#I expect nothing less from you Koa
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⚠️⚠️⚠️ HoFaS Spoilers ahead ⚠️⚠️⚠️
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Just a bunch of things about this finale that I wanted to get off my chest. I will start by saying that I found it overall underwhelming, unsatisfying and anticlimactic, so you can guess it's not going to be a positive rant here. This is the part of my GR review I haven't posted there.
Please, do not come at me under this post or the others. This is just my opinion, and I won't be answering any rude comment. I have the right to express my own disappointment. Those who want to have a constructive and respectful conversation are always welcome, though.
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• The crossover ended up being reeeeally underwhelming, and the whole Ruhn/Rhys thing that built the entire hype for this book was explained in the lamest way possible (and at a certain point even forgotten by the characters). Also, what the hell were those references to ToG that were just dropped there without further explanation? We know how the Fae from Prythian got to Midgard, but what about the ToG ones? How is it that Lidia has knowledge about her ancestors from the other world? Also, how could Lidia know she had fire magic even when Danika was alive if elemental magic had been hidden and kept dormient in every Vanir for centuries?
• I am not a big fan of Azriel and Bryce, and I am definitely not on the list of Nesta's fans, but you know what? This trio worked. For some reason, I liked to see them interacting, and I actually found Azriel and Nesta's dynamic an element that could be interesting if explored in the following acotar books. Maybe it's just that I didn't care about any of them enough to be bothered by the things I usually find annoying (Bryce), triggering (Nesta), and irritating (Azriel) in such characters.
Too bad Nesta screwed it up with the mask thing (which I have already discussed here) and in Ember/Randall's bonus chapter with the return of her spiteful, ungrateful, behaviour/attitude. I guess the best I can hope for when it comes to Nesta is to be civil to her and nothing more, just like it happened with post ToD Chaol. Slightly less even. Like, maybe she could stop triggering me every two pages. That would be progress and beyond any of my expectations, really. It would make the next acotar books much easier to read, though I cannot forget how she's been in the past.
• I didn't like the info dump both in the final part of the crossover and in the part with the Princes. I would have preferred some flashbacks showing what happened to the "tell don't show" technique SJM chose here. And finding out what happened in the First War, for me, was the most interesting point of the whole book, so that execution disappointed me.
• Why was everything resolved so easily? Bryce got everything she needed provided for, or told by someone else, she somehow managed to master new skills within a range of few seconds (the same can be told for Lidia and the other characters when freed of the infection) and the most interesting aspect of her character - her being so underpowered in comparison to the Asteri - Was totally nullified by the ridiculous amount of power she got along the way. Literally, all they did/tried to do, worked first try. Where is the struggle? Where is the pain KoA made me feel? Where are the emotions? The only moment I felt something was that "Light it up, Danika!" At the end of the book. Just that.
And where is the characters development? Ships development? Also, the always absent talking about traumas is really getting on my nerves. I'll be making examples about this later.
• What the hell was that recycled finale? It resembled KoA's finale. It even had the "Rhys is dead" plot twist, but with Bryce and with the same resolution. Also, what was the point of having characters killed in books 1 and 2 if Hypaxia could've just resurrected them within a couple of minutes? I hate the resurrection theme, especially when overused. It diminishes everything.
• I am apparently one of the few people who's given Hypaxia some consideration. She's been one of my favourites ever since the first book, but... in HoFaS she's just doing miracles, resurrecting people, and developing an antidote out of the blue in a couple of hours (really?), which brings me back to the fact that in this, everything happened too easily.
• So, SJM is trying to tell me that the Asteri were so clever to submit a population of powerful Vanir people for 15000 years, meanwhile keeping hidden form them that they were limiting and stealing their magic, - and even eating their dead's - but then failed to imagine Bryce's real plan because they were too arrogant? Wtf was that? Am i supposed to believe that Rigelus just underestimated her when in book 1, he was the one trying to keep her calm and content because he recognised how dangerous she was, after all she had done?
• What was the point of introducing Ariadne?
• I can't say I am totally disappointed in Jesiba's character, I just don't understand why the most powerful characters for magic or combat skills were kept away from the battle against beings as powerful as the Asteri lol Her arriving only at the end of the battle, Fury and Baxian being away... meh, everything was just kind of disappointing.
• Also, black holes? 🤨 no insights about the battle and the Princes fighting? All we got was literally: "The Princes killed the other Asteri, yay!". Did I mention that it was all so disappointing and anticlimactic?
• Now, let's move on to specific characters:
- Tharion "the funny one turned into Mr Boredom".
I have to say it. He was the king of repetitive povs in book 2, and just one of the many characters in this series who started off as being interesting only to become almost annoying by the end of it. But he's the friend who can't do anything right to the point you end up thinking your own bullshit is not that shitty. Repetitive povs and excessive whining (he was supposed to be the funny one sigh) aside, I kind of still care about him. And him and Sathia are unexpectedly interesting as a couple, but we'll see if they become an actual one. I also liked his sort of friendship with Ariadne. And the one with the Aux and Ithan, "the pack". Please, let him sort his shit out and be fine because he's such a mess I cannot even hold it against him, lol
- Bryce the Fa(k)e Woke Queen-lan
I won't say that Bryce's character was butchered here because there was nothing to butcher according to me, she's always been like this. It just became more evident.
From HoSaB to the end, she's been annoying. Though she had some moments of glory along the way, I have to admit that. But why was she convinced that she could be Aelin all of a sudden? She was never a strategist nor a planner (and her plans ALWAYS failed, except her plans in HoFaS? How's that?). Her most successful moments were due to improvisation, - prompted by survival instinct - and luck. Now she's suddenly an entitled overpowered mastermind lol
She has zero respect for others feelings/traumas, as usual she's always right and anyone who disagrees with her is just an alpha asshole, she's better and knows better than anyone else (and I am still trying to figure out why she's supposed to be any of those things) and she's constantly criticising anyone else... for things she does herself too. Great. Like, in the crossover she literally complains about Nesta and Az manipulating her while.. she was doing the very same thing to them? Just like in book 1, when she was complaining all the time about Fury not talking to her while she did the same thing to Ithan.
And what the hell were her plans, anyway? She was so desperately trying to be Aelin, but she never even had a chance. Leaving Baxian and Fury in a naturally protected place and not taking them to battle? How is that smart? Not calling Jesiba, the powerful witch, to join the battle? HOW IS ANY OF THAT SMART?
She had a whole conversation with Nesta before Rhys arrived, his shadows announced pages before? (Wtf?)
She bloody endangered Prythian, almost freed and unleashed an Asteri on Prythian's soil, and Nesta GAVE HER THE MASK? (WTF I-don't-even-know-which-part-this-is-anymore)
Now, should I comment on Bryce's total disrespect for her mate's trauma and past while he's always been thoughtful when it came to hers? I do not ship them AT ALL, and it's not because Hunt is boring as someone claims, but because Hunt deserved better, tbh and I loved them in book 1! Worst SJM main female character, really.
Also, please tell me again why she was supposed to be the queen of a species she literally hated and didn't want anything to do with. She was Queen of generalisation in that sense. I loved how Baxian called her out and made her realise that she was only considering what was convenient and conform to her prefixed, biased ideas (the speech where he compares wolves and fae). I mean, she was right about fae nobility, but there were innocents among the fae too and she was talking about how the whole species deserved obliteration, while claiming wolves were better (when statistically there was a huge amount of wolves who judged her just like the fae and did nothing to help during the attack, just like the fae... because they obey to their leaders, and Sabine was just as bad as Morven and the Autumn King. Wolves were not all like the Devil's pack, Ithan and Danika, just like fae were not all like the Autumn/Avallen king). All while not considering the fae among her group and treating Declan and Flynn like shit for absolute no reason. Or giving those shitty answers to Sathia about her plans for the fae people... she was a victim of the system more than Bryce tbh Bryce's wokeness would have been so much more believable, useful and coherent if she wasn't biased as the ones she accused or an alpha asshole herself.
I am sorry, but I just cannot stand her hypocrisy. And I cannot stand generalisation.
- Hunt "the powerbank" Athalar
He was literally conceived to be Bryce's powerbank first and later his shadow (Umbra Mortis?!) who follows her everywhere without even being given the chance to have a say in what they are going to do. Otherwise, he'd be acting like an alpha asshole. Just to be told not to make a fuss about being held captive and tortured with his friends. I'm so pissed for his arc, because he was so interesting in book 1, only for his povs to become repetitive and sometimes boring in book 2 and almost non existing in book 3, like he didn't have any inviduality other than being Bryce's mate and anchor. Also, how could he blame himself for anything when Bryce didn't even listen to his warnings/complains/objections, leaving him with no other choice but following her to get at least the chance to protect/help her?
And then she's like "I don't want you to just follow me, I want that you want to do this" (wtf?)
Bonus: being son of Apollion or Thanatos instead of somehow created by them in terms of powers would have been so much more interesting.
I liked his friendship with Ruhn and Baxian though, and missed him and Isaiah/Naomi.
- Ithan "I don't even know what I'm doing" Holstrom
Why was Ithan so damn sure Sigrid would be a good leader for the wolves is beyond me. He didn't know her. Literally, it was just because she was a Fendyr. That was his only argument in support of his theory. As if Sabine wasn't proof that being a Fendyr didn't automatically make you a good leader. As if Sigrid didn't act entitled and reckless and dominant and selfish and despotic the whole time. It's all she's done, really, and he did not expect that she was not that good as he wanted her so desperately to be? SHE AIMED TO KILL HIM IN THAT PIT! Him, the very person who risked everything to save her, the only person who ever cared about her! A person who was not trying to harm her despite the circumstances. She was not going to try and find another way even though she knew all those lives depended on the group getting out the Viper Queen's hands... it was self defense and I truly get his struggle to accept what happened BUT defeating the Asteri was the priority and the fact that she came back 5 seconds later as a creature that could not be killed and known for being dangerous, when it is known that messing with the dead usually leads to no good... did not exactly make me empathise at all with this whole arc. And after that, he was still whining about Sigrid instead of fully focusing on fighting the Asteri...
It's a pity because I really liked him before this Sigrid thing. But I'd be willing to give him a second - or should I say third? - chance. I think Perry may be his mate, anyway, and I am kind of curious about that.
- Ruhn/Lidia
I was totally unimpressed by them as a couple after book 2, but I thought they were getting interesting at the beginning of book 3. Then somehow Lidia felt entitled to be pissed at Ruhn because he was struggling to accept that Day was the Hind (wtf) and then Ruhn felt entitled to be pissed at Lidia for not talking to him about her past (wtf part 2). Only to forget/postpone all of their issues because they were horny and about to go to battle against the Asteri. That's not ship building/development. Ruhn shooting her was too much, even if he was trying to protect her and sacrifice himself. But that idea made no sense and had literally no use or purpose. Why did SJM think it would be a good idea? Adding some drama/shock value element that was totally uncalled for and that only resulted in diminishing a ship that wasn't even well developed to begin with? Because it served nothing and it was dumb. Leaving Lidia wounded and vulnerable. One of the best assets they had in that battle - and they didn't bring many with them. Just like clockwork hadn't been for Tharion, they would have all been dead five seconds later.
To think that the fact that Lidia already had two kids was such an interesting and unexplored arc for mates... sigh, I am disappointed.
I am happy that it was Ruhn to deal with the Autumn King in the end, though. He deserved closure and to free himself of that monster. I am quite sad that his character never had the chance to fully come out.
Lidia carried the whole book. I loved her.
- Baxian/Danika
They truly were the most interesting ship in this series. I hope there will be a flashback book/novella about them. I swear I would love it. Their dynamic is also interesting, and I'd love to get to know Baxian better. But maybe, we will?
To sum up, this series left me absolutely nothing. I do not care enough about any of the characters, I didn't get particularly affectionate to any of them. Its major strength was the focus on friendship, but after the first book, it was almost absent, the principle only slightly reminded by Ruhn, Dec and Flynn/Hunt, Rhun, and Baxian. The premises of the story in general were so good (HoEaB), but the execution through book 2 and 3 was so poor it disappointed me. It's not a bad series, it is entertaining in its own way... it's just a bit "undertone" if compared to the other SJM series, it lacked of emotions, plot/characters/ships development and impact, I don't know how to say it. I hope the next books will be better. My guess is on Ithan, Tharion, Flynn next. Or even Sathia, considering that SJM prefers female povs. I wish we'd seen Fury and Juniper a bit more, and Dec and Marc, but they are established couples, so I don't think we'll see any of them as main. Flynn has that slightly hinted thing with Ariadne, who was introduced and forgotten, so maybe she'll be important later? I want to stay optimistic lol
I wished there was a better development for Ruhn and Lidia as a couple, though, and Ruhn as a character because I think they'll be side characters from now on. Also, why on earth was their marriage in a bonus chapter? That's not extra content. That's the ending for two of the main characters. It's not fair!
Btw, imo the only memorable characters in this series so far are Danika, Baxian, Aidas, and Lidia.
#hofas spoilers#hofas review#anti bryce#anti bryce quinlan#anti nesta#this is just the rant of a disappointed reader
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I think you have some great theories but some require so much explanation to make it work and are buried in references and outside sources, we almost get away from what we know - SJM makes whatever lore she pulls from her own. Some are so complex and very specific to the way you analyze, we can't possibly expect SJM to have been on the same wavelength as you. Considering how often SJM retcons and contradicts herself in interviews, I just don't think she's putting in as much work as some fans do with some theories. Yes, she has plot twists and turns, but they aren't overly layered and she's not the best as creating two demensional villains either. She's also made some questionable writing decisions that so many fans never could've predicted. Like, I remember all the wild theories for KOA & ACOSF and none were remotely close to what she planned in terms of plot development aside from the obvious, Nessian as endgame. I think at best, the theories that do come to fruition are the simple ones even causal readers can pick up. I think you have some creative ideas, but I think we are expecting too much from SJM.I think she's a simple gal, who loves writing romance. Will you be disappointed if none of your theories come to be true? If none come true, I hope it doesn't stop you from expressing your thought and blogging, there's so many other fandoms who would appreciate you in their corner.
This is a valid point, so thank you for bringing it up!
I think first and foremost, it goes without saying that most SJM fan theories will (likely) be wrong in some capacity - my own included. I am definitely aware of this, which is why I am intentional with my wording (ie. I will never say "I figured it out!", or try and present my theories as canon facts). For me personally, theorising isn't about trying to be "right" (as that's pretty much impossible); instead, it's about pondering all the different possibilities that SJM could take in future books, and then sharing these possibilities within a community.
As for expecting too much from SJM - I am undecided. I do see where you are coming from, and I especially agree with KOA; a perfect example of this was Elide's character - SJM hinted several times that Elide had Blackbeak blood (which spurred on the creation of many incredible theories), but then it ultimately lead to nothing...? However, I also know that Merrill's hypothesis in ACOSF (about the 11 different dimensions, or as many as 26) is a direct reference to String Theory - and then the Harp, with the 26 strings, represents this. To me, this does indeed suggest that SJM is thinking about her worlds (and how they interact) beyond the surface level.
This is also why I often reference outside sources in my theories (such as mythology or folklore), because to me it is clear that SJM derives so much inspiration from these same sources. For example, Helion appears to be named after "Helios" (Greek god of the sun), and Thesan appears to be named after "Thesan" (Etruscan goddess of dawn). Knowing that SJM is connecting her characters in this way lends itself to questioning the other remaining characters - for example, why is Hunt named after Orion; a famous hunter in Greek mythology? Why is Mor named after The Morrigan; a famous war goddess/shapeshifter/banshee in Celtic mythology? Does it mean something? (Or, are you right, and SJM is just choosing names at random?)
So, I guess I can admit that I do have high expectations of SJM going forward, and that my theories reflect that. However, if SJM does indeed opt for more "basic" storylines in her future books (ie. much less of a crossover than we are anticipating), then it wouldn't be the first time that my theories have failed to account for that. In the past, I have actually posted theories for two well known TV/book series, and both went "viral" within those respective fandoms (I still remember when Reese Witherspoon posted a news article about my theory to her instagram story lmao). However, both times, the author went for a much more "obvious" ending, and as a result, I was on the receiving end of fandom backlash (that my thoughts were too "outlandish," or that my expectations were too high).
But, that's still part of the fun. Honestly, my one true goal is to write my own fantasy series - that way, I am free to include as many "outlandish" twists, turns, and ideas as I wish !! :)
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“i didn’t want you to fight alone. or die alone.” (To Callan from Koa (adopted son of Mor/Emerie)) @acourtcfmuses
Callan clasped arms with Koa. Their family always had each other's backs. He'd expect nothing less from his cousin.
"I'm glad to have you on our side."
#acourtcfmuses#«⚔️» 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑳𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 › callan in character#«⚔️» 𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝑩𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒔 › answered
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Drabble: The Flames that Block the Way
{finally felt a bit of writing muse hit me so time to actually get an old plot bunny in my head moving again}
OST: Explorator
“...We made it.” there was just silence, at least outward as Matt stood before the entrance. After all that work, he had finally reached where he was planning to go, the 0th city; Ishana.
His journey to reunite with someone lost to the world, but not to time... He’d recount it many times in his head. Even with the other factors out to hinder him... That blonde mage, Acht being one such person trying to make him fall astray of his path.
“(Kid, don’t get careless... We were able to get here, but its likely if that chick’s trying to get you off this path, either there’s something she didn’t want you to see, or there’s something even you can’t fight off alone...)” Yuugan would lightly chide him as Matt would silently walk through the empty corridor, it was like walking through a library, with all the bookshelves towering higher than even skyscrapers.
“(I’ll be fine, Yuugan. It’s not like Samui’s got surveillance spells here...)” Matt would take a cursory glance to the sides, and then above... Nothing he could hide from for certain. “(Besides... I got something specially made incase Seven greets us personally... Kurou was able to pass on one of his more readily available spells to me a while back.)”
“(Really? Which one?)”
“(It’s a surpri--)” Matt’s train of thought stopped as he went through the door and saw... Something he wasn’t expecting... Well all right, less so wasn’t expecting, moreso was hoping not to see.
OST: Walpurgisnacht
Standing tall in a room of crimson flames... Well it would be inaccurate to call it a room and more like an ancient nightmare made manifest.
“This is... The Phantom Field that...” Matt felt his voice trembling at the sight. While not from this possibility, he had known it was mentioned... And he’s seen it for himself.
“(Get a GRIP, kid! This isn’t a dream, and that thing’s not even noticed we walked in, yet!)”
“(But--)”
“(Save the potential hopes for your lost girl after we get out of this alive...!)”
There was a bit of pouting as he’d scan the room... How Seven was able to make a room like this was a whole other story... Wasn’t he an ice mage, too?! His train of thought was interrupted when the massive hulking demon would slam its fist into the ground near the brunet mercenary, who was prompted to dodge.
“Wonderful... All right pal, I could care less what Seven did to get your help, but I’m not doing this for revenge...!”
“Then what is it you desire...” there was another voice, someone who rested atop the demon’s shoulder.
“It’s rude to make a lady wait...”
“!?!?!?!?” Matt was at a loss for words-- but thankfully, Yuugan was able to pick up the pace while his ‘host’ was losing it.
“All right, I could care less if you’re ‘Koa’, ‘Phantom’, or whatever you’re deciding to call yourself... You’re not the chick he fell for, are you?”
“(YUUGAN THAT’S--)”
“(It’s not her... It’s the legitimate Nine.... How the fuck did Samui find a way to reach this one?! Is he trying to put you through the personal hell of fighting a different version of a loved one?!)”
There’d be no time to speculate as the demon would roar. With a fire spell being flung their way.
“I see you got your head on straight, makes for an easier time snapping it in two.”
“You don’t care us... You’re just a ghost of a past long gone. A future not belonging to this world.”
“AND MOREOVER, YOU’RE TOYING WITH THE HEART OF SOMEONE SHE HOLDS DEAR. I will break us out of this nightmare...!”
Even if he couldn’t see it.. Yuugan would feel Matt would smile at those words.
“Famous last words... When I’m through with you, I’ll put your host through his paces next! Don’t disappoint me!”
-TO BE CONTINUED-
#drabble#actually playing centralfiction has made me want to finally make a continuation in the ishana restoration timeline#and contrary to what one may believe this is actually an illusion based on CF/Canon!Nine#also finally got a new faceclaim for yuugan in the interrim since in a way he's trying to be more human than weapon
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Fine Line: The Divorce Series - Part three.
Here is the last part of fine line - the divorce series.
You can read part one here and part two here
I would LOVE to write some one shots based on Harry and Eliza. Feel free to send in requests!!
That night after he left Eliza’s Harry went home and sits in his shower for 45 minutes, he thought about going to the pub and then he thought about going to the liquor store to get a bottle of bourbon to drink it in its entirety all in an attempt to try and forget about the fact that he had just kissed Eliza. Harry decides against it, he calls his sponsor instead, his sponsor came to lend an ear and help him get through the night, without liquor. He and his sponsor had become close, he could trust his sponsor to be there for him without feeling the need to worry about his personal struggles with alcohol being leaked to the press.
Two weeks later he found himself at a social gathering at his sponsors house, a family garden party of sorts, alcohol free of course, and that’s where he first met Olivia Dane. He and Olivia seemed to have an instant connection, no awkward spots in their conversations, no awkward silences where he felt the need to fill time with rambling. Conversation flowed freely. He left that night not having a single drop of alcohol, and with her number in his phone. One week later they were out to dinner ams six weeks after that had her on his arm down the red carpet.
Eliza and Harry never discussed the kiss. For him it was something he was able to freely move passed, for her it was so much more. The kiss lingered on her mind for weeks and weeks she had so many unanswered questions, questions she knew she might never have answers to. The two had reverted back to old ways, going through third parties to organise Harry spending time with Koa and Lennon. Eliza didn’t love the idea of not having any contact with Harry, especially because they had just started going to therapy and she was really hoping that this would be the turning point in their co-parenting attempt. She was happy that their children had their father back though, every child deserves happy and healthy parents was her fundamental belief. That’s truly all she has ever wanted for Harry, for him to be happy and healthy. With Harry out of the picture for her, she spent more time getting closer to her now partner Andrew. She never spoke a word of the kiss.
harrystyles . MINE .
