#FUCK posted prematurely
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The left eye of the demigods
A recurring pattern some may have noticed a ways back is the unusual trait of sealed or missing left eyes among some of the demigods—now reiterated once again with the newly revealed Messmer the Impaler, a demigod of yet unknown origin. Eyes in Elden Ring are diegetically symbolic, meaning their hue and other characteristics illustrate to the player and to the characters within the game world their purpose within the setting.
The "lesser" demigods
Among the demigods, several of their lineage possess two gold eyes of varying shades or heterogenous pigmentation (meaning they show two distinct pigments in a single iris). These include:
Godwyn the Golden ("sullied" gold left eye in story trailer, two clouded gold eyes as the Prince of Death)
Morgott the Grace-Given (reddish-gold)
Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy (gold with red "spokes")
Starscourge Radahn (same as Rykard's)
Godrick the Grafted (clouded gold)
Gold eyes are a common sight among the non-Tarnished denizens of the Lands Between, whether their irises are entirely golden or marked with a sort of golden crescent. The red markings within Rykard and Radahn's eyes aren't so unusual given their heritage as the sons of Radagon, and Morgott's peculiar shade of gold likely relates to the Crucible, the primordial being that gives rise to the accursed Omen.
In Godfrey, First Elden Lord's portraits at the Roundtable Hold, his right eye is noticeably golden as well, while his left is obscured. As he was divested of Grace by Queen Marika, this gold hue faded. He is still possessed of both eyes in his boss battle, so he most likely also counts among the above listed demigods.
The Empyreans
Strangely, this only accounts for a small fraction of the greater pantheon. Most notable about each of these demigods, however, is that none of them are Empyreans, a unique class of demigods elected by the Two Fingers to succeed Queen Marika as vessels for the Elden Ring. Among the confirmed Empyreans, only one ia depicted with their eyes showing, and just barely:
Lunar Princess Ranni (right eye of spectral face blue, left eye of spectral face/right eye of doll sealed, left eye of doll pale blue)
Miquella the Unalloyed (face not yet shown)
Malenia, Blade of Miquella (both eyes sealed by rotten scales)
Presumably, to become a god, one must be a chosen Empyrean, so we can likely add Marika, Queen Eternal to this list. Strangely, her eyes are never shown either when we encounter her within the Erdtree (her right eye is tightly shut, and her left eye and socket are carved out by a cavity that encompasses the entire left hemisphere of her cranium), nor within any portraiture or statuary throughout the game.
Other demigods
Radagon of the Golden Order is regarded Marika's other half. Though he was disregarded a mere human champion during the Liurnian Wars, he was elevated to the status of a demigod, along with his direct children, upon marrying Marika, and later become something of a god when the two fractured into one. Like Marika, his appearance within the Erdtree is missing its left eye as a result of fracturing. His right eyelid is open, but in place of eyes, fragments of golden, runic light trace where irises would be.
Strangely enough, Radagon is depicted in the Roundtable Hold within another portrait, but his right eye is entirely black, including even his sclera. This appears again in the Radagon Icon illustration. (The manga adaptation, the Road to the Erdtree, was also careful to maintain this peculiar detail.) It isn't exactly clear whether this waa an artistic choice to obscure his eye, or if he literally had black eyes.
This leaves a handful more of Marika's demigod children unaccounted for:
Mohg, Lord of Blood (gold right eye with faded pupil, left eye gouged by his own horns)
Messmer the Impaler (right eye gold with slit pupil, left eye sealed)
Melina (gold right eye, sealed left eye with three-fingered dragon-like marking; when the left eye opens, the iris is a violet whirl)
Melina's origins are rather hazy even to her own knowledge, owing to her as of yet unexplained amnesia. One thing is certain: she claims to be the direct daughter of Queen Marika, and was addressed a specific duty, but what it was is now forgotten. Upon arriving at the Elden Throne and finding the Erdtree sealed (presumably by Radagon), Melina determines to act as kindling and set the Erdtree ablaze. Whether this was Marika's intention is uncertain, but Melina insists it is her choice, regardless of her mother's designs.
Should the player inherit the Frenzied Flame and usurp Melina's destiny without later curing their affliction, Melina will reappear in a secret ending. Her appearance is eerily altered, her hair now burnt and blackened, and her right eye clouded by pale gold. In swearing to hunt you to the ends of the earth, her left eye opens, revealing the violet whirl...
So what exactly is up with Melina's violet eye?
Shadows of the Empyreans
Oddly enough, Melina's violet eye isn't entirely unique. One other character in particular shares this trait—of all people, Blaidd the Half-Wolf is the only character with not just one, but two violet eyes.
