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sorryimananti-romantic · 2 months

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Hey bestie sooooo lots of stuff happened and there was an opportunity I was really hoping I was gonna get, and I didn’t. On top of that it went to the same favorite people that get everything every time and I’ve just been feeling really upset and everything so if you’ve got any mingi comfort that would be great. I could just really use a lil virtual hug rn 😅. There’s a bunch of other stuff that led up to this but now im just feeling really hopeless and wanting to give up on my major even though it’s my dream. I think I kinda need to just sit and wallow for a bit and I’ll be fine but if you got any fluff I could use all of it 😅🩷

aw babes i'm sorry to hear that 😭🫂 you and me both honestly really need a virtual hug (nah a real hug actually) and well, i hope you get much better things than what you were aiming for! we never know where the flow of life is gonna take us so hoping for the best for you, always 🩷 and i hope you fight for your dream too! if you want to talk about it, i'm here for you 🩷

a mingi comfort fluff though, who am i to deny you? ;)

there are times in your life when all you want to do is lay down on a bed and sink through it into the void

or lay down on soft grass and hope the ground swallows you

you put a weight over yourself in the form of your blanket- the only physical thing weighing you down among a bunch of other invisible things

but that isn't enough

the warmth of it, the softness of it, it isn't enough

everything is silent. you can hear the static background noise- that's how quiet it is

could this go on forever while you gather your pieces together?

could time stand still for you?

no.

it never will

you're being swallowed by a bunch of thoughts

i'm alone in this world

no one will understand me

everything is over

there's no going back from here

and a bunch of other negative phrases that are murky in your head, but there in all their mighty presence

it feels like everything you've worked for is crumbling down in front of your eyes

everything is going wrong, wrong- where did it all start to go wrong?

you can't quite put a finger to it

all you know is that you are overwhelmingly sad.

the emotion 'sad' didn't make much sense to you- you always thought it was associated with some other emotion or feeling- such as when you lose someone dear and it's associated with grief

but now... you think you're starting to understand a little what's it like to be just sad. the plain old sad

it springs a little sarcastic laugh out of you and you have to purse your lips to keep another awful sound from bubbling out of you

but this time, your ears detect the familiar sound of footsteps in the house and you wonder just how deep in your thoughts you were to miss the sound of the door unlocking

you don't move. you don't make an effort to. you just hope that he goes to take a shower first or starts cooking. you hope he doesn't realise you're home already

you hope you get a little time to yourself so he doesn't have to see you in this state-

but a knock sounds on the door anyway and his voice calls your name, his eyes probably searching the darkness

you hope that he misses your curled figure in the blankets, but he's far too observant for that

he doesn't turn on the lights. you feel the edge of your bed dip as he sits there

"you're not hiding from me... are you?"

it's mingi. you could cry just hearing his voice

"no... just tired. i'll be out in a few minutes."

he doesn't miss the crack in your voice either

"do you want me to give you some space, or do you want me to stay?"

there's one thing you love about mingi. he always asks you what you need

and he always gives you what you ask for

if it's space you need, he will gladly give you it because he realises the importance of personal space and just sorting your own mess yourself

he won't question you until you talk yourself but he will keep reminding you that he's here

he's perfect in that way

but if it's him you need... he'll drop everything to be with you too

he'll either just hold you in silence or mutter affirmations

and for the first time in a while, you don't know what you need

so you tell him exactly that

mingi sighs deeply and gets up. you wonder if he's going to leave so you check through the little gap in the blanket, your heart beating anxiously

but he only draws the curtains apart just a fraction so he can see better

and then he's back, crawling in the bed next to you and asking if he can get in the blanket with you

you allow it. you scoot a bit to give him some space and he positions the blankets so he can hold you in his arms as he lies down next to you

you're slower this time as you make way to him and he notices that too. so he simply just holds you for a while

and you let the tears flow and wet his sweatshirt. you will apologise later, but for now, you can't stop it

his hand caresses your back repeatedly in soft, circular motions. his other hand is holding yours and squeezing it affectionately

you don't know how long you stay like this but at some point, the tears stop flowing and you move a little to wipe your face

"sorry for being a mess," you laugh and he lets out a short chuckle himself

"you know it's perfectly fine with me," he assures you, planting a kiss on the top of your head. "feeling better?"

"a bit, yeah," you tell him. you take a few deep breaths

"what's wrong, love?"

"everything," you sigh. "everything's going wrong at the same time and it's too much, mingi."

mingi brings you back in a hug, this time stronger and a reminder that you're not alone

and you realise that yes- you may have been a little selfish when thinking that you were truly alone in this world

you have him

your constant source of strength, a pillar to lean on

someone who always nudges you in the right direction when you're lost

someone whose words of wisdom heal you

and someone who makes you laugh, especially when he's being goofy like now

"shall we take that little trip now? drop everything and run away?"

"oh, how i wish i could, but i can't run away from this," you sigh.

and just like that, you start talking. slowly, but gradually, you tell him the sequence of events

and he gives you the validation you need- that everything you're feeling right now... it's okay to feel that

he makes you sit in front of him and he holds your hands as you work everything out

he gives objective answers- he knows your strengths and weaknesses, and he suggests the best course

he also plans every possible direction things could go from here on out- something he's really good at

"and like i always say... it can only get better from here, right?"

"sure feels like an all time low, so... yeah?" you say.

"every time i think i'm at an all time low, life throws another one at me"

you laugh at that- he's relatable like this

"well... it can't get worse than this, maybe, yeah?"

"and even if something bad happens," mingi addresses the anxiety in your heart. "even if things don't go as planned and you have to give up something important, you should remember that you're a strong person who can get through this."

you nod, letting his words sink in

"i'm here for you, yes," he says, "but i'm only a guide and emotional support, yeah? whatever you do, it's all you. and you're incredible and amazing. you will get through this. i'm proud of every decision you will make moving forwards. i believe in you, love."

it's all you need to hear and a few tears spill again, but you smile through them as you look at mingi, the dark strands falling over his forehead, his eyes warm

mingi, the person who makes you stand on your own two feet time and time again

mingi, who makes you realise that you can face anything in this world on your own

and mingi, who'll be there when you return from your battles. who'll patch you up, kiss your head and hug you

just like he hugs you now, all warmth and love

he brings you outside so you can eat dinner and it gets better

you don't feel like you're drowning anymore

you're not out of that surface, no, but it's a whole lot better for sure

he talks to you and you address other things in between jokes and kisses exchanged

and when it's time for bed, he holds you, preparing you for tomorrow

it will be okay

you will be okay.

#i feel like i could have written more but this just flowed in one sitting so here it is :')#and after writing it i realised i needed this just as much as you :')#i hope this helps you in some way <33 #here's to hoping we get thru it!#mingi x reader #mingi fluff #ateez scenarios #ateez headcanons #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #song mingi #mingi #marian <3 #yumi.asks

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stillfrownyclownlol · 4 months

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Disclaimer: please please please please please please please please please please please please please please don't read this.

Actual disclaimer: CW/TW for abusive/toxic relationships and most of the things they entail. Mentions of mental, physical, and financial abuse. If you don't like any of that stuff, PLEASE don't read this.

Also, this is long. Idk...I think about toxic ships a lot 🫠

Most of these are just reflections of the characters themselves but there's some stuff in here from my last relationship.

Just to clarify, I don't see the characters as this bad, this is just for fun/venting purposes, I'm not condoning this behavior irl... It's just some thoughts I had about some of their toxic behaviors and if they were already older. I'm not saying any of them would do this in canon 🤡👍🏽 Unless their morals dropped dramatically for some reason idk

(I was groomed at age 11-12 by somebody 12 years older than me for 6 years so I think I have some experience in the toxic relationship department lol)

Aidlyn relationship HCs if they were even more of a hot mess wowie

-Most of these are just like. Red flags they have that have been amplified to the max. Like how I say Aiden getting Ash expensive gifts isn't necessarily a bad thing, but here it reaches a toxic level. Like Aiden getting Ash things so expensive she can't hope to pay him back, or things that have to do with her livelihood (a car, renting an apartment, etc etc). Then he'll be like guilt tripping her that they spent all this money on you when she literally didn't ask bro. Wants to scream at him to take it back but like...she needs it tho so she's gonna shut up...

