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bluecoloreddreams · 4 years

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(Disclaimer: this contains spoilers for the Fruits Basket and Fruits Basket: Another manga, as well as taking into consideration tidbits from Takaya’s twitter.)

So, okay, first of all we have to address the YMMV aspect: Some people don’t like this ship. As long as they’re respectful, I have no beef with that. I’m well aware that some people cannot/choose not to make the distinction between “real life” and “fiction”— I have the luxury of this choice, so some of the “problematic” ships/character aspects within Furuba don’t bother me (for the most part). It’s fiction, and I’m aware of this.

Again, some people cannot/do not make this distinction, and that’s none of my business because that’s their personal life. I’m aware that people dislike aspects of Akigure, and that’s fine.

Personally? I’ve been reading Furuba since like, basically the dawn of time. I was reading scans on, like, MSN groups. I remember a friend at church (of all places) telling me about the Akito reveal because I was behind on updates. It’s literally engrained upon my shipping heart at this point.

(Headcanons ahoy! Like literally, this is all headcanon/my perspective on the series as a whole. YMMV/YKINMK/Dead Dove, the whole works, if you know you know

YES I wrote it like it’s an actual research paper because I have No Chill At All, please forgive me. It’s long and pretty rambling.)

Addressing the first elephant in the room: Given my limited interactions with the fandom, my impression of Akigure from a generalized fan POV is that it’s pretty divisive. Every episode she comes up there are “I hate this kid” comments and I cry

Akito is a favorite of mine, and it’s impossible for anime-only’s to make a deep, informed call on her character. On the other hand, a lot of manga-readers dislike her too.

So, why am I talking about whether or not people like Akito as a character?

I’m of the opinion that it impacts people’s ability to view her character arc as one that deserves a happy ending. That she doesn’t deserve to have love, happiness, or forgiveness, all of which are given to her when she and Shigure finally end up together on equal footing. (Do I think the way it’s rushed in the original Furuba ending? Yeah, but hey. Sensei had like a huge ensemble cast to wrap ends on. Now there’s Furubana to look to and it’s just chef’s kiss.)

There’s a mental aspect in this, involving the dichotomy between “reality” and “fiction”.

There is absolutely zero argument that are a lot of things that Akito does that uh, listen, if it was IRL she’d be in jail! Jail for terror baby! Jail for life!

Fortunately, Fruits Basket is a work of fiction. These characters aren’t real, they’re idealized brushstrokes of human nature created to move a plot and a message along.

That’s why Akito and Shigure work as a couple and as characters:

They’re both incredibly deep characters that get passed off as one-dimensional by a lot of people (and the original anime, woof). Some of it is again, because anime-only fans just don’t have the whole story, since Akito’s arc is one that builds gradually until it hits a point where all hell breaks loose, which we are a ways away from.

So what’s the message that their relationship and characters are supposed to pass on?

Well, it breaks down into two categories: world building and thematic arcs. The latter is more important and what I’ll be focusing on, while the former is just a little spice that I, personally enjoy, and won’t really talk about in depth. (It’s that the magical realism in Furuba sets up the idea of soulmates, it’s just…. Something I enjoy and it’s really heacanony, so I can’t really justify spending more words on it!)

When discussing Fruits Baskets in any capacity, I feel like we must first keep in mind the thematic “lessons” of the series:

There is an inherent loneliness in living as a human being, since loss, grief, and hurt are indelible parts of the human experience, and learning to cope with these feelings in a compassionate manner is a life-long lesson

People react differently to the loneliness of existence, and their reactions are based upon their personalities, their upbringings, and their own choices

Everyone is capable of change and learning, if they choose to do so, however:

Personal agency is taught, but in the vacuum of positive reinforcement, the ability of a person to choose to be compassionate is stifled or outright inaccessible

Therefore, if you are not taught to deal with your grief and existence outside of others, your ability to connect may become warped, manipulative, or abusive, and this is not the fault of the child but instead the parental figure

Eventually, you will be aware of your actions, and then it is your burden to choose—some people do not take this choice (the head maid, Ren, Kyo’s bio dad, Rin’s parents, Sawa’s mother in Furubana)

Abuse has long lasting effects on the psyche and can be physical, emotional, and/or mental in nature and must be dealt with in order to grow as a person

“Dealt with” does not mean that it goes away, but that it is acknowledged and given a positive outlet (Yuki’s garden, Aaya’s shop, Rin’s art, Momiji’s violin playing)

Forgiveness is not linear

Forgiving yourself is a long and arduous process, and happens independent of other people’s forgiveness

This is really brought to the forefront in Fruits Basket: Another, when Shiki talks about how his mother interacts with the rest of the Sohma family. It’s shown she’s done what she can to make amends, but recognizes that while she can individually hold relationships with certain family members, as a whole, it's best if she allows them to be away from her.

This is a whole tangent on its own, but there’s a certain blanket of casual forgiveness given to Akito by the entirety of the shown Zodiac in Furubana, in that they trust that she’s raised a kind and thoughtful son and allow him the grace of his own family.

Again, in Takaya’s tweets post-series that acknowledges that Akito’s friends with Uo-chan, despite her relationship with Kureno (and it shows a depth of awareness on Kureno’s part that he stays away

People flourish in environments where love and positive reinforcement is given freely, even when people are in the wrong

This doesn’t mean that no one is ever scolded: see Komaki and Kakeru, Kisa and Hiro, Hatori chews out Shigure all the time, but never ceases being his confidant

So okay, that’s A Lot. But every single character in Furuba follows these themes in their own manner, because the series is about healing and learning how to heal from abuse, neglect, and isolation. Someone’s gonna have to be doing it. Point blank, the end, to tell a story there must be conflict, and boy howdy, there’s a lot of conflict in Furuba. Every personal thematic arc in the series ends up tying into a romantic one, because Furuba is a romcom drama.

There’s a loop that goes “personal betterment”->”crush”/”friendship”->”conflict”->”personal growth”/”relationship growth” in the series for every character. That’s the bread and butter of Furuba.

But anyway. To the question:

I love them because they work, they’re both their own people with their own narrative focuses, motivations, conflicts, and flaws. Both Shigure and Akito are believable in their own right in the context of Furuba, and I think Takaya did wonderfully in crafting a story where their personalities mesh well and give each other reasons to better themselves.

To talk about them together, you have to talk about them separately.

I’m gonna start with Shigure because, truthfully?

I just want to lament about how often he’s simply passed off as either comic relief or absolute trash. He’s so underestimated!

“He’s a joke of a grown man… He is reliable and I trust him.” (Another, v. 3)

He’s incredibly intelligent when it comes to interpersonal relationships, which is why he’s able to do what he does. He’s also incredibly kind—no one made him take in Yuki or Kyo or Tohru. He could have just went “ah, I’d prefer not to” and moved on. But he didn’t, made up some bullshit so Haru would feel like taking in Yuki was a transaction, and let me just tell you, I am the same age as Shigure and if you gave ME three teenagers to be the guardian of?! It would be a full on disaster.

He’s actually incredibly trustworthy (if he wants to be), insightful, and a genuinely good guardian despite his jokes and wisecracking.

He forced Kyo to go back to school, knowing full well it would be good for him. He lets a whole host of children run rampant through his home. Kids who actually enjoy his presence. He’s shown as having a good familial relationship with Rin (who tries to warp that for her own means), Kisa, Haru, and Momiji. His advice to Tohru is genuine, insightful, and ridiculously helpful.

Shigure is good with people. He gets up at the crack of dawn to drive Shiki to see Sawa in Furubana. He’s who Mutsuki and Hajime immediately go “holy shit you need to do something about this” to when they find out Shiki’s getting nasty notes about Akito. He’s who Shiki goes to when Sawa fell down the stairs as a child. As much as Shiki and the others make fun of Shigure, he’s obviously someone who’s trustworthy. And that’s not some new development, he’s always been trustworthy in regards to those he loves. No one asked him to show up to Tohru’s teacher conference, he volunteered. Like this dude loves people, he’s the dog spirit after all, and rightly so.

Does he have his own motivations? Of course! But so does everyone else in Furuba. He’s a complex character, man!

He laughs and jokes a lot because he’s projecting this image of a laid back, doofus. When you think about who he’s friends with, the whole middling goofball act makes a lot of sense. Just like some of Ayame’s over the top behavior is a defense mechanism, I believe that Shigure casts himself as a generally unappealing man to keep himself safe from advances when he was in school, but also to temper the wildly unequal personalities of his other two friends. He’s the sort of person who would just go “eh, whatever makes it easy”, and that’s just how he is.

He doesn’t mean the creepy school girl thing, it’s a bit and I think the only people who don’t realize he’s running a bit are Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru who are absolutely too stupid to realize he’s playing them for reactions. He thinks it’s funny.

Anyway:

When the older Zodiac had the dream of Shigure, Shigure is the only one who made the active choice to seek out that feeling. His soul was touched, and he decided that he wanted that and only that. This doesn’t necessarily mean he went full Jacob from Breaking Dawn, but it does mean he acknowledged there was a bond, and he wanted it.

When you get into the technicalities of the curse, it’s mentioned that their Zodiac spirits influence how they interact with Akito, and that going against her can cause physical and emotional pain. Yuki cries when meeting her, and it’s mentioned that that’s just the normal reaction for the Zodiacs.

It’s hard to say how much of their early interactions are influenced by the curse, but it’s obvious that Shigure has genuine fondness for her. She wasn’t always absolutely broken, as shown in Yuki’s backstory, and was a precocious child, one who sought affection openly.

Shigure has an indulgent personality, and is shown to love being adored. Guess who loves him! Akito! Guess who wants lots and lots of affection! Akito!

Their personalities are very well matched as they get older: They’re both intelligent and coy. They both have fairly sharp tongues when needed, and have no qualms about doing whatever it takes to get what they want.

Shigure wants Akito to be independent from the curse. He’s made it clear to her he doesn’t want to be her father, he doesn’t want to be her friend, he wants to be her lover. Those are boundaries that Akito’s never been given before, and his frankness with her and his jealousy with Kureno is something she agonizes over, simply because she’s never been given any sort of serious interpersonal boundaries, or repercussions for her actions. He’s always kept himself separate from her, because of those boundaries, even when they were children.

That’s important. It opens the door to the idea that her actions have consequences, and is a persistent nagging in the back of her mind.

“Even though you hadn’t realized it, I was waiting for that day.” (ch 101)

For the bulk of the series, the only person who sees Akito as a person separate from the curse, and sees a future where she can grow is Akito. He has an extraordinary amount of patience for her, and forgives her for a lot.

There are only two incidents that Shigure cannot forgive: Her sleeping with Kureno, and at the very end of the series, I’m of the full opinion that if Akito had pushed Tohru off the cliff, Shigure would have been done with her. Look at that expression, that is the look of someone who is toeing the line of throwing away all his hopes and dreams. If she really had pushed Tohru, I just...... The series would have taken a much darker tone.

OKAY that’s enough about our favorite terrible author! (Okay, an aside, Shigure, please share your work ethic, you goof off so much but you’ve published so many things…how…)

ONTO AKITO!

“I’ve finally realized… she hated her own shallowness all this time, from the very start.” // “It’s frightening because you have no choices.” (ch 121)

A lot of people dislike Akito because she, for the bulk of the manga, is violent, manipulative and just downright unpleasant. And that’s fine, but it’s not the point of her arc or the themes of the manga. (It is, however, the point of Rin’s: you don’t have to forgive everyone.)

