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craisinsensation1029 · 3 days

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Snuggle Bug

Toji Fushiguro

AO3 :)

just toji being soft and domestic, thats it ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

~2k

SFW but minors still shoo

It isn't hard to make assumptions about Toji with just one look.

With his imposing frame riddled with pounds of muscles, enough scars to rival any war hero, and an expression that screams I don’t tolerate nonsense, ever on his face, most people steer clear of him.

There isn’t much merit in thinking so, but so many easily peg him as a douche, an asshole, a womanizer—someone that probably has the worst opinion on anything ever.

While Toji has definitely judged more than one book by their cover, only sparing something a glance for no longer than a second before deciding whether or not it would be worth his time, he’s more than happy he was a book you were willing to read.

He still remembers having to build up the courage to ask you out on a date.

Every week he would treat Megumi to a few new books, and low and behold on a calm Sunday afternoon the sweet old manager was showing you the ropes on the cash register.

He was enchanted by your smile, the natural grace that you had, the zest for life that you conveyed just through your love of reading. At first it was innocent, Toji being just as excited as Megumi for the weekly trip to the bookstore, flying to the children’s section to see if you had any exciting news on any new releases. There was even the time where you decided to do an impromptu story time just for Megumi because it was a slow day.

After that, Toji had to admit that he did get a bit more greedy, making more frequent trips to the bookstore and flashing you a crooked smile when you would look for the bite sized version of him. “Just me,” he’d laugh, hoping that crimson wasn’t painting his cheeks.

When people say expect the unexpected you always thought it was referring to something completely drastic, like seeing actual pigs fly or winning the lottery. Not seeing this big, burly man scratching the back of his neck and blushing while he waited for you to say something, but you couldn’t complain. You simply smiled at him and said, “Well you can read at a higher level than Megumi, right? Let me show you some other books.”

As the weeks went by, Toji was spending more time (and money—but you did give him your employee discount out of the kindness of your shining heart) at the bookstore, whether or not he had Megumi with him.

“I put something else in the bag.” A cheeky smile that he couldn’t quite decipher was on your face as you pushed his purchase toward him.

He thanked you and was fighting every single urge not to pounce on the bag the moment he stepped out the door. The bit of self control he was able to maintain allowed him to wait until he got to the car, seeing a slip with your number scrawled on it right on top of the books he just bought.

He never felt nervous about making a phone call before that night, but every bit of tension eased from his body when your bright cadence filled his ears over the speaker.

Soon the two of you were texting good morning and good night here and there, the occasional how is your day going. It was far from that though. After a few weeks you were moving on to talking about new shipments of books, mentions of family, future plans. It became routine for both of you to talk on the phone nightly. Even if it was a day that he visited the bookstore, the true cherry on top of the cake was drifting off to sleep with the sound of your voice in his ears.

It only seemed natural for him to ask you out and make you his.

Being with Toji provides you with comfort and security not even money can buy. No one dares to cat call you with Toji by your side.

There’s something just so entertaining about seeing one of the people you adore the most making others cower in fear with just a simple glance, like having a big, vicious dog that growls at everyone in public but snuggles up to you in private.

And when it comes to snuggling, Toji is well versed in that department.

See, he doesn’t really believe in personal space; he can never be too close to you.

If you’re washing dishes in the kitchen, his arms are wrapping around your waist, bending his head so it's resting in the crook of neck, sighing contentedly as he breathes in your scent.

Sitting on the couch? He’s scooching as close as possible next to you, entwining his fingers with yours, not even looking at whatever is on the television. He damn near crawled in your lap a few times, arguing that it was much more comfortable for him despite your legs screaming in protest.

He doesn’t even care if you’re in the shower, sitting on the toilet seat and waiting until you finish. His go to is usually getting in the shower with you, withstanding the boiling hot water you somehow consider an appropriate temperature. He had to build up his tolerance, feeling like his skin was going to melt off his body if he stayed there longer than five minutes. This would only make you laugh and say, “Toji, stop torturing yourself. I’ll be out soon.” He’d just grunt and give you that pouty face that makes you dab a kiss to his nose.

If you’re taking a bath, he used to drag a chair out from the dining room, but ended up buying a cozy bean bag just to make himself more comfortable and accompany you.

Much like a big dog though, Toji’s spatial awareness seems to be a bit... Lacking.

He doesn’t mean it, you know he doesn’t, but there are times when you swear he is trying to decimate you with the weight of his body.

Especially nights like tonight when he’s coming home late from work.

Megumi already ate the dinner you made and has been fully entertained by a movie you watched together. Once you made sure he was snuggled in bed with his two favorite stuffed animals, the only thing left to do is wait for Toji to get home.

His job can be pretty unpredictable, leaving him coming home at late hours when the only thing he wants to do is be by your side, feeling the softness and the heat of your body while he closes his eyes and melds into you.

His stomach is rumbling, screaming for sustenance. When he walks through the door he knows there’s going to be a plate of food already made for him, just waiting to be heated up, but eating is far from being the first thing on his mind.

Instead he cracks open Megumi’s door first, a small smile forming on his face when he sees his little form tucked in, arms wrapped around those stuffed dogs while his chest gently rises and falls. He closes the door behind him, making the few steps to the bedroom that he shares with you.

It was obvious you tried your best to stay up and wait for him, indicative by the bedside lamp still being on and the book laying facedown on your lap. Though your thrown back head, the bit of drool leaking from the side of your mouth, and soft snores coming from your body shows your efforts were unfortunately in vain.

