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cuddlesnowy · 7 years

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Sonic and Tails in Castle Eggman Zone - Act 5

In the final installment of this adventure, our heroes are trapped in a confrontation with Dr. Robotnik himself! Can they escape the castle in time, or must every good Zone end with a boss fight? Read the gripping finale after...you guessed it....the jump.

Act 5

Sure enough, moments after these words had left Sonic’s mouth; Dr. Robotnik strode into the room, looking incredibly pleased with himself.

“That was just too easy! Everything’s gone egg-sactly to plan!”

Sonic began squirming uncomfortably within the guard’s grip.

“Alright, you can do what you want to us, but please don’t start with the egg puns!”

Robotnik winced a little, not wanting his moment in the spotlight interrupted.

“Puns or no puns, Sonic, you and your little fox friend are trapped and your fun ends here!” Sonic stopped struggling, instead going with the flow. He was very used to the doctor’s dramatic speeches.

“Yeah, yeah, you caught me. But what’s with the whole castle thing? Even for one of your traps, this is weird!”

A big grin appeared below Robotnik’s moustache, “So, it’s exposition you want? Well that’s just what you’re about to get!”

“Hang tight, Tails,” said Sonic under his breath “this next paragraph is gonna be a long one…”

Robotnik cleared his throat and begun,

“You see, I’m sick and tired of always having my plans thwarted and my bases destroyed, it starts to get a little costly having to re-scheme and rebuild all the time, you know. It was high time to up my defences, and what better defence than a castle? If it’s disguised and out of the way, no-one can bother me while I get on with my work, and on the offhand chance someone does stumble in, well, my dastardly decoys and traps will soon take care of that! And just like that, my plans are safe from any meddlesome freedom fighters like you two! Perhaps I should have kept that last part under wraps, but there’s nothing you can do to stop me now, for your little castle tour is over! GUARDS! TAKE THEM AWAY! ….Heh, I’ve always wanted to say that!”

“So much for trying to stall for time,” said an irritated Sonic, trying to break loose the bars of the cell he was now trapped inside. “At least it’s a better view than the dungeon, but still not my idea of comfort!” The cell door was guarded by another robot that didn’t seem to be keeping too close an eye on them, but still made any attempts to escape seem rather futile. Sonic and Tails had spent the last few minutes pulling at, spinning at and poking limbs through the jail bars and no new ideas had come to light. That was until Tails tapped Sonic on the shoulder. When the blue hedgehog turned, he saw his friend with a big smile on his face and brandishing a familiar sword.

“Tails, you’re on fire today!” cheered Sonic, once again impressed by the small fox’s resourcefulness. The blade slipped through the bars with ease, and within a few moments, Tails was able to slash at the lock, sending it clattering to the ground.

“Wuh-oh!” said Tails. The noise had alerted the guard who had turned to face them wielding a large lance.

“Leave this one to me!” Sonic called out, swinging the prison door aside. He speedily dodged all of the robot’s jabbing motions, and although its large shield made spinning into it a problem, a quick spin jump on the head soon put the knight out of commission.

“Just one more thing…” he added, taking Tails’ sword and lobbing it at a “hidden” camera in the corner, “Now Eggman can’t watch us break outta this joint!”

The two had made their way back into the main hall and without Robotnik anywhere in sight they felt free to take their time. Tails watched on as Sonic paced up and down, a puzzled expression on his face.

“There’s just one thing I don’t get. If Robotnik really does keep his evil plans here, then how come we haven’t found them yet? We saw every nook and cranny of those dungeons, and nadda!”

“Do you think we have time for one more look?” asked Tails, ascending above the ground and circling the room. But it didn’t take very long for Tails’ tails to stop spinning, and quicker than usual, Tails descended back down, exhausted. Considering they had originally entered for shelter, it was no surprise really that this night was beginning to take its toll. Tails recalled their introduction to the castle and how they weren’t able to get anything from the banquet, let alone have a moment’s rest. It wasn’t just him. When Tails looked at Sonic, he could see it in his friend’s eyes. For once, Sonic was tired out too.

“On second thought,” he decided “Maybe we should take it easy for a few minutes…”

Sonic agreed, and after checking the coast was clear, he lead the way to the sleeping quarters. It was why they came here after all, and even if the situation wasn’t safe enough to sneak in some shut eye, the least they could do was put their feet up for a minute while Robotnik’s guard was down. Tails pointed to a small, yet welcoming room. A lit torch filled it with a warm glow, revealing a large double bed. Sonic, who hadn’t had the pleasure of trying out one of the castle bedrooms yet, took first dibs and dived onto the mattress. It seemed cosy enough, bar a strange crinkling noise from under the pillow. Feeling this was off; he jumped back onto his feet and fished something out from underneath. He emerged holding a roll of blueprint paper, which he immediately unfurled and presented to Tails.

“Talk about an anticlimax! He builds an entire castle fortress, and then goes and hides his secret plans under his pillow! Ha!” While Sonic couldn’t help but be amused at this turn of events, it was clear what had to be done next. There was no more time for lounging about, just to keep hold of the plan and get out of there! If they could slip away and decipher the blueprints, they could beat Robotnik at his game and put a stop to his next evil scheme before it was even in motion.

With a single nod as their signal, Sonic and Tails sprinted out of the room and towards the entrance. Just before they reached their goal, the front doors slammed shut loudly.

“It’s no good, they’re locked!” cried Tails, pushing against them with all his might. It was clear that Robotnik wasn’t going to let them go that easily. Sonic grinned, all traces of tiredness now wiped from his face. The adrenaline of finding the plans was just the sort of energy he needed, and just the sort he liked.

“If Robotnik wants us to fight to the finish, it’s a fight he’s gonna get!” So far, Sonic had admittedly not been taking the adventure that seriously, but things had just got interesting. He turned to Tails and winked,

“Whaddya say? You up for an exciting quest?”

“Aye, Sir Hedgehog! Tis a most splendid adventure!”

“Okay, Tails, no more of that fancy talk!” insisted Sonic. Tails nodded, and the two set off again in the opposite direction.

If the front exit was blocked off, the next step was to head to the back. Sonic bolted down corridors, tearing through any badnik which would get in his way, and Tails followed closely behind, helping out where he could. It wasn’t long before they reached the back door and the two skidded to a halt in the courtyard. They stood and inspected their surroundings. It was good to be back on grass again, but there didn’t seem to be any way out of the castle grounds from here. Castle walls lined with colourful flags formed a circle around the large patch of land and the few archways leading out were barred off. Raised above them were long rows of seating which on closer inspection were filled with onlooking robots. It was as though they had walked in on some sort of arena. But before they could turn back, their view darkened as an enormous shadow lingered over their heads, followed by an almighty roar. Looking above, Sonic and Tails saw an enormous dragon shaped figure descending. Of course, like everything else they had encountered, it was a fake, the engineering work of Dr. Eggman, but it was still an impressive and powerful looking beast, and no doubt the castle’s final trap. But what was an adventure without a battle to finish it off?

“We’re going on a dragon hunt!” called Sonic.

“We’re not scared!” replied Tails, as the two faced towards the now landed dragon, ready for action.

No sooner than they had poised for attack, a stream of fire emitted from the dragon’s mouth, and Sonic and Tails were forced to dive in opposite directions to avoid getting hit. Sticking together during the fight was going to be tough work. As soon as the two could see each other again past the fire, they signalled each other with a serious nod and prepared for attack once more. Their synchronised spin jump was poorly timed however, as before they could make contact, the dragon took off again, leaving them to abruptly land, skidding to a halt along the ground to stop themselves overbalancing. Sonic frowned for a moment, before realising that he had flight on his side too.

