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pr0cyon-lotor · 11 months

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Different Languages

Fuh'fin was adjusting to being in the crew nicely. He liked everyone; they were very nice and patient with him. He was also finally getting the hang of facial expressions. He was proud of himself.

He walked along the corridor, weaving past some crew members who greeted him. He greeted them back and continued on. He felt hungry, so he decided to go to the cafeteria to eat something. However, once he got close, he heard yelling. Was someone fighting? He needed to intervene. He was the guard. Why didn't anyone call him?

Fuh'fin picked up his speed and entered the cafeteria. He didn't see weapons drawn or bloodshed. He finally saw who was screaming. It was the captain and Vi-Vi.

Fuh'fin recoiled a bit. They seemed angry, very angry, but they were just yelling. But Fuh'fin couldn't decipher it. His translator didn't pick up what they were saying. It didn't sound like English. What were they saying?

Jenny walked up to him while watching them both yell. No one in the crew seemed bothered. "They're fine; they're just arguing over something petty," Jenny said calmly while looking at them both. "Why isn't the translator picking it up?" Fuh'fin asked, his nose twitching in confusion.

Jenny looked down at him and seemed to think for a second. "Do you have Spanish in your translatable languages?" She said this while crouching down to his level. "Spanish? What's Spanish?" Fuh'fin asked, trying to remember if he should know the word.

Jenny furrowed her brow and brought her hand to her mouth in thought. "How many human languages do you have in your translator?" She settled on asking. Fuh'fin shrank into the ground slightly. "Only the one. English," he answered. "There's more?" He was a bit surprised.

Jenny smiled at him and scratched behind his ear to calm him down. "Many, but English is basically the main one. Everywhere you go on Earth, you'll find at least one English speaker," she said calmly, finally sitting on the floor next to Fuh'fin.

"You're just getting the same experience we are. There aren't many people here that speak Spanish, so we just watch," she said while looking back at the captain and Vi-Vi. Fuh'fin splooted down and watched the two argue. From their body language, he could tell they weren't really mad at each other, but he was still curious what they were saying.

"¡Ay! ¡Sí, porque la sirenita tiene que elegir la música!" Vi-Vi yelled. "Ay, que te calles. ¡Soy el capitán! ¿Es porque no tengo ojo, verdad?" The captain's tone was smug. "¡No tengo un brazo, idiota!" Vi-Vi huffed in irritation.

Fuh'fin enjoyed watching them; it felt like watching a ball be thrown back and forth. He had no idea what was going on, but it didn't look bad. So he didn't have to worry, according to Jenny.

The captain gasped dramatically and covered his mouth. "Es porque soy cubano, no. ¡Eres racista!" He yelled dramatically. "Voy a poner mi bota en tu garganta. ¡Soy media mexicana!" Vi-Vi says this while pinching the bridge of her nose. "¿No completamente? Qué lastima," the captain said with a frown.

Vi-Vi glared at him. "¡No voy a aceptar esto del tipo que quiere coger a mi hermano!" She yelled with a triumphant smirk. The captain's face turned red; he was either embarrassed or flustered. He stuttered a few times before saying in English. "Nuh uh! But you get to pick," he said stubbornly. Vi-Vi grinned in victory.

They both seemingly just noticed Fuh'fin and Jenny sitting next to them. "Hi, guys!" Vi-Vi said cheerfully. The captain lowered his head and calmed down. "Afternoon, how's your day going?" He said calmly. Fuh'fin's tail wagged in amusement. "We're fine." Jenny nodded along.

Vi-Vi looked at Fuh'fin momentarily before looking at the captain with a mischievous grin. "Say, how much did you understand of our little disagreement?" She asked Fuh'fin with a smile. "He doesn't have Spanish in his translator," Jenny answered.

"Aww, boo... But I guess it's for the best," Vi-Vi said with a smile. "Yeah, you curse like a damn sailor," the captain said under his breath. Vi-Vi whipped her head to look at the captain. "What was that?" She said it with a warning tone, daring him to repeat it. The captain stepped forward and loomed over her with a cold expression.

"You. Curse. Like. A. Damn. Sailor." He spoke bluntly. Vi-Vi glared at him with a smile, muttered a curse under her breath, and left. Fuh'fin looked at the captain for answers. Were they actually angry at each other?

The captain noticed Fuh'fin's staring and smiled. "Sorry, I forgot you would take that as a sign of aggression. We're just playing," he said calmly. "You two aren't mad at each other, then?" Fuh'fin said, his nose twitched as he spoke. The captain laughed and said, "No, we're not. Just messing with each other."

"Well, I should get back; I wasted my break yelling at Vi-Vi," the captain said with a sigh. "Don't cause trouble," he said to Jenny and Fuh'fin playfully, and he walked to the door to leave. He nodded at Matthew as he passed him and left.

Fuh'fin's ears twitched. Huh? Did the captain's heartbeat accelerate when he walked past Matthew? Probably a trick of the senses.

Matthew noticed them and walked to both of them calmly. "Ooh~ why are we on the floor?" He spoke with a smile. Fuh'fin had learned not to trust that smile of his. "We were watching Hugo and Vi-Vi argue," Jenny said while looking at him.

Matthew's eyes gained a mischievous glint. "Oh? Who won?" He asked in a light tone. "Vi-Vi, I believe," Fuh'fin responded. Matthew laughed, "Ah, boo. How boring. Shouldn't the captain win arguments?"

"Well, whatever," he said with disinterest. Then he made a gesture Fuh'fin saw some of the longer haired crew members do: throw their hair back over their shoulders. Strange since Matthew's hair was too short for that.

"How long do you guys have left on your breaks?" Matthew asked with the same lethargic smile. "I don't know. Until someone starts screaming or fighting," Fuh'fin said while looking up at him. "I'm hiding until they find out," Jenny replied. "Hah! Me too! Let's sit down; I heard some fun things!" Matthew spoke with a mischievous smile.

Jenny stood up and dusted herself. "Whatcha hear?" She said with a curious smile. Fuh'fin felt his stomach grumble, and he finally stood up. Matthew and Jenny had already sat down at a table. Fuh'fin grabbed a premade lunch bag and joined them. He got comfortable on the bench seat and ate while speaking to them.

Matthew was a gossiper, which meant over half the things he said didn't mean anything to Fuh'fin, but it was background noise while he ate. Jenny was apparently one as well. The mischief in their eyes worried Fuh'fin slightly. He's learned it meant something bad was going to happen. Fuh'fin made a mental note to warn the captain when he had the time.

For now, he finished eating and rested his head on the table while listening to the conversation. These two were concerning when together. It wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on them.

#humans are space orcs #Btw I'm Mexican American so if the Spanish is a little iffy I blame my crackerfication #HASO: The USS Bartholomew

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thetoffeefox · 1 year

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How The Protocol Feels About Gekkos Little Buddies Headcanons

Astra: Absolutely adores every single one of them. No reservations with any of them. She loves being able spend time with them and get to know each of their personalities. She has a soft spot for Dizzy

Breach: Surprisingly he does seem to mind them most of the time. There is this thing where if dizzy gets too excited she sploots on people. Not to mention the same thing with Thrash accidentally detaining the others due to excitement. Between all of them he tottally adores little wingman.

Brimstone: Not to say he dislikes the cute little creatures but hes awkward around them. Given the fact theyre stolen kingdom property and I fully 100% believe the man grew up with out pets he doesn't know how to act with them. Not to mention the time wingman took his laptop hostage.

Chamber: He doesn't hate them, but her certainly doesn't like them much. Between Dizzy splooting on the agents in excitement and wingman being the little clepto guy he is and stealing his teleporter he isn't exactly fond of them.

Cypher: Oh how this man finds these creatures so interesting....but also a bit of a handful. Wingman once again being a clepto and trying to help thinks taking the mans hat is acceptable. Cypher although frustrated still in some ways finds this very endearing and will always be gentle with the little bird like creature.

Fade: Doesn't openly express ot a lot but she loves all of them. Dizzy seems to have wormed her way into the nightmare womans heart due to her general calm personality.

Harbor: Lord have mercy this man is an animal man and although there is nothing else like these little guys he enjoys playing, snuggling, and entertaining them. Hes taught wingman how to surf using his artifact you cant change my mind about that.

Jett: She absolutely adores every single one of them, but prefers they stay away from the kitchen and her knives. Dont want them to get hurt. She very much enjoys Mosh.

Kay/o: He doesnt seem to dislike or like them. Finding them to be interesting he always tends to be very observing of them. For some reason Thrash seems to very much like the robot, so he often gets detained due to her excitement of seeing him.

Killjoy: She thinks theyre adorable especially when wingman IS NOT RUNNING OFF with her tech. She near had a heart attack when the little guy was running around with one of her swamp grenades.

Neon: Like Kj she finds them quite adorable. Doesn't seem to have really any reservations with them....Well except Thrash, she adores her but the affectionate creature does detain her often.

Omen: He is....Hes anxious around them. Fear is too strong of a word, but they make him ancy.

Phoenix: He thinks the little guys are cool. Nothing against Dizzy but hes hesitant around her because she might just sploot on his jacket or shoes. Wingman is as he likes to say is his little homie.

Raze: Not a single ounce of reservation is in this womans body towards these cute cuddly creatures. After seeing wingmans cleptic tendencies she keeps a sharp eye on her satchels and grenades. The woman would beat herself up if something happened to them due to her explosives. She has quite the affection for Mosh and Wingman

Reyna: Isnt going to openly show it but adores these little guys. Dizzy is her favorite and it seems she to enjoys the empress company.

Sage: Oh heavens they are cute but they do cause quite a bit of trouble at times. Being the mom figure of the protocal she often hears the complaints about Wingman taking off with something. Thrash detaining someone, or dizzy splooting on someone or something. At the end of the day though they are cute and a great addition to the team!!

Skye: She adores them and her pack has play dates with them. Thrash and dog have a good tug of war. Dizzy and her bird love going on flights. The play dates are the best days.

Sova: Wingman makes this man feel sich an unbridled joy. All of them do but the little bird like creature just makes this man melt. To the point where he indulges his nad habits of running off with things.

Viper: She isnt much of an animal person. She doesnt dis like or hate them. It's more she doesn't really like cleaning up after them or having to worry about them getting into things they shouldn't. Out of all of them she does find mosh endearing but that could be because he isnt really able to get into anything like wingman. Also, she is Moshes favorite person. He absolutely just loves and adores the cold woman. Theres times where she simply allows him to sit off to the side in her lab and he does so watching her the whole time in awe.

Yoru: He thinks theyre all cute but isnt going to admit that. He has an image and reputation to uphold. Although Dizzy has splooted on his head a time or two so he is a tad wary of her because well he really doesnt want his hair messed up.

#valorant headcanons #valorant #fade valorant #valorant omen #viper valorant #sage valorant #killjoy valorant #raze valorant #brimstone valorant #breach valorant #sova valorant #skye valorant #astra valorant #valorant gekko #jett valorant #yoru valorant #chamber valorant

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bigtittylawyer · 8 months

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post the cute pokemon pics !!!

