hey babe, let’s go out tonight

tasm!peter parker x reader

summary: while having lunch with peter parker you pine for him so much it hurts.

warnings: fluff, idiots in love, friends to lovers, reader has hair long enough to put behind their ear

wc: 1.5k

It’s a sunny day, you forgot your sunglasses and now are cursing at yourself, because the sun shines damn brightly. And because of this you almost don’t notice the boy approaching the bench you’re lounging on.

“Hi there, sunshine,” says Peter teasingly as he drops his backpack next to your feet. You pull your earbuds out and pretend you didn’t catch the stupid nickname he gave you.

Stupid, stupid, stupidly cute nickname.

That was the whole thing with Peter Parker. You were unable to define what you two had going on, which was terrifyingly exciting. Technically you were friends—best friends, even. Inseparable, two halves of the whole, unstoppable and forever. At least it felt like it. You always appreciated those moments with him; walks in the park, getting milkshakes, seeing cheap and bad movies at your local theater, or like now, having lunch together everyday at 12 between your classes. But sometimes his eyes would linger on yours for too long, and the honey of his eyes would envelop you, and his hair would look so soft, and his lips so pink, and the little beauty mark on his cheek so worthy of your love, and those tranquil moments would become too intimate for you. Everytime you scold yourself for feeling the warmth dripping from your heart and flooding your body. 

He doesn’t feel that way. You shouldn’t feel that way.

“Hi,” you smile, finally able to open your eyes fully thanks to the shadow he’s casting while towering over you. “You’re late.”

“By a minute,” he rolls his eyes and, oh god, oh god, no, he takes his hoodie off in that stupid way that he does, his t-shirt riding up and leaving his abdomen naked right in front of you.

You immediately look down to find your bag and take out a sandwich and an apple you packed for lunch. Totally not thinking about the trail of dark hair leading from his navel downwards, disappearing into his old, kinda ripped jeans (he refuses to admit they’re old; he claims ripped jeans are fashionable now and he bought them like this).

After a second you feel the sun shining on you again and hear Peter flopping down next to you. His knee is touching yours and you hate how much you love this feeling.

“What were you listening to?” he looks at you with a smirk and those puppy eyes and, before you can answer, reaches over your thighs to check one of your earbuds. You hope he didn’t notice the goosebumps you got when his hand touched your lap. “David Bowie?” smiling he hands you the other earbud. You put it in and hear Rebel Rebel blasting with the volume almost maxed out.

You smile at the familiar beat and close your eyes, mouthing the lyrics and bobbing your head.

He doesn’t stop looking at you, though. You feel his gaze on your nose, lips, chin, lips again. 

But it might all be just my imagination. Human mind plays tricks on us, especially when we want something very much, right? Didn’t Freud say something about one’s deepest wants appearing in their–

Stop. Why the hell are you thinking about Freud right now? Ew.

And my deepest want is not Peter Parker staring at me. Literally stop.

“I remember seeing him on TV when I was a kid,” says Peter in the softest, smallest voice you have ever heard leaving him. It’s not quite a whisper, but it’s spoken like a secret. You open your eyes and see him looking at you, but his gaze is not present. He’s very, very far away. 

“Yeah?” you prompt sitting up straighter and pull out the earbud to show you’re listening. 

“Yeah,” he replies, zoned out, blinking rapidly when his eyes start drying out. “The reporter was being pushy. She was asking him about being gay.”

“Oh.” You scoot even closer to him, pressing your side into his, making him turn his head and come back to earth. 

“He replied with so much confidence. ‘Bout being bisexual. I didn’t know what he was talking about then. But years later it made me feel seen, understood,” you take his hand in yours, squeezing comfortingly. “Made me accept I like boys and girls the same way. Helped me.” he squeezes back, staring at his converse. He’s so deep in thought, small, unsure of himself. You want him to feel loved so badly. You didn’t want to overwhelm him, though.

“Thank you for telling me, Pete,” you rub his back and he sends you the sweetest smile. You smile back and feel a rush of emotions, this warmth, the need to be close to him. And it’s so hard to contain that it all spills out. “I love you,” you say, maybe recklessly, maybe without thinking. But you really do love him. You weren’t sure what kind of love it was, but it was love, nonetheless.

There goes your not-overwhelming him.

“I know,” his brown eyes hold so much care. What did he know? That you loved him as a friend? Or that you felt more? Did he know you can’t focus around him? That he sometimes appears in your dreams with his lips soft, sweet and warm against yours? 

He puts a strand of hair behind your ear. “I love you too.”

His gaze falls on your lips and back on your eyes quickly. If you only blinked, you’d missed it.

Then his stomach grumbles.

“Aw, man,” disappointment colors his voice and you don’t know what he means by that. He straightens out, changes his voice from quiet and intimate to louder and casual. You kinda hate it. Then you hate yourself for hating it and for being greedy. “Shall we eat, sweetheart?”

Sweetheart. You might cry or go crazy if you don’t figure out what he means. Is it sweetheart or sweetheart? 

You’re unpacking your sandwich when he nudges your arm. 

“Actually,” he laughs a bit awkwardly, “May made us some cookies.” He pulls out two paper bags and hands one to you. You freeze for a second, not understanding what was happening. “I hope you like them,” his voice is higher, he speaks quicker, a bit anxiously, “they’re not really sweet, y’know? ‘Cause May wants to cut down on sugar. So it’s only oats, nuts and, um, blueberries… I think? So… so if you don’t like them it’s obviously fine. It’s… cool.”

You take the bag from him, a bit stunned. That was probably the most adorable thing anyone has ever done for you. 

You take a bite of the cookie. It sure isn’t as sweet as brownies with sugar powder and vanilla ice cream on top, but it’s just sweet enough. A bit crunchy, a bit sour from the fruit, but oh so warm, because someone made them with you in mind. 

You swallow your bite and smile at Peter, all teeth. He relaxes when he sees you like it and then tenses again when he feels your lips pecking his cheek. And when you pull back, his face is all pretty and pink.

God, he’s beautiful. Sun in his eyes, hair, skin. You truly cannot comprehend it when he says no one was ever interested in him. The first time you saw him, all focused, brows furrowed, with his sleeves rolled up and hands working on something in the lab you were passing by, you got weak in the knees. Not that you would ever admit it.

“They’re delicious, Pete. Wonderful. Amazing. Incredible. So, so tasty. And just sweet enough,” now you’re rambling, but you just need to express your gratefulness and affection. “And I can’t even put into words how thankful I am for them. Thank you so, so much. And please thank May. Give her hugs and kisses from me,” you beam, munching the cookie, putting your head on his shoulder.

Peter is quiet for a second. He puts his head on top of yours, biting into his own cookie. After it’s gone, he turns his face into your hair. “Well, if I’m supposed to give them to her from you, you should give them to me first. Y’know, so I can pass them on.”

It takes you a while. A second, two seconds. Then you understand he means hugs and kisses and your heart beats so rapidly you think you might be having a cardiac arrest. Hell, maybe you are. Maybe it’s the sun?

But all doubt is gone when he kisses the crown of your head. He means it. He means it all. He means the cookies and the sunshine and sweetheart, not just sweetheart. And so you grin like an idiot, because you feel like one. You melt against him, then take your head off of his shoulder, then put your arms around him and hug him tightly.

“You’re smooth, Parker,” you whisper into his ear before pulling back and cupping his cheeks while looking into his loving gaze.