Blaidd is the shadow of Lunar Princess Ranni, tailored by her Two Fingers to serve either as her devout guardian on her path to succeed Queen Marika, or her ruthless killer should she betray the Greater Will. He is one of two shadows encountered in the game, the other being Maliketh, who serves an identical function for Queen Marika. When the player encounters Maliketh under the guise of Gurranq, he bestows upon them the Beast Eye, a half-petrified, violet eyeball seemingly plucked from his own skull to aid them in weeding Deathroot. (One can infer the player is the second recipient of an eye, and that the other was previously gifted to D, Hunter of the Dead.)
Evidently, the violet eyes are likely a symbol of the shadows' nature as retainers for their Empyrean masters. Both Blaidd and Maliketh are regarded honorary brothers to their Empyreans, perhaps indicating the two were not born by any conventional means, but somehow fashioned from an aspect of the Empyreans, and especially designed by the Two Fingers to best fulfill their duty as vassals.
Seeing as Ranni's eye is sealed much like Melina's, one has to wonder... what color was it? Are all Empyreans marked with this violet eye? Why would they all be sealed? Was this some sort of countermeasure to prevent them from rebelling against the Greater Will?
While Maliketh wields the Rune of Death itself in the form of an obsidion blade, the baleful shadows that hunt Ranni in Blaidd's image possess blades infused with Destined Death. When Melina's left eye opens, it is precisely at the moment she vows to "return" Destined Death to the Tarnished. Might it be that shadows are created to withhold the Empyreans' ability to raise Destined Death against the gods...?
The Gloam-Eyed Queen
In the grand history of the Lands Between, one other Empyrean is said to have lived long before the current pantheon. This is, of course, the alluringly mysterious Gloam-Eyed Queen, commander of the Godskins who channeled Destined Death.
Before the Golden Order was founded, this enigmatic matriarch wielded the power of Blackflame to hunt the gods and fashion from their flesh the ghastly accoutrements worn by her mad followers. When Marika arrived in the Lands Between, her loyal shadow was tasked with sealing Destined Death and severing the bloodthirsty Empyrean's ability to slay the gods, at which point she either perished, or vanished into obscurity.
Naturally, the term "Gloam-Eyed Queen" conjurs the image of a violet-eyed matriarch. Her Godskin children bear great amethyst pendants, after all, and it's clear that violet eyes are representative of a unique cosmological function. Perhaps being the first known Empyrean besides Marika, the Gloam-Eyed Queen was directly responsible for the trend of bestowing the chosen candidates for the Elden Ring with their personal shadow? As far as can tell, the Gloam-Eyed Queen never had her own shadowbound knight...
Enter Messmer
Though it's obviously pointless to ponder when his story will be fully presented in a little under four months, it's difficult not to ponder his place in this "rule of eyes." Like Melina and Ranni, Messmer's left eye is sealed or missing. Could this illustrate that he is yet another Empyrean?
In any case, he appears to be a child of Marika as well, but whether directly or indirectly remains unclear. Considering the numerous, soulless demigods of the Wandering Mausoleums are each and all regarded the "unwanted children" of Marika, it's possible that the term "mother" is used rather loosely here.
(Contrary to popular belief, demigods do not need to be the direct offspring of Marika. After all, Enia divulges that Godrick is no more than a distant grandchild, his noble blood diluted over countless generations. Other demigods may include Millicent and the Sisters of Rot, as they are each targeted as potential vessels for the Outer God of Rot in Malenia's stead.)
If it should be revealed that Messmer, like Melina, is marked with a violet left eye in his second phase, or perhaps if we encounter yet another wolf-headed shadow... Well, that's as much as I'll allow myself to overhype my own theories, lol.
Miscellaneous
While obscured left eyes may designate the Empyreans among the demigods, I believe there is one exception: Mohg, Lord of Blood. Though his left eye is technically sealed, this was merely a result of his poor hygiene and allowing a cutaneous horn to drive itself into his eyeball. Nowhere is it ever remotely suggested he is an Empyrean.
Another peculiar case is Malenia, as both of her eyes are welded shut by dense scales of Scarlet Rot, akin to leporosy. This may not have always been the case, however, as with the limbs she lost to illness.
One other peculiar detail: in Melina's secret ending, her gold eye becomes clouded. Fascinatingly, this effect is shared by Vyke's Finger Maiden at the Church of Inhibition, but in both of her eyes. It is not, however, shared by the deceased Finger Maiden at the Church of Anticipation, nor Finger Maiden Therolina, so it seems to be a very deliberate choice. Could this relate to the theme of Frenzied Flame and the usurpation of the kindling maidens' destiny...?
(It's hard to get a clear picture of her, lol.)
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Transformers Funnies [Beasties Style]
1 / 2 / ?
