should I dye my hair pink again…🧐

Part 2 Here!

Commission info for a Love Letter from you favorite character here!

- You’re probably someone on his morning routine, or who could easily become apart of his daily routine

- Maybe a friendly barista at a café he’s curious about on the way to the his store

- But I like to think you’re someone that works at the local flower shop

- He catches you on his way to work one morning, choosing to walk that day to stretch his legs

- Apparating is convenient, but if he’s not careful he’ll get out of shape pretty fast.

- He see’s you across the street, watering the plants you keep outside the shop, talking to each of them, a smile across your face as you do

- The morning light hits you just right, the golden glow spreading across your face

- “Well aren’t they quite cute?”

- He starts walking to work everyday from then on

- It’s on the fourth or fifth day you notice him-

- Well really you notice his hair, it’s such a rich red

- A livelier shade than any rose or hibiscus you could grow

- “I bet it’s hair dye.” Your co-worker tells you “you know how these city boys are-“

- Well your store is in the heart of the city, on the Jump Street, sandwiched between a book store and a boutique

- And yeah, most of the guys around here do seem impeccably dressed,

- one of your very handsome regular's who comes in to get flowers for his husband every Tuesday even admitted he has a running bi-monthly appointment at the spa, he gets a spray tan, dye job, eyebrows tweezed, the works.

- “It’s just what I have to do to compete, there’s so many young CEO’s now, you’ve got to keep up appearances.” 

- And you’re sure he’s not the only one

- Still.. you can’t help but believe that a shade of red that vibrant- that beautiful- can’t be from just hair dye

- “Maybe” you mumble, turning your attention to the peony’s

- You wonder if you’ll see him walk by at the end of the day when all the offices close

- But even though you keep your eyes glued to the store front window, he never shows up

- You see him again the next morning, walking across the street

- This time you take a little more of him in

- He’s pretty tall, though you can’t make out much of his build when he’s wearing that rust colored coat

- And a splatter of freckles across his face, almost like constellations

- He’s got a long nose, but it works with his face

- He’s pretty handsome

- What comes next shouldn’t surprise you, but it does

- Perhaps he felt your eyes on him, silently assessing him- studying him

- Because his eyes lift up to meet yours

- They’re the deepest brown you’ve ever seen, especially when the morning light hits them just so

- Oh sh*t, he caught you staring

- Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t.

- Okay, it’s fine

- Just okay- Just play it cool

- So, you pretend like you weren’t just staring at this handsome stranger admiring his features

- And shamelessly offer your best smile and a wave

- To your surprise he grins, smile spreading across his face

- A light pink dusting his face as he waves back

- And so you become waving friends

- Waving to each other every morning

- Which slowly evolves into trading morning greetings

- “How’s your morning going?” He asks from across the street

- Miffed commuters give him disgruntled looks as they walk around him rushing to work, but he stays rooted to the spot

- “It’s alright can’t complain!” You shout back from your spot by the gardenia bush, earning several looks as well

- “How about you?”

- He gives a teasing look to all the angry passerby’s and gives a “so-so” hand motion

- You almost laugh so hard you cry

- This goes on for a few more days, and your co-workers take notice

- “Flirting with the red head (Y/N)? On company time?” Your co-worker mock gasps and you roll your eyes

- “Oh hush, I’m just being friendly to a neighbor.”

- Your co-worker doesn’t look like they’re buying it, but they don’t say anything else

- It’s late in the afternoon when the shop bell rings

- You’re up to your elbows trimming and re-potting the hydrangeas

- You figure one of the others will get

- You hear some footsteps but ignore it, 

- This part is tricky, if you damage any of the roots the plant might not be able to make it

- “Um excuse me, I was wondering if you might help me with something?”

- Ugh, don’t they see you’re in the middle of something

- You’re about to turn around and tell them that customers aren’t supposed to be in back room-

- When you catch a glimmer of vivid red in the corner of your eye

- No that can’t be right, he doesn’t even walk back this way in the afternoon

- Your heart stutters in your chest, face growing hot

- Your crush is getting out of control-

- When you look up, there he is

- His adorable freckles face in all its glory

- Here in the homely, rather dirty, back-plant room at your flower store

- A hesitant smile curled on to his lips

- “I’m sorry, it looks like I’m interrupting, the clerk in the front said you would be back here-“

- Of course they did

- So well what’s he here for?

- Is he here to ask you in a date??

- You might just combust from joy at the thought

- Or maybe he’s here to order a large bouquet for his lover, and the rest of your co-workers think it’s time you get yourself out of this little crush of yours

- The thought fills you with both embarrassment and despair

- Only extreme highs and lows with you, it seems

- “- I’m a business owner a few streets over, and I thought some flowers might add some atmosphere, they said you’re the expert”

- He gives you a boyish grin, his hands shoved into his pockets

- So somewhere in the middle then

- Aright you can work with that

- “Do you have an idea of what kind of flowers you might want?” You’re already moving towards the sink, washing the fertilizer off your arms.

- George blanks, he hasn’t really thought that far

- “Not particularly, do you have any recommendations?”

- You nod, lips pursed as you grab the order form

- “Well what kind of store do you have? Peonys’ and orchids’ are always good with boutiques”

- You figure he owns an upscale boutique or maybe a restaurant, those tend to be the places that do the best in this area.

- And by the looks of his taupe coat, his store is doing very well

- “Hmm well-“ his hand rubs his chin

- Technically it’s a joke shop, but it’s grown to be more than that isn’t it?

- He sells potions, charms, stationary, prank goods (of course), muggle novelty’s- it makes sense to him- but his store has grown to be quite eclectic over the years

- Besides he doubts he can explain it you

- He’s still on the fence whether you’re a muggle or from magic like him

- You’re plants have him suspicious, no way a muggle could grow a gardenia that would put Neville Longbottom to shame-

- Still, if you were a witch there’s no way you wouldn’t have recognized him by now

- The Weasleys have all become some sort of warrior clan war hero, he’s even on a chocolate frog card now.

- Well, he would rather not risk it

- He’s always been the cautious one

- “It’s sort of a hobby store? Well it started out as one, but now we’ve been expanding and we sell a bit of everything.”

- “So kind of like a department store?”

- Department stores are a bit more tricky, each room has a different vibe, but the overall tone has to be neutral

- Hmmmm

- “Maybe some white roses? Orchids might be nice too, and if you’ve got a bit of a green thumb I might recommend succulents or some devils ivy?”

- This is all going straight over George’s head, he never did pay much attention in herbology

- But you’re talking to him as if he’s an equal and he doesn’t want the cutie who works at the local flower shop think any less of him because he doesn’t know a d*mn about plants

- “Those sound lovely”

- He’s not entirely sure how it happens, but by the time he’s left he’s got an armful of plants, and a rolling order at your store to pick up plants every Tuesday

- “Are you sure you’re alright? We deliver for free you know?”

- “No no it’s fine-“

- The tall leafy plant shakes every time he shakes his head

- “Besides I wouldn’t want to miss the chance to see you again” he winks before turning to leave

- You feel your heart skip a beat

- “Did you ask if it was a dye job?” You co-worker yells from the other side of the store as soon as he’s gone

- “Of course I didn’t Ainsley! For one that’s awfully rude”

- They nod knowingly

- “Yeah that’s really fifth date talk”

- They laugh when you throw one of the cards at them

- And like clockwork George comes in every Monday afternoon, and leaves with a handful of arrangements and plants

- You still talk to each other on the street

- “How are the hydrangeas working out for you?” You ask and he gives a ‘ditto’ hand gesture

- “They’re class! I was wondering if I could get a few more?”

- You nod

- “We’ll have more ready for you on Monday, are you sure you don’t want delivery?”

- He manages to carry them off every time, but it sure makes you nervous, just one tumble and they would be ruined

- “We’ve been over this, how would I get to see you then?”

- He gives you a lopsided grin and you find yourself reflecting the expression

- “Oi! Would you two stop flirting in the middle of the street, you’re blocking traffic!” Someone shouts

- He just laughs and offers you a wave

- “What’s with all the plants?”

- They’re the first words out of Ron’s mouth when he steps inside the shop, he’s already shrugging off his coat making his way to where George is fiddling with a new contraption

- “I thought they would make the place livelier”

- False.

- He just wanted an excuse to talk to you.

- He does like the plants though. The white hydrangeas you recommended for the potions section are absolutely lovely

- Though he did use a few charms to make them larger, and stay fresher longer.

- He’s basically got a wall covered in hydrangeas now

- Still lovely though

- “It does look nice” Rob admits

- “So where are the products you need help fixing?”

- George groans waving towards a few oddly stacked boxes

- The packaging on his restock of the portable swamps came in the wrong color, not a big deal he can always change it with a spell

- But it is tedious work, especially when you have to do it one by one, otherwise it might upset the contents.

- And he does not want a swamp in his store

- Ron only nods, unpacking the box

- “You want purple right?”

- There’s a moment of silence between the two

- Purple was Fred’s favorite color

- He used to joke it was because that’s the color Snape turned when he was mad

- But George knows it’s because purple’s the color of the first fireworks they saw.

- He, Fred, Ron and Ginny had snuck away when they were younger to a muggle festival in the village, awestruck by the shapes the fireworks took.

- Fred would have carved that moment into his bones if he could.

- George clears his throat

- “Yeah, purple, same shade as the shop sign”

- Ron nods, pulling out a products wordlessly, motioning with his wand

- “So what’s really the deal with all these plant?” Ron asks, and George sighs

- “Nothing I just thought it might be good for business”

- “Did you get swindled by an attractive salesman?”

- “I wouldn’t say swindled” you gave him a pretty generous discount, and you were even offering free delivery

- That’s kind of a lot to give for a muggle shop

- “So they were attractive then?” Ron says with a grin, he’s only ribbing

- But George’s inquisitive look and the pink flush across his freckles nose makes Ron think he’s on the nose

- “(Y/N)’s fairly attractive”

- Fairly is putting it mildly though, George thinks your adorable

- Ron stutters halfway through the transfiguration spell

- “(Y/N)? Like hot (Y/N)? From the flower shop?”

- George is puzzled but nods

- “You went to hot (Y/N)‘s shop?!?!? WITHOUT ME?” Ron looks like he’s about to cry

- “How would Hermione feel is she heard you talking about another person like that?”

- Ron just gives him an incredulous look

- “She would say ‘I can’t believe George went to hot (Y/N)‘s shop and didn’t invite us’!”

- Apparently you’re quite popular in the shopping district. Your flowers have won the city award twice, before you opened your shop you won a contract as the city’s horticulturist.

- “Last Valentine’s Day Harry and I stood in line for two hours to pick up our bouquets” Ron tells him, he’s already done with the first box

- He figured business was good, it’s almost impossible to run a flower shop in the middle of the city if it isn’t.

- But he didn’t imagine you were award winning or anything

- He sighs so you are a muggle, and you’ve got no need for magic, you make up the difference in talent and skill

- He likes that, maybe he should get some shirts or art prints that say something like that

- He feels a small smile creep onto his face

- Oh well, probably for the best, he’s not sure he has time to date what with how busy things have been

- “Free for dinner? We can go wherever you want, my treat.” George says, slipping on his coat as they finish with the last of the products.

- “How about (Y/N)‘s flower shop?”

- George laughs

- “I’m pretty sure they close at 5....also they don’t have food Ron”

- Ron sighs like he’s just been told Christmas is just cancelled

- “The leaky cauldron is fine too I guess”

- But George can’t stop thinking about you for the rest of the weekend.

- It’s not really that big of a deal if you’re a muggle, but-

- Well how would that even work?

- The closest thing to a muggle he’s personally known is Hermione- who’s a witch and just muggle born

- He wouldn’t be able to tell you about being a wizard- not until you were married, or at least serious enough that he knew you both were going to get married. Which he doesn’t know how he feels about

- So he would have three full time jobs

- Taking care of the store, being your boyfriend, oh and hiding his magical powers from you

- Lovely

- But Merlin- wouldn’t his family love it if he brought you home?

- His Dad would be over the moon, and his Mum, well she’d be happy he found anyone at all. But she wouldn’t mind the pointers you gave her on how to get pinker roses.

- Percy wouldn’t really care either way. He might even like it, a muggle in the family might help his political agenda.

- Good for optics and all

- He already knows Ron likes you

- He and Hermione will be quite pleased they get to ogle you all they want at holiday dinners

- Ginny will like having another person in the family, she would personally give you a tour of the burrow

- Fleur will like having another in law in the family- and Bill will be happy that she’s happy

- Charlie would love it, asking you all about what kind of plants his dragons might like, and if you might plant a few for him, come visit in Romania- the port key’s always open for family-

- Actually he might have to watch out for Charlie, his older brother might legit steal you away from him

- .

- ...

- Fred would have loved you

- Fred would have never let it go on this long

- Fred would have seen George’s lovestruck expression the first time he saw you and said-

- “Well are you going to ask them out?”

- Fred always was the bold one, George was just following his lead most of the time.

- That fireworks thing in their last year was entirely Fred’s idea. 

- George would sputter and shrug in response

- ‘I was just lookin’, a man can look can’t he?’

- Fred would have given him one of his wicked grins and said:

- “Look if you don’t ask them out now, then I will”

- And pushed him across the street, holding him to it

- And then when he was halfway across the street towards you Fred would shout:

- “And see if they’ll give us a friends and family discount for the store!”

- George is grinning just imagining it

- Fred wouldn’t have cared at all that you were a muggle.

- All he would care about is that you would make his brother, his best friend, happy.

- “Honestly George, you get hung up over the dumbest things-“ Fred would have said

- “You like them don’t you? They make you feel good about the world and life?”

- And George would just dumbly nod

- “Then that’s all that matters doesn’t it? That you care about someone, and that you can see a future with them. All that other stuff- it’s just noise”

- Alright he’ll try then

- Not just for Fred, but for himself too.

- George strolls into your shop on Monday, an hour before you open-

- “Oh hello George! You’re a little early, I’ve got your hydrangeas trimmed I just need to get your potted plants ready and-“

- “Would you like to go out sometime?”

- “-then I’ll fix up the roses for y-“

- Huh?

- You freeze for a moment, almost dropping the plant in your hands

- Did he just ask you on a date?

- “If dinner is too much, maybe just tea- or coffee?”

- Maybe it’s not exciting enough for you

- Ugh! He knew he should have suggested something more fun like the zoo or maybe a botanical garden?

- But you’re around plants all day, he didn’t want to make you think he only knows one thing-

- “Friday?”

- His eyes shoot up to look at your face, he hadn’t even noticed he was staring at his shoes

- “What?”

- “Friday” you repeat, you’ve got a smile that seems lovelier than any of the flowers you grow.

- “Is Friday good for dinner? I close up at six”

- He grins so wide he’s afraid his face might break

- “Friday is perfect”

Secondhand Sofa

Pairing: Willie x Alex

Summary: Alex and Willie need to buy a sofa for their new apartment, domesticity insues. (Alive AU)

Word Count: 1097

A/N: There is nothing that actually connects them, so you don't have to read it, but I wrote this in the same universe as my previous Willex fic Really, Really. It's like a few years in the future from that.

Alex felt like he was dreaming watching Willie dance around the kitchen, but he couldn’t be because he had just woken up not five minutes earlier. Therefore, it had to be real that he and his boyfriend had moved into an apartment together, and said boyfriend was currently the cutest thing on the planet while they made breakfast.

“Morning.” Alex said softly, a fond smile on his face. Willie spun around to look at him, a grin spreading across their lips at the sight of the sleepy blonde. “What are you making?”

“Pancakes.” Willie chirped, turning back to the pan. “How’d you sleep?”

Alex hadn’t expected to sleep well that night, it being their first night in the new apartment. Technically they had started moving in almost a week ago, but they had only gotten a bed yesterday and still didn’t have a sofa. But, to his surprise, he had gotten a full night of sound sleep and he was pretty sure it was because he’d had Willie sleeping beside him.

“Pretty good actually.” He answered, coming up behind his boyfriend to watch the pancake making process over their shoulder. Completely predictably, both the countertop and the stove were a mess. “I am not helping you clean this up.”

“I don’t expect you to.” Willie chuckled. They reached back to grab Alex’s arms and quickly wrapped them around their own body, smiling when he tightened his hold and rested his chin on their shoulder.

The two of them stood there silently while Willie finished making the last few pancakes, and then Alex grabbed some toppings and plates and they moved through to the living room. The area was sparse – they didn’t actually have any furniture to sit on – but they did have an old table that Ray had gifted them and a slightly ugly rug that Alex had stolen from his parents' attic. They had ordered a TV that should have arrived already but seemed to be delayed in it’s delivery.