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The post took Eliza by surprise. She saw it on a Sunday morning as she was lazing in bed. She wanted to be happy for him, she wanted him to love and to be loved, but she still wanted him to love her. It was selfish of her, and she was aware of this. Selfish because she has and still was seeing someone else, so why shouldn’t he be able to do the same. But that kiss still lingered in the back of her mind.
She would come to find out some hours later that at some point during the day Harry had unfollowed her on all social media platforms. This hurt her more than it should have, Andrew copping the brunt of her anger, leading them to a huge argument where he had accused her of still being in love with Harry. I can’t be in this relationship with you Eliza, this isn’t healthy. You still love him and that’s okay, but let’s be honest here you can’t love him and still have me. He was right. They ended things that night.
Harry was thinking about introducing Olivia to his kids. It had been on his mind for a while, probably from the second week he had known her. Him co-parenting with Eliza made it harder for him to see Olivia on weekends. He had just gotten into such a good schedule with having the kids again he didn’t want to cancel visits, but he also didn’t want to lay in bed alone at night when they were asleep. Olivia didn’t fancy children very much, her opinion of children didn’t change just because they were linked to the man she was sleeping with. Harry waited three months before he organised a brunch date where she would meet the children.
Anne had gone to Elizas to pick up the children just as she had been all this time. Koa had fallen ill and Eliza had almost canceled their visit but she had caught wind that the kids would be meeting Olivia and decided against canceling, but packing everything from his prescription medication to his favourite lovey just to be safe, writing out a note giving perfectly clear descriptions about the contents of the bag and their uses.
Olivia rolled her eyes and complained about said bag and note she seems so dramatic over a damn cold were her exact words. Harry didn’t say anything in return letting her comment slide. It was moments like this that he would come to later regret, letting things slide was in his opinion the way people got into bad behaviours, but he loved her and didn’t want to royally fuck this day up over a comment before it had even really started.
He seemed to think that the brunch went well, Olivia on the other hand was less than enthused. Koa had spilt his yoghurt, Lennon her orange juice, children were crying and there was snot everywhere. Despite her distaste for the children of the man she loved, she smiled through it. But really all she could think about was ways to get Harry to herself next weekend, child (and snot) free. She somehow managed it and the following weekend, an hour before Harry was scheduled to have the kids, he canceled. Something about a surprise weekend in Paris that had been sprung on him at the last minute was the reasoning Eliza had gotten off of Anne.
oliviadane you had me at bonjour ❤️
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Harry’s visits with the children had become few and far between by late September. Fallon’s anniversary was fast approaching and Eliza was not coping. Anne, who had stayed in contact with her and loved her like a second daughter picked up on it. Eliza was out of sorts, and rightfully so. She had a lot on her plate between the twins and mentally trying to process the upcoming date. Harry on the other hand was off in a different country every week. Brushing off the responsibilities of parenthood had yet again come so easy to him, Eliza wasn’t surprised at this point. Old habits die hard. Anne had let her concerns about Eliza known to Gemma who went to visit to see for herself. Eliza was a mess, Anne had not been lying. Gemma gave Harry and absolute ear bashing on the phone, told him how much of a disappointment he was to her and their mother, how his kids would resent him some day, how he should be ashamed of himself. Gemmas words must have hit a nerve, or at least talked some sense into him. The following week Harry had done a complete 180 again and the visits with the children, much to Olivia’s dismay, were back on schedule.
It started with small incidents at first. Koa coming home crying, Lennon expressing her disinterest in going to her fathers house for weekend visits. The weekend before Fallon’s anniversary was the last straw. Koa was screaming and crying as Anne’s car pulled away from Eliza’s house. Eliza could hear his blood curdling shrieks from down the road as she stood frozen in her driveway watching her babies drive away. She hated sending them to him when they were in such a state but she couldn’t figure out what the sudden change had been, they had always loved spending time with their dad until suddenly the didn’t.
Harry came home from the studio at around lunchtime. His mum had brought the kids some hours earlier and Olivia had been with them for the few hours that they had been there. Harry did not expect to come home to two screaming, crying, hyperventilating children. How long have they been crying? Olivia rolled her eyes and told him they hadn’t shut up since they had gotten there, adding in that they had given her a splitting headache and she was very happy he was home because now they were his problem.
Harry knew in that moment that he would have to break up with her. Her small comments about his children and the mother of his children needed to stop, he thought that once she got used to the idea of having the kids around and spending more time with them to get to know them a little better that the comments would stop, but they didn’t. He couldn’t change her, her hatred for children was so deep seeded there was no flipping this situation. He thought that perhaps they could spend one last night together and that he would break it off in the morning once the children had left, but then he noticed the bruises on the children’s arms. When he asked Lennon what had happened she simply pointed to Olivia and that was enough to send him into a fit. Olivia had her bags packed and was out of the house by nightfall.
Elizas doorbell rang at approximately 7.45pm. She found Harry on her doorstep childless. She panicked thinking something had happened to the twins at first and he must have seen it in her face because he just about jumped at the chance to tell her that his mother was watching them. This had been the first time since the kiss that the two had seen each other. She pulls the door open more than it had been and lets him stroll through. She makes him a coffee whilst she makes herself a tea and then he tells her everything. She wants to press charges, to hunt this lady down and give her a bruising. Harry tells her that the children need her to be with them at home and not in a jail cell, she decides for once that Harry may have the better judgement here and settles down with Harry promising to never bring her, or any other woman, around their kids every again.
The following weekend, the family of four had an afternoon picnic at Fallon’s grave. It was nothing special, Eliza and Harry both cried the whole time, holding each other extra tight. It had been a rough year for the both of them, they had come so far yet here they found themselves back where they belonged the most... in each other’s arms, surrounded by all their children.
With Olivia gone, Koa and Lennon relaxed and seemed to be once again enjoying their time with Harry. Truth be told, she had been enjoying time with Harry too. He became a regular for breakfasts at Eliza’s, and then when the kids were at kindy he became a regular for lunch, and then dinner and then a regular in her bed. This has been over the course of a few months, Eliza made boundaries very early on and part of her stipulations were that they needed to have weekly therapy and not put too much pressure on themselves. In true Harry and Eliza style, the two didn’t take things too slow.
Harry and Eliza remarried in a causal courthouse ceremony in late January, his mum and Gemma were their witnesses. They went to a swanky restaurant to celebrate with the most expensive Sunday roast dinner Harry has ever had in his life. Harry surprised the public with the news, they had somehow managed to keep the rekindling of their relationship under wraps and the media and fans lost their minds in unison. The pair were a hot topic for days.
harrystyles Eliza Ray Styles, I am so lucky that you agreed to marry me twice in one lifetime. I don’t deserve you, but I will love you until the day I die. Love you, wife.
Liked by elizastyles, annetwist and 32,763,278 others.
A few weeks later, it was their turn to be surprised with news that they were once again expecting. Both Harry and Eliza were secretly relieved to only see one baby on the screen at the first appointment. Eliza decided to keep this pregnancy to herself, Harry had no tours and no press junkets and no radio interviews and the pair were both able to fully enjoy the pregnancy. Eliza went into labour in the early out of October 3rd, what would have been Fallon’s 6th birthday, and gave birth and home in the water just six hours later. They once again found themselves trending for days after the announcement of the birth of their son.
elizastyles for the last nine months, we have been holding the news of this little blessing very close to our hearts. One month ago, Jairus Cohen Styles arrived three weeks early, happy and healthy, and shares a birthday with his Angel sister Fallon Noel. Our family is complete. We are both tired and in love ❤️
Liked by harrystyles, jefezoff and 7,625,618 others.
#Harry styles#harry styles fanfictions#harry styles fanfic#harry styles oneshot#harry styles imagine#harry styles x reader#harry styles x you#harry styles writing#hs2#harry styles tpwk#harry styles fine line#fine line
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friend of a friend ~ Calum Hood (song drabble)
my masterlist │ my song drabbles
song i used as inspiration: new hope club ~ friend of a friend
words: 1.9K
approximate reading time: about 10-15 mins
a/n: just a short, fluffy blurb with baby Cal, not exactly my favourite song drabble i've ever written, but that's alright. anything with Calum Hood in it is worth writing. i hope you enjoy reading this, and if you do, please like and/or comment to help a lonely writer feel a little less alone.
Out of the corner of his eyes, Calum could see a person approaching the group he was bluntly keeping an eye on. He turned his head to the side in fear that it was her boyfriend, jaw dropping as soon as his mind placed a name next to the fairly familiar face of the newly arrived.
Jacob. Back in primary school, they were good friends. And now he was seemingly part of the squad gathering next to the small stage as they greeted him so joyously.
Calum watched to see if there was anything hinting at Jacob being romantically involved with the girl, but other than a friendly hug and wide smiles, nothing happened, leaving him much relieved.
"Who are you gawking at so hard?" Mali-Koa chuckled, arriving back to her brother with two glasses of champagne.
"No one," he was quick to tear his eyes off the young girl.
"Sure," his sister frowned but pressed no more.
By the time the wedding ceremony ended, the perfect plan had already formed in his head about how he could accidentally get closer to the gorgeous woman and maybe even introduce himself and possibly start a conversation. He just had to walk up to Jacob to reminisce about the good old times.
He ate the dinner in impatient silence, only short answers left his lips when someone sitting around him asked something. The food was absolutely delicious, but his mind was filled with thoughts trying to bring his plan to perfection to the brim, leaving no space for him to contemplate the savoury chef-d'oeuvre.
He kept on glancing back at her, and multiple times she looked up and caught his eyes, making him swiftly turn away with sparkles running inside his body and a blush appearing in his face.
As soon as music got louder and people swarmed the dancefloor, he was ready to approach the group, but just as he had stood up, a random guy came in the picture and took the girl to dancing. Without her around it was pointless to go up and chat with Jacob so he slumped back down on his chair with a frustrated frown on his face.
"Are you okay?" Mali-Koa leant closer, gently touching his arm.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Then is it okay for me to go dancing?"
Calum looked up slightly confused. If he said there was something wrong, she would've said no to dancing and stayed with him? Love towards his sister warmed up his heart and he faked a perfectly happy smile on his face to reassure her.
"I'll be alright here, just have to relax a bit after eating," he shrugged.
Mali-Koa left the table joyously, leaving him alone to continue successfully pulling his plan off. He was determined to jump at any chance given when the girl sits back at their table, tired from all the dancing.
Calum had to wait for several more songs to end, several guys who got a chance to dance with her before his time had come. By the time she slumped down at her chair, he was halfway there.
"Jacob!" He exclaimed when he was in hearing distance. "Long time no see!"
The mentioned boy turned around, eyes widening at the sight of his old friend. He swiftly jumped up from his seated position, pulling him in a hug.
"Cal! How are you, man?"
"Fine, everything's going right. What's up with you?" Calum tried hard to fight the urge to glance at the girl more often than it was acceptable, but being so close to her made every simple, easy thing ten times harder.
"Everything's the same as it was the last time we met. Slowly but surely I'm lunging forward in the business," Jacob let out a laugh. "Music's really be working out for you, huh? Who would've thought back then?"
Calum laughed with him, nodding as he tried to come up with something to say that wouldn't sound self-centered or stupid but would describe how it all was in his life.
"Oh, so you're that Calum!" A new voice chirped in their conversation, and Cal's pulse rapidly quickened when he realised who spoke. It was the girl. He looked back at his friend for both explanation and introduction, and Jacob swiftly implemented.
"Cal, this is my friend from college, (y/n). And (y/n), yes, this is that Calum," he placed a friendly slap against Calum's back. "Calum Hood himself."
"Nice to meet you!" The girl, (y/n) stood up, reaching out to shake his hand.
"You too."
He was just about to open his mouth to say something else, he was indeed waiting for this moment the whole night, but in the background a new song started and a loud exclaim left Jacob.
"It's my go-to song! Sorry, pal, gotta leave you here now, I can't not dance to this!" And within less than a moment he was already in the middle of the dancefloor busting out his flawless dance moves.
Quite awkwardly Calum turned back, afraid that without his friend's presence (y/n) would search for other company, but the girl was still watching him with curious eyes.
"So you're the bassist of 5 Seconds Of Summer, right?" (y/n) asked.
"Yeah," he replied, waiting for her to continue.
"Not really my type of music, but I guess you're too famous to be bad."
A few moments of silence set between the two of them, Calum feeling a bit taken aback by the sudden and sharp honesty. It wasn't often anyone said something like this to him.
The next thing he knew was (y/n) bursting out in laughter.
"You should've seen your face," she spoke up half a minute of laughing later, grabbing at her sides. "To be totally honest with you, though, I truly don't listen to that kind of music you make, but I actually did listen to many of your songs and they're good. Just not what I would listen to on my own."
"Okay. Thanks, I guess," Calum smiled, moving his shoulders in a small shrug. "Do you mind if I sit down?"
"Please, feel free to do so," she pointed at Jacob's free chair.
"So you two met in college?"
"Yep. He was the roommate of my boyfriend at the time and we almost instantly bonded and became great friends."
"Oh, nice!"
"You think so?" (y/n) giggled. "Jacob can be a stubborn pain in the ass, maybe it would've been better without him in my life."
They both started laughing before the girl swiftly took it all back, claiming that it was only a joke and Jacob actually saved her from that terrible relationship. That actually gave Calum a subject to have a conversation with the girl about, and about fifteen minute later, with each a slice of cake in front of them on the table they were still talking, much to the boy's extreme inner happiness.
"Enough of me, you're the star. Tell me about how it is, living such a life," she eventually prompted.
"Ugh, okay," Cal nodded, but couldn't find the perfect words to say and stayed silent.
"Come on, it must be pretty exciting. Probably even the smallest details would leave me in awe. I live the simplest life ever."
He took a deep breath to calm his swiftly beating heart and let go of the thought that it was someone he already liked so much who asked him for description.
As soon as he started speaking, the words seemed to flow out from his mouth. The perfect thoughts came to his mind complemented with the perfect words, for him an unusual but incredible combination.
"Wanna dance?" He asked, noticing the girl casting numerous glances towards the dance floor.
"Actually, I was thinking about trying to escape from the building. I could really use some fresh air and quiet. What do you think, can we manage?"
Calum was surprised hearing her proposal, but leaving to an even more private place to continue their conversation seemed the greatest idea ever.
"We should give it a try," he grinned and stood up before in a moment of bravery he reached out to grab her hand. She showed no resistance just jumped up, grabbed her purse and followed him out of the room by the wall, behind everyone on the dancefloor.
"That was much easier than I thought," (y/n) giggled as she leant against the wall of the building, letting the coolness sweep through the thin material of her dress.
"Exactly," Cal nodded along. "I thought at least Jacob would notice but it seems like disappeared somewhere."
"Yeah, and actually I'm pretty glad you came up to him because if you haven't, now I'd be sitting all alone at our table."
"You're welcome."
"And you're not as bad of a company as I thought you to be," the girl admitted, making him stop pacing up and down in front of her he was doing nonstop ever since getting out of the wedding venue.
"You expected me to be bad company?" He frowned.
"I mean, yeah," (y/n) shrugged. "You're a world wide famous musician. You have every reason to be cocky."
"Okay, I see." Calum couldn't help but feel a bit hurt by her accusation, no matter how well he knew she was partially right.
"But you proved me wrong, and that's what matters," she continued, touching his arm sweetly.
They smiled at each other, a comfortable, nice feeling filling the air around them as if they were in their own little bubble, not bothered by the real world.
Though the next moment this bubble suddenly bursted when a wobbly figure exited the building, almost tripping in his own feet.
"(y/n), is that you?" Jacob asked, voice proving his slightly drunken state.
"Yep."
"And is your promise to take me home still on?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" (y/n) frowned as her friend got closer. "I didn't drink anything."
"Because of your company," Jacob chuckled with a smug look on his face.
"Oh, come on, Jacob," she sighed. "We're only talking."
"I know, I know," the boy put his hands up in defense before bursting out laughing once again. "But who knows where the night would end?"
"Shut up, just go get our things."
When their mutual friend disappeared inside once again, she turned back to Calum.
"So, I have to go now."
"Yeah," the young man nodded, feeling sadness pang in his chest.
"What, are you going to let me leave without asking the one question that was so obviously on the tip of your tongue the whole night?" (y/n) let out a laugh.
Calum felt his eyes widen by the girl's observation and he gulped before eventually speaking up, eyes casted to the ground to hide his embarrassment for being so evident.
"Wanna, like– I mean, if you're not busy... We could get lunch someday? Or even just coffee if you don't have a lot of time?"
"Sure, yeah."
"Really?" He looked up in surprise.
"Yes, dumbass. I enjoyed talking tonight, we should continue it sometime," (y/n) explained, pulling her phone out of her purse. "Here, give me your number so we could arrange the date and location."
Calum still felt stunned as his fingers almost instinctively typed in the numbers one by one before handing the devide back to the girl. She swiftly tapped away on it, and the next moment his phone beeped in his pocket.
"I sent a text so you have my number too."
They stared at each other's eyes in silence before (y/n) suddenly stepped closer and pressed a lingering kiss on his cheek. Cal subconsciously leant into her touch but before he could react any more properly, she was already halfway towards the door.
With one last wave and a glance above her shoulder she disappeared, leaving Calum standing frozen in the dark night. Slowly he managed to make himself take the first step and eventually set off to stroll inside the building, his fingers pulling out his phone to open her text and save her number.
Next time don't be so shy, rockstar, I'm not biting. Xx
.::the end::.
my masterlist
#calum hood#song drabble#calum hood imagine#calum hood fanfiction#calum hood reader#calum x reader#x reader#imagine#fanfiction#fanfic#nonstoplover#friend of a friend#new hope club#nhc#5sos#five seconds of summer#5 seconds of summer#lyrics#song lyrics#blurb
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For the headcanon{s}, can you talk about Beth's mental illness? How it does and does not impact her daily life, if things trigger it, how she handled this after losing Riley {in verses that are sans Riley, obviously}, and what some of her experiences have been? I feel like it's something people determinedly overlook about her, and I'd like to know!
This.
“You can’t be fuckin’ serious!”
“You keep a civil tongue in that head of yours, boy. I think I know what’s best for your sister.”
“With all due respect, sir... you haven’t known what’s best in-”
Beth is an oyster.
Vague lines and curves that are nothing remarkable perhaps to the point of being unappealing. She can only burrow into the Sand....sandy...Andy. Andy and the Admiral are outside of the room, arguing about the proper course of treatment. She can’t hear every word because she’s underwater and all the sounds are so far away as to be indistinct from the beeping of the monitor that is keeping track of her vital signs. The bandages on her pseudo-pods ~arms, they’re arms, Beth~ are too heavy. They keep her trapped to this bed where she can’t really move and she doesn’t know why. It’s all wriggling around inside of her. A parasite. One she has to wrap in smooth layers of aragonite and conchiolin. Layer after microscopic crystalline layer. Maybe if it’s smooth enough and round enough, maybe if it has enough lustre, then they will set her free. She’s so very tired but she doesn’t have her turtle, and the thin cotton gown isn’t warm enough, worn thin in places. The blankets are too scratchy and the air smells funny, too many chemicals that it’s making her feel nauseous.
But that’s all wrong. Oysters don’t have blankets and they aren’t tied down to beds and they don’t... they don’t...
“Electroshock! How can you? Look at her. She’s just a kid!”
“And your sister nearly killed herself tonight, Andrew. I am done discussing this with you. I’m your father, and a neurosurgeon. If anyone is capable of choosing a treatment plan, it isn’t a teen age boy.”
~*~
Beth was fourteen years old when she was diagnosed however wrongly with Depression mood disorder with features of psychosis, after she smashed her bedroom mirror with her fists, deeply slashing her arms from wrists to elbows. The symptoms leading up to this moment certainly were red-flags for what was wrong with her, all of them classic to the specific diagnosis: the trouble concentrating or making decisions, chronic fatigue, feelings of guilt and worthlessness, insomnia, restlessness, loss of appetite, phantom aches and pains that didn’t seem to go away, persistent sadness and anxiety. It isn’t uncommon for girls and young women diagnosed with Turner Syndrome to also develop depression. And her father felt the matter was cut and dry, despite strenuous objections from her brother.
She spent three miserable weeks in an in-patient psychiatric facility receiving less than pleasant electroconvulsive therapy, psychotherapy and was prescribed citalopram {Celexa}. Which made Beth absolutely nauseous to the point that she had trouble keeping water down, only worsened her sleeping troubles, and made her jittery. As soon as the Admiral shipped out again for a year long deployment aboard the USNS Comfort, Andy took her back to the doctor to get a second opinion.
It was then, at fifteen, that she was re-diagnosed correctly with Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Disorder. Andy nursed her through the withdrawal of the citalopram and taking over her care regiment seemed to do his sister wonders, as she started to be the sweet and gentle girl he’d always known her to be. He’d sort out her medication by days of the week, would make sure she took the right ones at the right times with her meals, going out of his way to cook things she could stomach, letting her sleep in his bed when she wanted to, and for years after, she seemed to improve. She went months without crippling depression and her manic and hypomanic states were few and far between as well.
Then everything changed.
Beth was accepted into several universities and chose Columbia, knowing that their pre-med program was top-notch and their medical school was even better, and wouldn’t require her to change schools for the duration of her education. Having just turned sixteen in June she was starting a new life perhaps far younger than she ought to have.
There was major upheaval, stress and abject terror at leaving Hawai’i behind, going almost as far away as possible. She was not prepared for the cross-continent move. Neither was she prepared for living on her own. Perhaps she simply expected to live with Andy the whole of her life, or at the very least through her under-grad years. But after the initial first two months that it took to move into their grandparents’ apartment in Brooklyn, and Andy setting up all of her bills, hiring a cook and house keeper, making sure she got settled in as a freshman, he enlisted in the US Air-Force. She saw very little of her brother for the next two years, and the only thing that kept Beth from failing out of school was the idea that she would be sent home to live with the Admiral.