“Hey Tails,” he called out to his buddy, “Use your tails to take out the wings! I’ll deal with the flames!” Tails whirled up his two tails like a helicopter rotor and flew upwards after the dragon. His tails were moving at such a speed that whenever they made contact with the wings there was a loud scraping noise as sparks flew.

“I think it’s working!” Tails squeaked, barely making his voice heard over the noise. If he kept at it, the wings would soon be weakened enough to keep the dragon earthbound. Sonic meanwhile, was concentrating on his own safety, dodging and weaving past flames, which he soon noticed were being fired from a flamethrower within the “creature’s” mouth. As he jumped and ran, he could see the ground around him getting scorched, singeing the once green grass. He did not want to get caught up in those flames! While he was trying to figure out the best way of taking the weapon out, there was an almighty crash as the dragon came hurtling down to the ground, its wings now tattered and smoking and its means of flight now gone. Sonic jolted out of the way just in time and spotted Tails making a safe descent by the back legs.

“I did it-WAAAAH!” Before Tails could finish his sentence, a large green tail had attempted to hit him from behind. Jumping over it like a skipping rope, he managed to avoid the hit, only he was now the one behind. The tail swung back for a frontal hit, and Tails, barely able to register the first attack yet, wasn’t so lucky this time. He clutched hold of the robotic tail as it made contact so as not to be knocked down by its force, only this made the situation worse. The tail kept on moving with Tails attached, and the fox was left clinging on to it helplessly, trying not to fall. This feat was made harder by the fact that the dragon’s tail was swinging about viciously, attempting to fling him off into the castle’s walls. It was like a particularly intense game of bucking bronco.

“Sooniic! Heelp!” he cried out, already feeling dizzy.

“Hang on, Tails!” replied Sonic.

“I am!”

Sonic knew he had to get to the other side to get to Tails, but there was still the problem of the flames. Now, if there was one thing Sonic was good at judging, it was speed, and he could tell this dragon was not built for speed. He jumped up on the steps for maximum manoeuvrability and began to head towards Tails. Unfortunately, he was spotted, and the dragon began turning too, spewing out flames as it moved, forcing Sonic to run laps around the colosseum.

“Sorry about this, Tails!” he called out, imagining how hard the addition of circular movements must be on his friend. Sonic was right, however, the dragon was no match for his speed, and no matter how much it moved, the fire breath never caught up with the speedy hedgehog. Instead, when Sonic looked back, he saw that the flames had instead been accidentally taking out the robot bystanders, several of which were now in ruin.

“Aaugh! My beautiful bots, battered and broken!” called out a familiar voice. Sonic stopped and looked down at the dragon. Dr. Robotnik had just revealed his location! Sonic threw himself off the raised stairs, curling himself into a ball as he did so, and aimed for a crash collision course with the dragon’s chest. As he rammed into his target, Sonic kept spinning until a plate of green, scaly metal came off, revealing a window underneath. Inside, a rather frantic looking Robotnik was at a control panel, its various buttons, switches and leavers controlling the beast’s functions. He was surrounded by monitors displaying a feed of the surroundings.

The sudden damage to his vehicle had taken him by surprise, and he momentarily lost track of the tail’s control, leaving it to fall limp and drop Tails. It didn’t take long for Robotnik to recover however, and soon he was in full control again, grinning menacingly at Sonic.

“I’ll get you yet, hedgehog!”

The flamethrower started back up again at full force. Only now the arena had seen a lot of damage, leaving there less room to manoeuvre. Sonic had an idea. This could be used to his advantage.

“How’s your football skills, Tails?”

This wasn’t exactly the sort of question Tails, who was still recovering from the dragon ride, wanted to hear. He held his head and shut his eyes tight for a moment in hopes of getting his bearings back quicker. Sonic was going to need his co-ordination skills to be top notch.

“You see that rock in front of you? Pass it to me!” Sonic was pointing to a piece of rubble that has crumbled off the stairs earlier. Tails gave the thumbs up, and kicked the rock towards Sonic. He wasn’t sure if he was just strong enough to take it or if Robotnik had simply cheaped out on the stone, but thankfully doing so didn’t injure Tails’ foot. It was Sonic’s turn now, and going in for a running kick, he sent the rock flying.

“GOOOAL!” Sonic cheered, throwing his hands up in the air. The rock, as intended, had jammed up the flamethrower, which was now unusable. Robotnik slammed his fists down on the console in frustration. Not only had he been made vulnerable, but now his primary means of attack had gone.

With Sonic and Tails back together and Robotnik almost powerless, it was time to finish this mecha dragon once and for all!

“Let’s do it, Sonic!” suggested Tails, confidentially. Now that the inner mechanisms were exposed, their synchronised spin jump wasn’t going to fail. The two leapt up for the final hits.

SMACK!

It worked. The mech began glowing red and smoking, vibrating heavily as it did so. There was no way it was in action anymore. Even above the sound of failing mechanics, Robotnik’s tantrum could be heard.

“I don’t believe it! I-I won’t! All of my traps! My castle! All for nothing! Why can’t I ever have nice things?!”

The source of the glowing became clear as the dragon went up in flames. Destroying a mech with fire attacks was going to have an explosive result. A moment later something burst out from inside. It was Robotnik in his egg-mobile, the dragon control panel still present.

“Too bad you’re too slow to prevent my impending escape! Mua ha ha ha!” The Egg-mobile rose upwards and began to leave the castle grounds. No matter how heated up their battles got, Robotnik always seemed to get away at the last minute. Tails began to run in hope of somehow catching up, but Sonic stopped him. Not only was their foe too far ahead, but the dragon fire was spreading rapidly. Soon the whole arena would be up in flames. It was simply too hazardous to stick around.

“We’ll just have to let Eggman one up us…as usual!” said Sonic, turning back indoors.

“Besides, we still have his plans!” piped in Tails in a sing song-y voice. As long as they could successfully escape the castle, all was not lost.

It wasn’t long before the two had made it back across the castle to the front entrance. Unfortunately, nothing had changed from before, and the front door was still sealed shut.

“What now?” asked Tails. Even without Robotnik’s presence, he’d still managed to make things difficult. Sonic shrugged. There had to be some other way out. The question was where? It was then Tails spotted something he’d missed before. Along the far side of the floor, a single, open drain exposing water ran across the floor.

“Follow me!” Tails took the lead as he followed the water from room to room until he finally got results - the castle drainage room, where the drain became wider and deeper. It lead to a small gap which when Tails looked closely; he could see the outdoors through.

“It’s the way out!” he decided, before turning to Sonic. Sonic wasn’t smiling. Some of that bravado which he had before was now lost. If there had to be just one exit left, why did it have to be via the castle moat?

It had been quite the underwater trek, and Tails airlifted Sonic out of the moat and towards land. The two were both soaking and dripping. Tails was feeling good. For such a strange adventure, he thought he had been particularly brave. As he stood on the grass and watched the sun rise, his excitement for all they had been through and achieved didn’t wane.

“What should we do now Sonic? Should we run back to my workshop and try to decode the blueprints? Maybe we could have a race back!”

Sonic gave a weak smile back, appreciative of Tails’ enthusiasm, but unable to give much in reply.

“Whoa there, lil’ buddy! It’s been a busy night. Whatever happened to hitting the hay?” Tails looked closer at this friend, wet and shivering from the cold. As the two made their way back into the woodlands, he couldn’t help but wonder; had Sonic actually been scared back there? Surely not! After all, he was the most noble (and the coolest) hero of the land!

Zone Clear

#art post #fanfic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sonic and tails #tails #Miles Tails Prower #srb2 #sonic robo blast 2 #storybook #castle #dragon #Eggman #Robotnik #gecky #Thank you for reading!#Especially if you put up with all the cheesy serial stuff at the beginning of each post ;)

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red-sector-rivendell · 3 years

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media reccs? 👀 since apparently you are a man of good taste?

