#I am sick and dying rn which is why I am making this
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WE ARE THE LOVESICK (GIRLS) - SAE ITOSHI
synopsis: Sae learns what the term 'whipped' means and comes to terms with it.
content: a sick!fic, fluff, sfw, early established relationship, itoshi siblings have a good(?) relationship, feels more like a brother bonding fic, soft!sae, sae centric pov, fem!reader
word count: 1.6K
a/n: yuh the title is based off of my fave blackpink song hehe and my bf is sick rn and instead of taking care of him im writing instead whoops - also posting this on rins birthday is NOT a crime
There are two things that Sae takes from this impromptu trip back home. One is that he should've done his passport renewal online because now he has to wait up to a whole month. He's not mentally prepared to explain that to his manager who's currently over six thousand miles away. And two, he's recently learned that you get sick really easily when you travel. Like ridiculously sick.
"Sae, I'm dying."
There's a sniffle. A cough. And then silence.
You definitely sound like you’re dying, Sae thinks. From the kitchen, he carefully watches your movements on the couch. Which is almost minimum to none. When you don’t respond to your name, Sae rushes over and takes a look. Your cheeks are flushed, hair sticking to your forehead in a way that didn’t look comfortable, a bit of drool hangs from the sides of your mouth from your lack of ability to breathe, and worst of all —
"My head hurts, Sae…" Another cough. "Do you have any aspirin?"
In the most loving way, he wishes you would’ve just stayed back in Spain.
He takes hold of your palms and places his forehead against yours. It's hot and wet to the touch. It makes him physically recoil back and Sae looks almost annoyed with himself. Maybe he should've tried harder to convince you to not come.
Sae hasn't been back home in maybe a year or two, he thinks, but surely there must be some aspirin or any form of medicine in the house, right? A quick rush through the drawers and every nook and cranny in the house proves him otherwise.
Sae jogs back to your curled-up figure on the couch and throws on his windbreaker. "I'll go out to the store and get some."
"No," You sit up too fast and wince, hands settling on the sides of your temples to support the weight of your head. "I'll get over it soon. Maybe it's just the humid weather?" You lamely suggest.
You always double down whenever it comes to your health. Trying to convince yourself that it'll get better soon because you hate being an inconvenience to others — others being Sae. You're doing this even when you look like an absolute (beautiful) wreck in Sae's eyes right now. But maybe he shouldn't exactly leave you alone when you're in a feverish state, especially in a space you're unfamiliar with.
He takes off his windbreaker and gently places it over your shoulders as he thinks on his feet. "Then I'll get someone else to do it."
You wrap yourself in his jacket and repress back a coughing fit. "Huh, like who?"
Only one person pops up in his mind and Sae isn't sure if he can count on him. But, even after everything that they've gone through, he can probably trust him. Well, maybe not trust but more like he's his only option.
"When did you even get back?"
"Last night," Sae answers and rushes to the point. "I need you to make an errand run."
"What?" Rin’s voice fills with annoyance over the line. "Why would I do that?"
"Because," Sae looks over his shoulder at the sight of your body in a fetal position on the couch. You’re visibly shaking a bit too much for his liking. Sae takes a deep breath and exhales loud enough for his brother to hear. "My girlfriend is sick. I've checked the cabinets and we don't have any medicine. I don't want to leave her alone at our house."
There's a pause and Sae is wondering if his brother has hung up. Then, Rin clears his throat on the line.
"You want me to drop what I’m doing to get medicine for your sick girlfriend? Am I hearing that right?"
Sae snaps his head at the sound of you coughing once more. You look disheveled and your eyes are unfocused on what's in front of you. He sharply inhales once more. "That's exactly what I want. Do you need me to repeat it?"
Another pause and then it's Rin's turn to sigh.
"Whatever. Be there in fifteen."
And Rin keeps his word, showing up precisely in fifteen minutes, in his tracksuit to be exact, begrudgingly holding a plastic bag in his hands. The big yellow smiley face contrasts sharply with Rin's visibly irritated expression. In the bag, there’s a bottle of aspirin, cough syrup, vitamin gummies, and three ice cream bars.
Rin takes one of the ice cream bars before shoving the bag into Sae's hands. "You owe me." He hisses out.
Sae ignores his brother's glare and only nods, mumbling a lazy "thanks" before making his way back into the living room. Rin quietly follows behind. Sae figures it's because he's semi-curious about how he's been, though Rin will never admit it.
You stir from the couch at the sound of plastic and wake up when Sae pours out the contents onto the coffee table, immediately ripping the cough syrup packaging open and pouring the recommended amount into the little plastic cup.
"Here, take this." And Sae watches as Rin grimaces at how softly he speaks to you.
You weakly nod and tilt your head enough for Sae to bring it to your lips. A quick swallow followed by an equally quick shudder from the bitterness and you manage to crack a small grin. "Thank you, babe."
Rin suppresses a gagging noise when Sae plants a chaste kiss on your forehead. You take this moment to finally register two and two together. Sae hasn't outright introduced you to his family members, but he has shown you pictures of them from time to time.
"Sorry for the intrusion—you must be Rin, right?" You sit up straight, still wrapped around Sae's windbreaker, and extend out a hand. "He's told me a lot about you."
Yeah, maybe Sae should've locked you back home.
His younger brother throws him a look, not annoyed but slightly amused. "He has?"
You seem to miss the panicked scowl that Sae flashes at you and continue on. "Plenty! He talks about you almost every day and watches your games at the dinner table."
Sae tenses when he feels Rin's gaze hardening on him. "You do...?"
Sae awkwardly clears his throat, suddenly feeling heat rushing to his neck, and starts heading towards the kitchen. "I'm going to make a drink."
Fortunately, you didn't catch the thick tension and begin rambling to Rin. And seeing Rin attempting to start a conversation with you is physically painful. Sae sips on a cup of coffee as you talk about what you do for a living and how you and Sae met. Rin awkwardly nods, adding a small few comments here and there. He'll occasionally try his best to smile and sound remotely interested without coming off as a deadpan ass. Talking to Rin is like talking to a rock, Sae concludes. A giant, lanky, grumpy rock.
"It was nice meeting you, Rin." Your voice still sounds fried but better than what it was earlier.
"Yeah, you too." The taller male rubs the back of his neck sheepishly and stands. "Hey," Rin's voice directs over to Sae and he nudges his head towards the hallway. "Mind if we talk real quick?"
Sae exhales for what it feels like the tenth time today. "Sure."
Both brothers lean on opposite sides of the wall, seemingly also avoiding each other's gazes because wow the floor looks mildly entertaining right now. When was the last time that they even had a proper conversation without ripping each other's throats apart? Sae honestly can't remember but it didn't seem like that was on Rin's to-do list.
Rin breaks the heavy silence first with a loud unwrapping sound from his ice cream bar. He stares at it for a long moment and splits the bar down the middle, offering one stick to Sae. "How long are you staying for?"
Sae accepts it and takes a small bite. "A month."
"Showing your girlfriend around the country?"
"Maybe, but I'm just waiting on my passport."
"Should've done it online, dumbass."
Sae pretends the comment doesn't tick him off. "Why are you asking anyway?"
"Nothing." Rin drops the subject and finishes off his half of the dessert. "You've gotten softer. It's like you're whipped or something."
Sae rolls his eyes and bites off the remaining ice cream on his stick. "What does that mean?"
