marie ann calico is so manic panic cattail coded

credit: @dylanmulvaney on instagram

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

Experienced several previously undiscovered emotions today because my (conservative) mom said being gay is a choice because SHE likes women too but she simply chooses not to acknowledge it

i always think abt my cousin in greece who's like obsessed with american culture, bc ill say that im going to a barbecue and she'll be like "wow.... a real life american barbecue... will there be red cups?" you bet your ass there'll be red cups. take my hand. have a hot dog. all your dreams can come true here at the real life american barbecue

there are 2 kinds of mangaka when drawing: the ones that hate woman and the ones that love woman

And, guys...

i think ryoko kui really loves woman.

Oh nooo I hadn’t noticed that my cat’s automatic feeder was getting low on food so as usual she dashed off when she heard the machine start but I couldn’t hear the usual sound of her food falling into the bowl so I went to look and my poor cat was just. Sitting there. Staring at her empty food bowl. Then for a second she glanced up at me then right back to her bowl with the biggest, saddest, most bewildered eyes you could ever imagine on such a small creature. I filled her bowl and the machine right away ofc but I still feel a little guilty 😭

Yeah I think you’re in the right place, Al.

bass makes a dollar. i make a dime. that's why i think about lesbian sex on company time

actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.

i cant stop thinking about a post by @possamble so i made this

inspired by this

based on a fanart by BugsGay on twitter

Some wild shit goes on in ppls lives

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

Im fucking sobbing looking at the new black footed cat at Utah's Hogle zoo

Shes just a fucking baby

Baby with a 60% successful kill rate

> mom spilled trace amount of curry powder on the floor

> cool ok ill sweep it up in a sec

> go to the bathroom, come back

> curry powder is suspiciously less

> cat is suspiciously yellow