Wow thank you 😏 I have a masterlist of movies that have changed me I often recommend to people, I'll just copy and paste here with quick synopses lol, it's kinda long. I'm not super great at writing synopses tho so bear with me

Dead Poets Society (1989)

One of my favorite movies of all time and a total classic. It's about a group of boys at a strict boarding school who are inspired by their new English teacher (played by Robin Williams) to think for themselves and chase their dreams. This movie literally changed my life lol

Quadrophenia (1979)

This movie is based off of the story behind the concept album by The Who of the same name. It follow the life of a young man named Jimmy who is in a gang called the Mods. Theres this huge gang war between them and the Rockers (I think that's their name, it's been a while since i watched it) and Jimmy questions his beliefs about coming-of-age and his values in life throughout the film

Cabaret (1972)

Based off of the Broadway musical of the same name, this movie is about a British man who moves to Germany during the beginning of the rise of Nazis. He meets a woman who basically turns his world upside down, and it follows their love affair and sexuality and anti-semitism, and it's hilarious and heart wrenching and a beautiful movie

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

This is a super trippy romance film. Basically in the universe of this movie, theres a technology that is developed that can delete memories of an entire person from your mind while you are in a dream-like state, and the main character of this movie (played by Jim Carrey) decides to undergo the procedure after a bad breakup. Its soooo good I highly recommend this movie

It's Such a Beautiful Day (2012)

This is an animated film about a man named Bill who is going through brain cancer. Its told from the perspective of an unnamed narrator essentially communicating everything Bill sees, hears, and experiences. This is the movie that got me into film and it is still a complete masterpiece and one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen

The Dirties (2013)

Loved this one a lot back in high school, it's been a while since I watched it. This is a film made in Canada about a high schooler named Matt Johnson and his friend Owen who decide to make a short film for their class about them killing the gang at their school that bullies them, and things take a dark turn. It's a hilarious movie and hits pretty close to home for me in a lot of ways haha

Logan's Run (1976)

Great movie, pretty cheesy though so be warned. This is based off a book with the same name, and it takes place in the future where most of humanity is wiped out except for a small society that lives under a domed structure. No one is allowed to leave the dome, and to control overpopulation, no one is allowed to live past the age of 30. It's really bizarre but I love this movie

Donnie Darko (2001)

Pretty sure this was Jake Gyllenhaal's first big hit when he was super young (I think he was like 19 in this movie but I'm not sure) basically about this kid, Donnie Darko, who is somewhat schizophrenic and has a habit of sleepwalking. After one particular incident he has a near-death experience and starts seeing a man in a bunny costume everywhere who makes him do weird stuff. Another pretty trippy movie with a crazy ending

American Psycho (2000)

Honestly I'm sure a few on this list you've probably seen (most likely this one included) but I didnt wanna leave any out because they're all so good. If you haven't seen this, it's about a Wall Street executive named Patrick Bateman who is a materialistic phony by day and a serial killer by night. I tried to read the book but the inner dialogue was really hard to get through lmao. Awesome movie though huge recommend.

Clockwork Orange (1971)

Yet another trippy one. And fuck it's been a long time since I've seen it so I might get some stuff wrong here. But it's basically about this serial rapist guy who hangs out with this group of goons and they all like to go beat up homeless people and shit, but the main character gets captured and has to go through reformation therapy to make him a better person. It's an extremely bizarre movie but soooo good and kind of hilarious lol

Creep (2014)

Of course this is on my list haha. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a horror movie about this freelance film guy who answers an ad on craigslist to help a man with cancer film a movie for his unborn son. And shit gets weird real fast. One of my favorite horror movies ever, I wouldnt say it's super scary but it's fun as fuck

Hereditary (2018)

If I'm being honest, I don't like a lot of big movies made in super recent years and especially not horror movies (mostly because they're all cheap cash grabs with no substance) but this one is an exception for me. Hereditary is fucking masterful in my opinion, legitimately creepy as hell and well-produced and well written. To put the plot as vaguely as possible without spoiling anything, it's about a family (mostly the mother) who go through some crazy fucked up shit. That's literally all I can say without giving anything away. Super good flick, big recommend

Gattaca (1997)

This list isn't in any particular order, and I love all these movies to death, but if I had to rank them this would probably be on the lower end. It's not a bad movie, it's still great but it's just not as life-changing as the other ones lmao. This takes place in the future where genetic modifications have progressed to a point where you can modify your unborn child's DNA to have the perfect baby. This has led to, essentially racial bias against those who never had that procedure when they were born. The main character was not one of these "special" children, but he wants an extremely prestigious job which requires that of the employee. Through the film, he is trying to fake his identity and fool the company into thinking he is one of these perfect people. Still a great film

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Johnny Depp, man, he is something else. I LOVE this movie. Based off a true story and a book written by the man who lived it, Hunter S. Thompson, this follows the adventure of the writer and his attorney as they go on a drugged-out, psychedelic romp through Las Vegas with the original intention being to cover a story on a motorcycle race, but things go off the rails as they both terrorize the entire city in a way. Just a fun ride the whole way, a great movie

The Truman Show (1998)

God I'm realizing this list is long as fuck. Don't watch all of these movies, it might take you a lifetime lmao. Anyway, this is a classic Jim Carrey movie and another one you've probably seen. But again, if you haven't, this movie is about a man whose entire life has been fabricated and shot for television without him knowing. Super great, super moving, fantastic film 10 outta 10 I gotta wrap this shit up

A Scanner Darkly (2006)

A lesser known Keanu Reeves movie, but fuck I wish more people have seen this. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and it's based off a book which is just as amazing. This movie takes place in the near future, where facial recognition technology has progressed wayyy too far, and drugs have gotten to the point of no return. The plot follows a detective who is undercover in a junkie house trying to figure out who is the top of the drug dealing totem pole, but ends up wrapped in the junkie lifestyle a little too deeply. Seriously, I recommend this movie to everyone who asks, it's so damn good

Fight Club (1999)

Another popular one. If you havent seen it, it's based off a book by Chuck Palahniuk following the story of a man (the main character actually doesnt have a name lol) who meets a guy named Tyler Durden who changes his entire perspective on how the world works. They start an underground boxing club together to help themselves and other men blow off steam and get away from the capitalist consumer-centric lifestyle they are forced into. Big twist at the end, great movie five stars on yelp

Harold and Maude (1971)

This is a weird one. Gotta say. It's about a guy in his 20s who meets an old woman at a funeral and falls in love with her. Sounds pretty ok at face value but theres a lot of really strange subplots and a huuuuge twist at the end (one of the subplots being the guy compulsively fakes his suicide to get his mother's attention) big recommend

Polyester (1981)

This one I cant even explain u just have to watch it its fucking bizarre

Fargo (1996)

Ok lightning round on the synopses, this movie is about a man who wants to commit fraud by hiring guys to kidnap his wife so her father can pay them ransom and instead the husband gets the money but everything goes wrong it's really good

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Another modern movie I actually like, last time I watched this I was on shrooms and it was crazy but it's about this hotel right on the border of california and (Nevada I think?) And all these weird people are staying at it and there are twists at every turn and chris hemsworth is a cult leader in it its great

Memento (2000)

GREAT MOVIE GOD PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE it's about a man who develops short term memory loss after witnessing the rape and murder of his wife AND WHEN I SAY THERE ARE TWISTS LIKE EVERY TEN MINUTES I MEAN IT. The film is chronologically backwards, in that the first scene takes place at the end of the story and works back from there in increments of like 5 minutes. Basically each scene is a segment of time that this guy remembers before his memory loss kicks in and he forgets and FUCK it's so good please god watch it

Almost Famous (2000)

