needs to hear what Mr. Hauser said to Robin.

However, the analytical part of my brain -did notice some easterggs/ series parallels.

The convo starts with them talking about music Mr hauser likes (such as Bowie). And transitions to Mr Haauser asking about things she likes, whether she’s being bullied, and he later tells her “ DON’T let other people’s small mindedness make you fell bad about yourself. you don’t need to change yourself-no matter what anyone else says” . And Mr Hauser than says him calling her the “weirdest girl in Hawkins” was a compliment (not an insult-like she initially assumed).

This is remarkably similar to certain scenes in s1/2. In s1, Jonathan mentions musicians he likes such as Bowie, asks Will about what he likes, and tells Will “don't like things cause people tell you you’re supposed to-especially not him (their dad who called him h*mophobic names)” . In s2, Jonathan tries to cheer Will up after asking if he's being being bullied. And calls Will “a freak” (and says it’s a good thing) and he should be content with being a “freak “ and compares Will to Bowie ( who was openly queer since the 70s) .

In ep 4, Robin also mentions how sad she is that her parents won’t let her ride her bike anymore cause their paranoid about her safety (like what happened to Will in s2).

Robin (before Mr. Hauser comforts her) says she feels like she has a “rot” inside her . This is a s2 eastergg that could be linked to either Will or El. Will says his now-memories are “growing”, spreading”, and killing.” Later Kali says the emotional pain caused by her father caused a “wound” to “spread”. Later allusion-Brenner tells El she has a “terrible wound “ (“a rot”) that Will “grow, spread, and kill.”

The reason Robin rants about feeling like she has a “rot” inside her is because she’s being bullied, and lost all her Hawkins friends and says “maybe I’m broken maybe there is just something about me that drives people away? I’m the only common denominator-there’s something wrong with me! There’s something inside of me that’s just rotten and there’s nothing i can do to fix it”. Which 1)-poor Robin. 2) I feel like could easily be How Will feels in s4(who will be the same age as Robin is here in the podcast)- his dad abandoned him, all his hawkins friends are gone , the st s4 movies have h*mophobic bullying in them (and he was bullied in the past). In a interview Noah said Will in s4 “doesn’t really get along with people-it’s just him and Mike.” I think it fits more so with Will than El . But they may feel similar: it’s implied in s4 audition tapes she’ll be bullied too, she moved away from her friends, and her father (Hopper) fake “passed away.” It could easily be how both Will and El feel in s4- that there is something “broken”/ “rotten” about them . In fact, in the rebel Robin novel there is even a character named Sheena. Sheena reminds me a bit of a mix between Will and el . She is very quiet, queercoded, and is often bullied. And she finds mean notes and other things stuffed in her locker- placed there by bullies. A bit like how Will found the zombie-boy note in his locker. A teacher doesn’t stop her bullying just blames her and says “ This wouldn’t happen if you made it just a smidgen easier for PEOPLE to understand you.”(sort of reminding me of that Noah quote about s4 Will not getting along with most people/Jonathan saying not to change himself cause “people” say to). But sheena can be another name for Jane (there was also a 80s show character named Sheena who was psychic) so ...maybe foreshadowing of el/jane being bullied in highschool? Along with Will?

*It’s not a eastergg/parallel...just speculation. Unlike the rebel robin book... in the podcast (in multiple episodes) almost every time she opens up to Mr Hauser about her problems she says it’s ok for him to do the same and she’ll be supportive and listen. However, Mr Hauser (so far) always rejects her offer-much to her hurt/frustration. In ep 4, she asks if he has someone his “own age” he can talk to about his problems-which he says he does. Now... since in ep 4 Mr hauser is paralleled to Jonathan maybe Jonathan will have someone his own age to talk to about his problems (maybe his new friend Argyle?) We see similar to Mr Hauser giving advice/pep talks to (gay) Robin. Jonathan is always giving advice/peptalks to our (gay-coded) Will. But so far- Jonathan has no one he really emotionally leaned on in the same way (Will does with Jonathan). I also wonder if Will in s4 starts gets tired of how he always confides in Jonathan (but Jonathan never does the same with Will in return)? Like Robin with Mr. Hauser?

#robin buckley #steve harrington #will byers #el hopper #jonathan byers #stranger things #stranger things theory

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valkyrieskwad · 4 years

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i put a spell on you (because you're mine)

ao3

hi all! here’s the contribution i made to @supercorpzine this year!! it was a blast getting to work with so many talented people. hope it brought a little light to everyone’s 2020, we can sure use it.

Kara Danvers has an awful habit of making Lena feel like she's falling apart.

It's a familiar sentiment in some ways—as a struggling nineteen-year-old witch, Lena's grown accustomed to falling apart over the simplest things about her magic, about learning spells and potions and figuring out her own identity enough to do incantations with any real meaning—but the way she falls apart about Kara feels different.

Maybe it's because they live in the same apartment, or because they finish each other's sentences and have the same taste in music and food and old English literature. Maybe it's because they spend their weekends getting lost in the aisles of antique bookstores, smiling too big as the dust collects in their hair, getting too excited about old newspaper clippings used as bookmarks stuffed between browning pages.

Maybe it's because Kara spends two hours every day meticulously looking after their house plants, chatting to them about her day with her golden-blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, and the sun bouncing off of her sharp blue eyes.

Maybe it's because Lena's in love with her, because she's absolutely hopeless for Kara, and she couldn't snap out of it even if she wanted to.

The two of them are like tree trunks planted right next to each other: separate roots and branches, but grafting together in the middle, growing taller and taller into something too intertwined to be anything other than inseparable.

"I was thinking of leaving," Kara whispers one night, completely out of the blue. It's late and they're on the couch, snuggled together underneath their quilted blanket—the first one they ever made together, decorated with different colored owls. Lena's eyes feel heavy, but she blinks them open as Kara shifts in closer and adds, "After I graduate, I mean. I feel like there's just so much of the world I still haven't seen yet, you know?"

"Mmm," Lena hums, but then it all catches up to her and she opens her mouth to say, "Oh," sucking in a deep breath and swallowing past the lump suddenly growing in her throat. "What do you feel like you haven't seen?"

"I haven't seen anything," Kara sighs, and it's like her words burn for some reason, etching hot across Lena's skin like a freshly inked tattoo.

Lena feels like she's seen everything living here. She feels so in tune with the land around her, that she hasn't really thought of being anywhere else for a while now. Southern Oregon may not be the most interesting part of the country, but it's the only place that Lena's ever found a sense of community. It's the only place she's ever felt like she can be queer and a witch and magical and accepted. It's the only place she's ever felt a part of something larger than herself without feeling like she's being completely drowned out.

It's where she met Kara. It's where she fell in love. It's where she wants to stay.

"I didn't mean it that way," Kara says a few seconds later. "I just, I hear you and Andrea talking about all the things you've seen, and I feel like I want to see those things, too. I feel like I'm missing out on the world. Just being here."

There's a too-long pause that settles over them, but Lena eventually finds her voice to say, "If you want to see the world, I think you should," and then she tries not to think about what that means for them.

There are two things Lena remembers from her very first junior-witches potions class: 1) the first time she met Andrea and the way she smiled as she told Lena about solstice festivals and candle magic, about crystals and La Virgen and her immeasurable love for Santa Muerte, and 2) how serious the professor's face looked when she said, "Under no circumstances should you ever make a love potion."

They were nine years old, and the idea of a love potion made them both giggle and roll their eyes, adding more ingredients to their boiling pot as Andrea went back to talking about bonfires and spiced cider, evergreen and mistletoe and clove-spiked apples and oranges.

If anyone had asked her back then, Lena would have said she'd never make a love potion.

"But Santa Muerte would accept you even if you did," Andrea had said.

Lena remembers that too.

She thinks about that when she does decide to make a love potion, when her head keeps spinning because Kara said she wants to leave, and Lena knows she wants to stay. She thinks about it as she adds each ingredient, whispering over and over that if she loses Kara, she'll lose herself too, like it's liturgical almost, an incantation, her way of broadcasting her strongest intention so the spell can get it right and Kara can love her, and they can stay here together, happily, forever.

She thinks about it when she decides the love potion is a bad idea, when she hides it in the back of the fridge because even if Santa Muerte will still accept her, she's not sure she'll be able to accept herself.

It's a tough decision, but it's the right one.

So, she pushes it to the back of her mind, tells herself it'll all be okay, and then she tries to sleep as best as she can.

