#Growing from the depths
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“李相夷已经死了。。。李莲花也快死了” - Episode 38 of Mysterious Lotus Casebook (莲花楼）
When even rebirth isn’t enough sometimes
please read Three Autumns by @rageprufrock
#This also proves I have style range okay haha#Zoom in on LLH for extra sadness#mysterious lotus casebook#莲花楼#Something something lotus symbolism#Growing from the depths#But he still FUCKING DIES UGH#li xiangyi#li lianhua#mlc#llh#mlc spoilers#cdrama#my art#di feisheng#mlc fanart#fic rec
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Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep - A Fragmentary Passage - Depths of Darkness
#kingdom hearts 0.2 birth by sleep a fragmentary passage#kh0.2#depths of darkness#realm of darkness#my gif#they did a good job making the realm of darkness look distinct from the realm of light#because this place really does feel like nowhere we've ever been before#the rocky pathways with no sign of organic life make me feel like i'm on the moon or an alien planet#it's interesting how fallen worlds feel like they're all stitched together between areas like this#aqua can simply walk from place to place without needing a ship or keyblade glider to fly her to a new world#though who's to say how long it takes her to do all of that#as if the realm of darkness is one big ever growing expanse of land without any known boundaries between worlds#we know that all worlds used to be connected in the realm of light long ago and i'm guessing that's the case in the realm of darkness#it's never been split or fractured by keyblade wielders so it still follows its own rules and laws of nature#that'd be pretty interesting#we see this area start as a rocky wasteland that transitions into flat sandy terrain from the destiny islands#but you have to walk through a huge blinding light to get there first which is really unusual#it makes me think of how terra and aqua were guided to destiny islands by a bright light#and how destiny islands appears as a ball of light on the world select menu in bbs#but why portray it that way? we've been shown before what the world of destiny islands looks like from afar with the CoM world cards#and it's not like they even needed to include it on the world select screen in bbs because it's not a world you can even visit on your own#i don't know what it's all supposed to mean yet but#i believe the islands are more significant than we know at this time and this game continues to raise a lot of questions#it's certainly called 'destiny' islands for a reason
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couldnt decide on drawing fish or horsies
#the first one is bc I was totk infodumping and I was like yoo what if the other races lived in the depths at some point too#like. there are statues that depict each of the races but no evidence they actually lived down there#it would be so cool if we had stories of Zora that lived in the depths and changed from being in the dark for so long. like their scales#glowed and they grew long fins to feel and smell in the dark. we could have Zora based on deep sea creatures#the other one I wanted to do was depths rito but there are so few documented nocturnal birds. even less people associate with darkness#so it would have been mostly owls but maybe kiwi and nightjars. rito are so hard to draw#the other thing I was thinking was they evolved again and turned into bats. theyre pretty damn good at evolving so why not#but then my brain was like horsies. so I drew bat fluttershy#I want to give her a bat nose and membrane.. apparently the mane 6 turn her back but she grows a fang. but I also want her to have bat#wings under her feathers. like it looks like normal Pegasus wings from the outside but the inside is lined like a bats wing with membrane yk#femoral membrane and leaf nose also. maybe she gets quieter flying and better night vision plssss#discord also for fun but I wanna stylize him tmrw#my art#myart#doodles#mlp#my little pony#mlp fluttershy#mlp discord#loz#botw#totk#botw zora#eye contact#scopo
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everybody stay with me im shifting back into speculation & analyzing mode, this time about everybody's favorite pair of besties. ill put this under the cut for everyone's sakes
and please, take all of this with a Hefty grain of salt.
so ive been... thinking about a thing. a maybe-possibility. which if this has some merit, the part of me that loves characters having a good time and feeling good feels is screaming in fear. but the louder part of me that loves angst and hurting characters is rubbing its little fly hands together.
short version: i think Barnaby is going to emotionally distance from Wally, if not outright grow to resent him. maybe temporarily, maybe not.
full version: *cracks knuckles* strap in folks. so.
