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douglysium · 7 months

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Demon Saber: Yasuke (Full Profile)

*Note that all information in this profile is subject to change at any time.

Class: Saber

True Name: “Yasuke(弥助)”

Nickname(s): Yasufe, Yisake, Isaque, Weapon Bearer, Demonic Weapon Bearer, The Obsidian Samurai, The Hand of Innovation, Demon Saber, Demonic Saber

Characteristics

Species: Heroic Spirit, Human

Gender: Female(Is fine with male pronouns though)

Height: 192cm/1.9m(6ft 3in)

Weight: 82kg(180lbs)

Blood Type: Unknown

Place of Origin: Unknown(Somewhere in Africa)

Birthday: Unknown

Age: Unknown

Personal Information

Addresses self as: Watashi / Boku / Ore / Ware

Likes: Wrestling, Swords, Innovation, Telling Stories, Listening to/Reading Stories, Oda Nobunaga

Dislikes: Traitors, Having to deal with sneak attacks, Outdated Traditions, Akechi Mitsuhide

Talents: Swordsmanship, Bodyguarding, Combat Strategy, Martial Arts, Learning new things

Natural Enemy: Akechi Mitsuhide

Image Color: Red, Black, and Dark Green

Affiliations

Oda clan

Oda Nobunaga

Oda Nobutada

Family Members

Unknown

Servant Stats

Type: Heroic Spirit

Source: Historical Fact

Region: Japan

Alignment: True Neutral

Hidden Attribute: Man

Armaments: Wakizashi, Katana, Matchlock Pistol, Armor

Known Summoning Catalysts: A piece of an old painting, A piece of her helmet.

Qualified Servant Classes

Saber

Obviously, Saber is Yasuke’s most natural and preferred class. “What kind of samurai doesn’t know how to use a sword?” In this form, she wields a sword gifted to her by Nobunaga.

Archer

Considering what Yasuke is known for, having her be eligible for the Archer class is quite surprising to many. As Nobunaga’s weapon-bearer and an expert warrior, she has had the opportunity to learn how to use many different weapons. Nobunaga even gave her some of her guns at one point as a gift “As much as I appreciate the sentiment even I have to admit that giving someone like me guns is… an interesting choice for a present to say the least. Although, they ended up coming in handy, so at the time I just didn’t understand the full picture.” As an Archer she dual-wields two of Nobunaga’s guns as Anti-Divine and Anti-Mystery Anti-Unit Noble Phantasms that deal extra damage to servants with higher divinity and/or mystery. However, she is unable to make them levitate or summon a near endless amount in the same way Nobunaga can. She also wields a special mechanized bow that fires flaming arrows.

Lancer

“Being both a weapon-bearer and a handpicked warrior can come with perks every once in a while.” Turns out a spear was also gifted to Yasuke as a weapon at some point. It resembles a spine in appearance and can both bend and extend in length.

Assassin

“I’ve mastered many different styles and seen many forms of combat.” She considers Assassin to be an awkward class to be summoned in. As an Assassin, she mainly relies on her martial arts skill.

Berserker

Interestingly, as a Berserker Yasuke, despite using a sword, favors hand-to-hand combat. Her fighting style is that of many different forms of martial arts and she uses various wrestling techniques at any given opportunity. Her fighting style consists of using her sword to get close to or disarm an opponent before fighting them in hand-to-hand combat. Once she has beaten them she will usually try to finish them with the sword or go for another round.

Many of her moves are famous wrestling moves and she gladly takes the role of a heel. “If I serve a demon then I must be a heel.” Despite the Madness Enhancement, she can be pacified by turning on a wrestling or martial arts program, but this only works if there are no foes left to fight.

Shielder

At one point Yasuke learned how to use a shield in order to be the best bodyguard she could be. Although, it is definitely not the weapon she is most competent with and she is restricted to protecting one or two people at any given time. She considers it unwieldy

Avenger

As an Avenger she manifests as a time in her life in which she was a ronin or a wandering masterless samurai. She wandered not only Japan but also the world.

Gunner

“Well, of course, I can be a gunner if I wield some of Lord Nobu’s guns.” In this form, she can actually make the matchlock rifles she has float in a similar manner to that of Nobunaga. However, she still has way fewer guns being limited to ten. Her matchlock pistol also becomes a weak Noble Phantasm.

Parameters

Strength: A

She has been described by many as incredibly strong, as strong as ten men even, so it is only natural that she has a high strength stat.

Endurance: A

“I must be able to keep vigilant for as long as possible.”

Agility: B+

Her reaction speed and agility when on the defensive are decently high.

Mana: D

Luck: A-

NP: E - EX

Class Skills

Magic Resistance: B

Cancels spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for them to be affected. She has apparently fought a few mages on a couple of occasions. However, it was nothing too powerful, at least according to her. She is capable of blocking spells that are A-rank and below with her katana Noble Phantasm if they have a small enough radius. It does not completely protect her from any explosions or similar sorts of aftershocks that result from the spell, however. This aspect of her Katana pairs well with her defensive fighting style.

Riding: C

At C Rank it allows her to manage beasts and vehicles if she has received the proper training and adjustments. Most vehicles and animals can be handled with above-average skills. However, she cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts. Due to the fact that she does not have an anecdote of riding anything special or worth mentioning, she receives a lower rank in this Skill for a Saber. She is a quick learner though.

Personal Skills

Guardian Knight: C

A rare skill that grants the Servant a temporary attribute bonus if acting in the defense of others. In Yasuke’s case, it grants her a boost in her defense and reaction speed when protecting someone she has tasked herself with defending. “A bodyguard’s greatest threat is an impeccable defense?”

Presence Detection: E-

A somewhat unusual skill for someone like Yasuke to have. At such a low rank it only allows her to detect when a servant is attacking her or someone nearby and when a magic spell is targeting her or someone nearby. Although, it does not tell her where the assault is coming from, forcing her to rely on her other abilities to avoid such an attack. It also nullifies any Presence Concealment that is of equal rank or lower. In some sense, it can be considered a form of insurance against mages and assassins. Its rank is higher when she is summoned as a Shielder.

“When you’re a bodyguard you have to be ready for all kinds of sneak attacks.”

Reduced Earth: E+

“I’ve picked up a few martial arts tricks.”

It is a technique that cuts down the distance between opponents instantly. However, at such a low rank it only allows her to move a “few extra steps” or meters. So she mainly uses it to throw opponents off during battles or to essentially “jump” short distances. It’s effectiveness seems to increase when she is moving in to protect someone or something.

This skill would be a much higher rank if she was summoned as an Assassin.

Protection from Arrows: D

A skill that grants an increased defense against ranged attacks by predicting the projectiles’ trajectories through exceptional means. In Yasuke’s case, it allows her to dodge slow moving projectiles and helps lessen damage she would take from projectiles she can’t avoid by either catching them or ensuring they don’t hit any of her vital organs. Apparently, this skill is one of the tricks she picked up on her travels.

Mind's Eye (True): C++

A skill that allows for a calm analysis of battle conditions even when in danger and deduces an appropriate course of action after considering most possibilities of how to escape from a predicament. In Yasuke’s case, it is leagues more effective when dealing with a sword-based attack or opponent and it’s somewhat more effective when dealing with someone utilizing hand-to-hand combat. It also becomes more effective when she is considering how to protect someone or something.

Charisma: C++

A skill that increases the ability of allies during group battle. In Yasuke’s case, it is at C++ Rank because of the status Nobunaga granted her and the apparent popularity she had. It is at its strongest when concerning defensive formations and stances. It also seems to gain strength if she is the center of attention.

Noble Phantasms

Hasebe II: The Powerful Cutter- D- - A(Anti-Unit and Anti-Unit(Self)), Maximum Number of targets 1

A short katana that was gifted to her by Nobunaga. It was a sword that was eventually used as a ceremonial one before being given to Yasuke. She ended up naming it after Nobunaga’s sword after being unable to come up with a completely original name after thinking about it for a good week. To this day she still spends time trying to come up with cool sword names and will run them by her Master on such occasions.

An unmentioned fact is that it is actually a demonic sword, albeit one that is normally very weak. It is also symbolic of Yasuke’s status as Nobunaga’s weapon-bearer, bodyguard, and retainer. Thus it boosts Yasuke’s Strength, Endurance, and Agility stats along with her Eye of the Mind(True) by one rank at the cost of decreasing her luck by one rank when using the sword to defend someone. If she kills someone with this weapon it becomes more powerful for a period of about 24 hours by temporarily harvesting the soul of the one she has killed. During this time the Noble Phantasm becomes one rank stronger at the cost of lowering Yasuke’s luck stat for the duration of this period. It also causes the blade to become bigger. Which can make it awkward to move in enclosed spaces. It maxes out at A-rank(requiring four souls to reach that level). However, this factor of the sword rarely reaches its full potential in battle since Yasuke doesn’t like to go around killing random or innocent people just to make it stronger. It can still give her some sort of advantage when fighting one opponent after another. Due to being a ceremonial sword, its rank has a somewhat low starting point.

By releasing the sword’s true name it becomes a full-length Katana with a blade made of a red “beam” energy. While in this form the gemstones on the sword and its scabbard glow. It has a special ability that allows Yasuke to actually withhold any damage the sword might deal in this form until later. This means that Yasuke can strike an opponent and then wait until the time is right before choosing to have the wound take effect. When someone is struck by this sword without being damaged any cuts or stabs that would normally appear manifest as seemingly harmless glowing marks instead. Also, the sword’s True Name cannot be unleashed on Nobunaga herself. If she were to attempt to hurt Nobunaga with the blade it would simply pass right through her(not that she would even dream of doing such a thing anyway).

“Behold the manifestation of my status and skill. Hasebe II!!!”

Nyuyoku Buredo: Wash away Their Facade- C+(Anti-Unit), Maximum Number of Targets- 1

This Noble Phantasm can be described as the recreation of a very famous moment. It is a Noble Phantasm that is tied to Yasuke herself and thus it can be used with any blade or sufficiently sharp object she is wielding, no matter the quality. Although, it is more effective if the blade is well built.

When the true name is released it covers the blade in a vortex of water that acts like a high-pressure water cutter. It boosts the sharpness and effectiveness of the blade to that of a Noble Phantasm if it is not one already.

However, its true purpose is that when an enemy has their actual body physically struck by the blade they will be forced to reveal their True Name, Parameters, skills and Noble Phantasms, and Yasuke will immediately be made aware of all these things even if she is in a situation where she can’t hear them for whatever reason.

This Noble Phantasm can be used to make it seem like her Wakizashi is a Noble Phantasm unless the enemy is paying close attention.

“With this water, I will wash away anything that covers your true self. Nyuyoku Buredo: Wash away Their Facade!!!”

The Head of Nobunaga: The Battle has Yet to End- E-Ex(Anti-Unit(Self)), Maximum Number of Targets- 1(Self)

Before Nobunaga died she entrusted Yasuke and Ranmaru with taking her head and delivering it to her son, in order to prevent it from falling into enemy hands. Yasuke considered it the ultimate form of trust and believed she would not fail as long as Nobunaga was with her. This Noble Phantasm is a manifestation of that.

Luckily it manifests as a red crystalline skull, as opposed to a literal head because according to Yasuke “That would be too creepy, even for me.” It resembles a demonic skull, and when active its eye sockets are filled with an illusionary blue fire while allowing Yasuke to gain one of Nobunaga’s Personal Skills as long as this Noble Phantasm is active. She can use this to catch an opponent off guard or temporarily gain new abilities.

By releasing this Noble Phantasm’s true name she can summon any of Nobunaga’s weapons, be they Noble Phantasms or not. However, she is limited to only being able to summon one weapon at a time and she cannot do things like make guns float. So her use of these Noble Phantasms tends to be much more limited in scope.

This Noble Phantasm’s final ability allows Yasuke to recreate the act of safely delivering her friend’s head with Ranmaru by sacrificing the Noble Phantasm. By doing this Yasuke can recreate any one of Nobunaga’s Noble Phantasms in their entirety, with potentially floating guns and all. However, this can only be done once since the sacrifice of the Noble Phantasm is a must. This Noble Phantasm is not restricted to just the abilities, weapons, and Noble Phantasms of Archer class Nobunaga, rather it can utilize these things from any class that Nobunaga would be eligible for under normal circumstances.

Whenever the skull is used it will announce the name of the ability, weapon, or Noble Phantasm Yasuke is drawing upon with Nobunaga’s voice

Oddly, this Noble Phantasm will not manifest if Nobunaga is currently summoned or “alive” in any way. So if both Yasuke and Nobunaga were to be summoned into the same Holy Grail War, or if Yasuke was summoned in an era where Nobunaga was still alive, Yasuke would have the Noble Phantasm sealed away until Nobunaga dies.

“As long as Lord Nobu san is with me I will not… no... I CANNOT fail. BEHOLD THE HEAD OF NOBUNAGA”

Misc

Wakizashi- Yasuke wields a Wakizashi and will sometimes dual-wield it with Hasebe II. Unlike Hasebe II it is not a Noble Phantasm but it’s much heavier than a normal sword and its sharpness and quality easily surpass that of any normal weapon. On rare occasions, Yasuke will throw this weapon to catch enemies off guard.

Matchlock Pistol- She tends to only use this weapon to catch opponents off guard, deal with non-servant opponents, distract opponents or draw the attention of opposing servants. It is not a Noble Phantasm and while it is leagues above a normal pistol it isn’t too effective against most enemy servants and has to be reloaded when it runs out of ammo.

Armor- Yasuke wears samurai armor that resembles a strange blend of armor from the Sengoku period and that of a ceremonial Japanese Ground Defense Force uniform. The mask she wears is helpful for hiding her identity. It is also capable of altering her voice as long as she wears it.