She began to notice that her medication {bupropion aka Wellbutrin} seemed less effective during this time. She was barely getting more than three hours of sleep at night, and maybe half that during day time naps. She experiences bouts of nausea that once again made eating difficult to prioritise, a feature that would last her entire life thus far, with Beth being at least twenty pounds consistently underweight. She also began to experience chronic sore throats, what she describes as her bladder shrinking down to the size of a pea, and worse...tinnitus that became co-morbid with her audio processing disorder.
The few times during the year that she was able to see Andy, things seemed to get better....until she crashed immediately after he left again.
Beth decided she no longer wanted to take her medication.
~*~
“C’mon Beth, I’m getting married, it’s not like I’m dying!”
“GET OUT! GETOUTGETOUTGETOUT!”
She’s throwing things at him. She’s destroyed seven plates,six coffee mugs and at least one irreplaceable vase. There are so many tears, so much snot, it’s hard to believe his sister is almost eighteen and not eight. But thankfully, she’s still so short she can’t reach the stemware and is forced to come out from behind the island kitchen.
Which means he manages to get his arms around her, a bear hug from behind that locks her stick-figure arms to her chest. She fusses and has a fit, kicking and trying to bite him, but his training in Pararescue has taught him how to hold someone without hurting them.
“I’m not gonna leave you, jelly bean, I promise. And you’ll like Lana. She’s a real nice girl, her family’s from Jersey, and she’ll be moving in with us. You won’t have to-”
“LA LA LA! NO CAN HEAR YOU!”
Beth is a hermit crab.
She can just shrink back into her shell and keep everyone out. She can hide down in the bottom of the sea and let the water of her Mother’s arms wash over her and if anything gets close, she’ll pinch them to bits.
But she really isn’t. She isn’t a hermit crab, she’s just a girl and there’s nothing that can keep everything inside of her from dying a slow and painful death. Because now Andy is not only not going to be around, but he’s getting married. To a stranger no less. But like a hermit crab, her house is too small and this woman is never setting foot inside of it. And it’s his stupid fault, because that’s what her brother is...stupid.
Doesn’t he know that no one will love him like she does? That no one depends on and needs him as much? Doesn’t he know they’re supposed to be together, forever and always? Doesn’t he know he’s the only person who truly loves her? The person who said he’d never leave her? Why does he need a wife anyway? She can do everything this Lana person can, and better. If he’d just let her prove it, he’d see!
~*~
But he didn’t.
Andy ended up getting married.
Beth dropped out of medical school before completing her residency, but applied her credits to nursing. She was absolutely certain the Admiral was going to have a stroke that she had decided not to become a neurosurgeon like him, or his second choice, a cardiologist. Emergency room nursing suits her needs. She is indoors and on her feet throughout the darkness of the night when home is ever so lonely. It feeds the excessive energy that floods her system and lets her literally crash, semi-conscious during the sometimes three, sometimes four consecutive days she has off.
Life settles into a medication-less routine. Beth finally grows her final inch in height, puts on a few more pounds so she doesn’t seem nearly as cadaverous as she did before. She can blame late occurring puberty for that and for just the most brief moments of time, things seemed to have found their balance. There were no great highs. There were no life-threatening lows. Beth could finally breath.
At least until....the sun burned out and destroyed everything in a single knock on the door.
Perfunctory words that echo in her dreams.
~*~
“Miss Riley, on behalf of the Chief of Staff, United States Air Force, I regret to inform you of the untimely death of your brother, Second Lieutenant Andrew M. Riley-”
Beth Riley...isn’t anything any more.
All of everything that was bright and best within her is now a single leg and some bone fragments in a beautiful koa wood casket. It is a folded flag put into her hands. It’s the reception in the Admiral’s house and an incredibly long line of people talking and talkingandtalkingandtalkingandtalking and saying nothing at all. She can’t breath. She can’t feel. Nothing makes sense and it never will because what do you say when half of you is ripped away and gone forever? What do you do when the world stops turning and the sun has burnt out of the sky?
Beth slips out of the house without being noticed. She manages to get in her brother’s Mustang and heads into the city proper, and ends up at the bar he used to like to frequent when he was on leave. She sits at the bar and orders scotch, 25 year Macallan.
She buys the bottle.
She buys the entire bar drink after drink until last call.
She lets someone take her home. Gets into his apartment. Doesn’t really feel his mouth and his hands pawing at her. Doesn’t feel anything really at all until she shoves him away. Things become blurry after that and she only really vaguely remembers calling Jay from a payphone some blocks away.
She can’t find her shoes. But that doesn’t matter.
Nothing does.
Three months later ~one hundred days, to be precise~ Beth quits her job. She turns her utilities off. Throws a few things including her wallet, her passport, and her rosary into a sea bag that she’s had forever.
Darfur. The Democratic Republic of Congo. Amsterdam. Uruguay. Wherever Médecins Sans Frontières will let her go, to treat people living in the worst conditions. Ironic, isn’t it...that no matter where she goes, Beth always manages to make it back. That all those fears Andy had of her killing herself from neglect or inattention, or even possibly through deliberate action, and she can’t get so much as a life-threatening paper cut?
It isn’t fair.
And maybe...maybe it doesn’t matter.
There’s a lot of ways you can die in Louisiana.
She hears the coffee in New Orleans is really wonderful.
#mynameisanakin#She's Talking To Angels {Bethisms}#Making Wishes on Passing Cars|Answered Asks#mental health tw#medication tw#suicidal ideation tw
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One Moment At A Time
Type: IMAGINE | ONE SHOT | MULTI CHAPTER
Summary: Delaware has been in and out of the foster care system for the longest time until she docks with the Hemmings. Through harassment, playful actions, and a few received slaps, Michael Clifford has decided to make her time there incredible and unforgettable.
Word Count: 16.0k
Note: If you would like to request a one shot / imagine / story prompt then I am accepting requests currently and I would love to take them! This took me a while and I didn’t have much time to proofread it, but I hope you’ll like it! Alng with that, Mali-Koa is younger than she would’ve been at this time, and the age difference between her and Calum is a lot less than real life.
Warnings: Sadly, none :)
-
She was proud of her name throughout grade school, the middle years of uncomfortable pubescence, and the first weeks of high school, but after her last foster family, she couldn’t help but hate every syllable and letter among the long word. The last house she was at, the woman that acted as a mother told her to come up with a nickname or something else to be called rather than Delaware because that’s such a stupid name. “Della,” the fat woman told her before tucking greasy strands of hair behind her large ears. “That’s much better than Delaware. If you stay for a while, we’ll get the paperwork to change it to Della entirely and you’ll never be disgraced with the idiocy of your birth mother.” Then, she stroked Delaware’s shoulder with an inconsiderate hand and commented on bleaching purple hair dye from her long locks so she’d appear more presentable.
After a year of living in an abusive foster house, Delaware cringes when somebody even whispers her real name. She’ll flip around when she hears that word, no matter the conversation, and tell them that it’s Della, and if you dare say, Delaware, she’ll smack you upside down and backward. She said that to her teacher on accident, just a few days before packing up her bedroom, causing a suspension and the demand for her to be removed from the Karlsen household ASAP. She didn’t realize Mr. Lund had been telling another student about his trip to the state Delaware the summer before, and he wasn’t forgiving from her threat.
Mrs. Hemmings- sorry, Liz, was very considerate and made a point to ask Delaware what she’d prefer to be called. She’d fostered a kid that preferred to go by Styles, his last name, then Harry like everybody else had taught him. Delaware mumbled ‘Della’ before tucking long box-bleached hair underneath her grey hoodie. Liz carried a bag up the stairs for Delaware so she could idle in the living room with a mess of boys.
They all looked exactly alike- and that majorly fucked with her head. Liz hurried back down the stairs and captured Delaware’s pale hand in her own and lead her to her new bedroom. A white-walled room with shaggy carpet that would scratch your skin if you fell asleep on top of it. Liz sat Delaware -the girl frozen in fear of being snapped at- on her new bed and pulled five different pillowcases from the top shelf of the closet and asked her to pick the one she liked best. Delaware pointed at a jersey sheet with purple and gold planets swirling around a peach background. Liz walked out of the room to grab the bedsheet set that Delaware picked out, and Delaware finally had a moment to take in the look of the room.
A stripped mattress on a black bed frame against a wall, with just a few inches in between the left side of the bed and a large windowsill. Then, there are two black box shelves underneath the white sill that seem to be onto a foot tall and a foot wide each. That interests Delaware. What in the world could be put there? On the other side of the sill sits a blank desk with a brand new stationery set and plain notebooks. The sliding closet door is a mirror and a few feet away from the desk. Delaware can’t see very well inside of the closet, but she notices clothes. Like shirts, and a few pairs of jeans, and a black flowy dress that would be something she’d have to dream for.
“Here,” Liz says, setting down the bedspread Delaware picked out. “I can put this on for you. Unpack your stuff the way you’d like, okay? Make this room the way you want to feel at home. Even if that means buying posters, and I have some Christmas lights downstairs if those interest you, and whatever else you say your room needs. Ask for it, and we will get it just for you.”
A warm feeling spreads through Delaware’s body, from her neck down to her frozen toes. She opens one of the bags she’d brought from the Karlsen house and pulls clothes from inside. They’re wrinkled, and most of them haven’t been washed since the week before she’d left. The Saturday after her suspension was laundry day, meaning nothing had been cleaned before that. She thought about it for a second. Should she ask if these can be washed first, or should she wait until Liz asks her?
“Is there a laundry basket I can use?” Liz barely hears. Delaware is so soft, so quiet and unheard that she’s surprised by her behavior. Her other foster child is so loud and outgoing she half expected Delaware to be that way. Though, she should have expected that almost all of the other kids she’d had been closed off and emotionless. He’s only an exception because he and her youngest son had been best friends for the longest time until his mother gave up, and Liz took him without a second thought. She pushed and pushed for adoption to come through fully, but his mom kept trying to clean up from her drug addiction and every once in awhile she’d say that she wanted her son back from Liz. No matter what, Liz will still adopt Ashton in a heartbeat.
“Of course, Della,” Liz gripped the bedsheet onto one of the corners and let the others sit as she reached underneath the bed frame for a large white basket. “Here. I’m going to do a load of laundry in a little bit. Feel free to put whatever you need in here, and if there are any special instructions for things just let me know.”
Delaware threw things in the basket and hung clothes in the closet, dividing the clothes that had been there and hers with two plastic hangers. Inside the closet, she was given a small dresser that she stuffed with her pitying amount of clothes. The clothes she’d left in the laundry room and the shirts Mrs. Karlsen’s daughter had borrowed are still there, waiting for somebody to take them to Delaware, but she’ll never be given them back. She’d given Madison Karlsen, the eldest of the children, a shirt from her first foster family. One with her name on the back of it in large black letters that looped together. On the front was the family’s brand -her first foster family lived on a farm- on the left breast. Delaware had to leave that family because her father was granted custody for two weeks before getting another DUI. It was to prove that she’d always have a residence there if she wanted to go back, and even though she’d fought for that family again, the social worker said no.
It didn’t take Delaware long to unpack her clothes and the few sketchbooks, reading books, and shoes she’d brought. Liz was still busying herself to make sure the corners of Delaware’s bed were tucked with love. She wiped her hands on her blue jeans after tucking the corners and looked over how Delaware placed things. All the books she owned on the box shelves underneath the windowsill, a pair of black Converse on top, and the closet closed quietly behind her.
“Would you like to meet the boys? They look like they bite, but in reality, I’ll kick their butts.”
Delaware giggled with her hand covering her crooked teeth. “Sure.”
Liz leads her down the carpeted stairs and into the lounge. Her sons, all four of them were playing Fifa on the flatscreen and the voices of Calum Hood and Michael Clifford were coming out of Luke and Ben’s phones on the coffee table.
Liz and Andrew have two living rooms- one where the boys play their video games and hang out with their friends, and the one where Liz and Andrew can watch TV in peace, without listening to the constant bickering of four boys arguing over who gets to control the remote. A lot of times, the boys will take up every inch of space on top of their leather couch, and one of them will have to plant his butt on the hardwood, just to watch TV with their parents. Liz finds humor when Luke and Ashton have to argue over who gets to sit on the floor and who gets to sit on the couch, and the occasion Ashton sitting on top of Luke and crushing him.
“Sup, mom,” Ashton greets Liz, looking over his shoulder at her. Just an attempt to get on her good side after refusing to clean his room.
“Hey! Mom!” Calum screams through Luke’s phone. “What’s up! I gotta’ come over for dinner, right? Because you love me more than Mike?”
“Hell no, Calum!” Michael screams in Ben’s phone, overhearing Calum’s convincing plea to Liz. “Mom, you love me, right? Like, more than Jack, obviously, but you’ll give me the pizza instead of Cal? I’m really hungry over here and my mom hasn’t fed me today and-”
“-Don’t guilt-trip her Michael Gordon!” Calum interrupts. They start to bicker over who will get pizza from Liz. It’s not like they have to ask anymore- they can show up unannounced and she’ll fill their bellies as if they were her other children. Except, she kind of prefers Ashton over all of them- he’s the one she chose.
“Anyways,” Liz ignored the boys arguing through speakerphones, speaking low enough for her sons to hear her. “Della, that’s Luke, and over there is Jack -he’s the oldest so he won’t bother you much-, and that’s Ben, and he’s Ashton.” Delaware follows Liz’s finger from a boy in a black tank top and a quiff that reaches the ceiling, to one with a hoodie covering his head and staring right at her, to the one that looks like a replica of the hoodie boy, to one that seems to be apart of the brotherly bunch with a few different facial features. “This is Della. Be nice or I’ll hit you all.” Liz wags her finger threateningly to her sons. They all drop their controllers and put their hands up in surrender. “That’s what I thought. Tell Michael and Calum that I will give them both pizza if they just shut up.”
“Got it!” The arguing boys confirm at the same time.
“I’m putting on pants right now, Mom, and I’ll be there in five minutes!” Calum screams. He ends the call before Liz has a moment to tell him that they have company. She drops her head into her hands.
“Hell no! I’ll fucking get over there before him, Mom! Bet my ass-”
“-Michael!” Liz screams. She grabs onto Delaware’s hand to lead the short girl into the other living room to meet Andrew.
“What?”
“Language!” She turns to Delaware. “They’re Michael and Calum.”
“The only reason we put up with them is because of Luke,” Jack yelled over his shoulder.
Luke shoves his older brother. “Liar! You brought Calum around here when you were trying to get with Mali-Koa!” Liz pretended to not hear her youngest and continued to lead her new favorite kid through the house.
-
“So your name is Della?” Michael Clifford asked through a mouthful of pepperoni pizza and Pepsi. Jack knocked on the younger boys’ head when he walked past his spot at the table, grimacing at Michaels’ poor table manners. Michael flipped Jack off in response, so Jack puffed his chest out quickly to make Michael flinch. “Jesus Christ, dude! Calm your tits.”
“Yes, my name is Della,” Delaware answered. Her nimble fingers picked at the slice of cheese pizza she’d picked straight from the box and set on a napkin, and still hasn’t taken a bite from. She pulls small pieces off the crust and lays the bread in her mouth, rather than taking bites. With different foster families, she had to learn quickly that you let everybody else fill up on food before taking seconds. She’s had one family that starved her for two days because she took seconds, so one of the biological children didn’t get to take an entire serving for lunch the next day.
“Like Delaware?” Michael swallowed his pizza to avoid another slap from Jack. One thing Jack Hemmings hates about still living at home is his little brothers’ friends constantly playing video games, eating food, or just lounging around the house. He avoids bringing his friends home in embarrassment that Michael will be standing among the dining room table, in just his underwear … again. “How weird would that be? Naming your kid Delaware. Like could you imagine naming your kid Delaware,” laughed Michael. He prepared to shove the rest of his slice into his mouth. “I’m going to name my kid Kansas. That’s a cool name.” He shoves the rest of it into his mouth, stuffing the crust past his stretched-out lips and practically down his throat. “I should write a song called Pizza!”
Delaware stared at the atrocity happening at the table. “Gross.”
“This shit is normal,” replied Ben. They’d run out of chairs, not taking into consideration that Delaware would be joining them. Rather than getting out another chair for her, Ben gave up his and sat his butt on the round wood. Liz barely walked in before turning straight out of the dining room. She’d given up on it all. “Isn’t your name Delaware? Like, Mom told us to call you Della, but your real name is Delaware?”
Delaware took her stare from Michael and turned it to her napkin. Her cheeks and ears were beginning to burn a dark shade of red. “Yeah,”
“Wait what?” Michael said, choking down the carbs in his mouth. “Your parents named you Delaware? Like the state?”
“Shut up, Michael,” Calum slaps Micahel’s arm, resulting in a high pitched whine from the blond fringe sitting next to him. “Your middle name is literally Gordon!”
“Your middle name is literally Gordon!” Michael mocks in a high pitched, girly voice. “Whatever, Thomas.” He flicks Calum’s ear. “What’s your middle name, Delaware? Is it Boston?”
Delaware doesn’t look up from her food. She just stares at it and ignores Calum and Michael’s argument over whether or not Boston is in Delaware or New York, ignoring Luke’s gripes that it’s in Massachusetts and that they’re both idiots. Delaware picks at the crust of her pizza again, but she doesn’t place any of it in her mouth. Her poorly-manicured hands just shred the crust into tiny pieces until she physically can’t tear them anymore. She jumps when she feels a nudge in her ribs.
“I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to eat pizza, man,” Ashton laughs, taking a small bite of a cheese breadstick. Delaware doesn’t understand what he’s meaning; desiring more information about what he’s inferring, she just stares at him. She’s not putting anything into her mouth, so why would that make any sense. “You’re supposed to actually eat it, Della. You’re not a freak and can’t like … eat, right? We have a blender if-”
“-I can eat. I’m just not hungry.” She wanted to say his name, to amend the sentence, just in case somebody thinks she’s talking to herself. She’s never been around so many people at once, sitting at a single dinner table and not tied down into a seat and listening to chewing the scraping of forks against plates. Most foster homes she’s been to, you sit, you eat, and you don’t speak. You eat with their parents, sit next to your 'siblings’, and finish your plate by the time you leave the table. Delaware wonders if people that don’t finish their plates -actually, napkins- of pizza will hand off to Michael and he’ll be a human garbage disposal.
“Wanna know a funny story? Luke wanted caramel popcorn this morning and he put maple syrup on buttered-”
“-Ashton I swear if you finish that story, I’ll finish you,” Luke warned with a smile on his face, distracting from the pizza sauce on his cheek. Jack grabbed the bottom of Luke’s shirt and tore it up to Luke’s face to wipe the sauce from his oblivious brother. Luke swatted his brothers’ hand away from his face, and smack Jack’s forehead. These boys seem to be really into fighting.
“That is one weird daddy kink, Luke”
With wide eyes, Delaware stood from the table and turned on her heels to face the staircase just feet away. She sprang towards the stairs, not wanting to know the rest of what the bumbling idiots have to say. That’s just one weird conversation, especially for brothers. How in the world does Liz put up with all of this?
-
Of course, only the Delaware Williams would end up suspended on her first day of school. She’d asked Michael three times to stop calling her Delaware and to call her Della as everybody else had been, and he continued, saying it was her first name so that’s what she shall be called. She turned around and slapped him- didn’t even leave a mark, just stunned him for a few moments. Liz decided that Delaware shall serve her detention sentence, finish her suspension, and would be okay. She’d asked Michael to stop, but if she does it again then she’ll get in trouble at home.
Delaware was so thankful for the Hemmings taking her in, and not treating her like a criminal for something she didn’t even have time to think about doing. Though, she felt like she was a terrible person and a disgrace to everyone around her. She sat down in detention silently, sitting next to a girl with long dark hair, and plugged in headphones.
It only took a few seconds before she was pelted in the back of her head with a ball of paper. She whipped around to the girl with dark hair and shot her an angry look. “What?”
“Nothing,” the girl smiled and laughed a little bit. “Just wondering what little miss princess is doing in detention. Don’t you know, Luke, Ben, and Jack haven’t gotten single detention in their lives. Now, what’re you going to do?”
“Sacrifice children,” Delaware answered before rolling her eyes and laying her head on the desk. “Who even are you? Why do you know me?”
The girl smiled. “I’m Calum’s big sister, Mali-Koa. But, you’re the talk of the school. Now tell me, did you really give Michael Clifford a shiner like everyone says you did?”
Delaware rolled her eyes at Mali-Koa. Still, she didn’t reply verbally, just a little bit pissed off. She shoved her earbuds back into her ears, but Mali-Koa snatched one of them away. “What do you want?!” Delaware screamed.
Mali-Koa laughed. “You’re a blonde-haired beauty, and you’re listening to Slipknot? What the fuck?”
Delaware grabbed her earbud from the older girl. “Yeah, I know. I need a fucking makeover. Are you done now?”
Mali-Koa’s grin dropped into an actual smile. One that kind of frightened Delaware- the one that you see when someone has a good idea, rather than a sadistic one. She’s used to seeing people with sadistic smiles, ready to destroy everyone around her. She didn’t know people could actually be genuine. “Are you serious about needing a makeover? I’m studying cosmetology. I’d be willing to help.”
Delaware sat up. She noted how Mali-Koa’s got dark eyes that seem as if she put contacts in to darken them. Underneath sunlight, Delaware wonders, they’d probably be a beautiful shade of brown turning into pools of honey. She wishes she’d have an eye color that cool. She’s been stuck with a basic forest green that she’d never been taught to appreciate. “Are you being deadass?”
“Why not?”
“How do I know I can trust you to not completely fuck me up?”
“C'mon, I look like Calum. And Calum wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
“Fine, when?”