This just adds to the smile on his face, silently slinking back out of the room so he can eat and take a shower. You’re still blissfully asleep once he emerges from his shower. He carefully opens the dresser, opting for just a pair of boxer briefs.

He turns off the bedside light and carefully secures the place in your book with the bookmark you left next to you on the bed.

Despite his attempts at being gentle, the bed always creaks beneath his weight when he gets on it. The sound isn’t quite enough to wake you, only stirring a bit in your sleep.

With himself securely in the bed he moves in closer calling your name gently. Still, you only stir, murmuring out something unintelligible while your head turns to the side slightly.

He takes the opportunity to lay his head on your chest, listening to the soft beating of your heart while his fingers are drumming lightly against your stomach. The feeling always makes him melt, indulging in every pliant dip and curve of your body, the velvety texture of your skin such a contrast to the calluses and roughness of his own.

It isn’t long before his hands are exploring, moving down to caress the swell of your hips and making their way back up to feel the dip in your waist. All the while his head stays on your chest, as if his skull is a sword that will do anything imaginable to defend your heart.

He stays like this for a while, the thumping of your heart serving as his own personal white noise, the sensation of your skin beneath his touch alleviating all the stress of work.

“Mmm,” you groan, slowly opening your eyes only to be greeted by darkness and consumed by heat. “Toji.”

At the sound of your voice he slowly opens his eyes, immediately pulling you closer to him and panting a slew of kisses on your cheek. “You were sleeping when I got in,” he murmurs against your cheek, plopping another kiss there. “Didn’t want to wake you up.”

You’re not sure what time you fell asleep, but tap the screen on your phone, squinting at the harshness of its brightness. It’s a bit past four in the morning now, rain beating down gently against the windows.

“Like you’ve cared about waking me up before,” you laugh gently, playfully rolling over to escape both his hold and the slobbery kisses he insists on planting on you.

“Come here.” A fit of giggles leaves your lips as you continue rolling over, just out of reach every time he tries to wrap his arm around you again. He lets you have it for a few more moments, letting you tire yourself until you’re completely breathless with laughter. Like a tiger waiting to strike he ambushes you, caging your body between his arms and letting his weight settle on top of you.

“Toji!” You try your best to contain your squeal knowing Megumi is sleeping just beyond the thin walls.

“What?” His voice is muffled as his head takes refuge in the crook of your neck, his lips pressing softly against the sensitive skin there. He feels your pulse quicken every time his lips brush against your skin. “I missed you.”

No matter how many jokes you make about canceling his gym membership or making sure he never has another protein shake again you wouldn’t trade the feeling of this for anything. One hand rubs small circles into his back while the other snakes around to the nape of his neck. He nuzzles further into your neck, humming with satisfaction when your fingers thread through hair and delicately massage his scalp.

“I missed you, too.” He doesn’t say anything, but you feel the curve of his lips against your neck as his arms maneuver beneath you, cradling your body tight.

The warmth of his embrace quickly lulls you back into a state of unconsciousness, only willing for the serenity to end when you wake up, ready to appreciate him with bright eyes, marking another day together.

#jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #toji x reader #toji x you #toji x y/n #toji fushigro x reader #toji fushiguro #toji fushiguro x you #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #toji fluff #jjk fluff #domestic fluff #ebs writes

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cheianimatez · 1 day

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Doubts (Gaming x GN!Reader) (SAGAU IMPOSTER AU)

(Might be a bit OOC, pls correct me 🥲)

"G-Gaming...?"

Gaming's body froze, you knew his name. He lowered his weapon, his doubts coming back to his mind. Ever since everyone was given an order to kill the "imposter" by their "Divine Creator", he thought "Why the heck would we hunt someone just because they have the same face as them, that's a bit cliche 🫤", but he can't defy his god, for he fears punishment.

But you, you knew his name, like you personally knew him, unlike the one on the throne.

"You're not going to kill me...?"

His thoughts got interrupted by your voice, sensing fear in it. He sighed.

"Honestly, despite everyone claims you impersonated Our Grace, you never did anything wrong at all. You also knew my name, unlike the one on the throne who didn't knew me at all, or maybe anyone else"

You looked at him, your fear dwindling down but still kept your guard.

"Yeah, probably that. In fact, I literally appeared here, then everyone started hunting me, like bro, do I look like I'm going to do some heinous crimes that they don't think their Grace or whatever the heck they call them would do?"

Gaming tried his best to hold his laugh. Somehow, even in tough times, you surprisingly have humor (even speaking his language /j). Maybe that kept you sane while you're being hunted down or something.

Then they heard voices. It's the Milileth. Gaming looked at the "imposter", suddenly feeling bad for them.

And that's when he decided to be against the order, deciding his own fate by himself

"Hey, what are you- UHH WHAT THE F--"

Gaming them immediately gave you a glare to shut you up.

"Oi, quiet! I'm going to help this time because who the frick would order people to kill someone just because they have the same face as them?!"

You looked at him in disbelief. He's helping you? But I guess you should be grateful this time, the last time someone helped you is Bennett, Fischl, Razor, and Mona helping you to escape Mondstadt, then you got killed by the Acting Grandmaster Jean, returned home to your world, then managed improved your life there until you fell asleep at the end of the day, only to find yourself you respawned in Liyue, and now the Milileth, the Qixing, heck even the Geo broke ahh grandpa Archon started chasing you! And I guess I could say it's enough for you to slowly develop distrust against anyone. Until this guy started to help you.

"I'm going to take you to my house. My father will probably understand my doubts of this... order..."

You stayed silent as Gaming carried you on the back away from the hunters, safely hidden from them.