-Its really easy to make Aiden toxic cuz like he already has some behavioural problems haha 🫠

-Lowkey Ash is the type to rip Aiden a new one when her patience snaps. She has so much she wants to get into (pushing her boundaries, being an idiot, giving her a heart attack from stress, "ruining her life" if she's really over everything)

-He would threaten or actually go through with SH for her attention 🫠 pain doesn't really mean anything for him, it hurts worse when she leaves anyways... (SO glad I'm over that)

-She ignores/avoids him for long periods of time without actually telling him what's wrong because fuck it communicating is hard and like why even bother because she thinks he won't listen anyways (GIRL you have to ACTUALLY say smth)

-But I mean who can blame her cuz Aiden is real into that toxic positivity crap and likes to ignore all the problems in the relationship and tells everybody that everything is great (she does too don't worry) (worry.)

-Shes a bit of a hypocrite sometimes cuz she likes to ignore Aiden when he's getting on her nerves but she can't take it if HE'S ignoring her for once. She says she's just suspicious of what he's doing but. You know. Not that he would leave her but like if he did try she would. Not take it very well?? Aiden would be impressed.

-he's kind of. Weird. I don't really know how to explain it he just has like. A Weird Aura. Around her especially. Says weird things, sometimes inappropriate or threatening. But Ash literally feels like she's going crazy because he's ALWAYS like that so she can't tell that it's not normal or if he's just. Weird.

-They're the kind of couple to bruise each other's wrists ♥️ /sarcasm

-He'll push her boundaries and ignore her a lot because like he doesn't understand that she's being serious and that not everybody likes the things he likes. Grabs and touches and holds her a lot even when she doesn't want him too. Sometimes she goes along tho because she thinks it's not normal to dislike touching in a relationship or that she just needs to put in more effort (I'm projecting so hard rn) Also thanks to my bestie for this one! She's so smart

-Both possessive and overprotective little freaks. I feel like Ash would kill somebody for him and then she'd just fucking spiral and have a mental breakdown and the love-hate relationship would get worse, and if Aiden did it he'd just be "lol. Lmao."

-Loss of identity and self for both of them. Aiden has that disciple complex and his life pretty much revolves around Ash. Ash feels like she fell down a rabbit hole....

-he has no sense of consequences, his self destructive behaviors would be WAY worse here and can include Ash at the same time (like going over the speed limit while they're both in the car)

-but also she like lowkey enables his behavior because she knows that to stop it she'd have to leave him and she doesn't want to be without him. She definitely excuses his behavior to other people even tho she'll get on his ass about it-

-bit stalkerish and follows her around, she knows he's doing it tho- but yeah he won't leave her alone most of the time 🫠

-She goes into nervous breakdowns. Starts throwing stuff at him and when he gets closer she'll hit him, and he just holds her until she tires herself out.

-Oh man, he's pretty much addicted to her. She saved him, breathed life into his existence, made him feel alive for the first time in years, and what a euphoric feeling that is for him.

-Ash feels like she has to walk on eggshells around him because she doesn't understand what sets him off. She's generally more worried about him doing something to other people or himself than her own safety tho.

-They're really awful for each other but like. There's really nobody else for them, they just have to not get other people involved in the forest fire that is their relationship (The rest of the gang: 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️)

-Aiden and Ash: *literally just standing next to each other*

Aiden: *Looks at Ash*

Ash: ...?

Aiden: *Predator instinct* :) *Bites her cheek*

Ash: !!! MOTHERFU-

That's the relationship basically.

#sbg #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg (webtoon)#aiden clark #ashlyn banner #aidlyn #aiden x ashlyn #*jumps out window*#dont kill me #gonna go puke

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eletaniaaa · 4 months

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I want to do some kind of year in review. 1) I am far too chaotic for any sort of organized template. These are some of my favorite screenshots I've taken this year. I know I'll never get a ton of notes on what I post, but they've brought me joy. (On the subject of notes, the two most popular posts I've made since I joined tumblr are the most low effort trash and they don't bring me joy, but that ironically does make me laugh.)

Beginning of the year I made an unofficial decision (compulsion?) to focus on my fav OC, my sith inquisitor from swtor. It's become kind of a project seeing where I can stick her. She inspired me to write more, first with swtor then cyberpunk, which is partially why I became so attached. That and I put a lot of myself in her. I will say I have uhhh a weird relationship with my asian heritage? I ended up deleting Ixaphia 1.0 at some point because she reminded me too much of my mom (it was the hair, that hair had to go!) Not to get too real on main, but I think she might have helped me unpack some stuff I didn't even realize were a thing.

For 2024 I'd like to overcome the feeling that I'm wasting my time here posting my little pictures like a sad racoon who is too lazy to make gifs. It's a weird struggle of wanting to share and talk to people but also not wanting to put even the most vague personal details out there. See me, but do not perceive me. It's going great!

As for writing this year, I write sporadically, usually when blorbo thoughts threaten to start leaking out of my ears if I don't get it out. It's not something I share but @meonlyred has been subjected to the p o rn, bc what are friends for. I'm sorry and/or you're welcome. Not ready to put that into the void, but I will throw up the first few paragraphs I ever wrote for my Viktor Vektor fic in hopes that 2024 I actually finish the thing.

Jackie walked over to the punching bag Vik had hanging in the corner of his basement clinic and bounced back and forth giving it a few casual jabs. The man was a hulking fridge of perpetual energy. He sauntered over to some knick-knacks on a shelf and began rearranging them.

“I'm telling you Vik, she won't admit it, but V is sweet on you. I can tell.”

Viktor didn't look up from the equipment he was cleaning. The basic tools of every NC ripperdoc, plus a few he had custom modified for himself. Half the appeal of working back-alley was doing the job better than the corpo wage slaves tied down by miles of red tape. Besides the tiny tremor in his hand, a little souvenir from his boxing days had washed him out of the possibility of trauma team--even if it could be mitigated.

“Nonsense, Viky. You'd be good together! Me and Misty and you two, think of the double dates. Basically what we do already, just make it official-like.”

This time Viktor did stop what he was doing and looked up at his friend over the glasses half-slid down his nose. He took them off and rubbed his temple.

“Jackie--”

He was mercifully interrupted by the metallic clank of the door, before he found himself having to explain yet again why him and V were a bad idea.

“Sorry, Jack. Got an appointment. Still on for tonight? Malone v Hernandez. Fridge is stocked.”

“V will be there too, yeah?”

At the look Viktor shot his way he held his hands up in concession. “Okay, okay. I'll see you tonight. But think about what I said!”

#ele texts

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lincolndjarin · 8 months

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500 followers celebration !!

omg my lovelies thank you so much !! :,)

shoutout to my mom who was my 500th follower lmao, I sadly can't do anything super crazy for this milestone bc i'm sick and also a little swamped with writing stuff rn as is but I still wanted to say thank you nonetheless by offering up one of the several projects i haven't been able to get to but have been excited for, so i can't promise when i'll get to this but hopefully by next month!!

so vote on what y'all want and that will be what i do!!

can't say thank you enough for the constant support it means the world to me, this community has been extremely welcoming to me and i love writing and it's just so nice to know that people enjoy things that i put a lot of thought and effort into. i hope everyone has a wonderful night and thank you again ♡

here are the options !!

Bound In Beskar - One Off :

a one off based on the book that princess reads in bks 20 !!

2. Psychological Horror Miniseries:

3-4 short stories in the vein of psychological horror based on different pedro characters

3. Brahms!Din Au :

probably around 3 parts, the boy au where din is a masked brahms heelshire type character

4. BKS Reimagined :

if anyones into twilight, this would basically be a one off version of life and death. a rewrite of the first few chapters of best kept secret in an au where din is royalty and reader is charged with keeping an eye on him

also face reveal under the cut :)

so uhh i guess there is my face idk what to say here LMAO other then that there's a deoderant stain on my bra but i don't feel like taking another pic

･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

#lincolndjarin #500 follower celebration #!!!#luv yall

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welcometogrouchland · 1 year

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not only is darimila HYSTERICALLY funny as a crackship i think camila deserves a nice peacock of a boyfriend. i want her to show a photo of him at work and his coworkers are too busy wondering if this guy is an actor or a model or what to wonder about the ears or the goo hair. can you imagine darius helping the nocedas with groceries high heels and green eyeliner and god knows what else. MAN.