I'm on it! o7

[A picture is posted of a Lilligant sunning himself in the window.]

this is Charley, he's my sister's, you've all seen him before ehehe

unfortunately I don't have any pictures of Pika (Nick's Pikachu) that aren't too blurry to post :( sorry

[A picture is posted of a dark-haired teenager in a Steel-type Samurai t-shirt high-fiving a Raichu]

this is Rai, he's not my sister's but she's looking after him for an old friend of hers until he gets out of prison. fun fact! he really likes coffee :3 he either got it from his trainer or from watching Detective Pikachu or maybe both

[A picture is posted of an Eevee loafed on the end of what appears to be an office desk.]

and this is my fluffy girl, before she evolved! her name is Sakura <3

[Several more pictures are attached of a particularly fluffy Espeon in various cute positions, such as splooted on a patterned carpet, perched on someone's shoulder, and showing her belly to the camera.]

she's in my lap rn actually, I'm gonna try and get a pic before I post this-

[A slightly-blurry picture is attached of that same Espeon curled up, fast asleep, in a lap that is presumably Maya's.]

I love u pokemon I love u cute little guys that are so so pettable. life is good :3

#rotomblr #pokeblogging #pokeblog rp #pokemon irl

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tea-time-terrier · 2 years

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I need you guys to know that almost everytime she's worked the quarry she is completely splooted. She is just a worm. No legs.

#she is such an incredibly funny dog I love her so much #she's uhh...not really good at this game but we're having fun #she has impulse control and the barest minimum of prey drive #turnpike #thanks for the photos my love #earthdog

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a-vamp-and-a-half · 2 years

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Rho coos in confused surprise, having never before seen their big brother refuse a treat smelling so nice and sweet

Was he sick?

He didn’t feel sick though. No as Rho looked this way and that at Larry, they could feel vibes of content

But what was making Larry so sleepy and cozy?

Rho chirps, and teleports onto Jamar’s head, looking around, patting their feet down, opening their beak-

And yawning wide, splooting down with a happy coo as Sia laughs in her hands “Oh you’re never getting your hair back” she giggles, turning her face away quickly to cackle when Rho teleports again-

And brings Raspberry into the bunch!

"Better than it being called a rats nest, I guess."

The three birds snuggle up.

"I think I'll need a neck brace after this, holy shit. What do you feed these guys?"

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themadauthorshatter · 3 years

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You guys know me too well at this point.

I did one of these for Cal, and I don't really make solo posts on Maven.

These are some headcanons about Maven's headcanon pets, a doberman and black cat.

This is just my personal AU where Maven lives and everyone's happy, because I miss when Maven was a good brother and person 😭😢😭😢😭

Anyway, HERE ARE THE HEADCANONS!!!!

Elara was against the idea of Maven having any kind of animal because it would distract him.

Even after her death, he was unsure of getting a pet.

Pre-Pet AU turn for the better where Maven, instead of fighting Mare to the death, pushes her and runs away. She follows him to see he has collapsed and is having something of a mental/emotional breakdown. He is on the floor screaming and holding his head. He passes out.

Cal finds them both and Mare helps him carry Maven to a cell, one not made of silent stone, and with no candles or anything that can make a spark.

After some time, and some therapy, let's be real here, Maven gets his own place to live, even thoguh he spends some nights with Cal. And his doggo Sweetie. And Fink the Cat.

He's confused as to WHEN and, honestly, why Cal got these two, but understands the latter when he sees his brother lit up and relax when Fink climbs onto his shoulders, something he has not seen in a very long time. Cal still admits it was Julian's idea.

Maven thinks on it while Sweetie gives him some love; "Mah hooman is in TWO!? YAAAS!!!"

Once he's in his own place and settled, hating the silence and solitude, he makes a pro-con list, talks to the person who's been keeping an eye on him, on a guard, but something of a parol officer and therapist, and has a really bad nightmare before he decides to adopt a dog, but he's not getting anything fluffy and soft like Sweetie because she's not the best guard dog.

The person keeping an eye on him tells him that this is a great idea because giving love to something, like a dog or cat, might help him. I know I'm being too fanfic-y here, but I want good boy Maven back, okay?😭😢

He gets his companion on his way to the shelter, i.e. a stray on the side of the road, a black doberman with one bleeding cropped ear and one floppy, normal ear.

This is the text conversation when Maven arrived home:

"I got a dog."

"That was quick. How'd everything go?"

"Fine? I found him on the side of the road. I don't think he likes me."

"What breed is he? Send a picture."

(Maven sends a picture of this doberman as it is curled up in the corner of his bedroom and growling at him.) "He literally hates me. What do I do?"

"Leave him alone for a little bit. I think he's might be one one those fighting dogs."

"I thought those were illegal." He almost sends, "I thought Father made that illegal," but doesn't and sends what I just typed.

"They are. I guess people still keep doing it."

"Blood money. Anyway, what should I do?"

"I don't know. I think one of the generals said it's better to make yourself smaller so the dog doesn't think you're dangerous or something like that, the Animos on the front. Try that."

"Alright."

Maven decides to sleep on the couch that night, because he doesn't want to get mauled, and leaves some food and water out because the doberman hasn't left his room since bringing him home. He wakes up late in the night in time to see this dog grab a little bit of food and then sort of check on the person that picked him up. He growls a little bit, when he sees Maven is awake, but is calmer when he smells and inspects him. Maven tries to pet the uninjured half of his head, but the doberman backs away; "We're not there yet."

Maven wakes up this morning to see the dog across the floor from him.

Three weeks later, the doberman, which Maven has named Dagger, Phantom, or Ghost, I'm going to call him Dagger for now because of how sharp he is, has started whimpering and shaking his head. Maven can't really go to a vet because they'll think he abused the dog, so he's left to his own devices

GORE TW! DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE SENSITIVE: Remember that bleeding, cropped ear I mentioned? It's infested with mango worms. And, unless he wants to be listed as an abuser towards his new pet and be labeled a lost cause, Maven cannot go to a vet. Everyone knows he is an amazing liar.

He texts Cal, tells the person he's been talking to, and even tells Mare, asking what he should do before Cal says to wait for him and the person he's been talking to sends him instructions on how to remove these worms.

Go time. Maven gets some treats in his hands and lures Dagger to him until he's close enough for Maven to check his ear.

Cal is very careful to be quiet when he arrives and has a moment of "That's my boy" when he sees Maven petting and assuring Dagger that he's okay.

The two get to work, Cal holding Dagger as Maven gets the worms out; don't worry, they gave him some Melatonin to calm him down first.

GORE'S OVER! It takes a little while, and they have a few close calls when Dagger panics at being held down, but Maven gets all the worms out, cleans the infected ear, and wraps it up, Cal helping by holding Dagger and wrapping the ear.

When all this said and done, Dagger barks and snarls at Cal, growls at Maven, and runs back into Maven's bedroom.

I'm pretty sure I do not need to spell out what this dog went through anymore than I just did.

After Cal leaves and Maven cleans up(His house, his rules), he gives his progress to his doctor, not an actual nurse/surgeon doctor, but you know what I mean, "the person he's been talking to" is getting tedious, and mentions Dagger's reaction when they're done, thinking he might have some trauma. His doctor sees his point and assures him to be patient and thoughtful before musing that he and Dagger are very much alike.

This is a video Maven sent to Cal later that day:

(Like with the video of Sweetie, we take perspective of the phone camera as Dagger creeps into the hall connecting to the living room.)

"... Can I help you? Is your ear better now?"

(Dagger only stares at Maven, not growling and we and Maven cannot see if Dagger's tail is wagging or not.)

"(To Cal) He's been, sort of... watching me for a little bit. ...I'm so bored😐."

(Dagger stretches out of the hall and lies down, doing a doberman sploot.)

"(To Dagger)Hi."

(Dagger blinks at him)

"... Am I your favorite show? (More to himself, honestly, and a little quieter) ... Why do cats even watch the laundry?"

TIME JUMP

(Dagger has now rolled onto his back, smiling, and is staring at Maven, who is laughing his ass off for the first time in forever, and struggling to hold the phone up so Cal is going to be able to see.)

"I don't know what he's- (Laughter) Are you okay over there!?😂"

(Dagger sneezes, stands up, and shakes himself off before sitting down life nothing happened.)

"(More laughing) I CAN'T BREATHE! BMY COLORS!!!😂😂"

ANOTHER TIME JUMP!!!

(Maven holds his hand out, palm open and relaxed, as Dagger is creeping up to him. His ears are back ams eyes are wide as he smells and licks his hand. Dagger sits and Maven carefully scratches his head.) "Good boy. You're a good boy."

After this moment, Dagger's more active in inspecting and opening up to Maven, who is using his phone to record each instance to show Cal and his doctor. It's a little step more almost every time, pets on the head and body, a kiss on the face, sitting next to Maven on the couch, laying next to him in bed, and even having conversations.

I don't know what he'd do as a job, but once he's stable enough financially, he gets a proper video camera and computer to make the videos more presentable.

He later comes to realize he's better talking to the camera in the same way Cal writes in his journal. He is required to show these videos to his doctor, who tells him whatever he says is privileged information that is only shared between the two of them.

He also talks to his doctor through video calls/face time and most of those talks are interrupted when Dagger stares at Maven and barks for pets.

This is a conversation when one such event happened(I am not a psychologist and I saw a therapist sparingly, so if anything's not right, I'm so sorry):

"And how are you sleeping? Do you feel rested?"

"I'm pretty sure. It's a little worse when it storms, but overall I'm fine."

"Good. Still no dreams?"

Maven shakes his head. "My mother was really thorough."

As if sensing his uneasy, Dagger climbs onto the couch(he hasn't mastered jumping up yet) and rests his head on Maven's shoulder.

"Is that the dog you adopted?"

Maven nods and pets Dagger a little bit before returning to his conversation. "Yeah. I think he's getting better since I found him."

"It looks like he trusts you now."

"Thank goodne-"

Maven yelps and his doctor jumps when Dagger barks.

"Sorry!" Maven panics as his doctor fights a smile, not to be rude, but because this is cute. "I've been trying to teach him to use his paw to tell me 'more.'"

"While that is a bit much, that means he loves you and wants to leep feeling you. Touch is a strong sign of affection, especially for animals."

Now, Maven doesn't dream. Instead, he wakes up when he hears yelling and screaming in his head, primarily from Elara. Dagger is great at waking him up. Where Sweetie kisses Cal awake, Dagger... does the same, honestly. When that doesn't work, he cries and burrows himself into Maven's side to wake him up. The younger Calore brother goes back to sleep with Dagger in his arms. HE WILL NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP UNLESS DAGGER IS WITH HIM.

On his bad days, Maven will curl up and cover his ears, because it's loud in his head, and Dagger will either find a toy, maybe a tug of war rope, and make him play with him or force his way into Maven's arms and start panting from the heat. It helps distract Maven from the voices in his head.

Dagger hates the the rain. The first time he heard it, he barked and had HUGE anxiety fit. Maven had to help him through that, which meant MANY sleepless nights. It was worth it when Dagger fell asleep on the couch next to Maven while it was raining.

I know I've been talking about good boy Maven's good dog, all the same I think it's time we talk about the cat😊

Maven was napping with Dagger when he got a text from Mare that she found a kitten in the alley near where she lived. For context, this was a SMALL kitten, as in it fit in Mare's palms with no excess showing.

Yeah. That cat was his. And he thanked Mare so much that she told him. (Don't worry, they've been having a healthier relationship since the events of the war, however awkward).

Yes, he recorded bringing the kitten home and was so scared she'd end up dead in the morning because of how weak she was.

She was fine in the morning, just a little noisy because she missed him. He had to talk to his doctor while checking on her, and it wasn't easy when he had a kitten trying to climb up his shirt and on his shoulders.

Dagger KNOWS there's something behind the bathroom door, and he looks between Maven and said door to let him know; "Hooman. Dat door was unclosed before. Now it's closed and doing a noise. What behind da door?"

He was so scared to introduce the pets because Dagger is HUGE compared to her.

You know the comic Pixie and Brutus? Violet-the cat-and Dagger ARE Pixie and Brutus.