first of all, an entire chunk of Barnaby's bio is dedicated to his character relation to Wally. everyone else only has one-off lines dedicated to their relationships to other neighbors - even Frank & Julie just have single sentences about each other (note that they're described as "partnered with" and "depicted with" respectively. more on that soon). even Wally's bio has his Barnaby mention tacked onto the end of his first paragraph instead of being its own dedicated section
and then there's their character designs - their bios explicitly point out that they share characteristics; color schemes, hearts on their soles, similar outfits.
they were made to be best friends. literally. this quote is what made me start turning this theory over in my mind (sourced from @ /theneighborhoodwatch's collected & absolutely fascinating livestream trivia)
it appears that Barnaby literally did not have a say in whether or not he and Wally are friends. their bios even say "illustrated pages note that they were best friends multiple times." they have to be best friends.
which brings us back to Frank & Julie. they briefly reference each other in their bios, but they aren't described as best friends. it's incredibly likely that they were meant to be a romantic couple - i briefly covered that theory in this post (dont read the first one i was going insane) but they managed to avoid that. Frank and Julie defied the script and chose to be best friends instead.
and then in the trivia document a few more character relationships are briefly touched on, like how Howdy considers Barnaby a close friend, and Sally considers either Barnaby or Poppy as her closest friend, etc.
everyone else seems to be choosing who they're close with. they're forming their own opinions and dynamics and relationships. & its interesting that Barnaby is stated for both of these - as if implying that he may return the friendship feelings, or at the very least he's developed enough of a relationship with them to earn their affection
Barnaby and Wally... i doubt they ever got that. they were best friends from the start, no development, no choice. it's written into them.
and then there's how their relationship has been portrayed so far. i believe i saw an ask where Clown stated that Barnaby is very polite to Wally, which struck me as odd. have you ever had a polite relationship to your best friend? have you ever seen best friends be polite? i'd be surprised!
best friends mess with each other! they tease and rib and roast! what is a best friend for if not mutual tomfuckery?! jesting around? playfully pushing boundaries? a Polite best friendship... that's a straight up oxymoron. no such thing. that sounds boring and exhausting.
not only that, but the fact that Barnaby is often used for Wally's painting segments, and is the go-to guy for teaching Wally something new, is kind of concerning. it gives me the vibe that a big part of Barnaby's literal reason for existing is to be Wally's friend & guide.
which would make the fact of him being described as polite to Wally make sense. of course he's not going to push their relationship or try to deepen it - he's forming his own dynamics with the other neighbors. with Wally... it's already established. that is how they are with each other. that is what they are to each other.
and it's not like Wally can be the one to introduce nuances. i don't mean that as a slight or anything - he's just the way he's been described and the things stated about him that make me think that he wouldn't really... know how to? it just wouldn't occur to him. he probably thinks his and Barnaby's relationship is what a best friendship is and is how it should be.
but they have to hang out. they have to refer to each other as best friends. and while i believe that Wally does wholeheartedly think that they're best friends, close as can be... i doubt Barnaby feels the same. like - yes, he probably does care about Wally. everybody likes Wally.
but it's gotta be frustrating for Barnaby, especially as time goes on and he becomes more himself as a person over just being a character playing a part. it probably stunts his relationship growth with others, since his ~best friend spot~ is already taken and who would want to encroach on that? especially since its taken by Wally mcfuckin Darling?
their friendship might become less of a role and more of a responsibility. Barnaby might grow to feel obligated to stick with Wally as his "best friend". someone invites Barnaby to hang out and/or help with something? sorry, he has to pose for Wally's painting. Barnaby is trying to do his own thing? sorry, Wally is knocking on the door and asking for help with something.
i wonder if Barnaby ever hopes that Wally will go to someone else, or feels relief when he does. and then does he feel irritation/guilt over that denied hope or that granted relief? then does he get angry at himself for those emotions?
how would this effect how he treats Wally and acts around him? this confusing muddle of emotions and this strange growing resentment for his painfully earnest friend who only ever means well, if he means at all.
it makes me curious whether or not this theory has merit. and how this could come to a head. what would Barnaby, in this situation, do if/when he discovers that they're puppets on a set, and he's literally written to be Wally's bestie while everyone else changed their scripts and chose their own relationships.
personally, i don't think he'd be happy, and i doubt he'd handle it well.