“When detention gets out, sweetheart,”
They barely stopped at the store, picking up a two-dollar box of a natural-colored hair dye so Delaware wouldn’t be forced to dye her hair back just because their school doesn’t allow odd colored hair. She opted for a boxed black, ready to no longer be a bleach blonde her ex-foster mother forced her to be. She’d sit her down in only a sports bra and shorts, and would bleach every part of Delaware’s hair with extra strength bleach so she’d fit in with their family. She never did.
Delaware drug Mali-Koa up the stairs, feeling the boots of her brand-new school uniform creating blisters on her feet as she hopped two steps at a time. Liz laughed and asked what they were going to do. Noting the hair shears shining through the plastic bag is Delaware’s hand, she figured somebody was going to have a change.
That happened with a lot of the foster kids she’d gotten. Originally, Ashton had a long fringe, and when Liz took him to get a haircut for school, he cut it all off and let his curls grow out the way he liked. She smiled, fit him in the family Christmas photos, and even helped him keep his curls healthy. Liz just wanted to love all of the children that came into her life and support their logical decisions. Her mission with Delaware includes letting her know that people love her, and she’s not as lonely as everyone’s made her think.
“Your daughter is getting a makeover!” Mali-Koa laughed and followed Delaware into the bathroom she shares with Luke and Ashton. Ben and Jack have bedrooms in the basement, creating their own space for their college-manliness instead of video games, stuffed penguins, and Cheetos. They both closed the bathroom door and locked it. Delaware glowed after hearing Liz tell them to have fun instead of letting Mali-Koa know that Delaware technically isn’t her daughter. Mali-Koa found it precious. “How short do you want your hair?”
Delaware stripped off her polo shirt so she’d be in only her undershirt and skirt, and not get little particles of hair and hair dye on the expensive fabric. She threw the polo into a laundry basket full of men’s pajama pants and the shorts she’d changed out of that morning. Her fingers grabbed the ends of her dead hair, sliding her thumb over all the split ends and rotten strands. “You think I’d look cute with it to my shoulders? And like, bangs too?”
Mali-Koa envisioned Delaware with bangs and short hair. She has a small forehead, meaning that her bangs would be very short and look a little bit odd. With short hair, though, her face would look slimmer and angular, and you’d be able to see the skin tearing itself on her collarbones a lot more. She wouldn’t be able to hide the birthmarks behind her ear and along the top of her spine and the tattoo she pretended to never get right above her left breast. “I think you’d look great, but the bangs … not so much.”
“Then just cut it, man, cut as much as you think needs to be cut.”
Mali-Koa sectioned Delaware’s hair into two sections with hair ties showing where to place the scissors. Delaware closed her eyes and listened for the sound of hair shattering in half, and when she heard it, she felt like a million pounds had been lifted off of her shoulders. Her eyes opened wide when Mali-Koa told her to open, and she was surprised by her looks.
After being a young child, she wasn’t allowed to cut off her hair. Whenever her biological mother or biological father had met her foster family, they’d told them to have her hair grow as long as they could manage, because otherwise, she’d look ugly. They all went along with her parents’ requests and ignored Delaware’s pleads for short hair that she wouldn’t spend countless hours taking care of. They all just wanted to please her family, instead of pleasing her.
“Do you like it?” Mali-Koa asked Delaware after feathering out some layers of her hair and brushing the little pieces of hair off her shoulders. Delaware’s eyes were as wide as green saucers as she nodded her head. She couldn’t speak out of amazement that she went along with cutting her hair off and that she liked it. “Ready to dye it?”
They dyed her hair black, shoved a sewing needle through her septum in an attempt to open the piercing she’d had previously -and it worked but with a lot of blood, did charcoal face masks together, put a lipstick on Delaware’s lips, lined her eyes with eyeliner, and Mali-Koa had Delaware take out her contacts and put her round-framed glasses on instead. Delaware couldn’t recognize herself, couldn’t remember who she was besides a blonde girl with no taste in boys. Mali-Koa watched Delaware stare at herself in the bathroom mirror, watching in amazement and humming along with Jaymes Young. Delaware smiled, and so did Mali-Koa.
-
Luke pounds his fist on Delaware’s white wooden door, trying to capture her attention. “Della!” Luke yells out, still pounding the side of his hand against the wood. “I heard that you have Cal’s sister! We need her!” From behind the door, Delaware and Mali-Koa giggle at Luke’s yelling and a video they’re both watching on Mali-Koa’s phone. One thing that Delaware still doesn’t have- a phone. But she doesn’t mind. It just means that she doesn’t have to deal with people’s drama and manipulation of text messages. “Della!” Luke drags out.
Delaware decides to finally open the door up, running a hand through her hair. “What?” She demands, opening the door wide for Luke to see her and her new friend. She adjusts the uncomfortable septum ring in her nose just a little bit. Surprisingly, Liz didn’t mind Delaware repiercing through her septum, breaking the scar tissue open from a few years ago. Luke has a lip piercing, and Jack and Ben got their ears pierced on a bet together not long before Delaware arrived, so she’d given up on the no piercings rule.
Luke lets out a high pitched scream. “What did you do with my sister, holy shit!” From downstairs, they could hear Liz stammering about Luke’s language. Luke stares at Delaware with wide eyes, not realizing he’s even staring. “What did you do to her, Hood?”
“What do you want, Hemmings?” Mali-Koa sits up from Delaware’s bed and makes her way to the boy in the doorway, holding a comb and a pair of kitchen scissors in one hand near his face. She grabs both of them out of his hand but has to pry his fingers away.
“Michael wants his hair cut, and I fucked it up so I was … ” Luk’s distracted by Delaware moving around the ring in her nose. She stares back at him angrily. “You look so weird. Like … what the fuck? What the hell did you do with my sister?”
“I gave her a makeover,” Mali-Koa shoves Luke away from staring at Delaware, pushing him fully into the hallway. She shoves past him and towards his bedroom. “I swear if you messed up Michael’s hair, then you’re paying. And if you touched Calum’s-”
“-Ugh, I didn’t touch Calums! Just fix Michaels, please!” Luke looks back at Delaware just standing in the doorway, watching Mali-Koa walk down the hallway and shoving herself into Luke’s room. “Aren’t you coming?” Luke asks. Delaware looks at him in surprise, wondering why he’s calling her his sister, why he’s asking if she’s coming with them to fix Michael’s hair, and why he’s just… being so calm. It dawns on her that he’s being so calm and collected, but still freaking out over his new little sister cutting off her hair, is because he thinks of her as family.
Delaware bites down on her lip. “Of course,” she follows Luke to his bedroom.
The view there is horrendous; clothes were strewn everywhere, Michael’s fringe all over the floor, dishware and cups left on Luke’s desk for whatever reason, and messy cords littering his entire TV set up for a gaming system. Michael, though, was just sitting on a dining room chair, with a towel tied around his neck, a caramel apple in one hand, his phone in the other, and half of his fringe cut in the wrong direction.
“Della, can you go get the hair scissors?” Mali-Koa requests then hand the kitchen sheers to Delaware. Delaware nods her head and leaves the room.
“Holy shit, that’s Delawa- ow!” Michael screams loud enough for Delaware to hear when putting the kitchen shears into the sink. She giggles a little bit at whatever must’ve struck Michael and feels a sense of belongingness at their protection of her. “Calum Hood I swear to God I will not hesitate!” Delaware slides past Liz at the stovetop, starting a dinner of chicken, and hops up the stairs.
“Remember, he’s ticklish!” Liz calls after her new daughter. Delaware confirms that she heard and runs back into Luke’s room, almost landing inside of Ashton’s just before Lukes, then handing Mali-Koa the proper scissors.
“Now, Micahel, what do we call her?” Mali-Koa threatens, holding Michael’s caramel apple in her nondominant hand. Michae looks back at her scared. One hand, with the caramel apple he’s about to cry over, and the other hand with a sharp pair of scissors, and a face full of determination. He should really answer this question correctly. “Michael? What do we call Luke’s little sister?”
“We call her Della,” Michael mumbles, holding onto his biceps. “Not Delaware because she doesn’t like Delaware. She likes Della.”
“Exactly,” Mali-Koa says as if she’s talking to a small child. She hands Micahel his caramel apple back and he takes a huge bite of the sticky fruit. “Now, what do we not let Luke, Ashton, and Calum do?”
“We don’t let them cut my hair because they’re stupid fuckers that can’t cut a straight fucking line!” Michael flips off the group of boys sitting on Luke’s bed.
“Shut up, you’re not even straight!” Ashton whines, feeling offended at what Michael and Mali-Koa are agreeing on. Nobody knows if Michael if straight, bi, gay, or whatever other sexuality he’s questioned upon himself. The week before he started high school, he’d called Luke crying because he thought he was only attracted to witches. They all put it off to the fact he’d stayed up three days straight watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone over and over again, trying to memorize the entire movie. He doesn’t even remember calling Luke that day.
“Suck my dick, Irwin,” Michael bit into his caramel apple again, basically breaking his jaw. “I want to buy a onesie, but I don’t know if it’ll suit me.”
Mali-Koa halted attempting to section off her younger friends’ hair correctly to give him a soft rasp upside his head. “You’re an idiot.” Mali-Koa started feathering out the long strands to match the shorter ones the boys created and tried to match their cutting style. His fringe would be fine… but he doesn’t have to know that. “Yeah, dude, I’m going to give you a quiff.”
“What? No! I don’t want to be gay like Luke!”
“Oh shut up, Gordon!” Luke whined.
“That brings me back to something,” Michael chews the sticky caramel stuck in his teeth and shoots an uncharming smile towards Delaware. “What’s your middle name? Is it Boston?”
“Boston is in Massachusetts, you fucking idiot!”
“Well, let Delaw- Della answer us. Is your middle name Boston?”
Delaware shook her head, laughing as she did so. “I can promise you that my middle name is not Boston.” Delaware tucked a few strands of hair behind her head, coming out of her shell just a little bit. “I think we should change yours though. I hear Carol is really pretty.”
“Oh hell no!”
“Michael, you are yelling!” Ashton informs Michael, using a hand gesture commanding that he brings his volume down just a bit so they don’t have premature hearing loss. “We could change it to Mary. I used to know a Mary- she played the piano.”
“I don’t play the piano, idiot, I play the guitar,” Michael wiped his mouth quickly to remove the sticky sugar, and just like Luke the night before, he had it on his cheek. “You guys make no sense. You’re all supporting 'we should all be unique together!’ and it turns out that we’re all the same. My middle name is cooler than all your stupid ones, so suck my dick and choke on it.”
“Language!” Liz screams, barely hearing Michael.
“Sorry, Mommy!” Michael screams back. “I am Gordon. And I am so much cooler than all of you!” Mali-Koa had to hold Michael’s head in place when she continued snipping the ends of his hair. “What type of person looks at an almond and thinks, 'Look at those titties’?”
“Does that mean that you look at a cow and you think 'Look at those titties’?” asked Ashton.
“Yes,” Michael answered. “Because you’re the cow.”
Ashton picked a ball of socks from the floor and threw them at Michael. “You look like a fish.”
“You are a fish, bitch,”
“I thought I was a cow?”
“You’re the whole zoo. Thick as hell,”
“Only for you,”
Delaware pointed towards Ashton and Michael, conversing over… God knows what and looked at Luke. Knowing what she was asking, he shook his head. But still, she’s convinced that the two of them are dating somehow.
-
Delaware ripped open her door. “Benjamin Hemmings if you don’t give me my bra back I swear to God!” She ran after Ben, supporting hot pink A cups over his One Direction shirt- both stolen from Delaware. Her feet hammered against the ground.
“Delaware Williams if you don’t shut up!” Ben mocked, running away from his little sister. She followed him down the hallway, past the kitchen, and into the living room where they’d argue in front of a sleeping Liz and a tired Andrew. “Give me my headphones back!”
Delaware held up Ben’s earbuds with a pair of scissors threatening to end its life. “I won’t hesitate! Take off my bra!”
“Woah!” Andrew called out in an attempt to calm the boiling situation. Both teenagers turned their attention towards the stretching man, scared for a punishment. Andrew just couldn’t comprehend the scene in his living room without busting out laughing fits. His nineteen-year-old son, standing in his daughters’ bra. Lovely. “What the hell is going on? Why are you… ” Andrew pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why are you wearing a bra?”
“Because I want to be beautiful, Dad!” Ben replied with a sassy snap at the end of his sentence.
Andrew sighed. “Give Della her bra back. Della, aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for the Homecoming game?”
Della looks to the side and drops the headphones/scissors mix to the floor. “Maybe.” She touched the curls that Mali-Koa’s pinned to the back of her head. Just half of them are ready, and she still has to wait on the other half. Della wasn’t excited for the homecoming game, though. Yes, she’d been elected for the homecoming queen, but she still wasn’t too thrilled about standing in the rainy wind for half an hour while her heart breaks over losing. “Can’t I just skip it? It’s not like Luke was elected so everybody doesn’t need to go and with nobody there for me-”
“Delaware Williams, we are all going, and so are you. Go finish getting ready before I kick you,”
Delaware retreated to her bedroom, carrying her hot pink bra in her right hand, and continued with Mali-Koa’s hair violations. Curling irons, hair gel, hair spray, hairpins, tiny rubber bands, and the occasional clip-in flower was stuck to Delaware’s scalp and she flinched at the feeling. Mali-Koa braided two sections halfway down Delaware’s hair before tying them off and curling any pieces she could manage. She took as long as she possibly could to make the perfect hairstyle, and after two months of being best friends, Delaware appreciated Mali-Koa being there for her.
“Dude, do I have to cover my tattoo?” Delaware asked, staring at her reflection in only a strapless bra and spandex. She pointed to the baby handprint in a bed of sunflowers right above her left breast that her best friend’s mom tattooed on her underage skin last year. Delaware’s biological mother had a daughter before Delaware, but she hadn’t survived after several complications with their mothers’ pregnancy and died just a few hours after birth. The girl, Adelaide, took her last breath and placed her hand right above her mothers’ breast, where Delaware eventually got a tattoo of her handprint.
“Yeah,” Mali-Koa sighed before pulling a bottle of foundation from her makeup box. “Lay down, it’ll be easier.”
Mali-Koa worked quickly on blending the tattoo away underneath a pile of foundation and powder. Her purple beauty blender pound into Delaware’s skin, hitting a sensitive nerve she didn’t realize existed, causing Delaware to flinch. Mali-Koa laughs and slathered a layer of powder above the drying foundation and relished in the fact it was hidden. However, Delaware looked like a completely different person without solid black lines and yellow shading taking up her skin.
A knock on Delaware’s door interrupted her confusion about how different Delaware looked. “Password?” Delaware asked, sitting up and pulling a shirt in front of her boobs.
“Luke sucks balls,” Michael replied and opened the door. Not the proper password- but it’ll manage. “Your mom says your report card is in and you’re in trouble and holy shit you’re shirtless.”
“Thanks, Einstein,” Delaware replied. She and Michael locked eyes for a few minutes. “Can you leave now? I’ll be downstairs when I get into my dress.”
Mali-Koa ended up pushing the staring boy out of Delaware’s room so she could dress in the apparel. A dress she regretted even buying- luckily, it was cheap. A two-piece dress with a strapless black floral top, and a black flowy skirt that ended mid-thigh, and started above her belly button. She looked gorgeous, obviously, but Michael managed to have a staring problem again when she walked down the stairs. Luke smacked the side of Michael’s head.
Liz had agreed with Delaware that she’d sign the paper for Delaware to become a cheerleader, as long as Delaware had good grades at the end of the grading quarter, unlike Luke and Michael. Delaware gladly agreed, especially after trying out for cheerleading, and worked her small butt off to achieve her short term dream. Every time she went to a foster house, she’d have one request: to be put in dance classes or some sort of physical labor including costumes and smiles. Liz would oblige as long as Delaware continued with school work and chores, bettering herself for a nice future.
Delaware skipped towards Liz and grabbed the document with her name on it to read the grades. They were all exceptional- 100s in every class, and extra credit in most. She’d talked to her teachers about finishing her tenth-grade year in one semester, and starting her eleventh in the next. They drew up worksheets, made after school lesson plans and attached them to a flash drive that she’d learn off of. But, she did it. Finished half of her tenth-grade year in a quarter, and amazed her foster parents beyond extreme. Luke was just barely passing the classes she’d been excelling in, and Ashton was scraping by his twelfth-grade year with D’s and C’s.
“So, does that mean I get to be a basketball cheerleader?” Delaware asked with a hopeful tone, handing Liz the paper again. Liz smiled and continued looking it over. Her grades were amazing, she went to school every day and never skipped class, she’d been a teacher’s pet too. Originally, she’d started her school year with an F in biology and no determination to get it up. Then she learned about cheerleading, made the deal with Liz, and had it up to an A in twenty-four hours. “Please, please, please, Mom!”
Liz shook her head jokingly and looked to Delaware. She was glowing; a beautiful girl with a highlight on her cheekbones and hair pulled back delicately. “Give me the paper and I’ll sign it.”
Delaware squealed, jumped in the air, and wrapped her arms around Liz’s neck. Happiness and excitement were radiating off her bones and blinding everyone in the house. Even Calum, playing video games down the street while he’s supposed to be in football practice could feel her excitement. “Thank you so much! This means everything to me!”
“Just don’t fall behind in your studies, okay?”
“Got it.”
Liz signed on the dotted line, and Delaware almost ruined her makeup with tears.
-
Delaware shivered and waited for the ceremony to start. She began regretting not taking Luke up on the offer of his letterman jacket but cuddled into her best friend Calum’s side instead. He’s a football player, in their ugly gold and black uniforms, and his large letterman jacket. He wrapped her inside of the fabric and shivered with her. A long speech from the announcing lady made them both groan in unison while she continued blabbering on and on until every homecoming candidate was frozen.
Finally, she told everyone she’d begin announcing. Mali-Koa was nominated for the senior homecoming queen alongside a boy Delaware didn’t know. The boys’ little sister, Florine Knapp, was nominated alongside Michael for the junior king and queen. Calum and Delaware were for the sophomores, and freshmen candidates failed to show up. Less competition, honestly.
The homecoming floats were ugly and faulty. The football field was soaked through and would create a muddy Calum Hood. Everybody outside was freezing underneath mountains of blankets. It just wasn’t turning into a good last football game for their town. Delaware was completely unimpressed but still walked to the track when her name was called.
“Delaware Williams, foster child to Liz and Andrew Hemmings, foster sister to Luke, Ben, and Jack Hemmings, future basketball cheerleader, and scholar,” The lady stated, causing Delaware to bite her tongue. In their house, you don’t throw around the word 'foster’. It’s all or nothing, even when it comes to talking about genetics. Delaware feels like if she could, she’d turn into a Hemmings instead of a Williams, just to feel apart of a family that loved her. That obviously loved her. Another thing, you don’t leave out Ashton. Ashton is just as much of a Hemmings as the boys, and Delaware. “She’s accompanied by Calum Hood,” and the list went on. “And our homecoming queen and king are,” a drumroll from the marching band started. “Delaware Williams and Michael Clifford,”
How the hell did I manage that? Delaware wanted to scream out.
She stepped forward, closer to Michael Clifford in a tacky suit and harder hair than normal, and took his hand in her own. Thick rings dug into the skin between her fingers, and the ring with Delaware’s birthstone sat a little crooked on her middle finger and dug into his. It was a mutual thing; ruining each other’s fingers with rings. Delaware smiled and stepped closer to him so they’d stand together and receive their crowns. Delaware smiled, waited for Liz and Andrew to snap photos, then kissed Michael on the cheek.
Yeah, she could get over being called Delaware all the time, but now it's just an attempt at embarrassing him in front of the bleachers full of school supporters. Michael blushed and tried to hide his face behind his other hand, but Delaware grabbed it away from him. Michael giggled, and walked her off the field, to their positions as King and Queen of the New Broken Scene.
-
“Give me my burrito!” Delaware squealed, grabbing the tinfoil out of Michael’s hands, having to climb a little bit to grab it from above his head. Michael laughed, pulling it further away from the beautiful girl across the booth, but ended up throwing it onto her plate. “You’re a whore, you know that right?”
“Hoe,” Michael corrected. “I’m a hoe for any and everybody. Sleeping with sirens and piercing veils, babygirl,”
“Just kidding. You’re stupid,” After ditching their homecoming dance, they walked in the rain to an indoor mini-golf arena, playing a few games before skipping to the local Mexican restaurant for delicious food. Liz laughed when Delaware told her she wouldn’t be at the homecoming dance, and to tell Jack to not wait to pick her up. They all guessed she’d find ways around the dark gymnasium with sweaty kids and two smoke machines; she’s just not that type of person.
Michael opened his straw partly and shot the plastic-wrapped at Delaware’s nose, causing her to flinch just a little bit. She balled it up quickly and threw it back at him. “Hey!” Delaware yipped when a plastic fork hit her in the boob. “I swear I’ll get Ben to beat you up.” She slipped off Jack’s letterman jacket as to not cover it in food.
After complaining of being cold, Mali-Koa stole Calum’s jacket from him, leaving Delaware without anything to cover her reddening arms. Her limbs were beginning to go numb. Jack ran home quickly, dug around in the basement, and pulled his old letterman jacket from a box he’d forgotten about. He handed it to Delaware and told her to use it as long as she’d like- even if it meant forever. Hemmings it across the back of the golden fabric, with letters for several different sports and manager pins. She was amazed at how it fit her just a little too big but still looked nice on her. She sat atop Michael’s shoulders, watched the game underneath a large jacket, and took photos with all of the boys as much as possible. It was a night she’d remember forever.
“What’s your tattoo of?” Michael asked, pointing to the black lines starting to peek through the foundation. He took a huge bite of his soft taco.
“It’s my sisters’ handprint when she was born,” Delaware dismissed before digging into her food as well. It tasted like the perfect burrito; meat, rice, beans, queso, avocado, and whatever the hell else was added. She was in love with a two-dollar burrito that was made in minutes. Nobody could ever top that burrito.