Maven thinks it's too cute when Dagger carries Violet by her scruff.

He was not happy when he learned she was a dwarf; Don't ask how, when, or how long ot took him to be allowed to see a vet and not look like he was falling back into bad habits.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "This is great, but didn't you talk about events such as a pandemic happening with our characters with pets? What does Maven DO with these two?" To which I say, This:

He talks to his doctor, records videos, and lives with his cat and dog.

He joined the group in a workout session, and there was one thing alone that gave everyone the proof they needed that he was growing and healing: While struggling to do push ups, Violet got close to his phone and knocked it over and Dagger stole it and ran around with it. These were their reactions when they saw his smile as he called Dagger and Violet silly and brats in the warmest and most loving way: Cal almost cried, Mare smiled, Kilorn's and Shade's jaws dropped, and Farley muted herself so she could tell a few of her men to listen better to Cal and Mare and the doctor looking after Maven, and to not worry about him, at least until she gives the word that they should.

Maven did upper body workouts with Dagger, who was so confused as to what was happening because Maven was holding him in a way that kept Dagger calm and was going up and down rather than down the hall. He whimpered, pawed, and barked to be carried again.

If Violet sees Maven having a bad time sleeping, she'll lay on his head and purr to calm him down. Works every time.

Dagger and Maven share a common interest: taking baths. Dagger is washed once every other week and has the biggest smile ever. Maven bathes at least once a month and Dagger comes into the bathroom to try and join him. Violet hates baths, both because she hates water and because she cries for Maven, or cries for Dagger, or anyone else, to help Maven.

Both animals are very smart and have puzzles to do.

Dagger is a sassy boy.

Dagger is also a really good guard dog, and Maven used to knock on his own door just to enter his home.

After having both Dagger and Violet, Maven has heard Elara's whispers less and less. Her voice isn't gone for good, but thanks to the support from Cal and having Dagger and Violet, the whispers are really manageable.

Sorry again if this is SUPER fanfic-y, like I said I want some serotonin and it's Maven's turn for some happiness!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this post!!!

#red queen #maven calore #cal calore #mare barrow #pets #possible angst #possibly funny #mental health #gore tw #trauma tw #implied abuse tw

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gotmeringinghellsbells · 4 years

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Hi hun! Happy holidays and I hope you have a wonderful new year! I was wondering if you could write a shiro x Curtis x Adam fic where Curtis feels out of place in their relationship and wants to be hugged and kissed instead of just being told that he’s loved while shiro and Adam get lovey dovey. He gets so isolated that he falls ill and refuses to talk to Adam and shiro about the problems until he cracks and tells the truth with shame in his eyes. Sorry if this is angsty! Thank you! Best wishes!

Third Wheel

Fandom: Voltron Defenders of the Universe

Characters: Adam, Curtis, and Takashi Shirogane

A/N: FINALY FINISHED! Happy very much belated holidays dearie! Sorry this took so long.

Description: Depression exists in many ways. It’s an illness with little to no “cure”. Curtis Shirogane had been stricken with this weight for sometime, but recently it’s been crawling further throughout him. His husbands begin to worry before finally saying no more to his silence.

Depression was an illness with no easy “cure”. Sure, he'd been battling it for most of his life, but it never seemed to get easier. The only time he could think when it was when they were in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. Everything was new, sweet, and innocent. The three wed before it really ended; finding it odd to just “string” Curtis along while their already married. Curtis was eager to agree, but now, two years later, he felt like a third wheel more than a lover.

It just came over him without any rhyme or reason. He sat back in the oak, kitchen chair and just watched; slumpt over some. Gray eyes scanned over the two, as they normally did. But rather than the feeling of love or just overall familiarity…. Curtis felt something else; but he couldn’t place what exactly. It wasn’t positive at all, he just felt…. out of place.

Adam was washing dishes, Shiro holding him from behind as he normally did. He rested his face in the warm, soft skin. The sound of a normal or butterfly kiss would be heard from time to time. They never talked during this “special time” unless Adam needed Shiro to move so he could do something. But then again, that’s how their “special time” normally was.

On the couch, in the bedroom, in the car, on the porch; hell even during intercourse. They were so invested in each other, they could read each other so well. They didn’t need to talk to bond, they showed their affection through their actions. Yes, they did talk, just not in moments like this. It was bitter sweet to watch; it was like Curtis was unnoticed.

Sure, Curtis was ace and had a hard time being physical with someone; but it would be nice to be more included. But then again, what was he going to say? He wasn’t, he wouldn’t. He never had been able too grow past the turama to have this skill; even when it involved his husbands.

The male said nothing as he pushed in the kitchen chair. No rubbing Shiro’s back as he passed, not saying anything to either of them. He just left. Spice, his baby, followed him up to the bedroom. She jumped up onto the tall bed with slight struggle before settling in Shiro’s spot on the bed. Curtis then followed to his own, pulling the crocheted blanket Adam’s mother had made for them over the him self and his baby.

He didn’t feel like being here today, he hadn’t in weeks. It was just building up worse and worse but…. he couldn’t say anything.

It had been hours since breakfast. Adam frowned as he glanced at the digital clock that was an added bonus to the cd player attached to the underside of one of his cabinets. It was past noon, Curtis hadn’t come down to eat. Adam had checked on him, of course; but the other, unbenounced to him, was pretending to sleep. Adam left him be, thinking he needed rest. His forehead was normal in temperature, no red dusted the soft, warm, sun kissed skin. He didn’t appear to be ill, but Adam worried from the habit of Shiro’s past.

When Shiro came back from his meeting after dusk, he was surprised that Adam hadn’t woken the other. He was biting the skin beside his thumb, bounding his foot on the wooden kitchen floor. Brown eyes looked back to the clock before glancing up to see the shortest of the three. Shiro frowned before walking over to rub Adam’s shoulders. “You alright?” The other nodded. “Worried. Curtis hasn’t gotten up for anything since breakfast.”

That was strange. They had a bathroom in their bedroom and a case of water upstairs so most likely the other was still hydrated. “He hasn’t eaten,” Shiro asked, correcting the other; “Or stretched his legs?” The other shook his head. “Spice came down a few times but it wasn’t for long. As soon as she went into the yard, she did her business and immediately wanted to get back in bed.” Something was clearly wrong.

Shiro bit his lip in thought as he kneaded into Adam’s shoulders more. “I’ll order dinner tonight. It’ll get here quicker. Pizza might entice him?” Adam shrugged before nodding. “I’m going to go lay with them until it gets here.” Shiro stepped back to give his love space; Adam stealing a soft kiss in response. He walked away quietly as Shiro walked to the counter to use the landline.

Adam lay staring at the ceiling as he listened to the sound of Curtis’s breathing…. And the breathing of every other being (that wasn’t Shiro) in the house. Curtis was curled, facing inwardly to his pitbull, mut rescue. She curled on her side, facing her daddy as well. Coffee, a long haired rescue, curled around Adam’s head for heat as she normally did. Nutmeg stereotypically corgi splooted beside Adam; relying on him to keep her on the bed.

Buffy didn’t even try to climb on the crowded bed. Rather, she curled up on the dog bed in the corner and rested her eyes. Shiro was home, and she was off the clock. However, it didn’t last long as there was a knock on one of the two bedroom doors. Various heads lifted from the two beds, looking to the new face. Shiro gave a small smile. “Food’s here.”

Dog by dog, the three left the room for their own dinner and hopes of stealing some of their fathers. The furry feline merely smacked her fluffy tail into Adam’s face, earning a small snort. “Yeah, I know. You want your dinner too.” Adam set Coffee on the floor before shaking Curtis slightly. “Hey, time to get up.”

Curtis let out a huff of air in defeat before slowly opening his eyes. The look on Adam’s face: that smile, the slightly turned up brows, the half lidded eyes, the love; guilt hit him like a train. “Oh…. alright.” He slowly sat up, not feeling all that well from lack of food. He managed to get down stairs, crashing at the oak table before digging into the veggie slice set on a plate in his spot.

He was quiet as the other two joined him. Adam watched him as he blotted the grease off his pizza with a napkin. Shiro hummed as he finished chewing his bite, swallowing it. “So, you feeling alright Curtis?” The other nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for dinner.” His voice sounded a bit raspy. Shiro pushed a can beside him; soda. To truly eat like they were teens again was rare.

Gray and gray locked as the can was passed. Shiro felt a sense of sympathy come over him as Curtis flicked his eyes to the table to avoid him. “You wanna talk about it?” Gray and brown now met before Curtis shook his head. “I’m fine guys, just tired.” Yeah, depressed. “We’ve been married for two years Curtis.” Adam wasn’t buying the excuse. “If your having one of those days, you can tell us.”

Shiro went to agree when suddenly Curtis stood. He said nothing as he grabbed another slice and disappeared from the table. The two were temporarily paralyzed with shock before exchanging looks. “Let him be,” Shiro said; sounding like an absent father. “May have been a nightmare, PTSD, just…. let him be for now Adam.” It was for himself to hear as well.

The other was silent.

Night was in full swing, the two cuddling on the couch. Roboting fingers moved through wavy, yellow fur as Buffy relaxed beside them. Nutmeg attempted to fight for the hand as Adam’s held Coffee; Shiro holding Adam. It had been a few hours now, Adam couldn’t wait any longer. He set his baby aside before patting Shiro’s hand. The toher let go, watching as the taller disappeared. When Adam didn't turn towards the bathroom, he sighed.

He wanted to help Cutis, of course, but he didn’t know what to do. Shiro feared upsetting the other more than he already was rather than helping him. But when he heard a small noise from the bedroom, hand pushing on the slightly opened door, he felt a sudden sensation of relief. “A-Ahahahdam!” The lighter haired brunette quirked a brow. “What? You’ve been scaring us all day. You need to talk about these things sometimes Curtis. We’re your husbands; we’re your family.” The last part was used as more of a tease as teeth gently scraped against the squirming male’s soft cheek.

Curtis turned his head; the attention that had been craved was now almost tormenting. “Besides that, if you got pizza sauce on my white sheets and blankets or on the crocheted blanket.” It was an unended threat; Curtis already knew his punishment, and was accepting of it. Shiro took his place in the fight, not holding Curtis’s upper body as he would normally. Rather, he sat on the other’s shins and started to squeeze under his knee caps.

The laughter came out harder, hiccupy, and squealy. Small gasps left Curtis’s mouth as he jumped and bounced about, shaking his head. He clung to Adama as he tried to pull his legs out from the solid mass that was Shiro. “Ah! Sthahaop, sthahahop!” Adam smirked a bit before pulling Curtis in close.

Chapped lips pressed against darker brown locks as protective arms swallowed the male whole. “How adorable,” Adam chuckled. This in turn only earned a deeper blush form the youngest of the three. He tried to Adam as a result, whimpering and squealing more so as the touch became lighter under his legs. “Your like a cartoon. Wonder if a feather could actually get you laughing,” Shiro hummed. Adam reached over to his night stand, taking Curtis down with him. Shiro had to quickly move off of Curtis as to not hurt his legs from the action. He watched as Adam reached into the nightstand drawer, Curtis using the break to catch up on oxygen.

Ada pulled out some of the sanitized feathers he’d collected over the years. Turkey, Blue Jay, Robbin, Pigeon, Finch, etc. He held them up to Shiro who grinned with delight. Taking a turkey feather and blue jay feather, he watied for Adam and Curtis to resituate. It was noted by both that Curtis’s struggle ceased. He was covering his face with his hands, as relaxed as he could be in Adam’s loving arms.