One thing of note is due to her many travels and love of stories she is pretty good at determining the identity of servants from many parts of the world. She usually needs to at least see a servant’s Noble Phantasm to even begin to make an educated guess and even hearing the name of someone a servant met may be enough of a clue to help her narrow down the identity. However, she is still fallible and one can trick her into coming to the wrong conclusion about a servant’s identity or they can simply keep their identity and life details under tight wraps. She would also have no way of guessing the identity of any servant that came after the time period in which she was alive. So she would be unable to guess the identity of any servants that are modern enough or from the future.

Background

A lot of Yasuke’s background is wrapped in mystery due to a major lack of proper records when concerning her life before serving Nobunaga. Whenever asked or pressed about most of the gaps in her life she usually just says “That doesn’t matter. Not anymore at least.” What is known is that she did have some sort of sufficient combat experience and training before meeting Nobunaga. There is much speculation about where she is from and she admits that she doesn’t remember where she was born. Although, she refuses to say anything about where or who she was raised by. When it comes to the many speculations surrounding where she was born she simply says “If you can name it I’ve probably been there at least once.” She is someone who has definitely traveled to many places, and she says out of all them when excluding Japan she spent the most time in Mozambique “but that isn’t saying much.” She has also been to places like South Sudan, Ethiopia, and many others.

Yasuke was brought to Japan as a bodyguard and former slave tasked with protecting an Italian Jesuit priest named Alessandro Valignano in 1579 and excelled in learning new things, such as the Japanese language, very quickly.

She eventually came into contact with Oda Nobunaga. She went on to quickly impress Nobunaga with her strategic mind and fighting prowess and was thus made a samurai, bodyguard, and weapon-bearer. While making a foreigner a samurai-like this would normally be odd, to say the least, Nobu, as a King of Innovation, was not bound to traditions or tactics she considered needless.

Yasuke and Nobunaga had many talks and Yasuke often regaled her with stories and experiences from all around the world, and as they grew close Nobunaga granted her many things such as houses and the like. One of Yasuke’s most treasured presents from Nobunaga was an ornate ceremonial katana. This katana was surprisingly a relatively weak demonic sword and it lacked a name. When asked about the gift’s name Nobunaga simply shrugged it off and said something like “Name it whatever ya want.” After about a week of being unable to come up with a new name she eventually just decided to name it Hasebe II after one of Nobunaga’s swords. The name was meant to be a symbolic placeholder but it ended up sticking. To this day Yasuke is still trying to come up with a cool name that’ll knock Nobunaga’s socks off. Yasuke went on to hang out, and sometimes even eat, with Nobunaga and various members of the Oda family

Everything changed however when Nobunaga was betrayed and attacked by an army led by one of her retainers Akechi Mitsuhide. Yasuke valiantly fought against Akechi’s forces. However, it was clear they were going to be overwhelmed. Nobunaga was eventually defeated and committed seppuku with Mori Ranmaru acting as her kaishakunin by cutting off Nobunaga’s head. Before her death, she tasked both Ranmaru and Yasuke with returning her head to her son after she died while Ranmaru was given the task of burning the rest of Nobunaga’s body and Yasuke with protecting both Ranmaru and the head as they made their way to Nobutada. This would prevent Akechi and/or his army from obtaining her head or body and it was a great sign of trust. To this day Yasuke considers it one of the greatest signs of trust she has ever received. She is not absolutely sure if this trust stemmed from some sort of friendship or a strictly pragmatic trust in her abilities but to her, it doesn’t matter.

“Let me put it this way. If the first option is true then that means I was a good friend until the very end and if the second option is true then it means that she actually understood my abilities, and knew the place I came from didn’t matter.”

She managed to follow through on her promise to Nobunaga and delivered her head to Nobunaga’s son. She ultimately chose to fight with Nobunaga’s heir, Oda Nobutada and fought alongside his forces during the final battle.

After the loss, Yasuke was captured by Akechi who considered Yasuke a foreigner unworthy of being killed. He went on to say that he would at least think about changing his mind about the statement if Yasuke died with dignity by committing seppuku. Yasuke refused and Akechi decided to send her “back to that temple of barbarians,” with the said temple being a Church. Akechi did not care what happened to her after that.

The records of what happened are lacking but Yasuke fills them by saying that she managed to escape after losing her sword, becoming a ronin that wandered around the world.”

“I am loyal to lord Nobu and care about Japan because she cares. You should make sure you have an actual connection to people and aren’t just serving a transient country for no reason.”

Akechi would eventually be defeated by Toyotomi Hideyoshi but Yasuke still wants a chance to get her revenge on him.

Appearance

Usually clad in an armored uniform and a large red cloak that helps obscure her true identity. Although, she does take her mask off on occasion when relaxing, taking a breather, or when she is dealing with kids since many people find the uniform’s mask menacing.

Even when her mask is off she is constantly vigilant and on guard, not letting herself lose focus for even a second.

When not wearing her uniform she is extremely tall, has dark skin, and has a lean body type. She has short dreads that have red tips.

Personality

By default, she talks in a respectful manner but will swear and talk down to someone for whom she has lost respect. Most traitors fall under this category but she does not automatically hate all people who choose to abandon their allegiance to someone nor does she inherently hate all acts of betrayal. “There just needs to be a reasonable justification for it and not hurt those I care about.”

She is a quick learner of most things and adapts to new situations quickly. She loves to talk but “does not talk without purpose” and can thus come off as quiet when she has nothing to add. When she begins to talk a lot she is usually asking questions, educating someone, giving advice, or telling a story of one of her adventures. She is also just as fond of listening to the stories of others as she is telling her own.

While she does hold some level of respect for laws and power structures she is always questioning them and will not follow them without thought. If they do not hold up to scrutiny or serve no purpose she does not usually care to follow it or what other people think of her ignoring it.

While for the most part, she will follow any orders a superior gives her, she will ignore any order that puts her, her master, or friends in danger. However, if she has a strong enough attachment to someone or deems it strategically necessary she may be willing to risk her life for them.

While she doesn’t go out of her way to attract attention she is not one to “waste the spotlight.”

Yasuke’s ways of thinking are about as flexible as Nobunaga’s but more bound by common sense. Despite that, she still trusts Nobunaga’s judgments and when asked to do unusual things will just say “I suppose I just can’t see the full picture yet.”

During a Holy Grail War Yasuke is uncomfortable with leaving her Master’s side unless absolutely necessary. She considers Masters to be too strategically important to be left without any means of protection. “Besides, it plays to my strengths as a bodyguard.” Likewise, she will gun directly for other enemy masters if given the opportunity. Yasuke is also unafraid of incorporating or utilizing modern technology to her advantage and using all aspects of the terrain to gain an edge.

She enjoys reading comedy and gag manga/comics in some of her free time.

Servant Interactions

Nobunaga(Archer)- She has great respect for “Lord Nobu chan” and trusts her judgment. She enjoys spending time exchanging stories with her and is willing to fight for her at a moment’s notice.

“Lord Nobu, with your long-range attacks and me staving off close-ranged attacks we’ll be almost unbeatable.”

Nobunaga(Avenger)- Yasuke seems to have great respect for each of the different versions of Nobunaga.

“I’ve served many Nobunaga and they all have such interesting stories to tell.”

Nobunaga(Avenger) Third Ascension- “You got taller...”

Nobunaga(Berserker)- “A swimsuit? ...Maybe I just don’t understand the full picture yet…”

Mori Nagayoshi- “Lets show any traitors the full power of our wrath.”

Mysterious Ranmaru X- “I know you’re not quite the same Ranmaru but… thanks for the help… I owe you one.”

Okita Souji(Saber)- She is in awe of Okita Souji’s swordsmanship. “It’s kind of strange that such a natural counter to Lord Nobu is always showing up around her.”

Okita Souji Alter- “The story of how you came to be is interesting.”

Okita Souji(Assassin)- “If I had a jetpack like that I could perform all-new strategies and techniques thanks to the aerial mobility it provides. I just have to figure out how to get my hands on one of those.”

Oda Nobukatsu- They are both willing to give it their all in support of Nobunaga.

“Just so you know Nobukatsu. I can also protect you if need be.”

“If anyone disrespects Lord Nobu they will have to answer to both of us.”

Chacha- “If you ever need help sleeping I can regale you with one of many stories.”

Master Swordsmen- “Those movements… I wonder if I can incorporate them into my style”

Sakamoto Ryoma- She respects him as someone who embraces innovation and doesn’t limit himself to useless or self-defeating traditions. Although, she does find his outlook a bit overly optimistic at times.

Oryou- She’s a bit nervous about the fact that Oryou is a powerful dragon from the Age of Gods. if she’s friends with Ryouma she must not be a monster or anything.

Okada Izou- “I put up with you more than I should…”

Despite not outright saying it, due to not wanting to deal with any negative reactions he might have, Yasuke sees a bit of herself in Izou. As someone, she could have become her life gone a little differently, a warrior who can only kill. Not everyone seems to understand the tragedy of a warrior who can only kill but she hopes that one-day Izou can find his own “Lord Nobu.” Due to all this, she is more willing to put up with Izou’s bad attitude than most other people are but occasionally has to draw the line when his manners get too atrocious.

Akechi Mitsuhide- “Eat shit and die...”

She is waiting for the perfect moment to strike him down.

Muramasa- “If you get the chance do you think you could upgrade my wakizashi into some sort of Cursed Sword or something. Oh and if you can give it a cool name too, like god slayer, or something…”

Samurai- “Your skills are befitting of your status”

Hang Tuah- She has great respect for his loyalty and sees a bit of herself in him. She considers him a bit naive, however.

“This is a servant who understands the importance of not leaving their master unguarded.”

“I say we should defend to the best of our abilities, with your invulnerability and my bodyguard skills, Master could be almost untouchable.”

“You’re lucky to have Taming Sari with you.”

Julie d’Aubigny- “Well I’m not one to waste the spotlight either…”

“Her charisma reminds me of the good ol’ days.

Damarchus/Karna Santa- “Y’know I know a thing or two about boxing too. Just don’t take my head off please.”

Damarchus- “I’m willing to spar with you if you refrain from using your wolf form.”

Genghis Khan- “The sheer effectiveness of your battle tactics reminds me a bit of Lord Nobu’s. I can see why you guys get along.“

Oryou(Avenger)- “A world where one doesn’t have the other sounds quite scary for multiple reasons.”

Yasuke does seem to have an understanding of this version of Oryou’s plight due to her understanding of the importance of “human” bonds.

*Hang Tuah, Julie d’Aubigny, Damarchus, Genghis Khan, and Oryou(Avenger) are all fan-servants created by MochiBoni, Omegazplayer and Paisen respectively. You can check them out on Twitter. And here are the profiles for each respective servant

Hang Tuah- https://docs.google.com/document/d/12mjNkmjnhIIeLgGRvSlVVLhRQqWd4cbEDygfQHSLPCg/edit

Julie d’Aubigny-https://twitter.com/Omegazplayer/status/1416650069206573057?s=20

Damarchus- https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jArzQOnAWnvSv8MRelYSl1x5DZj-gUndaBmPtO74icw/edit

Genghis Khan- https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BbeM2KDRc1h2ti3xgzD52pTQXJZiL7B6FVIfuC19WFg/edit

Oryou(Avenger)- https://twitter.com/_paisean/status/1487720881124085762?s=20&t=VKNtelIYD5mRXWxflaC-iA

Martial arts users- “Hmmmm, we should spar sometime. I could definitely learn a thing or two from you.”

Wrestlers- “I know a thing about wrestling too. Don’t be afraid to go all out against me.”

Quetzalcoatl- “I’m happy to play the part of a heel if you need one.”

Miyamoto Musashi- “I’ve been to many places… but going to a whole nother world is far beyond me.”

Dialogue examples

“Class Saber, True Name Oda Nobunaga... Oh, you’ve already met her? Then I am Yasuke.”

“Get behind me, Master.”

“How about Lighting Cutter, No. That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Damn, all the good sword names have been taken.”

“These remind me of that time where… Actually, I’ll just tell ya later.”

“Alright you piece of shit, you’ve officially lost all fucking respect from me!!!”

Death Lines

“So this is what it’s like to die in combat...”

“Stay safe Lord Nobu san...”

“Please run… Nobunaga”

Wish for the Grail

“Well if Lord Nobu was there then I would just trust her to make the best wish so I would let her have it… but if she wasn’t there I would wish that I was strong enough to win that final battle for her…”

Fun Facts

If she was playable in FGO she would be a 4 star servant.

In FGO the Head of Nobunaga would act as a skill that would increase her defense and give her a random buff based on Nobu’s Personal Skills and Noble Phantasms at random.

She would have good compatibility with a master like Kiritsugu Emiya. However, she would not be among one of his most compatible servants.

She would have terrible compatibility with someone like Shirou Emiya since protecting him would put an immense amount of stress on her.

Her Magic the Gathering alignment would be center Blue-Red-White and secondary Black.

If she was in the Epithet Erased universe her Epithet would be Armory.

If she was in the Hunter x Hunter universe her nen type would be Conjuration and her hatsu would be similar to Knov’s and revolve around storing and summoning various types of armor and equipment.

She is pansexual.

Her overall servant rank is around B+.

Ranmaru also has access to Nobu’s head as a Noble Phantasm(at least they would if I designed them).

She carries Hasebe II with her at literally all times.

Her favorite Pokemon are Kabutops, Golisopod, and Samurott.

If she had a Pokemon type she would be Fighting and Dark.

If you want to see my thought process and inspirations behind Yasuke’s design you can see it here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pt-paxkKpp7jrJv05aqC4luS-4LRpjTv3M2r_3SzUKA/edit

Visual References

#fate #fgo #fanservant #yasuke #fate fanservant

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hlficlibrary · 1 year

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Soulmates are rare, the sort of rare that means everyone has a story about a friend's sister's coworker or a brother's roommate's cousin. But the fact of the matter is that most people never meet theirs. It's unfortunate then, that Louis finds out the hard way that he met his soulmate in a club, and the guy never texted him back.