“C’mere and find out,” he murmurs and kisses you gently, enveloping you in his arms, his warmth, his sweetness. 

♡

this is my first time writing a fanfic, i’ll get better at it <3 thank you so much for reading, let me know if you see any mistakes!!

“Then what do you want to watch?”

“I don’t know. Actual cinema!” Max groans, straddling David and pulling at his t-shirt. He glares at his blue eyes. “What about The Joker?”

“Ugh.”

“Goodwill Hunting.”

“No.”

“Pulp Fiction. Come on. Shit is a classic!”

“Ew.”

“Daaaaaaavid,” Max whines.

“How about the Titanic?”

“It’s fucking depressing!” Max groans. “Anything but a romcom. Please.”

Bitch do you think titanic is a romcom? ITS A TRAGEDY that's real cinema!

Oh damn Max is a cinephile dude🙄🙄 I literally study television directing and production but I still hate cinephiles dudes JUST ENJOY THE SILLY FUCKING MOVIE

Do you know what I consider real cinema? A short film made by students that is about two argentinean heroes who are in love THAT IS REAL CINEMA

I personally think it's hilarious that a cinephile like Max ends up David who likes cheesy movies with trashy plots and just lots of mushy feelings.

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What Are Your Dream Supermythos Projects?

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* Have Yang and Reis continue their momentum with a The Life & Times Of The Son Of Superman miniseries. Someday somebody's gonna do 'here's Jon's whole journey in one book', they have the pedigree, and Yang's the best DC has in terms of who could nail the obvious central concept of Jon as a second-gen immigrant learning about his background, the forces he'll face in the world, and growing up to make different decisions from his dad about how to be a part of that world and how to help it.

* A proper Lois Lane ongoing, or at least her fronting a Daily Planet book.

* An anthology mini for Jon; I'm sure you could get plenty of creators interested in doing a few pages with their spin on Lois and Clark's kid across the assorted stages of his life.

* Okay so I just now started reading On A Sunbeam and yeah let Tillie Walden do literally whatever she wants with Superman if that would happen to be something she would care to do.

* An ongoing anthology for the Superman family ala Batman: Urban Legends.

* A Lois and Clark romance book from McKenna Jean Harris.

* Superman and Superboy meet All-Might and Midoriya.

* If Morrison is in fact consulting on the Superman books beyond doing the bare minimum to line up Authority, given PKJ is using the House of El already a big Superman Squad story based on the abandoned All-Star spinoff, since the ideas for the other two became Morrison's Action Comics and The Just.

* Once the current runs are done, give Action to Brandon Thomas and Son of Kal-El to Dan Watters.

* Sarah Leuver did some DC work so hey, give her a book to play with.

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* I wouldn't have thought of Dan Schkade when thinking naturals for Superman, but after David Lynch's Superboy give him something stat.

* Someone somewhere do something interesting for once ever with Conner Kent.

* Give Maggin a Black Label book to do whatever he wants with.

* We're talking pure dream books, let Marguerite Bennett do a full Superman of Remnant spinoff mini or oneshot from RWBY/Justice League.

* An all-ages ongoing, good lord how long has it been

* Absolute Action Comics, with the assorted artists coming back to redraw the armor as the real suit.

* T-shirt Superman is out there wandering the multiverse, do a mini or oneshot or something with that guy.

* Mandatory 'whatever Doc Shaner, Al Ewing, Dan Mora, Jamal Campbell, Bilquis Evely, Christian Ward, Garth Ennis, Mike Huddleston, Tula Lotay, Chris Samnee, Jonathan Hickman, Fiona Staples, or Juan Ferrara would want to do with him'.

* In terms of pals nowhere near the big two I'd love to see get their shot anyway, Deniz Camp and Charlotte Finn.

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* A big animated movie to go with Spider-Verse and Lego Batman. Maybe an anthology thing.

* Superman & Lois but moved to HBO Max and with Todd Helbing removed as showrunner. Really any prestigey ongoing Superman show, but I'd trade the prestige for keeping Hoechlin and Tulloch.

* An Adult Swim Jon Kent series aimed at older teens.

* Do the Tartakovsky short.

* More Superman novels! It's Superman! shouldn't have been a one-off in swinging for the fences there.

* Someone dig up/restore The Multipath Adventures of Superman.

Redamancy - Chapter Two

a little bit of a fluff piece to get to the Juicy stuff in chapter three, so apologies in advance :-) hope you all enjoy all the same!

chapter one

chapter three

WORD COUNT: 3267

WARNINGS: michael being a sad boy, david is (as usual) a bit of an asshole, reader comes up with a Plan, cursing, really nothing else

Drifting off to sleep was easy, it was staying asleep that was hard. You were plagued by dreams of David. Some were nice, most weren’t. Each time you would wake up startled, your eyes popping open, your skin crawling, and each time Michaels snores would lull you back to sleep.

Sunlight slipped into the room in between the curtains, waking you up with a groan. You sit up slightly, looking around the room in confusion. A particularly loud snore from Michael brings back the events of last night and you groan, flopping back down in the bed. You were uncomfortable, still in your failed ‘make-David-jealous’ outfit. 

You get out of bed, stretching your back. Glancing at the clock, you let out a low whistle. It was nearly 2 pm. You were used to sleeping later in the day due to your friend's twisted circadian rhythm, but you didn’t think you’d sleep as long as you had since you turned in early. You sneak through Michael's room, not wanting to wake him up just yet, holding your breath until you get into the hallway and close his door.

“Ew, why are you sneaking out of his room,” Sam asks and you jump, spinning around to see him. He was still in his pajamas, clearly taking advantage of the fact he no longer had school, and his eyes were narrowed and his arms crossed against his cheek. He looks you up and down and his face contorts in disgust. “Oh god, you did not!”

“Shut up, Sam! I didn't, you freak, I stayed over because he got a little too drunk last night and I wanted to make sure he didn’t choke on his own vomit.” You elbow him in his side, heading downstairs and he follows behind you closely. Their grandpa was sitting in the kitchen, reading the paper, and he gives you two a wave as you walk in. “Do you guys have Advil? I was gonna bring a glass of water and some medicine up to Michael before I woke him up.”

Sam walks to a cabinet above the sink and opens it, pulling out a bottle and tossing it to you. “Why did he even drink? How’d he even drink? He still has a year before he can legally drink,” He questions and you snort. Oh, to be young again. “Don’t laugh!”

“The bar on the boardwalk doesn’t card and Michael looks old.” You reply as you fill up a glass with water from the sink and he shrugs, accepting it, and sits at the table with his grandpa. You make your way back upstairs and knock lightly on Michaels door. You don’t get a response. Stepping inside, you kick the door closed with your foot and place the water and the medicine on his side table. “Mike, get up.”

He mumbles, wrapping himself in his blanket more, completely ignoring you. You sigh and push at his arm which makes him groan. “Don’t wanna, m’head hurts.”

“That’s why I brought you medicine, sunshine. Take it and get dressed, I’ll take you to get some greasy food,” He opens one of his eyes and looks at you, clearly annoyed and you grin. “It’ll help, I swear. C’mon, it’s almost 3pm.”

He sighs, making a big show of sitting up and rubbing at his head. You roll your eyes and wait as he gulps down the water, leaving just enough in the cup for him to take two of the pills. He stands, motioning for you to get out of the way as he goes to his dresser. “Where are we gonna go? I really just want to throw on a t-shirt and my slides, not get all dolled up.”