Firstly I love that this ask implies that Darius puts 0 effort into concealing his identity as a witch when he's in the human realm. This man is fully willing to expose magic and the demon realm in the town famous for producing a crackpot genocidal witch hunter everyone hates IF. and only if he can look fabulous doing it

I'm also on team Camila Deserves Nice Things anon, though I do differ on the details slightly, mainly because I'm sooooo enchanted by the Darius and Camila fake dating scenario I've cooked up in my brain. It both appeases the part of me that adheres to canon characterization of Camila as a woman who still, years later, has boxes of Manny's stuff lying around the house, yet to be put away, bc realistically she did not get proper space to mourn him when he died and she is not ready to move on...AND the part of me that, like you, wants Camilla's coworkers to see a picture of Darius and LOSE THEIR MINDS. HELLO??? THIS IS THE BAD BITCH SHE PULLED BY BEING AUTISTIC??? FR???????

And then I'm unsure whether or not I prefer Darius with romantic feelings for Camila? On the one hand I think, in the beautiful timeline where I actually wrote this, I'd prefer to have it come down on the side of "Darius and Camila are Good Friends who bond over how terrifying being a new(ly), single parent is"

and Hunter has to grapple with the fact that no, his family is not and never will be "normal" according to societies standards, and he cannot parent trap his parents into loving each other, but that doesn't make his family structure any worse off than something closer to a nuclear family.

Also I'd squeeze some juicy character exploration out of Luz bc she is SO not over her dad's death. She tries to downplay it and act like she is but she is not and it's very very clear in TTT. But she also wants her mom to be happy more than anything. And she loves love! And it'd make hunter happy! So she's just. Sitting there with gritted teeth trying not to get upset at the idea of Darius and her mom actually getting together and being happy.

But, tragically, I can't guarantee I'll ever fully write this out (though I fully encourage ppl to run with the idea if they like it. Please run with it I can't be the only one who's thought of this before) so I give myself a little more room to be silly and I say that. Darius is a person with a lot of walls up who likes pretending to be cool as a method of distancing himself from ppl, and I'd love to watch those walls get eroded by the overly sincere and silly sci-fi nerds that are his son-figure and his crush, who are also mother and son. Also I love the idea of Darius being a man in his forties with a crush. Yes!! Get more pathetic!!! Raeda is cowering rn!!!!!

IN CONCLUSION: I love you anon, I should really make SOMETHING based on the Darius Camila fake dating scenario, but if I don't, let this rambling serve as a testament to the GRIP it has on my brain

#ramblings of a lunatic #the owl house #toh #darimila #camila noceda #darius deamonne #the more i joke abt this ship the less ironic it becomes and I'm scared. don't do this to me #it's fine they can polycule it up with raine and eda /j #throw alador and perry in there too. watch everyone on the hexsquad slowly become related to each other. except willow. rip #ALSO i didn't proofread this bc it's very late </3 wish me luck that this is still comprehensible by morning

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dupliciti · 2 months

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KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER.

repost, do not reblog this

NAME: rath, debating on switching alias to terios

PRONOUNS : she/they

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : discord 100%. i do not just use mine for rp so i don't really mind if from the get go we exchange usernames for it. will be okay chatting in IMs as long as the messages aren't too long since they're a mess to read sometimes

NAME OF MUSE(s) : sampo

BEST EXPERIENCE : honestly this has been my best time. i'm not in school so i don't gotta worry about that and i've made friends with some chill people and also enjoy seeing all my mutuals. i get to talk about sampo in this void it's great asjkdgh uh which i mean is half of the reason i made a blog in the first place, i needed to put my hcs and thoughts into something! and the fact that people are receptive and in turn will write with my sampo is all i could ask for

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : ship collecting. i don't want to feel like you're following me just to ship with me because i'm not into that and sampo in particular is difficult. i do not mind talking about ship potential, but if you're just following and opening up with shipping.. nope

assuming something about my muse, like something personality or motive wise i mean. sure, he's a canon character, but i have thoughts on literally every little thing in the game regarding him. analysis... headcanons... they all have their place and build upon my understanding. this is basically the only muse i write atm so i have the time to spend like this on him and it means a lot to me when people observe my flavor of sampo in the light i've tried to put him in. the same would apply to any other muses i write

ghosting. i've had this issue a couple times already within this rpc which... it's whatever. but idk, i feel like if you've made me put effort into communicating with you and you just take off after gradually putting me in limbo with you or giving weird responses... it's off-putting and makes me feel as if i've wasted my time. what i’m talking about in particular has always resulted in the other person blocking me without a word so yeah. that’s what i mean by that. outside of this context, softblock or hardblock me, no hard feelings.

not cutting posts? i can't think of anything else super pressing

MUSE PREFERENCES: i'm trying to think of the types i've written and it's usually similar to sampo in some manner? so dabbles in crime, mysterious background, hard to trust, doesn't trust others. mostly that stuff??? i think nate drake is the only example of me attempting to write one of my fave character types? which would be golden retriever-esque (but he still does illegal things sooo) but i usually don't end up writing them fsr outside of that asdjkgh

PLOTS OR MEMES : plotting is preferred and accepted for anything. uh memes are fine? sometimes i just get overwhelmed with getting a lot of prompts... like rn.... lol

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : i prefer a happy medium especially if we have multiple threads. you could write me a one liner and the shortest i might go is a paragraph, so yeah. longer stuff will take me a bit to respond to but sometimes shorter stuff i struggle with if we haven't been plotting idk asdjkgh i prefer writing a couple paragraphs personally

BEST TIME TO WRITE : i am realizing i have more energy in the mornings for writing but i usually don't wake up early enough on work days. evenings are great, nights not so much. after an 11 hour work day i'm typically drained.. it sucks bc that's when i have the most free time

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : no not at all LMAO, he's v much the opposite of me in every way possible... well. i don't really trust people easily so maybe that?

Tagged by: i seen many do this, i steal

Tagging: @aventvrina, @crimsonbesotted, @deathsmaidens, @defiedlife, @voidfragments, @sagnaevi, @iiryoku, and whoever wanna !

#( dash game; )#( ◇ ᵐʸ ᵈᵉᵃʳ ᵃᵘᵈⁱᵉⁿᶜᵉ┊ ooc; )#long post

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rontra · 1 year

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Pls tell us more about ur summer/salem rare pair cuz I'm so interested

ok ok stupid ass post incoming its also at least a couple thousand words long so be warned

like i CAN yes, but it'll be rambling and inconveniently longwinded!

this is because my thoughts on this and the context for the pictures i drew actually hinges on a bunch of rwby analysis that has to be established First for any of my conclusions to make sense. i actually thought about making a comic about them to lay this stuff out in a more convenient format…maybe i will do it, but until then, umm. i'm sorry about this level 9000 nerd wizard post. it's the autism and passion for women kissing (the 2 reasons behind everything i do)

as an aside before i lose my lucidity, i'm not claiming the stuff i'm about to set up is 100% absolutely indisputably true and if you disagree you're wrong. it's just sort of my interpretation of a bunch of different stuff. it's fine if you disagree or have your own reading! but for the purposes of this specific content we're discussing, in the context of the women kissing AU if you will, these are presupposed "truths" . idc if you think i'm wrong as hell in real life! but in the world of the pictures i drew/my feelings on this ship, this is the list of Things That Must Be True.