She doesn't expect her world to end when she gets home the next day, when Kara meets her at the door and takes a deep breath, sighs, smiles, clears her throat, twiddling her fingers together as she says, "Sorry, but I might have eaten your stew in the fridge."

"Excuse me, what?" Lena asks, letting her backpack clunk to the floor, taking several deep, deep calming breaths before she asks, "My stew?"

"Yes," Kara says slowly, cheeks pinking up. "I'm sorry, I was just. Hungry. But it was delicious if that makes a difference."

Lena can't breathe. "The one in the back of the fridge?"

"Yes," Kara says again, blushing even harder, and heat floods through Lena so fast it suddenly feels like she's drowning. "The one in the glass Tupperware that was hidden behind the milk. The thing you always do with the food you don't want me to eat."

"Why'd you eat it, then?" Lena whispers.

"I don't know," Kara admits. "But if you give me the recipe, I'm sure I could make it for you again. I'm really sorry."

"It's okay," Lena tells her, heart pounding, head swirling, because Kara looks hopeful and beautiful and Lena doesn't know how to tell her how much she royally messed up, how that stew shouldn't have been in the fridge in the first place, how it's written in the preface of 86% of spellbooks to never make a love potion, let alone leave one lying around. "I was just going to throw it out, anyway," she adds with a smile.

She's pretty sure her life is over.

"I think I did something not good," Lena announces, and Andrea closes her book as she looks up at Lena, eyes glinting like she knows this is a big enough deal to warrant her undivided attention. This is, in fact, that serious. As a Scorpio sun Libra Venus, Lena absolutely hates complicated, messy situations, and this is as messy and complicated as it gets. "I need to talk to you about it."

"What kind of not good?" Andrea asks immediately.

"It’s not like, the end of the world, but it actually is the end of the world. I made a love potion that Kara ingested on accident, and I'm freaking out," Lena explains, shoulders inching their way to her ears as a blush inches its way across her cheeks. "I think I'm in trouble."

"Holy crap," Andrea mouths. "That's not good."

"Yeah, you're telling me," Lena groans, then she plops down on the couch next to Andrea and sighs, scuffing her shoe against the old wood of the apartment floor. "I don't think she even knows we're witches."

"What do you mean?" Andrea asks, leaning over so she's knocking shoulders with Lena. "I'm sure she's pieced it together by now."

"Yeah, maybe," Lena frowns. "But I'm pretty sure she thinks we're witches, but not witches. You know, the ones who make lavender salve and herbal tea and talk about tarot readings and natal charts. The ones who carry crystals around and garden and do candle magic without ever really knowing if it works."

"We are those kinds of witches," Andrea points out.

"Okay, yes, but we also do real magic, and we know it works. Crap," Lena groans, leaning forward and pressing her face into her palms. "How did this happen? I could get suspended from doing magic and lose Kara as a friend."

"Hey, it was an accident," Andrea reassures her, draping herself over Lena's back to hug around her. "I'm sure if you talk to her, you can fix this. It'll be okay, I promise. You'll be okay."

"I'll be okay," Lena repeats, and then she keeps saying it in her head until she feels like she believes it.

"A love potion?" Kara asks, and she's decidedly not upset. She's not even incredulous. Lena got so antsy she blurted everything out in the middle of making dinner, right after she dropped the colander three times and couldn't focus to save her life because she was so freaking flustered. So now Kara's standing next to a half-minced onion, slowly blinking her eyes with her arms folded across her chest, and she's... smiling. "You made a love potion?" she asks again, like this whole thing is funny and Lena's not falling apart. "Who'd you make it for?"

"I - well, I made it," Lena starts to say, then she takes a deep, sputtering breath, rolls her eyes, and huffs, "Who else would I have made it for?"

"Me?"

Lena sighs. "Yes, you. Because - well, because I want you to stay, but also because. I don't know," she finishes lamely. Then she takes in a long breath, presses her nails against her palm, and just says it, almost too quiet, but she's overwhelmed and feels dizzy. "Because I'm in love with you."

"I wasn't going to leave you behind," Kara says instantly, and Lena feels a bit relieved she just ignored the whole love thing. "I mean, I want to explore the world with you, it just - it came out wrong when I said it, and I got too nervous to fix it. But I always want to be with you. I want to go everywhere with you. You feel like home to me."

"Oh," Lena whispers. She was expecting a lot of things, but that wasn't one of them. Not those words, not phrased that way. She didn't expect Kara to just say that. "What are you saying?" she asks, just to clarify, looking down at her hands and trying her best to hide how flushed she feels.

Kara responds by taking a step forward, and then another, sucking in a nervous, shaky breath, and then she's leaning forward and kissing Lena—on the cheek at first, and then the corner of her mouth, and then she pulls away.

"I'm saying I already loved you," she says, stepping in even closer, filling Lena's space with so much comfort and love and warmth, that Lena feels a little like melting. "I'm also saying," Kara stretches out, and Lena can sense she's smiling before she looks up to see it, eyes latching on to Kara's too-pink lips, perfect and glistening even in the dim, 50-watt kitchen lighting. She's so pretty it's incomprehensible sometimes. "I didn't actually eat the stew. I sort of dropped it on the floor, but I thought it'd be better if I said—"

"Kara," Lena gushes out, like a reflex, like a breath of fresh air, like Kara's the most frustrating person she's ever met in her life. "You're kidding."

"I'm not," Kara says, smiling wider, then she fits her hands on Lena's waist, and Lena swallows, cheeks burning with both nerves and anticipation, and happiness.

Her brain is still stuck on the fact that she wasn't expecting this when Kara kisses her again, on the lips this time, but that doesn't stop her from closing her eyes, from pressing up and opening her mouth and kissing back until she's breathless.

"God, a love potion," Kara laughs, right against Lena's mouth, and then she goes back to kissing her again.

#supergirl #supercorp #kara danvers #lena luthor #supercorpzine #my writing

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midground · 4 years

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I had some loose change jangling in my pocket, so here’s 2 cents from a Beaujester shipper (who’s been on board with this ship since the pirate arc) about why I don’t share the sentiment that the cast “forgot about” Beaujester. This got long, so I’m putting it behind a cut.

I don’t think it’s weird that Beau isn’t talking about/acknowledging her feelings for Jester. I don’t think it’s weird Beau has pivoted in her outward displays of attraction towards Yasha. I don’t think it’s a sign that the cast had a big discussion over the hiatus where they made some showrunning decisions about which relationships would become canon. Though to be clear, I am in full support of every D&D group having open, honest, out of character conversations about what sort of content they want to see in their games, especially romantic content. So if that is what happened, good. That’s healthy consent-based communication babes.

Since her confession in episode 85, the vibe I’ve gotten from Beau is that of someone who is struggling to bury her feelings for her unattainable friend. Someone who is so convinced that she doesn’t have a chance that she decides the best course of action is to ignore the feelings until they go away and quietly move on without ever telling her crush and risking jeopardizing the friendship.

This is Relatable Content to me! I’ve been there, I’ve been there several times over, for several different reasons. Sometimes that reason was the person I was crushing on was straight. Sometimes the reason was I assumed the person I was crushing on was straight. But I’ve been there.

I think Beau’s (subtextual, not explicitly stated) decision to try to move on from Jester was amplified by returning to her hometown so soon after her confession, and her subsequent crisis of self-worth. Think about the moments we got while Beau was spinning out, letting some feelings slip at the Stones, but only when she was drunk. Putting herself down. Making fun of Jester’s old name. Think about pre-Kamordah, in Rexxentrum, Beau trying to get her own room when she thought she had an excuse to get some distance from Jester (and caving immediately when Jester turned those big, sad eyes on her).

I’ve seen a few posts going around from other Beaujester shippers who are hurt and confused by what seems like a huge tonal shift between episodes before and after the hiatus. But I really, really do think that if you go back and watch from episode 85 on, you’ll see that Beau started pulling away from her feelings almost immediately after her confession. Hell, she tried downplaying her feelings DURING her confession. Telling Veth made it real, made it scary, made Beau want to try to put some distance between her and Jester so that the inevitable let-down was under her control (a CONSTANT self-destructive pattern we’ve seen with Beau!)

Similarly, Beau’s outward displays of attraction/affection to Yasha ALSO started resurfacing pre-hiatus! Think about the fish-market conversation at the live show. This seemed like evidence to me that Beau was trying to redirect her energy towards someone attainable. And let me just say, I am ALSO a Beauyasha shipper, and this is not being said to disrespect the ship or say that Beau’s feelings towards Yasha are somehow lesser.