"You know, I really wanted to go home. I had known these types of events that would happen in this world when I came, but I half didn't expect this sht would happen to me. I don't want godhood, I don't want to become a god higher than the Archon, I don't like how really submissive but blind these people are when it comes to faith on their beloved "Creator". All I wanted is a perfectly normal life, here in Teyvat, and now I wanted to go back home because of what I suffered..."

Okay, now he felt really bad. You didn't deserved this! He felt thankful for following his guts.

"Anyways, Gaming, did you know I actually laughed at your voiceline about your troubles? Like the way you said "How much?!" and "I'm not paying for a few extra wet wipes!" got me rolling! Oh, and your thoughts on Qiqi, it's so wholesome! I'm glad Qiqi gets the respect she deserves..."

To be honest, when he brought you to his house, he is already flustered about how much you knew him, praised him, heck even he heard you said a lot people from your world liked him because of his personality. Gaming could feel like jumping to the atmosphere, he felt being recognized.

Meanwhile, you feel your trust coming back again, and it's directed towards the guy whom everyone in the fandom called him the "sunshine boi".

And you're quite thankful that he's not blind like those rodents (blinder than Dora the Explorer lol 💀)

"You know, I feel... happy about how much you knew me and praised me. I feel recognized unlike Our Grace for not answering our prayers."

ISTG THIS GUY IS MAKING OUR DAYS BETTER 😭😭💖💖💖

"Anyways, want some dim sum? 😃"

Yo, this is my first time writing a one shot in Tumblr. I usually write the stories on my notebook at school, and maybe sometimes post in Wattpad (I'm barely active there anymore, just only used it for reading purposes-)

#sagau impostor au #gaming x reader #can be read as platonic or romantic #genshin sagau #genshin impact #genshin x reader #gaming being a gen z as usual lol

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fuckthisshitimin · 2 days

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THAT DAMNED SPREADSHEET

DOES ANYONE TO HEAR ABOUT MY ADVENTURE IN THE SPREADSHEET?

Cause I'm pretty damned sure I know what getting "High" on Milgram means.

Talking about his being rejected by the Magnus Institute, Samama said:

[That definitely feels like when it all started. […] Well, after that it all just went downhill. Didn’t get into Oxford, so I went to Nottingham.]

And that does not sound like what one would say about something that happened when they were, like, eight. So I went to take another look at the spreadsheet. Of course I was wrong, because The Magnus Institute burned in 1999, so he couldn’t have been more than nine, but I found out other stuff.

A thing that bugs me in how I’ve read some discussing the spreadsheet is that Sam has the highest empathy score, and that it made him “too nice/good” for the Institute’s purposes (not necessarily this directly but it has been implied, including in the “recruiting future avatar theories, and… well, implying that low empathy makes you more likely to become a literal monster is quite disgusting, actually).

First, I think we got one thing wrong on the Kohlberg column. Since they are kids, it doesn’t seem shocking that they’d be around stages 1 to 3 of his “Six stages of moral development”; but it doesn’t say Stage 1, 2 or 3 it says Level 1, 2 or 3, and I don’t think it’s a mistake.

His six stages are divided into three levels: Pre-Conventional (1,2), Conventional (3,4) and Post-Conventional (5,6).

People in stages 1 and 2 (Level 1) have a sense of morality that is linked to the direct consequences of their actions on themself — stage 1 is “don’t hit the dog because you’ll be punished” and stage 2 “give her half your banana and you’ll get half her chocolate bar” (very simplified).

People on stages 3 and 4 (Level 2) have internalized their surrounding’s sense of morality and act accordingly — stage 3 being “I’ll get a good grade in being a person by following the rules” and stage 4 “the rules I learnt are true and real, failing to follow them is Wrong and upholding them is Right” (idem).

People on stages 5 and 6 (Level 3) have a personal sense of morality that is critical of societal norms — stage 5 being “there are rules, and those rules can and should be changed through compromise to be fair to the greatest number”, and stage 6 “unfair rules should not be followed, direct consequences like punishment are irrelevant when it comes to deciding to do what it right” (very, very, very simplified).

If I’m right, the spreadsheet is so much more understandable.

First thing I wanted to do was put numbers on how singular Sam’s results are:

He gets “High” on both Milgram and Asch when the overwhelming tendency is that the higher your other scores are, the more likely you are to get “Low”, and the numbers were, indeed, that among the 49 children who scored “High” on both, 33 were in Piaget’s stage 1, 15 were in stage 2 and only Sam was in stage 3.

The 33 kids who were in stage 1 are the opposite of Sam:

(Abbreviating so it’s easier to compare values but P=Piaget, K=Kohlberg, Ps=Prosocial, S-A=Sally-Anne, U=Ultimatum, EI=Empathy Index)

33K: (P) Stage 1 :: (K) Level 1 :: (Ps) Low :: (S-A) Fail :: (U) Unfair :: (EI) ≥62%

Sam: (P) Stage 3 :: (K) Level 3 :: (Ps) High :: (S-A) Pass :: (U) Fair :: (EI) 98%

So that’s weird. And when I went to filter by Kohlberg levels… absolutely no kid that was on “Level 2” scored High on Milgram and Asche.

In fact, among the 99 kids on Kohlberg Level 2, none got “Low” for prosocial, none got “High” on Milgram, only 2 got “High” on Asch.