“Was she in foster care like you?”
Delaware went silent. She didn’t have an answer. How do you tell someone that your sister is dead? How would you answer that question if she was alive- yes, she is in foster care like I am but we were split up because the system is bullshit. Or- no, she isn’t because our parents actually wanted her or she was adopted quickly because she’s perfect. Even though she’s quite open about foster care, it can still be a somewhat touchy subject for her.
“Della?”
“No,” Delaware answered quickly. She didn’t want to reply, she didn’t want to think, she just wanted to relish at the moment she was given. Tacos in a hole-in-the-wall restaurant with a boy that was nominated homecoming king, while she was the queen. She was nominated for homecoming queen after years of being bullied, and she had a huge crowd cheering her on, taking photos of her making cute faces next to her brothers, and two adults claiming her as their child. She had a family that loves her, one that bought her a phone and helped her sign up for cheerleading. One that doesn’t want to give her up when the time comes. “So your middle name is Gordon, right?”
“Yeah. What’s yours? Boston?”
“I’ve told you several times! It’s not Boston!”
“Then you have to tell me it,” Michael says before taking a long gulp of soda. “It’s the law.”
Delaware chews her burrito and swallows before answers. “You have to guess the letter it starts with.”
“It’s either M or N,” replies Michael. Delaware is stunned- he’s right.
“How do you know that?”
“Because, D is four letters from the beginning of the alphabet, and W is four letters from the end. M and N are equal distances between the two.”
“How the fuck do you know that?”
“Because,” Michael says. “I got bored in chemistry today. Basic knowledge, you know.” Delaware stared at him in amazement. “So am I right?”
“You’re spot on,” Delaware’s mouth hung open. How had she never put two and two together? Also, her biological parents are idiots. “It’s May-Nova.”
“Delaware May-Nova Williams?” Michael asked. He didn’t wait for a reply. “Your parents must have really hate you.”
Delaware continued staring, not knowing how to answer. Yes, they did. That’s why I’m in foster care. Or, no, they didn’t. They’re just idiots.
They ate their food, conversing over Delaware’s odd name, Michael’s stupid middle name, and the fact that Mexican food will forever be Delaware’s first and only love. At the end of their meal, Delaware got Jack on the phone for a ride home in the rain, rather than walking. He obliged and drove to them quickly instead of partying as he’d planned. Delaware jumped into the shower the moment she walked through the door, pulling pins from her hair and forcing Luke to unzip her dress.
“Mali-Koa Hood, get your ass up here now!” Delaware screamed out, entering her room in only a towel, and ready to watch sappy movies and talk with her best friend. “Mali!”
“She’s at the dance!” Michael yelled back.
“Language, Della!” Liz screamed, wishing to break the habit of her children cussing constantly. She’ll do it, you know. She’ll end the cussing eventually.
“Then somebody get up here and watch movies with me!” She locked her door, though, before a stampede of teenage boys killed her while she’s naked. She slipped into Nike shorts and a random shirt she didn’t realize she owned before opening her bedroom to her male friends waiting for her casually. “Is there something you’d like?”
“You said Disney movies,” Calum mentions, motioning to her TV sitting on the black desk. It’s small, but it suffices.
“I did not say Disney movies,”
“More importantly you said Lilo and Stitch,” Michael states, eyeing her hand-me-down XBOX. Luke gave it to her because he’d gotten a new one for his birthday before she’d arrived, and now she can play video games with Calum, Micahel, Ashton, and Luke without having to sit in somebody else’s room.
“I did not say Lilo and Stitch,”
“And you also said popsicles,” Ashton laughs.
“I didn’t say popsicles but if you brought me a red popsicle-” Ashton hands over a red popsicle he knows she loves. He’s studied that she’s the only one eating them, devouring them in moments of the first taste. All of the others aren’t too fond of them, but she’s a cherry fiend. “-I love you forever.”
“So Lilo and Stitch?” Michael asks.
“Yeah, no,”
“What about The Emperor's New Groove?”
“No,”
“On The Road To El Dorado?”
“You have to have the password.”
“It’s Luke sucks balls,”
“You’re absolutely correct. Grab a blanket, homies,”
Calum, Ashton, Michael, Luke, and Delaware all fit on her twin bed, laying on top of one another, but paying attention to the TV with such intent they forgot that they had a pizza in the oven. Michael cried when Liz informed them that the pizza was burnt- he didn’t know it was in the oven, but a burnt pizza broke his heart. Delaware fell asleep on the makeshift bed Michael and Calum had created out of their bodies to make her comfortable. It was just a good night for her.
-
For their first basketball game, Michael and Delaware agreed upon wearing matching spirit clothes, supporting their schools’ black-out game. They obviously had to wear the given black polo required, but they paid five bucks to wear jeans that Tuesday. On days of games with themed student sections, you’re allowed to pay for different trousers, as long as they’re appropriate. Michael and Delaware stayed up late, listening to GreenDay on the sound system Delaware was borrowing from Luke, and created patterns on ripped skinny jeans with neon paint. The class with the most supporters in the student section wins frozen yogurt during lunch the next day.
Liz took pictures of Delaware and her friends, almost causing the brunette to be late to school. The typical photo of Delaware sitting on Luke’s shoulders, leaning against Michael’s front with their arms woven together, and the weird poses Calum and Ashton thought up on the spot. Michael and Delaware also colored their friends’ skinny jeans and paid off their debt to the administration. Delaware would have tons of photos to reflect on whenever she leaves the Hemmings house, and it breaks her heart to think that eventually, she’ll have to leave the best friends that she'll ever have.
Michael and Delaware kicked their legs up onto their uncomfortable desks to show off the jeans. Delaware stared back at Ashton, Calum, and Luke sitting a row behind the pair. Luke sighed and copied them before Calum and Ashton replicated them too.
“Thank you,” Delaware shook her head. “Rude, am I right?”
“Downright disrespectful,” Michael answered.
In her small cheer uniform, Delaware waved at the crowd gathered for the basketball game, more specifically her family. Liz and Andrew snapped even more photos of her. She’s a flyer, meaning that she’s thrown into the air a lot, and had to ask Liz to pull her hair back into double dutch braids. Though, Michael kept drooling during the basketball game and couldn’t focus on the fact he’s supposed to be dribbling a ball, not staring at the cheerleaders.
“Clifford,” His coach called, pulling him from the game and sitting his butt on the bench.
Michael didn’t mind- even more of a chance to stare at Delaware. Her cheer uniform was long-sleeved, covered her from her knees to her neck, disregarding her hands, and had gold lining along the hem. She was exactly like every other cheerleader; uniform, hair, and small golden bows tied with ribbon. But Michael knew exactly which one she was, even in a group huddle of screams and chants. He knew that she was Delaware Williams instead of some prissy cheerleader that wouldn’t talk to him. He just knew.
At the end of the game, Delaware pulled Jack’s letterman jacket on her shoulders and posed with cheerleaders wearing the same outfit she was. The only difference between all of them as she had a lot more letters than they did and the last name on the back wasn’t correct. That didn’t discourage anyone from turning every cheerleader around and taking photos of their last names. Their school takes photos like that as a promotion to families and showing off a kids’ heritage.
That means that Luke, Ben, Jack, and Ashton have photos with their last names shown off in photos. Hemmings- every single one was a Hemmings. And now, Liz had her daughter with the Hemmings name glowing in the center of the photo. She couldn’t help but immediately create a photo collage of them all together. Ashton had been a football player and a wrestler for a couple of years. Luke, Ben, and Jack were all football players with the occasional basketball season and a few track and field meets. She chose the photos of them all during tenth grade; Delaware at her first basketball game as a cheerleader, Ashton during wrestling season right after breaking his arm, Luke just a few weeks before at a football game, Jack just finishing a 3200-meter dash, and Ben when he’d gotten a concussion during a football game and kept playing with tears running down his cheeks. She smiled and showed Andrew who adored what she’d done with the photos.
“I deserve ice cream!” Delaware screamed with a fist in the air and her other hand on top of Calum’s head. It was normal for her to be sitting on their shoulders, rather than walking. Liz and Andrew occasionally worried that she would fall and break something, though. “I deserve some good oreo ice cream with white chocolate chips on top and cookie dough pieces on the inside!”
“Dude you literally ate an entire package of Oreos earlier,” Michael replied, cuddling further into his own jacket. “And like four cupcakes, and we even got hamburgers for lunch. Are you trying to die?”
“Mali-Koa and I are having a competition to see who can reach 100 pounds first,” Delaware answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It never dawned on the boys that the reason Delaware was so light, was because she’d been underweight. “I’m at eighty-eighty pounds and I’m determined to beat her!”
“Jesus Christ, you’re tiny!” Calum laughed. He unlocked the side of his car with keys in one hand, and helped Delaware off of his shoulders by practically tossing her in the air and catching her with a key in her side. “So, ice cream?”
“Please!” Delaware whined. She looked around at Liz and Andrew, searching for an answer she already knew. “Mom? Please?” Liz wanted to say no, she wanted to tell Delaware that eating too much is unhealthy, even if you’re attempting to gain weight. Delaware has a small form of lactose intolerance so a mass amount of ice cream will mess with her body, and Liz knows this. Still, she stares into Delaware’s forest-green eyes and nods her head sadly. “Yay! Where can we go? What’s good around here?”
“There’s an ice cream shop just down the road,” Michael said, pointing in the direction of a corner store he’s always wanted to try. They advertise cherry ice cream with chocolate chunks, cookie dough without salmonella, and sticky caramel apples dipped in peanuts. “My mom says they’re pretty good.”
“Wow, you have a mom?” Delaware asked, referencing the fact that Michael seems to be at the Hemmings house all the time, and never goes home. She swears he’s there when she wakes up, goes to sleep, and tries to shower at 3 AM. “What do you say? Ice cream shop? That’s what I thought.” Delaware climbs into Calum’s car without an answer, sitting in the passenger’s seat and hooking her phone up to the aux. “Come on guys! They’ll close before we get there.”
Practically everyone is wrapped around Delaware’s finger.
-
Michael knocked on Delaware’s bedroom door. She stood up from her bed, the room illuminated by fairy lights Mali-Koa and her had hung around the creases of the ceiling. Michael opened the door when she took forever to answer it and stared at her.
Delaware had asked Michael to come over- said that it was too dire of a situation for just Calum and way too much for any of her brothers. She needed Michael, the boy that seemingly understood her. But before he could ask her what’s wrong, she crashed into his chest, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. She had given up to just listening to her hammering heart exploding in her chest, bursting her eardrums with every pop. Delaware was embarrassed- hurting, even when Michael shushed her sobs in his chest and shoved her further into her room, closing the door behind her.
“Della- shh, Della what’s wrong?” Michael asked, pulling Delaware into his lap. Normally her bed is made, pristine sheets folded at the corners and an extra blanket sat at the end of her bed with a fleece interior. Liz had made it. Now, underneath him, the sheets were messy and unruly, not even tucked between the bed and the wall, as if somebody had a fit and tried to rip the seams apart. “Delaware, you have to tell me what’s wrong.”
She sobbed, let the tears roll down her cheeks and land on Michael’s black shirt. Michael didn’t care that he could feel tears pressing into his skin, or Delaware’s messy braids rubbing the underneath of his chin, or a few hiccups that erupted from her throat. Delaware tried to stay strong, to suppress the tears before they released and whisper that everything was okay. She just couldn’t. “They’re sending me back.”
“What?” Michael asked abruptly. He let go of her side to wipe his face before he started crying. There’s no way he heard that correctly- absolutely no way that she’s going back into the foster care system, away from the Hemmings family, away from him! That’s not allowed. He won’t stand for it and will go out with a fight. “Delaware?”
“I got a letter in the mail today,” Delaware hiccuped before digging her face into Michael’s chest. It hurt, so he pulled her away so she could see him. Maybe he’d be able to read her face to know that it’s a lie. Haha, he’d answer before shaking his head jokingly, of course, they are. But he couldn’t. Delaware wasn’t lying, and she certainly wasn’t going to pull a prank like this. “It says my permanent residency will be enforced the day after Christmas, and I’ll have to live with my legal guardians. Which means, I’m going back home. To my biological parents. Where I’ll die!”
Michael laid back so Delaware would have something softer to lay on besides him. But she still laid on top of his chest, wrapping her legs in his. He remembers when he made friends with different foster kids the Hemmings had. Styles- the boy with curly hair that taught Michael how to kiss a girl. Or every time Ashton’s been sent back to his mom, only to end up with Liz and Andrew once again. There’ve been more kids that broke Michael’s heart, when their parents’ decided to shape up and want them, or the ones that were too much of a hassle for their school and ended up expelled, meaning that Liz and Andrew wouldn’t be able to send them anywhere else.
Michael reached for the blanket and pulled it over both of them. Delaware began to calm down a little bit. “It’s going to be okay. Things like this can change and-”
“They don’t change, Michael! Once you’re sent back, you’re sent back until they fuck up again. My mom values being able to say she straightened up and got me too much to fuck up before I get there!” Delaware spat. Michael ran his hands through the ends of her hair and grabbed the thick hair ties to release all of her hair. She didn’t argue when he pulled the rubber bands out and combed his fingers through her soft locks. “I don’t want to go back.”
“I don’t want you to go back either, Delaware,”
Delaware was so upset, she didn’t correct him about calling her Della. She just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear for good. “I finally got a family, and now … they’re just sending me back.”
“Hey, Della,” Michael said, trying to make her a bit perkier. “How about we just … have the time of our lives before you go? Like do a bunch of fun stuff or something or just … try to make it okay before you go?”
Delaware shrugged.
“What about right now we just go to sleep?”
Delaware nodded.
“Want me to play some music or the TV? I can go get a blanket and lay down on the floor and-”
“-No,” Delaware cut off. “Lay right here and sleep. Please, Mikey?”
Michael rubbed his hand along her back. She shivered a little bit. “Of course.”
Delaware closed her eyes and began to drift into unconsciousness, right on top of Michael. He ran his hand through her hair, let his other one lay right underneath her dark grey shirt, and just stared at the ceiling for a little while, pondering life. His heart was breaking, shattering into small pieces that nicked his insides. Everything just hurt and he cried silently, as to not disturb the girl sleeping on him. Her hand moved up his side, and he caught a glimpse of her left arm covered in sharpie tattoos.
While she slept, she was beautiful. Not just a beautiful teenage girl but the goddess she deserves to be, and the pain on her face seemed to disappear when she settled further into sleep. Michael’s heart healed itself, broke again, and kept on the routine until he finally fell asleep. His eyes closed, lingering on the thought of being in love with Delaware.
Something he’s never thought of before.
-
“You okay?” Ben asked Delaware. She nodded her head and stared at the drawing she’s creating on Jack’s bareback. “Are you sure? You seem really off.”
“I’m fine,” She dismissed and pressed the cool tip of her favorite black sharpie into his skin to further her design. She was running off envisionment before copying it onto his skin. So far, she’d created a snake uncoiling with a blank belly, but the back of daisies and sunflowers. Around the mouth of the snake, she outlined a sun that connected to its closed jaws. She didn’t know what she’d do with the rest of the sun, but she was going with whatever she felt.
Jack didn’t mind- it was like a miniature back massage as he played COD. “He’s right, sis,” Jack whispered before killing Luke’s character. They heard a scream resonating in Luke’s bedroom. “You’re off lately. Are you doing okay?”
“I’m fine,” Delaware outlined the snake and sun with a light hand and began to make mandala designs outside of the lopsided oval. “Just a little stressed.” Half circled went along the oval as small flower pedals. Should she put even smaller half-circles inside of them or stack them on top of one another to make fish scales? She decided on the fish scales route.
“How’s your boyfriend?” Luke respawned, and Jack killed him immediately.
“I don’t have a boyfriend,”
“What do you call sleeping next to Michael Clifford then?”
“Nothing. I’ve slept next to Calum before, and Luke, and Ashton, and you guys.”
“No, Della, you like him,” Ben answered for Jack. “We aren’t stupid. How do you think Luke and Ashtone ever got girlfriends? Certainly not with their good looks!”
“You and Luke look exactly alike,”
“Shut up your opinion is irrelevant,” Ben rolled his eyes. “All I’m saying is, ask him out.”
“I don’t have a crush on him,” She switched from scales to large spirals that took up a lot of space and had a thick tail. Around the first spiral she made, she created daisy petals all around the object, then a circle to cut the pedals off from everything else. That was the design she liked. “He’s just a friend.”
“Bullshit.”
Delaware elected not to inform anyone besides Liz and Andrew about the letter she had gotten. They said they were going to try and put an appeal in for Delaware to stay with them, and to prove that her biological parents aren’t fit to take care of her. Liz held Delaware the morning after she got the letter and promised they’d get it sorted out. But they both knew that it was almost impossible. Liz told her to wait until Christmas to pack up, just to make sure she had room for every she’d gotten for the joyous holiday. Delaware persisted that she didn’t want anything; she didn’t want anybody to spend money on her, to buy gifts, or include her on their normal holiday traditions. Liz told her that her argument was stupid, and she’d always be family.
“Ask him out, Della, or I will,”
“Didn’t know you swung that way, Jack,”
“Oh shut up, you know what I meant!”
Delaware laughed. It was a relaxed Saturday morning for them. Though, in her head, she kept remembering that she had only three weeks before being sent back to a home she never wanted.
After that morning, Jack stopped allowing Delaware to draw on his back. She could draw anywhere else, just not on his back. Luke woke up one morning to Delaware running on coffee and snacks, trying to finish the sleeve she’d been creating for Jack. It ranged from the sleeve of his tank top, down to his fingers, and included several flowers, a lions mane, the outline of bones in his hand, a sword he’d found a picture of online, a blackbird, five pairs of small feet walking towards his hand, five skull rocker hands, a copy of his favorite cartoon character, and the planets swirling down his forearm.
“If you take a shower within the next twenty-four hours, I’ll kill you,” Delaware told Jack before passing out in her bed, next to Michael, who had been asleep for several hours already. Seemingly, after they had less than three weeks, Michael stayed over just about every night to comfort Delaware. She couldn’t sleep without him anymore. Her best friend jumped from Calum to Michael.
-
Michael threw a pair of black Converse at Delaware. “Get up you’re learning how to skateboard.” Delaware didn’t react. “Delaware May-Nova!”
“Fuck you!” Delaware screamed and pulled the blankets above her head. “It’s like two AM.”
“You didn’t even go to sleep until two AM,” Michael snapped back and tossed a pen in her direction. They stayed up late, FaceTiming since Michael was on a family vacation for a weekend. Delaware knew he’d be home early in the morning, but she didn’t think she’d be attacked by high tops. “It’s seven. Wake up!”
“No!”
“I’ll make you coffee!”
“I hate coffee!”
“I’ll get you cotton candy ice cream out of the freezer!”
“Will you put gummy bears on top?”
“Of course,”
“Okay,” Delaware threw the blanket off her body, thinking that Michael was out of the room. He was hit with a sight of a girl in her underwear and his hoodie and swooned over the view. “Get out.” Delaware hopped to her closet to pick out an outfit. Liz took her shopping several times, allowing her to choose all the clothes she wanted, regardless of the price. If they fit and be used a lot, she could get them.
“But my hoodie,” Michael protested, not wanting to let go of the vision of Delaware engulfed in fabric reeking of his cologne. Delaware pulled it off in a swift motion and threw it at Michael’s face. He didn’t get to see what was underneath before forcing himself out of the room. “Hurry up!”
“Get my ice cream,” Delaware replied before pulling tight black skinny jeans onto her legs and up her thighs. With Delaware and Mali-Koa’s weight gaining competition, she was starting to learn that she couldn’t fit into kids’ jeans anymore. Not that she actually cared; it would be easier to buy adult skinny jeans with rips in the knees and the lack of jewels on her butt. That’s if she ever gets to go shopping again- her biological mother isn’t a good provider and forced Delaware to wear clothes from her childhood, starving the growing girl to make sure they’d fit.
“Ice cream isn’t a good breakfast!”
“Then we aren’t skateboarding,” Delaware searched for a warm shirt, or even a large hoodie that would look good on her while she skated to her death, but nothing went. She walked to her door, opened it up and gave Michael a full view of her black sports bra. “There’s nothing to see. Give me your hoodie.”
“No!” Michael hugged his hoodie close to his body. “Mine. Get your own.”
“Fine. Luke!” Delaware screamed. Luke and Ashton had been getting ready too, after being pelted with Vans and Converse until they sat up, with direct instructions to teach their little sister how to stand on a skateboard. They tried to teach her once when she first arrived, but she ran straight into a curb and ripped a perfectly good pair of jeans. “Bring me a hoodie!”
“Get your own, Della!” Luke yelled back.
“See,” said Delaware. “Now you have to give me your hoodie or I’m going to go around shirtless and catch a cold and-” Michael cut her off by shoving his hoodie into her small belly. She smiled and slipped it back on. Michael was blinded by the sight, admiring Delaware when she sprayed perfume all over herself. “Stop staring. It’s creepy.”
“You’re creepy,” replied Michael. “Pull your hair back or something.”
Delaware raked a brush through her curly hair. “Just because you said that I won’t,” They met Luke and Ashton in the hallway and skipped down the stairs together. “Michael? My ice cream?” Michael groaned and cut into the kitchen to rip open the freezer. He pulled the carton out while the other two boys made themselves something logical for a good day of skateboarding. Michael scooped some ice cream into a bowl, added a few gummy bears on top, and presented the decorated bowl to Delaware that kissed his cheek.
“See, told ya’ Della,” someone said. Delaware jumped around to Jack, shirtless, and standing next to Luke. His back was to her, and she could suddenly see why he could no longer be her canvas; he’s gotten the snake she drew tattooed on his spine, coiling up more professionally than she drew, with the same blank belly and flower-clad back. Above the snake were five symbols; a football, a beaker, a drumset, a guitar, and a daisy. Delaware poked Jack’s spine, right where the snake was tattooed. “Fuck! You weren’t supposed to see that.”