2️⃣ Compass to my Soul [T, 31k]

Harry Styles, alpha, is 1/4 of the perfect pack, and 1/5 of world famous boy band One Direction. He spends his time touring the world with his best friends and family.

Louis Tomlinson, omega, is 1/5 of world famous boy band One Direction. He spends his time hoping his bandmates don’t notice him.

3️⃣ You're like a Sponge (Abrasive and Colorful) [T, 6k]

Harry LOML Styles: Hey, can you recommend your fav shoe stores? Heels Abroad is closing and I know you know some good places

Butterflies have erupted in Louis’s stomach. This is the first time Harry has ever texted him. He glances down at the beat up old Adidas he wore for his run this morning. Harry thinks Louis knows some good places? He trusts Louis’s opinion on something?

Louis gulps, and then coughs up toothpaste, hastily spitting into the sink. Everything depends on this. Harry - Harry Styles - has texted him! Louis can’t mess this up. He has to be perfect. He has to have great shoe store recommendations. He feels giddy. This is it! A turn in their friendship! The toothpaste-y grin firmly on his face, he picks up his phone again just as another message comes through.

Harry LOML Styles:Sorry, wrong person

Oh.

Or, Louis's flirts look an awful lot like insults.

4️⃣ Things Unsaid [G, 4k]

"That chunky oversized sweater is like a clown outfit made for winter."

It feels like time slows down.

Those words echo in his mind, familiar. Why are they familiar? The— the sweater he saw last week. The one with all the knit squares.

The train slows to a stop and Louis just— he doesn’t move. He feels frozen in place as people surge around him. Suddenly everyone is moving too fast and then just as suddenly the car is near empty, taking off again.

The man is gone.

His soulmate is gone.

Or, where you have a tattoo of the first thought your soulmate has when they see you.

5️⃣ Frankincense-ational [T, 31k]

Harry Styles works at the Hillsyde Library with his friend Zayn and best mate Niall. It’s December, which means Christmas, which should be the happiest month of the year…

Except Niall just broke up with his boyfriend, Zayn needs to let up on the rules a little, and the library is getting their fire alarm system replaced, which means that for the next few weeks there are going to be firemen patrolling the library ‘looking for fires’ while the system is down.

Harry almost hits one of them with his car right off the bat - and of course he’s the hot one.

Happy Christmas, here’s to many more.

HIDDEN GEM:

💎 Moon Dances Over [G, 2k]

Louis knows that his tail is, frankly, stunning. His iridescent blue scales shimmer in even the slightest sunlight, and his fins have grown since he presented, delicate and almost transparent in their webbing.

He also knows that that means he’ll be one of the first to pick tonight, as the most beautiful omegas are blessed to pick their mates first. It’s considered a huge honour, since the guppies they’ll eventually birth will certainly be beautiful as well, bringing favour on the whole clan.

Louis has a stubborn streak, though. He’s always been rather a fan of mating for love, and there’s someone he’s had his eye on for a long time now.

#hlcreators #hljournal #hltracks #trackinghome #tracksintheam #1dficvillage #trackinghappily #1dsource #hlsource #yourlarrysource #ficsfor4am #ladylondonderry #londonfoginacup #ficrec #authorrec

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autisticsupervillain · 11 months

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Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Stats Equalized!

The show where we equalize strength, speed, and durability to decide who would win a battle of hax, skill, and versatility.

This Week's Fighters...

Alucard vs Belos!

Conditions:

Pre-Shrodinger Alucard at Level 1 vs Season 1-2 Belos.

Scenario:

After successfully discovering a way back to the Human Realm, Belos is disgusted by the way human society has changed over the years and vows to find a way to rid humanity of all this "heathen filth". To start, he first targets the Protestant vampire hunter organization of Hellsing, viewing their practice of using the monsterous Alucard as a weapon as a personal insult as he thinks fellow Protestants should "know better" than to rely on such an unholy monster. Alucard views Belos with disgust as he watches the witch hunter try to slaughter his Master's guards.

"I've killed a lot of monsters in my day, but they were all at least aware of what they were. There is no creature more loathsome than a man who sacrifices his humanity for power and doesn't even realize what he's lost."

"For power? I am a witch hunter. Every sacrifice I've made was made was done to protect humanity from monsters like you."

"You want to see a monster like me? Look in the mirror. You're not the only beast to try gorging itself on souls."

"Whatever it takes to protect humanity from evil."

"Then perhaps I should educate you on what pure evil is capable of!"

Analysis: Alucard

Vampires. Some of the oldest monsters dreamed up by mankind. Ever since Bram Stroker's classical novel, we've seen numerous iterations of his iconic vampire king. None, however, can claim to be as deadly or as terrifying as Alucard, the undying enforcer of Hellsing.

Vlad Dracula was born as a tormented slave, spending most of his life being horrifically abused by his masters. When God refused to answer his prayers for mercy, Dracula decided to take life into his own hands. Becoming a vicious warlord, Vlad would impale countless thousands in his campaign to conquer all of his enemies, earning the moniker Vlad the Impaler. As he was to be executed, Vlad drank some blood off the grounds of the battlefield, forsaking his humanity and becoming an undead monster of the night.

Count Dracula's reign seemed unending, but eventually his bloody crusade was brought to heel by vampire hunter Abraham Van Hellsing. Respecting the level of strength and resolve that brought him to heel, Dracula swore loyalty to the Hellsing family name, becoming Alucard, the undying enforcer of the Hellsing Organization. A monster who hunts other monsters.

Alucard is quite easily the strongest vampire in the world. Alucard has killed thousands of monsters and millions of people over the course of his hundreds of years of undeath, not helped by Hellsing running experiments on him to make him even stronger. Even by the standards of his series, Alucard is less a vampire or moreso a vampire shaped Lovecraftian nightmare, and the most damning evidence of that is in his shapeshifting.

While Alucard does possess organs like a human does, he's in actuality made of a shadow-like substance that he can morph into any shape he desires. He can freely change his clothes, age, gender, and even sprout extra limbs. And if he encouters a particularly tough or tasty looking foe, he can shapeshift a giant dog monster out of his body, lovingly named Baskerville, to devour his prey whole and alive, keeping their mind, body, and soul trapped inside him forever.

What's more, while regular vampires can regenerate from getting shot to pieces, Alucard's is on a whole nother level. Decapitation, dismemberment, getting shredded with lead, or getting cut clean in half, Alucard comes back from it all. This is because Alucard has something his fellow vampires don't.... the souls of millions of his victims wriggling around inside him. Alucard has personally drank the blood of over 2 million people over the course of his life, absorbing their souls and memories in the process. Whenever Alucard takes a blow that would otherwise kill him, he uses up one of these souls to heal him from whatever did him harm. As such, Alucard in most fights just stands there with a shit eating grin while his opponents helplessly tear into him. He'll grow back whatever you do to him and your souls will replenish his stock just fine when you're done.

Don't think that this means he can't rip into you straight back. Alucard carries two massive handcanons longer than the average man's forearm, the .454 Casull and the Jackel, powerful enough to blast any vampire to pieces, while the silver bullets helpfully keep them from regenerating. He's a crack shot with them too, as with his Third Eye ability, he can enhance his senses to the point where he can hit bullseyes a kilometer away and see through any illusions you might cast to distract him. And if you're too far away for even that, Alucard can drag you back into range with telekinesis, which is powerful enough to lift an aircraft carrier out of the ocean and bring him the blood of everyone in London for him to drink. That's right, he drank London.

Obviously, this awe inspiring power needs to be controlled. As such, Alucard operates under 6 restriction levels. Levels 6 through 4 are for decimating your average, everyday vampires. 3 through 1 are when he starts getting serious, breaking out Baskerville, growing wings, and tearing you to shreds with multiple limbs. He even breaks out the powers he doesn't use that often, casting illusions to deceive his enemies.

Level 0 is for when he wants to end the world.

Upon activating Level 0, Alucard unleashes all of the souls in his arsenal as a sea of blood soaked zombie warriors to destroy everything in their path. If any of those souls happen to have powers, such as the aforementioned Rip Van Winkle, than the get to use them in his name, a true member of the Count's army.

However, while Alucard is at his strongest in this form, it's also his most vulnerable state. Namely, he can't regenerate from fatal wounds anymore. If one were to destroy his heart in this form, Alucard will die permanently. The man has admitted it himself.

Moreover, Alucard is supremely overconfident, to the point where he often just sits there laughing his ass of as he's torn to shreds. This overconfidence was once exploited by Schrodinger, a, um, Nazi German catboy who exists everywhere simultaneously. That was a sentence.

See, Schrodinger cannot die so long as he can recognize his own existence, as he is simultaneously alive and dead at all times. But, when Alucard inadvertently ate Schrodinger's soul, Schrodinger wasn't able to recognize himself anymore in the sea of souls within Alucard's body, causing Schrodinger, and Alucard by extension, to cease to exist.

Alucard, however, still lived. Even when reduced to absolutely nothing, Alucard was still aware. So, he simply spent the next 30 years killing all the millions of souls inside of him so he could return home to his master's side, undoing his own non-existence and gaining Schrodinger's powers in the process.

The fact that Alucard could survive and kill his other souls even while not existing, implies that even erasing Alucard's entire body entirely might not be enough to bypass his regeneration. If Schrodinger's powers weren't actively keeping him nonexistent, Alucard may be able to come back under his own power from being erased entirely.

Alucard's one true weakness is his longing for death. His biggest dream is that one day, a worthy human warrior will come to end his undeath for good. But, until then, he'll keep slaughtering monsters in his master's name. So, be weary all you who stalk the night, for when Alucard hears your screams, all Hell shall Sing.

Analysis: Emperor Belos

The Boiling Isles are not a kind or welcoming place. The seas and rain boil hot enough to melt a man's skin. Rainbows can turn you inside out. Monsterous beasts roam the land and the closest civilization floats on the corpse of a long dead Titan. Yet, the most dangerous threat any human can face is the mysterious masked witch who calls himself Belos... and the monsterous man he is underneath.

Philip Wittebane was your average 1600s American colonist when he and his older brother Caleb moved into the small town of Gravesfield. They both found themselves quickly adjusting to the town's local culture and practices, developing a taste for witch hunting at an early age as a result. This passion, however, was derailed in adulthood when the brother's happened upon an actual witch. The beautiful sorceress Evelyn who hailed from the mystical Demon Realm captivated Caleb with her beauty and magic, convincing the older Wittebane to follow her to home realm.

Believing his brother to be under a dastardly spell, Philip followed suite to save his brother, only to find the two happily married and expecting a baby. Caleb and Evelyn had genuinely fallen in love. Unable to reconcile his puritanical beliefs with the reality before him, Philip murdered his brother Caleb in a fit of rage and swore to annihilate all witches everywhere. No matter how many years it would take and how many brothers he would have to bury.

As a human, Philip could not use magic naturally by himself. Witches have bile sacks next to their heart that stores magic within them, but humans have no such thing, so Philip had to find alternatives. As such, he taught himself how to use glyphs, using the language of the Titan in written form to harness the magic emitted by his corpse. Other humans use glyphs written on pages or the environment to cast spells, but Philip took a bit of a shortcut. By carving glyphs directly into his own body, Philip could cast magic with nothing but a thought. Similarly, Philip found an exploit in the laws of magic that would allow him to cheat death itself. By feasting on the souls of a witches Palismen, or staff, Philip could live for hundreds of years, feeding off the magic of the thousands of souls trapped within his body.

However, these practices had disastrous side effects on his body, causing him to literally melt alive if he didn't regularly consume more and more Palismen, to the point of eating them to extinction. As such, Philip had a time limit on his goal, so he'd need a little help. Upon discovering the god-like being known as The Collector, Philip used their guidance to master all forms of magic and launch his master plan.

Philip took on the name Belos and set his thousand year plan into motion. Firstly, he would revive his brother as a "Grimwalker", seeking to mold this new version into a perfectly loyal witch hunter to fit Belos' own personal ideals. The corpses of thousands of failed attempts litter his layer, showing how little cares for a brother who doesn't obey his every whim. Then, Belos would create the coven system, convincing every witch in the realm to let him brand them with a coven sigil that seals away their ability to use any magic outside of their covens. Then, finally, he would enact the Day of Unity ritual, using the sigils to suck the life out of every witch on the Isles, killing all of witch kind.

To this end, Belos ironically became the most powerful witch of all time. He is known to have access to fire, ice, and light glyphs, allowing him to blast you with massive flames, create huge mounds of ice, and create floating orbs of light. He can create shields to protect himself from harm, manipulate plant life to his will, and telekinetically ragdoll you with just a thought. His telepathy can reach across his entire palace and his teleportation lets him cross the battlefield in seconds.

However, all of this power has come at a grievous cost. If Belos were to go too long without eating a Palismen and runs out of magic to sustain himselfwith, he'll melt into a rotting green slime monster. While this constant rot has given him the ability to stretch his limbs and shapeshift to a degree, the fact that he has such abilities at all shows how bad his condition has gotten. If reduced to his full on slime monster state, Belos will be forced to possess other beings to sustain himself, rotting away and consuming his hosts into lifeless skeletons for months until he's forced to find a new one. But, even then, he's remarkably difficult to put down, as he could still pull himself back together even after being smashed into a puddle by the Collector. Yet, in this state, his death is essentially garranteed. He'll run out of life to consume eventually and he'll eventually melt away into nothing. A perfect metaphor for the soulless parasite Philip Wittebane is under his benevolent fascade.