“There’s a pretty good sofa at the second-hand store a couple blocks away, if we buy it before noon they’ll deliver same day.” Willie said as they sat down on the rug. “Before you ask, it’s not an ugly pattern and there are no mysterious stains.”

“That sounds pretty good. Is it yellow, orange or green?”

“No.”

“Can we afford it?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s go after breakfast.” Alex smiled, making Willie giggle and they leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek. “You have to clean the kitchen first.”

“Ugh, why’d you have to ruin it?” They sighed.

“Because you have a habit of making messes and I need to get into the habit of making you clean them up.” Alex answered. “If I don’t start enforcing the rules early then you’ll never listen to me.”

The two of them finished their breakfast, chatting and joking while they ate, and then Alex relented to washing the dishes while Willie cleaned the kitchen surfaces. He really struggled saying no to Willie.

The walk to the second-hand store wasn’t very long, and when they arrived Willie pointed out the sofa through the window before they went in. It was a plain grey, fabric three-seater without any stains, just as Willie had said.

“You know, I didn’t expect it to actually be so alright.” Alex teased, earning himself a light punch on the shoulder from his boyfriend.

“Come on, let’s go pay for it.” They smirked, pulling Alex into the store by their joined hands.

Not only did they get the sofa, but they also came away with a couple of blue tie dye beanbags; Willie’s eyes had lit up when they saw them and Alex didn’t have the heart to say no. The sofa was set to be delivered that afternoon but they carried the beanbags home on their backs, earning a few amused glances from the people that they passed.

“Now we’ll have space for guests!” Willie beamed, dropping their beanbag onto the living room floor. “See, perfect!”

“Yeah, perfect.” Alex smiled fondly, setting his down too. “Two steps closer to having a fully furnished apartment. We have about three hours until the sofa is delivered, what do you want to do?”

“Cookies, cupcakes or brownies?” Willie’s eyes shone so brightly with excitement that Alex almost didn’t think about the mess that they would make baking. “Please?”

“Willie, I love you, but I cannot deal with you constantly making messes in the kitchen; the kitchen that I also have to use.”

“Yeah, and that means you can make the mess with me.” Alex wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen Willie look so mischievous, which was saying something. He pursed his lips, trying so hard to resist giving in to his adorable boyfriend. But, alas, he was a weak man.

“Okay, fine, let’s make brownies.” He sighed, and Willie’s smile widened.

“I love you.” They cooed, grabbing Alex’s hand and dragging him through to the kitchen. He couldn’t help but feel that the words were some type of precursory apology for the mess that was about to be made.

+ + +

“I hate you.” Alex huffed, looking at the mess of flour and chocolate around him. “I love you, but I hate you.”

“You helped me make it so you gotta help me clean it.” Willie grinned teasingly. They had somehow managed to get brownie mix smeared across their cheek, and Alex couldn’t help but move his hand up to wipe it away.

“You tricked me. It was entrapment.”

“No, it was baking with your very pretty boyfriend.”

“The prettiest.” Alex smiled, placing a light kiss on the tip of Willie’s nose. Just then, his phone started ringing where he’d left it in the living room. “Start cleaning.”

“You got it, hotdog.” They chuckled, and Alex scoffed as he went to answer the phone.

The caller ID said it was Julie, but when he picked up he heard Luke talking to somebody else – probably Reggie - on the other end.

“What do you want?” He asked, in lieu of a greeting.

“Do you guys have furniture yet? We’re still waiting for a housewarming party.” Luke said, and Alex could just picture the smirk on his face.

“Who said we were gonna have a housewarming party?”

“Bro, Willie definitely wants to have a housewarming party.”

“And so do all of us!” Reggie called from the background.

“So, do you have furniture yet?” Luke questioned again. Alex let the silence drag out for a moment before he sighed loudly.

“Our sofa arrives in an hour and a half. We still don’t have a TV but if you wanna come then tonight works.” He answered flatly.

“Awsome!” Luke cheered. “See you tonight.”

“We’ll bring takeout!” Julie managed to yell before Alex hung up. He rolled his eyes, stuffing his phone into his pocket and going back to the kitchen.

“What time should we expect them?” Willie asked with an amused smile, wiping down the counter.

“I have no clue.” Alex shrugged. “But we don’t have to cook dinner.”

The two of them finished cleaning the kitchen while they waited for the brownies. It was so utterly domestic, and Alex couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face the entire time. Once the brownies were out of the oven they settled on the beanbags with Willie’s laptop to watch some Netflix while they waited for the sofa to be delivered.

The delivery guys were nice when they arrived, getting the sofa into the apartment and not complaining that the building’s elevator was broken and they had to carry it up five narrow flights of stairs. Now, finally, they had an almost fully functional living room. And to top it all off, the sofa not only looked good in the space but it was also comfortable.

“This place is really starting to feel like a home.” Alex said, taking a moment to stand back and take in the room.

“It’s always gonna feel like a home as long as we’re here together.” Willie replied sweetly, grabbing his hand and dragging him with them to sit on the sofa. “I definitely think we could use a few plants though.”

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Say such sentimental things and then immediately follow them up with a throwaway comment.” Alex explained. He'd never brought it up before but it was something that Willie had been doing a lot for quite a while, and it made Alex’s chest feel funny. He wasn’t particularly good at verbalising heartfelt sentiments – it had taken him a while to even get comfortable with saying “I love you" – but Willie didn’t seem to have a problem with it.

“Because I love you.” They shrugged in answer. “And I love you all the time, even during the most mundane moments. Sometimes I love you and it’s a really big deal and it’s a special moment, but sometimes I love you during super casual moments like getting our sofa delivered.” Alex just stared at them, his brain struggling to process what Willie had said beyond how fuzzy it made him feel.

“Okay.” He mumbled after an unnecessarily long pause, not knowing how else to respond. Willie giggled, adjusting the laptop on the table and hitting play before curling into Alex’s side.

“You could say it back.”

“Oh, I love you too.”

“I know.” They grinned.

They sat together on their freshly delivered sofa for hours, watching Netflix and chatting about random things. Their apartment was turning out to be actually quite cosy. They’d been sitting in silence for a while when all of a sudden Willie spoke up.

“You know what we need to buy?” They asked.

“A set of shelves for all of our miscellaneous stuff and more storage for our ridiculous collection of socks?” Alex suggested, practical as always.

“Well, yeah, but not what I was thinking.”

“Of course not.” Alex chuckled. “What were you thinking?”

“We need fluffy blankets.” Willie smiled excitedly. “And pillows to put on the couch.”

“Why?”

“So that, when our TV arrives, we can have movie nights on the couch and be all warm and comfy.”

“Hm, maybe that’s a good idea.” Alex smiled. He pushed a piece of hair away from their face and tucked it behind their ear, leaning in.

“Yeah, I think so.” Willie replied softly.

They were both smiling, faces only centimetres apart, when they were interrupted by very loud knocking at their door.

“FBI, open up!” They heard Flynn call from the other side. Alex groaned.

“Our idiots are here.” He said flatly. “What incredible timing.”

“We’ll have plenty of time another day. Go answer it, before we get complaints.” Willie replied as the knocking persisted. They pressed a very quick kiss to Alex’s lips before pushing him off of the sofa towards the door.

“Stop knocking, I’m coming!” He yelled, then lowered his voice to a bitter mutter, “I swear to God, this better not become a regular thing.” Willie laughed, and the sound warmed Alex’s heart.

He finally had his own space away from his parents and he shared it with the most perfect boyfriend he could have ever imagined having. He reveled in the feeling for a second before he opened the front door and his rowdy friends destroyed the quiet domestic moment. But that was okay, because this was his family and, although he acted like he was mad, Alex wouldn’t want it any other way.

Here’s another chapter! Y’all are gonna hate the ending.

@petrichormeraki

Grian knocked on the closet door. “Hey Xannes, I know you’re in there.”

“I’m busy! Go away!” Evil Xisuma’s voice came from inside.

“If you don’t come out now, I can get rid of the door completely and let people see inside. NPG’s told me it’s private information, but I’m sure sharing would be fine.”

There was silence before Xannes spoke again. “I’ll be right out!” There was a bit of clattering and then the hels admin opened the door as little as he could while also being able to squeeze through it.

“Nice sweater.” Grian pointed at the bright pink and yellow sweater Xannes was wearing before he quickly pulled it off and balled it up before throwing it into the closet.

“What the fuck do you want?” Then he looked over at Tommy. “And why is he here?”

“We need to get back to Hermitcraft and that’s Tommy. He’s from our dimension, not this one. We already met Theseus.”

Xannes crossed his arms. “And what do I get out of it?”

“You could come visit Hermitcraft again?” Mumbo suggested, but the admin just shook his head. “I thought you wanted that.”

“Oh, of course I do, but you know how I’m always visiting with NPG? That’s because my brother won’t let me in without him. Since he’s busy with Theseus, I can’t go anywhere.”

“Hey, before we left visiting, he said something about messaging you. Any chance that could be about NPG?” Tommy piped up.

Xannes hummed in acknowledgement before pressing something on his helmet. “So he did. Something I’ll need to tell Prof about. He’s actually going to be away for a few days to visit family. Something about seeing distorted mirrors or whatever.” He pressed the button again. “Alright, call NPG here and we can go.”

“Do I really need to discuss this? I have gone over this with my one dad before and have recovered from the events connected to my brainwashing.” Grum tried reasoning with Puffy who was insisting he had a therapy session with her. “I think there are more important matters to discuss other than my mental health.” 

“Your mental health is extremely important. Especially when you’re stuck in an unfamiliar place. And I’m not sure that having your dad as a therapist is the best practice.”

Grum frowned. “Technically a therapist should not have any relation with their patient outside of business work, usually up to three years I believe. But our admin is not fond of us leaving our world, so Daddy is the only option.”

“Well a second opinion would still be a good idea.” Puffy said, and Grum sighed before slumping in his seat. “I’m guessing that’s you reluctantly agreeing?”

“Yes, however I do have a condition.”

“What’s that?”

Grum gave a slight smirk. “That’s to have a significant influence on or determine the manner or outcome of something. But that’s not important right now. My condition is That between your questions for me, you allow me to ask my own questions.”

“Alright, but I may not answer everything you ask. Somethings may be a bit hard to hear or take too much explaining.”

“That is better than nothing.”

“Alright, so your brother mentioned you were brainwashed. How did that happen?”

“On our server, a system was started to buy plots of land on which to build shops, a ten by ten meter area being sold for one diamond block. It was started as a joke, but everyone went along with it. Soon there was a large diamond pile sitting in the middle of the shopping district. Dad thought someone needed to be in charge of it and created a town hall to place the blocks in and then created an election for mayor, nominating Daddy as a candidate. There were five total candidates, but by election, one had dropped out. One of the candidates was someone named Stress.

“She joined the election with Iskall as her running mate with a slogan and choice of colors. Meanwhile I was created to help my dads win. Just before the official election, Iskall appeared at my platform to get ideas from me. I refused to help anyone other than my dads, so he broke in and rewired me. Dad tried to help fix me when he found out what happened, but he does not know redstone well and only slightly fixed it. Daddy then came over and fixed me, but at that point, the stress of what happened and the fact that it was election day and it didn’t seem like my dads were winning ended with me breaking down.”

“That does sound like a lot to happen to someone so young. Even if as a robot you have the mental capacity of someone older, from what you’ve told me, you aren’t even a year old yet.”

“Correct.”

“Now, you said certain slogan and certain colors. What-”

“No. It is my turn for a question. Do you know someone by the name of Tommy Innit?”

“Uh, yes I do.” Puffy replied, waiting for Grum to ask more, but he simply nodded. “Are you going to ask more?”

“No. I have asked my question and now it is your turn.”

“Right. What were those colors and slogan?”

“I do not want to repeat the slogan. However, Stress was fond of alliums and used their dye.”

“Well then, that seems like something we should cover. The slogan likely may be a trigger to you.”

“Yes. How do you know Tommy?”

“I’ve… met him and his family before.”

Grum narrowed his eyes. “Is that all you are willing to say?”

“It’s my turn for a question.” Puffy responded, and Grum had to concede to his own rules. “How are you around Stress and Iskall?”

“Fine. They are my aunt and auncle now. Stress may have been running, but Iskall was acting on his own. At the time they were unaware how sentient of a being I was and is greatly apologetic for what they have done. They are very close with my dads and usually messed with things they ade, so at the time it seemed no different to him. Is Tommy from this server.”

“From this server? No, I believe he’s from SMP Earth.”

Grum had to keep himself from cursing. Now he was sure she was dodging his questions.

“Have you ever had negative experiences around Stress and Iskall after the initial incident?”

“Yes, the most prominent was when I first saw Iskall after getting my new body. After that was when I found a campaign sign that had not been taken down.” Grum paused before asking his question, having an idea. “If I asked you to give me a diamond and ask me a certain question with the guarantee that afterwards I would let you ask all your own questions and none more from me, would you do it?”

“I… suppose I could. I would have to find a dia-” Grum pulled one of on his inventory, always keeping a few on him for Jrum. “I guess that will work, what’s the question?”

“Ask me ‘Who is Tommy Innit?’”

This time Puffy looked unsure, but reluctantly she handed Grum the diamond back and asked the question. The diamond disappeared as it started up Grum’s system. He was primed, he bootloaded his brain, he flooded the mayoral reservoirs and then, he found the answer.

“Tommy Innit is the youngest son of Philza Minecraft, former ruler of the Antarctic Empire. He has three brothers. After the decline of the Antarctic Empire, Tommy was allowed to join the ↸∷ᒷᔑᒲ ᓭᒲ!¡ ᔑリ↸ ∴ᒷリℸ ̣  𝙹リ ℸ ̣ 𝙹- ℸ ̣ 𝙹- ℸ ̣ 𝙹- ℸ ̣ 𝙹- ℸ ̣ 𝙹- Gᒷt ⊣o∷gᒷo⚍s.”

Grum was holding his head. Something was wrong. It.. purple. Why was it purple? He couldn’t think right. Why? Why again? Was it because they were talking about it all and he tried to access the mayoral reservoirs? “⍑ᒷꖎ!¡. ⍑ᒷꖎ!¡. ⍑ᒷꖎ!¡. !¡∷𝙹ᓵᒷᓭᓭ𝙹∷ ⎓ᔑ╎ꖎ╎リ⊣. ∷ᒷ!¡ᔑ╎∷ᓭ リᒷᒷ↸ᒷ↸. ꖎ𝙹ᓵᔑℸ ̣ ᒷ ᔑ↸ᒲ╎リ╎ᓭℸ ̣ ∷ᔑℸ ̣ 𝙹∷. ⍑ᒷꖎ!¡. ⍑ᒷꖎ!¡. ⍑ᒷꖎ!¡. ⍑-⍑ e l p m e. D a d s h e l p m e!”

“Du du du, du du durudu, du du du duuu! D-d-dance Grian! Du du du, du du durudu, guinea pig dance! D-d-dance Grian!” Jrumbot was singing while in the nether, mining up some quartz, both for redstone as well as for snacks. “Du du du, du du durudu, du du du duuu! D-d-dance Grian! Du du du, du du durudu, guinea pig dance! Dance dance dance dance da-da-dan guinea pig, guinea pig, guinea pig, guinea pig. Dance dance dance dance dancedance, guinea pig dance!”

He heard the sound of a piglin and immediately stopped to make sure his gold booties were on, glad to see they were, then he realized that it wasn’t actually a piglin, but a zombie piglin, and a young one at that. Then, he realized it wasn’t just a normal sound. The noises were in the same tune as the song he had just been singing. “Hello? Is someone there?”

The noises stopped and jrum would furrow his brow if he had one. Then he got an idea. “Well! I guess I was just hearing things!” He said a little louder than needed before going back to the song. This time he paid attention as the humming of a baby ziglin started up again and Jrum started walking towards it, lowering his voice volume so whoever it was couldn’t tell he was coming closer.

Finally Grum found a hole and peaked inside, scaring the young Ziglin. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you! I just heard you humming along to me!” They were quiet, but Jrum did get a wave from the mob. “My name is Jrum! What’s yours?”

The Ziglin snorted and Jrum smiled. “Oh! Michael is a very nice name! What are you doing in a hole?” Another few snorts. “Huh, I guess that makes sense. My dads kept my brother in a box until it was okay to move him so he could get a body like the one I’m in! I got mine at the same time too by the way.”