#holy Shit this was tough to translate from my brain#i literally wrote it all out in my head while in the shower#and then i went to get it down on 'paper' and it was Tangled To Hell And Back#*taking a break from art*#brain: soooooo we're bored now. lets overthink and share these thinkings#welcome home theory#welcome home speculation#SERIOUSLY THOUGH IM SCARED FOR BARNABY AND WALLY#mainly for wally bc Ouch it would hurt him to have their relationship sour#barnaby getting resentful and wally not understanding why his best friend is acting differently towards him#and PLEASE keep in mind that im mostly talking outta my ass here#but like.... ugh#barnaby looking at wally walking over one day and feeling the urge to turn away or groan in irritation/exasperation#him posing for a painting and wishing he were anywhere else.#him wanting to be closer with other puppets but unable to bring himself to try bc of the Guilt#everywhere he turns hes called 'wallys best friend' and asked 'wheres wally? hes usually with you' when hes alone#and hearing 'if you want to find wally/barnaby go look for barnaby/wally. if you see one the other isnt far away'#that has GOT to get on his nerves over time#this constant stagnation of their relationship while everyone else is evolving and growing. hes Stuck.#even julie & frank who were written to be together find a way to circumvent that and add so much depth and uniqueness to their relationship#if you want a happy side of this. it could lead to barnaby & wally being really truly besties#barnaby could have an arc about thinking 'holy shit it was all fabricated. Fuck that and Fuck you[wally]'#and then going 'holy shit i Do actually love and care about him[wally] and i want us to develop a real meaningful friendship'#BUT WHO KNOWS who knows not me!#also it must be tiring to constantly have to explain his jokes and so many other things#bc wally Is a curious guy! he wants to learn!#but maybe barnaby just wants to have an uninterrupted conversation but he Cant bc wallys just built different#not said as a bad thing At All.#just... people are complicated. sometimes we have mean thoughts/emotions that conflict with what we really think/feel and our morals#we're only human. everyone is mean sometimes if only in our heads.& yeah theyre technically Puppets but lets not get caught up on semantics
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Home
Quickly put this together today, I hope you like it! I'm really happy with the textures and emotional storytelling in this :3
#pmatga#pacman and the ghostly adventures#pacster#cylindria#pmatga fanart#art#my art#pmatga comic#Here I am with another ramble on the show and its ✨missed opportunities✨#Cyli grew up surrounded by nature (from what was alluded to at least) since she grew up in a treehouse#and I'm choosing to believe that her family's treehouse was actually not the stereotypical wooden box held together by branches and screws#but an actual livable house that's big enough for a family of four that just happens to be built into a big tree#anyway so Cyli clearly cares for nature and has a sentimental attachment to it#and going to Maze High in the city meant that she's been far away from home for the longest time ever#You can't tell me she won't get homesick from time to time#She WAS shown to feel a bit embarrassed about growing up in a treehouse though#so perhaps she hides it well and just pretends to not care over it#but deep down she misses that treehouse dearly#So missed opportunity from the show to explore her background in a bit more depth like WHY she cares so much about nature#because to her#nature is her home
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it’s so weird to think that ryuji was only a major character in one canon game. like he’s such a strong character with such a strong personality it doesn’t feel like he was only prominent in one canon game at ALL. he feels almost as ever-present and beloved as someone like daigo and yet he’s basically never even mentioned after kiwami 2. that’s so crazy to me.