Throwdown Theme:

youtube

Throwdown Breakdown:

This matchup is very interesting. Because while both of these fighters have healing factors that make it impossible for them to kill each other, both of them are fighting on time limits, so to speak. Both of them can come back from things like complete liquification, but they require the souls inside of them in order to do so. Once Belos runs out of Palismen or Alucard runs out of souls, both of them will be left vulnerable, allowing the other to kill them.

So, do they have any options to bypass each other's regeneration before that happens? Well, Alucard's silver bullets won't work as Belos isn't a vampire, nor is he vulnerable to silver at all, but neither would Belos's petrification. Alucard could likely just go transparent and step out of it, or sever the limbs that have turned to stone and regrow them. Alucard will likely be taking more hits here than Belos will be, both because he doesn't dodge attacks in character unless he absolutely has to and because Belos's teleportation and telekinesis will make him a pain to get close to and land clean hits on. That's a problem, as I'm not sure who has more lives to burn here. I'm leaning Alucard, as he's roughly two hundred years older and canonically has two million souls inside him, but the body count of Belos's diet is implied to be huge. In that he's nearly driven all Palismen on the continent to extinction through his appetite and even when he has to go without in Season 2, several months pass before he starts showing long term side effects. As such, it would likely take months before these two came anywhere near killing each other. And hypnosis on Alucard's end also wouldn't likely cut it. Not only has Belos shown to have an immaculate control over his own mindscape, but the Palismen have been trying to escape and control it for hundreds of years and he's always been able to keep them suppressed before.

So, that leaves us with the big question. Slime Monster Belos vs Level 0 Alucard.

Here's how I see this fight going down. Both characters start out fighting in their usual way. Belos keeps his distance to attack with spells while Alucard regens through it and tries to shoot him up. Both characters switch tracks after seeing their normal methods fail, with Alucard throwing out Baskerville, only for Belos to teleport out of the way, while Belos uses petrification, only for Alucard to sever his freezing limbs and keep going.

At this point, both would take not of each other's shapeshifting abilities and regeneration and come to the same conclusion. "This guy has made himself immortal by eating souls just as I have". This changes Alucard's approach to the fight drastically.

Assuming now that Belos's immortality works like his does, Alucard goes level 0, knowing that the fight would take forever otherwise and assuming Belos will do the same to counter it, completely delighted at the opportunity fight a full on war. While the range and versatility of Belos's magic is impressive, he's going to struggle to reach Alucard through the wave of two million zombies and will begin getting overwhelmed. The rapid expenditure of his Palismen magic will force him into his slime monster state, especially as this fight takes place outside the Demon Realm and thus he'd only have Palismen to draw on to use magic at all.

At this point, Belos begins assimilating Alucard's army. Given that he was on the verge of assimilating the entire continent of the Boiling Isles as the Titan, I'd argue he could potentially do it and may absorb Alucard upon reaching him. But, that's when Alucard plays his trump card. Calling all of his souls back into himself while Belos is still attached, Alucard reabsorbs his army and Belos along with them, adding Philip's soul to the sea of souls within him to claim victory.

Unfortunately for the Witch Hunter, this fight was always going to come down to who was the hungrier monster.

This Throwdown's Winner is...

Alucard!

#fictional throwdown fridays #stats equalized #hellsing #alucard #the owl house #emperor belos #philip wittebane

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litgwritersroom · 2 years

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Carl NSFW Headcanons

Sex Stats

Didn't lose his V card until uni, so nineteen or twenty. Was dating the girl for a little while. Maybe six months?

Body Count: 3-4. Carl absolutely does not jump in to bed quickly. Frankly I’m shocked he slept with MC after knowing her for so little time.

Boobs or Ass: Legs. Legs legs legs. He’s a legs man. Byproduct - thighs and ass. But it’s her legs that really get him going. Especially when they’re spread for him.

Top or Bottom: Switch.

Dick Size: I actually HC him as having a very, very aesthetically pretty dick. It’s thick, but not too thick. About average in length, maybe a little above. A slight curve to the right.

Skills

According to my research, there’s a long-lost gem scene in Casa Amor that has him going down on her from behind. So uh… yeah, that. *fans face*

Types to code. Probably games. He’s dextrous and he can get her off with his hands with very, very little effort. She probably doesn’t even need to take off her underwear. He’s that good.

What he lacks in experience he makes up for in being selfless as all hell. He will completely lose himself in what he’s doing.

Sex Life

My first thought was shy. Very shy. But… no. If Carl’s at the point where he’s sleeping with her, he’s pretty comfortable with her. And that means he might be…letting loose a little.

Kinks and Positions.

He is big into roleplay. And if he’s roleplaying as a dominant character, you’d better believe he’s doing it properly. When he gets really into the moment, he will not hesitate to take charge. Those big arms are picking her up and holding her legs open. Or flipping her over. See point 1 of ‘Skills’.

Costumes. Please, please dress up for him. Maid? Nurse? Poison Ivy? Sailor Moon? Scary Spice? Get some heels and some thigh-high stockings and he’s on his knees, begging for it.

All the Casa guys love doggy, but Carl especially so. Particularly if it’s over his desk. There is literally no faster way to get him to cum than just bending herself over his desk, no underwear, waiting for him to pick his jaw up off the floor.

When she’s on top, he’s got his feet digging into the bed, pushing back up into her. He loves to have his hands on her, so he’s got them on her hips, angling her hips back and forth on him.

He gets quite sweaty, so I picture him running his hand through his hair, slicking it back off his face. He looks so sexy with his hair pushed back.

How They Like It

There is nothing in this world that will make Carl shut his laptop faster than her calling him from the bedroom. That tiktok challenge where they drop the towel? He’s practically vaulting over his desk.

He’s all logic and reason, and for that reason, he often doesn’t expect to get as turned on as he does. But if she sends him a dirty text, or gets him going at a work function… as soon as they get home, he’s going to have her up on the kitchen counter, her thighs around his head.

Speaking of, he likes to hold her ass while he goes down on her. Holding her to him, rocking her hips against his face. Sitting on his face will do things to him.

The noises he makes if she runs her hands through his hair while he’s going down on her.... dear god.

Under his desk blowjob. While he's in a conference call.

Visiting him at work, pulling the blinds down, and riding him on the floor of his office.

Lives, lives, lives for a blowjob. Under his desk or with him standing against a wall especially. He loves to be able to look down at her and watch her. He likes to her hair into a ponytail, holding it off her face. Added bonus, likes to control her pace a little. He’d be a little shy at first, but if she gets him close, and lets him fuck her face, he’s going to lose control pretty quickly.

He probably whispers her name into her ear. He doesn't like dirty talk from himself, but he loves to hear his girl telling him how much she wants him. It drives him wild to hear her losing her mind.

He doesn’t make too much noise in bed to start with, but as he gets closer, he can’t help it. Soft, gutteral groans, and hissing yesses as he presses his forehead to her, going deeper and harder. He rarely swears, but he might drop a ‘fuck, fuck, fuck’ right as he’s on the edge.

He loves to finish on her back, inside her, on her tits, on her face, in her mouth, anywhere. He’s genuinely not fussed about where he comes. Wherever she wants it, he’ll do it. As long as he gets to look at her while he does.

I a someone else (ravenadottir maybe?) say that his leg always shakes after he cums, and oh my god, yes. Maybe even just one leg, like an involuntary twitch. It always makes his girl laugh, and he smiles at hearing it.

#litg #litg writers room #writers room #litg season 2 #love island the game #prompt #headcanon list #litg casa amor #litg carl #character spotlight #litg character spotlight #hcs

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expirednostalgia · 1 month

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[ mason gooding, cis man, he/him ] — whoa! MARCUS THOMPSON just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for 10 YEARS, working as a BAKER AT BAKE MY DAY. that can’t be easy, especially at only 27 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit FOOLHARDY and ABSENTMINDED, but i know them to be ALTRUISTIC and SANGUINE. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to QUEENS!

Quick Stats !

FULL NAME: Marcus Thompson

NICKNAME: N/A

AGE: 27

DATE OF BIRTH: December 1st

GENDER: Cis Man

PRONOUNS: He/Him

SEXUALITY: Bisexual

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

PLACE OF BIRTH: Fresno, CA

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Parkdale Apartments, Queens, NY

OCCUPATION: Baker @ Bake My Day

AESTHETIC: Flour clinging to your skin and clothes, sunbeams peaking through your curtains, long conversations on the floor at 2am, never really knowing what's going on around you, the taste of sugar on your tongue, trying something new and being okay with failing, the feeling of a breeze on a hot summer day, forgetting your own needs

▷ currently playing —— I'M IN LOVE BY JELANI ARYEH.

Bio !

The only child born to a young couple, Marcus had a fairly normal childhood, with nothing extraordinary standing out to him. Although his house was never full of siblings to keep him company, he never felt lonely as he was always striking up conversations with other kids and making friends fast.

Always running around with his friends or spending time with his grandparents whenever they visited or when he visited and stayed with them in the summer, he was hardly ever present for the arguments his parents would get into, leading him to think things were fine between them.

It was a bit of a shock then when the pair decided to divorce when he was around seventeen. Everything moved pretty fast and before he knew it, he was living with his mom on the other side of the country where his grandparents lived. Still confused about the whole thing, he spent more time with his grandparents, particularly his grandma who he had always enjoyed baking with.

Marcus attempted to go to a local community college following graduating from high school, but ended up dropping out after two semesters. School had never been something excelled in or something that brought him much joy. He worked some odd jobs following dropping out until he landed a job at Bake My Day.

Some time after settling into a job he loved and getting a place of his own, he met his now ex-fiancee and quickly fell head over heels. After being together for a while, the two became engaged and he was ecstatic. Unfortunately, everything ended with him being left at the alter.

These days he's still working a job he loves and is just trying to figure out the rest of his life.

Misc. !

Great baker, horrible chef. One of life's greatest mysteries will forever be how this man is great at the one that requires more precision and horrible at the one where you can wing it a bit more.

Speaking of, apologies to fellow Parkdale residents, the fire department has been called out a couple times while he's cooking. But he makes up with it by giving the people on his floor free sweets when he bakes so...ya win some and ya lose some.

Head empty, no thoughts but he means well so it makes up for it - most of the time. Occasionally it leads to unexpected shenanigans.

The type of friend to be like "remember to take care of yourselves, guys!!" while completely forgetting to take care of one of his own basic needs ajfdshgfv

Genuinely believes there's good to be found in everyone and is the type of person to give out waaaay too many chances. In general has a positive outlook no matter what happens and tries to bounce back quick after disappointments even if it means not fully dealing with the issue.

Super affectionate, the type of person to platonically cuddle and hold hands + just randomly let his friends know they mean the world to him. Generally it's a great thing, but paired with his obliviousness, it occasionally makes certain relationships confusing.

Very go with the flow, just wants to enjoy life and not stress over too much.

Wanted Connections/Plots !

Childhood Friends: People he would have befriended during the summers he came to the city to stay with his grandparents.

Voice of Reason: Since Marcus isn't really one to think anything through, he definitely could use a friend to be his voice of reason. I imagine this is probably the person whose couch he slept on for a bit after he got stood up at his wedding + maybe give him some advice + tough love when it comes to all things involving his ex.

Chaotic Duo: The exact opposite vibes as the voice of reason. Whenever the pair hangout they seem to share one braincell and exclusively make poor decisions but at least they're having fun, right??

Rebounds: Marcus still isn't 100% sure what he wants romantically moving forward so there may have been a couple confusing/messy dates or one night stands following the ending of his very serious long-term relationship.

Neighbors: He lives in the Parkdale Apartments and I just think this could be a fun connection because he's sort of unintentionally a menace of a neighbor to have. Like is he going to get the fire department called out there again, drop off a sweet treat to his neighbors, or blast Linger by The Cranberries late at night.

Ex Fiancée: She got cold feet and stood him up at the altar, ending their 4 year relationship. He'd be lying if he said he didn't still have big confusing feelings about her and the entire situation.

I will probably come back to this and add more unique connections for him but for now here are some general connection ideas <3 (also open to anything so if you have any ideas please throw them my way!)

#boroughs.intro #˖ ࣪ . ࿐ ♡ ˚ . marcus thompson ⟢ intro

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tjemegames · 1 month

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HSR: HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY! 🥳🎉 - TJ's 1st Annual Playthrough Recap

The big day is finally here! One full year has passed since Honkai: Star Rail first launched and so much fun was had. I’m so pumped to officially be starting year two and I can’t wait to see what the Devs have in store for us. Until then, let’s chat about my experience over the last year:

⚠️ Extremely summarized spoilers ahead for the events/storylines of HSR versions 1.0-2.1. Read at your own discretion! ⚠️

Also, apologies in advance this post will be a bit verbose because I don’t know how to stop yapping about this game.

You know the drill; everything is under the cut!

Stats Overview

Firstly, what can I say? I fell absolutely head over heels for this game on day one; I was initially a bit turned off by the combat mechanics when the teaser demos came out — I had a very limited experience with turn-based games at this point (shoutout Wizard101 💀) and was confused about how they were going about it. Suffice to say that my weariness was unnecessary because, as of today, I’ve logged 342 days of gameplay on my main account!

The Astral Express Annual Trailblaze Report (data collection as of 03/31/2024 at 23:59) had some great insight on the statistics of what I’ve done since launch:

My e6 Natasha and I were really doing the damn thing together for so long:

She’s since been replaced by Aventurine (because I was finally smart and pulled a premium sustain) but we had a good thing going for us. Thank you for paving the way, Dr. I won’t forget about all our struggles together.