This is another one that would probably be low on my ranking but still a great and fun movie, it's about this kid that wants to write articles about rock stars for the rolling stone (based off a true story btw) and he ends up running away to go ride on a tour bus with some band and gets into all types of shenanigans and its great and sad

Parasite (2019)

Another modern movie I love, fuck this is getting too long lmao. Poor family wants to make money and they hatch a scheme to pretend to be bougie and work for this rich family but shit gets weird and everything goes wrong and it's so good (also literally the only film ever that made me speechless afterwards)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Pretty much lives up to the hype, I totally forgot the plot but it's pretty damn good I remember that lmao

The Warriors (1979)

Fun movie, theres a bunch of teen gangs in New York and the leader of all of em is like "hey we should rally all the gangs together and fuck up the cops so we can rule this city" but then he gets shot by someone in the crowd and the gang The Warriors gets blamed so the whole movie is them running from all the other gangs so they can get back to home base and it's just an all around fun time movie

12 Monkeys (1995)

THIS MOVJE IS CRAZY it takes place in the future where a virus has almost completely wiped humans off the face of the earth so these scientists send this guy back in time to figure out where it came from so they can stop it from ever happening but obviously everything goes wrong and yadda yadda yadda it's amazing

Waking Life (2001)

Gonna preface this by saying this film is definitely not for entertainment, it's kind of an arthouse-type flick. It's the type of movie you have to think really really hard about to watch. The basic plot is the main character is stuck inside his own lucid dream, and is walking around listening to all these characters in his dream talk to him about, idk like the meaning of life and consciousness and shit. It's really good if you're in the mood for that type of thing.

Okay I'm finally done, you probably didnt expect this but I've been meaning to put my movie recommendations on this blog anyway haha. I deleted some just cause it was getting wayyyy too long. If u want a shorter list I can just give u like a top 5 in DMs but there u go have at it, every movie on that list is a banger I swear

#long post #movies #film #cinema #cinephile #ask #movie recommendations #you have no obligation to read all that #really shows how bored i am that i wrote out this whole fuckin thing on my phone lmao #youre welcome?

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jumpingpools · 7 years

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KDramas, A review

Hi friends, I watch a lot of kdramas so I thought i would review them if anyone was interested in watching some. (These are my opinions plz don’t destroy me)

She Was Pretty

Main girl used to be pretty and knew a fat boi when they were younger. They meet up later in life when she is ugly and he’s hot, so she has her hot bff pretend to be her to meet him. Things get complicated. Love triangles everywhere.

Took like 9 fucking episodes to get main girl to not act like an idiot. Plot line and main girl was kinda annoying. Couldn’t finish it. Decent but not my fave.

Chicago Typewriter

The plot alternates between modern day and the 1930s when Korea was colonized by Japan. It follows a group of liberation fighters in the 1930s, and in modern time a famous/grouchy writer, his number one fan and a hot ghost from the past. The modern day group is the reincarnation of the freedom fighter group. Travel through time with them as they discover their past together and how they died.

WOW this one was amazing. Has a lot of literary references, especially with Stephen King. Discusses the nuances of what it means to be a writer. Discusses plagiarism, censorship, mental health and freedom. Has a love triangle, but the love plot isn’t exactly the whole plot of the story. Main girl is kind of a call back to the other characters of the right thing to do and represents many things throughout the show. A must watch.

Weightlifting Fairy

YAS QUEEN! A girl struggles with society’s ideals of what makes a woman beautiful, her career as a weightlifter, and a one-sided love affair. REALLY REALLY cute romance. A very healthy romantic relationship. A must watch. SO CUTE. SO GOOD. WATCH IT.

The Man in our House

Vastly underrated. Main gurl comes home after her mother dies to find a dude younger than her saying he was married to her mom and owns the house/property. She must figure out his intentions. Cute story about redemption, grief, supporting loved ones and romance. Has action moments, romance and legal elements.

Kill Me, Heal Me

A man struggling with dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality disorder) tries to keep his mental health struggles a secret and meets a cute/smart Lady who happens to be a psychiatrist and has her help him. The history between these characters and personalities are more complex than any of them can imagine.

OMG this drama gave me so many feels. It made me laugh out loud and cry for days. It talks about mental health in a beautiful and intelligent way. All the little things in this drama matter and come back later on. Mystery, mental health, family, and love are the major themes of this one. A MUST WATCH.

Fight My Way

A group of four friends slowly realize that they haven’t fought hard enough to realize their dreams, and work towards their life goals even though they are older now. Inspirational and cute. Some moments are a little annoying but a solid ok drama.

You’re All Surrounded

Follows a group of detectives solving an old case that has to do with one of the detective’s dark childhood (mom got murdered in front of him). Great. Unpredictable in the best way. Keeps you on your toes. Cute romance. (The main girl is homeless???) but it’s chill. Would watch again. A solid drama. Crime thriller, romance, melodrama.

Hyde Jekyll, Me

Another dissociative identity disorder one. Kill me heal me is better. A rich Boi was traumatized as a kid and has DID. A cute GURL falls in love with one of his personalities. Mystery, romance and such. I’d give it a 5 out of 10. I did cry.

Bromance

(Taiwanese) Dear baby Jesus this one was so cheesy and awful but I LOVE IT. Gender bender. Gurl has to pretend to be a boi and falls in love with her friend-bro (a rich BOI). But rich Boi isn’t a jerk in this one (surprising right? His fam is nice too). The side character plot story is REALLY REALLY good. Like they should have been their own show. Bff of rich boi falls in love with a girl with cancer in remission, you can see where this is going… Gender bender, cute, so cheesy that you’ll laugh, gets you with the feels, romance.

Absolute Boyfriend

(Taiwanese) HOLY HELL THIS ONE IS BAD. Like so bad. Gurl makes a robot boyfriend as a joke but ends up actually receiving the robot boyfriend. Neighbor boi is in love with her. She has to hide the fact that robot boyfriend is a robot. It’s bad fam. I still cried at the end though. If you’re looking for a gawd awful drama to watch to make you laugh at how bad it is, watch this one… but also I did cry…

Coffee Prince

Oh man. Genderbender. Poor Gurl pretends to be a boi to get jobs that pay better (I feel you gurl), ends up working with a rich BOI in an all-male coffee shop. Rich BOI falls in love with male her and has a panic attack. Lots of love triangles. The beginning is slow, but worth it to get to the good stuff. Cheesy but really enjoyed this one. SOBBED LIKE A BABY at one point. Worth it watching.

(did i mention the main boi is in goblin??)

Secret Garden

Jerky rich Boi and stunt woman Gurl switch bodies. Gurl is a badass bitch I love her. Takes a while to get to the main plot. Love triangles (what drama doesn’t have one). A solid drama. Cute.

Descendants of the Sun

OMG SO SO SO GOOD. My absolute favorite!!! Doctor Lady and Special operations military Boi fall in love. Often separated b/c of their jobs. Both end up in a (fictional) war-torn place called Erk. Very seriously discusses what it means to be/the morality of a soldier and a doctor. CRIED SO HARD OMG. This drama will change your life. Really well made, writing was amazing. OST is amazing! One of those dramas where the little things come back later on. Everything has purpose and meaning. The two main characters got married in real life!!! 10/10. SO good.

(the main boi legit broke his arm during filming)

Boys over Flowers

Why has everyone seen this one? This is a trash can disguised as a drama. Cheesy, stupid plots, poor communication between the characters that makes you want to scream at them. Yet I couldn’t stop watching it??

Four rich BOIs are the rich SKOOL hot bullies. Poor Gurl comes and ~changes everything~. Leader of the Bois is a jerk-face and of course they fall in love. Love triangles of course. A trash can. An actual trash can. Strangely really long. You must have will power to make it to the end. Watch it, it is a rite of passage.