Jrum chatted with Michael for a bit before something was said that made the ziglin sad. “Aww, what’s wrong?” Jrum asked, listening to the snorts in response. “Aww, well I hope Boo can find Bee. I got lost once and my dads found me, so I’m sure that your parents can find each other too!” A single happy snort. “Yes, Boo! He can do it. Wait behind me?”

Michael had shaken his head and pointed behind Jrum. When the robot turned around, he had to crane his head up at the figure that towered above him. They were half black and half white with the purple eyes of an enderman, streaks going down on the white side of their face from the eye. Jrum thought he also saw some mirrored on the black side, but it was hard to tell.”

“Who are you and why are you with Michael?”

“Um, I’m Jrum and I was mining in here while singing and then Michael sang along and now we’re friends.”

“I see. And what were you mining for?”

“Quartz! I’m a robot and so is my brother and we eat quartz instead of normal food, plus I need it for some redstone things.”

“I see. And are you-”

“Am I what?” Jrum asked when the person stopped talking, their eyes fading from purple and into green and red.

“Oh! Hello! Who are you?”

“Um… Jrum?” Jrum was confused by a number of things. The person’s changing eye colors, the repeated question, the tone of their voice changing from serious to chipper and finally the change to the common language. “You asked that already.”

“I did?” He asked, and then pulled out a book. “I don’t have anything written down about meeting someone like you.”

“Well we just met a minute ago. You asked what I was doing with Michael.”

“Oh, did you make a friend Michael?” The young ziglin nodded and then the person started writing in his book.

“Um, so what’s your name?”

“Oh! I’m Ranboo.”

Jrum smiled a little at the name. “Oh! Michael said his parents were Bee ‘n Boo, so you must be Boo!”

“That’s right. You’re able to understand him?”

“Yep!” Jrum nodded. “When I go to visit my sort of big brother he lets me visit Prof and Prof likes to give me presents like a language translator! My brother has one too!”

“What’s your brother’s name?”

“He’s Grum. We sort of got stuck in this world for a bit but we’re gonna try and find a way back and even if we can’t I’m sure our dads can find us!” Ranboo nodded and wrote down more in his book, making Jrum speak up again. “What’s that?”

“Oh, um… It’s my memory book. I’m not… entirely the best at remembering, so I write stuff down.”

“Oh! That’s cool!” Jrum smiled. “Well, I’m gonna go back to mining! Bye Michael! Bye Dad Boo!” And Jrum skipped away, humming a new song that mentioned being AFK.

“Mumbo! Mumbo Mumbo Mumbo Mumbo!” Grian started shouting, trying to get the redstoner’s attention.

“What’s wrong?”

“Look!” And Grian shoved his communicator in Mumbo’s face. “They’re alive! Or at least… they’re not completely gone!”

Tommy and Phil also came over to see what was going on as Mumbo read messages on Grian’s comm. “They both ran out of battery.”

“Yes! I mean, it’s not good because I doubt they have a way to charge again, which is not a good sign, but it means that they’re not gone forever!”

“Wait, how do you know that?” Phil asked and Grian showed him the phone.

“We set something up a while ago so we get notifications for them when something happens like they run out of battery or get badly damaged. Looking at the timestamps, these were sent while we were in Helscraft, but we didn’t get the notifications until coming back to this dimension.”

“Is there any way to track the signal?” Tubbo asked, making Grian light up.

“Maybe! It would take a lot of time though, so it might be good to have someone here work on that while we check the-” Grian stopped, his comm buzzing. “What?”

Tommy leaned in to read the new messages.

[Bot Status] Grum has run into a processing error

[Bot Status] Grum has run into a database error

[Bot Status] Grum has run into a mental error

[Bot Status] Grum has shut down due to extreme stress

[Bot Status] Jrum has encountered a virus

[Bot Status] Virus has been dealt with

[Bot Status] : )

Shouto x Marquie HCs

It’s 00:48AM here so technically it is no longer your birthday, but let’s just pretend it is because it’s the 17th in some time zone okay.

I wish I could say I came up with this concept all by myself, but my other ovary @theygottheircages actually did, so you could say she co-wrote this. Anyways, don’t kill me for the first few bits, I promise it’ll get better! Happy birthday my love, my ray of sunshine @mindninjax you deserve all the love in the world.

Shouto Todoroki was never brought up like most children; childhoods filled with laughter and friends, aimless ambitions and whatnot.

He never had any experience interacting with others his age, or anyone really in general. Which brings us to:

Bullet point 1: Shouto Todoroki does not understand social cues.

Shouto Todoroki is a loser

It’s almost painful for us to see him stumble into conflicts in conversations he has no part of being in. (It provides some good entertainment, though)

But Shouto being Shouto, glorified hotter version of Zuko (I SAID WHAT I SAID), still has girls throwing themselves at his feet. No one is surprised. (Except maybe M*neta)

But Shouto also being Shouto means he has no fucking clue about how to treat a girl.

This boy can barely read the room, you think he can understand women? Madness

So as per, after Shouto’s third dumping, everyone came up with a game:

A bet; How long before Shouto gets broken up with this time?

Is it mean? Maybe a lil. But is it funny? It sure fucking is.

He doesn’t get it. Shouto? Cue the confused math lady meme.

He just doesn’t understand why these girls pursue him for weeks, spill their loves out to him, to... break up with him a week later? r/woosh

Anyways, the most recent break-up had him more confused than usual. The girl had said something along the usual lines of, ‘you just don’t get me, do you even like me?’, but then there was a comment slid in there about how she’d found another man who’d treat her better.

Another man? So she didn’t like him while they were dating?

Bullet point 2: Shouto Todoroki did not ask to be cucked.

Up til now, yall are probably like, this is just Shouto slander! Angel, where is protagonist!! We didn’t sign up for this!!! (Except you did, welcome to my blog where I make the rules hehe)

And for this crack headcanon, we throwin’ in a lil twist. In this headcanon, the hero’s not gonna save our protagonist. Our protagonist saves our hero.

Enter: Marquie

Well, technically, Marquie is exiting the building (Angel shut up you’re not funny) of her work when she spots a suspicious young man...

setting fire. To what? fuck knows. 

But there’s the distinct flare of flames that are lighting up the alleyway (yes! another alleyway!! sue me!!!)

and Marquie? Nah, she’s not having that. How dare someone commit arson, do they know how environmentally damaging that is? God

She marches up to the man, already preparing the script to tell him off:

“What are you doing? We can’t afford more pollution, not in this city—“

He turns around and she comes face to face with... 

a Zuko cosplayer. 

With duo-coloured eyes and duo-coloured hair.

It’s all a lil ridiculous because who the hell dyes their hair that colour, but also more concerning is that he’s setting fire to what looks like the iceberg that sank the Titanic. 

(cue a tomato being thrown on stage because that’s positively the worst joke I’ve made up to date)

He just stares at her though, because frankly, he’s a lil slow.

No, but genuinely the screws in his brain’s just turning tryna figure out why this woman’s just coming at him before—

oh.

and he proceeds to deadpan an explanation about being a hero and his quirk that frankly is a bit too convenient but he’s cute and Marquie’s a bit of a sucker for cute boys so.

Marquie!! do we need a bit of background info? Well I’m about to spoonfeed it to yall anyways.

Marquie is the human embodiment of a ray of sunshine, can make conversation with just about anyone, and honestly, you just subconsciously get whirled into it. Caught up in her flow and whatnot.

Which is precisely what happens, and yeah sure, Shouto’s not giving her much to work with, bc since when was he the talker of the century?

He’s still got the same expression on his face, but he’s enjoying it. He swears, can you not tell?

For once, he doesn’t feel as if the girl’s expecting anything out of him, doesn’t feel pressured to fulfill her image of him, whatever that is. He hasn’t even figured it out himself.

She’s so excited, as she always is. Soon as she realized he wasn’t harming the environment, in fact, staying behind to clean up his mess, he was in her good books.

And a hero? Mate, she’s got a list of questions the length of that Spongebob meme. You know the one. (no, not the ‘The’ one.)

It happens naturally, they’re just going with the flow. He’s still not giving out much input, but she’s more than content with whatever singular-word answer he gives.

It’s fun, and cute, blah blah, their personality just meshes, you know?

They’re grabbing food together because Marquie’s just got off work, and he’s off patrol, and honestly, why the fuck not.

The story’s gotta progress somehow, init.

And the story progresses like this:

They start spending more time together, because the area he patrols just happens to be where she works. 

(God! Angel pulling the strings of fate once again.)

He’s frankly surprised she’s not gotten bored of him, or been offended he seemed so ‘disinterested’ (even though he doesn’t think so, it’s just his face, probably)

She’s happy with him just the way he is, he’s good company, although Marquie could make anyone good company. She’s just that likeable.

She knows how to have a good time, and if she has a good time? You can’t help but also have a good time.

I knooow the motto of my blog is ‘fuck a slow burn’ but man, you want me to write fast burn Shouto? (I didn’t make a pun, everyone thank me for that.)

He’s surprised, you know? Never has a girl just spoken to him so casually, without any traces of ulterior motives (not that he could’ve picked any up, what even are social cues?) and somehow, she’s always managed to know what he’s feeling.

She says something like— I can tell by the expression on your face, it’s pretty obvious— to which we reply:

No, Marquie. That’s just you. Shouto’s got a total of 2 distinguishable expressions and it’s when he sees Endeavor and when he doesn’t.

So yeah, whatever, we all know where this is going. He’s blushing more around her, finding himself wanting to see her more and, what do you know.

Bullet point 3: Shouto Todoroki’s got a crush.

Not that he knows what that is. But Marquie sure does, so instead of the guy taking the lead (because fuck gender roles!! yeah!) she makes the first move.

And when she tells him he’s an idiot for not realizing, we’re all snorting because— now you realize he’s an idiot?

Yeah he’s an idiot, but he’s her idiot, you know?

(GAG, VOMIT)

And maybe he’s googling for the first time: Where to take a girl out on the first date? What to buy a girl for her birthday?

He can’t for the life of him figure out why he doesn’t want to fuck this up this time, but it’s okay baby, we’re all patiently waiting for you to grow up. It’s okay. (It’s kinda endearing)

And that leads us to our final point:

Bullet point 4: Shouto Todoroki will never be cucked again. Marquie has saved him from the cucking, congratulations.

You heard it here first: Cuck Wars 2020 has been ended by Marquie. 

tags: @enjifuckersupreme , @theygottheircages , @yukiimanic , @lookslikeleese , @rat-suki , @baku-no-alt , @blahkugo , @sanguinekeigo , @pomsuki , @zahrashallucinations , @saratour , @red-riot-girl642

Games we shouldn’t Play

Chapter Four: hoping for better days

Lunch rolled around and you’d gotten a few texts from Jin apologizing and one or two from Jaebeom asking if you were alright and about what happened when he got off the elevator. You hadn’t answered either of them. It was too much. Jackson had come over up to ask how Friday went right as lunch time rolled around and you didn’t say anything to him either. Jasmine was the one left to explain about everything that happened this morning and yesterday and after that even Jackson. The group’s friend who was almost always happy and energetic was down on his mood.

You made it to the cafeteria and Jaebeom was waiting for you, smiling and waving from his table a second tray of food already waiting on you and you felt better about that. He wasn’t making a move to join you at the door just waiting patiently for you to come to him and you did. Walking past a few of the models and Hyeji and her inner circle head held high to go sit by him and try to let all your worries from earlier dissipate. You sat down and bit into the crisp red apple smiling at the fond look he was giving you and the sweet taste. 

“Did I mention earlier that you look beautiful?” He leaned in and whispered.

“Hmm… No, I don't think you did. I remember you calling me beautiful, and saying I looked stunning, but not telling me I looked beautiful.” You commented falling into that easy feeling that you’d had Friday and Saturday when the two of you had gone out by yourselves. The upset from this morning still stung around the edges, but what he’d said on the elevator was right. You had discussed this and you had a plan. None of that involved giving up on Jaebeom just because Seokjin came around. 

“Hey Y/n, JB.” Yugyeom came over from where he had grabbed his lunch and sat down at the table. He was followed shortly after by Sooran and Jinyoung, then Jasmine, Jackson, Youngjae and Mark followed. Finally the rest of you were joined by BamBam who always seemed to take the longest to grab his food, but it didn’t surprise you all that much because he was usually held up talking to Lisa since she sat at one of the other model’s tables close by to the check out counter and vending machines. 

“Hey Bambam, how did that video presentation from this morning go?” You asked, sticking your fork into the salad that had been sitting in front of you.

“It went well. They really liked the track and thought that Lisa was a good choice of model. Thanks for suggesting her. The even said that they want her to be the permanent model for their campaign.” He said taking a bite of his pizza when he was done speaking.

“Hey y/n. Is that a new dress?” One of the models who had been sitting at HyeJi’s table had passed by your table  to go over to where the waste bins were and on her way back seemed to notice the dress you were wearing.

“Oh, yeah, it’s from a new design series I was working on,” you replied.

    “Is there going to be a photo shoot for that series?” She asked curiously.

“Maybe sometime soon. I still have a few more pieces I’m working on and some changes since the advanced copies of the designs were shared I have to change some things.”

“I thought it looked familiar. That’s the dress Hyeji was gushing about. She had a picture of the design sketch on her phone. She said you were making it specially for her. You know, I knew she was lying. If you need a new model for any shoots let me know, okay? By the way congratulations not everyone can leave a catch like Seokjin and land on their feet.” She eyed JB up and down making it obvious what she meant and both of you almost choked on the respective drinks and food you were eating.

“I.. uh...Thanks. If I need a new model I will let you know.” You placated her and tried to recover from her comment and she nodded satisfied that she may have replaced Hyeji as your favorite and that she got something she could hold over Hyeji’s head in the meantime.

“What did she mean by that?” Youngjae asked.

“Probably just that word has traveled about me and Jabeom dating.” You muttered like it was common knowledge and continued to eat.

“Oh okay. Wait when did you two start dating?” Youngjae asked, confused.

“Saturday. We went out for breakfast trying to see if we could really get to know each other after the fun we had Friday, thanks for buying dinner by the way Jackson.” You said.

“Technically we went out for Bingsu Saturday not breakfast.” JB countered. 

“Same thing. After that I helped him dye his hair and we kind of just decided that we’d give this a try.”  You finished.

“And you said we should let them find someone else on their own.” Jackson said smugly and gave a pointed look at Mark who rolled his eyes again. You and Jaebeom gave each other a knowing look. This was actually working. They all seemed to believe you. The pieces were falling into place. 

The rest of lunch was spent with your friends asking you questions about Saturday until you finally told them the story leaving out a few key points of course.

                                            ***Last Saturday Afternoon***

After leaving the Bingsu place the two of you bought the hair dye JB had wanted and went back to his apartment blessedly not running into Jin or anyone else. Jaebeom’s apartment suited him. It was cozy and sort of intimate and looked like it was lived in and loved in the time he’d been here. The door bathroom traveled through his bedroom and it took everything in you to keep from laughing as he scrambled to pick up the mess of laundry lying around and had blushed a little in your direction and apologized. You had tried several different scenarios out in your head for how to go about dying his hair without staining his shirt and finally let out a sigh.

“This is hopeless. Take your shirt off.” You ordered and he got a sly grin on his face.

“I thought we were dying my hair,” he teased.

“I will leave right now and you can call Jackson and explain why you were about to have me dye your hair” 

“I’m just kidding, y/n, please don’t leave me like this.” He grabbed onto the soft denim of the shorts you were wearing. His knuckles brushed the outside of your thigh and your eyes met his for an almost electric moment before you shook your head, made a little uncomfortable coughing noise and went back to mixing the hair dye. 

“I’m... You should... Unless you want your shirt stained I’d suggest either changing or taking it off,” you told him.

“Right, I’ll… I’ll just go change. I have an old t-shirt I use for cleaning. That should be alright. You just keep mixing I guess.” He left the bathroom and went looking through his room for the shirt and you let out a sigh and looked at your reflection in the mirror not meaning to but noticing where JB was standing with his back turned to you as he slipped his shirt he’d been wearing over his head and you found yourself transfixed by the flawless expanse of tan skin revealed as he slid the shirt over his head. His long hair just barely grazed the space between his shoulder blades on his neck and you found yourself imagining what would be like to feel that skin under your fingertips. When he quickly began slipping the new shirt over his head it seemed to snap you out of your daydream and you had shook your head squeaking in panic when you realized your hair had dipped into the pot of hair dye  in your distraction and sat it down scraping it off in a determined fashion with a tissue that you pulled from a nearby box. Jaebeom didn’t even bother to hide his laughter.