Prominent Story Moments & My Thoughts on Storytelling

Once it was determined that combat wouldn’t be an issue for me, I immersed myself wholeheartedly into the lore and storytelling that was provided. I absolutely adored getting to know the Nameless better and exploring parts of the cosmos with the Astral Express Crew. We’ve done so much already:

Being coalesced into existence, fending off the Antimatter Legion’s relentless attack, and helping restoration efforts on the Herta Space Station

Becoming Herta’s guinea pig in the Simulated Universe

Dismantling a corrupt leader and freeing the under worlders in Belobog

Keeping the IPC from seizing the entirety of Belobog to pay off the backdated interest on their ancestor's 700-year-old unpaid debts

Foiling the war motivated plots of an Emanator of Destruction on the Xianzhou Luofu

Business Simulator 1.0: Restoring Aurum Alley and making a grown man bark

Becoming the best Ghost-Hunting Content Creator on Ghostly Grove

Getting swallowed by a giant Swarm bug and being fender-bendered by a Knight of Beauty; having to duel him into acquaintance (because he’s just quirky like that) before witnessing him valiantly sacrifice himself for the Express, in the name of “Beauty” (because he’s also a little delulu), and then texting us once to see if we were okay after escaping through the hole he cut in the bug’s stomach. Subsequently, disappearing back into the cosmos without a trace (can you tell that I’m enamored by Argenti?)

Being drugged by Ruan Mei, having to deal with her experiments (I hate that synthetic bug with a burning passion) and becoming a Cat Cake extraordinaire.

Accepting the Charmony Festival invitation and having a “very heartwarming and uplifting” (aha aha-hA 😭) “vacation” in Penacony

And of course, so much more in between all of that but those were the things that stuck out the most to me.

I will say that I am in the camp of people who had to experience the Xianzhou storyline before it was streamlined for comprehension purposes and, as much as I loved it there, there were a lot of missed opportunities and wasted moments in that section of the storytelling. Not a huge fan of games trying to get me to care about something by forcing me into a nonsensical quest line during an ill-fitting moment, thereby muddying my understanding of what’s going on/what the importance of said thing is… But it is what it is, and they slapped a band aid on it for newer players. Hopefully, when we eventually return to the Luofu, they will have a better grip on what it is they want to portray there.

Overall, I’m not too fussed by the story so far. It’s been very enjoyable, extremely satisfying in some parts — a bit less so in others. One of the things that I love about sci-fi/fantasy is the ability to go all out and do pretty much anything you can think of because of the creative freedom that both genres allow. I think we’re just barely beginning to scratch the surface of what the series writers have planned for us.

Simulated Universe & Permanent Endgame Modes

Oh boy, I was almost home free in my drafting of this post when I remembered I hadn’t yet yapped about Simulated Universe, Memory of Chaos, & Pure Fiction. I am so sorry, I will try to keep it short, but I’ve got a lot of feelings about these permanent endgame modes.

Let’s kick it off with the SU. Back in the late summer of ’23 when we had our first bout of dry patches, I did more SU runs than I thought I ever would do because I didn’t want to stop playing the game. I was absolutely hooked, and I wanted to hone my skills prior to facing off against the next Echoes of War boss we would get. Within the first four months of launch, I think I had collected almost all the blessings, curios, and Aeon information that you could possibly get. Hell, there was even a day where I spent probably six hours just trying out all the different resonance paths against Gepard. It was so novel to me, and nothing like my previous experience with other rouge-like domains/dungeons – I just couldn’t get enough…

That was until they started patching in new updates. Swarm Disaster eviscerated all my excitement and desire for SU. I hate that bug; I hate that bug so very much. It’s only now that I have e2 DHIL that I don’t mind going back into Swarm and attempting to collect the rest of the rewards that have been sitting there waiting for me since its debut. The same kind of applies to Gold and Gears, although that mode is slowly starting to grow on me. I haven’t spent enough time in there playing around with all the different dice and strategies yet to have a definitive opinion on it. I’ll probably make some content of myself exploring the upper levels of G&G when I inevitably unlock them.

Now for the thing that would’ve really turned out to be an essay if I weren’t more capable of reining myself in; the curse that keeps on giving, MoC. Listen, I love this game. I love the combat and having to be a bit strategic, but sometimes floors 11-12 make me want to pull out the tiny bit of hair that my buzzed head tends to have. It took me 11 and a half months to 36 star the MoC for the first and only time that I’ve been able to do so. I’ve reset, changed teams, and fully rebuilt characters in attempt to beat floor 12 within 10 cycles more times than I can count. Sincerely, I wish we could’ve seen a year-end review of just the reset statistics alone. It is a source of infinite frustration for me, and it really shouldn’t be so goddamn difficult sometimes… Please Hoyo, just let me have my last star; I’m tired of sitting at 35/36 stars. There's only so much min-maxing a person can do before losing their mind.

Don’t think that I forgot about PF. Follow-up attackers’ paradise and what seemed like it would be a great time until I remembered that my only follow up attackers are Jing Yuan and an under leveled, mostly untouched Herta. This game mode is truly the one that got away for me. I’ve barely participated in it due to a lack of necessary characters. O7 to all the jades that I’ve missed out on. We’ll get there one day.

The Triumphs & Perils of Warping

What’s a gacha game without pulling? I’ve been keeping track of all my luck, both good and bad, since I started playing. This is what a year, 380 standard passes, and 1013 special passes got me:

Not a bad roster at all. There were a couple questionable choices made by me though. The lack of pulling a limited 5 star sustain until Aventurine came out being my biggest flop of them all. I did attempt to get Fu Xuan on her release banner, but I lost 50/50 and wasn’t willing to put everything I had into her at that time.

Out of all eight 50/50s I’ve had so far, I only lost three of them; I also pulled two of the following guarantees early after that so I’ve been a lot luckier than I thought I would be. My Genshin wishing experience sunk the bar for my pulling expectations well below ground, so everything feels like even more of a win here. I hope things continue to stay that way.

Another thing of note: I chose Bronya’s e1 from the standard banner selection reward once I hit the 300-warp requirement. I probably should’ve chosen Himeko for PF purposes but e1 was just too good to pass up for my hyper carry teams.

Also, Dr. Ratio gave himself to everyone (for free) in the pursuit of “curing idiocy” so that’s why I have him. Had I have been proactive in pulling his signature LC, I could be rocking a Ratiorine team right now – but no, instead he remains in Level 1 Purgatory with the rest of my unused characters.

Let us not forget about the light cones either:

I broke my one cardinal rule of avoiding weapon banners for this game, but I don’t regret it in the slightest — I did lose 75/25 to Sleep Like the Dead twice and then proceeded to get it a third time (from the standard banner), so I'm salty about that. Still no regrets though!

Final Thoughts

This game has been such a safe space of indulgence for me over the last year. It reminded me of my love for turn-based combat and strategy-based games. It has also helped me reinvigorate my creativity — this blog is proof of it. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so enthralled, inspired, and passionate, so I’m grateful to Hoyo and all the HSR Devs for bringing this game to life.

While there have been some low points from struggling with story bosses, tediously challenging endgame, and incohesive plot lines, I have mostly found great enjoyment in my traversal of the stars thus far. I can’t wait to see who else I’ll meet and where this journey among the cosmos will lead me. I also look forward to sharing even more of my adventures and insights with all of you in the years to come!

Happy Anniversary, Trailblazers! May the next year be fruitful and fulfilling. Don't forget to sign in and collect your 1600 jades!

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr anniversary #astral express annual trailblaze report #hsr spoilers #hsr 1.0 to 2.1 spoilers #tj talks hsr #tj yaps so much in this post #i am so sorry #hsr character roster #hsr light cones #tjs hsr shenanigans #tjemegames

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ladyshivs · 1 year

Note

So I heard you made a new Sidestep 👀

Who are they? Do they romance anyone? What path are they taking in game? What is their scar? I want to know everything, so take this as a formal invitation to gush about them!

Ah!! Thank you!🥰🥰🥰🥰 I’ll do my best to give a good overview for him:

His name is Salvatore Anzetti. He began life as a background antagonist for a prohibition era role play. Then he got reskinned as a vampire clan leader. And now he’s a regene with more than a few bones to pick.

Salvatore “Sal” is a man of indeterminant heritage, with dark black hair worn smoothed down, and a crisp mustache. There are several diagonal scars along his right cheek, as well as one over his lower lip on the left side. As of retribution, he’s wealthy, living in luxury, with a luxurious base and a fashion style that the game calls quirky suits, but that I refer to as marble peacock.

He’s 5’11” 1/2, letting Julia have just a little half inch of height over him. He’s smitten by her, useless for her. He’d be more annoyed, but come on, it’s Julia, who wouldn’t fall head over heels? He goes back to her apartment and makes a fool of himself. But not as big a fool as he could have, if you catch my drift…

He’s got the puppet master scar with a revenge motivation, and ends up with his little ragtag band of loyal mob crew, whom he loves like family. I headcannon that back at the farm, he had a leadership role on his team and the instincts have remained strong. He’s bold, he’s charismatic, he’s devoted. He’s got no particular problem tricking Blaze into burning civilians. He holds grudges like lifelines.

His villain persona is Mafioso, and the armor is a functional design, looking almost like a tuxedo but otherwise just there to keep his body safe. He’s got telepathic boosters and I meant to give him strength, but he ended up with armor instead (everyone point and laugh at the psychic turtle).

I don’t have any proper artwork for him yet, but I have some stats for you from his playthrough:

His daring took a dip at the end of retribution, he finished rebirth with a smooth 92 in daring!

He ends up with the pure as snow achievement, not a single one of the rangers suspecting him. Except Argent. She saw his face and is well aware of who he is, but he’s hoping that he can smooth that over with some schmoozing and letting her have the regenerator.

He’s pretty neutral on Herald, agreeing to train him and seeing potential but not recognizing the threat he could pose moving forward.

Chen is a strange one. They’re both tacticians and Sal frequently finds himself playing inter dimensional chess when they talk. Still. It’s not as combative as it used to be.

He hates to lose friends and even more so, hates to lose allies, but he’s not sure where he stands with Dr. Mortum. He told her about being the villain and revealed himself as a regene to her, now all he can do is wait and see if she values their friendship as much as he was banking on.

The meeting with Hollow Ground went swimmingly! Sal dressed to the nines, didn’t shake hands and had such a polite chat! He doesn’t see what all the fuss is about, he just politely declined and then walked out. Granted, a sniper took out his car on the way out, but whats a little car crash between rival crime lords?

Unfortunately his boldness has caught uh. Everyone’s. Attention. So he’s got to get hobbling and organized, and get started with it toot sweet!

#sidestep #fhr #fallen hero: rebirth #thank you for asking about him!#Salvatore Anzetti

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octoberobserver · 1 year

Text

The Loser Takes It All - Reddie Fic

(Read on ao3)

“I don’t want to talk about things we’ve gone through. Though it’s hurting me, now it’s history…I played all my cards, and that’s what you’ve done too. Nothing more to say, no more ace to play. The winner takes it all, the loser’s standing sma—”

“Richie! Why the fuck are you screaming ABBA at the top of your lungs at seven on a Saturday morning?!”

Richie Tozier whirled around, spatula slipping from where it had been held up to his mouth as a makeshift microphone.

“Fuck, Eds! You scared the shit outta me, man!” he yelped, fumbling with his phone to pause the music. “I-I thought you didn’t get back ‘til tonight?”

Something in Eddie’s face softened as he shuffled over, wiping a hand across his eyes.

“I pushed up my flight. Got back last night. I didn’t wanna wake you, so I went straight to bed.”

He halted at the stove, peering into the pan and seeing the makings of Richie’s signature bell pepper omelettes.

“Enough for me?” he asked hopefully, bumping their shoulders together in a way that always had Richie’s stomach swooping.

“Always,” he bumped his shoulder back in a way he hoped was a lot more casual than it felt.

“Why are you singing angry break-up songs at the crack of dawn, anyway?”

Richie hummed, flapping a hand and keeping his eyes locked on the pan.

“Eh, why not? Sometimes you just gotta jam to some Swedes, ya know?”

Eddie’s eyes trailed the side of his face, no doubt taking in the frown lines and dark circles that marred it.

“...Rich, have you been to bed yet?”

“Uh,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand and flipping the omelette with the other. “...no?”

Eddie’s stare was downright piercing.

“I—I got home at three last night. Where the hell were you if you weren’t in bed?”

Richie turned on his heel to grab the cheese out of the fridge and took a second to shove his head into it, savouring the cold and the sweet relief of not having to look Eds in the eye as he grumbled.

“On the balcony.”

Three.

Tw—

“You were stress smoking again, weren’t you?!”

He tried and failed to hold back a grin.

“You know I was, Eds. I don’t know why it bothers you so mu—”

“Well fuck me for caring about your health, asshole! Don’t you know the stats on—”

“Yeah, I do, because you remind me like four times a day,” Richie cut across his Kaspbrakian rant, cheddar in hand.

“Rich—”

“Eddie, it’s like a couple’a drags a day. And it’s only ‘cause of this Netflix shit. I’ll go cold turkey again when that’s all done, I promise. Blame Bev. She’s a bad influence.”

He practically felt Eddie’s eyes narrow.

“You told me your Netflix meeting went well. So why were you really smoking?”

You know why.

He swallowed down those words with the next flip of an omelette.

“Sarah get the flight back with you?”

Sarah was Eddie’s Personal Assistant and Richie’s second favourite person at his firm. She was witty, could keep up with Kaspbrakian rants like an OG Loser, and was damn good at her job. Richie wished he could hire her to sort out his life, to be honest. Both personal and professional.

“Yeah, she’s home now. Doesn’t wanna see Erica from Accounting in the vicinity of tequila ever again, apparently.”

The sizzle of the frying pan was the only sound that permeated the kitchen for what felt like hours but, in reality, couldn’t have been more than fifteen seconds before Eddie finally said the words that Richie had been dreading for the last three days.

“So. You wanna talk about it?”

His entire body tensed up, hand gripping the spatula almost painfully as he stared down at the omelette, flipping it.

“Talk about what?”

He could practically feel the stink eye levelled his way, but, a seasoned recipient of such a look, he didn’t cave.

