Today we ask the gang: How do you like to read?

GROOVY I love digging through vintage magazines! My uncle has an amazing collection of old MAD Magazines that I'm still working through!

GIRLY Weather it's an ebook I checked out from my local library or the latest webtoons episode, I love to read on the go with my tablet!

GOTH NERD I'm an old fashioned book reader! I love holding the physical book in my hands!

SPORTY I find I have a hard time sitting still just to focus purely on reading. That's why I like audio books so much; it lets me multitask!

Thanks to Groovy Gal and her friends for sharing their answers! Now how about you: How do you like to read? What are your favorite books? Do you have any questions you'd like to see the gang answer? Let me know!

Logs from the Starfields

Name: Trim. Pronouns: They/Them. Background: Long Hauler. Traits: Wanted. Introvert. Alien DNA.

Some Backstory

I used to haul cargo long distances. Didn't matter what, as long as the creds were decent. Parts shipments to new colonies. A few passenger transports here and there when I felt like having some company. Sometimes, I'd even take a shady no-questions-asked contract.

It was one of those off the books deals that went south. That's how I ended up with alien DNA in my veins and a very unhappy client. To be fair, they didn't provide any warning or advise not to open the cargo. Sometimes I like to know what I'm stretching my neck out for. I wasn't totally prepared to fight off a weird space mutt with extra tendril-esque appendages and a penchant for chomping. Fucker got me good. I got 'em in kind. But whatever was in that hounds bite sure did some tango in my genome.

Get some weird dreams, odd cravings every so often. On the plus side I've never breathed as good my whole life. Been feeling quite a bit sturdier too. Food ain't been filling me up quite as well and med packs seem a bit slower but I ain't complaining… much. Which is also why I now have to keep my eyes open and watch over my shoulder. Never know when they'll send another squad to try and collect. I'm assuming they wanted the mutt for some wicked experiments. Guess I did the poor soul a favor on that front.

At the very least… it keeps my life exciting. If not tedious. Christ… I'm tired. But if I stop, I'm dead, so. What can ya do? [ Note: Minor spoilers for beginning of the game ahead! ]

Captain's Log #0.01:

Life's been up, down, and through the ringer more times than I can count. And I can count pretty high. Been trying to find a new way for a while now. Nothing seems to want to pan out. Shit luck, I guess.

Signed up with a mining crew for a change of pace. Was about ready to go on lunch break. Have a nice sandwich. Took it right off Rigel's plate. Stared right at him while I did it, too. The look on his face was priceless. Didn't even try to stop me. (I only feel a little bit like a jerk. But he's been getting on my nerves. What's a little sandwich shenanigans between crewmates, right?)

So anyway. Didn't have time to eat. What did I get instead? A ridiculous helping of ancient artifact brain waltzing, a run and gun all pirate rodeo, and a robot who criticizes the amount of junk I pick up every chance it gets. Listen, buddy. I got to net some creds somehow. And ain't nobody using these 15 microscopes for anything. Or those 37 succulents. Mind your own business. (Though, not sure why I needed all these notebooks in assorted RGB colors. I could drop a few but… I just think they're neat.)

Guess I also got a free ship out of the deal. At least no one's tried to take it back from me yet. See how long that lasts. (Pirates notwithstanding. I made a special detour to talk the head honcho out of pestering me. He even agreed. Then I accidently shot the volatile barrel him and his two guards were standing next to and uh… Oops, I guess?)

Anyhow. Poked around this abandoned research facility. Scanned a few rocks and some novelty sized trilobites. Filled my pockets and then jumped to New Atlantis.

Some group called Constellation wants me to join up given the head-fuckery I witnessed on contact with the artifact. Some kind of explorers club. Gave me a room and everything. Sarah, who seems to kind of be the woman in charge, wants to take me out on a mission. But I've got a lot of side gigs on my plate already and I want to take care of those first, so. I hope she don't mind waiting around a bit while I do some good humanitorial work… or whatever.

Feels nice to help folks sometimes, y'know? Got a tired lookin' gal near the tram some coffee. Helped fix up some wiring discrepancies down in the sub-city. Even rounded up some bio-scanners for a scientist fella.

Think I might go survey a planet next. I'll tell ya about it when I'm done.

End log.

I guess this will be a new master post since it's been a while and I've gotten pretty far in rejuvenation! That, and the new ocs I've made. Please keep in mind that these character bio's are prone to change as I get further into each story.

Rejuv Cast

Imani Ambrose ( she/her. Has gotten used to they/them): The main protagonist of Pokemon Rejuvenation! She's a chill and cheerful gal who has a small mischievous streak ( read: she's a chaotic gremlin)! All she wants is to protect her friends and make people happy! She's very into fashion and can sketch and make her own designs.

Flynn Fujimori ( she/her): A student at Axis High University aiming to be a doctor....at least that's what her parents want. She doesn't really know what she wants herself, even if she's really good at what she currently does. Is friends with Risa, someone who got her out of her shell.

Arrow Chalcedony ( they/them): Lives in GDC( The Underground), but was originally from the Badlands. May or may have not joined Team Bladestar but quit when realizing how dangerous they really are ( this is still undecided, but thought I'd mention it)

Reborn Cast!

Leo Joshi (he/him): Reborn main protag.Formerly a rich douche bag, now a runaway to get a new start when he got a wave up call( via his friend group finally leaving him). Actively trying to be better than he was before, but still puts up the mask of being cool and confident ( he doesn't really see himself in the best light anymore). Did not expect all shit that's going down to go down. Send help.

"Delia"/ Suraya Joshi ( she/her): Leo's older sister who followed him to Reborn. He did runaway after all. Use the fake name of "Delia" to get around easier ( as easy as you can when you look moderately rich), and is generally more prepared than her brother. She's very concerned for him, and can only hope he's doing okay.

Blair Winters ( Xe/xem and they/them. Mostly xe/xem): Formerly an assassin, now a gun for hire/bodyguard, now tasked with escorting "Delia" across Reborn in search for her brother. They are as cold as ice with many inner demons, and they have a deep hatred for Team Meteor.

Desolation Cast!

Asra Reverie ( they/them): Desolation main protagonist! Posh goth royalty with a cool ass parasol. They are good at cooking, music and especially physical fitness( their parasol can be deadly). Despite having a calm collected demeanor, they love winning and can be pretty competitive. They are still fairly easy to talk to, especially over a cup of tea.

Cande Caballero ( he/she): Eldest sibling of two that lives in Cellia City. Takes on lots of jobs to provide for her siblings, but also has a strong sense of justice, this refusing the offers that the Foxes offer him. Is generally well loved among his community, always willing to help those in need.

Philomena ( she/her): A mysterious woman that seems to know more than she lets on. She's friendly enough,and has a slightly air headed nature to her. Whether or not that air headedness is an act no one knows. She likes to call Lilith "Lillie".

As you can see, desolation doesn't have a lot of ocs. This is mainly because I don't have a good basis for them yet. I haven't played desolation in a long while and am currently waiting for the update! That being said, Asra won't be the only one from desolation, I assure you!

So that's it! Other than these guys, I'm gonna just be posting a whole lot of reactions to the fangames and rom hacks I'm playing ( which probably means more ocs lol). Also feel free to interact if you wanna! Ocs and all :).

Okay, now that's it. I hope you enjoy your time here!

hey what are your expectations for the new bts album?

Hey! That's a good question. I'm a glass half-empty kind of gal (actually, I'm a glass half-full kind of gal if we're actually talking about glasses!), so don't expect a super positive answer from me, but that's probably why you've sent me this ask anyway!

I saw the leaked tracklist and was honestly super surprised, I couldn't believe it even though it seemed legit. Born Singer? Who would've thought! It seems the leaked tracklist is legit though... But in the leaked tracklist most songs appeared to be remixes or unreleased versions of existing songs, while the official tracklist for CD1 seems to only include the originals, no remixes or nothing... If the same thing happens with CD2, then only CD3 has a few demos and new content (apart from the new tracks!). If Tony Montana with Jimin is actually in it, then Proof has already surpassed my expectations (of it being a normal Best Of album).

I understand why CD 1 would be just the title tracks, but I didn't like the tracklist for CD 2 (which might still be fake!). Imo, they didn't choose the "best" BTS songs, or even the most meaningful ones. I guess they chose the ones with the most sentimental value to Army (like Moon, Stay, Her) as well as the most popular solo tracks (Euphoria, Seesaw, Ego, Persona). It's still essentially a Best Of compilation, but they had to add the unit and solo songs even though they are generally not the best BTS songs... But why is Her on the album? Because it's about Army? Isn't Tear a million times better, more popular, and more significant to the fandom? Dimple is on the album too, as well as Zero O'Clock. I mean, 00:00 I get, but why Dimple instead of Pied Pier, or say, Mic Drop? For the most part, it seems like they chose the chillest, most "pop" songs. I wonder when "hip hop" BTS will make a comeback. Personally, I would only listen to the first album, perhaps not in full, and maybe the third album too, depending on what's in it.

Proof doesn't feel at all worth the money, but none of their physical albums are worth the money to me. You can listen to all of BTS's old songs on Spotify, and they could've just released the demos for free during Festa. The three new singles could've been released together or something. It's like 80 dollars, or whatever it costs (plus maybe shipping and duties), for CDs people won't play and a few photocards and posters to add to the collection. Oh, and, obviously, for the pleasure of knowing you "supported" BTS and own their albums, even if these albums just end up collecting dust on Armys' shelves. Personally, I don't see the point.

As for my expectations regarding the new songs... They were low, but now they're lower. I did something unethical and listened to the leaked samples, and, yeah... it was very Life Goes On, and I think one LGO was already more than enough. Fans were all like "LGO was perfect because of the pandemic", but, to quote Psy, "pandemic's over, uh" and they're still releasing music like LGO (f the leaked songs are legit). Once you've crossed a line, there's no coming back... There was a leaked song called Run which sounded promising, but it's probably not that great... I imagine the songs will be in BE's style, which is not for me... Also, Yet to Come was produced by MAX, and his music is definitely not my style, so that doesn't bode well for me either. I mean, I know the songs will be nice, but will they be great? Dunno, but I know they'll grow on me, at least. Other fans might find them great though. I expect another WAB: The Eternal from them, and that's a song most fans are crazy about, but I'm not.

So, yeah, that's it! Thanks for the ask!

Shingeki no Kyojin Headcanons: 104th training corps (College AU - Outfits pt II)

Part I | College AU HCs

Part II of the outfits/aesthetics headcanons - College AU that would (kinda) be included in the oneshot I'm working on.

IMPORTANT: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin nor the trend of this outfits-displays, only this HCs belong to me. // Contains spoilers (for the icons that I used in some characters) // English is not my first language, so I ask for your patience and understanding.

Historia Reiss

She has a huge wardrobe and so well organized by color, textures, and sizes. From halter tops to maxi dresses, our queen really dresses like one.