“We could have matched.” He said and you swatted at him before tugging him down into the seat and putting gloves on so you could apply the bleach to his hair. Things were quiet while you did this. He watched you as you focused on what you were doing. Your brows knit together and concentration tugged the corners of your mouth down in this cute little frown. He found himself imagining what your reaction would be if he kissed the little creases you had forming there and mentally cursed. The two of you weren’t really dating he couldn’t just take advantage of thoughts like that any time he wanted and you were his friend there should be a line. That did remind him though. He cleared his throat a little and you pulled away satisfied with the work you’d done on the bleach. Now all you both had to do was wait for it to do its job. He tapped your side where you had leaned across and sat the bowl and brush down then you turned to look back at him.

“We should probably decide what our boundaries are for this whole thing.” Jaebeom said.

“What do you mean?” You sat down on the edge of the tub and shifted so the two of you were face to face.

“Like for what would cross the line and be a deal breaker.”

“Oh. Right. No meeting parents or siblings unless it is absolutely unavoidable. The last thing either of us needs is our families getting attached to the idea of us being a thing and getting hurt too.” You said setting a timer on your phone for when to rinse the bleach. 

“Fair enough. Um… no sex. I think that would complicate things.” Jaebeom said.

“Really? You think sex would complicate things. I would never have guessed.” You teased.

“Listen here smart ass.” He chastised you for the comment and you let out a full and jovial laugh tilting your head back and exposing your bare skin at your neck and creating a clear line to the v of your shirt to his eyes. He was starting to already be glad he set that rule, but also beginning to curse himself for it. You were still as beautiful as always, but for some reason even more enticing as the realization sunk in that you were essentially untouchable now due to the rule he’d just put in place.

“Okay um… We should go to every public function that requires a plus one together if it means one of the others will see us.” You said drawing him back to the topic at hand.”

“Does that mean I am driving you to and from work from now on too?” He asked and you nodded. 

“I can give you gas money if you need it, but it would look weird if you let me ride the bus when you have a car.”

“Fair. Um… couples clothes or accessories?” He asked.

“Not unless you think we need to unnecessary money being spent if you ask me.” you replied.

“Not yet. If it gets too hard to keep the ruse up then maybe.” he said thoughtfully.

“Group dates?”

“Probably unavoidable, but only if someone asks.” He answered.

“You just want me to have all my attention focused on you. I should probably borrow some of your clothes too.” You teased then suggested the latter as an afterthought.

“What? Why?” The thought of you in his clothes with your small stature and how his hoodies would probably fall about at the same length as the shorts you were wearing now effectively making you look like you were wearing nothing underneath them was a particular brand of torture he hadn’t even imagined when he had been factoring in things that would complicate your friendship. 

“Wouldn’t it be odd for a girlfriend to not at least have one piece of her boyfriend’s clothes?” You asked.

“Fine but I’ll pick it.” He said.

“Deal.” You agreed.

“Y/n are you sure you still want to-” The timer beeped and interrupted what he was going to say. You pulled the shower hose down and sat on the edge of the tub switching the water to the hose rather than the faucet and gesturing with your free hand for JB to lean back across your lap from his seat on the lid of  the toilet his hair dangled down now a whitish shade of yellow. You were right to buy the toner because you were going to need to take the yellow out after you dried it so that his hair wouldn’t turn green. Not that you really thought he’d mind, but he’d wanted blue and you weren’t going to be the one to ruin it. 

A few more hours passed and his hair was finally a dark blue with his black brown roots poking out of the top. It looked good on him and you smiled and nodded your approval after drying his hair a final time.

“Thanks, y/n. I owe you one.”

“No you don’t this is the least I can do for you helping me with the whole Jin and Hyeji situation.”

“That’s another thing we need to talk about. What are we going to do Monday. Jin is going to see us there.”

“I’m going to avoid him like I’ve been doing I guess.”

“That’s not going to work forever, y/n.”

“Then what do you think I should do?”

“I think if he bothers you, then you should stay by my side. We don’t have to talk to him, but if you stay by me maybe he will probably get the point and at least you will know you have someone there for you.”

“And if that doesn’t work? What if the two of us get in an argument or you two get in a fight?” 

“If he and I get in a fight I can handle it, but if you two argue then when it’s over the two of us will get back together and have a good day and you will act like nothing happened. It will be hard, but he deserves to see you happy without him and so do you if we’re being honest. If at any point you are sad, call my name, do you think you can do that? ” 

“We’re not being honest JB, that’s the whole point of this, but I can try anyway.” 

“Just trust me. We can make this work, Y/n I know it.”

“Okay… well I guess since we’re done with your hair I’ll get going. I need to clean the extra dye off of me anyway.”

                                                   ***Present***

“So you’re telling me that you spent the entire day in his apartment and nothing happened?” Jasmine had been pestering you since the two of you got back from lunch with the others.

“Pretty much,” you replied. You walked over to the different bolts of fabric selected a few and nodded when you were satisfied with the combinations cutting small sample squares from each of them and safety pinning them to the respective designs that they were going to be used for in the look book you had planned for the company’s next runway production. A few of them had more than one layer and you were already discussing with the people who usually did the sewing how you wanted them to work when she caught back up to you.

“You and I have really got to have a chat about seizing opportunities, y/n. You were in his bedroom, for crying out loud. In his shower,” She scolded and you laughed.

“Okay, first off, I wasn’t in his shower. Second, what was I supposed to do just finish dying his hair and have my way with him right there until we were both covered in blue hair dye?” You asked.

“Yes. Yes you were.” She said matter of fact tone and a serious look on her face.

“That is a quality man downstairs and you should take advantage of every inch of him from head to toe.” You laughed again this time for a good solid few minutes and even snorted a few times from how hard you were laughing. She began laughing too and that’s how you knew this entire exchange was just her way of trying to cheer you up. Jasmine was almost as energetic and twice as eccentric as Jackson was and you were grateful to have her as a friend but she definitely had her priorities skewed sometimes. 

“It was only our first real date.”

“No it wasn’t. You had a date Friday.”

“That doesn’t count. You guys set us up.”

“Okay yes we did, but it should still count anyway.” She argued and before you could protest the point further your phone chimed. 

“Is that him?” She asked trying to peek over your shoulder, but you hid the phone away and made some distance between the two of you.

831.

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? >> I don’t eat cereal anymore, but from what I can remember, I didn’t really like having a lot of milk in the bowl.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? >> Not usually.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? >> On the occasion that I’m reading a paper book, if it’s my own, I just dog-ear it. If it’s a library book, I use the receipt that I got from checking out the book.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? >> Black (or in the case of some teas, with a little honey).

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? >> I’m self-conscious of my entire face.

6: do you keep plants? >> I just have the one spider plant in my room. It looks pretty done for, but like... it’s not dead, exactly, so I have no idea what to do with it. Sparrow, on the other hand, has about fifteen plants on the balcony, two in her room, etc.

7: do you name your plants? >> Sparrow has named at least one of hers.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? >> I just wrangle the written word the best I can.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? >> Absolutely.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? >> Side.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? >> Sparrow and I have this thing where we just mangle words as badly as possible. Like “chicken” has become “chimkin”, stuff like that.

12: what’s your favorite planet? >> Mercury and Pluto, for completely opposite reasons (as I’m sure is obvious).

13: what’s something that made you smile today? >> I saw a random crop of mushrooms while walking. It was just... random! I don’t know what died there or whatever that made the mushrooms grow in that one little spot, but it was adorable.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? >> ---

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! >> I don’t feel like it.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? >> I don’t have one.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? >> I don’t.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. >> ---

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? >> I technically have one, on Dreamwidth, but I never bother updating it. This is my journal, along with my personal blog.

20: what’s your favorite eye color? >> ---

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. >> I don’t have one of those. I have three different bags for different purposes.

22: are you a morning person? >> Sure.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? >> I usually have 0 real obligations (aside from ones I impose on myself), so I have no idea how to answer this.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? >> ---

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? >> I’m not sure.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? >> There are no shoes that I’ve had for forever. I only have two pairs of shoes, so basically both of them get worn with every single outfit (the boots in the cooler months, the sneakers in the summer and for walking).

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? >> Well, isn’t bubble gum only one flavour?

28: sunrise or sunset? >> Both are good. Although I like saying hello to the Sun more than I like saying goodbye to it.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? >> ---

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? >> Sure.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. >> I like wearing socks with funky patterns and designs on them, and sometimes I mismatch them on purpose for my own amusement. I do not sleep with socks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. >> I can’t really think of one right now.

33: what’s your fave pastry? >> ---

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? >> I don’t remember what I kept as a child. I think I had a lion or two. I only remember that because my father is fucking obsessed with lions so of course I had lion plushies.

35: do you like stationery and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? >> I do like them, but I don’t have occasion to use them.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? >> I don’t know.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? >> I like keeping it tidy.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! >> I’d really rather not right now.

39: what color do you wear the most? >> Black.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? >> I don’t really have any stories behind any of the jewelry I own.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? >> Well, I reread The Phantom Tollbooth recently and I’ve been fond of that book for almost as long as I’ve been alive.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! >> No.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? >> I don’t remember.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? >> Oof...

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? >> I don’t know.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Any burger of the day ever written on the board at Bob’s Burgers. I love them though. <-- I’m going to stick with that, those are just utterly shameless puns lmao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? >> ---

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? >> I was afraid of thunderstorms and flying insects. I still have a reflexive aversion to flying insects when they’re flying around me (even though I actually like a lot of flying insects, like bees and moths and stuff), but I am definitely not afraid of thunderstorms anymore.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? >> I don’t buy CDs and I rarely buy records. I think the last record I bought was a deluxe copy of Pearl Jam’s Ten that I found at ALDI, of all places.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? >> I don’t collect things.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? >> ---

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? >> I don’t remember what memes came out this year.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? >> I tried watching RHPS and Beetlejuice and didn’t like either one. Didn’t even finish them, in fact. Heathers was okay. Pulp Fiction was entertaining.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? >> *shrug* What even is a true look of sadness.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? >> I have no idea.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? >> Meh.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? >> Listening to Bohemian Rhapsody doesn’t really make me feel anything, but it’s fun to reenact sometimes, yeah. Especially in a car, Wayne’s World style.

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? >> ---

59: what’s your favorite myth? >> Oh god, that’s the worst question. I love so many different myths.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? >> I can’t usually get into poetry, a lot of it is inscrutable in a way that’s just annoying to me instead of intriguing. There are some poems I like, though, but don’t ask me to remember them right now.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? >> ---

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? >> Not usually.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? >> I’m fussy about my everything. I don’t own enough books or physical copies of music to really warrant being meticulous about their organisation, though.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? >> Pale blue.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? >> I mean, sure, why not.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? >> I used to have a really big one that someone on tumblr made for me a long time ago, lmao. That was good.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? >> It depends on how I already felt. If I was having an okay day, then it’s just dreamy and ~goth~ and I will probably make 100 Silent Hill jokes. If I’m having an off day, then the fact that the Sun isn’t even out just makes me feel worse.

68: what’s winter like where you live? >> Cold.

69: what are your favorite board games? >> I don’t have one.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? >> No, never got a chance.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? >> Ginger, peppermint, etc.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? >> No.

73: what are some of your worst habits? >> Picking at my lips, mainly.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. >> ---

75: tell us about your pets! >> ---

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? >> No.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? >> Either is fine.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? >> I can’t stand them.

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? >> ---

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? They are the colour of Nothing and I did not choose it. I rent. <-- “the colour of Nothing” is exactly what the fuck it is.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. >> ---

82: are/were you good in school? >> I was great as a child. Once puberty (and trauma) hit everything went out the window.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? >> I don’t even know where to begin with this... there are so many album covers I like, but I don’t feel like expending all my survey energy on one question, you dig...

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? >> No, I’m not planning on it.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? >> Sure. Promethea, Sandman, Preacher, Doctor Strange, various Lovecraftian comics, etc.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? >> I do like concept albums. Dream Theater has done some pretty interesting ones, and so did Vanden Plas with Christ 0.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? >> ---

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? >> I had been reblogging a lot of art recently that had a similar look and feel to it, and I was wondering if they were related, like part of a certain art movement... and then I was watching a Youtube video about the movie Silence the other day and I accidentally found my answer in that video! It was the Baroque movement. I really like the feel of some of those pieces, particularly the darker-hued paintings.

89: are you close to your parents? >> No.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. >> What can I possibly say about New Orleans that hasn’t already been said by more poetic minds than mine, tbh.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? >> I don’t plan on travelling this year, thanks to the whole pandemic business.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? >> Er, somewhere in the middle...?

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? >> I only have one hairstyle.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? >> Somebody on one of the Discord servers I’m in.

95: what are your plans for this weekend? >> We’re going to the Wayland house for the first time since... early March, I think. Besides that, just the farmer’s market and grocery shopping as usual.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? >> My computers run on SSDs, so it takes like 2 minutes to do system updates and I’m right back in business. No point in procrastinating that.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? >> I get a different result every time I take a Myers-Briggs test (which makes sense to me). My Sun sign is Gemini. My Hogwarts house is Slytherin, but being complex-natured like any other human being I know that I straddle both Slytherin and Ravenclaw.

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? >> I don’t remember the last time I went on a true hike. I would love to do that at some point, but aside from the M6 trail (which is just... parallel to a highway and not all that scenic), all the good hiking places in this region require me to be driven to the location first.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. >> Death Is the Road to Awe by Clint Mansell, Walker by Master Boot Record, Ich dachte schon by Selig, Little Black Submarines by the Black Keys, Nothing As It Seems by Pearl Jam.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? >> No.

Sculpted Raven

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader

Summary: It had been just you and your brother for the longest time and that’s how you liked it. Politics and lies had drove you away from your home five years ago and that has since left a bitter taste in your mouth. While exploring the latest town you’d settled in, you met Chanyeol. He was everything you didn’t want: goofy, happy-go-lucky… a wolf. Mate pull or not, you were going to try everything you could avoid him while keeping the secret from your brother. But how long would you be able to fight? Will Chanyeol be able to pull you back into the world you swore you would never enter again?

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I 14 I Final

**

“No, you’ve got to adjust your fingers. Like this.”

“They were like that.”

“Yeah, but then you moved them.”

“Because they were cramping.”

“Well, you’ve got to get used to it.”

“I will hit you with this and you know I will.”

Chanyeol snatched the guitar right out of your hands with a horrified look on his face. You’d never actually damage his most precious item (he always corrected that statement, saying that you were the most precious thing to him, but you didn’t really believe that you came before the guitar), but at the moment it was definitely tempting.

This was currently lesson number three in which Chanyeol was trying to teach you to play guitar. Considering you already knew how to play one instrument, you didn’t need to learn another one. You used to be very proud of your piano skills. Until you heard Chanyeol play.

On a random day soon after the funeral, he took you to a music shop (a different store than the one you accidentally stole from) and sat down at one of the keyboards, testing out different ones to see which one he wanted to buy. The way his fingers glided over the keys took your breath away.

And he played you the song he’d written for you on the guitar.

He’d let you hear it for the first time when you were fully moved in to the farmhouse. Living with twelve - well, technically thirteen since Jongdae’s mate, Jiyoung, lived with them half the time - was going to take some getting used to, but it would help stave off the loneliness. And Chanyeol was the happiest you’d ever seen him.

When the two of you had settled in his bedroom, he didn’t hesitate to grab his guitar, sit across from you on the bed, and start playing without even indicating what you’d be listening to. But you didn’t need to be told. A soft melody was hidden underneath a slightly faster tempo. It was how Chanyeol saw you and brought a single tear to your eye. He’d blushed at the sight of how much you appreciated the song before you threw yourself into his arms. Then you asked to hear it again. You never wanted to stop listening to it.

After that you learned that Chanyeol was the ultimate definition of “one man band”. With a strange need to keep up with him, you begged for him to teach you how to play the guitar, knowing that you wouldn’t really had the coordination to learn the drums.

Okay, beg was a bit of a stretch. You were barely able to finish the question before that boy was pulling you back up to his room to get started on your first lesson.

The past month and a half hadn’t been the easiest. Learning the names of the entire pack and their mates was not a simple feat, but Dana helped you out the most as she, too, had a hard time connecting with them all in the beginning. Perhaps it was because of that day in the bakery, but you found yourself appreciating her the most and spending the most time with her outside of Chanyeol. It was kind of ironic after seeing how Chanyeol and Kyungsoo had a strange relationship. It was still a loving one, but Chanyeol also seemed to take pleasure in messing with the younger wolf who was not afraid to fight back.

The way they interacted and leaned on each other like a family made you miss Lon. According to his phone calls, he was doing fine, fitting in to his pack like a tailored glove. Being a part of your father’s pack really was fate.