“You kissed me, Richie.”

Shit.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw an Eddie-shaped blur begin to pace back and forth, hands karate-chopping through the air.

“Right before you left for your meeting the morning I was flying out, you took one last sip of your coffee, closed down your laptop, kissed me on the lips and shot through the door before I could even register what happened.”

Keep it together, Tozier. Breathe.

With shaking hands, he plated the omelette before starting his own.

“I remember.”

There was a short pause at that as if Eddie wasn’t expecting him to just admit it. Which fair, really. It was probably the most direct ol’ Trashmouth had been about his massive crush on him in thirty, not-so-straight years.

“Okay. Good,” Eddie cleared his throat. “Uh…wanna maybe elaborate?”

“Not really.”

“Richie.”

“Eddie.”

“Look,” Richie’s omelette was close to becoming scrambled eggs with the amount he was shaking the pan’s handle. “It’s not a big deal, Eds, okay? Just a ‘see ya later, bro’ peck or whatever. I just—it was automatic like autopilot. I wasn’t thinkin’, I was runnin’ late, and I just…did it, and before I knew it, I was in the Uber. I didn’t even realise what I’d done ‘til I was halfway to Netflix HQ.”

When he dared a glance, he saw something complicated cross over Eddie’s ridiculously handsome face, and he scrambled to continue.

“I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean to, like—make you uncomfortable, or whatever. It wasn’t—”

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable.”

“Oh. Right. Okay. Good.”

“Good.”

They stared at one another.

“Just a ‘bro peck’, huh?”

“Yep. Sure.”

“Hmm.”

One beat.

Two.

Three.

Slowly, quietly, as if approaching a spooked horse, Eddie reached out and gently retrieved his plate from the counter, his pinky finger brushing against the back of his hand. It was embarrassing just how small of a touch from Eddie Kaspbrak still set off fireworks in Richie’s nervous system, lighting him up like the fuckin’ Fourth of July, even after all this time.

“Thanks for breakfast. Bro.”

“No prob—”

Warm lips pressed lightly against his for a split second before Eddie lowered back down on his heels, his giant, dark, bush-baby eyes swimming with something unreadable.

Richie flushed, his stomach erupting with butterflies, dancing the tango with those same fireworks.

With a small smile, Eddie nodded downwards.

“You’re burning your eggs, Trashmouth.”

“Oh, shit!” Richie hissed as soft billows of smoke wafted from the pan.

“Don’t worry,” Eddie remarked from behind him, something that made Richie’s heart race laced in his tone. “You can share mine.”

It felt like it could be so much more than a promise to split breakfast. But with the 1987 rule of ‘Eddie doesn’t share food, it’s unhygienic, Trashmouth,’ still firmly in effect, Richie was beyond stoked either way.

“You know if you want any more ‘bro pecks,’ you’re gonna have to give up smoking though, right?”

“You drive a hard bargain, Eds. But consider it done.”

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #it 2019 #my fanfiction #i wrote this while procrastinating my other reddie fic

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servarreginam · 1 year

Text

the crownless king in the frigid north

For mirae, who wanted some thoughts on Saber in Rigel. And oh boy do I have thoughts.

(Cut for length. I mean it.)

First and foremost, let's look at some stats. "But tches," I can hear you say, "it is literally the first sentence of this meta". I know, I know. Now, as far as his role as a unit and as a character in the story, Saber is most easily compared to Lukas in Alm's story: he's the experienced older man who leads the plucky group of kids from the start of their journey, and keeps them safe along the way. They're meant to be bulkier and easier to use units to allow the player some leeway in their playstyle in the early chapters of the game, but if we look a little closer we find something interesting.

Here I'm going to show two sets of bases and two sets of growths:

Set One:

Set Two:

Just by looking are you able to identify which is meant to be the speedster sword unit, and which is meant to be the armored tank unit? I'd forgive you if you aren't - both sets are remarkably similar, and both have a notable emphasis on HP and DEF, which is the Armored archetype's wheelhouse. (If you were curious, Saber's set is on top giggity)

Now why did I bring out the stats so early? These are his base stats to start Celica's journey, and we're here to talk about Saber's time in Rigel.

Well, I think when Saber was in the Rigelian army, he was an armored unit. And I think this shapes his entire skillset and even the development of his personality as he went from hotshot armyman to hotter shot mercenary extraordinaire. I even think it has a factor in him losing his eye.

But we'll get to those in a minute. Let's take it back all the way to the start of Saber's military career. Or rather, his father's.

We learn from the Accordion book that Saber grew up as part of a poor family. Well, we learn he grew up in a family that wasn't noble - but from everything else that we learn about Rigel, especially with regard to its outlook on the caste system, we understand that the nobles consider it to be a very "us vs them" situation, and we can infer that anyone who is not a noble (or even a specific class of noble) was quite poor. And historically, those who could not farm and were not of a merchant class ended up in the military, ergo it's incredibly likely that Saber himself came from a long line of hard Rigelian military men.

During Saber's recruitment conversation, we learn that despite his reputation, he's hesitant to put his life in danger - while that seems like an obvious statement, Saber finds it noteworthy enough to bring it up twice in the span of a couple sentences. And then again when the group decides to fight the Pirate King (which he is very vocal about avoiding). This leads me to believe that he has some disdain for the sorts of men who lay down their lives easily, for grand ideals or for a supposed grander purpose or otherwise - which further leads me to believe that his father died in battle.

It might seem like a stretch, but given the hyper-masculine, battle-focused society that we understand Rigel is, I feel it's a logical conclusion. There are only so many routes available to a military man, after all, and I feel like Saber's hyper-vigilance of his own mortality isn't just a consequence of being his own boss.

This is not to say that I think Saber is without ideals, and certainly not when he enlisted in the Rigelian army. His face-heel turn from army man to private contractor has a certain feel to it that seems most analogous to "grew up Conservative, became disillusioned by how bad things are, becomes Libertarian" in modern contexts - indeed, he would have needed a reason to join the army to begin with, or at the very least a justification beyond simply "this is how things are done".

When Saber joined, I believe he truly thought that he'd help make a difference - either the Rigelian propaganda machine is very strong, or he was naïve and optimistic, or both. Regardless, because he's described as an "ace" in the army, it's clear to me that he tried, he put forth genuine effort during his enlistment, and due to a combination of perhaps some natural talent and this own enthusiasm to make a change in the world, not to end up like his old man, he rose in the ranks quite quickly.

Probably too quickly.

Once more from Accordion, we learn that an unnamed noble set a trap for him which resulted in the loss of his eye. Since Rigel is so stringent about its belief in divine right of kings and hierarchy of nobles, it's easy to see what happened - Saber was a hotshot and performed well in his role as a soldier, and this pissed off someone who was richer but less capable. It is unclear what the trap is or how it was set, but I don't believe it was meant to be a fatal trap - I think it was meant to be something that put a man of lower status in his place and failed terribly.

I've mentioned already that I believe Saber was likely an armored unit, due to his stats, and I have more thoughts about this which I will go into in a bit, but with regard to the trap, I believe it was most likely an ambush using crossbows - a one-on-one ambush wouldn't have gone well for his rival, and I think he knew that, and arrows wouldn't have been effective against someone with Saber's defensive capabilities. Crossbows, however, can pierce most plate armor. Ergo I think it's likely that when Saber was caught in this trap, one missed, and ended up taking his eye out with it.

We learn that this was a separate event from his departure from the army, and Rigel at large, which tells us that this incident - while it surely infuriated him - wasn't enough to make him want to leave. If anything, this likely spurred him on further to reach even greater heights.

And since I mentioned his departure from the army, let's talk about that really fast. Once again citing Accordion, we learn that Saber was "betrayed by someone he considered his best friend", who he then challenged to a duel. Since dueling was illegal, Saber became a criminal because his opponent died. And while it's all very Aaron Burr, this is quite a dense couple of sentences, so let's unpack it a bit.

First, let's address the fact that this is clearly after Saber has been mutilated, as he lost his eye before leaving the army. This means that this asshole, even after losing an eye, was still so good at what he did, that he couldn't (or wouldn't) hold back just enough to prevent his opponent dying during battle.

We don't have much of a timeframe, necessarily, but we do know that Saber is 34 when Celica recruits him, and he's been doing the mercenary gig for quite a while by that point. We can reasonably narrow the window of his time in the army to probably around 20-25, give or take a few years on either end. If we assume that he was rising through the ranks the first couple of years of his enlistment before losing his eye in his early-twenties, this still means that he recovered and retrained himself and rose back to his previous skill level in only a couple further short years.

I cannot emphasize how insane that is.

Second, let's address the fact that he challenged this man to a duel. Duels, especially illegal duels, are an incredibly interesting plot point to put into the history of a man we're supposed to believe is a mercenary lacking in scruples. Duels carry such a heavy insinuation of the concept of honor and the preservation thereof, and adherence to fairplay.

Accordion is specific that Saber was the one who was betrayed, and Saber was the one who challenged his once-best friend to a duel, which emphasizes to me that there was still some lingering idealism in him - not defending his life, which we understand he is more than capable of, but defending this intangible concept of his honor. This is Rigel, where combat is king, and Saber is combat-tested - he could easily have stricken the man down (we know he could, because he did that thing). But instead of simply lashing out, he challenged the other man to a duel.

For those who don't know, historically, dueling isn't just an opportunity to kill someone. They're highly ritualized humiliation, designed to spank a man and do him dirty in front of his best friend (the second) and make him bear the burden of shame forever. The challenge tells me that Saber wanted the other man to live with the knowledge of exactly how badly he fucked up - the death, and his subsequent flight, tells me that his rage wouldn't let him leave the other man alive.

Which is strange, to me. Up to this point, with all of my overthinking, and with his following turn as one of the better units in Celica's army, how could a man as skilled as Saber have overdone it so much, when it's clear that his intention was otherwise? Was it arrogance, was it his opponent's ineptitude?

Or was it really rage?

Which brings us to point number three in regards to the duel: what are they fighting over? This was Saber's best friend, someone who fought alongside him, understood him, saw the warrior on the battlefield and presumably got to know the man underneath the cocksure battle prowess. To give us a hint, let's harken back to Saber's mutilation: a noble, angered by this hotshot peasant, jealous of the good name this nobody was making for himself.

Further, I think that his best friend was a member of minor nobility - not of high enough station to avoid the army, but perhaps of good enough pedigree to easily get into an officer's academy (hey, that's us!). It's certainly unlikely for those of lower financial straits to betray someone they consider a comrade - studies have shown those with less money to be more generous, and vice-versa - and with Saber's stratospheric rise in the army, I believe it's likely that he ended up rubbing elbows with quite a few nobles of similar rank to him.

What do best friends betray each other over? What else but love? Could it have been an event less than this? I struggle to come up with something that would be so important to both parties - both for the betrayal, and for Saber's insistence on defending his honor. I believe that as time went on, Saber caught the eye of a woman outside of his station (or vice-versa), and they fell in love, and frankly I think this pissed some people off.

Now, I connect the two events (Saber's mutilation, and his betrayal leading to his flight from Rigel), but they're marked as separate events, presumably with some time in between them (as I mentioned earlier). However, they're some of the most important events that a young Saber could possibly go through, and at the hands of people who want to push him down and force him to see his proper place, a commoner allowed to exist amongst nobles.

Between his mutilation, between the nebulous betrayal (which I think led to a loss of love for Saber), all the humiliation that must have been attempted to drag him down - by this point, Saber must have been well and truly furious, blinded with his rage and his disillusionment of the army, of Rigellian society as a whole. It's easy to see why, even though he must have initiated the duel in good faith, he lost control.

And so we come to the final arena of his life before he meets Celica - the journey from Decorated and Capable Army Man to a man who "smells like a tavern floor" on an island in a different country.

I mentioned at the top of this essay (pensiveclown) that I believe Saber started his combat career as an armored unit, due to his stats being so similar to Lukas's. I believe it's around the time he leaves the army that he, slowly, piece by piece, starts to abandon the identity of a Rigelian soldier in full plate. In a practical sense, what this means for a man who's already trained in combat is that he's suddenly going to seem a lot stronger and a lot faster in comparison (but with perhaps a little less control over his swings, indicated by his slightly lower base Skill).

As a man who's already trained formally in military combat and tactics, and been tested over the course of several years (enough to rise head and shoulders over his peers, even handicapped), the transition from soldier to mercenary must have been an absolute cakewalk.

Very suddenly, this man who has spent his entire adult life thusfar being commanded to kill (and possibly die) for another person's higher ideals, has the option to say fuck that, and he's quite at his leisure to take whichever jobs he chooses - and we see that he does. We see that he's quite choosy with what he does, but that he doesn't shy away from jobs that others consider too dangerous.

Because, I mean. Look at those stats. With a skillset like that, how could he resist making a name for himself again, as a middle-finger to the country that failed him so horribly.

#out of character #meta #blows a kiss to the sky for the ping in headcanons #this turned out much longer than i was anticipating #i tried to keep it as cohesive a narrative as i could but there's a lot

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heartsoulrocknroll · 2 months

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AEW Dynamite 3/20/24

Mercedes comes out first! She talks about how her career almost ended with an injury ten months ago, but she says she had to come back. She says she isn't here to lead a women's evolution. She's done that before. She's here to lead a global women's revolution. She calls out Julia and Skye and says they shouldn't get in her business with Willow. Julia and Skye come out to attack Mercedes, but Willow and Statlander make the save.

Marvez interviews the Bucks and Okada. He calls Okada by his full name. But the Bucks tell Marvez that he needs to show more respect by speaking to Okada in his native tongue. Matt talks about how handsome and charismatic Okada is. The Bucks say they will be the personal producers for Okada's match tonight. Okada addresses Eddie in Japanese. Where are the subtitles so we can hear this man's promo?? He says he is coming for Eddie's title!!!!!