Forever in love with skirts and dresses with patterns and/or pastel colors. But don’t get confused, girl has range.

So, one could see her wearing monochromatic ensembles one day and the other, she’s all dressed up with some bright color pieces matching a patterned shirt.

Also owns a vast collection of jewelry and accessories both original and classy. And let’s not forget the shoes: sneakers, heels, boots, sandals and cute little anklets to match. I swear she can make crocs look boujee.

Contrary to what people think, she doesn’t support fast fashion industry. Aware of her privilege, she knows she has the money and time to buy from small businesses and keep herself trendy.

Last but not least, and kind of clothing related: Historia loves taking Ymir to thrift shopping dates and later go eating at some indie cafeteria. The lifestyle is also part of the outfit, alright?

Ymir

Her wardrobe consists in comfortable clothes and not giving a fuck. All her clothes give Rockstar lesbian vibes (stan this queen). Her designated color palette is based on dark shades, so it’s a real contrast between her outfits and Historia’s.

Loves combat boots and her wasted Converse TM, although her favorite pieces from her apparel are bomber jackets, coats, sweaters, and hoodies.

Ymir also wears a fair amount of stainless-steel accessories, mostly chunky rings and chains. Moreover, is common to find her listening to music, therefore, earphones are a fashion statement really.

Speaking about must-wear, this girl likes to paint her nails black but due her anxiety she tends to scratch the painting off so it gives this grunge look (don’t romanticize this fellas).

Historia would suggest her some trends or give her advice about color, but being honest, Ymir has a very well-defined style at this point.

Now, about her dress style: She won’t dress like a metalhead nor grunge (at least not intentionally). And she wouldn’t define her style as dark, it’s just what it is.

Reiner Braun

He wears lots of denim in jackets and jeans but also owns a couple of dress pants that combines with beanies or simple caps. Also, has plenty of plain simple shirts that fit his strong body.

Reiner usually wears opaque shades of all colors. Another fact, he’s not a big fan of patterns unless we’re talking about sweaters. He also wears jackets yet avoids cardigans and hoodies.

A very important thing to know, Reiner has a lot of gym clothes, he works out daily so don’t be surprised.

Most of those clothes are joggers, pants, shorts, and t-shirts that look as if he ripped them off or something.

Actually, a lot of his clothes look like they’re about to be ripped apart due his huge ass pectorals (please, Reiner, let me rest gently on your pecs). Just kidding, his whole wardrobe fits him perfectly.

Finally, if Reiner had to define his style in a sentence, he’d probably acknowledge that he gives the impression of a rich a-hole, but really, Rei just likes to be comfortable and presentable at all times. So, rich white guy it is for now.

Bertolt Hoover

Bertie is that one friend that always carries a cardigan or sweater just in case, also because he tends to lend his clothes if a friend of his is in need. So thoughtful, our big baby.

His wardrobe is amazingly well organized, and its color palette is unmatched. Lots of blue, brown, beige, white and black.

We know he’s tall enough to call everybody’s attention every time he enters a room. And being as shy as he can be, he avoids brilliant colors or striking pieces. Instead, he chooses simpler outfits.

Bertolt follows this formula every time: pants, shirt, sweater. Everything clean and discrete.

Now if we must talk about his shoes, Berts prefers some white sneakers or modest dress shoes. He wouldn’t say he owns a vast collection, rather, he keeps a fair amount for different occasions.

No tattoos nor piercings. Speaking of which, it’s so rare to see him wearing any accessories at all. Maybe he'll carry with him an analogical clock, and that's it. Although if someone gave him a friendship bracelet you can be sure he'll wear it all-the-time.

Annie Leonhart

Lots of denim for her jackets and jeans. Hoodies, bands merch and graphic t-shirts.

Her clothes’ color palette has range but nothing too pastel or colorful. Instead, she gets all the opaque version of the pieces she likes.

Not that Annie hates dresses or skirts, it’s just unusual for her to even think about wearing them. She prioritizes being comfortable, and tight/short clothes can’t provide her that feeling.

Hates slim clothes unless it’s a tank top or something similar. She just prefers oversized hoodies and mom jeans. Also, if Annie can avoid skinny pants, you can be sure she will.

Owns a fair amount of gym clothes because she also likes to train but most of the times, you’ll see her running around campus, really. She’s a simple woman with simple pleasures.

Annie is the personification of ‘looks like she could kill you, is an actual cinnamon roll’, from her attitude to her clothes. So beware, for she’s the queen of looking rude with her chains around her belt, and her ring to match but don't let her fool- holy shit, that thing can actually stab someone. As I was mentioning, such a sweet gal, isn’t she?

Hitch Dreyse

She can make it boujee with so little effort (and money), lemme tell you. Wears her clothes with such an attitude and class. Hitch's an actual wine-mom, or aunt maybe? she gives those vibes.

People have the impression from her style, that her parents are rich, but nothing could be further from the truth. It’s just that Hitch knows how to dress. (Also, we know that for a fact sis has a scholarship, okay?) ANYWAYS,

Miss here is forever in love with white and baby blue. Owns plenty of jeans but also dress pants and culottes that wears with blazers or shirts that make her look like a princess with a diversity of fabrics such as satin, silk-alike texture, and cotton.

Hitch is the queen of heels. Although she hates very high ones, she rocks shorter heels and walks in them with little to no effort. Or at least looks like it. All of her shoes are classy yet unique.

Now, let’s talk about her collection of accessories. Hitch likes her jewels in gold and only buys signature pieces: rings, earrings (for her four lobe perforations, two in each ear) and necklaces, of course. Yes, it is gold but in modest designs. Sounds fair, right?

Marlowe Freudenberg

Our big boy in here thinks that he should look presentable at all times since he’s the Chief Editor of the History student’s academic journal at Paradis’ Uni. Not that he cares a lot of his appearance, really.

And that’s actually cute because he puts effort into his outfits. Marlowe would be one of those straight guys that are hygienic and know how to dress and has no fragile masculinity.

Cologne is a must and part of his attire just like handkerchiefs are, because at the same time, he was raised to be the classic gentleman TM.

Marlowe dresses in all colors; he can’t choose a favorite one or a never-changing palette. He’s aware of season colors too and plays that at his wardrobe favor.

Yet for his outfits he’d follow few simple rules: oxfords (cleaned), dress pants (somewhere between slim fit and straight leg), some polo/dress shirt/cotton thing-y for top and a sweater / cardigan / blazer if season demands it.

Finally, our favorite student-editor spends some time of his routine shaving his face and styling his hair, albeit wouldn’t consider himself a vain guy nor full of himself. Lowkey expects Hitch to notice his appearance. Such a sweetheart.

Gateway Drug | Part Forty-Seven

Table of Content or Part Forty-Six

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Words: 2.6k

Warning(s): Explicit language, mentions of drug abuse

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"...Viv, I can't afford to bail anyone out of jail right now." Doc sighs out sleepily and I roll my jaw.

"Well, none of the guys have enough money either. We're in a bind."

"How'd you even get arrested?" He asks me and I rub my lips together.

"This douche face was being obnoxious and creepy and we had a misunderstanding." I explain.

"Misunderstanding?"

"Okay he got his ass handed to him and security called the cops." I mumble, rolling my eyes.

"Who exactly handed him his ass, Vivian?"

"...A red head..."

"Vivian Sixx--"

"--Um, Axl's locked up, too, it coulda been either one of us!" I defend myself. "If one of the guys called you from jail, you'd bail them out asap." I add.

A moment of silence passes as I pray in my mind that he agrees to something.

"Alright, Viv, alright. I'll handle it." He sighs out.

He hangs up and I put the phone back on the hook as the officer escorts me back to the holding cell Axl, Duff, Izzy, Slash, Steven and Tansy are in.

"What did he say?" Duff asks.

"He's handling it." I say to him.

"Oh, I'm sure." Axl mumbles, his head leaned back against the block wall, sunglasses covering his eyes up. "Must be nice to snap your fingers and get what you want."

"Oh, damn." Stevie says under his breath, knowing this is about to cause an argument.

Slash is busy tying the laces of his boots with Tansy's, Izzy's trying to catch a nap, and Duff is scooting over on the floor so I can sit next to him.

"I get it even faster using 'Sixx'." I don't even deny Axl's accusation and he scoffs.

"Coulda used that card to keep us from getting arrested in the first place."

"No, you could've kept us from getting arrested had you kept your temper together instead of punching the guy." I snap.

"And like you threatening the police officer helped." He shoots back at me.

"I didn't threaten him." I argue.

"You told him you'd break your foot off in his ass." Steven points out, rubbing his tired eyes.

"It was a promise, not a threat, and I wouldn't have said it if he wouldn't have been unnecessarily aggressive." I scoff.

"Yeah, well it got everyone else in trouble for being associated with us. So next time keep your fuckin' mouth shut." He states.

"There won't be a 'next time' because I refuse to be locked in a tiny space with you ever again." I roll my eyes.

There was a "next time" a couple years later.

It was my first time out since having Monroe when a paparazzi so boldly called me a "passaround" and asked me what other bassists I had "sucked and fucked."

Axl and I both went for him without realizing the other person was throwing a punch, and he got double the trouble.

We were deemed "Twin Tornados" after that because apparently were both loud, aggressive, unpredictable, and could make a mess.

Within an hour and a half, it's five in the morning, and Duff is nudging me awake.

"Hmm?" I sit up from laying against his arm.

"I think Doc's here." He tells me, nudging everyone else awake.

Within a few more minutes an officer is stepping to us, unlocking the cell.

Once we get our stuff back and go to the lobby, bitterly glare at Doc...

Nikki's leaned against the counter, leather jacket clad arms are crossed, and I can just feel his hazel eyes looking me up and down from behind his blacked out sunglasses.

I ignore him the best I can, stepping outside, only for Doc to trail behind me as Nikki and the guys make small talk as they walk out after us.

"Viv, I didn't have any other choice." Doc tells me and I turn to face him.

"Vince, Tommy...?" I ask. "They would've come and got us out. You just went to Nikki because you were pissed I inconvenienced you."

"I went to Nikki because once the two of you said 'I do', you promised to take care of each other. He wanted to come make sure you were alright. Regardless of this dumb separation you two have going on, you're still his wife."

"Dumb separation he insisted on." I point out, tears swelling in my eyes.

"Well, he's not exactly singing that song anymore." He tells me lowly and I furrow my brows.

"What?"

"Just believe me. He misses you." He mumbles.

I don't have time to question him anymore.

"Can we go home now?" Steven yawns, stretching.

"I can take you guys home." Doc offers. "Viv, you can go back with Nikki." He suggests and I raise my brow as tension collects in the air.

Everyone looks at me knowingly, waiting for me to answer.

"I can't do that." I argue, crossing my arms.

"It's been a month, Viv." Doc states, his eyes flickering to Nikki for a second.

"Which means we have two more to go." I raise my brows.