"It means that if she asked you to do a handstand and sing a song, you'd do it."
Sae finds himself pausing, thinks for a bit, and shrugs. "And that's a bad thing?"
Rin's eyes narrow before racking a hand through his hair. "Actually, forget I said anything."
For a brief second, Sae isn't sure if Rin is annoyed at the fact that he would do all those things for you or if he's annoyed that he didn't know what whipped means. Maybe both.
Rin pushes himself off the wall and starts heading towards the entrance, waving off to you as you lay on the couch, probably scrolling aimlessly on the phone. Before Rin steps out, he whips around and gives Sae a final hard stare.
"If you're ever free, let me know." And before Sae can even respond, he's out the door.
You giggle from the couch at the interaction. "He's cute."
The couch dips slightly as Sae plops down next to you, arms immediately wrapping around your waist and tugging you close to his embrace. "Sometimes weird." He adds.
"By the way," You start in a coy tone. "You're fine with doing all of that?"
Sae presses his lips against your shoulder and hums. "Doing all of what?"
"A handstand and singing me a song." Your grin is so infectious that it's making his heart swell.
"I can do it no problem," Sae replies easily.
#blue lock#bllk#blue lock imagines#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#doobea writing#blue lock headcanons#itoshi sae#sae itoshi#sae itoshi x reader#itoshi sae x reader#blue lock fluff#is this another soft sae fic?#of course it is silly!#dw my bf is fine#i think?#im changing up my lil dividers hehe#gonna associate the colors w the character :>
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It didn't feel right to add it to the post I just reblogged but one of the many things that sticks with me is that no only is Frodo distinctly NOT a "Chosen One" he instead is the one who chooses his quest despite not really wanting to...but no one else wants him to choose this either
Gandalf, Elrond, Aragorn, his fellow hobbits and so on do not want this small, gentle, already gravely injured hobbit, to take on this dangerous journey that will almost certainly end in death
They see him dying on this quest as the tragedy it should be seen
But once he has made this choice they all also choose to take on the quest with him
They do not try to take it off him. They understand why he made the choice and they know he's right, but they would not have made him go.
Aragorn is the closest thing to a Chosen One and he still had to make the Choice to go on his side quest, but ultimately he did it to help Frodo
Sam and Frodo finish physically carrying the ring to Mount Doom and they absolutely are the heart of the quest. The One Who Chose and the One Who Chose Him
But the others, though seperate and dispersed, are also helping them carrying this burden and aiding their quest
Their moves are calculated and accidental in keeping Sauron's eye away from Frodo
And each time it's a choice
The closest we get to a prophecy is:
1. a dream Boromir or Faramir had (I cant remember which rn. I am sick, haven't been able to sleep, and currently have a mild fever) which only says that a hobbit and the ring are at Elrond's house. Not what to do about that.
2. "No man can kill me" referring to the witch king but that wasn't supposed to be solved by gender fuckery with Eowyn. Gandalf was supposed to do it! He says so! But he chooses to save Faramir and Eowyn and Merry choose to attack and successfully take down the Witch King
Everything that happens. Every heroic and brave and significant happening was not a matter of prophecy or "chosen ones" or "fate"
It was a choice
People choosing to do things they do not want and do not like and cause them to suffer...because they believe they put things right. And they succeed because it's a community, in different parts, doing different things, but all making choices that support their shared goal
And I'm a little feverish but I have a lot of feelings about that rn
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Volume III Chapter IV/V of the original 1818 text of Frankenstein lives in my brain rent free. I need to rant about Clerval’s death or I’ll loose it. (It’s late and I’m exhausted rn so my ass is NOT as coherent and structured as it could be but fuck it we ball)
“He appeared to be a handsome young man, about five and twenty years of age.” MY PRECIOUS BOY
“(…) having brought the body into her house; it was not cold. They put it into a bed, and rubbed it; and Daniel went to the town for an apothecary, but life was quite gone.” HE MIGHTN’T HAVE BEEN DEAD WHEN THEY FOUND HIM BUT IT WAS TOO LATE
“I saw the lifeless form of Henry Clerval stretched before me. I gasped for breath; and, throwing myself on the body, I exclaimed, “Have my murderous machinations deprived you also, my dearest Henry, of life? Two I have already destroyed; other victims await their destiny: but you, Clerval, my friend, my benefactor”——
The human frame could no longer support the agonizing suffering that I endured, and I was carried out of the room in strong convulsions.
A fever succeeded to this. I lay for two months on the point of death (…)” THE WAY VICTOR REACTS TO AND SPIRALS FROM CLERVAL’S DEATH IS SO MUCH MORE SEVERE THAN ANYTHING ELSE THAT HAPPENS TO HIM and it’s also an extremely interesting character study to see what happens when the only person he ever really seemed to have a mutual loving and healthy relationship with gets cut out of the picture – Victor’s had his fevers, he’s wallowed, but he always had Clerval to draw him from his wallowing and to nurse him back to health. So what happens when Clerval’s death is the cause of that anguish? THE DRAMA THE ANGST I love these silly little gothic losers to death but watching Frankenstein grieve over the passing of who was pretty much essentially his lover is fascinating to me and it SHOWS how much Frankenstein adores Clerval through the latter’s death. THE MAGNITUDE OF HIS GRIEF IS A TESTAMENT TO THEIR LOVE oml i can’t rn frfr THEYRE SO GAY AND SO GOTHIC I CAN NOT
“Why did I not die? More miserable than man ever was before, why did I not sink into forgetfulness and rest?” “I thank you; but all that you mention is nothing to me: on the whole earth there is no comfort which I am capable of receiving.” “(…)surely I should have died on the coffin of Henry.” AGAIN Victor’s absolute grief tearing himself up over it
“As my sickness quitted me, I was absorbed by a gloomy and black melancholy, that nothing could dissipate. The image of Clerval was for ever before me, ghastly and murdered.” “Sometimes they were the expressive eyes of Henry, languishing in death, the dark orbs nearly covered by the lids, and the long black lashes that fringed them.” Again what I said about his grief being a testament to their love bro, REMINISCING ABOUT HIS DEAD LOVER AND HIS BEAUTY EVEN IN DEATH WHILE GRIEVING HIM I CANT BRO
“Ah! my father, do not remain in this wretched country; take me where I may forget myself, my existence, and all the world.” HERE’S THE START OF HIM PUSHING AWAY THE MEMORY AND TRYING TO SUPPRESS IT BECAUSE THE GRIEF IS TOO SEVERE and that is SO interesting for how he shifts his tone with Elizabeth and puts up that fake demeanour of wanting to marry her because he thinks it’ll make HER happy even though both of them describe dreading the wedding, also possibly another argument for the legitimacy of reading Clerval and Frankenstein’s relationship as romantic – in order to forget him, he assigns himself to the role given to him as a child by marrying Elizabeth and gives up whatever he hope he had (possibly discouraged from Clerval being murdered as a response to Victor refusing to finish the Bride and subject her to the same fate as him and Elizabeth to the Creature, a pact made without her knowledge or consent, an arranged marriage. Where has spiting that tradition led him? Where has him standing up to the shroud of his mother’s dying wishes, hanging over him the entire novel thus far, led him, by refusing to force the Bride into an arranged marriage with the Creature, as he was with Elizabeth? To the death of the one man he truly loved. So fuck it, right? He can at least “make his dear cousin happy” and not die spiting the one thing he was meant to do – make his mother proud from beyond the grave by marrying Elizabeth.)