She’s not the only violent person in the series. If we as readers can forgive Uo-chan and Kyoko, or even Hana-chan for her moment of violence, why can we not extend the same grace to Akito?

Violence is often shown as a knee-jerk reaction to fear and sadness: Kyoko, Uo, Hana, Kyo, Rin, and Akito all react violently to negative situations and feelings. Even Kisa reacts violently when she’s at her worst, biting both Haru and Tohru when she’s in her tiger form, which is shown to actually cause pain like a real tiger would. (It’s played for laughs, but has anyone been bitten for realsies by a house cat? That hurts! How much more would a house-cat sized tiger hurt!!!)

Out of all of them, Hanajima and Kisa are the only characters to show immediate remorse, because they have what the others don’t: A positive support system. Once positive role models and support systems are in place, all of the others begin to learn how to react differently and ease out of the knee-jerk reactions that were ingrained in them.

It’s made explicit in the manga that you have to be taught how to react positively, you have to learn and choose to be good, to be friendly, to love yourself outside of others’ perceptions of yourself. Look at Yuki’s arc. Look at Uo-chan’s. Kyoko’s.

Yuki sums it up nicely in the last chapter of the manga, where he tells Tohru that she taught the Zodiac how to become human. She allows them to grow into people who can make the choice to be loving, compassionate individuals.

Just because Akito doesn’t interact positively with Tohru for the bulk of the manga, it doesn’t make it any less true:

Akito is kept in a juvenile state of being: No one teaches her to suck it up, that the world exists outside of herself, that other people are people and not things. In fact, she’s actively encouraged to act the way she does. She’s incredibly broken, between the maids of the Sohma estate just… allowing her to do whatever the fuck she wants and her absolutely jacked up relationship with Ren and Akira. She has no moral compass at all. No one bothers to teach her that her actions have serious consequences.

She knows, in a roundabout way that hey, these people don’t like me. There’s a serious mental dissonance between what she latently knows—these are all people with no connection to her other than the bond of the curse. This is why Tohru is able to break through to her at the climax of the manga:

She knows she’s wrong, but no one has ever told her she’s wrong but understood why she’s doing it. Akito just didn’t have the words to explain herself. What do children do when they cannot communicate? They lash out. Kids will bite, scratch, yell, kick, fall to the floor and have screaming tantrums out of frustration. Eventually, most kids learn that there are other ways to express frustration, and move along. (Not all, though, but most.)

Akito was taught that this is acceptable, allowable, and is her right as god. She is actively broken and kept that way through the neglect of the Sohma family maids, Ren’s abuse, and how Akira framed her role in the Zodiac.

I can go on and on and on and on why the way Akito was treated for her role in the Zodiac by her parents and the rest of the Sohma estate was just awful. I hate it, it’s terrible, she never had a chance to learn and grow and be the genuinely thoughtful woman we know she grows into.

She doesn’t force her path of forgiveness onto others and is fully cognizant of what she did, the repercussions of her actions, and lives her entire life after the curse breaks trying to right what she did wrong.

“Even if she gets hurt, she says she deserves it. She tells me not to let it bother me, but… I’ve always, always loved her so much.” (Another, ch. 13)

Tohru opens the door for Akito. She extends her hand, offers her friendship despite having seen the absolute worst of Akito. She tells Akito that everyone is lonely, everyone wants bonds, and acknowledges Akito’s worst fears, that Akito herself is selfish and dirty for wanting something assured and unending because she, Tohru, herself is dirty and selfish. Tohru knows what Akito has done, knows she’s injured some of her beloved friends, had plans to lock up Kyo, hurt Hatori.

Tohru still forgives her. One of Tohru’s striking traits in the manga is that she is suffering, every day, she struggles with the grief of losing her mother and the fear of being alone in the world. Through nothing but her own empathy and realization that loneliness is universal, she’s able to forgive people. She forgives Akito and cares for her, and through Tohru, Akito is introduced to the realization that she’s been wrong and that maybe, she shouldn’t be forgiven.

Shigure also forgives her, and this is the crux of their ship.

To me, that itself is wildly important.

They’ve always circled around each other, and Shigure has always been waiting for Akito to be able to come to him again, in full control of her life and choices. He wants Akito the woman, not Akito the god.

He’s been waiting for the day Akito can meet him as an equal. Akito wants it too, and has wanted him to turn and see her for a very very long time. But she’s been terrified, the entire time, that when he does see her as herself, Shigure won’t like what he sees, and will leave. She’s aware of what she’s done post-curse, she’s aware of the impacts it will have on the former Zodiac members, and she’s aware that once the “bonds” of god and the animals is gone, there may not be anyone left for her.

Neither of them are under any illusions at the end of the series: Akito knows she has to atone for what she did, Shigure knows she has to learn to grow into a person who can function alone. They both know that there are people who are against them changing the oppressive structure of the Sohma family.

Neither of them care. There are things that they want, together, and it’s enough. There’s a whole new world for them to explore and learn about. And in Furubana, this is shown to be a lifelong effort on their parts:

“She said after meeting me, she learned so many things for the first time. She smiled happily as she said it.” (Another, #13)

To close, I’d like to take a moment to talk about the curse and Shigure, and how he set things in motion.

Without Shigure, the curse would have devolved on its own, yes, but the circumstances would not have allowed for the freedom the Zodiac had at the end of the manga. It would not have ended with Akito being able to learn and live freely. Allowing Tohru into the Sohma family cracked open a door to compassion and kindness none of them had ever experienced before, because the Sohma family seems to exist in a vacuum of stability and love.

It wasn’t that Shigure knew instantly that Tohru was kind and loving and thoughtful, if anything, his read on her was “completely normal, albeit strange, teenage girl who obviously has a rough life”. But she was normal, she was from outside the Sohmas, and he knew that was enough. No one in the family was stepping up to change the status quo and how stifling and abusive it was, so he did it himself.

He did it because he loved Akito.

Not because he felt bad for himself, or Hatori, or any of the others, but merely because he loved her to the point of manipulation. It backfired in his face, because he got a big ol’ dose of “loving and respecting” juice from Tohru, but he still got the end he wanted.

What I mean to say is best summarized in chapter 123:

“It would be nice to live in a kind world, without any troubles, without any fear, without hurting anybody, without ever being hurt, only doing the right thing. I wish I could reach this kind world by the shortest path possible. … “That’s wrong”, or “that’s stupid”: If it’s someone else’s life it’s so easy to make such irresponsible comments. ...It would be great, but it doesn’t exist. … Little by little, walking one step at a time, is all you can do.”

We get to experience the roughest part of the path with Akito and Shigure, we got to watch them be terrible people who were lonely and in want of love struggle and learn how to get up and move on.

They tease each other, Shigure is thoughtful of the distinction between “the person Akito was raised to be” and “the person who Akito is”. He’s seen her at her messiest, and she’s seen him at his most jealous. They still chose each other, despite the hurt they caused each other, and others. They make up for it, reflect, and live a life that demonstrates that they have learned. They have friends who are thoughtful and loving and would not hesitate to drop everything and help them, lend an ear when they’re frustrated, help them not to make the same mistakes.

And then we get to see them be wonderful, kind, thoughtful, loving parents in Furubana.

We got to see their adorable, kind, compassionate child be friends with the children of the people Akito hurt, because everyone in the former Zodiac’s family collectively decided “never again, no”.

Their child adores them. Shiki in Furubana #13 radiates love for Akito and Shigure the same way Mutsuki and Hajime do.

They are genuinely good parents, even when they tease Shiki, and I think that is testament for how good they are for each other and how much they’ve changed as adults.

I think that’s enough of a reason to ship them, don’t you?

#Mitkun writes stuff #fruits basket manga spoilers #fruits basket another #fruits basket spoilers #akigure #fruits basket akito #fruits basket shigure

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leroiloup · 3 years

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「 this is a total, 100% “woe-is-me” negativity post, so be warned. I try not to post anything too personal or emotional on this blog, but the truth is, I need an outlet right now. I don’t have a personal tumblr anymore, and tbh, I don’t really want to put this on FB where all my IRL friends would see it. I’m putting this under a read more so y’all can scroll on by and not worry about it. But also, it’s here, so it ain’t a secret. If you want to watch a train wreck, read on.

» » » The moral of this story is going to be that for the next couple of days, I’m gonna be less present on the dash, and just tending to my drafts ( along with developing my OC more because he brings me joy rn ).

Wow, you clicked the Read More. Aren’t you a sick fuck ? Just kidding, you’re my kind of people. I hope your popcorn is ready. If are you continuing, I’d like to give you some disclaimers : literally none of the following is directed at any one individual or group of individuals. There is not an ounce of guilt that’s meant to be transferred. This is 100% my own bullshit as I’m dealing with me. I’m going to complain about RP, but please keep that in mind ; this is all about my own insecurities.

To start, everyone is dealing with a lot right now, let’s not have any delusions about that. Shit in general fucking blows. Personally speaking, I don’t like talking about my emotions or the things truly bothering me. I guarantee that if I ever whine about something, then there’s something much deeper that’s effecting me. As of right now, I’ve identified both : the surface issue that I’m taking my frustrations out on, and the deeper problems that’s the root of what’s going on.

So let’s start with the the deep shit, shall we ? This’ll give better insight as to why I’m struggling mentally with RP at the moment. I’m the kind of person IRL that’s a loner. I’m in my 30′s, but I’ve never had a serious relationship in my life. I don’t have a lot of friends ( but I do have a couple of really good ones ). I tend to just deal with shit on my own. I live alone, I take care of myself. And honestly, all of that is ok because there’s something magical that I have had : my career. I moved to the other side of the country at a young age by myself with one goal, and that was to edit film trailers. And goddamn it, in April 2019, I DID IT ! I mean, I’ve been in that industry since day 1, climbing the ladder, but last April, I was promoted to editor. It was the greatest feeling in the world. I still had a long way to go to prove myself, but I felt like my whole life was worth it for the place that I made it to. Well, this past March ( yes, just 2 weeks shy of my 1st year mark as an editor ) I was laid off due to COVID. Now, I’ve gotten a couple of odd editing jobs here and there, but I’m floundering. I suddenly can’t pay my bills, I can’t even buy proper groceries, but worst of all ? I just sit around all day. Alone. In my apartment. With no sense of direction or purpose. I feel like I lost a whole part of myself ; like I lost who I am as a human being. It’s this terrible, downward spiral of feeling like I don’t even exist anymore. Like who am I without the one thing I identified myself as ? Do I even matter anymore ? My friends are still working, but I’m.... not. I may not have been the pretty one, the witty one, the interesting one, or the loved one, but goddamnit, I was the independent one. I didn’t live a glamorous life, but I have a sweet apartment in a great area all by myself, and traveled, and treated myself to expensive clothing. I lived that Destiny Child’s Independent Woman life. And now ? It’s a big deal trying to decide if I can afford to buy cheese for my turkey sandwiches.