#transformers#beast wars#optimus primal#cheetor#dinobot#rattrap#waspinator#scorponok#tarantulas#tigatron#airazor#blackarachnia#rhinox#the way waspy and scorpy are the dumbest ones but waspy is like 'fuck that guy hes szzzzo szzzztupid'#maccadam#posting this prematurely i havent started season 3#i need to find bw megatron core memes#silverbolt#forgot to tag him oopsie
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Imagine being such a FUCKING IDIOT that you erase the bravery of even mentioning AIDS in Falsettos and proceed to be like “oh Whizzer never died, nothing bad ever happened” BECAUSE IT DID THATS THE WHOLE POINT, it was taboo to talk about it at the time, it was taboo to even have gay characters in media and they were talking about recent TRAGEDIES that are happening, LIKE AT THAT TIME.
I’ve seen this sentiment over and over again in SOOO many posts but some of you do not seem to get it… FUCKING IDIOTS
#falsettos#im tired of people being nice about this#i hope all of you fucking die#this post short and sweet like a dude who prematurely ejaculates
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people practice w Them <3
#posting this and then shoving my head into a hole Bye#i am! Not Confident!!! in my people scribbling abilities!!#but im trying!!! im fucking trying!!!#i already see improvement#not enough to make me go 'wee the masses are gonna love this'#but enough that i can fathom posting. i can handle it. i can do this#if i dont do it now then i never will!!!!#im still gonna scream into a pillow rip it apart and then eat the stuffing!!!!#ah... the mortification of Existing... of Being Perceived...#it is ever present and inescapable! youd thing id be used to it by now!!!#ill be on my death bed asking people to leave the room so that i can die w/o feeling horribly self conscious and Seen#no seriously every time i think about my potential death and or coma should that happen#i prematurely cringe at the Attention. people potentially crying at my bedside Eugh No Thank You Please Do That Elsewhere#either call me a loser and drop off a single flower or leave me be <3#THIS IS A WELCOME HOME SCRIBBLE POST. IM SORRY I FORGOT#scribble garnish#uh um uh so uh wally and barnaby am i rite fellas-#in my mind they're picking up takeout for dinner <3#yeah no im not tagging it with a fandom tag. i dont want to be perceived As We've Established#im somewhat satisfied with that first wally.... swag <3#& do i have major gender envy for barnaby? yeah#im not used to drawing people but i should be... i need to be...#THERE ARE GUYS I WANNA DRAW! mine and others!!! ngl mostly mine!!!
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releasing this from the hj discord dungeon because the public populace was in agreement also i'm chronically offline on tumblr and need to fix that for my chronically online ahh
#hand jumper#webtoon#sayeon lee#she couldn't even enjoy herself once she gets into the decent university because she got sent to the corps sayeon lee my giiirl#SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO BASK IN THE GLORY OF VALEDICTORIAN BECAUSE SHE WAS CONSCRIPTED 😭#bro she's built like those kids in school who dump social interaction the moment exam season comes around#she's built like and earned that first honours fr.#but the corps said nah so she did the one thing those kids do make life even HARDER for themselves#even if in context it's no even hard it's just a matter of survival in the corps so success is the only option lest you die#hj reminds me of kaiji a lot with how they handle this but they're like two different genres but i digress#so she created TWO short term goals that forced her to hammer down her if not reinforce her previous values/beliefs#and if you read fp or wait until this tuesday lemme tell you rn it gets worse#which force her back into her shell and wall she's built#which is fucked up bc juni's wall is coming down when cell 4 didn't die as quick as she'd thought and surpassed her expectations#sayeon try not to be any characters narrative foil/parallel challenge fail 1000% speedrun#this only gets worse in fp and while this was in my drafts since the morning#i will say i literally just had a conversation abt this with my g bigbrainmanyvibes before prematurely leaving for lunch#but i set an alarm to actually post all the memes i made here so imma do this one now then the rest later#JOIN THE HJ DISCORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WAY EASIER TO USE!!!!![to me......]#PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#that's it for my obligatory plug for the hj discord you can stop reading now i you haven't already stopped because i make this thing a diar#anw GLORY TO SAYJIN NATION!!!!!!!!!
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it is always a little funny to me when people try to make psychologists and psychiatrists out to be the only people ever capable of being able to accurately diagnose mental illnesses and disorders and that their word is law as a way to criticize self diagnosis when like. once i was hospitalized and the psychiatrist there who i had not even known for more than a day tried to diagnose me as bipolar despite me having No history of mania because he.. couldn't really understand why i acted the way i did i guess???