He promised to visit soon and you looked forward it. It’d been too long since you’d seen your brother and you wanted to see for yourself that he really was as happy as he sounded over the phone.

Getting up from the bed, you stretched out your limbs and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Chanyeol asked as he followed you out into the hallway.

“I’m thirsty,” you replied, heading down the stairs. “Putting up with your poor teaching skills is making me dehydrated.”

You didn’t need to turn around to see the pout he was sporting. “Maybe you just have poor learning skills.”

Stopping just before you could get off the bottom step onto the first floor you whirled around. “Excuse me?”

“Ididn’tmeanit,” Chanyeol quickly defended.

“Mhm.”

Heading for the kitchen, you should have been prepared for the pair of arms that encase you and lifted you off the ground. But you weren’t, making you let out a squeak as he carried you into the room.

“Chanyeol, put me down,” you grunted. You were trying hard not to chuckle at the giant child, but you failed miserably. Man, you wished you could actually hold a grudge against him, but he made it so damn difficult.

He did as you asked, laughing as your feet touched the ground and the arms disappeared from your waist. Kris was sitting at the kitchen table while Sehun and Tao stood in front of him, the latter holding up a box of hair dye.

“Come on, Kris,” Tao whined. “Just try it. I think you’d look great as a blond.”

“He’s not going to do it,” Sehun said as he crossed his arms.

“You’re right,” Kris nodded. “I’m not.”

Sehun smirked. “Because he’s not as cool as us.”

That made Kris scoff. “You wish.”

You liked Kris. He didn’t take any of the members crap (of which there was an insane amount of), but he also was surprisingly full of wisdom that was never sugar coated. No wonder he was fated to be an alpha.

Stepping up behind him, you bravely ruffled his hair (something only you could really get away with) and said, “I don’t know, Kris. I have to agree. Blond might be a good look for you. Then you’d get all the ladies.”

The crooked smile that adorned Kris’ face ninety-five percent of the time slipped away. Without a word, he stood up and walked out the back door. You were stunned, unsure of what just happened.

“Did I say something wrong?” you asked to anyone who would answer you.

“Don’t take it personally,” Junmyeon told you as he entered the kitchen. His hair was wet, fresh from a shower. “That’s just a sore subject with him.”

You frowned. “It’s getting hard to decipher who it’s okay to talk about that subject with and who it’s not.”

“Basically everyone but Kris.” Tao tossed the box of dye down on the table. “Well, since that didn’t work, I’m going to go change for tonight. A new bar opened up and I’m itching to check it out.”

The two young wolves exited the kitchen while you turned to Chanyeol.

“Why is Kris sensitive about girls?”

“Later,” he replied, getting a clean glass down from the cabinet for you and filling it up with water. “Any fun plans tonight, Junmyeon?”

The alpha shook his head. “No. I’m holing myself up in my office for a while. I’ve got to prepare for the end of the semester.”

“Your favorite time of the year,” Chanyeol chuckled.

Junmyeon groaned. “I just want to fast forward to the beginning of the next semester.”

Taking the glass that Chanyeol held out for you, you sipped on the ice cold water before asking, “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Junmyeon shrugged. “I just like the possibilities the new school year brings. You never know the kind of semester you’ll have. Could be good, could be bad. You just never know.”

“You must really like surprises.”

“Part of being a professor.” Checking his watch, Junmyeon sighed. “Alright. I’ll get out of your hair. Too many papers to grade and too many students wanting last minute extra credit. Have a good night.”

It was his turn now to disappear out the back door, leaving you guys alone.

Chanyeol slid up next to you with a mischievous glint in his eye. “You know, that means everyone will be out of the house for a few hours.”

Putting the now empty glass down on the counter, you smirked at him. “Yeah? So?”

Not voicing his thoughts, Chanyeol picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. You couldn’t help but giggle as he carried you back up the stairs and to his room for some good old quality mate time.

My KH3 Fix-It Dream

(Warning, long post is long because part way through I just started writing bits of the actual fic, oops.)

There’s a lot of people complaining about this and that with the KH3 plot, but I honestly don’t have too many complaints because the story we were given was about what I expected (did anyone realllyyy believe that Kairi was going to become a badass Keyblade wielder? Search your heart, you know you saw this travesty coming), except on one front: Vanitas was tragically under-utilized. After being hyped up so much in the trailers, you’d think that he would have at least had a go in the game that was worthy of his character. But KH3′s Vanitas was little more than a shadow of BBS’s, and that’s a darn shame.

So, I present to you: a fix-it fic plot bunny that fixes several things at once:

1) Vanitas doesn’t die. Okay, actually, it still works fine if he does die, but we’ll take his “I’m always with you” suggestion literally--Vanitas is a heart of Darkness wrapped in a body made of bad feelings, and that final battle was one brutal attack on the feels after another. The fear, anxiety, horror, and desperation the Lights, especially Sora upon witnessing what happens to Kairi, manifests as so much accumulated negativity that Vanitas--even though he actually wants to!!--can’t stay dead, and his heart, which naturally lingered with Sora and Ventus even after his defeat, gets shoved back into another body made entirely of other people’s suffering and pain, now even more unstable and dysfunctional than before.

2) The final battle happens. Kairi is saved, but Sora disappears. While the finally-reunited good-guy crew are busy coming out of shock planning how they’ll inevitably rescue Sora, they’re also struggling with another major issue: what to do about Vanitas, who is as comatose as Ven was at the beginning of BBS, a broken heart in a broken body.

3) Nobody wants to say “mercy kill”... The idea is there, but none of the gang is really willing to do it barring maybe Roxas, whose practicality is actually alarming (”You’re not going to be feeling so sympathetic when he wakes up and stabs somebody, you know. Don’t say I didn’t warn you”). Even Aqua, who knows as well as Ven how much of a danger Vanitas is, can’t really convince herself to attack someone who's completely helpless. But what to do, if not that? He isn’t waking up, and anywhere they leave him, he’ll have to be guarded around the clock--he still, technically, has the ability to trigger the apocalypse if left unattended to chase hearts of light, you know.

4) It’s Ven’s idea to take him to Destiny Islands. That was Master Xehanort’s plan for Ven, after all, when they were first separated: let Ven’s empty body waste away, forgotten, in a backwater world. Instead he’d made contact with Sora--and nobody wants to say that either, that maybe there’s the tiniest bit of hope: somehow, some way, maybe Sora can still be reached, maybe the call of yet another heart in need will be irresistible enough to make the unfailing hero claw his own way back from the brink...

5) What really happens is this: Sora’s mother has had MORE THAN ENOUGH. Spaceships start dropping out of the sky, the deserted play island is somehow brimming with grown men and women running around, she sees Kairi of all people wandering right back into town as if she hasn’t been inexplicably absent for months... So where is Sora? Where is Sora and why is he not coming home? Finally, after three days of radio silence from Kairi and Riku (Riku’s been gone for years, and now he’s suddenly here, without Sora? When has there ever been a such thing as Riku without Sora?), Sora’s mother prepares a scolding on the level of God casting humans out of the Garden of Eden and indignantly rows her way out to the play island. It seems there’s a whole crowd gathered at a bonfire down the beach, but she never makes it there. Because there’s Sora right there on the paopu island, there’s Sora, only everything’s wrong--who let him dye his hair like that, what is he wearing, why won’t he wake up--”Sora? SORA!”

6) It’s Riku who tells her the truth. That Sora is gone, in the wind, not even a body to bury except this one, this boy who’s wearing the face of the son she hasn’t held in her arms in ages--maybe never will again. This is what he looks like now, Riku says, but this isn’t him. (How? How is this not her son? Under his bangs there’s the same freckle at the edge of his forehead she used to give good night kisses to--)

7) They make several attempts to stop her (”Ma’am,” the man with brown hair and guilty eyes says, “Ma’am, you really can’t--he’s a danger to--”) but none of them stopped her son either and if they’ll stand by and let the light of all the worlds extinguish itself, let’s be honest, they’re just not that good of guardians. She takes Sora the boy named Vanitas home. In Sora’s old bed he looks comical, the only time, maybe, that he’ll ever look tall, and the shadow of the toys and clutter she hadn’t had the heart to clean (not after the day she remembered that the room up the stairs wasn’t just sealed up storage, that a boy had lived there, that his worn clothes were still strewn across the floor, that she’d had a son at all, Sora, for a whole year she’d forgotten the name, the sound, the jut of his lip in a pout--) falls over his face. They say he’s not her son.

8) Well, she thinks, we’ll see about that.

And lol I know that was a million words but like that was the prologue and the actual rest of the fic goes like this:

Sora’s mom takes care of Vanitas’ comatose body because hey, she’s a pediatric nurse, that kind of thing is literally her job. Riku and Kairi try to bodyguard her for a couple weeks, but the longer Vanitas stays asleep, the less and less often they come around--they’ve got to find Sora, after all.

The longer she takes care of Vanitas-not-Sora though, the worse her loneliness gets, until the deep vein of Darkness sadness (she lost her son not once, not twice, but three times) resonates with the shattered remnants of Vanitas’ heart and she forcefully because Sora got his busybodiness from somewhere generously connects with him enough to wake him up.

(“Go away,” answers a voice without speaking.

“Why?”

“You’re annoying me. I’m tired.”

“You’re hurt.”

“That’s what I said.”

No it isn’t.

There’s a certain sort of sadness only people who’ve lived through losing the light of their lives will ever know. There’s a kind of kinship in surviving separation. Her heart aches, goes out of her all at once, reaching--

“I made my decision. Leave me alone.”

"Did you make that decision because you were alone?”)

Only, you know, Vanitas doesn’t want to be awake or even alive now that he has absolutely no purpose, no master, no X-blade, no mission, nowhere to go, and no chance of ever reuniting with Ven--so fuck off, he’s not going to eat those home-made muffins and he’s not going to go take a bath even if he does stink, and he’s not going to talk, and he’s not coming out from under the covers for anything less than the sweet release of a swift execution.

...But that’s so boring.

So he insults her instead. And threatens her and mocks her and knocks over the water glasses she brings and lets the Unversed chase her out of the room and picks out all the stitches on this ugly hand-sewn quilt and asks her why she’s got a room full of toys but no kid to go in it.

No sell: she’s a pediatric nurse and dealing with sick, miserable, screaming children is what she does every day. And anyway, from seven to eight Sora threw a year of temper tantrums that make this boy look positively mild.

There’s one more thing working in her favor: he’s still curious. She learns: he’s never had a fruit smoothie, read a comic book, or slept in sheets fresh from the dryer. Sora’s old action figures aren’t played with so much as dismembered in effigy (is it that Vanitas is vindictive or that he’s jealous?), but the new electric toothbrush somehow wins grudging approval. The vacuum cleaner startles him the first time she turns it on, but one night when she goes for a drink at 3am, she discovers he’s been teaching himself to use the TV. Finding out the water can come out of the taps already hot buys her a whole seven minutes of intrigued silence, but the existence of ice cube trays might as well be a mortal offense. (”Don’t tell me you people actually wait for the water to--?” Given that he then summons a block of ice longer than the dining room table out of thin air, she thinks on this occasion he might be right though when he leaves said ice block to melt, her charitable feelings dry up.) He has to watch her pick herbs from the garden and cook with them before he can be convinced that the “weeds” are food. In short, he’s barely half way back from feral, and if the man who made him wasn’t already dead, she’d happily go kill that piece of shit herself.

It turns out, with spit, polish, and proper motivation (read as: bribes, read as: hot pot and honey castella), he’ll do the things she asks (sometimes). When he actually commits himself to a task, he’s focused to an alarming degree, meticulous and self-critical, and he stubbornly refuses to give up until he’s content with the results, which means that sometimes on her way to work she finds him where she left him the night before, still glaring, bleary-eyed and bratty, at the broken stand-mixer or mantle clock or book spine that she hoped he could fix with magic. If he spitefully tracks mud all over the house after he relentlessly weeds the whole garden, well, she’d say the benefits still outweigh the costs.

The hoard of creatures that follow him around (”They’re my feelings,” he says, and kicks one without the slightest hesitation) take getting used to, but it’s easier to share space when they make themselves so useful--sometimes even when he can’t be badgered into work, he’s willing the boss the underlings into action: the crooked door on the backyard shed finally gets rehung thanks to a towering brute with a banana peel on its head, and once she opens a jar in the kitchen she doesn’t remember buying and finds it full of rich, warm apple pie.

He gets... better. It’s not linear. They have bad days, days when he breaks things without warning and won’t talk except through stinging barbs, one day so bad he let a flock of his worst feelings pound enormous holes in the living room walls, burns up her favorite rose bush--but they have good days too. Some days he laughs and it isn’t malicious at all; some days he eats with her at the table without even being asked; some days she comes home late to find he’s still awake, ready to poke fun at the tired way she toes off her shoes, and it takes everything she has to keep from saying You really didn’t have to wait up for me.

One day he smiles for no reason at all, and she thinks: The boy’s going to be okay.

(But how in the world is she going to explain all this to Sora?)

And there’s sooo much else I want to write but I can’ttttttt, I don’t have time, so here’s a bullet list of “also featuring:”

Vanitas being a natural Heartless deterrent because none of them want to mess with the biggest Darkness on the block.

Ven, Terra, and Aqua sniffing around trying to figure out whether they need to take Vanitas back (just to make sure he’s properly under watch, of course); Sora’s mom giving them the politest “Fuck you” this side of the universe.

Kairi and Vanitas friendship. Vanitas doesn’t even know it’s happening. Kairi is devious. Vanitas taking over Kairi’s training even though they can’t physically spar because they’ll literally end the world if they fight lol. Kairi taking advantage of Vanitas’ lack of interest in social cues to get him to do things none of the other boys will do with her like clothes shopping.

Kairi and Axel friendship with Roxas being the weird middle man who doesn’t know why they can’t just text each other instead of sending handwritten letters back and forth through him of all people.

Vanitas and Roxas reaching grudging levels of respect because sarcastic bitches gotta support each other.

Roxas and Sora’s mom being hilariously awkward because Sora’s mom doesn’t know if she should also be claiming responsibility for this child too and Roxas is absolutely clueless about the concept of having parents in the first place.

After many chapters of redemption arc, Sora’s mom taking Vanitas with her to work at the hospital so he can turn the sick children’s negative feelings into Unversed and then defeat them. She doesn’t know this hurts him and he sure as fuck isn’t going to tell her.

Everything going to shit when Chirithy shows up, insisting Vanitas is its master and calling him “Ven.” Vanitas was getting better--he was getting over the fact that he’d never be “Ventus” again--

Discovering memories of Daybreak Town and the first Keyblade War with Chirithy’s (and Namine’s!) help. Remembering the existence of old friends--Ephemer, Skuld, the other Union leaders--and the realization that they might still be alive, trapped in a timeless world of sleep.

Vanitas and Riku teaming up after someone (Mickey? Yen Sid?) suggests that Sora’s heart may have returned to the place where all hearts eventually go--the core of light that lies sleeping in the deepest depths of the realm of Darkness. Realm of Darkness road trip! (This is just my excuse to wax philosophical about how being made of Darkness doesn’t actually make anyone evil.)

Finding out that saving Sora will mean finally, actually opening the door to the true Kingdom Hearts, which can only be accessed via Scala Ad Caelum, or, more specifically, the ruins of Daybreak Town that lie beneath it.

Insert some Nomura-esque convoluted plot here about how the clock of Daybreak Town isn’t actually a bell tower but the mechanism for protecting the original X-blade and the door to Kingdom Hearts, and Daybreak!Ventus’ very existence was somehow tied to this clock tower--that’s why Ventus’ and Vanitas’ Keyblades form the two halves of a broken gear: they’re maybe literally the gear that turns the hands of time in the world that once lay closest to the heart of all things. The bell, the sword, the door--they’re all linked, and the only way to save Sora--to save everyone, including the sleeping Dandelions--is to reunite (to wake) their fractured dream of Daybreak with reality, restore the X-blade, and retrieve Sora’s wandering self with the power of Kingdom Hearts’ connection to all worlds and all hearts.

In short, like Nomura, I don’t actually know how I’d ever make it make sense, but the X-blade would get forged by Ven and Vanitas in a safe and sane way (this is just my excuse to give Vanitas a scene where he finally recognizes that he is content to be a separate being from Ventus; that he wants to stay his own person)... Kairi wields the X-blade because fuck you KH3, and everyone gets the damn happy ending they deserve--but most especially Vanitas, who gets to be the big damn hero to finally bring Sora home safe to their mother.