“So. Got something to tell me, Jack Hemmings?”
Jack scrunched his face up. “Oh shut up, it’s a cool design.” Jack poked Delaware’s nose with the tip of his pinky. “Eat your ice cream and make out with Micahel Clifford before I punt you.”
Delaware enjoyed her breakfast from the countertop and argued with her brothers over who’s turn it was to fold laundry. Everybody including Michael claimed it’s Luke’s turn, but Luke protested that it’s obviously Delaware’s turn because she’s wearing Michael’s hoodie. Michael threw a frozen waffle at Luke and informed him that he needs to get clothes folded because Michael will start running out of clothes if he doesn’t.
“Then stop giving her clothes, dude,” Luke answered and shoveled a heaping spoonful of cheerios into his mouth. Michael laughed, told him that when a girl steals your clothes then you don’t ask for them back. “Then quit being in love with Della. It’s easy, dude.”
“I’m not in love with Delaware,”
“Well, she’s in love with you,”
“I am not in love with Michael!” Delaware squealed. She finished off the last of her sugary breakfast and hopped down from the counter to rinse her bowl.
“The fact he can call you Delaware, the fact that he bribed you with ice cream, dude,”
“You’re stupid,” informed Delaware. “And anybody can bribe me with cotton candy ice cream, gummy bears, and red popsicles. Now, let’s skate!”
“Yeah, no,” Ashton said. “Let me eat in peace, then I’ll deal with your high energy. Did you drink like seven five-hour energy?”
“No, eight, actually,” Delaware clapped her hands. “I just have naturally high energy.”
“Yeah,” Liz said before stepping into the crowded kitchen. “And if you don’t take your meds, then you’ll be bouncing off the walls. Delaware May-Nova, take your medicine, now!”
“Your middle name is May-Nova?” Luke asked before taking another bite. Delaware turned around to the medicine cabinet to grab down the two orange pill bottles with her name on the front and grabbed the capsules she’s required to ingest. She held both pills in hand and filled a cup of water. Delaware downed the whole cup. “That’s weirder than Delaware.”
“Your middle name is Robert,” said Michael.
“Yeah, and yours is Gordon,”
“Touche,”
“I happen to think Gordon and May-Nova are nice names, Luke,” said Liz. Michael looked up at his mom with wide eyes, scared that she’ll have some snarky remarks for him. “Now if they’d just start dating, I won’t have to hear about ‘oh my gosh you’ll never believe this!’ from Michael all the freaking time.”
“Exposed,” Ashton drags out.
“Ashton, take your medicine too or I’ll kick you,”
Ashton sighs and replicated Delaware’s movements. “I swear, Delaware and I are so threatened around this place. It’s like we’re never free.”
“You’re freer than I am!” Luke whines.
Liz rolls her eyes. “That’s because you got caught sneaking out, so I locked your window. Della, Ashton, if I find out you guys are doing that, I’ll do the same thing to you.”
“Don’t worry, mother,” Delaware said. “Not the party type. Never will be.”
-
Michael taught her how to skate, how to play the guitar, how to dribble a basketball and lose to him. Michael taught Delaware as many things as he thought he could in the two-week period until her departure back to hell and away from the people that loved her. He just didn’t teach her how to live without him.
Delaware became dependent upon the blond, needing to talk to him somehow before she went to sleep, sneaking out to go on 3 AM dinner dashes to McDonald’s or somewhere cheap, stealing his clothes just have a nice scent before she falls asleep. Delaware was in love with Michael- hardcore in love with him to the point she didn’t realize it.
The fateful day was coming closer, but on Christmas Eve, Michael planned an entire night out for Delaware and him, getting special approval from Liz and Andrew to keep Delaware out later than her curfew for the night of her life. Liz agreed, as long as he’d keep her safe, have her home before dawn, and would call her while bringing Delaware home. Liz was afraid that something would happen to Delaware; that she’d get hurt, or she’d be kidnapped, killed, tortured, but Liz knew that Delaware had been stressing for a long time and needed a night out. After dinner, Delaware and Michael played video games until everyone was on the verge of sleep, then Michael drug Delaware out of the house to skate to the nearby park.
“Is this seriously it, Clifford?” Delaware asked, hoping off her board before hitting the curb. Black converse hit the ground, shattered the paint on the bottom of the shoe, but still braced her feet. “A park? How lame.”
“Would you shut up?” Michael asked, grabbed Delaware’s free hand to jog behind him. They ran to a dark spot in the park, and Michael left her alone for a few seconds. She was scared but thought being killed would be better than going back to her biological parents. Honestly, going home is the worst Christmas present the foster care system could have given her. “Ready?”
“Yeah,” Delaware groaned. Christmas Eve is cold, with a large chill in the air and a long burst of wind. But Michael plugged something in, and white Christmas light illuminated the spot around them. He’d set up a blanket, with ice cream and gummy bears inside a picnic basket, and some stray paints Delaware knew disappeared, and a large canvas. “What’s this?”
“Thought we could have fun tonight,” Michael shrugged, stuffing his hands inside his pockets. “We can go home if you w-”
“-No,” Delaware dismissed and settled herself on the blanket. It's the one she’s never seen before; one that smells of Michael, with red flannel patterns, and IDIOT printed on the back like a marker drew it. “Let’s paint.” She picked one of the three bottles of paint from the ground and shook it a little bit. Even with the lights, she could just barely tell it’s an iridescent blue. “Did you grab any paint brushes from my bedroom?”
Michael looked down. “Shit.”
Delaware laughed. “It’s fine. We have fingers for a reason,”
“I could make a dirty joke out of that, you know? I could be the wisest-”
“-You’re never the wisest so don’t even finish that.” Delaware squirted some paint onto her pointer finger and dabbed it on Michael’s nose. His eyes crossed to look at the blue dot staining his skin. “Look, Michael the Blue Nosed Idiot.”
“I am not Michael the Blue Nosed Idiot, you’re Delaware-” Michael picked the pink bottle from the ground and popped off the cap. “The Pink Nosed Beauty.”
“That took a turn,” Delaware turned her attention from the dot of pink on her nose to the canvas in front of her. It’s one that’s large and probably cost a pretty penny. She squirted a bunch of paint out onto it in a swirling motion and started to spread it out with her finger as a tye-dye. “So. Do you like bread?”
“Yeah,” Michael replied, joining in on Delaware’s technique. He added a swirl of pink inside of the large blue one, and began spreading it with his fingers. It’s a messed up tye-dye of course, but whoever ended up with the canvas would remember the cracks of Michael the Blue Nosed Idiot. “Do you live too far from here?”
Delaware’s throat began constricting. “Yeah, actually,” She choked out and coughed to cover a suppressed sob. “It’s a few hour drive. It took us two days to get here.”
“Did you stay in a hotel?”
“Uh … yeah.” She didn’t want to answer, she just wanted to paint and cry and scream about how much she loved living in this place. “It was a cheap one. I had to sleep on the floor because there was only one bed. There was a pool, but it closed before we arrived.”
“Did you have a good breakfast there?”
“I didn’t eat breakfast. We were in a rush to get here,” Delaware sniffed, trying to forget how she’ll have to go through all of that again. She wants to stay with Liz! She wants the mother she never got that dried her tears countless times from trauma that flashed through dreams, hiding everything from the other teenagers, and reminded Delaware to take her medicine every morning, bought her appropriate clothes for different seasons, and allowed her to cheer. Liz supported Delaware at every basketball game she’d had so far, taking photos of her like Delaware requested, and tried to understand cheerleading terminology just so they could talk. Liz was the perfect mother, and Delaware wanted to do everything to not leave. Delaware laughed to hide her crying. “The foster care woman told me that I would be here until I graduated. I wouldn’t leave again unless they wanted me out, and not once had Mom and Dad voluntarily kicked a kid out.”
“It’ll be okay,” Michael whispered in a low voice. “We’ll all keep in touch. Calum, me, and your brothers will all come visit. A lot. I’ll move out where you live and we’ll go to school together. My parents’ don’t really miss me much, and I just turned seventeen so I mean-”
“-God, you’re such a weirdo.” Delaware wiped her nose and sniffed again. “Never, and I mean never live where I’m going. It’s a poor neighborhood, and my parents barely work. It’s full of low-lives that have no jobs and scrape by on food stamps. I want better for you, no matter what!”
“Then you have to come back after high school,” Michael told her. “You have to get into college here- or I’ll have you live with me next year! You can come to my birthday party and just not go home. You’ll be sixteen by then, so you don’t have to go home.”
“You’re an idiot, Gordon,”
“And you’re beautiful, Delaware May-Nova.”
“Why do you call me Delaware all the time? Why not like … Della? Everybody else calls me Della, but you always call me Delaware, even after I hit you.”
“I did it to annoy you because you were so cute when you got worked up over your name,” Michael confessed, adding more paint onto the canvas. This time, purple. Delaware took a scoop of purple onto her finger and slide it across Michael’s forehead. “Gross!” Michael laughed. “After a while, I just … I love Delaware so much more than Della. Like- you’re a Delaware, not a Della. As Luke is a Luke and not a Lucas. You understand?”
“Kind of like you’re a Michael Gordon?”
“Like that.”
“But even you said that Delaware is just so peculiar, and not at all normal.” Delaware laughed a little bit. “Who names their kids Delaware and Adelaide? That’s so fucking stupid.”
“It’s not.”
“Yes, it is,” Delaware looked to the sky. The clouds were gathering, but still, she could see the constellations. This would be the last time she’d see them in this park- she expects to be packing everything up tomorrow, and not going outside besides whatever they do as a family. “I was born in Delaware, and my sister was born in Adelaide. I guess my mom needed a reminder of where we were from or something.” Delaware rolls her eyes and shakes her head back to the canvas. “I wish I had a logical name, like Michael or Luke or … anything that’s not Delaware.”
“Like Jayde?”
“Yeah,” Delaware shivered. “That’s what I told mom I wanted to change my name to. Just something simple to blend in with my brothers. Not be a complete maniac and be named Delaware,” Delaware looked around to park. “Can we go elsewhere? It’s really cold.”
“Yeah, I didn’t think that through,” Michael closed the cap of the paint he was using and stood up. “I’ll make Calum clean all of this up. Want to get something to eat?”
“We just ate dinner, Micahel,” Michael hoists Delaware up by her right arm, pulling her into the air before she crashes to her feet. “The competition between Mali-Koa and I is over. I’m not eating that much again.” Delaware won, by the way.
They watched a movie in the cinema downtown, walking there and back to the park. Then, Michael stripped himself of his jacket for Delaware and appreciated how she looked. A goddess; she’s always the goddess in his world and the only one that could win his heart. Three-day-long Harry Potter marathons, Pokemon competitions, and favorable anime aside, Delaware Williams was Michael’s first love, and he’d only admitted it recently.
Michael took pictures with Delaware, afraid he’d forget what she looked like after she left. They smiled, snapped goofy photos with odd faces, then he pointed the camera at her. They weren’t on a blanket anymore, but when he stood above her for a photo of a sprawled-out Delaware in the grass, he got the perfect moment. She put on makeup for him- curled her hair, wore brand new skinny jeans, and a shirt she knew he liked. She even thought to doll herself up with a matching bra and underwear set, though, he wouldn’t see it.
“Delaware,” Michael breathed before tripping over a rock and landing right on top of her. They were close- so close they were breathing the same air at different times and staring. Green eyes hit a reflection of a different hue, waiting for something to happen. Nothing happened. “Dela-” Delaware pulled Michael close and pressed her lips to his. It was tongues and teeth, cherry lip balm mixed with cold air and goosebumps, relishing in the dewy grass and warm jackets. Michael held himself above her, but Delaware grabbed his collar and pulled the older boy even closer, just wanting to feel the warmth and comfort of a human being.
“You kiss like a bitch,” Delaware giggled, releasing her grip on his shirt but just lingering a little bit, with his lips touching hers.
“You surprised me,”
“Noob,”
-
Christmas morning; Delaware was not ready for it. Ben, Jack, Ashton, and Luke woke her up in matching pajamas, disturbing her two-hour-long nap. Delaware and Michael walked all over the town, kissing, hugging, and sitting to watch the stars collide and connect. She almost screamed at her brothers, sleep-deprived and wishing to wait a little bit longer before facing the day, but she sat up, took the pajama set they gave to her, and closed the door to change.
Ashton and Jack had stayed up until Delaware was brought home with blood-red lips and eyes full of twinkles. Ashton stayed up with Delaware and talked about the night with her, and stayed in the room until she passed out. Delaware couldn’t complain about having such little sleep, especially since Ashton got much less. She felt bad, but wanted just a few more days with this family. Just a few!
“Morning,” Liz said, wearing the same pajamas everyone was wearing. Including Calum and Michael. Black flannel pants with a short-sleeved grey shirt. Delaware observed everybody; everyone except Liz and Andrew had a symbol on their left breast. Jack had a football, Ben had a beaker, Ashton had a drumset, Luke had a guitar, and Delaware had a daisy- just like Jack’s tattoo. Delaware stepped out of the room, towards the downstairs bathroom for a small mental breakdown. It’s tearing her apart- she can’t leave this place.
“Babe,” Michael whispered, pulling his new girlfriend into his arms. They’ll find ways to contact, to visit each other, and more importantly, to stay happy together. “It’s going to be okay. You’re not leaving forever, just a few years. That’s all okay?” Delaware cried harder in his arms. “Hey, shh,” Michael cooed. “You have Christmas presents to open.”
Michael’s family didn’t do much for Christmas, and Calum’s family does their Christmas celebration the night before, rather than that morning. Liz always invites them over and hands them a small stocking full of candy and a single ornament each. They’re her kids too.
“Yeah,” Delaware answered and nodded her head. Michael dried her tears and the tear stains next to the guitar symbol on his shirt. It’ll be okay- they all understand how emotional Delaware is going to be for a little while. “Let’s … let’s go open things.”
Liz gave every single person in her living room a stocking with their names stitched on the top. They got equal amounts of treats, an ornament, and a surprise iTunes gift card. Delaware smiled, thanked her, and kept it close to her body.
They began to dig into the presents scattered underneath the Christmas tree. Delaware opened her first present and looked over the package of canvases like they were her babies. Four of them- four pristine canvases wrapped in plastic wrap and sealed underneath a piece of cardboard to keep them all together. She opened another one; the same, but the canvases were black instead of white. A box of paints, new jeans, hoodies from her favorite bands, and expensive paint brushes she’d been wishing for her entire life. Slowly, she began breaking down. She can’t keep all of these things! It’s rude to steal from these people, to take their money from them that they earned with hard work. She swallowed and set everything into a pile. Her brothers were still digging into presents, and Michael was sat behind her, with her in between his legs and her back pressed into his chest. She leaned back further, as to grab comfort from him. If her biological mom were to find any of these things, she’ll pawn them for money, take them and give them up without guilt, or destroy the things she won’t get money for. Delaware isn’t allowed to have nice things.
Nice things are for good children. Delaware is not a good child.
“Della, are you okay?” Liz whispered, inching closer to Delaware to make sure she wasn’t dying. Delaware shook her head and looked at the mom she’d always wanted with tears rolling down her cheeks. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I can’t keep all of these things,” Delaware shook her head. “I just can’t. You guys- you guys are my family but I just … I can’t keep these things. It’s not right. And Jack, you got a tattoo, including me, and I feel so sorry because I’m not going to be around-”
“Hey, you’re always our family, Della. Okay? Did you get that? You are my little sister? Don’t be ridiculous.” Jack answered, pushing aside a new laptop he’d gotten. He wrapped his arms around his little sister and held her for a few moments. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Della, you still have a few more gifts. And don’t worry about a single thing. These are all yours,” Liz said and took a box from the back of the tree. She sat it in Delaware’s lap and waited for her to tear the green wrapping paper with Delaware written across the top. Delaware ripped it a little bit, caught a glimpse of golden fabric, and tore the paper even more.
A letterman’s jacket, specially made for Delaware, with Hemmings written across the back and her letter for cheerleading pinned on the breast. Delaware held it close, cried right above the fabric -so she wouldn’t ruin it- and told Liz thank you a thousand times. She slipped it over her pajamas; it fits just right. Not too big, not too small. Just enough room for her, some thick clothes, and her phone. That broke her heart even more.
Everyone finished opening their gifts, and packed the wrapping paper up in the recycling bin. For breakfast, they had pancakes with bacon and eggs, orange juice, and Liz made sure that Delaware took her medicine. When she goes to her mom, she knows that she’ll go without medicine, as her mom doesn’t believe in taking Delaware to the doctor, especially for medicine that helps her function. Delaware took her plate and cup into the sink, rinse off the both of them, and stared right at the Christmas tree. It’s in the boys’ living room, so she can see it perfectly.
Tucked underneath all of the branches was a green box, one that hadn’t been there when they were cleaning up wrapping paper. It’s thin, maybe half an inch thick at most, but had a lot of surface area. Delaware pointed to it.
“There’s another gift,” She whispered, but everyone heard her.
“Who’s it for?” Jack asked. He looked over at it. “Go grab it, Della.”
Della walked to the box, picked it up and carried it back to the counter. It was perfectly wrapped, without a single crease in the tape. “It says Jayde. Who’s Jayde?”
Liz pointed to Delaware. “That’s what you wanted your name to be, right? Jayde May-Nova?”
Delaware nodded her head.
“Then it’s for you.”
Delaware looked down, and began to tear away at the paper, but it was wrapped a lot. Her entire body was shaking, even though she’d taken her anxiety medicine to calm her nerves. She shoved all of the paper off; every last bit. She was left with a picture frame. For a moment, she hesitated turning it over, afraid to be cut by the large frame. Shakily, she flipped it, but she couldn’t read it through all of her tears. She wiped her eyes and stared at the frame in front of her. The writing was fancy, but it was obvious what it had said.
Certificate of Adopting for Jayde May-Nova Hemmings finalized for 12/26
Delaware pressed her hand to her mouth, suppressing a sob, ready to scream out until her voice was empty and cracked. She fell to the floor, practically fainting from seeing the document. Michael picked her up. A camera was recording her reaction, seeing that this was something very important to her.
She looked at her brothers. Luke, Ashton, Ben, and Jack were smiling, with tears in their eyes.
“You didn’t think we would actually let you go back to your moms, did you?” Jack asked before standing up to engulf his little sister in a hug. “We’ll never let go, Jayde.” Delaware looked around, at her family- the real family that chose her, changed her name, and legally adopted her. Her biological mom, somebody that doesn’t deserve life. But Liz Hemmings- God, she’s an angel.
-
Request here
#michael clifford#michael clifford x oc#michael clifford one shot#michael clifford oneshot#one shot#5sos one shot#5sos#5 seconds of summer#michael#clifford#calum#hood#calum hood#luke hemmings#luke#hemmings#liz#liz hemmings#5 seconds of summer one shot#mavrick-cliffwhore#5sos michael#ashton irwin#ashton#irwin#tags#foster care#fluff#angst#smut#youngblood
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Checkmate (Prince!Cal AU) Part Four
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: Nothing
Calum was asleep. He had a lazy half-grin on his face, his hair was getting in the way of his closed eyes, and he looked tranquil. He was tranquil. Mali smiled at him from the doorway. He’d become less like the kind boy she grew up with over time, but there was something about Elena that improved that.
Elena, something regarding the lovely outspoken maiden whipped Calum directly into his place. Mali had caught him looking at Elena with a love that couldn’t be manufactured before. And again and again and again. He loved her. She had discovered Elena do the same thing, as well. Now, Mali had no clue if Calum made her a better person, but he made her happier. There was that.
Now, if only they would come to terms with their desire.
Luke and Mali had spent hours awake, speaking of their siblings fondly and how they were the star-spoken lovers that people dreamt of being. How they were meant to fall in love and how they were too foolish and proud to admit it.
Calum was dreaming. He was with Elena, per usual, and they were happy. There were jokes and playful insults and kisses and time spent together. He couldn’t hear the conversation, but he knew it was good. He couldn’t remember waking up to the sunshine, but she wore it like a crown. Like a queen. Which she was. She was everybody’s queen. More importantly, she was his queen. They were in love, they were happy, they weren’t real.
Calum woke up.
Elena woke up, too.
She frowned at the rude reality check, she had been so delighted with Calum in her dream, together and felicitous and dynamic. Instead, she lay lonesome in a frozen bed, without his heat to warm her.
Sadly, she rose from her bed and opened the windows. She could almost grasp the familiar smell of smoke from the air. Quickly, Emma dressed her. Elena attempted conversation multiple times, but Emma consistently shut them down in a closed off manner. When she finally asked what was wrong, Emma curtsied and left.
Elena thought of all she may have done to wrong her friend as she walked solemnly downstairs. Her dress was long enough to reach her knees, but not her shoes and not the floor. She reached the limousines and looked longingly to the stream.
Her feet ached to run, confined within her shoes.
Climbing into the limo felt like twisting the key into the lock of the chains that weighed down her wrists. The leather seats were smooth against Elena’s exposed skin and she sighed contentedly, closing her eyes in bliss, as the air conditioning tore into her lungs, the relief blooming instantly.
The weight shifted beneath Elena as another person joined her in the backseat. She didn’t have to open her eyes to know who the figure was. She recognized his shampoo, his body-wash, his cigarette smoke. “Hello, Calum.” Her voice was stiff and refined, cold and calculated. If she didn’t see him, she wouldn’t lose her focus, her wits.
“Salutations,” She couldn’t help but open a single eye, glancing at him with a cocked eyebrow and faint grin. He looked at her, breaking out in a sweet smile. “What?”
She shrugged, closing her eye again, her folded hands settling on her stomach as it rose and fell with every breath she took. “Just seems like a big word for you,” She grinned, opening her eyes -- blinking at the sunlight -- and smirking at Calum’s slack jaw.