"Vivian." He says more sternly. "Stop being ridiculous."

"He wanted to get away from me for three months. He's getting what he wants, like he always does." I laugh without humor.

"You didn't really expect him to go that long with his wife--"

"--Oh, I did. He was oh so sure he wanted to be separated for that long." I cut Doc off, looking at Nikki. "I'll see you in two months. Whether it's with open arms or divorce papers, is up to you. I could give a damn at this point."

I wanted to punish him. He hurt me by making me feel like he didn't care. He didn't throw "ninety days" out there to have that much time to gather his thoughts and reflect and do better by me, he threw out that number so he could have more time to do whatever the hell he wanted to without his wife in the house.

And he did whatever and whoever the hell he wanted to do the entire time.

For years I blamed my reluctance and pettiness as the main contributor to his affair with Vanity.

After that night at the police station, I refused to come home, even when he called the apartment, fucked up and crying, repeating "I'm sorry."

Had I come home, it might have decreased their time spent together or something. At least that's how I felt for years after the actual affair took place.

I didn't realize he wasn't calling and saying "sorry" because he regretted suggesting we be apart for that long...but because he'd slept with another woman. Another woman he found himself becoming slightly emotionally connected to, and knew, almost immediately, wouldn't just be a one-night stand or a fling, but would become "the other woman."

And she would hold that position, without my knowledge, for an entire year and a half.

Of course when I found out I was angry at the both of them, but I was more angry at him.

He sought her out.

He saw her in Vanity 6's "Nasty Gal" video, called his people at the office, they contacted her people, and set up a date for them to meet. Just like that. And he wasn't even thinking of me because I wasn't even living in the house with him.

So to me, for a long time, I was just as much to blame as Nikki and Vanity.

And that doesn't even count the many times I blamed myself for his straying after staring in a mirror and comparing myself to her.

We were on the complete opposite sides of the spectrum in looks, personality, how we carried ourselves, and hobbies.

And it's not like she was Nikki's outlet to an entirely different lifestyle than he had with me.

It wasn't like he was a sober, church going, family man who kept things vanilla and just visited her when he needed a wild night of smoking crack, shooting heroin and screwing around.

He was the same person with her as he was with me.

The only reason they stayed together so long is because she never made him feel bad for fucking himself up. She encouraged it.

And that was the one thing I had over her.

Well that, and, according to Izzy, "she's a ten but the drugs make her a five. And her being batshit crazy knocks her to a solid two...on a good day. You're a ten."

He followed that up with, "don't compare yourself to a fucking crack addict when there's barely anything left of her to compare to. The only thing she can say she's got on you, is screwing your husband, and she brags about it because strung out Nikki Sixx is obviously a prize."

His sarcasm had me laughing and wiping my tears.

I was tempted to get "strung out Nikki Sixx is obviously a prize" tattooed on me, but decided not to.

The door opens and Slash and Steven come in, chuckling, as I scrub the last cup in the sink.

"Wow, it's only three in the afternoon and you're up?" I ask them.

"We took Tans to the airport." Stevie explains. "I don't know why she doesn't just move back here." He adds.

"She works out of New York." I say with a shrug.

"She's alright got Miss 1985. The hell else is there left for her to do?" He sighs, pouting a little and I rub my lips together.

"Hustler magazine called her a few days ago." I tell them and they look at each other.

"Hustler's more graphic than Playboy..." Steven points out with slight distaste.

"I think the wrong people have their feet on her neck, and there's not a damn thing any of us can do about it." I tell him, rubbing my forehead.

"Oh." He says lowly, a sad expression on his face.

I decide to change the subject.

"So." I start, sitting on the counter. "Any idea for an album yet?"

"We got plenty of songs. We're looking for a producer." Slash informs me, sitting on the couch. "Tom wants to bring in Paul Stanley."

"Ugh." I can't hide my wrinkling nose at the idea of Paul Stanley producing Guns N' Roses.

"What's wrong with that?" Steven asks me.

"I like Paul but KISS isn't Guns N' Roses. I don't think he would give you a sound that's signature to you guys' style."

"Yeah, that's what the guys think." Stevie replies, sighing out. "It's still cool we got his attention."

"Yeah, it is." I agree. "You just gotta stick to what your sound is, is all."

"Well, who produced Mötley's first big album?"

"Oh, it wa--" I stop myself abruptly after the name completely leaves my mind. I furrow my brows, knowing that I know who produced it, but I can't. "I'm not crazy. I know who produced it."

They wait for a moment.

"Did they even have a producer?" I mumble to myself. "Well then who the hell produced 'Shout at the Devil' and 'Theater of Pain'?" I ask myself, thinking harder than I should be. "You're telling me you were the only sober one around and you can't even remember who the hell was working with them?" I keep talking to myself and I can see Steven and Slash looking at each other from the corner of my eye. "I give up. I can't remember. I'm not crazy." I tell them and Stevie spins his pointer finger beside his temple to signal to Slash that I'm looney and I throw the dish towel at him, hitting him in the face, causing him to chuckle some more.

"I'm gonna go get a shower." I tell them, trying to calm my laughter spell with them as I step to the bathroom and start the shower before undressing and getting in.

I've been fine, actually getting out of bed at a reasonable time every day and cleaning up the apartment while the guys are out doing whatever. I haven't missed any doses of my medicine in a while, and that's helping my mood more than I thought it would.

I've been slowly starting to dance again. I'm not sure if Mandy is aware Duff sneaks me to her band's rehearsal space almost every other night, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

I still miss Nikki--and it's been two weeks since we last saw each other--but it's not a "can't breathe without you" feeling, I just miss his company, his smart-ass comments, his teasing, his laugh, his smile, his eyes, the sound of his bass as he fumbles with it to recreate a riff he thought up in his head at some point, the way he would do tiny things to help me around the house, our conversations in the dead of night about stupid things he would think up under the influence...I miss him sneaking into my bedroom window at night and the two of us trying not to wake up my parents with our laughter, I miss feeling like I never wanted to leave the apartment he shared with Vince and Tommy because I'd have to leave his bed, I miss not having the weight of the world on my shoulders, not constantly thinking "you're his wife, people are looking at you, dress like this, look like this, act like this, look happy, be sexy, fuck him good, and he won't give groupies a second glance."

I miss life before the access to excess.

I miss Nikki.

Not "Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe."

Just Nikki.

I'm rinsing shampoo from my hair when someone knocks at the door.

"Viv?"

Speaking of Mandy, her voice sounds from the other side of the door.

"Yeah?" I reply, hearing the door open a little.

"You've got a phone call. He says it's an emergency." She tells me. "He says it's about your husband." She adds.

I'm nearly breaking my neck to scramble out of the shower, not bothering with taking the time to wrap up in the towel, rushing past her and my heart sinks to my stomach.

"Emergency" and "Nikki" are never good in the same sentence.

Duff is holding the phone for me, mouthing "Doc" to me as I take it, trying to convince myself not to start crying before I even know what exactly is going on.

"H-Hello?" I ask into the phone, my body shaking. I don't know if it's due to anxiousness or the cold air clinging to my wet skin.

Duff's draping my shoulders with his jacket, and Mandy pulls it shut so I'm not flashing Slash or Steven, who're in front of us, sitting on the couch.

"Viv, I need you to break that fucking bullshit you have for therapy and go back home." Doc orders me.

"Why? What happened? What's wrong? Is Nikki okay?" I frantically ask one after the other.

"I don't know, I'm about to head over there and make sure." He says.

"Doc, what the hell happened? What's wrong?" I demand, getting more and more impatient.

He's quiet on the other end, hesitating for some reason, only pissing me off more and more because I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack.

"Doc!" I bark, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"His grandfather, Tom, just called me so I could pass the message on to you. He's already called Nikki." He starts, pausing as if what he's about to say is a tough thing to get out. "Nikki's grandmother has passed away, Vivian."

Don’t Have to Tell Me Twice

A/N: I wrote this one kinda quick, maybe it’s not too bad. I’m trying to really work on my writing so I’m going to try to get the part two for Come Home to Me out soon. Enjoy!

Words: 2,333

"The murmur is gone."

The words that stopped your heart, your breathing, and echoed in your mind for weeks, months, days, and years. The second those four words slipped from your sweet Eugene's lips, your world stopped. You held it together, but that night you cried yourself to sleep. You knew Gene would be shipping off soon, off to fight the war that he had so desperately been trying to claw his way to. You didn't want him to go, you knew better than to beg, so you didn't dare ask him to stay. His heart was with the war, and if he didn't go, his heart would never be at home. So you collected yourself the best you could and came to terms with him leaving. You didn't know how long he'd be gone or if you'd ever see him again. You two had known each other for several years now, him being the first person you met when your family moved to town when you were 13, and now you were inseparable. You and Eugene had just been together as a couple for about 9 months when he shipped out.

Seeing him off at the train station almost broke your heart entirely. Especially when he gave you that adorable half-smile of his standing out on the platform.

"You better not run off and find another gal on your way home when the war is over," you had said, in an attempt to lighten the mood, a small grin on your face.

"I'll try my hardest darlin'. Ain't nobody as pretty as you though, gotta make sure I come home so no one steals the prettiest girl in Mobile out from under me," Eugene smiles that smile that made you fall in love with him all over again, and your blush could be seen a mile away. The whistle of the train caught your attention and broke your smiles. It was time.

"Don't forget, mother and father want you over for supper every Sunday afternoon, and you can take Deacon on a walk anytime you like. Don't be shy, they love you," Eugene reminded you.

"I know, Gene. Thank you for reminding me, I'll make sure to give Deacon extra lovin' since you won't be there to spoil him." That dog had gone everywhere with you two the past few years, he had become like a child between the pair of you. You never saw you two without Deacon. The train whistle blew again, meaning it was time for Eugene to board. Tears had started to well up in your eyes, and Eugene pulled you into a tight embrace.

"Don't cry, sweetheart. I'll be back, I promise. I love you (Y/N)."

You hugged him back with everything in your body before pulling away.

"I love you too Eugene," your hands settled on his chest and his came up to cup your face, pulling your lips to his. You knew the next kiss shared between you two would a very long time from then, but you never thought it would be nearly 4 years later. In your heart, it felt like an eternity.

—

Life had been passing by, but not truly lived while Eugene was away. You had kept Gene's reminder in check, and you had supper with his family every Sunday evening and walked Deacon at least every other day. Since Eugene had been gone, you had moved out of your family's house into a small one bedroom house closer to town. It was exactly what you wanted, and everything you could ask for. Your parents had offered to help you purchase the small home, in exchange that you took classes at Alabama Polytechnic, and kept a small job. Three or four days out of the week after your last midday class, you were an assistant in the office at the elementary school downtown. You always loved seeing the kids during the school year, and when the summers rolled around, they always let you help out the rest of the staff with any repainting they did around the school. Most of the staff had gotten to know you, so they always tried to keep you busy and your thoughts off the constant worry in your mind.