Snorting, you sit down on his bed. “Just this diner I like. Greasy food that tastes like heaven. You could go in butt-naked and they’d still feed you.” He laughs, grabbing a tank top and throwing it. You stand, following him out the door, slipping your shoes on and making sure you have your keys and wallet. 

“Sam, we’re getting food, do you wanna come?” Michael asks, slipping on his sunglasses. You chuckle as Sam yells for you two to wait as he gets dressed. 

“You gonna be okay if we talk about… y’know?”

“About Star? Yeah, I guess.” He clears his throat, looking anywhere but you. You sigh. It was something you and he were going to have to talk about but that didn’t make it any easier. Sam flies down the steps, fully dressed up, and he runs out the door without waiting for the two of you to follow. 

When you and Michael reach the car, Sam is in the passenger seat and he looks at Michael and starts to beg. “Please let me sit up front! You can sit here on the way back, I’m already sitting!” Michael scoffs and gets in the back. Sam cheers, turning the radio on and changing the station as soon as you turn the car on. “Thank you Mikey! Hell yeah!”

“Watch it!” Michael says, kicking the back of the seat. Sam ignores him, rolling the window down and singing along as you make your way down the driveway. You look at Michael through the rearview mirror and grin; he was staring out the window with a smile growing on his face.

You pull into the diner, which was thankfully not too packed, and Sam jumps out. “I’m starving!”

“Go get us a seat.” You tell him, waiting for Michael to get out of the car. “You sure you’re alright if we talk about Star? I know you may not want to since Sam’s with us.” He shakes his head, closing the car door and walking beside you. 

“I’m sure. Gonna have to talk about it eventually and there are worse times than when I’m stuffing my face,” You snort, reaching the door and he holds it open for you. You wave at Amanda, the waitress you always have, and go to sit with Sam. He was in a corner booth staring out the window. 

You slide in opposite of him and Michael goes to sit next to Sam when he shoves him. “No! I’m sitting here alone, go sit next to your little girlfriend,” You feel your cheeks get hot and flip Sam off as Amanda comes over. “Hi there, Y/N! Who are these two handsome young men?” She asks, her eyes flicking between Sam and Michael. 

“I’m Sam. It’s so nice to meet you,” Sam grins, sticking his hand out to her. She laughs, taking it and giving him a shake. “That’s Michael, my older, less attractive, more annoying brother.” Michael kicks at him from under the table and both you and Amanda laugh as they start to bicker.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you two. What can I getcha started with?” The three of you order your drinks and you tell her to get you and Michael the greasiest breakfast sandwiches the chef could make while Sam ordered pancakes and bacon. Same watches as she leaves and turns back to you, grinning. “You think she likes me?”

You roll your eyes. “Sam, I hate to break it to ya, but she’s married. And she has a kid about your age.” His smile falls and he groans, upset at the loss of a potential relationship. You elbow Michael slightly, ripping him from his thoughts. “You doin’ alright?” He nods. Not very convincing.

Amanda brings the food over and, as he digs into his pancakes, Sam asks “How do David and Star feel about you two spending the night together.” Your eyes instantly snap to Michael and you notice that he’s stopped mid chew. Sam’s eyebrows furrow together as Michael stands, excusing himself, and walks off to the bathroom.

“Uhm, Star and David kind of broke up with us both… and are now together,”

“That’s so effed up.” Sam mutters, pushing his food around with his fork. You hum in agreement; that was the understatement of the century. He looks back towards the restroom, a frown on his face. “Do you think he’s mad at me?”

You shake your head, reaching your hand out to grab his. “No, ‘course not. You didn’t know. It’s still a sore subject for him, y’know?” Sam nods, giving you a thankful smile. You pull your hand back just as the bathroom door opens and you see Michael coming back towards you, his sunglasses on the top of his head. 

Michael slides in next to you and you can see how splotchy his cheeks were. He had been crying. Sam and you say nothing, waiting for Michael to start the conversation. “I’m not going to the boardwalk tonight.”

“What? You have to! They’re having that concert tonight and you were supposed to bring me!” Sam argues and you nod, placing a hand on Michaels underneath the table. He looks at you, eyebrows furrowed. “I think you should go. Not going so you don’t have to see them is just going to make it hurt more when you do.”

He sighs, head tilting back until it rests on the booth, and he nods. “Fine, whatever.” Sam cheers, scarfing down the rest of his food. Michael and you finish up and you pay, walking out behind Michael. “Hey, thanks for bringing me here. The greasy food did kind of help.”

You grin. “Told ya. You might wanna get to the car though; Sam looks like he’s gunning for the front seat again.” He laughs, jogging off towards your car, Sam and him arguing up until you reach it. Sam finally huffs and gets in the back, cursing at Michael under his breath.

On the way back to the house, Michael sings along to the radio with Sam, holding out his hand as a fake microphone for you to sing as well. You get to their house, parking just as Sam hops out and runs inside, poking his head out of the front door to yell a ‘thank you.’

“Alright. I gotta get back to the cave but I’ll stop by here at 8, alright?” He nods and you grab his hand again, stopping him from getting out of the car. “This is the best thing to do, Michael. It’s gonna suck, but it’s better to get it over sooner rather than later.”

“Thank you, Y/N. Really.” He squeezes your hand, hopping out of the car and waving at you before closing the door behind him. You wait until he gets inside the house before leaving, turning the radio off, sending you into silence. You had to go to the god damn cave.

You drive on autopilot, tuning back in when you pull in besides the boys bikes. Turning the car off, you take a deep breath, preparing yourself. 

The cave was silent. It was just about 4:30, only three hours before the boys could wake up and not get burned alive. You dodge the scattered clothing and beer bottles on the floor on your way to your bedroom, pausing outside Star’s room. Each of you, including the boys, had their own curtained off ‘room’ with a bed and their personal belongings, but Star and you were the only ones who really seemed to sleep there.

You’re not sure why you did it; maybe it was just morbid curiosity, or maybe you really thought you wouldn’t see him with her, but you peeked inside her curtains. Your eyes reach her bed and you take a sudden intake of breath; David was behind her, his head in her neck, his arms wrapped around her body. They were asleep just like you and he had done hundreds of times before. You swallow down the bile forcing its way up your throat and go inside your room, closing the curtain tightly behind you.

You have no idea what to do from here. Of course they would have slept together; you saw them on the boardwalk! It’s obvious they were going to be together, so why the fuck did it hurt so much to see? All you can think about is how glad you were that Michael hadn’t seen that. He was taking it harder than you were and now, with how heavy your heart was, you were starting to regret telling him he had to see them tonight. 

No. Fuck that. There was no way in hell you were going to spend your time moping around in your room, trying to avoid the two of them together all because it ‘hurt.’ David didn’t give you so much as a warning to what he was going to do and honestly, with how he is, he was probably counting on your sadness. 

Now you need to suck it up and move on, and show him that you’re moving on. Show him the relationship meant just as little, maybe even less, than he thought of it. You started brainstorming ideas on what you should do when it popped into your head. Yes it was petty, and maybe even wrong, but it was a damn good idea. 

You spend the next three and a half hours planning out the meticulous details (and the things you’d have to say to convince Michael to agree.)  Around 7:30 you begin to hear the sounds of the boys waking up. Marko was first, as usual, and you decide to go out and sit with him while he waits for everyone. This was officially ‘Phase 1’ of the plan.