Eddie Kingston (c) vs. Kazuchika Okada for the AEW Continental Championship -- Eddie chops Okada until his chest is red! Okada runs away to the outside, and suckers Eddie in for a DDT on the floor!! Nice! Okada lands a neckbreaker and covers Eddie standing up with one foot for a one count. Love it. Okada with a nice sliding dropkick, then two vicious back elbows, then a running back elbow in the corner! Eddie lands some chops, a belly to belly suplex, a back heel trip, a German suplex, and a sliding elbow for two! Okada lands a neckbreaker on the knee for two!! Okada goes for an elbow off the top, but Eddie avoids it and lands the backfist for two! Eddie lands some chops and blocks a lariat attempt. Okada takes his thumbs to Eddie's eyes, ducks a backfist attempt by Eddie. Okada lands a Tombstone that looks more like a bodyslam, then a Rainmaker for three!!!!!

Nice!!!!!!!!! Very good match here with Okada looking great. I am so stoked for new champ Okada!!!! Rating: 3.5

Pac comes out after the match to stare at Okada from the ramp. HELL YEAH BROTHER!!!!!!!!! HYPED OUT OF MY MIND FOR OKADA VS. PAC!!!! CANNOT WAIT!!!!

Renee with Swerve. She asks what his intention was with Joe and the chain last week. Swerve says the intention is the same as always, the AEW World Championship. Joe attempted to embarrass him by choking him out a few weeks ago, but unfortunately for Joe, Swerve has a history of choking people out as well. He gestures to the chain. He says he feels like sparring and puts out an open challenge.

Statlander and Willow with Renee. They say their feud with Hart and Blue ends tonight. Mercedes arrives. Stat thanks her for having Willow's back. Mercedes says of course, that's what a CEO does. Willow starts to talk. Mercedes cuts her off and says she has done enough. Nice.

Hook vs. Chris Jericho -- Hook comes out of the gate with a nasty belly to back suplex, dropping Jericho on his head! The ref checks on Jericho. Jericho comes back with some elbows and chops, but Hook turns it back around with a series of German suplexes! German after German after German! Like 8 or 10 of them! Jericho finally blocks the German and reverses into a Walls attempt, but Hook stops him from locking it in. Jericho comes off the top, but Hook catches him with a Northern Lights suplex and a lariat!! Nice!! Jericho lands a boot and a lionsault for two. Jericho just throws Hook, and he lands on his face. Damn. Jericho lands a boot, then strikes in the corner, standing on second rope. Hook finally blocks and locks in Redrum! Jericho escapes with elbows and goes for the Walls, but Hook escapes with elbows of his own, then catches Jericho in an inside cradle for three!

This was okay. Some good offense from Hook, but a lot of awkward-looking stuff here as well, which should probably be attributed to Jericho. This is Hook's first pinfall victory in AEW. Jericho shows respect to Hook after the match. Rating: 2

Cole video promo. He says Wardlow disappointed him last week by losing to Joe. He says Wardlow's new goal is to make sure Taven and Bennett keep the ROH tag championship and Roddy keeps his AEW International Championship, and maybe then they will forgive him. Cole says this because he cares about Wardlow and wants him to reach his true potential. He tells Wardlow not to screw it up.

Renee with Jericho. Jericho says Hook has his respect after tonight. Hook is a future world champion. And Jericho has a proposition for Hook next week.

Schiavone in the ring with Ospreay. Ospreay says he was a naughty boy the last time he was in Toronto when he faced Omega at Forbidden Door. He apologizes for "what he done last time." He says he is here to bring the people of Canada elite wrestling, but in return, he needs some of that maple syrup. Lmao wtf. He says he is here for the betterment of AEW. Ospreay comments on how great Danielson vs. Shibata on Collision last week was. Ospreay says in one breath, Danielson said he is grateful to step in the ring with Ospreay, but in the next, Danielson said Ospreay couldn't walk in his shoes. Ospreay says he has seen Danielson's shoes and he could never fit in them, because they are too small for him. What Bryan did in Japan was good, but what Ospreay did in Japan was elevate pro wrestling. He mentions all the championships he held there. He says he can walk in Danielson's shoes. Want him to prove it? He calls out Shibata. He says the last time they wrestled each other, Shibata beat the piss out of him, and asks if Shibata wants to know the difference in a 23-year-old kid and 30-year-old with a family and a point to prove. He tells Shibata to meet him in the ring next week and tells Danielson to sit at home and watch. Another good promo from Ospreay. Can't believe it. He is on a roll.

Toni Storm and Mariah May vs. Thunder Rosa and Deonna Purrazzo -- Purrazzo with some nice armbar attempts, but she can't get it locked in on Mariah. Purrazzo hits Mariah with a huge boot. Rosa tags herself in and lands a DVD on Mariah. Storm tags in. Storm with a nice German suplex and hip attack on Rosa. Storm goes for Storm Zero, but Rosa reverses and catches Storm with a jacknife for three. Solid action here, but super short. Rating: 2.25

Swerve Strickland vs. The Butcher -- Swerve starts with a headbutt out of nowhere! Butcher with a backbreaker on the knee. Swerve lands a double stomp to the back of the neck!!! House Call kick!!! Double stomp off the top!! Then Swerve locks in an arm bar variation for the submission!! Rating: SQUASH

Swerve with a mic after the match. He says he respected and liked Joe before he met him. But now he is close to hating Joe. Every day, he thinks about wrapping that chain around Joe's neck, hanging him from the ring post, and squeezing. He will take out any security Joe sends until Joe gives him what he wants. Good stuff!!!!

Joe comes out!! He says he beat Swerve at Revolution and he shoved him back down the championship ladder. He says Swerve still believes the impossible is possible, that if he stands toe to toe with Joe, he can box with a god. The problem with that belief is that it becomes infectious, and these people start to believe that maybe they can be great and be a champion too. And that is fine and sweet until someone like Joe shows up, smashes you in the face, and takes everything that you have. Joe knows what to do with someone like Swerve and that is give him exactly what he wants. NICE!!!! GO AHEAD, JOE!!! Joe heads for the ring!!!!

Don Callis comes out to interrupt and is greeted by the loudest and most sustained chorus of boos I have ever heard. Taz: "This is his home country, and they hate his guts." Callis says Swerve and Takeshita have the same amount of wins, but Takeshita is undefeated outside of the Don Callis Family, and Takeshita needs to show Swerve what it tastes like to lose to the Family. This is not Swerve's house. It is the Don Callis Family's house.

Swerve says if he had more time and wasn't distracted with what he has going on, he would burn the Callis Family tree down to a crisp, but he will take on Takeshita.

Christian Cage (c) vs. Adam Copeland for the TNT Championship -- Copeland lands something of neckbreaker, driving Christian back-first onto a ladder he set up between the announce table and the barricade outside. Copeland sets up a ladder upside down and drives Christian ribs-first into the hinges with an inverted suplex!!! Copeland props up a table on the barricade outsidr and goes for a spear, but Christian leapfrogs him and throws him into the ring post. Copeland is bleeding from the head! Christian lands a frog splash off the top through a table on the outside! Christian sets up a ladder on the ropes in the corner and catapults Copeland face-first into the ladder. Christian misses a splash, and Copeland locks in a crossface with the arm trapped, but Christian gouges the eyes to escape! Both go for spears at the same time and both go down! Christian tries to leave, but Copeland follows after him, and catapults Christian off the stage!

Mother Wayne comes out and low blows Copeland with a hockey stick! Christian cracks the hockey stick over Copeland's back! Christian drives the hockey stick into Copeland's throat in the ring!! The ref asks, but Copeland doesn't quit. Christian goes for Conchairto with a barbed wire-covered chair, but Copeland avoids it. Copeland swings with a chair, but Christian moves. Christian goes for Killswitch onto a chair, but Copeland blocks it. Copeland locks in a kind of crossface hold with the hockey stick in Christian's mouth, then chokes Christian with the drawstring from his trunks!! Luchasaurus and Nick make the save and break the hold! Garcia and Menard come out to even the odds! They handcuff Nick and Luchasaurus to the corner turnbuckles, then ping pong Christian back and forth with strikes, then Copeland lands a nice spear on Christian!! They handcuff Christian to the other corner, and Copeland lands repeated low blows to Christian!!! Over and over and over kicks to the balls! The ref asks, but Christian doesn't quit! Copeland gets out the spike he made and spikes Christian in the balls!!!! Christian still refuses to quit!!! But Copeland threatens to do it again, and Christian quits!!!!

This was a really well-constructed match. All the weapon spots were good, the outside interference was well done, and the finish kinda rocked. Nice. Rating: 3.75

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strawberryblacktea25 · 7 months

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Trojan War Musical Jukebox Musical?

***Copyright laws did not exist in antiquity for mythology so they don't exist for a retelling of it today as well***

Jokes aside, ok no imagine this - A retelling of one of the most well known stories, originally sang, reusing songs from previous musicals. Fascinating concept already. I would change the lyrics of some of the songs to make it fit better with the Trojan cycle.

Ok Ok Ok Helen right? Give her and Clytemnestra Defying Gravity. Helen/Elphaba and Clytemnestra/Glinda. Sung the moment Helen flees with Paris to Troy (bonus points for having Paris just kinda sitting in the background like "ok girl sing your heart out our whatever; WE GOTTA GO").

Helen is talking about how she wants to leave the stifling life of a woman in Greece. She "chose" her husband when she was so young; how could anyone expect a child to make such a decision that will effect the rest of her life forever (a little bit like college these days huh)? She just kinda picks and doesn't realize fully what she just trapped herself in. She- a daughter of Zeus- is nothing more than a trophy wife; a vessel for children. She sees her brothers (one praised for also being a son of Zeus!!!) go and have adventures on the Argo. She wants that; She craves that glory and adventure too. But she can't have it. Why? She was cursed to be born with tits and a womb I guess.

She never wanted to be a mom. She wants to see the world; earn a name for herself. Her husband does not think she should. I'm not going to make Menelaus this comically evil abusive husband. He's not a "bad husband" but he's still entrenched in the patriarchy of the culture. He's very traditional and expects his wife to behave the same. He has power, she is the beauty (the MOST beautiful actually), she is the one who produces the heirs. He, like her own sister and the rest of society, try to gaslight her into staying put and looking pretty (those are deemed her "true" powers; not fighting or adventuring or whatever) Like, when they have Hermione, I don't imagine Menelaus "being upset they had a daughter instead of a son" type of gross. Instead he would be like "ah cool we now of a resource to marry off and increase our political power!" type. He's not abusive but he ain't progressive yaknow?

Enter Paris. Bro is the adventuring type. Loves exploring. I mean he was a shepherd/farmer who magically discovers he's royalty and is flung from the rural land to urban Troy. He even met some gods once (Ares first who gave him a positive vibe check and then three goddesses); man's the stereotypical hero (with no divine blood!). Imagine like charisma stat maxed out (probably had to pick it up for survival too). He is sent by Priam on a convoy for whatever reason to Sparta cause of it.

He was promised by the gods power, love, or military prowess. Since he was literally a Shepherd at the time he picks the wife. Problem is, it isn't immediate. He thinks he's a little cheated and finds it ironic how he practically gets the power point first. The enter Helen.

They fall head over heels for each other. It isn't immediate but they get to talk on the convoy mission since the head of the house is out on like a lass minute thing off somewhere else. The two vibe and get along. Helen loves hearing about his life/adventures and expresses wanting to do the same. He would love to have a permanent partner by his side doing so.

Then she wants to leave with him (defy gravity if you will... she is the daughter of the literal sky king after all). Let's say Clytemnestra is there cause while Menelaus is away, she wants to give her sister company and not be alone. Clytemnestra, at this point, is very entrenched in what society expects of her. Despite not being the one with divine blood in the family, she married a powerful man, is fertile (had three kids so far!!), and avidly looks forward to fulfill her duties as mother (like giving her daughter away for marriage :D). That last part makes the "I hope you are happy and don't regret your decisions bit" SOOOO extra fun.

Anyway before leaving the sisters talk. Helen tries to convince her sister to come and free herself, Clytemnestra is like "no you have delusions of grandeur". They would probably also talk about their kids. I am having Helen leaving Hermoine behind. Again, she never wanted to be a mother and was practically forced to have a kid. Part of why she is leaving is cause she knows she'll be expected to have another. Helen wants to leave all of her previous life with Menelaus behind. Also, raising a kid while traveling (which BTW unfortunately does not happen much cause the Greeks effectively surround Troy for ten years... again "hope you won't regret it") is not ideal. Helen does not wish harm on the kid, probably asks Clytemnestra to take care of her.

Anyway, Helen is done "accepting limits" and tells her sister if she "cares to find her, look to the EASTERN sky". She knows the society in Greece would not accept her and try to "ground" her. They will debase and defame her, calling her "wicked" for her rebellion. In fact, at the end, the guards start running toward the ship screaming exactly that. Now, I'm not imagining Troy as being this feminist safe haven, there definitely will be people there as well who will label Helen a whore or whatever. But I do imagine the culture there being a little bit more accepting to the idea of a woman having the autonomy and authority to make their own decisions (something that seems very threatening to Greece). Most of the Trojans end up being sympathetic to her plight (though maybe less as the war drags on).

Crazy idea right? Now I want to see everyone's face when Achilles drops the first line of Candy Store to Agamemnon. (Achilles is very Heather Chandler coded don't get me started)

#tagamemnon #iliad #greek mythology #trojan war #helen of sparta #paris of troy #homer #achilles #musicals #broadway #heathers musical #wicked musical #elphaba #galinda upland

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autisticsupervillain · 1 year

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Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Stats Equalized!

The show where we equalize stats to determine who would win a contest of pure experience, versatility, and skill.

This Month's Fighters....

Alucard vs DIO!