To everyone else, it seemed as if you were doing just fine, but on the inside, you were a pile of shattered glass. Each waking moment was a struggle, every moment was filled with dread and worry. Your worst nightmare was hearing the news that no one wanted to hear, the news that made mothers, fathers, siblings, and significant others crash to their knees and weep. Each letter from Eugene was a small relief, but his letters were filled with glimpses into the hell he was living. He tried his hardest to spare you the gore and the hideous details of each day in the Pacific, but you knew he was struggling to keep it together. You did your best writing him back, you never wanted to glorify the quaint life of Mobile. That was a cruel thing to do to a man in war. Eugene's letters often came months late, and you may only receive one every 3-5 months. When you other best fried, Sidney Phillips returned from the Pacific, he did his best to comfort you when you were down. Although, he was still trying to help himself to recover from the horrors he had seen in the war himself. Since Sid's return home, you both decided to at least have lunch with each other once a week, usually every Tuesday. You were actually the one to help him get up the courage to finally ask Mary Houston it, a girl he had been pinning after since he was a young teenager. After a few months of them dating, Mary started joining you two for lunch, and you and her became friends. This became your routine, every Tuesday you three would meet at the little diner downtown, have lunch, talk, and enjoy each other's company. A year passed and one day, the couple sitting across from you couldn't stop smiling at each other. It warmed your heart to see them so happy together, but this affection was a little more than usual.

"Okay, you two," you giggle, setting your coffee cup down on the table in front of you, "y'all haven't stopped smiling at each other since you walked up. Something tells me that something is goin' on here that I just don't know about yet. You best spill the beans before I have to pull it out of ya."

They both laughed and Sid caught your gaze, a broad smile on his face. It clicked in your head and you already knew what he was about to say. A genuine smile spread across your cheeks, "Well Sid I hate to tell ya, but you might have a few men try to jump you when you announce that the Mary Houston is officially off the market for good." You all laughed and Mary gushed about how romantic it was when Sid asked her to marry him. Their engagement started a new branch of your life that helped you pull through each day. Mary began including you in things with her friends, and she always had a list of things to ask your opinion on each Tuesday. You never let the news break to Gene, Sid said he wanted to break the news to him himself, so you kindly agreed. You helped them plan their small engagement party, which was held at the new banquet hall down by the bay. That night, your heart ached that you couldn't have Eugene by your side, but you put a smile on your face for everyone. The wedding creating a new thread in life for you, which helped brighten your days. The couple decided to wait until the war was over to have the ceremony, mainly due to the fact that Sidney wanted Eugene to be his best man, even though you offered to wear one of Eugene's old suit coats over your dress and be a stand-in. He declined the offer, saying you were too pretty to be standing in for Eugene, that he needed the real deal.

Between the wedding planning, working at the elementary school, and attending college, before you knew it, another year had passed. You were painting a large cartoon farm in one of the halls at the elementary school when the news rang out on the radio nearby. The other ladies helping you paint went frantic.

"The war is over!"

"The troops are coming home!"

"No more war!"

You were stunned, the paintbrush still tight in your hand.

"(Y/n)! Aren't you excited, your lover boy is coming home!" That comment caught you, and the rest of the day, you couldn't wipe the smile off your face.

You called Sid the second you got home, questions flying from our lips. When do you think Gene would be home? Do you think he'll come straight home? You also told him to ask Mary what you should wear to the train station. He only laughed and said, "Slow down speedy, I don't know the answer to every question you've got now. We'll just have to hear from Gene first, he can answer more than I can. He might be rounded up for some cleanup work, so it could be another few months, but Mary said she'd come over tomorrow to help you find something."

Turns out a few months ended up being six before you finally got word from Eugene that he'd be home soon. You were ecstatic, well that was more of an understatement. Your mood improved, your smile brightened, and your heart ached less knowing Eugene would be returning home, alive. The exact date of Eugene's arrival was kept strictly between him and Sid, Eugene said he wanted it to be a surprise, which you hated. That boy was going to be the death of you as if he hadn't caused you any heart troubles already. Awaiting Eugene's arrival you tried to keep yourself busy instead of just staring out the window all day, and Eugene's mother was a huge help. It was currently a cool fall evening, you were at the Sledge household helping Mrs. Sledge do some cleaning. She was inside washing some of her glass plates and cups that she had on display in the dining room, and you were outside hanging freshly washed bedsheets, curtains, and other linens. Humming to yourself lightly, you hung up a bedsheet. The soft fabric flowing in the wind as you pinned the corners to the clothesline.

"(Y/N), dear! You have a visitor, I'm sending them out to you," Mary Frank's voice rang out from the back steps. You didn't bother shouting out a response, not wanting to try and yell across the yard. It was probably either Mary Houston or Sidney. Anytime they couldn't find you or get ahold of you, they always came here. You hang up the last sheet in your basket and smooth it out before you finally lookup. Your heart stops, and you freeze in your place. Through the sheets floating in the wind, you catch a glimpse of dark green moving towards you. Maybe I'm just seeing things, you thought.

"Gene," your voice is barely above a whisper, the words struggling to come out. The wind blows harder this time, the sheets floating through the air almost horizontal this time, and that's when you see all of him. The black shoes, the dark green pants, and coat, with a hat to match. He looks so different but just the same, all at the same time. His skin is tan, his shoulders are broader, and he stands taller than before. He makes his way to you, your breathing uneven, your hands shaking. Please don't be a dream, if it is, so help me God. Eugene stands a few feet from you now, that smile that you love so much appearing on his lips. You didn't think your heart could beat any quicker, but, oh boy, weren't you wrong.

"My mother tells me that I'd be able to find the prettiest girl in Mobile out here, you wouldn't happen to know her would ya?"

His voice was slightly deeper, rougher but it sends waves of comfort through you. A smile broke out on your face, a faint blush covering your cheeks. Before you knew it, your body lurched towards Eugene's and you had wrapped your arms around him in a hug. Tears rolled down your cheeks as Eugene gently pulled your head from his neck, using his thumbs to wipe the tears. "Don't waste those tears on me, I'm home now. You don't have to worry anymore darlin'."

"Ya know, Mitch Haygood kept asking me on a date at least once a month while you were gone, he made the mistake of catching me out with your mother about six months ago. Let's just say, he never asked again," you both broke out into giggles, both knowing how Eugene's mother can be.

"I'm glad she handled it so I wouldn't have to go give him a talking to when I got back. Can't have anyone stealing my girl when I'm away," Eugene replied looking down at you. He simply held you there after he spoke, just looking at you. His hands were cupped around your cheeks and jaw, his thumbs brushing your cheekbones. Your hands grip at the uniform cinched at his waist. His tongue reached out to quickly swipe across his lips. You hadn't kissed those lips in four years, and if you didn't soon you felt like your heart was going to jump out of your chest.

"You better kiss me, Eugene Sledge, before I go calling Mitch Haygood."

With a crack of that beautiful smile and a small rumble in his chest, Eugene replied, "Don't have to tell me twice, sweetheart."