“What’s going on, hm? You want to be tickled? If you just wanted our attention, you could have said something, love.” Ah, not the nickname. Curtis squeaked as he started to curl up more. Shiro took the opportunity to gently take his legs, letting Adam continue to softly whisper sweet teases and compliments into Curtis’s ears.

The longer feather (turkey) was first, gliding under the knees and up the bottoms of Curtis’s thighs. The whimpers became hearty giggles. Legs jerks out of sync, body bouncing, and feet wiggling about. Adam snickered lovingly as he started to kiss the blocking hands where he could reach them. “Your so loving and sweet. We love you so much Curtis, what’s wrong; huh?”

Once more, the male shook his head, not about to let his nerves betray his body. “Guess we’re moving up some.” Curtis felt the feather leave, nearly screaming in surprise when it arrived again. The tip could do little against the cloth of the boxer briefs; causing Shiro to use it’s harder end to gently trace the inner thighs. Guilt subsided and butterflies swarmed, he never felt so craving of the strange touch. He whimpered and squirmed, asking for freedom. But false cries fell deaf on loving ears. Teeth gently nibbled his ear lobe, melting the male as a whole.

Feathers glided over his torso, under his un-removed shirt. It felt more secretive and special for some reason today. Hands replacing soft tips earning loud, sweet laughter. The hands roamed up to his neck, then under his chin. Finally, Adam’s hands moved Curtis’s away as Shiro’s started to tickle his cheeks and nose. Breathless giggles filled the cooling air as the session started to cease. Tear filled eyes met dry before Shiro stole a kiss, Adam close behind.

“Feeling better now,” Shiro asked as he rubbed the other’s stomach to help ease the sensation. It didn’t work right, earning more squirms. Slowly, Curtis was able to speak after moving the hand away softly. “Yeah, sorry,” he panted out shamefully. “You want to tell us anything about it,” Adam asked again as he moved his hold and position so that Curtis sat between his legs, leaning back as the other's arms met at his lower torso.

There was silence before Curtis took a breath. “Guess I’ve just felt like a third wheel.” The other two looked shocked. A third wheel? “How so,” Adam asked, being the more composed of the two “outsiders”. “Your… always on top of eachother. Yes, I understand I don’t really feel comfortable with sex and I struggle with physcial affection but…. I just feel like an outsider; like I don't belong in… in this.”

Adam and Shiro looked shocked. They didn’t yell at him, not that Curtis fully expected them too. They weren’t his bloodline, they were his family. They cared for him, about his well being. They just wanted him to be happy, but he couldn’t find the words to express himself. “I love you,” Shiro whimpered before kissing him once more. It was an apology in disguise. Adam started to kiss him more and more, a better apology.

Curtis whimpered before relaxing into the two as they continued to softly kiss him, slowly falling into a sleepy cuddle pile. The butterflies that were erupting didn’t stop. The feeling became overwhelming as he gently moved closer to Adam for support as he began to crumble. Slowly, Adam moved them so that they could rest for the night; Curtis in the middle this time. Four kisses in total on his eyelids, and Curtis was out.

So drained, so flustered, so safe and warm. The two others sighed before sharing a quick, soft kiss and snuggling close to the male between them. Slowly, the three left for a world of darkness, fantasy, or horrors, living in their heads until tomorrow would come.

#vld #Voltron legendary defender #shiro #curtis #adam #vld adam #vld shiro #vld curtis #shuram #tickle #tickling #tickle fight #fanfiction #fanfic #hell answers

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peri-requiem · 3 months

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Caught up with season 2 of Spy x Family last night and why is no one talking about HER? The moment she appeared on screen I started crying (maybe because it was almost 4 AM)

#spy x family #bond forger #peri talks #I knew Daisy would be a dog but not a PUG PUPPY #I have two pugs so my emotions spilled over #GUYS SHE’S SPLOOTING #do you think tatsuya endo has a pug or knows enough about pugs cause this is accurate #soooo accurate #I love Daisy this is a pro-Daisy blog

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sheerioasteroidpanda · 4 years

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Couple’s Holiday, Getting Dicked Good and Monster Girls

Uhh so as usually, when I’m most stressed I write and lately I’ve been reallyyyyyyyyy feeling some Ed Sheeran story so I wrote this. It’s just short and silly and yeah. Just blah. I know I haven’t written anything for tumblr in a while and my AO3 is kind of dead but its cause I let a snide comment get to me plus I’ve been super busy with finishing up college so. Anyways enough rambling. Here’s my first Ed fan fic in a long time. And yes, I used my name cause I’m lazy and selfish and needy for Ed.

"Babe?"

"YEAH?" amanda shouted from her position on the couch, which was currently upside down, legs on the head rest and head on the foot rest.

"Why are you yelling?" Ed asked not looking up from his phone as he entered the condo he had rented for the holidays.

"Oh sorry, thought you were farther away. All the blood is rushing in my ears and it's kinda hard to hear."

"What the hell are you doing?" Ed asked finally looking up to see his girlfriend sitting the complete wrong way with her head nearly touching the floor.

"I dunno, what are youuu doing?" Amanda grinned back. They had been staying at a luxury condo in Colorado Springs for the past 2 weeks and she was getting antsy. While it was supposed to be a holiday vacation, Ed had gotten together with a few music buddies and of course, being Ed, had worked the whole 2 weeks. She didn't mind, she loved seeing him happy and working but still… antsy.

"Wanna go to a party tonight?" Ed checked his phone again as it dinged.

"Hmmmmm what kinda party? We takin party hard party? Rave party? Club party? Pub/dive bar party? You gotta fill a girl in here, ginger boy" amanda rolled over so she was sprawled on the long couch laying on her stomach, her feet kicking in the air.

"Oh I'll fill a girl alright!" Ed wiggled his eyebrows and quickly pocketed his phone so his hands were free to grab Amanda's sides and tickle her. "Fill her right up with my ginger cock is what i’ll do!"

"Edward!" Amanda squealed and wiggled trying to get away. Or maybe get closer, it could be hard to tell sometimes. "You're so lewd!"

"Aye but you love it" ed said as he nuzzled his nose against her cheek, his body now laying fully on top of hers.

"Nah, i love you" amanda said while pushing her hips up to rub against his groin.

Ed nearly growled at the friction. "Babe before we start, do you want to go out tonight? It'll be club and my friends will be there" ed explained as he trailed kisses behind her ear and down her neck.

"Oh" amanda said softly trying to focus. "Which friends?"

"Hmm?" Ed mumbled while he rested back on his hunches and started to push up Amanda's top.

"Ed which friends are going to be there tonight?" Amanda asked a little more firmly.

"Uh, I don't know, probably Dillion and JB and Dia and…" ed listed off a few others.

Amanda felt her heart sploot a little, these were definitely not her types of people. "Uh, why don't you just go. I know you'll have a lot more fun without me to be your ball and chain" saying a little more cheerfully than necessary.

"You don't want to go? Is it cause of Justin? You know he's grown up now. Just like I did." Ed says seriously, all future sexy times are thrown out the window.

Sighing amanda scooted out from under ed so she could sit properly. "I know ed but i just don't enjoy his company not to mention a few others you mentioned would be there. You know that's not my scene anyways. Id just be awkward and distract you from having a good time. Go have fun with your friends. Seeing them is just as important as seeing me or seeing family."

"Dear god I love you" ed said, cupping Amanda's cheek and giving her a sweet and light kiss. "What about you, love? What will you do if i go out?"

Amanda laughed loudly "darlin i have a bottle of wine in the fridge, internet connection and my kindle app. I promise ill be fine for a few hours." It was amanda's turn to give ed a peck on the lips. "Go. Have fun. I'll be here enjoying me time."

"God i fucking love you!" Ed said excitedly as he jumped up after kissing her again and grabbing his jacket and ran towards the door.

"Wait!" Amanda shouted just as he was about to close the door. Ed poked his head back in with a question.

"Phone?" A nod.

"Wallet?" Another nod.

"Keys?" Amanda asked with a raised eyebrow as she looked from him to the coffee table in front of her with his keys sitting on it.

"Have I mentioned you are the most wonderful woman ever to exist?" Ed said as he sheepishly came back inside and grabbed his keys.

"Hmm ill be sure to let your mom know you said as such" amanda grinned wickedly.

Ed gasped "you wouldn't"

"I will if you don't leave right now. You're gonna miss all the fun."

Ed rushed out the door with a final, ‘love you!’ and left Amanda on her own once again. Sighing to herself, she allowed herself to pout at being left alone once again but only for a moment. She truly meant what she said about wanting him to see his friends. And it wasn’t that she didn’t not like some of his friends, she just knew she wouldn’t enjoy herself. If she wasn’t enjoying herself, she didn’t want to distract Ed with her problems.

But honestly, did he have to leave her all hot and bothered? Just rude. Thinking about ways to fix her problem she slammed her fist in her other hand. “I’ll need my laptop and that bottle for sure” Amanda giggled. If Ed is going to have a good night, so was she.

----

“Dude? And she just let you go?” Justin looked at Ed in disbelieve. “Sounds fake but okay” he muttered as he sipped his drink.

“Well I think it’s nice” Dillion said. “You two are so good for each other, she has totally got your back.”

Dia snorted, “That or she’s fucking someone else.”

“What the fuck?” Ed slurred a little. “She wouldn’t do that to me. If she wanted me to stay in, she would have told me. Besides, she loves my dick. Why would she look for another” Ed said smugly.

Dia eyed Ed up and down while sassing her head. “Who said she’s looking for some dick?”

“She is pan” Justin chimed in unhelpfully.

“Let Ed be. Y’all should learn to trust your partners. That’s why y’all can’t stay in a relationship while our boy Ed here is in a 3 year relationship with a lovely girl.” Dillion praised with red cheeks.

“I don’t know about that. You have seemed to be avoiding her lately” Justin muttered, glancing at Ed before looking away just as quick.

“No I’m not!” Ed said a little louder than he had meant to. He was more drunk than he thought.

“Ed, you two have been here for nearly 2 weeks on a ‘couples holiday’ and all you’ve done is work. Amanda hasn’t even been coming with you cause me and her don’t mix well” Justin pointed out. “If I gave up seeing my family and friends for the holidays to go on take a trip with my boyfriend to a luxury condo resort only to be left almost daily cause said boyfriend is working, I’d be a little irritated myself.”

Ed sat with a large pout while he picked at the label on his beer. “I always ask before I leave and she has asked for me to stay a few times and we’ve gone out and skied and went ‘round her old hometown. Even went to that coffee shop she remembered as a little girl.”

Even Dillion started to look doubtful. “I don’t know Ed. I don’t think Amanda should have to ask you to stay when you’re on a couples holiday.”

“I know my girl,” Ed stated again louder than he meant to, setting his beer bottle down a little too hard on the table. “If she had a problem with me going out, she would have said so. She isn’t seeing anybody else and she isn’t sleeping with anyone either.”

Dia raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Sure Teddy, but I know females and that girl is totally feeling ignored and pushed aside.” Dia stood and winked at the whole table, “I’m going to dance, see you boys later.”

The 3 men sat in silence for a moment before Justin spoke up. “Okay, I can see what Amanda was saying about not being sure about her.”

“You talked?” Ed looked shocked at his friend.

“Hmm?” Justin looked to Ed after watching the girl he was currently talking to start 2 guys eyeing her like meet. “Uh yeah. We don’t click well but we’re civil enough, jesus Ed. It was on the 3rd day you two showed up and I came to pick you up to record. You were still in the shower and I waited and we talked a bit.