But I have ALSO been in the position before of trying to get over an old crush with a new (or at least different) crush. Beau has always been very frank about her attraction to Yasha, and finally, with Ashley back for good, Yasha was in a position to flirt back.

Beau was looking for a “safe” way to get over her feelings for Jester, went to lean back on her old habits of flirting with Yasha (the “safer” move, something she’s done literally since the two of them met) and, to her great surprise, Yasha has been responding in earnest. There’s a separate post I could make about how many episodes Ashley has been back for, how long it takes her to get comfortable at the table (about 8-10 episodes), where Beau and Yasha’s heads been at for the past 20 episodes, and why we’re seeing a ton of Beauyasha interactions now. But from my perspective, Beauyasha coming to the forefront now makes perfect sense.

So with Yasha to focus on, someone who is openly queer and responding to her flirtations, and with no sign from Jester that she’s interested in Beau (at least from BEAU’S perspective, I do think there is a valid reading of the text where Jester is struggling with her sexuality) I don’t think Beau will confess to Jester as things currently stand. I think Marisha put the ball in Jester’s (Laura’s) court. And I think, unless something MAJOR happens, that Jester will need to be the one to make a move.

But I’m not done yet. Let’s talk about how the cast negotiates the spotlight when it comes to individual arcs. Because I think that’s another piece to this puzzle. When a character has an individual arc come up, the cast works to center that character to a larger degree within the narrative. Looking to them to make big decisions, taking cues from them when it comes to how they want to approach a situation/what content they want to deal with, making space for them to have big character-defining moments.

Travelercon is Jester’s arc. It is Laura’s time to decide what struggles Jester will be dealing with and what Jester-related subplots she wants to bring to the foreground. And I think, if we’re all being honest, we expected Travelcon to be Jester’s moment to make some decisions about what she wants romantically. Early Jester was very romance-focused, and I think many of us assumed that Travelercon would be her time to allow Jester’s romance subplot to shine.

But instead, what we’ve been getting so far is about a crisis of faith and the struggle to articulate and center your own needs within your friendships. With a little bit of “learning that you can let yourself be upset around people who care about you” for flavor. (And these are all very good themes, I’m totally digging the current arc!)

But the bottom line is, if you take my reading of Beau’s motivations and actions as even somewhat accurate, Marisha put the ball firmly in Laura’s court. Laura has chosen not to address it. Yet. And I do mean “yet”! Travelercon isn’t over. Technically, it hasn’t even begun. We don’t know what else Laura wants to do with Jester’s time in the spotlight. I’ve always theorized that Laura would wait for a Jester arc to make any big romance moves, and that may still be coming. The cast is taking their cues from Laura right now. Laura has chosen not to explore Jester’s romantic options (yet). A lot of the cast very obviously ship Beauyasha, so they’re happy to celebrate when the two of them have shippy moments together.

None of those things say to me that Beaujester is done, just that we’re focused on other things right now. I don’t know where the story is going, but I seriously doubt they’re just never going to address Beau’s feelings for Jester again. Maybe it’s because I ship both Beauyasha and Beaujester, but I’m happy to just sit back and let the story run its course for a bit.

#critical role #beaujester #beauyasha is talked about (respectfully) but is not the focus of this post

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do-what-the-knight-tells-you · 4 years

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Farewell Wanderlust and Gender: an Incomplete Analysis

Okay a thing I really dig in Farewell Wanderlust is this section that Joey sings:

I’m the face that stares back when the screen goes to black

When your mum says ‘you look healthy’ but you know she means you got fat

I’m the tales that the guests will applaud and believe

I’m the child that you just didn’t have time to conceive

I promise you I’m not broken

I promise you there’s more

More to come, more to reach for, more to hurl at the door

Goodbye to all my darkness, there’s nothing here but light

Adieu to all the faceless things that sleep with me at night

This here isn’t make up, it’s a porcelain tomb

This here is not singing, I’m just screaming in tune

And I think partly it's because these are not necessarily sentiments you often hear from cis men? Which, I know, he starts his part singing "she said", so he's clearly meaning to take up the (same?) female role from the earlier part of the song, but it's still a voice we read as masculine doing the part, we still know it's Joey... And if it was just the makeup line, like, okay, some men wear makeup, esp performers/actors etc.

And the comment about your mom noticing your weight, yeah, definitely men get that shit too... But we're starting to stray into territory that is more familiar, or at least more familiarly portrayed, as being shit cis women have to deal with.

But him practically yelling, or growling, in frustration on

the child that you just didn't have time to conceive

followed Immediately by

I promise you, I'm not broken, I promise you, there's more. More to come. More to reach for..."

Again, I am sure there are cis men who get nagged and shamed for not reproducing, but that sentiment, the way it's phrased, followed by "I'm not broken" just reeks of every cis woman who ever dared to do something other than have kids in her early-mid 20s, in a family like that. Whether for career/financial reasons, or because she wanted kids, but wouldn't settle for less than a really compatible partner and hadn’t happened to meet one yet, or Literally Any Reason and she's at that family get together and all the fucking aunties are twittering away about how she's running out of time, wasting her life/opportunity for family, not filling the role she ought, what's wrong with her? And whether she wants kids eventually, and Really just hasn't had time/reached that point yet, or she Doesn't, and this Is The Plan, Fuck You, I Am Not Broken, maybe this Is How I Want It and it's NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS what my life looks like... !!!

And so to hear a voice we perceive as male express those sentiments, that frustration, it's deeply different and satisfying in a way that is distinct from if Madeline were singing those lines. Those things would still be true, the lines are I think technically still coming from the same character...

But honestly, for me, that switch, him delivering that section in particular, gives me, personally, Big Trans Vibes.

So long to the person you begged me to be

S/He’s down. S/He’s dead.

Now take a long look at what you’ve done to me?

The singer doesn't have to be FtM necessarily, plenty of room for a non-binary reading, and plenty of just general Queer sentiment (the concept of "queer time" comes to mind here-- in brief, the idea that for lots of folk under that umbrella, because it often takes them longer to sort their personal desires/presentations/identities out than it does more cis/het/allo folks, they often experience a 5-10 year [varies significantly, I'm pulling those numbers out of thin air and personal experience] "delay" in hitting life stages that said cis/het/allo folk would. Steve and Melissa might be high school sweethearts, or meet in college, and get hitched and be having kids in their 20s, But Skylar, say, didn't start dating dudes as a dude until he was 25, so if it takes him five or more years to date around (and around a smaller pool, probs) and find a good partner, he won't be ready to start working on kids until at least his early thirties, and depending on the ways in which his and his partner's reproductive situation are or are not compatible for the Making of Children, it can take them even longer to unlock the Nuclear Family skin-- assuming that's even something they are interested in! Life stages at really different ages; queer time).

So yeah, it was really easy for me to drop a trans lens on this one: he's at this gathering, a wedding or whatever, and maybe he's newly out presenting as male, or maybe he's been this way, been presenting this way, for a goddamn decade, and that does not fucking stop the people who continue to approach him as though he was still the girl they thought they knew. And so he's still getting all the misogynist bulshit, the hetero/cisnormative expectation that “she, oh my goodness oops, *giggle* he” really would be happy if she he would just give up all the queer stuff, or career stuff, and maybe put a little more care into her his appearance, and then she he would be able to find a husband already and get down to the respectable business of producing and raising children!

And maybe he wants kids, he literally just hasn't had time between capitalism and going through a second effing puberty, what do you want Linda, I'm not broken, I am absolutely the person I am supposed to be and I have So Much Time and future in front of me still precisely because of how shit the last few years have been, how hard I've had to work, how bold I've had to be. Have you ever completely up-ended your life and risked burning every bridge you've ever known in order to be the healthiest/happiest version of yourself in your control? No? Then Fuck. Off. Linda. And farewell.

#farewell wanderlust #the horror and the wild #amazing devil #joey batey #madeleine hyland #reading too much into lyrics probs #but i wanted to articulate a vibe i've been prodding at in my heaed since I first heard that song #cool thing aboout music #and poetry #diff stuff will resonate differently with diff folks #trans stuff #gpoy

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sophiexteresa · 4 years

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Thomas Sanders Instagram Q&A Transcript

From @thatsthat24’s Instagram story, 25/8/2020. Questions in bold. Text added to the story in (parenthesis/brackets), and descriptive info in *italics*. I tried uploading the video(s) too, but Tumblr is having issues, so here’s the transcript only!