#milgran't#tw hospital#tw psych ward#i just randomly remembered this (i say randomly as if i dont know exactly why im thinking about this stuff). dont mind me#tbh i should make a tag for like. more personal posts. but. idk what to make the tag name..#oh well#apologies for not being cool and collected and expressing things that show that im a human with emotions and needs recently#The Holidays are probably. one of the worst times of the year for me </3#its not even seasonal depression or whatever its just Oh Jesus Oh Fuck Oh God (gets hit by 99999 trauma bullets)#that psychiatrist sucked SOOOO fucking bad btw#trying to prematurely diagnose me as bipolar was one of the tamest things he did during my stay#i hate him i genuinely hope he dies <3#tbh i think he actually did. Break The Law with me. he probably couldve argued it was for the safety of others bc im crazy :3. but.#sometimes i just Remember That and im like. huh. hey what the fuck actually#but seriously. so many mental health professionals just make you sit there and go. .. how the FUCK did you get your license??????#ive heard some of The Most ''oh only people who are completely ignorant about mental health say this!'' type of shit from professionals#idk why im the one being labelled as insane when they think saying some of that shit is okay and professional MFKDLSFMDSf
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everyday for the past two months it's been waking up in the morning to the most horrifying war crimes being committed by a fascist colonial power run by a death cult, followed by said power fabricating the most offensive and easily debunked lies to excuse said war crimes, then the entire fucking world media believing them and waving around their pathetic little crocodile tears as i pass by the news that the soldiers of that world power shot an old woman in the entrance of a hospital and used her as bait to shoot any medic who tried helping her, followed by a video of parents looking through the charred remains of children's limbs and scalps trying to recognize their own. and then i go to brazilian TV and find the news that a brazilian palestinian has finally been able to leave Gaza and all the reporters wanna focus on is how they're probably a terrorist because of these posts from 2015 where they condemn israel's actions. and then i look at the presidents of the only few nations who have the power to stop this genocide with a single phone call and how they entirely refuse to do shit about it, just to be told on tumblr dot com that praying for the dismantlement of the state of israel is evil and inconsiderate because don't you know they suffered really really badly in the past (but also please don't google the rates of poverty of holocaust survivors and how they're treated by the government of the country that was supposed to be a safe haven. well at least george from pennsylvania can move and have a beautiful view of the burned olive tress from the multigenerational house he stole in the west bank, and isn't THAT what really matters)
#anyways today's lie was the israeli government posting a picture of a kurdish woman who had been raped and killed in may 2023#claiming it is a israeli woman from oct 7#meanwhile they ravage Al Shifa hospital because there are terrorist bases there guys trust us!!!!!#they're right behind these premature babies suffocating because the incubators have no more energy!!!!!#just one more group of terrorist guys and we'll be fine and have peace forever!!!!!!#god what a bunch of ghouls#and western powers are gladly funding this shit#but nooooo don't call for a free palestine don't u know it's actually a call for genocide 🥺 unlike whatever we are doing in gaza#godddd#fuck the US fuck France fuck Germany fuck Russia and FUCK ISRAEL 🖕🖕🖕#''right to defend itself'' babygirl you don't even have a right to exist. your PEOPLE have a right to exist and feel safe like all others#but no nation state has rights and especially none that prioritize its own existence over indigenous people's lives
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johnjess + maximum mary may inconvenience
HI STELLA THANK YOU so. this technically maybe still counts for the prompt since probably about five sentences of it actually are nsfw. but it did in fact turn into a full fic of them being annoying so for that i am sorry to everyone, especially mary may (although she’s spared directly bearing witness to them today)
summary: john and jessie go for a joy ride.
wordcount: 2.5k
warnings: explicit sexual content, physical violence. not mutually exclusive, per usual they cannot decide if they want to beat the shit out of each other or fuck so they go back and forth. john busts in his pants as decided by the voters. widowmaker slander. mary may suffering implied.
It was a particularly tacky chess piece they currently warred over, Jestiny thought, even by his standards.
Certainly not worth all the pawns left bleeding out on the board as the two remaining players resorted to wrestling head-to-head for it.
From the migraine-inducing neon pink blending to blue gradient to the flames reaching out from the gaudy chrome plated grill to the proud design of a bald eagle screeching over stars and stripes decorating the sleeper cabin, well…
It was an extremely ugly truck.
“O-Oh, fuck me, I want —”
But he looked extremely pretty shoved against the side of it.
“I want you to hand over the goddamn keys to this piece of shit,” she grunted in interruption, willing herself to stay focused on the mission she’d set out to accomplish despite feeling just what he wanted very clearly along the front of his jeans as she thrust her hands into his pockets in search.
His chest heaved against hers as he drew in a breath to speak more sharply, as if suddenly reminded that he was being thrown against the side of a semi-trailer as part of an ongoing struggle between their respective militias over the vehicle and not simply for recreation. “Well, I want you to give up on these childish games and face the gravity of your — Oh, fuck —”
Despite the rekindled contempt he nonetheless hiked a leg up as if appeasing her demand, the rubber of his shoes squealing against metal siding followed closely behind by a jingle of keys falling easily from the baggy confines of his pocket, with no added tightness reaching the backside of his jeans.
She caught the keys in her palm, throwing them to the opposite hand then reaching up to grip the back of his thigh and hold it in place as she gave the keyring a spin around her finger — leaning in to press lips against those pursed in some limbo between spitting out insults and cooing honeyed pleas, kissing him slow and deep, as if she could literally savor the victory from it.