To the Beautiful You

Korean Hana Kimi for those familiar with the books. Doesn’t follow the books super well but still really good. (So much better than the mess that was the Japanese and Taiwanese versions). It’s really cute and lovely just like the books. Min Ho from Shinee is Sano. He’s a cutie.

Gurl pretends to be a boi and goes to an all bois (college I think? might be high school) to meet her high jumping idol. They end up being roommates and then good friends (and maybe more????). Love triangles. The real OG genderbender. Gay panics. Gay acceptance. An aloof doctor. A cute dog. One of my faves. Plz watch.

You’re Beautiful

Both the Taiwanese and the Korean versions are literally the same scene for scene line for line so just pick one. Gender bender, love triangles. A nun (yes a fucking NUN) Gurl has to pretend to be her twin brother in a band with 3 bois. Can she keep her secret? Will she fall in love with the jerk leader boi and not the other nice boi? Watch to find out. Not the best. Cheesy. Watch if you have nothing else to do or want to laugh at something. Entertaining though.

Moon River

I had such high hopes for this one but it was more of a trash can than Boys over Flowers. Basically the same plot as Boys over Flowers. SO SO BAD. A few redeeming scenes. Not even bad in the way that it’s funny to watch, just bad. Don’t waste your time. I couldn’t even finish this one. 3/10 don’t watch.

Crossing Hero

(Taiwanese) I had a Jiro Wang phase and he directed this one. It’s quirky and cheesy and terrible but I love it. Main boi travels through time to modern day. The two side heroes follow after him into modern day and don’t know how to cope with modern day. The squad gets involved with a reporter and a detective and solve a ~huge~ crime plot. Jiro, our main BOI, just stops showing up in his own drama like halfway through it?? and the side characters become the main characters, which is weird but fine b/c they’re cool.

Horrendously cheesy. Weird. But still good, especially once Jiro stops showing up. Wouldn’t put it anywhere near the top of the To Watch List though. Watch it if you want something totally out of the ordinary.

Oh my Ghostess!

A young virgin ghost possess the body of an extremely shy chef girl to try to bang the head chef and go to Nirvana. The main Gurl getting possessed can actually see ghosts so things get complicated. What happens when main Gurl and main ghost gurl both get the feels for head chef? Will ghost gurl figure out how she died?

Has mystery/crime thriller, spoopy/supernatural, sweet, romance, family, grief and friendship element/themes. Thought this one would be bad but was really surprised at how good it was. Solid drama.

Bring it on Ghost! / Let’s Fight Ghost!

A friend-less boi can see ghosts and fights off ghosts for people for money. Meets a cute high schooler ghost that ends up helping him. Gains two weird ghost obsessed friends (against his will). Will the budding romance between a living boi and a cute ghost gurl ever work out?

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon

YAS QUEEN! A gurl born with super strength is wary of losing her powers and hides them. A serial kidnapper/killer with a creepy baby mask. Crime and mystery drama. A really cute drama. A sweet romance, funny mixed with some sad, decently feministic drama. Great. Watch it.

Suspicious Partner

A lawyer gurl is framed for murdering her ex. A cute prosecutor is caught between doing what is right and trying to not get fired. An unlikely alliance/romance between two people who understand how it feels to be cheated on. Discussion about when the justice system fails, at what point and extent should you take matters into your own hands. Crime thriller, mystery, revenge, law and justice, heartbreak, romance and forgiveness.This one is full of twists and turns. Really good one! Watch it!

ok fam, that’s all of my reviews! Thanks for reading!!!

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honeyedmilks · 7 years

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strong woman do bong soon- the tumbly review

this is gonna come out as a straight up hate post from a tired soul, about a show that could’ve been everything but wasn’t, and i make no apologies for that. it’s messy and unkind (not as unkind as i could be) but... i’m fairly honest.

what i’ll be talking about:

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon (2017)

a biased summary by :

Do Bong Soon, our female lead (played by Park Bo Young), is super strong- thanks to a power that’s been passed down the ladies of her family for years. there’s a serial woman hater in her neighbourhood terrorising everyone, and she gotta stop that asshole! there’s also some good looking men in this show with like four love lines too keep things interesting, and some flailing gangsters who are out there too that she beats up now and then, drinking feces wine. And if this sounds like an awful mess then good, i’m doing the show great justice then.

a general statement and warning about this show:

it’s not good. if you’ve not seen it then please do not waste your time and instead watch literally anything else. i say this out of love for you. if you want a female lead who’s cool and cute and punches things then watch legend of the blue sea. it may not be perfect but it’s better than this.

the production:

the show is visually very pretty in some sense. stylish wardrobe choices, nice landscape shots, cool sets, and a whole showcase of good looking people.

the directing and special effects, the tone of the show, it can all border cheesy, but the intent is to come off quirky, funny and energetic seeing as this a story about a woman with super human strength.

it’s a bit comic bookish, which again makes sense due to the nature of the show and it’s characters. except it doesn’t work all the time. especially not when the bad guy of your show is hardly a comic book character. he’s a misogynistic guy who likes beating up woman and kidnapping them for his own twisted pleasures.

the directing and writing of this show fails to balance out the light and the dark in this show, by downplaying Bong Soon’s powers and by diluting the story with meaningless backstories and characters we didn’t need.

the performances of our leads vary. but the main cast are well known actors, and carry a lot of talent.

Bo Young manages to make our heroine likeable and relatable for a while. She’s believable and gives the show some spark.

Ji Soo who plays our muddled in the heart copper Guk Doo, can be painful to watch in the first half, you end up not liking him and his harshness, but Ji Soo brings a likeable softness to him in the later half.

Park Hyung Sik, much adored and admired by fans, takes on the role of our lonely chaebol, but he’s not just rich and sad guys, he’s also a video game creator, spy man and tech genius, with flawless skin, who goes by the name Ahn MInhyuk. Hyung Sik’s performance starts off lovably eccentric, bouncing between suave and smart, only to slowly dissipate into boring and even annoying. I’ll talk more about him later.

our side characters are even harder to digest- mostly unlikable, with the funnies wearing off far too early in the long run of the show, we don’t care much for them- except from the woman, held hostage by the shitty but uninteresting serial villain.

there were so many plot points that were awful that just slashed the quality of the show too pieces, and i can’t even begin to talk about them.

the soundtrack is nice. it matches the zany inside of the show for the most part. it’s noticeably more fun when we get to Bong Soon’s super hero antics.

the show is bright, bubbly and cleanly set on the outside when it’s a cutesy office rom com, but turns bleak and even mesier when it tries to get serious.

the romance:

loads of people say that they only finished this show for otp loveliness but i couldn’t relate.

people made gif sets with epic romantic quotes... you know those quotes where it’s like “that one guy who looks at this super strong woman and they’re awesome and shit and he loves her strength and shit...” you know those kind? yeah that’s nonsense. here’s why i think so:

Minhyuk sucks as a romantic lead and a partner well mostly when you ship him with Bong Soon. i’m not gonna lie. i was really excited for them at the start, i was head over heels for those moments when he called her sexy for calling him out on being useless and such. i liked their friendly interactions together, but... when you add her strength in the mix, everything turns sour for me.