#am I saying bring ryuji back? yes. end of statement#same goes for mine to a slightly lesser degree. and somehow yokoyama agrees with me on both of these I think#I am biased in a way because I am one of the few who has been lucky enough to play dead souls but. yeah#those two are also just good examples of antagonists that are almost comically malicious but still somehow have depth under the surface#and redeemability. in a way. not saying mine bulldozing an orphanage is Forgivable im saying he Did start to have a change of heart at the#end of y3 so he’s Capable of change and whatnot. and ryuji’s just a bully who takes his feelings out on other people usually physically#like he’s very much a teenage bully in the body of a gigantic adult man.#cause he never had to grow out of that. no one challenged him/his views/etc enough to do so. until the end of yk2#AND IN DEAD SOULS ITS JUST A FACT THAT HES GROWN AS A PERSON AND MATURED.#it’s somehow a DRASTIC difference in personality from him in yk2 and yet still believable because of how much in his life had to change#and because he is like. the adult version of the previous ryuji. I know ryuji was already 30 in yk2 but you get my point. he wasn’t grown up#not really. (same goes for daigo- they’re such obvious foils for one another it’s so interesting and I wish it was explored more but ANYWAY)#ryuji#yk2#rambling
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really do not agree with some of these takes from the vc fandom concerning the show only fanbase
#at this point y’all#some of it just seems mean spirited#like whyyyy does it matter SO MUCH to some of y’all that newcomers are show only?#why can you not just…be happy the fanbase is growing??#and this is not directed at anyone in particular#I’m just…#i’m over the comments about the show only crowd. i really am.#why do you think they’re unable to grasp the complexity of what they’re watching#and yeah i have legit seen some blogs say this#even critizing them for reading the fanfics but not the books like…can we relax?#is iwtv a college level course with required reading now? lol like???#the show is not the same as the books and it’s perfectly fine for people to engage with one and not the other…#having a different perspective bc you have read the books is absolutely fine but like#having knowledge from the books doesn’t mean that your interpretations and opinions concerning the show are more valid or superior#i have had three more anons in my inbox talking about this and it’s starting to drain me#let! people! enjoy! the show! without requiring some in depth meta knowledge from the book#okay…tag rant over <3#iwtv#vampire chronicles
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something unique about haikyuu is that it’s a coming of age story, but not just a coming of age story for teenagers. the adults are still growing and learning and juggling everything life throws at them. takeda-sensei seems like a composed, smart grown-up, but he still has to deal with the feeling of being ostracized by his colleagues. coach ukai seems like an intimidating authority figure, but that doesn’t stop him from being pushed around and spoken over by his family. it makes the show that much more comforting because not everyone’s arc finishes right after high school. also, it hugely adds to the show’s rewatchability bc you can see yourself in new characters as you get older.
#i was listening to when i grow up from matilda and this occurred to me#i love that the adults aren’t generic grown ups and they actually have some depth within their own lives#haikyuu#ukai keishin#takeda ittetsu
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My apologies to chance for calling it necessity.
My apologies to necessity if I'm mistaken, after all.
Please, don't be angry, happiness, that I take you as my due.
May my dead be patient with the way my memories fade.
My apologies to time for all the world I overlook each second.
My apologies to past loves for thinking that the latest is the first.
Forgive me, distant wars, for bringing flowers home.
Forgive me, open wounds, for pricking my finger.
I apologize for my record of minuets to those who cry from the depths.
I apologize to those who wait in railway stations for being asleep today at five a.m.
Pardon me, hounded hope, for laughing from time to time.
Pardon me, deserts, that I don't rush to you bearing a spoonful of water.
And you, falcon, unchanging year after year, always in the same cage,
your gaze always fixed on the same point in space,
forgive me, even if it turns out you were stuffed.
My apologies to the felled tree for the table's four legs.
My apologies to great questions for small answers.
Truth, please don't pay me much attention.
Dignity, please be magnanimous.
Bear with me, O mystery of existence, as I pluck the occasional thread from your train.
Soul, don't take offense that I've only got you now and then.
My apologies to everything that I can't be everywhere at once.
My apologies to everyone that I can't be each woman and each man.
I know I won't be justified as long as I live,
since I myself stand in my own way.
Don't bear me ill will, speech, that I borrow weighty words,
then labor heavily so that they may seem light.