The irony of giving a victory kiss to the very man whose defeat she celebrated was not lost on her.
She gave a soft snort of laughter at the thought as she pulled back, playfully brushing her nose against his in parting before darting to the side to hop up the running board and throw the driver’s side door open.
As she climbed inside she couldn’t resist tossing her head back to catch a parting glimpse of the oh so satisfying look of incredulity fixing itself on John’s face, jaw dropped and brow pinched downward and eyes bulging as if in bewilderment that she would have the audacity to actually use the keys she’d spent so much effort wrestling him for.
He remembered his faculty for language first, his jaw twitching to speak. “I hope you enjoy just how excruciating the realization of the complete futility of your actions is going to be!” He remembered his faculty for movement next, darting forward to wedge his shoulder against the doorframe before she could pull it to shut. “That every sin you’ve committed has done nothing but deprive the righteous and deserving of —”
She kicked the door outward so as to pull it in again and slam it shut on his shoulder. “This is what you fuckin’ deserve!” She kicked his battered shoulder to send him tumbling to the ground. “And I hope that was fuckin’ excruciating!”
She slammed the door shut as she turned the key in the ignition and waited for the truck to slowly rumble to life.
She paused a moment before reaching for the gearshift, instead throwing her hand to the left to crank the window down. She leaned her head out of the window, glancing down at him one last time.
She also had to admit he looked very pretty bruised up and bloodied and on his knees, trembling arms grasping in a feeble effort to crawl his way up the side of The Widowmaker.
She licked her lips, hanging her arm out the window to slap her palm against the side of the door before raising the hand in an exaggerated wave of ‘goodbye.’
“Happy fucking trails, John!” she called through the window, shoving the gear into drive and ramming her boot down onto the gas. “I’m hauling out!”
A blur of dark blue shot across her periphery as the truck slowly crept forward, quickly materializing as freckled and black inked arms flung over the ledge of the window just as the vehicle slowly lurched forward past the opening garage door and rolled along the short gravel drive.
“I hope you don’t mind extra cargo!”
He dove through the window, flinging his body across her lap as he landed, just as the grill of the truck crashed through the chain link gates.
She clenched her fists against the wheel as she felt it slip unexpectedly to the right beneath her fingers, flexing her arms to resist the force of intruding hands jerking it in an effort to steer the truck away from the path back to town.
“You’re gonna end up as fucking roadkill!” she shouted as she yanked the wheel back towards the left with one hand, the other loosening its grip long enough for her to swing an elbow down to land between his shoulder blades and knock him to the floorboards. “Either from you crashing us and getting us killed or else from me bashing your fucking brains out on the pavement!”
“Oh, yes!” he cried with sarcastic enthusiasm, craning his neck to look up at her from his place landed at her feet. “There’s that wrath, that insatiable need for senseless destruction! That relentless bloodlust driving you to —” She thrust a hand downward to bunch in his hair, yanking him up by it to intercept the conspicuous creeping of his hand towards the brake pedal as he rose. “Oh, yes,” he repeated lower and more breathy as she tightened her grip, a rosy flush spreading along his cheeks and making her suddenly process the familiar position of his head at her lap. “Th-There’s — that feels —”
She briefly lifted her foot off the gas, just long enough to swing the leg outward to hook around his neck and guide his head between her thighs properly before planting back on the accelerator.
“God, you make me so…” he trailed off with a defeated whine, concern over their big rig tug-of-war seeming to melt away with his wilting into the caress of her fingers along his scalp, hands abandoning any effort to wrestle control of the truck in favor of working at the buttons of her shorts and pulling them down past her thighs.
She willed her eyes to stay open and focused on the road as she allowed her head to fall back with the dizzying glide of pleasure flooding from the press of his mouth against her.
“See?” she hummed, weaving her last remaining thread of composure into her words to lace them solid despite the tremor threatening to slip into her voice. “Doesn’t it feel better to be where you belong and behaving instead of being a fucking problem for once?”
She could feel the electricity of bright blue eyes shooting open to lock onto her face in response just as tangibly as she could the slide of his tongue, the thrill it sent shivering through her just as powerful. So powerful she couldn’t resist sparing a quick glance down to meet his gaze, stroking her hand along the top of his head and down the nape of his neck in encouragement and delighting in the upward furrow of his brow it drew.
It was a sight so lovely it caused heat to flare, the drumming of her pulse to ratchet up to a heavy pounding, a harsh thudding that almost seemed to shake the frame of the truck itself as —
She realized with a forward jolt the thud she felt did not come from the cavern of her chest, but from the collision of the grill of the truck with a hastily placed roadblock of eggshell white vehicles she easily plowed through.
A body bouncing along the windshield to leave behind a smear of blood and spiderweb of splintering glass was perhaps one of the best wake up calls a girl could get that she really shouldn’t be doing what she was doing at the moment.