Ah Minhyuk... i’m not saying that he should love her for her powers, or because she’s someone who has them. he just saw her as Bong Soon, which i mean.. i guess you can call sentimental? but when he says stuff like “yeah ya strong but your just Bong Soon.” like that’s not... romantic?

he doesn’t trust her when she’s like a million trillion times stronger and powerful than him. i don’t see why she had to go to this guy to “control” her powers. i don’t like how he doesn’t think highly of her powers- he’s just shocked and “shook” but not ever in an admiring way. maybe on the surface, it seems like it but... if you look really closely at the way he says things... it’s not like that.

he sucked at helping her when she lots her powers, didn’t comfort in the way you would have hoped.

he underestimates her when she’s A THOUSAND TIMES STRONGER THAN ANYONE ON THIS EARTH- I mean almost everyone has seen a super here movie right? mary jane admire spider man, but also loves peter, but trusts him, he’s always doing the saving but she doesn’t think she’s better than him. lous lane and superman? pepper potts (a cool ass woman btw who’s honestly a bit like min hyuk when it comes to some of her skills) and iron man? thor and jane? yet... swdbs... minhyuk is still the super hero. and there’s no one relying on Bong Soon to save the day because ... she’s just a woman... we need to protect her... we can’t let her endanger herself to save some people when... she’s the only one who possibly could.

this thing in their relationship where he loved Bong Soon with or without her strengths could’ve worked if they had done it well. like if he actually saw how much of a loss she felt when she lost her powers(which she lost for... what reason again?)- instead... it was so underwhelming. he didn’t see her powers as special and heroic... he didn’t see something so amazing like that to be a great loss to her.

i mean, he’s always down playing her powers- loads of people do, but it’s worse when he does. he’s asked her if she was actually a man and then an alien, like you believe a man could spin a car with their bare hands, but not a woman? so obviously she’s an alien if not a man? how am i supposed to enjoy a female superhero when all anyone does is try erase the fact that she’s a woman?

there’s no empowerment that makes you feel anything for them. that’s usually something you sense but it’s just not there. it’s normal to be worried for your partner but there’s literally no sense of trust and admiration. it’s been a while since i watched swdbs, but i’m pretty sure when Bong Soon saves those women Minhyuk isn’t even happy about it... did she not apologise? that’s nonsense.

it’s not just that aspect of their relationship that bothers me- it’s how whiny and annoying Minhyuk can be. people romanticised his “won’t you love me?” line but it’s not a good line. it’s not a romantic line that’s makes me swoon or makes me feel like Bong Soon should like him. he comes off as clingy and pining and like she’s got to be with her because he likes her so much.

he made his bodyguard make him meals... i don’t care how sentimental and sad he is over his mother. he literally moaned on at her.

he kept a tracking device on her?

he gave her a desk in his office. it was a cute desk alright, but he did it to keep her close and he didn’t even take her video game designing game serious; everything about their relationship is so flat.

if he was such a skilled fighter, did he really need to have Bong Soon as his bodyguard? (she was also a terrible bodyguard but you know).

i know i’m nit picking, but i could over look some of these things if there weren’t so many things that made no sense to me. if only half of these things weren’t based on weakening Bong Soon and her relationship with her super strength.

i blame a lot of this on crappy writing because this could’ve been about Bong Soon and her journey to being a hero but it was just nonsensical.

it was all done so crudely that... i just don’t find anything solid about it.

i felt no chemistry- i liked them best when they were bickering or just being friendly.

like Bong Soon saw her powers as some kind of hardship? something she couldn’t show Guk Du, who she was in love with for so long, but sure Minhyuk sees them and accepts them, but he’s not there to help her realise all the things she can do, or admire and respect her. NOTHING MAKES SENSE.

i don’t even know if i’m right in thinking that Minhyuk could’ve been someone to help her harness her powers and be supportive and help her on her way of becoming a superhero- because does a man who loves you have to be the one to make you see your worth as a hero? but he didn’t even not do that, instead, he just felt like an obstacle telling her that she may have powers but she’s still just Bong Soon.

It just seems like a confusing jumble to me.

were the writers trying to normalise her powers in their relationship? because i could watch any other crappy show with a strong woman who’s human talents are put under her to save the man’s fragile masculinity. but she’s got super hero powers... super heroes are admired and thought of as freaking cool and shit- it’s supposed to be awesome and all that jazz. it’s not much fun otherwise

all these things just annoy me. because if they wanted to make Bong Soon’s journey with her powers be her own, then why was Minhyuk such a useless involvement in them? why did he have to come save her from getting stabbed... why... if they’re gonna add romance in with the story line with her powers... why are the writers so scared of making her powerful... why does she need this mediocre mans help?

i don’t care if he’s a ceo... or a tech genius... he used the lgbt identity as some kind of publicity thing, he’s not nearly as zany and cool as he could've been as he just ended up as another person telling Bong Soon she’s not a superhero.

this ain’t the avengers- it should’ve been Bong Soon’s story as a badass super hero, why do i have to see Guk Do and Minhyuk devise some genius dumb ass plan at the end? why not let Bong Soon defeat the asshole on her own?

why are people scared of a woman being mighty? and a man being there for it without having to to larger than her? while caring for her safety at the same time? it’s just so poorly done. all these things shadow over any cuteness and softness these two had.

Bong Soon, I see why she would fall for him, but in the end, I really didn’t care about them.

it’s almost like her powers are a plot device for their romance. it wasn’t an epic story about a girl with out of this world strength.

i guess their is a development that can be viewed as nice at that point where Minhyuk has to process the discovery of our leading lady being the same mysterious girl that saved his life. he has to love Bong Soon but also separate his idolisation for this hooded girl from his image of Bong Soon and then combine it all at once so what he feels is real love for Bong Soon as he had known her before. so it’s not some twisted sort of mess that’s him loving but then also being with someone he imagined as an angel sent from above by his mother.

it can be seen as romantic that he would take a knife wound for Bong Soon and call people to take her wild drunk videos offline, but it comes at the expense of Bong Soon and her image as a strong women. like she can be weak at points in the story, it’s called character development, but to be constantly pulled under him isn’t what i would call pro female superhero story telling. it’s not feminist and it’s not a romantic dynamic i want to root for.

his heroic acts kept climbing higher than Bong Soon’s, and when we got to hers he was still there, apparently doing half the work.

the characters:

Minhyuk: some final ranting about him. i’ve noticed that Hyung Sik has a pattern when it comes to acting out his male characters; no matter how soft and cute they are, they always have this brimming masculine toxicity to them. in swdbs it’s really unbalanced (even worse in hwarang). i honestly tried feeling sympathy for him, with his messed up family and his dead mum and all that but he was honesty no fun to watch. he wasn’t offbeat and interesting. he was saturated down to some rich ceo manly man who said that he was a “healthy man” instead of gay.

like he could’ve been so much interesting if he actually were bisexual or a supporter of lgbt rights, if he weren’t making Bong Soon do this and that, asking if she were a man and pining here and there- honestly these characters are such a waste of potential.

Bong Soon: i’ve not talked enough about her. i like how she can be brash and i like how she can be caring with her friends, and i know she’s not a genius of any kind but she can be a bit thick. the writing sacrificed Bong Soon’s intelligence for plot points- like she wouldn’t be that careless to send her friend out on her own when their’s a kidnapper out there would she? and then be so mad that she had to catch the guy?

she has like three interests. Guk Do, video games and cooking. i just wish she were more developed, i wish this story was about her and not a thousand other things.

i really loved how feminine she was at the same time as being strong. you can be powerful and kick ass, unashamedly girly and womanly and sensitive all at once, without erasing any of the other things to make way for the other. but lazy sloppy writing didn’t let these aspects of her character shine.

i liked how Bong Soon, for the most part, was very unlike her mother. her mother was abusive and mean and even though the show tried to redeem her, she still should've been called out for her behaviour because if you’re gonna write how woman can be just as horrible as men who are domestic abusers then you better hold them to the same standard and let your viewers know that it’s wrong.