“the wind that blew me from the detested shore of Ireland(…)” sorry my country traumatised you bro (I mentioned to one of my teachers while explaining the plot of Frankenstein to them, as you do, that this chapter takes place in Ireland and the “god damn ok” face was priceless)
“I was deceived by no vision, and that Clerval, my friend and dearest companion, had fallen a victim to me and the monster of my creation. I repassed, in my memory, my whole life; my quiet happiness while residing with my family in Geneva, the death of my mother, and my departure for Ingolstadt. I remembered shuddering at the mad enthusiasm that hurried me on to the creation of my hideous enemy, and I called to mind the night during which he first lived. I was unable to pursue the train of thought; a thousand feelings pressed upon me, and I wept bitterly.” HE’S TRYING SO DESPERATELY TO LEAVE IT BEHIND AND TO REPRESS IT but now he’s left Ireland and he’s no longer feverish, the clarity washes over him and he can’t do anything except just lie there and cry over everything that’s happened AND MY POOR LAD HE CANT EVEN CONTINUE BEYOND THE POINT OF THE CREATURES REANIMATION BECAUSE THOSE FEELINGS PRESS DOWN ON HIM AND CROWD HIM AND OVERWHELM HIM AND HE JUST BREAKS INTO SOBS
And what happens after “the night during which he first lived”?
He’s saved from his own downward spiral by Clerval.
What’s he doing now?
Going on a downward spiral.
Where’s Clerval?
Dead.
“Ever since my recovery from the fever I had been in the custom of taking every night a small quantity of laudanum; for it was by means of this drug only that I was enabled to gain the rest necessary for the preservation of life. Oppressed by the recollection of my various misfortunes, I now took a double dose, and soon slept profoundly. But sleep did not afford me respite from thought and misery; my dreams presented a thousand objects that scared me.” And Christ above THIS LINE, not only can he now physically not sleep at night after what happened, but he’s gotten into the habit of drug use over it – which wouldn’t have been too bizarre by Victorian standards, but in the 18th century, laudanum wasn’t administered nearly as liberally and was mostly used for surgery, from what I can find, anyway. Not to mention that fact that he starts double dosing on it as the memories come back to him – his grief starts getting to the point where he’s using drug use in order to cope, but it hardly matters as his torment follows him to sleep.
“We had resolved not to go to London, but to cross the country to Portsmouth, and thence to embark for Havre. I preferred this plan principally because I dreaded to see again those places in which I had enjoyed a few moments of tranquillity with my beloved Clerval. I thought with horror of seeing again those persons whom we had been accustomed to visit together, and who might make inquiries concerning an event, the very remembrance of which made me again feel the pang I endured when I gazed on his lifeless form in the inn at ——.” THIS LINE LIVES IN MY BRAIN. RENT FREE. HOW COULD SHELLEY HAVE CUT THIS OUT OF THE 1831 PUBLICATION THIS IS SO GOLDEN DEAR LORD I ADORE THEM.
“MY BELOVED CLERVAL”
BUT ALSO AGAIN we’ve got Frankenstein trying SO desperately to forget everything, and he knows that he can’t face the people who knew Clerval or he’d break down. And I love the way this version continues on his grief to the next chapter – it’s not done and dropped, its ongoing and it plagues him, and it will plague him as long as he lives. I wonder what would happen if he did go through London, if he did meet those people again. Would things have turned out differently? Would he finally have been given a sense of comfort and clarity through mutual grief, as nobody so far since Henry’s death and for the rest of the book, except the creature, ironically, has grieved for Clerval except for Frankenstein. If he met people who took as fondly to Clerval as he did, at least on meeting him briefly, who would have sympathy towards Victor – would he finally have that space to grieve for him in a healthy way, to be comforted by people who at least vaguely understand a fraction of his anguish?
The way Victor Frankenstein BREAKS after the death of Henry Clerval is one of the most fascinating and endearing parts of the novel that completely lives in my head rent free. He spirals, he becomes ill, he becomes deeply suicidal and depressed, he begins drug misuse – and adaptations have the sheer balls to cut Clerval out of the story altogether.
…..”My beloved Clerval” HELP ME HE ACTUALLY SAID IT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
#gothic lit#classic literature#gothic literature#frankenstein#goth lit#classic lit#frankenstein weekly#clervalstein#Victor Frankenstein#Henry Clerval#frankenstein or the modern prometheus#frankenstein 1818
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Hello there! I'm sick rn and it's a wonderful time to get some headcanon.
So i got sick for 3 days before and after like one or two days the cold come back. Google said it's because I am lack of sleep and get stress too much which is true. I often pretend to sleep then wake up again when the other is asleep. May i get the bad sanses reaction?
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Aw man, I hope you feel better! Sorry it took so long for this to come out, I hope you're healthy by the time this does come out lol
Nightmare: Sadly for you, Nightmare didn't really NEED to sleep so he would lay for you while making sure that you're trying to sleep and the fact that you tried to fake sleeping made him roll his eye at you "Really Y/n? Do you think I am an idiot or something?" he reaches over, petting the top of your head lightly "You've been sick for a while, and you need to sleep. So stop acting and get some sleep" honestly, if he needs to use his powers to make you fall asleep, he would! The fact that you were sick, got better, then got resick was annoying to him and he would rather not have to deal with that again, and the fact that you tried to act like you were sleeping annoyed him. Did you really think that he was that stupid? It's easy to tell if a human is really sleeping or not!
Killer: He might not even notice at first but when he wakes up, and you're not in the bed with him or not asleep, and you don't look like you've been sleeping, he's honestly going to feel a little upset. Why are you doing this? Do you just not like to sleep, or something? That's why you're sick Y/n! You need rest. He'll most likely pull you into the bed with him again, grumbling under his breath and move to lay on top of you. Luckily he's pretty light, and he tells you that he'll get off once you agree to sleep, otherwise, you're going to have to deal with him laying on you. Nightmare gave him the day off to take care of you, and he is going to use it to make sure that you're feeling better, and there's nothing you can do to stop him.
Dusty: He is the one that's the most bothered by the fact that you were sick, then got better, then got sick right on over again. If you try to fake being asleep, and he finds out, then he's going to stay awake and keep an eye on you to make sure that you get to sleep. He can't trust you to sleep, and he doesn't want you to end up dying or something because of your sickness! Even if it's just the common cold, or something, it's still worrying and he wishes that you would just get sleep without trying to sneakily fake sleeping. It really bothers him.
Axe: You can pretend to sleep all you want, Axe can tell if you're pretending or for real sleeping, and either way, he'll hold onto you and nuzzle you, purring softly. He'll hold onto you until you fall asleep for real, or until you rest for a while. He hates the fact that you got sick. He gets sick pretty often because of his low level of magic, just skeleton sicknesses, and human sicknesses are different, and you show yours much more than he would. If you try to pretend to sleep then leave the bed, good luck, he's holding onto you tight enough that if you're able to, somehow, get out of his arms, you'll wake him up and he would ask what you're doing. Just get some sleep, you silly weirdo.