(the salem/summer torment nexus is built on a bunch of overthinking rwby and then a little bit of lesbian high romance, so we do reach a point where we finally veer off from "analyzing rwby" and into "and that is why women kissing women", but that is, all i can do . because just putting down the "here's why they should kiss" conclusion makes me sound insane. so before we go into why they should kiss in the way i've depicted, here are some points that must first be true)

Summer is alive and well, and

Summer is Salem's unseen lieutenant at Beacon, and is working for her by her own free will, because

Salem is right (caveats about being evil rn notwithstanding) and

Remnant treats them in similar ways, for opposite purposes (thus in the women kissing women world, they are not only women who should kiss, but foils who should kiss: a far more powerful gameplay unit that inflicts a Brainrot DoT on its target (me))

i'm not going to be completely thorough here: i'm omitting anything that doesn't feel immediately important to understanding me, so if it feels like i skipped something, i definitely did. please bear with me bc this post's existence is already hilarious. the omissions probably aren't me missing things (depending on what it is) i'm just genuinely trying not to get derailed by factoring in every nuance and perspective (which rwby has, A Lot, of,). do not tweet at me

1 and 2 are almost self-explanatory, so they're quick: scenes about summer are nigh-universally conspicuous in how they talk about her, and there are too many questions raised about her/her fate that only she (and salem) could answer. her just being dead is too straightforward for all this effort, so something else is surely going on. in v8, the "Hound Summer" idea is raised, but i don't think they would let a character onscreen spill the beans ahead of time if it was actually the truth. (additionally, salem herself describes the hound as "an experiment", indicating there isn't like a bunch of them running around or anything...)

HOWEVER, letting ruby draw the "hound summer" conclusion on screen leads me to believe the actual truth is not FAR away: it'll be a knife-twist on what ruby said. the More Harrowing version of "my mom is alive but a tool for salem against her will" feels like it's naturally "my mom is alive and working for salem on purpose".

for 2, salem has an additional lieutenant that we have not been shown; being at beacon working on the Beacon Relic Puzzle ever since the Fall. we see salem contacting this agent to give them verbal instructions over the grimmphone, which is…not typically how she directs grimm, suggesting it is a person. we aren't privy to any further information about this person except their station being Beacon, which…i hate to say it but that's a "dramatically seeing summer rose alive" ass place….

the REASON for summer being salem's lieutenant as opposed to A) dead, B) a tool, C) a double agent, D) literally anything else, is because of 3 and 4.

this is where things are gonna get really cringe and potentially deranged but i need you to stay with me. let's go in order and focus on 3 first: salem is right.

saying this will cause some immediate pushback from some people, but to those people, please set that gut reaction aside for now and play in the space with me; i'm not saying that her current plan of action is like, nice, or Good, but i'm saying she is ideologically the one in the right. like Thematically. it took a lot of work for the world to make her be evil (across quite literally millions of years, potentially hundreds of millions) and now she's like "fine i'm about to be hilarious", but in the fundamental conflict rwby is about, she hasn't stopped being RIGHT.

just before this, someone on twitter asked me what i think salem's goal is, because a lot of people jump to assuming it's planet-destroying stuff; i had to make it a twitlonger just to answer them because (in case it wasnt obvious already) im head FULL thoughts SALEM mouth RAMBLING. instead of spending time and wordcount rehashing all of that i'll just relink it here because all of it is important to THIS discussion too: http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1ss7lck

You Have To Read That Post Because I Won't Re-Type It. But It Is Important For This Post. TM.

ok. you're back? hi. sorry about that. let's continue

okay so we have the "disquietingly genocidal if carried out to its natural conclusion, which is that we should surrender ourselves to the complete custody of the World Destroyer" guy, and the "humanity inherently has a right to exist and doesn't need babysitting from someone who believes otherwise" guy. One of these sides is currently in control of remnant. and it's not the one you'd hope! and it's not the one the show agrees with.

(sidenote before it's too late I should clarify i have a Lot of thoughts about ozma's side of all this and like i said rwby is incredibly rich when you begin to mine for nuance and in-universe perspectives; i love that guy to bits and pieces. there are a lot of angles to this dangle. it's just that neither the twitlonger nor this post is About Him, so if it sounds like im dismissing his own nightmare situation i'm NOT im just not posting About Him Right Now. love you oz sorry you're also in the bullshit swamp etc amen)

i mention this very briefly in the twitlonger, but ozma has a vested interest in A) wiping salem from history/humanity's knowledge, and B) making sure the people who DO know about her see her as completely incapable of being reasoned with, the source of all evil, and so on. he's been pretty aggressive in these efforts, successfully paring salem's perpetual existence in remnant down to a spectrum ranging from "i have never heard of this woman in my life" to "exaggerated fairytale image that can be safely ignored" and maybe like "scary witch story to keep kids from wandering into the woods (FAKE, NOT REAL)". and to his circle, she's evil incarnate, and nothing more—still the fairytale witch, just an actual threat this time.

there seems to be a belief among some of the characters in the show that if you stop salem, you win; you've Fixed The Problem. in this way of thinking, salem is the one thing holding remnant back from being Normal And Good. she is the single cog not turning in time with the rest of remnant, and she is Fucking Up The Machine For Everybody. obviously this is a very simple and easy way of looking at her, and it is also desperately encouraged by ozma's version of the story. for his story to work, salem MUST be the source of all evil, the well it all springs from, the clear villain who's behind every bit of suffering and wants to destroy humanity; if she is NOT, his own comprehension of his trauma falls apart, his life's work and mission loses meaning, and the world he's built on them falls apart too.

(unfortunately, you cannot fix a dysfunctional world by destroying a single woman (no matter how much some certain gods try to tell you otherwise) if the dysfunction is systemic and foundational the way remnant's is)

with that in mind, summer rose (aw hey girl i forgot you were in this post) seems like a pretty stark opposite to her. but i would like to argue the…opposite. opposite double reacharound combo: They Are The Same edition. aka 4

okay, so, another facet of ozma's ideology that goes pretty visibly hand in hand with his own baggage (rip) is the fixation on this, idea of, a Hero. a Guardian. a "simple soul". specifically, he tends to nominate a Lone Hero, who must shoulder an unfathomable burden—usually a secret one—with little to no support (because they cannot share the burden). and this is, demonstrably and in no uncertain terms, a practice that breaks heroes.

(without getting too distracted: this is pretty obviously what was also done to HIM, and ozma continuing this pattern is not surprising with that fact in mind; i do sympathize. but girl…<3 you are crafting the crux of an insane post on rontra.tumblr.com and you dont even know it)

the Lone Hero is perfect. they fight alone, carrying humanity's light, and when they die they do so heroically, righteously, bravely. they are a symbol, praised and exalted even into their own deaths. their torch doesn't burn for long, but it's beloved whilst it does! the superhero dies young, but dies well.

this idea is a motif that recurs in rwby; all four Maidens are historically isolated, working alone, their very existence a secret except for when they swoop in to save the day. Huntsmen can become Lone Heroes if they're exemplary or unlucky enough. it was done to Pyrrha on-screen, by backing her into a corner and nominating her for an unfathomable burden she could not possibly refuse—and it lead to her death, alone, in a fight she knew she could not win.

of course, it also intersects with the Silver-eyed Warriors, who are (like Maidens) secret and largely isolated, but (especially when combined with being Huntsmen) make extremely powerful Lone Heroes. THERE'S our girl we've been waiting for! summer came out of the extremely notable team STRQ, and she's got silver eyes; with her pedigree we've got another legendary Grimm Reaper on our hands!

ha ha…

the weight must be crushing.

i can't say for sure why summer left; maybe she really thought going in guns blazing could finish this. maybe she had encountered a piece of information that alarmed her, or even seemed to corroborate something Raven tried to tell her team years prior. maybe it was something else that drove her to take the fight to salem on a solo mission. maybe being a Hero from a broken team just does that to your brain. we don't know yet! but she went out alone and she met up with salem.

this was never going to work, and not ONLY because salem can't be killed: it's doomed because rwby, the show, does not give praise to self-sacrifice. it is opposed to the very idea of the Lone Hero. when characters break the buddy system and face the bullshit alone, they usually don't get out unscathed, and usually don't succeed in accomplishing much of note. if anything at all, they usually attain something temporary or minor that isn't at all worth the sacrifice they made. because how can anything be worth that? rwby so far is pretty against the idea of both a lone hero and of "good death"; you can't die heroically, because you only ever die tragically.

but the Hero, Lone or otherwise, is needed. it's a twisted hope, but it is hope: there are people, real heroes, who will do anything to save us; including die, over and over and over and over and over again. remnant runs on hero blood. the academies are major arteries that pump out more of it, and even while you're at an academy you're not in the clear, because the students are included as a layer of protection around the relic. if something comes for the school, you are intended to die for it.