Bong Soon was flawed, and i’m not going to lie about that- but her flaws were used for comedy. and i don’t know if i like that or not.

i wasn’t a fan of how she favoured people over the other- like the case with sleeping Guk Doo and Minhyuk but now that i think about it... i don’t care if she treated Minhyuk meanly or cursed him behind his back.

the way she viewed her powers and the way she handled them... was a convoluted tangle. she wanted to keep her powers secret and couldn’t hurt people but ended up making a mess almost everywhere, she said she never used her powers to help people and we were supposed to see this decision she made to step up and use her powers for good as a turning point but we know she’d been doing kind things with her powers for a while by helping old grannies up streets and saving people from the fate of a broken bus. her relationship with her family gift is not clear. there is no clear arc in this story

she’s not a fantastic female lead, which should’ve been the case since, well, THE SHOW IS NAMED AFTER HER AND HER STRENGTH. so that’s disappointing.

but again, in the hands of capable writers, she could’ve been an audience favourite.

Guk Doo: at first, we all pretty much hated him. whenever he came on screen i felt like i was suffering for some sin i committed in the past week.

but in the end, as we got to see how he felt about Bong Soon and when he found out about her powers- i really liked him. i liked him when he told his (not great) girlfriend about how he felt about someone else. in fact, i liked Guk Doo because he was never short of caring. even though he was busy and forgetful, he always tried to make up for it. he still cared about her. okay so maybe the whole bit where he realised he loved Bong Soon was a mess but again there’s the case of rubbish writing.

he didn’t think Bong Soon was fragile and needed protecting because she’s a small women. he didn’t say his type of woman has to be small and flowery and fragile out of vanity or misogyny... he says it because that’s what he thought Bong Soon was, as she led him to believe. I phrased that badly but in short i’m saying he loved Bong Soon as he thought she was, and loved her still and as much with her powers in a way that felt sweet and sad (because as that moment rolled around when he found out about her powers, her heart was already somewhere else).

dramabeans said it better and i’ll paraphrase: this image of his ideal women that he painted out loud was based around Bong Soon and when he find out about her powers and how she’s not as weak as she led him to believe, that feeling of love didn’t change.

he was also mature and almost gentle while he handled the discovery of her secret, fairly well might i add, as he realised all the things he missed as they were growing up.

the villain: awful, who’s crimes on screen could potentially hurt people who’ve been abused in the past as they watch. the fact that the point in this was to have a women hater be defeated by a powerful woman was not driven home well. it could’ve been so good but instead we got a noodley thin version of this premise.

side characters: they were tiring. we didn’t need half of them. some stayed too long and the joke soon turned stale. some where offensive. Guk Doo’s girlfriend all i can say is... at least she talked to him and was honest in the end (after doing things behind his back).

in conclusion:

i’m tired of people saying that the main pair are a power couple and that they’re the otp of all otp’s.

the show is so overrated. it deserves the harsh comments that come it’s way. it was rampant with offensive bits for laughs and maybe we could let this show slide if it weren’t for these rubbish jokes, and how serious it took it’s main themes of women and power only to botch it completely.

other people's posts have been much more concise and articulate as they describe what i’ve talked about. these are just the thought’s i had to get out of my sore head.

here is a post that is very clear about what’s wrong with this show, in a much quicker way. and i whole heatedly agree with it.

anyways. yeah this was rubbish and if you have high hopes for this like most of us did, then you’ll be sorely disappointed.

#strong woman do bong soon #swdbs #kdramanetwork #kdrama review #tumbly reviews #sorry for any typos!! this is basically a hate post i really couldn't be bothered being objective lmfaooo

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marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer · 7 years

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MTVS Epic Rewatch #162

VM 3x06 Hi, Infidelity

Stray thoughts

1) Even though there had been some things so far that had bothered me, this right here is probably the hardest pill to swallow for me:

DEAN O'DELL: Yes. We have photos, we have witnesses, we have the boyfriend who helped. There's no question Claire lied about the rape and the Hearst Charter is quite clear about this. You want to challenge the charter, that's fine. We have lawyers too, and they're a lot scarier than you, Mr. Davis. Miss Nordhouse. You're expelled from Hearst College as of this moment, and so is your lawyer. That's all.

In theory, I get what the writers were trying to do. Neptune is corrupted, no one is 100% good or evil, the moral lines are blurred and good people do bad things even if they have good reasons/mean well (Veronica is the prime example of this, btw.) This is, after all, one of the things I love the most about this show, and it’s something I always looked forward to. I would’ve been all for it if it had been any social issue but rape. This is one of the most sensitive social issues, and when you have the feminist group who is demanding action against the serial rapes on campus faking a rape, you’re sending the wrong kind of message. I know that there are “bad seeds” in almost any organization, mostly because there are bad people everywhere. But when you’re working with media, you need to be careful with the kind of message you’re sending. Someone who is not acquainted with the purpose of feminist organizations like Take Back the Night may draw the wrong kind of conclusion about feminism/feminist organizations by watching the show. This episode and the way the Take Back the Night organization was portrayed in season 3 perpetuates the idea that women often, if not always, lie about being raped. It’s a slippery slope from “this one girl lied about being raped” to “every girl lies about being raped, they’re lying/overreacting/playing victim”. It’s especially jarring when you consider this is literally what happened to Veronica on the very first episode of the show. But the real issue here is that writers chose to take a very problematic stance: “rape is bad, but feminist groups protesting against rape are not good either”. NO. Rape is bad. Period. There can’t be a middle ground when it comes to rape, not even in fiction. There is no “but.”

2) Oh, Wallace...

WINKLER: This is hardly the first time we've caught an athlete cheating. With Mr. Fennel, I'll take some of the blame. We usually don't take athletes in the programme, it's just too demanding, especially with standardised test scores as low as his.

He’s pissed that the professor is calling him out on his low grades and making assumptions about his academic potential because he is an athlete, but like, your actions kind of proved him right, Wallace. So, yeah, you lost your rights to complain about his prejudices.

3) This really doesn’t sound like Veronica?

LANDRY: The whole of human knowledge, right there online, and these papers are thin. Am I crazy to expect better? And if you're confused as to what better is, let me direct you to the front, where I've posted our only example of A-calibre work. Nice job, Miss Mars. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Well, this should make me popular.

A) When has Veronica cared about making friends? B) When has Veronica cared more about being popular than getting good grades? I’m sorry, but did the writers forget how she decided to introduce herself to the whole class on the first episode? By purposefully showing off her smarts and alienating herself from her classmates while pissing off the T.A. at the same time? If anything, Veronica would be 100% proud she aced the essay AND that her classmates hate her for it. She kind of gets off on being hated.

4) Not plot related, but I couldn’t help but notice this continuity error...

next shot:

5) So, when Harmony invites Keith to go out on a date with her, before saying yes, Keith glances over towards Veronica’s room and swallows. He knows exactly what he’s agreeing to and he knows that not only will Veronica not approve, but also she will be extremely disappointed in him.

VERONICA: There's no way. Someone is trying to screw with me. TIMOTHY: You think it's me? You think I'm trying to get you out of Landry's class because I don't like you? VERONICA: Wait. You don't like me?

She sounds genuinely surprised, she’s not being sarcastic, but why would she be surprised? She hadn’t been trying to be likable or agreeable from day one, so... The real surprise would be if someone actually liked her, am I right?

7) Let’s take a closer look at this exchange, shall we?

PIZ: Hey, Veronica. Can you believe this? Some lady threw her husband out of the house, right, and now she's having a garage sale of all of his stuff. London Calling, vinyl, unscratched, ninety-nine cents. Awesome, right? VERONICA: My would-be mentor/professor just gave me three days to prove I didn't plagiarise a major paper. The universe is currently aligned against me, so nothing's awesome. PIZ: You know what you should do? You should come bowling.

From the get-go, Veronica’s not in a chatty mood, but Piz is too wrapped up in his own stuff to either notice or care. When it’s her turn to talk, Veronica lets him know she’s not having the best day so no, she couldn’t care less about his record or how awesome it is. Instead of showing some sympathy or understanding, he invites her on a date...