And getting road head from a murderous cult leader decidedly numbered among things Jessie shouldn’t be doing.
He seemed to reach a similar realization in the same instant, giving two heavy blinks before once again grabbing for the brake and steering wheel just as she lifted a foot to kick him back towards the passenger’s seat.
But the sharp jerk of the wheels to the left sent her flying across the cabin instead, her skull knocking against the glove compartment as she landed.
“Ah,” John sighed with sarcastic pity, giving her an exaggerated shake of his head as he hopped up into the seat. “Perhaps that will teach you the importance of wearing a seat belt.” He clicked his into place with a dramatic flourish of his arm in punctuation. “Since you refuse to learn anything else.”
“Why you fuckin’ —” she only briefly paused to cradle the aching side of her skull before lunging forward, hands shooting towards the straps of the seat belt. “We’ll see how much good a seat belt is gonna do you!” she shouted, fighting to keep her balance despite the stars dancing along her vision and the further bumpy careening of the car to the right as John hurriedly spun the wheel to reverse their course. She mustered her strength to snap the seat belt taut and pull it against his throat, fists pulling the ends they bunch around towards the headrest to cut off his air.
With a choked gasp he brought one hand to the seat belt to claw at the strap and pull it away — the other hand rushing to join it a second later when the force proved insufficient, leaving the wheel clear and unmanned.
Jestiny quickly seized the opening, finally releasing the seat belt to instead wrap her hands around the steering wheel and pull herself forward.
She threw an elbow back to jab into his stomach and knock the breath he’d managed to suck in right back out as she lowered herself to sit atop his lap in the driver’s seat, stomping a foot down on his to jam on the gas pedal as she spun the wheel to its limits to send the the truck in yet another full reversal.
“Jessie,” he hissed out hoarsely, hot breath falling against her back through the thin fabric of her t-shirt as he continued gasping for air. “You need to get the fuck up right now and let me drive this monstrosity back to its rightful place.”
Seems like he recovered fast, unfortunately. Freshly strangled and he still couldn’t shut up.
But at least they could agree on the monstrosity part.
“I think I’ll stay right fucking here,” she chirped in reply, scooting back and side to side in a pantomime of settling into place. “Bein’ my seat cushion may be the first useful thing you ever do in your fucking life.”
Although she could feel as she shifted against him that there was very little cushion to be found — sharp ridges of hip bones cut towards conspicuous hardness straining as tightly as ever against denim.
He recovered fast.
“You are the most stubborn, infuriating, obstinate…” he panted against her shoulder as he buried his face into it, hips flexing beneath her in unsteady rhythm, “impossible, difficult —”
“Hard?” she offered, flashing a smirk towards the rear view mirror so he could see it as she set a pace grinding back against him. “To deal with?”
He humphed in complaint, leaned forward and reached to settle his hands at the wheel beneath hers, barely peeking over her shoulder to look through the windshield. “You have —” he drew in a sharp breath. “No idea — what the fuck you’re doing. You —”
“I have a pretty fucking good idea,” she replied with another wriggle of her hips, a rush of satisfaction swelling inside her as she felt firm pressure drag along the seam of her shorts and moved to cover his hands with her own to easily overpower his weak efforts to turn the wheel and resume their struggle.
“Fuck!” She felt fingers flex beneath hers with a final tensing of his muscles — followed by broken cry and a frantic, uncontrolled upward buck of his hips as his grip broke from the wheel completely to instead wrap arms around her waist, burying his face against her back as he clung to her, entire body shuddering beneath her.
But his shaking was quickly overshadowed by the rough bouncing of the truck itself — her brain belatedly taking stock of the fact the wheel had been jerked sharply to the left, the sudden absence of his resisting force giving her no time to ease back her own and resulting in her steering the car off the road entirely.
“Fuck!” she shouted in turn, attempting to jerk the wheel back in the direction of the road only to have the bumper meet the ledge of the ditch they’d swerved into — the arms wrapped around her waist all that kept her from flying from her seat again. Instead, she merely banged her head against the steering wheel as they were thrown forward, a harsh screech of metal against metal filling the air.
She lifted head pulsing with pain to see the view of a solid wall of dirt greeting her, topped off with a mangled length of guardrail impaling the hood of the truck.
“Well, now nobody gets it,” Jessie grumbled in defeat, kicking a boot against the door in frustration and crossing her arms over her chest.
John slowly blinked bleary eyes to open, trailing along the length of the windshield to assess the damage before settling on her face.
“I hope you’re satisfied,” he huffed, smoothing a hand over his hair as if it could help him to regain some composure. “This is the fruit of your labor,” he said, waving a hand at the wreckage in front of them.
“Not as satisfied as some of us, maybe,” she scoffed, nodding down at his lap.