— One Small Star, Wislawa Szymborska
#forgive me distant wars for bringing flowers home....#I apologize for my record of minuets to those who cry from the depths#PARDON ME HOUNDED HOPE THAT I LAUGH FROM TIME TO TIME#pardon me deserts that i don't rush to you bearing a spoonful of water!!#my apologies to EVERYTHING that i can't be everywhere at once!!!!#😭😭😭😭#this poem is .....#yeah#forgive me distant wars....#poetry#growing and hoping
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You learn to live with it, learn to love it if you can (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Dexter Favin#I 👏 want 👏 ZEX 👏 to be 👏 happy!! 👏#I want him to be hale and hearty and living his best life!! I want him alive and well!!#Professional Take-ZEX-Out-of-Situations-er* *(Not actually paid to do this I just feel very strongly about my volunteer work)#Lol#To do with my love towards Max as well? I'll never tell (yes)#Thinking about a ZEX that managed to get back up on his feet with Dex et al's help and start to make a life for himself#Gets into human fashion and goes back to school and makes friends and kisses people <3 It makes me happy#It's not a complete blank slate-start over but if he was able to come out from under everything - persevere - I'd like to see what he'd be ♥#It's also enjoyable to think about his rise out of pain into something neutral - and then from neutrality to something positive#Going from constantly being afraid and isolated and sad and lonely to a kind of passive disinterest#Very much the stages of grief#Coming up into acceptance - I wonder how isolated he would feel from his life as Admiral ZEX :(#Moments where he's still very far away. Our scars never really leave us they just fade little by little#And some things that he'll never get to experience as a human like depth perception and parallax haha#But still <3 Growing into what Max never had the chance to be ;;#Still not making his parents ''proud'' or whatever |P Dex just happy he's showing initiative and y'know - interest in existence#I do like the idea that he still calls him DAX - the one thing he can't give up completely - but it becomes something like an inside joke#A painful one but a kind of wink and a nod that they both Know#Things will never be the same but they're both taking each day as they come - together#Hhhhh even just little bits of happiness ;; I just want them to be A Little happy
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hashtag Justice For Susie btw
#Calvin and Hobbes#I always knew one day I would grow up and Calvin and Hobbes discourse on the internet....#<- barely discourse. more like basic acknowledgement of Bill Waterson's failings in depicting girls as having the same kind#of rich inner complexity and depth of feeling as boys. and also the whole 'teehee he bullies her cus he#likes her' thing. like A) not very surprising its a strip from like. the 90s (?) and B) I wouldnt care abt it as much if I didn't love the#strip as much as I did when I was a kid. so. still. I hope Susie and him never get together actually I hope she gets an awesome girlfriend.#anyway in my ideal Calvin and Hobbes fanfic -
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if annabeth is one of your criticisms of the pjo tv show i hate you i'm killing you go to jail for 10000 years
#'shes just a flat girlboss with no depth' DID YOU WATCH THE SHOW WITH YOUR EYES.#DID YOU WATCH THE SHOW THAT LAYS OUT CLEAR AS DAY HOW SHE NEVER GOT TO BE A KID#AND THAT SHE HAD TO GROW UP TOO FAST#DID YOU ALL NOT FEEL SHRIMP EMOTIONS WHEN SHE WAS PICKING OUT CANDY FROM THE GAS STATION STORE#JAIL! JAIL FOR TEN THOUSAND YEARS.#pjo
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#persona 4 golden#p4g#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#i think a lot about the depth of yosuke's loneliness - away from th distractions of the city and losing even the superficial r/s that he ha#of course he would hate inaba#the moment he arrived in the town he was treated as an enemy for reasons he couldn't control#junes did destroy local businesses and the townspeople's fear of big chain capitalism is justified#BUT their treatment of him was not. i wanna say that the people in inaba were awful but actually theyre just... people.#they couldnt fight Junes or engender systemic change so they take it out on him instead and ostracize him with names and tacks in his shoes#and to add to that all of his already existing self doubt and identity issues#and the problems of growing up as a teenage boy in the early 2010s figuring out his place in society#i think yosuke is very similar to kanji in that both of them have that same struggle of their self being misaligned with social expectation#so they play up this exaggerated caricature or image based on who they think they are supposed to be#in kanji's case it's an image that lets him control his rejection - he looks like a scary gang member so ofc no one wants to be near him#in yosuke's case he goes in the opposite direction of desperately wanting to fit the mould or image of a typical teenage boy#except there isnt such a thing as an “average” teenage boy so hes just such a mess sometimes#but masking so that hes accepted by others as just a teenage boy and not the prince of junes or anything? yeah.#haha my heart#he's good with his queue
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I tried listening to Olivia Rodrigo and I'm sure this is really good for its target audience of Teen Girls Going Through A Breakup but has she actually ever put out a song that isn't about a guy cheating, breaking up with her and moving on to someone else?