Error: If you're going to fake being asleep, don't. They can easily tell if you're awake or not, and they don't care if you want to sleep or not. It's your body, if you want it to be sick for a long time they won't force you to rest but they really do think that you should sleep. If you can deal with their disapproving looks and slight sounds "So yOu gOiNg t-t-tO Ju-jUsT GeT U-Up?" they know how to make you feel guilty for not wanting to sleep, and they will use it against you because they don't want to deal with you being sick for too long. Humans are squishy creatures and it could kill you. So knock it off.
#Bad Sanses#Nightmare#Nightmare Sans#Killer#Killer Sans#Dusttale#Dusty#Dusttale Sans#Horrortale#Horrortale Sans#Axe#Error#Error Sans#undertale multiverse#undertale imagines#undertale alternate universe#undertale ask blog#undertale alternate timeline#utmv
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I noted some hcs/event facts down overtime so now I'll just copy and paste them here
I read the translated event stories on wattpad by @akarisukaii TYSM FOR YOUR SERVICE 💖💖💖
Headcanons
- All, if not most, servants there have been helped by the head of the mansion (Oswald from Asclepios, Kurt from his
parents).
That's why no matter how scary Kaim can be, they all stay. I mean not be they have nowhere else to go, or they're forced to- but bc they feel a sense of gratitude and are paying back their favor. Kinda like found family 🥲
This also explains why they are understaffed (at least in the lower ranks of servants)
- Kaim's route: Was the carriage that almost killed MC random, or did Mefy definitely send it lol
- DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THE FIRST UNIVERSES WHEN LUCAS DIDNT KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON?
Levy: MC dying from Torulnaha [MONSTER FLOWER] because Lucas wasnt there to warn him
Kaim: MC being captured by Noel in the forest OR MC already signing the contract be Lucas didn't give him the map
(lmk other routes in which Lucas helped MC be those 2 are the only instances I remember rn)
Facts from event stories
- Levy's story in the " I Am Your Master" event implied that Kaim's family has served Lucia's.
It's from a translation so I'm not sure it's 100% accurate (or if Kurt was joking) BUT THAT'S THE CRUMB OF BACKSTORY I GET FOR KAIM SO I'M CHERISHING IT
- KAIM PEELS FRUIT FOR A SICK LUCIA and used to make apple puree for Levy when he was younger as a treat when he's sick [BATH TIME EVENT]
I noted it down somewhere that he peeled apples for a sick Levy but I can't find which event in happened in rn, so I'm guessing that was my hc? I thought it did happen but maybe it was my imagination...
- Mikael's only confirmed family member is a distant male relative
- Angels specialise in astrology more than demons
- Valentines day isn't a thing in Nightmare
- Lucia befriends a wild and violent horse
- Kurt frequently breaks plates
- Ricardo's least favourite food is fish (he can eat it when served, but he doesn't prefer it) (And he also only likes MC's fish)
- Noel usually just buys things that the shopkeeper recommends—HE'S SO CUTE
- NOEL RIPS PAGES OUT OF BOOKS (BOOK LOVERS, HIDE YOUR COLLECTION FROM HIM)
- Noel can easily see in the dark
- The tertelboshi is a flower mentioned twice in an event (In Levy and Noel's events). It resembles a teruterubozu and indicates the end of rain by deflating its petals. Unfortunately, it's an extinct species, now rare. There is also another flower which is similar but smaller in size.
- Lucia planned to scare Kaim by hiding in his closet and jumpscaring him. His plan failed and Kaim lectured Lucia and MC from night to sunrise (he probably sacrificed his sleep time doing that LOL)
- Halloween is "Halowen" in Nightmare but the customs are similar
- Official MC is an only child with only a mother and father
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All I know is if whoever I end up with doesn’t look at me the same way Sam looks at Colby.
i know. they look at one another with such admiration and love. and respect.
i know this is such a side tangent, but i've been wanting to talk about it, and this is a nice place to just take attention away from colby having cancer, even if it's just for a moment.
there is this youtuber that i watch, kennie jd. highly recommend her, she's super funny and does movie reviews. anyway, a couple months back she said that she believes that if someone is a cheater, that what they did is borderline evil. and while that is a possible crazy remark to make, she made the valid point that to cheat on someone you not only taking their loyalty and trust in your relationship with you and putting it in the trash - but you are disrespecting them on all fronts.
and i came to the realization that there are a lot of ppl that can love their partner, but that does not mean they respect them. especially serial cheaters, or ppl that outwardly can't seem to just not cheat on whatever partner they have and constantly have to have side chicks or dicks lol
like my parents met each other when they were in school. they weren't technically hs sweethearts but they also were. they met, and immediately started dating. never broke up, never separated, never cheated. they made a promise, and fucking meant it, that they would never cheat on each other. that if they ever fell out of love or wanted to be with someone else, they would breakup and spare the hurt that cheating would cause. and that's bc not only did they love each other, but they respected one another.
and while my parents fought, and i saw how ugly it could get at times, they never broke up. not when my mom got sick (which is usual when men cheat), not when my dad got sick, not when my mom got sick again, and not when my dad was literally dying. there was never a time either one of them lost respect for one another.
and with all of this... how the fuck am i supposed to go out there and date???? like, the dating pool rn sucks ass. most dudes are, at the bare minimum, assholes and the top level wouldn't date me anyway bc i don't fit the aesthetics of what they want a woman to look like (or are like extremely sexist/racist/homophobic that a) i wouldn't date them anyway and b) they would most likely assault me in one way or another)
like idk if i'll ever date. i probably will at some point. but i just wanted to vent and make that point that ppl can love you, but that doesn't mean they respect you. which is why you have to strive to have that in your relationship, regardless of what it is.
#ask#personal#colby brock#sam golbach#sam and colby#this really has nothing to do with them except that they both respect each other#and that alone is something i love about them so much
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Im autistic & adhd. Also have undiagnosed physical health issues which been acting up lately. Really not doing well, need help. Currently in shutdown, include verbal shutdown. And struggling type, forgive grammar plz. Need help & support, but is none. Don’t know what do. Everything feel impossible. Long vent under cut.
Want run away, somewhere no one can find. Somewhere quiet & alone, with internet & tv so can watch comfort shows, play comfort games, etc. But will turn off phone, or get new number, or just block all family except younger sister on everything, or something, idk. Want comfy bed & comfy chairs & good temperature control & good food, and just quiet & solitude. Preferably somewhere out in nature. Let everyone figure out their own shit without me. Can’t do this anymore. ONLY things keeping me from doing are younger sister & lack of money. Mom & twin sister need figure shit out on own, can’t handle anymore. Can’t do.
Dont have a job or any money at all, literally only have $5 (and well over $20k in credit card debt, in collections). Am in autistic burnout & have been for nearly 3 years now. Had quit job in May cuz burnout so bad. But still expected take care of entire family.
Live with dad & twin sister (will call twin). Dad extremely NT & able bodied, dont understand me/twin at all. Knows nothing about autism/adhd & unwilling to learn. Pays bills & does chores so that is helpful, but not willing do any other support. Doesn’t believe in mental health.