Same, Veronica. SAME. Just remember that you will actually date this prick.

8) Unpopular opinion: I like Jeff Ratner. I get Jeff Ratner. I would probably be Jeff Ratner if I lived in Neptune.

JEFF: I did it. Jeff Ratner. VERONICA: Ratner. Um, have we met before? JEFF: We have, but you probably don't remember, so...whatever. VERONICA: So, you reported me. Why did you- JEFF: Why? Maybe 'cause I'm a common man kind of guy, and I like it when some teacher's pet who's destroying the curve for everyone, gets exposed as a cheat. Yeah, you cheated. I caught you. Deal with it.

Listen to me, okay? To begin with, he’s one of the few people who doesn’t shake in his boots when confronted by Veronica. He’s not afraid to call her out on her bullshit, and I respect that. Veronica is feared by her enemies, deified by her allies, and respected by both. Jeff Ratner has no time for her bullshit, and I get it. I like the idea that he is not the typical antagonist for Veronica. Instead, he’s just a regular dude - one of hundreds who have come across Veronica while she was doing her thing, and who she didn’t care enough to learn the names of or even to acknowledge their existence and how her actions might affect them. Veronica has met Jeff, as we will learn later on. She has probably seen him tens of times. And yet, she doesn’t even remember seeing his face, let alone his name. In Jeff Ratner’s eyes, Veronica is just another privileged white girl who’s dating the son of a millionaire and who’s a snob that doesn’t care enough to learn the names of the people who serve her. He probably thinks she looks down on people like him, and he has probably seen her getting away with things people like him couldn’t. And that is exactly who Veronica is in his eyes. He’s not seeing her wrong, he’s seeing the parts of her that he’s gotten to see through their interactions. That’s the Veronica that he got to know.

9) Classic Logan...

PROCTOR: I'm sorry. LOGAN: What about? PROCTOR: I called time and you kept writing. I can't accept your test. LOGAN: Yeah, I was just finishing my- PROCTOR: Time was called. I'm sorry. LOGAN: So you keep saying, dude, but, come on. PROCTOR: Mm-um. LOGAN: Do you have any idea who I am? PROCTOR: I don't and I don't care. Rules are rules for everyone.

I love that at first, it seems he’s trying to use his name to put pressure on the proctor, but in reality, he was just trying to gauge if he could get away with shuffling his test amongst the others. This is the kind of asshole Logan I love.

10) So, Weevil’s the new Wallace?

The upside of landing Weevil the maintenance job? I get to baby-sit his keys while he's away at his cousin's wedding.

11) Good Wallace, proud of you.

WINKLER: Mr. Fennel. I was under the impression you dropped the class. WALLACE: I said I'd think about it. WINKLER: You sure this is a smart choice? WALLACE: Probably not. But you've seen my standardised test scores. I'm not a particularly smart guy, right? I'm taking the zero. There are four more tests. If I average Cs or above on all of them, I'll pass. Even I can do that, man.

12) I’m always here for Jealous Veronica.

13) Come on, Piz, are you really surprised and disappointed that the girl who has a boyfriend shows up with said boyfriend to your fake “group hang”?

Also, Logan 100% knows what’s what.

14) Gosh, Parker, you got it right the first time around, what made you like him after the double date? He was acting like a pissy eunuch.

PARKER: I can't believe you invite me out for the first time since I was...raped on some cheesy, double date set-up with that Piz guy.

15) See? This is why I like, nay, LOVE Jeff Ratner.

VERONICA: This is the guy who's trying to get me tossed out of Landry's class. JEFF: You should be. You cheated. VERONICA: Now it turns out you work at the Neptune Grand which happens to be where the fake paper was posted from. Strange, huh, Rory Finch. JEFF: What are you talking about? I don't happen to work here. I've worked here two years. You've seen me a hundred times but you don't notice the little people, 'cause you're too busy lounging with Captain Moneybags, here. LOGAN: That's Admiral Moneybags.

I honestly started laughing my ass off when he calls Logan “Captain Moneybags” and legit had to pause the episode. (and I’ve watched this a ton of times!)

16) THIS,

A) I love how proud of her Logan is. He truly loves her for who she is, and that’s beautiful. B) Oh, Veronica, Veronica. You will never learn, will you? She only has circumstantial evidence against Jeff, and let’s face it, if he had gone to such lengths as to post the fake paper online and then turn her in, why would he own up to accusing her in front of everyone and without any hesitation? Of course, that doesn’t register for Veronica. She thinks he’s guilty, ergo he must be. She just needs to prove it. But before, she needs to get her revenge on. (more on that later...)

17) This moment is so fucking awful and disgusting in hindsight, though... seriously, it creeps me out so much, I hate it.

VERONICA: Parker, are you okay? PARKER: Oh, that guy, Mercer. I, just...his cologne. I smelled it before. VERONICA: Yeah? PARKER: It's like burned into my brain...from the night I was raped. I mean, I-I can't be sure but...oh, I just-I just got the worst- VERONICA: Vibe? Yeah.

She knows, she can feel it, and can you imagine how triggering that moment must have been? This is the first evidence in the episode that points towards Mercer being the rapist. We’ll get ALL the evidence in this episode, which was a really bold move on the part of the writers. They were literally disclosing the identity of the rapist three episodes before the arc was to be solved. But more on this later (probably on my recap for the next episode, I hope I don’t forget!)

And EXHIBIT B:

18)

VERONICA: I'm here about the rapes at Hearst. LAMB: Already aware of them. Thanks for coming by. I'm real busy. VERONICA: This is sketchy, but- LAMB: If it's Bigfoot, we checked. He's got an alibi. VERONICA: Oh, rape humour. It never gets old.

Well, Veronica, isn’t the pot calling the kettle black? I mean, you sure did find it funny when you were mocking Chip for getting an egg shoved up his ass.

19) EXHIBIT C:

LAMB: We finally found the stolen cashbox and...along with all the money, we found something interesting. Two vials of GHB, the same date rape drug the rapist used on two of his victims.

(this clearly explains why he was so reluctant to give up the cashbox to the robbers in President Evil, so much so that he even considered letting them kill another kid if that meant they wouldn’t take the cashbox.)

20) Hi, Infidelity #1

21) Hi, Infidelity #2

22) Yes, seeing Keith’s car being hit sure scared the hell out of me. But, like, he literally stopped his car in the middle of the crossroads? So it’s almost like he was looking to get hit and have a near-death experience to give himself an excuse so that going over to Harmony’s would feel okay and right.

Seriously?! Do you see where he stopped his car?????

And I’m sorry, but almost dying doesn’t make this okay? Like, if you died tomorrow, you still would’ve had an affair with a married woman. The fact that you almost died doesn’t magically excuse your actions. (and this is very very similar to what Veronica did with Duncan in Driver Ed.)

24) Can you really blame Ratner for hating Veronica, though?

She had set this up BEFORE actually finding out if he was really guilty of framing her or not. Then, she figured out who actually did it, and she COMPLETELY FORGOT SHE HAD DONE THIS TO GET HIM FIRED. Self-involved much? Also, this poor kid clearly needed the job, I don’t care if he’s an asshole who ratted you out, this is so fucking mean.

25) Hi, Infidelity #3

LOGAN: It's Mercer. Lamb just arrested him for the rapes on campus. He didn't do it, okay? You have to help. VERONICA: How do you know he didn't do it? LOGAN: 'Cause I was with him the night of the rape this summer. VERONICA: Where? Doing what? LOGAN: I can't tell you, okay, but you have to trust me. He's innocent.

#Veronica Mars #VM #Kristen Bell #Rob Thomas #Jason Dohring #MTVSepicrewatch #VMrewatch2015 #Hi Infidelity #mine #recap #vmrecap

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