Me and the main Kaiju's as incorrect quotes
- Note -
Monarch = Me
Shipping and nonshipping quotes
Lost of swearing... probably
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Rodan: Why is Monarch making me do the dishes again? You haven’t washed them in a week, Godzilla!
Godzilla: It’s because I’m Monarch’s favorite.
Rodan: I hate you.
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Monarch: I told Rodan to grab snacks for everyone.
Mothra, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?
*Monarch, Rodan, and Godzilla raise their hands*
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Mecha: If I say yes am I joining a cult?
Rodan: Possibly.
Mecha: I’m in.
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Ichi: ARE YOU-
Monarch: Fucking.
Ichi: KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Monarch: Fucking.
Ichi: IDIOT!
Kong: …What was that?
Monarch: Scar king banned Ichi from swearing, so I’m helping them out
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Monarch, ordering coffee: I’d like a light roast.
Scar king: You're kinda ugly.
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Mecha: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.
Kong: I sleep with a axe.
Monarch: Both of you are pathetic.
Mecha: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?
Monarch: Godzilla.
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*Ichi is casually searching around the room*
Ni: Hey Ichi, what’re you looking for?
Ichi: My will to live.
*Monarch walks into the room*
Ichi: Oh, there it is.
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Mecha: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—
Monarch: Hi.
Mecha: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*
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Ni: I am working on this whole Good Guy thing, but anyone who cuts me in line at Starbucks deserves to have their kneecaps shot out, okay?
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Mecha: Kong, I have a great idea.
Kong: Let’s hear it.
Mecha: We trick Shimo and Ichi to go out on a date together.
Kong: YES!
Kong: And hey, if that doesn’t work out, maybe you and me could go out, get some drinks—
Mecha, hitting him with a book: THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU
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Monarch, at Godzilla: You're my significant other.
Godzilla: Yeah I am!
Monarch, signing at Jia: You're my child.
Jia, signing back: Yes mama.
Monarch, at Ni: You're my bitch.
Ni: Yeah I am- wait, what?
Monarch, at Kong: My bestie.
Kong: Naturally.
Monarch, Kevin: HA, GAY!
Kevin: Fuck you.
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Monarch, at Godzilla's funeral: I need a moment with them.
Everyone: Of course. *They leave*
Monarch, leaning over Godzilla′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.
Godzilla: Yeah, no shit.
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Scar king: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic.
(This was before Shimo's gender was confirmed to be female.)
Shimo: Wow, they really hate us.
Shimo: But we’re not gay, Scar king.
Scar king:
Shimo:
Scar king: We’re not?
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Scar king: Do you always have to attack me with your words?
Godzilla: Would you prefer me to use a brick?
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Kevin: Ichi, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?
Ichi: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later.
Kevin: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask Godzilla.
Ichi: Wait- Kevin, no-
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Godzilla: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart?
Monarch: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!
Godzilla: Mean.
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Kong, talking to Monarch: With all due respect, which is none…
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Ichi, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Monarch: Gray.
Mothra: Grey.
Ichi, turning to Scar king: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Scar king: Dark white.
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Godzilla: If I die, you can have what little I own.
Monarch: Wait. What do you mean "if" you die?
Godzilla: My unending existence is fuelled by pure spite, that of which the painful experiences of life have rendered me full.
Monarch:
Monarch: *Sighs* Let me call your therapist again.
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Godzilla: Do you want some tea?
Monarch: What are the options?
Godzilla: Yes or no.
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Godzilla X Kong: How it Should Have Gone
GxK is definitely a step above it's predecessor. Actually, it's several hundred steps, if I say so myself. Aside from improving on every aspect that felt lacking before, it also gave us the glorious return of everyone's favorite Queen of the monsters (well, it almost didn't, but that taught me the value of test audiences). HOWEVER, just like everything about Godzilla in this film and the last, I felt that his and Mothra's reunion was a little too rushed. I had a feeling it would be that way well before I saw the film, so I said to myself "if you want something done right, do it yourself.
And so, I did. And I threw in some good Mothzilla angst for good measure. And frankly, I'm darned proud of it. Anyone who wants to give it a dub is welcome to do so (with proper crediting, of course)!
Here's hoping that Adam Wingard decides to finally put the monkey away for more than five minutes and give Big G's character a chance to shine in a way that doesn't involve fighting in the next movie (no offense to Kong at all, but I think his really good story is told, it's done).
So, who wants to hear my pitch for a "Godzilla X Mothra" story?! Haha, just kidding. Unless...
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