Rules:

Part 3 DIO vs Pre-Schrodinger Alucard.

Scenario:

Alucard happens to be going on a walk when he encounters DIO feasting on a victim, prompting the vampire hunter to open fire.

Analysis: Alucard

Level 0 is for when he wants to end the world.

Analysis: DIO

How will you be remembered when you die? What legacy will you leave behind when your life ends?

If your name is Dio Brando, then you already know what your legacy will be. You will be a symbol of pure evil who will haunt the Joestar family for generations after your demise.

Dio Brando was born to a poor family in 1880s England, living under the care of an abusive father. After poisoning his father and spitting on the bastard's tomb for driving his mother to die, Dio learned that the wealthy Joestar family owed his father a debt, leaving them honor bound to take him in after his father's death.

Any simpathy that might he earned for his circumstances quickly evaporated, as Dio proved to be the adopted sibling from hell. Seeking to inherent the family fortune, Dio put his new brother, Jonathan, in his place by beating him up, sexually assaulting his girlfriend, and burning his dog alive. In adulthood, Dio would go on to try and kill his adoptive father, only to be foiled and exposed by his righteous brother JoJo. Forced into a corner, Dio switched to plan B. Using the magical Stone Mask, Dio transformed himself into a vampire, a blood sucking creature of the night.

As a vampire, Dio gained a whole slew of superpowers. With a life span that kept him ageless for centuries and a healing factor that could save him from being blown to bits, Dio became nigh-unkillable. Like any good blood sucker, Dio can spead up said healing by drinking blood, but he doesn't use fangs to do so. Rather, he sucks blood through the tips of his fingers. Other powers granted by his undead status include the ability to raise the dead and turn people into obedient zombies, as well as hypnotize people to his will with a glance.

He also has far more bizarre ability. Such as the ability to turn his hair follicles into mind controlling parasites, blast pressurized liquid out of his eyes like a laser, and freeze people on contact by vaporizing the water inside them. Thankfully, Dio is a law student. His degree doesn't require him to know that that makes no sense.

Unfortunately, Dio's plans for world domination were halted by his biggest weakness, a vulnerability to sun light. Dio's body could completely disintegrate if left exposed to the sun too long and Jonathan had just means he needed to exploit that. With the mystical martial art, Hamon, a breathing based technique that uses vibrations and the power of the sun to amplifier its user's physical abilities, Jonathan is able to defeat his villainous step brother.

Unfortunately, this didn't last. Even when reduced to just a head, Dio came back to ruin Jonathan's life one last time. Crashing Jonathan's wedding night, Dio killed Jonathan and hijacked his body, attaching his head to the Joestar's body and waiting at the bottom of the ocean for years, ready to return in the 80's and conquer the world.

Changing his name to an all caps DIO, DIO wished to be acknowledged as a god, seeking to achieve a world "Over Heaven". To this end, DIO would gather followers and eventually gain new abilities. After getting struck by a magic arrow, DIO gained a Stand, a metaphysical embodiment of his fighting spirit that takes the form of a golden humanoid floating behind him. DIO's Stand, named The World, can only be seen or hurt by other Stand users, but it is capable of protecting DIO and fighting on his behalf to a degree, acting as a guardian entity that can fight even when his physical body can't. What's more, The World can stop time.

DIO is capable of stopping time in a ten meter radius around himself as many times as wants for several seconds, with the duration getting longer each time. At it's peak, The World can stop time for up to 11 seconds, giving DIO ample opportunity to slaughter his prey and escape any trap you could set.

Moreover, DIO is remarkably clever and shocking charismatic for someone completely lacking in redeeming qualities. For example, DIO's vampire powers were initially hampered in this state due to Jonathan's body actively fighting against him, seriously weakening his healing factor in his fight against Jotaro. So, he got Jotaro to pumel him towards Joseph's body so he could drink his blood, using the Joestar's blood to regain the full extent of his vampire powers.

However, DIO is still the kind of man who unironically changes his name to GOD in all caps. Meaning he's still remarkably arrogant and overconfident, even with his cautious approach. He has a bad habit of wasting his time stop by monologing constantly and tends to be over reliant on it. To the extent that when Jotaro developed the same power, DIO was caught completely flat footed and subsequently killed.

Even in death, DIO is remembered as one of the vilest and most persistent villains the Joestar lineage would ever face, with a legacy would plague the bloodline to its dying day.

Throwdown Mashup:

youtube

Announcement Poll Results:

Throwdown Breakdown:

Oh, boy, this is a complicated one. For starters, this fight largely comes down to Time Stop vs Regeneration, and who can bypass the other's ace in the hole first.

They do counter each other out in a lot of neat ways. Alucard's superior shapeshifting should allow Alucard to counter out a lot DIO's shapeshifting tricks, for example, he could use it to simply dislodge DIO's hair buds before they take root and keep them from controlling him. Similarly, DIO wouldn't be able to pull a Jonathan here and hijack Alucard's body, as Alucard would just shapeshift around his skull and crush it.

On the other hand, Alucard cannot see DIO's stand, which, when combined with his time stop and on contact freezing, gives the stand user a definitive edge in hand to hand combat. Hell, DIO could even use that advantage to destroy Alucard's guns. But, Alucard's telekinesis would allow him to gain distance again in such a scenario.

Furthermore, Alucard should have an advantage at a distance. The time stop's low range would keep DIO from abusing his major trump card, restricting him to throwing knives and eye beams, both of which Alucard's healing factor can tank.

Buuuut, by that same token, DIO's regeneration is nothing to scoff at either. Alucard's is definitively superior mind, but DIO's should still be sufficient to survive Alucard's bullets, as JoJo vampires aren't weak to silver bullets like Hellsing vampires are and thus, it should have no effect on his healing factor. Similarly, Alucard's Intangibility is also fruitless, as Stands have consistently shown to be able to hurt ghosts and other intangible entities, like each other, so The World could still Muda Muda him.

There's just one massive problem here for both sides. Level 0 and sunlight. Simply put, DIO cannot possibly burn through all of Alucard's two million lives before the sun comes up unless Alucard uses Level 0. Problem is is neither side is going to know that. DIO doesn't know what the hell Level 0 is and Hellsing vampires aren't weak to sunlight, so Alucard wouldn't think to rely on sunlight.

Now, I'm not entirely convinced that Alucard would go Level 0 here. He only did it in canon when given an order to by Integra and when fighting two seperate armies simultaneously, which are pretty different circumstances than what's happening here. Even if he did, that's not a guaranteed win for DIO. He'd still have to get through an army 2 million strong to reach Alucard at that point and destroy his heart. But, DIO does still have a lot of advantages over Level 0 Alucard, such as being able to drink the blood off his zombies to heal, using his eye beams to cut down large hordes, and using The World and time stop to keep from being overwhelmed when cornered. While I do think DIO could eventually beat Level 0 Alucard, there's no guarantee he'd do it before the sun came up, especially depending on how late in the fight Alucard activates it.

The sun coming up isn't necessarily an automatic win for Alucard either. DIO could just use his stand to tunnel underground to escape it, much like Jotaro could. The problem is that Alucard is immediately going to wonder why he's doing that and put the pieces together. Alucard is by far the more experienced fighter between the two of them, after all, with four hundred years of experience and the memories of millions of soldiers in his head. He's definitely smart enough to realize that DIO's actively avoid the sun light and why. This means Alucard could just pull him out of the ground with telekinesis and let him vaporize. While time stop could prevent this, that would require Alucard to be within the time stop's range, which isn't likely considering how superior Alucard's telekinetic range is compared to The World.

Despite all of that, DIO does still have one solid win condition. Eye contact mind control. DIO could hypnotize Alucard with a glance, ask about his powers, and just force him to go Level 0 or join him in conquering the world. The problem is, DIO has never used this trick in a fight before and even if he did, Alucard could mind control him straight back and make him Muda Muda himself to death.

Over all, this is pretty comfortably Alucard's game. DIO's best win conditions rely on either himself or Alucard acting slightly out of character, while Alucard's has no such stipulation.

This Throwdown's Winner is...

Alucard!

#fictional throwdown fridays #stats equalized #hellsing #alucard hellsing #dio brando #jojo bizarre adventure #Youtube

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danwhobrowses · 9 months

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My Highlights of AEW All Out 2023

Normally Chicago would be AEW's 'home away from home', given how it was the birthplace of the idea that was AEW having hosted the original All In. Recent events however meant that there was, uncertainty, about how this would go.

With a slim build, since All In at Wembley was last week, and recent headlines, AEW had to deliver on All Out, but did they? Let's see

Spoilers for the PPV, only positives being listed

Zero Hour

Nice subtle shout out to Windham by Bryan, given that he was his last opponent in a strap match

Dalton Castle in general, that dude has it

Serpentico knew he was done, but at least he wasn't the first to be eliminated

Spears and Garcia having a dance off

Angelo Parker did get his wish, they put him down XD

Trent and Hangman deciding to shake hands

Garcia sad dances up the ramp

Toa Liona's pounce! Hangman ain't a little guy but he went flying

Deadeye finally won Hangman a match

I didn't get a chance to say for Wembley because I didn't get to see much of the finer details but Shida's gear is lovely

Mercedes and Diamante in matching gear

Athena regretting everything when Willow got tagged in

Shida vs Athena, give me what I want.

Sonjay in a basketball jersey, he's a goof

Bringing Aubrey to slight Karen was clever, especially since it offered some bias to the conclusion

Main Card

"This player called Michael Jordan, he was a good player"

Keeping the neck storyline going

MJF coming back for the big pop and hot tag

Joe with the shove XD

MJF vs Joe is a definite money match to cash in on

Christian Cage in general, excellent heel

Darby's selling too, he's made Luchasaurus look like a monster

Darby's Swanton out the ring onto a seated Luchasaurus

The Crucifix Bomb was clean too

Perfectly placed 'Father of the Year' sign

Lovely nearfall on the Avalanche Code Red

Instant chants of 'Meat' for Miro/Hobbs, we need more meat chants

Excalibur even referencing Big E's 'Big Meaty Men Slapping Man Meat'

Hobbs staying on his feet from the Matchka kick

Manly handshake, even if Hobbs then jumps him after

Miro's hot flexible double-jointed wife does exist!

Stat donning some Zoolander gear

A big nearfall with the Avalanche No Future and Destination Unknown too

Ricky coming out strap in hand already, a Cody-esque strap at that

They got Final Countdown again! Joey Tempest must love him some Danielson

That fucking crack from Danielson's whips

I mean you can not fake those hits, there's no leg slapping that is a strap whipping flesh over and over again

That was an amazing flash spear from Ricky too

On brand for ex-teacher Hangman to donate to a Public Education Fund

Shibata vs Claudio is another money singles bout

Claudio's been doing some great narrative heat though with not wanting to entertain Eddie directly

Very clean STO by Eddie

Fack Wheeler's dead by that Shibata backfist

Shibata fucking rocks man, we are so fortunate

Kenny repping the old DDT gear colours

FUCK ME, does Kenny even have a neck anymore?

Kenny isn't a small dude either and but Takeshita has been throwing this dude

"A hell of a kick" is a generic comment from Excalibur there

Takeshita and his bridges, beauteous

Don that would be a fucking murder...

Takeshita beat Kenny clean, which is one hell of a rub

The Gunns' entrance is perfect for the whole BCG group

Mini Cardblade? They better be in the merch store

When the Bucks wanna be dicks, they're very good at being dicks

4-Way Sharpshooter was a nice textbook spot that the Bucks and FTR have in common

Cash and Matt superkicks!? Matt and Dax spike piledriver!?

Four Corners Power Plex!!??

I've been living for these shared finishers

Love the pre-walk before the entrance for the main event too, big fight feel

I've seen the image of Orange's wrapped hand and Moxley, it's a great visual

Mox has looked absolutely feral this match

Blood Orange Cassidy taking pages out of Moxley's book

Beach Break on the unpadded floor, and the fan egging him on

Blood Orange Cassidy's serious kicks getting extra extra serious!

The Death Rider kickout

A tale of two images; a clean padded fist and Moxley, and then an empty backpack and a blood-stained fist of Cassidy

I would've preferred him to have won (Takeshita could've taken it from him to ride off of his win vs Omega) since Mox didn't really need the title but the ending of the PPV tells a greater story - the jester's ascent to worldwide respect - which brings it to a strong close.

Conclusion

Several instances of buffering aside, this was exactly what AEW needed to deliver. A strong PPV that won over a Chicago crowd, reminding the often forgetful wrestling world that AEW exists and thrives without CM Punk. Every time people doubt, AEW deliver big time. I may play a bit of bias and say All In was better by a minor margin, I think the overall match quality was better for All Out (sadly the ROH matches and some abrupt finishes brought it down a little) but I think the narratives and energy was better at All In.

Regardless on what side you're on in his dismissal, AEW picked their path and they are moving forward, moving on, and we've dropped some teases on where we can go next, and those are paths I look forward to seeing fleshed out and explored.

Match of the Night: Honestly, it was Miro/Hobbs for me. It's very tight; I really enjoyed the 8-man, TNT title, Kenny/Konosuke, the main event, the strap match, the the men's non-title tag match, the TBS title (though it did end a bit abruptly) but sometimes you just gotta appreciate big meaty men slapping man meat. Best Entrance: Bullet Club Gold, they look like the real deal with that entrance. Best Attire: Kenneth Jerome Omega with his DDT colours, it still fits him and it was a nice callback. Statlander's Zoolander gear is a close second, since Shida's white gear was technically for last week and barely lost out to Swerve's blue coat. Best Performance: Ricky Starks was close but there's no topping Orange Cassidy this time around. Spot of the Night: I loved the 4-corner power plex, and Takeshita's beautiful German Suplex, but the Strap Match where Ricky and Bryan just were whipping the tar out of each other is the most visceral for me.

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