And when we read “Level 2 (Conventional Morality) instead of “Stage 2 (Pre-Conventional Morality, what benefits me directly)” we can make sense of this:

“To reason in a conventional way is to judge the morality of actions by comparing them to society's views and expectations. […] Conventional morality is characterized by an acceptance of society's conventions concerning right and wrong. At this level an individual obeys rules and follows society's norms even when there are no consequences for obedience or disobedience. Adherence to rules and conventions is somewhat rigid, however, and a rule's appropriateness or fairness is seldom questioned.” (by Kohlberg himself, from Wikipedia)

Adults can be Level 2, by the way. Adults can even be Level 1. Subjects of the Milgram experiment are displaying peak Level 2 behavior.

“High” on Milgram is “Did not electrocute/Disobeyed”

“High” on Asch is “Did not conform”

GOSH THAT IS SATISFYING

Bonus: the average empathy index is 79,1%, the median is 82% with 116 kids below 82%, 13 kids at 82% and 120 kids above. Of the 116 kids below the median, 11 got “Low” on Milgram. Of the 13 median kids, 3 got “Low” on Milgram. Of the 120 kids above, 91 got “Low”.

If we take the average instead, of the 163 kids more empathetic than the average, 100 got “Low” on Milgram, and 2 got “High”, of the 86 less empathetic than the average, 5 got “Low” and 59 for “High” on Milgram.

So actually here, low empathy is inversely correlated to willingness to hurt if ordered to.

And it makes sense. Low empathy is often associated with anti-social personality disorder, autism, depression — and you know what’s very associated with anti-social personality disorder? Disobedience.

Now I have to make another post about the weird kids in red's names.

#tmagp #tmagp theory #tmagp arg #samama khalid #tmagp spoilers #the magnus protocol #the magnus institute #the spreadsheet #guys i am so unused to numbers now #it's three am and i haven't eaten since breakfast #i don't even know if someone made a post like this already but i didn't find anything

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wilcze-kudly · 2 days

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A barely coherent ramble on the Beifongs being a family of people with an incredibly high ability to feel things

Toph

I think a lot of people really misinterpret Toph. They see her for her role as powerhouse. However, one of her key abilities is actually her ability to sense her surroundings with earthbending.

But that's not all. Toph is able to sense people's heartrates and tell when they are lying or not.

In fact, Toph is a surprisingly empathetic person. Despite her abrasive and harsh personality, she's surprisingly good at reading people and seems to have very high emotional intelligence. She's extremely good at identifying people's strengths and their weak points. Multiple times, she's able to successfully get under people's skin very efficiently.

Girl is using her empathy to bully people good for her.

Sure, she often uses a tough love approach, however I would argue that it's a self defence mechanism. Toph doesn't like being vulnerable, probably due to the fact that she was treated as weak and helpless when she was growing up. People with higher empathy or sensitivity tend to be percieved as weaker or more delicate, which is something Toph desperately wants to avoid. Toph also carried her parents' emotions and expectations of her for a very long time and it could stand to reason that she doesn't wnat to do that with anyone else.

I think I may make a longer post on Toph and her trauma surrounding her parents and how that affects her relationships and behaviours lol.

Lin

So... Lin is very similar to her mother in many ways. She also puts up a prickly wall of "tough love" to deal with her high sensitivity. However, she seems to absorb and internalise things that hurt her much more than Toph does.

Lin's emotional maturity is heavily stunted, most likely due to her difficulty with bonding with people. She never really allowed herself to grow past a certain point. She didn't grow into her empathy, therefore she feels things, but doesn't exactly know how to handle them. Repressing these feelings is a band aid solution, and we do see how dangerous them overflowing is.

However, on rare occasions we do see Lin allow herself to empathise with others. We see this particularly with Opal and Mako. However, with most people, Lin's guard is always up.

Lin is the textbook example of someone very sensitive who pushes people away out of the fear of getting hurt.

Suyin

I can see some people arguing that Suyin has pretty low empathy. Looking at her treatment of Lin, Kuvira and Baatar Jr. I think it's true that in her younger years, Suyin struggled with her feelings. I'd argue it is due to very high empathy actually. In the flashbacks, Su seems to mirror Lin's emotions back at her, perhaps unable to distinguish them from her own.

However, unlike Lin, Su grows as a person in her time away from Republic City. When we see her as an adult, she is very in tune with her emotions and also able to deal with other people's outbursts without internalising their feelings.

She has a very gentle way of speaking to people and is able to quickly pinpoint what they need to hear, as she does with a young Kuvira and with Bolin. She can make other's feel comfortable and safe. Perhaps due to her own turbulent upbringing.

However, Suyin is also heacily driven by her emotions. Her impulsivity can cloud her judgement, such as when she flew into a fit of rage at the idea of a guard betraying her city, or when she risked not only her own life, but that of her sons, and tried to impulsively save Zaofu feom Kuvira. She also still holds a shocking degree of sympathy for Kuvira, despite her initial anger at her ans her children's visible discomfort with Kuvira's presence.

Suyin feels things very strongly, and, despite getting better at managing her feelings, they still often overtake her.

Baatar Jr

It's interesting when a character who is characterised as a more "intellectual" type is driven primarily by their emotions. Despite being a man of science, Baatar Jr has a habit of disregarding logic completely.

He prioritises his relationship with Kuvira, he has a weird lil rivalry with Varrick, he's incredibly bitter when it comes to his relationship with his family. Baatar Jr is such an underrated character.

Huan

I think most artists are inherently sensitive people. And we very much like to express the things we feel.

Huan seems to use his art to process certain experiences, for example Harmonic Convergence. He's quite sensitive when it comes to his creations. He also values other people's art too and perfers "raw emotional power" over quality.