So let’s move this sob story onto the superficial, dumbass things that are bothering me. Like that’s real world shit right ? But I don’t like dwelling on real world problems. I handle it and move on. Yet my heart still hurts so I tend to focus on something less important as my excuse. Enter literally the only other thing I have going on rn RP. Man, I have the best writing partners and the best threads, let me tell you ! When I say I love my dash, I’m not just blowing smoke up y’all’s asses. I mean it. Sometimes I just sit and stare at my drafts in awe. But lately, my brain is frustrated. See, I’m not the Indie RP type. I can’t deal with a thousand different threads and interact with everyone, as much as I’d like to. My brain just doesn’t work that way. I prefer to live in my small corner and have a partner with whom our muses are deeply developed. Like full on universes with stories about different parts of their relationship’s timeline and with NPCs and fucking pinterest boards and shit. Y’all know what I’m talking about. A partner who tags me in shit because they see a post on their dash and it made them think of me. A partner who can just send my muse random asks about shit because they’re bored. A partner I can throw wild fangirly comments at in DMs at all hours of the day because something inspired me, or something made me think of our muses. You see, I had it once. On my Dean Winchester account, I met someone and our muses man... we didn’t plan that shit but they clicked and we were inseparable. It was so amazing. But I can’t write Dean anymore and even though I’m still very good friends with that mun IRL, they don’t write anymore. I feel like I’ve been chasing that high ever since, but it’s just gone.

Like, I just did that positivity night, right ? I really needed the boost and nothing helps like giving out compliments, and it worked. Believe me. I was so tickled by the responses and getting to force myself to think of wonderful things about my partners ( which is easy to do, lbr ). But a couple of people went above and beyond and sent it in as a request for someone else. God, how fucking cool ? But then my stupid brain takes over and reminds me that I don’t have a partner going out of their way like that for me. And god, what a selfish thing to think, right ? This is all good vibes, and I genuinely wanted to make other people smile, but I can’t help but have half my mind say “but what about me ?”. So lame. Especially since I never ask for help so who is even gonna know that need the pick me up ? Ugh. But I’m too chickenshit to ever send someone a meme to make them compliment me. Hell, I’m too chickenshit to like people’s posts when they ask for mains. A voice in my head is like “nah man, keep that shit for other, more qualified candidates. You have good threads, calm down.” But I dunno, sometimes I feel like I have a ton of threads, but that’s all they are ? The fillers ? Sure, it’s great writing, but it doesn’t go anywhere. It’s not meant to build anything for people, it’s just to give them something to do to pass the time while they’re building universes with their mains.

Could I be more selfish ? Like really. But that’s the thing : it’s my desolate feeling of complete lack of purpose in life bleeding into the one thing I’m trying to keep my mind distracted with. Do I hate RP ? No. Do I resent anyone on my dash ? Fuck no ! I love all of you and I’m incredibly grateful for anyone that interacts with me. But sometimes I see some magical friendships here and I just... I want that, man. I miss it. I want purpose again, in any facet of my life. I want to be excited again ; about ANYTHING. I’m tired of bobbing around like a cork on the sea of life.

I wish I meant more. 」

#:: ᴅᴇʀʀɪᴇ̀ʀᴇ ʟᴇ ʀᴏɪ | ᴏᴏᴄ #negativity tw

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sideblogformindtrash · 3 years

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🐶, 🐯, 🐺, 🐱, 🐻, 🐗, 🐹 and 😱 for Haru and his old masters¿

Omg ashudafsfdgfh ok this took a while :3

Cw for mentions of torture and some nsfw; creepy/intimate whumper; some explanation on world-building too that is a bit close to irl modern slavery;

🐶What’s the meaning of their name? How/why did you pick it?

Haru goes for both ‘daylight’ and ‘spring’ depending on the origin, which both I feel like fit his personality. It’s also funny because his design is like: LOOK AT THIS MY WINTER SNOWY CHILD NAMED ‘SPRING’. INST HE SO QUIRKY. And personally it’s one of my favorite names. I just think is really neat and sweet-sounding.

🐯Roles are reversed (they are now the whumper), what do they do?

Haru doesn’t have a drop of cruelty in his whole being so he would be really upset by seeing them like that and do his best to help. He would be a good soft caretaker if he wasn’t so lost at the moment.

Farlan/Young Master would try to keep his defiant and arrogant pose but it wouldn’t last very long. He honestly has no idea what it feels like to be in the receiving end of all this shit and his pride is quite a defense mechanism. By the point he get to be sold he would be very broken, and I imagine he would be the type of whumpee that just goes blank and dissociates. 10/10 he would benefit from a therapist.

Gerald/Grand Master would probably be a lot harder to break, he is older, used to a lot of shit, and he cares a lot about appearances and how the world perceive him and would dread the idea of being made a pet. I think he would sooner get himself killed.

🐺What’s something nice they could say about whumper?

About Farlan - So Haru is pretty much the only person he let around him when cooking and he enjoyed that because he got snacks and even learned to make a few things. He also likes animals a lot and despite not being a very frequent thing, it’s something they could bound over. He could go hours just looking pictures on google or looking at dogs/horses he could buy and Haru would be near just ‘omg cute animals :3’

About Gerald – He praises Haru a lot and just about everything that might do, and Haru craves that a lot so. He also wasn’t so explicitly violent, instead he was more of the intimate/gaslighter type Whumper, and in contrast with a really violent one it made him seem nice. Funny thing is the more Gerald and Haru bonded the more violent Farlan became. He was quite jealous of Haru because, Haru was supposed to be. His. But instead his father kept just taking him away and even letting him go with his friends and Farlan hated that. He is also really annoyed by the fact his father cares more about pretty much any cute man that appears than he does to him, and Haru wasn’t really an exception.

🐱What would they do if whumper died?

So, if just Farlan died he would be somewhat relieved, but also really, really lonely. Gerald is busy most of the time and no one really talks to him. He would just grow more and more isolated.

If just Gerald died he would be terrified. He legit thinks Farlan might just kill him someday. But he would actually get less violent over time, since a lot of the time he is just attacking Haru to either get back at his father or because he is angry at him but can’t do anything about it.

If both of them died he would be scared as well. If they have another heir, he would probably get passed along with the mansion, or otherwise sold with it. But he doesn’t think anyone else would really want to keep him now that he is so broken. Now in this universe they don’t really get killed if no one wants them. They get relocated to do certain jobs in like this massive industrial center or agricultural center, sometime high-risk or just industrial. At this point they are basically just severely underpaid employees, and sometimes, it is actually better than being a proper home slave, because they aren’t getting whipped or beaten at all, unless they try to run away. They get controlled by giving them a small allowance they can use to trade for food or goods they might need, and the value depends on their daily productivity. They pretty much only die if they get too sick to keep working and can’t pay for things anymore. The other slaves that aren’t there yet don’t really know how it works, they think is a lot worse.

🐻In an alternate universe where whatever caused the whump didn’t happen, would they and whumper get along?

Haru would still be really friend and just, he is really easy to get along with. But Farlan thinks he is kind of annoying and that probably wouldn’t change much. I can see them being part of the same friends group and getting along enough to hang out sometimes, specially since they do have some interests in common, but not a deep friendship.

The father would still be interested on him on a NSFW manner and if he was on a place where he could recognize that, he would find that very creepy, so Haru would try to avoid him probably.

🐗If they could say anything to whumper without getting punished, what would it be?

‘I tried. I really really tried. I wanted to be good, I wanted you to love me and I don’t know why you couldn’t at least recognize that. I’m sorry I was never good enough, but I wish you would at least see how hard I tried.’

🐹If they got to choose how they would be whumped/punished, what would they pick

Haru thinks the worse is things that leave scars, because they are there forever and they ‘make him ugly and worthless’. So he would choose stress positions first, he can handle those even if it hurts him. Starvation after that, and after that sensory deprivation, but this one would take a lot from his emotional. He can’t really handle waterboarding, he is very traumatized by that one.

😱How would they react to whumpee having a nightmare?

…So, this is one aspect where Farlan isn’t so bad. He never really punished Haru for waking him up during a nightmare. Most of the time he just doesn’t have the willpower to get out of bed in the middle of the night, so he will just turn around and go back to sleep. If Haru was being too loud he might throw a pillow at him so he wakes up. Occasionally, he would get up and go do something else, leaving Haru sleeping or taking him together, depending on his mood. He quite likes being awake at night, since no one else would be around.

Gerald just uses this as an opportunity to be extra creepy™, probably making a lot of questions about the dreams and what happened and being very touchy.

#ask

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spiritmaiden23 · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. For sure, for being the cutest of cutes!! All Zeldas are cute though but she was the blueprint ;v;

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. I’m a devout christian virgin I would never ever look at those kind of topics the only hot I see is the flames of hell for even considering this smh smh bUT NO FOR REAL THO I’M NOT REALLY SURE???? I mostly see people gushing over how cute she is rather than hot.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / In some aspects. We don’t really see Skyward Sword Zelda’s abilities in the games as we did in, say, BOTW where she goes full goddess mode. Aside from blessing the master sword, sealing herself away, and the implications that the game gives us with Zelda being not only a student at the knight school but also a badass warrior goddess in her past life; I’d say she’s pretty up there in terms of strength.

Are they underrated? YES / NO. GONNA GO WITH YES AND NO ON THIS. As a character, Zelda is far from underrated she’s actually cliche blonde character we all love and stan but in this incarnation.... also yes and no because while I see a lot of people like SS Zelda keep in mind that SS is the black sheep of the series so not a lot of people have good opinions on it. I’ve seen some say she’s annoying, too shoujo or even Mary Sue at some points and hweoh we all know that the last one ain’t even close to true since she’s far from bland and OP written. But it’s all a matter of perspective!

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO /

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL / FOR THE MOST PART, if we were talking verses like say witch verse she’d have more of a neutral reputation considering witches aren’t really well-liked ;-;

How strictly do you follow canon?

I try to do the best that I can do given with what we’re working with here all while adding my own spin to her characterization because we all have different perspective when it comes to art! How I see Zelda is someone who’s bubbly, playful (big ol bully hweoh), a bit of a busybody if she feels she needs to step in due to worrywart tendencies yet highly responsible and carries a wisdom that’s beyond her age, she doesn’t like seeing people bullying others and isn’t afraid to put her foot down to speak her mind if something is up. While kindness is sorta her strong suit I wanted to go beyond “nice girl” and just showcase other sides of her too, hence why main verse is typically set during the events of SS because here we see her growth into the girl we see at the end of the game where she’s melancholic of her past but is looking forward to seeing what the future holds and wants to build a brighter tomorrow with Link by her side along with friends and loved ones. I’m not at all confident in playing as her, despite playing as Zelda since 2017 haha!! So I can’t really say that I’m super strict in following canon considering that’s how I view the character through the actions and dialogue throughout the game, perhaps the creators had something different in mind than how I see Sky Zelda.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.

DO YOU LIKE WHOLESOME GIRLS?! Wait no, hold on, that’s a little too vague, so let’s try that again. Do you like wholesome genki girls who were once a god who fought in a war in their past life? How about pastel girls who may seem sweet but are deep down bullies towards loved ones? Are you at a point in your life where you find yourself wondering: where on earth can I find someone who’s ray of sunshine can brighten up my day. Will do I have good news for you buddy! Introducing your very own friend: Zelda from hit series Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. This Zelda is more extreme than the others due to the fact that she’s not a princess, that’s right no princess titles clogging up that beautiful name. Just a knight who somehow finds out she’s actually a goddess reborn as human, no biggie!

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)

SHOUJO PROTAG WHO’S TOO FREAKING CUTE!! So.... if that’s not your cup of tea ;v; but nah I can see people not liking Zelda because not everyone like the nice girl who’s your childhood friend characrter, I totally get it but if you dig a little deeper you see that there’s more to it than that.

What inspired you to rp your muse?