“Hey babe! Where’ve you been?” He asks, holding his hand up for a high five as you pass by him. Honestly, you’re surprised he even noticed that you hadn’t been here - he tends to have his head in the clouds. 

Shrugging, you lay down on the couch you had forced them to buy, putting your hands behind your head. You could hear David and Star moving around as well as Dwayne yelling at Paul about something. “Hung out at Michaels and ended up falling asleep there. Got lunch with him and Sam and came back here.”

“Oooh, you slept with Michael?” He says, wiggling his eyebrows at you. You roll your eyes, laughing. 

“No, I slept at his house.” He pulls a ‘sure, whatever you say’ face, turning behind him as Dwayne and Paul come out. They were both dressed to the nines, per usual. “Hey guys.”

Before either of them can respond, David and Star emerge. Star gives you a small smile, obviously worried about your reaction, and you give her a wide smile and wave. “Hey Star! You going to the concert tonight? I can’t remember the dude's name but it’s the guy that plays the sax shirtless.”

“Oh, I love him! I had no idea he was performing here so soon. Thanks!” She says and the tension in the air immediately dissipates. You and David still weren’t talking but you weren’t actively shooting daggers at him which was a step up from last week. “You coming to the boardwalk tonight?”

You nod. “Yeah, I’m picking Michael up, actually.” 

“You spent the night with him and now you’re picking him up for the boardwalk? Are you trying to get in his pants?” Marko teases and you throw the pillow you had been resting your head on at him. He laughs, jumping up and running to stand behind Dwayne. “Y/N slept over at Michaels last night and didn’t get here until this afternoon.”

Paul and Laddie, who had finally gotten up, give you a childish round of ‘oooh’s which result in a middle finger from you. “You slept with Michael?” David asks and Paul immediately stops. David sounded… mad, which, considering what he’s done, is pretty ironic.

“No, I slept at his house. I feel like I’ve said that ten times now. He was drunk and I didn’t want him to, you know, vomit while he was asleep.” He gives you a curt nod, grabbing Star’s hand and pulling her into him. He kisses her hard and you could have sworn you saw him stare at you just as their lips connected. “Anyways, I gotta get going, I have to get there by 8. I’ll try and meet up with you guys later tonight.”

You give Laddie a hug before you leave, waving to the rest of them. The sun was almost completely gone now and you could see the lights of the boardwalk from here. The closer you got to Michaels house, the more nervous you got. What if he didn’t agree to your plan? Or, worse, decides to tell the others your plan? 

So many things could go wrong and you were banking on the very slim chance that he’ll agree. When you get to the end of his driveway you see him sitting on the porch, a cigarette in his mouth unlit. You beep, scaring him, and roll your window down. “Get that shit out of your mouth.”

“Jesus, you coulda told me that without the heart attack.” He says, putting the loose cigarette into his pocket. He was dressed in a tight black t-shirt, his jacket, jeans that fit him quite well and his normal damn boots. When he gets in the car you see he’s wearing an earring Star had given him, which reminds you that you’re still wearing the necklace David gave you. You two were still a mess.

“So, how’re you feeling?” You ask, turning around and driving down the driveway. He shrugs, rolling the window down to lay his arm across it. 

“Alright, I guess. You?” You tilt your head in a so-so motion and he nods. You take a deep breath, knowing you need to just ask him if he wants to do the plan before you get to the boardwalk. “So, I have something I wanted to ask you and it’s a little… unorthodox. I need you to promise you’ll listen and give it a chance before shooting it down.”

His eyebrows furrow together and he nods slowly. “Uhm, sure? You’re kind of freaking me out.”

“I just don’t want you making a big deal out of it.”

“You’re the one making a big deal of it! Just tell me before I get too scared to listen to you,” He teases and you give him one last look before asking.

“Do you want to fake date me to make David and Star jealous?”

“Uhm, what?” He asks, turning to face you, his eyebrows furrowed. Okay, not off to a great start. “What the hell do you mean ‘fake date you’? What’s that even mean?”

You sigh, running a hand through your hair. You were getting closer and closer to the boardwalk. You had to convince him quick. “Basically, we would just pretend to start dating. When I was at the cave, Marko told the guys that I had been over your house and slept there and David got mad. Like, genuinely mad. So, I figured if we kind of played that up, we could get them to… I don’t know, break up and come back to us? Or something.”

He says nothing and for a few agonizing seconds you really start to regret bringing it up. Of course he wouldn’t agree to it. This is Michael we’re talking about; Mr. Perfect, and there was no way in hell Mr. Perfect would do something as low and as scummy as that.

“We can try, I guess,” Your head snaps towards him, eyes wide. Huh. So, apparently there was a way in hell he’d do something as low and as scummy as that.

Do you think Dan ever regrets that the David/Patrick relationship became such a focal point of the show? Sometimes I wonder if he resented the relationship and that’s why he wrote in the Wingman episode or had David basically cheat on their wedding day. Seems like he wanted to undermine the relationship.

i’ve already talked plenty about what i think of “the wingman” and “happy ending” and what i think they’re intended to say about david and patrick’s relationship, so i’m not gonna get into all of that all over again.

but beyond my own interpretations, i’m also just going to take dan at his word...

I felt like we had always depicted, David in particular, but David and Patrick's relationship as being incredibly honest and open, and the fact that they would have this conversation [about going to Jake’s], the fact that they would entertain something like this and then both agree to it, felt very respectful of who they were as a couple. And obviously it didn't happen. They walked into a much larger party than they were expecting. But I felt like it was representative of relationships that friends of mine have had, and I also just felt like David has always been incredibly kind of sexually empowered and open, and I didn't want him to necessarily lose some of that fun by settling down with Patrick. It was an exploration of relationships and conversations that I think a lot of couples have. So I stand behind it. I don't think it was disrespectful to their relationship at all; in fact I think it strengthened it. And I think at the end of the day it's more an examination of why people got so upset. Is the concept of having fluidity in a sexual sense in a relationship scary to people? What was it provoking? That was the bigger conversation that I was sort of having with myself.

- Dan on EW’s Binge

and also

This is a couple that has been so open and honest, and has not put sexuality and their sex lives in this box that they can't touch. It's always been around, and it hasn't necessarily defined who they are as people. And that was something that I thought was really fun to explore. The fact that this happens to David, and that it's not a make-or-break for their relationship because that's not what their relationship is founded on. It's founded on something much deeper, much more substantial, much more respectful. And ultimately, David just thought that Patrick had wanted him to relax, so he accepted. And you did give him an envelope of cash and said, "Treat him well." [...] and this was sort of important for me, that their sex life not be something that is always what's defining loyalty in their lives. And the fact that they entertained going to Jake's, and you wore a tight T-shirt, and David put his body lotion on and they went out for a night on the town, with no real expectation beyond, let's just see what this is all about. And I think that's such a wonderful thing for this couple, that they're so stable and so steady, that these kinds of things, like sex, which can be so sort of intense for people and can be such a sign of — is such a make-or-break, in terms of putting loyalty onto it. But that their relationship to it, which is fine for other people, but in their situation, sex is sex, presumably it's all going well, and whatever happens, happens. And it was clearly a miscommunication.

- Dan via EW

Thoughts on everyone in the realms?

