Hiii cookie bookie pookie bear, I was wondering if you could write for my short king again (lucifer)! Babyboy is short but how will he be with a gf/wife that is shorter than him! Rahh so cute ♡
Lucifer x Shorter S/O! Fem! Reader
Headcanons
warnings: fluff, short people jokes, Lucifer being an emotional dork and lover
words: 664
a/n: sorry for the lack of fics, I've been super busy and have had no motivation recently! Thanks for 300+ followers, I love y'all!
First of all, it's very rare that Lucifer finds anyone shorter than himself, so you'll have to excuse the literal squeal of excitement he emits the moment he sees you
When you first mention your romantic feelings for him, he had a field day
Someone like yourself, being so beautiful AND short, liking HIM?
He swore it was like being back up in Heaven again
Definitely never misses a chance to make a short joke, despite his own height misfortunes
The internet aided him in coming up with originals
"Hey, how's the weather down there?"
"My golly, it really is the little things in life that matter, isn't it darling?
You have attempted to bite his ankles a few times
Don't worry, if his jokes somehow ends up hurting your feelings, he will be quick to apologize and coddle you for the rest of the day
He is usually very ecstatic whenever you ask him to get anything for you off of a high perch; his chest literally swells with pride that he finally has someone who can come to him for that sort of stuff
"Oh, that old thing up there? No worries, my love. Step aside, step aside now."
Ends up having to get the kitchen stool
But by then, more often than not, it ends up with neither of you being able to reach it, not even with the help of his cane or the stool
Results in him having to get either his daughter, or the spider pornstar he usually tried to avoid if possible (mainly result of his intimidations due to his height, but he was a friend of Charlies)
He will physically deflate if he can't fulfill a need/request you have for him; it crushes his spirit
Likes to put his arm on your head whenever he stands next to you
Its a symbol of both his affection for you and his desire to playfully irritate you
Says you make a good armrest
He only got the satisfaction of saying it once though, because you kicked him harshly in the shin after
He thinks you are just the cutest thing when you're mad; he likes seeing you yell at other people, especially Alastor
But if you yell at him instead during these times, he will go wrap himself up in a blanket and have a breakdown on his own time
You wont see him for a good hour or two; he's off sobbing in some random corner
Eventually he will resurface and request your attention, which you gladly provide him with, apologizing and telling him your words were only humor based and not meant to be taken to heart
Lucifer is already such a sensitive soul, he claims you are turning him to mush by just being the cutest thing to ever behold him
He can't fathom the idea of ever making his precious lady mad at him
Loves getting you funny t-shirts and stuff that have short people jokes on them
Almost always insists on being the big spoon when the two of you cuddle
He's finally taller than someone for once in his life, okay?
He gets the chance to feel like he is effectively protecting someone, this time by covering them with his body like a shield; this has never happened before
Let him have this one victory; he feels accomplished, the poor baby
No one can deny that he has tons of fun with you, as he now gets to be the one who feels all high and mighty
Your height is an ongoing topic throughout the relationship
He often forgets that he himself still only stands just above five feet
He once even tried to fight Alastor because you genuinely make him feel like he's a 7ft giant
Safe to say he came back to you with his tail between his legs, feelings hurt, and still a whopping 5,2
But with you, he may as well have been standing on top of the world
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I love these two for various reasons.
First, the restaurant owner has blackout sleeve tattoos.
Beyond that being sexy *bites knuckles*, it's also gangsta.
Which is why he was guarding the entry to his establishment, and only let Qian in but not his schoolmates.
This is also why meeting there bothered Xiong so much.
Because this is a gangsta's restaurant.
Yet later on, we know Xiong frequently visits the restaurant on his own accord, but even more importantly, that he is allowed to visit. It's now a mutual respect.
And this is a gangsta's clinic.
They are NOT a front for gang activity (probably, most likely, maybe?), but a majority of the clientele are gangstas.
Which means these places serve the community and as a safe space for gangstas because they need to trust that the people who make their food and stitch them up won't snitch or try to kill them.
Which is why Zu Guan knew Le Ge was back, and it's why Le Ge was at the restaurant and not his office. He needs to make his presence known, but also, it's a sign of respect to visit the people who held it down while he has been away.
Le Ge knows that Qian doesn't trust him, but there is a level of respect and honor among gangstas, which is why Le Ge trusted the restaurant owner to keep his gun, and it's why the owner was ready to leave it all behind to go with Le Ge knowing full well what Le Ge was planning.
Because he knows that life.
It's also why Le Ge made sure everyone got their shot including himself.
Le Ge stated he doesn't deal drugs, so he probably is in money laundering and reinforcement by offering protection and collection for a fee.
And Qian owes him.
Le Ge gave Qian a legit job, then when Qian needed more money, Le Ge gave him a less legit job. Le Ge not only gave Yuan his name but the official documents to go with that name. Le Ge's clinic fixed Qian and his family up for a nominal fee. Le Ge's restaurant gave Qian the privacy to do business without prying ears. And, yeah, Qian could've died trying to get out, but Le Ge isn't asking anything of anyone else that he, himself, wouldn't do.