Like guys, I just need Vanitas’ narrative arc to feel coherent and complete. I need to know why he and Ven have a gear motif. How they’re connected to the Dandelions. Whether or not Ventus and Vanitas could ever both simultaneously be at peace despite remaining separate people. Whether Chirithy would have recognized Vanitas. Why Ventus alone had the power to forge the X-blade by reuniting with his other half when it would otherwise have taken 13 Darknesses and 7 Lights. What Sora’s mother would say finding out her son has like five clones now. If anyone would ever recognize that Vanitas had never been shown basic fucking human kindness.

Nomura. Plz.

Survey #146

“peace sells, but who’s buying?”

Have you ever been arrested? For what?  No. Do you like Pres. Obama? Why?  Don't even fight me, dude was funny.  From a political position, I can't answer.  I didn't pay enough attention to form a well-supported opinion. Do you know how to change the oil in your car?  Nope. At what age did you obtain your driver license?  I don't have it yet, but I do expect to probably get it this year. Do you like Slim Jim’s?  g i m m e What are you favorite kind of chips?  Spicy Cheetos. Are there any plants in your house?  I think there's none... How important is it for you and your partner or friends to share a similar taste in music, movies, shows, etc?  Not very important at all. What sort of compliments make you feel the best?  Because I'm a self-conscious piece of shit, calling me pretty or something of the sort and actually sounding sincere can brighten my whole day.  Also just a compliment on my behavior means a lot. If you have a pet, do they sleep with you at night?  Roman does. <3  He sleeps on my hip, arm, or curled beside me. What is the climate and geography like where you live?  Usually warm, humid as fuck in the summer...  We live in a pretty flat area.  Farming terrain. Do you have a Facebook? If no, then why not?  Yeah. Has there ever been a murder in your town?  Yeah. Are you someone who has to analyze everything?  AAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Are you too sensitive for your own good? YUP. Do you still have pictures of you and your ex best friend?  I'm sure in old photo albums Mom keeps. Where does your grandma live?  My only living one technically lives in Florida, but she stays in NY with her son's family a lot.  Probably doesn't much now that she's married, though. Is there a mirror in your room?  We have one we need to put up on my door. Have you ever done hard drugs before?  No. Have you ever lived with a roommate before? Jacob and Amanda when I was in the apartment with Jason. What's the littlest you have slept in?  Naked accidentally lmao. What is your favorite juice? Mixed ones.  Particularly mango ones. Do you love one parent better than the other?  Yeah, admittedly.  But I adore them both. What’s the best club you’ve ever been to? Never been. Do you prefer hardly toasted at all or burnt toast?  You will never see me eat burnt toast. Are there any forms of Art you personally find pointless?  I will never in my entire life understand why scribbles a two-year-old could make sometimes sell for thousands.  But for the artist themselves, if it's therapeutic, then, *shrugs* Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way?  YUP and my mom would always try to fix it.  I still do it. Who were the last two girls you texted?  Sara and Mom. When was the last time you completely broke down?  Uhhhh I'm unsure. Have you ever gone to court?  Yeah, but only to explain to a judge why I felt I should be released from the mental hospital sooner.  Won.  They wanted to keep me for a whole month and I was like um fuck no, especially when your facility sucks. When was the last time you felt left out?  *shrugs* Do you know if women in your family tend to get gray hair early? Have you yourself ever had a gray hair?  Idk, and no. Who in your family has the longest hair? How long is yours? Nicole easily has the longest.  The longer side of my hair just barely passes my ear. What professional teams do you and/or your family root for? Dad's for the Carolina Hurricanes and Cleveland Browns. How many people have you truly fallen IN love with? Two. What’s your favorite bird?  Barn owls. Does your car have an alarm?  I don't have my own car.  Mom's doesn't. What about your house?  No, but Teddy and Bentley suffice well. Have you ever seen your siblings naked?  As kids, sure, and then Nicole has like zero shame walking around the house naked after a shower to get clothes. Did you ever really believe in the tooth fairy?  Lol yeah. Would you ever get your legs waxed? No, sounds painful as fuck.  Especially when your hair's as thick as mine. @_@ Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? HELL NO.  It looks n o t h i n g like me. Have you ever had surgery or stitches? Both. Are you unemployed?  Yeah. Do you think the govt has a cure for cancer, but is hiding it from public? Tbh maybe.  Like, have you not heard the billion ideas that could cure cancer, but these ideas are never pursued?  And even those that have been, I would not at all be surprised if one way or even multiple have been found but kept silent because the world runs on money.  Might as well let people stay sick and milk millions out of them, right?  I don't trust the government for shit. Do you have a Mexican friend?  Yeah. Are both of your parents still alive?  Thankfully. Was your ex born in America?  All but one, although I really don't even consider us as ever dating. What popular social media platforms AREN’T you on?  I don't have a personal Instagram, no Snapchat, and I literally only have a blank Twitter to like Mark's shit get on my level. What was the last thing you were stressed about? Uhhh how am I blanking on this. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool?  Pool.  I could never handle a trampoline again with my knees, plus it just doesn't entertain me as it did as a kid. Do you have the same favorite colors you had when you were a kid?  Yeah.  My favorite color has always been hues of red. What do you like to put in your tea? I hate tea. Who have you been told you look like? My sisters, at least somewhat.  And Mom and Dad. What color are your doorknobs?  Gold. Do you own a bobblehead?  No. What do you make wishes on?  Nothing. What is your city known for? "You mean Tennessee?" What is your state known for? Mountain Dew, Pepsi, Bojangle's, probably half of all country bands... What’s your favorite Paramore song?  "That's What You Get." What was the subject of your last photo shoot? I couldn't tell you the last time I was in what I'd call a "photo shoot," not since I was a kid...  The most recent one I did was of Colleen and her son. What are some of your favorite sounds?  Wind chimes, waves, fire crackling, the breeze through leaves, sARA'S SINGING YOU GO AMY LEE... lots of things. When two family members are fighting, what do you usually do?  There's a chance I'll be dumb and butt in if I think I could defuse the situation, but I'll sometimes just awkwardly stay silent. What’s your all time FAVORITE freezer food? Do you eat that a lot?  I dunno, that's broad as hell... If you had to choose, would you rather be an alcoholic or pothead?  The latter. What are you listening to?  A Jeffree Star video oops I've fallen in love with him tbh. What if someone asked you to be in a relationship with them?  I'm already happily in one so the answer would be no. What will your next piercing be?  It's probs gonna be my collarbones. Your phone is ringing. It’s your ex. What do you say?  Well I know none of my ex's numbers but Girt's, but I'll just say I knew them.  Aaron, I'd be very confused considering we haven't talked since like freshman year, but greet him like I would any old friend.  Juan or Tyler, wouldn't answer.  Girt, answer like normal.  Jason, tbh I'd answer and do whatever I could to show how much better my life is without him.  Bitchy but idc.  After the shit he shoved me into, I want him to know I came out better than ever. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?  Quite a few times but still not enough weeps. Will you kiss that person again?  YEAH. Do you like champagne?  Never tried it. Do you like cinnamon on your apple pie?  I hate pie. Do you clap or cheer when at a concert?  Only been to one, but yeah. Do you use a comb or brush?  Mostly a comb now that my hair's short. Do you eat the crust of your sandwiches?  It's the part I eat first. Have you ever had a vacation where you stayed in a cabin?  No, I wish. Would you rather call or text?  Omfg do not call me. What color would you dye your hair right now if you could, and it was guaranteed to look good?  Okay so currently I'm dying (hawhaw) to get this mostly peach color, but have it fade to fiery, reddish-orange on the longer side.  It's based on a picture and would cost over $100, so.  Guess who's not doing it anytime soon lmao. Do you like the way you look naked? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. Have you ever dissected an animal?  In high school. Do you believe that humankind has a future in space (will we live there some day)? Maybe.  Probably, actually. What (not who) do you care about?  Gay rights, animal rights (no, not to PETA degree), equal human rights in general, the first amendment, maintaining peace/pacifism, conservation efforts... I'unno, lots of stuff, if you want the answer to be like, big topics. Who or what is really the absolute root and source of all evil?  Discontent.  Now this itself doesn't always lead to evil actions, but just about any malevolence I can think up stems from that. Has anyone ever led you on? No. Would you rather date someone 4 feet tall or 9 feet tall? The former. What is the one thing you do that your friends wish you didn’t? I've heard "don't be afraid to reach out first" a billion times. Do you believe you have a soul?  Yes. Would you rather have a child that is more confident or more curious? Curious.  Ask questions, learn things. Who influences you to be the way you are?  LOTS of people! What is one idea that you live by?  Yikes, that's hard.  But I suppose one of the biggest is that caring about the world and what's within it does wonders. How can people act to make you want to get to know them? Be super open, honest, and shameless of yourself.  See the positives, SHOW you clearly care about others, have passion... and if you're funny, that's a bonus. When are you at a loss for words?  It's honestly rare I seriously am.  If I in person was to witness something like abused dogs screaming at being pet for the first time, that'd almost definitely get me. What is the worst time to be alone? When suicidal.  You.  Need.  To.  Talk. What do your parents do that you will try never to do?  I'll never smoke like Dad.  And I'm never having kids, but if I did, I would never, ever spank them like Mom did me and my sisters. Who is your favorite visual artist?  Some folks on deviantART.  The three probably in a tie are NukeRooster (I prefer lots of her older stuff, though; also got permission to tattoo one of her paintings one day yeets loudly), sandara, and Culpeo-Fox. What is the most magical thing that has ever happened to you?  I'm fucking pathetic that time Mark reblogged my gif lmao my soul evacuated my body and left me for dead for like three days & nothing felt real.  Whenever that gif comes up in my activity now, a single tear falls. Do you have high blood pressure? No, it's usually kinda low. Have you ever pumped gas?  No.  I'm 22.  Weeps. Do you have any appointments this month?  I have a therapy and psychiatry appointment monthly, so yes. Do you like bras that have removable straps? h u n n y I ain't in the Itty-Bitty Titty Committee so it makes no difference to me, me wearing bras without straps is a danger to society. What are you the most sensitive about? Can we like never comment on my weight.  Actually, scratch that, that's not the worst.  I would probably rip someone's eyes out and sob for a week if someone claimed I did Jason wrong.  I'd fucking lose it. Have you ever left a mean unsigned note? No, I don't think I've ever left a mean note. What are three things that you try not to think about?  Perhaps more than anything is the fact one day, I may become immune to the medications that played a big role in saving my life.  I try really, really hard to never think about that.  I do pretty well at that, thankfully...  Two others are hazards of me driving and the possibility of getting another job that only flops. Is casual sex acceptable for you? Abso-fucking-lutely not. What form of sexual protection do you use? Being in a gay relationship lmao.  Okay but seriously I take birth control, but for my period. Do you believe in the need for political correctness? It's gone way too goddamn far jfc. Does anyone have a video tape of you doing something embarrassing?  Mom probably lmao. What is the worst fault a person can have?  Abusive. Who have you read a biography about?  Ozzy Osbourne. What do you find yourself encouraging others to try?  BELIEVE IN YOUR CAPABILITIES!!! Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch?  Maggots, slugs, some spiders and insects, centipedes... If it were legal would you own a human slave (race unimportant)?  Nope. Do/did you always say goodnight to your parents before bed?  No. Are there any holidays you don’t celebrate?  It'd be easier to tell you what we do celebrate.

Life Story Part 49

(it’s turning out that i am suddenly being given little bits of time to do some writing, so i have been more productive than i thought i was going to be)

The doctor's appointment came, and I was taken in to see the doctor that had given me prescription meds for my chemical imbalance back when I was in 5th grade. The problem was, I was pushing myself close to starving, and getting up each morning at dawn to exercise and I wasn't really letting myself stop too much until I hit the point of exhaustion. When I did eat, it was always counted, and it was usually fruit, fish or a healthy shake. My father, who's metabolism should have been lower than mine, was working out half as much as I had, and had already lost 20 lbs. Given that I was only 15 (going on 16) at the time, there was a strong indication that something was wrong. That, and I kept skipping periods. I would sometimes not have one for six months to a year.

So, I went on the day of my appointment, and I could tell that the doctor has some kind of strong moral judgment about me. He checked my eyes and heart and lungs and all of those things, and then rather than ask me about any of the symptoms that I had written down on the paper, he started asking me if I did drugs. He then asked me if I had ever tried to kill myself. Given that I had come in in an okay mood, I didn't understand what prompted this question, and I just told him no – because even though I had been very depressed off and on in my life, I had never tried to kill myself and that wasn't what I came in for. He started asking me about my grades, and how many friends I had, and if I participated in sports. He kept implying that I was eating sugary foods when my father wasn't looking. He then asked me if I did drugs again, only in a slightly different way. It was obvious to even me that he wasn't actually interested in getting to the bottom of my health issues by asking me health related questions. He was profiling me.

He told my father that I had serious mental illness issues and that I needed to take a drug that he prescribed. I sat in the doctor's office while I listened out through the door into the hallway as the doctor explained these things to my father. My father was kind of taken aback by the diagnosis, and like a fool, he was embarrassed to be talking about my personal healthy with anyone – something that he really didn't concern himself with obviously. I kind of already knew that he wasn't actually going to buy meds for me or anything like that, but I was mostly frustrated because I felt like my voice in the whole matter was being drowned out by what the doctor wanted and what my father wanted. Nobody actually seemed interested in what was really wrong with me. I really had this knowing that my period wasn't stopping simply because of stress, and my inability to lose weight wasn't because I was secretly running into the closet to eat cake.

I think my father was feeling personally embarrassed by the way the doctor had spoken to him, though I am not certain what got his goat actually. There was some elements of their conversation I didn't get a good listening to. He was furious at me as soon as we left the building, slamming the doors and not talking to me. I kind of tried to explain to him that I felt like the doctor was judging me because I had died my hair bright red, and my father snapped at me and started saying that I deserved to be judged for my hair and for my eyebrow ring, and that I was an embarrassment to him and that he didn't want to be seen with me. That I didn't deserve to be treated like a normal person if I wasn't going to start looking like one. I made the mistake of trying to argue my case, that there are certain services that nobody should discriminate against another person for, and this caused my father to start screaming at me to shut up. For nearly a half hour, I was stuck in the car with him as he shouted at me and called me names. It was the first time I think, that I tried very hard not to falter to his cruel and egotistically loud voice. He was basically saying my hair was sign that I was some kind of disgusting person inside and I didn't deserve to be treated well. He started screaming at me about my grades – though it was summer vacation and technically I didn't have grades. The thing about that was, is that I had a 2.0 by the time I left Kendrick High School. I know that doesn't seem very impressive, but for almost the entire time I had been in junior or senior high, I had never had a grade that was higher than a 40% with the exception of study skills and art. Many of my F's were the low 20% or less kind. I had somehow kind of picked myself out of that and managed to get an average 70%.

So, I told him that my grades had been very good, and I could tell this made him even angrier. It was at this point that I sort of realized that he didn't actually want me to do well. This isn't to say that he was personally responsible for every one of my failures, but he to a degree had designed my life away from me truly having that much of a chance, and there was an intention to keep me down in that design. The automatic look of malice on his face when he realized that I was passing school for the first time since anyone could remember actually made me realize that he liked the idea that I was failing. It made him feel good about himself and justified in treating me badly. He then started attacking my personal appearance, calling me ugly, and making this insane deal about the red hair. I sarcastically shot back that a person has to be pretty fucking weak to where seeing the color red would devastate their personal life in any real way, and for the millionth time, I was accused of trying to rebel against society. I shot back that I dyed my hair red simply because my favorite color was red and if he didn't want me to dye my hair, he shouldn't have bought me so many My Little Ponies to play with as a child, since they probably had a lot to do with what I wanted to do with my own hair. Because if I was going to be true to who I was, I honestly just loved color. I had a lot of rebellious silly ideas when I was that age, but dyeing my hair had never been any strongly rebellious thing for me. I was just being myself. If other people saw being yourself as some kind of militant rebellious act, than I didn't know what to do for them.

The whole thing ended up dissolving before I got home, he upscaled his attack till he was just yelling at me continuously so loud I couldn't talk, calling me names, telling me to shut up, calling me worthless like my mother, and all that nonsense I have come to be accustomed to. So I eventually just started crying in frustration and resentment. Besides, we had been driving down the road when all this was going down, and I was afraid if it escalated any further we would get into a wreck. I always felt there was some underlying sexism about this entire affair. Maybe there wasn't. But I just felt like a lot of my power was taken away by a bunch of men. My father had had long hair when he was a teenager at a time and place when it was highly unpopular to do so. And he still was very proud of that fact. But when a girl did something different with their hair, it was suddenly a disgusting abomination that told the world I was some kind of freak or a 'slut'. The doctor had essentially made some kind of cold assessment of what he wanted to do. I really think he was paid by the drug company to peddle the drug he wanted me to take. He was never interested in my health issues, because they were 'women's health issues' to him.