Mom & younger sister (will call younger) live with grandma. Younger is 12 yrs younger, i basically raised. Feel almost more like parent than sister. Also is best friend & person i care most about in world, would die for her. Hate seeing her suffer. Twin & younger both also autistic & adhd, and neither have job. Grandma has moderate (bordering on advanced) dementia & need 24/7 supervision & support. Younger currently has busted knee, on crutches & really struggling & lot of pain. Mom refusing to believe is as bad as is, thinks younger is exaggerating, barely helping her. Ive been having drive over nearly daily to help. Mom had multiple strokes 2 years ago, still has both cognitive & physical challenges as result, & just lost job. Mom almost deffo undiagnosed autistic/adhd but refuses to believe. Doesnt believe younger is either (she still undiagnosed, me & twin formal diagnosed recently). Mom never great person, but got much worse after strokes, is mean & bordering on verbally abusive to us (and is DEFFO verbal abusive to grandma). Also has horrible memory & cognitive issues, doesnt understand things correctly, half of what she says doesn’t make sense, makes helping her hard.
Twin sick rn, lots of stomach issue & pain. Found out few months ago has enlarged spleen, but no answer yet, cant see specialist til Dec. Twin also has medical anxiety, so hard to know for sure what is real & what isnt. Every day twin ask me for MULTIPLE favors; get things for her, do things for her, etc. Also get MULTIPLE txts every day complaining about not feeling well, yet she refuse go doctors. Counted once a few days ago: in 11 hour period, asked for 7 favors & texted 13 times about pain.
Even when not sick tho, twin basically never help. Feels like she think I “less disabled” than her, not true. I doing horribly and still have take care everyone else while she sits on couch play video games & ask me to bring her things. No one ever bring ME things. Twin NEVER return favor no matter how bad I do/how well she do. One sided only.
Today twin ask for SO MANY THINGS, CONSTANTLY. Doesnt seem to care that I not doing well either & just CANNOT handle, keeps asking anyway. I tell her how bad am doing & immediately she ask for more favors. Won’t shut up about how sick she is (feeling very “wrong” w/stomach issues, has enlarged spleen but don’t know why yet & is worried that is cause), and says she is NOT OK, and that something is VERY wrong & she is worried she is dying, but also won’t get her ass to ER. Also expect /ME/ take her AND go in with, if decides go. Told her has to ask mom or dad first. Now just won’t go, and instead just keep complain to me about how bad doing & keep asking for help with stuff.
On top of that, am constant worried about all shit mom needs to do: get grandma house in her name so can keep (rn bank gets when grandma dies due to 2nd mortgage or something idk, which will make mom & younger homeless), get grandma car in her name (mom hasnt had own car in like 6+ yrs, just uses gma’s), figure out her unemployment (applied but no check yet cuz needs submit weekly proof of job applications & doesnt know how), get guardianship for grandma (mom never even got power of attorney, and is too late now cuz grandma cant understand to sign, so rn we just stuck cuz grandma not capable make decisions, but legally we cant make for her either), update her resume, get help for grandma, etc. Most of it fall to me. Mom kind of person who just WILL NOT do things, no matter how much help u give (ex: was trying get her accommodations for her job after strokes so wouldnt lose job. Explained process multiple times, both verbally & in writing. Figured out who she needed contact for help & wrote out email for her, ALL she had do was copy & paste & send email. Didnt do it. Now fired cuz couldnt keep up w/out accommodations). Mom also no longer even ask for help, just tells us we are doing. Ex: said to me “I’m going to come over tomorrow so you can help me do my job searches for unemployment.” Just tells me I’m doing it, not even ask. Sick of it. Grandma have dementia, at point where cannot even shower or wash hands, we have no support at all, doing everything ourselves. ADRC says only way to get grandma help is to put lien on her house & sell to pay off when she dies, but mom & younger live with grandma so that would make them homeless once she dies. Says we can’t even get occasional respite care unless give up house, let alone regular in home care.
Just can’t handle anymore. Feel like am being broke into thousand pieces, or crushed by thousand lb weights. Feel stuck. Feel like no choices, no good options, no way out. Want run away. Want take younger & her cat & find cabin in woods somewhere & just go run away from everything/everyone else. But can’t, no money. Feel so stuck. No help. No support. Don’t know what do.
#will probably delete this later but rn feel stuck & DESPERATE for help/ideas/suggestions#vent#autism#adhd#rant
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okay im having existential thoughts and wanting to do some ... less than ideal things rn BUT i just remembered what i broke down over at work today
staff member was introducing me to her mum who also works there and just got back after ages off sick. anyway. she introduced me as 'shy and very reserved. and very quiet.' and there was another staff member there who i've also worked with and she said 'yeah very shy.' and i just??? i short circuited rather because one of the things i hate about the way i am at work is how pushy and overbearing and arrogant i am bc i think i know damn near everything, or something like that. which i obviously dislike.
but??? my coworkers say im shy and reserved and quiet???
whut???
and while i was processing all that (while feeding a resident who was fortunately Not looking at me at the time and everybody else was occupied, just as well bc i was over there crying) i remembered a song i loved as a child and haven't heard possibly for literal years
copying the full lyrics from google, though at the time i only remembered the last couple of lines and the first three quarters of the first verse:
How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
and anyway i was repeating that veryvery softly to myself for the rest of my shift and every time i got to 'make a wretch his treasure' i couldn't actually finish the sentence out loud
#so yeah idk#personal#catkin rambles#work#and now im just worn out and tired and all idk#and wnating hugs. i have ransom on my lap tho. but i want hugs that will Fix
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I'm a Pagan and I agree with the other anons - there's nothing wrong with writing about gods. I personally might not like it but it isn't out of the ordinary even in the realm of the traditional practices of polytheism. Iirc it was Hinduism that had some priestesses have a more sexual relationship with the god they were devoted to? So like...yeah.
Uff, I let those asks steam in my askbox for a bit, sorry ‘bout that I actually got a little sick the last few days LOL
I think sexuality is very much woven into every culture/religion/etc. but I think the anon was most upset about making gods “evil” (??? I am assuming here) through applying yandere, which, newsflash, I still don’t care about and I don’t go to blogs and tell them to purify their gods either when the real stories of these gods are... questionable. Anyhow. Someone always gets offended, it’s not that big of a deal anymore. I just thought it was cool to meet actual practicing pagans! (And I admit I was in a bit of a mood over that hate anon especially.) I personally don’t have a good relationship with norse mythology due to trauma, but the greek gods will always be very dear to me (:
Anyhow, thank you guys for reaching out, it’s really okay now and thank you for reading the stuff you enjoy and are comfortable with ^^
I admittedly been reading just a fuckton of omegaverse books rn. No details as to why, but research. And I found this one called Pack Darling (Part 1) by Lola Rock which somewhere towards the last few chapters actually used the word yandere to to describe one character (he’s a bit feral ♥ I say that adoringly ♥). I do recommend getting both books (part 1 and 2) as a pack because the story will have a massive cliffhanger after book 1 and the story is worth reading and if you don’t have a kindle like I do (yet) it took almost 2 weeks to get the second book and that’s a timespan no one should endure.
If you like omegaverse otherwise, I also really liked Carnage Island by Lexi X. Foss (That author also has some more omegaverse books and I am dying to read them but they are all ebooks so I am waiting for my birthday to get a kindle hrhhrhrhr but they have a series of various standalones with the word Sector in them and those look mighty fine to me!!). Ask me again in a few months and I will have a lot more.
As for the vampire. Now, here’s the thing. For reasons I am not going into details for, I haven’t read any vampire ones... yet. See it as me keeping my pallet clean. I keep seeing the promotions on tiktok so I am just heavily influenced, hence my comment about vampires, but once I get around to actually read them, I’ll make a post with recommendations for you ♥
Something else to keep you busy till then:
Fated Mates of the Sea Sand Warlords by Ursa Dax
Honestly the best alien books out there and the series is 13 books long so far and not yet over and every one of them is more glorious than the last.