He cleared his throat, turning his head away from her. “It was a very bumpy ride,” he said. He kept his gaze down, fingers slowly moving towards her waistband. “But I can make it up to you, if —”
“Oh, you’re gonna,” she spat back firmly, shifting in his lap to face him and shoving a hand against his collarbone. “Not like we’re fucking going anywhere,” she added with a roll of her eyes, sliding off of his lap and between the seats, pulling him along by the wrist towards the sleeper cabin behind them.
Maybe they could get some use out of this stupid, hideous truck. He did recover fast, after all.
And looked very pretty kneeling on the floorboards.
#oc: deputy jestiny ellen#otp: stop bothering these nice folks#writies and wordies#nsft#written in part due to me realizing jessie definitely crashes the widowmaker but plot may be too tight for it to happen in wildfire proper#so this can be considered wildfire supplemental canon. but definitely canon.#also assume the crashed widowmaker stays there and becomes one of their regular fuck spots#sorr — (remembers that thanking instead of apologizing is healthier for you and your relationships)#*thank you* for allowing me to prematurely ejaculate in the widowmaker#and etc#also yes im posting at clown times once again
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#https://onlyfans.com/ruby1601#premature ejaculator#sexy titts#so hot 🔥🔥🔥#5 posts#anime and manga#hot as fuck#superhot#sexy breast#sexy tease
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top 5 worst westerns >:3
Michael Cimino's Heaven's Gate (1980)
Michael Cimino's Heaven's Gate (1980)
Michael Cimino's Heaven's Gate (1980)
Michael Cimino's Heaven's Gate (1980)
Michael Cimino's Heaven's Gate (1980)
Ok but in all honesty.
Michael Cimino's Heaven's Gate (1980)
Bronco Billy (1980)
Paint Your Wagon (1969)
The Return of Sabata (1971)
The Ridiculous Six (2016)
#if u saw this ask when i posted it prematurely.... no u didnt#lots of westerns are terrible but these are the extraordinary stinkers#some of them are bad in a fun way tho#bronco billy and return of sabata are both DEEPLY entertaining. i would gladly watch them a billion times#BECAUSE they are bad#but then theres fucking heavens gate#a film that fills me with unholy rage#for being so deeply unwatchable and miserable to sit through#trin im still debating how many of these i can show you in good conscience. is it humane ?#in the case of heavens gate it was not.#heaven's gate (1980)#bronco billy (1980)#paint your wagon (1969)#the return of sabata (1971)#the ridiculous six (2016)#westerns#🤠#🍝#asks#murderr
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the more i learn about the american revolution the more hamilton: the musical infuriates me
(read tags for context pls i go off on a mega tangent)
#no offense to lmm at ALL i know that he had to keep the musical entertaining and that it wasnt meant to be a complete biography but GOOD GOD#wh-why is stay alive (set the winter of valley forge to a bit after the battle of monmouth) like 6 SONGS AFTER “a winter's ball” LIKE-#THAT SONG TAKES PLACE IN 1980 WHILE THE EVENTS IN “stay alive” TAKE PLACE IN 17781?1??11??!?2?+?1#ALEX AND ELIZA HAD ONLY LIKE VERY BRIEFLY MET LIKE ONCE BEFORE IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY#AND AND AND#THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH TAKING PLACE RIGHT AFTER THE LAURENS LEE DUEL AND MEET HIM INSIDE?? WHAT????#DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PLACEMENT OF MEET ME INSIDE#HAMILTON DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE HIS POST AS AIDE-DE-CAMP TIL LIKE EARLY 1781???? YEARS AFTER THE DUEL???? WHILE HE WAS ALREADY WED TO ELIZA????#AND WASHINGTON DIDNT EVEN KICK HIM OUT BC OF THE DUEL LIKE???#ALSO THIS IS KIND OF MINOR BUT#SAYING THAT LAURENS WAS IN SC DURING THE BATTLE OF YORKTOWN WHEN IN REALITY HE WAS IN THE BATTLE LITERALLY *WITH* ALEXANDER JUST FISKDNQMDNA#also i stand by the fact that “satisfied” should've 100% been sung by laurens instead of angelica#as far as i'm aware there is a lot more evidence to suggest laurens and hamilton being a thing than angelica and alex being a thing lmao#ALSO#wher the fuck were meade tilghman harrison reed mchenry and fitzgerald???? (idk if there were more aides i forget lmao)#and why include hercules mulligan in the main war group when LAFAYETTE AND LAURENS LITERALLY NEVER MET HIM???#WHY NOT REPLACE HIM WITH ONE OF THE OTHER AIDE-DE-CAMPS I PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED????#I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS LIN WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME#lin buddy i love you and the musical *LITERALLY* saved my life but#good god man the inaccuracies in the 1st act give me fucking heart burn....got me prematurely balding over here jfc#amrev#amrev fandom#i guess?#alexander hamilton#hamilton the musical#john laurens#lams#these tags are an entire seperate post jfc#lin manuel miranda#shit i accidentally said 1980 instead of 1780 pls ignore i typed fast and angrily
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youtube
i've been working on this cover on and off since march
#vocaloid#hatsune miku#miku hatsune#初音ミク#nightcore#webcore#y2k#<- i don't know how many tags tumblr lets you use they keep changing it i think#my art#my audio#the photo is so huge it's taking forever to process and i don't want to post prematurely OUGH#fuck it if the image doesn't upload i'll just throw myself in front of a train#Youtube
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do you guys wanna know something insane. i was 1 pound when i was born.