When we got home, I was very afraid of my father, and I just ran in my room to be alone. I was not happy to even be home, and I wanted to go back to my mom's. I don't know what happened or what made him cool off, but about an hour later, my father came up to my room and told me that we were going to go to the movies. I felt drained and confused, and I did want to get back to my mom's as soon as possible to watch Johnny Depp movies and all that stuff, so I didn't object, though the entire act of going out to have any kind of fun at all seemed shady and unprecedented given all that had just occurred.

The hour drive all the way back into Lewiston I said next to nothing. There is a point where I can be horribly frustrated and mad at someone, but at some point in an argument, I simply become emotionally exhausted and melancholy, and I feel like I am more up against a bigger battle against time and nothingness that nobody can win. It's mostly disheartening to see my personal efforts made to connect with someone or communicate at all dashed to pieces and my sense of self worth, already quite shaky, knocked back down after months of attempting to repair it. In any case, all this feeling goes inward. I should still in these times perhaps, rally against my oppressor or realign myself into a position of strength, but most of the time my mind is no longer working all that well to do that. It's not that I have given up exactly, but the battle has been lost. Besides, I was dizzy from not eating, and there weren't enough carbohydrates in my system to even contemplate those kinds of things.

The movie we ended up seeing was March of the Penguins, narrated by Morgan Freeman. It was about penguins, as the name suggests, and their yearly life cycle, and the hardships they endure down in Antarctica. It wasn't the greatest documentary that had ever been made, but it was okay. It was kind of strange as I watched the film, because it seemed so far removed from what I was doing in my own life, and yet it was equally as real and probably at least one hundred thousand times more important. It took me out of my own life for a little while, and though I hadn't forgotten the fight I was just in, or how I had been treated once again, like so many other times, I genuinely felt that there was some sort of terrific truth in always remembering that the world is a very big and fantastic place, even with you not in the center of it all. Of course after the movie, my father made this lame attempt of saying sorry, though not really a sorry at all. He just said 'Lets not fight Renee..' as though I had been the one that had initiated the fight, or we were both equally as responsible, when it really had been him that had lost it. I am just going to say, for the most part, it really always had been him.

It was around this same time that I learned that The White Stripes would be playing in the Gorge, which is this scenic outdoor area that is set up in the southern central part of Washington State. This is about four hours away from where I lived and there was never a band that came that close to me that I wanted to see more. I had loved The White Stripes ever since I had bought Elephant for Christmas two years before. So I asked my father if we could maybe go. I was willing to pay for everything, the gas, the tickets. I felt like both my mother and father kind of owed me. I had been their babysitter for years up to that point, and had they paid someone to fill in for what I had done, they would have been out by tens of thousands by this point. They weren't home very often. Of course, it was wishful naive thinking to think that I was going to be reimbursed for that time I had spent. My father, of course said no. He couldn't, and wouldn't take the time off to go to a concert on my behalf. Which I kind of understood, since the factory was sort of cold and strict about these sorts of things.

I asked my mom, and I really was hoping she would say yes, but she didn't. She actually could have taken one of the days off, and the second day she had off anyway, but she wasn't about to spend that time away from Danny. I pleaded with her. I had never really done this before, pleaded or begged for something desperately. I wasn't the type who typically would keep asking once I got a definitive answer. She told me she would think about it, and then she still said no later on. I was shaken and upset and I started crying. The White Stripes being something I could see live was one of the top things I had ever wanted. This escalated into her mocking me, and calling me pathetic like my father. It seemed like wherever I went, with my mom I was always too much like my dad and with my dad I was always too much like my mom. Nobody even wanted to claim my looks, or any of my personality characteristics. It was strange to be unclaimed like that, when typically parents want to point out what features their children have that they got from them. With me, it was always the opposite. In what way was I not like them?

This didn't happen very often, but I got angry and started pointing out her failures towards me, and explaining that doing something like this would be a way to correct those things and I would overlook all the years I babysat while she ran around doing meth. It did no good. She still wouldn't budge, and I think by this point, she sort of enjoyed her position in being able to tell me no and watch me flail vulnerably, convulsing with desperation for her to change her mind. My mother was a bit of an introverted bully at heart. I was shouting and crying and I could barely breath. She started laughing at me.

Later that same day, I was looking out the window as I cooked something on the stove, and I watched David and Allison playing out in the dusty dirt in the front of the house. David was visibly mad about something, and in turn he knocked over his own castle of popsicle sticks and began screaming and running to the house. As soon as he got into the house, he started crying that Allison had broke his castle. He had started to do this a lot with Allison, breaking his own things or lying to get her in trouble, when he had in fact been given more to begin with, or had been the one at fault. It was making me frustrated, because my parents didn't say anything. Often they would just scold Allison because it was easier than getting to the bottom of it. I really was very disapproving of this sort of thing, and I often would address these issues I had seen just as soon as my parents had been off to work. For this reason, I became the real parent in a sense. I didn't provide food or shelter or those kinds of basics, but at this point I was trying to set a standard for Allison and David to live by, and I was the one who listened intently to their school days, when my parents were largely negligent in those areas. My father would often believe David over Allison, because it was his firm and loud opinion that women were deviant by nature and sneaky. Men were prone to be more violent, but in my father's sick little world view, women provoked men. Men were not capable of being sneaky or using psychological mind games. So Allison often time got the blame for these small childhood skirmishes and it made me rather mad.

I immediately called David out, saying that I had seen him break his own castle, and that Allison hadn't done anything. I told my mother, and he just denied it. Allison was sent to the corner, and I was suddenly in a rage. My mother was folding clothes on her bed, and David ran up to her and was cuddling on her, with a malign look towards me that annoyed me even more. Allison just seemed to accept the punishment, and it made me even angrier. I started yelling at my mother about how she spoiled David and I looked straight at David and told him that he knew the truth about what he had done and that he was pathetic. I was really mad at the two of them, and some part of me wanted to hit them both in the face. I didn't though. Instead I grabbed the pile of clothes my mother was folding and I threw them on the ground. David, who was sort of laying on his back against my mother, had this perfect opening to power kick me in the jaw, and he did just that. I remember crying and holding my face completely jarred. My mother was laughing at me and saying I deserved it. David was laughing at me. I knew that if I reacted any further it would be violence towards the both of them, and that realization scared me a little. It seemed like I had been pushed to this point where I was capable of going a little farther than I had thought myself capable of. I didn't want to be that kind of person, so I took the defeat.

In shock, my head pounding, tears pouring and with a jaw that I discovered was now difficult to move, I stumbled out of the house and down the road. I was sobbing so much I was barely conscious of where I was going or why. It was one hundred degrees outside, and I just kind of stumbled into a ravine on the side of the road sobbing. I don't even know what I was feeling at that point. It just kind of seemed like a lot of everything and nothing all at the same time. Eventually some people stopped, and cautiously called out to me 'Miss, are you okay?', which caused me to become more composed against everything I felt and tell them I was fine. They offered to give me a ride somewhere, but of course there was nowhere for me to go. I told them I was fine and I just sat there some more until I saw my mom drive off to work.

Strangely in all of this, Allison seemed to kind of look down on me for this too, though it had been her best interest I had felt I was defending. I think Allison, seeing the distressing situation and the outcome of it, felt that she would rather feel she had actually done what she was accused of rather than see what had happened, So she resented me too, albeit with a more tender heart than the others. I don't think she wanted to be like me, whimsically ecstatic about life one day, and then putting myself out there to be knocked down again and again by the family. She grew up seeing what happened when you put up for the truth, or you stuck to your guns on something, or you opposed the group. It never really did pan out for me, but I never stopped having that attitude. I think seeing the pain I caused myself – at least as she came to see it, and seeing the violence in general done in her name, she just would rather conform.

And then, shortly after this, I was cooking chicken on the stove at my mother's, and I burned my fingers, badly. It all happened very suddenly. It was one of those ones that has a flat surface. I didn't realize it was still hot. It just melted the tips of three of my fingers. I was in miserable pain. The fingers swelled up with yellow puss and the skin was raw. I was howling in misery for hours. There was no pain medicine for it. I held my hand in ice water, but it wasn't doing enough. I was basically in a state of hysteric pain until I just somehow passed out all at once, at least that is what Allison and David witnessed of me. They were fearful and trying their best to be helpful, but of course there was nothing that either one of them could do.

So, all of this stuff happened in the same two-three week period that I wasn't talking to Sarah. I had managed to fight with and alienate myself from just about everyone I knew by trying my best to be upfront about whatever it was that was bothering me. It was a rather unfortunate run of luck, and I was kind of floored by it. My head hurt from crying, and I just wanted to get away. I liked to envision myself thin and beautiful, in a position of power over my own life, and in a state of constant transcendence and creative chaotic inspiration. If I could just have those things, if I could just have something to look forward to that would get me out of the mess of myself and everyone I knew – to elevate my own existence in some way, to maybe go back to how I felt when Zack had sang creep to me, then everything would be better. Telling myself that I would overcome everyone, that I would step on anyone's head to get out of the place I was in at that moment was like a lullaby to me that made me feel better.

I eventually started talking to Sarah again because we needed to get the school thing going. It was awkward, and I don't think Sarah ever fully understood why I had decided to stop talking to her in the first place, so I think to a degree she felt annoyed with me, not because I had made an impact, but because she felt I had done something incredibly rude towards her. This whole matter of our fighting I think caused more distress for me than it did her, so a lot of the fact that I was just trying to clear my head from all the anger and such hadn't quite occurred to her.

We discovered that we couldn't go to school at the Lewiston High school forty miles away, which is initially where I was set on going. I didn't want to have to see Ava up in the halls of the Moscow High School forty miles the other way, but given that Lewiston had said no to us going, we tried the Moscow High School, who also turned us down. Neither Sarah or I had good enough grades or enough credits. It was well known that the kids in the smaller towns like Kendrick and Orofino were scholastically behind the kids in the bigger schools, so it was a pain in the school's neck to take us in, and they would refuse students on that basis alone, not to mention that we were living pretty far away.

So both of the regular high schools were out of the equation. We decided to try maybe going to an alternative school. I had heard of these schools before, but I knew to many people it seemed like it was just a school where you went and everyone knew you were a failure. I imagined that nobody would be in any of the classes other than some version of Beavis and Butthead. We ended up deciding to try the Paradise Creek Regional Alternative School up in Moscow. We called in and met up with the councilor there one morning. The school was kind of strange. It was near the outskirts of town, though still located in the town itself – quite near the university. There was an A&W gas station across the street. The building had once been a 7 Eleven, and you could kind of see that from the look of the building. It was rather small and enclosed by a hill behind it.

We went in and met the councilor. She seemed very different from what I was used to when it came to teachers or councilors. She didn't want to be called Mrs. anything. She was very small, had long wavy blonde hair, and was very warm and calculated in how she spoke to us. She didn't waste her time telling us that we were both bad students. I wouldn't go so far to say that she didn't have an ere of egotism too her, but she genuinely seemed to want to help us and wasn't as interested in making either one of us feel small or powerless in the discussion we had. She met with us, and upon seeing that I had only 15% of the credits needed to graduate, she let me enroll. It was explained that the school ran much differently. For one, we didn't have to be there until noon. This seemed unreal to me, and too good to be true. I naturally stayed up late, and as such, I had been going on four hours of sleep for several years. Secondly, she told us there would be no homework. I couldn't believe that either. I wondered how that could even be. She also said we could eat in the class, as long as we didn't do it disruptively – the same went for using the bathroom, and students could even bring their newborns in while they were in class. There was something sort of sane about this school that I didn't know how to feel about that. It seemed like it didn't match the schema of school to me for the faculty and the regulations to make sense. We also wouldn't be learning out of, or needing to buy any school books. All of the lessons were taught from our teacher, and her husband, Mike's personal knowledge and the source material he would bring to us in segments.

Sarah and I drove home in a daze. It was finally done. We were no longer ever going to Kendrick Junior/Senior High School ever again. Gone were the smelly hallways and the detention slips and watching Kyle and the other jocks jump all over one another screaming at the glory of the Kendrick Tigers. I wouldn't even had to wake up early anymore, it was really that simple.

I received one last and final prank phone call from the Kendrick boys. I had just come back from a walk around town, and I was kind of winding down when the phone rang, and my father picked it up. Their was a male's voice on the other end wanting to talk to me. I nervously answered, and quickly realized that it was a prank phone call, the same kind of calls that I had received pretty frequently in 8th grade. A small part of me wanted to entertain these blockheads on the other line, but I had more dignity than that and I told them to stop calling me and hung up. My dad had watched the entire conversation. I think he felt it might have been some secret admirer I had had initially, so some of my degree of annoyance was put on for the fact that I didn't want to make him suspicious of me more than he already seemed to be half the time. He asked me to check the caller ID with *69, and I did and named allowed the phone number that had tried to dial. Just at that moment, Khris Blegen (Kyle from the days of old's little brother – who was my brother and sister's friend), was over at our house to hang out with Allison and David, and upon hearing his number, instantly told us all that the number was his home phone number – meaning the call had come from the Blegens.

Upon hearing this, my father got this vengeful and gleeful look in his eye, marched right up to our neighbor, the Blegen's door, and demanded to know who had called the house. About ten of the snobbiest jocks filed out of the house, and my father asked each one of them who had done the calling. Most of them backed off fearfully. In all the years that people had thrown this kind of stuff at me, however benign I ultimately felt it was, no one had ever had to contend with my father like this. Samantha's older brother Jake was in the crowd of boys, and he started saying he was going to beat my father up. It was kind of ridiculous really. My father at the time was bench pressing a lot and knew how to fight at least to some extent. Given his work out routine and his need to get fit for the Hot Men of the Lewis-Clark Valley 2006 Calendar, he was looking pretty fit. Jake was nothing but a bobblehead in comparison. So Jake and this smaller and smaller group of boys – most of them apologizing and getting away verses my father ensued out in the Blegen's yard. Jake ended up calling his dad, claiming that his dad would come and beat up my father. Steve, Jake and Sam's dad, was a fool, and he called my father challenging him to a fight. He promised to be there in one hour to put the fear of god in my father, but then he never actually did show up.

The whole thing seemed very distant from me in every way. I hadn't really cared if someone wanted to call me to ask if my refrigerator was running or not. It didn't hurt my feelings. It just seemed like a waste of time. These people weren't real to me anymore. But I think because my father knew he had wronged me on some level of his psyche, felt this need to blame these particular boys for abusing me and combat them in order to deal with what he was not emotionally cut out to do. And honestly, these boys probably did deserve some kind of retaliation from someone. Not for my sake, but for the general sense of entitlement they felt in acting out against unpopular kids in general. I couldn't help but think of that Karen girl in the class below who took every slight very personally, constantly getting notes in her locker and kick me signs put on her back, and how she eventually had to leave school because of it. So overall, I felt justice was fair. Everyone who came outside of the Blegen's house looked scared, and Ronnie Blegen herself said Kyle had it coming.

I was helping my father do some yardwork in later summer, trimming these bushes around the front of the house. Given that the home I live in was antique and built in Edwardian style back in the late 1800's, the intricate style had a lot of crevices where wasps would set up shop. It wouldn't be uncommon for there to be twenty nests set up just in the front of the house alone, and possibly up to fifty or sixty around the whole house and the rock garden in general. And I was always very frightened of wasps. I wouldn't scream and lose my mind by any means, but it was impossible for me to think or ignore a wasp anywhere near me. I saw wasps going in and out of this bush in front of the house that my father was aggressively ordering me to make myself useful by trimming. I told him that I knew there were several nests in that bush, and I felt like it wouldn't be safe for me to get in there and trim that part. This made him angry. He was shirtless and the hot sun was making him sweaty and angry. He ordered me to stop BEING A BABY! Like some kind of drill sergeant. 

He pissed me off. I knew he was trying to make me cry at this point. He looked weak to me, getting in my face about something very practical. I decided to prove him wrong. While he was standing there, I put my hand right into the wasps' nests and sure enough they started flying out and all over the place. He personally ran off, but I just stood there and kept trimming, letting myself get stung about twenty times, it hurt but I was so annoyed I didn't care. He looked at me foolishly, and eventually called desperately at me and ordered me to get away from the bush. Sometimes you just have to prove a point.