Opal

I think a lot of people pick up on Opal's empathy on the first watch, especially when you see her interact with Lin. Opal is also very quick to notice that Su still has a soft spot for Kuvira. She also sets boundaries with Bolin very quickly and efficiently and I would credit this to Suyin's parenting.

But Opal is very much like her mother in the sense of having her judgement clouded by her emotions. Especially when it comes to the Kuvira situation. Her strong emotions often act to her detriment, as she almost gets baited into attacking Kuvira and her unchecked anger at Bolin arguably made him retract further into Kuvira's army. This is hardly a new thing for Opal, as we see her lashing out even as a child.

Wei and Wing

Splitting what little screentime the twins have between them yields scarce, but interesting characterisation. Wing seems to be more outwardly emotional, throwing a tantrum when he loses a game and cheering when excited about sparring Korra. While Wei, much like Lin and Toph before him, seems to put up a bit of a prickly wall, for example when he's antagonising Bolin.

The twins are very closely tied to their mother and it wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination to say that they internalise her emotions. Like when Wei yells at Kuvira during the negotiations.

The twins are also very open about their upset at Opal leaving. It's honestly sweet to se that Suyin raised her children to be able to express their emotions rather healthily.

Uh. Anyway. This post was mainly meant to toss a pattern I've noticed out into the open. I might make some more posts elaborating on particular aspects of it (i also wanna make one on kuvira and how she's quite the opposite of the Beifongs). So uh. If you have any suggestions of topics i should start with,just shoot lol.

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thistlefaethfort · 1 day

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YELLOW

— read this first or this might not make sense!

— ao3 link!

If Sandra Lynn had her way, the Solesian Rangers work schedule would be a little more focused on rest and recovery, but she couldn’t really complain about the leniency the organisation had for people with families at home. No one had been more quick to sign off on her time off requests than her manager, she knew that Sandra Lynn was competent enough to catch up as quickly as needed. In a few months, she thought she would probably offer her the role herself. Today though, she finished up at lunch time and arrived home, shoulders weary with the weight of yellow paint cans.

It was a buttery, blonde colour that made her itchy to look at. It was the colour of Baxter’s feathers when they were downy and he was so young that sometimes she let him sleep at the foot of her bed, even on the nights Fig had crawled in between her and Gilear. It was something warm that got sharp late in the day, when the sun settled on it low in the sky late in the afternoon. Like milk poured in a sweet honey tea. It was golden and there were enough cans of it left on the shelf that Sandra Lynn thought people probably underestimated it. She thought it would make the chapel look like a bedroom.

It took her a handful of hours to painstakingly move everything away from the walls: the bedframe, the posters, the duffel bag that she point blank refused to look at for longer than a few seconds at a time — just in case. Once everything was piled up in the centre and covered with a tarp, Sandra Lynn put on an old shirt that was probably not hers but had ended up in her closet anyway and pulled out her brushes from under the sink. She washed the walls, scrubbed at them until dust stopped falling from the stone, and stared at the stained glass for long enough that the sun shifted to glare back through the angel's golden halo.

Then the door opened further across the house and she grinned to herself; it was easier now, to breathe knowing all the kids were safe under her roof, because she knew they were taking care of each other. There was no reason to hover around all the places her adopted and not yet adopted kids might be, because she was trying to trust that they would come to her if they needed a mom, or an adult, or a squirrel killer. Sandra Lynn could try to trust them for that. Fabian yelled something and Jawbone howled in a way that usually meant hang tight. Aelwyn spoke and there was a higher pitched response in that oh so similar Fallinel accent that was getting fainter as the two disappeared up the stairs. Fig cackled and there was the sound of at least four footsteps pounding across the house to where she knew her girl kept her guitar. She was distracted, not noticing when her final kid reappearing home for the day emerged through the door to her room.

It took a lot of effort not to jump and drop the paintbrush when Kristen’s voice, muffled by what looked like a fistful of popcorn that sprayed halfway across the room when she said ‘thandragh thlinn?’ Maybe time had gotten away from her, because she hadn’t expected for the girl to see the room until it was done, and her mind had already sprinted away to try and figure out if any beds were going spare tonight or if they should set up the den sleepover style. Pointedly, she didn’t think about how rare a night was where she didn’t hear light footsteps pattering about the house in the early hours. When everyone was home, there were ten kids with their own bedrooms (except for Adaine who let her sister share), and all of them were traumatised. They were good to each other though, and on the nights she thought the awake one might need a hug or a mug of tea, there was always a second teenager perched next to them; eyes blurry with sleep but risen for their friend anyway. She must have been quiet too long, because the voice started again, clear now, ‘are you painting in here? Did I forget you were doing this? I’m sorry —’ Sandra Lynn cut her off ‘ — I was wrong. Kristen I was wrong to put you in here and now the house is filling up and I don’t have a different room for you, so I picked up some paint,’ her fingers spasmed. It had been a bad, thoughtless call at the time. Kristen had grown up groomed and hurt by a church and she had to be reminded of every time she went to bed or woke up, and now she was sleeping in it alone, without even a God to pray goodnight to. She picked up one of the cans and showed her the colour, a glob hitting the tarp she had laid down over the old wood floors, and tried for a smile, ‘yellow, but not as bright as your tracksuit.’