My close friend was FINALLY getting into the LOZ series back when BOTW was first coming out, her playthrough of SS made me remember how much I loved each characters and honestly Zelda’s design in that game was always my fav right next to Tetra and ALTTP/ALBW! At the time I mostly played more introverted muses or straight up villains and I wanted to try my hand at playing more wholesome characters like Sky Zel and ALTTP Zel ;v; now look at me, the CEO of wholesome cute girls ;v;

What keeps your inspiration going?

Motivation and time at this point, I’m not the young starry-eyed rper who used to have playlists and replay things to keep up with canon. I just pray to god I’m doing ok, let jesus take the wheel and just sorta do my own thing. I think having fun threads or a friendship with partners or just good vibes from them def helps a whole lot.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO. SORTA KINDA NOT AS MUCH AS I DO WITH ALTTP ZEL BECAUSE I’M ALWAYS NERVOUS THAT I MIGHT LIKE BREAK THE CANON OR ZEL’S CHARACTER!!

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO / Most of the time!

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. I mean, that’s a trick question because I can be sensitive in picking up tones and reading between the lines but like if you mean if someone says something mean than no not anymore at least, I’m too old to care about what people say about me or think about me.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

YE! I do! I mean we’re all improving and junk so I see no issues with criticisms uvub I always worry about whether or not you can hear different voices within the characters I rp as among writing issues I have that comes with learning disability and ADD, I try my hardest but I know at the end of the day there will always be grammar mistakes and even spelling!

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

YES YES YES!! OMG YES!! I TAKE WHATEVER QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE AND JUST... WORD VOMIT BACK SEVEN PAGE ESSAY SOMETIMES ;V;

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

Eh, well yeah it’d be nice honestly to hear feedbacks and thoughts. Just saying ‘I don’t like this or I don’t agree with this’ doesn’t really help anyone who wants to improve but I’m not gonna like press them for it either because again I’m at the stage in my life where I’m just like ‘it is what it is’.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

Shrug emoji, and then move on! Again it’d be nice if they can tell me though but I won’t press them for it if they don’t feel like it. We’re allowed to have our opinions after all yo!

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

It is illegal to hate sky zel or any Zel really... NAH JK I DON’T REALLY CARE I’ve liked characters who aren’t popular among the fandom, I’m more or less used to seeing character bashing for faves so like it doesn’t really affect me at all I’m just like “lol” and move on.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

YES! Though keep in mind, despite me using Grey instead of Gray, I use US English ;v; so keep that in mind when spotting out certain words other parts of the world may spell differently because us US Americans just..... gotta be extra like that.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

I TRY!!! IDK IF I COME ACROSS AS THAT but I’m very much someone who goes with the flow anyway, I’ve been told that much IRL and I’m just hweoh not really someone who’s a stick in the mud or has a stick up their ass, you know? I’m pretty laid back and not much bothers me, I can get petty if I have to come across rude people that’s the one thing that kills it for me but aside from that, I just wanna try to get along with people. We don’t have to be friends if you’re not feeling the vibes but friendly terms is good enough for me!

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

#long post /#ooc postings.#the ceo of cute wholesome girls that's all i wanna be known for #but phew the sleeping pills are kicking in i can't write too well now #so good niiiiight enjoy this early munday meme!

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stagcharmed-a · 4 years

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james + bisexuality, some thoughts: so since the start of this blog I’ve written james as bi, but I’ve recently been Thinking more about how complexities around his sexuality would manifest in threads / writing / ships especially as I’ve been fleshing my verses out more so , below the cut is some musings / meta about james being bi + relationships with men and expressing his feelings, here we go !

what I mostly want to talk about is that james is the kind of person who would struggle to recognise their sexuality, not our of shame or like suppression but purely because he doesn’t always understand what he is feeling / consider the possibility of being non-straight .

it would depend on the thread / muses ect but in general, james isn’t great at recognising his attraction to men as romantic / non-platonic because he can’t always recognise what he’s feeling / understand the cause of it .

across my blog in my characterisation one (mostly) consistent factor is just difficulty untangling his emotions and recognising exactly what he is feeling and why in each moment . james is a very feeling person who experiences emotions intensely but he is also someone who often doesn’t think about the root causes of those emotions . not that he can’t or won’t, he isn’t lacking in self-awareness, it’s just that often his emotions are situational and therefore later he has trouble identifying exactly why he felt and acted like he did . he also doesn’t overthink the reasons behind his feelings, how he feels often just ... is .

even in my main verse, writing james relationship with lily, he struggles to untangle his feelings about lily, specifically in splitting if how he his feeling for her are growing in a way that is platonic or not . and that is with someone he knows he’s already had feelings for . with men, it’s much more complicated to recognise what exactly his feelings for them are, because there’s less of a traditional blueprint. dismissing feelings as ‘we’re just friends’, or not recognising the root of emotions like jealousy or desire for what they actually are .

to complicate things, james platonic relationships with other men / the boys in the main verses are all very openly loving and close . this is partially because james is also a very physically affectionate person and so anyone whose friends with him ( especially good, good friends ) have to be as well at least to some degree because that is the major way he both gives & receives affection / love . in general, james is a very open and loving person who doesn’t shy from telling others how he feels about them. he wouldn’t hesitate to tell his friends he loves them, to sleep or be close to them, and to openly express how much he likes them . because of it, he doesn’t realise not everyone acts this way & also that many actions he considers platonic can also be considered romantic . he doesn’t always recognise his actions and behaviour as expressing anything other than friendship, I can even see him subconsciously Knowing he feels strongly for someone but still not tackling that emotion fully .

there is also the fact james is not a very casual person and he feels deeply for most people he likes, so it’s not like there is such a large gap between how he feels for his friends versus partners. which can distort his feelings toward people ( or give him room to do so wilfully or subconsciously ) anyway, I think it would get better with time + more dating experience also it would depend on his age / verse but in general ... james is (probably, like it would all depend blah blah) but probably not going to be the person who makes the first move or initiates anything because he ... would be missing / not seeing every single cue .

so james DO be loving men in an unmistakably bisexual way, it’s just that absolutely everyone except himself recognises this. He really is the epitome of the ‘wdym you don’t kiss your bro’s on the lips to say goodnight, they’re your bro’s’ meme. that said, once it clicks for him it CLICKS, and james loves being in love . that ‘oh’ moment where suddenly everything makes sense and now he understands what he’s been feeling. so yeah, james would happily date / be in love with another man, it would be just the actually recognising this part that would be tricky.

some verse notes ;

main verse: due to the condensed timeline & the fact my mans literally is dating / married for most his life before he dies there isn’t much time for shipping but I do have a headcanon about james + dating before lily though here .

modern verse: probably the easiest verse to ship in because of the looser timeline + generally more happy vibes . m/m ships probably working best in this verse though much of what was said above still applies ! but it’s just a character arc to work through so *shrug*

james lives au: I have sooooo many versions of this AU / it’s really only plot based but the problem with james + shipping in this verse is more to-do with his immense trauma + complicated feelings toward his past than necessarily the shipping itself . James is resistant to romance in this verse because of his guilt over lily’s death + feelings of responsibility toward harry + not wanting to feel misunderstood / a burden. that said, open to shipping it just needs plotting / build-up idk.

final note ; I know a lot of people take a “”colourblind”” (idk a better word? sorry ajdjs) approach to writing sexuality in rp. (aka, the sexuality of the character rarely impacts their thought process) I respect if people wanna do that I’ve just.. never been able to? I know some people are like ‘do we have to think about it I do it enough irl’ which I get but for me it’s literally IMPOSSIBLE to not consider these things when I’m writing (probably bc I do irl constantly lol) so *shrug*. i dont know, it is what it is. that said, a lot of what I’ve outlined applies across all ships, it just manifests more in m/m ships .

tldr ; james is someone who struggles to separate out his emotions, he feels deeply for people and experiences emotions intensely but cannot always determine why he feels such a way or determine the root cause. in relationships with men, it is unlikely he will recognise his feelings as non-platonic, especially when he has such deep and intense platonic friendships that warp exactly what ‘friendship’ is for him. he would probably not therefore initiate relationships first. however, he once he figures out his feelings and why he’s been feeling that way he feels better for the clarity and would definitely love/date other men.

#「 JAMES POTTER 」 » headcanon #「 JAMES POTTER 」 » character study #「 JAMES POTTER 」 » meta #well after like 3 attempts to write this here we go #god this ended up too long #hope it makes sense?? as per usual I'll prob be editing it in 5 minutes #as per usual feel I also made this sound too dramatic but idk #james is just not very good at recognising and interpreting his own emotions or like....#he does have a Gift for bending them to suit his needs #I've rlly wanted to explore more ships lately tbh #but yeah I have talked a little about #james + being bi but here's some extended thoughts #but yeah it all depends on verse and who im writing w still of course but in general.... some thots #((((((ok so I feel weird bc I swear no one ever addresses sexuality in the rpc but... o well lemme have a go))))))

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keen2meecha · 4 years

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@silas-the-reading-addict Okay so college wifi + tumblr is apparently a bad combination, so I’m resorting to answering your ask like this, I hope that’s okay!)

Hiya! I’m so glad you like it!! (I’m also looking forward to where I take it haha)

Okay, I have two answers. One is a copout. One is actually helpful. Hang in there with me. The copout: honestly? Everyone’s felt the way you’re feeling right now. I always feel it, and even whichever user looks most successful to you has definitely felt the same when they started out - and maybe even still feel it! So, remember that we all start in the same place. You’re totally good! And also, don’t forget that it’s not about numbers. I’ve had posts about gifted that have totally flopped, and I’ve had some that gained attention that for me is impressive, but for others would be sad. It’s not an exact science, so don’t let a few bad posts get to you - even one like is a real person out there, noticing your work and liking it!

Real answer time: my personal advice is a two-parter because I can’t keep things short for the life of me. I’m also going to work under the assumption that we’re talking about wip intro posts specifically, but know that this advice works for most other situations (I hope).

Okay, number one: use other people’s posts as examples! While I was drafting my intro, I went deep into #wip introduction and noted what other people did. The common threads, the differences, the things that I liked specifically. I also highly recommend visiting @pens-swords-stuff if you haven’t already, as they have a lot of invaluable advice to dispense. You can find their advice masterlist here and then the posts I found most helpful are here (it’s technically about wip pages, but just as good for posts) and here (because tagging appropriately can go a long way). I also can’t speak for aesthetics because I don’t really have a sense of them. The picture on my wip intro post was heavily helped by two irl friends of mine, so if you have some of those that you trust, it’s good to get a second pair of eyes. If not, honestly? Go with your gut, and do some (more) research to see what the internet/other writeblrs have to say about it. You’ll do great!

Number two: engage, engage, engage! Like people’s stuff, reblog if you can (especially any snippets that they post), talk a lot in the tags if you’re too shy to directly respond. And honestly? Participate in tag games, if you can. If you follow @aziz-writes and ask, I’m sure they’d be more than happy to add you to their game taglist! (And while you’re at it, check out their wip Death of a Monarch Butterfly - it’s super interesting!) It’ll help build your confidence by starting with small last lines, and getting tagged and tagging others in return will draw people in. I don’t mean this in a callous or, like, business-y way, either. The friendships and support you get in this community is invaluable. But also if you’re kind to people and reblog their stuff, nine times out of ten they’ll try and do the same for you.