Lola & Astrid

Lola: [come in to get your tattoo then, which is on the back of her neck/shoulder blade moment which isn't the worst but I think it vibrates on those bones pretty hard, also the embroidery technique/colour will make it worse/more time, overall vibe a sassy, confident bitch but lowkey nervous on this tattoo] Astrid: [I like to think she's already in there and probably has been for hours because whether it's big or small on this occasion they obvs let her stop whenever she wants and for as long as she wants cos they know her so we just chilling with the dog BFF who goes everywhere with her lowkey and both having a drink of water casually so the dog can go up to her like hey gal] Lola: [have loads of pictures of her with dogs and cats, so gonna say we're an animal hoe and gonna be extra over this lil dog then AFTER you've stroked and loved upon it 'Shit, I've not distracted it, have I? I'm so sorry' like when you aren't meant to with blind people service dogs] Astrid: [just straight up talking to this dog like she's a person like are you okay, do you wanna go and the dog's like nah I'm fine by giving a Lola a toy or something like I think we should play with this gal] Lola: [straight up throwing this toy like we aren't in a tattoo shop like please be careful, probably getting told off by a grumpy tattoo dude and just loling like whoops 'cos the kind of carefree hoe we are 'what's your name?' but we are talking to the dog] Astrid: [being like 'did you forget we like rules?' @ the dog as if she caused this trouble herself and full naming her like a cross mum but we not cross we're more playful about it because autistic bants] Lola: ['so distinguished, suits you madam' and shakes her paw, then touching one of Astrid's leg tattoos as is clearly ground level with this dog rn 'that's gorgeous, how many do you have?'] Astrid: [when you an affectionate af person but you don't know her like that so then you can't answer that question and she must think you're being so rude sorry gal, but let's say the tattoo person answers for you cos probably did most of them but not all so gets it wrong so then you have to answer whatever the right number is] Lola: [you really shouldn't grab people but that's the kinda hoe you are so that's the vibe lol, undeterred but do let go of her leg thanks, just talking about ALL the tattoo ideas you have] Astrid: [at least you can likewise go off about that babe because they are literally another thing you collect/comforts you and makes you feel safe so like you always wanna get more, try not to actually talk over her and listen but it's okay if you do, she'll get over it] Lola: [just listening intently anyway and bowing to her superior knowledge on it 'cos you wanna get more even though you have yet to start this one and are gonna be sobbing in a sec lolll, very seriously turning to the dog 'Winnie, will you hold my hand?' then turning back to Astrid and rolling her eyes 'my girlfriend was too shamed to be seen with me'] Astrid: [just going OFF about aftercare too before she's even started this tattoo because as far as you're concerned there is only one right way to do it and everything else is wrong and a huge no, the grumpy tattoo dude from earlier who Lola's gonna end up having is just gonna try and be like nah she's wrong, this this and this is fine but shh sir tbh. The dog just grinning through all this cos she's buzzing about the energy 'She's not ever going to be heavy enough for proprioceptive stimming but it's still calming when she lies with you, she's soft and she smells nice, does that make sense?' her confused face when she then doesn't understand what she means about her girlfriend not wanting to be here though like um why] Lola: [just ignoring the man like the true lesbian you are, be careful girl, nodding 'total sense, Miss Winifred is a vibe' and giving her an approving sniff like yes 'it smells like bleach in here' probably a good thing babe but we're not happy lol 'ugh, 'cos she's so tough and I'm going to embarrass her' shakes her head like oh girlfriends] Astrid: [repeating back to Winnie that she's a vibe because you like the sound of that thank you but whatever you're gonna say about how it smells in here is interrupted by grumpy tattoo dude complaining that it's because Astrid always has to OTT clean up the station etc and blah before they start, like don't out her like that sir and don't be a dick so we're not happy about his vibe rn] Lola: ['you should be happy she's doing the hard work for you' even though we were the one complaining about the smell, we're not about it] Astrid: ['he's not a happy person' hahaha suck it sir] Lola: ['that's so sad, what happened?' oh gal] Astrid: [just telling her this dude's life story like he's not right there because we don't understand sarcasm bye] Lola: [when you weren't even being sarcastic but you were not expecting her to reply and you know he's not gonna be thrilled so you put your finger to your lips like shh but smiling at her so she knows you aren't being a dick like stfu] Astrid: [being like oh do you want some quiet, like offering to get them to turn down the music they always blast in tattoo places] Lola: ['can we change the station?' like this rock shit is not a #vibe honey and getting out your phone and aux cord from your bag] Astrid: [just like 'it's not a vibe [name of your tattoo gal] can we change it to a vibe?' because we're saying vibe now and obvs this woman will cos she's a good egg] Lola: [putting on your femme gay girl bubblegum pop playlist like every other person in here/grumpy tattoo man is going to be taking the piss but we aren't aware 'cos we're that bitch and just dancing around like it's the clerb] Astrid: [Astrid and Winnie are vibing, picking this dog up like do you wanna dance lil queen as if we're not in the middle of a tattoo sesh] Lola: [hyping them up in a very yasss queen manner and then getting interrupted by this dude being like are you done pissing about and just twerking at him like mwah 😘 as you climb your ass up onto this bench, then being like 'WINNIE, I NEED YOU' very dramatically with grabby hands and all, this man like oh my god] Astrid: [we're loling at her antics and then putting Winnie on her lap because this angel will look after you gal so we can finally get some more of our own tattoo done] Lola: [good incentive not to drop this dog or shriek in her ears gal, 'cos gonna be so OTT about this pain obvs, all of this painting a picture as why your butch tatted gf did not wanna be here, just 🥺🥺🥺 at Astrid 'does it hurt you?' 'cos gf popping off like it doesn't which is a lie like when people say childbirth doesn't like admit it even if you can hack it] Astrid: ['not as much as other things' because we matter of fact about it instead of being like her girlfriend and pretending nothing is happening here] Lola: [we aren't really listening anyway just talking to talk here 'beauty is pain'] Astrid: [just repeating that like hmmm idk ' you're saying you feel more beautiful now, they'll want to put that on the signs outside'] Lola: ['They've got better promo' and giving Astrid's tattooist a look, 'cos the insecurity jumped out when pain] Astrid: [just going off about how much you like it here and you've told everyone about it like lol peeps have said they should pay me] Lola: ['yours are so cool' and asking her why she got that one and when etc etc] Astrid: [telling her everything even if like some of this shit is personal like tell me those roses aren't because of Ro you can't] Lola: [when you're an oversharer so you are 1. not phased by this 2. can say how this is for your abuela who's dying] Astrid: [genuinely is upset about this and asking loads of questions about her like obvs how old is she but also about her as a person and what she likes and how she was living before this] Lola: [we was already crying from the pain so you know, just carry on lmao, telling her that you live with her, that she's your only family and she's a bomb cook and she loves you even though you're gay and you go to bingo together on Thursdays] Astrid: [when you're just like are you gonna live with your girlfriend and cook together and go to bingo with her] Lola: ['I don't know' big sigh 'Do you live with your dad?'] Astrid: [hardcore like BUT WHAT WILL YOU DO because we're so upset about this like we can't answer your question until we get one that's okay here] Lola: [reaching over like hey it's okay 'I'll work it out'] Astrid: [just like oh yeah I do live with my dad btw after ages has passed and she's probably forgot she even asked but we needed a sec there] Lola: ['what's he like?'] Astrid: ['he's weird but not like I'm weird, just not how everyone says a dad should be-' trying to find a way to word wtf Drew is like lol 'he doesn't like rules or keeping things clean oh and he's a really shit driver who plays music too loud and he dresses too young'] Lola: ['sounds like every dude I've ever met' lols, wiping her tears 'has he always been like that or is it a midlife crisis moment?'] Astrid: [lols too because oh Drew you hot mess 'he fell out of his pram and wasn't claimed for 7 days'] Lola: [nods solemnly 'mine too'] Astrid: ['but he makes sure my food doesn't touch and never makes me eat anything I know will be fucking gross and he took me to go get Winnie' like but I do love him] Lola: [gives Winnie love and smiles 'not all bad then' pauses 'mine used to take me to ballet, and never get bored of me showing him my routines'] Astrid: [just going off about this Barbie ballet movie called Barbie and the pink shoes like have you seen it because I figure why not have dolls as a special interest, thanks Ro, though she'd fuck with Bratz and Monster High more] Lola: [talking about the red shoes 'cos assumedly what it is based on and saying you'll look up the Barbie version online 'when Ren is at work'] Astrid: [just chatting about it to the point that she doesn't even need to see it cos you've told her everything but letting her know that Barbie isn't your fave and making sure she knows what you fuck with more like this is vital info okay] Lola: ['Like Yasmin is technically the Hispanic queen like me but I do be looking more Jade and she fucks with cats so ME' 'cos definitely a girl who was into dolls and the bratz are making a resurgence in the culture anyway huns] Astrid: [we're living a life where we only accept the OG's so of course she gotta be that blonde hun who is described as wide-eyed and bubbly and loves her friends more than anything in the world so pop off but we not fucking with soccer and we gotta let Lola know] Lola: ['I see it' like just being like you're an angel there nbd] Astrid: [being like I do support cheese pizza ONLY but thai curry wtf] Lola: [loling like 'food isn't food unless it has at least two carbs and all the cheese you can throw at it'] Astrid: [just listing off everything Jade likes in the known world like do you like these things or no] Lola: [replying like this is a vogue 73 questions I bet tattoo dude is delighted lol] Astrid: [we're having fun here sir excuse you] Lola: ['do you have a Jade in your group already?'] Astrid: [The calming force that she is, Winnie is the group's Yasmin, she can handle a sob story, as you've seen so that's wrong' looks at her like soz gal I know you're offended 'my other best friend is most like Sasha, I don't know if I'm allowed to say that when she isn't black though'] Lola: [looks around at how white everyone here deffo is like I won't tell on you, claps her hands like yay 'we can be friends then'] Astrid: [when you're clearly buzzing about this, giving her your phone like this is my number take it thank you] Lola: [saves it as angel, oh that won't cause any drama with your gf no no lol, taking the tattoo dudes biro or whatever and being like hold out your hand? but thankfully NOT just doing it 'cos she may not vibe gal] Astrid: [at first is like ?? because hasn't connected the dots of what she wants her to do and why but then is like oh okay and does] Lola: [being like to the tattoo lady 'now make it permanent' loling like hohoho] Astrid: [loling 'when I know you better' like we considering this] Lola: [so flattered like omg me and blowing kisses] Astrid: [gotta get some more water cos we recognising that we're getting a bit too buzzing rn so obvs asking her if she wants some] Lola: [just like lifesaver 'cos we been crying so hard over here lol] Astrid: [gotta get some for Winnie too even if she don't want because that's a routine hun] Lola: [live your best life babe you deserve it] Astrid: [let's say her tattoo is then finally done and she abruptly leaves like it was nice to meet you I gotta go now bye because it kills me how they all did that on that show every time] Lola: [the only time you've been shooketh 'cos you'd be a hang around saying bye for ages bitch] Lola: WHERE DID YOU GO?! Astrid: hOmE Astrid: is YOuR tattOO fiNishED? Lola: [sends a progress picture she's made that man take lol] Astrid: 25-30 miNS leFT Lola: yeah? Lola: 🙌 I am about to PEE my pants Astrid: iT'LL bE lONgEr wiTH BreAks but YOu Wont bE alloWED bacK iF yOu dONt TakE oNE foR THaT Lola: 😄 I did a little but we've had no leaks Lola: got my big girl panties on Astrid: 👙 is A GooD iDeA tOooooOOOOO Lola: so NOT letting him do my underboob though Astrid: nO ⛔ no ⛔ Lola: the chick you were with