“Well, someone seems to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed today,” He said, mocking her silently as he reached into the cooler. “Want something?” Her eyes widened, looking at him with absolute and utter shock. His eyebrows jumped at her expression. “What?”
“The Calum Hood having manners?” She feigned shock, hand over her racing heart. “Do my eyes deceive me?” He scoffed, shutting the cooler with a meagre slam. In his hand was a Sprite and condensation was trickling down his hand, landing on his pants. Elena silently squirmed in her seat.
“Is everything alright?” He popped the tab, never breaking eye contact. “Princess?” Today, the nickname didn’t bother her. She would never admit to liking such a crude name, not as a princess, but if she weren’t royalty, she would have loved it.
She nodded, looking out the window as the landscape raced in the opposite direction. “Yes, Cal, I’m perfectly fine.” His eyes took on a sudden glimmer, hope overtaking all of his senses.
“What did you just say?”
Elena rolled her eyes, trying her best to hide the smile that fought to break out of its self-inflicted cage. “I said, yes, Calum, I’m perfectly fine.” She said with an almost dumbfounded expression on her face. Calum wanted to slap her, Calum wanted to kiss her.
“No, no,” He wagged a finger at her. Cold water dripped down his other hand. “You said Cal. You, Elena, called me Cal!” He was smiling like a fool now and Elena didn’t know why that made her pulse quicken and breath falter.
“So what if I did?” She crossed her arms at him, caving in. She smiled and it lit up his eyes, lit up his soul. He didn’t show that though, of course. Instead, he mocked her. “Shut up,” She said with a bright giggle, shoving him slightly. He performed as though she’d stabbed him, swaying dramatically before slouching against the seats. “In another life, you should’ve been an actor.”
He bowed, mockingly, obviously. and said oh-so-elegantly, “I’m so glad my performance has pleased you, my Queen.” He grasped her hand with a feather-light touch, pressing his lips to her skin with a smile.
He pulled away, her cheeks burning brightly at the minor sensation. He grinned. If only a light kiss had such an effect on her, then he could only imagine...
The car pulled to a slow stop across the restaurant that had been closed for the day -- today was for the royal couple and their families. And for the paparazzi that never failed to bother them senseless. Elena frowned out the window at the lines and lines of cameras.
She turned to Calum, pulling him closer. “We’re going to have to be a couple today, so act like you love me, okay?” Act?, Calum thought silently. He nodded, swallowing the lump that had built inside his throat. “With that performance of yours, it shouldn’t be too hard,” She smiled at him kindly and he returned it with an even grin. They both faltered.
“You know, we don’t actually have to do it if you’re not comfortable.” He was worried about her. For some reason, it helped her. He cared.
“Thank you, Cal, but,” She glanced back outside, “Everyone wants us to.” She smiled silently at the boy prince.
His nostrils flared at the broken acceptance in her eyes, “Fuck what they think,” He grabbed her hands tightly, securely. “It’s your life, Elena.” She looked down at her lap, outside at the cameras, in his dark, beautiful eyes.
She smiled, pulling him close and kissing his cheek. “I’ll be fine.” He was blushing madly by the time she pulled him out of the car, smiling at fans, taking pictures. She would be fine because she had him.
Not that she would admit it.
XxX
The silence was itching at Calum. He liked the clubs and the bars and the girls because they were all loud and free and unrestricted. He did not like family gatherings or official meetings or stuffy lunches where he could barely breathe.
Calum needed the noise of a lazy cigarette.
His palms were getting sweaty, so he frantically -- calmly -- rubbed them off on his pants, laughing difficultly -- easily -- at the polite small talk and searched for an exit, an anchor.
She looked beautiful under the sunlight.
She looked beautiful anytime, anywhere, Calum was starting to learn. She was smiling tightly, talking to Mali-Koa, and then turning to Noah. She smiled easily now, laughing without restraint, living freely. He smiled, his need for a cigarette dying down with every breath. He would be okay because he had her.
Not that he would admit it.
He wrote on a napkin, sliding it over quickly. Are you okay?
She looked at it, looked at him, quirked an eyebrow, and grinned. She pulled out a pen from a pocket he didn’t know she had.
Yeah, are you?
He smiled.
I am now.
XxX
The lunch had been going smoothly and now, they were leaving. The limos were ready to go, but Calum and Elena lingered. In the garden, by the trellis, they talked, laughed, smiled, lived.
Yet, from the peaceful garden behind the beautiful restaurant where the flowers overflowed their pots and the air was full of beauty, they could still hear the clicking of cameras, the yelling of photographers. Again, Calum was reassuring her. Again and again and again and again.. “Seriously, Elena, we don’t have to. It’s your choice.”
And she continued to say, “I know it is, and it’s fine, Cal. We’ll do it, it’ll be fine.” Despite the passion-filled words, neither of them made a move. Elena’s blood was rushing and she could feel it in her veins with every thrum of her heart, Calum’s heart was racing and he could hear it in his blood. The tension continued to become taut as time went on.
Elena was not one to wait around for things she wanted, “No, really, we don’t have-” Her lips were upon Calum’s before he could continue his mindless protests. The yelling and the lights seem to dim as their mouths melted into each other. Everything else, even the beautiful white trellis, turned to dust.
Though her mind had become silent and the buzz of a million bees all at once, Elena couldn’t help her thoughts -- his lips were softer than she expected and his arms were much stronger. Her hands found their way to his neck and she wove them into his dark curls, tugging slightly. The kiss deepened. It was a mix of teeth, of tongues, of dominance, of love.
She forced herself to pull away.
There was a pause before Elena fixed her dress, glancing around nervously, avoiding Calum’s eyes. “Yeah,” She smiled at him before saying “That was really good acting.” She turned around, hurrying to the limos, leaving him in the dust of the beautiful garden.
Calum was glad she walked away -- that way, she couldn’t see his heart breaking. Little did he know, she turned away so he wouldn’t see hers breaking, too.
They rode back to the castle in silence.
Neither of them would be okay.
Because of each other.
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Did someone ask for Bond Dialogue and stuff for Fate!Patchouli? No? I should be doing drafts, you say? Bah! Hime can’t heaaar yooouuu~~~!
Bond Levels
Start
A mysterious mage from some ‘far off land’ She claims that it’s closer than we may think, and yet further than the horizon- whatever that means. Her magic prowess is quite impressive, despite how unassuming she might appear, but...
She’s a calm and pleasant person, but you swear you’d never heard of her until now…
Level 1
Height/Weight: 152cm・???kg
Source: An unknown land
Region: Japan(?)
Alignment: True・Neutral
Gender: Female
She seems to float more or less all the time, so it was impossible to weigh her. It’s estimated her weight is low, however, due to her seemingly sickly disposition.
Level 2
To tell the truth, She is not at all from the same ‘world’ as other heroic spirits. While she has not elaborated on it herself, fluctuations in her spirit origin, magecraft tracing and other methods of analysis have deducted this fact. Many mysterious still surround her origins, especially when it comes to her fluctuating magecraft.
Despite her strange origins, she doesn’t seem at all surprised at being summoned to Chaldea.
Level 3
She hungers for knowledge in a way many others cannot replicate. Her knowledge of magic, of magecraft and of various Japanese folklore seems to be almost unmatched. She would gladly divulge this knowledge to her master- or any who would ask. Training with magic seems to be something she especially enjoys doing- a natural born teacher.
...However, her knowledge of the Western World is severely lacking, as it seems the gift of that knowledge has not been given to her; for whatever reason. In this case, she will gladly ask others to tell her and excitedly listen with expectant eyes- a true glutton of knowledge, no matter how you look at it.
Level 4
Teaching her Master, helping them learn, improve and grow. Sights like that make her smile with genuine care. Being a Teacher is one thing, but it seems Patchouli is used to caring for others, too. Extremely perceptive of how others are feeling, she would keep a close eye on her Master’s mental state over the course of the Grand Order.
...She may not be of this world, but she is dead-set on saving it. It is unknown if her world would persist if ours were Incinerated, but even if it were to survive...she will still fight with her Master, for there is much to learn about this world, too.
Level 5
Voile, The Locked Girl’s Dark Library
Rank: EX
Type: Anti-Army
A dark foreboding library filled with knowledge few could even hope to understand. The mana concentration within it is way higher than anywhere else on the planet. It’s almost as if the library manifests itself, as opposed to Patchouli summoning it using her own power. The interior is far larger than the exterior would suggest.
The knowledge within could twist more fragile minds, so she works extra hard to hold it back when her Master is around.
Extra
She seems quiet and reserved, but this is not strictly true. She is quite open with her feelings and generally works hard. ...However, she’s also open about quite a few other things. She’ll casually get changed, or talk about more ‘sensitive’ topics regardless of who’s around her.
It’s as if she’s completely unaware that males or exist, or doesn’t know about the societal norms regarding them.
Bond LVL 10 CE: Treasured Assistant - “Increase the effectiveness of all buffs applied by allies, including yourself, by 10%, and apply immunity to stuns for yourself, only when equipped by [Patchouli Knowledge (Caster)]
A photo of Patchouli asleep upon a chair, a mysterious red-haired girl placing a blanket over her. Who took the photo is impossible to tell, but both people seem very important to Patchouli...the photo reminds her of home, and always make her smile.
Dialogue
Upon Summoning: “Aahh...it worked, huh? Hey, hey. Patchouli Knowledge, Caster class...Nice to meet you, Ma...ah, no, I couldn’t say it...”
Level Up: “Level up, huh? What an odd sort of feeling... ”
1st Ascension: “Haaah...I feel sort of strong- cough!?”
2nd Ascension: “...Even if the system is unfamiliar, Magic is Magic I suppose~”
3rd Ascension: “I see, I see. My abilities have increased once more. It feels sorta nice...”
4th Ascension: “You sure learn quick, Master. Oh? Don’t look so surprised at me calling you that..it’s what you are, right? Ehehehe~ Alright! I look forward to working with you more, ‘kay?”
Battle Start 1: “Mouu...Fights aren’t my style, really, but...”
Battle Start 2: “No spell cards, huh? Time to go all out, I guess.”
Skill 1: “Yes, yes, that’ll do.”
Skill 2: “Something like this...?”
Command Card Selected 1: “Alrighty...”
Command Card Selected 2: “Gotcha.”
Command Card Selected 3: “You sure...?”
Extra Attack: “Here I go-! [ Sun Sign ~ Royal Flare] !”
Noble Phantasm Selected: “Ah, How Nostalgic...!”
Regular Damage 1: “Gwah?!”
Regular Damage 2: “Owie!”
Damage from Noble Phantasm: “This is nothing like Danmaku...!!”
Defeated 1: “D..damn...time for me to take a break, I guess...!”
Defeated 2: “Koa...get my bed ready, i’m..tired...aah~”
Battle Finish 1: “Whew, glad that’s over. I’m exhausted.”
Battle Finish 2: “Guhh...I may have overexerted myse-” cough?!
Bond Lvl 1: “Patchouli Knowledge is my true name, and yet you still look so confused. Is it really such a big deal that you don’t remember hearing of me before now?”
Bond Lvl 2: “Mmmm..Mukyuu...It’s nothing, really...”
Bond Lvl 3: “You’re a persistent one, huh? Always asking questions and commanding me about! Honestly, that really reminds me...Guhuh!? Ah, n..no one in particular...!”
Bond Lvl 4: “...Fine, fine...I’ll trust you with this, right? I’m really not from this world at all. Which world? Ahh, hungry for the knowledge I see. Alas, I can’t divulge that much... The World is already mad at me for being here, Ehehe~”
Bond Lvl 5: “...Ah, you remind me of all of them...Remi, Flan...Koa...Meiling..Sakuya, too. Don’t worry, Master. I, Patchouli Knowledge shall protect you with all I have...maybe someday, I’ll find a way to take you there.”
Dialogue 1: “Chaldea really is kind of amazing, huh? It’d be easy to get lost if I wasn’t so used to this kind of thing...”
Dialogue 2: “...Servants, huh...You don’t really see any of them as Servants, though, do you Master...?”
Dialogue 3: “Seriously, I’m fine! You don’t need to keep ask-” cough!?
Something You Like: “What do I like? Learning, I guess. I like to learn new things and see what there is to see. A new species, a new land, a new type of spell...Yes, there’s no greater joy than discovering something new.
Something You Hate: “...You know, I’m not fond of pushy magicians intent on disrupting my research. Like a drizzle upon a sunny day picnic...nothing ruins my mood quicker.”
About the Holy Grail: “The holy grail, huh...a Wish Granting cup...No, I’d never heard of it until recently. What kind of effects could it have if it was there, I wonder...”
If [Reimu Hakurei (any)] is summoned: “Eh? She’s here too?! Jeez..no way! Part of me isn’t surprised, but...Hm? How do I know her? It’s a long story, but know that i’m pretty happy she’s here. She’s probably the strongest fighter I know, after all...”
If [Reimu Hakurei] (Saber)] is summoned: “Mhm, the strongest fighter I know, that’s Reimu. It fills me with confidence to see her. Eh? Her weakest class?! No way...!?”
If [Flandre Scarlet] is summoned: “Flan...what’s she doing here...Hey, Master, why is Flandre here? Eh? My legend, you say...oh..oh no...D..did I mess something up...?”
Birthday: “The day you were born, huh? I don’t remember mine but...eh...uh... H....Happy Birthday, Master! How’s that, you satisfied? Ehehehe~!”
#In Character: Legends of the Abyss#Patchouli Knowledge: Mage of the Voile#Fate Verse: Called by Chaldea#yes i should have been doing drafts but i'm not feeling them rn so HAVE THIS#FDSGDSFSDDGd#I'll do drafts soon i swear but#DFGDF#Headcanons: A 'what if' brought to life#did i do it#how well did imitate F:GO's style of writing
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The Queen’s Thief Appreciation, Day 7: Free Day
I had graphics planned for this but my laptop is being A Asshole so that didn’t pan out so instead you get me rambling in text form for QT CHARACTERS AS HOUSES OF WESTEROS!!!
Eugenides - House Lannister, Hear Me Roar
While Eugenides and his family isn’t as dysfunctional as the Lannister’s (....like, who could ever be) I do like the similarities in Eugenides resenting much of his family and the way he grew up, and how he wanted something very different in his life with Tyrion and Jaime’s own issues with their families (obviously this is a very simplistic reading, but I think the comparison is interesting to think about, and especially the contrast between the MoW and Tywin). But beyond that, I think Eugenides fits the Lannister word as a character.
Irene - House Tyrell, Growing Strong
This one isn’t just the words, though they’re important in that her whole story centers around her personal strength, whether it be strength as a queen or her own emotional strength and growth, but also in how House Tyrell comes across. They are pretty and kind and caring UNTIL they’re killing kings and blaming innocent girls for it, and you remember roses have thorns.
Helen - House Mormont of Bear Island, Here We Stand
Honestly, my reasoning for this is much less cool and boils down to “Helen would love the Mormont women” and “House Mormont makes me cry daily and Helen also makes me cry daily” so 🤷🏽♀️ (I’m trying to think of a way to sum it up quickly and failing lol but I said once about jorah like “hypocrite asshole but he stands his ground because he is his father’s son” and dacey and jeor dying on their feet and fighting bc nothing else is conceivable. Helen will sacrifice everything to save her people, she will not sit idly by because Here She Stands)
Costis - House Arryn, As High As Honor
Honor is a large part of what drives Costis and the plot of KoA (and a lot of his characterization in TaT as well). It’s not even just that it’s important to him, because it is, but that the importance he places on his honor, however it often gets him trouble, takes him further than others in deed and rank.
Sophos - House Oakheart, Our Roots Go Deep
My son has hidden depths of bravery and strength and a near endless amount of kindness. His roots and his knowledge, from Pol and the Magus and his uncle and his mother and his father and Gen, go deeper than the reader expects, than his country expects, than he even expects.
Kamet - House Jordayne of the Tor, Let it Be Written
I feel like this one is p self explanatory ie Kamet’s role as a scholar and witness to history, but ALSO it’s important to me, a Known House Martell Stan, that his words come from Dorne, from a people who resisted Aegon for decades, who still resist through their culture, who call out the broken system to its face.
The Magus - House Stokeworth, Proud to be Faithful
Seems fairly self explanatory - despite everything that happens, how the politics change and shift and grow, he remains loyal to Sounis and loyal to Sophos
Bonus
The Attolian Guard but also Teleus specifically - House Graceford, Work Her Will
Pol - House Flint of Widow’s Watch, Ever Vigilant
Bc obviously
#the queen's thief#queen’s thief#qtappreciationweek#rani makes text posts no one will read#houses of westeros
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3,5?
3. What do you want to happen in the Nessian book?
What follows is a detailed list of mine and @tacmc’s top 5:
1. We need kisses. We need smut. We need love. WE NEED. A. MATING BOND.
2. We need Cassian to learn to accept Nesta’s trauma and help her find her way out of the darkness she’s lost herself in.
3. We need a firm understanding of Nesta’s powers and her mastery of them (I think it’ll be something akin to the Illyrian killing power).
4. I want Nesta to put Devlon on his ass somehow. You know there’s going to be some sort of misogynistic bullshit he’s going to spout in her face that she won’t accept and she’ll set him fucking straaaaight.
5. These are less important, but we want news of a Feysand pregnancy, cause UGHHHH BABIES and WE NEED CANON ELRIEL.
5. Think back to your first read of ToG. Did anything not happen in the series that you really wanted to happen?
Listen, mate, absofuckinglutely nothing I got from the books following Throne of Glass were what I was expecting. Did I think Celaena was going to turn out to be a princess everyone thought was dead? No. Did I think Chaol and Celaena would last forever? Hell yeah, I did. Am I happy with how the series ended? Beyond. It was a happy ending for me.
However, I’m very disappointed we didn’t get a Nox/Aelin reunion in KoA!
Send a number from THIS LIST to my ASK BOX!
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Top 8 Worldly Reads of 2018
If the title doesn’t make sense, here’s an explanation: “worldly reads” means books that don’t have a fantastical element and can happen in our world. I read a massive amount of worldly books and wanted to share some of them!
8. Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia
Eliza and Her Monsters was such a cute and fluffy contemporary. It made me melt so many times and it was just overall so nice to read. I did find the ending a bit wonky and problematic but.. yeah? I don’t know. I just remember being super in love with the characters and then by the end, I just felt uneasy about them. Nonetheless, the writing, story, and artwork was beautiful and just great. 4/5 stars!
7. Kids of Appetite by David Arnold
I made a review/booktalk about KoA so I’ll just briefly talk about it. It wasn’t the most amazing read for me but it made me feel so many emotions. It talks a lot about family and friends which made me bawl my eyes out. There are so many beautiful lines that I can relate with. I did find that some characters were a little flat but it didn’t really take away from my enjoyment of the story. 4/5 stars!
6. Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli
I picked this up because I’d heard that there was going to be a movie adaptation (I freaking loved it) and I wanted to read the book before it came out. What a freaking fantabulous book. It was so cute and funny and I absolutely loved the characters. I felt so many emotions for Simon, and it was just a great book. 4/5 stars!
5. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid
Now that I’m thinking about it, I think this is my first adult realistic fiction book. Wow. Anyways, this book was nothing that I had read before and I loved it. Everything was so visual and it felt like I was watching a movie. I absolutely loved Evelyn as a character because she really gives you the run down of how shitty the world is and can be. She also has this ‘no bullshit’ attitude and I’m all for it. This book has to be one of the most memorable books I’ve ever read. It’s funny, heartbreaking, and amazing. 4/5 stars!
4. Heretics Anonymous by Katie Henry
I picked this book up on a whim and was hoping that I would like it, and I DID! It’s said to be a funny book which I didn’t believe and honestly, not a lot of books make me laugh but Heretics Anonymous is hilarious. I love how it pushes the YA boundaries by talking about such a controversial topic (religion/religious beliefs) but manages to keep everything light-hearted and so humorous. Katie Henry knows her shit and executes it so well. Aside from that, I really loved the characters. I live for banter and it was so perfect in here. Not to mention the relationships in here, are so real and relatable. 4.5/5 stars!
These next three books have trigger/content warnings for sexual assault/abuse!
3. Sadie by Courtney Summers
This was one of the two YA mystery thrillers I read this year and I loved this book. It deals with such a heavy topic but executes it so well. The story and characters are so captivating and keeps you on the edge of your seat. I loved how it was told from two perspectives; Sadie’s and the podcast. It was an interesting take but it added so much more intensity. The ending has me a bit unsettled but I liked it with this book. Sadly, I didn’t read it with the audiobook but I’ve listened to a preview of it and YOU GUYS NEED TO READ IT WITH OR JUST LISTEN TO THE AUDIOBOOK because it will literally blow your mind. 4.5/5 stars!
2. The Female of the Species by Mindy McGinnis
I was super skeptical about this one because Goodreads recommended it to me and we all know that a lot of the times, Goodreads gets it so wrong, but surprise, surprise. I loved this book. The very first chapter grabs your attention and leaves you wanting more. Our main MAIN character, Alex, is such an interesting and complex character to read from. That is probably the main reason why I loved this book so much. Don’t get me wrong. I do love the other main characters but they don’t capture me as much and as well as Alex does. This book is very heavy as well and so gruesome. There are some graphic and violent scenes that I couldn’t bear. I will say that this book has problematic qualities. No shame in saying that, but does that mean I love it any less? No. 4.5/5 stars!
1. The First Time She Drowned by Kerry Kletter
This dang book! I was so not expecting to like it but I did! I wanted to write a review/booktalk for this but I couldn’t and still can’t collect all my thoughts. I am planning on rereading it sometime in 2019 though so we shall see. Anyways, the writing is so beautiful! I have never in my life, read something so well written and beautiful. With a few books that I’ve read, I felt like some of the lines were written just because they sounded good and pretty but they never really made any sense to the story. The writing in here though, was pretty AND made sense. It is definitely a super heavy read but it’s so good. One thing I admired so much was how Cassie, our main character, grows and develops. I also really liked how there was the inclusion of a romance, friendship, and humor but it didn’t overpower the main plot. It held its roots and it made for an amazing and absolutely heartbreaking story. 4.5/5 stars!