Thomas: I had some time this evening so I figured, hey, why not? Another lil’ Q an’ A, so if you want to ask a question *posh French voice* be my guest!

When approximately will the next sanders sides be out? Very good question! Uh, we are aiming this for a late September release, that’s what we’re all working towards.

Favourite musical you have been in or just favourite musical in general? This is really tough, I can’t decide. I’m between Rent where I was in the ensemble, Peter Pan where I played Slightly Soiled, which was just one of the lost boyos — boyos? Boys — and, uh, Into The Woods where I played Cinderella’s prince and that’s where Roman’s first costume came from.

Are you ever gonna due your hair purple again? I loved it! Yes! I miss the purple hair too.

Do you love me? *laughing* Yes of course! I do love me.

What would each of the sides’ reaction be to seeing the Grand Canyon? *speaking very quickly* Roman would be revelling that we made the journey, Patton would be marvelling at the memories being made, Logan would be telling you to look at these fascinating signs for important information, Virgil would be telling you to ‘get back from those cliffs!’, Janus would be telling you to take pictures to make it look like you’re next to the cliff, ‘for clout’, and Remus would be like *Remus voice* ‘you could push somebody and get away with it’.

Also when will we get more Picani, I miss him? You and me both, Bri, and honestly with the amount of amazing cartoons that have come out recently *sighs while smiling* yeah, I am a-hankering (?) to get back to Emile!

How have you been doing, like really? Mental health is important as you teach us: I feel like everybody’s kinda struggling with mental health right now, especially people in the USA with COVID. Uhm *clears throat* for me I continuously struggle with the balance between work and leisure time, um, social media makes that difficult, blurs the lines, and I’m working on it.

Do you have any tattoos? Umm, I don’t, uh, I struggle with the permanence of tattoos. And like do I, can I, make a decision that I like? But! There are tattoos that I might like. Where I’d put them, I have no idea, umm, but I think like, maybe like, little stars!

What rank of “Gay” are you? Big gay? What rank? *speechless pause* uh... General. You know? I wanna do my duty. Come back a hero. An all-American Queero *gets an idea* *roughly quoting Hamilton* Queer comes the General!

Can you please make Logan day something Patton would say? *Logan’s voice* Something Patton would say? Umm... please, I request more baked goods from the kitchen so that I can fill Thomas’s body with more trans-fats at 3 am. I don’t know, I don’t like this game.

Have you ever dated a girl? *awkward silence* I have. It was pretty uneventful.

Do you miss your friends? *laughs* Oh... *face crumples as if he’s about to cry*

What are you voice acting in or are you now allowed to say? Not until tomorrow.

When did you know you were gay? I think I answered this one on the last Q&A, but it was early. I was like, 9 or 10 at least.

When will we see Gavin? Gavin has started school! He’s back in his hometown, so I don’t know when I’m gonna see him. He’s still getting taller — I can actually include a picture of him that his mom sent me after he got a new little hairdo *insert photo of an awesome Gavin here*

Do you miss vine? For like, sentimental reasons, yes. Uh, I mean, technically it had its issues and I don’t miss being restricted to 6 seconds anymore *laughs*

What has been your favourite part of the day? My favourite part of today was actually... I came up with this last minute short video, and I got it done and I sent it to some friends and they really liked it. I have to save it until Thursday thought, but it’s just nice to come up with stuff that makes your friends laugh.

Janus acting like Remus? *Remus’ voice* Remus here! Looks like the Dukey just dropped in! *Remus’ laugh* *Takes a breath and snaps into Janus’ character* I spend a lot of time with him so I’ve had a lot of practise.

Why do I feel like we’re gonna have another angsty Virgil moment? When is Virgil not being angsty...?

Please can you say trans rights? Uh, heck yah trans rights! I, uh, this one was very simple but I wanted to say it!

Do you think Virgil would be into anime? Actually, if you remember from, uh, Accepting Anxiety, uh, part 2, there’s actually a Death Note poster in his room, so he definitely likes some anime.

Hi! Can you say hola to the Hispanic fanders in el vecindario fander? Please? We love you! Oh my gosh, *a very naturally american pronunciation* hola! that’s very kind of you guys. I appreciate all of the support you guys give, and I love all of you guys.

STORYTIME! I love you: *upbeat voice* Storytime! I love you back.

How gay are you? Like, 15 gay! I rank General!

How did you end up meeting and babysitting Gavin? Gavin is actually Leo’s nephew, so he would come up here, uh, during the holidays or during the summer, and alternate being baby-sat between me and Leo’s mom - his grandma.

What was the inspo for Janus’ outfit? Ooh, that’s a really good question, uh... Joan had a vision in their mind for almost kind of like this early 20th century or late 19th century kinda Jack the Ripper vibe.

Any advice for gaybies to fit in with society? Don’t apologise for being yourself. If people have an issue, that’s their issue that they have to work through. Do not apologise for being yourself.

What type of gay are you? (Math gay, plant gay, caffine gay, etc): Wait, there’s such thing as a math gay? I am absolutely that, and I feel like I’m just gonna be naming traits about myself but I’m a trivia gay, a driving gay, apparently a math gay, a Disney gay *laughs* and a theatre gay.

Not a question but I’m glad to be alive at the same time as someone as great as you: Dude, this stuff is really sweet. *laughs* That’s really sweet, umm, trust me, I feel the same way about all of you. Honestly.

Why don’t you own a doggo yet? I... went to Petsmart today - I didn’t get an animal, but like... I’m thinking about it and this question is like... hmmm...

I’ve run out of cartoons to watch, any recommendations? Owl house! Owl house, owl house. I just tried it, and I immediately got hooked. Infinity train’s also a really good one, duck tales is amazing, and I’m getting ready to start Tangled: the animated series, so *shrugs*.

What is Patton’s opinion on rats? *adorable Patton voice, slowly zooming in on his face* They are tiny little squishy precious babies!!!

How do I ask people for their pronouns? I don’t know, I mean, I don’t think it’s like a big deal? I hope we could get to the point where we could just be like ‘what are your pronouns?’ and then they would tell you, and then you’d just, you know, carry on the rest of your conversation.

A circle has no bounds and it’s the same with your beauty: This is really precious, and it of course came from Nash (?) who is a poet, he published a lot of wonderful, wonderful poems on twitter, they are are amazing, and you are once again far too sweet, Nash.

Dream role? This is a pretty broad question, so maybe dream theatrical role would be Sweeny Todd, dream movie role would be anything in the marvel universe, uh, really just give me anything in any voice acting role, *smiling mischievously* egg rolls are also really good.

Can Remus please say ‘I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand’? *Remus voice* I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand! (love that vine)

Are there still plans for the Roman series? *nods* Oh, yeah, yeah, it was definitely hindered by COVID, uh, as was this Sanders Asides episode that’s coming up, which is why it’s taking longer in the editing stage, it is our, uh... strategy, for circumventing the obstacle, and we hope you like it.

Are we still getting an August playlist? Uh, heck yah you are! But honestly, actually, if you guys have any suggestions I should include in the playlist, lemme know! I’d be happy to get some suggestions - but yes. You will be definitely getting one.

May I please see your feet? *confused, slightly disgusted expression* *begins to move the camera away from his face* *holds up a tape measure, extended to 1 foot long* *grins*

Any shows on Netflix to recommend? Umbrella Academy is really good, Dragon Prince, uh, She-Ra, of course, umm The Hollow (?) is really cool, there’s a documentary about video games called High Score, that was really fun.

Roman, who would you say the gayest side is? *Roman’s voice* Oh, we’re all equally gay, okay? *chuckles* it’s a sexuality, not a personality trait. *takes a breath and speaks quickly* I’m just kidding it’s *sings* meeeeee!

If you were not a YouTuber, what would you see yourself doing and why? Uh, maybe putting my chemical engineering degree to some use. *laughs awkwardly* Uh, I went to school for 5 years for that one.

Like you literally make me so flipping happy: I’m glad! I don’t know what I’m doing to do that, but the feeling is absolutely mutual.

Can we have Virgil saying “Falsehood”? *hair already over one eye, in Virgil’s voice* Uh, c’mon, okay, sure. *very quietly and unenthusiastically* falsehood. Is that good? Is that? I don’t know, I don’t wanna steal his bit.

Which Sanders Side do you feel you embody most? Ah, I would probably say it’s either Patton or Roman because Patton can be definitely me, all the time, just really enthusiastic about things and finding things cute, but Roman... Roman’s sensitivity, oh. That’s me.