seemed kinda cool though Lola: not gonna write off the whole shop Astrid: 🌟 ✨ sHE MAkEs me fEEL coMFoRTaBLe 🌟 ✨ Astrid: thE reVIeW Astrid: & thE VIBE Lola: love that Lola: don't know how he can do such colourful work and be so sad ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Astrid: van GOGH? Astrid: 🌻🌻🌻🌻👂💛💛 Lola: 🤯🤯🤯 Astrid: Do thEy ShARE a SOUL doEs thAT maKE senSE? Astrid: hMMMM Lola: reincarnation baby Astrid: dO you BEliEVE in it? Astrid: a BIG quESTion Lola: I think it's technically a ❌❌❌ Lola: but I think it's cool Lola: like past lives, all the AMAZING people in history you could've been Astrid: I DonT unDERstAnd wHY is iT ❌❌❌ if YoU liKE iT? Lola: Jesus and Abuela 💘 Lola: 💀 is very important to us Astrid: oHhhhhhhH Astrid: hEAvEn ☁👼☁ Astrid: mY muM taUGHt mE about THat Lola: 🧹🌻🦋🌞🍞 Lola: we believe souls come back, but not as other people, always themselves, even if they take a different form Lola: and they come back all the time, though Jesus hasn't come back YET Astrid: 👻👻👻👻 Lola: I can do an offering for your mum if you like Astrid: shE woULdNT coMe bACK for 🍞 Astrid: wHaT ElSe can THey be? Lola: you can put all the person's favourite things on their altar, you can skip the bread Astrid: 🕯🌹🕯🩺🕯🥀🕯🦴 Lola: wouldn't look out of place Astrid: sHe LiKEd DollS tooOOOO but thERe's No emoJi?? Lola: that's so RUDE Lola: did she get you into dolls, what was the first one you got? Astrid: 🧚🏻 thoUGH & 🔮 & 🧙🏼 Astrid: [sends her a picture of some creepy doll because of course she still has it and cue a huge ramble about everything possible about this doll like soz gal you didn't ask for that level of detail] Lola: looks like la catrina's 👶 Lola: I like it Lola: what doll would your mum be? Astrid: [when you disappear forever lowkey to do all the research you can about that just falling down a rabbit hole without saying bye] Astrid: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 💀❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Astrid: eVErYoNE is EqUAL in tHE eND Astrid: loVE that Lola: right?! Lola: we STAN an inclusive queen Astrid: caNT waIT tO TeLl mY otHER bFf she is GOiNg to bE so ExCitEd Lola: do you bake? I will send you a recipe for some sugar 💀 cookies Lola: i always loved decorating them Lola: and eating them, duh 😋 Astrid: I dOnT know hOw TO dO that Astrid: ❌❌❌ Lola: I can make them, if you wanna meet up again Lola: or come teach you, that would be fun Astrid: here? Lola: if you want Lola: you could come to mine but you'd have to meet abuela and that might be a LOT ??? Astrid: iTs nOT a ⛔ no if weRe frIeNds Astrid: i THinK yoU couLD bE heRE Lola: I'm a good guy, I promise Lola: I'll be super polite and say please and thank you and take my shoes off Astrid: buT 🍭 🍬 🧁  🍫 🍩 🍪 🍨  wILl maKE mY mum 😢 oR 😡 iF sHE is a 👻 Astrid: 🤫 Lola: it's all about celebrating life anyways Lola: what's better than tasty food Lola: my mother was the same though Lola: but abuela loved food because it made people 😄🥰 she didn't care if it made you fat too Lola: plenty of time to be 💀🦴s Astrid: hMMMmmm Astrid: 👌 Astrid: I wAnt to BE 😄🥰 Lola: maybe your friend would like some too Lola: not Miss Winnie though, too much sugar for 🐶 Astrid: IlL exPLain Astrid: sheS vERY 🤓 Astrid: thATs sMArt noT an INsult Lola: I could tell Lola: I very much enjoyed meeting her Astrid: & mE? Lola: OF COURSE you, gurl Lola: you were so nice and helpful Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Astrid: thANKs Lola: you're welcome ❣️ Lola: are you from here, I like your name, it's unusual Astrid: I dOnT liKE to bE reFErRed tO bY it Astrid: it maKEs mE FeeL liKe PeOPLe ARe 😤 😠 😡 Lola: oh no, I'm sorry Lola: is there anything you would like me to call you instead? Astrid: ...... Astrid: I doNt KnOw Lola: no probs Lola: don't need to call you anything we'll manage just fine without 🙃 Astrid: iS thAt aN oKaY anSWer? Lola: of course it is! Lola: it wouldn't be okay for me to call you a name you didn't like, that's just rude Lola: my gf HATES the name she got as a 👶 so she changed it Astrid: liKe @ scHoOL Astrid: I goT caLLed loAds of namES thERE Astrid: 👿 👹 👺 🤡 💩 👻 💀 ☠️ 👽 👾 🤖 🎃 Lola: 😢👎 Lola: school SUCKED Lola: you're cool Astrid: thEy jUsT doNt unDERsTand mY 🧠 Astrid: mE eiTHeR mE eiTHeR Lola: who does Lola: still don't have to be a 🍆 Astrid: eVErYoNE is EqUAL in tHE eND Astrid: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 💀❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Lola: that's what I'm talking about Astrid: yOu aRe GoiNg To LikE mY aUntY 🧠 ❤ 👀 Astrid: bUt U CaNt bRInG hEr HeRE foR 💀🍪 Lola: why not? Astrid: mY DaD & hER ❌❌❌ Lola: family drama Lola: say no more Lola: abuela only talks about my mother when she wants to cuss her out, and that's her daughter so 🤷 Astrid: hEs BaD buT nOT to ME? I doNt unDERstAnd hoW thAT iS suPposED to maKE seNse Lola: you're special to him Astrid: BuT whY aREnt my SiSTeRs sPEcial toOOOo? Astrid: beCausE theIR muMs aRE dIFFeRenT or Astrid: my BrOThEr haS anOTher DiffErent mUm agaIN Astrid: itS conFUsinG Lola: people are a lot of different things all at once, I think Lola: they don't all fit together right, it is confusing Astrid: wHEn yoU DiE aRE yOU NoOOO thiNGs Or moRE thinGS? Lola: Hmm Lola: I think more Lola: everything, and then the missing pieces make it all make sense Astrid: maybe they ARe tOOOoo sPEciAl then, THaT sisTER & ThOse mums dAD canT DeaL Astrid: hmmM Lola: could be Lola: being dead is meant to be easier than being alive, but it isn't perfect Astrid: & mY OthEr SisTER diDnt diE whEn sHe NeaRLY diD sO mAYBe heS coNFuSed AbOUT THat Lola: could you ask him? Lola: or would he be 😢 or 😡? Astrid: heS not my TaLking To pErsoN heS mY DoinG peRsOn Lola: that's important too Lola: sometimes it's actually better not having the answers Astrid: I sHOULDvE saID that @ scHOol Astrid: BettER not HAVinG thE anSWERS sORRy Lola: 😅 Lola: if ONLY Lola: I wouldn't say ANYTHING at school Astrid: I diDnT taLk unTiL aFter my mUm dIeD Astrid: moSTlY Lola: at all? Astrid: ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Lola: did you talk to your dad? Astrid: somE WoRdS Lola: the rest you just got what you needed in other ways Lola: that's cool Astrid: i THiNk it waS BaD oF mE Astrid: maYbe Astrid: .... Lola: but was it bad for you Lola: that's the important thing Lola: its frustrating when people don't understand you, but people get frustrated when they don't understand, even though they might not still when you tell them with words Astrid: iS thAT wHy yOU didNT talK @ sChooL? Lola: i took up too much space just being there Lola: without taking up the 💬 too Astrid: tOo muCh Space Astrid: hmmM Lola: that's what they thought Lola: basically Astrid: pEoPLe DoNt unDErstaND yOu Astrid: how mUch spaCE yoU neEd Lola: they don't like it ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Lola: i'm not trying to take other people's space though Astrid: tOO muCH iS ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Astrid: toOOOo mUch AnyTHiNG Lola: it is? Astrid: ItS 😢 or 😡 Astrid: itS beInG weIRd Lola: there's no such thing as too much 🐶😸 though Astrid: NeVEr!! Lola: exactly Lola: don't think there's any rules that you can stick to everything Lola: always exceptions Astrid: I wriTE liKe thIs beCauSe thOse rULes are Boring Astrid: loAdS of RulEs doNt maKe sEnSe Lola: I like how you write Lola: it's more interesting to read Astrid: yOu cAn Do iT toO if You waNT Lola: really? Lola: thanks, I'll try it out 😄 Lola: ITs actUallLY REAlLY hARd tO Be TOtallY raNDoM Lola: oTHER New RuLES poP UP in YOuR hEaD Astrid: ItS a VIBE Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Lola: tOTAlLy Lola: LikE THOse nEwSPApEr RAnsOM notEs Lola: aEStheTIc Astrid: ??? Lola: you know in films, when a killer or a kidnapper sends the person a note, they cut up bits of newspapers and magazines so the note is all different fonts and sizes and stuff Lola: [examples Lola: I liKE ThAT LOooooooOOoOKk Astrid: OhHH WoW Astrid: cAn I sEnD YoU onE? Lola: THaTs whaT IT RemINDS mE OF Lola: UM yeS Astrid: TheY dO it So NoBoDy knowS itS from THem YeaH? Astrid: hoW wiLL you Know ItS from mE? Lola: YEah Lola: do the outside of it normal, so the postman isn't 😱 Lola: I nEVEr GeT 💌 Astrid: do the outside of it normal, so the postman isn't scared Astrid: do the outside of it normal, like this Lola: [her address] there you go Lola: a stamp and it'll be perfect Astrid: ThiS is ReAllY whERe U Live? Astrid: I knoW whEre tHiS is Lola: you do? Astrid: yEAH Astrid: itS By a SHop I lIkE Lola: maybe you could show me 🙃 Astrid: I JuST geT 🍓 thEn I LeAVe Astrid: thEY haVe to Be from ThEre Astrid: a RuLe Lola: nOW i waNt TO tRy SomE Astrid: diD yoUr GirLfrIEnD liKE youR TaTTOo? Astrid: I caNt STop THinkiNG aBoUT iT Lola: She lIKEs 🖤 🤍 bUT I seNT hEr ThE piC & She SAid wAs cUUUUUuUuUUuUuTeeeeeeE Astrid: iS shE gONna coMe wiTh yOU neXT timE? Lola: mAYb ❓🤔 Astrid: tHats noT 🖤 🤍 Astrid: sHe shOUld saY yeAH oR NO Lola: TrUuUuuUuUUUUUUUu Lola: I'll tell her Astrid: Do YoU lIkE haVinG a girlFRieND? Lola: 🤗 & 😘 R gOoOOoddD Astrid: ❓🤔 Lola: you like hugs and kisses? Astrid: PlaTOnic is DiFFeRent Astrid: i LikE theM thOUgh Lola: yeah Lola: with a girlfriend, you just get them all the time Astrid: ? ShE dOeSnt asK you ? Lola: she doesn't need to Lola: if I said stop she would Lola: it's just nice having a person around, is what I meant 🙃 Astrid: 👌 thAT maKEs SeNse Lola: do you like 🧑 or 👩 or none or both Astrid: 👩 👩🏻 👩🏽 👩🏾 👩🏿 Lola: hi-5 Lola: me too 😄 Astrid: but i DoNt have a GIRLfrieNd Lola: would you like one? Lola: we could go out 💃💃 Astrid: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Astrid: yeAh Astrid: yOuRe a GooD 💃 Lola: YOU TOO ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Lola: I KNOW A BAR THAT WOULD LET WINNIE IN Astrid: yOU dO????????? Lola: i KNow tHe OWneR Lola: heS SO coOL Lola: and he has his own dog Finola who sings with him Astrid: I diDNT knOw dOGs coULd sING Astrid: WiNNie coULd hAVE a SeCRET talENt Lola: they do somewhere over the 🌈 it's very good Astrid: wheN cAN we Go? Lola: 😄 When are you free? this weekend? Astrid: FriDAY Lola: 👏 let's DO IT Astrid: 🕐 🕑 🕒 🕓 🕔 🕕 🕖 🕗 🕘 🕙 🕚 🕛 🕜 🕝 🕞 🕟 🕠 🕡 🕢 🕣 🕤 🕥 🕦 🕧 Astrid: ? Lola: 🤔 8? Astrid: To bE @ yOUr hOUse oR ThEre? Lola: we could get 🍓s first and eat them in the park Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 Lola: 🙌 IT'LL BE FUN Astrid: WeRe bOTh eXciTed Astrid: 😆 Lola: 💃💃💃 Lola: have to plan my outfit Astrid: I liKeD uR ouTfit yOu werE weaRing Lola: you're so 🍧 🍨 🍦 🥧 🧁 🍰 🎂 🍮 🍭 🍬 🍫 🍿 🍩 🍪 thank you 😚 Lola: you looked amazing Astrid: I nEEd to dyE mY haiR a new ColOur Lola: have you done every colour??? Astrid: ⛔❌ 🖤 🤎 Lola: boring in comparison to the rest of the 🌈 Astrid: & hARd to GEt Out ❤️ & 💜 sTAY TooOO bUT thEY caN bE maDE inTo a PaTTeRN sO its Not 😢 oR 😠 Lola: 🦜 Astrid: BiRdS aRE weiRD Astrid: mY AunTy haS 🐓 & I ONLy liKE thEm WhEn TheYrE 🐤 🐣 🐥 Lola: DOES SHE HAVE ANY BABIES RIGHT NOW Astrid: yEaH Astrid: thEyre sOFt Lola: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that's so cuteee Astrid: doNt be sad shE wonT eaT thEM Lola: but i don't have any🐤 🐣 🐥 Astrid: IlL aSk heR iF you CAn Lola: our apartment is tiny Lola: wouldn't be fair for the poor chickie Astrid: YoU cOuLd VisIt THem Lola: I'll have to buy some 🌽 too Astrid: TheYll be YouR FRIEnds ToooOOOOo Astrid: loVe ThAT Lola: new friends are always welcome Lola: especially fluffy ones Astrid: WiNNie aGReeS Astrid: & saYs dOnT foRGet sheS the FLUFFiest Astrid: she gETs JeaLOUs Lola: 🤭 Lola: of course Lola: she's a babe Astrid: evERYoNe saYs I was wHEn mY brOTHer waS a 👶 bUT i Dont remeMBEr thaT Lola: aw, you helped out? Lola: that's so cute Astrid: 👶 NeED lOAds of HeLp Astrid: haVE yOu EVer heLd onE? TheY caNt suPPOrt their Own HeaDs Astrid: itS wilD Lola: I've actually never held a baby Lola: or really met one, which is weird, I'd never thought about that Astrid: !!!!!!!! Astrid: My FamILY iS SoooOOOOO BiG Astrid: 👶👶🏻👶🏼👶🏽👶🏾 Lola: do you like it? what's good and what's bad? Astrid: YoU aRenT evER aLOne Astrid: thatS gOod OR Bad Astrid: Good & BAD Lola: I can picture that Astrid: bUT itS FUn & LOud Astrid: you LiKe hugS so Youd likE it Lola: yeah Lola: I think so Lola: abuela was from a big family Lola: but it's just us here Astrid: WhERe aRE TheY aLL? Lola: her family? Lola: mostly dead Lola: the ones she would've known, sisters, brothers Lola: their kids are probably still in Mexico but she doesn't know any of them properly Astrid: Im SoRrY Lola: you don't have to be sorry Astrid: ItS saD fOR hER Astrid: I mEAn Lola: yeah Lola: she left a lot behind Lola: but she's been happy here Astrid: & YoURE haPPy? Lola: mostly and most days Lola: not 🖤 & 🤍 Astrid: nOT 🖤 & 🤍 Lola: nothing is ever perfect, is it Astrid: mAyBe WinniE is Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Lola: I am willing to believe that and let her have it too 💝🐶 Astrid: [a happy picture of this dog like thank you I'm buzzing] Lola: an angel Lola: or princess, I should say Astrid: [a picture of this dog with some kind of tiara moment on because of course we can] Lola: 🙇 Lola: I'll find mine when I get home Astrid: YoU hAve One? Lola: duh gurl Lola: it's a vibe Lola: 👑🌈💃😘 Astrid: iT is A Vibe Lola: you know a vibe when you 👀 one Lola: i CaN TeLL Astrid: I haVE tO gO Astrid: doNT fORget FriDAY Astrid: @ 8 Astrid: 🍓!! Lola: Oh, okay Lola: Looking forward to it ✨