TLDR: Everyone’s been where you’ve been so don’t worry; it’s not all about numbers; use lots of examples and references to guide you; you get what you put out into the world (or, well, website)

Does that answer your question? Also, does anyone else have advice? I’d love to hear what people with more experience/success have to say!

#me!#i guess? techincally?#also i guess i could tag this as #advice #even that feels kinda forward since i still feel like i'm pretty new to all of this #anyways thanks for reaching out!#i look forward to seeing your posts #and i'll add you to some tag games as i do them to get you started #and if you decide not to do that #then that's totally fine!#also @aziz if you're reading this hope you don't mind me putting you out there #you've helped me a lot i thought i could pass it forward #also check out silas' blog and consider following!#there's good stuff there!#okay i think i'm done #fingers crossed that three versions of this answer don't post all at once l m a o

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fanfictiondatascience · 5 years

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Online connection changes lives. Authors we interviewed found support, feedback, friendship and even lifelong partnership from people they met online through fandom. People online can help authors develop their writing by providing feedback both in public spaces like AO3 and in private chat. But getting connected is not always easy. Several authors encountered difficulties with making new connections, turned away from their communities, or never connected much with others online at all. Feelings of social anxiety stopped people from reaching out, communities that didn’t feel like safe spaces turned people away, and a culture of fear towards internet strangers made others difficult to trust. In this post, we’ll describe the barriers that can make it difficult to connect in the fanfiction community.

Social Anxiety

Talking to people is hard, and talking to people you can’t see on the other side of the computer screen can be even harder. An experience shared by many of our interviewees was a feeling of social anxiety. Social anxiety is a fear of judgment from others that manifests in many ways, for instance, the perception (without any particular evidence) that the person you are considering reaching out to is not interested or welcoming towards being contacted.

“I'm a shy person, so usually I may not [reach out]. I just say I feel embarrassed in speaking to people that seem cooler than me, more experienced… maybe I'm bothering them. Maybe they don't see me as a friend, they have just been polite, this kind of thing” (P11).

Contacting someone with a higher profile, such as a prolific author or fan celebrity, amplified social anxiety. Interviewees held the perception that these folks are likely overwhelmed with contact already and therefore would be unwelcoming.

“I wouldn’t want to reach out to them because they’re on a different level than me in terms of popularity and probably get hundreds of messages all the time” (P18).

Authors who were reluctant to reach out oftentimes waited for others to contact them first. Or, instead of reaching out online, they relied on irl friends outside of the fandom for writing feedback. As a result of social anxiety, people don’t take that first step of reaching out to an online stranger, and therefore they don’t receive the benefits of a potential connection.

Unsafe Spaces

Writing and posting fanfiction in a public space is, in a way, baring your soul to complete strangers, and one sure way to stifle the soul-baring process was the institution of discriminatory rules that disproportionately affected a subset of the fan community. Restrictions on free expression created the feeling of an unsafe space, and it is this feeling that drove authors away from the community. During our interviews, authors discussed situations where they left communities because they felt the space was unsafe. The ban of NSFW content from Tumblr after its acquisition by Verizon, widely viewed as an attack on sexual expression that disproportionately affected queer people, was a recent example.

“When Tumblr banned not safe for work, it was really distressing for a bunch of us who don't really fit on the very heteronormative sexual scale. So there was a lot of trying to figure out where we were going to go now, where we were, how would we stay connected, how would we continue to figure out and find stuff that we enjoyed” (P25).

Long-time fandom authors told us of similar exoduses from LiveJournal and Fanfiction.net after similar content bans and mass content deletions. These actions by platform owners divided fan communities and forced authors to find connections elsewhere.

In addition to institutional actions, individuals who made personal attacks or used hate speech also made authors feel unsafe. These antisocial actions happened in prominent fandom spaces.

“P27: There are people who write things that a fandom may consider controversial. This could cause them to get unhelpful criticism, rude and discouraging comments, so they will be constantly discouraged from writing.

Interviewer: That would happen on AO3?

P27: Both AO3 and tumblr, that’s where I know it happens.

Interviewer: And you’ve seen other people treated like that?

P27: Yes.” (P27).

One author spoke of an experience where she was berated for years by a reader because she wrote about drug addiction.

“Because [my fic is] about drug addiction, that brought a reaction that I really didn’t expect… sometimes [readers] impose their views. I got bullied for a couple of years, and even when I went on hiatus that person came back... they were imposing what they thought on me” (P7).

A single bully discouraged and pushed away this writer, even as they received an outpouring of messages from readers who connected with the story.

Another author discussed how controversy over a gay character sent them elsewhere:

“At the time I was writing about neon genesis evangelion. And it turns out at the end of the show, the main character Shinji Ikari is gay. Well, it's revealed he has a thing for this guy. And I was writing this kind of thing too, and people got super angry. So they’d leave because, oh my God, he's gay and that was terrible at the time. So, uh, yeah, I quickly left” (P8).

Fanfiction authors tackle difficult, important and controversial topics, and they need a space where they can find others to relate to without fear of harassment. If personal attacks, hate speech, or discriminatory rules are present, they may feel they can’t stay connected and will be forced to go elsewhere.

Personal Disclosure

Navigating personal disclosure can be difficult for authors when they’re interacting with internet strangers. Although authors disclosed deeply personal facts about themselves through fanfiction writing itself, some preferred to avoid connecting their fanfiction identity to their offline identity. Others wanted to protect themselves and their families from potential exposure on the internet. Identity and safety concerns associated with online personal disclosure slowed relationship building between authors and online friends.

Is this faceless individual actually a murderer, merely feigning deep interest in Star Trek and waiting for an opportunity to strike at unsuspecting fans?

Being raised to fear internet strangers was a shared experience among several participants in our interviews. Authors chose different degrees of disclosure they were comfortable with, and made nuanced decisions about who to reveal information about themselves to, where and when.

“There’s not any set guidelines. I think it really depends on who you talk to... how long have you been with the person? What type of things do you talk about? Do you feel like it’s safe to give that information?” (P21).

Oftentimes, the decision of whether to reveal a piece of identifying information had to be on-the-spot. P21 had to decide whether this person who wanted to be co-author was someone who could be trusted.

“… You kind of have to sometimes make a snap judgment and ultimately it worked out fine in this one case... it really does have to come down to instinct, gut, sometimes, there’s no kind of set formula to be sure” (P21).

Personal disclosure and relationship-building go hand-in-hand. But In an environment where personal disclosure requires caution and nuance, building connection and relationships becomes much more difficult.

To Be Continued...

There are powerful isolating elements like social anxiety, unsafe spaces and stranger danger keeping fanfiction authors apart. How do authors overcome these barriers to make connections, build relationships, exchange feedback and change lives? Stay tuned for the next part of our series on connection and feedback in fanfiction communities.

About This Series

This series is a breakdown of findings from an interview study run by a fanfiction research group within the department of Human Centered Design & Engineering at University of Washington. In January and February 2019, we interviewed 29 fanfiction authors to understand how they connect with each other, build relationships, and seek out writing feedback. We learned profound lessons about the importance of building connections, the reciprocality of relationships and feedback, and the intersection of fandom with real life identity.

#fanfiction research #fanfiction community #fanfiction #fanfic #qualitative research #interview #fanfiction authors #university of washington #online community #multifandom

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the-wardens-torch · 5 years

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LFRP - Falerin Arcita

(Following @painted-foothills ‘s lead here and using this more as an updated character profile for my “About” link than an RP solicitation - I’m not sure I have the guts to RP with anyone who isn’t already a mutual and even that’s super hard for me and almost never happens hahafffff.)

Falerin Arcita The Basics ––– – Age: 22 Birthday: 16th sun of the fifth astral moon (9/15) Race: Mostly Midlander Hyur with a smidge of Duskwight Elezen Gender: Cisgender male Sexuality: Pansexual Marital Status: Single, never married Physical Appearance ––– – Hair: Black - Straight and waist-length, usually worn in a ponytail or braid. Eyes: Royal Blue Height: 5’11 Build: Angular and long-limbed Distinguishing Marks: Scars; one slanted over his left eye running from hairline to mid-cheek, another along his jaw line (usually covered by his sideburns) and a third horizontally crossing his right shoulder. Freckles on his face, shoulders and back. Common Accessories: Leather jewelry, pointy wizard/witch hats, strappy boots/sandals, feathered hairpins, long fancy skirts, crop/tank tops. He tends to be an ostentatious dresser. Personal ––– – Profession: He considers himself a musician first and foremost - he has a wonderfully deep, smoky voice and sings very soulful, heartfelt songs - some of which he writes himself. He’s also Eorzea’s best accordion player *pause for laughter* and can also play piano and a few other instruments. Aside from that, he makes leather jewelry and accessories that he sells to a handful of independent shops. His “adventurer” job is Summoner, but you wouldn’t know it from talking to/looking at him. Hobbies: Collecting and writing songs, poems and stories (in print or spoken form,) occasional archery (more as an exercise/meditative practice than for combat reasons.) Languages: Common, Seeker Miqo’te huntspeak (though he’s pretty out of practice,) a handful of songs, poems and phrases in several other languages. Residence: Has a room in the Lavender Beds, but is more commonly found crashing at any of a number of friends’ houses around the main city-states. Birthplace: Arcita - a small port town in the Cieldalaes Islands Patron Deity: Azeyma Fears: Abandonment, loss, walking on shaky scaffolding/suspension bridges. Relationships ––– - Spouse: None Children: None Parents: Adoptive Mother - N‘elyrha Kikitu; Bard living in Wellwick Wood (estranged) Biological Mother - Roxane Seaborne - Inn manager living in the Cieldalaes (has never met her.) Biological Father - Uther Alcyone; Arcanist living in Idyllshire (estranged until very recently.) Siblings: 2 maternal half-brothers and 1 maternal half-sister (has never met them, is unaware of their existence.) Other Relatives: BFF-practically-soul mate Reonora Aestethe - who belongs to @aspected-benefic Pets: Ruby (aka Ru-Bee) - A “familiar” of sorts that resembles a sparrow-sized, translucent, red honeybee made of some sort of condensed aether. He is never without her, although she’s not always visible due to a knack for hiding in his clothes, accordion case or travel supplies. Friend - A feral, fish-loving Tight-Beaked parrot who’s not really a pet so much as an occasional tag-along. She(?)’s loud, obnoxious and not very friendly, but sometimes preens Fal’s hair or tries to eat his jewelry. Lamrei - A retired Twin Adder cavalry chocobo. She’s got a calm temperament and a penchant for eating any insect or rodent unfortunate enough to cross her path. Traits ––– - Extroverted / In Between / Introverted Disorganized / In Between / Organized Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded Calm / In Between / Anxious Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable Cautious / In Between / Reckless Patient / In Between / Impatient Outspoken / In Between / Reserved Leader / In Between / Follower Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic Traditional / In Between / Modern Hard-working / In Between / Lazy Cultured / In Between / Uncultured Loyal / In Between / Disloyal Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful Additional information ––– – Smoking Habit: Nah. Drugs: Indulges in something to soothe the nerves and/or trip balls once in awhile. Alcohol: Not much. He has a glass of wine a few times a sennight, otherwise he only really drinks at gigs and social events, and then just enough to loosen up (although he‘s pretty loose already hahaffff.)