And my absolute favorite book with Naga:
Naga Brides Series by Naomi Lucas
All not what you asked for but they absolutely deserve a read, I am not lying.
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Rory I am in my tobias and eva FEELS RN
Cat's story seems SUPER sketch
Like his mom was 'hysteric', which is obviously 19th century language for queer mentally ill and being abused, and his dad was a 'hard man', cough cough abusive
And no one expected Eva and Tobias to get married, so they obviously eloped which would definitely piss off their parents who were high standing member of the clave (perhaps enough to plan something devious)
Now the real reason her story doesn't make sense
1) the clave FORCED him, and 4 others, to go to bavaria and leave his sick and ill wife to go fight powerful warlocks. The reason I say this doesn't make sens because why would the clave send someone from london to germany for a mission? Why not ask people from the german institutes or the institutes that are actually close to bavaria? More importantly why would they chose Tobias, the weakest and kindest herondale, to go and not his older brother William, who was said to be the best fighter of his generation?
2) only 1 of the other 4 men survived and told everyone Tobias deserted. First off, how would he know that Tobias fled and didn't just go chasing a demon? Also the guy said that Tobias was frightened because he was worried about his wife and kid? Yeah? He just watched 3 people get murdered why the fuck wouldn't he be scared of not being able to go home to his wife? Why would the clave be mad at him for that reason only? He was the youngest and worst fighter there. Did they want Eva to become a widow and raise their child alone?
3) HOW THE FUCK DID CAT KNOW THE EXACF DETAILS OF WHAT HAPPENED IN THE FOREST. She said that she ran into him in the woods and he was too far gone to be saved. However she knew that Eva was going to be executed in the stead of Tobias. He was just going to die anyway since he was stuck in bad dreams of his wife dying and not being able to eat or drink, so why didn't she bring him to the clave so Eva and the baby would be saved? And why was she so willing to take Eva's baby?
Theory time✨️
In the early 1810s Felix Blackthorn and Tobias' dad convinced the Inquisitor to look the other way when they buried Anabel alive. Consorting with a downword was a sentence for outcast, but having a child with one meant traitoring and was met with death.
What if Anabel and Malcolm stole the Black Book so they could have a child. Eva's parents are never mentioned, even though Cat supposedly knows them well. Eva was executed in 1828
Anabel was born in 1793 at the earliest and was 19 at the earliest when she died, that places her death at 1812. It's entirely possible she had a baby with Malcolm, and then her father and Tobias' father killed her.
Now after extensive research, I found out that shadowhunters in the 1800-1950s got married at an average age of 16 for girls and 17 for boys. Which means the timeline for Eva being Anabel's child makes sense as she would've be 16 at the earliest and almost 18 at the latest
Also, why would Tobias and Eva's marriage shock their parents? If Felix is close with Tobias' dad, then why would they be against it? Maybe because his dad doesn't want him to marry a half blood? Or because he doesnt want his weakling, probably mentally ill and queer like his mom, to get out of his control? Or because her dad wants to control her and he can't if she's married?
Now we all know half warlocks half shadowhunters don't have marks, but they do have magic.
So my theory is that Eva Blackthorn is Malcolm Fade and Anabel Blackthorn's child, who when she married Tobias discovered she had magic. She confronted her 'father' and he tells her the truth, so she makes a plan to tell and meet Malcolm
So Felix conspires with Mr. Herondale and they go to the Inquisitor to send Tobias on a suicide mission then convince the whole enclave that Eva should be killed in his stead
Maybe that's why Roland could do magic and why Malcolm would hang around and give Kit treats and tell him stories
But that's just a theory
A heavily researched informed theory
This is a very interesting concept and I would be very interested in watching it develop even further. I do feel like the Eva and Tobias story has something off about it myself, and this does seem to check the boxes that don’t make sense about it,
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STOMACH ISSUES?! bestie WE ARE THE SAME! I sadly have stomach problems too lol But Im glad that it wasn't anything too serious and that you feel better! Let's hope you won't get sick because it's already a bit tragic with the period lol oh don't even get me started on allergies!
I may have a controversial opinion but I feel like we should bring back skinny jeans!! of course people are allowed to wear whatever they want and it shouldn't matter if it's it trendy but I kinda miss seeing it more lol What sports did you play? I don't think you've mentioned that before but if you did im sorry! But it sucks that you did have some form of damage :( But wedges are cute! they are definitely more comfortable! I feel the same way about platform shoes/heels like idk something about it makes me feel so GOOD! If i could even wear a cute little mary jane heel everyday I would be happy lol But i can't do that due to walking way too much and I REFUSE to use an electric scooter on campus lol
Being a dentist is wild bc i could not do what they do 😭
My TA is still hot lol Didn't see him as much this week because our classes were cancelled due to the professor being out of town :( But ugh Sam he's so attractive like he's just existing and walking around lecture when we have to talk in groups and he just looks so 😵💫 My friend in that class pointed out that he has a nice nose which i once again DIDNT EVEN NOTICE 😭 so theres more evidence for my nose thing apparently 😔
YES TO SHOPPING!!!! Enjoy your weekend my love, you deserve it and more💗 I love you!-💜
SO I spent $180 and saved $130 which is honestly not that great in my opinion but could have been worse. I once got a pair of American Eagle jeans for $0.01 and I’ve been trying to achieve that high ever since.
I don’t have horrible stomach issues fortunately (my sister took that on for me thankfully 😅) I’m more of a headache girly lol. Every day at 3pm like clockwork. Is it head trauma or from teaching teens all day?? We’ll never know (it’s teaching). But my stomach is very sensitive sometimes (I think it’s hormones). Speaking of, no illness it’s just my period rn right on cue, first day of break ✌🏻
Omg please I hope they come back around I’m not exactly a petite lady so I can’t with the flare/boot cut jeans. They make me look so rectangular (more than I already am), short, and frumpy that’s why I like skinny jeans so much 😂
I love shoes I don’t even care what kind they’re so fun and I think they can pull a whole outfit together. It’s def wedge season now so I’m very excited about that. When I was a child I rocked a tutu and patent leather and Mary Jane’s for about a whole year of my life. It was the last time I wore them and I think cute little Mary Jane’s would be so fun for me now (but seem a little wintry so I’ll wait till the fall) ☺️ I love that for you and don’t blame you at all. There will be time when you get your career and you can wear Mary Jane’s everyday! I can’t imagine the electric scooter I would cry 🤣 I miss that most about college: all the walking. It was so nice (except in the snow/rain) but when it was nice it was cool everything was close by and walkable (I grew up in a rural-ish area so you had to drive to get anywhere).