Much to Sandra Lynn’s horror (because her shirt was covered in paint and her kid was wearing something other then that tracksuit for once and she would do anything to encourage her to wear other things as often as possible), Kristen’s eyes started to shine and her shoulders sagged. The woman dodged drips of paint and made her way to the girl, squeezing her shoulder hard enough to drag her back to earth. Her voice cracked and suddenly Sandra Lynn didn’t know whether or not she was going to cry herself, but she did laugh, just a little and quietly. ‘You got some muscle going kid, you sure you don’t wanna join the ranger track?’ She asked, mostly joking but not all the way. All of her Bad Kids were going to excel at whatever it was they chose to do in the end, but she hoped they thrived as a group first, she hoped they did whatever they wanted and it never hurt. Her smile grew a little bittersweet and she hoped Kristen didn’t catch it as she reminded herself that that was never how an adventurer’s story ended.

She offered out a paintbrush, ‘you gonna help me finish these last few walls or are you crashing at someone else’s room tonight?’

#sharkie writes #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #dimension 20 #the bad kids #sandralynn faeth #kristen applebees #jawbone o'shaughnessey #adaine abernant #fig faeth #figueroth faeth #fabian aramais seacaster #aelwyn abernant #gorgug thistlespring #riz gukgak #d20 #fantasy high ficlet

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idontplaytrack · 3 days

Text

Distress

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader

Warnings: hospital setting, descriptions of labour & delivery with complications, vomiting, blood & bodily fluid mentions

In which, Janis’ life ends up in your hands. So does your baby’s — and you had to make a decision that would be life altering either way

It’s crazy how fast life could change. And how drastically it could change — all because of one thing.

“y/n, you have to choose. Quick.” The doctor urged you. You felt the blood draining from your face as tears poured from your eyes. You were all alone with a lifeless Janis on the operating table, surrounded by people- doctors and nurses but the most alone and helpless you’ve ever been. You wanted so bad to fall on the ground and cry, but you tried to stay strong. Though you weren’t sure what it was for at this point. You didn’t know what to do.

Once Janis was confirmed to be in labour, you came into the hospital with her to meet her team for the occasion. You got her checked in then she was swiftly brought into her room that was picked out in advance. The nurses on shift got her changed into an open-back gown — which she hated, and got an IV plug set. She hated the latter even more. And of course, a fetal monitor. “All done, mama.” The nurse smiled sympathetically, “You’re all set. Just try and rest and we’ll be by every hour to check on you. If you need anything, call button is on the remote on either side of your head on the bed rails.

“Okay, thanks.” Janis replied simply.

Once the nurse had left, Janis asks, “Did you tell them yet?” “I did. I texted the group. Cady said she and Regina will come by soon, after they have breakfast. The rest of them are probably still asleep-” Your phone buzzes, “It’s Damian. He is…on his way.”

Janis chuckles, “He’s actually coming here?”

“Yeah, that’s what he said.” You showed her your phone screen briefly.

“Damn.”

You put your phone away, “How are you feeling so far?”

“It’s not bad, maybe I just have high pain tolerance.” Janis assured, “I’m okay.” You press a kiss to her forehead, squeezing her free hand. Her contractions were regular, but not causing her much pain yet. It was true, Janis had way higher pain tolerance than you did.

“You wanna get back to sleep, babe?”

She nodded, laying on her left side then drifted off to sleep while you stayed up keeping an eye on her and your phone in case any of your friends texted. Friends, yes. Family, no. Your parents didn’t like Janis and her parents did not like you. They’ve been against your relationship from the beginning but Janis didn’t give a shit.

Periodically, Janis would make little pained noises in her sleep, alerting you that she was having a contraction. Not once did she wake up, until someone came in to check on her progress. Boy, did she hate that. She showed it and the doctor definitely already knew. Once the doctor leaves, Damian showed up. “Hi, honey.” He greeted.

“Hi.” Janis forced a smile, laying back down.

“How you feelin’?”

“Uncomfortable. Especially with the doctor just shoving her fingers in to check me. What an invasion.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m sure they need to do that.” He cringed, “How are you doing?” He casts his glance you. “I’m…okay. Nervous? But fine.”

“Okay, do you want anything to eat, drink?” He continues.

“No, I’m okay I can’t even think about eating right now.” You declined. The three of you chatted for awhile, then Janis just suddenly got silent- her eyes screwed shut and she reached for your hand. You let her squeeze it to divert the pain, “You’re okay, baby. Breathe through it. You know what to do.”

Janis was handling it like a champ.

————

An hour later, Cady and Regina arrived. “We’re here.” Regina says, “How are things going?”

“So far, everything’s perfect.” You told the pair, “Progressing as expected.”

Janis has gotten quieter, now that the pain’s picked up in intensity somewhat. “Jan? You alright?”

She nodded, looking away from you. You hear her exhaling harshly. “Okay. You want some more ice chips?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” You told her, grabbing the paper cup off the table. You left Janis alone with the three of them for a minute or so while you went a little bit down the hall to get what she wanted. Actually, all she was allowed right now. “Here you go, babe.” You stood before, holding the cup up to her lips with a spoonful of the crushed ice. She opened up her mouth and accepted it.

“y/n?” Regina asks, breaking the silence, “Have you not eaten anything today? Your stomach just growled.”

“I don’t—”

“You need to eat.” Janis’s eyes flicked up to look at you.

“She’s right.” Cady chimed in, “I’m about to go down to the cafeteria anyway. I’ll grab you something too. Please eat. We can’t afford having you pass out today.” You reluctantly agreed while you fed your wife another spoonful of the ice.

“Fuck.” She mutters under her breath, you quickly put the cup down and held onto her, rubbing her back as she leaned onto you. Regina and Cady leaves after having asked you what you wanted to eat, after Janis’ contraction ended. “Whatever’s fine.” You told them.

“Okay, then.” Regina shrugs, leaving with Cady. As if on cue, a nurse returns to check on Janis. “You’re at a three.”