#i wish i had a baby pic of me i just talked ab it in the tags of a post#but i was born so premature#it’s my life so i take that for granted kinda but it’s insane#i was born at the end of my moms second trimester#had to be kept in an incubator NO TOUCH until my due date (14/02/94 i was born 23/11/93)#like that’s fucking insane. there was a drug that came out the year before i was conceived#that helped idk. strengthen babies in the womb. and had i been born before that. well. i would not have been born#saved my life and my moms!#just insane to think i’m literally in terms of weight over 100 times bigger haha#i could fit!!! i could FIT IN MY DADS PALM. LIKE MY HEAD AT HIS FINGER TIPS MY TOES JUST OAST HIS WRIST!
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sometimes I will see opinions, and I just have to live with that. It gets to me sometimes tho
#this is specifically about owl house tho#saw someone not too long ago call Luz's character bland and compared her to Anne Boonchuy#and today I saw someone say that mcu is the same as toh since there arent any risks taken and the dialogue isnt great#so first off Id like to say nuh uh. wrong. quit that#secondly toh literally got an ENTIRE Season prematurely cut to a significant amount of time BECAUSE the risks taken for the show#meanwhile the mcu's biggest risk is having a gay person on screen for a solid 5 seconds only to cut them in other countries#literally right now there are posts on here talking about the vfx workers who were incredibly mistreated by marvel and disney#yet marvel will still get whatever it wants.#gunna be completely honest that actually pissed me off LMAO. the show itself since the beginning has always been a risk#a show that has an actual older woman as a main character who is meant to represent people with illnesses and is also bisexual is way more#than anything mcu has done. they couldnt even stick with one of their main blonde boys being fat without making it seem pathetic#not to mention toh is all about not conforming to not only society but those in power meanwhile mcu is literally government funded#alright. got. got a bit too heated LMAO#it just really like feels a slap to the face that they compared 2 disney products that are completely treated differently for different#reasons. I know a good proportion of mcu views are stuff for casual viewers who dont care for comics and just wanna see a movie#but still!!! fuck all that lmao#anyways this post is also for other shit tho. I see sonic takes that should probably be punishable by cringe#not that Im blaming anyone ofc not hggghgcoughcoughfandubcoughbekb.#but yea. god. what a fucking day.
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Me: you have my file (save button) and not a cactus (post button)
Tumblr: absolutely I have the file
Me: cool let's see it
Tumblr: post :)
#the cariton post WOULD have posted prematurely if tumblr hadnt given me trust issues#i had that entire thing exactly how i wanted it before i ever added the readmore. which always fucks up the save option#luckily that was the last thing i wanted to add lmao
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throwing ideas against the wall (a la spaghetti) abt how their adventures affect them and I think Gwyn’s gonna lose a couple fingers at least between bw and bw2; she and zekrom get Got by kyurem under ghetsis’ control and while they survive by zekrom reforming into the dark stone and taking gwyn in with it, they still get hit with a nasty amount of glaciates and while zekrom is able to hibernate to recoup that damage, gwyn is just kinda kept in stasis w that frostbite and when she’s freed even though Nate’s Arcanine is there to warm her up it’s not enough and loses something
#trying to add more. figure out. disability rep#she bugs Nate into cutting off and sewing shut the extra fingers of her gloves. says they get in the way and she doesn’t want to deal w em#dawn frequently dissociates post-distortion world (spirit gets caught between worlds)#and after she gets isekaied to hisui she gets fucked up by wild Pokémon over the years to the point she needs a cane most days#*crutches too#and can’t rlly walk at all on others#Yvonne has chronic fatigue due to a bond w yveltal (a passive drain on her energy; she’s going gray prematurely)#increasing exposure to necrozma’s ultra form has moon increasingly dealing w sight loss#she starts using a white cane and trains her Leafeon as a guide pokemon#post-gs summer deals with chronic pain+fevers+migraines (pseudo-bond w Ho oh; having a god lurking in the back of ur head will fuck u up)#Michael (Orre) loses an arm to shadow lugia#day to day he doesn’t bother with a prosthetic but bc I think it’s cool he gets a prosthetic w a built in snag machine. fuckin rad#um. idk. Nate’s got something going on I think but I’m not. sure. what I want to do there
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