"Short Answer; I made a chart. Not a well drawn chart, mind you, but a chart. Sometimes you don't wanna put effort into drawing 50 something faces"

"Long answer, uh....well lemme go down the list"

Claudette: My Starflower~!! She's so sweet and kind and amazing in trials and every time I see her I swoon a little- I love her so much~ Dwight: He's cute- And he's a good leader, despite his nervous personality, he knows how to bring a group together. Final guy potential. Ash: ....Don't...Tell him I said this? But uh....Evil Dead was one of my biggest comfort series, the thing that got me through losing both my parents....the thing that helped me transition, pick my name, and fueled my FX hobby. And I'm still attached, even realizing he's a real person and all- But...it's weird to just, be upfront with something like that, so I'm just...burying it as best as I can. David: He's a little rough around the edges but he’s good to have in a trial, plus when you can get past the walls, he’s nice to talk to. Kate: Her music by the campfire is calming and she’s such a sweetheart. If we were in a better situation I’d love to learn Guitar from her, but, it’s hard when you’re a moment away from a trial at any given time. Amalthea (@askthewidowstars OC): She judged my entire vibe but jokes on her I’m the one who snagged a cutie for life- Meg: If I had a dollar for every time she left me for dead I would have enough money to paint the entire campfire in solid gold. The only time we’ve ever properly talked was about SAW traps and 90% of it was her admitting she could beat every single trap because she was ‘built different’  Jeff: He’s a sweetheart and really nice to be around. Sometimes when we’re by the campfire in our downtimes I’ll let him draw on my arm. it kinda makes me want a tattoo, honestly. If we ever get out of here, I might get one. Steve: Bros!! We kinda make up team ‘Altruistic Himbo’, Plus the ‘Babysitter/Brother’ Vibes mesh really well. I kinda wanna re-style his hair though, mostly because it looks fluffy, and nice to play with.  Quentin: Bros!! We’re gonna make matching T-Shirts about committing Arson on Freddy in particular. He’s fun to hang around in our downtime, and I hope there’s a chance he can get some actual rest, even in here. He deserves it. Adam: If Dwight wasn’t the leader I feel like he’d take over the Reigns. I feel like he’s the calm type that doesn’t handle energetic types well though. Which, y’know, makes things hard.  Nea: Anytime I see her she’s either sneaking around the map and watching everyone get killed, or doing something stupid to get herself killed. I’d get grey hair if We were actually friends.  Feng: Gamer bros- I got to find out we actually played a lotta the same stuff before we were taken by the Entity. We get a chance to nerd out in between trials- Laurie: Best Final Girl hands down. I kinda hope she can teach me Decisive Strike one day- I feel like its also just a little awkward since again, still a fan of Myers Nancy: She doesn’t agree that Demo’s a good boy, which makes sense, but we but heads over it. Also I’m pretty sure she wants me dead for touching the bones around the map one too many times. They’re just too tempting.... Jake: He’s pretty quiet, but he’s helpful in trials. I heard he’s been to a convention a few times, but I don’t think he’s actually into it as much as I thought...Which kinda sucks. I’d love more cosplay buddies y’know? Yui: Kinda makes me want a motorbike. We don’t talk but she seems really cool. A little too cool to me around if that makes sense.  Yun-Jin: She benefits off of throwing everyone else under the bus. And 90% of the time she will throw everyone under the bus. Even if she needs actual help to escape the trial.  Cheryl: Cheryylll!!  She’s really cool and honestly would add her to the ‘Can kill god if she was not nerfed’ Squad. Especially since y’know, she has- I bet if we got enough of the kids together we could just beat the Entity’s ass. I know she could.  Tapp: Always been a fan of Tapp before I was taken, although I feel like he’d wanna arrest me if we weren’t in the Entity’s Realm. I might be a little too excited for my own good about Kramer’s work. I don’t think he’d believe the fact its a movie either.  Ace: He’s kinda like the Uncle of the group around the campfire, but, coming into trials, He’s still for saving his own skin- You can also only stand dad jokes for so long. Especially in an eternity like this.  Leon: He’s cool!!! I got so excited first realizing He and Jill were here, and I wanna get a chance to talk to him about everything that went down, but Haven’t got the chance. He’s nice inside of Trials though, usually doesn’t leave anyone behind. Not a fan of getting blinded though.  Jill: She knows how to lead the trials well, and I look up to her a lot. She’s always been such a badass!!  Bill: If Bill gets his hands on a weapon the entire Realm would be fucked. Badass as hell and Kinda scary. Another one on the list of ‘Entity needed to Nerf’ Felix: You’d think a Childless Father and a Fatherless son would be able to bond a bit more, but, I think we each kinda get the same vibe of homesickness from one another. He’s kind though, and it’s neat to see his work whenever we’re by the campfire.  Elodie: She’s better at helping out than most of the others, but she’s still in a survival of the fittest mindset. I loved hearing about her studies from before she was taken though. I feel like if we had more time we could dig deeper into this whole world and what its about. But we don’t get that- Zarina: We just don’t really click as much, honestly. I’d love to get to know her better but I think she’s more into digging into the killers and what she can find out about this place. Which y’know, could be better done with a team. Sage (@askthewidowstars OC): HUSBAND!!! My husband. I love him to the Moon and back. He’s amazing and I miss him even when we’re five feet apart-  ...I need a hug now-  Amanda: Best girl hands down!! We vibed a lot in between Trials talking about her traps and old designs, she was impressed by my knowledge, and we hang out in Gideon sometimes!   Ghostface: He’s pretty cute- Also fun to be around, even if he’s kind of a dick when he’s actually at work, it’s better when you’re outside of a Trial. It’s also neat to see he’s not just two idiots in a halloween costume and his own person, as much as I love the Scream Series, too-  Leatherface: Bubba!!! Honestly I’d handle being chainsawed. Fuckin Love Bubba-  Huntress: I wanna learn how to throw hatchets but I know I never will. She’s kinda scary, but also I feel like if she could adopt some of the others in the Realms, she totally would.  Oni: The only times I’ve ever really seen him is just before my skull gets bashed in. All I really have associated to him is the splitting headache.  Twins: I’m gonna punt Victor into the sun. I haven’t been good around kids beforehand and this tiny gremlin motherfucker just makes it worse.  Pinhead: I was so excited to see him!! He’s one of the few that talks more often than not in a trial, and he’s always had this air of elegance about him which makes it so much cooler! I’d be tempted to grab the box to solve it, but, at the same time Dwight’s already been hunted. I just...want to see how it works, really. Maybe if I ask nicely? Nah, probably not.  Pyramid Head: He’s so fucking COOL!!! He’s always just been really fucking cool and I still get stars in my eyes. I wanna re-create his weapon one day.  Joey: Joey’s one of the chill killers to be around, probably my favorite amongst the legion. Also Cosplay gang?? Hello? Susie: She’s cute!! I like her vibes whenever there’s not violence involved. I wonder if she’d ever get into costume making, she has the artistic eye for it. I also wonder if she’d ever dye other people’s hair...I’d kinda want green tips one day- Frank: Still wanna throw a palette at him. He’s one of the more serious of the Legion, and usually the one you’d find with a Mori. Not as Serious as Julie but only because he has the cocky god complex to go with it.  Julie:  She’s definitely the most serious out of the Legion. There’s no real rest whenever we’re in a trial against her. Scary as hell and less of a bastard than the other three.  Hillbilly: I know he deserved a lot better than this, especially after hearing more about him. I...Haven’t gotten to see much than the end of his chainsaw though.  Blight: This dude’s singlehandedly bringing back my fear of needles and I thought I lost that with HRT- Also like, dude spits up orange fuckin everywhere.  Michael: My Mans!! I always get a little excited knowing we’re up against him. It’s habit- It’s kinda weird to see him easily affected by like, palettes or flashlights though.  Spirit: She seems like she could be nice when there’s some downtime. I’m also one of the few that can understand her well enough, which probably makes things easier. I found out she’s basically my age when I survived a trial by myself. I’d hope to hang out more sometime. Nemesis: God he’s so fucking tall. Kinda surprised it was Nemesis out of everyone that could’ve been brought, and also, kinda terrified? Still am kinda terrified. I’m surprised he hasn’t just torn up an entire map yet. His zombie minions are also annoying. Wraith: All this motherfucker does is roll up to pull me off Gens and Exist as a problem. I don’t see much of him outside of a Trial. Trapper: Motherfucker Incarnate. If the Entity lets us throw hands I’m fighting him first.  Freddy: ....Gross. I liked the Nightmare on Elm Street series a lot, but...Freddy as a person? Ew. Especially this iteration.  Demogorgon: Demopuppy!! He’s a good boy and he deserves to get treats. Even if the Treats are flesh....I wonder if he likes candy though. Trickster: Pretty!! He also Gives me DIO vibes because of the Jacket and the Knife throwing...Imagine if a killer could stop time...that’d be terrifying. Deathslinger: I wanna sit down and look at his gun more but I also feel like if I ask I’d just get shot on sight. Intimidating as hell but also cool. Mary: ....Still on the very complicated ‘Ex Girlfriend that murdered me’ State. It’s hard to avoid her though. Especially since she wants to get back together since we’re stuck here. Nurse: She does not help my fear of Hospitals, honestly. While she’s easy to go up against, it’s still eugh. Plague: I really, really hate her power. The Sickness and the Vomit is just- Eughhhhh- It just hits every bad sensory issue at once.  Clown: ...I get killers are Killers and aren’t supposed to be good people but also like....Disgusting. Please Remove from the Realm. He’s just- ...Ew.  Doctor: NOPE. NO. NEVER. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