“Still?” Janis asked.

“It’s your first baby so it usually could take longer.”

“I can walk right? That’ll help?”

“Yes, dear.” The nurse answered, “You’re doing fine, don’t worry.”

“Thanks, Melanie.” You said to the nurse as she was leaving. She gives you a smile. You helped Janis stand up and walk around the room— but not before putting on a pair of non-slip socks.

You put an arm around her and kept her steady while she walked. Damian was paying pretty close attention just in case Janis got a pain that was too bad and you couldn’t hold her whole weight. The two of you took a few laps around the room before she decided she’s had enough for now. Regina returns and handed you a ham and cheese sandwich and a cup of tea, “Eat up. Cady’s in the bathroom.” “Thanks.” You took the food from the blonde and glanced at Janis in the meantime to make sure she was settled. “Babe, I’m okay. I’m just gonna take another nap before the pain keeps me awake.” Damian waits for her to be laying down comfortably before pulling her blanket up. “I’m so proud of you.”

Janis smiled at him, “Thanks, dude.” And with that, her eyes were closed again.

Regina started a conversation awhile later after deeming Janis deeply asleep enough to not get woken up too easily. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

“I haven’t slept in what, 4 hours and we only got five hours of sleep last night before her contractions started.” You told her, “I guess it’s just been hard for me to witness all of this— as relieved as I have been that her pregnancy has went by smoothly and is considered low risk.”

“Because of—”

You nodded knowingly, “My miscarriage, yeah. I tried my best to protect her, keep her healthy and safe. Today’s finally the day and I just want it to go well.” Unexpectedly, the usually unaffectionate blonde squeezed your hand. “She’s doing great.” Regina looks at Janis’ sleeping figure, “Look at that monitor- she’s having contractions but not making a sound? What a badass.”

A small sigh escapes your lips, “Thanks, G.” You resumed eating, Cady walks back inside quietly.

————

“I have a shift soon, so I’ll get going. Any of you, please keep me updated. I will be back later, okay?” Damian requested quietly seeing that you were now napping as well.

“Sure, Damian.” Cady promised.

“Thanks, y’all. See you guys later.”

You woke up from your short nap and it was currently hour five. At the last check, Janis had progressed from three to four centimetres. “No one came in to check her yet right?”

“No, but soon, judging by the time.” Cady assured.

Once the nurse walked in to check on Janis, she pretty much got startled awake. By the pain. Seeing that look on her face, you were instantly flustered. “Something’s not right.” You and your friends froze, you felt yourself getting lightheaded but you forced yourself to stay standing.

Melanie hurriedly checked what was going on. “I’m gonna call for her doctor now. We need to do a an emergency c-section and the baby’s heart rate is dropping. She’s haemorrhaging. y/n, I’m sorry, you and your friends are going to have to leave the room.”

No, you couldn’t leave her. Not right now. Janis was wailing in pain, the worst you’ve seen her all day. All pregnancy. She was crying for you, but she knew you weren’t going to be here. You couldn’t be.

“y/n, please. Leave now. Her team’s coming in right now to intervene.” Melanie started shoving you out of the room. Regina looked her displeased but quickly led you outside. You could hear and see Janis screaming and crying through the blinds. Until a minute later her team of doctors arrived and shut the blinds, but not before you caught a look of the pool of her own blood beneath her.

“Oh, my fucking god.” You collapsed, heart shattered and crying in Regina’s arms. She caught you, making sure you didn’t hurt your head. For once in her life, the blonde didn’t have a clue what to say. You felt another pair pf arms around you- Cady was also hugging you. But none of that helped- you wanted Janis to be okay. You couldn’t believe what you just had to witness.

“Sit down, baby. Sit down.” Regina persuaded. You could barely hear her, tears falling without an end. You heard the commotion of them rushing Janis into the operating theatre and you couldn’t bear to look. Regina shielded your eyes from the sight, but they could definitely see it. You hear Cady gasp- she didn’t mean it. But you cried harder. “She’s a fighter, y/n.” Cady told you, “She’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that.” You cried.

“She has a lot to live for, she will fight for them.” Regina agrees with the redhead. You blinked furiously, trying to stop the tears but they only kept falling.

Somehow, the whole gang appeared before you. You didn’t even know who told them but they were all here to keep you company. To hope and pray that Janis got through this. To make sure that the baby would be okay. As much as you appreciated them, you couldn’t express it. Your mind kept flashing with images of Janis in distress. It haunted you. No one dared to stop you from crying— you needed some form of release but they were also equally worried about what would come for you after such intense crying. With your head in your hands, your mind wanders to a particular conversation you had with Janis sometime during her pregnancy.

“If it ever comes to this…the doctor asks you if they should save the baby or me. Save me. We can always try again for a baby, one way or another.“

You sniffled, sitting up straight as you got into a coughing fit. Aaron quickly offered you a bottle of water from his bag. You declined wordlessly, right as a nurse rushed out asking for you. “Mrs. ‘Imi’ike, come with me now.”

The blood. The damn blood. Your stomach churned. But you took a breath and quickly followed her. “We’ve no choice but to ask, should we save your wife or the baby?” She asked while running. You ran with her, through the double doors and into the freezing operating theatre.

“We’re trying to save both of them right now, but in the worst case scenario, y/n, you have to choose. Quick. Right now.”

Seeing the team covered in her blood, seeing Janis unconscious. It shook you to the core, but you had to say it. You had to make the choice.

“Wife. Save my wife- I don’t care what it takes. You save my wife. I am not leaving without her.”