Like it or not, the people that hired me are going to change the world! You can't stop 'em, I can't stop 'em! You wanna be a hero? Then play the part and die like every other Huntsman in history!

and the selected Lone Heroes, even more so, are intended to die fighting an unwinnable fight, bearing unfathomable burdens. proverbially speaking, it keeps the lights on: keeps the fight going. keeps humanity from losing its grip on faith. and it completely robs each Hero of their humanity.

this kind of hero is not human: it's romantic like a fairytale and reduces a human being to a symbol. one of hope, sure, but a symbol nonetheless. the perfect hero isn't permitted to doubt or fear or hesitate. they're something distant, something else, something beyond humanity, something conceptual. and THIS, (points at it) is BAD

but it is the other side of the coin. the Lone Hero who represents all of humanity's hope has a natural obverse: the Sole Evil responsible for all of the world's darkness. the Single Enemy who springs forth all the things the Single Light stands against. these two concepts together pull an astonishing amount of the weight to make ozma's ideology function. without them, the wheels do not turn.

it's important how successfully ozma has eradicated salem's humanity and cast her as a force of blind evil. you can't reason with her, it's futile to try… but we know that salem may be very fucked up indeed to people, but she's also plenty willing to talk; essentially the only reason no one even thinks to try it is because her carefully designed reputation precedes her. the ruling world ideology prominently features the bastions of humanity, the bulwark against evil, the Lone Hero figure; the Guardian…and it hinges almost entirely upon the Sole Evil of salem, who can't be reasoned with but must be destroyed, even though the war against her is eternal, impossible, unsustainable.

by design, neither one is permitted any humanity at all.

Summer Rose and Salem are both ideological work-horses. in the world of remnant, neither of them can retain their humanity: they are conceptual existences that pull ozma's world through the motions, step by agonizing step. they are both yoked to the same plough.

if those two TALKED—and salem is very much willing to talk—i think a lone hero with a passion for humanity and way too much skin in the game would be repulsed by the system she lives in. she would recognize that she (and huntsmen as a broader institution) would be in the Wrong to support ozma—and by extension the gods, who look at humanity as a thing to be corralled and punished, something that must actively justify its own right to exist—

—that she's got two kids in this world, and she suddenly hopes to high heaven that they never get pulled into the same cannon fodder machine that created the Guardian summer rose, who bleeds and bleeds so that all humanity can cling to a hope that is bound to be false because the arbiters of their worth do not find them inherently worthy of life—

But, baby, please don't do what I did; I don't want you to waste your life in vain.

the reason women should kiss is that there is a mutual understanding that they are both beasts of burden to this world: two less-than-human icons, unpersoned on purpose, merely representing a concept. they perform roles in a narrative written by somebody else. they are not human! they are bearing unimaginable weight in service of an idea!

and they don't want to see humanity's fate be shackled to that idea for a moment longer.

i think when i say summer/salem most people think im trying to conjure like a dark spicy image full of like, power and control, and tension, and stuff. and there's nothing wrong with those, i do make a lot of those. but in reality im picturing the most tender secret in all of remnant. could you imagine?

...they are both yoked to ozma's ideology in these weird twisted ways so theres a lot of understanding and sympathy there, even if their Functions are different. opposite even. perhaps like foils one could say...

it's a ship built on that kind of understanding. the theme tying it together is that grueling dehumanization and the tenderness of seeing that you're both human to the core regardless. remnant yearns to grind them both up, one in service of the other, for a horrifically cruel ideal they can't just lie down and surrender to. humanity deserves better. so do they.

salem is right. summer rose knows it.

in the pictures i made, there's a protective angle to their poses and interactions: sort of a knightly, HER Warrior, type thing. "NOT YOUR SACRIFICE". etc. i guess salem is a lady with a tendency to attract the heroic knightly type (rimshot)

and that's why summer and salem should kiss. i dont know. i know im the one that locked you in this room but we should get out of here before i transform like a werewolf. wanna listen to Until The End in the car?

to live free or die, it’s all the same the enemy was right, there’s no reclaiming in waves of shame, we’re desperate to make amends but through a simple soul we lie complacent.

awoo...

#what have i done. sweet jesus what have i done.#mlem

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divorcingjimmatthews · 11 months

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Do think you can make more fanfics of Kenny and or jade your like the only person who actually writes for characters in the show (from) and I feel like they just need so much more love 💕🥲 I literally love your account and all the theories

dhsjdhshd thank you so much for sending this ask !! they DO need so much more love both in-universe and out... specially kenny rn. jade is somehow kind of making friends... we can be proud of him. kind of <3 im so glad you like my account i'm always so worried about spamming but my heart is so full rn 🥺💝

i'm definitely gonna be writing more for them! i have an embarrassing amount of drafts i should probably polish up a bit and post. here's some headcanons in the meantime

kenny and jade: where they take you on a date 🥂🎆

jade

out of fromville

he looves to flaunt his wealth and is a child at heart so on your first dates he'd probably take you to places that are both expensive and fun like a hot air balloon ride or a premium pass visit to a theme park, bonus points if there's tech toys involved like those star wars spaceship simulator VR pods, or idk, racecars

also!!! escape rooms

sometimes tobey tags along because the stuff is fun and you just have to deal with that. he does make sure leave you some alone time though

on your 4th or 5th date you ask him if you can just hang out at home and he looks heartbroken like you don't like our dates?? jade i'm just exhausted

he kind of has a difficult time accepting that you like him enough to want to just spend the day with him, but he's pretty touched when it sinks in that you do

you order some food, curl up on the couch and binge some tv show or movie series that either of you likes, it could be some old favourite or something that's been sitting on your to-watch list for a while. i just know that jade is a jurassic park kind of guy and no one can change my mind

all the time he's just thinking how nice and natural it all feels and how easily he could get used to having you around more often <3

in the town

he would talk a lot about where he wants to take you when you get out, but if confronted with the thought of going on a date while in there, he'd be like—what the hell do you mean, there's nothing to do in here

you tease him a little bit like come on, where's that imagination you keep talking about? be creative. you'll come up with something for sure

now it's a challenge. and he tries. he really tries. but nothing feels impressive or datey enough, considering where he'd like to take you if he could

you ask him to see the notebook he's been writing (and sketching) the ideas on and you can't help but laugh. jade, literally a picnic would've been just fine

but you make sure to show him how touched you are that he was putting so much effort into trying to make something really special for you. he gets lots of love and many hugs and kisses as a reward <3

kenny

out of fromville

kenny loves café and museum dates, though he'd be a bit worried that he's not smart enough to impress you if you go to a museum. he just really likes going because all the stuff is cool, but he's not one of those guys that can tell you more than the guide on any given tour. he might try to prepare and do a bit of research beforehand to try to show off though :)

it's very easy to tell that he didn't just happen to know all that stuff, but nonetheless it's incredibly cute

bonus points if you are the kind of person that can tell you more than the guide on any given tour. you'd have to correct him on some stuff. he'd be a bit embarrassed but his crush on you would only get bigger and bigger with that

if he wants to go for something a bit bigger or special he might ask if you want to book one of those weekends that you can spend at an apple orchard or a pumkin farm in the fall, it would be really sweet and he'd take the cutest pics of you <3

in town

his go-to would be a picnic in the nicest patch of woods that he can find. it's an easy choice because he's big on picnics in general, no matter where you are

he would pick some flowers for you and do his best to help you feel at ease. if you're new, you may be a bit worried about straying from the town even just a little bit, but he knows the place really well and he'd reassure you that the woods are safe as long as the sun is out

it'd be worth it when the knowledge of where you are begins to fade away. once you can no longer see colony house or the town, you start feeling like you could be on a normal hike, and that feels really nice

kenny would have changed out of his deputy uniform and into his nicest clothes for this and your heart would have nearly jumped out of your chest when you saw him looking like that for the first time <3<3