PART 48 - http://tinyurl.com/ydcn5uuu

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PART 1 - http://tinyurl.com/l8xbvg8

All of the aesthetic asks please

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

I last sang to myself…hm…about ten minutes ago? Before my roommate came back from her class! All Time Low by Jon Bellion is stuck in my head today!

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

Hm…this is a very good question…probably if we will ever live on other planets. Space is v neat.

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Living!! Something I’ve been doing for almost 19 years!! Because sometimes being alive is Rough™️️ and that’s okay! I try my best and that’s all a person can do!

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

There’s two that came right to mind! The first is the most recent, when my aunt let me play with her makeup and hair and I low-key transformed her into the next Stevie Nicks. Good TImes™️️! The other one that came right to mind is when I got to see my favorite person for the first time in over a year when she came home for a weekend. I miss her bunches.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

I mean probably? I’d probably not continue my college education and try to travel different places. Work on my bucket list. But I also potentially wouldn’t change anything.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

Pet a giraffe (done), own a hedgehog, and own a bed and breakfast (in no particular order)

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

She’s got shoulder-length brown hair and big, beautiful sea-glass colored eyes. Full-lips and a contagious smile. Her entire persona just makes you want to sit and listen to what she has to say for hours on end. Her voice calms me down. Her sense of humor can be a little dark sometimes but that’s okay, because it makes me laugh. (I guess I can be pretty dark, too) She has been through a lot, but she has never stopped fighting and I truly admire that about her. I love her a lot. She’s like an angel to me.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

I feel I had a relatively normal childhood!

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

Pssshhh yesterday when I got in a car accident, I cried in front of my roommate, the other driver who was involved, and two police officers.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

I’d probably pick my cousin John. He’s a man of quiet solitude and loves the outdoors. His mind wanders a lot so I feel it’d be a good fit. ‘Specially since my eyes are too bad to see that far away :P

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

Maybe? If we were stuck together for a long period of time, sure.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

My friend Nikki. She and I were wandering around the city and talking and being idiots. She’s a long-time childhood friend.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

I’d engrave “nothing is set in stone” on my gravestone with my own two hands so that way everyone who sees it can roll their eyes in exasperation at me.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

I lowkey think I had a thing for people for brown eyes - every person I’ve dated has had brown eyes. (Except one, but we don’t talk about that.) They’re beautiful and deep, and there’s so much more…to them than…what…meets…the…eye…I hate myself.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways.” This is the story of my life. i am messy. I am complicated. I live in constant anxiety and I always show up anyways.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

Things that Happened™️️

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

Move to another country. Buy a little house and a dog and lots of flowers. Create the aesthetic that I will probably never be able to afford.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

With some things I am too forgiving. With others I hold too many grudges. I don’t like being this way really because if I forgive I never forget and since I never forget, I feel like I never truly forgive. winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

(I’m going to do an estimate on words.)

Dear twelve year old me,You are going to make so many mistakes. So, so many mistakes. Right now is the beginning of where we as a person went wrong. We treat ourselves like crap, and I wish I could warn you of what is going to happen, but I can’t. I, for one am not a time traveler, and B) you become a better person because of it all. I hope. I don’t know. I’m still working on it. Read a lot of books. Make a lot of art. Ignore boys in general cuz boy oh boy do you have another thing coming. Sincerely, Me. The Older Screw-up™️️

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

Neither. I am Punk Pastel™️️

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

LOVE THEM. I have 6 piercings so far, though my final number is aimed to be around 12. I have one tattoo, but I plan on becoming a walking canvas. It’s my body, and I want to treat it like the masterpiece it is.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

I either wear a shit ton of makeup or nothing at all. There is no in between with me. But I really LOVE makeup.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

I grew up on Pink Floyd, so I guess I have them to blame for my constant Angst™️️.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

LMAO I can’t do speeches in front of a class, no way in hell would I be able to say something to the entire world. It’d probably just be a *choking noise*

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Christmas-y!Hannah Montana/the Jonas Brothers - honestly don’t remember too much of that concertScott Stapp - Really happy and chill because my dad was with me and very happy. Warped Tour - Very emo. Just…very, very emo. Black Veil Brides - I had a headache the next day but it was a lot of fun! Nothingbutthieves - I had no idea who this band was but they ended up being really good. I felt very relaxed and old…there were a lot of younger kids there.X-Fest- I was really only there to see Wheezer and Panic! At the Disco but it was sooooo much fun. Lots of dancing and GORGEOUS sunsets.Florence and the Machine - Like the gypsy princess I wish I could be. Taylor Swift (all of her tours) - I am always going to love Taylor Swift. Her music just makes me very happy and I’m not ashamed to say that I love her. Very dance. Much smile. Many off-key singing from my aunt and I.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

My Person, Angel. And it could say anything in the world, I’d still be happy because this week is already extremely Rough™️️

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

My desk at home is very cute and artsy but the one here at school is kinda really messy.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

At home I usually take a bath, wash my face, brush my teeth, put on my fleetwood Mac record and my fairy lights and go on tumblr. (I know, it sounds fake. But it’s true.)

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

Technically there’s two things. I like girls and I have a tattoo.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

It would be pink ALL over and it’d be longer than it is now so I can wear space buns and put hair glitter in it.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

Sarah, Isabella, Megan, Morgan, and Jules. I don’t know what we would do or where we would go but I think it’d be v fun.

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

I wish school was over (I’m stressed) I wish for a hedgehog (they’re so cute)And I wish all my friends were happy (I’m lame)

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

Oh I’ve decided for halloween next year I’ll be Van gogh. I’m going to wear my starry night dress and have an ear necklace and carry around sunflowers.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

Never been high. I got drunk once and made out with a boy.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

Kill anything or anyone

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

Song: Landslide by Fleetwood Mac

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

I’m gonna pass on this one.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?I am a girl and I had short hair once (its still pretty short) but I loved it

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

My friend Sam. Vanilla Chai Tea Latte

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

Sleep.

This was very long but very fun! Thank you anon!!!

unusual asks

i got tagged so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

who’s your celebrity crush? roger taylor absolutely. no question. my fave era is the 70s roger taylor but i love all the roger eras

favorite movies? blair witch project and harold and maude

rant about your favorite musician? okay roger taylor is not a STRONG songwriter persay but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a fun and catchy one! radio gaga is an anthem and it’s so catchy! BUT he did rhyme “miss you” with “all this visual” so... he’s also a drum god and his solo in keep yourself alive is kickass

do you think its ok to separate the artist from the art? yes, in some instances but there are definitely times you cant

how many accounts do you have? 3 i think. i have this one and then a sad bitch one and then one for just music stuff

what jewelry are you wearing? gold stud earrings, necklace that says “killah”, gold chain, 3 gold rings

something you wish was more usual to see nowadays? potion/tonic/tincture making. i feel like it would be really fun for some reason but i also realize vaccines exist and are more useful

favorite brand of clothing? i thrift mostly. cheaper. love me some goodwill baby!!

name a dog? libbie! my beagle doxie baby girl. she’s 1 1/2 and i adopted her at 8 weeks old from the SPCA

what unusual talent do you have? i can put my eyes in two different directions like a chameleon

what’s the most interesting schools gossip you’ve ever heard? not really “gossip” but some dude toked up on the roof of the science building in my sophomore year of high school

opinions on recycling? i am an absolute tree hugger so i don’t even use plastic water bottles but i recycle everything i can under the sun. i will take cardboard boxes and bottles and cans home from work just so they get recycled and not thrown out. i also want to start using reusable produce bags and stuff but i already use reusable grocery bags mostly and stuff like that

what’s your coffee order? milk, no sugar. sometimes black but i don’t like sweet coffee like the macchiatos or whatever

what’s a question do you constantly get asked? are you asian/ what happened to your back / what’s your major / how tall are you

if you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where? either “mercury” on the inside or my finger or this drawing i have of persephone holding a pomegranate in her lap with the text “leave it in the lap of the gods” underneath on my forearm

weird fact about your taste of music? i associate songs with people. like one specific song will bring back every memory of a specific person. my first boyfriend tyson is shakedown street by the dead, my friend i had a crush on is past lives by børns, my friend david is missy by the punch brothers, my friends layla and julia are wildest dreams by taylor swift, my friend holt is starboy by the weeknd, my friend caleb is day tripper by the beatles, my brother is dreams by alvvays, etc.

what’s your favorite teacher you’ve ever had? my english teacher in grade 10. also a prof at vcu so he had great taste in literature and music (sonic youth, zeppelin) and he would play songs i liked because he knew i liked them. i had a total crush on him

describe your blog in 3-6 words? mash up of things i like

what’s a conspiracy or supernatural thing you believe in? i believe in so many. mothman, stairs in the woods, ghosts/spirits, aliens, wendigos. so many

if you could see any concert tonight what would you choose? i’m definitely in either a punch brothers or grouplove mood

if you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose? picking (at my skin, hair, cuticles) and nail biting

can you dance? sing? i used to dance before my back surgery, i can sing if i really try but i’m really only good for my falsetto

what’s something you can’t stop buying? anything but mostly music stuff. drum sticks, cymbal felters, drum heads, amp cords. also books. also just random things off amazon

crowds or small groups? depends, but mostly small groups. i like crowds in a particular setting

how long before a trip do you pack? like the day before but then again i never go on trips ever

what celebrity would you rate a PERFECT 10? freddie mercury will always be the queen of the world

what quote or inspirational setting do you think is bs? all that stuff about what you give out is what you get back. good people give a lot and end up getting shit on. rachel scott was a great person and everyone knew her as an angel and she got killed in columbine. one of the nicest people i knew in middle school fell off a literal cliff and died at 13 years old

if you had to dye your hair an unnatural color right now, what would you choose? i don’t really do unnatural colors anymore but i like going blonde

you can change one thing about your life right now. what are you changing? how anxious i am and how it affects my social life

how old do you get mistaken for? depends on the person. i was taking my sister into middle school late and someone asked if /I/ was coming in late but people also ask if i’m 21 or over

what do you think about a lot? people. just different people i know and music mostly. sometimes both things together

do you like your zodiac sign? dude aquarians are the wackest and the best don’t try me

what does home mean to you? wherever i am comfortable enough to feel safe and stable and and able to close my eyes. could be a place, could be a person

what do you think you’d be arrested for? probably something i got into with some of my friends that wasn’t even technically my fault. drugs or trespassing or something

favorite kind of clothing, comfy and then dressy/party/going out? comfy would be leggings and t shirts and vans, going out would be leather anything (pleather) i love leather pants so goddamn much and then flowy shirts and boots

describe your aesthetic? honestly i have no idea. i’m just drummer with a mullet and that’s all i really know about myself

what song makes you cry every time? honestly a song my friend david wrote called someday honey because i’ve always loved folk stuff and cat stevens stuff and it’s such a sad little plucky folk tune and the lyrics make me sad and i used to listen to it when i was upset so i prob associate it with sadness anyway

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end tag 25 people!

tagged by @dippyeggs - MY LOVE <3

THE LAST: 1. drink: Diet Pepsi. I think my blood is made out of diet soda now tbh...  2. phone call: Probably to my dad lol. I don’t do phone calls very often. 3. text message: “Okayyyy” to my sister. 4. song you listened to: Afterglow by All Time Low (I love the new album so much. Fight me) 5. time you cried: This morning lmao. My sister yelled at me and I accidentally shut the cat’s feet in the door and then proceeded to have a breakdown (mental illness ftw). Today has been a day, y’all.

HAVE YOU EVER: 6. dated someone twice: Nope! 7. been cheated on: No, I don’t think so? 8. kissed someone and regretted it: Actually no. I haven’t kissed enough people to regret it lol. 9. lost someone special: Yup 10. been depressed: YUP! 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope! Alcohol isn’t my thing. I come from a long line of alcoholics so I stay away from it haha.

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

Yellow

Blue

Light green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: Yeah, definitely! 16. fallen out of love: Nah 17. laughed until you cried: OF course! 18. found out someone was talking about you: L o l I try not to think about it because I’m very obsessive so if I know someone is talking about me, it’s all I think about. 19. met someone who changed you: Not really? 20. found out who your real friends are: I guess? 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: HA no. GENERAL: 22. how many of your fb friends do you know in real life: I’d say like 98% of them 23. do you have any pets: 1 indoor cat, 5 outdoor ones that kinda just wander. 24. do you want to change your name: FUCK YES. I HATE MY BIRTH NAME. I’M GONNA LEGALLY CHANGE IT SOON HOPEFULLY. Technically, I already did change it to “Quinne” but ya know. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: Took my sisters to see Beauty & the Beast with my friends. 26. what time did you wake up: Around 10:30-11ish 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Probably moping on Tumblr 28. name something you cannot wait for: SEEING ALL TIME LOW IN JULY. 29. when was the last time you saw your mother: Literally five minutes ago. 30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Actually having the ability/resources to medically transition lol. 31. what are you listening to right now: My sister running around the house like a goddamn elephant. 32.have you ever talked to a person called Tom: Yeah, that’s my grandpa’s name, actually haha. 33. something that’s getting on your nerves: Lol same as Maery- the CisHets and Republicans. 34. most visited website: Tumblr, let’s not kid ourselves, friends 35. Elementary: RTR Elementary 36. high school: RTR High School (Just graduated in May!) 37. college/university: Morningside College 38. hair colour: Currently black 39. long or short hair: Short because long hair makes me hella dysphoric. After I’ve been on hormones for a while I’ll probably grow it out though. 40. do you have a crush on someone: Sort of, I guess? I try to not let myself develop crushes on people because I just get hurt lol 41. what do you like about yourself: I’m pretty fucking strong (mentally, not physically lol), I have a decent singing voice, and I’m a fairly good writer (at least I think so haha) 42. piercings: Used to have my nose and ears pierced but they all got infected so I took them out. My body hates piercings... I want to get my septum pierced really badly but I don’t know how long it would last. 43. blood type: I have no idea. 44. nickname: Q, Quinnie 45. relationship: Currently single  46. zodiac sign: Aries 47. pronouns: He/Him  48. favourite tv show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Avatar/The Legend of Korra

49. tattoos: None yet! But I want to get so fucking many! 50. right or left hand: Right

FIRST: 51. surgery: None 52. piercing: Ears 53. (There’s nothing here so I’m adding one) kiss: My first girlfriend who was also my best friend at the time. 54. sport: I don’t sport... 55. Vacation: Camping, probably? 56. (There’s nothing here so I’m adding one) concert: ALL TIME LOW. 57. eating: I just had a crap ton of marshmallows + s’mores. Now I’m eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s under the guise of self-care lol. 58. drinking: Nothing 59.i’m about to: Sit around my house and do nothing for the rest of the night haha 60. listening to: The refrigerator running. The house is eerily quiet rn because every is outside being sociable (I.E. getting drunk) 61. waiting for: To quit my job so I can dye my hair bright green + to move out so I can actually start my life. 62. want: A cute sugardaddy who will buy me an entirely new wardrobe and finanicially support me so I can afford to transition AND go to college (kidding- sort of). 63. get married: Idk. Depends if I ever find someone who can tolerate me and my shit lol. 64. career: Ideally, working in music production or composition/songwriting. WHICH IS BETTER: 65. hugs or kisses: Honestly both. I can’t choose. 66. lips or eyes: Eyes 67. shorter or taller: Taller 68. older or younger: Older 70. nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach definitely 71. sensitive or loud: Loud 72. hook up or relationship: Relationship. I don’t do hookups haha. 73. troublemaker or hesitant: A healthy mixture of both? HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: Hell no I’m too anxious/awkward for that 75. drank hard liquor: Nope. 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: Nope, I don’t wear glasses. 77. turned someone down: Y E S. I have a few interesting stories that are too long to type out lol. 78. sex on first date: Nope. 79. broken someone’s heart: Nah. 80. had your heart broken: HA YES.   81. been arrested: Nope. I don’t do anything interesting enough to get arrested. 82. cried when someone died: Yes??? Of course??? What is this question??  83. fallen for a friend: Yup! DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: Most of the time haha. Depends on my current mental state. 85. miracles: Yes and no? 86. love at first sight: Nah. 87.santa claus: FOREVER AND ALWAYS. 88. kiss on the first date: If I really like the person and I’m comfortable with them- hell yeah! 89. angels: Idk honestly? OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: I don’t have one. Is that sad??? I haven’t had one for a while because I’m a detached fuck. 91. eye colour: Blue 92.favourite movie: Big Hero 6, Inside Out, Moana... I just love animated movies, okay?

I tag: @laurajanegracecansitonmyface @starrydun @shape-shift-with-matt @de-insanity & anyone who feels like it!