RP Hooks ––– – Reluctant Mage: Fal doesn’t volunteer that he’s an arcanist/summoner, and really can only be caught using (or even talking about using) magic in dire situations. However, on the rare occasion an experienced mage might see him break out the spells, they would notice that his technique is unrefined and atypical to say the least. He casts via gestures and verbal/auditory components rather than diagrams and symbols, and does not summon -egis, though Ruby can mimic their abilities. He does carry a “grimoire” but closer inspection will reveal that just a book of dirty limericks rebound to look appropriately mystical. As a mage, he’s a unique curiosity at best and a butcher of ancient arts at worst, depending on your perspective. That’s What They Said: Fal’s into casual sex and will happily go home with/take home people of most any gender/race as long as they have a compatible personality and provide enthusiastic consent. A one night stand could easily turn into a lasting friendship. He also has a great respect for sex workers and adult entertainers of all kinds, and even spent a few years performing in the orchestra at a burlesque house. Bohemians: Fal performs solo most of the time, but its mostly for the sake of convenience. He actually loves the company of other creative folks and artists of all types, and is naturally drawn to them. Need to hire a guest musician in your band? Want some creative leatherworking ideas? Just want to talk poetry? Need people to come to your gallery showing? He’d love to. Even if you’re not a creative type, you can still hire him to play at your nameday party or make you a nice set of wristbands! Lowlives: Fal isn’t a member of the criminal underworld and doesn‘t actively commit crimes himself, but Eat the Rich and Fuck the Police are two of his favorite phrases. He’s happy to look the other way or even aid/abet people that fall on the wrong side of the law (within reason.) Please note that this DOES NOT mean he can’t make friends with individual nobility or authority figures, he‘s just inclined to be distrustful of them at first. On the flipside, it also DOES NOT mean he condones violent criminals.

RP Preferences ––– – I actually don’t do in-game, real-time Rping, due to my schedule and pathological shyness/social anxiety (sometimes it takes me a few minutes/hours/days to work up the courage to respond to friendly overtures dasdasdsdfff). Long-form, paragraph based RPs are my favorite - Discord chats work great for those! A little darkness is fine - horror, mature themes, angst, combat, injury, but please miss me with that super dark edge lord shit. I’ve seen some Bad Shit IRL and I don’t take kindly to gratuitous cruelty, torture, abuse or violence for its own sake. I’m also not interested in ERP at all, and I‘m not big on shipping or fluff as a goal or focal point. HOWEVER, I’m not against the idea of it if it develops organically.

OOCly I am ––– – -Full disclosure; In my 30s and would rather not RP with minors. -Employed full-time as a veterinary (laboratory) technician at a decent-sized small animal practice. -A longtime RPer - I started with D&D in high school and never looked back. -Very happily married (my partner is an Rper as well, just not into MMOs.) -Ace and honestly dgaf what pronouns you use for me because I’m Tired. -In the PST time zone. Contact Information ––– –

Discord is my preferred RP method - My handle is Falkyrie #6034

Also, I LOVE getting tagged with character/writing prompt memes - I want them all and will return the favor.

#About #Falerin Arcita #RP profile

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themelancholyhill · 2 years

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Water signs get each other on a deep emotional level so i’m not surprised you feel that way about me. And for some reason, i was really drawn to talking to you. Now i know why. 🥰 Not knowing is the worst thing that can happen to a person, it is worse than being told you’re not wanted anymore. Friendships, like any other relationships, require constant work to maintain. You have put so much care and attention into this friendship and the way it’s just fizzling out, is unbearable to see. But you know, everything is 50/50, it takes two people to be in a relationship, platonic or otherwise. I actually think he probably has his reasons for his actions, but he just doesn’t know how to articulate it to you, that or he is afraid to. Therein lies the immaturity. And you can’t make someone come to your level before they’re ready. Being sent mixed signals is also very confusing, which is why i always think clear communication is the key to every relationship we keep, even if you know the other person might feel a certain way about it, it’s better to speak your truth rather than keep it hidden. And yes, it is very draining to be kind, being kind is a choice but please don’t let this situation deter you! Kindness is so lacking in our society. Being cold and mean isn’t the answer, it keeps love out, and life is about experiencing all kinds of love, with all kinds of people. You will find your strength in this aftermath, there will be a day where you look back on this moment and be glad that you at least got to know him, even if it was only for a little while.

I’m watching the video you sent. This type of video isn’t what i normally watch, but it’s nice to step out of your comfort zone sometimes. My day yesterday was fine. I took a small break from writing recently and just got back into it. I realized how much i love this craft and that i should do it as much as i can, even if i have nothing to write about. Today is another lazy day, my mind needs soft rippling waves before the crash of bellowing surfs. ✖️

Isn't it fascinating to click with someone you haven't 'officially' met? I have few friends irl who understand me, but how special is it to get along with someone online 😌

I had crushes on guys before—I say 'crush' cause that's kinda the only term used to refer to being drawn to someone (it's mistakingly romantic but it can definitely be platonic!)—but this time, it's different. The guys I was interested in, I didn't get the chance to talk to them hence me getting over them quickly. This time, I talked with him and I managed to build a friendship with him which made it very special. If I hadn't talked to him, I'm sure I would've moved on a long time ago. I remember telling him after the incident with his friends and when he apologised for their behaviour, I told him if it wasn't for him I wouldn't stayed there in the first place! I cannot imagine a romantic relationship with him, but it doesn't mean that I'm giving up our friendship.

Post edit: all I'm trying to say is that he's not that good at expressing his feelings and this is why I find him confusing—but in a fascinating way.

As for kindness, we have to find the right balance and use it to the fullest depending on the people we're dealing with. I think there's a difference between being nice and being kind. The first is a means to show how humane we are to one another, the second is the proof that we care about certain people. In all cases, we have to do the right thing regardless of people and their intentions—knowing when to be nice and when to be kind.

I find it fascinating to know the inspiration behind a piece of art, be it a book, song, paining, etc. What do you like watching, video wise? I also enjoy video essays and commentary videos. My favourite YouTube comedians are: Drew Gooden, Danny Gonzales, Pyrocynical, James Mariott, Leon Lush, and other more!

It happens to me with writing and painting, too. If I do it everyday, I lose interest kinda, so I need to take regular breaks which helps rejuvenate my creativity. I can safely say that your writing is amazing based on the asks you send and I must say that replying to you helps me practice my writing. Not saying that I do it solely for that but it still helps me grow as an upcoming writer 🥰

#asks #hopeless romantics speaking #V✖

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wowdroid · 6 years

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kpop tag

I was tagged by @acelss thank you!!!! (I hope be tagging anyone because I’m just .... really lazy jsjsjs)

1) 5 favourite groups?

A.c.e, Blackpink,Nct,Epik High,MBLAQ

2) top 5 on your bias list?

Sehyoon, Jisoo, Hyuna, Mark, T.O.P

3)ult bias group and why you love them?

tbh, it’s kinda obvious that it’s a.c.e. they’re so sweet and kind and inspirational, the cutest group. I love their friendship and appreciate all the hard work they’ve done/ and honestly, since I’ve found them ,I noticed that I’ve become slightly more happy and way more positive and ugh, I love them so much.

4)ult bias and why you love them?

if my 45 paragraph on why I love sehyoon that I sent to @eefje-lucky-ace indicates anything, it’s that I’m am wHipped. But honestly I can go on more hours but.... he’s just the sweetest and most positive person I’ve seen? Like he has ways with words that just.... it’s deep, I guess, although that’s not the word I’m looking for, and the ways he comes up with them is cute and funny. And he’s not afraid to talk about what he’s thinking and the way he looks at the other members and fans is so tender and loving looking, it’s the best. And he’s always closely listening to the other’s! I also love his sense of humour and how weird he can get, as well a his small quirks you notice over time! Also his slightly crooked and gummy smile, I love it, especially when his whole faces conveys the smile and happiness! Ialso really love his eyes and ears, they’re very cute. But also, how he completely changes onstage is honestly so interesting and wild to experience and aahhhhhhhhhhh. Also his voice when he sings. He gets me in all the uwus

5) favourite kpop meme

uhhh.....I’m suddenly blanking on memes sjsjsj

6) favourite pic of your ult?

(atm it’s his picture from Black Exclamation, as well as another from them that’s from one of the fansigns)

7)10 favourite kpop mvs

1.Take me Higher - A.C.E

2.The 7th Sense - NCT U

3.Bae Bae - BigBang

4.Peek-a-boo - Red Velvet

5. Voodoo Doll - Vixx

6.Move - Taemin

7.Island - Winner

8.How’s This - Hyuna

9.Stay - Blackpink

10.Doom Dada - T.O.P

8)10 favourite kpop songs?

1.Dessert - A.c.e

2.Tell me What to do - Shinee

3.See u Later - Blackpink

4.new - Yves/Loona

5.Midnight Road - SF9

6.How’s This - Hyuna

7.Boss - NCT U

8.Napal Baji - Psy

9. Here Come the Regrets - Epik High and Lee Hi

10.Smoky Girl - MBLAQ

9) favourite kpop crack video?

I... only watch a.c.e ones and I haven’t watched one since April so ....can’t tell ya

10) favourite content creator within the fandom?

hmmmm......all of them

11) what fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

uhh....probably just choice/a.c.e

12) take your top 3 biases-fmk or kiss marry kill

kiss - Jisoo

marry - Sehyoon

kill - T.O.P :(

13) if you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

hmmm..... probably Byeongkwan or Hyuna

14)If you could date any idol, who?

..... sehyoon......

15) what’s one kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

I don’t really.... pay attention to albums so..... adventures in wonderland - A.c.e sjdjdjd

16)are you a soft stan or hard stan?

ngl..... both, tho maybe 65% soft and 35% hard?

17) an idol that makes you go into soft mode?

uhhhhhhh probably Chan and Mark?

18) an idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

100% Sehyoon and maybe Donghun too

19) favourite vocalist?

daesung and ailee? (and I also looove sehyoon and jisoo’s voice)

20) favourite rapper?

hmmm.... probably Jessi or Jay Park but they aren’t really kpop, sooo uhhhhh.... maybe Mino?

21) favourite dancer?

hmmmm idk

22) things you have in common with you’re ult?

well everyone says.... I guess the weirdness/4D personality? And we’re both quiet irl and we both like biking

23) the most beautiful trait an idol can have?

ooof.... their smiles or ears?

24) songs that will always make you jam along?

love like this - ss501 and dessert & cactus - a.c.e

25) your worst wrecker?

how can I have one when sehyoon exists....

26) any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

yes!! I went to see a.c.e’s sweet fantasy fancon in toronto back on May 19th!

27) favourite choreo?

hmmmm... probably.... the Paradise Lost cover did on mixnine? Or Boss

28) favourite live performance?

that one bigbang concert in japan where they did top of the world, or any of their love song performances!

29) favourite debut mv?

.... I don’t know, oops

30) recommend a rookie group

a.c.e :p

31) a kpop song you could listen o every day for the rest of your life?

love song - bigbang

#ask/tag games #oof that was long lol

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anxietysroomsupport · 3 years

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Ugh ok it’s late and I might regret writing this to someone in the morning but I’m genuinely upset now bc my brother just went on a tangent abt how shipping irl ppl is awful and disgusting but crankiplier (markiplier and crankgameplays) is right next tss for me rn and I almost told him yesterday and I’m really upset that he thinks something I enjoy is revolting. Is it actually that bad like should I actually stop? I don’t post anything abt it so I thought it would be fine and I know it’s not real and not gonna happen so it should be fine right? But then why does everything think it’s so awful. I know the real people don’t care for it but they don’t hate when people do it for funsies right? I just feel so bad now like am I actually a bad person? I always seem to have problematic ships and so I have no one to talk to about it but myself which is already kinda hard, but to think that I’m hated by ppl bc I think certain people can be cute together. Can you help me understand please, like should I stop? -🧸

Hi 🧸 Anon,

This is a very grey-zone question so I think it would help to go over a general range of all the kinds of IRL shipping that take place and talk about each one.