————

You don’t remember much from that point on. It was as though you’d blacked out. You didn’t even know how you got back out, but you were sitting in the plastic chair shivering. Gretchen. She drapes a jacket over you. You weren’t sure if it was her, but you heard her voice while you felt the fabric on your shoulders.

“y/n, look at me.” You hear Regina next. Your body just didn’t respond to that, but your mind becomes hyper-focused on the sickening feeling. You stood up but quickly fell back in the seat. Your legs didn’t work. Cady caught you this time- you hear her talking right by your ear as your head spun and spun. Your vision started to blur, your mouth watered feeling the bile rising in your throat.

You bent over and threw your whole breakfast up and then some. It does nothing but make you cry even harder, like that was even possible. They have never seen you like this…so vulnerable. You were always the life of the party. You always were optimistic, even through your own miscarriage. But this was a big fucking blow.

“They made me choose.” You sniffled, looking at no one in particular, “They made me choose—”

Aaron went to get a janitor to clean up the floor. “y/n, what—” Cady began asking. “Janis and the baby.” You swallowed, hard, your back falling against the backrest of the chair. Karen hands you a tissue, you wiped your mouth off hastily and she took another tissue to remove the used tissue from your hand. “They made me choose— and I —”

Regina holds you in her arms again, almost on reflex, letting you get whatever you wanted to say, out. “Janis told me before— to save her. And I did— but I still— oh, my God. What if she blames herself for the baby— G, I—”

“Sweetie, Janis knows what she wants and she’s always clear. You did what she would’ve wanted. You can always try again, but you only get one Janis.”

You only get one Janis.

————

The next hour or so— you weren’t certain, was like a never ending wait and nightmare. Your head rested on Cady’s shoulder as you tried not to give in to fatigue. Your head was starting to pound, you were so thirsty and your stomach ached from the inevitable hunger. But all you could think about was your wife.

The eerie sound of the double doors opening rang through your ears. You stood up right as her doctor approached you— free of her blood-stained attire. “Mrs. ‘Imi’ike, your wife is fine. But unfortunately, we had to let go of your baby. I’m very sorry for your loss, but your wife pulled through. She’s strong, a fighter.”

“Janis is okay?” You asked in disbelief.

“She received a blood transfusion for the blood loss thanks to one of your friends.” The doctor confirms, “She will make a full recovery.”

“Oh. Oh, my God. Thank you.” You hugged the doctor.

“It’s my job, dear.” She hugs you back briefly then broke away. “They’re just making sure she’s all settled then she’ll be moved to a ward. High-dependency for 72-hours just to be safe.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Take care.” With that, the doctor departs. You began searching for the said friend who apparently slipped away from the chaos to help Janis.

“Who was the one—”

“Regina’s also O-negative so she went ahead and just gave her blood.” Gretchen answered your question.

“What…?”

Regina did? This was the most selfless thing she’s ever done for anyone.

“Shit, I couldn’t even help—”

“y/n, please. Anyone would help- no questions asked. You can’t choose your blood type. That’s- that’s not how it works. Regina didn’t even hesitate.”

“You helped the most, y/n. You went with her wishes. You gave her a second chance at life.” Aaron chimed in.

Second chance at life…you did do that.

“Fuck, I don’t know what I would do without you g—” You looked at each and every one of them, seeing Regina walking out from a room with a bandaid on her arm. You ran over to her and just tackled her in a hug, “Regina, thank you.” You sobbed, “Thank you for doing that.”

“I did what I had to do.” She rubs your back, “Don’t need to thank me.”

Later on, you were all informed of where Janis was sent to. They only allowed immediate family to enter, meaning only you in this current situation. But they all walked up with you, and you were so confused when you got there because her parents were inside. Already. They were exiting so they saw you, and they looked like they wanted to kill you. Maybe not literally, but their words sure hurt.

“She would have been fine if it weren’t for you.” Her mother spat. Given your current state, that was all it took to make you cry again. Regina’s grip on your shoulders tightened. “The doctors say Janis is okay.” Her father told her mother.

“Not for sure, she isn’t.”

Regina was even angrier at this point, witnessing the hell you’d just been through. “She’s the reason your daughter’s even lying right there now.” Regina spoke up, “Nothing gives you the right to talk to her like that. She saved our friend, her wife, your daughter. If anything, you should be thanking her. You weren’t here for Janis- y/n was here through all of it. You have no idea what she’s been through today. You have no clue what she’s had to see, to hear for the whole pregnancy, you have no clue what she herself has been through so don’t you dare start this shit with me. Now move, it’s her turn.”

You quietly made your way past her parents and entered the hospital room. The pungent smell of antiseptic hit your nose. You cringe, eyes screwing shut for a second before you proceeded to sit in the creaky plastic chair.

“Hi, my love.” You greeted her tearfully, carefully picking up her fragile hand. “I’m very sorry for the choice I had to make for you, I could only save one of you and I know you asked me to but I’m so sorry. Please don’t blame yourself for it, please don’t do that. Like you said, we can always try again. But it was worth it because you’re still here with me. You’re still going to be here with me - we’ll continue to go through life together and nothing mattered more to me than making sure you were okay and didn’t suffer for more than you had to.”

You pressed a tender kiss to her hand then let it go to brush the hair out of her face, “Thank you for being so strong and fighting for yourself. I love you so very much, Janis.”

#auli’i cravalho #janis ‘imi’ike #janis 'imi'ke x fem reader #mean girls 2024 #wlw #queer #lesbian #fluff #angst #pregnancy fic #fanfic #wlw fanfic

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