And as much as Qian doesn't like or trust Le Ge, he respects him.
Because Le Ge is a man of his word. He doesn't blame others. He takes responsibility. And he keeps his promises.
That's why, unlike A Hu who sees Yuan as Qian's weakness and uses Yuan again to get to Qian, Le Ge understands that Yuan is Qian's strength. It's why he got upset that A Hu took Yuan the first time, and it's why he is pissed when he sees the video A Hu sent him.
When Qian told Yuan he could come home, we understood that Qian was "home" for Yuan. And we understand that Qian's entire life is his family. So Le Ge knows Qian will fight harder for Yuan. Le Ge knows Qian will kill for Yuan. And Le Ge knows Qian would die for Yuan because Qian's life is nothing to him without his family.
Which is why he reminds A Hu that his leg is the way it is NOT because of Qian, but because A Hu underestimated Qian. Le Ge tells A Hu he must take responsibility for his choices and his life.
Because Qian has always taken responsibility for his life.
I'll pay you back. Everything I owe you.
Because his entire life is his family.
Everything I own is yours whether you want it or not
And Le Ge gave him that.
Qian is Yuan's entire life, from beginning to end.
I can sum up my life with two words, Wei Qian
And Le Ge gave them that life love.
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ik everyone says canon percy would kick fanon percy's ass, and i agree, but i'd also like to say that fanon percy is literally canon percy's worst fear.
fanon percy is useless, stupid, and weak. annabeth (at least, fanon annabeth, who i will rant about another day) is clearly too good for him. everyone kinda looks down on him/thinks he's an idiot.
this is exactly what he fears in the series. he hates being useless, being weak, being stupid- he's terrified he won't ever be enough. and he's also terrified that annabeth is too good for him; he even wonders why she's even with him at all. he hates to be treated patronizingly, like he's a child who doesn't understand.
Y'all be goofing off and laughing about fanon percy, not realizing he's exactly the thing canon percy fears and despises the most. the worst version of himself. fanon percy has qualities that canon percy fears he exhibits in himself and hates it.
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One of my favorite parts of phase 2 (and indeed one of the few moments I resonated with IDW Prowl) was when the neutrals were coming back to Cybertron and Prowl said that he refused to let Autobots be pushed aside and overruled after they were the ones who fought for freedom for 4 million years (the exact wording escapes me atm).
And I mean, that resentment still holds true even once the colonists come on bc like. As much as it's true that Cybertron's culture is fucked up, and as funny as it can be to paint Cybertronians as a bunch of weirdos who consider trying to kill someone as a common greeting not important enough to hold a grudge over.... The colonists POV kind of pissed me off a lot of times, as did the narrative tone/implications that Cybertronians are forever warlike and doomed to die by their own hands bc it just strikes me as an extremely judgemental and unsympathetic way to deal with a huge group of people with massive war PTSD and political/social tensions that were rampant even before the war?
Like, imagine living in a society rife with bigotry and discrimination where you get locked into certain occupations and social strata based on how you were born. The political tension is so bad there's a string of assassinations of politicians and leaders. The whole planet erupts into an outright war that leads (even unintentionally) to famine and chemical/biological warfare that destroys your planet. Both sides of the war are so entrenched in their pre-war sides and resentment for each other that this war lasts 4 million years and you don't even have a home planet any more. Then your home planet gets restored and a bunch of sheltered fucks come home and go "ewww why are you so violent?? You're a bunch of freaks just go live in the wilderness so that our home can belong to The Pure People Who Weren't Stupid And Evil Enough To Be Trapped In War" and then a bunch of colonists from places that know nothing about your history go "lol you people are so weird?? 🤣🤣 I don't get why y'all are fighting can't you just like, stop??? Oh okay you people are just fucked up and evil and stupid then" ((their planets are based on colonialism where their Primes wiped out the native populations btw whereas the Autobots and OP in particular fought to save organics. But that never gets brought up as a point in their favor)) as if the damage of a lifetime of war and a society that was broken even before the war can just magically go away now that the war is over.
Prowl fucking sucks but he was basically the only person that pointed out the injustice of that.
And then from then on out most of the characters from other colonies like Caminus and wherever else are going "i fucking hate you and your conflicts" w/ people like literal-nobody Slide and various Camiens getting to just sit there lecturing Optimus about how Cybertronians are too violent for their own good and how their conflicts are stupid, with only brief sympathetic moments where the Cybertronians get to be recognized as their own ppl who deserve sympathy before going right back to being lambasted.
Like I literally struggled to enjoy the story at multiple points because there was only so much I could take of the characters I knew and loved being raked over coals constantly while barely getting to defend themselves or be defended by the narrative so like. It was just fucking depressing and a little infuriating to read exRID/OP
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