What was the first job you had? I actually worked as a page in a library! A- pages basically just kinda like, shelve books, check books out; it’s one of the chillest jobs I’ve ever had, one of my favourites, and my dad always had a lovely dad joke for it: ‘you’re working as a page, when do you get promoted to a book?’

How tall are you? I usually say 5ft 10, but I think I’m trying to be a little more realistic with myself. And I’m probably 5ft 9 and a half. *zooms in on his face, staring into the camera* I’m holding onto that half a foot for all dear life.

DROP THE SKIN ROUTINE PLEASE! This is very sweet, uh, I, *laughs nervously*, uh, I use Curology? They’re very nice. Umm, just... different kinds of lotion, I guess. (I suppose I should write down what I do lol)

Can we get a FALSEHOOD? *is standing* *clears throat* *points upwards from his eyeline* FALSEHOOD!

Do you have a boyfriend if not are you planning on dating soon? I do not, uh, dating is kinda difficult right now midst COVID, you know, kinda tough... love... in the time of Corona... umm, but, you know, option’s open.

When was your first kiss? I’m sure I’ve answered this somewhere, it was in high school, I might have been 15 or 16. It was with a girl. *Shakes head* And all I can remember is hitting teeth. A lot.

Can we get a super super vague hint about the new Asides episode? Alright, I’m getting ready to end the Q&A, so this, you know, if you’ve made it so far you deserve this super vague answer, umm... it includes a side that was not in the last episode. (This isn’t much, I apologise lol)

Thomas: And that is it for this evening! Thank you so much, you guys, for watching. I know some of you are still over in Europe watching and it’s like 4 in the morning, and I need to go to bed so thank you all so much for your questions - I gotta do this more often ‘cause I really enjoy it. Love you guys, gals, and non-binary pals. Peace out!

#edit: if you want to see the video(s) then please feel free to ask and i’ll try to send it to you! thanks so much #WOAH #This took me literaly hours to write up #probably 5 or so hours #i've been at it all day #anyhow tags!#thomas sanders #sanders sides #tss #tssides #ts roman #ts patton #ts logan #ts janus #ts remus #ts virgil #ts #if there's any corrections i need to make please tell me since i'm too tired to re-read

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richincolor · 4 years

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The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen

Tiến loves his family and his friends…but Tiến has a secret he's been keeping from them, and it might change everything. An amazing YA graphic novel that deals with the complexity of family and how stories can bring us together.

Real life isn't a fairytale. But Tiến still enjoys reading his favorite stories with his parents from the books he borrows from the local library. It's hard enough trying to communicate with your parents as a kid, but for Tiến, he doesn't even have the right words because his parents are struggling with their English. Is there a Vietnamese word for what he's going through?

Is there a way to tell them he's gay? A beautifully illustrated story by Trung Le Nguyen that follows a young boy as he tries to navigate life through fairytales, an instant classic that shows us how we are all connected. The Magic Fish tackles tough subjects in a way that accessible with readers of all ages, and teaches us that no matter what—we can all have our own happy endings. [Image and summary via Goodreads]

Review: Full disclosure, I pre-ordered The Magic Fish months ago because every time Trung Le Nguyen's art came up on my Twitter feed, it was breathtaking. Incredible art and a fairy tale focus? I was on board right away... and I'm so glad I was.

The Magic Fish is something special. I've said it before and I'll say it again -- it really feels like we're living in a golden age of queer graphic novel storytelling. From Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me to Witchy and Mooncakes, there's just so much incredible stuff that's released in recent years. The Magic Fish is in good company -- it tells the story of young Tiến as he struggles to find the right words to tell his parents that he's gay, all among the backdrop of grief and loss, and fairy tales, in their many forms.

It's a beautiful read, and the way the story unfolds -- visually and narratively -- is an impressive feat. The Magic Fish expresses so much of what I've struggled to articulate to myself about what it means to be a child of immigrants, to struggle with language barriers, to find solace in fairy tales and faraway lands, while trying to find a story where I belong.

The Magic Fish is a must-read. Not to get sentimental, but reading The Magic Fish as a queer Asian American was so comforting, and for that reason, I want everyone to read it. Look, it's good! Read it!

Recommendation: Buy it now! This is such a gorgeous and poignant graphic novel, and you'll want to read it over (and over, and over) again.

Further reading: In many Asian languages, 'LGBTQ' doesn't translate. Here's how some fill the gaps.

#the magic fish #graphic novel #queer ya #lgbtq ya #book review

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kingofthewilderwest · 4 years

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"#just because you have a bias about certain socioeconomic groups which tend to listen to country doesn't mean" // Yup. I tend to side-eye folks who are like "I like all kinds of music except country and [Insert a genre of music usually associated with Black creators like rap and hip hop]" You're not slick, ppl. I know what you're saying.

^^^^^^^^^ You hit the nail on the head.

It’s racial bias. It’s socioeconomic bias. It’s bias against people groups who have less respect and say in society.

From my tags on this post:

#don’t get me started on a long rant of the progressive side of country music and what’s been progressive FOR DECADES#from times near its BEGINNInGS#through the modern age#just because you have a bias about certain socioeconomic groups which tend to listen to country doesn’t mean#that that’s actually what the genre is or who the artists are#I could go for a LONNNNG time about this#a LONG time#some of the best protest songs I know of today’s current political situation#are country#or have like ya’ll forgotten about the folk revival#of the 1960s#or…#gahghfnfddhgnghfngh#I AM GAY AND I LISTEN TO COUNTRY#NYEH!!!!

Now. I understand disinterest in a genre because it’s not your aesthetic, but when people express their feelings for country, R&B, hip-hop, etc. …the dialogue isn’t casual “It’s not my thing.” The dialogue is a hateful, passionate retaliation.

Other genres aren’t treated like this. It’s normalized and encouraged to hate on country and rap. These genres are systematically treated with less respect and that disrespect culturally arose because these genres are associated with less-respected demographics.

(Country music is associated with people of low socioeconomic status, for people who aren’t explicitly aware.)

Anecdotally: I’ve caught something interesting about anti-country music sentiment. Many people tell me they can’t stand the “twang.” Half the time, I’ve noticed that their internalized definition of “twang” isn’t the vocal technique; it’s that they can’t stand the presence of a Southern accent. And hooboy does that have TONS of sociocultural bias issues. As a linguist, I’ve read endless sociolinguistic studies about how Southern dialects are treated as “lesser,” and how speakers of the dialect are automatically judged to be less intelligent, etc. It’s not good, folks.

Sometimes, to help friends get out of their anti-country mindset, I’ve “tricked” them into liking country. See, genres like bluegrass grew closely out of Scots-Irish folk music. Often, we’re playing the same tunes on both sides of the Atlantic. So I play a few instrumentals, my friend goes, “Oh! I love Celtic music

The biases against those demographics color how people view the music. There’s endless things that can be said about hip-hop bias, holy shit. I won’t focus on that today because I don’t believe I am qualified to be a spokesman. Someone who understands that genre better, and other genres associated with the African-American community, and is African-American, would be a better human to listen to than me. I defer to their knowledge and experience. It’s hella important to understand what bias has been reflected against those genres.

But there’s just as much bias against country music, against another demographic. And I’ve found it wild how it gets treated on places like tumblr, which wants to stand up for underprivileged groups, but somewhat inaccurately associates country music as “anti-gay conservative evil white person music” rather than music of people historically of lower socioeconomic status.

Yes, some of the demographic that listens to country music or plays country music are bad apples. But like… thinking the music is JUST THAT is a huge disservice to what country actually is and who the music artists actually are.

The history of country music is one giant collaborative melting pot of people from many different cultural backgrounds. Broad West African influence. Mexican influence. Italian influence. German influence. Scots-Irish influence. Cherokee influence. More. Early record labels like OKEH foolishly separated “hillbilly music” (presumably white folk music) from “rhythm and blues” (presumably Black folk music) without understanding the constant racial, demographic, regional, and cultural cross-pollination that occurred between the musicians from country music’s origins. And while there ARE certain issues in country music’s past and present, and we can’t let those issues go forgotten, that’s far from the whole story. We shouldn’t romanticize issues, but we should acknowledge that this music genre has given us major strides too.

Country music is the banjo, brought from Africa, combined with the mandolin, brought from Italy, combined with the fiddle, brought from Ireland, combined with the guitar and the dobro and the accordion and the upright bass and the electric guitar and the electric bass and whatever instruments you want to put in there.