Of the Devil’s head

Chapter eleven - Hell’s fire couldn’t beat this

Sander’s sides fanfiction

Wordcount: 2851

Ship: prinxiety  (*cracks nuckles* This is going to be fun BJ)

TW: cursing, a bunch of flirting, friendly banter, naked torsos, a lot of flustering and a very shitty-ly described kissing scene. If I’ve missed any, let me know. <3

Summary of the whole story: They say, the one that wears the crown rules all - the living, the dead, the walking, the crawling, the rooted, the sane and the mad. They say, once you own the crown, you become the  most powerful being on Earth and beyond. Roman’s stolen bigger things - a measly little crown won’t present a problem, even if he has to steel it straight off of the devils head!

---------------------------------

Chapter eleven - Hell’s fire couldn’t beat this

“You know, for being the Devil, you aren’t such a though guy.” Roman grinned, holding Virgil a little tighter to himself subconsciously. He knew that was a lie, but couldn’t help but tease.  

The demon just chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Oh please. Have you seen my fangs?”

Ro smirked. “Yeah. Sharp and pointy. But don’t make you scary.” that was a lie as well. But it did bring him over to his next point. He’s green eyes got darker, eyelids lowering. “They make you look rather hot.”

A shower run up Virgil’s back at the purr. Yap. Nope. This was not happening. He immediately pushed up, away from the Human and darted out of bed. “I’m gonna go take a shower.” he stammered out.

Roman blinked at the red-faced Devil running around franticly, pulling out drawers left and right. He blinked again, as V pulled out a bunch of different pieces of clothes. He watched as he turned towards him, fabric flying through the air, and he couldn’t watch anymore. His sight was obscured by endless darkness - Virgil managed to hit him square in the face with a shirt. (He had a really good aim when stressed or embarrassed.)

“You need a change too. You can wait until I leave if you wanna shower - I’m not sure what Humans do… Is it like cats? Like, do you lick yourself clean? Because, ew, disgusting. But anyways…” that whole thing was rushed out in one nervous breath, deep voice pitched a lot higher. Cheeks a deeper red then before.  “Shower.” he quipped and slammed the door behind him.

And that’s when Roman just… started laughing. “What? The devil can’t handle a little flirting?”

The demon, redder than Hell’s fire at this point, let his forehead fall against dark wood. Oh, almighty Hades, why did this thief have such power over him? This was unhealthy.

Roman was still laughing his ass off. Lucky he hasn’t fallen off the bed yet, from how he was trashing around. Yeah, he was a complete goner. But at least now he knew how to get the devil flustered! Oh damn it, the demon was cute when red!  

And obviously, Virgil could hear it even through the sick lock door. He sighed and threw his close on the closed toilet. “A shower? Really?”

This was getting harder by the shortest passage of time.

What was the point anyways? He didn’t even need to shower! He could just snap his fingers and be done with it! The bathroom was built only because the running water seemed to calm the king down when he was in the midst of a panic attack. Yet he couldn’t think of a better excuse then a dumb shower! He was the Devil for dark’s sake!

“Hades, let’s just get this over with.” he rolled his eyes, and for once, actually got into that shower.

Meanwhile, Roman was still trashing around on the bed, laughing like crazy. It physically hurt at this point.

-

It wasn’t a long shower, but it seemed like forever to both creatures. One laying on bed, still kind of getting over post-laugh giggles and the other wrapping a towel around himself and leaning on the sink. Dark hair dripping purple from the die (he’ll have to touch it up later) and body still glistening from droplets.

Virgil wasn’t really sure what he was going to do now.

there was a man in his bedroom. One he literally slept on top of. A very, very gorgeous man! Infront of who he just completely humiliated himself. How will he now show his face?

The devil glanced into the mirror and bit his lip. Maybe not literally naked - he should really get dressed first. And then worry about facing the liveling.

He grabbed the clothes he threw aside, pulled all the pieces on. Just to find that in his hurry, he threw his own shirt at Roman.

“Shit… This is just great.” he sighed. All his former clothes were long gone, down the laundry drop.

Now. He could just snap his fingers to make a new one appears, or…

The glint was back in all six of the king’s eyes. He grinned to himself, fangs showing. “You mess with me…” he hummed, leaning closer to the mirror fixing his damp hair over his eye. “…I mess with you.”

Roman was on the bed still, trying to get his mind to stop coming back to how cute the demon was with red cheeks when the door creaked open.

He sat up immediately, about to say something snarky to tease the poor Devil, but he didn’t get to that. Mind completely short-circuiting, heart in his throat and words nowhere to find he eyed to exposed torso of the pail demon walking around in front of him. Did this man really not know what effect would this have on Roman?!

Oh, Virgil knew, believe me. He knew very well. Walking out like nothing, half naked with a towel around his neck, hair still wet and droplets of water still glistening on his skin here and there. He didn’t bother to look at the thief. Those holes that were being burned into his torso were enough to go by. And also, the fact he acted oblivious would make Roman even more flustered. That was a bonus.

Don’t get him wrong, it wasn’t like he was so proud of his body. But when you have time on your hands, why not work out, Eliminate at least one of the many insecurities. So yeah, he had a sixpack. Big deal.