“Amanda seemed a little more off than usual with me so I asked. She confessed that Dia made her uncomfortable and didn’t think she was a good match, before back-peddling and saying she didn’t mean to intrude on my private life and apologized. And... “ Justin stopped and looked a little embarrassed. His red cheeks from drinking didn’t help hide his guilty look.

“What?” Ed asked irritated for some reason.

“And she said she was sorry for not being able to get along with me. That she knew we were really good friends and didn’t want to ruin that but she wasn’t going to change herself to please you. Then she hoped she was wrong about her feelings for Dia and wished me luck.” Justin looked away, too embarrassed to look Ed in the eye. “I gotta say man, I got a little jealous of you right at that moment.”

“See Ed, there’s nothing to worry about. Just relax and enjoy yourself.” Dillion said with a pat on Ed’s back.

Ed squinted at Justin, taking in his words. He had a sudden swell of unbelievable pride in his girl but the ear worm had gotten to his brain already and now he couldn’t stop thinking about Amanda being in bed with another man. Or woman. Oh god, or both. Ed stood up abruptly, almost knocking his chair over. “I have to go!”

“Wait, Ed maybe you should sober up a bit first” Dillion looked worried.

“I’m fine” Ed grumped and marched out of the bar. They weren’t that far from the condo complex and the cold air would sober him up just fine.

After walking the 10 minutes back to their room, Ed’s head had cleared and realized how stupid he was being. Ed smiled to himself as he unlocked the door and shook his head at how silly he was and what a great girl he had.

Until he heard a long, wonton moan.

Ed froze and could literally feel his heart break. His shoulders slumped and let his coat and keys fall to the floor. He dragged his feet but couldn’t stop his movements towards the bedroom where he was hearing more moans and obvious sounds of sex.

He raised his hand to open the door when he stopped again. There was another moan but listening again, he realized it wasn’t Amanda’s moan. And then another voice groaned and then… someone speaking Japanese?

Then to top it all off, he heard Amanda snort and laugh out loud.

Now he was mad and confused so he peeked inside to find Amanda sitting on the bed, cross legged and in one of his nightshirts and a pair of boy short panties. She was sipping wine from a plastic bright green wine glass and was watching something on her laptop.

Again Amanda being Amanda, she was positioned oddly so her back was actually towards the door and Ed could see what was playing on the laptop.

“Oh my god! Are you watching tentacle pron?” Ed shouted as he stepped inside fully.

Amanda screamed and jumped, spilling her wine all over herself and the bed. Ignoring that, she slammed the laptop screen down so fast, Ed barely saw her hand move. “What are you doing here back so soon!?” Amanda shrieked.

“I, well, uh. That doesn’t matter right now, were you watching tentacle porn?” Ed asked again trying not to laugh.

“You were supposed to be gone the whole night! And you left me horny! And you weren’t supposed to be home so soon!” Amanda rambled, blushing so much her neck was turning red too.

“I didn’t know you were into that” Ed said smirking.

“Shut up, ginger boy!” Amanda shouted as she stood up off the bed but now standing she didn’t know what to do with herself. “I just. The thing is. You see it started. I mean, I discovered it when I was in high school. I mean, why am I explaining myself? Why were you skulking about trying to scare me?”

It was Ed’s turn to look embarrassed. “If I explain my embarrassing story of the night, will you tell me about your kink I never knew about?”

Amanda crossed her arms and looked away with puffed cheeks. “I’ll think about it after you explain yourself.”

“Okay well, I was a little drunk when it was brought up how I was ‘allowed’ to go out without you and then the guys were saying how great that was that you were cool with it but then Dia had to say something about you maybe looking to find some dick somewhere else and then Justin pointed out I’ve been working almost this whole holiday and I’ve been a rubbish boyfriend. So in my drunken stupor I thought I’d come back to find you and dick you down so good, you’d never even think of another man but then I came through the door and heard moans and sex and panicked and felt my heart break and followed the sound and then found you looking so beauiful in my shirt and those panties on that lushous ass of your’s and you watchin porn after I left you alone, I just… My brain stopped working.”

Amanda stared at him with a raised eyebrow and a doubtful look on her face as she listened to him ramble. Though once she heard that Dia had started spewing her poison, she wasn’t surprised to learn that a seed of doubt was planted. “Wait you’re telling me that brain of yours works sometimes?”

“It’s up for debate to be honest, love” Ed smiled sheepishly.

“And you were gonna ‘dick me down so good’ huh?” Amanda said as she still kept her arms crossed but now jetting her hip out as well, sass surfacing in defense of the embarrassment of being caught.

“Okay so maybe my brain isn’t working at all tonight” Ed said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Not the most romantic thing I’ve said.”

“Ironic sense you know, Ed Sheeran and all” Amanda smirked and nudged her chin in his direction.

“Are you seriously gonna keep sassing me when I caught you watching tentacle anime porn?” Ed said exasperated.

“Are you seriously gonna keep bringing up the hentai?” Amanda sighed.

“Oh it has an actual name? Please tell, love, why haven’t I learned about this private enjoyment before?” Ed said, slipping into to his low baritone and stepped up to cupped Amanda’s warm cheek.

“Cause I haven’t needed to watch porn in a while and plus it’s just sort of a once in a blue moon type thing” Amanda confessed, blushing straight to the tips of her hair. “Plus it wasn’t tentacles…”

“Oh? Please correct me than?” Ed smirked, loving the way her whole body was warm.

“It was monster girls and aliens” Amanda whispered. “I like the succubuses” Amanda muttered as she placed her face against his chest.

“That. Is. So. Cute” Ed laughed as he hugged Amanda. He lowered his head so he whispered in her ear, “Would you like to watch it together?”

“Well…” Amanda snuggled her face more into Ed’s chest. “I spilled my wine of the bed.”

“Wanna do it on the couch?” Ed asked simply.

“Edward!” Amanda pulled back and slapped her hand against his chest. “You’re so lewd.”

“That wasn’t a no” Ed wiggled his eyebrows.

“You’re right, it wasn’t” Amanda giggled back.

#ed sheeran #code ginger #ed sheeran fan fic #Couple’s Holiday Getting Dicked Good and Monster Girls #asteroid panda's bad writing

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the-trashkin · 5 years

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While rummaging through an old imperial outpost, Jay’ani found a little bullpup among the wreckage, scavenging for scraps. Without hesitation, she brought the little guy home. Name is pending, but simply referred to as “Dog.” He likes to sploot and show his toe-beans.

#Elezen #FFXIV #my screenshots

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the-fiction-portal · 5 years

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A Dog’s Day

A/N: Yall I have no self-control I have a shit ton of stories I should be working on but I could not resist writing a Bucky fic. I just felt inspired after stumbling across this and I was like, ‘this sounds like a perfect au’ and was like ‘what if I used a dog’ and that's how I got a Modern AU w/Bucky and his dog.

Paring: Bucky x OFC

Word: 4419

Summary: Aria, a woman who spends her free time fostering kittens, has been noticing for the last week she’s been getting a dog visitor in her yard. Curious about who the owner is she writes a note and sticks it in the dog’s collar to alert the owner of the dog’s escapism. What happens when the dog returns with a new dog tag and a return note?

--------------------------

“You’re doing such a good job, Frodo,” Aria coos at the tri-colored corgi who was playing gently with some of the kittens she was fostering. It warmed her heart to see her dog being so gentle with the kittens and it was especially nice because the kittens would have experience with dogs when getting adopted out.

The kittens were nestled against the dog as they sought out the warmth. The dog in question was resting happily beside the kittens, his little nubby tail wagged at the praise.

Eventually, the peace in the house turned into chaos as it was time to feed the animals. Having a home full of animals at any given time made scheduling very important. If they were newborn kittens that needed to be fed near constantly she fed all animals roughly the same time every day 8am was breakfast, 12 was lunch, and dinner time was 6.

“What is it Frody?” she calls to her dog who was sitting patiently by the door leading to the backyard. It would be that Frodo had to go outside, the only task that she hated as a dog owner. Going outside in the cold was the last thing she wanted but she had no other option

“Alright, Frody. Let’s go,” she grunts as she gets up from the couch sounding very much like a middle-aged lady even if she is only 30.

Unlocking the screen door she lets her corgi run free trampling into the first snow of the season. It wasn’t a lot but it was enough for Sophie shut the door and watch her dog safely from the inside.

“He’ll let me know when he’s ready,” she reasons out loud knowing the dog well enough to where he’ll scratch at the glass to be let in so she heads back to their couch to watch a little tv. That is until she heard Frodo’s excited barking.

She hurries to grab a coat and opens the door to see a very familiar dog climbing her fence. She didn’t consider putting a privacy fence mainly because Frodo was so short and she herself didn’t see herself using the backyard as often. But with recent events it almost made her want to consider it. After all, what if it wasn’t a cute mischievous dog who climbed her fence but an intruder?

“Well hey, Ninja dog,” she slides the door close and walks over to the dogs who were running around the yard. For the past week, every day like clockwork, this dog has snuck into her yard. It was always after lunch and she couldn’t resist giving the young dog a treat before he went on his way.

The dog stops and bounds over to her, tail wagging excitedly as she goes in to pat the dog’s head Frodo was hot on their heals. “Who do you belong to?” she asks the dog as if it would suddenly start talking. Judging by the coat and the blue collar the dog was obviously a cared for dog. She was quite charmed by this dog, it was a beautiful husky, with black fur and piercing blue eyes and he was very energetic so she was sure it was still pretty young.

“Alright, alright,” she giggles when the dog jumps up excitedly and whines for food. She didn’t think to grab any treats before coming outside.

“Stay,” she held her hand out to the dog who waits patiently while she ran inside for snacks. After feeding them some jerky snacks they start excitedly running and playing with Frodo. She was happy the ninja dog got along with Frodo and perhaps this is why she didn’t try to do anything to keep the dog out yet.

‘Dear owner, Are you aware of your ninja dog wandering the neighborhood? They’ve been coming in my yard every day for a week. They have a collar but no way to contact you. I decided to voice my concern because they could stumble into a yard where they’re not welcome. Please give your dog a tag and keep them safely inside.

From, Friendly Dog Lover’

As the dogs played she took the time to write a note to the owner of this husky and by the time both dogs were panting it was easy for her to slip the folded note into one of the loops in the collar. Eventually, the dog makes their daring escape and scuttles over the fence and just like that they were gone.

“Well, Frody. Let’s get going before the kittens destroy the house,” she tells her dog.

It wasn’t exactly true, the kittens were maintained in a smaller room in the house and every day they got time to explore the rest of the house, it was the only way to contain the chaos. After Frodo actually went potty, she enters the house with the dog.

---------------

Aria loved working from home. Once she did what she had to do for the day she had some time to focus on the kittens. She had recently uploaded new photos of the kittens on her blog and links it directly to the website of the local shelter she was fostering for. They were big enough to be adopted out now as she only ever tended to tiny or sickly kittens that the local shelter didn’t have time or resources to tend to as closely. Soon, she’d have to say goodbye to these little kittens and receive someone new.

A scratch at the window startled her and Frodo who jumped to investigate. Aria goes over to the blinds and slides them open to reveal the husky was back. She’d not seen them in a few days she thought the owner got the hint but now the dog was back she got mixed emotions. She was happy for Frodo who seemed more than happy to see his friend again but sad because the owner was careless again. Still, she grabs her usual treats and notices two things immediately. One the dog had a tag, two there was a note attached to the dog.

She kneels to pet the dog who licks her cheek happily making her smile and pet the adorable pooch and she notes the tag again and it was a lot of writing on it so she takes the time to read it, maybe she would know what to call them other than Ninja dog.