Country music is African-American musicians like DeFord Bailey, the first radio star ever introduced on the Grand Ole Opry (THE most revered country music hub out there), blues harmonica performer, playing to crowds decades before segregation was de-legalized. He toured with white Opry musicians who treated him as one of their own. It’s soul music genre pioneer Ray Charles producing a studio album entirely dedicated to country music hits like “Hey Good Lookin’” from Hank Williams. It’s country star Charley Pride, who despite the racism against him in the 1960s rose to fame and made audiences fall in love with his beautiful voice. It’s the African-American musicians who inspired many commercial country stars, like Arnold Shultz influencing Bill Monroe and the railroad workers inspiring Jimmie Rodgers.

Country music is stars like Johnny Rodriguez and Rick Treviño, singing country music in Spanish, and using obvious Latin flavors in the genre.

Country music is filled with badass women like the ladies who STARTED THE GENRE ROLLING IN THE FIRST PLACE, Sara Carter and Mother Maybelle Carter (whose guitar style is hugely influential to this day) and Maybelle’s daughters Helen, June, and Anita; the first female music manager in the music industry, Louise Scruggs; songwriters like Felice Bryant and Loretta Lynn; the most awarded female artist in Grammy history Alison Krauss; and powerhouses like Dolly Parton who stepped out of an over-controlling entertainer’s shadow to become a badass in all things like supporting the LGBTQ community, contributing to pro-transgender films ahead of their time, and starring in sex worker positive productions like “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.”

Country music is filled with activism. Johnny Cash showed a heart for those forgotten by society. He toured many times in prisons. Cash especially was an activist for Native American rights. He toured with Native American songwriters so audiences could hear their own words (I’ve been trying to find names but I’m having difficulties re-finding that information, so my apologies for not giving names of those who deserve to be mentioned). Cash released albums dedicated to exposing past and present injustices against the Native American people. He went on tours specifically to Native American reservations.

And it’s not just Johnny Cash!

Country music is many stars from the Grand Ole Opry banding together to release AIDS benefit albums - big names like Alison Krauss, Willie Nelson, Marty Stuart, aurgh I’m too lazy to write them all, PEOPLE.

Country music is Earl Scruggs and his sons playing at the Vietnam War Protests.

Country music is tied in with the fucking folk revival of the 1960s, which was deep in left-wing activism and the Civil Rights Movement. Folk singers sang traditional Appalachian and English ballads alongside their own compositions, topical pieces protesting the current political situation. You can call one artist “folk” or “Americana” and another one “country,” but the influences were intermingling, and it’s why we have Bob Dylan and Woody Guthrie and Joan Baez and John Denver and Pete Seeger owning a banjo that says, “This machine surrounds hate and forces it to surrender.”

Dammit, I have a full BOOK that discusses country music and political ties.

There’s another book out there, which I haven’t read, that discusses the relationship between country music and the queer community, and how bias against country music is NOT as reflective of the listening demographic as we stereotype. I’ll take the word of one reviewer who said:

[Nadine Hubbs] explores country music lyrics, presenting a great deal of evidence suggesting that working class America is not inherently homophobic, but that as middle class cultural taste has changed to include formal acceptance of homosexuality, this process has included pinning homophobic ideas on the working class.

Country music is lyrics like this 1975 controversial song “The Pill”:

You wined me and dined meWhen I was your girlPromised if I’d be your wifeYou’d show me the worldBut all I’ve seen of this old worldIs a bed and a doctor billI’m tearing down your brooder house‘Cause now I’ve got the pillAll these years I’ve stayed at homeWhile you had all your funAnd every year that’s gone byAnother baby’s comeThere’s a-gonna be some changes madeRight here on nursery hillYou’ve set this chicken your last time‘Cause now I’ve got the pill

Country music is lyrics like this 2013 song that feels as relevant than ever:

If crooks are in charge, should we let them pick our pockets?If we don’t want trouble, should we not try to stop it?We could just sink into the quicksand slavery we’re born inBut fighting endless wars for greedy liars is getting pretty boringThey think they got us trained, so we’ll think we’re living freeIf we got time and money for junk food and TVBut it’s plain honest people never stand a chance of winning electionsThey just let us pick which liars take our rights away for our own protectionThe corporate propaganda paralyzes us with fearDestroying our ability to trustFear keeps us fighting with each other over scrapsStarving to death in the dustOrganized religion really helps you submitBut the meek are inheriting the short end of the stickFear surrounds compassion like a layer of moldAnd weakens our defenses so we’re too weak to be boldLife could be heaven, but this corrupted systemTakes away our rights, expects us not to miss themThe middle class is shrinking while the lower class growsIf we don’t wake up soon, we’ll have no class left to lose

Country music is Christians themselves criticizing the hypocritical Evangelical culture in the USA for the bullshit hatefulness stewing inside it:

Every house has got a Bible and a loaded gunWe got preachers and politicians‘Round here it’s kinda hard to tell which oneIs gonna do more talkin’ with a crooked tongue

And as that one post I just reblogged shows, there’s MANY queer country musicians out there producing explicitly pro-LGBTQ+ music.

I’m brushing over so much. I’m sorry for the simplification that goes with me doing such a pass-by overview. I’m sorry I’m focusing more on history than the present (I know more about the 1920s-1960s eras, so I’m talking from my strong suit). I hope the information is at least strong enough to get my point across.

There are definitely listeners and artists in country music who are uber-conservative white hateful Christians. Yes. I know why country music gets associated with that. But.

Country music is not ABOUT this uber-conservative white hateful Christian side. The genre is not “polluted”. It is a thousand voices from a thousand perspectives of people from many backgrounds and beliefs. And many of those thousand voices are old traditional songs that came from Black communities, or were composed by Mexican-Americans, or were performed by folk artists as part of a protest for equal rights.

(Note: I’m *NOT* saying all Christians are bad or that different political angles don’t have merits. I’m Christian myself! And you don’t know my political party. I’m just trying to get the point across that country music isn’t ENTRENCHED in one questionable demographic.)

You don’t have to like country music. It doesn’t have to be your aesthetic. But if you find it fun to get in on society’s popular country hate roasting… please rethink this. The reason country music has been hated from its roots is because it’s associated with the socioeconomically disadvantaged.

I’m with you 100%, Ashley. When someone says they like all genres “except country music and rap,” I get a little leery. I used to be one of those people when I was younger. I had to learn to grow past those biases. But once I did, I realized there was so much I was hating on that I didn’t understand. Now, I hope I can help people overcome their own biases, such as ones they don’t realize they’ve had - for things like music.

Hi ya’lls. I’m queer and I love country.

P.S. If anyone has anything to add or correct, please feel free to add on! I’m doing my best but I do not know everything and would be happy to learn more, too!

#ashleybenlove #long post #music #non-dragons #that banjo business #analysis #my analysis #music analysis #note that there's a version of this post where it's been reblogged and added on and I chat about Elvis and stuff #but the starting text is from an earlier version of this post #where I had a number of typos #XD I know they're there but I can't change those hahahahaha #I changed them here #reblog whichever version you desire though of course!#but just so you know there's a few minor factual typos in the non-edited version #I was hahaha so excited that I typed fast when I wrote it XD

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magpiefngrl · 4 years

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Book Recs Jan-Jun 2020

I’ve been reading voraciously these past six months (my Goodreads challenge says 68 books so far). Here are some memorable reads, grouped according to what you might be into.

I want queer romance please:

Brothers of the North Wild Sea by Harper Fox (m/m historical)

This book ruined me (in a good way). Or maybe it isn’t good that I’ll be carrying it inside my heart for ever and ever till the end of my days, my lip wobbling at the mere thought of it. A wonderful romance, a pairing I adored, gorgeous prose, a fascinating historical background (medieval times, north of England, Viking invasions). There’s a faint supernatural undercurrent that becomes more prominent at the very end. I sobbed through the last few pages with fear, with relief, with happiness. Highly, highly recced.

Bitter Springs by Laura Stone (m/m historical)

Every historical novel I’ve read is set in the UK, so the fact that this is a US historical book was fascinating to me. Two POC cowboys fall in love while seeking mustangs in the wilderness of Texas (?? idk where Del Rio is). It’s sweet and loving with a side-serving of jealousy when a former lover briefly appears on the scene; but mainly it’s two men getting to know each other and falling in love in the desert. I loved the horses too.