Big deal indeed! Roman was dying on that bed! Mouth hanging half open, fully entranced by the beautiful chiseled entity in front of him. And then there was a shirt - again. Muscles moved as the delicious stomach got covered completely, only arms exposed.

The thief shook his head. “Why would you do that?!” he hated how clipped his voice sounded.

Virgil finally looked up at him, fully grinning on the inside. On the outside though, he just bit his lip and blinked innocently. “What?”

“T-that!” Roman moved his hands around rigidly, gesturing at Virgil whole.

“Oh that. I forgot my shirt.”

“Uhm. Yeah, yeah. You just so happen to forget your shirt. And then walk out looking like Michelangelo’s David!”

And that was all Virgil needed. His inner grin reached the poutside, wider and more menacing than ever. He latched onto those words like a lifeline. “Oh, liveling, you think I’m as hot as David?”

Roman’s cheeks grew even redder. “For you, information - I was talking about how pail you look. Not how hot he is.”

“Oh, so you have a thing for statues. Good to know.”

“No! Zeus! You were the one to bring it up!”

“I knew the guy personally; I can say he’s hot. You on the other hand, thiefy, you didn’t. What’s your excuse?”

“Wait, you knew David? How old are you?”

Virgil stopped to think for a second. Well… he didn’t really have an answer to that. “I’m not really sure.”

“Old enough to know him apparently! Man, you’re old!”

“And you apparently have a thing for old folks and stone-carvings.”

Cue offended thief noises. Virgil just snorted, walking towards the Human. “You didn’t deny it. So you admit you have a thing for me?”

“What?! No! You’re too old for me.”

“And you apparently can’t say anything other than old.“

“I’ll let you know! I can do and say a lot of things!”

“But escaping Hell isn’t one of them.”

“Low blow man!” Roman gasped dramatically, hand flying to his chest.

“I’m just saying… I could show you all the good hiding places.” Virgil grinned to himself, fangs showing again. This was way too much fun. The frustrated look the thief wore was priceless. He propped his hands on the mattress, leaning slightly towards Ro. “That way you might actually have a chance to succeed.”

“Hey!” Roman grabbed the first thing he could find and threw it at the crownless king. Hit him perfectly square in the face.

And then Ro remembered that this was still the Devil, he just threw a pillow at.

Oh no…

Virgil blinked. What just happened? He looked down at the pillow that plopped down guiltily between his hands and then back up at the reddening creature. “Did you just… throw a pillow at me?” he frowned in confusion.

The sitting one gulped. “Mayyyyybeee….?” he smiled nervously.

Virgil blinked again with eyes bigger than saucers. He looked back at the pillow.

And he burst out laughing. The low rumbled of baritone climbing under Romans skin like a parasite.

The Human didn’t know what to do! He couldn’t help but watch the creature. Fangs glistening in the dim light, cheeks hiding his already sunken in eyes. He was so adorable.

Virgil looked up just in time to catch Roman averting his eyes. His cheeks were getting pinker than before (which was saying something). And the king couldn’t help but smirk. “Are you blushing, Roman?”

Gods, hearing his name from the devil’s mouth! “What?! No! You must be hallucinating!” Roman turned his face away completely, cheeks getting dark red at this point.

Virgil bit his lip to keep him from grinning (it didn’t help). This was just too funny - watching this helpless human squirm.

“I’m pretty sure you were blushing.” he leaned even closer to Roman, watching him coolly.

“No, I wasn’t!” Ro peeped up, cringing at the sound of his own high-pitched voice.

By now Virgil was a mere breath away from the boiling thief. He bit his lip again, grin loose. Eyes sparkling with a mysterious glit. “Then why are your cheeks red?” he whispered, running his knuckles along Roman’s cheek.

The liveling was speechless. He was pretty sure he swallowed his tongue. “I-I did not notice.”

Virgil’s grin darkened. He could just kiss him right now. Lean in and kiss him right here. No one would know.

He had no idea where this newfound confidence was coming from. Maybe the ages of being alone. Maybe the feeling of this rush. Maybe even the fact that Roman was coming undone under his touch the same way Virgil felt himself fall apart under his.

And maybe it was the whole situation they were in

He didn’t realize he was staring at Romans lips. But Ro did notice. Every time he glanced up from V’s.

Funny how little time these two needed. But Hell was timeless after all. It could have been three days, or even three years Roman was stuck down there. There was no way to tell.

What he could tell though, was that ‘stuck’ was so far off from the way he was feeling down here. With this demon.

Who was looking at him as if he was his last wish.

Roman couldn’t take it anymore. It was now or never.

And suddenly Virgil wasn’t thinking anymore. Instead, he was pulled on top of Roman, pushing him into the pillows. Lips on lips.

Why did it take him so long?

---------------------------------

Why was this so hard?

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it :)

I’ll be back as soon as possible. Big ending’s coming up, so get ready!

Tag list:

@romano-hottopic

@vpow

@a-formless-entity

@lovelivingmydreams

@alice-only-me

Not the Type: 1/7

Here it is, my contribution to the @captainswanmoviemarathon​ ! Aka, the Bring it On AU no one asked for. I have a love/hate relationship with this movie. On the one hand, I love it as a rom com. On the other hand, as a sports movie, it’s awful. I was a cheerleader myself, and did a brief stint coaching, so I have some issues with this movie. First of all, where is the coach?!? Can you imagine a male driven sports movie without a coach? Remember the Titans with no coach? Glory Road with no coach? Miracle with no coach? I mean, come on! And do you really think a high school is gonna let their students do stunts that can potentially cause paralysis or death without adult supervision? And while they do portray the cheerleaders as athletes, in my opinion, they still hyper-sexualize them. The girls are also way too catty with each other. I can tell you from personal experience, that you need massive trust to do those stunts. Just sayin. Anyway, this whole soap box is to say that this is a LOOSE adaptation of Bring it On written by someone who loves the sport it portrays. But don’t worry, this modern day Lieutenant Duckling AU will have plenty of fluff, feels, flirty banter, and epic kisses. I would like to say this is the cheerleading version of @welllpthisishappening​ ‘s Blue Line universe, but I don’t pretend to be that brilliant. Laura’s writing did inspire me as I wrote this “sports fic,” however, so massive props to her: the queen of sports writing!

Massive thanks to the mods of the Captain Swan Movie Marathon event as well as all of the other writers. The discord chats have been a blast - especially when you all helped me brainstorm a title for this. Thanks to @hookedonapirate​ for being an awesome beta and to @rumdrum91​ for giving the first chapter a quick once over even while you are insanely busy.

This fic is about . . . 85% complete? It will be updated every Saturday. I’ll shut up now and get to the point . . .

Summary: Emma Swan first notices him in the stands at the Friday night football game. She can tell right away Killian Jones is not the football type. Then again, she's not the cheerleader type either, but here she is with pom poms. Life hasn't ever gone the way Emma planned. Lately, that's actually been a good thing. Maybe Killian Jones is a good thing, too.

Rated: T

Also on Ao3

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Bounce left, bounce right. Two hip shakes. Roger rabbit, Roger Rabbit. Bobby Brown, Bobby Brown. Cabbage patch. Electric slide. Repeat.

Emma repeated the steps to the dance like a mantra in her head. A cheerleader was supposed to smile all the time, but she couldn’t conjure one up as she bounced through the choreography that dated back to 1989. Okay, maybe they threw in the cabbage patch in 1994, but still. This shit was old.