#epix from #from epix #from mgm #jade herrera x reader #kenny liu x reader

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drewsaturday · 4 months

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i've had such a weird relationship with making fanon things lately for a few diff reasons i think.

i haven't rly been inspired enough to take things beyond my thoughts and make an actual thing out of them. part of this is probs bc of my medication. the other part is that...

i don't have the time to dig too deeply into my favorite things rn. this means i don't dig up new parts to feel excited about, i don't feel Qualified to carry those ideas out bc my understanding of the source material is so limited and people expect waaaay too much quality from fanworks these days, and i feel like i'll never be able to finish what i start anyway.

lastly, i've been doing fandom so repetitively i'm just... tired? of the same thing over and over again. i work on a thing, i polish the thing, i post the thing, i wait for feedback that is either nice/mean/empty, rinse and repeat. the solution would be to just not post these things, but why go through all that effort to carry something up out of an idea stage then since that's what makes me most excited? and if i spend the time drafting, it feels like a waste of time since it's not going to go anywhere.

i do think a lot of this is medication, because it dulls Just how insane i am capable of getting about a thing. in the past i would have sooo much drive because i felt like if i didn't make a thing, i'd explode. i don't rly get that anymore, at least not in a big enough burst to keep me working on things very long.

i've instead been thinking a lot about diving into original content because... although i make everything for fun, i think original stuff has way less of the above issues attached.

there's no time limit. i'm not... "competing" for being able to get an idea done first, or trying to get a fanfic out while there's still hype over a show, or worrying about my work being ooc compared to someone else's, or worrying the fandom landscape i vibe with is going to change when people move on.

it's theoretically not as repetitive. i'm sure the things i'm interested in shows are similar to what i come up with from my brain, and i could just try to make different things for fandom than i'm used to. but i am kind of tired of my inability to do anything besides hurt/comfort oneshots for the same kind of pairing over and over again. this would force me to actually develop other shit too lmfao.

it's Technically something i could profit off of if i really wanted to, making it less of a waste of time. for fandom, it feels like a waste of time if i'm not putting a fanon thing out for other fans to see. it also feels like i put a ton of work into my own little understanding of a show--fleshing out backstories and worldbuilding etc. so if i move onto another fandom... it feels like it was all for nothing, esp if i don't make something from it all. ideally i would be doing it just for the fun but there needs to be some balance with what i consider pay-off. and since i usually don't stay motivated long enough to do these big huge projects, or people move on, or other people do the idea first because i work so slow, it's just gotten rly un-motivating.

there's like, layers of motivation imo. i like a thing and i get excitement about making stuff for it and exploring certain parts of it. and i can do that for myself, but to make it stand on its own enough to post for other people to see isn't something i currently get enough motivation for. and because of that, it makes the fun part feel like a waste of time i guess.

i usually stay away from my own original stuff bc i honestly just don't feel the level of excitement with it as i have felt with fandom in the past, and... it's just harder lmao? but i think it would be good for me to at least fuck around with it.

fandom started as a vessel for creativity for me. i wanted to make videos, it gave me footage. i wanted to draw, it gave me designs for characters. i wanted to write, it gave me a sandbox to play in. and i still find those things fun, but i guess it just feels like i'm limiting myself by only playing with other people's dolls in a public park for all to see. like i'm just not as connected to the Making part as a hobby or to the parts of myself i would put into it.

idk, i am just rambling and i think honestly if i Did have more time it would help take a lot of the above pressures and risks away and balance me out so that making silly little fanfics sometimes would feel more worth it because i'd feel free to do other things as well.

i also do sort of get glued to the screen when i'm in mode of making and posting things and i'd like to uhhh. do other things with my life too sometimes lmfao. part of this boredom does probably stem from being chronically ill and therefore barely leaving my house. i haven't been able to do other things beyond fanon creations in years. so no wonder i'd feel less inspired and more bored.

i also think i've gotten tired of watching things feeling like a chore. oh shit i need to write down this scene so i can use it on a fanvid, or make sure i take note of this piece of dialogue for this character's backstory, etc. i know i bitch about how i don't hate the word "content creator" bc it is just an easier catch-all for me as someone who makes lots of diff things, and i still agree with that, but i do think because of my own levels of perfectionism, mixed with honestly how weirdly expectant of quality fandom has become, it's become a chore to engage with source material.

another thing is i've always felt like i've needed a purpose in what i've made and that purpose tends to be justified by the community interactions. it makes me feel less lonely and it helps me feel inspired and like... it doesn't hurt to know you'll get feedback on something because you've found so many supportive friends in it. i rly just haven't landed in any new communities i vibe with a ton for the things ive gotten into lately, so there's less motivation there. that's not to say anyone's Bad, just... discord servers are too big, tags are too dead or all over the place, i don't message people to become friends, and the communities and friends i do have from fandom are all kinda doing different things rn, etc.

the other form of purpose would be challenges--exchanges, bingos, etc. this fanwork isn't just a random thing for fun, it has a reason for me to work on it enough to let it see the light of day. and i think i've kinda broken my brain a bit using those for motivation so much, but the alternative would be to never get anything into a publishable state, but without it being a publishable state and interacting with communities through it there's no reason for me to really spend all that much time on it in the first place, which means i'm really not getting to Create.

i think the biggest issue these days if every part of the creative process now feels like it's "for show" and original stuff that has literally no audience is the only way to kinda undo the amount of rules that's put on me and my creativity.

tl;dr i'm just not feeling the same fulfillment from making fanon stuff as i used to so i guess i need to experiment with making other things so i can still do the Making part and see where that lands me, and see if it can help undo some of the toxic mentalities being an exclusively fandom girlie for so long has kinda instilled in me.

i'm sure i'll still make fanon shit every so often--i honestly have been so busy that output won't be noticeably different from my usual once every five months contributions. i just need to get back into the right blend of circumstances for it to feel worth it, and until then i guess i need to dig out the dolls from my own attic instead of someone else's so i can have a less complicated vessel for creative hobbies because i'm fairly certain i'd still like to create.

#txt #this is just a v long ramble that im not sure makes much sense honestly or will be readable to anyone but myself at this point but eh #just needed to word it all out #...also just remembered another reason that causes that imbalance of fun #is chronic pain making certain art forms like drawing quite painful so although i've been wanting to learn art techniques #and practice generally in non-fandomy ways #i'm stopped by how it's more worth it to sketch a blorbo every so often #but idk i want to try figuring out better ways of going about that for myself and #since i can't have both fandom and original without pushing myself too far i kinda have to Choose art advancement #over stupid blorbo drawings #same with if i spend too much time typing etc #and that plus time constraints are why im making it out to be such a one or the other thing #but it also... is...#because i rly don't think i can keep doing fanon stuff without at least mixing things up somehow #if not moving to original stuff altogether #i do think that once im out of school and i have a more stable schedule #i'll be able to set aside specific free time each day as opposed to being all over the place #and that will help as well so i don't feel Guilty over creating things #when i should/could be doing something more productive bc i also do want to move my life forward rather than being SO escapist #and the guilt aspect gets in the way a lot more than it when i had more passion to beat it back with #that rly is my own fault tho for being in charge of my own schedule and being so bad at it lol #one last little note for myself is i think a lot abt non-fandomy hobbies i have like music #where yeah ive made some filks but for the most part idk what im doing #im just there to have fun and enjoy myself bc it's just... the entire reason i do it #and i dont rly get that from the things i also can use for fanon creations these days more readily