The Sins of Cities trilogy by KJ Charles. (3 books, 3 different couples, interconnected, m/m historical)

OK so the first book in the series didn’t do much for me. A pairing who loves to be domestic and sweet and to drink tea by the fire is cute... but I got bored. The second one, though... I think my eyes popped out of my head from the sheer heat of it. Justin Lazarus shot to the Top-5 of my fave characters of all time, and I’d willingly kill all of you for him, sorry that’s how it is. The trilogy is a murder mystery set in Victorian London, and unlike most romance series, you’ll need to read the books in order. Overall, this isn’t my fave series of KJC, but it was fun nonetheless, and it does have Justin in it so it’s worth a read.

Slippery Creatures by KJ Charles (m/m historical)

This one is amazing!!! This is KJC’s latest, first in a trilogy with the same pairing, which means the HEA is 2 books away (it doesn’t mean that this ends unhappy; another reader called it the WNDY ending -- We’re Not Done Yet). Boy, this is a scorcher. Set in the 1920s, it features spies, secret societies, murder, lies, kidnapping, grey characters with elastic morals: these are all catnip for me, and I inhaled this novel twice in a week. Highly recced for anyone into a gay historical romance, who loves a bit of pulp with their gay sex. The second installment is out next month.

The 13th Hex (novella) and Widdershins by Jordan L. Hawk (both m/m historical paranormal, but different universes)

I can’t say I’m enamoured by Hawk’s writing skills; in fact, I usually feel a tad let-down by the prose, mainly because the books have such potential. Hawk’s plotting is fantastic and his world-building fascinating and truly unique. I just love both of these worlds and their magic systems. Hot sex too. I don’t want to discourage people: I’m possibly just too fussy with prose. Hawk is super popular and you should give his books a shot. Widdershins is free! (In case it sways you: Hawk recently came out as a trans man.)

Unnatural by Joanna Chambers (m/m historical)

I read a few romances by Chambers lately, some less satisfying than others. This one is a standalone companion novel to her most popular series, called Enlightenment, set in Regency Britain. It’s a well-written fast read; a friends-to-lovers romance, with lots of tension and chemistry between the leads. As in all Chambers books that I’ve read so far, there’s lots of angst about one’s homosexuality (very era-appropriate) and lots of pull-and-push before it ends in a very HEA.

****

Do you have anything with fantasy and/or magic, my kind lady?

His Majesty’s Dragon by Naomi Novik (alternate history, Napoleonic wars with dragons)

Do you like dragons who talk and bond with honourable officers during times of war? Do you love soulmate bonds and sentiments such as: “I’ll do anything for you” and “You’re mine” but when it’s people, it makes you uncomfortable? Well, here former Naval officer Lawrence and his dragon Temeraire (and all dragons with their handlers) have this bond, and it’s the best thing ever. I’m in love with Temeraire, I shiver at the profound bond between Lawrence and his intelligent dragon, and I can’t wait to read the rest of the series by a beloved author (ahem).

The Dark Artifices by Cassandra Clare (YA urban fantasy)

I don’t hold the best opinion of Clare’s writing skills so I was pleasantly surprised when I read the first installment a few years back (Lady Midnight). I decided to reread it during quarantine, and then I moved on to the second one, Lord of Shadows. They’re both long novels, tightly-plotted, with several romances evolving on page.

I was excited to read the last one, A Queen of Air and Darkness, but alas! I didn’t love it. To start with, it’s 1000 pages long, and unlike books of that length that I’ve read, you feel it. The book drags. Everyone and their mother has a POV and a love story on page. There are no subplots, because they’re all Plots: all afforded equal space in the narrative, so there’s lots happening at the same time, but the story doesn’t feel like it’s moving forward with a good pace. As the end of the trilogy, Clare indulges in some of her fave elements, namely mentioning someone’s eye colour every three pages, or having every single person paired up by the end (something which bothers me a great deal). There are a few plot contrivances that ensure her main pairing conveniently gets their HEA. I confess I skimmed most of the last part of the book. I’m happy I read it and got to the end of the story, but I can’t say I was satisfied. If you’re looking for an undemanding, escapist fantasy, though, it’s the ticket: it certainly worked for me when I had quarantine brain.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amar El-Mochtar & Max Gladstone

Sci-fi, literary af, two time-travel agents from opposing Agencies bent on destroying each other, exchange letters and fall in love. I’m completely torn in half: half of the book (the prose, the imagination) left my jaw on the floor. The rest of it left me cold and indifferent. Wonderful prose, couldn’t get into the characters. Short and dense.

Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner

Queer fantasy novel that gives strong Dangerous Liaisons vibes. Written in 1987, one of the first fantasy novels to feature a society where same-sex is accepted. The writing is beautiful, the plot twisty. There’s no actual magic, but there are sword fights, courtroom drama, intrigue. Good fun if you like that kind of thing.

The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang

Adult fantasy. So far (I’m half-way through) it’s phenomenal. I’ve seen it recced everywhere and was so happy to see that Scribd offered it in my subscription. Set in a Chinese-inspired world, it features a vivid setting and memorable characters, and I’m loving it. I predict it’ll be my new fave. Do heed the content warnings (pretty much every CW you can think of applies); it’s quite dark as it progresses.

A bunch of novellas and short stories by Aliette de Bodard

This author came to my notice about a year ago. I’ve been following her on twitter ever since, but didn’t have the chance to read any of her work until I saw she had a bunch of stuff available on Scribd. I read a couple of sci-fi novellas set in a Vietnamese-inspired future; The Citadel of Weeping Pearls was my fave.

She’s also published a fantasy trilogy with fallen angels and magic set in a war-ravaged Paris, which sounds awesome. I haven’t read it, can’t afford to yet, but I did read two short stories set in that ‘verse and they were fabulous. The atmosphere, the setting, the premise, the Fallen of the Dominion universe just sounds like very much my thing. Here’s a link to some free stories they offer, if you want to check out her writing.

The Autobiography of a Traitor and a Half-Savage by Alix E. Harrow

I read a short story by Harrow several months ago and was blown away. I’ve rarely fell so fast and so deeply in love with an author. I haven’t read her debut yet, but I came across this short novella and she blew me away again. It’s a story set in the US, magical realism rather than fantasy imo, and it’s about colonialism and the land, and it’s so powerful. You can read it for free at Tor.com. Please do, it’s incredible.

******

#books #book recs #sff #sff books #gay romance #fantasy books #romance books #diverse reading #marginalised authors #WOC #Authors of Colour

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krashlynandthekids · 4 years

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Inside the Miami Wedding of Soccer Stars Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris

By Alexandra Macon : Vogue

Orlando Pride and U.S. Women’s National Team goalkeeper Ashlyn Harris and defender Ali Krieger are one of sport’s most beloved couples. They first met in 2010 at USWNT training camp, where they became fast friends. “I just found her to be so captivating and always wanted to be around her,” Ali says. “She’s someone who seemed so confident and comfortable with herself, and I was so attracted to that.” The two began a romantic relationship, which they kept secret for a long time out of fear of losing endorsement deals, despite the fact that hardcore soccer fans suspected they were a couple long before they ultimately decided to go public. After almost 10 years of dating, they tied the knot over the holidays in a wedding that was a non-stop, weekend-long party and served as a reunion for many of the USWNT team members. It also capped off a World Cup winning season in which these athletes made front-page headlines for their powerful stances off the field as well as their talent on it.

Ashlyn and Ali’s official move toward marriage started when Ashlyn asked Ali to marry her in Clearwater, Florida. They were enjoying a weekend away after a long season. Just before dinner, “we headed down to the beach to watch the sunset and take in the beautiful scenery,” Ali remembers. “We had a glass of champagne and then wanted to take photos to capture the moment. I proceeded to take a selfie and Ashlyn’s arm was in the back of the photo. I asked her to put it down and stop being silly, only to realize she had actually been holding the engagement ring the entire time I had been snapping photos. She pulled it around in front of me, and then asked the big question! I was in shock but so happy and excited at the same time. It was an incredible sunset, and just a perfect moment.”

Wedding planning kicked off soon after. From the start, the goal was to create a classic, clean environment. “Vizcaya Museum and Gardens [in Miami] is this kind of Mediterranean Castle-like vibe right on the water,” Ali says. “It has this European feel that we were going for, so right when we walked into the venue for the first time, we were like, ‘Oh my God! It’s breathtaking. This is it!’”