But My Love, This Cannot Be pt. 1

Mr M (Brian May) x Tomboy!Reader x Mr R (Roger Taylor) Time Travelling reader AU imagine

>>The continuation of Many Years Away. I strongly encourage new readers to read the previous Imagine and fully immerse yourself first before continuing because the story is escalating. Also, yes, this is a two-parter as I got too carried away explaining some details ._.

Tagging peeps that want the continuation~; @ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark @tini-monster

ENJOY!

Small recap; you’re a college student from twenty thirty-nine. Worked in a guitar store and as a session musician in a big recording studio near your flat. You have an odd dream of being in nineteen seventy-three and becomes May and Deacon’s best friend, which are your guitar heroes from the legendary rock band, Queen. But when you wake up, you actually have to work with Brian May. After showing your guitar and bass skills to him, he says; “Perfect. Sounds just like yesterday…”

Your days were never been more perfect than today. “Thank you, sir. You’re a very big influence on my entire career.”

“Just call me, May. We’re going to work together again anyway.”

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I respect you too much to just call you like an old friend, sir.” You say, purposely ignoring the last bit of his sentence. Although you have some suspicion,

“But we are.”

“Whatever do you mean—?”

“Were you not to told me you’re from twenty thirty-nine, how would I be here? Specifically picking you? Let alone wrote ‘39? You even play, dress, and worked as a session musician, exactly like that day. It’s already impossible to forget, now it feels like we’re still in that awful studio, taping, the way you cannot seems to stop calling it. Annoyed Rog so much he throws his sticks at you. How many times was it?”

“… May?”

“You’ve missed many of our plays. John misses you, y/n. And so am I. Much more than you can imagine.”

Both of you catching up right after you got the chance to talk in private. At first, May cannot stop telling you how much he missed you, how much he cannot believe when the producer recommended you as a backup, the fact that you are indeed a time traveller. He’s trying his best to fulfil your last wish before you disintegrated; to be happy and live his life. “And to always remember you,”

You still don’t believe it, neither did he. But what for you was in a blink of an eye, for him it was almost sixty-five years. Whilst you wonder why are you time travelling, do the others know? How is Deacon? You can’t help but notice that May has been fidgeting, and when you mentioned Deacon or Taylor or Mercury, he looks a bit displeased, but he answered anyway,

“To stop the questions on your whereabouts, I simply told them that you might be too caught up in family issues and cannot come back.” At first, they’re looking for you whenever they got the time; especially Deacon, to the point that it depresses him greatly. Deacon doesn’t know you’re actually no longer existed, but May does, and it destroys him daily. Eventually, they accepted that they’re forever lost contact with you,

But things still don’t add up. How do you do that? To time travel? “You should know better than I do, May. You’re an actual scientist. Even in sixty-five years, it shouldn’t be possible to time travel yet, undoubtedly?” You wondered after both of you finally get the chance to talk again post-recording. “That’s a good question,”

He promises that the two of you will meet again to discuss it, for, unfortunately, his schedule was full this month. He said that he has dinner with his family, a birthday party; much it is to break your heart alone that you remember, he has a wife, kids, and grandkids. “Understood. Be careful on your way home, May. I will be right here,”

You pondered; do May still see you the same way? Surely he has moved on from your departure. And just thinking about that fact makes you a bit sad, how you stuck in time all by your lonesome. Why does that have to happen to you? What is actually going on? What did you do? … It was the cassette. You remembered you are listening to it before you're asleep last week, and then woke up in nineteen seventy-three. That cassette also the reason why you're back here. You’re uncertain whether you should listen to it again, but you made sure to tell May about it,

You’re still not unsure how listening to the cassette could make you travel back and forth in time. You go back to the music store from where you bought it. The clerk says that a man sold it there for a cheap price and later on the same day you buy it. The clerk—an acquaintance of yours, only knows that the man is middle-aged and since haven’t been seen. He can’t remember how the man looks, his memories are weirdly blurred when that happens. “Maybe I was hungover still. Don't tell my manager,”

After recording the next month, May inspects the cassette. He remembered that cassette, it’s Queen’s debut album after all, and one of the first few copies. He’s still quite happy when you come to him and ask him to be the first one to sign your copy. Although you never told him that Taylor was actually the one received the honour, but the bastard returns it to the sender with a note; only going sign it after you introduce him to this pretty bombshell that works in the same music store with you—the gal that already has a girlfriend. He ended up signing it from the peer-pressure given by his bandmates six months later,

“The process was unbelievably slow and painful. The hallucination becomes very vivid to the point that I might’ve been just in two different worlds at once, but stuck in the middle,” you explained. “I’m afraid I will be time travelling again if I listened to it.” “It looks like a normal cassette,” May noted, “although I haven’t seen that many cassettes for a long time. Highly probable that there’s difference cannot be seen with naked eyes,”

“Perhaps I should try and listen to it?” You suggested, “you can see how it works on me.” At first, he’s pretty much against it due to safety. But you reason that the process most likely won't escalate if you didn't tell him about it, someone that's correlated directly with the cassette You wish to gain as many information as possible to help the research later. Also to further prove that you are indeed could time travel. “My first priority will be getting this cassette to travel back here. Make it as short of a trip as possible,”

“Is that all?” He asks, but you only shrug. “Yes. I shan’t try to change things. Instead, I'll collect photographs, tapes, and some other legit proves about my existence in that year that you—or someone—could keep until exactly today. Look for more clues and blends in. Maybe there's more to this cassette when I first bought it in the seventies.” “Why?” “Because we should stop and hide this time travelling business that could potentially harm many people,"

“No. Why don’t you want to change things?”

“Why, May, I don’t belong in seven-thirties, I belong today. Before this trainwreck happens, my life is just a store clerk and a musician and a college student. Idolizing and to be like you. But you shouldn’t know about me at all; we’ve never met.”

“Yes, that’s how it is, before. But now that you have the power to change the history, why don’t you change it?”

“Why should I? What if that’s the cause in the first place? That someone has done it before and sold the cassette to forget about it, and now it happens to me? Besides, I am content with what I am today.”

“Surely?” He pleaded. That’s when you realised what he meant. There might be a huge doubt in your heart, but you have made up your mind. You know there’s no use to lie in front of the smart May, still, you did, and explained that you have no right to change things, whatever causes you to have such power. He respects your decision in the end. “What matters right now is finding how this works. We can stress about that later.” You closed the discussion,

Back to the cassette, you bought your priced vintage portable cassette player. You put on the headphone, waiting for May as he prepares the papers and pen, and making sure the camera is recording; so he can see and deduce how it works based on your reactions later. Unfortunately, by the time the music start, you passed out in an instant. When you are awake, however, you feel incredibly dizzy,

You don't remember what you've been dreaming, but it's something very real… Of someone. You promised someone that you'll buy… Something to go back? To buy them something? It's about music—perhaps a record? A cassette… It was a cassette! But for whom? And what cassette? You promised someone that you'll buy them a cassette—oh! Now you remember! You're supposed to bring your demo cassette to the new recording studio so that you can be a permanent session musician with Jordan!