The band sped up as they played through another round of “Louie, Louie,” and the cheerleading squad was racing through the dance like a tape on fast forward. The band thought it was hilarious and never ceased to tire of the schtick.

Emma was doing what felt like her hundredth Roger Rabbit when she caught sight of him. A large book half covered his face, so she could still see his arched brow and smirk. She held his gaze as she went into her Bobby Browns, and he lowered his book, still staring openly, a crooked grin filling his face. Was he mocking her? She stared him down as she did the cabbage patch, and his eyes widened. She tilted her chin as she went into the electric slide, and his tongue swiped his lips.

“Louie, Louie” finally, mercifully, ended. Emma whipped her ponytail as she broke the guy’s stare. She bounced up and down, waving her pom poms and shouting “Go Knights!” Mary Margaret had finally gotten her to stop rolling her eyes.

“Well look at you, Emma Swan,” Ruby said as they all turned to watch the game and cheer the offense.

“What?” Emma stood at attention, just like all the other girls, her poms on her hips.

“Don’t play dumb, Emma,” Ashley quipped on her other side. “We’re better at it than you.”

“That guy,” Ruby explained. “You were having cheer sex with him.”

“Cheer sex? Seriously?”

Emma tossed her poms down to the ground and tightened her ponytail angrily. She hated football season.

🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈

“Fancy meeting you here.”

Emma whirled around to find herself face to face with the guy she was definitely not having cheer sex with. Whatever the hell that was. She rolled her eyes. Mary Margaret couldn’t do anything about it during half time.

“Just because I’m baring my midriff and my skirt barely covers my hips doesn’t give you permission to ogle me.”

His blue eyes widened. Very blue, actually. No! It didn’t matter if his eyes were pretty; he was a creep.

“You misunderstand me, love.”

“Not your love.” Though he did have a hot accent. What? No! Nothing about him was hot.

He sighed. “Look, I couldn’t help watching you. All the other girls had fake smiles, but you . . . “ he shrugged. “You looked like you hated being here as much as I do.”

Emma blinked in surprise, and her gaze darted to the hardback copy of The Two Towers clutched in his hand. She also took in his slightly disheveled hair, slender build, and Pink Floyd t-shirt. Clearly not the football type.

The students in line behind them for the concession stand grumbled for them to move, so they both shuffled forward.

Emma smiled apologetically and extended her hand. “Emma Swan.”

“Killian Jones.”

“So, what are doing here, hipster?”

He chuckled and ducked his head. He looked a lot more bashful than he had in the stands.

“Granny insisted I put down my guitar, stop singing depressing songs, and get my ass here to support my foster siblings. Her words exactly.”

Emma’s eyes widened. “You’re Ruby’s new foster brother!”

He leaned closer and winked. “Guilty as charged.”

******************************************************

“Cheer sex, Ruby!” Emma snapped as she returned from the concession stand with her bottle of water and bag of pretzels. She lifted the items up on auto-pilot for Coach Ava’s approval, which she received. The Coach insisted on healthy snacks during games and practice. Some of the girls chafed at the rule, but Emma had no problem with it. The last thing she wanted was someone hurling from the top of a pyramid because they had just wolfed down chili cheese fries or something.

“What?” Ruby asked before taking a bite of the apple in her hand.

“Cheer sex,” Emma repeated, “with your foster brother? Ew!”

Ruby rolled her eyes as she chewed and swallowed. “Let me emphasize the foster part. If you wanna bang Killian, I won’t stop you.”

Emma let out a groan of frustration as several of the other girls giggled. “I’m not banging anyone.”

“Exactly! And why is that, Emma?”

“Leave her alone,” Mary Margaret admonished. “Just banging someone isn’t what she needs.”

Emma appreciated Mary Margaret’s positivity - usually - but she wasn’t in the mood for another speech on true love. “I’d actually prefer a complete change of topic.”

“Good,” the girls jumped at the sound of Coach Ava’s voice behind them, “because you only have five minutes left of half time to finish those snacks. Which is kind of hard to do when you’re yapping.”

“Okay, coach,” the girls grumbled good-naturedly. They all loved Ava, and not just because she was Mary Margaret’s mom. She really cared about all of them and was both tough and fair as a coach. Better even than some of the gymnastics coaches Emma had had. Emma had never planned on being a cheerleader, but Emma was used to things in her life not going according to plan. That was usually for the worst, but lately she had to admit it had been for the better. She hadn’t planned on being adopted by the Nolans, either, and that had been the best thing to ever happen to her. When the social worker brought her to her new foster mother, Ruth, and foster brother, David, she had fully expected it to be nothing more than yet another brief stay. She hadn’t expected to be loved.

She hadn’t expected to love in return.

Emma tossed her empty pretzel bag into the trash can near the stadium stairs. She took another swig of her water, then tossed the bottle into her cheer bag that was monogrammed with her name and a megaphone. It was cheesy and matched the bags of all the other girls.

She hadn’t expected to like this group of girls, either. Hadn’t expected to find a group of athletes, but she did. Yes, since age thirteen, life had been surprising her rather than throwing her curveballs. Maybe thirteen was actually her lucky number. Now she was seventeen and had an actual family in addition to fifteen sisters.

With pom poms.

🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈

Emma crammed her first and second period books into her locker, grabbed the stuff she needed for third, then slammed the door shut. She took off down the hall at almost a sprint. TV and movies were shit in portraying high school. Kids hanging out by their lockers chatting at any and all times of the day. Complete and utter lies. Storybrooke High gave kids five minutes - five minutes! - to get to each class. There were some breaks where she didn’t have time to stop at her locker, but her American History book weighed about three tons and she refused to lug it around all day. She didn’t care if it was completely out of her way. She was chucking that book, damn it, before she threw her back out. Three weeks into the year, and she had it timed down to the second.

She did not have time to be slammed into and knocked to her rear end. “Hey!” she shouted at the jerk who’d plowed into her.

A hand reached down and hauled her to her feet. “Apologies lass.”

She knew that accent before she looked into those blue eyes. She suddenly realized she was still clutching Killian’s hand in hers. She yanked her hand away.

“Yeah, well watch where you’re going next time.”

He grinned in a way that was three-fourths charming and one-fourth roguish. “A pleasure as always, Swan.”

Then the ridiculous boy bowed over her hand and kissed it! She rolled her eyes. He arched his brow.

“Advanced Trigonometry?”

He was offering her a pad of graph paper that had her homework scrawled all over it. She snatched it from him and stuffed it into her bag. It was then she realized the zipper was broken. Great. Just great.

“Why are you so interested in my class schedule?”

He shrugged as he rocked back on his heels. “I’m impressed is all.”

She lifted one shoulder, then dropped it as she attempted to balance her busted backpack in both arms. “My mom insisted on one advanced course this year, and math’s the one subject I don’t suck at.”

He tilted his head. “Intriguing.”

“Why?” she snapped. “Because you assume cheerleaders are moronic sluts?” The bell rang, and she dropped her head back with a groan. “Great! Now you’ve made me late.”

She shouldered past him, and her hackles raised when she heard his low chuckle. He laid a hand on her arm before she could move away and lowered his head to her ear.

“Most guys would find your attitude off-putting, but I love a challenge.”

“Sure you do,” she muttered as she stalked away.

At practice that afternoon, she was informing Ruby that her brother was an absolute pain in the ass.