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thegaytoadwizard · 18 days

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tagged by the wonderful @oldironteeth for 5 things that make me happy (in no particular order):

music: music has been a pretty integral part of my life for the longest time, starting with "musical early childhood education" ("musikalische Früherziehung") at around maybe 2-3 yo or so, then Glockenspiel lessons (moreso just learning the very basic fundamentals of music), then keyboard lessons from like 4-7 yo, piano lessons since then (10 years now, and I'm really happy with my progress, essentially being at the highest skill level non-professionals can normally achieve), organ lessons since maybe 2018/2019 and I even played my first full church service last sunday (ignore the fact that I'm pretty much a satanist, the music sounds nice if you don't read the text and no one sees you anyway, so might as well be on your phone during the sermon parts plus I'm getting paid. also a several meters tall instrument made of metal/wood pipes with at the very least 3 sets of keys that towers over an already spacious building is metal af), also I've been singing in my schools choir for the past ~7 years, picked up guitar by myself in nov 2022 and since a Kanonenfieber show last nov my growls finally work properly. Apart from that I love listening to music, mainly Black Metal, but I've also come to enjoy stuff like OSDM, Dungeon Synth, Doom and Noise. I haven't been able to go to many concerts (essentially only one festival, one Kanonenfieber show and one Bell Witch show), but I loved those I could go to. Also I'm currently planning to start a (rn only cover) band with a few friends/friends of friends to start playing some metal and that seems to be going somewhere for once

LotR: I read the trilogy in like 6th grade and even tho I haven't read that much else Tolkien (only The Children of Huin and The Fall of Gondolin I believe, plus I've been on-and-off with a copy of The Hobbit for like half a year) it has become somewhat of a comfort series, which also probably explains how much I adore all the high fantasy Dungeon Synth

my mum being supportive: I came out to her last june and since then she stopped saying "my [son/daughter]" instead just referring to me as her 'child' and it just feels really good that she's making an active effort to support me, no doubts or stupid questions. Additionally she's been semi-jokingly using 'es' (i.e. the German it/its, since there really is no equivalent of they/them) when referring to me while talking to me or my sister, which still kinda fits, considering it may make me sound like a goblin or sth, but I spend most of my freetime in my basement room with the posture of a shrimp anyway

havin a queer friend irl: technically I have several queer friends, but they align with my own identity a lot (nb/pan/possibly ace), plus that in general we're really close means that I can talk to them about most stuff, be it dysphoria, mental health or just venting

animanga: I have no clue why specifically these forms of media, but eh. my first anime was Noragami in early 2021, my first manga Jujutsu Kaisen in summer the same year, currently I tend to read more manga than I watch anime and my physical collection of manga stands at a good 214 volumes right now (counting omnibuses as one volume). bl also kinda helped me realise that I'm not straight, so that's a win in my book. currently infatuated with the Dungeon Meshi anime. (also I doubt anyone cares but I'm just putting this here)

tags, no pressure:

@mell-150 @parasite-2 @trans-ghostboi @wolven-maw @risottoeater @lilacdelilah

#finally doing this #ive had the tab open for like 10 straight days and just couldnt start with this jesus fuck #but this was nice to do #my mental states not been that great the last couple weeks so remembering the nice things helped #even if i had to think about it a bit #now thats a proper wall of text #also listen to ethereal shroud and/or caladan brood #no reason theyre just great bands

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imamonsterfxcker-sorry · 2 years

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*MY Opinions on dating the Obey Me! brother's*

Couldn't find someone to write it for me so I'm doing it my self(I've never written before, especially on Tumblr, but this idea is driving me insane so I'm putting it in words for my own sake)

Like i said this is mostly for my sake but if anyone can relate or has they're own thoughts on it pls tell me, would love to talk about this more. 😊

This is my opinion/reasons why i personally would never by romantically involved with any of the brothers

English is not my first language so excuse any/all Grammer mistakes cuz I'm also on mobile while writing this lmao

Warning: Slight NSFW (mostly talk), cursing, talk about hitting/hurting someone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still would be friends with them, i wouldn't treat them differently but when it comes to being romantically involved with them I would a hundred percent say no, regardless if I like them or have been with having sex with them for a while and feelings arose (so fwb or whatever).

So this is kinda my take on how would I be/explanation if the brothers sin got to much for me or if they were to ask me out and i said no and they were to ask me for the reason.

Lucifer - I (personally) would not date this man bc he's the embodiment of Pride itself and he refuses to be wrong(even if he is) and I'm way to stubborn so we'll clash a lot. Also something I've seen is Lucifer getting mad at mc for failing grades or whatever and MC apologizing like??? I'm sorry but who do you think you are?! Like I struggle with my memory and that frustrates me a lot so if i fail and this man starts to shit on me for it acting like he's a saint I'm gonna drag him out of anger. I'm talking about I'm gonna bring up every single thing he's done wrong, especially how he's the reason all he's brothers fell bc they followed him after he fell(this is mostly based on a other headcanon/theory i found a while back that really intrigued me). Like he'll have to kill me to shut me up bc I hate people criticizing others as if they're perfect or ignore their efforts to do good(like how they all bully mammon despite how they all use there sin as an excuse just like he does)

Mammon - so i wouldn't date him cuz he'll steal from me and if he does I'll brake his ankles without hesitation. Also while i do feel bad for this man being bullied despite greed being his literal sin if he were to steal from me(i collect a lot of stuff like Levi lol) i would make this man wish he died in the war or I would either make him get my item back, buy me a new one or pay back i spent. And honestly? If that were to happen, him stealing, i wouldn't really trust him anymore or at least have the same level of respect for him bc how can you be a thousand year old demon and not have a sure way to have money? Like? My man you're freaking greed! There are humans rn that are a thousand times more greedy than you'll ever be like wtf? How can you be outstaged like that? And he doesn't even really buy stuff(besides cars) he just spends it the minute he gets it but again how can you not know how to make money already?

Levi - sooo oof this is like so hard bc while Levi has almost the exact same taste in everything as me i wouldn't date him bc of his insecurities and hear me out. I know that makes me sound bad but i also have similar insecurities if not the same but i don't use them the same way i feel Levi does? Like i genuinely feel he uses them as a guilt trip bc he wants you and only you and doesn't want to share? Idk if that makes sense but i personally cannot be with someone that needs constant reassurance everytime you even breath near another person and i have my own issues to deal with so i can't be with him

Asmodeus - so here's the reason i won't date him and i stand by it a 100%. This man will cheat on you literally all the time and also he will make you insecure. I'm sorry but i refuse to believe that a single human can keep the avatar of Lust satisfied like that makes no sense to me? The minute y'all finish fucking he's gonna go out and get with some succubus bc he's still horny and ik for a fact he'll say it means nothing bc he loves you and you should understand bc of his sin. Now onto the insecurities, humans have a lot things that causes wrinkles or blemishes hell even ageing a year can change you a lot so i feel like Asmo would point that out A LOT as small comments like "mc try this new cream for your face" or whatever like at first it might seem sweet but it will bring you down.

Satan - okay so I'm actually very 50/50 with this man bc i feel like he'll be a good partner and he's the only one that actually tries to be in control of his sin but that's not always the case. Here's the reason i won't date him, i feel like it'll be a lot of like walking on eggshells with him bc from what I seen it's the small things that make him angry and i wouldn't want to be with a partner that might possibly hurt me for something i couldn't control you know?

Beel - again another character I'm very 50/50 with bc i genuinely see no issue with Beel or his sin. He does seem like a good partner that cares for them and his loved ones. The only issue i see is slightly similar reasons to Satans, that i might be in danger so it's like a gamble with them. Bc Beel goes full demon mode if he's to hungry or you eat his food(even though he's always eating your food), so that's dangerous bc he can hurt you/eat you.

Belphie - so I wouldn't date him for two reasons. One i truly believe this man is a narcissist or just plain psychotic. He'll gladly hurt you bc he knows with a few words you'll forgive him and come back. Two Just his sin. If you want to date this man DO NOT except to go out or celebrate ANYTHING bc he won't care/try to do anything. He'll sleep through it and not feel bad bc i feel like he'll say that you should know who he is by now and not be mad so yeah. Also he killed us so fuck him for that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah that's that. Lol i only wrote this bc i saw some writing about the brothers sin and how MC would react but they seemed so sad?(on MC's part, like how MC handled it) Idk if that's the correct word it just seemed to basic? I'm aware that everyone's writing is different and how they interpret the brothers/MC so this is my take on the whole thing and how i would be.