It’s also a hotly debated topic and you can find people for and against it all over the internet, so you might want to read through more opinions as well.

First off, the umbrella opinion seems to be that shipping real people together is not cool, because it can make those people very uncomfortable. Celebrities are already a lot more exposed than most people and their fans opinions can have a big sway on what content they produce and what directions their work takes. So, learning that huge numbers of their fans think they should be dating someone or other can be stressful, not matter how they actually feel about that person.

Some celebs take this information in different ways. Thomas Sanders and Jon Cozart apparently thought it was funny and leaned into their ship by making a video about their compatibility. But I recall a talented Loki cosplayer a while back who was very offended that fans were shipping him with another cosplayer and hated all the comments he got about it.

(There is also the side factor of people we see in media or online not necessarily showing their true personality, but actually a persona they create for their content. Deep analysis of those personas as if they were the real person can sometimes make those celebs feel incorrectly portrayed or misunderstood. For example, this is tied to why fanders, and Thomas himself, have made a point to clearly distinguish between the real Thomas and Character Thomas.)

So, what form does the shipping take anyway? If it’s just thoughts in your head - a headcanon - no harm no foul. It sounds like you’re in this category. The celebs can’t read your mind, there’s virtually no way anyone will ever become aware that this ship is taking place in your head. Your thoughts are your own and you shouldn’t feel bad for having them. This is like Level 1. But what if it went further?

Level 2 - innocent posts / chatter

From your example, Mark and Ethan do appear to have a very close friendship in their videos together. So it’s not a big jump to see a new video and comment on their friendship or closeness, and maybe you tag it “crankiplier”. Ships can be platonic, too, of course. Pretty innocent, just recognizing things they’ve actually done together, thinking it’s sweet, and chatting with other fans about it. It might not be the intended focus of the video, but their personalities and friendly chemistry is part of why they’re great to watch together.

Level 3 - fan-edits / art / fiction / and statements

This level is the ultimate grey-zone because of the broad sweeping range of content it encompasses. Redraws of scenes people have actually been in, edits or video compilations of people’s interactions are pretty safe. But art and fiction that are creating entirely new events get iffy. Those celebs didn’t really do those things. Now the fan is developing the relationship beyond what is really there, and should be reasonably cautious.

Special attention to the word “statements” - When fans say things in the comments section or directly at celebs like, “you two should ---” or, “when are you two gonna ---?”, it’s creating a clear potential for that person to feel pressured and uncomfortable.

Level 4 - NSFW /

NSFW suggestions, writing, and art are very questionable! People doing this should be prepared to highly curate who has access to their work, because hate will come out of the woodwork. And if the celebs in question found it, there’s a high chance they would be disturbed and offended, and it may cause them to speak out against it and the poster.

Level 5 - Toxic.

All the levels before now are still grey, albeit some more than others. But this level (that I just made up) represents the denial of facts. While shipping can often build off of what was already there, a toxic level of shipping denies all contradicting information and tries to force its own narrative. Think of celebrities who are actually in relationships already, but the ship is for a different pairing. Toxic shippers will hate the real relationship, sometimes even send hate to that S.O. and promote the failure of the person’s real life relationships in favor of the ship. That’s just wrong and it’s veering right into harassment.

(And coming back to the point about personas, a person might have a relationship that their fans don’t know about, because they keep their private life separate from the persona they present. Fans can’t know everything about a person, and therefore might cross the line without realizing it. The only way to prevent that is by not being so aggressive about a ship in the first place.)

Shipping IRL can stir up a lot of strife in a fandom, because everyone has different boundaries and because it has a high potential for going too far -because it has gone too far, too many times, and people, fans and celebs alike, remember dealing with the fallout of those events and how weird it made things for everyone. Some creators even leaving their work behind to get away from it. When a particular celeb has stated they are already in a monogamous relationship with someone else, or they don’t like being shipped in general, their decisions should be respected. Aggressive, pushy obsessions of IRL ships like in Level 5 should be avoided altogether just to be safe. The celeb’s life is not ours to control.

All that said, freedom of speech means you can say whatever you like, and if that means promoting an IRL ship in various forms, then you could do that. But other people can also tell you they don’t like it, or hate it even.

There will always be people who hate you, or hate groups you’re in, for all kinds of random reasons. People are just too diverse for it to be any other way. So long as you aren’t hurting anyone (e.g. actively and thoughtfully examining your actions to prevent hurting people) then you do you, friend.

-Miss Fay

#🧸#🧸 anon #shipping #irl shipping #long post

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pozolegirl · 7 years

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🐝🌼🌷

https://askbait.tumblr.com/post/157274867799/lovely-asks^^^ these are the questions this person was asking

(they wanted to stay anonymous but wanted me to answer these questions)

1. Tag three friends and your three favorite things about them!

It’s hard to do just three though. D: I’ll do some of my irl friends who I think go on tumblr more than the rest of my friends, hahaha. They’re more likely to see this than the others I guess.

- @pixgrl She is so sweet, and loves to show her love to others through small things like crafts or drawings. For our entire friendship she’s always made creative little things that I still treasure today, and they’re always so magical and make me want to create and imagine. She pushes me to be creative, and I’ve learned so much from her. And when I drive her home and we end up sitting in my car talking till like 2 in the morning about random things and deep things… it’s really nice. :’) I’m glad I have someone I can share things with and be creative with. I love you Abby!

- @coconutfella Ahh guys! I’ve been friends with Spencer since we were in middleschool! One of my favorite things about Spencer is that he works really hard on things. I remember when we were in art classes together and he was discouraged about his art, while my other friends and I were succeeding. But over the past few years he’s worked SO HARD and has pushed himself so much to become a truly incredible artist. Honestly I’m like jealous sometimes, he seems to grasp concepts that still avoid me, hahaha. But besides all that, he’s very respectful and kind, and tries very hard to make people happy. He’s defo one of my best friends and I’m very grateful to know him.- @amazonmountain She has been one of my best friends since I was a little girl. One of my closest cousins who has grown up with me and done crazy crazy things with me. She always has the best stories about her crazy life, and I could (and have) talk with her for hours. She is someone I can tell absolutely anything to. She is a good listener and has good advice. She’s protective of me, I know that and it makes me feel loved. :’) We’ve spent so many years exchanging stories and building imaginary worlds together, and sitting at our grandmother’s table and drawing with the rest of our families. She is always ready to watch something I recommend to her, and always has something new for me to see as well. We’re very different (vERY DIFFERENT) but work together well and without friction. I love her so much. 2. What are you attracted to in people personality-wise?

- A sense of humor and confidence. Not over confidence, I really admire people who are willing to learn and grow. But when people have confidence in themselves, and aren’t always vocalizing ‘oh man i really suck’, then I feel so much more comfortable around them. I’ve had friends in the past who were totally using that as a manipulation tactic that had me running circles around them worrying over them. So now whenever anybody whips out the self deprecation card over and over again, I try not to get into it because I’ve been really used and abused with that before.

3. What are you attracted to in people physical appearance-wise?

- Hmmmm I don’t really know, haha. I don’t know how to express this because like… I’m not really attracted to a lot of people. There’s like a handful of guys in this world that I’m like: ‘woOOAH DANG LOOK AT THEM I CANNOT HANDLE MY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW’. But that’s pretty rare. Usually people are like: omg look at him he’s so cute! And I’m just like: …..am I a horrible shallow human being because… I am not feeling anything. But they all look so different that I can’t really pinpoint a ‘type’ or anything. All my past crushes have looked so different. So like, people can joke that I like blond blue eyed guys based on my favorite characters from shows all they like, but in real life… there is no correlation. (But I guess blond haired boys are also Very Good and I guess I maybe have a thing for that, haha, but it’s in no way a deal breaker) (I think this is Tamaki’s fault) (They just look so pretty, help) For reals tho, like the prettiest person that I know is this boy who has tannish skin and dark brown hair, and bright blue grey eyes and oH MAN I’VE THOUGHT HE’S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON SINCE THE FIRST MOMENT I SAW HIM IN HIGHSCHOOL and that’s different I guess so???

i don’t know what to say.

#Anonymous #this took me awhile to type up and now it's like 2 am #i hope my friends see this so they can see the nice things i said about them #i love them #i also have too many friends on here and i want to write nice things about all of them

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gengarfamily · 7 years

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I still get reviews and messages sometimes about Don’t Take Forever, and whenever I’m sad I read through them and it makes me SO happy so I thought I’d share My Top DTF Moments and their origins.

Part One: Johto (slowburnhell)

so when I started writing this it was going to be a little cute oneshot collection of nice moments at various points in their journey (but then plot happened so) and all the plot fell together because I was obsessively listening to Lucy Rose at the time, specifically her song Little Brave (which actually gave the title, bc don’t take forever is like the chorus riff).

FAVE part of this chapter is the cafe scene in Olivine, where the foghorn jokes begin and May was crying but subtly doesn’t feel AS sad when she’s around him. The foghorn jokes that I get so much shit for now are from an irl conversation between me and a friend, when we used to give each other shit for our own bouts of seasickness, and he lived in a place where we needed boat transportation to see each other.

Other fave part is probably the hug in Blackthorn, because it makes me all squirmy and warm to think about, and it’s also my fave bit of the piano arrangement I did for this. anyway.

Big belief that Drew associates every single sunset he sees with May so obviously that’s why I kept writing her has wearing burnt orange I’m not sorry. AND OBVIOUSLY THEY KNOW EACH OTHERS BREAKFAST ORDERS THIS ISN’T EVEN A QUESTION.

Top Quote:

“Well you know, foghorns,” he shrugged, and she laughed harder. “They just call out to me.”

Part Two: Sinnoh (angst city)

I love lonely Drew. I LIVE for lonely Drew. Drew brooding and sulking and quietly repressing his emotions because he has more important things to focus on than just his girlfriend being far away; this is my aesthetic. I think my 100% top moment in this was probably catching Driftloom? I love Floroma Town and the windworks as an area in Sinnoh from way back when I first played D/P, I thought it was such a pretty place and if I lived anywhere in the Pokemon Universe it would DEFINITELY be there.

Originally, I was going to write Drew’s mother as promising lots, and then ditching all the time. Sort of, she really wishes she could be a good mother but she’s just terrible at follow through and she can’t be counted on, so she was going to miss the final match and let him down or s o m e t h i n g, and I was going to have a bit of a stand off between Brendan and Drew, not over May, but over Marina and Drew’s dislike of her making Brendan super angry or SOMETHING. (I had a lot of vague ideas). In the end, I realized Marina was best left alone to be developed properly another time, because I always wanted to let her fall back into place with Jimmy. I also knew I wanted Karen to have some horrible bitterness to her, and some kind of “once mine, always mine,” mentality, so this idea of desperately clinging to her last chance of a good reputation seemed appealing.

Dawn and May in the coffee shop and Dawn yelling loudly about May’s feelings to embarrass her in front of Drew’s Dad is everything that matters to me. Also, I gave May an astigmatism because if you tell me that’s a girl who can see 100% you’re telling me a lie. ALSO DREW AND MAX SHOULD BE BEST FRIENDS that’s all.