“Hi, I’m Luca. I’m not lost, just visiting,” she reads out loud and grins. Luca was a pretty name.

She turns the tag over and was surprised to see more than just contact info. “If I look hurt or scared, call James Barnes,” she reads out loud and underneath was what appears to be a phone number. Finally a somewhat proper tag, she could sigh in relief.

Luca whines and shuffles his feet as he sniffs for the treats.

“Ok, Luca. Here you go,” she tosses it and the dog catches it in his mouth, crunching excitedly. Not to be left out she gives Frodo some too.

‘Dear Friendly Dog Lover, I am so sorry about Luca. I had just moved a week ago and I did not think to check the fencing in the yard before I let him out. It was a great place for him to roam and play while I attempt to slowly unbox my house. Apparently, there was a loose panel in the fencing where he was able to wedge himself through. He’s still a pup so I guess it’s no surprise he’s slim enough to fit. The fence is fixed so the little escape artist shouldn’t make any surprise visits I let him out on purpose so you can see his tags. Also, I’d like to meet at the nearby park to meet you officially to say thanks, I don’t know many people so meeting a fellow dog lover is top of the list. The number on Luca’s collar is my cell, if you’re interested, text me with a day and time that works best for you.

From, James Barnes’

She had read the letter twice over and eyed the dog who had dropped in a playful crouch. Since the snow had long ago melted and the grass is dry she adds to their fun by tossing a ball around and watching the dogs zoom up and down trying to catch the ball first. She praised Luca when he came back with the ball but it was a 50/50 shot of him actually letting go of it. Frodo had to correct the younger dog a few times whenever Luca got the ball and eventually both dogs were playing nicely.

Eventually, the ball no longer amused them as Frodo laid out in his tired sploot and Luca was panting beside him. She gives the dogs water before Luca makes his move to go home.

“Well…guess I better give Luca’s dad a text,” she answers as she heads back to her home. She had saved the number as ‘James Barnes: Luca’s Dad’ and was able to find it with ease.

Hello. This is the friendly neighborhood dog lover. I received your message, I’d love to meet you and Luca officially. He’s a very good boy and enjoys playing with my dog, Frodo. So if you don’t mind I’ll bring him with me. Also, any time on Saturday I’m free.

James Barnes (Luca’s Dad): I’d love to meet your dog especially if they get along. Is 1pm Saturday okay?

Sounds great. See you then.

With the date and time set the only thing Aria can do is wait. It was only Tuesday, she had a long week yet to go.

Aria spent the rest of the week wondering what James was like in person. With a name like James she had to assume he’s a guy, she's never gone out of her way to meet up with a guy that wasn’t business related in a long time. She hoped he was nice, especially if he’s in the neighborhood. She kinda just politely greet the neighbors when she saw them outside, but having a genuine friend in the area would be a new experience.

Saturday morning she awakens as usual with a storm of emotion shuddering through her. She was excited because the kittens were graduating to their new home. Or rather only two of them were going to be adopted today, the other two will be going to the shelter where they can be given the chance to interact with more cats and get adopted from there. Being the prime kitten age, they won’t be there too long.

“Well, guys. Let’s have a light breakfast,” she says out loud knowing that it’s best not to have animals full before traveling. Meanwhile, Frodo gets his meal as usual and as he’s in the corner munching away she monitors each kitten. Each kitten had a breakfast theme, there was Egg a white and ginger girl, and Bacon a ginger boy. They were actually litter mates. Two abandoned kittens that eventually joined them were Waffle, a white and tabby boy, and Bagel a tuxedo boy. The two that were going home together are litter mates Egg and Bacon. Their owner will be here in another hour.

On time, the family came to meet their new additions. The brother and sister were each holding a kitten, smiling as their parents affectionately pet the kittens. She placed them in the carrier and placed some of the joys they loved playing with.

“Thanks so much for choosing these two. They will be the light of the house I just know it,” she tells the parents, mainly the mother as the father was holding the carrier cooing at them gently.

“No, thank you for taking such good care of them,” the mother said back making Aria smile. It was all worth it seeing the small or pathetically sick kitten grow and play and be happy and healthy.

She waves off the family and soon after she drops off Waffle and Bagel to the shelter who were happy to receive them, they would be placed in a kitten room where a few healthy kittens were.

“Okay, I have plenty of time before our meeting,” she looks at the time, it was only 10.

By the time she cleans out the kitten room, gets rid of the litter, and vacuum the rest of the house to be rid of access hair it was nearly noon. She still had to shower and get dressed.

“Argh,” she lets out Frodo to use the bathroom before getting that well needed shower. It was sunny but chilly. However, it was not freakishly cold so she was able to wear an undershirt under a sweater and a pair of skinny jeans and her walking shoes. The day was nice to have a bit of a walk, what else would a couple of dog owners be doing?

She knew which park James had referred to and it was either a nice walk or a quick car ride to it. Since today was a nice day she decided on a walk.

However, the moment she grabbed the leash to attach to the harness Frodo became excited, wagging his nub tail so hard he was practically wagging his butt.

“Alright, Frody, we can’t go unless you sit still,” she said as the dog was too excited for a walk. While his puppy years are long gone, he was a healthy adult who had plenty of energy to spare. In fact, it was important he was well exercised when dealing with tiny babies.

When the leash was attached, the walk began. Frodo knew what to do, he stayed at her side while they walked. Aria knew where to go as well guiding her companion to the park, soon as the sounds started of other people started making its way to their ears Frodo became excited again, he knew where he was.

“Alright, don’t pull. Frodo, heel,” she commands giving a tug on the lead before Frodo could go any further and the dog stops trying to pull and stood beside her.

“Good dog,” she praises and pulls out her phone to message James.

Hey, I made it to the park. If you see a goof wearing a light blue sweater with a very excitable corgi that is me. Look forward to meeting you.

She sends the message and makes a way to the bench. Frodo whines, no doubt because this wasn’t the walk that was promised.

“Don’t worry, Frody. We’ll get our walk in, don’t you want to see your friend Ninja dog? Wanna see Luca?” she asks her tone shifted and the Corgie turns back to her, little butt wagging. She wondered if he understood but he still seemed pretty alert, looking around so maybe, just maybe he did.

James Barnes (Luca’s Dad): Sorry, we’re late, we’re looking for you right now.

She looks at her phone, it was only 5 minutes after. Sure it was late, but it wasn’t like she was waiting long. It was a nice day after all. She stands to look out for the husky pup and see the human attached to said pup. But then Frodo jumps up and lets out an excited bark eagerly starts to go in a direction. Perhaps he’d picked up the scent of a friend.

“Alright, alright Frodo. Heel,” she commands and the dog was bounding in excitement as she finally takes notice of the only Husky in the park. She walks a little closer and she takes note of the human and was stunned. Dark brown hair that fell around his jaw, said jaw was defined and was peppered in a tasteful amount of stubble, lastly, his eyes were a stunning icy blue, kinda reminded her of Luca.

When they got close enough she lets go of the button, allowing the dogs to meet first. Frodo greets Luca with eager sniffing, both sets of tails were wagging happily.

“So, you’re the Friendly Dog lover?” James asks with a voice so velvety smooth she was almost speechless.

“Oh, um. Yes, name’s Aria. And I would assume you’re James?” she answers back.

“Yeah, I’d prefer if you called me Bucky though,” he answers sticking his hand out.

She grasps it gently in a handshake, she tries to ignore the warmth that resonated from the moment they touched. “So, this little escape artist is named Luca?” she asks looking down at the dog who had stopped to sniff her.

“Yeah, my god. I hadn’t the slightest clue he was getting out this whole time. So the note was very alarming, to say the least,” Bucky answered.

“That’s right, you moved recently. I don’t think I noticed any moving trucks,” she answers.

“Oh, it’s because I had a little help,” he answers.

Soon, they start walking the path around the park as they talked about him just moving to be closer to the people he considers family. She listens how he got Luca as a gift from his best friend Steve and how the past couple of months having him was amazing.

“He’s a little shit, but I love him,” Bucky answers fondly looking at the dog who was walking happily beside Frodo.

“Aren’t they always? I love my dog too,” she answers.

“You said your dog’s name was Frodo? Fan of Lord of the Rings?” Bucky asks making her whip her head towards him.

“Oh? You enjoy it too?” she asks in surprise, it’s such an old fandom that it’s not talked about much.

“A few friends have seen the films. One of them calls another friend of mine Legolas because he did archery as an elective in school,” Bucky answers watching her eyes stare back at him in wonder. “Though, I haven’t exactly gotten into them myself,” he adds.

“Fair enough. And, well my boyfriend really loves the books, and I originally got Frodo for him since he really loves Corgis,” she answers and then looks down at the dog who seemed happy with his walk.

“But, life happened and well, I ended up with Frodo. He’s been a joy for 5 years,” she adds trying to brush off the negative feelings that came with talking about Frodo’s origins, all she knew is that she loves her corgi.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Oh no, it’s okay. It's an innocent question that is a little loaded from time to time. I mean his name is actually funny. Frodo is a hobbit and corgis are short-legged dogs. I think it was the funniest thing,” she answers with a small chuckle.

After a lap around the park, she notices Bucky was looking at his phone and ran his hand through his hair nervously.

“Oh, sorry for keeping you. Saturdays are usually reserved for people who have things to do,” she answers feeling bad for keeping him all day.

Stunning blue eyes looks from his phone back to her, captivating her with ease once again.

“No, it’s not that. I’ve…well…” he hesitates a moment.

“I wanted to thank you and maybe let the dogs hang out before going. But…well I really like having your company and I’d like to invite you to lunch or coffee,” he states.

Her heart leaps in her throat, she’s never been asked out before, not in a long while. She hadn’t the slightest idea what to do with herself.

“The dogs can come of course. There’s that one place in town that has an area where people can sit with their dogs,” Bucky adds noting her hesitation.

“Oh, I know which shop you’re talking about. Sure we can go,” she answers now that she had something to focus on.

“I brought my car here so we can go together. Unless you brought yours of course,” Bucky replies, guiding Luca out of the park.

“I walked, and sure…if you don’t mind,” she checks with him, though before she had time to regret asking and say she’d meet him there he had already given the go-ahead, his smile was so bright she hadn’t the heart to change her mind.

------------

“Woah, you’re a teacher? How do you have time to foster?” Bucky asked sounding stunned to have been told of her profession.

“I limit it to only a few kittens at a time now. Before I had a house full,” she answers with a shrug.

“But…you’re an English teacher. You have to actually grade papers,” Bucky adds making her giggle at how big his eyes looked.

“I mean…you’re not wrong. I do have to read quite a bit. But I only have a few online classes for now. That way I don’t actually have to leave my house. I can’t actually leave newborn kittens alone, you have to feed them every couple hours,” she explains and ends up going on a rant about the latest kittens she’d nursed from the time they were days old till now.

“Today, they graduated and I feel like a proud parent and—” she stops when she sees him smiling softly at her, his coffee remaining mostly untouched.

“S-sorry! I just…go on tangents about my—”

“I think it’s neat. You look really passionate about it, it’s a good look on you,” Bucky answers with a grin, making her face flush instead.

“Y-you don’t have to indulge me…” she answers taking a nervous sip of her cup.

“If I can listen to my friend go on and on about art, which I have absolutely no knowledge about, I can listen to a cute girl talk about animals,” Bucky answers, brushing off her apology.

“Wha?” she squeaks out, not used to such forward language directed at her. He just called her cute without batting an eye. She feels Frodo sit up by her feet, perhaps because of the awkward noise she just made. She pats him on the head to assure him she was fine.