The couple worked with Sara Lowell from Sara Renee Events to bring their vision to life. “She’s so badass and beautiful and just absolutely crushed it for us,” Ali says. “We’re so grateful for her and her incredible team of fantastic people working to make our dreams a reality.”

“Ali and I really wanted to align ourselves with people and brands that spoke to our soul and were really about nonconforming and understood the same vision we were going for,” Ashlyn adds. “I just wanted to feel like we could fully express ourselves, our sexuality, and our community.”

To that end, Ashlyn wore Thom Browne, the designer she turns to for all of her red carpet events, and a TAG Heuer Monaco watch. Thom Browne dresses the Barcelona soccer team, which is how Ashlyn first became acquainted with the brand. “Honestly, I love that it’s all very gender neutral, very fluid, there are women in dresses and men in dress, and men and women in skirts. I can really feel how he expresses himself through clothes. It’s just so nonconforming and so far out. I’ve been wearing his stuff ever since.” She and the Thom Browne team created a custom tuxedo with a beaded argyle pattern for the wedding day.

Like a lot of brides on the hunt for the right dress, Ali took a weekend trip to New York City with her best friend and maid of honor, Elizabeth Mumley, to search for her wedding gown. They found a Pronovias fit and flare dress with long sleeves and a V in the back that was exactly what she wanted. “I tried it on, and I knew it was the one!” she says of the “Helio” gown. “I fell in love and knew I would get married in this dress. It’s simple but sophisticated and elegant at the same time. I have personally always loved Pronovias. It’s a brand with which I think I share a lot of values as they believe in inclusivity and diversity.”

On Saturday, December 28, just three days after Christmas, the couple married in the round so that friends and family could see the ceremony and feel part of it. “We wanted simple white flowers and a rose-petal-strewn aisle,” Ali says. “We also wanted to walk ourselves down the aisle as strong, confident, independent women. We felt like it was right.” Ashlyn’s best friend, USWNT team captain and the World Cup’s MVP, Megan Rapinoe, served as maid of honor; Ali’s brother, Kyle Krieger, was best man; and Orlando Pride player Sydney Leroux was the officiant.

For the reception afterward, guests found their seats at tables named after LGBTQ icons including Marsha P. Johnson—a pioneering activist known for her role in the Stonewall uprising—and Anderson Cooper. Dena Lowell Blauschild and The Cook and the Cork catered a colorful menu with an incredible attention to detail. And just before the party really got started, Ali changed into the Condesa dress, also by Pronovias. “I wanted to make it into a mini dress but keep the train, so I customized the hem to give it a high-low effect,” she says. “It was very nice to be able to dance without worrying!”

Meanwhile, Ashlyn seemed to strip off components of her wedding ensemble as the night went on—her pants were switched out for shorts and her tuxedo jacket was traded in for a sleeveless shirt and vest, also by Thom Browne, which allowed her to dance more freely. The newlyweds cut their rainbow cake and did their first dance to a live, acoustic version of Kina Grannis’s “Stand by Me.” Toasts were given over the course of the evening, with Ali’s brother Kyle voicing the sentiments so many there (and those taking in the festivities from afar via Instagram) were feeling: “Since you went public with your relationship, it has been a gift to watch you grow together. It’s amazing because you guys are like a beacon of light for all young queer LGBTQ women and men who just need someone to look up to, like we get happy endings too. In the media and the movies, so often...you know, queer stories have a devastating ending, but not here. In real life, we get to see you guys live the dream.”

#ali krieger #ashlyn harris #krashlyn #royal wedding #wedding

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wakraya · 4 years

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What makes you interpret it as playful dicking around rather than mean spirited? I'm hearing "I know this hurt a lot of people and I'm going to make light of that without taking their pain seriously" from them which feels mean spirited to me. I'm TRYING not to interpret it in the worst light I can, but it's hard to see the playfulness when I'm feeling this bad. I know the writers get a lot of shit but considering the power imbalance between author and audience its not really the same.

The actual good they’ve done, mostly? The messages of gratitude to the Fandom by the WP Team for the support of Pesterquest, the “I know I teased the people that really nitpick details with Aradia’s route, but the core of Pesterquest is, in fact, that we’re nothing without you, the Fans, so thank you very much”, their attempt at validating Fanon Interpretation and Works with theirs being just One Take of how they’re doing the Timeline. Again, what makes one interpret Hussie laughing at the Character Deaths as playful dicking rather than mean spirited? New characters had been presented, half of the Troll Cast was dead in gruesome and really dramatic ways, and in comes the author like “HAHAH, HERE’S ME LAUGHING OVER ALL OF THE CHARACTERS THAT HAVE DIED!”, but then you get deep talk about the way this loss affects the characters and shapes them and keeps them pushing forward and fighting and striving for a better ending for the sake of those that gave their lives, and suddenly you realize, hey, the author is not actually a dick, there’s just a back-and-forth going on there between the audience and the creators.

Feeling bad at an update is okay! Disliking the direction of the story is totally okay! Voicing your dislike of these things is okay. What happened with this latest update? That was not��okay. I have seen the Fandom twisting the words of queer authors, literally calling them evil, and calling for physical retribution. I have been subject to pretty nasty messages merely for defending the update. And you know what? YEAH I would like to tell this people to fuck off! At one point you stop caring about this hurt, if people are using it to hurt others in turn. Another part of the commentary was about how people had added this to the list of reason Jade is bad, right under ‘is a woman’ and ‘has sex’.

Fandom can be extremely critical, volatile and nasty and spin some very fucking regressive rhetoric in its apparent attempt to ‘not be problematic’. So laughing a bit at the expense of this Fandom that has been pulling worse and worse shit since the Epilogues? It’s like saying “God, men are awful”. Of course not all men. That is implicit. Of course if you’re not doing anything bad you’re not part of the collective being mocked. “God, Homestuck is awful and so are its fans”, is a sentiment that has been made popular over the years within the very own Fandom, “Homestuck sucks and I am trash”, and I feel like in a situation like this, the writers going “Yeah you are kind of trash you know”, isn’t even that controversial.

Also I should mention that I’m not sure exactly about how much of an ‘Imbalance’ there really is? Again, considering the WP Team to be a small indie group and the Fandom being a very loud and often very aggressive horde of hundreds and thousands of people. They control the direction the story takes. You control whether you want to continue following it or not, though. “The ride never ends” “We truly are stuck at home” memes are all well and good, but, you can... Distance yourself from things that are causing you distress. This also comes particularly coming from THIS update in specific. Adultery, hiding things from your partner, a breach of trust, that is messed up! I get the upset, there is a lot of drama! But also, this is a timeline that has dealt with rape, abuse, a fascist dictatorship, suicide, and a complete loss of hope, despairing at irrelevance and lack of purpose.

It is not... Light. It’s adult, unpleasant, and hard when it gets to the nitty-gritty of things, and often mixed with absurdism and parody that clashes with these dark themes. It is thematically VERY different from what Homestuck was, while following in its legacy with similar topics. Things are going to hit darker tones and are going to, specially, hit some very personal things for some people. Personal and unpleasant things that happen for real, and we’re at the very start of an uphill slope towards things getting better (Which they have).

It’s just. Bleh. A lot of talk about, a lot to discuss, and a lot of nuance. Hot Trigger Topics that rile people up, a general sense of negativity, an overall push on the Internet towards a sense of having to Be Mad and Lash Out and Seek Retribution towards other people, exhausted Authors that deal with said negativity, the Homestuck-brand teasing between Author and Fan, the exploration of new topics. If the authors wanted to hurt the Fandom, they would have made Rose and Kanaya split because of Yiffy, rather than Kanaya seeking to repair this breach of trust and not letting go. If they wanted to hurt the Fandom, they would have made Rosebot and Kanaya not miss each other, instead of wanting to see each other again. They would have let John stay down in the dumps, they wouldn’t have let Jake stand up in the end and begin to work, covertly, to take Jane down, they wouldn’t have given Jane a chance for redemption in Meat, or painted Dirk in such positive light in his Pesterchum route. And if you cannot see the obvious Good and the interesting beats and pushes of this story, then I am sorry for you, for having lost the vibe of a content that you used to enjoy! But that’s where Authorial Responsibility ends. They are putting out content they find interesting and want to explore. You can choose whether you want to keep going with this, or if after giving it a try, you just do not want it anymore.

#Discourse #HS^2 #homestuck^2 #Homestuck #Ult Dirk #Hussie #Bonus Upd8 #Bonus #long post #longpost

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