#shall we date obey me #fanfiction #obey me x reader #obey me #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me beel angst #obey me beel #obey me satan #obey me belphie #obey me asmodeus #obey me smut #omgmyfirsttimewriting #obeyme #obey!me

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ultrvmonogamy · 6 months

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I just wanted to let you know, I think you have a really magnetic personality. I do wish I could get to know you better but I'm grateful for your presence here nonetheless. I'm wishing you well and hope you have a good rest of your week.

this is such a lovely message, thank u. having my presence valued means a lot to me, maybe even more so particularly bc i'm not super accessible--not sure if u've tried dming me n have found my response rate to be abysmal etc.

fwiw, i'm not sure anyone knows me well at all these days even tho it's something i kinda long for. i don't make it easy, but that's not intentional so much as it's intrinsic to the stuff i'm made of n sorta where i am overall rn. for starters i'm v introverted n am more often than not running on a deficit wrt 1-on-1 social energy. as a result i tend to be guarded abt where i put that energy, n also i seem to be way too good at putting it in the wrong places, which in turn can leave me feeling more disconnected and/or too desensitized to engage w (or sometimes even notice) ppl who r genuinely interested in connecting rather than just looking for a novel source of entertainment or wtv the case may be.

as it stands currently, anyone trying to get to know me is likely to need a lot of patience n persistence (plus probably a good bit of luck) even to have a chance of building some compelling rapport. that's not ideal, n i need a better strategy. i don't mind having a bit of a barrier to entry into my world, but it's gotten p ridiculous n is more detrimental than helpful. hell, i'm not even sure what knowing me might look like at this stage, but i do hope to experience it again on a mutual level while i'm still alive n hopefully sooner rather than later :)

i deeply appreciate everything u've expressed as well as u taking the time n making the effort to let me know. thank u regarding my week too, n i hope ur weekend will soon be off to a promising start 🫶

#ty bestie <3 #mail #anon #abt #oc

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secondmagic · 8 months

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a fucking problem i've had recently is

a) i've been in college for the past few years and it's an art school so all my creative energy has been put entirely in school projects (and i am life a few months away from starting my last year where. i'll be working on my graduate film. which, wtf.) leaving me with little to no time or energy for personal stuff or stuff i draw for fun or that isn't for a specific poroject

b) all i want to draw recently is p*rn (and i really do not want to censor that but the tumblr algorithm has locked my blog down for content enough times at this point) or at least horny or something that at least has bare titties and the occasional bare pussy so either i have to just give up on it i guess or post a little preview piece of it here and link somewhere else and.... like twitter is in a dire state at this point, don't exactly have a following there, it has been well, well documented how the algorithm is actively like against you even if you're like some kind of da vinci level maestro. but it's basically my only option now for most the stuff i do want to post to even get stuff our there. and i did recently get a bluesky acc but you know it's a not very active website and also invite-only. so, not a lot of options.

and you know, my posting here has always been kinda sporadic and i have tried to make stuff more frequently and have a bigger output but out of all the time i spent drawing which frankly is a lot, very little of it ends up as like. a properly fully rendered piece that i can show and i would occasionally post stuff here from my sketchbook that i find at least a little bearable to look at but that also actually takes effort and is difficult to make it like. visually presentable.

a while back tumblr has informed me that this blog has turned 10 years old, which, whoof, huge crisis over the passage of time and also how many grand ambitions i had with this blog when i made it and how little of it i achieved in those 10 years and genera feelings about my own skills and growth and where i stand in life because of my very sporadic posting and my slow pace of work which has gone from like. once very two months to 2-3 times a year and now even when i feel inspired i don't know how much of what i make is even going to be here. recently i've been reevaluating if i even have what it takes or if i even should be an artist with the pace at which i work and how little of anything i complete not to mention how i feel about my own art skills in general, but you know given i've been stubborn about wanting to do this since childhood and i literally just cannot concieve with my brain of doing anything else in life. and on top of that i'm too much of a stubborn spiteful bitch not to keep pushing because i can't let the evil malicious gnome trying to take me down win, so this is something i'm figuring out over time.

anyway i did somehow manage to get 320ish followers in that time, give or take those that are either bots or inactive, and most of you probably followed me for stuff i'm either not super into right now or don't post anymore so you're probably not getting your follow's worth if you look at it practically, you might not even know or remember who i am or what you ever followed me for because of how long its been and how sporadic i am. but i guess i just want to say i know i don't have a lot to offer on this blog compared to a lot of other artists in terms of quality or quantity, which hopefully that will change one day in the future because i am trying to figure out how to do this all better, so thank you all who did follow and are still following and are sticking around despite all of [waves hands] all the things i described

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tenrosedyke · 11 months

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ok great news guys I have figured my shit Out:

- I'm not a man I'm just like. transmasc butch which honestly isn't a HUGE revelation since I've identified as butch for years but the transmasc part is new

- I do think there's going to be a slight transition involved in terms of like my appearance and stuff- top surgery obvi which I've wanted for years is still like priority but I also think I want to start microdosing t? just a little to see how it feels for a bit. And I think I'm going to get a packer just to kind of see how it feels- I don't have any dysphoria relating to that at all as of rn and I don't necessarily see bottom surgery being in my future but I think I want to dip my toe in the water just to see.

- even though it's scary I'm going to be like more open and honest about it now and like be more loud about it. it's not as big of a secret in my personal life but at work and stuff I really do make myself seem smaller and make myself seem more feminine and I'm going to stop doing that. and I'm going to tell people to stop calling me Emma I'm declaring that a dead name now it's just em lol

- I'm changing to go by any pronouns because upon reflection I've found I don't really mind either way. she doesn't bother me at all, I'm indifferent about they, he is kind of foreign to me but in a fun way. I like playing around with titles- for example, it would feel wrong if my siblings were to call me their brother, so i do still like sibling or sister for that kind of thing, definitely like kid or daughter and not son- but if I had a gf and she wanted to call me her boyfriend once in a while id like that. Or like it's fun being called sir in public and stuff. (And I have a praise thing and like being called good boy LOL. NEVERRR call me a good girl I'll scream)

- gonna put in more effort to like masculinize my personality if that makes sense I've always been so so envious of (what I perceive at least to be) the way dudes always seem to be so confident and loud and just like taking up space. I'm definitely not like that, my natural mannerisms are so feminine, and I don't think theres anything like actually wrong with that it does just cause me a lot of dysphoria so I'm going to make an effort to change that I guess?? I've heard t can just kind of make that happen we'll see. Probably about 90% of that is confidence that comes from not having debilitating gender dysphoria lol so adds up

I'm very excited to try t!! I have a lot to work out like, I'm kind of debating if I'll even tell most people? Or (especially if I microdose it) if it'll be subtle and gradual enough that it'll ever be brought up. But that's probably wishful thinking lol the changes I want would definitely be noticeable so I will likely probably have to have a VERY difficult conversation with my family I am not looking forward to. But hopefully my mother will take comfort in the fact that I am not a Man (although the view is bullshit it does work in my favor just a little) and I don't think she'll disown me over it, just be a super big asshole about the testosterone lol. However a deeper voice and (hopefully!!) smaller hips and more angular face and a little bottom growth will make that all worth it lol.

And I just bought a new binder that I think will help a lot because the one I use now is old and stretched out and not really designed for big chests anyways, and I'm going shopping with a friend this weekend so I will be very purposeful in buying clothing that makes me feel good (I wear all men's clothes now but a lot of it is more 'androgynous' because I've been clinging to a shred of plausible deniablilty that frankly I don't want anymore.) I also think getting a new cologne will help which I know is silly but it's something I associate very much with masculinity in my brain and the one I have now is, again, a 'unisex' smell for that plausible deniability. That being said assigning gender to things like clothes and smells is silly but I do not control what gives me euphoria lol.

All in all I am very pleased to come to this conclusion! Who knows if any of this will change LOL, and it feels weird because I debated for like three days and came to this conclusion but truthfully I've been struggling to come to terms with gender since like, 2018. so it is a long time coming.

now to figure out how to get my little dyke hands on some HRT BABY !!!!!

#me #trans #putting this under a read more because its just a giant text block of excited rambling #butch tag #also im going to start working out so i am stronger:) not an appearance thing rlly i just want to be more capable and helpful #because THAT gives me euphoria like i want people to ask for my help lifting things and opening jars lol

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