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“Drew likes to make you think he’s cool,” Max informed them dutifully, pushing his glasses up his nose a little, “but it’s a lie. It’s a well thought out, calculated lie. This is part of the lie. Never forget, he is in fact a weenie.”

Part Three: Hoenn (1)

I live for the Christmas section here. I wanted to set them up as companions, that even though they traveled separately they were a unit and they were a partnership and what better environment than navigating a family christmas? Caroline and Drew as a friendship means EVERYTHING to me. And anyone who has spoken to me for more than three seconds knows that I have a LOT of feelings about Norman and May, but I’ll talk about that in the next section.

#letpaulappreciatecontests2k17

Shout out to this section for Max, who introduces Drew as top coordinator and full time weenie when he battles Norman. This is the most frequently commented upon moment when I get messages and reviews, and it means so much to me that you seem to share my terrible sense of humor.

the bit where May does Drew’s tie because she’s used to league functions with her family and Drew is just a sarcastic mess was completely improvised because I had just realised that I would have to cut Hoenn into two parts, and I was naive and thought I’d need padding. I thought I might take it out when I realised HOW LONG Hoenn p2 ended up being but it’s now my fave bit of fluff in the whole thing, so. you know. have at it. and it also kind of hints at the whole sexual tension part of their relationship that gets addressed in part four so here just take it you sinners

The whole phone cliffhanger at the end was originally going to go somewhere SO MUCH MORE DEEP and have this horrible plotline where Drew’s parents had a huge thing and Matthew tried to reach May to talk to Drew before Karen could but I decided it was best to Leave Drew Alone for a while.

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“Gross,” Marina commented sagely. “You’re that couple. The ‘oh we just... you know, spent a few weeks drifting around Sinnoh, on a whim. No big deal. We’re so in love, look how gross and happy we are’.”

Part Four: Hoenn (2)

Dawn as main rival is best main rival; obviously. I wanted a differing ~main~ person for M&D to come up against as a collective in every section at first, so it would start with Marina and then Brendan and then Dawn, but all with very differing kinds of rivalries. But then when Brendan stopped being an antagonist, and Karen and Matthew became the bulk of the issue in Sinnoh, much reevaluation happened and I wanted to talk about Drew’s relationship with Harley, so once M&D were together I wanted them to have their own conflicts as individuals and seperate battles to fight, and not lose them to some unified being that lost both of their personalities. I always wanted to have conflict between May and Norman, and definitely May and Solidad as well (again, p4) but once I figured out the Anti-Ikarishipping subplot and the difficulties I wanted Drew to have in that contest season, it made sense to pit him against Paul and Harley in different ways. Harley was a very aggressive rivalry and full of a lot of hurt on both sides, but with Paul I wanted it to be very passive. He was like a figure head for everything Drew had struggled with, and Dawn’s issue with Paul was supposed to mirror what could have happened with May and Drew if it had all gone Wrong.

cookieshipping was OBVIOUSLY going to be a part of this.

I desperately wanted some kind of conflict between Soledad and May, and originally it was going to be more around Soledad’s battling lul and her blaming May for that, and then also blaming her for Drew’s lul, and then all these negative feelings just sort of consuming her and snapping her, and while that doesn’t happen there’s an undercurrent of frustration that May caught her up and makes her a little dismissive but not to the point where she won’t prioritise her and Drew being happy? I guess. I like that their conflict ends up being nothing about coordinating, and nothing about their actual friendship, because they’re two very non-confrontational people, but two very emotionally intelligent people also, so their conflict all stems from an inability to agree with how Drew should process and how much they each individually care about him. Soledad dismissing May as overreacting felt natural because I felt May DID overreact while I was writing it, and with all the grand festival pressure I wanted that. Sometimes I wish I could rewrite it and make the underlying tensions a little clearer, because a lot of that is lost in the actual writing and it doesn’t come through the way I wanted it to, and it makes them all a little petty, but it can’t be helped now. (AKA: my biggest regret.)

I got a lot of people calling me out on the fact May and Drew had sex. in general, I feel like this chapter was both the weakest and the strongest in different ways, depending on what you’re looking for. I knew from the MOMENT I knew the plot that they needed to have that part of their relationship aired, because it’s such a natural and caring part of a lot of relationships and it didn’t seem right that they were becoming so emotionally firm and absolute with each other but were completely limited to little pecks on the cheek - it felt wrong with their characters when they’ve always been - even in the canon - so drawn to one another in a way that would so easily build to that, in the most respectful and caring of ways. anyway I wanted it to parallel their communication, so the more openly they talked with each other, the more physical they would be, in both mannerisms and in eventual actions. (I kept the scene PG so it’s all fine, I guess.)

I’ve gotten a few messages I’ve never publicly responded to about May and Norman and their relationship and where it comes from so here’s my official answer. : no. you’re wrong. it’s not me and my dad. congrats sherlock. I based it off moments in the ruby/sapphire game and the way May responds to him in the anime. Now, the relationship between them in An Adventurer is quite different, and I’ll cop to a part of that being my exploring my relationship with my dad. But it’s mostly manga references and a little bit of lingering tension from an unresolved relationship in DTF.

May and Dawn’s fight was the MOST FUN to write, and when I got to the last of Dawn’s pokemon I was legitimately like “okay so how many pokemon has she got left” and I was STUNNED because there were none, so I wrote that reaction into May’s numb-post-win feel.

The Elite Four part? mmmmmmmm. can’t possibly comment. maybe i’ll explain in the sequel. (COMING THIS SUMMER) *maybe* ((((oh god let me graduate)))))

#my writing #don't take forever #throwback #backstory #analysis #long post

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theconservativebrief · 6 years

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What a lot of people don’t appear to understand is that the single easiest way to make friends is to show up when it matters — and the single easiest way to lose friends is to, well, not.

That sounds obvious, but a pattern I’ve observed again and again among the people in my social circle (a social circle that skews young and urban, to be clear) is that they often don’t have close, meaningful friendships. They want them, but they aren’t willing to go out of their way to dedicate time and effort to developing these relationships.

Take this scenario. You met someone who seems really cool, and you immediately think you could be good friends. They invite you to hang out again — say, to have drinks with some of their friends you haven’t met. You say sure, you’ll be there. Then the day arrives. Maybe you’ve had a long week at work, or you’re just not in the mood to meet new people, or you have a few other invites for that night that look more fun. You text them, “Sorry, can’t make it tonight.” They tell you not to worry about it, they’ll see you next time. But days and then weeks and then months pass, and you never become more than acquaintances.

There’s nothing wrong with this scenario. You’re not going to be friends with everyone! You don’t have to be; that’s normal. But if you’re someone who wants to build deep friendships but consistently chooses to not show up when the opportunity is presented, then maybe it’s time to unpack why and to think about what you can do to change that.

The most extreme case of this phenomenon I’ve experienced happened when a distant acquaintance messaged me saying that she wanted to be friends. So we found a time to have dinner. She messaged me the day we were supposed to meet and said she couldn’t make it, and so we rescheduled for the next weekend. That happened six weekends in a row, and each time she bailed last minute. I saved six Saturday nights for this person, and she found reasons not to come to every single one.

Let’s talk about flakiness. In an increasingly connected, noisy world where infinite possibilities for how we could spend our time loom over us, flakiness abounds. I host a lot of events, and what I know now is that I should expect at least half of the people who explicitly RSVP’d “yes” to bail. It makes sense — the societal norms have changed, we’re busy, we have a lot of options for how to spend our time. But while a packed schedule explains why we can’t attend everything we’re invited to, I’m not sure it explains why we say we will and then … don’t.

My theory is that flakiness is rooted in dishonesty with ourselves and others about what matters to us. It’s not that we’re malicious; it’s that we’re aspirational. And while that doesn’t negate the harm caused by flakiness, it might explain why it’s so common. At any given point in time, there are countless versions of our lives that we can see for ourselves, and we’re committed to maintaining that optionality. We could be a person who has that hobby or goes to that event or has that friend; we have that option, and we expect it’ll always be there.

But inevitably, we make choices, and slowly over time, the choices we have made, not the choices that we could make, are what, in the aggregate, decide who we are. When it comes to friends, it’s the relationships we’re invested in that count — not the relationships we could invest in if we ever made the time for them.

What defines a friendship? Can it be quantified? I’m inclined to think not, and yet I have a vague feeling after I’ve spent some amount of time or shared some number of experiences with someone that I can call them a friend. At some point, somewhere, a switch flips.

So then I have to think, what flips that switch in the other direction? How many canceled drinks and dinners and coffees does it take before we’re no longer friends with someone? How many big life events do we miss before we start saying we used to be friends? Probably fewer than we think. Flakiness has its costs, and we often don’t realize them until it’s too late.

With that in mind, now I have a few proposals for you, a person who seeks to build and sustain meaningful friendships:

1) Don’t be chill when it comes to making friends. Tell people you like or respect or value that they’re great and you want to hang out with them. If they signal that they’re not interested, that’s fine — but don’t miss the opportunity to get to know someone wonderful just because you don’t want to appear overly eager.

2) Be personal. Talk about your real problems, and ask people about theirs. Invite someone into your home instead of going to a bar or coffee shop. Give thoughtful gifts. A big part of friendship is understanding someone for who they are and having them understand you for who you are, and that’s not possible without some degree of vulnerability.

3) Get comfortable saying no to people you don’t want to prioritize. That sounds harsh, but in the end, it will save your time and effort and theirs. It’s not a kindness to “perform” friendship without genuine support and commitment, and both of you have limited time to spend. Instead of saying you’ll grab lunch and then canceling yet again, you can just part ways and make friends who are better suited to each of you.

4) Remember to reciprocate. If your friend is always the initiator, invite them to do something with you. If you do have to cancel on someone — sometimes circumstances happen — you should be the one to make a plan for the future. And then make sure that it happens.

5) Show up for people who matter to you. Sometimes that means your physical presence; sometimes that just means your emotional support. There will always be reasons to not be there, but if you keep choosing other commitments over a friendship, that’s a signal to that person. Friendships aren’t static. They require work from both people.

None of my closest friendships were forged solely because we had so much in common or it was convenient. It was because we prioritized each other. When we had options — and there are always, always options — we chose each other more often than we didn’t. There have been times when people I didn’t think were close friends showed up for me when I didn’t expect it, and that’s what deepened our friendships.

It was in that vein that I developed a close-knit group of friends. When I met them, two of them had just ended long-term, serious relationships. A few of us were deeply conflicted about our jobs and our lives and whether our work would ever be fulfilling. There were days when someone would post in our group chat that everything was awful and terrible, and we’d organize immediately to cancel our plans and gather somewhere and listen to them vent over dinner and a bottle of wine. And that was everything — knowing we all had that support and knowing we had people who depended on us for that support.

These relationships are some of the most rewarding parts of my life, and they didn’t just happen. We built them. So the next time you’re faced with the question of whether to show up or not show up for someone, be conscious about how that choice impacts your relationship. Because, for better or worse, it will.

Jackie Luo is a software engineer and photographer, and she runs IRL Society and the Framework Project. She studied philosophy at Columbia University. You can find her on Twitter @jackiehluo.

First Person is Vox’s home for compelling, provocative narrative essays. Do you have a story to share? Read our submission guidelines, and pitch us at [email protected].

Original Source -> The key to making and keeping friends as an adult: stop flaking out on plans

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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