like babe he's not coming back it's been 2 years you gotta find something else in your life
#red said#it's not to my taste. tbh#content aside pop music is going through a very early 2000s breathy oversinging phase#hated it with xtina and alanis hate it with ariana and olivia sorry#it's a personal taste thing but to me however hard you go with the backing track that kind of soft pretty vocal style kind of#drags it back into midtempo sludge for me#also tbh it's just extremely normal music. like i went over to her yt bc people were talking about how Weird vampire is#it's not though????? it's super not????#anyway the only one I've got anything out of is good 4 u cause she sounds more involved and less self-pitying on it#every other Olivia song I've heard sounds kinda the same bc they all have the same earnest self-pity vibe#which is what a lot of people need out of music! music that makes them feel the depth of their anger and sadness!#but idk it's never done it for me i like there to be something of a tongue in cheek or a hysterical edge#i think most of the songs I've heard from her are just too controlled and polished for them to not sound to me#like she's the person who sees you crying cause your partner is in hospital and goes YEAH I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL#MY EX CHEATED ON ME 5 YEARS AGO AND IT REALLY TRAUMATISED ME AND I'M STILL NOT OVER IT and then you have to comfort her#like i recognise she's a 20 year old making music for teenagers so that is. appropriate.#but i struggled with the wallowing then too. were i a Teen at school with Olivia's character i would be so desperate to tell GROW UP#and it's not the lyrics it really is the music#heartbreak is a perfectly good theme to write on but oh my god not every song about it needs to be a mouthful call to arms
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this is going to be a strange post bc im complaining about something that i technically headcanon so just bear with me.
the canon evidence that gets tossed around in regards to buff/strong (whatever you wanna call it) varian is that because he worked on a farm, he would have buffed up or have hidden strength. which might be true in some cases, but as person who did physical, manual labor out in the sticks growing up and currently does martial arts for fun...that's not really how that works tbh.
if you're someone who's doing constant lifting, then yeah i can see that, but by the time varian is 14 he's not even working on the farm anymore. he's on the run from the law, and then he's in jail, and then he's working as the royal alchemist.
also this might be my httyd roots showing, but i always got the vibe that varian was kinda like hiccup in that he would be more inclined to invent something to do the work for him faster and smarter rather than doing things the orthodox way.
i def don't headcanon varian as this tiny weakling who can't do shit and i think it would be hilarious if he could deadlift hugo, but y'all know we can just headcanon that without screeching HE GREW UP ON A FARM HE HAS HIDDEN DEPTHS
#broke: varian is strong bc he worked on a farm#woke: varian is strong bc i said so#bespoke: varian is strong bc he's the only character holding up the tts fandom#THIS IS SUCH A WEIRD THING TO BE UPSET ABOUT IM SORRY#BC I LOVE THE HEADCANON THAT VARIAN CAN JUST LIFT HUGO LIKE HE'S NOTHING#but whenever i see it coming from HE WORKED ON A FARM im like. did he.#ANYWAY#varian#varian tts#the only hidden depths varian got from growing up on a farm is his redneck accent send tweet
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Finally. Someone who agrees that how to lose the time war was over hyped.
what really kills me about it is that i was SO psyched to read it because I'd been seeing quotes for years and everyone around me was hyping it up and then I read it and I was like oh. this is fine I guess.
#part of the problem is that it just wasn't the genre for me#but i think also like. one of its fundamental issues#is that it's relying on the willingness of the reader to believe in its central conceit—#i.e. that red and blue are deeply and truly in love with each other from the beginning.#and as someone NOT willing to believe in that conceit.#as someone who wanted proof of their growing love more convincing than admittedly banger love letters#it just sort of fell flat#which like. constraints of epistolary format. i understand why it would have been hard to do what i think it needed to do.#but still. i think without any convincing reason for me to believe in the solidity and genuine depth of their love#the rest of it just couldn't hit#but I'm a hater what else is new#asks#sometimesthedragonwins
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