“I’d apologize, but I think it’ll do you a disservice. Also, I’d really love to know more about how you decided to name a cat Egg and Bacon,” Bucky answered shifting the topic back to the familiar.

Even as flustered as she was, she was able to quickly recover when her cats were involved. Other than apparent flirty comments, which were out of her element, she felt really comfortable around Bucky and could see them hanging out in the future. Maybe even without their dogs as buffers.

Enjoyed his company so much she followed him to a safe spot to let the dogs off leash to run, agreeing the dogs did not get any exercise and that Luca, as a working dog, required a lot more activity.

“Oh, wow. I didn’t realize how late it was getting,” Bucky looks at his phone.

Suddenly Aria realizes that the sun was going down. In another hour it would be dinner. She calls back her dog who stops in mid-play and turns around to book it. She glances over to Bucky who had called out to his dog, but he used a strange command instead of the usual ‘come’ the pup managed to follow behind, and eventually passing her short-legged dog to make it back to his owner.

“What was that command?” she asks once she got back to the car.

“Hm?”

“The command to call back Luca, it was something I haven’t heard before,” she answers.

“Oh, Veni. Means come in Romanian,” Bucky answers.

“Oooh, you’re one of those. Like cops who train the German Shepherds German commands,” she answers but still thought it was cool, she didn’t even know where Romania is.

“My friend is a cop. Suggested it to me,” he answers with a grin.

“Well damn,” she laughs at how close she was. “You’re gonna have to tell me about why of all the languages you chose Romanian,” she adds knowing there was an interesting story just waiting to be told.

“Unfortunately we are arriving back to our neighborhood. We can go out some time and I’ll answer all your questions,” he answers.

“Oh damn…I just realized we hardly talked about you at all. I probably sound like some kind of narcissist or something. Geeze,” she groans realizing it immediately. “Also make a left here…” she adds realizing her house was coming up.

“It’s not a big deal. I asked because I was curious, I wanted to know the woman who’s kept such a close eye on my dog for me. I can’t thank you enough,” he tells her and at her instruction came to a stop in front of her house.

“No problem. Luca is a swell dog and I just wanted to make sure he’s safe. He can have a supervised visit anytime though,” she replies, she liked having Luca around.

“Is it safe to assume I’ll see you around?” Bucky asks as she gets Frodo leashed and out of his car.

“Yes I’ll be seeing you around,” she smiles and she actually believes it. Bidding him goodnight, she goes back into her house.

Later that evening as Aria sits watching Netflix on her tv with her dog resting on his comfy dog bed her phone chimes beside her. She grabs it and looks to see who it could possibly be.

James Barnes (Luca’s Dad): Hey, Aria. I’d like to get to know you more. Would you like to accompany me to lunch or even dinner?

She looked down at the message for a while. Was it a date? She notes that he didn’t specify but he didn’t indicate anything about the dogs. She held the phone in her hand for a while, stomach clenching nervously.

“Gee, how did I even date before?” she asked herself out loud remembering a time where she felt freer. She met her ex-boyfriend in college and had several classes together it was only a matter of time before she talked.

“This isn’t necessarily dating. He did say he wanted to make friends. Friends go to lunch or dinner all the time,” she reasons with herself.

I’d like to go to dinner. How is next Friday sound?

If it’s a date or not she decides to take a chance. At best Bucky can be a reliable friend in the neighborhood. At worse, she would just avoid him like she avoids all her other neighbors, and Frodo will have lost a friend. A part of her, deep down, wanted to take a chance on the not so stranger named Bucky Barnes.

AN: S/o to the one Romanian word, I did a google and this is what it gave me. I apologize in advance. Stay tuned for a Christmasy themed one.

#bucky barnes #bucky x ofc #modern au #bucky fic

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2snoots2furrious-blog · 6 years

Text

Y’ALL IDK MAN

Life is mostly boring but I sleep a lot right now so not on tumbes much.

We’re starting the process for a HELOC which is like flashbacks right away to refinancing/buying the house with paperwork and I dislike it already.

Gonna use the HELOC to redo the basement/finish off some more of it. I’m gonna (probably) get a big built in desk!! I AM EXCITE.

I’m on another getting-rid-of-things kick recently. I mean I’ve been on such a kick for like a year but like a more motivated kick right now.

Did I tell you guys I got a new vacuum? And I love it? Cuz I did and I do.

Quinn did eventually stop having diarear (as we eventually started calling it). It took like 3 months and a bunch of high fiber food. She’s just now back to eating only the regular food, but the vet wants her to stay on the high fiber food so I’ll probably keep giving her a mix for a while.

Mosby hurt his wrist somehow recently. The vet gave him some anti-inflammatory pills, which ended today, so we’ll see if he goes back to limping in the next few days.

I was bored and looked up how much it costs to adopt a kid today. Apparently it’s like not a ton if it’s through foster care, but like.... 20k to god knows what if you do a private adoption. Loooooooooooool siiiiiiiiiigh good thing I don’t want a baby any time real soon.

Man I want to get rid of some stuff in the basement. Like the elliptical. Anyone around here want an elliptical that mostly works but sometimes makes grinding noises?

Quinn is so fucking precious. She’s splooting right now and watching Erick eat carrots.

Uhhhhhhhh i’ve been reacting in some strange ways to my medicine recently. Sleep doc told me to stop running cuz of heart stuff and go to my regular doctor and get an EKG and tell her about stuff. That’s not till late January though.

Last year Trump winning the election kinda ruined the holiday vibe for me so I didn’t put up lights or get holiday cards. But this year, I’ve become numb to the pain and the feeling of the WW3 being right around the corner is a standard part of all areas of life, so I managed to get lights up on the house and cards out this year. Grated, I mailed the cards today, but STILL COUNTS.

No Christmas Tree though because Erick broke the bigger one last year while trying to put it up, and Stormy knocks over the little one constantly and I don’t feel like dealing with it. I kinda want to find a replacement for a Christmas Tree that is cat-proof.

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a-vamp-and-a-half · 3 years

Note

She smiles soft at them all, nodding to assure it was appreciated “Thanks guys” she says soft, chuckling as she sees Rho pat over, entire tail moving side to side as always when they walked, chirping and climbing up, proceeding to softly peck her leg until she put it down before splooting onto Eric’s cloth on her lap, determined and ready for nuzzle time “Thank you Rho” she says softer still, lightly hugging them too as they coo, petting them as she held Bing's stress ball lightly in her hand

Ben pads on over as well, curling around her shoulders and warming up.

Chica hops up, and gives Sia her favorite toy.

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funnynewsheadlines · 4 years

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People Are Sharing Pics Of Their Long Cats That Seem To Stretch ‘Til Infinity (147 Pics)

Remember animal panorama fails? These pictures are the opposite. They're as real as it gets.

The average cat is about 46 cm (18 in) in head-to-body length with a roughly 30 cm (12 in) long tail. And that's what we're used to seeing. However, there are breeds that are so far off these numbers, they look like mini lions. Or slinkies. Take the Maine Coon for example. The title for the longest cat in the world belongs to one of these majestic guys. His name is Stewie, and The Guinness World Records confirmed that he measured 123 cm (48.5 in) from the tip of his nose to the tip of his tail.

Bored Panda has compiled pics of some of the longest cats out there, and they seem to stretch 'til infinity. Scroll down to take a look for yourself and upvote your faves!

#1 Almost Human Height Long

Image credits: zlobrushkes

#2 Found A Weird Reptile In My Bathtub

Image credits: Janeiskla

#3 Long Cat

Image credits: katzensucht

#4 Salvador Dali’s Cat

Image credits: Larka7

#5 Whatever Is Comfy I Guess

Image credits: ryan4637

#6 Eat Your Heart Out, Longcat

Image credits: Coodoo17

#7 The Chillest Of Them All

Image credits: mttkmsan

#8 L O N G B O I

Image credits: BustedWalnut

#9 Windowsill Sploot

Image credits: squiggly_wiggly_pie

#10 Maylon And Jason

Image credits: barivel_maine_coon

#11 Long Legged Boy

Image credits: kyamten_

#12 Summer Tora And Winter Tora

Image credits: KurobeeAkitora

#13 From Short To Long Cats

Image credits: trixie_pixie_dust

#14 Our Sunbathing Cat Tiny Melting On The Porch

Image credits: Auridion

#15 Longcat

Image credits: dead_marine

#16 It's Unreal How Long This Boy Is

Image credits: totallytobiko

#17 Guys, Look How Long I Can Be

Image credits: Evaaaaaaa0717

#18 What The Heching Heck Are You Doing Hooman

Image credits: otonnu

#19 Finn Is An Extra Long Cat, Even Longer Than My Torso When He Stretches Legs Out

Image credits: JaneDoe00110101

#20 This Stretched Black And White Cat That's Being Held Upside Down

Image credits: Pu-Chi-Mao

#21 This Stretched Cat

Image credits: Im_Lars

#22 Very Long Cat

Image credits: Stuckurface

#23 It's A Proud Length

Image credits: inisiheno

#24 There Is A Black Cat Growing In My Home

Image credits: Sakura_Yuminyan

#25 My Cat Is Too Long

Image credits: kk6_24

#26 Those Legs

Image credits: rebeccagpdx

#27 Penny Does Pilates

Image credits: penny_on_the_roof

#28 Stage 1 Of The Mummification Process Has Begun, Cat Is In Position

Image credits: John_From_The_IRS

#29 Meet Manasha, The World's First Longcat Loaf

Image credits: various_extinctions

#30 He Can Play Tetris

Image credits: ndf99

#31 When Your Cat Arrives In The Mail

Image credits: xsited1

#32 My New Liquid Cat

Image credits: Don_Suey

#33 A Cat Is Liquid. Eh?

Image credits: kobachiya

#34 Cute Spaghetti

Image credits: gochats

#35 He Did A Streetch

Image credits: shinymak

#36 It's Been A Loooong Day

Image credits: catstradamus

#37 Is There Any Way To Extend It?

Image credits: kotoramom

#38 Very Long Cat

Image credits: hozen_undo

#39 Neo Is Hecking Long

Image credits: Van Ta

#40 Hello, Is It A Snake?