You saw the clock on the wall and realised you're awfully late already! You quickly change your clothes and ran to the new recording studio. You're in so much hurry that you flung yourself out of the way of someone that's coming in your direction; nearly breaks your cassettes but magnificently hurt your own arse in the process—at least you didn't hurt whomever passerby you almost shouldered out the Earth,

“I'm so sorry! I didn't see there was someone around the corner!” A man profusely apologizing as he reached down and help gather your belongings. “Not to worry! I will be the one beaten by my boss! Have a good day, sir!” You told him whilst you put everything as fast as you can in your arm, although you can't help but notice that the man is a bit striking with his kinky brunette hair and a tall, skinny body. A familiar sight, you have to say, though you have no time to confirm it and simply continue running past his blonde girlfriend,

No matter whether the band wasn't ever here yet or to witness his glorious cracking voice, the producer took the liberty to be as loud and as merciless as he could when he yelled at you. He even pointed at your cracked cassette as you, apparently, left the good copy by the road; a disgraceful sign of the shit he and Jukebox—the band—has to listen to today. “You're lucky Jordan recommended you, or I might fire you on the spot,”

You try your best to hide the smug smile you had when Jukebox is visibly impressed by your skills, completely ignored the producer biased opinions. Despite witnessing your win, you're not ringed on the day where Jukebox supposedly taping. “Yeah. But you don't have to come. In the end, I didn’t do anything.” Jordan answered after you ask if he was ringed. That's odd. Not being ringed today… Weirdly doesn't feel right. As if you're supposed to get ringed in as a backup even though you're not doing anything. You later simply shrug it off, thinking maybe you're still quite upset the producer is so against you,

But it doesn't end there; once you did get ringed, you feel that odd tug again in the bottom of your heart. Relieved as though this indeed supposed to happen, that things are going back on track. When you've arrived, however, new curious thing hits you like a truck and tops every gut feelings you've felt these past weeks—you saw that tall man with the kinky hair again, in the studio, with his blonde girlfriend… Wait, the blue-eyed gal is a man! He's the drummer,

“They're the new band that had been using the studio past the taping schedule,” Jordan explained. “Name is Queen.” That's it! When you heard that name, you don't know why you instantly recognize them; vocalist Freddie Mercury, bassist John Deacon, drummer Roger Taylor, and… Guitarist Brian May. “You might've heard of them when we're out hanging in the clubs.” Oh, alright. Now that makes sense, but still, that fact doesn't satisfy you, there's supposed to be more to it, but again, you didn't bother…

In your mind you thought; “Alright, what the fuck is going on? Why did I have been feeling endless déjà vu since this morning?”. That reaction immediately sparked after you play both your guitar and bass since Dorian—Jukebox’s guitarist—broken his fingers from partying too hard, and the fact that Loui—the vocalist, told you to just straight up play the bass as well since you’re obviously skilled enough. And then come May and Taylor forward; they practically approach you straight up to comment on your skills after Jukebox taping is over,

That feeling like things doesn’t go right now is much clearer for you to identify; the fact that you expect May and another Queen member to came to you, but Taylor isn’t supposed to be the other one. Or that Taylor is the one that gives comment and praises your skills instead of May. Rather, May only apologizes about the previous incident and mostly listens to your answer for Taylor’s barrage of questions,

“We would like for you to watch us taping,” May insisted, desperately. “You should watch them taping, yes. They’re good.” Jordan agrees. “If the three of you said that word again, I will deck all of ya’,” shouted Taylor from behind his drum set. “What? Taping?” You received two sticks directly at your shoulder; thrown at full speed. Whilst Jordan and Deacon scolded Taylor for being rude to a woman—Taylor thought you were a guy with “uniquely progressive” fashion choice up until that point. Instead of anger, you, Taylor, and May laugh. There’s this familiar humour that tingles you and made you question why you find it funny instead of rude?

You try your best to convince yourself that you are indeed, perhaps, watched them play on a stage in one of the college gigs you attended or in any music clubs. But no. Their play is far too familiar—in a sense that as if you've been stalking them since the day they made Queen. The fact that you’re supposed to listen to them the day you’re not ringed when Jordan does makes you very upset—again for no reason; as to why you know you should have listened to them already despite finding them as familiar as the palm of your left hand, and for the fact that you think things have been nothing but a line of wrongness,

“Yeah, I really can’t. This is the third Saturday of the month, I have dinner with grandma.” You told the musicians when Jordan and May ask you to have dinner with them at the nearest pub. Jordan immediately put you into his hug that at first surprised you, but then he said; “Mate, your grandma’s been dead for two years. Let go.” “What the bloody hell are you—she’s alive!” Then it hits you. What he’s saying is right, you even remembered crying your eyes out as he hugs your shoulder. You think; “No. This is far too wrong. Something isn’t right. My mind and memory are fucking me up.”

“You’re right. Maybe that’s why I need to go home.” You resigned weakly, “have fun boys. You will be taping again tomorrow, correct? I will come and see if you don’t mind.” You could hear a subtle worried whisper asking “Is she alright?” which you presumed came from May,

Once you’ve locked the door, you quickly discard your coat away and sat on the cold floor. You try to think so very hard about the madness you’ve been through, that your stomach is swirling by itself trying to tell you what is right what is wrong without further made clear where it steers you to. Then you grab a pen and crumpled paper, write down the right-wrong things your own body trying to tell you; One, when you bumped with May and you felt like he’s your old middle school friend that lost contact with you. Two, you know that even Jordan doesn’t do anything when ringed in, but the fact you’re not even ringed upsets you greatly. Three, when you’re finally ringed; it feels so right. Four, the fact that there’s Queen and you feels like you’ve known them since their first debut gig. Five, that May and Taylor came to you and complimented your skills. And Six, your grandma. Your heart and gut declared that she’s indeed still alive, but your brain emotionlessly tells you that you attended her funeral shitfaced and simply still can’t get over it in two years straight,

After listing all of them and that particularly peculiar day ends, you decided that if you feel it again, you will investigate it further. One more to the list; Seven, the cassette. The cassette your brain trying to remember was not your demo cassette, it was something else—precisely about buying it, but for whom you still have no clue,

Since the day you met Queen, you have been watching and aid them taping. The weird feeling is gone, and you’re very grateful. You, May, and Taylor quickly becoming a best friend; you don't know why you're best friend with Taylor, though. Taylor occasionally casually chipping in—mostly because he throws his sticks at you for you seems to cannot stop using the wrong term; plays for gigs, taping for recording, at this point you continue doing it because you know it pisses him off,

“You’re going back to the campus after this, y/n?” Ask Deacon, you nodded in response. “Why, aren’t you model student? Be cool, hang with us more. Maybe you can hook with one of us.” Mocked Taylor as he sits next to Deacon. You happen to have lunch with them since they’re finally back in London after their debut album tour. “I have to be a model student for myself. Thesis incoming. That’s why I can’t help you with your next album.” You explained, completely ignoring Taylor's suggestion. “Never crossed my mind to ask you about it, but what’s your major?” May inquired. “Astro—,” you scrunch your nose as you think, “music.” You answered, finally. There it is, the weird feeling is back,

“Bri was Astrophysics. Never knew there's another major, what? Astromusic? That sounds cool. And how come you forget about it?” Taylor jokes again. “Wait, so that means you can’t tag long for our next tour?” You shake your head, continue eating. “That’s very unfortunate,” May sighed deeply, you can only shrug. "Listen to our cassettes if you miss us, love. Don’t worry, I will miss ya.” He said with a wink. Your spoon stopped mid-way as you quickly look at Taylor that’s being smacked by May and Deacon for some reason,

“What? You’ve forgotten to hook me with the shag? Don’t you want me to sign your cassette? Or you instead want to hook with me?” Your eyes widened as you dropped your spoon, which causes a confused reaction from the boys. “What cassette?” You queried, now this makes both Taylor and May shows expression of a sudden realization for something. “Didn’t you… Didn’t I say I will sign your copy of our debut cassette once you introduce me with the gal from your music store?”

“What are you talking about? I haven’t buy your debut cassette, I’m busy helping Jukebox and jamming with Jordan.” “Hold on. Wasn’t I the first one to sign it?” May adds, but just as unsure. “No?” “Bri was right! I saw him signed it with John!” Taylor nudges Deacon. The man was completely lost as to what happened with the three of you. “Y/n never come to me to sign anything.” “Exactly—,”

It’s like getting your head hit with a giant dictionary book, you finally remembered! Both your mouth and eyes were as wide as they can be. You are indeed from the future and—, “fucking shit! I forgot completely!” You screamed and jump from the chair, ran outside and to the store where you’re supposed to buy the cassette. It was almost on the other side of the city, but you’re glad you brought your bike with you,

“Have—,” you cough like crazy before you could even talk, scaring the store clerk, which are your friend. The same exact friend that sold you the cassette in the future. “What on earth is happening to you?” “The Queen! Queen debut cassette! Have you sold any?” “No—?” You immediately go to the rack. It’s there, what you assume is the same one from your first run in the past. You immediately fall down the floor, trying to calm yourself whilst inspecting the cassette; it was exactly the one you bought on the first time you’re in the past, because it’s a wee bit misprinted by half a centimetre which bothers the hell out of you, but it’s already signed when you notice it,

“You got the cassette?” Someone squatted right next to you. “May? Wait, what?” The man only nodded, “you should pay for it. Let’s talk outside,”

“I should’ve taken a taxi like you. I feel like dying,” you’re still wheezing, glad the air is much better than it was in the future. “But how?” You questioned, May folded his hands on his chest and contemplate. “I’m not sure. Do you remember when you throw yourself into the pavement just to avoid bumping that night? I have felt since then that you looked familiar. I thought you were my old school mates I might’ve forgotten. But then I remembered things we’ve done on your first time in the past—the fact that Rog said exactly the same thing despite everything was completely different�� Perhaps he is affected too? But the memories of after your first disintegration was… Much more blurry. Same with when before you’re disintegrated in front of my eyes in twenty thirty-nine. I think my brain thought it was false memories and simply decided they're not important,”

As interesting as they sound, unfortunately, you really can’t be bothered about that much, so you told him to write it down. Now your objectives are to get as many proofs as you can and May will keep them safe until twenty thirty-nine, and go back to the future. “I’m terribly sorry that you have to go through another sixty-five years whilst I can travel back and forth as if the year thirty-nine was in Wales.” “About that, uhh... Should we really hurry?”

“May. Don’t. I have made up my mind. It’s far too dangerous if this fall on someone else’s hand. God knows they have certain things in mind on how to use this.” He closed his eyes and nods, “thank you.” He catches your arm. “Why I’m back here too is perhaps because I listened to the cassette. It was a week after you’re gone, and you haven’t come back. I was worried and helpless. Please understand.” “Well, at least there’s a silver lining to it—that you don’t have to live another sixty-five years to got to thirty-nine! And I’m awfully glad that I know I’m no longer have to do this alone,”

Both you and May bought a Polaroid camera and cassette recorder. The two of you jams together and taped the session, take pictures with the band and Jordan and Jukebox. In your flat, as you put the “proofs” of your existence in 1973, you saw the pic of you with May, Freddie, and Taylor jamming, the one that Deacon took. Something inside of you crumbles. “What happened, y/n? Are you okay?” You didn’t notice you’ve shed tears and it falls on the picture. “No. Nothing happened,”

May sat next to you and grab your hand. You stared at his hazel eyes. “I will miss you and Taylor. I will miss everyone living in this year.” You whisper as you hug him. “You’re a dear friend of mine.” You tighten your hug, and he does the same. You let go and wipe your tears. Before May could say anything you both will regret, you cut him, “we will study this cassette. Promise me you will.” He reaches for your hand one last time, give it a quick squeeze before he stands up and sits somewhere else,

“Ready?” He asks. You nodded. Your eyes never leave his, same goes for him. You both took a deep breath when he clicked the play button...

To be continued...