I wasn’t full blown tomboy but my dad instilled Boston sports in my blood. I played soccer, softball, and volleyball for major periods of time in my life. Soccer was my favorite but ruined my ankles :( I loved fielding but hated batting in softball. Volleyball was by far the most fun but I wasn’t very good. I enjoyed back row. I love watching most sports 💕 I can cheer on any team the bar has a consensus of rooting for when I go out 🤣
I’m dying about the nose. But I love that for you 💕 I hope you get to see him more in the coming week. I think I would swoon if he walked by me during class being attractive AND smart. I used to be a TA actually. I don’t think any of them thought I was hot but to be fair who would ever like the weird math nerd 😂 I used to make them review sheets with math puns (Sum-things to Know was how I reviewed the chapter on summations)
I LOVE YOU
Xoxo
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hi cece how are you <33 i was wondering if you might be able to direct me to some good juyeon content (visual content, gifs/vids) ?? bc i need a gateway to getting into tbz finally and having seen his face before, i feel like he might be my way in, LOL. he’s just. SO beautiful. also, fave tbz songs/albums ? i think i have finally cleared up enough space in my head to make room for a new boy group, and it might be them. like i need more boys to be totally normal about 🫠 anyways hope your day/night is going good (it’s night here) ! ttyl !!
hiiiii i’m good ^_^ hope ur day was good too!! i had a bunch of rice krispies and feel kinda sick lol but NOREGRETS!!!! and now i am basking in the glow of moderate delulu and thinking thoughts and thinks on how to approach this idea cat has so cleverly stuffed into the crevices of my cranial cavity <3
AND I KNOW RIGHT…… ISNT JUYEON SO [WINDOWS SHUT DOWN NOISESHSHSJ)2/$/&2$1’]
as for how i got into tbz…….. i have cat and rose to thank for that 😭 yk, i myself am still kinda. is grasping a straws the right phrase to use here? i’m still pretty new! but what i like to do just follow a bunch of tags related to them so that they show up on my dash when i least expect it (which is why i’m reblogging a lot of hongjoong lately lol……. demon man 😵💫) but that’s pretty much it like. content wise* outside of their music. for me at least since i’m still digging a deeper hole myself 😭 but as for their MUSIC……..
their music is so [incoherent dying noises] do u get me…….. my ultimate fave song rn is definitely salty (beating kevin up i hate him he’s supposed to not be flirting w anyone vocally like that how dare he) and that’s from the reveal album !! which btw………………… what the fuck is that entire album laced with oh my god.??/?: listen to that and if u come back in one piece with ur sanity intact i commend u for having the wills of a god. the chaser album is so good too btw….. my fave off that one is the stealer (the piano intro i’m sorry oh my god—but let me stop before i melt into the floor)
ALSO I SAID THIS BEFORE BUT. mariah carey’s career is OVER the boyz r IN christmassy is the cutest fucking song i’ve ever heard in my life. all i want for christmas is DEAD it’s OVER (this is joke for legal reasons people get rlly defensive over that song pls don’t come for my head or life thank u—)
i also just. pinterest surf for hours bc time is a concept my brain simply refuses to keep with like. i will literally just pinterest surf for HOURS (i swear that’s how i learned most of their names) also watched a LOT of introductory videos just to get a feel of their individual personalities….. like this one on jacob and this one on juyeon plsim squeezinf them both so tight i’ll cry
(*content wise tho i’ve started watching their lil youtube series called stealer house if i’m not mistaken? it’s cute ^_^)
#cece’s inbox ♡#ALSO they used to be 12 members but if i remember correctly one left the group for mental health reasons (?)#so if u see them as 12 in earlier things and not 11 then that’s why!
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LOL sorry omg i really died. like am still dying. i spent all day yesterday crying over my coursework and shit but i talked to that guy and he really knocked some sense into me and told me to not be so hard on myself... so now im crying internally and not externally 😭
ive been thinking about it now and i think i might switch majors for the sake of my sanity bc real talk the amount of work is insane and i cant properly function it's crazy out here idk how people do this... i was thinking maybe health sci since i already have most of the credits for the degree and ive always wanted to be involved in the healthcare field... im gonna see my academic advisor on monday and see what they say because holy guacamole i want to be able to enjoy school w/o crying every time i think about it
omg that got long but those have been my thoughts for the past few days BUT ANYWAY that's so good!!!! im so happy for you big brain energy we love to see it!! ive got a biochem midterm this week (which is the cause of my mental breakdowns BUT KLSJFRG) and ochem is in 2 weeks but as i said might change majors and ochem is not necessary... so i'll prob drop it haha
the last season was so good. i found it a bit slow in the beginning but once it picks up it's going like i could not stop watching it!! i havent watched bcs but i heard it gets better near the end again?? ive watched el camino tho
that's how i felt abt crocheting at first like im the type of person to try something for a little bit and then give up right after but honestly!!! it's so fun because you can make all kinds of different things like clothing, bags, accessories and it's so fun!! i've been picking up knitting too and i've made some socks and i'm working on a sweater rn
WOIEFJWE that man is so wonderful like i feel like he really understands me and !!!!!!!!!!! i feel like he really balances out the "negative" parts/thoughts of me and is so reassuring IM WHIPPED LOL
omg yes i had a bad cold too like a week ago (no covid as well) and i think i might be good now knock on wood!! what a slay im glad your classes are going so well for you! i dont follow hockey (gasp) but i can see the thrill of it!! hopefully they can win the next game!
highly enjoyed the break. have a great weekend too!! <3
-mightychondria
no no no worries lol i totally get being busy and everything <33
but omg :[[ im sorry that school has been so overwhelming and stressful for you aaaaa yeah if its at the point where you're upset everyday and completely overwhelmed and don't like school then i definitely agree w changing your major.... you don't want the rest of your life to be like this lol health science would be interesting for sure !! there are so many ways to be involved in health care and the health system without being a doctor/nurse/etc so im sure you'll be able to find something that works !!
?!*%*$???($*@)? you're taking ochem AND biochem at the same time ?!!?($*@)@ i understand the breakdowns wtf id lose it fr but lol fingers crossed changing your major works out so that you don't have to take that ochem exam
fr i definitely understand why breaking bad is considered like one of the best shows of all time ... the writing was so good and the story was so compelling and even when it got to the point where you were like 'wtf thats sick and messed up' you couldnt stop watching bc you were in so deep lol but !! ive yet to watch el camino ... hmmm
oooo man thats so cool !! you're so right like i always see crochet tutorials on tiktok for like the most random things ever and you can make like. anything. its amazing. hehe maybe ill try it out once i have more free time :]
YAAAYYY FOR THE MAN!! im glad that he's good for you :] its very nice that he's sticking w you through all of your stress and helping you out!! hehe have yall gone on any fun dates or are you just ~talking~ ?