Image credits: kissaubassard

#41 I Stretchy

Image credits: Tyindorset

#42 Spoooky

Image credits: organic.mangos

#43 Human Legs For Scale

Image credits: bakushinchi04

#44 Let This Weekend Feel Looong

Image credits: stardust.catstar

#45 This Cat At My Local Rescue Shelter Has Ridiculously Long Legs

Image credits: McPokie

#46 My Super Long Cat, Lawrence

Image credits: unclebuck720

#47 Curbed

Image credits: Plethorian

#48 Ahh! Spilled My Liquid Cat All Over The Carpet, What A Shame

Image credits: emsy71

#49 A Cat Sausage

Image credits: hermionepepper

#50 My Cat Janeway Has Decided Her New Napping Spot Is In My Bathtub. I Went To Take A Picture And She Stretched At The Perfect Moment

Image credits: itsdevinn

#51 Sunset Sploot With Bonus Crossed Paws And Fancy Tail

Image credits: xvH719jft7

#52 L O N G Girl

Image credits: LordEmostabe

#53 A Very Long Cat

Image credits: nucleoprotein

#54 S-T-R-E-T-C-H

Image credits: AnglophileHistoryNut

#55 My Mother In Law's Cat Sits On The Post Like This And Judges The Neighbours

Image credits: TooleyOTooley

#56 Been Chilling

Image credits: laraib0110

#57 Long Cat

Image credits: Bun_Of_Steel

#58 Looong Kitten

Image credits: nothin_but_Net

#59 The Law That Makes Your Face Round When You Stretch Your Body

Image credits: tatsuroff_neko

#60 I'm Taller Than You

Image credits: 0102minoru

#61 I Was Laughing Alone While Taking A Picture Of Pan

Image credits: aims2koz

#62 Super Long Cat

Image credits: Maria Theochari

#63 Exhausted After A Long Day Of Being A Cat

Image credits: VigilantLance

#64 My Aunt's Cat Doin A Big Stretch

Image credits: strawberrytainted

#65 Ok Not Sure What She’s Trying To Do Here But It’s Cute

Image credits: queerrrcat

#66 Long Cat

Image credits: -funny_cats-

#67 Compete Liquid Phase Established

Image credits: mrs-mort

#68 That's Gonna Stain

Image credits: who_is_desmond

#69 My Kitty

Image credits: smittycoco

#70 Shadow Is My Beautiful Grey Chonk, And Zelda Is The Weird Noodle Draped Over Her. This Picture Is Taken A Couple Years Old, From When Zelda Was An Adolescent Spaghetti

Image credits: jenrldisarray

#71 My Cat Isn’t Allowed On The Counter, But He Likes To Push Our Limits

Image credits: politicalpug007

#72 Our Cat Loves A Good Stretch

Image credits: adhere2

#73 Barivel Is The Longest Domestic Cat In The World

Image credits: barivel_maine_coon

#74 White Furry Serpent

Image credits: cha_cha.2.0

#75 I Have No Idea Why He Lays Like This

Image credits: wearekinetic

#76 After A Long Day Of Discovering New Planets

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#77 Every Time My Dad Stretches, Our Cat Likes To Join

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#78 Misty Doing Another Pose But Her Sister Luna Photo Bombed It And Her Face Says It All

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#79 My Long Boi

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#80 Long Cat

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#81 It's A Caaat

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#82 Olivia Is A Long Cat

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#83 Elliot Is A Long Boi (3,5 Months)

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#84 Sup

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#85 Goblin Cat Sploot

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#86 A Small Orange Waterfall From Our Cat Tree

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#87 He’s Out Cold

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#88 Is This A Cat Or A Noodle?

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#89 Mr. Whig Does Stretchies

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#90 This Is Definitely A Victory

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#91 It Stretches And Grows On Its Own

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#92 80cm In Full Length

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#93 He Seems To Think I Bought The Sofa For Him

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#94 He’s A Liquid

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#95 Took Beans To The Vet, And They Confirmed He Is, In Fact, Liquid

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#96 Penny Did Her First Sploot Today

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#97 A Picture My Sister Took Of Our Lengthy Boi

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#98 Longest Splooting Kitten? Foot For Reference

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#99 Someone Dumped This Baby On My Boyfriends Parents Porch Right Christmas. She’s Currently Melting By The Fireplace

Image credits: jinkouu03

#100 A Nice River Flowing On My Couch

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#101 Girl, In Partial Longcat Mode

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#102 She Straightens All Her Feetsies When She Sleeps

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#103 Cleo Just Got Her Laser Exercise

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#104 Stretchy Stretchy

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#105 Yes, I’m Totally Fine, Why You Asking?

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#106 Another One Of Misty With Her Question Mark Tail

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#107 Is This A World’s Longest Kitten?

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#108 20 Minutes Into Netflix And Chill And He Gives You This Look

Image credits: bobbythdazzler

#109 Luna's Loooooong After Play-Time Sploot

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#110 Not Impressed With Having To Take Yet Another Recreation Of The Same Pose

Image credits: omar_mainecoon

#111 Large Cat Standing On Kitchen Counter To Look Into Cupboards

#112 Long Kitty

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#113 My Long Cat

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#114 My Primm

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#115 One Long Kitty

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#116 George Is A Long Cat

Image credits: jenniferthielen

#117 My Manx Cat, Riley, Stretching Out As Much As He Can

Image credits: RhombusCoon

#118 Long Cat Is Long

Image credits: meowmomma

#119 Long Cat Is Long

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#120 Worried About Leaving Eevee Alone For 4 Hours For The First Time, Came Back To This

Image credits: Drewbix

#121 My Long Boi Miles

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#122 Just Got My Cat Fixed. They Gave Her Some Long-Effect Pain Meds

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#123 Honey The Cat Sploots

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#124 Trying To Clean Up My Mess

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#125 Stretching To Infinity And Beyond

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#126 I Spilt My Cat All Over Myself While Watching TV

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#127 A Sprawled Boi

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#128 Hamock Time

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#129 Ferdinand The Loooonng Boi Joined Our Fam A Week Ago Today

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#130 Snake Cat

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#131 Long Cat Holding Hands

Image credits: 295DVRKSS

#132 My Newly Adopted Cat, Apollo

Image credits: amackenzie44

#133 Bloop

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#134 Always Watching Me Get Ready In The Morning With Curled Feetsies

Image credits: tickledtoucan

#135 This Is Not A Stretch, He Is Just Laying Like This

Image credits: SyckTycket

#136 He Wants You To Look At His Belly. No Touch. Only Look

Image credits: mollycool

#137 This Was A Cute Pic Of My Cat, Sausage, Stretching Until She Yawned

Image credits: yamma66

#138 I Dont Know What To Say, But Cats Are So Cute

Image credits: Corine Akshir

#139 She’s Tiny But Loooong

Image credits: deersurgeon

#140 Long Girl Is Long

Image credits: OpticGandee

#141 Longcat Is Long

Image credits: Moyrog

#142 Longcat

Image credits: Miquz

#143 Had To Do Long Distance For 5 Months And Fiancee Took The Cat. Finally Moved In And Socks Hasn't Left My Side. She Has To Be Touching Me At All Times

Image credits: Fear_Jaire

#144 She's Blind And Has A Crooked Tail But She Is The Most Adventurous Cat I Know... Meet Bocella (Yawning And Stretching!)

Image credits: iwbwikia_

#145 Slinky

Image credits: kchot

#146 Long Cat Having A Rest

Image credits: Jparm

#147 The Cat Bridge

Image credits: qdequelen

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cloudpools · 7 years

Text

⚜Fantasy Verse: Sun Child (D&D Edition)⚜

⚜ I figured since I’ve been kind of busy, I’ll give some highlights from my D&D games the past two weeks where I played as Darla. Just to show that I’m here, and still thinking of my babies.

Our merry band consists of Treos the Human Ranger, Sploot the Half-Orc Fighter, Dek the Elvin Monk, Alooph the Halfling Bard, Volod the Half-Orc Warlock, Ircova the Tiefling Warlock and last but not least, Darla the Human Cleric.

The group starts off with only Al, T, V and Darla to start (because half of the whole group didn't show up lolol Also, these are Darla’s nicknames for them. And they have stuck with the group so she’s done her job well). And we begin our tale wandering through a swamp.

In the first 15 minutes of our first session, Darla caused the death of one of her own party members. Poor little 2-foot tall Alooph requested that someone carry him through the swamp where the group was stranded from a shipwreck of unknown cause, and of course Darla volunteers. And of course when she spots hooded figures in the distance she wants to be their friend. And of COURSE Alooph wants to get off this crazy train, but Darla doesn’t want her dear friend to fall off. So she rolls against Alooph for a grapple check and of course she wins. And the hooded figures turn out to be mean and shoot arrows at them. But not just any arrows. POISON arrows. They miss Darla, because damn she’s lucky. But Alooph is one hit KOed from an arrow to the chest. Darla still feels p bad about that.... Woops. But in the end, they kill the snake people after a VERY long battle.

Al lives and V decides to carry him instead. T instructs him to hold Darla’s hand as well to keep them from getting into any more trouble. Darla wants to be carried by V. V tells her that “Everybody gets one.” (I write that down for later use.)

I think it’s worth it to mention that both Alooph and Darla have an intelligence stat of 6. Which is very very bad (-2 from their roll for any check they do for intelligence PFFFFT). Also, Alooph is a coward and hates battle. So every fucking battle he runs up a tree and plays his mandoline to inspire his party members (Also, the guy that plays him brings an actually mandoline with him and plays it and it’s fucking amazing.) Everyone else who’s currently in the party is also pretty stupid.

So.

We get nowhere fast. Our quest was to retrieve scrolls for some other stranded people on the beach. We find the two snake men who stole them. The DM feels bad for us because of our last battle and cuts the snake people’s health in half saying they’re sick. T knows we’ll probably fuck this up so he convinces us that we’re practicing hitting targets. And we shouldn’t run away or run right into them. We should just shoot them with our bows, and the targets, the non-living targets, will give us prizes for each arrow we hit. Darla convinces Alooph that he could sneak up to the “targets” and get the prizes first. He agrees. Rolls a perfect 20 and makes it all the way behind them without them noticing. All hell breaks loose. We murder them. Alooph of all people gets the scrolls. The team decides to interrogate a half dead snake man. Darla sits on him and demands to be told if there are any other friends nearby. The snake man begs for death.

Fast forward one night and Darla and company happen upon the rest of the party in the swamp fighting some more lizard people. Among them is Darla’s childhood friend Dek, who she’s nicknamed Leaf because they climbed trees together as children and played in the Dark Wood. Dek is love. Dek is life. Dek is the straight man of our group that keeps Darla reigned in and is her voice of reason. Thank god.

There’s also Sploot. Who doesn’t tell anyone his name. But since Dek suggests that Darla give him a name since she’s so good at it. And seeing as how he fought with ONLY axes in the last battle, she calls him Axe. Appropriate.

And finally. Leggy. How did Ircova become leggy? Well. He has no fucking legs. And is floating with his warlock magic ring of levitation. And Alooph and Darla decide Leggy is a nice name for him. And they call him such. And he very much does not like it. But.... OH WELL.

Then they make it to a nearby town. And of course Darla and Alooph are ushered away from the group so the adults can talk with the guard about actual quest stuff. THOUGH, it’s thanks to their two MORONS that they all got in the city in the first place! The guardsman at the gate liked them. But was quick to persuade them to leave upon talking to them for two minutes. Darla and Alooph demand that their friend V come with them. V wants to die. Darla climbs on his shoulders. Everybody gets one. Alooph climbs on Darla’s shoulders. They ride off into the sunset.

They head for the local tavern, where Darla and Alooph decide to put on a performance. They’re so great, that the innkeep offers them and their party free lodging as long as they play/sing/dance every night they’re there. Darla decides to buy everyone in the bar a drink and wants one herself because she’s never had one. She runs to Dek who tells her if she drinks that, she may do risque things that she will regret, and she doesn’t think it’s worth it. She chucks the drink.

Axe decides to gamble. And wins. He also finds their next place to travel to: the guard’s barracks. He showed off his sick orc muscles and got in to see the head commander who told him he’d give him 500 gold to kill some cat burglar lady. He accepts. Tells the team the bounty is 100 gold. Darla and Alooph are interested in gold. They are stupid. And decide everyone will get 100 gold. And Axe says no. They will get their fair share. Which they both squabble on about what that means. And they come to the decision that yes. They will get half of the hundred. 10 gold a piece. Math is hard for them. And then Axe tells Darla she can get food as payment instead. And she fucking agrees. T is angry about this. The only reason he learned the goodberry spell (which is literally a fucking spell where he can conjure 10 magic berries in his hand that give 1 hp each and that give you enough sustenance for one day) so that he could bribe the dumb ones with the promise of presents and treats.... RIP T. This worked out just as well as the target/prizes game did.

#⚜Sun Child⚜#⚜Fantasy Verse: Sun Child⚜#⚜D&D⚜#⚜Hiatus⚜#((I love everyone #((Everyone is so great

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