#eliza and her monsters#francesca zappia#kids of appetite#david arnold#simon vs the homo sapiens agenda#becky albertalli#the seven husbands of evelyn hugo#taylor jenkins reid#heretics anonymous#katie henry#sadie#courtney summers#the female of the species#mindy mcginnis#the first time she drowned#kerry kletter#books#book reviews#book review#end of year book review
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If you thought 2018 was filled with ALL the amazing new books (which it was), think again. 2019 is truly going to be an awesome year for YA book releases. Many of my all-time favorite authors are coming out with such exciting titles (helloooo Rainbow Rowell), so this reader definitely needs to be saving all of her bookstore gift cards from Christmas.
While this list does not include every single book I’m anticipating in 2019 (because your fingers would hate me from all of that scrolling and I’ve already recapped my most anticipated contemporary releases), today I’m going to be discussing the non- contemporary books I absolutely cannot wait to grace my bookshelves.
The Wicked King (The Folk of Air #2) by Holly Black (January 8)– I’ve cheated a little bit with The Wicked King, considering that I was fortunate enough to read an ARC in 2018. But let me tell you, I am so ready to reread this The Cruel Prince sequel already because it impressed me that much. And yes, I’ll be crying until The Queen of Nothing.
The Winter of the Witch (Winternight #3) by Katherine Arden (January 8)– I needed this book in October after I unexpectedly devoured The Girl in the Tower in less than two days. I’m really not ready for the Winternight trilogy to end, but I am ready to see what Katherine Arden has in store for Vasya and co.
Imprison the Sky (Elementae #2) by A.C. Gaughen (January 22)– Reign the Earth was one of my favorite books of 2018, totally entranced by its elemental magic system and world. Imprison the Sky follows a girl who can control wind and I cannot wait to see this world and series expand.
Someday We Will Fly by Rachel DeWoskin (January 22)– I love reading untold stories set during World War II and the Holocaust. Someday We Will Fly beings in 1940s Warsaw, where Lilia’s Jewish family decides to flee to Shanghai for their safety.
Lovely War by Julie Berry (March 5)– Julie Berry’s Lovely War sounds like another super unique historical fiction novel. It’s 1942 when immortals Ares and Aphrodite are caught by the latter’s jealous husband. Aphrodite must justify her actions, or face judgment on Mount Olympus. Aphrodite takes readers back to 1917, telling the story of four mortals whose lives entwined in the crucible of World War I,
All for One (Alex & Eliza #3) by Melissa de la Cruz (April 16)– Melissa de la Cruz’s Alex and Eliza trilogy is the perfect solution to the need for Hamilton content in my life.
Queen of Ruin (Grace and Fury #2) by Tracy Banghart (July 2)– Being that Grace and Fury was one of my favorite 2018 reads, I have a feeling Queen of Ruin will be an epic return back to this fantasy filled with sisterhood.
The Downstairs Girl by Stacey Lee (August 13)– The Downstairs Girl sounds so different from most historical fiction books that I’ve read. By day, seventeen-year old Jo serves as a lady’s maid for one of the cruel daughter of a wealthy Atalanta families. By night, she moonlights as the pseudonymous author of a newspaper advice column, challenging society’s ideas of race and gender.
Pumpkinheads by Rainbow Rowell & Faith Erin Hicks (August 27)– Pumpkinheads has been on my TBR since 2017. I cannot wait for this graphic novel following two best friends working in a pumpkin patch (can you sense the fall vibes already??) written by one of my all-time favorite authors.
Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (October 1)- Leigh Barudgo’s Ninth House is another book that has been sitting on my TBR since 2017, and it sounds so different, but obviously still amazing, than Leigh’s other books. The first book in this new series follows a Yale University student’s encounter with the school’s secret societies.
Wayward Son (Carry On #2) by Rainbow Rowell (TBD)– Not only are we being blessed with Pumpkinheads in 2019, but we’re getting Wayward Son one year earlier than expected. Although I was satisfied with Carry On’s ending, I’m really excited to see what Rainbow Rowell does with Wayward Son.
Untitled (Legend #4) by Marie Lu (TBD)– Some of the best bookish news of 2018 for this fangirl was that Marie Lu is coming out with a fourth book in her Legend series. Legend is one of my all-time favorite YA series, so I am very much excited for this unexpected sequel.
The World of Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas (TBD)– You know, I was starting to think I was ready to say goodbye to Throne of Glass when Kingdom of Ash came out… until KoA crushed my bookish soul and made me realize I’m not ready to let go of these characters. The most exciting aspect of The World of Throne of Glass is that it will feature the ToG cast ten years after KoA’s ending.
Kingdom of Back by Marie Lu (TBD)– There aren’t too many details about Kingdom of Back’s release, but Marie Lu’s book inspired by Mozart’s childhood sounds really unique.
No worries, there are even more 2019 books on my radar- be prepared for ALL the seasonal anticipated reads lists. What 2019 books are on your TBR? Share in the comments!
ALL THE BOOKS PLEASE: Most Anticipated 2019 Non-Contemporary Releases If you thought 2018 was filled with ALL the amazing new books (which it was), think again.
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Link to Video: https://youtu.be/F_cpx8i7H6M
TONGS
Blacksmith Depot: https://www.blacksmithsdepot.com/ not cheap but solid and they sell a wide range of options. Consider a pair of Universal V-bit or some Offset tongs. Expect to spend $50 per set plus shipping.
GSTongs: https://www.gstongs.com/tongs.html these are generally shorter tongs 11”-12” but solid and heavy duty. They are $37 a piece plus shipping.
Ken’s Custom Iron: https://kensironstore.com/ these tongs are super affordable while still being good quality. However, they are not finished. Your blacksmith will have to put their skills to the test to finish these. The upside to that is they can forge them as they need and add to their experience, the downside is they aren’t ready to go right out of the box. Price is $50 for a bundle of 5 sets plus shippin.
Amazon Prime: V-Bit Bolt Blacksmith Tongs - 450mm (18")
HAMMERS
Brent Bailey Forge: http://www.brentbaileyforge.com/ Classic Cross Pein Hammer. Brent makes quite a few hammer types and they are all worth looking at. Most of them are a bit high in price for a low-budget beginner but if you have the cash you should consider purchasing one of his higher end models. If you want the quality and a good all around hammer though his cross pein comes in at $60 plus shipping. It’s a great deal and a great product.
Guildwerks: https://www.guildwerks.com/ They make a beautiful and classic American style rounding hammer. While they are not cheap, this will be a hammer that can be passed down from generation to generation. Hammers start around $250 per hammer.
Hammer Source: https://www.hammersource.com This site stocks all types of hammers. They are generally very affordable like the 1.5 lb Nordic rounding hammers $47 per hammer and the Swedish Pattern Blacksmith Hammer for $49 per hammer plus shipping. If you are looking to save some money but still get a great functioning product check them out.
FORGES
Chile Forge: http://www.chileforge.com/ Arguably one of the best propane forges on the market, they heat hot, fast and evenly. Used by smiths like Jason Knight and David DeLagardelle, you won’t be disappointed in performance. They start at $750 for a one burner and go up from there (plus shipping).
NC Tool: https://www.nctoolco.com/ A mid range forge of good quality and design, this forge is one of the popular forge makers out there. Price starts at $435 for a single burner.
Texas Forges: https://www.facebook.com/jcfuzzzyface47/ They sell a one burner forge starting at $200 and price includes shipping to continental U.S. It’s a solid forge on a budget and may just be what your blacksmith needs to get hot.
Coal Forges: http://www.centaurforge.com/ They have a huge selection of coal forges and they start around $375. They are running specials through the holidays this year.
ANVILS
Centaur Forge: http://www.centaurforge.com/Anvils/departments/141/ This distributer has quite a few options starting at about $300 for a 70 lb anvil and going up from there. The nice thing about Centaur is that they have a $9.85 flat rate shipping fee or free shipping for orders over $375.
Anvil Brand: https://www.anvilbrand.com/shop-categories/anvils/ While they have many of the same options as Centaur they have a few additional brands that may be worth a look if you have a little more jingle this holiday season.
JHM Certifier 100 Lb. Anvil
Grizzly Industrial: http://www.grizzly.com/products/300-lb-Anvil/G8150 This anvil is a decent weight and the price is quite nice. Perfect beginner forge. Maybe also get a magnet and a chain with this to help turn down the ringing.
Grizzly G8147 Anvil, 55-Pound
DRIFTS, CHISELS & PUNCHES
Tomahawk Drift: Sold by Brent Bailey Forge http://www.brentbaileyforge.com/ , these tomahawk drifts ($110) drifts are made to take a beating. They are forged from tool steel and have a much longer lifespan than a cast iron drift. While you are on his site check out some of his other pieces too, like the basic punch for $45.
Slot Punch: https://www.wateroakforge.com/products/blacksmith-slot-punch?variant=26989971463 The slot punch makes so many projects possible to a blacksmith. Bottle openers, axes, hammers and more will all be possible when your blacksmith has a slot punch at their disposal. Water Oak Forge sells one for $13.50 plus shipping. At that price you might as well buy 2!
Anvil Devil: http://www.piehtoolco.com/contents/en-us/p7195.html These little devils, available from Pieh Tool Co. are little anvil top chisels that can be used to hot cut, mark lines and create texture without having to see if it fits in your blacksmith’s hardy hole (the square hole on the face of the anvil). They are handy and portable cost less than $5. They are perfect for stocking stuffers!
STEEL
New Jersey Steel Baron: http://newjerseysteelbaron.com/shop/product-category/high-carbon-steel/ Okay, most steel from here is sold in 4 foot sections. So you may have to cut it up or give it in a long tube. Maybe start with some 1075, 1084 or something a little more durable like my favorite, W2. On second thought stay away from the W2 so there is plenty left for me ;)
McMaster Carr: https://www.mcmaster.com/#standard-steel-rods/=1ae9p7r They sell a decent range of steels and in various sizes. You can get some bar stock W1, the same steel I made my winning Panabas from on Forged in Fire.
Jantz Knifemaking: http://www.knifemaking.com/category-s/1502.htm They offer some smaller sized pieces, cheaper for shipping and you can pick up some other handy items from their online store.
FUEL
Propane: https://www.lowes.com/pd/Worthington-Pro-Grade-40-lb-Propane-Tank/3089595 Buy an exchange propane grill tank from a grocery store or gas station. Even if your blacksmith already has one, two is even better! You can also give a gift card to KOA, which refills propane 7 days a week.
Coal: You can order this from Ebay, Blacksmith Depot and Centaur Forge or you can just be bad and hope Santa delivers a big pile on Christmas morning.
Lump Charcoal: https://www.walmart.com/ip/Royal-Oak-100-All-Natural-Hardwood-Lump-Charcoal-4-lbs/54065925 Yes, you can use charcoal, no it’s not the best or cheapest but it’s a good fuel option and lump coal from wood is often sold in grocery stores. Make sure you are not purchasing briquettes as they really mess up the steel, burn cooler and dirtier.
BOOKS, DVDs & LESSONS
Books: The Backyard Blacksmith by Lorelei Sims, The Complete Modern Blacksmithby Alexander Weygers and The Complete Bladesmith: Forging Your Way To Perfectionby Jim Hrisoulas.
DVDs: J. Neilson’s How to... series http://chriscrawfordknives.com/dvds/
Classes: There are many schools and folk schools and bladesmiths that offer classes like Walter Sorrells and Alec Steele who has quite the “okaly dokaly” online course https://beginblacksmithing.com/.
SHOP SUPPLIES
Beeswax: Hansi Beeswax Premium 5 oz> Nothing shines up a freshly forged piece like a bit of wax. You can pick this up at Hobby Lobby and other crafting stores.
Rags: Blacksmith shops are messy places, our hands are dirty and are clothes are dirty, but with some good shop rags we can keep some of that dirt at bay.
Shop towels, Perfect for your Shop (14x14) inches, 25 Pack, (Red)
Vinegar: It’s a great product for removing scale. I keep a bucket full at all times in my shop. We buy it in bulk sized containers from Costco.
Distilled White Vinegar Jug, 1 gal
Grinder Supplies: Belts, discs and wheels get burned through pretty quickly in a blacksmith shop. A replenished supply at Christmas would go a loooooong way. Just make sure you know what type of equipment you are buying for and that your order will fit. Harbor Freight, Northern Tool, Lowes, Home Depot, Ace Hardware and Menards are all good places to buy many of these items.
4.5" Angle Grinder Flap Disc 40 Grit - 10 Pack
Soapstone: It’s a fireproof stone that comes in the shape of chalk like sticks that smiths can use to mark their work as they go. They aren’t very expensive and you can find them at just about any hardware store.
Flat Soapstone Holder with 7 Flat Professional Quality Soapstone
Wire-brushes: These help us keep the metal clean and free of scale as we work it. We can wear them out rather quickly so we don’t usually turn our nose at them. Also readily available at most hardware stores.
Steel Wire Brush
Sandpaper and Steel Wool: Also another item that seems to burn up faster than wood. Even though I have a grinder I still go through packs of 120, 220, 320, 400 and 600 grit sandpaper on a regular basis. I also use my fair share of steel wool, just make sure it’s #0000
Steel Wool #0000 Super Fine
Oils: We use oils for all kinds of things in our shops. From polishing wood to quenching knifes and sanding blades, oil helps us get the job done. Linseed is good for handles, mineral is good for quenching as is vegetable oil and even transmission fluid. Oil is good for darkening steel and giving it a rust protectant coating.
Break-Free CLP-2 Cleaner Lubricant Preservative
SAFETY
Gloves: No elastic wrist bands, should be all leather. If married, order them some silicone rings so they are more likely to keep their fingers should a finger related accident occur.
Eye Protection: DEWALT DPG82-11 Concealer Clear Anti-Fog Dual Mold Safety Goggle Get something shock rated, Face Shieldsare a great investment!
Respirators: 3M(TM) Half Facepiece Respirator Assembly 6291/07002(AAD), Medium, with 3M(TM) Particulate Filters 2091/07000(AAD), P100 Blacksmith air is dirty air. Give the gift of healthy lungs this Christmas.
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Fate!Patchouli’s Bond Level and Dialogue~
Bond Levels
Start
A mysterious mage from some ‘far off land’ She claims that it’s closer than we may think, and yet further than the horizon- whatever that means. Her magic prowess is quite impressive, despite how unassuming she might appear, but…
She’s a calm and pleasant person, but you swear you’d never heard of her until now…
Level 1
Height/Weight: 152cm・???kg
Source: An unknown land
Region: Japan(?)
Alignment: True・Neutral
Gender: Female
She seems to float more or less all the time, so it was impossible to weigh her. It’s estimated her weight is low, however, due to her seemingly sickly disposition.
Level 2
To tell the truth, She is not at all from the same ‘world’ as other heroic spirits. While she has not elaborated on it herself, fluctuations in her spirit origin, magecraft tracing and other methods of analysis have deducted this fact. Many mysterious still surround her origins, especially when it comes to her fluctuating magecraft.
Despite her strange origins, she doesn’t seem at all surprised at being summoned to Chaldea.
Level 3
She hungers for knowledge in a way many others cannot replicate. Her knowledge of magic, of magecraft and of various Japanese folklore seems to be almost unmatched. She would gladly divulge this knowledge to her master- or any who would ask. Training with magic seems to be something she especially enjoys doing- a natural born teacher.
…However, her knowledge of the Western World is severely lacking, as it seems the gift of that knowledge has not been given to her; for whatever reason. In this case, she will gladly ask others to tell her and excitedly listen with expectant eyes- a true glutton of knowledge, no matter how you look at it.
Level 4
Teaching her Master, helping them learn, improve and grow. Sights like that make her smile with genuine care. Being a Teacher is one thing, but it seems Patchouli is used to caring for others, too. Extremely perceptive of how others are feeling, she would keep a close eye on her Master’s mental state over the course of the Grand Order.
…She may not be of this world, but she is dead-set on saving it. It is unknown if her world would persist if ours were Incinerated, but even if it were to survive…she will still fight with her Master, for there is much to learn about this world, too.
Level 5
Voile, The Locked Girl’s Dark Library
Rank: EX
Type: Anti-Army
A dark foreboding library filled with knowledge few could even hope to understand. The mana concentration within it is way higher than anywhere else on the planet. It’s almost as if the library manifests itself, as opposed to Patchouli summoning it using her own power. The interior is far larger than the exterior would suggest.
The knowledge within could twist more fragile minds, so she works extra hard to hold it back when her Master is around.
Extra
She seems quiet and reserved, but this is not strictly true. She is quite open with her feelings and generally works hard. …However, she’s also open about quite a few other things. She’ll casually get changed, or talk about more ‘sensitive’ topics regardless of who’s around her.
It’s as if she’s completely unaware that males or exist, or doesn’t know about the societal norms regarding them.
Bond LVL 10 CE: Treasured Assistant - “Increase the effectiveness of all buffs applied by allies, including yourself, by 10%, and apply immunity to stuns for yourself, only when equipped by [Patchouli Knowledge (Caster)]
A photo of Patchouli asleep upon a chair, a mysterious red-haired girl placing a blanket over her. Who took the photo is impossible to tell, but both people seem very important to Patchouli…the photo reminds her of home, and always make her smile.
Dialogue
Upon Summoning: “Aahh…it worked, huh? Hey, hey. Patchouli Knowledge, Caster class…Nice to meet you, Ma…ah, no, I couldn’t say it…”
Level Up: “Level up, huh? What an odd sort of feeling… ”
1st Ascension: “Haaah…I feel sort of strong- cough!?”
2nd Ascension: “…Even if the system is unfamiliar, Magic is Magic I suppose~”
3rd Ascension: “I see, I see. My abilities have increased once more. It feels sorta nice…”
4th Ascension: “You sure learn quick, Master. Oh? Don’t look so surprised at me calling you that..it’s what you are, right? Ehehehe~ Alright! I look forward to working with you more, ‘kay?”
Battle Start 1: “Mouu…Fights aren’t my style, really, but…”
Battle Start 2: “No spell cards, huh? Time to go all out, I guess.”
Skill 1: “Yes, yes, that’ll do.”
Skill 2: “Something like this…?”
Command Card Selected 1: “Alrighty…”
Command Card Selected 2: “Gotcha.”
Command Card Selected 3: “You sure…?”
Extra Attack: “Here I go-! [ Sun Sign ~ Royal Flare] !”
Noble Phantasm Selected: “Ah, How Nostalgic…!”
Regular Damage 1: “Gwah?!”
Regular Damage 2: “Owie!”
Damage from Noble Phantasm: “This is nothing like Danmaku…!!”
Defeated 1: “D..damn…time for me to take a break, I guess…!”
Defeated 2: “Koa…get my bed ready, i’m..tired…aah~”
Battle Finish 1: “Whew, glad that’s over. I’m exhausted.”
Battle Finish 2: “Guhh…I may have overexerted myse-” cough?!
Bond Lvl 1: “Patchouli Knowledge is my true name, and yet you still look so confused. Is it really such a big deal that you don’t remember hearing of me before now?”
Bond Lvl 2: “Mmmm..Mukyuu…It’s nothing, really…”
Bond Lvl 3: “You’re a persistent one, huh? Always asking questions and commanding me about! Honestly, that really reminds me…Guhuh!? Ah, n..no one in particular…!”
Bond Lvl 4: “…Fine, fine…I’ll trust you with this, right? I’m really not from this world at all. Which world? Ahh, hungry for the knowledge I see. Alas, I can’t divulge that much… The World is already mad at me for being here, Ehehe~”
Bond Lvl 5: “…Ah, you remind me of all of them…Remi, Flan…Koa…Meiling..Sakuya, too. Don’t worry, Master. I, Patchouli Knowledge shall protect you with all I have…maybe someday, I’ll find a way to take you there.”
Dialogue 1: “Chaldea really is kind of amazing, huh? It’d be easy to get lost if I wasn’t so used to this kind of thing…”
Dialogue 2: “…Servants, huh…You don’t really see any of them as Servants, though, do you Master…?”
Dialogue 3: “Seriously, I’m fine! You don’t need to keep ask-” cough!?
Something You Like: “What do I like? Learning, I guess. I like to learn new things and see what there is to see. A new species, a new land, a new type of spell…Yes, there’s no greater joy than discovering something new.
Something You Hate: “…You know, I’m not fond of pushy magicians intent on disrupting my research. Like a drizzle upon a sunny day picnic…nothing ruins my mood quicker.”
About the Holy Grail: “The holy grail, huh…a Wish Granting cup…No, I’d never heard of it until recently. What kind of effects could it have if it was there, I wonder…”
If [Remilia Scarlet] is summoned: “Aaaah~ Sorry, ‘Master.’ If Remi is here, then I simply can’t call you ‘Master’ anymore...ehehe, just kidding. I’m sure she won’t mind, so long as I remmeber where my duties lie...with that said...If you and her ever contradict, just know that i’ll be on her side, alright?”
If [Flandre Scarlet] is summoned: “So dear, sweet Flandre was summoned here too? I see...Hey. Hey. Hey, Hey, Master. She’s a good girl, so treat her nicely, alright? I’ll...be here if things get out of hand (gulp)”
If [Sakuya Izayoi] is summoned: “Ah, yeah. That about makes sense. Since Remi was here, it was inevitable.”. Honestly, It wouldn’t surprise me if she wasn’t even summoned...if Remi’s here, she’ll find a way to arrive to serve her dutifully. That’s how dedicated she is. Kinda scary, honestly, mukyu...”
Birthday: “The day you were born, huh? I don’t remember mine but…eh…uh… H….Happy Birthday, Master! How’s that, you satisfied? Ehehehe~!”
#man this dialogue was good#here it is again#nyoho#it's good#i worked hard on it#nyahaha#Patchouli Knowledge: The Locked Girl of the Library
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