tis the time of year for colds lol this one i think is just about done ... my cough is significantly better today but i can't decide if its actually better or if its just bc i havent been talking today .... lol ig ill see tomorrow! KFLJDSKFJ [gasp] a canadian that doesn't follow hockey ... an incredible find ... hehehe im joking but yes fr hockey is so crazy compared to other sports like even though its kinda like soccer its still so different and sooooo entertaining to me lol ty for the support for my team they definitely need it [muffled through fake coughing] they're bad [more fake coughing]
yay! i hope this week of classes goes better! tyyyy <3 <3 <3
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rebecca watches tos: journey to babel
ok ik which episode this is, it’s the one where spock’s parents are on the enterprise
I love how the episode description says Amanda is a Vulcan
I’ve never seen so many redshirts in one place
why is bones having so much trouble with the vulcan salute, it’s not exactly complicated
jim really just introduced spock to his own dad huh
and I love how neither of them even objected to this, they were both just like “Yes We Have Never Met >:|”
“ambassador sarek and his wife are my parents” *DRAMATIC MUSIC*
did spock just decide it was logical to not mention that the people being transported raised him
this situation is peak comedy my god
“you still haven’t learned to smile” yeah I don’t think your son does that (unless his bf is unexpectedly alive ofc)
jeez we know where spock got the bitchiness from
eighteen years??? bc spock joined starfleet?????? seems like an emotional reaction
I understand that in theory Starfleet uses force as only a last resort but also a redshirt dies in every episode so like
damn there’s a lot of different species aboard rn
why do vulcans know numbers so precisely, is that just a universal vulcan trait
wtf is that pig thing
a tellarite
bones immediately goes to asking for embarrassing stories of spock. love him
I fully support baby Spock and his giant dangerous teddy bear
wtf is that up ahead
“he is a vulcan” “he’s also human” are neither of you going to ask him what he thinks about this subject
so is the two-fingers thing a vulcan display of affection? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen people say it is
they keep encountering people going at warp 10+ but that’s Not A Thing
tellarites look so fucking weird my god
listen dude sarek is Not going to answer you and continually asking him isn’t logical
oh nvm he answered
christ these people want nothing more than to murder each other don’t they
damn rip tellarite
put your shirt back on jimothy
I love how Spock is just like “yeah it would probably have been a vulcan, yeah my father could easily have done it”
Why do people keep calling Amanda “Mrs. Sarek,” isn’t Sarek his personal name
is sarek having a heart attack rn
spock is very chill about dad having a heart attack
ok so someone is dead, someone else is maybe dying, and someone on the ship is communicating with a strange vessel. things are not going well huh
“there was nothing you could have done” yeah well she’s your wife, she still deserves to know!
ok idk how they plan to get enough blood for sarek
“I would estimate the odds—” “please don’t” amanda is a mood
spock taking this drug seems illogical but it seems like a vulcan can do any level of mental gymnastics to make anything logical
and meanwhile, jim’s being stabbed by an andorian in the galaxy’s most badly choreographed fight scene
and down he goes
damn spock changed his mind real fast
what is that accent the andorian has
spock. spock please. spock your dad is dying
baby spock got bullied :(
man this scene hurts
why doesn’t the door open when spock stands near it, does it know when someone wants to leave and when they’re being angsty
man this is what we gotta do to get spock to save dad huh
spock stop thinking about science things in the middle of your dad’s lifesaving surgery
there goes the antenna
honestly I’m not even interested in the A-plot so much as I am in the Vulcan family drama
this cannot be a good environment to perform surgery in
oh great now they don’t have power
ohhh it was a fake antenna, I just thought the effects were bad
alright, the enemy I didn’t really care about is down
kirk was like “let’s see if they want to surrender” and then they just go boom
and there goes the fake andorian
everyone on the enterprise is so difficult (except uhura) I love them
“I’m sick to death of logic” ma’am you married a vulcan
bones is definitely enjoying having the power here lmao
great episode!
#star trek#star trek tos#star trek the original series#star trek liveblog#star trek tos liveblog#star trek the original series liveblog#liveblogging#journey to babel
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i think i joined this fandom at literally the worst possible time.
this post has been a long time coming but i am currently irritated enough to actually post it so here we go
(under the cut because this just got WAY too long)
personally i'm here for the art, the angsty headcanons, the jokes and fic recs... but the negativity continues to run rampant. i want to see different ideas and interpretations but... it's like there isnt even room for that anymore.
being in fandom has always been a very strange experience for me because i don’t enjoy conflict. i don't mind that other people like it, but for me, it makes me feel sick to my stomach and if i can't fix it i have to avoid it. there always seems to be parts of fandom that love to argue, but it's usually not too difficult to sort through it all and find some people i enjoy interacting with. and i'd just find my little corner and stick to that. but lately... that doesn't seem possible.
and the few of the more chill areas of the fandom (that i've come across) revolve around shipping. which still has the usual discourse, don't get me wrong, but they also seem to stay in their pockets of people and ignore most of the other kinds of drama.
unfortunately for me, i dont have the desire to interact with shipping most of the time. so i'm stuck in this weird limbo that... is too long of a detour for this post so i'll leave it at that.
at this point i see so many conversations, even light hearted meta posts quickly turn to arguments. actual conversations and discussions are a rarity. people spend more time making fun of each other than actually discussing the material. the different 'sides' of the fandom seem to get further and further away and it seems like sharing a differing opinion is impossible. I know plenty of people love to argue but like.... first of all- okay, I really don’t care (tbch I didn’t even finish watching the show because it wasn't my thing) and i dont care to see it.
personally I think some of the concepts from the show are neat- even though i don't have a desire to finish watching it at this time- and applied to fic could be fun. but even that has become such a divisive topic.
putting that aside, I get that people are upset about the show. but sometimes i see posts from both so-called 'anti' and 'positive' sides of the fandom mocking each other. and at this point? what is this achieving?
~and there's just too much to rant about in one post so i'll just zero in on one very specific type of post that is currently bothering me~
i really hate to see people making fun of each other, especially behind their backs. (i want to point out: there's a huge different between 'this hc makes no sense and here's why i think it's wrong' and 'wow look at what these idiots think'. i'm not talking about the first one or general discourse rn, which is a whole other topic)
if one feels the need to repost something because they know OP wouldn't want to see it on their post... shouldn't that make one stop and think for a moment? there's zero constructive purpose for mocking someone, especially on a public platform where they could see it.
vagueposting doesn't always bother me, but sometimes i think... if you're really dying to talk about this, wouldn't it be more fitting as a private conversation?
and every time a post like that come across my dash, it makes me angry and uncomfortable and it's not even about *me* or something i relate to. why does one feel the need to do that? why do i have to see posts like this every week? and why is it encouraged and perpetuated as so many chime in with agreements? i guess it might feel cathartic in the moment, but is it really going to make anyone feel better? is it really worth it to push someone else down just for a few seconds of amusement?
and if something upsets you i get making your own meta (or rant) post about it. there's plenty of hc that upset me as well. but again, there is a HUGE difference from that and making a post, not about the actual topic and hoping for a discussion, but purely with the intent to mock someone.
and you know the worst part? a lot of the ones i see making these posts are the same people that complained about 'toxic positivity' fans mocking the fans that didn't like the show. and now they're turning around and acting the exact same way.
this is just my viewpoint and i don't expect anyone to agree with me on any of these points. and maybe there's some nuance to these posts i'm missing out on or i'm making this into a bigger deal than it is, but at this point intent is pretty much irrelevant (for me) because this continues to taint my experiences with the fandom.
#yes hi hello i'm still thinking about this#not to be 'can we just all get along' but like... can we deal with things we don't like just a little bit better?#this post goes in circles and probably is only halfway coherent#anyways there's no point to this post i'm just sad and annoyed#I just deleted a draft about this from september but nope I still want to talk about this#i dont know what to tag this so it doesnt show up in the search results lol#but at the same time i want people to start using some common sense#i try to curate my experience but GHH it's EVERYWHERE#look i like fandom as an escape from real-life. i dont need MORE drama#for this reason#it's been years since i've been involved in fandom at all#maybe i've just been disconnected from the internet for too long but i dont remember it being this bad?#this started as a broad topic and suddenly became really specific... whoops#personal#back on my soapbox#there's only a few blogs i follow that i havent seen involved in this stuff which is ;-;#and sometimes complaints are well-founded! but this pointless mocking is really grating on me#im just babbling at this point but i needed to get this off my chest
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